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#im coming back from the dead

thatweirdoleigh · 10 months

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A/N: Hi yall. I know I haven't been around. I've been busy and then I got stuck.

This is an incomplete WIP. I'm not sure if ill finish it but I'm posting it in an attempt to either let it go or get more momentum. there are several more and I probably will be posting all of them or at least a "concept" post for them.

A/N#2: I tried/planned a whumptober series as I'm sure some of you remember (I think I posted about it?) I was on a major SoC kick since I had just read the books. Not all of them were SoC but most of them were. This is a part of that series. Enjoy!

Taglist: feel free to ask to be added or removed

@imgoingtofreakoutnow @elijahs-wife @yn-ymn-yln @transgendercannibal @xxwritemeastoryxx @hellotvshowtrash @dizzydancingdreamer

The first thing Kaz noticed as he walked into the kitchen of the Slat was he was the last one awake, which was strange because it was 6:30 in the morning and he was always up first with the occasional exception of Inej. The second thing Kaz noticed was it was quiet; too quiet. And the third and most concerning thing that Kaz noticed was the behavior of his Crows. Matthias was practically cradling Nina who was staring silently at Jesper. Her eyes were worried and calculated, never straying from his face. Directly across from them pressed into Jesper’s side was Wylan. He had a paper in his hand eyes darting between Jesper and the page. His hands shook as he mouthed words that were read out to him. He was doing it with such intensity that Kaz would have thought someone’s life depended on it. Silently moving around the others seemly trying to keep herself moving was Inej making waffles. But what was most unnerving was Jesper, sitting at the table completely silent staring blankly at his hands as if he couldn’t puzzle out what they were.

Kaz never wastes breath on empty words “What’s going on?”

Inej didn’t falter as she shoved a cup of coffee into his hands still hot but the perfect temperature to chug at any moment.

“Jes had a nightmare” was all she said, voice clipped.

“It wasn’t a nightmare,” Jesper said quietly as he rose. Kaz seemingly snapped him out of his stupor.

“it was just a really weird dream” He claimed, eyes wandering before finally landing on the coffee behind Inej. Wylan’s eyes latched onto him. These were the first words he had said since he woke up, all morning. Not that Kaz knew that. Jesper slept a floor below him and while the walls in the Slat were thin, the floors weren’t, save for the vents.

“I’d call it a nightmare,” said Wylan, His voice unsteady and quiet as if afraid to startle the Zemini boy. “You were screaming”

Jesper poured himself a cup of coffee, adding more sugar than cream. His back faced his boyfriend. He visibly tensed at his lover’s words, shoulders creeping up as if trying to protect him from something he couldn’t see. But he turned around with Inej’s plate of waffles, smiling bright and unaffected, “Who wants waffles?”

He asked warmly and placed the stack on the table, possibly more roughly than he would have any other day. He sat down and helped himself to the fluffy food. Everyone dug in.

It wasn’t complete silence. The Dregs start to wake with the rising sun. Members come down the stairs and leave into the cold of the early winter to find warm food to fill their bellies.

The kitchen in the Slat wasn’t big enough to feed the whole gang. Kaz and his Crows were the only ones who ever actually ate within the uneven building. A symbol to the other members, of who was in Kaz’s elite, despite Kaz denying up and down he didn’t pick favorites. The city streets crawl alive outside the doors. It was quiet for a few moments before the gruff of Kaz’s voice rumbled in the silence.

“What was the dream?” Kaz prompted, unreadable like any other day but seemingly interested in the topic of conversation as he sat across from Jesper. Inej is at his left. His cane pressed against her leg.

Jesper shook his head but Kaz took notice of how, he glanced up but wouldn’t meet his eyes. His shoulders curling in on him again, having loosened up while he was eating,

“It was some freaky dream about a dead kid, begging me to give a message to his brother,” Jesper said nonchalantly shoving more waffles in his mouth, not wanting to answer more questions. Jesper hated the dream. Hated that it plagued him every night. Hated that he woke up screaming this time. He hated the gnawing growing pit in his stomach that wouldn’t leave for hours every morning. The damn thing was making him lose his appetite and his sleep. If this continued much longer it would start affecting his shot, and make him unsteady. Kaz would not be too pleased with that. So despite nausea, ignoring the bile that rose up his throat at the sickly sweet syrup contrasting with the bitter acidic coffee and the waffles that swelled in his stomach, Jesper force-fed himself, having learned the danger of not eating, the hard way, on a job a few years back. And every night he pressed himself as tightly as he could into Wylan, begging, hoping, and praying, to whatever saint or god had mercy, he might sleep soundly that night.

