im somewhat belatedly quite devastated.

rt's been a large part of my life since before youtube was even a big thing. and watching these people, old and new, talking in this livestream has me shedding tears i thought i was too grown and resigned and accepting to let free.

im in a little bit of a "What am i going to do now?" spot too. there's gonna be a void, and im gonna hit a grieving period that i cant dismiss.

the "its just a ____." is such a shit take, and anyone making it is soulless.

my heart really goes out to everyone involved with rt, everyone that poured their heart and soul and creativity into it, from the company side to the contractors to the fandom.

i really hope to see the phoenix [many] rise from the ashes here, and something new and brilliant come from all the people that still want to create and participate and make and reach out and touch.

ill miss you rooster teeth, more than i can express. and i hope that i see you all again in new places and doing what you love.

despite every bump and burn and frustration and angry disappointment, and for every bit of magic and joy and laughter and stupidity and creativity, i've loved being part of it. thanks for the memories.

goodnight, rooster teeth.

gets on to post something sad again then slides off

where does one read orv? i've started reading on novelowl, but it seems like the translation was made by a person with dyslexia or something, so yeah. would much appreciate if you shared the knowledge <3

AHH okay firstly: this is the website i used when i first started reading orv. + this is the carrd that allows you to download an epub of the novel (ive downloaded this file, its safe haha) + this is the official webtoon english translation of the manhwa

explanation of translation differences below (youll probably want to read this)

lovely! now that thats out of the way, id like to clarify that there are (at minimum) three commonly accepted translations of the story. the webtoon manhwa, but more prominently: a translation of the first 362 chapters by user RainbowTurtle, and a translation of the remaining chapters by user A_Passing_Wanderer.

RT's translation is.. well, i very much appreciate them translating what they did, but its oftentimes hard to parse, especially when youre just starting it. this is why i, and a lot of other fans, recommend the webtoon alongside it. the webtoon very much helps clarify ideas that RT doesnt do well. its something you get used to, and its never too terrible imho, but its clunky enough that i cant tell whether the website youre using sucks, or if its just RT's translation that sucks 😅

APW's translation is a lot more clear and concise, but, again, that doesnt start until ch.363. AND, a big reason people drop off despite the translation being of better quality is that APW changes name romanizations (ref: kim dokja -> kim dok-ja; those with the family name "lee" -> "yi", etc) as well as some general terms for some things (one youll see occasionally is the term "oldest dream" vs "the most ancient dream". same concept, just different translations). thats what youll get reading via the website. not bad or anything, just a little confusing and frustrating. the epub in the linked carrd, however keeps most of RT's names and terms throughout the entirety for consistency.

tldr: it might not be your site, it might be the translator thats confusing you. if its bugging you that much, the webtoon will help clarify things. if you decide that its wonky enough of a translation you dont think you can continue reading it... ill be sad, but i understand! i dropped reading it for a couple of months bc it was hard for me to get into it at first. OH AND if you ever need explanation of anything, feel free to ask. im not scary and id love to talk abt orv.

the funniest part of rt disestablishing is that im watching a 21st anniversary celebration stream and the chat is like

chatter 1: thabk you for all the memories rooster teeth

chatter 2: you guys helped me through a brutally isolating depression. good luck on future endeavors

chatter 3: i will miss you rooster teeth. thank you for all the time keeping me company

chatter 4: ive been watching you guys since i was literally in the womb. ill miss you guys

chatter 5: i miss ray

2am - General Response to Complaints

FIRSTLY, again, I will APOLOGIZE for not correcting the story tags when I chose to let the story evolve in the way it has. That is my fault and there is no excuse for this mistake.

Characters - Sorry to break everyone’s bubble… but characters are plot devices… it is their reactions, actions and lack there of, to external and internal situations that push a plot forward.

Portrayal of Pyrrha - Yes, I have Pyrrha as recovering Alcoholic/Addict… which why her actions as I portray them are to quite a few readers horrendous, they are also portrayed in the light that she was severely under the influence…

 Alcohol/Drugs alter and lower inhibitions, often changing personalities in the process. A meek person who over indulges can turn violent.

