- Blood and Chocolate -

A vampy eddie smut fic

warnings: a long story of absolute filthy shamless smut with chocolate syrup. because i'm a whore for vamp eddie..... i seriously need to get laid or something. 🤣

A/n: eddie gif by @illhumor

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room was dark as I entered, an atmosphere created by a faded orange yellow hue. Decorated with a couple of fake torches that were lit and in the middle of the room stood a large, dark wooden table surrounded by wooden chairs that were currently occupied by Erica and the guys At the head of the table was a throne, and with one glance, I saw the very person I was looking for…… My favorite bloodsucker Dungeon master.

His eyes were on me the moment I walked in. He tried to hide his grin when I decided to take my place on my “throne” that was next to his. That's when the rest of the party finally noticed me. I mouthed “don't mind me” to them as they gave me small waves and smiles.

I never really played with them, It was actually more entertaining to me to listen to them play. Mostly because of Eddie, the way he always made the story come to life was always mesmerizing, with all the effort he put into various characters and the range of voices he had for them. I always found myself on the edge of my seat, wanting to know what was going to happen next. Sometimes, I also couldn’t help getting turned on by him being in his element, and he knew that.

*hour later*

I was thoroughly engrossed in some homework that I decided to quietly do while everyone was bickering about what plan they should do to destroy Acererak, i trying to distract myself from being hot and bothered by Eddie's voice. when all of a sudden Eddies' ringed right hand came into my field of vision, holding the d20.

“Wanna roll it for me, baby?” he grins down at me. I grin back at him, taking the dice from him. Standing in front of him, his hands on my hips. I could feel how hard he was because I knew he could smell my arousal soon as he started the campaign.

“You got this kitten.” he whispers in my ear, smirking when I hear my pet name fall from his lips as I roll the dice in my hand. Everyone held their breath when I released it from my grasp, time slowed as it rolled across the table, and then it suddenly rolled right on a 20. 

“CRIT HIT!” Erica screamed, and everyone joined the chaos. Turning towards Eddie, I lunched myself at him arms wrapped around his neck. He caught me as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, spinning me around, causing me to giggle. Setting me down, I pulled down his head to give him a passionate kiss. Who knew playing DnD could be a major turn-on? 

“I got a surprise at home for you.” I mumbled lightly into his lips for only him to hear. I could feel him smirk against my lips. Voices from the party went from cheering to “gross”, “get a room guys” and gagging. We laughed apart.

“Sorry guys” I giggled.

*hours later*

Cold hands slithered over sweat-damp skin. Eddie slid his tongue up my chocolate syrup covered neck, and the wetness from his tongue leaves a trail of fire behind. Biting my skin, he sucked the blood he drew with his fangs. He groaned at the taste of both blood and chocolate, which flooded his mouth. he moves up to my jaw line. pausing over my earlobe, where he gently nibbles. Causing me to moan louder, my fingers roughly clutch his long, dark brown hair. He pulls away from me.

“Hm kitten~ be a good girl and behave.”

I whined as His hands automatically found my thighs, running them up and down my soft skin. He lifted me onto the kitchen counter, I leaned down to kiss him, and a soft growl rolled out of his lips as he leaned up, capturing my lips with equal vigor. The press of lips transformed into something more deep, tongues dancing around one another as our breaths mingled together. I leaned back with a gasp and licked my lips that were now covered in my blood and chocolate. 

spreading my legs more so he could scoot closer between them. He placed his forehead on mine.

“As much as i loved my chocolate covered strawberries, you're definitely a better snack”  he licks my mouth clean, "so delicious"

We both shared a laugh, I could stare at him for hours and loved the way he looked with chocolate and blood running down his slightly toned chest. His blown out crimson eyes on mine, his wild brown hair framed his face perfectly, his glistening red tinted fangs grinning at me. He was a work of art sculpted by Michelangelo himself, and he was mine. i wanted to lick him clean. He poured more chocolate syrup on me. It dripped down my body.

His mouth instantly attached itself to me again. Working his way down my throat and chest. He teased each nipple until it hardened, slowly increasing the pressure. Arching my back, eyes closed, I pressed my skin against his lips. Slowly, ever so slowly, he grazes his fangs across my nipples, drawing beads of blood from the sensitive skin. He lapped the drops from my chocolate covered skin over and over.

Down and down, he moved, licking, sucking, mapping inch after inch of my skin. When his breath ghosted over my core, I whimpered.my legs spread wider. 

