#if rosemary doesnt appear
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explodes
#vrissy maryam lalonde#vrissy#kanaya maryam#rose lalonde#rosemary#homestuck#homestuck 2#if rosemary doesnt appear#next update. i might die#starving#need to see all three in a panel#at least once soon. please
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edd n molly
#edd walten!!! i finally drew him ! ! !#this is mostly just how martin drew an older edd but translated into my style. i liked what martin had going for him#to me hes like. a sweet guy. but hes a bit cagey and he doesnt really know what hes doing w himself or his life#hes kinda brooding about it i think. its ok#he also doesnt know how to dress himself. he doesnt care a lot about his appearance#+his hair is naturally curly but he brushes it out since thats easier than taking care of it#he doesnt have any hobbies really. but i think eventually he takes up painting like rosemary. hes a couple years out from that here though#i was going to color that second drawing for real before i realized i literally did not want to do that#edd walten#molly walten#the walten files#art tag
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herbalnatural headcanons. if herbalism had been a part of supernatural, I think some of it would have been like this
instead of pouring whiskey on their wounds after hurts and stuff, it's yarrow/echinacea/cinnamon wound wash. they tried it with cayenne powder in it once too and decided that was NOT conducive to hushed motel room wound fix-ups
when dean gets in that angry/angsty mood and they're out on a hunt, sam just shoves a bottle of blue vervain/lemon balm tincture at him and gets out of the car. "I'm sick of your cranky shit, dean!"
sam doesn't come back to tense situations with dean until he himself has taken a few deep breaths and a sip of his own anxiety skullcap tincture that eileen made special for him that summer
when they're at home and someone is in a bad mood, a cup of tea always appears for them.. there's a lot of rose/passionflower/mimosa/tulsi/chamomile/skullcap/solstice wort/linden/peppermint in the bunker
both sam and dean have hawthorn/marshmallow/fennel in their daily formulas because. because a lifetime of constant coffee and alcohol consumption makes you worry about a guys heart and digestion
cas keeps a bottle of motherwort/rose/mugwort elixir on him at all times. he not-so-secretly loves roses so it makes that little anxiety/protection blend all the more special
per rowena's insistence, pretty much all the hunters either eat oatmeal every day or drink large daily doses of milky oats, because chronic stress snd nervous system fatigue is not something to be taken lightly, especially in a community of traumatized lgbtq+ people
eileen is the mullein queen. she just is. she has this incredible sense for foraging most things but every time she goes out she always comes back with more mullien. the bunker is well stocked with mullien/garlic ear oil and smoking mullein, all with eileens magic touch and intention steeped into it
a bottle of calendula/mugwort/lavender/rose oil has a place of permanent residence on the bedside table in dean and cas's room. this is purely for sexy times and massages and it takes dean a long time to not be embarrassed about the fact that he really likes the smell (and that he has less dry skin issues after they start using it). opening up that bottle results in immediate never ending kisses from cas
the bunker and subsequent hunting communities go through fire cider like no one's fucking business. these people can't afford to get sick! so sam buys apple cider vinegar and honey in bulk from a local farm
when it's time to make more bone/mushroom broth you know to give dean whatever kitchen space he needs. kaia, dorothy and stevie are the usual volunteers for assistance and dean let's ONLY them help out. they all hole away for the day and the kitchen smells absolutely divine - like garlic and star anise and mushrooms and rosemary -and he always makes sure to make at least a gallon of stock thats just mushrooms and herbs, in case there's anyone around that doesnt eat animals
cas and jo teach jack and the other hunter youngins about plant id and first aid. it makes jack feel safer, like he's really meant to be on earth, when he can find his plant friends even in front of shitty motel rooms or when they go out to the local diner
charlie and kevin stay up way too late one night making edibles... the whole bunker reeks of weed, but they swear there's rose and ashwagandha in them too
claire is often found on the roof smoking and rolling some concoction of dried herbs between rounds of smashing the chaga eileen had found and dried, or collecting the scraggly plants that grow in the crap soil there. violets, dandelion, plantain, etc. she enjoys her alone time, but let's kaia hang around, and will tolerate her sisters if they offer to help
donna insists on letting jack try all her new syrup formulas before it all gets bottled up and distributed amongst the hunters. jody pretends not to hear them OR smile to herself from her seat at the table, because who can be mad at a cute kid like jack at the stove with a spoon full of elderberry syrup in their mouth, whispering and giggling with donna over the big bubbling pot on the stove
#herbalnatural#i could go on and on and on about this#the bunker is a community hub and they make so much good medicine there#everyone is happy and gay and full of good food#this is the supernatural that lives in my head and it is absolutely wonderful#i have more of these im sure#to be added later#can you tell that i think cas is definitely a rose person#winchesters#destiel#kid jack#donna and jody#charlie and stevie#charlie and dorothy#jo harvelle#rowena is a green witch#herbalism#supernatural#lgbtq+#chronic stress#castiel#sam and eileen#dean and cas#claire and kaia#my headcanons#sam is allowed to be a whiney little brother#stonernatural#weednatural
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MIA WINTERS AU [PT. 2]
[PT. 1] [PT. 3]
Included: Mia Winters, Mother Miranda, Donna Beneviento, Rosemary Winters, Eva
So after Mia killed Ethan shes upsetti spaghetti
And Miranda is not equipped for that yet
Like
At all
So she gives the famous awkward pat on the back from someone who doesnt know what they're doing in this social situation before asking someone else to please help
Donna is called because honestly Miranda's scared that alcina and her daughters would try to eat Mia
Which is fair
So Donna takes Mia back to her house, putting her best effort into not making her hallucinate
Mia brings Rose with her bc like hell is she leaving her after all that chaos
Miranda has the sample she needs for Eva
So Mia's kickin it with Donna and her psycho chihuahua doll Angie
Who does attempt to bite Rose but that's for another time
So they get back to the manor and Mia meets all Donna's friends and shes like-
Oh my god this woman is so lonely, where are her parents?
And then she mentally adopts her
Meanwhile Donna has no idea what's going on, but like, shes not gonna stop Mia from mothering her
Shes confused not stupid
Eventually she takes her veil off and waits for Mia to skedaddle like the rest
I'm so sorry for that word
But instead Mia just like tilts her head like a pigeon and asks if it hurts and does she need medicine oh my god do you need to lay down-
She just goes mom mode on her
And so Donna just like- accidentally acquired a mom and Angie has to be nice to Mia and Rose now
A few weeks later bird mom shows up with Eva bc I'm impatient, and immediately Rose is infatuated
Shes not even like truly aware of her surroundings, but shes like :0 new baby
So those two play while Miranda awkwardly sits with Donna and Mia
And Donna is shaking
Miranda has never been to her house before so shes so freaked out
It all comes to a head when she becomes so anxious that Angie wanders in and just yells at everyone
Shes scared of you and is worried that you'll take the human away! She doesnt really know what's going on with all your fucking children! And you! Let our friends come out and help!
And then she just leaves everyone with that info
Then like twenty dolls just fuckin appeared, scaring the shit out of Miranda
They all have a talk and because Mia is lowkey a troll, she tricks Mirands into giving Donna a hug
Donna cries btw and Miranda is so terrible at comforting that it makes her start laughing
Then Eva shrieks and Donna's plants break their pots and Mia starts laughing while Miranda is like 'oh shit'
#incorrect quotes#resident evil village#resident evil#mia winters#rosemary winters#eva#mother miranda#donna beneviento#angie beneviento#part two
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what would the rfa smell like?
jumin ☞
that nice laundry smell after wash day, thats his smell. his aftershave has hints of sandalwood and vanilla in it which is noticeable too and literally delicious. after he shaves he smells like a dream. all the soaps he uses are either a generic soap smell or not scented at all. his dermatologist advises against fragrances so thats why he doesn’t use them much. doesn’t wear cologne unless its a special occasion or a date, too strong for his nose sometimes. but when he does its gucci. he just has a really nice smell that comes naturally, literally just one of those people that smells so good without trying and has his own smell. probably the pheromones.
zen ☞
coconuts and roses. he uses a coconut scented lotion/sunscreen all over his body, and his rose water adds a nice floral scent on top. his soap smells like cedar and cypress which leaves a nice lingering masculine smell after his showers. it doesn’t seem like it would all work together but they do and he smells amazing, like a delicious smokey dessert. like jumin he doesn’t use a cologne that often, but when he does like “midnight enchanted woods” with patchouli and sage or something. tries not to go crazy with it. he just has a really nice natural smell and its something his fans pick up on a lot. tries not to use a ton of chemicals when it comes to what he puts on his skin so its all ✨organic and fancy✨
yoosung ☞
he googled what smells attract women and bought whatever came up first. think of traditional old spice smell but with more of a “musk” because according to mens today women like musk. now that actually smells really good on him, its strong but not too much and smells masculine. but im so sorry, he uses three in one body wash. its probably labeled something like violent anarchy warzones: for MEN! the kind that smells like fragrant acid and hurts your eyes to smell sometimes but he thinks its manly so he likes it. he doesnt know any better, please take that away from him this instant and find this boy a proper routine. everything else is great though, he’s that guy you walk past in the store and he just smells really good and it grabs your attention.