I have seen this, and actually been a victim of this…

I also knew a couple that because of alcohol lead to a man kicking in the head of the mother of his children, killing her.

Additional point in case it was missed, though it is implicitly stated in the summary… Pyrrha’s fame finally crushed her, and she took up an unhealthy coping mechanism…

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER : It hasn’t been addressed yet… but there is a strong possibility/implication that Pyrrha has been repeatedly raped due to her addiction (you can’t give consent if you’re blacked outed/incapacitated by alcohol)

Cheating - Jaune and Pyrrha were ONLY a couple in the loosest sense of the word until just after Azalea’s third birthday. So anything that happened from that point forward isn’t cheating, it is Pyrrha, caught in a self-destructive downward spiral because of her addiction(s).

Pyrrha Not feeling like Pyrrha - Sorry to burst any bubbles here, but ANYONE who uses Pyrrha past Volume 3 (where she dies as a plot device to give Jaune justification to chase after Cinder/assist Ruby) has to make her “feel” less like cannon Pyrrha. RT/Monty made her one dimensional… she was just wholly a plot device She had no growth, she was just there to train Jaune and then die. Giving her any growth means interpreting what she would be like if she had lived through vol 3. This story happens after GRADUATION.

Azalea - again a plot device as all characters are, and as in RL children of broken relationship are often a point of conflict for the parents.

Azalea wanting her parents back together - is not a conflict between Jaune-Pyrrha…is actually a conflict between Azalea-Jaune, neither Jaune nor Pyrrha control what their daughter wants/thinks.

She’s only there to give Jaune/Pyrrha a reason to still be in each other’s lives, and that is correct to a point, but she is also there to show that originally Jaune x Pyrrha had a good relationship that fell apart.

She is also a lynch/influence for Jaune and Pyrrha to deal with the baggage between them.  Could this lead to a romantic reconciliation? I do not know.

Pyrrha Character Assassination - sorry, but that’s not happening. I am at no time/place simply stating Pyrrha is a terrible person. The “She’s a Disaster” comment is another character stating their opinion… it’s not a fact.

Shitting on Arkos/Pyrrha - Sorry, I know it looks that way, but it is not happening, and regardless of your opinion if you read carefully you will see a fair bit of the “conflict” after the breakdown of the relationship is because of other people’s actions, and abuse of Pyrrha when she was under the influence.

Jaune has no flaws - He does… they're just not as obvious… Pyrrha’s flaw is right in everyone’s face (Alcoholism/Addiction)...

He’s not over Pyrrha (still holds a torch for her), he has a mental illness (Severe Depression) that leads him to self-harming behaviors

Prior to others forcing him to get help (which will be shown in a flashback) he attempts to commit suicide… this loving father who was denying to seek treatment was about to abandon the daughter he loves in the most permanent way possible. Yes, Depression is an illness, but choosing not to seek help/ignoring the need to get help is selfish.

I know this from personal experience - because I deal with this daily and now have to take mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, and anti-depressants for the rest of my life.

He’s a coward… he has been avoiding/unable to follow through with having a complete separation from Pyrrha (hence others being able to torment him through their own malicious intent, through Pyrrha’s unlocked scroll)

He’s a COWARD… he has been avoiding coming out to his own daughter about the nature of his and Reese’s relationship. Azalea only sees Reese as “Daddy’s Special Friend”... he’s been avoiding for at least a year the conflict of a young child feeling that one of their parents was trying to replace the other parent

Support Structures -

Jaune - his family, his doctor, people from his gym, and Reese

Pyrrha - Her mother, her sponsor (David Scarlet), and her friends (Yang is implicitly named, but others are implied)

End Game/Story Arc - Pyrrha if you hadn’t noticed is going through a redemption arc. While pretty much all the prose is focused on Jaune and his struggles (so far) Pyrrha is getting herself out of the pit she had fallen into. It is obvious now that I have to show this fact in more explicit/obvious detail.