"Please." I breathed. 

He attached his lips to my clit, tongue lapped my insides, fangs scraped my folds as his nose was buried in soft h/c hair. Two ringed fingers thrusted into me, causing me to let out a choked moan. Fangs dug into my inner thigh. Fingers pumped in and out, until he found his favorite spot that was within me.  opening my legs Wider, exposing myself as much as I could.

“D-Daddy” I whined. When I reached the edge, he pulled out his fingers, and my release splashed all over his face. As I tried to regain myself, he raised himself, licking his lips clean.

“That good kitten?” he smirked. I pulled him down, capturing his lips with mine. Tasting myself, I groaned. 

“Let me return a favor.” I bite his lip, causing him to growl. Unsteadly, i jumped off the counter and kneeled in front of him. 

He watched me as I eyed his cock like was about to eat a candy cane. A chocolate covered candy cane. He was about to say something until he felt the chocolate syrup being poured on him and my lips encasing the tip of his cock, the words died in his throat. 

“S-shit… kitten”

 I just hummed, and he let out a groan. my tongue swirled around the tip, gathering as much precum and chocolate as I could before I started to swallow more around him. What I couldn't fully take into my mouth was working on with my fingers, wrapping a hand around his base while the other one was fondling his balls. He let out a long, throaty moan. His hands clasped the counter tightly above me.

I looked up from under my thick lashes and smiled, humming before I started bobbing my head in a steady rhythm. I clenched my thighs together, feeling the steady pulse of my pussy as I pleased my beloved vampire. His moans became breathless - sounded like he was close. I pushed the flat of my tongue against the underside of his cock, pressing against his thick vein as I sucked and moved my head up and down. His hands found my head, burying them into my h/c strands as he encouraged me to go on. He could feel his release approach fast.

 his head lolled back as he let out another throaty moan, his voice hoarse, and the burning sensation in his whole body made him wonder if he wasn't in flames or anything. He could feel himself tremble and moan my name… he was close.

 “fuck” y/n, kitten… M’close.”

 I  just hummed again, and he came down my throat. I moaned a little surprised but eagerly slurped everything up that he would give me. cleaning him up with my tongue, panting for air as i opened my mouth, showing him that i indeed swallowed every last drop of him. A low possessive growl left his throat as he grabbed her jaw and leaned down to capture me into a deep kiss, tasting himself on my tongue. tongues twirled around each other, fighting for dominance before I caved in, and he had full access, ravishing my mouth. 

“That good, Daddy?” micking him from earlier.

 “Jump!” He growled. I jumped, and he easily caught my thick thighs as I wrapped them around his waist.

“kitten” He purred, his face nuzzling into my hair.  

“Eddie Please… I need you!” I moaned.

He hummed as he made his way to our bedroom. But not before he grabbed the bottle of syrup. Laying me down on the bed, he leaned up and poured the rest of the syrup on the both of us before he hovered over me. breaching my entrance before he sunk into my welcoming heat, my velvet walls hugging him close as he rolled his hips, steadily sinking into me.

 “Fuck… You’re so fuck’n tight, kitten” He moaned, i was a mewling mess underneath him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to kiss him, which he happily obliged to. He caged my head with his arms as he kissed me, taking his sweet time to do so. I gasped for air, and we moaned in unison as he bottomed out in me.

“Son of a bitch…” he growled. I could feel him twitch as I squeezed around him, urging him to move.

 “Move p-please”

 He watched me hungrily. His once crimson eyes were now completely swallowed by the dark of his pupils. Predatory. I felt exposed and wanted at the same time. I moaned and wiggled my hips, again trying to coax him to finally move. He groaned and retreated almost completely. When I was about to protest, he snapped his hips back into my aching pussy… hard. Screaming loudly, smirking.

“Mine” he growls “this… belongs to me forever.”

I nodded, unable to form coherent words at the moment. I absolutely loved it when he got this possessive. I moaned into his neck, licking up some syrup in the process. 

Eddie started to pull back again, snapping his hips back into my welcoming heat, my warm walls hugging him all so nicely, pulling him in. He groaned my name, pushing inside of me again, a quick and brutal pace, which made the bed groan with the amount of force he pushed into me. my eyes rolled back as I panted and moaned helplessly. I could feel him everywhere, pushing and pushing against my sensitive spots deep inside. I bit his neck hard, not being able to draw blood. He let out a loud growl at the sensation. The growl rumbled his chest. He took my chin and roughly moved to the side. My neck was presented to him, and he bit me immediately. His fangs were painful but pleasurable as he pounded into me. 