jaehee ☞
if you’ve ever met someone who works at a coffee shop then you know exactly what she smells like, strongly like coffee and baked goods. a little bit of vanilla on the side. a full on snack, she cant really smell it on herself anymore because shes so used to it by now but you can and she always smells absolutely delicious. she likes more natural smells. her soaps are lavender and rosemary scented, and she sprays a perfume on herself called “white linen” it smells really fresh and clean, a hint of floral undertones. its lost the second she steps into work but smells amazing while it lasts.
seven ☞
so you’re gonna tell me he doesn’t use axe? dont you dare lie yes he does
doesn’t really care what he smells like just because he’s by himself most of the time. just sprays the shit out of himself before he leaves the house and probably will give you a chemical burn if you touch him. only starts to care more about his appearances after he meets you.
please help him he uses 3in1 and axe everything
once you help him sort all that out he smells like the generic “man smell” but the kind that actually smells really nice instead of trying to burn your nose off. you get him an aftershave for his birthday that smells downright erotic like sandalwood and frankincense, really spicy and earthy. he dabs a little on in his neck in the mornings even if he’s not shaving because it smells that good.
jihyun ☞
smells absolutely wonderful, has his routine down perfectly and invests in that kind of stuff. no weird alcohol or cheap chemical smells will ever be attached to him. uses cologne daily and it smells like tobacco and leather with a bit of cashmere vanilla its just so smokey and earthy and yum. its perfect and not too strong but just the right amount to grab your attention. he likes when people tell him he smells good. in the mornings he smells a little like coffee on top of all that and its just pure perfection, theres not a moment that goes by where this man doesn’t smell like heaven on earth
saeran ☞
actually smells really sweet, kind of like cotton candy and flowers with a little hint of strawberry on the side. doesnt mind smelling more “girly” since thats just what he likes and he doesnt go out often. he doesn’t use cologne or anything fancy, its just his soaps and shampoos. his shampoo is “tahitian garden” and it smells really sugary and flowery. the best is when he comes out of the shower when its super strong and he smells absolutely amazing. he has an aftershave thats more masculine smelling but he doesn’t use stuff like that too often. prefers to just to shower and go.
thanks for reading! find more on my mysme masterlist ♡!
#mystic messenger#mystic messenger imagine#mysme#jumin han#zen#hyun ryu#yoosung kim#jaehee kang#707#saeyoung choi#luciel choi#jihyun kim#v#saeran choi#saeran#unknown
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Other witches: These are my wands. One is hand carved from a sacred wood and embedded with jewels. The other is made from crystal and charged regularly under the moon's light.
Me: I have a stick I found on the ground four years ago and an actual hunting knife.
#personal junk#rosemary does witchcraft#my prettiest tools are my hand painted matching chalice and vase#but aside from that everything else really doesnt appear impressive#and yeah i have the bone wand that i carved and stained and all that#with a custom grip and crystal point#but thats only used for special occasions#the rest of the time catch me outside swinging around a stick or a fucking knife
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love that the rosemary update post doesnt even appear in tags. anyways pls rb the pinned post <3
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Get To Know My Spirit Family
Dara, the Toddler Faerie
Dara picked this picture of Frankenstein because he LOVES Frankenstein. They have a similar experience, appearance, and Dara connects with Frankenstein very deeply, as you will see below.
Appearance:
Dara is a little bigger than Ella, about the size of 4-5 year old. He is dark skinned with bright, sky blue eyes. He has stitches/scars from stiches (like Frankenstein's) on multiple areas of his body. The main ones you can see are around his wrists, the lower area of his neck, and multiple places throughout his arms and legs. His hair is a deep brown/black, and is super curly. He likes to wear it like a 70's disco afro. His left leg is different than the rest of his body, as it is the color blue.
How We Became Family:
Dara is different from how the rest of my spirit family and I became companions. You see, my Dara, was apart of an experiment. This experiment took different parts of Faeries, Seelie and Unseelie, to create him. He has no biological parents, because he is many parts of different Fae toddlers who were taken from their parents. The person who created him was a Spirit Hoarder. They held spirits against their wills and performed many different, sad, and demeaning acts on them.
One night in February 2019, a friend was calling and texting me. Telling me her spirits and her had raided this "experimental spirit facility" and set free the spirits. Some had decided to stay with her and she needed a home for two babies.
One was an newborn infant, the other was my Dara. The newborn went to a person with more experience than I, and since I had actual experience with children, Dara was brought over to me by one of her Deities, Lucifer.
The instant Dara was brought home for the first time, he climbed onto my lap and wouldnt let go. He was just small enough to latch onto my arm and stay there comfortably. I fell in love instantly.
Since then, I call him my son and he has come to say; "Everything happens for a reason, if I wasnt there I would never had have a family like I do. I have a caring mommy, loving daddy, and a little sister!!!"
The Fae's Sacred Names
Faeries names hold power and it's a very, very, very well kept secret. A lot of us only get nicknames from the Fae because of how much power their true name has over them. I consider it very lucky and awesome to be trusted with their full name.
Because of Dara's upbringing, he only was nicknamed "Dara". I was so grateful to have the opportunity to grace him with his Fae Name. Of course, I won't be mentioning it in this post, but I wanted to cover it! It was like he was my TRUE son then. I was and am so blessed to have two children.
Magic and Spellwork:
Dara has the abilities of Sleep and Dream Magic. We both can sense so much more than that, but because he is so young, we are waiting to reveal those magical blessings. I believe he will have a little bit of everything because of the different Fae incorporated into making him.
"I think so too, mommy!" He shouts as I type this lmao.
When asked what he has learned so far, and what he wants to learn, he shouted; "I'm a Death Witch just like Mommy and I want to use the Stars like Dawn! And Twirl like Moona!! And mommy, can I learn everything?! Oh!! What about what Hanky and Aaron do?! And and and....*takes deep breath* CAN I LEARN FROM JAY TOO?!" I love him 😍
Dara's Favorites:
Favorite Way to Communicate: Pendulum, its the only way he knows right now! Well, and a bit of telepathy
Favorite Food: "My favorite food is strawberries with honies!!"
Favorite Toy: "Ellie's vacuum cleaner! I can clean like Bo!! And the rocks my sister and I collect together!"
Favorite Drink: Milk with Honey and "Appey juice!"
Favorite Thing to Do: "Color and Watch Coco and Paint and play with sissy Ellie and Watch Moona Twirl and Dawn takes me to the lake! Ooo, I like watching Aaron run and Hanky let's me touch his tentacles too! Mommy this is hard *sighs*"
Favorite Color: "Blue! Like my leg!"
Favorite Crystal: "moss stone? The one you put in the plants!!" He means Moss Agate!
Favorite Herb: Thyme, Lavender, Rosemary, and Juniper Berries
Offerings:
Rocks
Toys
Milk with Honey
Rain Water
Sun Oil
Rusty Nails
Why rusty nails, baby? "Because of Frankenstein!! Duh mommy!"
Last Words:
"Please dont make faewies like me!"
"Mommy, can I tell them about my favorite movie?" Of course you can, honey. "*claps his hands* so it's Coco and his family doesnt like music but he has a guitar anyways and finds out that his great great grampa is a huge person and then he goes to the dead realm because he stole the persons guitar and his dead family dont like that so he meets this dead guy who takes him to the big person but it turns out the big person isnt his grampa but the dead guy is! And he gets to see Coco again!"
"I love our kitty!! Meow!"
"Mommy says she grows plants but its actually Daddy who saves them! Its so cool!"
"Can I go play now?" Yes, of course. What do you say to everyone? *starts running away* "tank youuuu!"
Thank you to all who read! If anyone has any questions, please send them in!
Many blessings and love upon you all!✨
-Lúthiena🌻🌙 and Dara👶🏽💫
#my spirit family#my companions#spirit work#spirit companion#spirit companions#spirit community#spirit communication#energy work#pendulum communication#death witch#death work#my posts#luna tormenta#lunar witch#lúthiena's adventures#lúthiena speaks
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RAD Student Files: Lucifer, The Celestial Realm’s Bastard Pride
before i start the post, Thank you guys for the support^^ it really means alot. and im going to go very in depth with these post, so i decided to make each brother have their own spotlight by making it individual post.
also i apologize in advance if i cant joke around much with these post hehe^^;
Spoiler warnings, so you have been warned!
Background and Origin:
Lucifer,as famous as he is right now. With the Netflix show and other representations of him throughout history, his name has only been mentioned once in the bible.
