#if you try to well actually me about this i'm eldritch blasting you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fondofcowboys · 9 months

Text

here's my very all over the place feelings on certain aspects of baldur's gate 3 as a romani immigrant. warnings for spoilers of course. mind you i have not finished the game yet!

1. i really can't believe there aren't more people talking about the very blatant racism in astarion's questline. im quite sure it's because the game already touches on it, even giving you the choice to call astarion a racist, and also because everytime we roma talk about anything that makes us uncomfortable we're immediately shunned and "well actually!"'d.

the problem is that it feels Extra icky because the man who was the inspiration for the original dracula, Vlad the Impaler, kept romani slaves. this is the ONLY part of vampire history that, no matter how different the media, will always stay relevant for some reason.

castlevania has the seekers, a nomadic group of magic users who pass their history down orally. while they are *mostly* treated well, the first arc of the show literally shows them being hunted out of town for the simple act of existing.

vampire the masquerade... well.. that's an entire other can of racism worms.

curse of strahd has the "vistani", a nomadic group of people who are treated like third class citizens everywhere they go, and are of course, most known for being tarot readers and drunkards.

the vampire diaries have the "travellers", who get called "gypsies" explicitly as a derogatory word by other vampires.

i want you to take any vampire media you enjoy and ask yourself, "is there anti-roma racism in this?". i guarantee you, if you look for it, you're going to find it. for SOME reason, the only thing that stays consistent with all these different vampire IPs, is that romani people are hated and scrutinized at every moment of their lives.

i MORE than understand that astarion's racial insensitivity is part of him. it's part of what makes him malleable by the player. you can help him understand why he's wrong, or you can lead him down a worse path.

i still reserve the right to feel some sort of way about astarion sacrificing fantasy-romani children for power, willingly. don't get me wrong, he's my favourite character, right up there with halsin. which is why i obviously have so many feelings about this.

(yes, the Gur were written inspired by romani people, if you were not aware)

2. the anti-immigrant sentiment is such an inherent part of the story that i did not think was going to stick around for SO long. i dont really have much to say about this, i think i should've expected it. as a fan of dragon age (i know, tragic) i'm quite used to unnecessary fantasy racism everywhere i go, i just hoped it wouldn't be part of the main crucial story.

3. larian studios i am so so so thankful for the halsin romance. eternally. forever and ever. he's my pookie bear and i'm so grateful some extra time was made to create a romance for him.

can i ask you why the hell does halsin want to LEAVE. At The End. i've noticed how much he contradicts himself throughout his questline and i just... I don't know. i've seen some other people complaining about how non-chalantly he talks about being a sex slave and i understand too, but i think it's part of his character to not take the horrible things that happened to him seriously like he does with others. that, or someone at larian took an unknown substance that led them to make halsin Very inconsistent.

with the poly situation, some people are strictly polyamorous! some people are strictly non-monogamous and do not feel comfortable being in a monogamous relationship. i understand the frustration everyone, but that's how halsin is. i dont know if that was the writers' intention, but that's certainly what he comes across as to me; strictly non-monogamous.

what i DONT understand is why he says he only wants you, calls you "my heart", is so fondly and lovingly attached to you, and then he just.... Dips? Whatever. I'm ignoring that part forever. it's not canon to ME!

anyways. yeah. feel free to Engage in some Friendly conversation. emphasis on friendly, for the love of g-d

#ezio.txt #the bear speaketh #bg3 halsin #halsin the druid #halsin #astarion #astarion bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #antiziganism #sorry for rambling but also i have a mouth. i must scream #if you try to well actually me about this i'm eldritch blasting you #fantasy racism #dragon age

89 notes · View notes

animentality · 2 months

Note

I'm planning out an Honour mode run(which will also be origin Astarion run) and I was wondering if you have any tips for it? All my characters will be multiclassers and I'm planning which weapons and armor to use, but I'm just curious what someone with probably one thousand hours in the game thinks could help

Ironically, I just this week beat the Honor Mode with a friend of mine, hee hee.

Alright, so here goes!

My Personal Team Comp

Paladin/Fighter (My buddy)

Paladin/Fighter (Astarion at first, Minthara later)

Storm Sorcerer (Karlach for me but it could be anyone, really, I was just trying to get the dating achievement- Karlach is actually a terrible Sorcerer because her race gives her smite spells...which she can't use effectively, as a staff user...)

Ranger/ Rogue/ Fighter (Me)

Reasoning:

Two frontliners is always good, to keep the aggro off of the squishier half of the party. Plus, the melee classes get to hit multiple times, which is just, insanely good, and lets you destroy targets. Paladin is obviously the most broken class, but a Paladin Fighter is a great multi class for Action Surge and Battle Maneuvers! Make sure to grab Disarming Attack and prioritize stealing weapons so enemies can't hit you very hard anymore!

You might want to have some kind of Rogue, for sneak attack, and disengage potential as well! Good for long range picks, and quick killing of high priority targets. Plus, two frontliners make it so you always have advantage.

And you of course need an AOE spellcaster of some kind. I think the Warlock is pretty powerful, mostly because of Eldritch Blast and Hunger of Hadar cheese, but the Sorcerer is the strongest magic caster with all their excellent Metamagic passives. They can also regain a lot of spell slots and have a ridiculous DPS output. But Hunger of Hadar is an excellent spell; it is without question the BEST AOE spell in the game.

The key to beating BG3 in any mode is to make distance.

Force your enemies through tight choke points stuffed with magical obstacles and just pick them off as they try to get through.

Hunger of Hadar is broken because not only are they blind, but they're also SLOWED and you get ADVANTAGE on them when they're in it, AND it does damage, AND as I mentioned before, you can throw them back INTO it when they try to get out with Eldritch Blast, which is also just excellent for throwing enemies away from you.

So Sorcerer or Warlock are excellent choices, but I personally have more of an affinity for Sorcerer.

Now.

Why Storm Sorceror specifically?

Because they get the best passives. People say Draco Sorcerers are the best, but their passive is only helpful early on. The Storm Sorcerer passive lets you cast FLY as a bonus action every time you use a level 1 or higher spell! The disengage potential is critical for Honor Mode, plus it's great for just repositioning whenever you want. Plus you get excellent passives like Heart of the Storm, AND you get immunity to multiple damage types, instead of just one!

Why the Ranger/Rogue/Fighter?

Check out this guy's comp, which I used. It is insanely powerful.

youtube

You can dual wield two one handed crossbows, and just SHRED everything you come across.

I was literally playing with two paladins and I WAS HITTING HARDER THAN THEM.

Ranger gives you dread ambusher, then you can hit TWICE as a melee class, which the Rogue doesn't get, and then you can get Action Surge, and do it all over again, PLUS as a thief subclass, you have two bonus actions, for your offhand attacks!

It's honestly broken as fuck, and it's perfect for the long range, disengage potential.

Now you have my suggested comp. Keep in mind that you can have just about anything you want, but remember, two frontliners, at least one magic caster with dps potential, and then the fourth should ideally be a long range specialist.

Now then...

I recommend you pick the Dark Urge.

Why?

For a million reasons.

It is MUCH easier to 1v1 Orin in the end rather than kill the whole Temple and deal with her bullshit Unstoppable nonsense.

You want the deathstalker mantle, which is insanely good for rogues, and everything in general

You WANT To kill Isobel so you can have the Slayer Form, which will get you out of tight spots, plus it makes Orin even easier to deal with.

You also want access to Bhaalist armor for accepting Bhaal as your master.

Also, you want to accept Bhaal so you can get Power Word Kill, a very useful one time use ability, which can uh, hint hint, be used on the Netherbrain to end the game very quickly

You also want to have the Bhaalist buff, which helps you crit more during the final battle.

But this now segues into...

Equipment

Now, if you're the Dark Urge...do not kill Alfira.

Knock her out every day in Act 1 until Quil Grootslang takes her place!

You want the robe Alfira will give you in Act 2 for saving the tieflings from Moonrise! It's called the Potent Robe and it's GREAT for sorcerers! But you can have both it AND the Deathstalker mantle so long as you're vigilant and knock her out every day!

