I love seeing people in my notes that I haven’t seen in a while 🥺

WAYS ON HOW I STAY SANE AS A BXG 🤍

inspired by a convo i had with @rainbowsky and i thought to make a post. it’s been a while since i made a write-up like this and i think it’s timely to make one cause even now — i’m seeing new turtles. or those who are experiencing fandom burnout. no matter what group you belong to i hope this helps a bit. as someone who have been here for quiet some time, i’ll just share things i do to make my fandom life as peaceful as possible.

we really get the best of both worlds as bxgs who love two amazing guys : xz & wyb. but sometimes that also means twice the stress and everything else. whether from content they put out or the cpn side of things. i’m not saying to live in a bubble where nothing bad ever happens, however, fandom should primarily bring happiness and relief. it is not one that makes you dread everyday if things don’t go “your way”. so here’s how i manage to do that.

▸ ┈┈┈┈ • ┈┈┈┈ ◂

1. The Truth is they Don’t Owe me Anything

They don’t owe us candy/ cpn. They don’t need to make us secure of their relationship. If you are a BXG that believes in szd, then you must accept that it’s their relationship and not ours. It is between them. Whatever clues we manage to dig up and see is because we are so attuned to them. Tho sometimes I do believe they turn gremlin and leave us stuff to see— but again, we should not feel like we are entitled to be given any of that regularly. At one point, it will be the best for them to live their life and enjoy their relationship quietly. I know candy can be addicting and is one of the pillars of the fandom but it’s not everything. It should not be a make or break for you as a fan, if it is, then you may want reconsider why you’re here.

There will be times of no sweets. People must accept that it’s not 2019 anymore. They are not promoting a project together and so we will not see them like we did. Don’t compare the amount and quality of CPNs from before and now.

Just enjoy what we manage to spot and see. 🤍 Also knowing their status as celebrities, the focus of the public must be their work and not their personal life. I think they both understand the risks of them interacting and being seen together & it’s better to be safe.

2. Appreciate their career

Sometimes I feel like i’m a full on career fan lol. Considering how I first started this blog as a CPN only space then evolved into an update account and so on. The thing is I really appreciate their work and whatever content they bring us. I am a fan of them as individuals and i’m happy that I was able to make that switch. I don’t think I would last this long if all i’m here for is their relationship and interactions. I don’t blame those who left, especially back in 2021, when they found a much better CP to support. It’s their decision. But that’s the point, they were here for the “relationship” and not XZ & WYB. that’s why they left.

This is the best way to not get distracted by unnecessary things. There is so much content to get through when it comes to the boys and that should keep you distracted — you’ll have no time for negative news.

3. Stay on your own lane

I am talking about fandoms in particular. Don’t talk about other fandoms unless absolutely necessary. Don’t look for trouble by mentioning other CP fandoms. Stay in the BXG fandom as much as you can. TBH, I am SZD so I don’t see them as a CP like what other fandoms do. That’s why I don’t get really nervous when other CP fandoms have their own candies. But if they do, it’s theirs. We are not the only clowns in the world. Other people can speculate and theorize on their own pairings. Remember that before XZ & WYB, they have other CP pairings too. We are not the first. We are the most popular, strong in numbers and resilient — but we are not the only one. There will be more. Especially with the more dramas and movies they will be making in the foreseeable future. You will never be happy if you keep comparing this fandom to others.

I have personally toned down my bias towards showing off their Double Standards. And what the hell are you even doing going to other CP pairings territory? LOL. Please stop. Again. Stay on your own lane. Don’t go looking for “evidence” in other people’s home.

4. Don’t go to toxic places

Expanding on #3. Do not go to obvious toxic spaces and give yourself a headache reading their bullshit. Don’t waste your time trying to argue with antis ( twitter especially ) who are only there to goad you in the first place. I admit that sometimes I do cross over to those places especially if there is something on the hot search but I don’t do it regularly. Knowing your enemy as a strategy does not necessarily apply here. Do your best instead into making a positive environment for those who like XZ & WYB. 🤍

5. Take a break and live your life

The boys always say this and it is true. Take a break. If you catch yourself going down an unhealthy rabbit hole of fandom then please stop. Go out. Talk to your loved ones. Do some chores. Sleep. Rest. Do other things. Watch Buddy Daddies LOL.

At one point in the fandom it was truly unhealthy for me. I couldn’t sleep because of crippling FOMO. I had to accept that there will always be things I will miss. I can always catch up. There is no pressure for me to always be the first one to update and post. No one cares. I can do fandom in my own pace. It can be really overwhelming sometimes and it’s okay to take a breather. 🤍

6. Don’t crack your head open

This applies to CPN and other fan or anti theories. Don’t think too much about it. It’s not rocket science. CPN is mainly for fun and there is a little amount that goes into serious territory. There is no need to believe everything. Take what makes sense to you and stick to that.

7. Participate in the Fandom

I think one of the ways to have a good fandom experience is to be present. to participate. It doesn’t have to be anything big because I understand that not everyone has the time to do so. Personally, it took me some time to show myself because there is joy in being a lurker. Put something out there that you would want to see but you think isn’t available. Or even if there is already one out there, put your own spin to it. Don’t be overcome by the crippling fear that no one would bother reading it so you just won’t post. Someone will see it. You will. You will accomplish something and contribute to the fandom.

I’m keeping this list short and simple as a guide for those who want to live a ( mostly ) peaceful fandom life. or maybe one of these may be a reminder for you to take it easy.

The road ahead is long, so take care of yourself. 💛

Rules

these are some points you should respect and follow when interacting or following me. some may just be informations or tips, but please read this so you know what’s going on.

i mostly write smut, so if you are a minor please don’t interact with my stuff. i don’t mind it with fluff of course, just smut please! (or please at least be 16 to interact with my sexual content. one, because legal age in my country is 16, and two, because i think sixteen year olds have a pretty decent understanding of sexual situations and are mature enough to read my stuff. if you are uncomfortable though, you don’t have to read anything!) if i find out you are a minor (or under 16/17) i will block you

if you request something, please mind that i don’t write sexual content for riki(or other members of groups that are younger than 18/19). i will for the other members but it might take me some time.

also if you request something read the list below of what i agree to write and what not before doing so!

don’t just report my stuff because i write smut, please. if you don’t like the content i write leave my page and don’t bother me.

i am still going to school so don’t expect me to update anything really quickly or regularly.

i want to encourage you to leave feedback or comments on my posts and works, just don’t be rude. i accept criticism but just not if you’re going to use rude and not suitable language

feel free to send me a text if something is bothering you (be it about my blog or someone else’s)

and don’t feel shy to interact with me! i am not on here just to strictly make content but also to interact with new people!

links/pics are greatly appreciated!!! and don’t be surprised if i use links people send me in my “nsfw links” posts.

i won’t disclose any personal information on here (name/location/other social media) and you don’t have to either, i trust people that interact with me not to lie about not being minors. even though some might be, please be honest and tell the truth, i just don’t want you to get exposed to the wrong things on the internet because what you see can greatly affect your life/perspective

some things i don’t write:

piss kink

any form of brutality/torture during sexual acts

death of any members

incest

step siblings

snowballing

non-con

rape

prostitution

things i will write about:

spit kink

wax play

ice play

other sexual fantasies that i am comfortable with (i will add the ones i’m uncomfortable with to the top list)

member x trans people

member x boy/girl/non-binary

member x member because if it’s okay to write about a member and a fan (even if the fan is male/non-binary/female) then it’s okay to ship them. i will not write about anything in this context if it’s not requested! (i will maybe write fluff member x member, but smut only if requested)

polyamorous relationships

3some, 4some +

any cliché plots like: mafia x good girl, bully x nerd etc.

consensual non-con (ex. somnophilia)

sub!members

vampire!members

about enhypen webtoon (just to let you know: i am not very good at remembering names, but i will try if someone requests something in this direction)

a/b/o universe

more things will be added to this list!

Tumblr Etiquette Masterpost

Hi! Because I have (1) anxiety (2) been on tumblr for more than a decade, I have assumed the incredibly narcissistic position of making a post about how to interact with people on tumblr, since I think I’ve mastered the basic rules.

UPDATE: I started drafting this post a while ago. I'm not calling anyone out. I mostly made this because I realized I had a shocking number of followers who are new to tumblr.

In this post I’m covering Asks + Anons, Reblogging + Liking, Following, Tags, and ~Making Friends~.

TL;DR: tumblr etiquette is about social norms. These are the norms I have observed in my time here. You’re free to blog as you choose, but tumblr is a happier place when everybody is following the same guidelines.

Yes I use the words like “have to” or “rule” in this post. No, none of these are actual rules. Do what you want, but be prepared to face disgruntled users.

Let’s get started!

All About Following 

Rule #1: You do not have to follow anybody you don’t want to. You do not need to let someone follow you if you don’t want to.

Tumblr is technically a social media site. If you want to grow your social circle, follow your mutuals’ mutuals. The internet is like real life. You do a Group Hang, and then eventually you get to the one-on-one friendship. (Please refer back to Rule #1)

Some of your mutual-in-laws might feel slighted if you follow everyone except them. That’s okay. (Please refer back to Rule #1) You might feel slighted if you’re the one not being followed. That’s okay. (Please refer back to Rule #1)

Tumblr is technically a social media site, but it’s also a place to see the content you like, not just the people you like. You can be friendly with people you don’t follow, or who don’t follow you. Some users are amazing people who just post the wrong content. That’s okay.

If someone posts content you don’t like, unfollow them. If you don’t like someone’s personality, unfollow them. Don’t be an asshole, don’t hate-follow, and don’t stress yourself out.

Asks, Anons, Messages

I tried to organize my thoughts into paragraphs. I really did. But talking to people on tumblr is messy if you do it wrong, and I’m just going to bullet-point some etiquette guidelines.

Rule #1: You do not have to answer any messages you don’t want to.

Your 500 word message should not be the first time a user sees your name

.....Before you get Venting Privileges, a user should recognize you from the tags you leave on their posts, or the comments you leave on their fic, or the other shorter messages you’ve sent them, or from being mutual-in-laws, literally whatever. But it’s Not Cool to dump things on people who don’t even know you.

The anon button should be used in two scenarios only:

.....1, to send a positive message. Not neutral! Positive message, the kind of message you send with heart emojis.

.....2, if you don’t want to admit personal information about yourself. The Venting Privileges Rule still applies even if you’re on anon (ie: you can’t vent! Because they don’t recognize your username!) and “personal information” does not include unpopular opinions. I’m talking messages like “Saw your post about living in Houston, and I agree!”

.....(Okay, three scenarios: if someone specifically asks for anons for an ask game or something!)

If you don’t want it posted publicly, don’t send it over an ask. Send it as a DM. You can always kindly request that the recipient doesn’t publish it, but typical tumblr etiquette is that asks get published by default.

Personally, if I follow someone back I like to introduce myself! Many of these conversations end after the “hi” stage, and I never force friendship upon someone. But many of these conversations also work as ice breakers, and make it easier to send the second message, and the third. Don’t worry that you’re being rude if you don’t do this—it’s also totally normal to just keep blogging as usual!—but it’s helpful in making friends.

If you reblog an ask game from someone, it’s just common courtesy to send them an ask of your own.

Tags, Blacklists

Rule #1: You do not need to use any tags you don’t want to.

(Are you sensing a theme? But this one gets a...)

But, be prepared to face disgruntled followers over this.

Tags are useful in so many ways. They’re a great place to organize posts so you can find them more easily later on! They’re a great place to show off your personality! They’re a great (and quiet! More on this later) place to show appreciation for content creators.

