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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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Request: First of all, congratulations on 1,000!!!! Could you do a a sequel to Interloper where maybe an interviewer is giving her shit for having once been a groupie and Bri Rog and Deaky defend her and have amazing sex after at like their hotel 😂-foursome anon (I’m back)

Interloper / Snapshots From Before (Prequel)

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Brian May x John Deacon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+), gangbang/foursome, oral sex (m and f receiving), anal sex, tit fucking, light choking, slightly dom reader, cheer up sex, some spanking, double and triple penetration

Words: 6,145

A/N: This was another request from back at my 1000 follower celebration last year. It’s been sitting half written in my drafts since then and I finally felt inspired to finish it lmao. Foursome anon I hope you’re still around and you see this!!

Blurb Advent: Day 10

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies

Doing press wasn’t easy, especially when interviewers insisted on questioning you all separately. You preferred having at least one of the boys to back you up. They’d been dealing with the whole interview process for so long now they knew how to avoid answering things they didn’t want to, knew how to deal with rude reporters. But it was all new to you. Perhaps that was why this particular interview had gone so badly. There was no Freddie to make the right snide comment, no Roger to get pissed off on your behalf, no Brian or John to squeeze your knee comfortingly or take over when you go tongue tied.

Things between you and the rest of the band had been going much better since Freddie had locked you in that room together. It didn’t happen overnight, there were still lingering tensions. But any badmouthing they did of you was out of your hearing which you much preferred. Gradually, as the tour wore on, there were less tensions. They got used to having you around, began including you in their games of scrabble and their not-quite-awake conversations over hotel breakfasts. Until one day, in the final leg of the tour, when Freddie admitted to you quietly that he hadn’t overheard any whispered comments for nearly a week. “And here I was thinking we’d never get there.” “Oh hush, darling, I told you from the beginning they wouldn’t hate you forever. Sure they took a little longer to come around than I had anticipated but it all worked out in the end. And now when you tell them the execs have asked for another full album featuring you, they probably won’t kill you.” They hadn’t, of course, though you’d worried for the safety of everyone involved in making the decision. Roger looked as if he were a second away from punching the first person to talk to him.

They took less time to calm down though, especially after they saw how nervous you got before the first interview. Your agent had decided some preliminary press would help build excitement for the album before the songs were even written. Calls were made, journalists were found, and before you knew it you were facing a crowd of people vying to ask you their questions, cameras flashing the whole time. It was a lot. More than pushing you into the deep end, you’d be thrown to the bloody sharks. Any lingering ill will the boys had for you vanished after that. They’d all thankfully been there too, had drawn the attention to themselves rather than let you struggle to answer everything on your own. After that they’d kept an eye on you during the smaller interviews. Mostly the reporters were happy to talk to you all together and, as long as you said one or two things about how excited you were to be working with Queen again, and how much fun touring with them was, you could get away with letting them take lead. But every now and then you got stuck with some jackass who wanted to quiz you solo. And this interview, this horrid interview, had been one of them.

Roger pushed the magazine away from himself, letting it slide as far down your kitchen table as it would go. “She’s a fucking bitch that reporter.” You looked down at the magazine, still open to your interview, the headline alone making your stomach turn. “No, sorry, that’s an insult to dogs. She’s a fucking cunt.” “Rog,” “No, that’s an insult to vaginas. There is no word strong enough for that poor excuse for a journalist.” “Roger, sit down.” Roger shot Freddie a dirty look but sat down anyway, his knee bouncing with restless energy, “Sorry. I’m just pissed off.” “Yes, we gathered that, thanks Rog,” “She took everything I said out of context, you have to believe me.” “We do, Y/N, we do,” John said softly from beside you, rubbing circles on your back. “It started well, I swear. Just the usual questions y’know, what’s it like working with Queen? How does it feel to be singing next to Freddie Mercury? Were you nervous about touring with them? Can you give us any hints about the new album? All the things that usually come up that Freddie coached me on how to answer, and I was doing fine. I had my prepared answers and there was no stumbling over words or anything like that. I thought I’d finally got the hang of it all and then she asked me to elaborate on what it was like working with you. I’d already told her the usual thing – it was fun and y’know blew my mind and all that. But then she asked how it compare to being your groupie.” “You didn’t answer her did you?” “Christ no, Brian! Jesus what do you take me for?” Brian held his hands up in apology. “I told her that it wasn’t relevant, but she kept asking, one question after another thrown at me and no matter what I said she didn’t stop. All sorts of stuff, like which of you was the best shag, and if I’d only wanted to be your groupie because I hoped it would lead to my own album, and if I was still offering my services,” you made air quotes around the words, “accused me of using you for my own gain and asked if you were the first band I’d tried it with or if you were just the only ones gullible enough to let me. I tried to tell her no and that I wasn’t going to answer those questions but she just kept going and then she told me to get used to the attention and left. I guess she didn’t need my answers to write a whole article about it.” “Which of us is the best shag?” Brian repeated the question though you suspected he wasn’t just checking he’d heard you correctly. The others all fell quiet, waiting to see if you’d answer. “Really Bri? That’s what you got from that?” “Right, right, sorry, not the important part. Look, it’s not as bad as you think it is.” “Bri’s right, love,” Roger said, much calmer than he had been before, “there’s nothing of substance in here. Like this quote, as for the fun Ms Y/L/N mentioned was had on tour, one can’t help but wonder just what she meant. Could the stories about nights spent playing boardgames be covers for debauched, drug-fuelled, orgies the likes of which would make a pornstar blush, I mean, there’s nothing there. It’s all conjecture and anyone worth a damn will see right through it.” “But some people will believe it,” “Maybe, yes,” Freddie said, “but it’ll blow over. We’ve all been in the same place you are at one time or another. If anything this officially makes you one of the band.” “Yeah, Y/N, it’s all just spiteful rubbish.” “Thanks guys, but I think I might just call it a day, go back to bed. Stay if you want, I don’t mind. But if you leave lock the door behind you.” You stood and headed to your bedroom.

The four boys stayed quiet until you were out of your room but you heard their hushed voices and hissed comments through your bedroom door as you pulled off your jeans and unclasped your bra from under the baggy jumper you wore. It took about five minutes before there was a soft knock on your bedroom door. “Y/N, can I come in?” You contemplated feigning sleep. “I know you’re not asleep.” You sighed and sat up, hugging your knees to your chest, “Fine, Roger, come in.” “Freddie’s gone to make some calls,” he said, standing just inside your doorway, hands in his pockets. “Calls about what? It’s out there now, there’s no getting it back.” “No but we need to make it clear to other journalists that those kinds of questions won’t be answered in any future interviews, and hopefully we can make sure that parasite never gets to come anywhere near us again.” “Isn’t that mean to parasites?” Roger chuckled, “getting over it already, see,” he sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on your covered knee, “I know this sucks, and I get that you’re ashamed, but I promise it’s not as bad as it feels right now.” “I’m not ashamed.” “What?” “You said I’m ashamed of it but I’m not.” “Oh. I thought-” “I’m a bit embarrassed because obviously I’ve never told my family what it is I got up to when I went to all those concerts and now they’re all going to know, lord knows some of them will believe the worst of it. And I’m pissed off that I didn’t stand up for myself more. I just let her keep cutting me off and talking over me when I should have told her to fuck off or at least called her out for being a prudish arsehole who probably only attacked me because she’s jealous I’ve fucked three quarters of Queen. And I’m annoyed that you’ve all been brought up in the article, and she’s questioning whether your good people just because you sept with me. I mean does she expect you all to be virginal saints or something? It’s just frustrating and yes, upsetting. But I’m definitely not ashamed.” “Huh, okay then.” “What?” “Nothing, just, we assumed you regretted sleeping with us.” “Lord no. It wasn’t planned, like she was insinuating, but seeping with you definitely helped me get my foot in the door with this whole music thing. And even if it hadn’t done that, it was still fun as hell and made me feel good. If I wasn’t fucking you I would have been out having mediocre sex with guys I met in pubs and I don’t care how much of a slut it makes me seem, but I’d rather fuck a whole band every single night and actually get off than have a disappointing drunk lay with a guy who’s never heard of the clitoris. Fuck, I’d still be doing the whole groupie thing now, and be perfectly happy with it, if Freddie hadn’t heard me singing that day. That night at the after party, that was heaps of fun.” “Give me a second would you,” Roger stood and walked to the door, giving you another glance before he turned the corner. You watched the doorway, not quite sure what to make of his behaviour but your questions were answered soon enough when he reappeared with Brian and John following. “So apparently we misread the situation,” Brian said, taking the seat Roger had just vacated. John sat cross legged at the end of your bed while Roger flopped onto the mattress beside you. “I can’t believe you’d think I regretted being your groupie. Have you met me?” “In our defence you seemed very upset, what were we meant to think?” “I had a shitty interview and got called a whore in a very public way, of course I’m upset. Doesn’t mean I regret anything.” “Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, we should have realised. But we have a proposition for you. We actually thought of a way to cheer you up when we first saw the magazine this morning but then when we got here you seemed so sad and we didn’t want to make you more upset or uncomfortable,” “What Brian is trying to say is that we have an idea we think you might like.” “Jesus will you two stop beating around the bush?” “Shut up Rog, I’m getting there.” “Y/N,” Roger said cutting off the others before they could waffle any longer, “Would you like to fuck us again?” You almost choked. “Zero tact. What he means is, we thought we could cheer you up. All three of us, entirely focused on making you forget that magazine.” “Wait, I’m confused,” you massaged the bridge of your nose as you tried to catch up to them, “you saw an article that called me a whore and thought it would cheer me up to, what, be your shared fucktoy again? Yeah it was fun but-” “No, no, no, that’s not what we mean,” John said, “you’d be in control of how it all happens. It wouldn’t be like last time.” “So, you’d be my whores?” “I guess?” “The point is,” Roger chimed in, “we want to make you feel better. If that means making you cups of tea and buying you a box of chocolates that’s fine. But it could also mean you having three cocks and all the orgasms you can handle.” You looked from Roger to John to Brian and then back again, trying to work out if they were joking or not. But they all seemed sincere enough for you to actually think about their proposition. It wasn’t what you were expecting to hear from them, and it hadn’t crossed your mind until they mentioned it. But now that they had, you had to admit it sounded fun. Last time had been fun and that was when you’d been passed around and used mercilessly, so having them all again, but with a bit more say in how it happened, could only be better. Plus, part of you wanted to prove how unashamed of your groupie history you were and what better way than this? “Okay, I’m in.”

“Do we need to set any ground rules?” Brian asked. “You all know my safeword,” “Saxophone,” You laughed at the chorus of eager voices, “Yes, exactly. Other than that I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Not like this is new exactly, is it?” “Well, no, I s’pose not.” “Exactly. And if there’s anything I don’t want I’ll tell you. So you’re,” you pointed at Roger, “going to kiss me now, while you two undress,” “Getting right to it, excellent,” Roger laughed, as he pushed himself closer to you. He didn’t waste any time, leaning in to kiss you right away. It started off a little too soft for your liking but as soon as soon as you made it clear how into it you were, kissing him back harder and pressing yourself closer, Roger reciprocated. His hands wandered down to your chest as you felt Brian and John get up, following your orders, their clothes left where they landed on the floor. Roger’s hands were soon replaced by Brian’s as he knelt behind you, and you found your head being pulled around so he could kiss you too. Roger took the opportunity to undress as Brian and John caught you between them. You couldn’t tell who was removing your clothes, only that once your jumper had been pulled over your head John was kissing you. He leaned back, tugging you along so Brian could pull your underwear off, his hands caressing your bare bum. “How do you want us?” John asked, brushing your hair back behind your ear. “Um,” you looked around at the three very naked bandmates waiting for your word, “One of you is going to eat me out. Don’t care who but I am going to cum.” “Yes Ma’am,” John laughed, lazily saluting you before rolling you onto your back and shuffling down between your thighs. You were taken by surprise when you felt his tongue run between your lips, expecting nips on your thighs and the teasing puff of his breath as he hovered just out of your reach. But he was clearly taking the job of cheering you up seriously. Brian and Roger weren’t any different, settling into the spaces on either side of you, their light touches only enhancing the feeling John had set off. You felt their fingertips on your breasts and in the ends of your hair, tugging just enough to send a shiver down your spine but not enough to make you gasp in pain. “So what would you like from us, love? What dirty little fantasies are going through your head right now?” Roger tapped his finger on the middle of your forehead. You opened your mouth but a small oh as John latched onto your clit replaced the words you’d been intending to say. “Think we’re going to need a little more than that, Y/N. C’mon, tell us what you want. Do you want us to just take turns fucking you, filling you up over and over and over.” “Or are you thinking more along the lines of last time? Taking two at a time because one cock isn’t quite enough for you now?” “Try three,” you managed to get out as you slid a hand into John’s hair to hold him in place, “want you all at once.” “Jesus,” Brian swore, dropping his lips to your neck. “I’ve been a piss-poor groupie considering the stories that reporter’s peddling. Everyone’s going to think I’ve been taking all three of you at once constantly, but we’ve never actually done that, have we? Might as well embrace my slut title and change that,” “Let us work up to it, Love” Roger said softly, recapturing your lips as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You whined, partly from Roger and Brian’s attention and partly because John raised his head, your hips rising slightly at the loss. “Guess I should start stretching you out then,” he said offhandedly as he licked his fingers, the same way you’d seen him do a hundred times before while playing. You couldn’t stop the moan that rose up in your throat, the sound only making John chuckle against you as he lowered his head and resumed his focus on your clit.

It only took a few more minutes to have you swearing through your first orgasm. The two fingers John had inside you enough to send you over the edge as they brushed against every sensitive spot they could reach. Your neck tingled where Brian had marked it and your nipples were stiff peaks, extra sensitive to cool air after he and Roger had delighted in torturing them with teeth and tongue and fingertips. “How was that?” John asked, slowly withdrawing his fingers when he was satisfied you’d finished. “Fuck,” was all you could say, the three boys laughing, John dropping a kiss to the inside of your thigh. “Think you can handle more?” “Actually Bri I think I might be done,” “Oh. Really?” “I’m kidding.” “Thank Christ. I’m so fucking hard there’s no way I could get my pants back on anyway.” You laughed and pushed yourself to sit up, “Poor thing. I suppose you can use my cunt for a bit.” “Classic guitarists always getting first go,” “Shut it drum boy, I was about to offer to blow you but if you’re going to be like that,” “No, no, I didn’t say anything.” “He did Y/N, I heard him, blow me instead,” “Ignore Deaks, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” “Like a couple of – oh!” you were cut off as Brian grabbed you round the middle and wrenched you onto your hands and knees, “children. A little warning next time please,” “Sorry,” Brian leaned forward to kiss your back as his fingers trailed up the inside of your thigh, “but if I didn’t move this along we’d be stuck arguing about who gets to blow who forever.” “N-no we wouldn’t,” you stumbled over your words as Brian’s long, talented fingers pressed into you, “I made up my mind, Rog in my throat.” “What about me?” “Don’t worry Deaks, you’ll get your turn. If you want you can spank me though, or bite me or pull my hair or whatever else you can think of. You know my limits. Also we’ll need lube so if you want to go digging through my bathroom draws and find some you can. Might be a reward in it if you do.” “Spankher, please,” Brian nearly whined, “always makes her cunt so tight.” “Think I’d rather claim that reward thanks” “Alright then I’ll spank her,” “Guys! Can you stop arguing. I have holes enough for all of you, that’s kind of the point of this. And, Brian and Roger, if I don’t get both of your cocks deep, deep inside me within the next thirty seconds I will kick you both out and let John have his way with me on repeat.” A moment of silence accompanied your statement. You saw Roger, eyes wide, look over at John and then to Brian, and could only assume they were returning his dumbfounded look. “Twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven,” Roger blinked as if waking from a daydream and hurried to kneel in front of you, one hand gliding over the length of his cock as the other reached for your hair. Your mouth fell open in a gasp as Brian suddenly filled you, holding your hips tight as he bottomed out, which gave Roger enough opportunity to push himself towards the back of your throat. There was a shift in the mattress as John got up but you were a little too preoccupied to hear the door open and shut or the sound of him rummaging through your bathroom. You only realised he’d returned when a sudden, loud spank hit you and you knew Brian’s hands were still occupied with your hips. For their parts, Roger and Brian were keeping you busy, skewered between them, not sure whether the noises coming from your own throat were moans or gags or wordless begging. Brian breathlessly laughed as John spanked you again, “So fucking tight. Bit harder?” “Y/N?” You made an assenting humming noise and nodded as much as Roger’s cock would allow which John rightly took as permission and so hit you again, harder than the last.

It was an intoxicating feeling, taking two cocks at once, all the while wanting more and knowing you’d have it before long. Brian fucked you hard and precise, as if his goal was to split you open from the inside out. Had it just been him and you alone you would have found yourself creeping further up the bed. It had happened a few times before, leaving you either hanging off the edge of the bed, or with your hands over your head and pressed against a wall in an effort to keep from banging your head. But all he managed to do was push you further onto Roger’s cock, making you gag and choke more often. Roger didn’t seem to mind that though, giving as good as Brian, firmly gripping your hair so that you couldn’t even attempt to move off him. The added impact from John’s hand just made you shiver and moan. He was the one who sensed you were getting close though, reaching under you to rub your clit and give you the extra push you needed to get over the edge. Brian wasn’t too far behind you, groaning as he tried to keep fucking you, his hips faltering as he twitched inside you and spilled his seed. You felt his hands on your backside as he spread your cheeks, leaning down to spit on your arsehole before he pulled out of you. Once Brian was finished with you, you tapped Roger’s thigh and he pulled back. “You okay?” he asked, stroking your cheek with a knuckle. “Brilliant, just thought that since I can move a bit easier, I’d take over. You look like you were close.” “Fucking yes I was close,” You giggled as you readjusted your position to be more comfortable, once again taking Roger’s cock between your lips. This time you pushed yourself lower, taking him deeper, making Roger swear above you. You pulled back again, hollowing your cheeks until you sank down once more. A strangled moan seemed to catch in Roger’s throat and it spurred you on. You reached out to cups his balls, massaging them in your hand as you took him as deep as you could and hummed. The hum turned into something akin to a squeal (though slightly muffled and choked off at the end) as the sticky cool of John’s lube covered finger teased your arsehole, tracing circles around it before slowly sinking into you. The sight seemed to be enough to finish Roger off, one hand on the back of your head to steady himself as he shot his load down your throat, pulling out towards the end so the last of it dribbled down your chin. “Now me?” John asked, pushing a second finger in with the first as Roger let you go. “Stretch me out a little more and then yes,” “Oh, no, I’m not ready for that yet. I want your tits.” “What?” “Your tits, Y/N. Turn around,” His fingers left you and you were free to move, shuffling on your knees to face him. John pressed down on your shoulder pushing you to sit back on your knees and adjusting your angle so he could slide his lubed up shaft between your breasts. He pushed them together with his palms and slid them up and down his dick as he rutted against you, spreading the sticky lube over your chest. With a slight smile at John, you dipped your head a little and kissed the tip of his cock as it moved towards your lips. “Fuck, been waiting so long for this,” he groaned, “gon-na make a mmm-ess all over you.” He gave up on speech as he neared his released, communicating exclusively in grunts and increased speed until he finished, covering your chest and sternum in ropes of cum that dripped down your skin.