Just be careful, because Arron will kill you if he catches you! So try to knock her out in one hit, if you can. Put the game in turn based mode, if you must! Or use sneak attack.

Other equipment:

Spellsparkler! Insanely broken for Sorcerers and magic missile users. You can use it till the end of the game.

Make sure to get the staff Lorroakan is hoarding inside Sorcerous Sundries! It gives you Kereshka's Favor, which is excellent for Storm Sorcerers.

Also make sure your final feat as a Sorcerer is Dual Wielding, because if you dual wield that staff AND Cazador's staff, you get the abilities of both staffs! You can also use something other than Cazador's staff, and use Arcane Battery twice! So you can cast something ridiculous like, say, Disintegrate, more times than should be allowed! Also, there are like, two amulets and one staff that will allow you to regain spell slots! Make sure to gather as many as you can. Sorry I can't name them off the top of my head... I know one is a pearl necklace that you can buy from Omeluum, one is Caitlin's staff, and the other one you can get from the Warden in Moonrise...make sure to grab them so you can restore spell slots. Oh, also, if you do the House of Hope...you can grab the staff that's in his secret treasure room! Which is also great.

Make sure to buy the Risky Ring from Araj! It gives you advantage on EVERY attack, it just also gives you disadvantage on all saving throws...but if you give it to a rogue, and they have the deathstalker mantle, then they don't have to worrry about being hit ever, lol, plus they have sneak attack ALWAYS. no allies next to enemies required!!! it's a broken item, so definitely grab it from Araj in Act 2!

If you have two heavy armor wearers, use the mold from the Grymforge Heavy Scale mail twice. Make sure to then replace one of them with Ketheric armor later on.

You also want the aformentioned Bhaalist equipment. The Bhaalist amulet is great, as is the Bhaalist armor you can buy from the dragon seller in Sarevok's chamber.

Speaking of Sarevok, kill his ass! You want his excellent sword and helmet.

If you're feeling brave, kill Ansur too, because his helmet is awesome, as is his sword, but be careful! That lightning bitch is an honor mode run killer! I've almost lost two runs to him.

Even though he's hard, I do recommend killing Raphael! The Constitution amulet, the gauntlets of hill giant strength, and the staff in his treasure room are really worth it.

And uh.

Yeah!

Good luck!

Let me know if you have any more specific questions, and trust me.

I know...way too much about this game.

But this is just my starting guide!!

I had a blast in Honor Mode, I bet you will too!

Oh.

And don't kill Gortash. Not because he's my boyfriend or anything, but because, he's not really worth fighting, especially not for the loot he gives you!

If you must kill him, do it at the Morphic Pool instead of Wyrm's Rock!!!

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3

27 notes · View notes

eff-plays · 2 months

Note

I'm one of those people who nearly never use Wyll even though my last run (where I've romanced Astarion) made me realize that my Durge's story would be so perfect with Wyll. I really wish to make it a reality so I'm reaching out to you and other people reading this - please help me! Tell me, how am I supposed to properly use a warlock! Every time I try Wyll just doesn't do much damage. I play on easy, I'm not good at combat and trust me I won't get better (I over 30 lol). It's my first D&D game. Since I play on easy I can't multiclass. My Durge is a paladin.

I really want Wyll in my party, I want to hear more of his banter, I want to fight Gortash side by side with him... but I also don't want to repeat every fight six times. In my first playthrough I've finally started to use Wyll more in act 3 and it was such a delight but I was only able to do it because Lae'zel and Gale were killing everything on their own at this point and my (rogue)Tav and third companion vere basically just standing there and cheering for them. I'm not joking.

Ok that was long, thank you for reading all of it. I'll be very grateful for any suggestions. Also ppl consider signing the petition and telling Larian to finally take proper care of the Prince Charming :)

Honestly I'm not the best person to ask because my game is modded to shit so I don't really have to worry about properly building my characters anymore. You could consider modding, if you're on PC!

Also, you can bump up your difficulty to normal (or whichever lets you multiclass), multiclass, then bump it down immediately. That lets you keep your other class on easy difficulty. (Unless they patched it out? But I don't think so.) People mostly go padlock for Wyll (paladin/warlock) since that gives him a bit more survivability and good melee options as well.

Personally I tend to give Wyll the Agonizing Blast and Repelling Blast invocations when those come up, and usually give him Cloud of Daggers for early game AoE. Repelling Blast lets you yeet enemies into spells or other damaging areas (off of cliffs, into fire etc). Wyll is introduced using a blade, but he's not actually tanky enough not to get blown to smithereens when in melee (at least not when I play him). I also use Arms of Hadar to make Wyll a sort of bomb when there's a lot of smaller enemies, basically have him run into the fray, set off Arms of Hadar, and watch everything die. It's risky, but that's why you do it to weaker mobs (or when he's surrounded). I mainly use Wyll for huge AoE spells that Gale or my bard can't waste big spell slots on, because warlocks get theirs back on a short rest and always cast at maximum level, so you always get a bang for your buck, and then Eldritch Blasts for when the others run out of stuff and/or some asshole just won't die.

But yeah, mostly I just spam Eldritch Blasts, as it's a cantrip and doesn't use spell slots or require rests. It's basically like a magical shotgun, and you get more charges when you level up.

Anyone else who's more of a pro at warlocks, please chime in!

#bg3 #wyll ravengard

25 notes · View notes

odetoviscera · 9 months

Text

Baldur's Gate 3: The Evil Experience

on the recommendation of @leupagus: My Very Special Evil Boy, Vexation. don't worry about the blood, it's a fashion choice.

if you've been wondering how evil you can be in baldur's gate 3, wonder no more-- So Evil.

so beginning at the beginning, i of course chose the Dark Urge (obvious serial killer) origin, who is conveniently customizable, so i also made him Drow and a Lolth Worshipper and a Warlock (all of which has made him only marginally more evil, tbh, mostly the related dialogue options make him a smug bastard, although OCCASIONALLY this will give him a "hmm what if i enslaved you" option which people do indeed react to as if he's an evil maniac and they should flee and/or try to kill him. this goes great for them considering i'm the protagonist.)

i wake up on an illithid ship with no memories, as one does. i befriend a walking talking brain, by which i mean i lobotomize it so that i can more easily control and manipulate it, as one does. i may not know who i am, but i definitely know that i am powerful, mean, and more important than everyone here. also i have a great old one in my brain giving me eldritch blast, so the tadpole wriggling around in there seems normal. i crash the ship sort of accidentally and am set loose on my merry way to wrack the Sword Coast with terrible mayhem. probably. as soon as i figure out if i'm about to turn into a mindflayer.

the first sign of my uncontrollable evil mania was when i tried to talk to a squirrel in act one (actually, i tell a lie, the FIRST sign was when i was tempted to hack Gale's hand off instead of dragging him out of the portal he got stuck in, but i decided i needed a wizard more than a dismembered hand) and the narrator informed me i had been Gripped By A Compulsion and promptly dropkicked the squirrel into a tree. it died, obviously. i was given the option to decide if i cared about this and decided that my opinion was a frankly inappropriate level of malicious glee considering the heights from which i, clearly child of murder, have obviously fallen to get amnesia and get tadpoled and fall out of the sky on a dying illithid spaceship. anyway this set me up for Being Maximally Deranged, however there is No Karma Meter or any equivalent system to MEASURE your evil or limit your dialogue options-- i have free reign at all times, i COULD decide that suddenly i'm going to be a Repentant Murderer, i can do Nice Things if i want the reward or the exp or i am exercising my single scintilla of compassion accidentally inculcated by my eventual three simultaneous romances (one of which is with the mindflayer who lives in my brain/an artifact stopping ME from becoming a mindflayer. this game is so horny, very classic dnd "i roll to romance the villain". except i am also the villain.) at this point i have no romances, though-- at this point my companions watch me kick a squirrel to death and their collective response is "well… that seemed… excessive."