“ How art thou fallen from Heaven, O Lucifer, Son of the Morning,” (Isiah 14:12 King James Version)
this simple line was said to actually be a foreshadowing of the fall of the King of Babylon, Nebuchadrezzar . Some say it is alluding to the fall of a Pheonician God, Helal who sought after the Chief God’s throne and fell (pretty similar eh? actually dfq too similar) .
some say that Lines from Ezekiel might be marking a prophecy of Lucifer’s faith (Ezekiel 28: 11-19 , the passage is alittle too long, so if you want to see it just search that up), the passage speaks about King Tyre and what his pride did to him not only that but the passage then goes to mention “ the Anointed Cherub”. This is said by Jonathan Edwards, a Philosophical Theologian is a reference to Lucifer; as Lucifer was made highest of the angels, not only this but is said to be the closest to the throne of God.
Now, who and what is Helal? the actual Hebrew text has the name “Helal”( which still meant Morning star) instead of Lucifer. both do mean the same thing, an Astrological Phenomenon.
the actual name of Lucifer came from the Latin Vulgate version of the Bible.Lucifer, which meant “Light Bearer” and was directly connected to the Planet Venus. As the bible gets translated over and over again, this later turned Lucifer instead of being just a figure of speech, became an individual being. most of the stories about Lucifer are taken from Poetic literature about the bible and legends.
there are many interpretations to the fall of Lucifer( the Anointed Cherub), so i will give the most well known and then briefly touch upon the other interpretations.
Lucifer, before his fall was said to be God’s most perfect creation, a Cherub ( some would disagree and say a seraph, but more on that later) whose beauty was unmatched, whose knowledge was above those of his kind; God gave him knowledge that only Lucifer can have. second only to the father himself.he was the leader of the angels but, he grew in pride and decided that being second to the father is not enough. that he has to be equal--no greater than the father. With this, he waged war that caused great chaos throughout heaven. Michael (in some accounts, Gabriel) the archangel second to him lead the army that counters his and was able to defeat him and cast him and those who sided with him out of Heaven. following the Book of Revelations, it is also accounted that third of the angels in Heaven fell with Lucifer.
as he was cast into the Abyss, he is to bound there until the day of Judgement, but with his despise of God, he then goes to the mortal world to tempt and torment the Father’s most beloved creation, Humans. he does this so that he can acquire their souls and keep them away from God( this was stated in the Apocrypha, Enoch). it is said that he appears as a beautiful innocent child and uses this form to easily tempt humans to follow his words.
some interpretations state that the reason for Lucifer’s rebellion is because, God made another being, Jesus, who was Higher than him. as Lucifer only is near the throne of God, Jesus is to sit on the throne with God for all eternity. which infuriated Lucifer.
and in some interpretations, it is said that God permitted Lucifer to be able to tempt humans. and in some Gnostic Christian Sects they believe that Lucifer isn’t even evil, but the first-born of God who is to save humanity with his gift of Knowledge.
Jonathan Edwards, even goes as far as to say the fall of Lucifer to him pleases God, as his fall is for the greatness of God that is to come.
Lucifer in the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the mage, Lucifer is stated to be one of the four Principal spirits. in the True keys of Solomon, Lucifer is identified to be one of the three demons who can command all others of his kind, he is said to rule over demons in Europe and Asia ; the other two demons who have the same authority is Beezlebub and Astaroth . as for other legends, they state that Lucifer is the Consort of Lilith ( weird but okay?). according to Peter Binsfield, Lucifer represents the Sin of Pride; to note, it is said that Pride is the King of all sins, which seems fitting for Lucifer. He is also the Opposing force to Saint John the Baptist. in the Friar Rush, Lucifer is said to be the “ Prince of Gluttony” .
as for Lucifer’s position in hell, there is some debate over it, on one side it is said that Lucifer is the emperor of Hell, with Satan being second to him and Beezlebub third to him. for some Demonographers, Lucifer is a great Lover of justice in Hell. and the other side, it is said that it is either Satan or Beezlebub.
So How does it show in the game?
Lucifer in the game is well known as the loyal right hand of Diavolo ( the devil?). He is obedient to Diavolo’s wishes and does everything he can to make sure no one opposes him, even his brothers. this is quite different from the things mentioned above. Lucifer is supposed to be the highest one in Hell, he was able to even rebel against Heaven for it, yet here he is...serving a Demon?
Lucifer is shown to be a sadistic, strict, over bearing, secretive, but caring(?) sibling. he shows to be dealing with alot of problems with the past especially concerning Lilith.
(the sadistic side could be a reference to how he loves to torture and torment humans. just a guess)
the game seems to take liberty of taking shifting and twisting the origins to make a more human Lucifer, his story is also very similar to what his origins state.
but, the thing i want to focus on is Lucifer’s model, in the game he is stated to be seraphim, an angel that has 6 wings( this information was given by Luke during Chapter 5), but his model only goes to show 4. now, in the information above, Lucifer is said to be a Cherub, so whats with that?
to be technical, Cherubs are angels of Knowledge, which for others means, his sin is caused by his knowledge. Seraphims are angels of Charity, while they are the highest choir, if you try to connect it with his sin, it doesn’t match. but, since the game used the Seraphim interpretation so we’ll go with that.
Lucifer is also shown to have dark hair and his wings have turned black, modern interpretations do this as to show his turn to the darkness, but some interpret it as the result of Lucifer’s wings being burned. his character model shows him with only 4 wings, so where’s the 3rd pair? most likely burned off during his fall to the Devildom , or they were burned during the Celestial war. and the implications that Micheal did it might be likely, since his origins states that Micheal was the one to defeat Lucifer and His army.
Diavolo when he gushes about Lucifer, he always goes on about how Lucifer was so bright and blinding, which could be a reference to his name as Light Bearer.
in regards to Lucifer’s relationship with Lilith, During chapter 5, we were able to find out about that Belphie, Beel, Lilith, and Lucifer used to be very close. hoping this game doesnt take the incest route, we can say that Lucifer and Lilith are just very close siblings rather than the original interpretation that He is a Consort of Lilith. much of the lore is still in the making, so most of the things are just possibilities.
ps. i hope you guys enjoyed reading this very long post ❤❤❤,sorry for taking a while to post :< school’s been taking up alot of my schedule so the time window for researching has been hard to manage. but enough about that, if you have any information you want to share that i wasnt able to include or you want to correct some things, please feel free to comment it :3
references:
The Encyclopedia of Demons and Demonology By Rosemary Ellen Guiley
The Organization of Pandemonium By Maxmilian Rudwin
A Dictionary of Angels Including Fallen Angels By Gustav Davidson
A Field Guide to Demons, Fairies, Fallen Angels , And Other Subversive Spirits By Carol K. Mack and Dinah Mack
The Names of the Damned : The Dictionary of Demons by Michelle Belanger
Dictionary Infernal By Collin De Plancy
And more ( Tumblr doesn't want links so ;<)
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How to kiss boys and still feel cool
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/38nLr1Y
by hopeless_romanticz
Karkat and Dave recently started dating, but they havent kissed yet.
karkat is going to change that
Words: 510, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Homestuck
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Additional Tags: Meteorstuck, First Kiss, awkward teenagers, rosemary is mentioned but doesnt make a appearance
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/38nLr1Y
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you said you like Davekat fanfics, but what type of fanfics do you look for?
My favorites are Astronomy in reverse and Bring you down (with honorable mentions Alpha rats nest and >Dave: Proposition him).
I like mutual pining, slowburn, being scared and touch-starved, learning to let yourself be loved, comfort, helping eachother grow. Yknow, all that Premium Cheese. I love fics that include Daves relationship with Rose, Karkats relationship with Kanaya or their mutual love and appreciation of John Egbert. I like domesticity - learning to be comfortable together, appreciating the minutia of everyday life, working through trauma. (I’m also more into xenophilia than I’d care to admit, but let’s not talk about that one.)
I hate the concept of establishing a romantic context before you’re in love, so if it’s not best friends to lovers this binch is OUT. I never read NSFW fics, its all pg13 in this household. Anything that has to do with them making eachother genuinely upset is a no-no (kismesis, dave being a dick etc). Karkat HAS to be at least little bit chunky. I can deal if the fic doesnt talk about his physical appearance that much, but if any of them are described as conventionally attractive my immersion gets thrown out the window like a cheating boyfriends PS4.
I have a couple of non-davekat fics I really love too like The neon bible (a brilliantly written, plot-heavy janeroxy fic), Romancing the spitting image of your ex (the johndirk fic I keep mentioning) and Inside (a pester-log where Dave and Rose talks about how scary sex is).
I’d love to read more rosemary fics but for some reason they never get to me? I think it’s because I can’t relate to Kanaya or Rose at all. I get super immersed when reading from Dave, Roxy or Dirk’s perspective, because they all think and feel like me. I’ve never felt that way about Rose or Kanaya :/
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HoC Onion !