You laughed as John fell back. The hardest you could remember laughing in a while. “What’s so funny?” Brian asked, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “Just thought what that reporter would say if she could see me now, naked and dripping in spunk,” you managed to get out between giggles, “her face would be fucking priceless.” The boys laughed along with you, glad you could see the funny side of the situation with the article. “Does that mean you’re feeling better?” “Yes Rog, but I’m still not done with you.” “What did you have in mind?” “Well,” you crawled over to where Roger was sitting, leant back on his hands, and placed your hand on his throat, tilting his face away from you a little so you could lick a long stripe from his jaw to his temple, “I meant it when I said I wanted all of you.” “Never doubted it, love,” he sounded a little breathless. “Just let me know when you’re all ready to go again. Not you Rog, I can see you’re ready.” “I’m good too Y/N,” “Yeah, same,” “In that case,” you shifted your position, lining yourself up with Roger and sinking down on him, squeezing his throat a little harder as you adjusted. “John, you still got that lube?” “Yes, uh, yeah here,” there was the sound of a cap flipping open and you leaned forward encouraging Roger to lay back so you could give John better access. “Hey, Rog, can you spread your legs a little wider,” “S’pose so, just don’t kneel on my bollocks or anything,” “God give me a second, the thought of that just made mine try and jump up inside me,” You giggled as John shuffled closer, using his fingers to spread some more of the lube over you and to keep stretching you out. “What about me, Y/N?” “I haven’t forgotten you Bri. I want every inch of your cock shoved so far down my throat I can feel you for a week. Just let me get used to the others first, yeah? Still feels kinda odd having two of you at once since we’ve not done it much.” Brian nodded, contenting himself with running his fingers through your hair as he waited. John, having pulled his fingers from you and slicked up his dick with more lube, sank into you slowly, his hand on your back to keep you bent forward. It suddenly felt hard for you to pull in a new breath as you tried to adjust to the feeling of both of them, especially when John gave an experimental thrust, fucking you slowly to make sure it felt okay for everyone. Brian talked softly, reminding you to breathe and telling you how well you were doing, until you were better in control of your lungs and ready for more. “Are you sure you want me as well?” “Yes. Lets show that parasite just how far I’ll go, huh?” Roger laughed, “that’s the spirit.”

Brian didn’t need more convincing than that, though it did take a little trial and error to find the best way to accommodate all three of them. Brian tried perching his arse on the headboard but Roger whinged about “seeing nothing but Bri’s ballsack flopping about. And I know you see things when you’re gangbanging but that is too much.” In the end Brian stood next to the bed by Roger’s head, enough to the side that Roger’s view wasn’t impeded but still close enough so that the angle wouldn’t strain your neck. He gathered your hair into a messy ponytail as he pulled your mouth onto his cock, letting you work yourself further down his shaft as slowly as you needed, checking in with you every now and again to make sure you could take more. The other two were mostly still as you adjusted to Brian, though once or twice they’d given a small thrust or shifted slightly and made you whine. Once you had Brian buried as deep in your throat as he could go you paused for a few seconds and then pulled back again, strings of saliva breaking on your lips. “How was that?” “Good,” you gasped, “New. Kinda weird but very fucking good.” That didn’t really explain anything but you weren’t sure how to describe the nearly overwhelming fullness, the sudden heat, the tension in your belly which you couldn’t pinpoint as either anticipation or nerves or just because you were stretched open on three cocks. “And that’s without us doing anything,” “I know,” you grinned, “I’m excited. Why didn’t we try this sooner? But now you guys can cut loose. I’m not sure I’ll be much use in like riding you properly or whatever. Just don’t know my brain can focus on keeping both of you in my holes while I’m thinking about blowing Bri well. So, just fuck me however you can and we’ll see how it goes.” “Don’t worry, we’ll make you feel good,” John said, rubbing your back softly. “Yeah, course we will, love. And if ends up being shit then we can just take turns instead,” You nodded and took a deep breath before leaning forward to take Brian again. You controlled the pace once more, bobbing up and down his shaft, sucking on his tip, as the other two figured out their rhythm. It was a strange sensation to start. It felt clumsy and more than a little awkward, especially when John mentioned how he could feel Roger inside you. But that eased as they adjusted and worked out how best to fuck you. John held your hips as he plunged into you, each thrust harder than the last as his confidence rose and he found out what you liked most. Roger’s hands moved over your skin rather than staying in once place, palming your breasts and teasing your nipples between his fingertips before sliding down your side to grasp your waist and then back up to your breasts. You were rocked on his cock with each of John’s pounding thrusts, which only made you moan around Brian’s. You let instinct take over there, one hand stroking from his base up to meet your lips as you swallowed him deeper. His hips jolted when you whined or moaned and before long you dropped your hand away from his shaft, instead grabbing his arse to keep yourself steady. He pulled you off him again and you could feel the spit on your chin. “Forgot what a fucking incredible cocksucker you are.” Brian groaned, “But can I take over? Fuck your throat?” “Yeah, okay,” You had time for another breath and then you were pushed down again, right to the base. “There we go,” he groaned, pulling on your hair, “Gonna make you feel so fucking good.” Your hum was choked off and ended in a gag as Brian ground his hips into your face. That seemed to be the tipping point though. The moment all three of them forgot about awkward views or who was positioned where and became entirely consumed with fucking you deep and hard. You were glad to let them lead, grabbing you, pinching and pulling and squeezing every inch of you they could reach. And all the while spearing you on their dicks, keeping you in a cycle of mounting pleasure as they found all your most responsive spots inside and out. You felt your orgasm building again, the heat rising, getting more urgent as you got closer and closer. The sounds you made were muffled by Brian but that didn’t stop you making them, moaning with every pounding thrust. As you neared the edge Brian pulled you off his cock so they could all hear you properly, their encouragement mixing in your lust addled brain and creating a wall of noise that pushed you over the edge with a loud cry. And yet they didn’t stop. Brian waited until your orgasm was reduced to aftershocks that made you wince and whine and then cut off your air as he entered your throat again, resuming the long, deep strokes that made you gag until he came, holding you down as he emptied himself completely.

As soon as the other two didn’t have to worry about giving Brian access to your mouth they adjusted your position, John pushing on your back until you were bent over. Roger attached his lips to your throat as they simultaneously fucked into you, the change of angle pushing Roger’s cock against you in a way that had you seeing spots. You cried out again as Brian lay a slap on your arse. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” John grunted as he came too, unable to hold out any longer though he didn’t withdraw from you either. His hips slowed a bit and he whined softly but he kept fucking you. “Rog,” you panted, trying to get him to finish too. “You’ve got another one in you, c’mon love,” You whined but nodded, the familiar sensation already tightening in the pit of your stomach. Again the three of them encouraged you, John wrapping his hand around your waist to find your clit, Brian reaching under you to squeeze your breast as his other hand came down on your arse again. They gave you no option but to cum, shivering between them. Finally Roger let go too, moaning into your ear as he filled you up.

It took a moment to disentangle everyone, John being careful not to go too fast and hurt you, but finally you were able to collapse together, sweaty and panting, spread out over the room. “So, cheered up now?” Brian asked from where he’d lain down on the carpet You peered over the edge of the bed at him, “Think so. Thanks for that, it was fun.” “Any time, love,” Roger chuckled from the end of the bed, patting your knee, “and I mean that.” “I’m not you groupie anymore,” “Never said you were,” “Then what?” “What Rog means,” John cut in from where he’d spread out on you window seat, “is that if you ever need cheering up or to let out some frustrations, we’re here. We’re happy to help,” “Does your help always involve a gangbang?” “Not always,” Brian laughed. “Well, a lot of the time,” Roger added with a wink. “I’ll keep it in mind,” you chuckled, “I’ll have to face my family at some point and there’s a high chance I’ll leave upset and frustrated so, we’ll see. Wonder how Freddie’s getting on with those calls.” “I’ll go give him a ring and find out,” Roger said, half groaning as he stood and stretched. He didn’t bother grabbing any of his discarded clothes before he left. “I’ll take Rog his pants,” John sighed as he got up and replaced his own underwear, exiting the room with an eyeroll, Roger’s underwear pinched between his thumb and pointer. “And I’ll...stay here?” Brian said, “unless you need anything?” “Nah, I’m going to jump in the shower. Let the other two know that’s where I am, would you?” “If you’re doing that, can I have the bed?” “Sure Bri,” you laughed, “as long as you promise to change the sheets when you wake up.”

#my writing #my fics #queen fanfic #queen smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #brian may x reader #brian may smut #john deacon x reader #john deacon smut

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sockit-2-me · 3 years

Text

PART 2

I wanted to ask him to let me go, I’ll forget his face, he’ll forget mine and we love on. But I felt paralysed. I felt so small, this man is probably only a few inches taller than me but right now he is a mountain.

The corner of his mouth smiled as he said, “Talk to me,” he placed his fingertips on my back, so lightly I almost didn’t feel it. His touch was too gentle to be true. I know that this is the calm before the storm.

I’m questioning all my morals right now because I’m thinking about how attractive he is. I’m thinking about whether my body looks good for him. These intrusive thoughts disturb me. I could be dead in minutes and I’m thinking about sex.

His fingers glide along my back, under my tshirt, he walks slowly around the table, examining me like a doctor. Trailing further I feel him attempt to jam his hand down my jeans.

“No.” I say quietly, there was no real effort or power behind me, I’ve almost surrendered already.

“Ah she speaks,” he’s standing behind me but I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

I take a deep breath, and try to control the trembles in my voice, “please, let me go, I won’t tell the police. I won’t remember anything, I promise.”

“My dear, I want you to remember everything. You missed out on all the fun last night, it wouldn’t be fair, would it.”

“Last night?”

“Yes baby, I thought you had forgotten, you’re much less feisty today.”

“What did you do to me,” this time I burst into tears, I can’t believe a few seconds ago I was romanticising this. Im helpless. Im hopeless. Im lost. Im a damsel in distress.

His smile feels more sinister now, I can feel him feed on my fear, he loves that im dying.

“I’ll tell you all about it tonight. There’s just some things I’ve got to attend to…” he trailed off like he was distracted.

“Please-“

“Listen to me. Carefully.” This is the most serious he’s gotten yet, “If you’re going to beg me or try to run away or fight me - I will fuck you until you’re paralysed and I will keep you here for the rest of your fucking life - do you understand?” He pauses and I make a muffled yes sound, he continues. “Now that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do that anyway,” he slaps my arse gently, in an endearing fashion, “you like that don’t you?”

The last part startled me. I expected the threats. I am very afraid but I think I’m beginning to dissociate. I’m calmer than I was when he wasn’t here.

“Don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, don’t I what?” I couldn’t focus as my mind was so loud and chaotic.

“Oh my fucking god. Look at me for fuck sake… there. Are you listening to me?”

The eye contact we hold feels too intimate, like he’s my boyfriend. I don’t want to look away. Maybe he senses my humanity and fear and sweat and he lets me go. Maybe he can read my mind and knows exactly how I feel. He seems like he can read my mind. He feels larger than life.

“Alright fuck it, I’ll tell you about last night, it’s a shame you’ll never get to see the videos, they are… something else…. Anyway. Me and my guys found you walking through the high street, you were rather drunk. Do you remember that part?”

“I don’t…”

He chuckles, “Naw, your little body really takes the drugs well then hm,” he scans me up and down again before he starts to remove my clothes.

“Please don’t-“

“What did I tell you about being disobedient? I want the best for you, just do what I say. Don’t make me do this to you.”

As he speaks his motions get more anger fuelled, but he calms down. This is a man on the edge and I can not test his limits. I know he’s going to hurt me but I think I can make it out of this okay.

“It was me, and my two mates from the bar. You asked us for a lighter and you were very flirty. Not just with me. With all of us. You told us how your feet hurt, and how you really wanted to smoke a joint, how drinking made you forget your problems, how you were sad that your ex never called…” All this information seems legit. I can’t believe it. I approached him.

“So we invited you to smoke with us. You trusted us blindly, like a child being offered candy. It was cute to see you so happy, you love attention, don’t you?”

I blush.

“Don’t you? Tell me you love it.”

I don’t know what to say.

I let out a little squeal as he digs his nails into my skin, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I love it.”

“You love what?”

I pause.

“I-“

Fuck! He scratches all along the backs of my legs, it’s only then that I realise he pulled my jeans all the way to my bolted down ankles.

“I love the attention!”

“Aw baby girl loves the attention. What a spoilt little girl…” when he talks like this I find myself swooning, again I’m enjoying something that should be killing me inside.

“We brought you here pretty quickly. I drove. You were tied up and shoved in the footwell, you’re so small it’s fun to force you into little places or positions… But of course this was all consensual. As is this,” he noticed my confusion and continued, “ahh yes we prepared for this moment,” he takes out his phone and shows me the screen.

He plays a video.

It’s me.

It’s like watching a ghost on camera.

I’m so drunk, I’m laughing, having fun, I’m sitting on one of the other guys’ knees I think. My top has been lifted up so it’s above my tits, my hair is a complete state and so is my makeup.

The audio from the video plays loud and clear, “yes omg why are you guys being so weird about this! Just do it! This is me giving you permission! You can have me!” I’m smiling from ear to ear in the video. Some famous last words. Somehow I feel less safe than I did before. Is this video a way of saying I consent to everything from now on? All of a sudden this feels very long term.

“You see? It’s such a shame you can’t remember, you had so much fun. You did things you’ve never done before. And we were so proud of you. I am so proud of you.”

It feels genuine. He’s proud of me. It feels good.

“Wh-what did we do?”

“Oh my dear, I can’t tell if you’re enjoying this not,” he raises a brow and I look away, am I afraid or just ashamed?

“I’ll tell you, it’s okay. You deserve to know when you get spitroasted for the first time. You know what that means little one?”

I looked at him dead in the eye as I nodded - I never thought I’d be that girl.

“Good girl. You did a very good job, considering. I fucking loved force feeding you my dick. Watching your pussy get destroyed, your eyes rolling back, your body getting weak, as your face got violated with my cock… it was something else. Oh yeah, does your little pussy hurt?”

I am shocked. I don’t know what to say.

“I don’t know”.

He chuckles, “let’s find out then, shall we?” He asked as if I had a choice.

He pulls my panties down to my ankles, the anticipation is an extraordinary feeling. The fear is incredible.

“Oh no baby, you’re all wet. Was daddy’s story getting you all excited? Do you wanna hear about how I used your fragile little pussy? You wanna hear about how I choked you till you passed out and proceeded to fuck your unconscious body?”

My legs began fo twitch, I couldn’t help it. I felt like a sex slave. I felt like all my dirty little secrets and guilty cravings are now defining me. How can I be in such a place and feel this way. I am wrong.

“Did y-“

“Yes. And we didn’t cum in you, we’re saving that for tonight, we don’t want you to be drunk, it just wouldn’t be right.”

My breathing got heavier then.

“Baby, don’t worry, you want my cum inside you. You want it. You were catting for it last night. He tapped my pussy, you want it so bad,” he started to play with my push and I realised he might be right, “my god you’re so fucking wet. Fuck.”

I can tell in his voice how bad he wants me now. And I know that I want him too.

So I make a light moan sound, not necessarily a good or bad moan. I need to play it right here.

“Baby girl you’re too enticing,” I hear him starting to unzip his clothes, and just like that the panic kicks in.

I start shaking myself as hard as I can, lashing every way possible to get out. He’s going to get me. What if he has an sti, what if he gets me pregnant, what if he doesn’t let me out? And there’s 2 more of him somewhere.

“Shh…”

He mounts me.

He’s bearably heavy, but I keep squirming, I’m tensing my legs together and screaming.

He takes his shirt off and sticks half the sleeve in my mouth, but I just spit it out. His eyes dart to mine and I learn my lesson, I stay quiet, the way he looked at me chilled me to the bone. Submission feels like the only option, I don’t know what he might do.

“Thank you baby, now be a good girl and relax for me. I know you want it, I can feel you dripping for me.”

He rubs his dick over my pussy, I am wet, I can’t deny it. He keeps rubbing, almost like he’s teasing himself. He wants me so bad I can hear it in his voice, feel it in his motions.

He puts it in.

He keeps pushing and pushing, now it’s all the way in. It hurts. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dick this big before, I can’t see it but it feels uncomfortably big. I hold my breath and clench my fists. This isn’t gonna be quick.

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askintothevoids · 3 years

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100- Logan and his kiddos

Your wish is my command.

No tws im aware of

“Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed.”

The four children vigorously nodded, somewhat excited of what their father could come up with.

“That’s final too, I expect strong integrity from all of you,” Patton lovingly declared, sparing a knowing glance toward Logan. He then went to bed, waiting on his husband.

“Shh, shh, morals are for the government,” Logan joked, “I’m kidding. You really should listen to your father.”

“That’s no fun though, he tells me ‘no more spiders in the house’ but what if I want more spiders in the house?” Harper mocked.

“Be nice, I’m serious. And no more spiders, let's just stick to crickets and centipedes okay?’

Harper disingenuously nodded.

“What about plants and rocks?” Jane chimed in, “Or uhh mysterious forest instruments?”

Jane gently elbowed Buddy, to regain his attention.

“Anyway, story time?” Daniel said, attempting to redirect the conversation.

“Right, story time,” Logan thought for a second, “Okay so, my dearest children, there was a creek behind a fence. The fence belonged to a quiet man and his neighbor.”

“How descriptive.” Harper lovingly jeered.