i also have the option to tell every single one of them individually that i am driven by a blood mania to murder and destruction. opinions of this range from "well admitting you have a problem is the first step!" to "that's nice, just point it at the enemy instead of ME". no one seems appropriately concerned about this. they'll learn.

anyway the next sign of my uncontrollable evil mania is that when i decided to be nice to a bard for no reason and she showed up at our next long rest to Join The Party (oh we do get a bard companion, that's nice, i said, like a fool.) i promptly murdered her in the night. as in i woke up covered in blood with her corpse ritually slaughtered at my feet and said "hm. probably shouldn't let anyone else find out i did this" and then sulked when no one gave me proper respect and rewards for murdering her. fortunately the next day my Evil Butler materialized to do just that, and proved he wasn't a figment of my imagination by giving me an Evil Cloak that lets me turn invisible everytime i murder someone. i spend the next half an act or so convinced i'm going to slowly kill off my party, but fortunately i develop the ability to control myself. now i only murder when I WANT to murder.

the rest of act one i am SORT OF a good boy-- i do deliberately get a child killed but i don't PERSONALLY kill her, i get a druid's snake to do it, so does it really count against MY soul? yes but only me and daddy bhaal know it so i am able to continue playing Goody Two Shoes for the rest of the act. (i don't know he's my daddy yet, but like… i know it. i, the player, know it. in my soul. i've played these games before.) delightful fallout, my child murder gets the druid killed after i Helpfully Save The Tieflings by telling the opposing force i'll totally help them break in and kill them all, then betraying them at the last minute. i kill so so so many goblins. i get an inspiration point for how many goblins i kill. goblins are still sentient. It's Still Murder.

act two, however, empowered by all my Blood And Chaos, i turn over a new leaf. sure sure being lauded by the tieflings was fun and all, but i do somewhat regret not killing EVERYONE. i'll do better this time. this shadow-cursed hellscape is really vibing with me. it's also trying to eat me every time i'm not carrying a magic lamp but you can't win 'em all. i pretend that i'm with the antagonists (can you call them villains when I'M the villain?) so i can get their lamp. it's carried by a drider who does not appreciate my sincere compliments about how beautifully fucked up he is. his loss, i'm down to fuck anyone. i'm already fucking a githyanki and a vampire spawn.

when i get to the Big Bad Tower where supposedly they'll know about my tadpole, i discover they know something WAY MORE IMPORTANT: who the fuck i am. everyone here recognizes me. no one will tell me anything. several of them are appropriately terrified. this is infuriating but also promising. the Big Bad is a smug dick and i want to eat his heart raw. i daydream about this.

my butler arrives to tell me if i murder a Special Girl i'll get a treat. i like treats and i LOVE murder so i go looking for her. she's maintaining a Magic Selenite Moon Shield over the single not-shadow-cursed place here, which i hate on principle-- also it's a harper outpost and i hate them too, they'd probably disapprove of murder. some rando minion with wings drops in to tell me the Big Bad of the region wants to kidnap her (ALIVE, he specifies) so obviously i now double want to kill her. i kill her in one round. the magic shield collapses. EVERYONE dies (including the tieflings i saved in act one! full circle.) and then i kill their shadow-cursed undead corpses again, for good measure.

my treat is getting to turn into the slayer. i KNEW i was a bhaalspawn.

behold my true glorious visage. (with blep.) my only complaint is that i can only become this hulking death machine once per long rest. it is, however, not a turn-limited form, i can stay in it Forever if no one kills me as long as i'm willing to Just Murder No Talking. also it has a spectacular ladder-climbing animation, this bitch goes down ladders face-down like a lizard, i love him.)

anyway i don't go back to the Big Bad Tower bc presumably they'll be mad about the dead girl (i'm guessing she's Big Bad's dead daughter miraculously resurrected. i'm totally right by the way.) but the last time i was there i got a quest to find the Big Bad's Relic, which is obviously his phylactery or something since he's got a whole death aesthetic-- after a whole Temple of Shar sequence it turns out his phylactery is a captive aasimar actually. my companion wants to murder her for shar-related reasons, so i give her the go-ahead since i don't have any SPECIAL reason to kill her myself. my companions should get to be evil occasionally too.

with his phylactery dead, it's pretty easy to mow through the Big Bad Tower, especially since i can now turn into the Death Machine. i don't have to talk to anyone here. i can Just Murder.

nearly kill the Big Bad but he flees to his basement, where it turns out there's an mindflayer colony, big deal, we've all got tadpoles in our brains (i've been eating other tadpoles for extra power along the way, because of course i have) okay fine it's a slightly big deal bc there's an elder brain here that my Special Mindflayer Friend is shielding us from whatever. it's under the control of the Big Bad who's death aesthetic turns out to be that he's the Chosen of Myrkul, and also here are reps of the other Dead Three, Bane and My Daddy. i hate bhaal's chosen on sight, as is traditional for a bhaalspawn. i will murder her someday. i will murder her SO GOOD.

unfortunately she and the baneite fuck off with their elder brain to lay siege to baldur's gate while i'm daydreaming about it, so for now all i get to murder is Big Bad Myrkul Edition. moderately satisfying. he turns in an Avatar of Myrkul in the second half but i destroy him so quickly he doesn't even get to regenerate with the hojillion corpses in the area. nobody murders like vexation.

off to baldur's gate to save the city/get bigger hunting grounds!

i do cure the shadow curse on my way out though, because i'm never coming back and i've left the place a blighted wasteland, why not, it gets me a pet druid.

there's also some drama with githyanki and vlaakith, as usual, turns out the Rebel Prince Orpheus is actually how my particular mindflayer (who is finally revealing that he's a mindflayer, a thing i have suspected all along because of all the psychic shit he does) is doing the shielding, etc. etc. also i let my mindflayer boyfriend turn me in a half-illithid, which means i get no tentacles but a BUNCH of new mindflayer powers to make me an even better murderer. can't wait to see who wins in the tug-of-war for my mind, body, and soul--the illithids, my great old one beyond the stars, a devil who keeps trying to get my attention, my vampire boyfriend who wants to ascend to vampire god, or Murder Daddy. my bet is murder daddy.

anyway we get to baldur's gate, where i break in bc i don't want any guards to know i'm here-- just jumped and flew my way up the side of the bridge past the checkpoint. easy peasy now that i have illithid flight powers on command no cooldowns just Psychically Levitate wherever i want to go. also i can turn into a displacer beast. that's right, i now have to option to become TWO DIFFERENT terrifying horror beasts and rip through mobs like papier-mache. my patron really needs to keep up, warlock powers are falling behind. (no they aren't, i've hit level 10 and can now eldritch blast three times in one round and every hit knocks enemies back and terrifies them. i'm gonna chew this city up and swallow it one bite.)

however, first thing when i get into the citadel: the baneite is being coronated Archduke, bc of course he is. so i head up to see if there's a chance to murder him and a room full of peers, BUT. for the first time EVER-- this little shit is willing to tell me Who I Am. Assassin of Bhaal, former high priest of His Temple, and ONE OF THE INVENTORS OF THIS CONQUEST PLAN. that little bhaalite chosen is my bhaalspawn sister (obviously) who fucking tadpoled me, gave me amnesia, and discarded me before making sure my corpse was cold. this will be a mistake! FOR HER.

in the meantime the baneite wants me to know that he is a big fan of mine, would i like to murder my sister since i already murdered the myrkulite, and then he and i can rule this city together with an iron grip and a blood knife, since he's sure he'll have a lot of use for an assassin as a tyrant. mind-reading and my brain-illithid agree that he is actually on the level about this, at least for the moment, so of course i agree. i will rule this city. and then i will murder him. and then i will murder EVERYONE. in THE WORLD.

so now i'm hunting the current chosen of bhaal so i can kill her and steal her place-- my butler is sending me divine visions of it, SHE can't turn into the slayer, i am evil daddy's favourite. she's also kidnapped one of my companions and is threatening to kill her if i show up but i care about that less.

and that's where i am so far! will report on Future Evils.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 oc #baldur's gate evil edition #truly sorry i don't have more screenshots #i'll try to remember to take more for the rest of act three lol

79 notes · View notes

mongoose-bite · 3 months

Text

Act Two just flew by, even with radiation sickness and my house's electrics going belly-up for a couple of days. I'm struggling here, cause my approach is to try not to spoil too much, and just talk about funny stuff, so people without context don't get any, but it's getting more difficult as I go. I'll try.