[TW mention of sexual abuse/violence]
I’m foregoing the pros/cons format here but generally-speaking my negative points are still gathered at the top w the highlights near the end.
Obviously, between letting a sex offender have a platform in mass media and potholes, I’d choose the latter. My below crits absolutely are not a demand for Spacey to be brought back and he can die in a fire for all i care. I just wish his character’s absence was not the nº1 reason for this season not making any sense
as far as i can gather, this season’s primary arc is as much about Frank’s death (in lieu of Doug’s) as it is Claire’s emotional and political divorce from Frank while she undergoes your traditional postbreakup analysis of who she was pre Frank and post Frank and were Frank actually there this idea might have legs
...but instead we have Doug ://
the level of intensity that the plot demands cannot be carried by forcing Doug into being a deeper character than he was intended, all the way until the end, he truly just reads as either a pitiful sadist or a henchman. It’s disharmonious and dangerously close to bad.
Frances Underwood makes more sense if Frank dies in episode 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s literally going to be his reincarnation!!!!!!!
literally...who cares if Doug gets stabbed by Frank’s letter opener? whomst?
Doug can’t be Frank’s proxy, but sans a certain pedoph*le, the plot will just have to suffer.
Other side effects of Doug’s undeserved promotion include but are not limited to:
forcing Doug to share the role of antagonist with the Shepards, yet another New Villain © that feels totally unnecessary and confusing (the Conways at least got two seasons)
Frank’s diary feels forced and out of character for someone decidedly so unsentimental
How does Claire have a bun in the oven when she clearly didnt sleep with Frank for all of season 5 and locked herself in her room while he was being assassinated? How is a Dramatic paternity test not going to be insisted upon in the show’s universe?
fixation on Frank’s will as a McGuffin is really... I don't know boring considering no one cares for the guy? What property of his does claire stand to lose? I’m sure the rich people fandom can speculate but i honestly needed this manifested in the show via some examples instead of the grand abstraction that is The Will bc losing Frank’s assets would set Claire back but it would not directly threaten her presidency. Not to mention that i’m not entirely sure Frank’d have Doug of all people as his sole heir if it didn't serve as revenge against Claire, which just lowers Doug’s importantance even more
Frank never cared for Doug, a largely unlikeable character, which we already knew from the beginning, so Doug’s entire arc is pathetic at best as well as his tangential inclusion in the Cliare v Frank arc
My major problems with Doug’s character began as early as season 4.
Did not understand why they didn't actually have Doug switch sides by joining the Dunbar campaign in earnest in season 4. Like... it’s such an obvious opportunity to Thicken The Plot © that it’s reached this gif levels of dropping the ball:
P much everything about Doug’s character since then is just so.... lacking, while for the last few seasons they give him depth when he magically has empathy for one (1) woman before she dies (possibly as a direct result of his actions). This entire plot about him evaluating why he was so loyal to Frank could've been unpacked whilst he avoids Dunbar finding out about the murders he did commit. I’d rather him having agency than be a flat, troubled underling.
Aright I'm going to stop complaining about Doug. In season 3 and 4, his insecurity over being replaced and his sacrifices for Frank (and subsequent guilt) came close to giving us a real Moment with him as we delve more into how colourless his life outside of work really is. But beyond that, when his character started getting repetitive, there’s very little to compensate for his alternating acts of extreme narcissism/violence versus his childish confusion / self pity when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Anyways I'm basically at a point where I’d be okay if Frank’s long-lost cousin replaced Doug replacing Frank
I’m appreciating the writers’ distinct refrain from plot formats and that the seasons progressively move towards the Underwoods but what if just for circularity and added balance we return to having a full-on reporter B plot in s6? More emphasis on Janine and Tom’s sleuthing, culminating in Tom’s assassination and Janine publishing the tell-all expose against Frank---including a reference to Zoe---that becomes the magnum opus of her career (and Claire using that against Frank). I just think the season needed more balance that Doug, the Shepards and Tom were not offering
The Shepards and Tom, meanwhile, are decidedly banal. First of all, I had a hard time even telling Bill and Tom apart esp given that they were introduced one after the other. All white guys are the same.
Bill just kind of sits around until he has a platform to reference his favourite action movies doesn't he?
Moreover what does Tom do!? he doesn't want power, he doesnt seem to want anything. He’s just kind of there?
Unlike the Conways, the Shepards don’t have a clear goal and are not often in direct conflict with Claire the way Frank and Conway were. They want to control the presidency for money and Claire is always bouncing back from reliving her girlhood to political rivalry w Anette, yes, but what does that mean? What are the consequences? The logistics are so indirect and complicated, what precisely does Anette want? And why does anyone care? The Shepards are extremely boring.
Frank’s asides were purple and long af so I appreciate Claire’s succinct style not to mention her fantastic screen presence. I’m left to wonder, though, if maybe hers and every other aside in HoC is a little too on the nose. Like, they didn't hafta spell it out that the bird in the wall was a representation of Frank’s shadow trapping her, I think we got that
The artistic intercuts to Claire’s troubled childhood wherein a group of bullies coerce her into stripping naked through the forest, while visually stunning and clever for its self-explanatory nature, feel really passive. They don't visually show us any reason for her not to resist, the bullies even let her keep her clothes after cutting them off her so we’re left to wonder why she does nothing....
Claire was raised to be ~proper~ so her resistance (likely) comes in the form of biting, passive-aggressive poise which is hard to get across in a silent montage but it just feels.. weird
Frances Underwood is going to have a very sad childhood
nearly all the Claire flashbacks are cinematic masterpieces and as much i think Claire’s backstory deserves more attention, i also appreciate the minimalism and the choice humanising moments of her adolescence
listen I'm sure we all agree Robin Wright is peak acting but the actor for young Claire, who has the arguably harder task of copying Wright is fantastic
Of all the characters who crop up every season seemingly out of nowhere only to disappear once more once when the plot the Underwoods are done with them, Jane is one of my favourites and possibly one of the greyest characters alive. Smart, mysterious, worldly, a bit of a hippie despite her job, severe despite her sense of humour. Really loves her extremely pedestrian surname. We stan.
Secondary characters rarely get anything close to a backstory on this show, esp ones that were introduced so late. Still, her motivations seem more complicated then others (i.e. betraying Cathy, one of two people she cares about) and I wonder if they deserve a bit more of an explanation. Especially seeing as she has a relationship with every major character.
If anyone deserves a spin-off it might be Jane and her name-dropping career/social life
Cathy faking her own death with a terrible french accent? On stan !!!
Seth teasing Doug even while he’s completely undervalued by everyone around him is a power move
Impressed that they managed three characters named Tom, their distinctly different appearances and the fact that they're almost never in the same POV shots works to separate them.
Claire using the word “female” even facetiously is cringe
Whenever they use the cinema room, the movie they watch is always symbolic. Before the 2017 election, Frank and Claire imitate the characters in Double Indemnity, and this season a pregnant claire watches Rosemary’s Baby. Clever.
i liked the whitehouse tour guide’s inclusion and the cameo from _____ though this season was especially white without their usual token secondary character
So overall i liked season 6 as an exploration of Claire’s character even while it did v little justice to most of the other characters and unfortunately spacey’s absence did affect the storyline
and finally: that cinnamontography !
Not that the series should be pushed past its prime, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see Claire as a mother?
#hoc#house of cards#robin wright#claire underwood#hoc season 6#house of cards season 6#u#c#onion post
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Story Pitches
Budding Love (Alternate title possibility is Flowering Love)
Log-line: Japanese high-school boy named goes to a a high school where all the girls are personified roses. He must choose between one of these girls.
Premise: You have transferred to a new school. There, you see some really cute girls. Wearing different colored skirts and the school’s traditional green tights, they are personified roses. Pick which “rose” appeals to you and earn their love.
Characters:
Main characters: Protagonist (Default name Rodas) Aka Rosabelle, Shiro Rozu, Ki Rosie, and Ao Rosemary
Side characters: Momoiro Rosalind, Orenji Roz, Rabenda Rosina, and Kuro Bara (If DLC, they can also be lovers)
Character description: Rodas like all male protagonists is rather cliche. Depending on your decisions, he can be mean or kind.
Aka Rosabelle is a beautiful, popular girl. Can be vain but sweet. She is the easiest girl to make fall in love with you since she is into romance.
Shiro Rozu is a sweet, shy, innocent girl. She is interested in romance but doesnt’ throw herself into it like Aka.
Ki Rosie is hyperactive and a tomboy. She is easy to become friends with, but you have to make the right choices in order to have her as a girlfriend. When she falls in love, the tips of her yellow hair will turn red.