“I’m not done yet, bug.”

“The man’s neighbor was…a handsome young man named Frank. Frank was intelligent, sensitive, adventurous and extroverted. “

“What’s the quiet man’s name?” Buddy asked, his voice somewhat calmer than his siblings.

“Well..hmm, what do you think?”

“Um.. I don't know. Jack?”

“I like that. So, Jack and Frank shared a fence. Behind the fence was a creek, this creek wasn’t like other creeks. It had baseballs, chairs, washing machines, and all types of things, showing up left and right.” Logan continued, “Which usually isn’t too strange for where they lived. But, everyday there was a new item in place of the last. One time, there was this huge tin of fake flowers.”

“Frank moved the large tin over the fence, and dropped it into Jack’s yard. The tin’s flimsy lid fell off as it hit the ground, leaking most of its contents. Frank fled as soon as he realized what had happened, and soon after Jack would open the back door after hearing the loud thump.”

“Tis a spooky story?” Jane queried.

“Time will tell, my daughter.”

“Is this one of those stories, where it's about you and papá but you just change the names?”

“It isn’t, but I won’t lie that the creek I’m thinking about is the creek I lived in front of as a child.”

“I told you, dad will not tell tales of fantastical fictions.” Daniel promptly said in his most ‘logany’ voice (which really just meant he tried to lower his voice and straighten his posture).

“Oh shush,” Jane said while waving him off.

“Shall I continue?”

“Yes.” The four of them tiredly answered.

“Jack would walk out to the pile of fake flowers and look around for a possible culprit. Finding no one, he took a flower. He pinned it behind his ear, saddened by the lack of the gifter’s presence. Now, my little nerdlets, what do people think when you give them flowers?”

“Ohh flowers! Right?” Harper shrugged, not seeming to care.

“It’s a sad story, isn't it?” Daniel spoke, “So like someone died?”

“Uhh I’m gonna with Harper, and say ‘Oohh flowers!’ Are we right?” Jane voted, throwing her thoughts in.

“Romance? Right?” Buddy asked, knowing it was the correct answer but too ashamed to admit to it.

“Yes, excellent Buddy. Jack thought he had a possible suitor. Though finding his suitor would prove difficult, because the next day, the flowers were missing. That day, Frank found an abandoned box. He filled it with pretty rocks, river shells, colorful leaves, even a few walking sticks. He would climb over the fence, but the box fell and spilled it’s contents onto Jack’s backyard.” Logan took a breath, ”Jack would come out of his house after hearing the loud crash. Too late to catch Frank in the act, but he did hear Frank's door shut behind him.”

Buddy tilted his head in though, “Does Frank even like Jack like that?”

“We don’t know yet.” Logan nonchalantly hummed.

“The next day, Jack went to the creek and found a large collection of holiday cards. He glued them together to form a big heart, he threw it over the side of Frank’s fence.” Logan paused, “ The problem? Frank knew nothing of the quiet man next door. Though he would find Jack, fidgeting nervously at their shared fence after getting back home from the creek.

“Jack stretched out his hand to Frank, his hands shaking. They would get to talking soon after. They discussed the weather, and the flowers and trinkets. Jack asked about the creek, and why it did things like this? Frank would promptly reply, ‘it does what it thinks is best, today it said cards, who knows what it says tomorrow?’”

“MAgic creek???” Jane accused, tiredly pointing her hand at her father.

“Who’s to say? The next day, Jack and Frank went together, that day there was nothing. It didn’t seem like they needed anything else.”

“Is that it?” Harper whined, “Ughhh am I supposed to get some emotional message instead of a cool ending where Jack and Frank fight like an evil toad emperor?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.”

“I think it's nice.” Buddy mumbled.

“Thank you, Buddy.”

“Huh, so like were they gay or just in a bromance?” Jane pondered.

“You decide.”

“Goddammit dad, you and your damn symbolism.” Daniel spat, not really meaning the harsh tone.

There was a quiet ‘Language!’ from upstairs, showing that Patton most definitely heard his son’s crude language.

“Alright it’s bedtime, before your father grounds all of us somehow, okay?”

There was a wave of silent nodding, and a soft chorus of ‘good night’s among the children. Logan made sure to swing in a couple of hugs and forehead kisses to those who wanted one before going to bed.

“Goodnight. I love you.”

#intothevoids #alternate universe #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton #patton montgomery stone #logan montgomery stone #jane phoebe montgomery stone #harper montgomery stone #buddy montgomery stone #daniel montgomery stone #ts logicality #ned’s bedtime stories

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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years

Text

Pain (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: finally, a kakashi one shot. I've been trying so hard to write one but his character is so difficult for me, so deep and mysterious and im just an idiot. Tell me if this story is shit, lol. Anyway, Soulmate AU, kinda fluffy, kinda sad idk what to say about it.

word count: 5000~

Part One/Part Two

“Trust me,” the boy whispered to me. “It’s going to be okay.”

His arms wound around me, as I dozed in and out of consciousness. Lightning struck every couple minutes, illuminating the area just enough up so I could see the carnage around us. Dead bodies, left and right, blood splattered on trees and shinobi crying over the bodies of their teammates and loved ones.

This war would show no mercy, it had taken someone from every clan, every household. Mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, lovers, friends. No one was safe from the storm reigning over the nations.

The rain had left me drenched, and I kept coughing on the water running up my nose and into my mouth. I felt like i was drowning in my own body, lungs filled with water, heart filled with pain.

I could feel the burden on this boy’s shoulders as he panicked over my limp, bloodied form. I didn’t know why he was saving me, or how he even noticed my body among the dozens of others left among those battling for their lives.

I didn’t have the strength to ask him, words absent from my mind and my tongue.

“I need to keep fighting. Where are the medics, for fucks sake,” my rescuer grumbled under his breath. Fire shot above our heads, and a girl screamed in pain behind us. I felt like I was going to pass out from not only pain but sheer fear. We were sitting there asking to be killed.

Quickly, he lifted me in his arms and ran deeper into the forest, farther away from the man with the flames.

I tried to speak, but blood caught in my throat and had me spitting it down my neck and onto my shirt. I was at the complete disposal of this stranger.

“Kakashi!”

My teammate. His voice was unmistakable. “Is that Y/N? What- Jesus, that looks bad,” my friend exclaimed as he approached my body. Suddenly my body was being handed off, and I gasped for air, more drops of blood coming up to taste on my tongue.

“Gai, she needs to get to a medic; she’s your teammate right?”

“Right away, Kakashi!” He turned on his heel and prepared to push off into a jump through the trees when he paused. “You don’t even know Y/N, what made you save her?”

“I don’t know. I just knew I couldn’t let her die,” the silver haired boy, whom I know knew as the famous Kakashi, trained by the fourth Hokage himself, paused, his eyes stuck on my face for a long minute. “She deserves to live, that’s all I know.” With those being the last words out of his mouth, the boy rushed into the trees, ready to fight another battle for our village. I knew who Kakashi was from the name, but I had never formally met him. He just saved me, and I didn't know whether to feel honored that he found me worth saving or ashamed that I was so weak I couldn't defend myself.

Gai carried me to the edge of the forest where a medic tent was set up. He rocked me softly in his arms as I choked on the mere air I was breathing in, and gasped when my chest felt too heavy to support itself. He was a friend, the best friend I’ve ever had, even if he was painfully unbearable at times.

People even asked me, time and time again, is Might Gai your soulmate? No one can stand that kid, she must be his soulmate, poor girl. That’s what they would say. But no. We were friends. And Kakashi, was Gai’s sort-of-friend, but mostly he acted as an admirer.

He had mentioned Kakashi time and time again in secret. He would call him a hero, someone so talented and majestic, you would think he was talking about a seasoned shinobi like the Hokage. He felt challenged by his skill, but grateful for his help when he was being bullied.

I guess, you could say Kakashi Hatake was my hero now too. Such a quiet guy, yet more noble than any one of us.

___________________________________

I don't normally show my soul mark, hidden away under my layers, resting on my shoulder blade. I show it to people when they ask, because it really doesn't matter if people see it or not. I know they aren't my soulmate.

I wasn’t surw who I was destined to be with. Over the years of being a shinobi, I encountered thousands of people, all of whom could have been the one, or not. I may have met them before and not known about it, but I highly doubt it.

Kurenai told me when you meet your soulmate for the first time, it's such a distinct feeling that you can't miss it. You can't dismiss it as just a chill running through your body. As far as I can remember, I've never felt something like that: so significant that it would haunt me even today. I try not to dwell on the fact that I may never meet my soulmate, or that I've passed them by in another village or on a mission and will never see them again.

I honestly try not to think about my soulmate at all. It's so hopeless and only brings people anxiety and paranoia. The people who go around asking to see every single person's mark are fools in my opinion.

Yes, I do think it would be nice to meet my soulmate and love them forever unconditionally, constantly having someone to hold and talk to. Yet...I can get so much shit done when I don't have to worry about some fate-forseen destiny.

I laid in my bed, pillow over my face to drown out the sunlight and sounds of the birds chirping. I didn't have a mission today, and my team of Genin was out on a mission themselves for the next week. I had time to do absolutely nothing but sleep and relax. That is, if my fellow villagers would leave me alone for once.

But not today. I can't have one day off, can I?

"Rise and Shine, woman of the night! Half a day of youth has been wasted, my friend!" A loud bellowing voice called from outside my room. "If you don't wake up and open the door in 10 seconds, I will force the door down." Seriously…fuck Gai.

I rolled out of bed, threw on my robe lying on the floor and walked to the door. If it were anyone else, I could probably get away with staying in bed, but Gai doesn't lie when he makes threats, and I wasn't about to replace my door again.

The sun was so bright when I opened the door and peered out at my friend. eyes narrowed to avoid the sunlight. "Gai...why are you like this?" I put bluntly, stiff frown on my lips.

He frowned, shaking his head furiously. "Y/N, you are yet a single beautiful flower from the leaf village. You must not waste a single day of your youth, your prime time for action, adventure, and training," the man proclaimed, throwing his fist in the air dramatically.

"Listen, I'm tired as all hell, but if you want me out of the house we can go get breakfast."

"Breakfast? It's past noon."

"Fine. Lunch, then." He nodded, begrudgingly. He was, as expected, disappointed that I didn't even know what time it was, and that I had skipped the most important meal of the day. I shut the door and changed into appropriate clothes, combed through my hair for a minute with my hair, and shoved some cash in my pocket for food.

We walked five blocks to sit down for ramen, and were greeted kindly by the owner and his daughter.

"When is your next mission assigned?"

"Wednesday. Two days of peace."

"What about your team? Training?"

"On a c-rank. No kids, no responsibilities. What more could I ask for? I got 14 hours of sleep last night too."

His eyes widened, but what was he expecting? I wasn't exactly proactive when I didn't have to be, unlike his upbeat and always ready to fight lifestyle. Maybe he was right to always be prepared, since we can never know when someone will attack the village. We weren't prepared for when Orochimaru first attacked and our Hokage died, as well as hundreds of our shinobi.

"Typical Y/N behavior. As long as you are safe from harm, I suppose it doesn't matter. Still, after this I'm running 100 laps around the village with Lee. You can join if you want."

"I'll pass this time. My calves are killing after my last mission." I sighed but felt a little calmer as my ramen was placed in front of me. I took one whiff of it and felt immensely better than before. I slouched in my seat a bit as I relaxed and practically inhaled some noodles.

After I finished my ramen, I bid my farewell to Gai and headed back to my apartment. I guess today would be a good day to clean the mess that had been building up there for a few weeks. I went on missions so often, I just forgot to pick up in between them.

When I was walking up the stairs to my place, I noticed a particular silver haired shinobi leaning against my door, holding a small box in his hands.

“Kakashi!” I exclaimed, walking just a bit faster to get to him. He came to visit me sometimes, but it was quite rare. We usually met up in town or for a mission. “Back from your mission already?”

“Yep. Turned out to be a lot easier than we anticipated,” he replied, shifting on his feet, a movement noting nervousness. I stopped at my door, peering up at him brightly. It was always a pleasant surprise seeing him. After all, he was one of my favorite people.

I leaned on the opposite side of my door frame, my eyes shifting to the little box in his hand. “What’s that?”

“Oh, yeah. Uh, just something I found while on the mission. It’s really no big deal.”

“You were in the Land of Snow. Barely anyone goes there; of course your little trinket is a big deal!” I laughed. He also laughed, but it was painfully awkward and tense. He still seemed pretty on edge, which I just brushed off as the aftermath of a mission. “Who’s it for?”

“Yeah, about that…” he trailed off, eyes turning down to the box. “It’s actually for you.”

My whole face lit up in flames at the thought of Kakashi getting a special present for me. I watched with the internal excitement of a kid on Christmas morning, my hands shaking just a bit by my sides. My friend lifted the box, and inside was the most magnificent crystal on a metallic chain. It was white with shimmering bits of blue and silver swirling around inside.

Carefully, I reached out and touched it with the pads of my fingertips. “Kakashi, I don’t know what to say...It’s so beautiful.” My eyes lifted to look at his single eye. It seemed I had caught him staring, and he blinked quickly to cover it up. My cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink.

“The lady who sold it to me said that it holds a protective spirit inside. That’s probably just a cheap sales pitch, but I…” he mumbled, embarrassment creeping up his neck and ears, “Well, I thought you would like it.”

“Are you kidding? I love it. Kakashi, this is the nicest thing someone has ever bought for me. Must have cost you a fortune!” I protested as I further inspected the crystal. It was purely amazing. Truthfully, I didn’t think Kakashi had much taste either.

He shrugged. “Price doesn’t matter. What does matter is if you will wear it.”

“Of course.” Excitedly, I turned around and moved my hair out of the way of my neck. “Put it on for me, please.” I listened to him pick the chain and the clap of the box shutting and slipping into his pocket. His fingers slid against my neck, sending tiny shocks down my spine, and the cool crystal soon sat against my chest. His slim hands moved away from my skin, and I admittedly missed the feeling of his warmth on me.

As I turned, he hummed with approval. “Looks perfect on you, as I suspected.”

“O-Oh. Well, thank you for getting it for me. Hopefully it actually works like the lady said.”

“Either way, you’ll always be safe.” He brushed off my comment coolly. “Trust me.”

I always did.

_________________________________

It was late into the night, but nerves kept me up once again. All this drama with Orochimaru, Sasuke, the Akatsuki. It was overwhelming. Tsunade was assigning me missions almost every day, my joints ached from running and fighting, and my chakra felt as if it was used up for the last time; I was so tired.

The streets were quiet except for a few restaurants still open to late night diners. My footsteps echoed on the ground as I walked along, dirt kicking up around my feet with every lazy step.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him, perched on the top of a water tower. His hair still flew up despite the wind persistently pushing it down. Kakashi Hatake, my friend and comrade. As always he looked almost majestic, especially in this moonlight. For some reason, I felt the urge to jump up there and be with him, a push towards the shinobi.

Silently, I bounced between buildings to get to where he was, talking up to where he sat. His nin-kin turned to me and nodded in greeting.

“Sup, Y/N,” Pakkun said in his strangely deep voice for such a tiny dog. Sitting down beside the man, my eyes trailed over to where he was looking out all this time. Pain shot through my body at the sight of the memorial stone, glimmering in the darkness.

I think every shinobi had their fair share of memories associated with the stone, whether it be family or friends. I sighed, my gaze shifting to the moon above us.

Some things were just too painful to dwell on.

“Y/N.”

“Hey, Kakashi,” I began, rubbing over my knuckles with my thumb. “I was just on a walk, and it looked like you could use some company.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Pakkun rolled his eyes, but said nothing. After all, he knew his master could use all the human compassion he could find. “Been a tough night.”

I leaned forward a bit, swinging my legs off the edge of the water tower. It made me dizzy being this high up and looking down, but I enjoyed the rush it sent through my blood. My head tilted toward him, and I sighed. “Agreed. Too much to think about, huh?”

“Yep.”

“What’s on your mind then?”

“Currently?” His laugh was bitter as he said that word, shaking his head. His frustration rolled off his body in waves. “My student is a rogue ninja and my other students are going to get killed trying to find him.”

I nodded solemnly. My own squad was actually quite boring. They had talent, but not the same attachments or motivation as Kakashi’s students. His children fought with their all every single battle, always striving to be better than they were the day before. Hell, Sasuke went with a criminal to achieve his goals. I felt sorry for the guy. His kids weren’t normal.

“Naruto won’t give up, huh. Can’t see that happening, I gotta admit.”

“I was the one who taught them the importance of teamwork and bonds between them, but god dammit if I’m not worried about them,” he cursed. “I know they have the capability to defend themselves. Naruto and Sasuke are coming to the point where they could even surpass me, yet I feel obligated to protect him.”

Humming in agreement, I replied, “As you should. What kind of leader would you be if you just left them to be reckless?”

“I just...The thought of losing anyone else is…” His words trailed off, eyes trained on the memorial stone again.

Tears pricked my eyes. My parents died in the war. I had been injured early on so I wasn’t there to see them die. I only heard about their deaths when the battle ended and their mutilated bodies were found among thousands of others. I didn’t know pain like this man, but I could understand death just like anyone else. Even the happiest people, like Gai, have struggled with loss more times than he would like to count.

Tentatively, my arm went to rest over his shoulders. He didn’t move away from my touch, leaning into my side just slightly. I almost didn’t notice the weight. This man needed touch and affection now more than ever. He was battling a war inside himself as another brewed around him every day.

“I know, Kakashi.”

He kept silent. Pakkun sat in his lap calmly, his eyes shutting as he sunk deeper into thought.

“Sometimes, I worry I’ll forget the faces of my parents who died during that battle. I-I can’t remember what color eyes my mom had, and sometimes I forget my dad had freckles or that one of his ears was just a little longer than the other. I know one day I won’t remember at all, and all my pictures burned in the wreckage…” I confided in the masked ninja, and he let out a long breath. “That’s the worst part for me.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. I always remind myself that while I forget their faces, I will never forget how they made me feel. How happy I was when my father applauded me at graduation, and how my mother made me the best meals I’ve ever had. In that way, they are always with me.”

His situation ran deeper, I knew that. He killed his friend Rin, and he was forced to watch as his other teammate died being crushed by a boulder. He harboured the boy’s eye every day, acting as a constant reminder that he could only take when he should have saved him. Survivor’s guilt is written on his heart.