Some final notes… Alcoholism is a disease that compels you to drink to feel normal, but as a consequence it often leads to over indulgence as those afflicted continue to chase that feeling. It is NOT a choice 1.4% of the word’s population (that’s 1.1 million people) have alcohol addiction/dependency issues. SO it is not unreasonable for Pyrrha to suffer from this disease.

So this could be considered a long “rant” though it is not intended as such. It is a breakdown of what I was trying to portray in this story. Can I do better? Definitely. Should I have changed the tags once the end game evolved from an ARKOS relationship, YES I should have.

This will be the last time I discuss “complaints” with this story. If you don't like the story, that is totally acceptable. If you think it is terrible, again, that is perfectly reasonable. Personal tastes differ.

However, if you wish to discuss the story… consider instead of just complaining about why you don't like it, maybe offer some feed back on HOW it could be IMPROVED, or how I can correct flaws in my technique, writing style, or characterizations for future stories.

I'm sorry TCR was a pretty shitty show and anyone saying otherwise otherwise is just a Tom stan. The show was not a true reflection of the time period and it was conflicted at best. Amanda's character was portrayed as this greedy and self-serving woman but caring at the same time, which is it? We had a drug dealer testifying in court with no cross examination. We have character development for Danny's lawyer pretty much in the final episode, You have a court system that empathizes with the black community but the show uses black people to do all the heinous crimes that are shown and sexualized them at the same time. And what was the mystery of the show? What were we trying to solve? Was it the discovery of his DID personality or was it the shooting? It was a complete lack of focus on the main goal, but I do give them credit for portraying the DID community in a sensible manner and it had some great performances. A few of these problems could have been solved in the editing of the show itself which was not good at all

I'm sorry TCR was a pretty shitty show and anyone saying otherwise otherwise is just a Tom stan.

"Sh*tty" Anon?? How on earth?? Now, maybe YOU didn't like the series, but I wouldn't call it "Sh*tty" at all. But hey.... I guess you can think whatever you want to think. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Btw, I'm sure all of the THOUSANDS of viewers who averaged out to give this series a 92% "Fresh" on the RT meter aren't all "Tom Holland Stans". 🙄

Amanda's character was portrayed as this greedy and self-serving woman but caring at the same time, which is it?

Ummm...did we watch the same series?? 🥴

You couldn't tell that Rya was a CARING woman and was probably one of the only ones who actually cared about Danny's wellbeing and wanted him to come to the realization about his condition....vs. some of the others in the series who were simply trying to paint Rya as this greedy self-serving woman? 👀

We have character development for Danny's lawyer pretty much in the final episode

I do feel like they could have spent more time/episodes on the actual court case (those few episodes felt a bit rushed to me), and maybe given us some more character development for Danny's defense lawyer, but sometimes we have to realize that THIS was NOT the focus of the series. The focus of the series really was DANNY, and him coming to the realization that he has DID.

You have a court system that empathizes with the black community but the show uses black people to do all the heinous crimes that are shown and sexualized them at the same time

What heinous crimes committed by black people are you referring to Anon? Danny shot his step dad at Rockefeller Center.... Danny is white.

The drug dealer was black and sold Danny the gun, but aside from that, what else?

And Jerome had a sexual relationship with Ariana (Danny's Alter), but what crime did he commit exactly? 🥴

Granted, the drug dealer didn't have to be requesting Danny to do sexual favors in exchange for getting what Danny wanted, but I mean, are we gonna try to sit here and pretend that this type of stuff doesn't actually happen in real life?? Orr...... 👀

And what was the mystery of the show? What were we trying to solve? Was it the discovery of his DID personality or was it the shooting?