Ao Rosemary is not a popular girl. She gets shunned by most of the school for her appearance. She is usually sad, and doesn’t speak much, making it hard to get to know her. Takes a longer time to complete her route due to her mysteriousness.
Momoiro Rosalind is similar to Aka, except she isn’t vain and, like Shiro, wants to be in a relationship but will wait for you to make that special move to romance. Popular in school because she is sweet.
Orenji Roz is cheerful like Ki and also a tomboy.
Rabenda Rosina is a girl who loves magic. Always wearing a purple witch hat, she is seen doing magic of all kinds. Is a nice and kind girl.
Kuro Bara is the scariest girl in school. Resembling Sadako from Ringu she creeps everyone out with her long black hair and constantly glaring eyes. However, if you get to know her, you might get to look past her appearances and see her inner beauty. Like Ao, she will be the hardest one to date due to her attitude.
Notes: First names are colors in Japanese. Aka=rose, Shiro=white, Ki=yellow, Ao=blue, Momoiro= noun version of pink, Orenji=orange, Rabenda=lavender, and Kuro=black
Surnames are different names for rose in many languages. Rosabelle can be English for beautiful rose, Rozu is one of the Japanese words for rose, along with Bara. Rosie is American for rose-like, Rosemary means bitter rose in English, Roselyn is a Spanish version of Rosalind and means beautiful rose, Roz is a short version of Rosalind in America, and Rosina is Irish for a small rose
Rodas is Spanish for roses.
The Holidays of Loving (Title WIP)
Log-line: A new holiday goes to a high school with other holidays
Premise: You are a new holiday (appropriate name can be chosen by player). You happen to find some pretty holidays at this school. To the world, they are known as Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Choose which of these cute holidays will be your girlfriend.
Characters: Protagonist, Noel Yuki, Amor Blush, Isuta Usagi, Medi Phantom, and Harvestia Kansha.
Character description: Noel Yuki is a chubby girl with white hair and dressed in red and fur. Even her bathing suit is red and lined with fur. She is generous, cheerful, and loves children. She has 8 pet reindeer and is in charge of the woodshop club.
Amor Blush is a sweet girl who desires romance. Pink hair, pale skin, and wears pink clothes. Head of the archery club and with a sweet tooth. She is also the school’s unofficial matchmaker.
Isuta Usagi is a furry bunny girl with gray twintails. Head of the art club, she raises chickens and paints eggs. She also has a habit of hiding anything in random spots. She is shy and rather jumpy.
Medi Phantom is mischevious and has a huge sweet tooth. She is head of the Occult club and spends her time playing pranks. The school does find her scary but still love her.
Harvestia Kansha is a bird girl who loves to cook and give food. She has long brown hair decorated with colorful feathers. She is not as popular as the other girls in school and has a love-hate relationship with Noel. Head of the Cooking Club.
Notes: Yuki means snow, Isuta is Japanese for Easter and Usagi means bunny, Medi is short for Medusa because of her hair, and Kansha is part of the word Kansha-sai, which means Thanksgiving
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Seven Clarifications On Yellow Canvas Ideas | yellow canvas ideas
Sick of sourdough yet? Aloof kidding, we’ll never get annoyed of it either. But we are accessible for a new baking project. Enter garden focaccia, the easiest admiration you’ll anytime put on the table. The aliment is a assert to accomplish (you can acknowledge your baking sheet) and serves as a appetizing canvas for all of your wildest comestible designs. Here’s aggregate you charge to apperceive about this appealing trend, additional tips for authoritative your own.
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Focaccia is a blazon of Italian flatbread that’s usually acclimatized with olive oil and salt. It’s additionally about brindled with herbs, like rosemary. Authoritative focaccia from blemish is a lot like authoritative pizza dough, alone with a bit added leavening. Focaccia’s doughy acme makes it abundant for assimilation up adorned olive oil, pasta sauce, soup or bloom dressing. Our admired way to accomplish it is in a belted baking area (hey, sheet-pan commons never go out of style) because it helps accord the focaccia its signature aureate crust, but a accepted baking pan or bucket will get the job done too.
The floral designs are acutely a big acumen for the trend’s name, but not the alone one. We like to anticipate it’s additionally because you can use appealing abundant annihilation from the garden (or ya know, the aftermath section) to decorate. And the best allotment about authoritative focaccia? You don’t accept to aerate for a distinct second.
We adulation King Arthur Flour’s compound for No-Fuss Focaccia because it requires no abrasion and goes from chef to table in aloof 1½ hours, so that’s what we’ve acclimated as a guideline here. It calls for a 9 x 13-inch pan, but feel chargeless to acclimatize to what you accept on hand. Once the chef is ready, the fun being can begin. If you appetite to alpha decorating ASAP, use store-bought pizza dough. Aloof accomplish abiding to blow some holes in it afore baking so it doesn’t breath up too much. Appetite to alpha small? Our scallion and chive flatbread is a abundant abode to start. (Fair warning, you’re about to abatement in adulation with comestible flowers.)
Story continues
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Ingredients
Nonstick spray
5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided
1½ cups balmy water
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1¼ teaspoons salt
3½ cups advantageous flour
1 tablespoon burning yeast
3 tablespoons broiled butter
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Assorted broken vegetables and herbs (use what you love)
Flaky sea salt, to taste
Step 1: Aerosol a 9×13-inch pan with nonstick aerosol to accumulate the chef from sticking. Drizzle 2 tablespoons olive oil on top of the aerosol to accord the basal of
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Posting Gill’s bday fic over here with permission. It’s Rosemary-related and TLC compliant (with a couple of minor spoilers) but should be understandable even with no knowledge of the AU.
This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect any room to fill up with clutter in her presence. Your attempts to keep things tidy are as effective as holding back the tide. Expect everything to take on the feel of an epic, like you might be summoned onto a world-altering quest at a moment’s notice. It’s like a human fairy tale, but the old kind, not remakes that are all glitter and talking animals. The stories with teeth.
Don’t expect her to say that she loves you.
Don’t take it personally either. That’s what you remind yourself. Rose resists sincerity. When you presented her with the first flowers you’d grown in the new greenhouse (roses; you’d been delighted to learn she’d been named for a flower), she’d laughed uncertainly like you’d unlocked an event she didn’t have a script for. Over the next week, as the blooms withered, they moved around. First you spotted them on the windowsill, then on her bedside table, in this vase or that one, like she couldn’t figure out what place they had in her life.
On the Land of Rays and Frogs, you encountered a puzzle path made of colored lily pads. If you stepped on the wrong one, it would buckle and deposit you in a mini-boss chamber before you returned to the start, weary and wiser. Navigating this relationship feels much the same. Some of your missteps now are the inevitable outcome of two species still learning about each other, but not all of them. After reading Rose’s walkthrough, you’d daydreamed of meeting its author. Now you think you need a walkthrough for her too.
The day after your tumultuous first date, Rose dumped her concoctions down the drain, saying she could embarrass herself perfectly well without the aid of depressants. Not even a week later, she set the equipment up again.
“It might come in handy for medicinal purposes,” she said when you asked her why she’d changed her mind. “Besides, it wasn’t all bad.” She winked. “We got some mileage out of it.”
You blushed, and your rainbow drinker glow briefly flared before you wrestled it under control again. In the first few weeks you hadn’t known how the rules changed when you moved from unofficial to official. Where did you put your eyes, or your hands? What were you allowed to say? “It did make you more forward.”
She laughed, and from the sharpness on her breath you realized she’d already been sampling her experiments. “I can be so fucking uptight sometimes. Maybe we all need to lighten up. Lighten up. Get it?”
“I get it,” you said. But you didn’t.
So you sought clarification from Dave. After you quested through the meteor, lipstick at the ready in case of clown sightings, you found him topside staring back the way you’d come. At the beginning of your journey, you’d taken turns stationing yourselves there, afraid Jack would catch up and resume his rampage when you least expected it. When he didn’t make an appearance, you’d all let your guards down, reducing sentry duty to a quick backward glance now and then. Was he keeping watch for Lord English now?
“Are you watching for Jack?” you asked.
He jumped and tried to cover it with a miniscule adjustment to his cape. “Nah. Watching Skeletor blast everyone to bits.”
“You and Rose have been up here a lot recently.”
“We both came up after the first killing, you know? It was so loud.” He rubbed at his eyes underneath his shades. His skin is a few shades lighter than his sibling’s, and you could see shadows there. “It’s been hard to sleep since then. At least she’s found a way to conk out.”
“About her newfound use of soporifics.” You hesitated, staring up at the flashing lights that were already becoming familiar. It’s amazing how fast you accustom yourselves to the unthinkable. “Is that normal for humans?”
He frowned. (Later, he’d tell you he hadn’t been sure how to respond. “I didn’t want to fuck it up for you two,” he said. “I didn’t think it’d get that bad.”) “Hard to say what’s normal in our situation. Guess a lot of people would pull out a bottle after everything we’ve gone through. Better than sticking a forty-five in your mouth. She’s always been extreme about reacting to things. It’s hard to believe we’re the same damn species sometimes, let alone siblings.”