As I squeezed his shoulder just a bit tighter to my body, I added, “You owe it to your friends and family to keep living life to the fullest. Just like my parents, your loved ones live through you now.”

He sat calmly for a second, pondering on what I said. I stared out at Konoha, a small smile on my face. The death would always haunt me, but there were always positives, always something to drag a person out of a dark time. With effort, his guilt would lessen. I doubt it would happen that way, Kakashi being too stubborn to forgive himself, but the least we could do is try.

“You’re a good friend, y’know.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Kakashi. Always.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

______________________________________

The mission was turning out to be a big failure. Y/N had wasted away at her reserve of chakra, and Kakashi wasn’t fairing too much better. They would have been sent with more shinobi back up but Tsunade was running short on available ninja, not even a genin to help them. There was so much going on, and this fight was more chaotic than most.

A few hours before, Y/N and Kakashi noticed that enemy shinobi started following them, but from such a distance that it would be better to keep going for as long as they could to regain strength before engaging in combat. Only, they didn’t realize that there were enemies waiting for them as well. It seemed they walked right into a clever trap.

They weren’t prepared. Even the famous Kakashi was worn out from the strain of the mission earlier that day. Constantly, it seemed, they were being attacked.

Regardless, they tried to put up the best fight they could.

But it was futile.

After just 20 minutes of fighting, Y/N was at wits end. She had used up a big portion of her chakra an hour earlier to heal a villager. Her legs ached from running for hours, and her head spun with a migraine from head damage. Before anyone could react, an already weakened kunoichi fell to the ground, half a dozen kunai sticking from her back from a sneak attack in the trees. Her shirt soaked up the blood oozing from her broken skin, and she barely had enough energy to cry out before her face hit the dirt hard. Just as Kakashi turned away from the enemy to see what had happened, one of the kunai, which was tagged, detonated.

Dust flew up in clouds around her as the flames went down. Her clothes were practically seared to the seams, and the awful smell of burnt flesh wafted into the forest around them.

“Y/N!” Kakashi yelled at the sight of her body. “Shit, shit, shit.”

He pressed his hand to the ground and screamed for his summons to come and help him. Anyone that could protect Y/N while he finished this fight alone. His ninken appeared, and immediately they knew what to do. A few of them went to attack the person who was targeting Y/N, leaving the criminal merciless to their vicious nature, meanwhile the rest, including Pakkun ran over to her body, sizzling on the ground with smoke rising from the fabric of her shirt.

With some assistance now in place, Kakashi used the last bit of his chakra to take down the man in front of him, as well as the two to his right and left. Three shinobi down, as well as the one his ninken took down a few seconds ago.

As he took a few breaths, trying to compose himself enough to think clearly, he caught sight of Y/N’s unmoving body, despite the efforts the dogs took to wake her up, to get her to simply twitch to show she was still alive.

Nothing.

His heart began to race with fear. This scene, it was all too familiar. His friends who had died before him, their broken and ruined bodies lying before him to only stare at. He felt helpless. Like years ago, she was near death and he desperately needed to keep her alive. The need inside of him was so strong he couldn’t think of anything else.

Kakashi fell to his knees next to her, quickly moving to yank the kunai from her back and toss them to the side. blood seeped into her blackened clothes and onto the grass below her.

His hands hovered over her form anxiously, not knowing what to do next. He wasn’t a healer. She was the one with the medical ninjutsu up her sleeve. Pakkun noticed his frantic eyes, the way he held his breath as if time had stopped.

“Not my Y/N. Not to her, please, Kami, please,” he begged.

“She’s breathing, Kakashi,” the dog assured, placing his paw onto his master’s arm. “The medcine, Kakashi, she needs the Hokage’s medicine.”

His brain took a moment to think, and soon after he rummaged through the remnants of Y/N’s side bag, searching for the salve Tsunade had given them as they left. “Fuck, why did this have to happen?” Harsh words cursed out under his breath as he cut through the fabric with a kunai to get a full look at the wounds on her back. Soot covered her skin, so he wiped them off the best he could.

One dark spot remained. Under her shoulder blade.

Maybe he should have moved faster, forgot about the black mark on her back, but he couldn’t help but rub away the rest of the dust and dirt to take a closer look. He’d never seen her soul mark. She’d never seen his. They were in places unseen by the casual eye.

And after 20 years of not knowing, they matched. His soulmate. She was right in front of him this entire time. He always felt different toward the woman, in the kind of way they only talk about in romance novels. He never anticipated even meeting his soulmate, but knowing her for 20 years, loving her for this long...it felt surreal.

He pushed down his mask, touching the mark on his chin faintly. Pakkun eyed his master’s mark for a moment before turning to the girl’s. “Kakashi…”

“Shit, forget about that. Let’s just make sure she lives.”

He rubbed the salve onto her wounds, and her body started to shake. The wounds slowly closed, only leaving streaks of blood and dust on her skin. As he turned her body over, he noticed blood dripping from her forehead and wiped it away, pressing a piece of her shirt to the wound to keep pressure steady.

“She won’t wake up for a while. It’s best to take her back to the village, Kakashi.”

He wordlessly nodded, lifting her into his arms and standing up, hugging her weak form to his chest. And so he started his walk back to the hidden leaf.

His whole body felt heavy, worry building up in his heart. They were meant to be together, souls intertwined by fate. He finally found the woman who would love him endlessly. He would be happy once again.

If only it was that easy…

____________________________________________

After being injured on the last mission, I was allowed to take a few weeks off to recover. Apparently, my wounds could have been fatal if not for the salve Tsunade gave us as it contained an antidote to their poisonous weapons. Kakashi did a good job, the nurses told me when I woke up in the crowded hospital room. They told me he saved my life.

“He was so worried about you, Y/N. He ran all the way here from the Land of Fire just to make sure you were okay.”

“Yeah, he was just about ready to cry when he handed you off to us,” the nurse told me, a small smile on her face. “He really cares about you, Miss Y/N.”

The nurses told me a lot of things while I was being healed. They loved to talk, and Kakashi was a man of much interest apparently. Even though I was in pain, they made it somewhat bearable to sit in the hospital for three days.

Every week, I would go back for a follow up, just to make sure the poison hadn’t reemerged. My last appointment just happened to be with the Hokage herself, her expertise above all others. I worried something might be wrong, as my injuries seemed to be getting better, but needing the Hokage to perform an exam must mean something is wrong. Honestly, I was anxious.

I settled onto the patient’s bench as the powerful woman walked into the room.

“Y/N. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good. No pain anymore.”

“Alright, well, I’ll listen to your vitals, check your blood stream and chakra flow, and hopefully you’ll be out of here in no time,” she told me, doing as she said she would. I laid on the bench and let her medical chakra flow through me, searching for abnormalities.

After that, I sat up for her to check on my back, which was just about finished healing and scaring. Every shinobi has scars, and thankfully these are hidden under my shirt at all times. Big red welts sat there for a week to the point where it hurt to even wear a shirt because the fabric rubbed against them.

She lifted my shirt, her cold finger running along the healing wounds. Suddenly, her fingers stopped, right under my shoulder.

“Well, that’s quite...shocking.”

“Something wrong?” I piped up, peeking at her from over my shoulder. Her eyes were trained onto my back, eyes widened.

“No, it’s not a problem,” she lowered my shirt, and patted her hands together. “Good news is that you’re completely fine, no complications.”

“Bad news?”

“More good news, I suppose,” the woman told me, her lips quirking into a half grin. “Your necklace is gorgeous. I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off it since you started wearing it, to be honest. Sakura told me Kakashi gave it to you.” She sighed, touching the crystal hanging close to my heart.

With a smile, I nodded, eyeing the stone myself. “It’s one of my most prized possessions,” I gushed, heat returning to my cheeks as I thought about receiving the gift.

“Then I have some great news for you.” She let go of my necklace and stepped back a bit, crossing her arms under her breasts. “You and your beloved have the same soulmark. It seems Kakashi is your soulmate.”

My heart stopped beating in my chest for a second. Wide eyes met her neutral ones, and I opened my mouth to say something, but she beat me to it. “I’ve healed Kakashi time and time again, so I know his mark. It’s under his mask, so you would never get the chance to see it. Yet, it matches yours perfectly. Congratulations.”

“Lady Hokage, I-I...Thank you for telling me! This is all I’ve been wishing for for years. Meeting my soulmate, I’ve only ever thought about it in my dreams. I-I can’t believe it.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/N. You and Kakashi will have a mission in 2 days, I suggest you tell him sometime then, when you have time together,” she advised. I nodded gratefully.

She bid me a goodbye and shut the door as she left. My heart was still in overdrive as I processed what she had just told me.

I would just have to wait a few days and then I could tell him everything. It would be the best day of my life.

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shanaraki · 3 years

Text

OCTOBER 2TH, 2021.

DAY ONE.

—— I've decided I'm starting a journal. ——

I have never been that good in keeping track or stuff. I get bored, I abandon what I start so easily. It is hard for me to push myself into doing something I don't have the motivation for.

However, I've decided I'm starting a journal. This journal. I feel better writing it online than in paper. When I'm forced into writing it in slow motion with my own hands, I get desperate sooner or later. My mind rushes and the words speed up while my hand is still struggling with the first lines.

I do have a lot to say. About so many things. There are things I'll never write or speak about. The belong in the silence between God and me, the empty spaces where the human mind can't go, that secret and non existence place.

I'm better now.

This imply that I was bad, of course. It's a cycle. I know the bad things won't stop coming, but I like to think that's no reason to stop working on myself. More than a circle this is... A spiral. I'm trying to make this spiral going up. It's hard. Humans can so easily die. It's so simple, so effortless to give up on myself and let the pull of the Earth take me underground. And yet...

I'm better. Not physically. I haven't been sleeping enough or drinking enough water or eating like I should. It's not my body that it's better, it's my mind. I don't disassociate as much these days. I feel present. I feel like I'm my body and not just in my body. I have more energy. I want to do things like clean my hair often and take care of my skin. I want to do exercise, to eat healthier. I feel calm, in my mind, in my thoughts. I need to keep meditating and doing my breathing exercises. They do help a lot.

There are many things I need to work in. My physical health is one of them, but also I need to practice using my phone less. I need to find other things to calm me. I have my paintings, I could practice with them. Or maybe drawing. And of course, there is my thesis.

I've been avoiding my college duties. Again.

I fear the stress or the semester. There's something that's very frustrating to me, and it is feeling like I'm failing at some task while everyone is already many tasks in front of me. Like,,,, hmm,,,, it's like trying on your shoelaces while you're on a marathon. You need to stop and tie them, but if you do you're gonna lose time and they're going to get even farther away, and you're so stressed over it that you're losing concentration, and the shoelaces, and the competitors, and your stress, and— there it goes. It gets worst and worst until you kinda resignate and think "I just need to finish this marathon, just it. I don't want to compete anymore".

There's also the fear of what I'm going to do after I graduate. Work is the obvious answer, right? I should. I want to work. But there's this idea,,,,, listen, sometimes I don't understand people. I'm smart, but not when it comes to normal things or daily skills. The other day I put a candy on the microwave for a minute and I almost burned the microwave.

I don't know how to do any house choirs. Why? Well, because my family tells me I should do them, but the minute I try and do them, they appear and tell me to go away because I'm doing everything wrong.

How am I supposed to learn if I can't practice? But there's still some sort of trauma reaction in me. I fear doing something that can't be fixed while practicing. That's the reason why I fear driving, because I'm terrified of damaging the car (mostly because I don't want to cost extra money to anyone, and I don't have money to buy and less alone fix a car).

So I should work. To gain some money. But let's not talk more about that because I got nervous just by thinking of it.

Aaand I lost track of what I was saying. I'm sleepy. I was supposed to write how today I was better. I downloaded some cool apps, I want to learn how to play the kalimba, I felt pretty today, comfortable, safe. I shouldn't be writing my problems on an online diary but oh well.

This is exactly how my mind works. Now it is bored of writing this and wants to close the tab. I wants to change the song. Meditate. I get bored of things so fast this days. I'm not able to end a whole task if I don't pressure myself for HOURS. I'm better but there's still a long way to go.

I wish I could go to a psychiatrist and finally see if I have anxiety or adhd or if im just overreacting. When I told my psychologist I thought I had anxiety, she told me she would not give me any labels to use, only treat me. I suppose that is good, but a part of my does wish I could know the labels. I don't like when I don't know what is happening. I don't like when I don't have control over the stuff that surrounds me. I don't like being vulnerable or deadly curious.

I haven't been praying that much later, either. I miss my regular contact with God. It makes me feel very lonely and afraid, and very guilty and ashamed. I know many people hate Christians and for a good reason, because many have hurt the whole world with those ideals. And I know for many the way I feel would be silly. I just........ I can't stop believing in him, feeling this way. I want to help others, not by hurting them, but by just standing in silence in the distant with my silly words and silly presence, so if they ever feel lost, they can always find me and sit, talk with me. I love them all. I love humanity so much. It makes me sad. I see the killers and the politians, I see the worst human beings and I think, "I wish you some clarity, I wish you some joy, I wish you to be so full of good things that there's no more evil feelings, just the ability to feel guilty and change, to become a better person".

I'm tired of seeing people dying. Suffering. My grandpa E (the biological father of my mom) is dying. His lungs are collapsing, slowly but surely. We lost my grandma some two or three years ago. I don't think of her as much as before, but I feel it, her absence. I miss her voice and her hugs. I miss the people we were when she was alive. I miss my grandpa H (the step-father of my mom) happiness, I miss the time where my mom's face was not so gloomy and sad.

I'm tired of hatred and anger. I see it everywhere and many who feel it are just sad and hurt. Like wounded animals, they lash out when they are in pain. And I wish I could cure them. Yes, I guess I have a Saint complex or whatever. I feel bad for speaking about how I wish I could save the world, love every human enough for them to feel better. I feel bad for not being capable of doing more.

And the worst part is that I feel like I'm capable of doing more, but I don't do it because I'm afraid. If I wasn't so shy or anxious, if I wasn't so selfish, I could be out there traveling and saving lives. I look at my ceiling in the dark and think if I'm gonna die paralyzed by fear. Or if I'm going to die fearing dying that way, and asking to much of my body and soul and mind, enough to destroy myself.

I don't want to sound self-centered, damn. I am anxious again. You see, I'm better, but it is hard. It feels like my limbs need to move because it is a physical discomfort. It feels like I need to do something, to shake that feeling.

This is a lot for a first day entry. No one is going to read this, just me. And if there's someone reading it, then... Know you're walking over my heart. Every word is war, every emotion written in the moment. I'm laying in a couch with red led lights in a white room. There are some dark brown furnitures, the room is tiny. There's a giant TV on the floor, there are plants on shelf next to the ceiling. The plants are tiny and fake. There's a big window, closed with curtains. There's another high tiny window, and a mini desk that goes into the wall in a sort of hollowed square that there's in the room. There are two posters on glass frames, they are big, they are by the wall.

It's almost 2AM. I hear some cars passing by. It's neither cold nor hot. There's a constant sound, like the one electric devices make. It's kind loud. I don't know if it's the nature or the electric devices. I'm on an apartment. The town I'm in is in the mountains, but a few minutes from a big city.

I'm calmer now. It's feel a little lonely in this room because I'm on my own. My family is on the apartment, but there's no sound to be heard of them. At least the acoustic in this neighborhood let's you hear even when the person some building away is coughing. Yeah, crazy.

I think I'm going to be now. I'm tired. I want to be more online, write on my other blogs, do some rp, work on my thesis, clean my room, read books, watch TV shows... But even when I'm better, I need to be careful to don't pressure myself to much. Too many stimulus and I'm gonna be avoiding everyone again, until I feel less overestimulated.

No more worries. The day is over. I need to sleep.

Goodnight, mysterious person. And if no one ever reads this, goodnight to the absence of and the empty and the memories.

#Shan's personal diary

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megalony · 4 years

Text

She’s a good girl- Part 10

Here is the latest part of my murderer! Ben Hardy series which I hope you will all enjoy. There is a bit of angst in this part, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod @lelifesaver

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe, is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop fretting, you look good." Turning his head to the left, Ben cast his eyes down to (Y/n) walking beside him. Every few seconds or minutes he caught sight of her out of the very corner of his eye either brushing a bit of hair behind her ear, smoothing out the creases of her dress or fiddling with the cross hanging around her neck.

The little nervous acts themselves weren't annoying Ben, it was the reasoning behind why (Y/n) was becoming nervous that was irritating him. He hated the fact that (Y/n) was now becoming nervous to go to church when it was something she had done presumably since she was born. She had always gone to church on Sundays for sermon and before Ben walked into her life she never missed a service- which he felt partially bad about. But since her fallout with her family, she had missed two sermons and was about to miss a third today if Ben hadn't pushed her to go.

He knew she didn't want to miss sermons because despite it being her father who was leading them, (Y/n) was still devoted to her religion. She wanted to go to sermon and keep going to church events and go to confession if she wanted or just go and sit in the church.

Ben wasn't letting (Y/n)'s family push her out of the religion they had brought her into in the first place. They had brought her up and created her faith but that didn't give them any reason whatsoever to take away her faith or say she didn't deserve it or didn't deserve to be apart of the church she had been in her whole life. They couldn't throw her out like they wanted to and Ben wouldn't let them, if (Y/n) wanted to go to sermon she could go. There was no reason for her family to exclude her like they were trying to do.

"I can't help it." (Y/n) smoothed out yet another crease in her dress before she turned her head to look up at Ben. "They don't want me here."

"Fuck what they want, this is your church too. The doors are open for a reason, they don't exclude anyone so you can go in." Ben didn't care what (Y/n)'s family wanted or thought because they didn't matter to him and their opinions meant nothing.

"It's not just them... it's everyone else too and how they'll stare. I don't know what my parents have said or if they've said anything at all."

(Y/n) hadn't been home in two weeks, anything she needed from home Joe got for her to the point she didn't have almost any of her things left at home because Joe had very kindly moved most of her stuff out for her. He was trying to smooth things over with their parents and try to get them all to reconcile but it was a slow process so far.

But (Y/n) didn't know if her parents had said anything to their friends or the community or people at church. On the one hand, if they did say that (Y/n) had disgraced them and got pregnant, then people would only stare to try and see if it was true, they would already know what had happened and the feud that had gone on. But on the other hand, if her parents had been very tight-lipped and said nothing, then (Y/n) turning up today with a noticeable baby bump was going to raise eyebrows and send whispers running through the aisles. She didn't know what was worse.