There was a burning sensation in my abdomen. I felt like my world was spinning from the loss of blood, an almost animalistic instinct to be prey for the predator on top of me. Normally, he was not this aggressive, only sometimes when I begged him. But this time? He wanted this himself, feeling like this was the only way he could actually get relief. I wasn't scared of him. He knew my limit. He detached his fangs from my neck when he felt me go limp a little.  

 “Such a good girl, so nice and delicious”

He could feel me squeeze around him. He smiled, I was letting him know that I was still with him. looking at me in my glazed over eyes. He kisses my face gently. 

I lazily held my legs up. The new position gave him a new angle, hitting my sweet spot deep inside of me with precision. I could feel my eyes roll back once more as I moaned helplessly. I could feel the hot lava in my abdomen pool as he continued to penetrate my pussy in all the good ways.

 “D-daddy! P-please”

 “Shh, kitten, It’s alright”

He pounded into me, my moans spurning him on as he felt that knot tighten steadily. he could feel my legs twitch and quiver against his waist, and he could feel himself getting closer to the edge as well, his hips started to sputter in their rhythm a little as he moaned.

"That's it, Kitten, Cum for me.” I squeezed around him cumming as soon as he gave me permission. his breath came out more erratic as he finally stumbled over the edge as well. He moaned my name as he felt himself cum inside of me, filling me up. we were panting when we slowly came down from our high, still joined together. 

“You just fucked the life out of me.” I gave a breathy chuckle.

 “That's not funny, i thought i went overboard this time sucking your blood” he frowns a little.

 “I love you” I sighed as I reached up to touch his face.

“I love you too.” He answered with a soft chuckle, the effect finally wearing a bit down again. He pulled out, staring at his cum that slowly dripped out of my spent pussy. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

“I'm ok baby, I promise. Also, happy one year anniversary." I grin up at him. i finally regained my breath and strength.

“Happy anniversary, baby girl. ready for round two in the shower?” he grins back at me.  

"Most definitely." i say quickly, trying to race to the bathroom with wobbly legs. causing him to chuckle after me.

Masterlist

2023

Will you make vampire Eddie Munson gifs or just photos?

No. I don't think so. It was hard enough editing a still photo let alone twenty to thirty individual frames. @illhumor made some amazing Eddie Munson vampire gifs though :)

ir·ri·ta·ble  [’irədəb(ə)l] ADJECTIVE

having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed or made angry:  irritable

SIMILAR: bad tempered  irascible tetchy testy touchy scratchy grumpy grouchy moody crotchety   cantankerous curmudgeonly ill-tempered ill-natured                  illhumored peevish cross fractious disagreeable pettish crabbed crabby waspish prickly peppery crusty splenetic shrewish short-tempered        hot-tempered quick-tempered dyspeptic choleric bilious liverish cross-grained in a (bad) mood having gotten up on the wrong side of the bed   as cross as two sticks

#1 Flies, Irritants, What Ticks You Off? (rate this sermon) | 1,912 views

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Jun 27, 2020

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 10:1, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Philippians 4:11-13

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Summary: Do little things tick you off? What irritates you will tell a lot about you. This is part one, I use a fly swatter and rubber flies. We will address dead flies in the ointment in#1 and #2.

# 1 IRRITATION, SHOW ME WHAT TICKS YOU OFF?

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By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. [email protected] (Two parts)

I have a fly swatter and I am constantly swinging it to the point of frustration. I also have several rubber flies.

I would like to thank Phil Walton for the fodder for this lesson. Thank you Phil.

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND OUT HOW IRRITATING AND FRUSTRATING A FLY CAN BE?

FLY: a two winged, six legged insect. Goes through complete metamorphosis, egg, larva (maggot, will eat on anything), adult fly. Flies often travel in groups we call: SWARMS. * Irritate: aggravation, frustration, causing trouble, difficult, to provoke impatience, anger or to displease; annoy, bother, bug, often by repeated acts, quick brief attacks, source of vexation, nuisance.

Ecclesiastes 10:1 Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour. (To be addressed in part #2)

YOU DON’T KNOW HOW BAD LIFE CAN BE? I HAVE A ROUGH TIME? THE DEVIL IS ALWAYS ON MY BACK? LIFE AT BEST IS LUMPY?