They’re also so incredibly helpful for your followers to avoid content they don’t want to see. If you’re delving into a new fandom and are about to reblog twenty posts in a row, tag it. If you’re liveblogging a movie, tag it. If your post (especially your photo posts) contains any common phobias or unpleasant things (gore, spiders, etc) tag it. And if one of your followers asks you to tag certain content, even if you don’t really understand why? Tag it, or else expect to lose that follower.*

*This isn’t about your follower count, btw. This is about being a decent person.

On the other hand, use blacklists and filtering liberally! If a user does tag their content, you have no right to complain about their posting it. Just filter it.

Reblogs, Likes, Comments

Tumblr is a blogging site. It functions on reblogged posts. That’s just how it works. This is not one of those sites where you scroll for hours clicking the like button.

Here are what likes are for:

Showing support for someone’s personal posts

Showing appreciation for someone’s tags

Admiring content that doesn’t exactly align with your blog (different fandom, inappropriate, whatever.)

Saving a post to find later

Showing double the love!

Here is where likes are most disappointing:

The original fic, artwork, or edits of your fellow tumblr users, especially in your fandom

(If you’re someone who regularly reblogs things, I’m not talking to you. You’re allowed to simply “like” posts. I’m talking to those users in my notifications that, day after day, like 35 of my posts and reblog exactly 1 of them.

Just reblog shit.)

Also, remember how I said you can quietly show appreciation in the tags? Only comment directly on a post if you are sure you’re adding something worthy to the post. If you’re just saying “haha me too!” or “I remember this!” just leave it in the tags. (Reminder! You can do what you want! It’s your blog and I’m not the police! I’m just teaching you etiquette! And the polite thing to do is to leave personal commentary in the tags!)

Let’s recap:

Aaaaand: Making Friends

Start small. Introduce yourself after you have mutually followed each other.

Leave nice things in people’s tags. They notice.

Send ask game messages.

Show off more of your personality. This isn’t a one way street!

.....You can do this by, well, reblogging things. Also by tagging things. Also by just making original posts.

Do not go zero to one hundred. You wouldn’t sit next to someone in class and start talking about your trauma (even if you heard that they share your own!). So don’t do it online.

Like people’s vent posts, and their asks, and their tag games. Reply to them, too.

Honestly? Do more tag games! If someone says “anyone can do this and say I tagged you” take them up on the offer! Tag other people you want to get to know more.

Last but not least, you do not owe anyone anything on tumblr, and no one owes you anything. Ignore the rude message. Block the annoying tag. Follow the users you like even if they don’t follow you back. Do not tell people to post more of X. Do not tell them to post less of Y. Do not ask them why they don’t follow you.

It’s so much easier to press the unfollow button than to be a dick.

Hi. I am the Advice Anon. Please ignore those asks! I am so sorry for spamming your ask box. I still need help, so I’ll paste the entire thing over here. Again, sorry and thank you! Have a great day!

My reply and the full ask are below:

Hello! I hope you’ve been having a great day so far. This is probably unlike all of the other asks you get on a daily basis, author. However, I am in dire need of help, and I have turned to you. Before I begin, I want to apologize in advance, as this ask is going to be long. Now, like I said before, I need some help. You see, I am a freshman in high school, and school hasn’t even been going on for a full 10 weeks (a quarter), and I am already in a huge, messy, sticky situation. You probably already know that in high school, you need a certain number of credits in each field to be able to graduate. I am going to be extremely vague about this because it doesn’t really matter, and I’d really like to remain anonymous, if you know what I mean. One of the fields is World Languages and Visual Arts. Obviously, I am not talented enough to do Visual Arts, so I opted for World Languages instead. My teacher for the course I chose this year… she’s nice. Really kind, and I love that she makes learning a whole new language and culture, which is extremely hard, so much fun. And the fact that she’s one of the nicest teachers I know makes the rest of this so, so painful for me. 4 days ago, for me, was a Thursday. In this class, we had a vocab quiz that day (background info: two days before every quiz, my teacher posts a practice quiz to be done before class starts). I don’t really want to discuss what happened, as it still brings tears to my eyes, but I will give you a vague summary of what was going on. Basically, I couldn’t access my quiz (it was online), so my teacher told me to come in after school to re-do it. I was supposed to close down my computer and work on homework from another class, but instead of doing so, I worked on the practice quiz. And… this was considered cheating, because I was getting extra practice in before taking the quiz– something that the other students didn’t get, you know? My teacher saw my computer screen, and told me that she’d talk to me after school, and she’d be calling home. I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the class, because I was afraid of what might happen when she called home. After school, she told me to speak with her, and be honest about it. When cheating happens, at our school, the teacher will write us up for Academic Dishonesty and give it to the administration, who then decides the consequences. My teacher had told me that if I was honest with her, she wouldn’t write my up; she’d just give me a zero on the quiz and call home and tell them what I did. I was honest with her, because like I said before, I was afraid. Once I told her everything that happened, she told me that I could call home, let them know what happened myself, and I’d be off the hook (with a zero on the quiz, of course). So, I called home, like she had asked of me, but… they didn’t pick up. I told her that they didn’t pick up, and she told me that it was fine, and that she’d talk to my parents in-person before they picked me up from school. I’m not going to lie, that terrified me more than calling home. I don’t really remember what happened after that, because I was too busy crying, but I do remember that she mentioned something about me doing this before, and that it was not OK to do it the second time, but she’d let me off the hook. The thing is, I am 100% sure I haven’t done this before… or maybe she just didn’t approach me the first time. I told her that I didn’t do this before, and she told me that I was lying again, and began to write me up. I told her that I didn’t mean to do this, and that I was sorry, but she told me to stop lying. She said that she DID approach me the first time I did this, and that I was rude to her then. This brought tears to my eyes– my kind of favorite teacher telling me that I was rude to her. You see, I didn’t grow up here, and although I’ve lived here for 4 years, I am not used to the way people interact here. It was very different where I grew up. For example, you didn’t ask each other how their day was, or what they did during their day, unless you were REALLY curious or concerned, because that was considered nosy and rude. So, I tend to be unintentionally rude, and completely oblivious to it; I have no idea when I’m being rude or not, unless someone specifically says so. I also don’t really understand people well, so that’s a huge problem. So… hearing this from her, really hurt. I told her that I didn’t intend to be rude, and I was trying my best to change (I mean, I was & am reading a book to teach me etiquette and all), and she replied with “that’s good to hear”. Then, when my parents came to pick me up, she talked to them, and even asked one of my parents to walk with us to the Administration Office to turn in the write up. Stuff happened, I got called into the Assistant Principal’s office, and now I have a zero on my quiz (and my homework activity that I never finished), Saturday School, and a black mark on my record. But the thing is… that’s not what I’m concerned about at all. Sure, getting my grades up in time for Progress Reports is going to be an extremely hard task, and Saturday School is going to leave a huge black mark on my record, but that’s not what I’m worried about. My grades have been fractured, but so has my relationship with this teacher. I feel as though she hates me now, that she has lost all trust in me. (Background info: our school does Odd and Even days, so I have half of my classes on one day and half on the other, so that means that I didn’t face my teacher at all on Friday) 3 days ago, on Friday, when I went to school, it was an average day. It would have been an amazing day, had it not been for the situation I was in. All I could think about that day was my World Language teacher. And just thinking about her, and about that classroom, it… gives me a bit of anxiety. This is where I need your help. What would you do if you were in my situation? I really want to repair my relationship with my teacher, because I know that she’s really important; we’re going to be on the same campus for the next 4 years of my life, and even more importantly, she’s going to be my teacher for the next 8 months. I want to graduate with good grades, but more importantly, I want to graduate without holding a grudge against my teacher. I want her to like me, and I want to gain her trust again. Today is a Sunday for me, and I have to go back to school tomorrow, and I have her class then. A part of me is really scared to go to school, a part of me is really angry at my teacher for reporting me (even though it was the right thing to do), and a part of me wants to ditch school tomorrow, or even drop out or transfer from her course, all because I don’t want to face her after I did the wrong thing. It’s not only that, either. I’ve also been avoiding my friends. Would you like to know why I am confiding in awesome strangers on the internet anonymously instead of letting my friends know what’s going on? It’s because I’m afraid that they won’t like me anymore, and they’d ditch me or something. They’re amazing people, and I know that they won’t do that, but a part of me is still paranoid. I’ve been avoiding my friends since Friday, barely talking to them at school, and texting them a little bit in our group chat. They don’t really suspect anything, but that’s good. And that’s why I am asking you. Not just you, but actually anyone who sees this, if they helped me, I’d really appreciate it. I really need help moving forward in this situation, and I’m desperate for help. My parents don’t understand the situation I’m in, and I’m too scared to talk to my friends about it, so I’d really appreciate the help. It’s OK if you don’t reply to this, author. I know that this doesn’t affect you in any way, so you’re not obliged to help me. I’d like to thank you for taking the time from your day to read these extremely long asks. Have a great day. P.S: I absolutely love What Heroes Do! Izumi is such a well written character, and sometimes, I see myself in her. The way she handles situations is so inspirational! And your writing skills are top-tier! My best friend and I actually started writing a book 4 years ago (I mean, we wrote for one month in 6th grade, and then spent one day in 8th grade editing it, and we’ve only got a prologue and 1.5 chapters done, so… clearly, we aren’t doing a good job lol), and you’ve inspired me to go back to that book and re-do it! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration and an idol of mine! Ilysm ❤️

sugiwa:

I wanted to take the  proper time to reply to this. I think any adult willing to hold a grudge against a child is in the wrong. You clearly made a mistake and are now taking steps to improve and learn from it. Additionally, I think teachers tend to forget how much stress students are under in their academic and private lives, so a mistake should be used as an opportunity to teach not punish. I don’t think that you should worry about what this teacher thinks of you. Your teacher didn’t believe you, despite you telling them the truth. No matter how kind or nice someone is, their behavior towards you will always reflect their inner thoughts. If you’ve clearly made a mistake, you should fight to prove that. It’s not as if you intended to ‘cheat,’ given the situation we’re all in with the pandemic, online classes and quizzes are the norm. These kinds of things probably happen regularly. Additionally. I don’t think you need to concern yourself with being rude. My culture is rather blunt and when I first moved here, people weren’t fans of brutal honesty, so it was a big cultural shock.  If people aren’t willing to learn about your culture and understand, then I don’t think they’re people worth hanging out with. Lean on your friends, I don’t think they’d make a big deal over a couple of mistakes and if they do, then it might be worth reconsidering why you were friends with them. 

Thank you for your kind words about the story and I really hope everything works out for you!!

Thunderfam Appreciation Post

I’m giving this a new post to prevent scroll city, but the original and several reblogs can be found by clicking the above link. Also, it’s an excuse to post a piccy of Virg cos any excuse, really :D

Many thanks to @willow-salix for writing this question list :D

Before I start, I just want to say that I value every member of this fandom. I’m often hopeless at communicating in group settings so I don’t speak to many peeps, but that is my failing, not anyone else’s. You are an amazing group and you have supported me and each other just brilliantly over the last nearly three years that I have been hanging with you guys. Thank you ever so much for all your wonderful support and encouragement. I’ve had so much fun and created so much stuff…you guys are amazing. Thunderfam rock!

Please note that my memory is pathetic and I will fail to mention everyone. Please do not take any offence if you aren’t listed below. That does not mean I don’t value you, I do, it just means I have swiss cheese between my ears.

-o-o-o-

Your favourite writer of your favourite boy.

@i-am-chidorixblossom  You are a whumper and comforter after my soul. You speak the Virg :D @vegetacide I adore your turn of phrase and your description is to die for.

The person who's stories you will always read.