Personally?? I, as well as others (including even Tom himself) have said that maybe the one mistake Akiva made with releasing this series was trying to advertise it as a "mystery". It would have been better (imo) to just advertise the series as Danny simply coming to terms with his own childhood past, and his DID diagnosis. Imo, it wasn't so much about the audience NOT knowing whether Danny has DID or not. We knew before the show even aired. It was more so about Danny knowing, and how Rya was able to help him fit all of the missing pieces together of his life. I actually felt the show was very well done, and one of the very FEW films I've seen that treat the mental illness of DID with such care, compassion, and doesn't just make Danny out to be some kind of monster. JMHO

A few of these problems could have been solved in the editing of the show itself which was not good at all

I won't argue with your opinion Anon. We're all entitled to our own opinions on the series. Do I think there possibly could have been things that could have been better?? SURE! For example, I probably would have cut out most of the stuff in the first 3 episodes tbh...shortened them into maybe one episode or two, and spent a little more time on the court case by Ep 6 imo.

But overall, this series was NOT (imo) a "Sh*tty Show".

Hey I just wanted to make sure you saw the forgotten fourth fanart I posted earlier today? No rush or anything! I just didn't want you to miss it if the @ broke or anything ^^

I FRICK I DID AND I JUST HAVENT BEEN ON TUMBLR MUCH SO I KEEP FORGETTING TO RT IT BUT I LOVE IT GIMME A MIN ILL GO RIGHT NOW LMAO THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME

i am almost desperately, feverishly afraid people miss the point of Nocide. I have talked about this before but I will write it again.

originally, in symbolism terms they were depression. just depression. but since nocide is more than that, i expanded that. while they can be called depressed and perhaps they need help their actions still have consequences. consequences that are for probable somewhat relatable reasons--you can see the reasons perhaps in other people or on a smaller smaller scale.

nocide wants to return to older times so they sub in people and project the past onto the present. it's many things going on at once but just because nocide is a character fueled by anguish for the past or for relatable reasons doesn't erase the harm they've created on purpose.

[warning: i have no idea what tw/cws apply. tread with caution.]

they literally deny most or any responsibility and just brush shit off. just because someone has something going on with them doesn't give them free perks to abuse someone. apologies if this post comes off a bit harsh, and again--this is a consequence of having RT INTERVALS so closely related to my experiences. perhaps it was a mistake to make it so. but nocide is both an amalgamation of an era of my life where i was depressed and frequently had thoughts of harm, and partly the aftermath of a shitty "friendship" I was in.

im not saying that like people with shit going on in their lives don't need help or something but like. for this case specifically, nocide is the abuser. im not saying all people with shit going on are abusers. im very afraid of piss poor tumblr reading comprehension (and the fact that i tend to format thoughts/writing into stream of consciousness so writing/thoughts are messy) so I'm putting this down in case anyone wanders by this post.

nocide is the FUCKING BAD GUY. the point of them is that just because someone suffered doesn't mean they get to take it out. on the somehwt other side of the coin, nameless' thing is that it's not the victim's responsibility to "fix" someone. you cant do that. like, it's not even a responsibility of thiers at all.

like. "ohh but nocide is so in loveee" SO WHAT they literally are [spoilers] they are KILLING NAMELESS and they don't really CARE enoughto STOP IT love is NOT A SOLUTION TO THAT SHIT it is not a MIRACLE CURE for ISOLATION and EMOTIONAL BLCKMAIL and physical VIOLENCE (in terms of nocide x nameless)

LIKE. if i ever do come out with a full story. i need people to understand that it is a fucking abusive relationship that is one sided. (and anything on nameless' part is. is not "OHHH TRUE LOVE" ILL KILL YOU)

well, sharkface. if someone has suggested before then maine (or bonus meta)

you are actually the first to ask about sharkface :) <3 ilu

oddly enough no bingo BUT shrakface <3 :) he is everything to me

and honestly on second though maybe he does work better as part of a dynamic bc on his own, hes very cool and scary and the ridiculousness of his dramatics works great against the reds and blues very “wait what? the fuck is that why are you so cringe” reactions to things. but characterly speaking like. this is a guy unhinged by grief. the loss of people that were close. he is unhinged BC he has no people anymore. if he had people i think that would be so good for him 🥺 kimball and wash hold fire and red team adopt sharkface challenge pls

also carolina learn what an apology is challenge jfc

i will not get into the wasted potential thing because i feel like i have screamed about that so much and i dont have the energy rn lol