HEY, ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD DAY? Me: A GOOD DAY? What shall I say? I have a FLY SWATTER in my hand. These flies are a BIG IRRITATION TO ME? Swing the fly swatter? Get away from me you stupid fly! Swing the fly swatter? Good day? How can I have a good day with all these little irritations? Swing the fly swatter? LITTLE FLIES CAUSE ME TO LOSE MY FOCUS ON WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON? Swing the fly swatter? These little flies are such an IRRITATION? Swing the fly swatter? HOW CAN I HAVE A GOOD DAY WITH THESE CONSTANT LITTLE IRRITATIONS? IN MY BATTLE OF AGGRAVATION I FACE WITH THE FLIES, I LOSE MY PERSPECTIVE?

2 Corinthians 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME? AM I FOCUSING ON MY LITTLE AGGRAVATIONS AND IRRITATIONS? IS THIS FLY MY REAL PROBLEM? Is this an external or internal problem? HAVING A GOOD DAY? The flies are stealing my internal joy?

Am I focusing on the TEMPORAL or on the ETERNAL? FOR OUR AFFLICTIONS ARE LIGHT?

Wait a minute, what about the 2 hour wait for the oil change? $54? The yellow engine light came on… What about the $378 Chevy repair? I didn’t even know I had intake and exhaust CAMSHAFT SOLENOIDS? By the way, do you think I made God mad and he is punishing me? BY THE WAY, ARE WE FOCUSING WRONG? WHAT WE SEE AS A HUGE PROBLEM MAKES US THINK WE WILL JUST THROW IN THE TOWEL AND QUIT? IS THIS A QUITTING PROBLEM? OR IS THIS A LIGHT AFFLICTION? IS THIS A FLY IRRITATING ME? OR IS THIS A REAL PROBLEM? Show me what ticks you off and I will tell you what makes you tick!

AM I HAVING A GOOD DAY? LET US ASK PAUL IF LIFE CAN BECOME LUMPY? HOW ABOUT FLIES? IS THIS AN IRRITATION OR A BIG PROBLEM? PAUL EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCES IN IRRITANTS AND REAL PROBLEMS… LISTEN TO REAL PROBLEMS?

2 Corinthians 11:23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. 24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.

25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

PAUL HAVE YOU FACED THEM IRRITATING BITING FLIES?

• 1. Beaten with many stripes. 2. Locked up prison.

• 3. Left for death. 4. 235 stripes with a whip.

• 5. 3 times beat with a rod. 6. Stoned to death.

• 7. 3 times ship wrecked. 8. Almost drowned.

• 9. Robbed by cruel men. 10. In trouble by my own.

• 11. In trouble by heathen and strangers. 12. In perils in the wilderness.

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Scriptures: 1 Peter 4:12, 2 Corinthians 11:23, 2 Corinthians 4:16, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Acts 9:15, Ecclesiastes 10:1, James 1:2, Philippians 4:11, Philippians 4:11-13, Psalm 118:24

"girl boss, hot girl summer, besties", and other equally painfully unfunny millennial phrases are here by banned and I will block all accounts I see use them from now on.

Seriously, millennials, give up. None of you are fun to and please for the love of fucking good stop attempting to be.

Villain: Kaddric the Heedless, King of Empty Coffers

(This is part of a multi-post adventure prompt, to get the whole story, click HERE) 

Setup:  The madman was never supposed to take the crown. Brought out of exile to put an end to a succession crisis, the last sovereign's son has an avaricious lust for wealth and prestige, and little love for the people his office holds him to protect. 

Seemingly obsessed with bleeding every last drop of value from his new domain, there is no avenue of exploitation that the Empty-coffer King won’t pursue: Confiscating communal lands and noble estates before sending indentured surfs to stripmine any resources that might enrich the royal treasury, burring settlements and merchants under needless taxes , and enforcing his will through the use of private mercenary armies drawn by the promise of his bottomless vaults. 

Kaddric plunders his own land worse than any invading army, and it’s up to the players to mount a rebellion against this gold-glorifying tyrant and kick his avaricious ass off the throne. 

Adventure Hooks:

When a vein of silver is discovered on the lands belonging to one of the players or their patrons, a cadre of Kaddric’s flunkies and their mercenary escort show up not long after to contest ownership. While negotiations dragon painfully slowly, the party realizes that the king’s agents are surreptitiously looking for ways to oust them from their land, vacating their claim and allowing it to be taken into royal possession. 