“I didn’t think an outing with me is so terrible you have to be out of your wits to enjoy it.” You didn’t mean to sound petulant, but his eyebrows rose.
“She doesn’t mean it like that.”
“I thought you didn’t understand her.”
“It would take an institutional thinktank to really figure her out, but I do a little.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. He does that when he’s being serious sometimes. “I think the whole thing freaked her out. Freaks her out, present tense, if you’re officially an item now. Congrats, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
Another spiderweb of cracks blossomed above your heads. You could see them reflected in Dave’s shades as he said, “I don’t think she trusts anyone being nice to her 100%, that’s all. Not even me.”
Rose has been clean for months now in human terms. You both have. The first few weeks of your victory were spent dealing with the effects of abandoning your substances of choice. You stumbled around feeling as if you’d been dipped in concrete, your movements and thoughts slow and ponderous. Rose went days without sleep and flinched away from things the rest of you couldn’t see. Roxy warned you of what to expect, since she’d gone through the process before. She’s also the one who told you to remind Rose to eat. “She’s not gonna want to,” she said. “You feel gross all over and the last thing you want to do is stick more shit in your body, but if you don’t eat you’ll just feel crummier.”
You’d noticed her drinking her meals before, but you’d never brought it up beyond meaningful glances or the pointed placement of foodstuffs in her respiteblock. Rose has always been good at dodging questions. “Do you have any suggestions for a strategic approach? She’ll try to deflect me with witticisms. Her barbs are floppy at the edges right now, but my defenses are equally compromised.”
“That’s a cute way of saying you’re both fucked up.” Roxy shrugged. “I can’t beat her in a war of words, and I wouldn’t try. My advice? Sit on her and force feed her Saltines while telling her it’s for her own good.”
You had been skipping meals yourself. Even after eating normal food, you still felt hungry. Your system wanted something else to satisfy it, so what was the point? Rose latched on to that hypocrisy when you tried to nag her, so you’d end up sitting across the table from each other with plates of leftovers cold from the fridge, matching each other mouthful for mouthful. Whatever worked.
The worst of that is past now. But sometimes she still behaves in ways that make you wonder if after all these sweeps she really trusts you.
-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --
GA: Jade
GA: Shes Doing It Again
GG: whos doing what? :o
GA: You Know Who
GA: Who Else Do I Come To You In Search Of Explanations For Their Inexplicable Habits
GA: Show Some Space Player Solidarity Here
GA: There Are So Few Of Us Who View Common Sense As Part Of A Complete Breakfast
GG: for everyone else its an optional granola to sprinkle on top
GA: The Recipe Said Season To Taste And Im Afraid Theres A Serious Lack Of That In The Premises
GA: Ok Can We Cut The Extended Cooking Metaphor Out
GG: yeah, it was getting a little meanspirited
GA: That Too I Guess Mostly I Didnt Want To Get Stuck Exchanging Culinary Puns
GG: ok, what terrible thing is rose doing now
GA: She Has Locked Herself In Her Room And Has Been Listening To Her Playlist Designated For Angst For Three Hours
GG: lol
GG: that behavior cannot stand!
GG: except it sort of can, since we all have a right to privacy
GG: even if we exercise that right by listening to sad music all day
GG: these things cannot be revoked for bad taste
GA: Actually Most Of It Has Been Pretty Good
GA: Filtering Through The Door Gives It Nice Acoustics
GG: maybe you need to give her some... space :D :D :D
GA: I Just Want To Know What Upset Her
GA: She Says It Wasnt Me But I Dont Know If That Means It Wasnt Me Or It Was Me And I Am Expected To Work That Out On My Own
GA: A Reassessment Of The Past Few Days Activities Hasnt Turned Up Anything Suspicious
GG: i cant think of anything that might have upset her...
GG: ohhhhhhhhhh
GG: i think its her moms birthday
GG: that might be it
GA: How Did You Know
GA: Is That Supposed To Be Common Knowledge
GG: she complained one time about having to go to a fancy dinner
GG: something thrown by her moms colleagues i think???
GG: her mom made her dress up in something frilly, she said she felt like an american girl doll
GG: to be honest she sent a picture and i thought it was a cute dress!!
GG: definitely not her style though
GA: Im Impressed You Remember
GG: i try to keep track of these things
GG: it was nice hearing about everyones lives, i always wished I could do things like that
GG: tell me your lususes birthday, i will put it in my calendar
GA: I Never Knew It
GA: I Wish Shed Told Me
GA: Rose I Mean I Dont Think Wriggling Days Are Important For Virgin Mothergrubs
GG: dont take it personally
GG: she does it to all of us, and youre her girlfriend so she has to be EXTRA secretive about terrible and compromising things like emotions
GA: That Logic Sounds Backward
GG: the human mind is a complicated maze of mystery kanaya
GA: Sounds Mysterious
GG: it is
GG: she probably doesnt realize its stressing you out, i know shes trying to be better about that kind of thing
GG: you know, COMMUNICATION!! D:
GA: No Please Anything But That
GG: the achilles heel of our entire household
GG: i can bug her if you want
GA: No Thats Ok
GA: Mostly I Wanted To Make Sure I Hadnt Caused This And Needed To Resolve It
GA: If She Wants To Grieve By Herself I Understand
GG: if shes still in there by dinner well root her out!
GG: there is a limit to how many sad songs are good for your soul
GA: Ok
GA: In The Meantime Do You Have Any Work That Needs Doing In The Greenhouse
GA: Id Like To Keep My Hands Busy
GG: theres some stuff that needs deadheading on table three
GG: do you want company?
GA: No Thats Fine
GA: Ill Talk To You Later
GG: sure thing!
-- ¬¬grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
GA: Im Sorry About Your Mother
TT: Who told you about that?
GA: Jade
TT: Figures.
TT: Lousy goddamn supportive friends.
GA: She Has Said She Will Flush You Out If You Dont Come Down To Dinner GA: Do You Feel Up To It
GA: Otherwise I Can Convince Her To Leave You Be
GA: She Is Easily Distracted From Her Resolutions If You Know How To Play Your Gaming Rectangles Right
TT: No, I'll be there.
TT: What time is it?
GA: Half Past Five So No Rush
GA: Im Still Gardening And Havent Washed Up
TT: It might take me that long to get presentable.
GA: Was Her Wriggling Day Important To You
GA: I Admit The Concept Is New To Me
GA: What With Our Ancestors Being So Far Removed From Our Lives And Our Guardians Being Literal Fauna Who Did Not Celebrate Notable Dates
TT: It’s probably not even her real birthday.
TT: We were all created on the same day, and I doubt anyone was on hand to record when her meteor touched down.
TT: She must have picked a day she liked.
TT: We used to give each other over-the-top gifts every year.
TT: I thought she was being passive aggressive, so I reciprocated in turn.
TT: The last year, I thought about getting her a bedazzled martini glass, but I didn’t get around to it.
TT: Thank god.
TT: I can only hope she interpreted my gestures as sincere as readily as I interpreted hers as sarcastic.
TT: Otherwise she must have thought I was the worst daughter imaginable.
GA: Im Sure She Didnt Think That
TT: I wish I’d given her something better.
TT: Something genuine.
GA: I Was Working On A New Hat For Nepeta During The Game
GA: I Got Some Monster Slime On Her Old One With A Sloppy Chainsaw Maneuver And Even Though She Said It Wasnt The First Time I Wanted To Make It Up To Her
GA: And Help At Least One Of My Teammates Diversify Their Wardrobe
TT: There’s always an ulterior motive, isn’t there?
GA: You Tell Me
GA: You Are The Expert In Decoding The Nefarious Meaning Hidden Within Every Exchange Of Pleasantries
TT: It’s a secret code, Kanaya.
TT: The sixth grader who tossed the newspaper into our yard this morning is working with the KGB. That’s what "Good morning" meant. This is well established in spy manuals.
GA: My Knowledge Of Human Subterfuge Is Always Expanding
GA: The Hat Was Supposed To Be A Surprise
GA: Then I Found It In A Treasure Chest Not Long Into Our Journey
GA: Theyre Gone And You Know That But Then You Find Something That Reminds You
GA: Oh
GA: Ill Never Give Her That Will I
TT: I don’t know what I would’ve done if we’d lost anyone from our session.
TT: Well, I do know. I have memories from a timeline where we lost half.
TT: It wasn’t pretty.
TT: I know in a lot of ways we got lucky.
GA: Its Not A Contest GA: You Dont Have To Have Had It Worst To Feel Bad
TT: I know.
TT: But it’s hard.
GA: See Look At Us Talking About Our Emotions Isnt That Nice
GA: A Horrible Kind Of Nice
TT: Or a nice kind of horrible.