The more (Y/n) started to think about it, the slower her feet became until she finally stopped in front of the church gate, not wanting to go inside anymore. She was a few minutes early and people were still turning up but (Y/n) wanted to turn around and take the long walk back home. It was a sunny humid day, they could just walk right back home and take advantage of the unusually nice weather.

"I- I can't, let's just go home." (Y/n) tugged on Ben's hand as she tried to turn around ready to walk back but Ben wasn't moving.

She could feel her heartbeat starting to increase and pound in her ears and it was making her stomach twist and churn and pulse with her heart that was expanding and growing in her chest. The longer (Y/n) stared at the church, the worse she felt and more horrid scenes started to come to mind of what could happen if she went inside.

(Y/n) bit back a whine when Ben spun round with her and wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. To the few people passing by it looked like he was being playful when he was really stopping her from leaving as he turned back around and pulled (Y/n) with him. He wasn't letting her walk away and go back home because it wasn't fair, this was something she wanted and she had every right to walk in there and sit down and listen to her father's sermon. It didn't matter who wanted her or not, there were no rules or obstructions in a house of God. Everyone was welcome inside, even prisoners or murderers like Ben.

"Doll, we're not walking back home until you've gone in there. You look lovely, you're part of this church and it's Sunday, you're going in." Ben hovered his lips over (Y/n)'s ear as he spoke quietly so no one else would hear. He wasn't letting her give up and leave like this she couldn't give in to her family when she had gone against all of their other obstructive rules and morals so far.

This was her life, (Y/n) could live it how she wanted.

When Ben felt (Y/n) sighing against him, he turned her around until she was facing him so he could lean in and kiss her sweetly before taking her hand in his again.

"W-what are you doing?" (Y/n) tried to smile but the confusion on her face was very clear when Ben started to walk through the gate and up the narrow path to the church doors.

They had talked about this before they left the house and it was just agreed that Ben would go off and do whatever for the hour that (Y/n) would be in sermon. He could take a walk round to the club or drift somewhere, Ben had no problem killing time, it was something he was good at and he didn't usually get bored. It wasn't on the cards that he would go in with her. (Y/n) didn't necessarily want to sit there on her own at the back like she had been disowned but she didn't think Ben would want to go to a sermon.

She knew he had nothing against religion but it wouldn't feel right for him to sit through something he didn't believe in like this. And (Y/n) didn't want an argument with her family. They would see her and Ben, her father certainly would anyway and he wouldn't let them leave afterwards without talking or arguing with them.

"I know you, doll. You'll try and hide out the way or leave when your family spot you and I'm not having that. I ain't leaving you here alone."

It wasn't that Ben didn't trust (Y/n) or he thought she had to be watched, it was the fact that he didn't want her to feel pushed out or cut off from anyone. If he was sat there next to her he knew she might feel calmer and more at ease and less likely to want to leave out of pain or anxiety or embarrassment.

(Y/n) took a deep breath the moment they stepped over the threshold of the doorway and onto the stone floor that made her shoes click and announce their presence. (Y/n) glanced around the aisles at the familiar faces, some of which she didn't really want to see and some who she knew wouldn't want to talk to her when they realised she was pregnant. Being the reverend's daughter meant that (Y/n) knew everyone in the parish community, she knew their names, where they lived, their families, she was a familiar face to them all.

Now that didn't feel like such a good thing because they had all seen and known her as the youngest child of the reverend. They saw her as a sweet, angelic little girl who was all smiles and innocence. To realise she had turned up to church with a man, pregnant and an engagement ring on her finger was going to be a shocker to everyone. Especially when they realised that (Y/n) wasn't sitting up front with her family like she always did.

(Y/n) bit down on her lower lip before she tugged on Ben's hand, motioning to an aisle that was empty on the left-hand side. It was quiet, out the way and near the back so that when the sermon finished they could be out and away before any of her family managed to get to them.

But Ben seemed to have other ideas.

There was a small smile on his face that made (Y/n) tense and when he shook his head her knees weakened. Ben's hand let go of hers so that his arm could wrap around her middle like he was securing her to him so that she had no means of escape. He kept walking down, following a stuck up lady (Y/n) disliked before he stopped and motioned to the fourth row from the front which meant there would be three rows between them and (Y/n)'s family.

"Ben no-"

"Come on, you don't have to hide at the back, you know."

(Y/n) took another glance behind them at all the other aisles that they could sit in but she knew they were just ideal for hiding like Ben suggested. She shouldn't hide when she was here to pray and listen and be here for her faith, she wasn't ashamed of her faith or her life so she shouldn't have to hide herself away like she was.

It took a few seconds for (Y/n) to find the ability to move her feet before she shakily shuffled into the aisle and sat down, leaving a substantial amount of space between herself and the next person so she didn't have to be close enough to talk or touch or even look at properly.

It was like Ben could hear the raging thoughts in her mind about how she wanted to go back home or go for a walk or be anywhere else but here when the church started to fill up. She'd never been this worried about going to a sermon before, Hell she'd even given a small talk at a few of her father's sermons before and it never bothered her talking to everyone. But right now, just sitting amongst them made (Y/n) feel horrid and sickly and uncomfortable and she'd never felt like this in church before.

When Ben noticed (Y/n)'s leg jittering up and down like she was pumped full of adrenaline, he slowly reached his hand over and curled his fingers around her leg near to her knee to try and calm her down. Tapping her foot might release the energy and anxiety she had but it wasn't going to do her much good.

The moment (Y/n) heard her fathers's voice suddenly resonate off the stone walls and bounce around the church, her body stiffened and she lowered her head to look down at her lap and Ben's hand instead. She didn't want him to see her, she didn't want to be noticed, she just wanted to be here for sermon and her faith, that was it. Even hearing his voice made her feel conflicted because his voice was droning out and all she could hear was those horrid words he had spoken to her two weeks ago. But then again, his voice was as calm and collected as it always was at sermon, he sounded so caring and understanding.

No one had ever seen the side of him that (Y/n) did that day and his voice was never going to be as soothing to her as it once was.

(Y/n) knew she shouldn't have worn this dress today, it was going to be a beacon to her father and her mother and sister if they turned and looked her way. It was her usual Sunday dress, the baby blue knee-length dress that normally made her feel childish, but not today.

Normally the dress made (Y/n) feel like a china doll being dressed up and paraded around, it made her feel like she was ten years old instead of nineteen. But today was different. Today the dress reminded her of the day she first met Ben wearing this dress when he saw her for who she really was and how old she actually was. It was showing her that she was who she always wanted to be. She was grown up, she was engaged, and she was going to be a mother soon and the dress showed all of that perfectly. When she looked in the mirror this morning, (Y/n) saw a mature woman instead of a pretty little girl of the parish.

But the dress was still a symbol that would grab her parent's attention. They would look her way and realise she was here, they would see her as a grown up and that would spark controversy for them and make an argument arise.

When (Y/n) heard her father telling everyone to bow their heads in prayer, (Y/n) latched her right hand around Ben's upper arm, pressed her head into his bicep as her eyes fell tightly closed and her left hand clenched around the cross hanging around her neck. It seemed to Ben like they were on a roller coaster coming up to the scary part and (Y/n) was clinging to him out of fear or what was going to happen.

(Y/n) mumbled her prayers very quietly under her breath so that she knew Ben would be the only one who would hear her mumbles and pleas but repeating her prayers always made her calm down.

(Y/n) didn't open her eyes until a few minutes after the prayer ended and her father started the topic for today. But when she did open her eyes, she couldn't help but glance over to her left to see who she was sitting near. It was a surprise for her to see Mr and Mrs Laine, an elderly couple that always came to church every Sunday without fail. Mrs Laine used to give (Y/n) chocolate when no one was looking and always listened to her stories and let her speak without saying she was childish or telling her to be quiet.

She hadn't seen or spoken to them for what must be three or four months now and even when (Y/n) did speak to them it was only a brief hello, how are you that passed between them.

For one dreaded moment when Mrs Laine turned her head and caught (Y/n)'s eye, (Y/n) thought she was going to frown or gasp or even turn her head in distaste. She watched the elderly woman in fear when her eyes darted up and down her frame before moving to see who (Y/n) was sitting next to and clinging onto for dear life.

But instead of frowning or looking away or having a disapproving look in her eyes, Mrs Laine raised her grey brows and smiled. Her head tilted down causing her to look at (Y/n) through her lashes but the smile on her face was a teasing yet interested one like she was silently approving of (Y/n)'s life choices and looked surprised but happy about Ben.

Even though she had to be in her seventies, Mrs Laine reminded (Y/n) of a teenager with that look on her face. She reminded (Y/n) of a college friend who wanted to be told the gossip she had missed out on.

What was more surprising to (Y/n) was how Mrs Laine had a clear view of Ben's physique. She could see the scars littering his skin which (Y/n) knew were from both boxing and from being slashed with a knife. She could see Ben's tattoo that expanded from his left shoulder down to his elbow, she could just about see the one at the back of his neck and if she looked closely Mrs Laine would be able to see the ones on Ben's knuckles.

He wasn't the type of man people in this church would approve of, yet Mrs Laine seemed rather taken with him already.

Ben was wearing a plain button up shirt that was half undone, he had dark brown trousers and brown suspenders looped over his shoulders with his arms exposed showing off his tattoos and biceps. People didn't dress like Ben did to come to church and most of the people here didn't have half as many- if any, tattoos like he did. They didn't sit rather spaced out and chilled like Ben did and they didn't have that dangerous look in their eyes.

(Y/n) flashed a nervous but kind smile at Mrs Laine before she dared to look around at everyone else.

There were a few eyes on them and none of them were smiling like Mrs Laine was. Their eyes were narrowing and staring over at Ben because they didn't recognise him and he looked off-putting to everyone here.

Everybody heard it.

Everyone heard the moment Paul's voice faltered and he stuttered, something that never happened in any of his sermons. It was as if he was Scrooge and he'd just witnessed one of the three ghosts coming to see him, but this time the ghost was (Y/n). When their eyes locked his shoulders tensed and his eyes narrowed like he was trying to decipher if she was a ghost or not whilst also trying to keep talking and not make a scene or lose his place in his speech.

His eyes raked over (Y/n) like he was spotting any changes in her and the dress she was wearing clearly caught his attention. Since (Y/n) was sitting in the fourth row she was shielded by everyone else in front so he wouldn't be able to see her baby bump, but he could see Ben sat next to her and Ben became Paul's focus for the rest of the sermon.

Ben could tell he was the focus of Paul's attention, but he loved it.

He leaned back like he was slouching in his seat at school just waiting for the teacher to come and tell him off. He rose a brow at certain points through Paul's speech, but what really got on his nerves was the way that Ben's lips twitched up in just one corner so he was smiling in a very sly kind of way. And when he tipped his head down and looked up through his lashes, Paul thought it was the devil sitting in his church.

(Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's shoulder when his hand left her leg and moved to circle around her waist. Her eyes couldn't dare look back at her father but she kept looking around her every once in a while as she tried to take in what her father was saying without it going in one ear and straight out the other.

When the time came to stand up and sign the last hymn of the day, (Y/n) was relieved. It did feel good to be back in the church and back at sermon, but she'd had enough for one day and she wanted to go home and feel at ease.

A flurry of butterflies swirled in her stomach when she looked looked up at Ben to see him smiling at her when he realised she was singing the hymn without needing the leaflet that held the words. She'd heard all of the hymns so many times they became second nature to sing, they played in her head constantly. Seeing Ben smiling like that made a small weight lift from (Y/n)'s shoulders. She never sang loudly in church, although she had a good voice she wasn't the best and she hated to be heard or to overpower anyone else, but she felt she could sing a tiny bit louder without the fear of getting funny looks or stares or a look from Ben.

"Feeling better?" Ben leaned his head down so he could whisper the words quietly to (Y/n), relieved when she smiled and nodded in response. She was glad he pushed her to come today and she was even more relieved that Ben had joined her. Sitting here on her own trying to see if people were staring at her would have driven (Y/n) insane.

"I think it's time to go." (Y/n) pushed herself into Ben's side when she noticed her father whispering to her mother before both Linda and Cora were turning around, desperately trying to find (Y/n) in the aisles. When their eyes found her there were so many emotions that (Y/n) could barely keep track of.

Ben took (Y/n)'s hand and moved to the end of the aisle but he turned around when (Y/n) stopped walking.

(Y/n) looked over at Mrs Laine when she reached out with her frail, shaking hand and gently held (Y/n)'s wrist to gain her attention. Her very pale blue eyes drifted to get another look over at Ben before she looked down to examine the ring on (Y/n)'s finger.

"Lucky girl, you look happy." Her thumb rubbed over the back of (Y/n)'s wrist as she spoke with a gentle smile, sending a silent message that (Y/n) understood.

Mrs Laine always used to say that (Y/n) needed to go out more or experience her life and have some fun. She gave (Y/n) sweets or chocolates to cheer her up, she always saw a look in (Y/n)'s eyes like she was missing something and as she grew up Mrs Laine always noticed the way (Y/n) lived for her family and did what was expected of her. She'd never see (Y/n) quite as happy as she seemed right now, despite how nervous she was to see her family.

"I am." (Y/n) smiled warmly before she turned to wrap her hands around Ben's arm when Mrs Laine let go of her wrist. She watched Ben flash the elderly woman a cheeky but very charming smile and nodded his head at her before he looked to see if they could get out yet or if the flock of people were still trampling down to get out.

Ben merged out of the aisle and into the flock of people walking towards the doors, making sure (Y/n) was still at his side but he could see her looking behind them to see where her family was.

They just managed to get out of the church and start walking as people dispersed around them before a different hand latched around (Y/n)'s wrist and tugged on her limb until she turned around.

(Y/n) knew that hand, she knew that hold and those refined nails that were trying desperately not to puncture into her skin and she didn't want to turn around and face her, but what else could she do? (Y/n) took a very deep breath that she held in her lungs for as long as possible before she dared to turn around and face her mother.

The sadness in her mother's eyes was battling with a look of distress and eagerness to talk to (Y/n) and it was very unnerving to witness.

"Can we talk, honey, please? Just for a minute or two?" Linda tried to smile but when she looked down all she could do was focus on (Y/n)'s stomach. The dress wasn't tight or small fitting on (Y/n) but it didn't do anything to hide the evidence like Ben's shirts and jumpers did and that was one of the reasons (Y/n) was wearing the dress. She had no reason to hide her pregnancy, her family already knew about the baby and she wasn't ashamed so she didn't care who saw. All she worried about was if anyone would actually say anything to her about it.

It was clear that Linda didn't really believe (Y/n) about the baby before, it was easier to believe it wasn't real than to face the truth but it was impossible to ignore it now.

(Y/n) bit down on her lip but she nodded all the same, looking over at Ben with a look that said it was okay because she could feel the way he was tensing beside her. He followed (Y/n), her mother and her father back up the path and to the side of the church where there was a bench, but no one moved to take a seat. They were all too tense and uneasy to sit down.

"I'm so sorry, honey. We should never have reacted like that, but it was just a shock, why don't you come home and we'll talk about it all over lunch?" Linda's smile unnerved (Y/n) because it was one she had seen too many times before. She was trying to break the ice and be calm but if (Y/n) went back and tried to talk they were only going to disagree.

Linda was never going to be okay with this because it was wrong in her eyes. (Y/n) was 'too young' to have a baby because Linda still saw her as fourteen, she didn't agree with having a baby before marriage, people already knew about this now and it was a scandal in her eyes. And she was never going to be okay or get along with Ben, (Y/n) knew that for sure.

"Is this him?" Paul spoke up, his voice low and gravelly and his words caused Linda to look over at Ben as if she had only just realised he was present.

"This is Ben... Ben this is my mum Linda and my dad Paul."

(Y/n) could feel the tension when Ben didn't offer his hand to shake their hands like Linda would have expected him to do. He didn't smile or grin or even look neutral, he looked displeased and unamused, his head was tilted at an angle, his eyes were narrowed like he was bored and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

"(Y/n) told me you're a businessman, and you're older than she us... I do hope you're not stringing her along, you do know she's nineteen don't you?" If Linda was more loving and understanding and overall a better mother (Y/n) might have been a little more comfortable with her stepping in and talking for her like that. But it wasn't fair of Linda to question Ben or act like he was some heart-breaker who did this to everyone when she didn't know him at all.

"I could ask you the same thing." Ben's smile was off-putting to Linda and his calm tone was unsettling when he looked sickly sweet yet on edge at the same time.

"Surely you can see how this looks-"

"I think so. It looks like an overbearing mother controlling her daughter because she doesn't want her to be herself and because she wants to dominate her daughter's life. Oh, you meant me? Well, I'd say it looks like your daughter is comfortable and happy around me because I let her be herself and because I love her. I'm sure if you love her you wouldn't throw her out for that, would you?"

The amount of spite and the vindictive tone in Ben's voice unnerved everybody but the way he stayed so calm and composed without moving a muscle was even more threatening. He would have carried on and he would have buried Linda six feet under with the rest of the corpses here if it weren't for (Y/n) tightening her hold on his arm to try and tell him not to.

"So you think it's okay for an older man to prey and lead on a young girl and then get her pregnant like this?" Paul's words weren't bitter or snapped or even spoken in a raised tone of voice, but they were cruel and his expression was almost hollow.

"Dad please..."

"Please what, (Y/n)? Being with him isn't right you must see that, he's twenty seven, he clearly has no faith and you think he's got some interest in you so you let him do this to you-"

"Well that's rich, coming from you." (Y/n) stared up at Ben in fear when he spoke so calmly again, but this time his eyes were on fire. His emerald green eyes were burning bright like gems but his pupils were slowly taking over until his eyes were almost fully black like black holes that you could become trapped inside with no escape.

"Excuse me?"

"You smother (Y/n) until she can't breathe, you control her every move and decision and when she finally starts to be herself you condone her for it. And I hardly think a man of your faith would hit his daughter or call her a whore, do you?" The moment the word whore passed through Ben's lips Paul tensed like his sins had been revealed to the world and Ben's hands clenched ready to hit him at the memory of how broken (Y/n) had been when she told him about it.

Ben was angelic despite all the crimes he had committed if he was compared to (Y/n)'s parents and that was a big sign that something was wrong. He wasn't doing anything wrong by loving (Y/n) and it wasn't a bad thing for her to know how she should be loved and how she could be herself.