The party is made up out of outlaws, those who had their family swept away to access their vaults, or who fled from their village as Kaddric’s pressgangs circled offering only enslavement or the noose. Together with their allies and a few would-be masterminds they’ve assembled the seeds of a conspiracy that may one day overthrow the tyrant. As their first true meeting is raided by the King’s enforcers, the conspirators scatter, leaving the party to find allies in a realm turned against them. 

The king has come to town and he’s apparently brought a party with him? A rolling caravan of circuses, menageries, and theater troupes descends on the part’s home and turns the landscape into a labyrinth of excess. Formerly starving people gorge themselves on the finest meats and wine, all work ceases as the townsfolk disappear into distraction and indulgence, and Kaddric wanders the streets at the head of a mob of adorants: gold coins dripping from his fingers like drops of water. 

Based out of a neighboring kingdom to Kaddric’s and hearing only rumors of his crimes, the party learns the truth when an alchemist friend/patron of theirs is kidnapped and whisked off to the king’s dungeons. 

Background: 

A twitchy and illhumored youth, Kaddric was the least favored of five royal siblings and cousins to inherit the title of sovereign, a losing bet in a system intended to produce the most capable heir to lead the realm upon the retiring of their predecessor. Not wanting the increasingly unstable middle sibling to cause trouble, Kaddric’s royal parents sent him off to be “fostered” among the merchant princes of a friendly nearby republic.

Facing a succession crisis after a brutal war and ensuing sickness led to the death of both their sovereign and the expected heirs, the kingdom’s high council brought the sovereign's last remaining son out of exile.  However Malajusted and paranoid, and however little he cared for the responsibilities of his new position,  the new king has a wicked mind for logistics, overhauling the nation’s treasury and tax system and using this windfall of new funds to reequip the army and finally push the forces of invaders that had occupied the kingdom’s lands. 

This victory earned him enough goodwill to forestall any opposition as Kaddric went right on reforming, using his powers as a wartime king to smash any opposition and install agents loyal to himself in key positions. All in preparation for his eventual plundering. 

Goals: 

Get Even: at his burning core, Kaddric feels ashamed for being put aside. Paired with his bottomless greed is a desire for others to look upon him as someone worth recognition and praise. This drives him to spend lavishly on his court favorites, as well as financing works of art in his own honor. 

Get Rich: Among his many side projects, Kaddric is fond of interrogating alchemists on the nature of their art, especially those famed for being skilled enough to transmute base materials into gold. in his time abroad he learned of an artifact that is said to have such a power, and is willing to torture any number of scholars and sages for it’s supposed location. 

Get Out: Anyone with sense can see that Kaddric is squeezing his kingdom to death, that his slash and burn tactics will lead to total economic collapse, his head mounted on a rebel pike, or likely both. Their appraisal would be apt if Kaddrics end goal was being a good king... but it isn’t. After a few years of pillaging, Kaddric plants to abdicate, leave his homeland for the vultures, and return to the Republic of merchant princes with the wealth of a nation at his personal command. Already he plants his masterstroke: as his last act on the throne, he’ll offer up patches of lands he’s despoiled for the exploitation of the republican gentry. Slavemines and factories and workhouses, his sworn subjects sold off as chattel with a few strokes of the pen.  

From the first intense pulse of pain through his head, Madara knew he would regret waking up that morning. He groaned as he flopped a hand over the throbbing pulse in his skull, the rough noise hurting his apparently sore throat. Whatever he’d decided to drink the night before must have held some sort of poison, why else would the room be spinning before he’d even opened his eyes?

He managed to crack his eyes open, squinting up at the oddly beige ceiling as he tried to swallow the disgusting taste away from his mouth. Some flickers of memory told him he’d gone out drinking with Hashirama after all, despite his best efforts to remind himself of the meriad of reasons that it always ended up going horribly wrong.

At least they hadn’t been arrested this time.

His illhumored chuckle ended in a coughing wheeze, the beginnings of a cold if he knew his body well. It certainly did nothing to settle his rolling stomach, and he prayed to whatever god might take pity on him that he hadn’t eaten anything the night before. The last thing he wanted was to see it again so early in the morning.

One cracked eye rolled over to find a bedstand, the analogue clock hardly readable without his glasses on, but he finally managed to make out that it was well past noon. Well. So early in the afternoon, then.