BUT. thank u for ask me about shark man <3333 makes my weird little heart all glowy inside

maine gets double bingo bc hes special to me. <33333 big guy. likes to fight,  doesnt like heights, doesn’t talk much, likes big weird weapons. a man after my own heart. needed more screen time imo

like he’s not a saint but people characterizing him as some. idk. sadist evil motherfucker always rubs me the wrong way. also maine =/= meta. but maine is part of the meta. u understand.

meta also gets double bingo bc im lov them <3333333333

i want to recoup some energy so i can talk more about meta bc he is my special little guy they are my big silly blorbo blob so this is going in drafts a minute

edit: did i never fucking post this?! i thought i had..... anyway. ill post this and then go look for it bc ill forget it in the drafts again

OK IM BACK

meta!!!!! honestly. to me. meta is a journey. a transformation. never fully solidified, always in flux. by the time they are actually the meta it is no longer sigma here and maine there in the same helmet. putting more and more fragments in the same organic mind must have been mental hell in a few ways for someone unused to this. the chaos. the fragments were from the same ai but they were still their own selves. u get it.

theres no way to know what went on in there the whole time and i dont trust rt to write that but he’s still. very special to me. especially post-emp. they are gone. his(their) head is empty again. quiet. 

personal headspace stuff warning for those who’d rather scroll by:

especially early on in 2020+. i got locked in my head a lot. my little subsection of our headspace is an oubliette/panic room bunker cylinder. i’ve since been able to add windows and i know i CAN technically get out now. but for a long time it was just me, and an impenetrable wall of fog with no way out, and only a window way up in the ceiling i couldn’t reach. no one could reach me, i couldn’t reach out either. it was extremely lonely, very grey, and it just made me miss everyone i was able to talk to before. this is probably why i feel so attached to him, because i know what suddenly being shut off from all your system members feels like (idc that it was artificial bc the fragments were intentionally inserted, they were a system.)

feels like someone stripped you down to your OS when that happens honestly and you have to keep moving in a world that expects something of you yet. what do you do when you are back to being just one person alone in your head? how do you figure yourself out? other characters have said the meta was seeking more power... but that’s not right, i don’t think. when sigma& were in there, in the meta soup crockpot. they wanted to be human. be whole. reaching that metastability. and after they were gone. do u really think he would not have jumped at any chance to get one of them back? yeah AI are powerful. but so is loneliness. 

i think maybe. if he would have lived. he would have had little introjects like epsilon made. maybe a neosigma. maybe there was a partition he started putting up when everyone else got too loud and split off a separate maine that was buried when things kicked into high gear. i dont know. there’ll never be any of this in canon so it’s only my speculation but. i like them, i like to think about them.

there show distinctly separates this transformation into several parts but only because that’s all they show us. they show us pfl maine with no ai. they show us pfl maine + sigma. they show us the boogeyman the meta is made into through the lens of hte other characters. they show us a meta a bit more clear-headed but still in possession of personality, sapient thought. but my brain wants to know (always) what happens in between. because it was never a light switch moment that caused these things, it was things stacking up over time, like anything else. i want to know how wanting to help sigma achieve metastability turned into acquiring the other fragments at almost any cost. it’s canon that the freelancers’ and ais’ personalities started to bleed into each other. how much of that happened more and more with each fragment they added?