"I am not doing this here in front of my parish with a man like you. (Y/n), we can straighten things out at home without him there." Paul's eyes darted over to Ben with a look of disgust but it washed over Ben completely because he didn't care. He wasn't letting (Y/n) go back without him because he didn't trust any of her family around her, there was no way anyone was upsetting or harming (Y/n) when he was around.

The moment Paul reached across to try and take (Y/n)'s hand or her wrist, he froze when Ben's hand was much quicker and latched around Paul's wrist instead.

"The last time you talked to her you slapped her, I'm not letting you anywhere near her unless I'm there and you certainly are not touching her." Ben didn't care if Paul was only going to take (Y/n) by the hand, Ben didn't want that happening because Paul was at the point where his temper could overflow just like it had last time. (Y/n) said her father wasn't one to hit her at any point in her childhood so for that to happen now meant that if he got angry it could repeat and Ben wasn't risking it.

He had knocked (Y/n) down last time and even though that was unintentional, if it happened again it could hurt (Y/n) or the baby and Ben wasn't taking that chance.

Paul seemed to bite his tongue and pulled his wrist from Ben's hold but his eyes were focused on (Y/n) like Ben was a waste of his time. He was waiting for (Y/n) to say something, to say that she wanted to go and talk or to tell Ben to reign in his temper or relax, but she didn't. (Y/n) didn't want to tell Ben to relax because he made her feel safe when her father didn't. She didn't want her father raising his temper at her or going to the point of hitting her but if he called her like he did last time it would break her. She wanted Ben in between herself and her father for the protection he gave.

"This doesn't involve you. You may have got her pregnant and put a ring on her finger but that doesn't mean you own her-"

(Y/n) locked eyes with her mother who was also at a loss for words, unsure where to step in, what to say or even what she should do with herself. There were quite a few people looking over at the scene that was beginning to unfold, no one had seen their reverend unsettled like this and he'd never said a bad word to or about anyone so this was something they weren't going to miss or overlook.

Paul straightened up and stayed where he was but he did look unnerved when Ben took a very daring step forward to show the small amount of height he had over the reverend. Those words were boarding on igniting Ben's bad side and no one here would want to witness that.

"Don't talk about her like she's something to be bought. I do not own (Y/n) and neither do you, I didn't put a ring on her finger, I proposed to her, there is a difference. And this involves me because it's my child you're a danger to and I don't like the way you control and hurt (Y/n) so you'd better get used to me being around."

Ben had no claim to (Y/n) just because he proposed to her and he would never think or talk about her like she was someone's property because she wasn't and she didn't deserve that. He could see (Y/n) shaking her head, running her fingers through her hair out of nervous habit and he could feel her other hand digging into his bare arm but it had no effect on him. Ben was too far into this argument to pull back now, this was a fight to him and whenever he fought, he fought to win.

"Ben, let's go home, this isn't worth fighting about anymore." (Y/n) moved until she was stood in the small space between Ben and her father, facing Ben. She didn't want a fight, as much as she loved and appreciated Ben standing up for her and trying to show her family that she could do as she pleased, it wasn't worth fighting about in front of the church and their community.

Her hands pressed to Ben's chest to try and get him to calm down and her expression alone managed to made his tense posture loosen and change. He would do almost anything she asked of him and they both knew it and as much as he wanted to hurt her father, he would listen to her instead.

"Honey your home is still with us, please let's talk to over. We love you honey we don't want to see you unhappy." Linda's words had a very bad effect on (Y/n) and they would never be enough to get her to go back with them. Once upon a time, they would have worked, but now (Y/n) had a taste of freedom and love, she wasn't giving that up for anything.

"(Y/n), your home isn't with this man it's with us and you know that. Why be with someone like him? A man without God has no boundaries and your faith won't help you with someone like this."

A shiver passed down (Y/n)'s spine when she felt her mother rest her hand on her shoulder but when she felt her father grab her elbow and attempt to pull her back between him and Linda, Ben saw the fright in her eyes. It wasn't so much a fear that she would be hurt, it was a fear of being trapped. When she was at home she was locked in a cage like a bird that was supposed to be free. They weren't going to condone her marrying Ben and they were never going to be happy about the baby.

If (Y/n) went home with them the life she wanted would never become a reality and she would be trapped. Even if she just went back to talk, she would be put down and made to be ashamed of and they would test her faith more than Ben ever had done. He had been nothing but supportive of her faith but her family turned it against her.

(Y/n) stumbled back a few paces towards her parents before Ben's hands reached out to steady her. It took a lot for Ben not to rip (Y/n) away from her parents and yank her into his chest because he wasn't used to feeling this angry and panicked at the same time. When she was steady on her feet she was pulled towards Ben until he could place himself in front of her father with her behind him.

"You're right, I don't have a God and there are no boundaries stopping me from doing whatever the fuck I like. So I'll make this very clear, if you touch her again, I will open the gates of Hell right here in front of your whole flock. Got it?"

Ben had no God, no boundaries and no morals that restricted him from doing anything, that was one of the reasons he killed people. Because he could. There would be nothing holding him back from unleashing his bad side onto Paul and his parish, Ben could do many unspeakable things when he wanted and when he felt provoked and Paul was prodding him with a stick right now. The more he got on Ben's nerves, the more danger he was putting himself in.

"Come on, Ben please..." (Y/n) uncurled Ben's fist and slipped her fingers between the groves of his own and held tightly until he turned to look at her. When he could see the tears in her eyes he took a step back from her parents before letting her lead them both down the path to leave the church.

Ben felt the anger bubbling up inside of him like he was a cauldron when he noticed how (Y/n) was looking down at her feet but she was practically shaking from all the people staring at them as they left. He could understand how she felt, she'd known many of these people all her life and now they were glaring at her or watching with wide, disapproving eyes like they were casting her out.

"Fucking hypocrites, the lot of 'em." Ben words and his rather dark glare was enough to make people look the other way or carry on walking but he knew it wasn't enough.

Maybe if he didn't tag along today things would be different for (Y/n), maybe she would have felt more able to come back to church next week, maybe people wouldn't stare or whisper or look at her funny. But then again, if he didn't stay with her then her family might have managed to get her to go home and they could have upset her. She would still have gotten looks from many people since she knew them all.

When they were on the path outside of the church, Ben let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist and tug her into his side comfortingly before he pressed a longing kiss to her temple. But he chose the exact wrong moment to kiss her because he felt her stiffen against him and stop walking. His eyes darted around to find the problem when he felt (Y/n) shaking much worse but he didn't like what he saw.

Joe.

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #murderer! ben #dad! ben #imagine #BoRhap #shes a good girl

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write-it-good-imagines · 4 years

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Sunset - Im Jaebum

Synopsis: Basically Harry Styles’ ‘Sweet Creature’; fluff, romance, ~1k words

Your first ‘I love you’s set you free and bring an overwhelming sense of peace.

Hello friends!! Another day, another one-shot, this time with our lovely leader, Im Jaebum! You know, I live for his soft side, although we also die for his daddy, wild part. So here I am to bless you hehe~ enjoy!

At a certain point in your relationship, he fell irreversibly in love with you. He sensed it, swiftly enchanting him in a spell that had no cure; slow and steady, it terrified him all at once.

It wasn’t a matter of ‘when’ or ‘where’ he realized he was in love with you, no. You cannot establish things like these, he was aware of that. It was more like walking every step of his way and not wanting to be on his own anymore. It felt taunting in a way. The more he tried to hide from it, the more intense it would be.

He noticed it himself every morning. He’d wake up with a goofy smile on his face. His expressions would be brighter, he’d be even calmer than usual. It wasn’t until his members would make fun of him that he really took it in. He was ashamed at first, how giddy you’d make him feel. Gradually, as you woke up by his side, or as you’d walk hand in hand in the streets, he’d relax and comprehend his feelings. It was his love for you and there was nothing wrong with that.

He also started talking more openly about you as his source of inspiration, his muse, and equally as his partner. He would get lost in his thoughts about you just as he did, today. Jaebum was walking a couple of steps behind you in the Han River Park, in his own little world. You wanted to watch the marvelous spectacle of the setting sun so he obliged happily. He needed some time alone with you in a quiet setting so he could simply enjoy your company in a long while.

You were walking hand in hand with Jaebum with your steps light, busy taking in the breathtaking tableau of nature. You let go of his hand unconsciously and skipped ahead, either stopping briefly to play with the dogs or admire the beauty of the flying birds, then charged ahead. Jaebum allowed you to be, falling back just enough to watch you from afar with an everlasting smile on his face.

It was inhuman how much you could adore a person in their entirety. How devoted you’d become to make them happy and see their smile, if only for a slight minute. Jaebum took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a photo of you just as you halted your little steps to marvel at the sunset. You were breathtaking.

You leaned over the metal railing, the wind toying with your hair in a ravishing manner. You brought up a hand to tuck it behind your ear, the light falling tenderly on your face. Jaebum let out a quiet, content sigh.

“You’re doing it again, Jae!” your giggle forced him to snap out of the trance, shaking his head a little. “You’re staring at me again.”

He must have been. “I am not going to apologize for that.” He chuckled, walking closer to you and snaking his arms around your frame from behind.

“How so?” you challenged, placing your hands atop his big ones. You tilted your head to the side when you felt his face nuzzling into your shoulder. You smiled at the comfortable contact and Jaebum pulled you closer to him.

“When my girlfriend is the most beautiful human being in the world, it’s only natural.”

A chuckle escaped your lips and a hue of pink adorned your cheeks at his compliment. Jaebum placed a soft kiss on your shoulder before gently turning you to face him. The sky exploded in a violent display of colors and the light was falling timidly on the two of you, enveloping you in its warmth.

You locked your hands around Jaebum’s neck just as his hands found your waist. You could swear his eyes had never been as clear and as sincere. He knew he was completely transparent in that moment, but he gave up on all pretense. He knew it was those moments that his gaze was glued to you, just as you previously stated. It was also you, the uncontrollable you that made his heart race. That sunset just reminded him of the facts. Of the only fact that mattered.

“I love you.” He stated, his voice trembling with emotion.

You flinched. It was the first time you heard it as clear as day, coming from his mouth. You felt how much he cared for you and how hard he worked to show you. Jaebum was a man of action mainly, which you loved about him. Even when he struggled, it was all to make you feel better. And along the way, you admitted it, too.

“I love you.” You responded and noted relief washing over his face. You knew how heavy a meaning those three words carried for him and you appreciated the amount of courage he mustered to confess to you. You lowered one hand to cup his cheek and nuzzled your nose to his. “I will be by your side forever, you know that, right?”

Forever was a long time, a challenging time. Maybe a faltering word in comparison to the feelings he carried in his chest for you. He just needed the present with you in it and he would somehow manage the ‘forever’ after. He would take care of you even if it was the last thing he did.

“I know.” He sealed your promise with a soft kiss, one you hadn’t experienced before with Jaebum. It was indescribably reassuring and loving, it was his vow to you, for now. You pressed your forehead to his, the modest rays of the sun shining still on the two of you. “I will never let you go”, he whispered.

You smiled and placed a chaste peck on his lips. “Don’t.”

Jaebum pulled away and took your hand in his, his fingers intertwining perfectly with yours. You nested into his arm; it was surreal how well a human being could fit with another. You closed your eyes as you walked side by side with Jaebum, getting lost in the evening landscape of Seoul.

#got7 #got7 imagines #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #im jaebum #fluff #got7 fluff #got7 romance #kpop au #got7 x reader #dude i died so many times writing this ok

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erismerald · 4 years

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𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 (jacob frye x reader)

heyooo guys, here I come to bring another little story. to change the fandom a little this time I bring on this trip into the past Jacob Frye. this story is dedicated to @noromeojulliet , I hope you like it, my love!!!

However I have to warn you again that English is not my first language and the text may contain errors, if you see any error I would be grateful if you told me!!!

GOOD READING!!!!

________________________________________________________________

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: semi mature, romance, semi explicit content

It was about 10 o'clock at night, I had already finished my tasks on the train and was already going to my carriage.

I was already living with the frye brothers and their partners for 6 months, they welcomed me when no one else did.

mr.frye always made me very nervous, he was very affectionate with me at first, but when i began to live with them i realized that he was like that with all of them.

From the moment I started living with them, Jacob moved away from me and without saying anything he started being cold to me. But still…i continue to be in love with him. I loved talking to him and listening to his crazy ideas, and always worried when he got hurt. he was 3 years older than me and I felt...I don't know, maybe nervous and anxious every time I thought about being closer to him.

he was very attractive and loved to flirt with any woman that passed by him, and I noticed sometimes how he looked at me.but never said anything about it.

on the way to my carriage evie passed me and greeted me.

"Good evening Y/n, is everything all right?" she said with a nice look.

"Good evening, miss evie, yes it's all right, just tired and you?" I said with a fond smile

"also my dear... ah if you see, jacob please tell him I'm looking for him" she said a little upset

"Have he gotten into trouble again?" I said laughing

"Yes, in big trouble…”she sighed “ sometimes he doesn't even look he had 23… but that's it, dear, good night," she said affectionately.

I wished her good night and walked to my carriage when it started raining a lot.

I went in and started to put on my pajamas, I was singing a little, after doing everything I sat down in front of the mirror and dyed my hair, until I dared a huge thunderstorm outside.

The light of the lightning invaded the sky, I liked thunder a lot, it left me quite calm and even helped me sleep better.

I had a little candle near me, and used it to read some letters that my sister had sent me, until I heard a huge noise at the door.

I got up quickly and ran to see what was going on, and when I opened the door I saw jacob all soaked, and with some scratches.

"Mr. Frye? What happened?" I said worried, not that it wasn't norrmal he shows up like that, but at my door...

"May I come in?" he asked with a bit of a sarcastic look.

"Sure, come in," I walked away from the door a bit to give him space to pass, and after closing the door I put myself in front of him.

"What happened?" I asked him again, helping him remove his coat.

"I was fighting with some ignorant guys near the train line and I ended up falling to the thames...and to get better it started raining" he took a short break "I lost the key to my carrige and at this moment, I don't want to hear evie complaining about my inresponsibility... what I want to say is..."

I noticed in his gaze that he was quite uncomfortable, and could feel a cold nearby, so I interrupted his thought.

"Yes, you can stay here, mrs. frye, I'll help you in any way I can" I spoke in a loving voice, in order to show him sympathy.

I know...he could be a huge idiot with me and everyone else, but he was a good person, just a little irresponsible and childish at times, but at that moment he needed help, and I wouldn't refuse to help him, since he was the one who gave me shelter, and since he is my boss.

"Thank you my love" he answered with joy.

"The first thing to do is to get out of these wet clothes, I must still have some of your clothes here that Miss Frye told me to sew" I said as I headed to the small compartment where the bathtub was, filling it with hot water.

When Jacob came out he's already removed his shirt, leaving his chest showing... he was very attractive and muscular, no wonder almost all the women in London had already gone to bed with him...but I still couldn't get it on...I felt my face burn, but luckily he didn't notice that part.

"It's all ready mr.frye... if you need anything you can call me" I said and he nodded to the bathroom.

While I was waiting for him to leave I started to prepare my bed so he could sleep, I didn't mind sleeping on the little sofa. I was distracted by my own thoughts when Jacob called me.

"Y/n love, can you come over here and help me?" I put down my bedding and headed to the bathroom.

When I walked in he was still in the bathtub, and I turned on my back, my heart was beating very fast and ruthlessly.

"y-yes? what can I do for you?" I asked a little nervous

“im a little tired and sore from the fall you'll help wash my back?" I could feel the malicious smile on his face even with my back turned.

"s-sure mr.frye" I turned slowly and took a deep breath... I couldn't panic or be ashamed, it's my job.

I approached him and knelt down slowly, still shaking hands of course, it's not that I've never been near a naked man before, but he made me super nervous.

He was already with his back to me that made me a little calmer.

I took the little sponge and plunged into the water, and started rubbing his back, and shoulders... he was very muscular and had a lot of scars, and that made me remember the adventures he told me.

It was a very uncomfortable silence, I felt my hands shaking immensely, and when I finished my work I was going to get up when Jacob held me by the hand.

"thank you my dear... but I still have one more favor to ask you." he paused and climbed his hand up my cheek "as you can see I'm having some injuries, if you could help me with this"

"of course, it's just better to get out of the water first" I laughed a little nervously and prayed to god to get out of there fast

"Of course I'll be out of here in minutes," he replied as I left the bathroom.

I ran out of the bathroom and started looking for something to help heal the minor injuries.

When I found a small first-aid kit, I grabbed it and put it on the bed, even though Jacob came out of the bathroom with only his pants on.

"Could you please sit down here" I asked quietly, again trying to ignore the fact that he was shirtless.

"okay doctor" was serious? he was flirting with me? I laughed a little and looked in the mirror, I was flushed and could see my breathing speeding up.

when he sat on the bed i sat down next to him and grabbed his arm

"ouch" he moaned in pain "that's really sore hum" he said laughing a little but I still noticed the expression of pain on his face.

"I'm sorry mr.frye, but to tell you the truth it's pretty bad," I tried to make a confident voice.

"Please stop calling me mr.frye, make me look like an old man and I'm only three years older than you, you can call me jacob," he said staring at me... for a few seconds our eyes crossed and I quickly turned my head.

"s-sure... sorry ahm you know…you are my boss and its an habit. I thought calling you "mr.frye" was more respectful"

"So you just see me as your boss?" he asked sarcastically.

"No... I mean yes... sometimes ? I don't know very well excuse me" I started to laugh to calm down

"It's okay, but I've never seen you as a maid, I've always seen you as a friend... sometimes even more than that," he said, grabbing my hand and holding his arm.

"What do you mean?" I looked into his eyes with a little shame.

"You know... you're the only woman I haven't been able to hold in my arms yet, you're harder than the others," he said by putting his hand on my face again.

I couldn't deny that I wanted him... I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him but there was nothing I could do.

As much as I wanted to have him, I wouldn't last another night.

And I don't want that for myself, I don't want to get hurt like that.

"Can you say something?" His voice brought me back to reality and looking into his eyes again...and then I could see deep in his eyes that he was being sincere...he was nervous because he could also see that his breathing was speeding up.