He rolled over onto his right side, the position removing some of the strain of his nausea. It also made him realize that his pants were only half on - he blinked down at them under the covers, the jean material tight around his calves. Apparently they’d been too difficult to kick off in his drunken stupor; now he just didn’t feel like wasting the energy when he’d have to shuffle them back on later when he left for home.

Speaking of which... He dropped the quilt back down over himself, frowning at the bright floral pattern. At least he knew this wasn’t a hotel. No respectable business would use such god-awful bedding, certainly not if they wanted returning customers.

Had he went home with someone then? A quick check told him it was unlikely he’d gotten intimate with anyone (or, at the very least, he’d managed to clean up well afterwards), so that didn’t seem like a concern for now. He rolled over onto his back again, shifting his button up around to be more comfortable as he contemplated whether he could will the contents of his stomach still or not.

His hand drifted back up to rub at his temple, breaths purposely as even as possible. It was a stray ray of sunlight that finally called his attention to the band on his finger, and a whole minute of mental processing before he realized what it was.

A ring. There was a ring on his hand. A ring that looked scarily similar to the bands so many married couples toted around with them, flashing silver to signify their status together.

Why on earth would he have a wedding ring on his finger?

His answer came in a hellish flashback, sending him shooting out of the bed as quickly as his fumbling limbs would allow him.

“Hashirama!”

Once he found himself in a familiar hallway, it was easy enough to storm towards the bathroom, throwing the door open and letting it bang against the wall as if the sound alone didn’t make him want to puke. He found the idiot curled up and groaning, more green in the face than the precious garden he spent so many hours doting on.

“We’re married, you idiot!”

His horrified hissing was met with a pitiful moan that vaguely sounded like “I know”. It left his anger rising, his own nausea stubbornly forced to the side as he went over to shake the man who was apparently now his fucking husband!

“I didn’t agree to this!”

“Apparently-“ Hashirama paused and squeezed his eyes shut, taking several deep breaths through his nose before continuing- “apparently you did.”

That’s all he managed before he was bent back over and worshipping the porcelain gods once more, leaving Madara to sit behind him and hold his hair. He scowled at Hashirama’s back even as he leaned over to grab a towel, searching his memory for any information on how long one had to be married before it could be annulled.

“I’m never drinking with you again.”

Hashirama accepted the towel with a shaky smile, leaning back against Madara once he’d tossed it to the side. “Come on, husband. Don’t say that. Not like next time could be any worse, right?”

“Plenty worse could happen!” As soon as he’d snipped the words out, Madara regretted them with a loud groan, averting his eyes away from the big brown ones now glistening up at him.

“You really mean that? Awww, Maddy!”

It took considerable effort to keep the idiot at bay, the imbecile showing insane strength and determination to crush him even while hungover. In the end Madara gave up with much huffing and puffing, stiff in the embrace and verbally taking back his words and vowing that being married to Hashirama was the absolute worst fate anyone could ever face.

His complaints went ignored, and Madara was left dealing with a blubbering mess for the rest of the afternoon while his own stomach settled. At the very least, he knew he was lying. There were a lot worse fates than waking up being married to one’s best friend.

Ko-Fi || Commissions

🎅For those of us joining in on Christmas eve activities.. Inappropriate humor is on deck!😄 It's #tradition #christmas #illhumor (at South Dakota)