If you recall, Faye found some sandals she liked. The very next camp Scratch dug up a new pair of shoes. Poor Faye, even her dog has opinions on her fashion sense. I also realised I've missed out on the owlbear. Somehow.

I'm going to play the game again, so I decided if I miss things like that I'll not go back for them. Even if the mad Shar-worshipping rats that I got distracted from and forgot about once we finished the gauntlet have left me desperate for answers. Hopefully Sardax or Dyce or someone will figure it out (yeaah I've started naming my future PCs.)

I figured out how to play a druid. Very beautiful, very powerful. Both of them.

Is assaulting the towers ever not a complete clusterfuck? I actually did it a few times; once because I realised you have to free the prisoners first, not just bust them out when you sweep though. That's what I get for trying to be efficient. And then I had to load another time, because I forgot Gale's spell shaping only applies to damaging spells and Asterion got huffy cause I hypnotic patterned him. I have dragged that man KICKING AND SCREAMING up from neutral to 'medium' whatever that means and I do not wish to lose my hard-earned...tolerance. So I'll reload and do it all again. sigh.

Do you think I brought enough summons? Us survived the final encounter btw. Didn't contribute much, but survived.

Once Asterion got his runes read, he's getting more brilliant ideas. Yay. Didn't have to smite Shadowheart though. Faye is so proud of her.

And we finally get more answers, not just about Shadowheart but we get a bit more overall. (And I know the deal with magic items is they resize to fit whoever wears them, but the idea of someone sneaking in with a HUGE CROWN for the Absolute is hilarious.) She feels so bad for Wyll. Faye would have done exactly the same things, probably. He wasn't legally old enough to sign the contract! He actually did pretty well with all the restrictions on who she could send him off to fight. Could have been worse. I respecced him back to full warlock and he's ... okay. I guess I just don't see the appeal of putting all you eggs in the eldritch blast basket. I don't get this class.

Halsin kind of implied he's sticking around because he's...horny?

Faye, have you managed to short-circuit the bear's brain? In those shoes?

#crunchy plays bg3

4 notes · View notes

grigori77 · 10 months

Text

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 63

Old Spice? Is that really still actually a thing?

Marisha is fumbling her part of the plug so badly it's beautiful ... Sam: "Matt ... say something now!" XD

Oh nice, SHORT advert intro this time ... more time for gameplay then ...

"Scallywags" ... XD

Oh yeah, I just remembered IT'S A CLIFFHANGER!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!!!

Creepy face, creepy face! Not good ... oh fuck, don't DO THAT, Matt! Oh ... it's NOT Hevestro? Eep ...

Oh yeah, this guy's DEFINITELY not a friend ... whoa, creepy dude ... fuck ... oh shit, is this a FUCKING LICH?!!!

A faint Fey energy? Oh dear ...

"The Hierophant is in ME." Oh boy ...

Liam makes a Perception roll. "Urgh, not great fir me ... 19." (snort ... are you kidding me?)

Is Deni$e seriously arguing about squatters' rights? LOL

Oh boy ... this thing is giving me major Hexus from Ferngully's ultimate skeletal monster form vibes right now ...

Shit ... so this thing is FREE because of the Solstice? That's LOVELY ...

"I know how you can help me ... you can join Hevestro." Crap ... Matt: "Roll initiative." CRAP!!!

Oooooooh ... fancy Battlemap time ... and an adorably specific WizzKids plug from Liam ... XD

Prism and Orym match initiative ... ROLLIES?!!! Liam: "What's your dex?" Emily (chuckling): "Not yours." Yup ... XD

Ashton rages ... and it's a FANCY RAINBOW RAGE again ... love it when he does that ... holding his action, now ... hmmm ...

Deni$e is dashing for cover, holding her action too ...

Orym chucking a dagger "just to see what it does"? Hmmmmmm ... and it hits! Okay ... it DOES find purchase, but ... not a whole lit of effect. Interesting ...

It deals him 8 points of NECROTIC damage? AND knocks him down? Ouch ...

Emily popping into the bottom screen as she leans RIGHT OVER is VERY distracting to me ... I have NO IDEA what Prism actually just DID ...

Frightening Gaze? WHAT?!!! Phew, it doesn't work on her at least ...

Bor'Dor's gonna cast something big, something RAUCOUS ... nope, just a Lightning Bolt ... XD ... and the crossbow SURVIVES!!! Okay ...

It's STRETCHING ... creepy hands ... oh shit, what IS THIS?!!! Ooh, a COUNTERSPELL?!!! Go Prism! Crap ... bugger, that didn't work ...

EVERYBODY has to make a Con Save? Argh ... and FUCKING OUCH!!! Gods that is NASTY ... Necrotic damage ... yeah, this is TOTALLY a lich ...

She can't Rage? Bollocks! Aaaaaaaah ... Held Action is NOT good after all ... double bollocks ...

It has a BONUS ACTION?!!! A red orb? What the fuck is THAT shit?

Laudna casts Darkness on the little red orb ... hmmm ... a DOME OF DARKNESS now ... okay then ... even Marisha isn't sure this is actually a SMART move right now ...

Ashton comes in swinging ... and Taliesin Crit Fails ... ow ... thank the gods for Action Surge ... and then he just thinks himself out of doing much of anything ... bugger ...

Crap ... Deni$e's heals fail her ... bollocks ... whip out? Ooh, intimidation! Yeah!

Flea Jump? Oooh ... way to go, Orym! And an Action Surge! Goading Attack! Yeah! 11 points of damage! Nice! Wait ... that's Hevestro in there? Oh shit ... so they CAN'T damage it without hurting him too? Shit ...

Prism trying Force Damage ... 27 points? Woooo ... so THAT works! Okay, good to know ...

Bor'Dor is at SHIT HP ... yeah, 4th Level Cure Wounds on himself is smart ... he shouts: "I'm coming!" ... and then that's it ...

Orbital Decay? Oooh ... Ashton is a Gravity Well! Sweet! Slows it RIGHT DOWN ... fuck, andnow it's PUKING gaseous unpleasantness into his face! Prism Counterspells it! NICE SAVE!!!

Crap ... and now she's made herself a target ... that won't end well ...

Form of Dread! Yeah! Here we go! And a foibles barrelled Eldritch Blast! BOTH HIT!!! Sweet! Crap damage roll, though ... bummer, 5 and 7? Hmmm ... essentially just TICKLES him ...

Oh man ... this thing is IMMUNE to her Form of Dread? Shit ...

Flaring eyes? Never good ...

FINALLY Ashton starts to do dome real DAMAGE!!! And a Chaos Buest ... ooooh ... Cold Damage? Interesting ... orb is cracked, but still intact ... but he can MOVE IT!!! Okay ... another hit ... POW!!! And it SHATTERS!!! Yes! Nice one, boy!

Orym's getting speared! Laudna casts Silvery Barbs ... and fails! Aaaaaaaah ... fuck ... snd now he's PINNED!!! Shit!

Deni$e attacks with her sickle! And still stumbles? Bloody heels ... a miss .. znd ANOTHER miss ... at least the third one hits ... for 7 points of damage? Oof ...

Orym is pinned and he STILL hits that fucker TWICE!!! Nice ... Grasping Vine! Oh ... he's trying to PULL HEVESTRO OUT?!!! Whoa ... down to a contest of strength ... ah ... Holy shit, that actually WORKED!!! Unbelievable ...

Prism considering using Dimension Door to just get the body out of here ... too risky ... no, she's doing it after all? Okay then ... she sends Dynios to send it to Ashton! And he's just SHOCKED about it ... O.O

Bor'Dor is going for the body ... and he just FUMBLES IT ... nuts ... so he decides to shoit a Firebolt at the remaining orb instead ... it hits! Yes! But since he's shooting THROUGH THE DARKNESS he doesn't actually KNOW IT ... "That felt good!" XD

Counterspelling a Counterspell? Dear gods ... massive frustration, clearly ...