TT: Either or.
GA: The Juxtaposition Is Key
TT: I didn't mean to shut you out.
GA: I Know You Need Privacy Sometimes
GA: I Would Just Prefer To Know Whats Going On So I Dont Have To Worry About Whats Wrong
GA: And You Know You Can Talk To Me
TT: I know. Intellectually.
TT: Is it weird I can trust you all with my life but not always with my feelings?
GA: Kind Of
GA: But I Get It
GA: Were All Weird About Some Things
TT: I'm trying to do better. And I'll let you know next time I need to indulge in a three-hour sad jams session so you won't worry.
TT: Maybe after I've run through my playlist, we can even talk about it.
GA: We Can Sit Awkwardly At A Table Waiting For The Other One To Break The Silence First
TT: A tradition.
GA: Also I Should Let You Know Its Stir Fry Night
TT: Really?
TT: You should have led with that.
TT: Save me a seat.
As time passes, you all improve with hesitant steps that sometimes send you sliding back, sometimes not. Rose throws herself into her walkthrough, which she plans to distribute to anyone else caught up in SGRUB’s gears. Everyone is on consultant duty to flesh out areas of personal expertise. You, however, are her co-editor, a position of special privilege.
Rose views the work as one more way to help whatever players come after you. Your motivation is less selfless. Once, several sweeps and universes ago, an alien’s words found you and gave you something to hang on to. Somewhere, in a distant galaxy, someone else is being forced to play this game. Maybe your words can reach them, like Rose’s reached you. Working on the walkthrough now lets you build something together in a way that she won’t dismiss as sappy and overdone, a love letter for the universe.
That doesn’t mean you don’t run into difficulties, of course.
TT: Have you had a chance to look over the Prospit chapter?
GA: Oh Uh
GA: Ive Seen It
TT: Did you have any feedback?
TT: I'm going to ask Jade too, but I thought I'd give you the first shot.
GA: Um
GA: I Dont Know
TT: Was it that off-base?
TT: I know I'm a Derse dreamer, but I tried to be thorough.
GA: Its More The Tone
GA: You Wrote That Prospit May Look Friendlier But Should Still Be Viewed As An Antagonist Because It Has Ulterior Motives
GA: And Maybe Thats True Especially About The Clouds
GA: But My Time On The Moon Was The Brighter Portion Of My Childhood
GA: And The People Of Prospit Were Always Kind To Me
GA: So I Guess The Framing Made Those Memories Feel Kind Of
GA: Threatened
TT: Oh.
GA: It Isnt A Logical Reaction
TT: What do you think I should change?
GA: I Dont Know
GA: Maybe Nothing
GA: Youre The Expert Here I Know Im Biased Toward My Moon Whatever Systems It Might Be Part Of
GA: We All Take That View About Some Parts Of Our Youth Dont We
GA: Even If It Was Part Of Something Bad We Remember The Good Moments
GA: We Hold On To The Small Kindnesses
TT: …Yeah.
GA: You Can Disregard That Feedback
GA: Youre The One With Writing Expertise And A Clear Goal In Mind
GA: I Dont Really Know What Im Doing
GA: Youre Better At This
TT: I’m really not.
TT: I just put on a more convincing show.
TT: Don’t dismiss yourself. You have expertise in areas I don’t.
GA: I Guess Im Not As Used To Putting Myself Out There
TT: You can come up with a clever pen name.
TT: There’s a tradition of vampires spelling their names backward.
GA: Im Reformed
TT: An anagram then, maybe.
TT: Jokes aside, this is a collaborative project. We’ve got a Google doc and everything.
TT: I don't want to intergalactically publish anything you're not comfortable with.
TT: How about a revision session this evening? I'll bring Lofthouse cookies.
GA: The Ones That Are Just Discs Of Sugar And Flour
TT: With nary a redeeming nutritional quality in sight.
TT: Keep that quiet, though. Jane would kill me if she knew I was smuggling them into the house.
GA: Sounds Great Ill Be There
Rose’s typical drafting position is on her stomach with her laptop propped up on the pillow. You prefer to stretch your legs out with your back up against the wall. Thermoses of tea balance precariously between the two of you on the mattress.
“There’s been a lot of activity on the kernelsprite document,” Rose says, flicking through the pages. “Apparently Hal listed “100 advantages of being prototyped” and Dirk replaced it with “Most of this list is either illegal or immoral.” I’m turning track changes on to see what they were.”
You tap your fingers idly on the keys while your own husktop buffers. “Anything good?”
“Get away with murder,” she reads. “That’s cliché, you don’t even have to be a sprite for that. I think he just put it in there to be edgy. He’s trying so hard; you have to respect that. It’s like when I started buying black makeup to try to spite my mother.” She scrolls down further. “Oh, here’s a good one. Clip through the floor.”
“I’ve seen John do it. He’s not as original as he thinks he is.” You peer at her screen. “Eat your enemy’s phone. I’ll give him points for one. It’s not feasible for most mortals.”
Rose reaches across your legs for another cookie. “Sure, if you’re a coward.”
“I’ll accept that designation if it means avoiding a mouthful of circuitry.”
She chews thoughtfully and then flicks a sprinkle off onto the carpet. At least you’re in her room. Still, you feel a compulsion to pick it up. “About what you were saying earlier. I don’t want to contribute to any lingering insecurities.”
The change of topics catches you off guard. “They’re milling around in the lobby, but I’m not letting them upstairs.” You shrug, your shoulders sliding up the wall. “As we’ve been reminding each other, we can’t fix everything about ourselves immediately. I’m more confident than I used to be. I didn’t let Jake talk me into that routine with the glitter.”
“Shame.” She frowns at you, an expression diluted somewhat by a rim of frosting on her upper lip. “I’m not commandeering this project too much, am I? It’s nice to have something to be enthusiastic about again, but maybe I’m getting carried away.”
“No, you’re being very accommodating.” You squirm, smoothing out inconsequential creases in your skirt. Sometimes feelings don’t make sense. But once Rose decides she wants to talk about them, she tries to pin them to the page and dissect them. She does it because she wants to understand and help, the same way she wants to reverse engineer SBURB with words to assist players who come after. That doesn’t make the process any more pleasant when you’re the one on the operating table. “The problem is on my end, in the concern lobby. The lurking insecurities have been taking numbers for a while, and the counter is only up to twelve.”
“Like Inside Out crossed with a DMV? Hellish.” Rose picks up a pen and rolls it between her fingers. She likes to draft things longhand first sometimes. “I remember back on the last day of the game, you said you thought everyone burned brighter than you. You must’ve realized by now that my “burning brighter” is mostly because I have a habit of setting myself on fire.”
You’ll admit you’d been starstruck by the walkthrough’s mysterious author. It had been nice to harbor a new secret crush once Vriska was a lost cause. And you’d first met Rose face to face as a newly risen goddess bathed in the luminescence of the Green Sun. She’d seemed ethereal and beyond you.
Then, after the first few hours of sorting out living arrangements and watching Karkat roam around yelling for Gamzee to give the bodies back, she’d announced she was going to “sleep for a fucking week” and faceplanted into the nearest rug. Dave didn’t help beyond alchemizing some safety cones and setting them up around her. That had helped a little. So had seeing what her hair looks like in the mornings. “If you’re worried I have some unattainable vision of you set on a mental altar, rest easy. But you did restructure the multiverse with nothing but nerve, so I might still want your autograph a little.”
Rose brandishes the pen. “Only on the condition I get to sign your bra.” When you wave her away, she drops it on the pillow. “Spearheading the multiverse operation is one of my prouder accomplishments, I’ll admit, but my violet-tinged authorial prowess is entirely due to thinking I was hot shit as a pre-teen on the Internet. Besides, if we’re talking bragging rights, you fixed reality. Not to mention put up with us idiots for three years.”
“That was a struggle.” At times you’d wondered if you were the only one on the meteor keeping ahold of your wits. “Remember when the ceiling panels gave way and Gamzee fell onto the table?”
“Not our best group dinner. But you see, I’m a mess. You’re the one who has her act together.”
You frown. Being praised for your stability is a sore spot of yours. Yes, you’d been the one to bear everyone else’s struggles. That doesn’t mean you liked it. “I had to. Someone did. It got tiring after a while, though.”
Rose winces. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You shouldn’t have had to. But it is impressive that you did.”
“You were sick,” you say, in response to her apology.
You see her shoulder blades rise and fall in a muted shrug. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you should have had to deal with it.”
“I guess…” Maybe you’re the one who’s prompted her to speak up, but you struggle with your words too. Troll culture teaches you that open exchanges of feelings are for moirails. Palemates are the only people you can trust the depths of your soul to, if you can truly trust anyone at all. Humans don’t compartmentalize in the same way. You can see the benefits of that system, but you still fear saying the wrong thing will push her away. “You undercut yourself to tell me I’m better than I think I am. But if I’m already worried about measuring up to some standard, that just pushes us both lower. Do you see what I mean?”