DropLickSpeaks (C) @droplicktwotwos ‘In society such as ours it is unusual for anyone describable as an intellectual to feel a very deep attachment to his or her country.’ George Orwell On Nationalism ...DropLick asks questions mostly, as after getting off the night bus it’s enough, the sounds of the road, the people, market vendors shouting out pound a pineapple is all well & good but death to the thought of a lack of freedom... candles up thinking the wet cookie sat on the countertop, after work, what is work in the Marxist way..? a way to get money, a way to do something that keeps the mind and body active, but wet cookies are not tasty... a log cabin ...interfering with the needed melancholy, a sweet feeling, is that of too much... saccharine thoughts swing up against the taste of illogical and illhumorous ways... can you believe in people..? answers that see ...no you can’t... people, and most of them, barring the Tranquillo guy, the Homerton massive Rapper & a few others, but the rest of you are full of shit... a desire is responded with one hand on your genitals, donuts sugar rustling on your necks, deceit on your tongue... never go to Leeds... ...cowards spring up and lull the deficiency of their own hearts & are always made more brave after the time, DropLick says just move on, perhaps Brighton, Ivalo Finland... Home isn’t where the Heart is... ... in your heart that’s the only place that springs a sort of happening, delicious accounts of experience are sung from here... you may end up at Quintana Rue, or relaxing on a Nightbus not bothering anyone... taking in the sights... ...a lady in pink slippers walking to escape the light drizzle, an elderly man with a black & grey visor walking along mumbling about those pesky bacon hating lunatics, a jogger that is also holding a folder with the words JH Law, a man in a wine dark red hoodied jacket speaking about how Rushdie’s novels aren’t as good as Amis’ Money but that the latest ones are fascinating, a lady holding a bright orange book looks around as if she’s in a Crime Novel, a scarf with bits of yellow and cream coloured brown is removed from an LV bag, a jogger in Saucony steams past, two women walk past chit chattering about wanting to give a guy one on top of him, which causes both to laugh in a sinister fashion... Here We Are ...after leaving, illusions of produce start to enliven a feeling... somebody needs to work, somebody needs to make things occur... the land & it’s flowers are the world’s only real matters... would I miss Big Brother..? this is a photo of the answer Quintessential Elements of Straight Talk ...be about it, but rather than nostalgic analysis of things peruse the day as if an Album or painting... a commute an opportunity, each meal you try and pay for a success, your milk in which you drink everyday a miracle not to be taken for granted but savoured... ...why sit on your wet bottom..? ...with sauce dripping on your naked torso, neck, nipple is this really the right time to be taking images..? ...can you trust someone, as I once heard on Subway Carriage, I want to try and eat with my mouth closed... how stupid can a person be..? ...Morrissey is usually Right... Sat down, Drop Lick savours the thought of exile away from places that eat dog, force alien happenings and overthink the only things that are gorgeous... ...walking through the rain settling against the tip of the nose, amount to thoughts on the ladyfriend summoning the idea that compromise is not the best idea... tea stained rugs, gloves in back of the living room against the sofa... thoughts of another type of Nightbus start to occur... ...reading bits and pieces here and there the gross opportunity to allude to anything funny dissolutions the very little of Drop Lick... ... grow vegetables, eat rice, have a giggle... if not... ...make a personal profile of your local butcher, the unsung heroes, talk to that Clown taking a break with a Ciggy, ask the lady that looks like a Heidi, if she is actually called Heidi, do more than berate Piers Morgan or whoever it is that you can’t be bothered to understand... ...melancholy of a Misanthrope ...walk in the rain where a crack of artificial sunlight seeps onto the concrete floors, watch a flower grow over a few weeks on the commute, fast for a week & see what’s in your Soul... ...Listening to Corinne Bailey Rae ...three little birds sat in my mind like a painting with the sounds of Liam Gallagher emanating out the Radio a good feeling, his stories about meeting Gandhi and stuff are downright mad... ...That Night (‘Sleep is the Cousin of Death’) Nas ...as I am incinerated into pieces akin to stars, I want to be buried in a bed of roses so once the sun sets on them I can go back to being a painting in the sky... DropLick listens... my last words will be soundless to you, I’ll know... Siesta (C) @DropLick artwork on front cover by Joel Meyertowitz

Bloodlust part 5

-Freaks-

Warnings: smut (male receiving) and angst.

A/n: eddie gif by @illhumor , spoiler Jason is still alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I managed to wake up before my alarm for work, I looked over to Eddie's sleeping face and smiled. Getting up to put on my waitress uniform for mel’s diner, i fixed my hair and put light makeup on, grabbing my uniform from the closest i stopped to look over at him, he's on his back stretch out like a starfish, giggling i made my way back to him forgetting about my uniform. 

Eddie exhales deeply, shifting against the sheets as I lightly touch my fingertips against the bridge of his nose, he smiles sleepily. He exhales my name, kissing his cheek. making my way down his bare chest. He hums in delight, finally opens his eyes, I move the band of the sweatpants down so I could kiss the tip of his cock. I removed the pants with some help from him. I straddle him. Eddie sighs softly and relaxes under my soft kisses that trailed back up his skin, peppering across his collarbone and up his neck. I immediately bit his neck, His fingers curl into the sheets at the sensation.

“I could get used to being woken up like this.” he growls, bucking his hips against my clothed core. Causing both of us to groan. 

~ this mourning is all about you, returning a favor~ 

 Slipping down his waist until my face was next to his cock. The thing about Eddie's cock is that he was average size and it was perfect for me.