I try to read most fics that come across my dash, but there are a few that have me jumping up and down. @i-am-chidorixblossom , @vegetacide , @tsarinatorment , @scribbles97 , @the-lady-razorsharp , @janetm74 Of course, I regularly fail at this as some of you write a huge amount of fic and I am often playing catch up, but fic!

Who wrote the first fic you read in this fandom.

I landed on FF.net back in May 2018. I immediately ran into @the-lady-razorsharp who I knew from another fandom ten years prior and she was absolutely wonderful, drawing me in and introducing me around. I gobbled up several of her fics in the process.

Person you can talk to for the longest without a break.

I am hard to get started, persistence is required, but once started, it is usually hard to shut me up. @scribbles97 @vegetacide and @tsarinatorment have all discovered that. Dangle a Virg, a plotline and stand back.

Person you can't be trusted to be left alone with.

Um, @vegetacide and I have plotted out the entirety of Warm Rain together…poor Virg. Add @the-lady-razorsharp into the equation and Virgil ends up with a beard, dressed in leather and riding a Harley – that was a hilarious evening.  Between @tsarinatorment and @janetm74 Virgil gets grey hairs and has to go rescue Scott – because Scott inevitably ends up in the story :D  @scribbles97 gets the blame for Gentle Rain – expand your horizons she said ::headdesk:: But then there was the time I left one random line about Eos visiting Virgil in the shower and went to bed. I woke up to hilarity and chaos as Thunderfam took the idea and ran with it! Love you guys :D

Person whose fic made you cry the most.

I know there were at least two fics that made me cry, but for the life of me I can’t identify them. I did cry writing my own fic – Flannel – and don’t tend to reread it for that reason. Purupuss traumatised me with A Quiet Day to the point I had to put it down and walk away for a bit ::wails::

Person whose fic made you laugh the most.

I have no idea. I know there are fic out there and I know I’ve read it, but without a complete list of everything I’ve read, I don’t have a clue.

Person whose fic made you think the most.

Aaaargh, I don’t have a master list so can’t remember everything. Staring at my paltry favourites list on FF.net (which was mostly gathered three years ago and never maintained), Purupuss’ ‘Brothers in Arms’ and her whole Quiet series has me wanting to write a Scott-Virgil telepathic fic (and she has given me permission to run with the idea, I just haven’t actioned it yet). Counterpoint by Swallow and Amazon is amazing and likely contributed to Sotto Voce.

Person you have laughed with the most.

I’m really not liking this ultimate one person idea. I’ve laughed with a lot of people in this fandom. I’ve candy cannoned a bunch of you as well :P There has been mad plot cackling, evil conspiring, fic written to stir pots and delight on purpose. Hell, I’ve even written fic that was purposefully a giant virtual hug because I’m so far away that even if half the world wasn’t in isolation, I couldn’t hug most of you. Sure, I talk with some of you more than others, and there is laughter in those chats…oh, god, so much cackling, poor, poor Tracy boys. But then there are also so many smiles both vocalised and not. Thunderfam is one of my happy places. Bring on the belly laughs :D

Your comfort fic that you'll go back and read again on a bad day.

I will often resort to my own fic when I’m really down simply because it helps me get to sleep :D and it is kinda tailored to me ::grins::  (and my memory is that bad I often forget what I wrote anyway – yes, it is that bad) But there are also a few on my FF.net favourites list. Mostly hurt/comfort in a Virg flavour. Cheesycheese, nhsweetcherry, A Small Rescue by Nalina, Breathe Easy and Under the Weather by @loopstagirl – several of hers, in fact – the Virg ones :D Pretty much anything that has Virg fainting and being looked after apparently :D Chiddi and Veggie fic, of course.

Favourite piece of fan art.

I have never been so honoured by artists before. This fandom has some amazing skills and I have been gifted some beautiful works. You guys are amazing (I keep saying it like a broken record, but you are).

Again, I’m stuck on having to list one and I can’t. I think Fanart Appreciation Month in January pretty much summed up my opinion.

Who have you known the longest in the fandom.

@the-lady-razorsharp followed by @vegetacide both wonderful peeps. I can’t miss out on @weirdburketeer either for her amazing support almost from day one.

Favourite OC.

I have to say that I really enjoy reading about Ray from @i-am-chidorixblossom ‘s fics :D He is so gentle and kind and just ::sigh:: Virg likes him lots :D Selene by @willow-salix is, of course, a major presence in the fandom and amazingly written. @hedwigstalons ‘ Claire is lovely.

Person who supports your work the most.

The Thunderfam? There have been some wonderful people who support all the time. @hedwigstalons  @cg29 @janetm74 @weirdburketeer in particular have been amazing support liking and commenting on just about everything I write. I honestly don’t know how they do it. Plus several peeps over on FF.net and Ao3 who support me over there.

And then there are the poor souls who put up with me in chat and listen to my wibblies and whining and character checks and field random chunks of writing that get thrown their way. @scribbles97 @vegetacide @the-lady-razorsharp  @tsarinatorment @i-am-chidorixblossom @onereyofstarlight @godsliltippy  @willow-salix @janetm74 all have had random passages thrown at them at all times of the day and night by a crazy me begging for feedback. Does this work? Is this in character? Am I insane? What the hell is Scott doing? Is this John??? I give up, tell me what to do? Virgil is driving me insane! So, um, yeah

Person who's progress you are the most proud of.

I love those peeps who appear in fandom who start off poking around commenting and generally being lovely and then all of a sudden get out their own pens and start writing and they are frickin’ amazing! Both @janetm74 and @hedwigstalons come to mind in this department. Like holy cow – ‘here is my first fic and I’m not sure’ ::reads it:: Omigod! Where did you come from? That was amazing. Sit down here now, keep doing that writing thing, bloody hell! I think being brave enough to pick up a pen and join in is a major thing :D

Person who's story you think is underrated and should be read by more people.

If I find fic I like, I reblog it and shout about it. What I like is definitely skewed in a Virgil direction and this dictates often what I’m going to read first. I can’t reblog what I haven’t read. So, this equation will always be skewed by ‘reasons I haven’t read a fic’ which mostly involves either Virgil or the fact I’m juggling RL. So, my answer to this is if I think a fic needs to be shouted about, I shout about it.

Something you think people would say about you.

She’s nutty.

Silliest 'thing' you do with someone.

I’ve been known to write fic on the fly directly into chat windows to try and distract peeps going through shitty times.

Favourite pairing you now Stan because of someone's fic.

Virgil/Kayo because of @vegetacide for reasons I have blamed her for multiple times. @the-lady-razorsharp and @weirdburketeer were accessories to the fact.

Favourite headcanon from someone's fic.

Um, Virgil and coffee? I got that from somewhere and it has infiltrated my fic…a lot.

Ultimately, though, I feel most people I interact with contribute to my fic and how I’m feeling. This has been a wonderful experience. I try to return the support as much as I can, but sometimes it is a juggle between writing more, my stupid fluctuating mood, the demands of RL and my own creative drive. I hope I’ve helped a few peeps, because you guys have certainly helped me ::major group hug::

And yes, I hug a lot, because to be honest, I have no other descriptor to communicate how I feel, so you get buckets of hugs :D

Tagging the Thunderfam. Feel free to grab these questions and run with them. You’re all part of the gang whether you write, read, art, gif, screenshot, chat, babble, stare at Virgil all day...I know I do a lot of staring.

Nutty

(Thunderfam rocks!)

Elliot, Just a Tech

Summary: Plagued by not having Admin rights on your work computer, you contact the IT department expecting to talk to your usual guy. However, you are greeted by someone new.

A/N: Consider this post-show

WC: 2596

Warnings: None

You looked over the icons on your desktop for the eleventh time, dragging the old version of Adobe into the trash for the tenth time, and growling with frustration as the error message appeared for what felt like the hundredth time.

Please enter an Administrator’s Username and Password.

After the great email phishing scam the month prior, the IT department had been directed to revoke all employee’s Admin rights to their computers. It wasn’t your fault your colleagues were too dumb to realize that you should not click on email that has been flagged as spam, even if it is a version of your boss’s name: Mattthew Whitman has scheduled a meeting with you at 9 pm!

As if Matthew spelled with three ts wasn’t enough to deter someone, scheduling a meeting at 9 at night should have been, not to mention the exclamation point to top it all off—no one ever enthusiastically scheduled a meeting. Ever.

Alas, no less than 13 people had opened the email, severely compromising the integrity of the network.

You needed to get rid of the old version of Adobe in order for your network’s cloud to allow the download of the updated version, so you were left with no choice but to submit a ticket to the IT department.

You and Matt, no relation to Mattthew your boss, had had several Zoom sessions since the start of the quarantine, mostly thanks to your need to actually get some work done. With so many more people on your network, the IT department was doing the best it could to make sure everyone was achieving basic functionality.

Opening a new work order, you quickly filled in your information and snapped a screen shot of the error message. In less than a minute, you had an email inviting you to a Zoom session.

“Matt’s really on it today,” you said while opening the link and waiting for him to start the session.

You had just glanced away to check your To-Do list when someone opened the Zoom session and you paused, staring at the downturned face of someone who was definitely not Matt.

“Hi,” you greeted awkwardly.

“Hi,” he answered, still not looking into the camera.

“Where’s Matt?”

The stranger looked into the camera, clearly caught off-guard.

“Uh, he’s off today.”

“So they finally unchained him from his desk—good for him!”

The stranger’s eyes widened a little in amusement, but he didn’t smile which caused your grin to quickly fade.

“Are you . . .” the stranger trailed off as he glanced at his other desktop monitor. “Y/N?”

“I am. And you are?”

“Elliot.”

“Are you the new Supervisor they were hiring for last week?”

“Nope. Just a Tech.”

“All right. Well, hi, Elliot, just a Tech. I’m in dire need of installing an update, which I cannot do because my colleagues are dumbasses.”

This time Elliot did smile, and you found yourself reaching up to fix the wild bun on the top of your head, wishing you had actually taken some time out not to look like a troll who had crawled out from under its bridge.

“I see that you can’t install Adobe’s update without administrative permission.”

“Yup. That’s my issue, I think.”

“I want to try something first,” Elliot said, concentrating on the task at hand as he looked away from the camera and to his other monitor.

“Can you locate your system preferences? You can find it by clicking on the appl-“

“Done. What do you want me to go into?”

Elliot looked back into the camera, then gave you a series of steps which you quickly followed.

“I am only semi-illiterate when it comes to technology,” you said, trying again to get him to smile and this time it worked.

Elliot adjusted his headset and lowered his eyes as he grinned. “You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve had to explain over the past few days.”

“Oh, I would absolutely believe them. I’ve talked three people in my department off a ledge just by explaining the magical powers of “Command + Z.”

Elliot chuckled, and the sound of his laughter filtering through the mic on his headset made you want to stay on the call as long as you could stretch it out.

“It looks like the program is not responding. I’ll need to take remote control of your desktop.”

“Have at it.”

You watched as Elliot worked, waiting for your mouse to start moving across the screen, but nothing happened.

“Uh, do you have any error messages on your end?”

“Nope.”

“Let me try one more thing,” Elliot mumbled, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

You sat quietly, letting him work, which gave you an excuse to just look at him and the more you looked at him, the more attractive you realized he was.

Elliot had a stylish haircut, although it looked like his fade had grown in quite a bit thanks to the lockdown. Tufts of straight black hair stood up on either side of his headset and you wondered if they’d be stiff or soft to the touch. His eyes were large, clearly the most enticing of the features of his face, except for his angular jaw that made you softly smile in appreciation of its masculinity. Elliot may consider himself “just a Tech,” but he was a damn good looking one.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you blurted out, forgetting all of your manners thanks to the lack of social interaction.