Another double Eldritch Blast! 14 and 10 damage ... not bad, Laudna! It's starting to look ragged ... Chill Touch? Ooooooh ... 13 points of damage and it CAN'T HEAL!!! Nice ...

"Game recognises game!" Sure ...

Ashton's still afraid, so he just PICKS UP THE BODY and books it! XD Okay then ...

Attack or heal? What you gonna do, Deni$e? She goes with mercy ... good choice! Healing Potion! And Hevestro is ALIVE!!! Yes!

Prism is now EXTREMELY PLEASED with herself and I don't blame her ...

Orym squats over the elf and BOOSTS HIS AC!!! Nice!

Radiant Chill Touch! Nice one, Prism! 9 Radiant damage! Meanwhile ... is Dynios FLIRTING with this thing?

Prism: "That's right! I'm becoming a little bit of a Battle Mage!" Taliesin: "And it's gone."

Bor'Dor shoots a Lightning Bolt through the crossbow into the orb ... 23 damage! CRACK!!! And it HURTS the creature! Nice!

A Fireball? Ouch ... 35 points of Fire damage! Oooooh, that smarts! That was just MEAN ...

Shit ... and now Hevestro is a bit crispy and UNCONSCIOUS again! Double shit!

Hexbolt times 2 from Laudna ... NICE!!! Oh yeah, she us FUCKING IT UP!!! And an extra double Eldritch Blast! Nice! AND SHE GETS THE HDYWTDT!!! WHOOOOOO!!!

Oh yeah, she just SHREDS this fucker ... that's beautiful ... and pretty gross ... and then she just sucks it all into her hand snd SQUISHES IT. Nice ...

Bor'Dor does a Mass Cure Wounds ... which looks like loads of blue cotton candy? Awwwww ... :3

So now Hevestro is beholden to them. Here we go ...

Evithorir the Taker? So THAT'S what that thing was ...

Tumilo? Efterin? Oh, here we go, infodump time ... yeah, altogether that sounds pretty intense ...

Orym finally getting down to business ... and Hevestro doesn't actually KNOW what's going on ... so Laudna PROJECTS a Silent Image of the Solstjce itself ... okay ... Matt: "That's where we gonna take a break ..." Yup ...

Back again ...

Requests of transportation to Wildemount AND Marquet ... tomorrow morning? Really? Sweet ...

Heading out into the vestibule? Okay ... and now he's dragging freaky skeletons up out of the ground ... okay ... oh, that is TRAGIC ... lovely ...

And so THAT'S what the weird grave in the wilderness was all about ...

Less luxury than the basic amenities of a youth hostel, then ... sounds about right ...

Deni$e is "trying not to be too aggressive" ... WHILE TANKING HIS ARM ... okay ... and now Bor'Dor's on the floor ... she is going HARD on him right now ... wait ... HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE a brother? What?

Okay, now I really AM confused, what the hell IS going on with him?

"WTF is with this guy?" Hang on ... did Marisha actually JUST WRITE THAT on the fan?

Okay, so it's storytime around the fire ...

So he's from the Menagerie Coast? Okay ... hiding out from the church ... oh so he already HAD his powers then? Hmmm ... so his mother was killed? Betrayed by her gods? Ouch ... oh man, that got dark FAST ...

Okay, now I'm starting to wonder about this guy myself ... where the hell IS he going with this?

WTF is going on?

HOLY SHIT Bor'Dor is a total LIE!!!

Oh fuck he is ATTACKING THEM WITH FUCKING ACID!!! WTF?!!! 27 Acid damage each? Fuck ...

HOLY FUCK PRISM IS DEAD?!!! NOOOOOOO!!!

Roll initiative! Shit, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!!

Bor'Dor: "I saw you! You killed my friends in Marquet!" WHAT?!!!

Wow ... now they are GENUINELY trying go work out who the hell through killed that he even means?

Orym kicks dirt in Bor'Dor's face, grabs Prism and pours a Healing Potion into her, then protects her as she wakes up again. WOW he us so awesome ...

Ashton IMMEDIATELY fucking RAGES, charges Bor'Dor and sucks him in with his Gravity Effect ... and SUCKER PUNCHES him right in the gut. Density Well? Oooooh ... and that boy is ON HIS ARSE. Ashton: "Sorcerer, huh?" Now he pops hom on the head with the butt of his hammer ... PUNT!!!

Deni$e grapples him to pin him down ... oh, so he is a GREASY little shit! She tries again ... and this time she OWNS HIM. Nice ...

Utkarsh: "I don't feel like dying anymore ..." Oh great ... NOW what the hell is he planning to do? He Polymorphs himself into a hummingbird ... except Laudna Counterspells him out of it! Okay then ...

Wow ... now he's just crying on the floor and begging them to kill him? Hmmmm ...

Laudna goes full blown NIGHTMARE FUEL into her full-blown Form of Dread ... "I'm really sorry, Bor'Dor ... I just can't bear to have anyone else betray me." And she casts hunger of the Shadow on him? HOLY SHIT ...

Fuck, HOW MUCH DAMAGE did she just roll ... 26 points of Necrotic Damage? Holy shit ...

Yeah, she just STRAIGHT UP MURDERS HIM ... this just went SO BAD ...

Okay, maybe Prism needs to GET THAT ACID OFF right now ... meanwhile she's punching the now stone cold corpse of Bor'Dor for betraying her ... and she causes an actual Auto-Crit on him ...

Ashton drops Rage, grabs Prism and guns her away and leads her off because she doesn't need to see this. Oof ...

Laudna sees Ofym just watching this with total desolation ... but she's TOO FAR GONE right now ... oh boy ... wait ... what the fuck ... "Marisha hates this." What the ... on my gods ...

Wither and Bloom? Shit ...

Oh fuck ... IS THAT FUCKING DELILAH in control right now? Seriously?

And she KILLS HIM.

It's a beautiful and HORRIBLE death ... fucking hell ...

Ashton comforts Laudna as gently as he can as he leads her away ... meanwhile Orym is clearly DESTROYED emotionally right now ... Holy fuck ...

Utkarsh: "I would have stabbed each and every one of you." Jeez ... fucking CHILL, you psycho ... O.O

HE HAS AN IMMOVABLE ROD?!!! Fuck, he has LOADS of loot ... what the hell WAS going on with this guy?

Wow ... is Prism like SUPER TRAUMATISED right now? At least Deni$e is there to SORT OF pick up the pieces ...

She's going to shout at his grave ... and stomp on it ... and apologise for it ... then stomp on it again ... yeesh ...

Hevestro offers up words of comfort ...

Prism talks to Laudna ... Laudna: "I'm afraid that what I did hurt more than just Bor'Dor ..." ouch ... and now the subject of Delilah comes up again ... she's scared she might still be there and I can't blame her, I'm wondering thr same bloody thing right now ...

Wow, she is just tumbling RIGHT DOWN this existential rabbit hole right now, ain't she?

Meanwhile Orym is just pondering in the broodiest way possible ... he's just going through it as bad as his friends right now ...

A very subdued evening before retirement ... oof ...

Morning breaks and they rise again ...

Oh, okay, here we go, then ...

Ashton grabs a little bit of the crystal ... with kind permission, of course ...

Prism suggests to Dynios that they ... abscond from the Cobalt Soul in the chaos ... and then begs Ashton to egg her on ... hmmm ... wow ... is he actually trying to TALK HER OUT OF IT?!!! Oh, no, turns out he's all for it after all. XD

XD ... now he's trying to convince her to go to Whitestone and rip off Percy ... I love it ...

Yup ... Prism's life of crime and debauchery begins, then ... XD

Deni$e trying to work out how to get sent yo Dariax ... they try to scry on him ... here we go ...