“This is what he was writing” Wylan’s voice cut through Jesper’s thoughts causing his sinking dread and anxiety to deepen as the Merchling handed the paper to Kaz.

“Nina read it out to me. I had to grab his hands to get him to stop,” he explained his voice low to keep his voice steady but Wylan’s eyes betrayed his fear. Kaz took the paper from him and read the words in Jesper’s panicked and chaotic scrawl.

I’m sorry I failed you. I love you. I’m watching you from above.

What the Hell? Kaz thought. The words were repeated over and over again getting more frantic as they travel down the page.

“And what is this?” Kaz said interrogatively looking at his best friend.

Jesper swallowed around the lump in his throat, “It was what he said” Jesper murmured. His eyes flickered to Kaz’s face, “The kid. The message. That’s what he said.”

He maintained his façade of being unaffected but he still wouldn’t look Kaz in the eyes. Kaz's eyes flicked back and forth around his face before addressing the room.

“We have a job tomorrow. Do what you need to do today. We’ll discuss the plan later,” Kaz said authoritatively rising from his seat and heading towards the entrance. Swiftly the rest of the crows rose to go on about their day. Jesper followed sticking close to Kaz, body drifting into autopilot as his mind wandered back to the dream.

The sky had swirled with galaxies of green and teal. The stars blindingly bright enough to light the street like it was a cloudy day. The first time Jesper woke up in Kaz’s bedroom in the slat body aching. He had gotten shot on a job. His wounds freshly bandaged courtesy of Nina and Inej. Mine still foggy from the blood loss. As his eyes wander around the room, he flinched at the boy standing at the end of the bed. His eyes were cloudy, swirls of gray and white, the sockets sunken in. He had what was once a head of thick black curls, now falling in out in clumps. Dark freckles dance across his cheekbones and nose bridge, a reminder of something that was tragically human. He wore farm clothes and was all corded muscle, like Kaz, only broader in the shoulders. And his entire body was drenched in water. Dripping from his hair and running down his hollow cheeks and from his cold eyes. A walking corpse that clawed and crawled its way out of the harbor.

“Can you hear me?” the boy asked his voice deep and warped as if he were speaking underwater. Jesper’s eyes widened entire body tensing in preparation for a fight. Fists clenched tight without the familiar weight of his guns, Jesper nodded. The boy was visibly angry but his tone was desperate.

“You will give my brother a message. Word for word. Do not paraphrase or mix it up.”

And then he said, his tone just as desperate but filled with a indescribable grief

‘I’m sorry that I failed you. I love you . And I’m watching you from above .

Jesper bristled. Irritation replacing fear. Who the fuck is this kid demanding he do this for him while he’s bedridden and in pain? “Who are you and why should I do this?” Jesper challenged.

The boy recoiled in surprise. Eyes focusing slightly, as if he were seeing Jesper for the first time. He threw his head back and laughed. A sound that make Jesper’s hairs stand up on edge. Something rabid, vicious, unforgiving; unhuman. It sounded like choking. Like someone choking on water, gasping for air, unable to breathe. And then he said, “ You will do this for me because I am something you cannot explain. As for who I am, my name is Jordie Rietveld and you will give my message to my brother.”

That was how the first dream went. It had followed a job gone wrong. Jesper damn near bled out under Kaz’s hands. The Zemini was too weak to keep pressure on his own wounds. He had woken up in Kaz’s room with Wylan clutching his arms. His fingertips over his pulse even in his sleep. Jesper had chalked it up to a white light hallucination, but after he had the second, the third, and fourth, he couldn’t deny the dream. As the boy and the message began to pound between his ears, day and night, he obsessed over finding this damn kid’s brother but he didn’t know where to start.