Elliot fumbled as he was typing and looked into the camera, his lips parted.

“Oh, lord. That came out . . . blunt. I asked because Matt’s been loving working from home. His wife just had a baby and even though he’s chained up in his home office at all hours of the day he still gets to spend time with the people he cares about. Which is what I was trying to ask you—if you were enjoying working from home.” You finished with an awkward laugh, and a barrage of mental curses to yourself.

Elliot’s lip turned up with a quirk. “My sister stops by to bring supplies, but I live alone.”

“Oh—well, that’s nice you have someone to interact with. I still see my sister, too.”

“I like this. Not having to interact with people.”

“The only downside is the verbal vomit you spew when talking to someone new because you no longer understand social protocol.”

Elliot laughed again, that same breathy little chuckle that upgraded from drawing your attention to making you shift in your chair.

“I’ve never been particularly adept at social protocol. Hence . . . just a Tech.”

You laughed and Elliot must have liked the sound because he stopped to watch you, his eyes flicking over your face through the camera.

“You need to update the Zoom app for me to take over your desktop. I don’t know why yours seems to have this glitch, but are you ready for the steps?”

You grabbed your pen and a fresh post-it. “Lay it on me, Tech.”

Elliot smirked, then listed the steps. “I’m going to close the call, but as soon as you’ve completed the steps, click on our Zoom link again.”

“Got it!”

Your eyes connected and lingered for just a moment before Elliot closed out the call.

You missed him immediately.

“Oh, Matt. If I had known Zoom calls could be like this, I’d have dumped you long ago.”

You shook your head to clear it and began to go through the steps Elliot had listed for you. You wanted to get this right to prove to him that you weren’t incompetent.

Having successfully, and quickly, completed all of the steps on your Post-it, you reinitiated the Zoom meeting.

“You’re quick.”

“I’m sure you’re much, much faster,” you said.

“I can only go as fast as the web connection, unfortunately,” Elliot replied, staring into his other monitor again.

“Let’s try this again—remember the steps to give me remote access?”

“I think so . . .” you said, trailing off as you began to click.

You paused, then your mouse began to move without you.

“Excellent job,” Elliot praised and you knew you wanted him to praise you again . . . preferably away from a computer, maybe in a bedroom—

“All right. So I need to delete, reinstall, and wait for an error message that’s been popping up making this a little harder for people to do themselves.”

You watched Elliot control your computer, and once he got to a point where the app was updating, he paused and turned back to the camera.

“About that girlfriend thing you asked me earlier. Are you seeing . . . anyone?”

“I was . . . about six months ago. By the time I was ready to get back on the horse, the plague struck.”

Elliot chuckled. “Not exactly the best time to start dating.”

“No,” you said softly laughing, too. “I agree with you, about the whole nice not seeing people thing, though. For me, it’s more about setting my own schedule. I get so much more done without constant interruptions just to chat.”

“Kinda like we are now?”

“Hey! We are waiting on a signal to go to space and come back. It’s only polite to give it some time so it doesn’t feel like it’s being watched—like a watched pot never boils kinda thing.”

Elliot smiled, his eyes meeting yours and lingering as you smiled back.

A new box popped up breaking your eye contact and Elliot went back to work.

“Fixed. You shouldn’t have to worry about the next update. We’ve been reporting this glitch regularly so the developers should have it fixed by then.”

“Thanks, Elliot. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s my job,” he said with a slight shrug.

“Well, enjoy the rest of your afternoon,” you said, wishing you had a reason to stay connected.

“Yeah.” Elliot replied, looking at you again with those hypnotic, grey-blue eyes. If they could impress you through a screen, imagine what they looked like in person. “You too.”

You smiled at each other and when neither of you closed the call, you both laughed, Elliot looking a little shy and you looking a little embarrassed.

“I’ll close it. Don’t forget to fill in your survey so big brother knows I did my job.”

“Five-star service, all the way!”

Elliot chuckled again, and you shivered this time, the sound of his voice working its way through your entire body, filling you with a pleasant warmth.

“Bye,” he said, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he ended the meeting.

When the session closed out, you began to think of ways to break your computer so you needed to talk to him again, but before you could pull a purposefully dumbass move like downloading a virus, a sticky note popped up on your desktop.

212 555 0179

Probably breaking work protocol, but text me sometime if you want.

~Elliot, just a Tech

“Oh my god!” you gasped, glancing up at your camera to make sure you really were disconnected, unable to shake that feeling like someone was watching you. You reached for your packet of stickers and placed a fresh one over the camera of your computer—better paranoid than sorry!

“Should I text him now? Is that desperate? Or is it mean to make him wait? Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said, pacing around your small office space.

“Just a simple hello,” you decided. “First, gotta find my phone.”

After walking through your apartment, you found your phone in the kitchen, unsurprisingly because snacking had become your favorite hobby since the lockdown began. It was a blessing and curse to be able to eat whenever you wanted.

You took your cell back to your computer and smiled again at Elliot’s virtual Post-it note and typed in his number and contact information.

Hi, Elliot ☺️

Hi, Y/N. I hope your emoji means I didn’t creep you out

That’s what this one 😱 is for

Lol. Got it. I don’t really do the emoji thing. They kinda confuse me

Well then! Maybe that’s why we met? You know all the real techy stuff, and I know all the silly techy stuff. I can teach you to emoji like a boss 😎

Sunglasses = boss? Shades? Because bosses are shady?

🤣more like the shades mean you’re just too cool to care. Like a boss attitude. But actually 🤔that’s a really great analysis!

See? Confusing 👽

Confusing as in no one knows what’s really “out there” huh? Wow. I like your way of emojiying (new word, just go with it)

Lol really?

I do!

Can I ask you something?

Sure

Which emoji makes you think of me?

👀🦋💬🧸🧨 😰📱😃  

You stared at Elliot’s text, a goofy grin on your face as you tried to puzzle out his emoji story. The eyes, okay, but the rest was sort of a mystery.

Lol! I need to do this in pieces so you can tell me if I’m right or wrong

Ok

So, you saw me and thought I was nice? Pretty? Delicate?

Lol pretty

Ok. Thanks, btw. We talked and then, oh boy, this is tough. An exploding bear? Talking to me made you feel like you were going to die? This is not good.

🤣 Poor choice of the firecracker, clearly, but take them as two separate things. What do you associate with a teddy bear?

Um, childhood . . . safety? Protection?

Close! Warm, safe. You seem like a warm, safe person to talk to.

I am grinning like an idiot right now. You are so sweet. But on to the firecracker? Wait! Like sassy? Like I have a firecracker personality?

Yes! You’re funny in a forward, witty way. I guess the “She’s a real firecracker” thing might be a bit outdated.

I LOVE IT. I gotta keep going now. This part is easy, I think. Sooo even though you felt nervous, you took a chance and left me your cell, and now you know it was a good choice because you made me happy.

Almost—when you texted, it made ME happy. Hence 😃 and I have big eyes so I used the big eye happy face.

I.am.dying. That’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done over a text in the history of the world!

Lol. Is there a dramatic emoji because I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is that great.

This WAS great. I’m serious

Do you wanna maybe have dinner over Zoom? God how lame is that?

You respect the quarantine—not lame at all. I’d love to!

They let me unchain myself around 6. I’ll send you a link at 7?

Perfect! But what are we going to order? Shouldn’t we order from the same place to make it more authentic?

Do you like Chinese?

Who doesn’t?

You looked at the location Elliot sent and laughed with the irony that it was your favorite take-out spot.

How did you know that was my favorite take-out spot?

Lucky guess 🤷🏽‍♂️

Well, lucky Elliot who is just a Tech. I’ll “see” you at 7. If we order the same dinner, I’ll consider it a sign that we are meant to take over the world together by eliminating one dumbass’s access to a computer at a time 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

Lol except that would leave me out of a job

We will find you something more meaningful, I promise

Make me a list 😃

You got it! Can’t wait for 7 ☺️

Me either

* * * * *

Tags: @ramimedley @clumsybookworm18 @r-ahh-mi @aboutthatmelancholystorm​ @alottanothing​ @sherlollydramoine​ @txmel​ @diasimar​ @hah0106​ @flipper-kisses​ @rami-malek-trash​ @ramisgirl512​ @dancing-disco-deacy​ @just-a-queen-bee​ @eightiesriot​

Maybe a Part II? 

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

Hey, I just started writing CE fanfic and posted my first ever and I wanted to ask you for some tips on like how you build a community of readers, promote your work, advice for a new fanfic writing, how to stay encouraged etc. Sorry if that seems like a lot haha, answer whatever but I'd love to know what you think.

Heyyy,

Welcome aboard the super talented and fun Chris Evans writing fandom. 

Wow. I am going to try to tackle this, and I hope that it is helpful and useful information. I took the last day or two to attempt to organize my thoughts, so here goes.

-Building A Community of Readers-

*I’d say consistency is a major part of it building readers. Find a way to post regularly, and I mean, what is regular for you and your life. I see people who post a story a day or even 2 stories a day all the time, and I am in awe. For me, that would only happen if I actually put my everything into cranking it out like that. So tweak what is regular for you and try to remain consistent with it.

*Creativity is also essential. You will see 5 similar stories within thirty minutes on this app if you’re searching. Similar in that the idea is relatively the same. That doesn’t mean don’t write it, it just means you now get to put your own spin on it. You get to play with it and be as creative as you can get. I think creativity is super important in fanfic.

*Interaction. You can post all day, every day, but if you’re not interacting with those who read your work, I feel like it defeats the purpose. As much as authors like to get their likes and reblogs and see those comments, a reply to a comment is also something readers want to see. Interact as much as you can, thank them for reading. Show appreciation for them because no one has to read anything. You will also get to know people on more than a URL basis, and that, to me, is really cool.

-Promoting Work-

This is something that I don’t do much of if I do it at all. The most promotion I do is post here, reblog my masterlist and individual work. Within the last year (think it’s coming up), I began posting on Wattpad as well, but I am not as consistent there are I am here. I know some writers are religious on the story sites such as Wattpad, AO3, and Tumblr and will post a link on Tumblr to their Wattpad and AO3 or vice versa. Some even create free websites to put all their work and direct traffic to it. There are so many ways to promote your writing.

I’ve been meaning to look into setting up an IG account and make posts highlighting what I write as well as putting them on my WordPress site. I’ve even been looking into Patreon and how it can work for me as a writer. These are all options you can look into as well. In this tech, era promotion can be as simple and as complicated as you make it—experiment on what works for you.

- Advice For A New Fanfic Writer-

*NEVER EVER EVER EVER compare yourself and your writing to that of someone else. This is like the GOLDEN RULE for me. This is soooo important. There is no better way for you to pigeon hole yourself and your potential and enjoyment on this ride that fanfic writing is. No good will come of this, you won’t feel any better, it will only make you doubt yourself, your ability, and question if you even want to try to do this anymore. Don’t do it!

*Have Fun! I think every one of us started doing this because we thought it would be fun and a nice avenue to explore our creativity. None of us came here like this is a job, and I have to do it. I think it is important to keep that reason forefront in your mind. Write for the fun of it, test limits, and have fun doing it. The minute it stops being fun and starts feeling like an obligation or job, then you need to get back to the root of it. 

*Try to hone your craft. This means yeah write and post but also try to get better at it. None of us are at the pro level where we won’t learn new things or make mistakes. I don’t even think the “pro” published writers are at this level. Take the time to learn more about writing, English, grammar, the power of storytelling, different voices and styles, etc. This can only help you in your fanfic journey as well as your everyday life and future if you decide that you want to venture out of fanfic into self-pub or traditional pub. 