A tavern ... OF COURSE IT IS ... there he is ...getting drunk ... central Tal'dorei ... Westruun? Okay ... oh, Orym's gonna try to get hold of Dorian through the Sending Stone ... aaaaaargh, not the bloody D100 again ... crap ...

A wanted poster? Oh boy ...

Prism wondering if what they went through was real ... and Ashton IMMEDIATELY asking her if she thinks she's just HALLUCINATED the whole thing ... LOL

"Like putting a hat on a hat!" XD

Okay, here we go ... goodbye to Deni$e and Prism, then ...

Oh, so it's a case if "pick your own tree, then" ... and Prism is the "canary in the cost mine" ... XD

Ah yes, Tree Striding ... here we go ...

That's it then, farewell Deni$e ...

Scrying to find the others, then ... okay ...

They're home ... that's it, then. That's where to go.

Laudna gives Prism a hank of her dead hair for her to scry with ... lovely ...

Wow ... Prism's exit is just CRAZY ...

And then the others go through too ...

Oh, Bor'Dor gets a little bit of a coda? That's intriguing ...

Matt: "And THAT'S where we're gonna end the episode."

Wow ... introspective ... and I'm STILL emotionally destroyed ... that episode was TOUGH ...

So yeah ... well done Utkarsh, you went where very few have gone before, narratively ... and Aimee, ALWAYS fun to see you, luv ...

Until next time, then ...

9 notes · View notes

nutria--oscura · 5 months

Text

me? listening to an ep when it comes out rather than hours later? a rare occasion for sure (shit's gonna go down isn't it?)

~spoilers for s2 ep47~

"crunchy munchy refuge"? HENRY'S BACK? PLEASE

"they must deal with the loss of a team member" WELL- YEA. THEY BETTER TALK ABOUT IT

hi um... what song is this? why? oh- no reason... not sobbing at all [screams]

we did it boys... Hermie finally got his show stopping number, his final performance, the entire cold open to himself.

"this same podcast dungeons and dragons" PART ?? OF WILL SAYING IT DND INSTEAD OF DNDADS (it makes me giggle so much every time)

every time Matt opens Link's fact by reminding everyone that the teens are spouses, it returns to me the life Anthony takes away whenever he hurts Hermie

OOOOOO PROPS? Love Will bringing in the props- THE LOVERS? REVERSED LOVERS- OH SHITTTTT

loving the energy in the room

oh? Lark and Sparrow are with them?

OH YEAH- NORMAL WASN'T CONSCIOUS OH SHIT-

HIDE HERMIE??? YEA LISTEN TO SCARY, DON'T TOUCH HIM-

idiots- the lot of the- WAIT WHAT- ANTHONY

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lark just trying to leave-

Normal doesn't see Hermie? wow, ok, i'm already crying- ok

LARK AND SPARROW FUCK OFF- LET HIS SAY BYE-

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F U C K K K K

"this heaven has one less spouse, but heaven has one more angel" I love Hermie but, that boy is not going to heaven

Anthony sounded so inspired when he said "garages" I aspire to be that inspired in my life lol

Hi Will, let Normal go feral please :) Merci <3

NORMAL CASTS COMMAND

ELDRITCH BLAST ON THE DOOR

YES FREDDIE FUCK YEA

"I want to pull the pin on one of them and then throw the whole box at them" to that I raise you, wasn't it Darryl who threw the ENTIRE bag of beans in s1? Wilsons and throwing full containers of dangerous stuff, I tell ya-

"the shrapnel does a cool, like right over my eyebrow? y'know, cool scar, y'know?" SCAR SCAR SCAR SCAR ON LINKKK

Pennies? NAT 1 NOOOOO

"they haven't made pennies in years Normal" oKAY

GENTLE REPOSEEE

FUCK

NORMAL AND THE NAT FUCKING 1S JEEZ-

I just saw 2 ppl's names who are coming up and i am now so terrified-

ANTHONY NO PLEA- THAT'S THE SEGUAY? HOLY SHIT

how did I fucking know that that would be the knock- whAT?

Henry has a portal to old earth?

jumping = falling upward

Oakvale? man with bracele- iS THAT BARRY?

why does he have old Erin O'Neil's voice

HENRYYYYYYY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRYYYY!

ok. who said Henry would be like "i'm still alive cause of my healthy vegan lifestyle" to the other dads? i'm giving you a pat on the head and a cookie

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SEX FURNITURE? yea, ok.

MERCEDES IS DEAD? NOOOOOO (the second Will said "jar of Mercedes Oak-Garcia's ashes" I dropped my phone-) WHY IS TIME PROGRESSING IN THIS PODCAST ABOUT GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND HOW IT CAN EFFECT PEOPLE OVER TIME AGHHHHH-

"can you go wait outside" oH NOOOOOO

HERMIE ARCANA CHECK- FUCKING 3- WILL CHANGE YOUR DICE PLEASE GOD NO

FUCK NO NO NO N O O O

"if none of you guys can help him and none of you guys understand how this works then we gotta go to the one guy who can!" THE WAY I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING SEAT WHEN WILL SIAD THT- SCAM ACTUALLY IS BACK TOOO BOIS

YOU TELL THEM NORM. YOU FUCKING TELL THEM

Scary's voice- oh gosh-

THE SIMPSONS?

"I'm here when it's sad, I'm here when it's fun. Did somebody do something to my son?" NEW SCAM OPENING RHYME AHHHHHH

SCAM ACTUALLY ACTUALLY CARES

"he's just a goof, goofs never die" WHAT IF I DIE?

NO SOUL?

hey, Anthony. fuck you <3 /j well... /hj

YES NORMAL PUNCH HIM (can you guys tell i love scam?)

"bad girl, i'm a bad girl i do what needs to be done. sometimes people fuck with my friends and i fuck with them back"

"you feel like home for some reason" WHAT IF I CRY?

TELL HIM SCARY- OH NOOOOO

one thing i have learned is when Will's character(s) start crying, i cry. and well... Normal's crying, and gUESS WHAT?

OH GODDDD THE TWO-FACE TREE FOR OUR TWO-FACE BOY-

NORMAL AND HENRY <333

THE SEX CANDLES-

HENRY'S FAVOURITE SHOW IS BACK!

THE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH OF THE EP GEEZ

CHAPARRAL ON 3? OH SHI- yeaaaa

THE SUN IS BACKKKK

"Normal goes to the sort of fresh mound of earth, where Hermie is buried, and he kneels and he says, 'I liked you too.' He puts his hand on the dirt and he says, 'goodnight sweet prince.'" OH GOD OH FUCK- I LITERALLY COLLAPSED ON THE GROUND AND WHEN I GOT UP SLIPPED AND SLID DOWN THE WALL FROM CRYING- OH GEEZ- "GOODBYE SWEET PRINCE, SWEET PRINCE" OH GOSH-

WE'RE DOING THE MEMORIES NOW???? GOD-

i'm sorry- they're teaching Hero AND NORMAL

DADDIES HQ

FREDDIE WITH THE SAVE- OH CMON ANTHONY-

what. the. fuck.