I gave him a kitten licks on the  tip, causing his head to loll back on the pillow. I could tell he was forcing his hips to stay on the bed instead of giving into the urge to buck them up. Eddie wants to enjoy this morning blowjob to its fullest. His hips writhe against the sheets. 

One of my hands slid up his slightly toned abs, teasing the thin, dark, happy trail, taking him fully in my mouth, I began to bob up and down slowly. his breath shakes at every inhale, and he props himself up to watch me. A soft “fuck kitten” falls out of his mouth at the sight of me taking his cock with my mouth, he groans louder when my e/c eyes move up to meet his crimson ones. His arms give out, one hand touches the back of my head as I go faster. I can tell he was close from the panting and the grip he had on my hair. His orgasm hits hard.

“shit, shit.” he moans loudly, his thick cum filling my mouth. There was so much it was hard to breathe.  He sighs and writhes restlessly on the bed, his other hand Reaches out to grab one of my wandering hands and links our fingers together. He stares up at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath while I remove my mouth from him with a loud pop, swallowing every bit of cum he gave me.

“Yeah I could get used to this.” he breathed. I giggled as I got off him to finish getting ready for work. I had an hour left. I could feel him staring at me, turning slightly around. I saw he was lying there, but when I put my uniform over my head, he was instantly in front of me. I screamed a little. When his face was in front of mine. grinning at me.

“Stop speeding everywhere, monster boy.” I smacked his arm as he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. Giving me a quick kiss on the neck before letting me go to finish up. He headed downstairs to make me some toast. When I was fully finished, I headed downstairs and grabbed the toast from his hand, but he moved it away from me before I could take it. I shook my head and gave him a quick kiss, and my prize was my piece of toast. 

“Have a good day at work, baby girl.” giving me a smack on the butt before I left. 

*few hours at work*

The kids decided to visit me today, giving them the table that I always reserved for them. They asked for their usuals, which I gladly rang up. 

“Hey larry! I'm going to take a small break with my kids if that's ok.'' I shouted at the cook that was in the back. He waved me off, granting me permission. 

“Hey kiddos. I'm on break.” i say, everyone says “hey” at the same time, Mike scoots over to let me sit. 

The kids were discussing things that were happening at school when I noticed Lucas was quiet.

“Lucas sweetie, what's wrong?”

“Jason, is out of prison.”

I froze. “H-he managed to get out early?” I questioned.

“Yeah, apparently money can cover up multi attempted murders” he scoffs.

Last year Jason Carver tried to murder my boyfriend because he thought Eddie had to do something with my best friend's death because he was in hellfire which Jason believed was a satanic cult and he tried to kill Lucas at the creel house when Max was trying to distract Vecna. 

“W-when was he released?”

“This morning” he says quietly. 

I gulped because when Chrissy died, Jason personality turned him into a psychopath. He was unpredictable.

“i’m scared y/n, that he's going to come after me again.'' I grabbed his hands. “I promise I will not let the psycho come anywhere near you. He would be stupid for messing with my kids again” I say angrily.

“Thanks for being there for us y/n” he smiles. 

“Of course, I wouldn't be an awesome babysitter if I didn't.”

“We aren't babies anymore y/n.” Everyone whined. 

“Oh hush, you're all still babies in my eyes.” I say with a laugh. 

*ding*

“Well break over” I say as I get up and grab their food.

“Eat up, kiddos, foods on me”

“Thanks!” everyone says. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the shift was slow so Larry sent us home early taking out the trash. I was in the alleyway when a hand went over my mouth, thinking it was Eddie surprising me. I turned around with a smile, and my smile immediately dropped when I noticed blond hair and blue eyes. It was Jason. 

“Hello, y/l/n” was all he said before he knocked me out. 

*time skip*

my head and wrist were sore, and i was staring to regain my vision through the darkness. i lulled my head back and noticed my hands were bound, and i was hanging. i tried to scream for help, but my mouth was taped. blue eyes came into view. i glared at him.

"Eddie is lucky that he went missing before i got to him." he drags a knife across my arm. i whimper in pain.

"You and him are such freaks that i need to get rid of the filth that cursed this town with your cult bringing monsters and death." he spats. i wanted to choke jason so badly, my face full of anger. he ripped off the duct tape on my mouth harshly. i gasped in pain from it. he slapped me across the face.

i started laughing. "You messed with the wrong freak, Jason. One of those monsters is mine, and he has fangs." i sneered. before he punched me, knocking me out cold again.

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