"Sorry Jacob... I don't want to be just another one on your list, I'm sorry..." I said honestly but deep down I didn't want to hurt him and even less maim my feelings

"I don't want you to be another one on my list” he stopped and quickly laid me on the bed underneath him.

have the view of jacob frye on top of me, it was exciting, but I didn't know if that was right, I didn't want to end up getting hurt " I want you to be with me all the time Y/N... Since we met I've always tried to impress you, but you never surrendered to anything. Then I started using other women to forget about you and that wasn't right in my mind, and for a while here I feel like I was cheating, I really love you Y/N! "He was telling the truth, his eyes weren't lying to me, at that moment I was happy and nervous at the same time.

"I love you too, to be honest, but I was never able to talk to you because I thought I had no status" and without warning a silence remained in the air, and the only noise was the sound of rain falling, the only light was the little candle, and yet I could see love on Jacob's face.

Without saying a word Jacob lowered himself and kissed me, a slow kiss but full of feeling, we both yearned for this and that kiss was just the beginning.

His kisses went down to my neck, and when we noticed already our moans and clothes were scattered all over the room. with time the candle went out and the dark involved the two bodies, which unified.

The sensation of his skin on mine, the sensation of his lips going through every piece of my being was exciting, the erotic sounds coming out of his mouth, and the force he exerted on me, were driving me crazy.

A few hours later I woke up with the sun caressing my face, and next to me was Jacob, smiling

"thank you for helping me... thank you for being by my side... and thank you for being mine, my love."

"You're welcome love" from that day my heart had won an owner and I had become the owner of the heart of jacob frye

#Assassin's Creed #assassin's creed iii #assassin's creed brotherhood #Assassin's Creed Syndicate #assassin's creed fanfic #jacob frye headcanon #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye #evie frye

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binobonobi · 4 years

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remus playlist predictions (and other opinions):

-if janus can have his playlist be entirely comprised of jazz, remus can have a playlist thats entirely chaotic, bordering on incoherent

-itll have i cant decide by scissor sisters (its got the non-sensical, chaotic, giddy vibe, its inappropriate, its about murder, its got a hint of angst thats overshadowed by the bravado of the song, “its a bitch convincing people to like you”)

-i wanna say that itll have the exit by forgive durden (its almost like an i want song? but? darker??, ”why cant you be more like your brother? together you would rule rule the throne the evil and darkness would grow”, “townsfolk are ashamed, why cant i live up to my family name?”, “youll be chained here all your life, shackled to the ground, youre not the chosen one”)

-it will have poisoning pidgeons in the park by tom lehrer (its generally calmer and more coherent than id peg him (hah) for but its like... the most jolly song about animal torture ive ever heard and the juxtaposition of the sound and lyrics works really well, plus theres a trend of the playlists having artists in common (which makes a lot of sense metatextually ofc im not trying to imply anything) and whos the very first song on logans list by? huh?? thats right! lehrer!)

-it might have murders from hawaii: part ii (just the general ominous, eery-ness?, the talk of dark terrors, the distorted audio)

-it might have word disassociation by neil cicierega (for the mere reason that its entirely incomprehensible and random)

-it might have ghostmane.... i really dont know what song (and i have no interest in researching to find out) but the general style seems up his alley

-it probably wont but i really, really want it to have literally any song by will wood and the tapeworms maybe 6up 5oh cop-out or bones (even though its a little too normal for him) (id say thermodynamic lawyer but the lyrics... ya feel?)... or any song from self-ish... except self.... and -ish.... (just? the the sheer chaotic energy? the themes of mental illness, addiction and borderline insanity??)

-it probably wont but could have the dismemberment song by blue kid (its got cheery talk of dismemberment, “and ive got no angel, to keep me in line, so im taking your narrative and making it mine, im all out of hurt, you used up all I got, so im chopping you up”)

-it probably wont but could have macavity from cats (its about an unpredictable criminal who defies even the laws of nature, “his coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed “, “ he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity” i mean hes the one who proudly called himself demented, remus would love the live action version)

-it will not have theyre coming to take me away by neuroticfish (you know how wolf in sheeps clothing wasnt on deceits playlist (for obvious reasons)? yeah)

other music but not really playlist related opinions:

-villains pt. 1 by emma blackery (its way to calm and coherent for him but “built to create, designed to destroy”, “and i am the nightmare", “but my body is bored of being torn apart”, “youve got me locked up”, “everybody's looking at you cause you set yourself on fire just to light up the room”)

-youve heard of all eyes on me by or3o now get ready for cant be erased by jt music (”im the dancing demon”, “[evil laughter] the wonders of imagination”, “call me a seed of evil but whats that mean if im conceived within your mind?”, “i was not always a monster once i was somebodys muse”)

-evelyn evelyn made me think of some split angst and general angst about remus lamenting a time where he was an accepted part of creativity (”we grew up closer than most“, “ why are you running away?“, “a parasite needs a host“, “just get away from me“, “i just want (you here with me/my privacy), god (can’t we just get along/won’t you leave me alone)?”)

#sanders sides #ts #remus sanders #remus playlist #playlist #hot takes #predictions #welp i couldnt have been more wrong #i fucking cant believe i didnt predict freaky 4 life #they were cold takes actually #but hey being unpredictable is his whole thing

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rkiny · 5 years

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˙ ˖✶ im nayeon for trc’s triple threat challenge! ↬ performing la la love by wjsn // 0:09 — 1:54!

there’s a distant sense of panic beginning to set in, her heart hammering in her chest, and nayeon can’t help the barrage of doubt and second guesses that begin to cloud her thoughts for what must have been the hundredth time that day— was this the right thing to do? could she really do this? was she really ready to try again, to start back on the path to improvement?

it had been her grandmother who told her of the auditions, showing her phone in nayeons face the day news of the competition first dropped. she could still hear the old woman's voice ringing in her ears, and it was enough to make a grin ( albeit a small one ) form on her lips. nayeon had tried to talk her way out of it, worry settling in the pit of her stomach at the thought of having to put together another routine, only to be failed one more, but her grandmother had put up a pretty convincing argument— i’ll drag you there myself if i have to, so you better have something ready to show!

so, she’d given in, and over the last week, had come to familiarize herself with a spare practice room in the dance studio she’d spent the majority of her teen years in. it had surprised her— how happy she’d been upon first walking in, old faces lighting up at the sight of her, and it was then that she truly realized how much she’d missed that feeling. the realization offered her comfort, a small sense of ease and muscle memory returning to her what she’d thought she’d lost little by little with each passing day spent mulling over what she’d be doing once she was called up to the stage.

now, at the actual venue, waiting to her name to be called, it’s hard to muster up the small bought of confidence she’d built up when practicing on her own.

“maybe i shouldn’t have come...” her words come out in low mutters, face pensive as her eyes jump between various other bodies, all seemingly stuck in their own bubbles while going through last-minute preparations and quick routine rehearsals as names are called one by one. vaguely, in her own foggy mind, a few faces stand out in recognition, but she keeps to herself regardless— she was in no mood to make small talk with others right now, not while she’s still attempting to steady her breathing ( she also doesn’t want to disrupt anyone else who might also be trying to get into the proper headspace ).

if she was being honest, she’s glad she’d ended up coming on her own, knowing lighthearted distractions from a close friend or family member were the last thing she needed at a time like this ( even if said distraction was meant to be encouraging ).

no, coming alone had definitely been the right choice, even if she now had to deal with her neverending nerves and doubts on her own. she was used to doing that by now— used to having to cheer herself up and make herself push through mental difficulties.

if she could get through this, regardless of whether she succeeded or failed, nayeon had faith in herself that maybe, just maybe, she truly was making proper steps towards the improvement she’s so desperately wanted to make over the last year of inactivity. the rejection she’d faced after her first audition offer months ago had done quite the number on her fragile conviction, a heavy cloud of sadness hovering over her for a good while before it felt like she could breathe again. that had been unexpected, and she didn’t like feeling like that.

the night before, she made herself a promise— regardless of what happened, she wouldn’t let the disappointment of another rejection overtake and dissuade her so easily again.

her name is called and it feels like someone’s dumped a bucket of ice water on her head.

before she walks up into the stage, she gives herself a second to loosen up, to try and make herself seem more at ease than she actually is. the deep breathes she takes help somewhat, her shoulders less stiff and breathing much calmer. walking on, she’s grateful she doesn’t trip over her own feet as she’s met with the hard stares of tiger jk and his group of fellow judges set on her ( she’s glad crowds haven’t become very intimidating for her the way they’d once been when she first started dancing— it’s easy to let her eyes bounce around unknown faces before settling back towards the judges ).

as she speaks, nayeon is glad her voice stays fairly level, and she lets her smile shine through sweetly as she gives a polite bow. “hello, my name is im nayeon! thank you for having me today, i hope you enjoy my performance!” with her introduction out of the way, she gets herself into position, waiting for the music to start. the moment she hears the songs intro, she moves with fluidity and ease, her body moving with a sort of elegance that was a mix of natural talent and practiced technique.

as she begins with the opening lines, nayeon knows her rapping isn’t her best skill. really, she’s not ashamed to say it’s definitely her worst, her focus always having been geared towards dancing and a sense of stage presence ( and to an extent, once she’d caught interest in musical theater back in her later years of high school, singing ), but that didn’t mean she was afraid to try— well, that was a lie. but, regardless of her fears, that wouldn’t stop her from trying. if she was required to show off rapping skills, then that’s what she’d do, even if they were subpar. to combat this, however, she’s glad she’d gone with a song that wasn’t heavily reliant on rap, one that went for more of an idol style rap, almost like sing-talking. she gets through it simply, going into vocals are her body moves seamlessly.

La la love (ah) La la la la la love Everything happened in a flash It bloomed in my heart I call it love 반짝 불빛이 반짝 두 눈을 깜빡 내 앞에 넌 서있어 찰칵 또 한 번 찰칵 지금 그대로의 널 담겠어

she’s sure to keep her vocals as stable as she can, not wanting to go too extreme in making them a stand out within the performance, putting more emphasis in her moves in the hopes that they’ll shine through the most and give off the best impression. what she lacks in other areas, she’s more than happy to make up for with her dancing until she can improve wherever else she needs to.

아무 준비 없이 널 좋아해도 될까 나 그래도 될까? 어렵게 생각 말까? 넌 예고도 없이 불쑥 내게 와서 나를 흔들어 잔잔했던 맘을 울려 Love 이 순간을 가둘래 Stay 찰나를 담은 frame Forever 그 안은 영원해

as she goes through the pre-chorus, she’s sure to have her expressions match the tone of the song, keeping her features alluring with each glance she throws the judges ( as well as the ones she gives to members of the audience— eye contact was important. it helped leave an impression, and that’s what nayeon wanted to do. she didn’t want to be forgotten ). she keeps her voice clear, letting her moves die down in their intensity only a little bit as the music builds up to the chorus.

너무 아름다운 너 stay 날 향한 시선 stay 지금 내 눈 속에 담긴 내 맘속에 새긴 이 순간 어쩌면 영원할 la la love La la la la la love La la la la so stay (stay stay) La la love La la la la la love 머물러 내 곁에 그대로 멈춰줘 잠깐 초점을 맞춰서 찰칵

with the start of the chorus, while she makes sure not to overdo it too much so her vocals don’t sound messy, nayeon puts more grace into the songs point choreography, never missing a beat with each transition she makes into the next string of moves. it’s almost like a domino effect, precision a key, and nayeon feels good. this had been her favorite part of the whole song, and she wanted to make sure she did justice to it as she showcased it to the audience and panel of judges. she’s glad for the clips pining hair down on one side of her head, knowing that it would have gotten in her face numerous amounts of times by now had it now been for them. it’s easy for her to flip strands from the other side back into place without disruption, giving a pretty smile as she does so ( and maybe even a small wink to an onlooker she’d made eye contact with ).

as she speaks the last part of the chorus, the song transitioning into the final portion, she takes a deep breath as she readies herself.

similar to how it’s originally done, she keeps her style of rapping in a more sing-song style, letting it more so flow than spitting bars. for her, it’s more of a time to wind everything down, trying to keep her tone smooth as she finishes with the music and her voice fading out, striking a finishing pose.

어쩜 나의 착각 없던 작은 바람 어떤 장난처럼 또 한 순간에 차오른 너 그냥 이대로 stay (save) 조금의 차이도 no no more 달이 맘처럼 차오르는 밤 날 안고 데려가

she waits a beat, letting the music fade a moment longer before moving to bow to the judges once more with a small smile before making her way off the stage, her breathing more erratic after moving around so much, heart beating just as madly as it had been before she’d even signed herself up for the competition. as she walks back into the area where people were still waiting for their turn, absentmindedly hearing another name being called for their turn to perform, nayeon can’t help but let out a heavy sigh that she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding in.

she was done— she’d done it. gone up there and given the best performance she could given the challenge.

whatever happened now, she’d just have to wait and see. all she was sure of was that, even if nothing came out of these officially, at least she knew she was ready to perform once again.

#──── ☆.｡* the solos.#──── ☆.｡* trc ent.#rkttc2 #( she did her best and thats all i can say!!!

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that-was-not-supposed-to-happen · 6 years

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Spark Of Twilight

fandom: game of thrones

request: Hi! So im not sure if this is where we put in imagine/scenario requests... but it to ask you anything so here it goes. Can you please do a scenario about qotho from game of thrones? Theres literally none out there... anywhere. It would be about a slave girl in the khalasaar and she's in love with him but he doesnt know she exists. Shes not ugly or anything shes just shy. They spend a night together and she totally rocks his world and he becomes possessive. It can feature drogo and Daenerys.

warnings: smut (18+)

You tiptoed around in front of his tent, nervously watching the opening flutter around in the wind. The girl who usually took care of Qotho was sick and someone had send the next best option around, which turned out to be you.

You had fantasized about situations like this quite often but now that the chance presented itself your nerves for the better of you. He had never noticed you before, why should be now? You were still as shy as ever and the nervousness only seemed to increase that particular character trait.

When you finally stepped inside you were met with an angry look for being so late and he growled something you did not catch before he waved you over.

Water was flowing down his chest, glistening in the shine of the flames all around. You restrained yourself from looking down further, instead went quickly to work on the other side of the bathtub to rinse his hair under the now almost cold water.

You took a cloth and went on to clean the upper part of his body, your face slowly heating up. You awkwardly stopped, ashamed to go on any further. He smirks when he sees the hesitation, the bad mood he was in before already forgotten.

"Join me." He catches your arm, waiting for a reaction.

You did not speak his language fluently but you understood enough and this, you caught quite well. Your eyes widen in realization but your body seems to be frozen in place. When you don't make any indication to move he simply pulls you down into the water.

He pushes your dress up to your hips, grabbing your ass to pull you into a good position. To his surprise you do not struggle against his touch and the harsh treatment, knees slipping down on either side of his legs quite willingly.

You can feel his cock pressing against your folds and move your hips up to let him slide inside. He grabs your hips, starting to thrust in and out almost immediately. His head falls back against the tub, groaning a sound of approval.

Quiet moans start slipping out, getting louder and louder with every thrust of his hips. You soon mewl like a whore, anyone near being able to hear just what was going on inside.

He starts thrusting harder and faster, fingers digging into your flesh. You tighten around him and feel a wave of pleasure coursing through you. He stills soon after, rocking his hips up a few last times until you feel his seed inside you, coating your walls.

You didn't really remember much of what happened afterwards, too caught in your little bubble of happiness. Somehow you had gotten back to your place and fell asleep without a care in the world.

But that carefree feeling was soon interrupted when a man harshly grabbed you by the arm and started tugging at your clothes. This time you tried to fight him off which was a futile attempt altogether. Almost everyone around was much stronger and no one would help a slave or even care.

At least that was what you thought until a blade cut through the air and the pain in your arm ceased. The man looked up in shock, like yourself, not knowing what just happened.

Qotho was fuming, talking so quickly that you hardly understood a thing. Only his angry expression indicated what was going on.

He stopped his rant, pulling you over to his side and went on in a much calmer but no less threatening voice.

"She's mine, don't touch her."

#qotho x reader #qotho imagine #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones #qotho

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bowmanwritesnsfw · 6 years

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i don't know if you're into the grumps, but danny jerking off in the recording room and arin catching him and joining in?~

Uhhh Hell Yes Man, that’s some gud shit dude!

It was a bit late in the night, most of the Grumps had gone home, except for Arin and Danny. They still had a few more episodes to record but they’re running out of steam.

Arin took a step out of the room about 20 minutes ago, deciding to make himself a snack before heading back for the next episode. When he got back to the door, he hears some muffled moans on the other side.

‘Woah, is Dan okay?’ He thinks to himself, opening the door a little to check inside. His eyes focus on Danny, his face was flushed and sweat was on his forehead. He was panting softly, holding back moans as best he can though some still slip out. Arin looks lower and his eyes widen.

It’s actually happening, Danny is jerking off in the Grump Room. And he’s not just idly stroking, he stripped off his pants and is going wild. One hand is cupping his full balls, probably pent up from having to record all day, and his other is wrapped around his cock and jerking it rapidly.

Arin gulps nervously, the sight of his best friend so deeply engrossed making his own member harden up, making a tent in his sweat pants. Noticing this, Arin blushed and hides it in his waistband, wondering what the hell does he do.

'I can’t just act like this didn’t happen man!’ He thinks to himself, his now throbbing erection pressing into his stomach. 'Maybe I, i can go in and just talk it out?’

Taking a deep breath, Arin stands up straight and slowly opens the door. Danny hasn’t even slowed down, his cock is now shiny and coated in his precum.

He takes a second to pause and attempts to clear his throat. “H-Hey Danny.” He says softly, which leads to Dan tensing up and closing his legs together, hiding his erection under his shirt.

“Fuck, I I am so sorry Arin! I just, I couldn’t hold it and I, I messed up” Dan says, clearly very flustered and embarrassed to have been caught by his best friend. “C-Can I um, have a minute to get changed?” He asks, not seeing Arin moving to sit down next to him.

“Hey, it’s okay Dan, I totally get it.” Arin tells him calmly, hoping to try and relax the situation. “It’s getting late and I’m sure you were feeling a bit tense. I’d probably do the same, so don’t worry about it.”

Dan breaths a sigh of relief, still very embarrassed but much calmer now. “Th-Thank you, Arin, I’m so glad you aren’t angry.”

Arin can’t help but chuckle a little. “Hey I won’t get mad, I can tell you I’ve done the same thing before man. It’s all good.”

Dan smiles at him, but then tilts his head down, hiding his face. “How um, how many times have you, done that in here?” He asks, genuinely curious but clearly a horny question.