NO. DON'T END ON NORMAL BEING YELLED AT. FOR THE SAKE OF MY MENTAL HEALTH DON'T. PLEASE-

love that Normal at 6 years old had the intelligence to lock the door. no one at daddies hq did that. like, the door was unlocked when Normal got there

In conclusion:

HERMIE NOOOOO-

#HEAD IN MY HANDS #fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk #this. episode. is. giving. me. so. much. emotional. whiplash.#dndads spoilers #dndads #whispers of the raine #edit: cant believe i forgot the in conclusion #that's like this things whole brand (imo)#other than being essentially a giant shitpost that is #anyway #time to go study for my psychology test tomorrow

6 notes · View notes

eaglefairy · 1 year

Text

I just finished pokemon violet and like holy SHIT

I've been so excited to learn about area zero this whole time. Like it's an eldritch location that people try to explore but just die in there instead??? And it's got monsters and the herba mystica that turn normal pokemon into giant superpowered titans???? Sign me UP, I wanted to just fling myself in there the whole game. So obviously going down into The Pit with all my friends and Miraidon was very exciting, and I was looking around And then I heard the music. I got CHILLS (x1). I keep going down and I'm catching pokemon, getting to the research stations, and I go to hit the button, and it asks me if I want to. I have a bad feeling about this. I say yes anyway. "Well, the professor told us to--!" I have an even worse feeling about this. We keep going down. We get to the third research station. Turo's call malfunctioning and the camera slowly tilting to the side? Genuinely freaked me out! I got CHILLS (x2). (I am still having bad feelings about opening up the lab.) Getting all the way down into the lab and seeing Turo slumped over in the chair was like. I was horrified I was enthralled I was seriously wondering if they actually decided to show a dead body onscreen in a Pokemon game I had chills (x2.5). Talking to AI Turo and all that all I could think was finally, they made the pokemon finales batshit crazy again. I missed this so much after sword Getting to the time machine room? Beginning the battle against AI Turo and hearing that music? CHILLS (x3). During the fight, Turo got a critical hit off...on my Tauros. The one with Anger Point for its ability. The ability that maxes Attack on a critical hit. That was just a beautiful storytelling moment. Chills (x3.5). The fight with Turo is over. Finally, I think, we've won! All the friends come back. Not so. The Paradise Protection Protocol activates. Turo starts crystallizing. I am feeling so bad for Arven. He locks down all our pokeballs and sends out the evil Miraidon. The battle starts, the animations play...no pokemon comes out. All our friends are freaking out. I, once again, have CHILLS (x4). I was very tense during the Miraidon Mirror Match because I really did not want to find out if the game would actually let you die, and I did not want to lose because it would've been very anticlimactic. Thankfully, I did everything right, and tera blasted over half the boss' health away when I was on 1 HP. CHILLS (x5). In conclusion: Pokemon SV endgame MILES better than sword and shield, someone needs to give Arven a hug (ideally all his new friends), I'm going to be pondering AI ethics for at least 2 days after everything AI Turo said and did, Arven still needs a hug, and I am going to go to sleep because I'm very tired and definitely rambling at this point.

#pokemon #pokemon violet spoilers #who am I kidding I was rambling this whole time #I'm literally vibrating with excitement from all that #time for sleep now though. tomorrow I'll start the postgame #and find out if my mistrust of Geeta this entire game has been justified or not #original tag

3 notes · View notes

lovecoreclownz-archive · 2 years

Text

Aw man, usually I don't talk about personal feelings or anything on my blog but my partner systems are asleep so I'm just kinda. Chillin. Thinking about like, myself as a person. Like. I dunno you spend so long reflecting others you forget what's on your side of the mirror yk? Man. I'm not like. Spiraling, I'm just kinda like. Shit :/. I was having this same kinda breakdown earlier but now it's less of a break down and more who DO i want to be as a person? I'm the host of a system, I'm a multi source fictive, I'm a dadmom, I'm a Malewife, I'm someone's kid. I'm Gordon B Freeman, I'm Benrey, I'm a lizard, I'm an eldritch abomination and a disgrace to God. Those are the things I used to be, but who do I want to be yknow? I'm so used to trying to help everyone else figure themselves out I never gave myself time to do the same. I like colors, my favorite color is probably teal, and a kinda salmony peach color. My favorite numbers are 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. I love plants, I love animals. Cuttlefish and vampire squids are my favorite ocean animals. I love the holiday Valentines day, I even picked one of my names from it. I see the horrors of the world, the pain the suffering the everything and yet I see a beauty within the cracks of light in the dark. Sometimes chasing the beauty of the world leaves me awe struck. Sometimes, it leaves me writhing on the floor at night. I have a million emotions but not the words to convey them. I'm a beast, I'm a human, I'm a God, yet I'm mortal. Being put in this human vessel has made me feel things I never thought I could. It's made me think things I never even stopped to consider. What IS the point of all this? I think to me the point of all this is to have a snack with someone you care for and just enjoy life. Smell the roses every day, pick up a cool rock you found, blast your music in the car on the way home. I think that maybe the question of who I am doesn't matter actually, but more of what will I do today. I think spending my life wondering who I am, restricting myself to a few identities, never letting myself truly be free would be painful to do for the rest of my life. I think that maybe for once who i am doesn't matter, because for once I'm content, and I feel ok to shift and move and branch out and expirement. I think right now I'm not looking for a definite answer, but rather an experience. I want to experience the world now, for the first time in years. I think that maybe tomorrow I will go outside and sit in the grass if I feel well enough. In the past i spend so much mercy on those around me, I think it's time to hand some to myself. Anyway, I think I'll sleep now, maybe I'll actually cook myself breakfast tomorrow.... who knows? Goodnight everyone, sleep well

#clown’s honks #tw derealization #derealization #i realized this could be a bit existential so be careful please?#this is not spiraling #just self discovery #i promise im ok #i more or less just needed to get these feelings out #i think if im feeling well ill make an egg bacon and cheese bagel tomorrow :)

3 notes · View notes

misterghostfrog · 4 years

Text

Forgiveness Is Divine But I'm An Earthly Thing

Did someone say ‘more scottish safehouse grieving fics’?

Based off my idea of Jon getting Big Sad over Daisy from this ficlet. And ended up with a bit of exploring Martins feelings abt his mum. With a bonus Big Soft at the end. Enjoy!

(Content warnings: Grief and discussions of grieving, vague discussions about past child abuse.)

Jon stares vacantly at the scrap of fabric that might once have been called a curtain resting haphazardly on the coffee table. He feels exhausted. Like someone took all the emotions he had left, scooped them out and dumped them somewhere. Leaving him weighted and hollow.

It had taken him off guard, just how hard the realization had hit him. Sure he’d known she was gone, from the moment he’d heard Basira’s voice over the phone. But there hadn’t been a moment where he’d really considered it. Not until he pulled that blasted curtain out from the knot of sheets that had formed in the linen closet and began running his thumb over the shoddy Daisy patterning lining the bottom.

It had thrown him back to a conversation he and Daisy had had barely a month ago. He’s not sure how it happened, but they had stumbled onto the topic of the worst gifts they had ever received, and Daisy admitted she wasn’t actually a fan of Daisies. She liked the idea of them, the sweet sunshiny association, but the flower itself was sort of underwhelming, not enough color, she’d said. That never stopped people from getting her things with Daisies on them though. She’d told him about how the gifts usually ended up shoved in cupboards or stuck in storage. Only pulled out when she needed to make a show of using the them for the giver, or used as a backup when something else breaks or is ruined until she can replace the item in question with something with a different pattern.

The thought had been something of a fond memory, a quiet respite amid the louder chaos of the archives. And looking at that curtain the thought had suddenly hit him that it would never happen again.

He knows he scared Martin when he’d curled over that little piece of scrap fabric, clinging to it like a child. But once he’d started the tears he found he just couldn’t stop. Like a dam had finally broken and he was drowning in the feelings stuck behind it. Unable to so much as speak between the choked gasping sobs.

Martins arms are wrapped solidly around him now as he leans back against the arm of the couch. His legs are draped across the cushions, he’d positioned the two of them so Jon was curled up in his lap, leaning against his chest. He’d sat with him this whole time, while Jon cried. Patiently waiting until he’d gathered himself.

For what feels like the hundredth time since they’ve settled in the safehouse, Jon wonders how he could ever have not appreciated Martin for everything he does- and is.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs hoarsely. Turning his head slightly, breaking his staring contest with the scrap fabric on the coffee table to bury his face in Martin's chest.

“Jon- Don’t be. it’s fine. We’ve sort-of been through a lot lately, I think you’ve earned a good cry.” Martin says, carding his fingers through Jons hair.

“Thank you... I just-” Jon takes a shaky breath “I suppose the fact that she’s gone didn’t really... hit me. Until now.”

Martin pauses.

“Who- you mean Daisy?” He asks

“I- yes. She was- we were-” Friends he trips on the word. They’d never really said it, that they were friends. But that’s what they were. As much as they could be considering the circumstances. “-close. After- after the buried.”

There’s a pause, and Jon glances upwards at Martins face. His eyebrows are knit close and his lips pressed together in an expression Jon doesn’t quite have the energy to decipher.