*Write for You. Write what you would want to read. Chances are there are countless other people who are into what you are but just haven’t voiced it. If you wanna make a story about Sam Wilson AU where he is an actual shapeshifting Falcon and he falls in love with a woman who thinks is normal but turns out to be a vigilante by night who has questionable morals and a pet unicorn that is her sidekick, WRITE IT. Don’t think will anyone like this or read it. Write It!

-Staying Encouraged-

This is tough and it’s hard for me to give advice on this because I can tell you how to do it but everyone has to find that thing that works for them to stay encouraged enough to keep going. This is a personal thing for everyone. 

A general answer I can give is when you get discouraged try to remember that nothing happens overnight. It takes time to build something, time, patience, and dedication to build readers or even get better. Try to keep in mind that if you stick to it, it’ll happen. Sort of the equivalent to “If you build it they will come”.

Also, try to look at those who have voiced interest and excitement or even support for you and your writing. It may be fifteen people or even three. Those three to fifteen people found you and really like what you offer, focus on that, wrap yourself in that, and keep going knowing those three to fifteen people will love what you put out.

Don’t focus on the numbers. This means the likes, reblogs, comments, or even followers. Don’t focus on it and get so wrapped up in it that it has power over you to make or break your day. Keep it in the mindset of “if you build it they will come”. It’ll happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are the things that I can think of at the top of my head. I am sure there are other writers who can add on to this with a lot more advice and tips and I welcome anyone who has anything to add on to do so. 

I hope these were helpful. Thank you for the question. 😘

I have so many questions about your WIP folder... like, "BOTTLE"??? and are "BO" and "BOTTLE" two different fics? Also "16. Dreamcatcher!Derek", I'm very intrigued... And since there is a blue moon this month "41. Every Once In A Blue Moon"? (Ignore me it that's too many questions)(though I'd love to know more about your poems, too)

hahahaha, the questions are appreciated :D i actually think that i once posted a thing like this and that exactly this one and the blue moon one where asked for lmaooo but yeah you guessed it, BO and BOTTLE are essentially two different versions of the same fic, one further written than the other, and the other containing more of the initial outlining. It was basically inspired by a story I heard at work (and no longer 100% remember) but it was about finding romance via letters in bottles in modern times or something? I think there was a person who regularly found letters and decided to reply to people who had added an address, and so i naturally wanted to sterek it, like i do with basically everything, and I started writing a fic about Derek living in a basically deserted light house and finding the letter that Stiles addressed to his mother and threw into the ocean. I had a whole long storyline planned out for this! I believe there was even bottles with letters Derek had written to his family that came back to him and he stored away forever to be unread (until Stiles comes along ofc). But another version was that Derek never did anything about the letters, just read them, and there were ofc a bunch of sad ones. (Derek stored the all ofc). there’s diff save files with diff versions (and i believe two different files that have the initial idea i screamed at someone while at work) and in one version I’m pretty sure Stiles was a mermaid like Ariel that collected bottled messages and then found Derek through his letters (who once again probably lived in a lighthouse by the ocean) but that was like at least 4 years ago if not more and i hate mermaids now so that version is absolutely scratched lol I didn’t get really far with any version in written word though and I doubt I will ever really finish it? I mean who knows... but I could totally get all the way into my feels again thinking about it if i let myself... You’re in luck my friend, bc Every Once in a Blue Moon actually contains a part of a poem (i was gonna write a long story poem that would be split upon the separate scenes/parts of the fic) and the fic actually starts with this: //Where wolves run, hunters lie Chasing, chasing Till they all die/ I'm a wolf, my pack is dead My eyes are blue I should have died instead/ To all the mermaids of the sea I'm waiting here Come and take me// as you can see, this too contains mermaids bc i started writing this yeears ago but I’ve decided to transform this fic and actually did continue writing a bit (or well, mor accurately, planning) and it’s now just titled Evil in a different file lmao bc the mermaids are gonna be evil and will represent Kate bc why didn’t i think of that in the first place? as one can see in the poem, it includes a young and pretty suicidal Derek and he goes back to his family’s old vacation home that is now destroyed, and there are memories, good and bad, in particularly one of Peter’s first son, a little boy, completely human, which had perplexed Derek. It includes Derek asking the relentless ocean and horizon /why/ things happen and never getting a reply, and basically him giving himself to the ocean, to the mermaid that impersonates Kate (bc ofc Kate already happened and everyone is dead) and she makes him see her and the torture again (I live for angst, forgive me) BUT then in comes Stiles and saves Derek from drowning and helps him heal. This is kind of a mixture of an au, a different world, with canon as we know it in TW and last but not least! Dreamcatcher!Derek ahhhh This one has always been in my head more conceptually than actually formed into words. It’s basically Derek after the fire and stuff, where he kind of just gives himself to supernatural powers (do we see a theme here *ehem*), he basically kinda loses himself to his nightmares, becomes so used to them, lives in them, he kind of transcends into the dream world? I had a few rough years full of nightmares every night so this idea was just very deep for me back then. And then Derek would go around to other people’s dreams and fight the monsters in the dreams. He was just like an instrument then, helping other people to get some rest, while he worked restlessly. I guess it’s based kinda on lucid dreaming, breaking free from your body and reality. For Derek it’s like... yeah nightmares are /horrible/, he knows best, this is why he does this, but for him personally... they’re better than real life. So he just kind of gives his physical body up and retreats to his mind. This is where Stiles finds him (*hint hint*). Aka Stiles is having nightmares, and Derek comes to him to save him. Of course, Stiles being Stiles is very aware of the shadowy figure that pops up in his dreams and changes everything, and Stiles being Stiles he starts chasing Derek, and Derek is so confused bc most people don’t interact with him in their dreams, certainly not the way Stiles does. So then basically Stiles is the one who catches Derek and brings him back out of the dreamworld, back to real life, back to himself. ...and they live happily ever after in every universe <3 hah sorry if this ended up way too long XD i guess i’m happy to share my ideas bc they might not ever present themselves in fic form ahhh so THANK YOU for getting back into these and letting me amuse myself haha

Some Improbable Season 5 Headcanons

Fair warning: These things aren’t going to happen. But while I’m obsessing, I sometimes imagine possible scenarios that would be interesting to watch play out. Perhaps a more industrious person would write these into fanfiction however, I am not that person. And so you get a half-assed  Tumblr post about my imaginings. Please enjoy:

1. What happened to the sword? I don’t remember, I just know that it broke and now Adora is unable to become She-Ra (Until she inevitably learns how to do so without the sword as Madame Razz was clearly insinuating was possible to Mara) But I like to imagine that she lef the pieces of the broken sword where they lay. I also like to imagine  a scenario in which Hoard Prime has his clone minions doing recon on the new planet and they find the pieces of the sword. Later, they bring them back to the ship. 

Skip to a scene where Catra and Glimmer are present, perhaps being questioned about someone his troops have heard about called She-Ra, a defender of this planet. He wonders aloud if this She-Ra will be someone he will have to contend with, only to have one of his troops present the broken pieces of the sword. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about anything like that, Sir. I have it on good authority that there is no more She-Ra” (Or something like that Idk how they talk) He smiles, meanwhile Catra and Glimmer poorly try to conceal their reactions. They have both been operating under the assumption (hope) that since the planet survived, that Adora did too. Not knowing that Adora shattered the sword herself, tey are now faced with the horrifying realization that perhaps Adora didn’t make it out of this and that for both of them, their last interaction was horrible. 

I like the miguided assumption that Adora has died, mostly because I want to torture the two of them a little for being butts, but also because often people don’t appreciate what they have until they lose it. Even having “lost” Adora like Catra did, she still saw her regularly. They still interacted, even if those interactions were fighting or exchanging snarky banter. Even if someone hates you (Which Adora clearly doesn’t, Catra, you’re just being self destructive)  that hatred is still a form of ackowledgement- It’s not the same as losing someone entirely. I want to see the two of them (But mostly Catra because she’s my favorite little disaster) forced to face with the reality of Adora’s “death” Especially since in Catra’s case it’s sort of like getting what you asked for and realizing that it wasn’t what you wanted at all. 

I want Glimmer specifically to witness Catra’s reaction to this news as a way of gaining a deeper understanding of the relationship between the two of them. I feel like Glimmer has never viewed Catra as very nuanced, instead just grouping her into a box, labeling it “villain” and calling it a day. Realistically she’s never had any reason to consider any of the layers of Catra’s character but I kind of find it odd considering that Adora used to be best friends with Catra. Has Glimmer really never wondered why? Never thought that somewhere under all the snark and barbs there must be a reason why Adora loved her  was her friend in the first place? 

Lastly, I’m a sucker for a dramatic entrance, and if they think that Adora is dead, they’d never expect her to show up, which leads to self indulgent imaging number two...

2. Sneaky spy Adora. I feel like I am perhaps giving Adora and Bow too much credit here because espionage has never really been their strong suit, but imagine for me if you will a scenario in which they decide to be subtle. The two of them sneak onto Hoard Prime’s ship and do some spy work, trying to decide on the best course of action to take him out and get Glimmer home. This would be a great opportunity to give Adora a much needed costume change and while realistically I know that the whole vibrant 80′s theme isn’t going to allow it, I would love to see her in black. Also something backless, but that comes into play later in part three. This all ties together. I’ve had a lot of time to plan this. 

So they sneak in and while like, peering out from an air vent or something (Idk the make up of the ship ) she is shocked to see that Catra is there too and that while she and Glimmer still snap at eachother and exchange dirty looks and stuff, they are reluctantly working together. I imagine their situation is sort of like, they come out and do various activities on the ship, whatever Hoard Prime deems them useful for, but they are locked in a cell overnight. Adora observes both situations while trying to get the layout of the ship and formulate a game plan.

I’m not going to say that Bow having actual real live pointy arrows made for long distance stabbing would be an advantage instead of his like, novelty prank arrows buuuuuut..... I know that this is a kid’s show but there are other cartoons that allow characters to get stabbed and stuff like, it could happen. It won’t buuuut anyway....

While running around the ship (in a dramatic hooded cloak that covers her face because of course, what do you take me for) and like, sabotaging things and preparing to dismantle this whole operation, Adora runs into perhaps both Catra and Glimmer but at least Catra (Because sorry Glimmer, I do actually like you but like, I’m playing favorites hardcore here) Maybe she helps with something they’re trying to do and gets caught. They don’t realize it’s her but now this mysterious hooded figure is on their radar. And then when the actual attack happens Adora gets her big reveal and it’s super dramatic and they realize that not only is Adora alive, she was the one they met earlier and just. I’m trash for that kind of trope. Really I am. This then leads into the big battle which also leads into point number three...

3. This point is less concrete, but do you remember Adora’s backless number? Perhaps a black halter top of some kind paired with black pants? Yeah? This is why it’s important. When Adora and Bow finally make their move, Bow goes to rescuse the girls while Adora levels her attack on Hoard Prime. Catra and Glimmer are in their cell and hear alarms start going off. They startle, frustrated at being trapped and unable to know what’s happening outside.

 Then Bow shows up in his own dramatic black hooded cloak (He’s very happy to shed it and let his middrift free once more. It’s felt very unnatural) they’re shocked to see him. But like, it works because Catra probably knew that someone would come for Glimmer but it makes since that it would be Bow since Adora is “dead.” Maybe in a previous conversation (During the time in which the two hesitantly began bonding, because you can’t tell me that’s not where this is going) Glimmer expressed doubt that anyone would come for her after she did such a terrible job being queen. Anyway with Bow here, he and Glimmer hug and they make their escape, the three of them, during which someone questions Bow on what’s happening and he just says that Hoard Prime is being distracted.