Kaz liked to pride himself on being a very observant person. Not that it mattered, Jesper was easy to read unless he was actively lying or bluffing. Anyone who was paying attention would quickly clock onto the fact that something was bothering Jesper. It wasn’t hard to figure out why.

Images flash through Kaz’s mind as someone shoulder-checked him on the street unaware that they were touching Kaz Brekker.

Jesper’s blood, soaked through his gloves, his clothes, coating his skin, as he fought against the waters of his demons to keep the sharpshooter alive. The pale look in Jesper’s eyes contrasted with the little smile he gave as he said it was ok. He begged Kaz, to run, to leave him, if only to save himself. The horrible aching silence as Jesper lurked on death's door, his voice finally draining away with the blood loss. And finally, the bloated corpse of Jordie pressed against him, underneath his hands.

An image from his nightmare.

A violating recreation where Jordie replaced Jesper and Kaz fails them both. Needless to say, Dirtyhands and the little boy trapped within his soul had been very protective of their sharpshooter in recent weeks.

So when Kaz took note of Jesper tailing him while lost in his own thoughts he figured it was the best idea to go to the Crow Club and supply his friend with some alcohol and try to get himself and his brother Sharpshooter back up to par.

As they approached the Crow Club, the big sculpted head mounted above, Kaz breathed a silent sigh of relief when he saw Matthias and Rotty by the door and Nina behind the bar with Anika and the other bartenders. Inej and Wylan were nearby among the crowd. They were all here. All his best men within eyesight. He could relax. Have a drink. I can get Jesper to stop curling into himself like someone is gonna hit him at any moment Kaz thought.

#angst #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #soc #wip #wip stuff #inej gafha #matthais helvar #nina zenik #wylan van sunshine #jordie rietveld #kaz has tramua #im coming back from the dead

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jetstargf · 2 years

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playing headfirst for halos “i think i’ll blow my brains agaist the ceiling” and then immediately playing famous last words “i am not afraid to keep on living” my brain is overheating w emotions

#and fashion statement like #im coming back from the dead #wow we're just hitting all the make milo cry buttons..#my chemical romance #mcrnj2

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maiaczy · 3 months

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hi!! first of all i just found your acc and your art is literally so pretty!! literally jealous, i hope you have an amazing day/week/life :)! second, not sure if they’re still open and no worries if they aren’t, but could i request a fugo drawing? either way seriously love your art thank you for making it and existing and stuff!!!

Ahhh thank you sm!! Here you go, he was really fun to draw

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rock-in-robins · 2 months

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thinking thoughts about the core four cooking together after a rough mission

kon is doing most of it because the others are disasters and he's the best cook, he was taught by Ma who is arguably the best cook any of them know, he also enjoys it more than the rest of them do

Tim is in charge of chopping things and absolutely not aloud to touch the seasonings or anything flavored wise, he will add the weirdest things claiming they make it 'better'

Cassie is in charge of dessert so she's in her little corner making cookies. she's also got the playlist going and is in a passionate debate with all of them about the correct things to put in cookie batter

Bart's, who can very much cook but hates it, is coming and going, stealing food and handing people things, he's egging on tim's arguments to add increasingly strange things to the meal

by the end they have a tasty meal that is edible to most of humanity, despite tim's best efforts. Cassie's chocolate chip cookies turn out lovely, but somehow sprinkles ended up in them and none of them are quite sure how. they continue to rebinge all of their favourite comfort shows

#i'm coming back from the dead because im sick and have been thinking about them #tim drake #young justice 1998 #cassie sandsmark #yj98 #young just us #bart allen #kon el #cassandra sandsmark

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ambrosykim · 6 months

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i find it an interesting detail that this is where the thumbnail comes from, specifically the frame where he says "demonized" (from the titular song)

now i've only watched npmd once so idk if there's any like. subtext as to if max was a typical bully in how if he bullied others due to his own background or insecurities or if he was just genuinely just a terrible person, but it seems interesting that starkid chose this specific frame to go on the thumbnail (i get it he does look frightening and cool at once and it conveys the vibe of the musical)

i mean it's obvious that he's a completely deranged person (i think especially after coming back from the dead) but yeah, what i thought was interesting, was that by starkid choosing this specific frame, they're also immediately demonizing him to anyone that stumbles upon the musical, even before starting it so!!!

#npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #nett rambles #um. yeah idk if this makes any sense i just noticed it and was like. WHAT #can a smarter person who's got media analysis skills and has seen npmd more times come and tell me if im making shit up #and tbh. when i watch npmd the song i switch between wow i hate him and wow he was misunderstood </3 so. :///#ALSO!! in the song this is the part where he goes on about how he doesn't care what they did to his body #but honestly i'm not sure how truthful he's being?#(which fair he's just come back from the dead he might not wanna have a heart to heart esp with the kid that helped kill him <3)

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lateraniansweets · 7 months

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ik gojo as a girl dad is rly popular on tumblr but like i can't help but imagine him with a boy hhhhhh like thinking about a...

satoru who has to relearn how to be gentle once again once your son comes into the picture. he had to relearn the concept of gentleness with you and now he has to do it again for your boy.

satoru who's scared shitless of fatherhood. he's scared of fucking up, of hurting his kid in any way possible.

satoru who's title of 'the strongest' takes on a whole new meaning when his son calls him that, eyes sparkling with pride as he shouts 'my dad's the strongest!'

just-JUST HHHHHHHHHHHHHH gojo satoru as a dad just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *dies* *goes insane* *dies*

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #these are like some leftover thoughts on something im cooking #shoutout to my moot who's been going insnae with me over this #coming back from the dead to ignore champter 236 rahhhhhhhhh

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s-aint-elmo · 3 months

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I'm so glad I'm not the only one obsessed with the Marcille Laios Falin gang. Like they are a unit.... A team.... Even if the rest of the party fell apart they would stay together.... Idk it's just really fun to see all the different groups everyone falls into across the course of dungeon meshi and I love how you can tell that the three of them are a unit even as they are separated for most of the manga.

YEAH!!!! that day in the laughing wolf when falin first stopped marcille from perma-killing her brother that was fate in motion binding them together for the rest of their lives. (/hj but also i have a vague nebulous idea for a series of drawings of the toudens + marcille thru the years starting w the laughing wolf.) i love how we know that in both laios and marcille's ideal visions for the far future they are together with falin and that by the end they make it happen. i love that they both started off being connected only by the strength of their love for falin but eventually developed their own deep closeness that cemented their trio as a balanced whole.

i don't see laimar romantically the way i do farcille but those two for sure mean as much to each other as falin does to them. i love laios's strongest impression of marcille being the moment she gave it all to bring falin back. i love marcille speaking to laios's corpse with her cheek laid on his cold breastplate. i love laios looking out for marcille's comfort and enjoyment as the baseline for the party because she's the most expressive about her feelings. i love marcille always being the first to notice when laios is being dodgy as all hell and making him spit it out.

however it shakes out those three are family 5ever and we all know the lengths they'd go to if they were ever to be separated <333

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #ask #mine #im always thinking of marcille and her toudens. in the backburner i have vague plans to draw chilchuck teaching them how to braid her hair #before he leaves bc marcille won't stop hounding him. and neither of them being good at it #even further back i have contemplated a ''what if marcille slipped up before canon and got drafted into the canaries shortly before she was #going to reunite with falin and so the first time she meets laios it is in the bowels of the dungeon learning that falin is dead'' au but #i am not good at for want of a nail plots so i just drew canary marcille and called it a day. but the laimar enemies to family slowburn #would have been insane bc now marcille's initial dislike of laios can be fueled into hatred that is in part bc of his dragging falin into #this life and in part her own failing to make it back to falin and prevent this from happening #that's my vision but it is unlikely it will ever see the light of day so in the tags it goes thank you for coming to my tedtalk

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ama-dragonfishquest2 · 2 months

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Ichiban! Looking so handsome with your punch perm🖤! Masato’s kind of a jerk isn’t he?

(Don’t worry, it’s safe to admit so lol)

"I'm not THAT bad! I-I just didn't realize I was running low on MP during that last fight... I've gotten better over the years though, you have to give me that at least!"

#response #ichiban #masato #[[implied lmao]]#004 #[[//comes back from the dead two months later// hi ......]]#[[I SWEAR IVE BEEN WANTING TO UPDATE BUT THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME]]#[[ive literally had this drafted for the past month im gonna throw up]]

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