“What?”

“Didn’t she, y’know, kidnap you? Throw you in a trunk with-”

“Yes.” Jon cuts him off, the memory of Daisy throwing him into the back of her car alongside a corpse sits at the back of his mind like a threat “She did.”

“Sorry- sorry. I just... I guess I know you two were friends but... I guess I find it hard to believe you just... forgave her? Just like that?” Jon can hear the way his voice pitches up in offence at the end of the sentence, always quick to defend Jons honour. He huffs.

“I didn’t, actually.”

Martin pauses.

“I thought you said you were close.”

“Yes, well. That doesn’t mean I forgave her for what she did- if I had to forgive everyone who's ever hurt me to care about them my life would have been significantly lonelier I think- And she... she didn’t expect me to.” He runs his finger idly over a loose thread of Martins Jumper “I don’t think we could have been friends if she had. And- I think she knew that. And besides that I know she knew that she- she didn't have the right to expect- or even ask me to forgive her.”

“Oh”

“And it doesn’t mean I cared about her any less. It just- it just meant our relationship was more... complicated. And despite that I think...” He chuckles wryly “I think I could probably say with reasonable confidence that she was my best friend.” he tries for another laugh, but it comes out wobbly and far too close to a sob as tears he didn’t even know he had left in him threaten to fall.

“I’m sorry, Jon” Martin says softly. Squeezing his shoulder gently with the hand that isn’t still running through his hair. “But... I mean- she’s not completely gone, is she? I mean you said yourself she’s still alive so-”

“No.” Jon says softly. “I mean, she is alive. That much is true, but... She gave into the hunt. She had been fighting it for a long time and... she had to make a choice. The hunt or her humanity, and she chose the hunt. She- she chose it to keep us safe but- well. Intent doesn’t really translate that well when it comes to eldritch fear monsters. So technically she is alive. But... what’s left of her- its not Daisy. Not anymore. She’s gone.”

“Oh.” Martin's voice sounds terribly small. Jon feels awful for dashing his hopes- even though they weren’t even his hopes to begin with. He’d only said that to make Jon feel better. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s-” It’s not fine, so he doesn’t let himself say it is “It is what it is, I suppose.”

“Yeah.”

There’s a silence then, as both their eyes drift to the curtain. Jon knows Martin likely doesn’t have many- if any, pleasant memories of Daisy. But the mere act of trying to understand her importance to Jon is far more significant than he knows.

In the absence of tears and memories he finds his eyelids drifting shut without his permission. There’s more to be said of course, more to talk about and more to feel. But the consequences of such an exhausting exercise in emotion weighs heavily on him, and for once, he thinks he can indulge in the luxury of rest. So he allows himself to just be wrapped up there for a moment. Exhausted but nonetheless safe.

Neither of them sleep well in the safehouse. It’s hardly a surprise, between the cacophony of horrors they’ve both faced over the past few years it’s really a shock they sleep at all. But that doesn’t make the long silent hours of the night when they’re both pretending to sleep for the others benefit any less grueling.

Martin isn’t sure if Jon knows just how little he sleeps, he lies still and quiet well enough. Partly in hopes that Jon will get some rest himself, and partly because he thinks that maybe if he acts like he’s asleep his brain will get the message.

It’s easy to tell when Jon is awake though, he thinks he’s being subtle. But he’s a terrible liar, and a worse actor. And he doesn't know that when he's really asleep he's still as the dead unless you try to move him, at which point he’ll cling as tight as he can to whatevers closest. Which is usually Martin nowadays. So Martin knows he’s not waking him when he speaks quietly into the darkness.

“Have I ever told you about my mum?” His voice is low, just above a whisper even though it’s just the two of them.

Jon tenses in his arms, he likely hadn’t even realized Martin was awake.

He knows in theory this is hardly the best time for the conversation, but it’s harder to sort good choices from bad so late at night. When it’s practically morning and his head is so fogged with sleeplessness someone could tell him he’s dreaming and he’d believe them.

“I- no. You haven’t” Jons voice is quietly bewildered, the volume matching Martin’s own tone. “I mean, I know you dropped out to take care of her, but that’s it.”

Martin humms vacantly, resting his forehead against the crown of Jon's head. Jon has both legs wrapped around one of Martins own, one arm slung over his middle and the other pressed between them. It’s nice, he’s not sure he would be able to deal with the sleepless nights if it wasn’t for Jon curled around him like some sort of affectionate snake. And now the warm contact gives him the courage to continue speaking, to let the words jumble out as they may.

“She... she never liked me y’know. I tried. I really did but- she got... it wasn’t her fault. My dad- he left, when she got diagnosed. And a-apparently I look just like him. And she... she didn’t like the reminder. A-and it made her say- say things. I suppose.” He takes a shaky breath “But I keep- I keep thinking about what you said about Daisy, h-how you don’t have to forgive someone to care about them...“

He pauses, Jon doesn’t respond. Running his thumb over Martins shoulder blade, waiting.

“is it- is it bad if I can’t forgive my mum?” His voice sounds so small in his own ears. Jon pushes his head further into Martins chest, and sighs.

“You do realize i’d be something of a hypocrite if I said it was” He says quietly.

“Yea but, I mean... Daisy was different, wasn’t she? I-I mean- it wasn’t her fault what she did, all that stuff she said. She was- she was hurting. She didn’t-” He stops as Jon shifts, pulling his head back and unwrapping his arms from Martins chest, bringing his hands up to cup Martins face. Gently guiding his head until he’s looking Jon in the eye.

“Martin- that’s not...you could probably make the same arguments for Daisy. That she didn’t know what she was doing, she didn’t mean to hurt people. But that doesn’t change the fact that she did.” He says seriously.“You don’t owe her your forgiveness. Not if she hurt you.”

“But... she was my mum, Jon.”

There’s a pause, Jon runs his thumb over Martins jawline. Martin can barely make out his expression in the faint moonlight. But he can tell he’s thinking.

“Did I ever tell you I was raised by my grandmother?” He says softly after a long pause.

“No, you didn’t”

“Yes, well. My parents died... when I was very young. And she was the only living relative I had left. And while she did her best... well, it was clear she didn’t exactly- she was done raising children. And having one dropped in her lap wasn’t really in her retirement plan. She tried to hide it of course, but... I knew I wasn’t wanted.” He sighs “and that... was damaging. I think. And led to some things that... that weren’t her fault, but I still- it still hurts. I did love her, though. But I can’t forgive her for some of the mistakes she made in raising me. Intentional or not.”

“Oh, Jon...”

“You don’t owe your Mother your forgiveness, Martin. It doesn’t make you- ungrateful or bad to not forgive her. It just means she did things you can’t just, let go of. I-if that makes sense.”

“I... Yeah. I think- it does. Yeah.”

There’s a silence, and Martin takes a moment to process the words. He’s not sure if he can use them yet, he never realized how much time he’s spent trying to force himself to forgive his mother for... everything. He knows it’ll be a hard habit to break. But for now, he lets them sit comfortably in his chest. Curling back around Jon, who sighs into his shirt.

“Thank you, Jon.” He says softly.

“Of course.”

He wishes he could say they both drifted off into an easy sleep after that, but the sleeplessness holds fast until the sun is nearly up. And they find themselves stumbling around the kitchen like every morning, sleep deprived and clumsy. The night's conversation not entirely forgotten, but unimportant in the face of breakfast.

There’s more to talk about of course, there always will be. He thinks. But for now it’s enough to just be there, together in that cramped barely-functional kitchen. Simply enjoying each others presence.

Always. It’s a thought that hasn’t occurred to him before, but now. Even as sleep deprived and clumsy and miserable as they are in the cramped house. They’re together. And it feels like something they could have. An always. Maybe not here, but together all the same.

Martin watches Jon curse as the milk he pours into his cereal hits the spoon and ricochets onto his shirt. Soaking through even as he tries to wipe it off with his sleeve.

Always has never seemed so promising.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #ghostly scribbles

28 notes · View notes