Why is the rescue mission just Bow and Adora? Idk. Didn’t think that far ahead. Just go with it. Maybe the other princesses are waiting for their cue to join in later. Maybe it’s because there isnt any water or plants in space and they’re kinda useless. Maybe Entrapta will join in (She has to actually, so she can reunite with Hordak and then he has his whole amnesia thing but like, that’s not part of this. That is a seperate post) Anyway the important thing is that they aren’t here at this point. 

So, Catra and Glimmer are confused about who is distracting Hoard Prime and then, there we go. The dramatic entrance. They look and see Adora in her new outfit, mid-battle with Hoard Prime. And like. It’s a hard battle and she isn’t really making any progress on her own, but she’s fighting really hard and well. I feel like people often forget that Adora was top of her class back in the Hoard like, even if she isn’t She-Ra she’s got to be pretty bad ass and whether the show wants to explore this or not, I will.  I have a theory for this that I will expand on in just a bit. 

So they go to join her only to realize that theres like an invisible barrier preventing them from joining. Maybe it’s a security measure made to protect him from attack that she used to trap her in there with him, while simultaneously keeping his minions out. Maybe it’s just because I want Catra and Glimmer to be forced to watch this battle for a bit while Bow tries to disable the force field but it’s mostly because I’m shipping trash and I want Catra to observe two things.

The first is that Adora looks really cool in this new outfit. Also Adora’s hair is down because I like it that way. She has a new sword, one that’s just a sword and not a She-Ra sword. This one is just for wrecking shit. The second is that Adora is way better at fighting than Catra expected and when Catra expresses this sentiment Glimmer just looks at her like she’s fucking dumb and says something along the line of “I kind of assumed you were the brains of the Hoard, but you’re dumber than I thought if you think that Adora was ever ACTUALLY trying to hurt you.” Followed by, “It’s a shame you didn’t return the sentiment.” And then you get this moment of Catra just watching Adora being really kick ass, coming to terms with the fact that Adora never fought ALL OUT against Catra the way she is against Hoard Prime, like, Adora never tried to murder Catra. And then the last part of Glimmer’s statement sinks in and then Catra notices the claw marks scarred down Adora’s shoulderblades. The ones that she put there, because even if Adora never really tried to hurt Catra, Catra sure as hell never held back on her. And then Catra feels like shit because while I absolutely love her to pieces, she’s been kind of horrible and I want her to suffer a little more before her redemption. 

See why the backless top was necessary? Yep. Good. 

Anyway, predictably Bow lowers the barrier and they join the fight. Maybe Adora takes a bad hit and then Catra catches her or soemthing. The two look at eachother, both realizing that it’s been too long since they fought on the same side, but also silently acknowledging how good it feels. This is meant to foreshadow Catra eventually joining the good side permanantly. They all fight Hoard Prime and maybe the other princesses join in, but since this isn’t the final episode  (Maybe like episode 4 or so?) they don’t defeat him. But they DO do some damage and excape back to Etheria. 

5. This one fits in somewhere before the last point but idk where exactly. Honestly it’s not even important where this snippet goes but at some point Hoard Prime reads Catra’s mind. I don’t know if cannonically he can only read his clone’s minds, but clearly I’m not writing for the show okay, this is my pointless headcanon. I don’t even know the context but Glimmer is there too and Hoard Prime, maybe having grown suspicious of Catra’s loyalty, reads her mind and just drags her. He kind of taunts her for beign sad that her “mother never loved you” to which she snaps like “Shadow Weaver is NOT my mother.” And he just tuts and is like “But it feels like she is.”  And then they get to Adora  and Catra says something about hating her and he calls her out on it like, “Hm no, that’s not quite right is it? No, you love her quite a bit” And then he does that villain thing where they’re kind of talking to themself while filing through your thoughts and it’s like “She would be like your sister after all but oh, whats this? Oh, so not like a sister after all.” And he like, puts her on blast for being in love with Adora. And she denies it and he replies with “A shame you don’t actually mean half the things you say.”

Meanwhile Glimmer is there witnissing it because I don’t know if you can tell yet but like, I really want her to have a better understanding of Catra. I want Catra to understand Glimmer too, but I feel like that’s possible without physically dragging the truth from her like.... she’s not in a great place mentally but no one is worse than Catra, lets be real.

That’s absolutely the most self indulgent part of this entire mile-long post and I don’t even know what you’re doing still reading this. But if you were wondering what I imagine going down, it’s this.

All my imaginings end in Catradora, because I am shipping trash.

So like, if anyone wants to write this out just tag me so I can see it, because I’d love to read it. But if not? Totally understandable. I’m more suprised you read it all because it is 100% a  self-indulgent conglomoration of all my favorite tropes, shoved together whether they make sense or not. 

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survey by tater-tots What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? Hahahaha. That’s a pass for me; I can’t imagine regularly eating fruit at any set time of the day.

Do you enjoy any food combinations that others might consider to be weird? I like to eat fish with mayonnaise, which was always normal in our household but I realized was weird when I first saw the horrified expressions on my friends’ faces when they saw me use the combination. I like mayonnaise with a lot of other foods as well, which a lot of people generally find weird.

What is a green vegetable that you enjoy eating? Broccoli and asparagus.

Name something you might find in a salad. In my salad, you’ll always find tuna sashimi in it heh.

What is your favorite type of sandwich? Anything that’s like an Eggs Benedict or Monte Cristo. 

Which condiment do you use the most often? Mayo, for sure. Banana ketchup too. I also like sriracha sauce but my dad hasn’t been buying a new bottle of it for a while. 

Name a chocolate bar that you enjoy eating. It’s called Whittaker’s - just not sure what country it hails from; maybe Australia? - and I like their peanut butter variant. Google also told me it’s a New Zealander brand.

What is a meat that you do not eat - ever. Dog or cat.

Are you lactose intolerant, or have any other sort of food allergies? I’m mildly lactose intolerant but I ignore it because a lot of my favorite foods use dairy. Other than that, no food allergies.

What was the last food that you burnt your mouth on? Just plain rice, haha. I had been extremely hungry and I just wanted to dig in; but I ended up spitting it back out.

Which brand of soup do you eat? I don’t regularly have soup, much less buy canned brands of it. 

What are some flavors of ice cream that your enjoy? Cookies and cream, mint chocolate, coffee, chocolate chip cookie dough, queso real.

What is the best type of cookie, in your opinion? I like keeping things classic when it comes to cookies, and I’ve always been perfectly happy with chocolate chip cookies :)

Would you rather have popcorn, pretzels, or chips as your salty snack? Chips. I dislike the other two as I only like the softer, doughy version of pretzels.

Have you thought about going on a diet & actually went through with it? No.

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survey by pinkchocolate

When you woke up today, was there anything on your mind? Kinda. I felt sad and I was aware of it instantly, compared to most days where the sadness will take a while to build.

Who was the last person you interacted with for the first time? Literally speaking, maybe the barista at Starbucks who took my temperature at the entrance before I was let in the store. I interacted with her yesterday.

What colour was the wrapper of the last snack you ate? White. It’s more of a tiny bag than a wrapper, though.

Do you have a favourite mug to drink from? What does it look like? Yeah, I’ve since claimed my mom’s mug for myself. It’s a copper mug with the Starbucks label on it. It looks super minimalist which I appreciate.

What was the last thing you used, that came in a spray can? It was a Lysol spray.

What colour is your favourite bra? Don’t really have one.

Who was the last person you went to for advice about something? I think it was Andi. I’ve been going to them a lot for help, advice, extra sanity, etc. lately. If it hasn’t been for them I probably would’ve left a few months back.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone lately? Yes. I finally met up with Gab yesterday to discuss a lot things, iron some stuff out, figure out where to go from here.

What was the last compliment you recall receiving from someone? I’m not sure, I haven’t been receiving any.

And the last compliment you gave to someone else? It was most likely a compliment for Andi on how helpful they’ve been to me.

What kind of bread did you eat most recently? Flatbread.

What was the last sound you heard, that you found pleasant? We were watching a mass livestream earlier and I was delighted when they played the closing song.

How many books do you think there are in your house? Take a rough guess. I would guess around 60, the overwhelming bulk of them mine.

Of all the books you own, which do you think has the most pages in it? It would definitely either be Gone with the Wind or Les Miserables, but I’m not sure which one is thicker.

^ And how many pages is that? I checked both of my copies and they’re soooo close – GWTW has 1,440 pages while Les Mis has 1,463.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? What did you think of it? Knives Out. I went to the mall yesterday and the cinemas were still closed, so it’s not like I’d be able to watch new movies at theatres anyway. Anyway, I’ve been vocal about the movie enough times on my surveys but I didn’t enjoy it. Whodunnits were never my cup of tea, but Gab had wanted to see it and I didn’t want to make her watch the film alone.

In the last book you read, what was the main character's name? Haven’t been reading.

What was the last song you heard, that meant something to you? Lose by Niki.

How many people do you know whose name begins with Z? I can only recall one such person at the moment; it’s one of my mom’s aunts who also doubled as a principal sponsor for my mom and dad’s wedding.

What do you expect to be doing at this time tomorrow? Maybe doing my embroidery (my package finally arrived!!) or surveys or watching Start-Up, because tomorrow will be a holiday :)

--

survey by luckforlemmy

Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death? I can remember that there was definitely a brief period after his death that I caught up with his discography and listened to MJ nearly everyday; I read up on him and his life as well. 11 year old me figured he must’ve been an interesting figure because of the big reception around his death, so I wanted to know the reasons behind it.

When was the last time that you played hide and seek? I can vividly remember the day when Nina and I played hide and seek when the house was newly-built and still devoid of furniture, back in maybe ‘07 or ‘08. I’m fairly certain that was the last time I played hide and seek.

Who was your first celebrity crush, if you can remember? It was a tie between Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron, though the older I get the more I’ve been convinced that I ‘crushed’ on Zac only because I was surrounded by girls who went crazy over him in school. I’m pretty sure my first real celebrity crush was Ashley, hahaha.

Do you worry about money? Yeah, especially now. I can’t even enjoy my first paycheck because most of it’s gonna go to Christmas presents, but oh well; at least I can finally buy gifts for my loved ones who’ve always gotten me presents.

Have you ever had to beg for a second chance? Kind of, when I was trying to convince Gab to let our relationship have another shot four years ago. Beg is a strong word for what I actually did, though. It was more of me pitching the idea, not begging.

When was the last time that you sent an actual letter through the mail? I don’t think I even ever did that, not even when I was younger and snail mail was still kind of a thing.

Are you excited to return to school? There’s nothing to return to anymore. Unless I decided to take up a post-grad course in the future, I’m done with school.

Do you hate Internet abbreviations? It can just feel a bit jarring when they’re used excessively in a single sentence, but I honestly don’t mind it for the most part. It’s understandable especially now that most, if not all, of my interactions whether personal or for work happen online.

What was the last insult you gave out? I was never really the roasting type of person, not even towards my friends.

What'd you last look up on YouTube? Hahaha I looked up ‘skynwallz.’ I was looking for the episode of Rhett and Link’s vlogs where they painted the rooms of their offices in the color of their entire person – hair, eyes, and skin. They were joking about starting a new business for it called Skynwallz, so that’s what I looked up.

Are you texting someone really awesome right now? No, I prefer to be alone today.

Do you know when to be serious and when you shouldn't be? Er sure, it’s not that hard.

Do you think that you're funny? I like my sense of humor, yeah, but I know it’s not always going to translate to everybody’s tastes. For example, I’m still figuring out the dynamic in the team I was put in at work, so I can’t make the same jokes that I would normally say with my co-interns with whom I have a more comfortable relationship.

Have you ever sent a secret to Post Secret? I don’t know what this is, so no.