hm. much 2 think about. i do have a meta lives au which addresses some of this. but i think i have spilled all my brainbeans and now i am tired again lol <3 but. ty for asking and sorry this sat in my drafts for months x.x ilu

i really wanna pull back to my website. i think i lost track of my initial "personal website" hype as at the time, while i was all excited to get on it and did have fun, i wasnt in a great place? mainly in terms of having a social circle online. which i think is important to think about. social media pulls you in by the interaction- quick ability to chat, pass around posts with rts or rbs, like them. the reason many get stuck to it is because of that- you want interactions. especially as an artist or any creator you are likely posting with the intent of gaining an audience. and so looking for validation in the form of interaction is common.

this is 100% something i fall into. and even more so, i have lacked a circle of people to call friends online esp after my rp. i have mutuals. mutuals who are all lovely! but lets be real, how many of you do i talk to in PMs or on discord?? probably 1% of you, and its no problem with you.... i just find it harder to connect online than ever before. unless i get overly passionate with mutuals i have strong interests with, and more of them go out of their way to openly interact (talking on reblogs, replying on posts), its unlikely i will figure out how to connect either. aside from it potentially being my problem, i do think social media normalizes 'passive interaction'. a simple reblog and nothing more, quiet tags in a post, just a like, never sending asks (or doing so on anon).

back when i wass 10-14 online, it seemed easy. i think when youre younger there is more excitement to have online friends, and kids can often be just... more boisterous online as its a space where you can be yourself for real. i never stopped being myself online, i just find myself tired, busy, or having trouble engaging with exciting fandoms like i used to because im aware of how toxic some can be. so it wasnt until late last year where the ball started rolling- i started actually making connections with people through single-malt-sctoch esp after some joined my mc server. majority were from my sideblog and thus enjoyed that fandom. suddenly it was like i was back in mindcrack from my earliest days on tumblr. id never gained such an active group of mutual connections, and thus friends.

thats what i realized i was missing in order to purely dive into the personal website life i think. if i were to go off to my website and have no friends then im just isolated, or pulled back to social media in order to feed myself with social interactions (which direct one are far and few in between- usually still just rt's, likes, etc which arent actually satisfying in the end) . of course i will still be here sharing my art, esp for the sideblog i am actively making stuff for. and ill still attempt things like youtube etc and share projects! but it helped to realize not being able to have friends i could contact in places like discord was making it hard for me to focus on the site. of course i want to socialize, but it is hard to do so when you cant make obvious connections, and as hard as it was trying to step into actually gaining more than just mutuals, its happened and i really want to utilize that.

I went months without sleep and that’s what threw me into a psychosis. i was yelling and throwing fits alone in my apartment. I was saying crazy stuff. I was far gone and I haven’t done that in at least a year. I began recovering from the delusions but I just taught myself to believe and I did not want to give it up. I see everything for how it was. Yea I said im going to kill you, and myself. I was alone and in a bad place. I was mad at the delusion. The only reason you know i was doing that is because the maintenance guy At cedarwood would stand outside my door recording me. Then he shared with his friends in rts and he was writing false police reports about me for the last year. Im guessing if they have enough reports, they can press charges without me knowing. I’ve been calm and living for a least a year. I got a good reference from cedarwood, I wouldn’t get away with screaming it living here. Cedarwood is meant for people with bad health that’s why I moved out and im so happy for it. It intensified my recovery from mental illness Everything has been a violation of title 9 and equal housing but of course I’ll never get justice, I just get shit on That’s been my life. I live downtown about , not even a mile from the transit I have no reason to cross Main Street. I do need a walmart trip because I can’t get everything on Amazon and through instacart. I am getting my license back and everything goes the opposite way into safe parts of the city. People At cedarwood were talking about me saying I was going to get hurt there because I have a good job. Surprise! No matter how drivers treat me, I won’t miss a transfer because that’s the attack on me drivers do. Now all cops in this area are scared I hope they are scared of nothing and i hope they go to Lyell to deal with crack and death. This is my neighborhood, I was here first. Get out of my town get out of my city

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i just listened to this will be the day for the first time in probably a few years and the fucking nostalgia bomb i just felt.

.

im getting caught up on trh again

y’all should send me asks ,,,,