Arin’s face goes red, a little shocked by the question as he awkwardly rubs his neck. “I uh, I dunno like, 4 times I think?” He says, thinking it might be a bit higher than that. “Umm, what about you?”

Dan curls up with a sense of shame and sighs, tilting his head back and looking at Arin. “Tw-Twenty times.. at the very least.”

Arin’s jaw drops, totally taken back by just how many times he’s done this and kept it secret. “O-Oh uh, wow dude.” He says, taking a seat in the couch next to him. “That’s uhh, pretty impressive, i gotta say.” Arin says jokingly, but genuinely impressed.

Dan smiles, but is very clearly still ashamed about being caught like this. “Thank you. Um, c-can I head to the bathroom? I want to, freshening up and maybe go home.” He says, his body still very tense and his eyes close to watering.

Arin sees this and reaches over, giving Dan a hug and patting his back. “It’s okay Dan, you don’t have to be embarrassed with me. Okay?”

Sighing deeply, and not caring about his nudity, Dan hugs Arin back and wipes his eyes before moving back. “Th-Thank you Arin, im so glad I have you as a friend.”

Arin smiles at him “I’m glad I have you too Dan.” Looking down, he notices Dan is still fairly hard and maybe getting harder actually. “Do you uh, want to finish up or…?” He asks jokingly, getting hard himself at the sight of it.

Dans blush returns and he stutters slightly “Ohh u-uhh, I can um do that in the bathroom I guess.” He says, starting to stand up. Before he gets up, Arin grabs his arm to stop him.

“Y-You can do it here.” Arin says letting go and looking down. “Can umm, can I join you?”

At this point, both their faces are bright red and their cocks are also rock hard. “Y-Yeah, totally dude.” Dan says, Sutton back down with his cock sitting straight up. “You’ll uhh, want to take your pants off first” Dan says, his right hand placed close to his junk.

“O-Ohh, right dude” Arin says, gripping his sweat pants and pulling them down to reveal his thick and throbbing cock. While it’s an inch shorter than Dan’s, it easily has more girth to it.

With both of them naked from the waist down, Arin grips his dick and starts to stroke it with his left hard. This leads to Danny doing the same with his right, both of them showing off for the other person.

They continue to strike for what felt like minutes, both of their cocks throbbing and dropping out precum already. Dan let’s out a soft moan, leading Arin to do the same. After that, they stopped holding them back and the whole room is filled with the sounds of their moans and their wet stroking.

Dans toes curl up with pleasure as he almost cums, he pauses for a moment to hold it and edge himself. Arin can’t help but watch which leads to him jerking off even harder. “D-Danny? Can I, touch you?” Arin asks him, his face flustered from the intimacy of what’s going on.

Dan nods and answers between pants. “I-If I can do the same, then Yes”

With that, they both reach out and grab hold of each other’s dicks. They turn their bodies to make it easier, but also so they can stare right at their friends cock while they’re jerking each other off together.

After seeing Danny edge himself, Arin takes it easy on him at first, but Danny isn’t holding back. His hand is moving rapidly, almost like it’s running purely on his lust. This makes Arin’s moans to become even louder and his cock constantly leaks out precum like Danny.

“F-Fuck Danny, I’m getting so close~” Arin pants out, his legs tending as he tries to hold it.

“M-Me Too! Fuck, I’m cumming” Danny says, barely able to hold onto it any longer.

At the same time, they let go of each other’s cocks and jerk off themselves. And then they both cum, Hard. Spraying their thick ropes of cum across the couch at eachother, their cocks slicked and coated in a mixture of their cum and filling the room with the rich scent.

Both Danny and Arin sit back, panting in the afterglow as they wrap their heads around what happened.

“So, um I guess, if you need a hand Danny, let me know next time~” Arin says to him smiling, wiping the sweat off his brow.

“Heh, you uh, you too man.” Danny answers, smiling back to him and moving his hair out of his face.

Seems like the Grump Room needs to be cleaned, but they handle that after another round later~

#my writing #woof that's a good request #Thank you dude!!#hope it turned out okay #polygrumps #egobang

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pug-lover-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Yoga is the way forward

For the last 2 months as hard as it initially was I joined a local gym. Most studies around mental health promote exercising regularly as it releases endorphins (feel good hormone). In 2014 I was bit by the exercise bug and loved going to classes. That was until I found other members being rude and just dam mean towards myself and other members. This just put me off and I didn’t go again. Despite feeling and looking the best shape of my life.

With this niggling in the back of my mind, and encouragement of my other half I decided to join a different gym. A taster day really helped me to get a feel for the place.

I started off with a yoga class and a fantastic instructor called Steve. He introduced himself to me and made me feel really welcome.

During the first few weeks I felt unfit, weak and just ashamed of how pathetic my practice was compared to people in their 60s. My inner thoughts were to give up. My inner dialogue is so negative and I put myself down continually. I am my own worst enemy!

I decided to talk to myself more positively and try to silence my inner critic as much as possible. I thought to myself ‘you’ve got to start somewhere and it will take time to see a difference. Stop comparing yourself to there person you were in 2014. You didn’t start off like that and like before you’ve got to work to get it back.’

It is only this week I can feel and see a difference in my yoga. I am getting more flexible and stronger in some poses. This works wonders for my inner dialogue now. It’s become addictive as I now want to do more and get better.

Since being off work I have put on over 2 stone and I feel fat and flabby. It disgusts me. I’ve stopped buying clothes and refuse to buy bigger as I really want to shift the fat. Comfort eating at night is my downfall. I’m not sure if it’s the meds I’m on for my depression but it’s so difficult to stop eating my treats.

My body hasn’t changed since I’ve started yoga but I do feel better in my mind. It’s like I can stop the thoughts running around in my head for at least an hour. It’s impacted upon the rest of my life as I feel calmer through the day.

I’ve also started spinning which I never wished to do but I’ve got to admit it is fun! Im hoping this will help to shift some of the excess weight. It’s tough at times but again it stops this inner dialogue for a brief period of time. It’s like a relief! All I can think of is to breathe haha.

My advice to those of you who suffer with mental health issues is to try yoga. Pluck up the courage to go to a class and try to say at least one word to someone new each time you go. That’s what I do every time I go to a class. This will help to break up the periods of loneliness during the day and instruct you properly. It will take a little time to see/ feel the difference but stick with it. You won’t regret it.

My new mantra in life is ‘do what feeds your soul’ ☺️

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chokememrstark · 6 years

Text

Requiem Of Memories // Part 10

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2434 (Chapter 10 / 15)

Fic Summary: After their kiss, Sam feels very strange and goes to sleep. Still, he returns to Lucifer during the night and they have a rather interesting and nice chat. He can't help but wanting to be near Lucifer it seems.

angst, hurt & comfort, alternative universe, au!lucifer, mourning, depression, blood and gore, nightmares, loneliness

Note: I highly recommend to read Nightmares Become Reality before this, otherwise the premise of the story and the setting might not make much sense.

Tagging: @shebahda @sassysupernaturalsweetheart @spnyoucantkeepmedown @brieflymaximumprincess @kajuned @archingangel @this-darkness-light @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway @humongouscandycoffee

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

It felt like an eternity that they kissed, but for Sam it couldn’t have been long enough, especially when Lucifer relaxed and actually kissed him back. For this short period of time, Sam felt like crying from the sheer intensity of emotions. There was something so painfully familiar about their touch that Sam’s heart ached when Lucifer eventually pulled away. It was like he lost something precious that he might never get back.

For two whole minutes the two simply looked at each other, Lucifer visibly shocked from what had just happened between them. The longer Sam looked at him, the more he succumbed to the creeping up horror and fear inside of him. His face felt incredibly hot while the rest of his body was freezing cold and his chest tightened so much that he could barely breathe.

“I’m so sorry, oh god....” even Sam’s voice was just a shadow of itself, crackling and pleading desperately. “I didn’t… I mean I did, but I didn’t mean to… I…”

“Sam, breathe,” Lucifer said forcibly calm. “It’s all good, really.”

“No… no no no!” Sam gasped breathlessly. “I… I shouldn’t have done that! I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I didn’t think at all… that was so uncalled for!”

“You didn’t stab me, Sam.” This time, Lucifer sounded much calmer and even smiled at the hunter softly. “It was a kiss, not attempted murder.”

“But it wasn’t right !” Sam insisted, running a hand through his hair desperately. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. How could this have happened? And why now, in this completely impossible situation? Sam felt so awful he thought he would throw up at any given moment.

“It’s all good, I promise,” Lucifer assured the brunet and laid a hand on his cheek. Sam looked up almost panicking, his eyes wild and wide and completely out of himself. Lucifer’s expression softened when he looked at him. “Maybe it’s the blood loss, but that was actually very nice. I already feel a bit better now. Apparently your saying to ‘kiss it better’ actually works.”

Sam could feel his heartbeat in his ears, his hands tingling and as much as he tried to concentrate, the humming sound in his head was overwhelming. A part of him wanted to kiss Lucifer again, but another part wanted to run away as fast as he could and hide in a hole somewhere for the rest of his life. This was surely the most embarrassing thing he had ever done in his life.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Lucifer continued, his thumb gently stroking over the stubbled skin on Sam’s cheek. “You had a very eventful and rough day, maybe it’s best if you go to bed now.”

In lack of a verbal response, Sam just nodded. He could barely fight the urge to lean into Lucifer’s touch and it got more and more difficult with each passing second. When Lucifer stood up, Sam followed him immediately, the angel’s hand still on his cheek and his eyes still looking into Sam’s own, making it unable for the hunter to break eye contact. He could have stayed like this for the rest of his life and he wouldn’t have complained, even if the mere thought was hideous.

“You were really amazing today,” Lucifer said and, much to Sam’s surprise, leaned forward for another kiss. It was short and gentle, almost like a piece of satin brushing over Sam’s lips, but it had a very similar effect as the first. Sam’s knees became weak and he only managed to support himself by holding onto the other’s arm. He hadn’t felt like this in so many years, he couldn’t understand what was going on. When Lucifer broke the kiss, a faint smile decorated his lips. “Go and get some rest, we can talk tomorrow if you want to.”

Sam couldn’t answer. Again he was reduced to a weak nod when Lucifer retreated his hand. For a moment he wished that the angel wouldn’t go, that he would stay with him and that they’d talk now, but he knew this was a bad idea. He was exhausted and conflicted, his shaking hands alone were proof for that. So, instead of asking Lucifer to stay, as his first urge had been, he walked over to the bed and laid down.

Despite not thinking he would find any rest for a long time, Sam was out within a few minutes already. In the end, it had been a rough day, even if he wanted to deny it. Between the worry about Lucifer and their kiss, he had also met this world’s version of Meg and probably lost some of his mind on the way too, while he was at it. After all, he had just kissed Lucifer! Lucifer, the literal freaking Devil of this world and the reason it was in ruins. And still, it had felt so amazing, hadn’t it? Sam couldn’t explain why he felt so much bliss during the short touch of their lips, or even more when Lucifer had done it again . He should feel scared and awful, but he didn’t.

Sam fell asleep, but his mind couldn’t forget what had happened before during the whole time. He kept thinking, kept wondering what had happened that he suddenly felt the urge to do something stupid like this. Maybe it was just his sheer exhaustion and unstable state in the end, it could be. But why did it feel so good then? Was he really so lonely that he did something like this just to feel a little better? Or was he so relieved that Lucifer would survive and so touched by his words that he forgot everything else around them? When Sam woke up a few hours later, he still had no answer. His head hurt and he still had a hot knot in his stomach that made him want to scream, but he didn’t know what on earth had gotten into him to do something like this.

After laying there and staring at the ceiling for a few minutes - which was difficult because it was still dark outside - Sam slid off the bed. He stood there for a whole five minutes to decide what to do next and what he came to do was probably even crazier than their kiss. For the first time since he was here, Sam walked over to the door that Lucifer had said led to his own bedroom and knocked on it. There was no reaction at first and Sam was about to give up already when a faint ‘Come in!’ reached his ears. Slowly he pushed the door open and peeked into the room.

“Lucifer?” Sam knew he acted very intrusive right now, but he couldn’t help it. “Is everything okay? Do you need something?”

It took a moment before the darkness was lightened up by a lamp next to the bed, but when it did, Sam saw Lucifer sitting on it and looking at him.

“I am fine, thank you,” Lucifer said with a warm smile. “What about you? Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah, a little,” Sam awkwardly scratched his neck and looked up. “Hey, can we talk for a moment? I mean, if you have time of course.”

“I always have time for you, Sam;” Lucifer said and patted on the big spot next to him on the bed. “Come inside. I hope you’re not surprised, this room isn’t very luxurious sadly.”

Sam nodded and followed Lucifer’s invitation. He didn’t bother to look around much, even though he noticed that the room was indeed rather shabby and empty.

“About last night,” Sam began when he sat down, sighing deeply. “I’m sorry, really. I shouldn’t have kissed you, that was very inappropriate and rude.”

“I told you already that it’s okay and I meant it,” Lucifer insisted, still smiling. “You forgot yourself for a moment, nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I know, but I shouldn’t have done this.” Sam shook his head. “I don’t know what got into me, it just… happened.”

“And?” Lucifer asked, drawing Sam’s gaze up to him. “You could have done worse, Sam. What you did was worry about my health and you did everything in your power to help me, which I am very thankful for.”

“And I kissed you without your consent.”

“So did I after that,” Lucifer smirked. “We’re even. And now stop blaming yourself for every step you make, it’s not going to help you in any way.”

Sam smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was glad that Lucifer wasn’t mad at him, but how could he stop being mad at himself for doing something stupid like this? It wasn’t as if this had been the first time, really, and all because of some flowery and charming words?

“In case you are worrying,” Lucifer continued after a moment of silence. “You are a good kisser, so I won’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

“You… what?” Sam’s voice died in his throat and he felt his cheeks becoming hot again.

“I think you heard me,” Lucifer chuckled. “It’s all good, I am not mad at you and I am glad you were here to help me when I came back. This fight was awful and I don’t know if I would have made it if it weren’t for you tending to my wounds.”

“But… you’re an archangel,” Sam mumbled, a little confused. “Couldn’t you have just… healed yourself?”

“Of course,” Lucifer smiled. “But even an archangel can have a hard time recovering when they were attacked by three dozen angels at the same time. Our power is like a battery and if we use too much of it, we have to recharge.”

That made sense, but it was hard to believe for Sam that he had actually helped Lucifer. Maybe he assisted him a little, but he had freaked out basically while doing it.

“I’m glad you are okay now,” Sam eventually said, looking down at his hands. “Meg was really worried too.”

“Ah yes, Meg.” Lucifer leaned back into his pillow. “She’s a very loyal one, but a little reckless at times. I hope she wasn’t too mean to you.”

“No,” Sam quickly shook his head. “She was actually rather nice! I mean, after a while. Just like our Meg, kinda…”

“Your Meg?” Lucifer asked and Sam turned around with a smile.

“Are you that surprised?” he asked. “I mean, she was different and all, but their personalities are rather similar.”

“So, your Meg is a little annoying demon too?”

Sam had to laugh at this, as it was a kind of fitting description of the Meg he had known. The most fitting part being annoying, especially when she had possessed him.

“She was… unique,” he eventually answered. “At first she was really nasty and even possessed me, but she… kind of turned? I don’t know why, but she changed. After the apocalypse she was different.”

“What happened?” Lucifer wanted to know amused. “Maybe I can use it to help with mine too.”

Sam’s gaze turned a little sadder and his smile vanished.

“It ended,” he simply said. “She was on our Lucifer’s side when the apocalypse was going on, that didn’t help her after we jumped. Another demon took over hell and everyone who was loyal to Lucifer had a very bad time after that.”

“She’s very loyal indeed,” Lucifer said. “Mine is too. She can be annoying, but she is still young. Out of all my demons, she is the one who stayed most human.”

“Why that? Do you have any idea?”

“I assume you know how demons become demons? Souls being tortured and corrupted in hell, the whole ordeal?”

“Yeah, I heard of it,” Sam huffed.

“Well, Meg wasn’t like that. She died when she was only eighteen, suicide.” Lucifer shrugged at Sam’s surprised glare. “She didn’t even get tortured much. It only took a week until she changed and became a demon. I think that’s why she is still very human inside, there was not enough punishment to fully get rid of it.”

“Wow, that would answer some questions,” Sam mumbled. “Our Meg was able to show compassion by the end.”

“Yes, she can do that here too. But mostly it’s directed at me, don’t ask why. I have no idea.” Lucifer laughed awkwardly, something that made Sam’s stomach tingle slightly. “She’s a good one though, very reliable and strong.”

“She’s nice, yeah,” Sam smirked. “I like her.”

“I think you’re the first human she likes too, in a long time at least,” Lucifer nodded. “She told me what you told her about my other demons too, how they treat you.”

“Oh,” Sam’s face flushed even worse than before now. “I… I didn’t mean to complain or anything, really. It just came up…”

“No, it’s okay,” Lucifer raised a hand to prevent Sam from interrupting. “I’m glad I know and it will not happen again. You are not a threat, you are not a spy either. You are my guest and they will treat you with respect or suffer the consequences. My home is yours now, Sam.” Lucifer gave the hunter the most affectionate and gentle smile he had seen until now. It made his whole body feel warm somehow. “No harm will come to you here and this is not their decision, it’s mine and mine alone.”

“I’m flattered,” Sam said honestly. He was a little embarrassed, but that Lucifer actually cared for this matter was very moving. The angel was full of surprises it seemed, but most of them turned out to be very nice ones in the end.

“I am very content with you being here, Sam,” Lucifer suddenly said, which pulled Sam out of the strange mesmerized state that he had slipped into. “You are special and you are unique to this dying world and having you by my side is a new experience that I enjoy very much.”

“But, I’m just me…” Sam muttered.

“And ‘just you’ is what this world has never seen before - what I have never seen before,” Lucifer smiled. “You told me you were never born in this world and now look what it has come to. Your world is different, you saved it countless of times. Your world is alive because of you.”

Sam had never thought about it this way before, after all it was very narcissistic to claim that he was the savior of the world and mankind. The world wasn’t alive because of him, or not?

#samifer #sam x lucifer #sam winchester #spn lucifer #requiem of memories #multi chapter fic #myfics #chapter 10 #angst #this one is rather fluffy tho #kinda XD

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