What movie do you really want to see in theatres right now? They aren’t showing anything at the moment. A movie I want to see badly, though, is Ammonite.

Have either of your parents shown affection for you today? My mom made breakfast for us, if it counts. She also gives each of her kids a kiss during the peace-giving portion at mass, so there’s that as well.

What's the last thing that you sang out loud? I watched Start Up before this survey and was humming to the song that was being played at the end of the episode. I couldn’t sing along to it because it was in Korean, but I knew the melody so I hummed.

Is there a word that you always misspell? Rhythm is one of my worst enemies for sure. I also have a love-hate relationship with accommodate.

What was the last thing that you bought that someone else benefited from? I met up with Gabie yesterday and bought her her favorite meal from Yabu to break the ice – menchi katsu with brown rice. I originally got mozzarella sticks for myself but when we got to talking, she mentioned her sisters at one point; I remembered how much I miss them, so I gave up my food and told her to just give my food to her sisters since I hadn’t touched it yet anyway.

Has someone ever made you a really great mix CD? Andi gave me one before she made the flight to New Zealand 10 years ago to permanently live there. I believe I still have it, but I’m just not sure where it currently is.

Have you ever been on Omegle.com? Yes, when I was a teenager and it was new.

Did you talk to someone cool there? Not really; most seem to exit our chat after we did the whole asl thing. I also avoided the webcam option because my anxiety for video calls has always been present.

What song reminds you of your best friend? Any song by The Maine.

Who was the last person to hit on you? Some creep on Facebook.

What's on the paper nearest you? It’s the guide for my embroidery kit. It tells me what stitches to do and the colors of thread to use for the different parts of the template I was provided with.

Do you have a set of lyrics that you really love? From Paramore’s Pool: “As if the first cut wasn’t deep enough, I dove in again ‘cause I’m not into giving up Could’ve gotten the same rush from any lover’s touch, But why get used to something new When no one breaks my heart like you” I scream those lyrics every time they come on. I know I often showed the good, shiny side of my relationship on these surveys; but it was very much toxic at a lot of points and those lyrics - and that song - served as a nest for me, something that told me someone understands how I sometimes felt about my own relationship.

Did you get an A in your last English class? I got a 1.25 instead of a perfect 1.00, but I think that’s still equivalent to an A so yes.

What did you last use scissors for? Cutting thread.

Did you ever secretly hate a friend of yours that thought you liked them? That makes me sound shitty lol, but yeah I’ve acted nicely to people I don’t particularly like.

What do you think of when I say "boat"? That episode of Friends where Joey bought himself a boat at an auction; and Canadian accents.

Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve? Nope. I planned on getting one as a teenager, but I grew out of that phase.

Do you know any really fake people? Yep. I think everyone’s got to be at some point.

What does the last blanket you used look like? It’s pink and has multi-colored polka dots on it.

Do you have appreciation for graffiti? Sure, especially if it’s for political purposes (that I agree with).

Why don't you drive? I do. I just have done it a lot less because I have had little need for driving and traveling to places throughout the pandemic.

Does it annoy you when your printer runs out of ink? I think we have the kind of printer that never runs out of ink, but I’m not exactly sure about the terminologies or how the technology works. I let my sister do the printing hahaha.

Have you ever drank anything from a thermos? Yes, mostly water and coffee.

When was the last time you played in the snow? Never.

Do you know any ignorant people? Sure, mostly Gen X-ers and Boomers.

What is the coolest name you've ever heard? Thylane.

What did you last argue with someone about? Relationship stuff. It wasn’t a full-blown argument, but when Gab and I talked yesterday it was natural for us to disagree on a few points.

Is there anyone that you dislike for no real reason? Hmm, I don’t think so. If I feel that strongly about someone, I usually have a reason otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to them.

Have you had a good day? It was okay; it was nice. I got to do my embroidery hoop art thing, got to watch a couple episodes of Start Up, played with Cooper, and now I’m doing these surveys and am planning to continue my embroidery later. It’s nice to feel productive about non-work things :)

Are you going to have a good night? I hope.

Networking 101

Alright, ladies & gents. I’m going to dish on my experience about ... NETWORKING. Honestly, it was and is a scary word for me. I always felt like “well, the job should go to whoever is most qualified” and didn’t really like networking... But IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, JOIN ‘EM. Well, sorta.

I’ve realized that networking, when done correctly, WILL ALWAYS BENEFIT YOU. So why not at least attempt it?! Plus, everyone is SO. FRIENDLY. AND. WELCOMING. TO. COLLEGE. STUDENTS. AND. NEW. GRADUATES. (just young people in general). I’m serious. People really appreciate you taking the time to poke around and learn about the field, and since you’re a student/newly graduated/young, they’re even more willing to help out.

Mid-last month, I decided to actively try networking. First, I made sure my LinkedIn profile was all updated & perfectly polished. Then, I went on LinkedIn and started typing the positions I’d be interested in having after graduation. I would scan a few profiles, but the ideal person would have:

New to mid-level work experience. Relatively new to the field (think fresh college graduates in their first job post-college) to mid level experienced (10 years or less). This made them feel approachable to me. I didn’t want to talk to a CEO when I was just dipping my toes in the water! I just wanted to get some idea of the job, the market, and the industry. Start small! 

Working (or worked) at companies I was interested in, or had an accomplished career path

Bonus if they went to the same college I went to! Whoo, a mutual interest. That way, you can personalize your message with “Go Bears!” or whatever your college mascot is. They’re more likely to respond to a personalized message.

Bonus if they seem active in the field. You can tell this if they’re in any professional organizations, for example.

Bonus if they use LinkedIn regularly! If they’re never on LinkedIn, well, chances are low they’ll reply to your message.

Once I found a suitable match, I’d connect with them AND INCLUDE A PERSONALIZED MESSAGE. There’s a character limit, so you gotta be short & sweet. Include a greeting, an introduction, some sort of similarity you have with them, and why you’re reaching out.

Something along the lines of this would work well:

Hi Bob! I'm an incoming UCSB grad student (Go Gauchos!) & interested in working in finance. I noticed you work at Bank of America as a Financial Analyst. Would you be willing to have a quick phone call? I'd love to hear about your experience & any insight you may have! ^^Change the bolded text to match your scenario.

To be honest, I was expecting most people to ignore my message. I mean, why would they give up 30 minutes of their time to help someone they’ve never met?!?!? Right?!?! But to my surprise, out of the 8 people I messaged, only two never responded. The other 6 responded and said “sure!” ???? Wow, people are nice. All 8 of the calls were super helpful (some more than others, tbh) and made me feel like, “damn I can’t believe I called a stranger and networked!” Other little tidbits:

Plan for the calls to be about 30 minutes. In my experience, this has been a good length of time for calls -- not too short, and not too long. And honestly, anything over 30 minutes for a call with a stranger may feel like you’re imposing on their time! Of course, if the conversation is going well and you both are willing to talk longer, go for it!

Schedule the call soon after they’ve accepted a call - maybe within the next week or two max. 

Always start off the call by thanking them. Start by saying “Hi XX! It’s XX. I just want to first off, say thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to help answer my questions about the xx field.”

End the call by thanking them again. 

After the call, thank them in writing (this can be via email or LinkedIn if that’s how you communicated). This can be a little optional in my opinion, since you literally thanked them on the phone two seconds ago, but still.

Make sure you have a list of questions prepared and some background of your field. While the point of these calls is to learn more about the field and help you explore your options, you should already have some knowledge about the field. Trust me, I’ve learned through trial and error that man, is it awkward when there’s pauses in the conversation! Also, people can help you more when you have an idea of which subfields you’re interested in versus if you had literally NO idea.

Remember: they’re not going to give you a job. I saw this on a LinkedIn post and it was saying something along the lines of “How would you feel if a friend asked you to lunch? And then said, ‘Oh yeah, I’m single by the way.’ You’d feel uncomfortable and put on the spot right? That’s how I feel when people ask me for a job on our networking calls.” Interesting, right?  The point of these networking calls is to explore and learn more about the company/position/industry/opportunities. It’s not a one-way ticket to a new job and please change your mentality if it is!

Take notes! I personally have a tracking spreadsheet to keep track of the people I’ve reached out to/networked (columns include: Name, Position, Company, Date Reached Out, Responded? Y/N, Phone Call? Y/N, Phone Call Date, Contact Information, Met [where did I meet them, etc], & Notes [of the person/interaction; not of the phone call]). I have a separate notebook where I physically write down notes of the phone call. Just my own personal style.

Another perk of LinkedIn networking is that it’s all through a phone! No in-person interaction (yet, at least)! So I’m calling them from the comfort of my own room and it’s not as nerve-racking! It’s as easy as: 1) Finding a connection 2) Sending a personalized message 3) Call them & have a set list of questions! I mean, obviously if you happen to meet them in person later, at least you’ll already have a phone call with them and it’s not as awkward, ya feel?  Here are my some of my go-to questions:

What skills or courses do you think would be beneficial? What skills do you use a lot of in your work? [List some skills you think might be beneficial here]

I’m wondering about the process of being certified/getting licensed in XX. What’s your take on this for this field?

What are the different subfields within this field? I know of xx, xx, xx...

What are good professional organizations to join relating to this field?

What’s the difference between working in public versus private sector in this field?

Would you say networking is important in this field?

I want to share some of my results of networking:

Discovered TWO new professional organizations to join

Joined a newsletter and found out about an organization looking for committee members & applied (tbh idk if I made it in, still TBD)

Found out about scholarship opportunities 

Found out about a mentorship opportunity in one of the professional organizations (which had a deadline just around the corner!)

Cemented my list of companies that are reputable/well-known for the work I’d like to work on

Learned more about the hiring processes at various companies

... and much more!

I would encourage everyone to reach out & try to network! What do you have to lose, right?! 

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

Chris Love Letter

In theory it is like follow forever posts, but Love Letter felt more fitting~

It’s also been forever since I’ve done something like this, it’s high time I bury with love people!

Do know I’m honestly awkward with this kind of thing, my mind likes to blank out when I try to actually word compliments. Taking my time helped, but yeah, the Chris is awkward with words, would you believe that.

Read more because, as you might guess, it got long.

Organizing was hard because the “lines” are very thin, and everyone in this list has made a different impact on me. You’re all people I’m happy to have met, and enjoy whichever level of interaction we have~

Heart Family

Those who carved their way deep into my heart~

@skyfullofashes : We’ve called each other pack for a while now (and gosh I dont even recall how it was before knowing you), I’m so happy to know you and anytime I hear about anyone who hurt you, past or present, I feel my inner dragon twitch. You’re so lovely, you’ve been there for me so often, and I wish more people took the time to get to know you, you’ve been hurt so often and I deeply wish for you to receive love, I’m certainly going to make sure you never forget you’re part of my family. You’re loyal, you don’t take nonsense, and we’re both exactly the kind of people who can be hurt by others, find ourselves in situation where, for some reasons, others will hurt us. But that’s why we understood each other very early, and why I’ll do my best to always be there for you <3 Don’t get me started on how creative you are, especially with Heaven&Hell. I feel like I’ll never know enough, and I’ll always want to hear more about it, and all your ideas. I still feel awed at how much our Kanda&Allen developped, how much I love our Yullen, and melt at all the family feels with Michael and everyone.

@ask-cross-marian : I feel like we know each other so much, yet it is fun to realize that most that we know of each other, slipped through as we spazzed and chat and yelled about our muses. It feels so nice and so natural, how we just, slotted into place, as rp partners and as friends. I legit can’t remember a time I didn’t know you. You’ve certainly been there for me quite a few times, and I do hope I’ve given to you back, and that you know you are part of those I hold dearest and I’ll always be there for you. We’re both hilariously able to poof away for a while, and yet we always come back, and this is such a nice feeling. I love when you talk about your muses&OCs, and all our interactions make me a puddle of melted fluff. We also often ended up joking around, and I adore this so much!

@piamio : Sometimes I still recall when I was following you, thinking about I’d love to befriend you, and I marvel that it did happen, that we started talking and connected so well together. You always do your best, to feel you improve, to feel you’re doing better, and I see it happen and hope you can see it too. You’ve always been good, but I’ve seen you notice things, realize things, and I’m happy for you, and wish you the best. You’re a lovely person, a great artist, you’re creative, you have ideas for stories as much as you have talent for arts, and talent that seem within us is great, but you’ve also worked hard for your talents and you should never forget that. I feel offended for you when anyone so much as suggests you aren’t doing enough, or not doing well. I want to take them, shake them, and have them see you as I see you.

@alteriius: Among my heart family, I do believe we’ve known each other longest (no, no, I didn’t totally checked my archive to make sure; as it is its indeed in the first two/three weeks I had made Allen’s blog that we started threading!). It’s always been easy talking with you, and you’ve always made me feel safe. We’ve joked together, vented together, helped each other, and sometimes I still spazz with the hope&wish you’ve felt as happy knowing me as I am knowing you. I’ve lost contact with a lot of people once they stopped rping, and so I felt glad when it didn’t happen with us; but then again, I already knew long ago that to rp or not rp woudln’t change anything. I find it very funny, in a good way, that at some point we shifted to the group chat and stayed there, when I want to share with you I share with you both. Sometimes we’ve used our 1x1 chat I think? But yeah, its so fun how we just, went there and stayed there. That might be because we’ll tend to spazz a lot, and we happily spazz us three.

@skytroops : Gosh, I have to wonder, how many years has it been since we first met? I know I made Satoshi years ago for the first time, and I guess the best way to guess is whether or not you’ve known me when I was still in college, or recently out of college. My bet, however, is that we met somewhere in 2013. I certainly recall, however, how much fun we’ve always had speaking about our muses, about our verse, how much we built together, so much that even now, TR!Satoshi still exist as a muse (if now small). And even with hiatus, we never stopped coming back at each other. I hope you know you’re friend for life, someone I very much took under my wing and into my pack <3

Dear Friends

Those who I deeply appreciate and care about, not far from being heart family too~

@chibi-usapyon : We’ve gotten along so well, and it’s so fun how much we can chat about anything and everything. You’re so, lively and friendly, it feels like you have every positive/fun way of approaching, the way you chat always make me feel like you are a bubble of happy energy. It feels like we’ve been bonding well and it’s gotten stable, like you know, the initial thrill has shifted to a calmer thrill. I do have a hard time opening up, and because people have often be friendly, I don’t quite realize I’m considered a friend until I’m told. I’ve always enjoyed our chatting, I knew I wanted to chat with you more, but when you first clearly told me you saw me as a friend, I paused and felt a bubble of happiness. You’re my friend too, and I’m glad we met!

@lascivus : Can we take a moment to tease a certain person about how I’m pretty sure we’ve known each other more through our common friend than by chatting? We’re admitedly both shy, and I can recall at the start, I was shy to chat with you, and in the group chat. But soon enough, and totally through nerding, it just felt natural. That’s probably why I always end up in the group chat, I want to share with you as much as I share with Allen and so, group chat! But I do know you, through chatting and twitter and dash, and I’m awkwardly bad at realizing if someone consider me so, but I hope you don’t mind that I call you a dear friend~

Lovely people

Those I know in various degrees, that I’m glad to have met, who I love when I chat with them, and simply to see them~

@avellaturortem : You’re one of the few people that I’ve rped with for a while who is still around, and I’m super glad we still regularly talk, and I enjoy so much our threads, all the ideas we’ve thrown at each other. If you ever need, I’ll always be happy to listen to you about anything~

@manadcampbellrpblog : You’re such a sweetie, and I’ve seen how you sometimes feel shy to speak to me, but I hope you know you can always talk to me, and come back to me. I’ll always be happy to see your replies, but more importantly I’m glad to chat with you. You’ve always been very sweet, and I can practically feel how nervous not being an english speaker make you. I still recall when english wasn’t as easy as it is now, but never be afraid to speak and try and learn!

@shensheng-aoman : Listen, I don’t think we quite expected for Talon&Allen to slay us with adorableness, but they do and I love when we chat about them, but also just to chat with you. You’re lovely and it’s always a pleasure to see you around. Sometimes I spazz so much while wondering if it’s okay, but then I see you tell me you enjoy it, and I welcome you to spazz with me too~

@shuoshuzhe : The moment you told me you also knew DGM, I swear I grinned so hard. You’ve been adding so many muses too, and I know I’ll eye them sooner or later more. We’ve gotten some great threads started, and I’m eager to do these and more in the future. And then before we knew it, we’ve gotten deep into chatting MDZS, and I love this so much, and I feel like we’ll have fun chatting about anything and everything!

@moon--wake : I hope you are doing good! I initially only knew your JL but then I saw more of your muses, and the plot we’ve started have been great! It’s always been fun talking to you, and planning with you, I’m sending you all my best wishes <3

@forlorninquiry : I love so much our storyline, I think you’ve seen how I can suddenly spazz out of nowhere about it, but that’s because I do enjoy talking with you. I love seeing you on dash, and I love seeing how you write and talk of LWJ!

@dishengs : I remember you’ve been on the first rper in MDZS I met, and you’ve got such a lovely way of expressing WWX. It’s been fun letting Allen meeting him, and I’ll always be open to plot. You feel so friendly and so nice, and it’s always a pleasure to see you on dash!

@crowleiii : Krory and Allen are so sweet, one day we shall have them say brother in threads; and I enjoy how we chat about DGM, throwing theory around, slaying our feels more than half the time. I’m always glad to chat with you, and see you around!

@taoqidetuzi : You���ve been super friendly, very easy to talk to, and it feels fun to chat with you, and plot with you!

@ghostfluted : We haven’t talk as much yet as I have with other people, but you’ve felt from the start friendly, and I certainly enjoyed plotting with you!

@crystallizecrimsonbutterfly : Some day I’ll think of sending messages first to you, you always leave little messages for me sooner or later, and I always have a smile when I see you’ve done so. I’ve always enjoyed writing with you, and your Lenalee, I’ll happily continue threads or just plot the next event with you whenever you want; and I hope you’ve been doing good!

@dannyikigay : I couldn’t not give you some love (except tumblr being mean but that’s why I linked you), we’ve often talked with a share loved of a certain pairing as well as simple chatting, and we more often now see each other in the discord server (although I’m, ghostly a lot XD), but know you’re always welcomed to talk with me~

@ginnomme : One of the few people I know ship my rarer ships, and we’ve chatted a lot, it’s always fun and lovely when we do. I’ve seen you need time for yourself, but know I do think about you and I hope good things for you!

A reminder/A bit of wholesomeness...

I just wanted to post a little reminder now the ego art weeks are ‘over’ (perhaps, for now 🤔). There doesn’t have to be a specific event in order for you to create stuff. These events bring people together and certainly make it easier to get the creative juices flowing, sure, and I and others are beyond grateful to Seán for hosting the event, but that doesn’t have to end. Everything you make and post can, and will, still have value for someone.

Art: Art is important. I haven’t even been active on Tumblr for a year yet (a year at the end of the month) and I’ve only been active on Twitter for just under 18 months, but I’m already getting to recognise lots of your amazing art styles, and watching your amazing growth just in the short time I’ve been here has been amazing! I love seeing what new ideas you all come up with, new styles you’re all trying, new things you’re experimenting with. I also love seeing “new” artists pop up, and getting show love to and support their work.

GIFs: Recording memorable moments as GIFs? Hell yeah! Recording positive speeches and nuggets of advice? Hell Yeah! Getting quality reaction material? Hell Yeah! Animations, or edited GIFs from the original to make something even MORE creative? Hell damn yeah! I love a good GIF of all kinds and all “skill levels”. And the creative way you guys arrange some of them to make song lyrics, for example, colour patterns, all sorts of things, blows my mind.

Edits: I’ve used many amazing as wallpapers in my time (the ones that allow permission of course) and had a laugh or shed a tear at many awesome video edits, and you’re all SO talented! And again, just like art, I’m recognising some of your editing styles as well. The way you have all learned to use transitions and new filters is amazing! It is appreciated by everyone more than you probably know.

Stories: To my shame, I don’t interact much with a lot of fan fiction, but I often read when I see in the tag or it comes up in the tag. I sometimes feel bad for that though, because I know creators like Seán can’t interact very much with fanfiction in case them doing so means it is taken as canon lol. But DAMN are some of you fantastic with words! You know your ways around a pen/a keyboard better than I could ever hope to in a million years. And I’m sure that a lot of fanfiction has probably inspired a lot of other art and creative posts too. Keep doing what you’re doing writers everywhere!

Theories: Oh boy do I love reading these 😂 And often get scared by how much Seán may have seen and the ideas he may have got looool. It always keeps my mind racing at various times of the day, gets my own ideas pumping (if only I was creative enough to actually put some of them into fruition). One of my favourite things about theories as well is how they can get a dialogue going between community members which is always fun to see the back and forth of that, and coming to an eventual conclusion (or not!) Keep it up guys! 💚

Text Posts: Share your random thoughts gamers! Any little observations about videos, about creators, about life in general. Anything you’re doing with your day. A little story you think that the community might want to hear. I love seeing little random observations in the tag, or photos and posts from people’s real lives, all of which will help us to get to know you as a person better, and bring the community together, rather than seeing us all as a bunch of numbers or lines of code. Your opinions are creative, your life updates are of value.

Memes: Tempted to say memes make the world go round 😂 Want a laugh? Have a meme! Want a joke? Have a meme! Want to make a point but can’t think of the right words? Meme it! Yeah, they can get samey, but at the same time, many people love them and will appreciate them regardless. The beauty of memes is that they are evolving all the time and it’s always fun to watch you guys using your creativity to come up with new memes, or make new takes on old meme formats and long running community jokes.

What I have liked about these Egoartweeks is that it’s kind of shifted people’s thinking. People seemed to have realised that there was a disconnect between the types of content that people regularly interact with, and these weeks have kind of given people a renewed inspiration to create anything, and a renewed wish to see all kinds of posts, not just a certain kind, which is fantastic!

The message to come out of these few weeks, is that creating because you love creating, for the love of sharing your creations with others, is the most important thing. Whatever you can post contributes to this community, and could inspire others in their ideas and creative journeys too! But what’s also important to remember is that it’s not the type of post that’s important. It’s YOU that’s important. YOU are the thing that matters. Not your follower count. Not keeping up a consistent amount of notes on every single post, it’s okay if one doesn’t get as many. What matters is your enjoyment of what you do! Don’t think that your work is any less important than any other creator for any reason. If you are having fun creating it, if you put as much time and effort into creating it as you were able and you were happy enough with the results to post it, to me that is the MOST important thing, the fact that you are making something that you enjoy and want to share that with people, it is highly appreciated, by me, by others, and by Seán and any creator you may or may not be aiming the post at, if they happen to see it.

Keep posting and interacting with what you love for as long as you love making/seeing it. Know that there will always be someone out there who appreciates who you are and what you create, even if you haven’t found your audience yet. Keep creating for as long as you want to, and don’t let anyone or anything change your ideas. Because I seriously love you guys, I’m glad you’re all here, and I hope you know the immense value that you all bring to this community and to the world 💚 Established event or not

Okay back to the Seán induced flames now 🔥