“The self-deprecation’s not cute. Got it.” She twists around in what is probably some kind of advanced yoga pose to look you in the eye. “But you shouldn’t undersell yourself either, ok?”
When she doesn’t break eye contact, you nod reluctantly. “This is a very affirming argument we’re having.”
She reaches over and prods you with the pen. “I’m channeling Jake. Believe in yourself.”
You smile. “It’s hard to resist, these days.”
When you’re done for the evening, Rose captchalogues her laptop and you troop out. Everyone has their own room, but all of you tend to spend more of your nights in the common area curled up in armchairs or slumped over each other on sofas, within easy sight of each other when you wake from bad dreams. After a few weeks of intentionally lingering there until you fell asleep, you made it official and filled the whole room with soft materials like a huge communal pile. Terezi even taped up democratically-determined regulations. Rose spends some nights curled up next to you with her face shoved so close against your neck you wonder how she can breathe. Sometimes, though, she retreats to a corner with a pillow at her back like a wall. You know not to approach her then.
Tonight, she finds an empty patch of floor and drops down on it. You lower yourself next to her.
“Are you happy with the chapter now?” she asks.
“I’d like to give it another pass tomorrow, but it’s much better.”
“And everything else?”
“That’s better too.”
“Good.” She gives you a peck on the lips and, when Terezi wolfwhistles, flips her the bird and kisses you for real. You kiss her back, until… You pull away.
“Are you wearing my lip balm?”
“Maybe.” She purses the lips in question. “It’s got a good flavor.”
“I was wondering where that went. You know, you could have just asked to borrow it.” Grudgingly, anyway. She has a terrible habit of licking the stuff off and then reapplying it to start the cycle anew.
Rose raises an eyebrow. “You offered to do my laundry so you could steal my favorite shirt.”
You think, with only a modicum of guilt, of the shirt you have stashed behind the laundry basket in your closet. “It’s very soft.”
“I’m never getting that back, am I?”
“Probably not.”
She sticks her tongue out at you and pulls a blanket over her shoulders. “Night.”
“Good night,” you say. That’s the only endearment you exchange.
-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
GA: Karkat
GA: Karkat Answer Your Phone I Know You Can See This
GA: Youre Looking At It Right Now
CG: YEAH I SURE AM.
CG: I'M STARING AT THIS MARVELOUS HUNK OF PLASTIC AND ELECTRICITY IN MY HANDS AND REFLECTING ON HOW IT GRANTS US THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER FROM ANY DISTANCE.
CG: SUCH AS, FOR EXAMPLE, EIGHT FUCKING FEET AWAY.
GA: This Is Private
CG: I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A CONCEPT OF PRIVACY ANYMORE.
CG: COLOR ME SURPRISED, SO SOME THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES *AREN’T* SUPPOSED TO BE COMMON KNOWLEDGE?
GA: It Might Help If You Spoke With Any Kind Of Discretion Or Volume Control
CG: NOT AN OPTION.
CG: CARRY ON.
GA: Youve Watched A Lot Of Human Romances
GA: What Is The Appropriate Interval Before Affirmations Of Matespritship Are Exchanged
GA: You Know Like
GA: Uh
CG: "I LOVE YOU"?
GA: Yes That
CG: THE FIRST STEP IS BEING ABLE TO TYPE IT INTO A PRIVATE CHAT SESSION WITHOUT BLUSHING.
CG: I CAN SEE YOU OVER THERE.
GA: Dammit
GA: What Is The Waiting Period Here Like Three Sweeps
CG: SO I GUESS SHE HASN'T DONE IT YET?
GA: Well
GA: Not Sober
GA: She Was Quite Eager To Confess Admiration While On Soporifics
GA: To Everyone And Everything Including Inanimate Objects
GA: Im Not Sure Such Exchanges No Matter How Heartfelt Can Be Considered Fully Genuine
CG: YOU'RE IN LUCK, A LOT OF HUMAN FILMS COVER THIS IN DEPTH.
CG: IF YOU WANT I CAN ARRANGE A VIEWING SESSION WITH SOME MORE INFORMATIVE SELECTIONS.
GA: That Might Be Fun
GA: But Mostly I Would Appreciate Some Friendly Advice
GA: As Educational As Im Sure The Latest Work Starring Anne Hathaway Would Be
CG: AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY IS:
CG: IT USUALLY DOESN’T TAKE THIS LONG.
CG: BUT THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE OLDER, THE SAME SPECIES, AND HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH A WAR, SO IT’S NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE.
CG: ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT IT?
GA: Not Exactly
GA: I Know The Sentiment Is There
GA: If Anything I Just Hope She Feels Comfortable Enough She Knows She Can Be Open With Me
GA: Shes Trying But I Can Tell Its Still Difficult For Her
CG: DAVE SAYS "its obvious shes crazy about you" SO NO WORRIES THERE.
GA: Why Is Dave Part Of This Conversation
CG: HE WALKED OVER AND LOOKED AT MY PHONE OVER THE BACK OF THE SOFA.
CG: LIKE I SAID. PRIVACY = ZERO
GA: Hi Dave
CG: HE SAYS HI.
GA: I Saw Him Wave
GA: Now Tell Him To Go Away
CG: AND HE’S GONE.
CG: THE CHAT IS CLEAR OF FUTURE BROTHERS-IN-LAW.
GA: Future What
CG: THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL BE IF YOU AND ROSE GET "HUMAN MARRIED".
CG: THE RITUAL MAKES YOU FAMILY WITH THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY.
CG: I’M PRETTY SURE IT WAS HISTORICALLY DESIGNED TO ACQUIRE ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL ADVANTAGES.
CG: YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE HOW INTERCASTE MOIRALLEGIANCES CAN AFFORD LOWER CASTES PROTECTION.
CG: BUT IN MODERN TIMES MOSTLY IT MEANS YOU’RE STUCK WITH THOSE CHUCKLEFUCKS FOR LIFE AS A PACKAGE DEAL.
GA: Oh No
CG: OH YES.
GA: Karkat I May Be Rethinking This Whole Venture
CG: TOO LATE, I’M GOING TO BE YOUR BEST MAN. IT’S ALREADY DECIDED.
GA: What Is A Best Man
GA: Is It Whoever I Have Designated If I Were For Some Reason Obligated To Wed Someone Of That Gender
CG: NO.
CG: THE MOVIES AREN’T ENTIRELY CLEAR ABOUT THEIR ROLE, BUT IN GENERAL THEY GIVE HEARTFELT SPEECHES AND PROVIDE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
GA: Maybe I Want Jake To Be My Best Man
GA: He Can Recite Touching Monologues Ripped From The Silver Screen
CG: YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS WHATSOEVER.
CG: (YOU KNOW I’M JOKING, RIGHT?)
GA: I Figured
GA: Although I Wouldn’t Put It Past You To Try To Plan That Kind Of Thing Out For Me
CG: HEY IF YOU EVER WANT IDEAS, I CAN THROW SOME OUT THERE.
CG: YOU’RE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THAT KIND OF THING THOUGH.
CG: AND WE STILL HAVE TO GET YOU FROM POINT A TO POINT B, WHICH INVOLVES TRAVERSING THE ROCKY TERRAIN OF EMOTIONAL HONESTY, WITH WHICH I HAVE HAD NO PAST PROBLEMS AT ALL.
CG: YOU COULD ALWAYS SAY IT FIRST YOURSELF I GUESS.
CG: UNLESS YOU THINK THAT’LL MAKE HER EVEN MORE NERVOUS?
GA: It Might
GA: Outright Displays Of Emotion Embarrass Her She Relates It Too Much To Her Drunken Excesses And Those Of Her Mother
GA: If I Can Be Permitted To Psychoanalyze Here
GA: Shes Admitted As Much
CG: THEN… LET HER KNOW SHE CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE?
CG: THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY EXCITING, BUT MAYBE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO.
CG: THEY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT IN THE MOVIES BUT I THINK AS LONG AS YOU’RE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE WHETHER THOSE THREE EXACT WORDS HAVE ESCAPED YOUR QUIVERING CHUTE FLAPS DOESN’T MATTER ALL THAT MUCH.
CG: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE. I’M PRETTY SURE YOU’VE GOT THAT COVERED.
CG: MOVIES AREN’T ALWAYS THAT REALISTIC ABOUT WHICH PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP ARE A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE VERSUS WHICH PARTS ARE NEGOTIABLE.
GA: !!
CG: YEAH YEAH RUB IT IN.
CG: SO I RELIED ON THEM A LOT, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAD MUCH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
GA: I Shouldnt Criticize This Was Helpful
GA: Thanks For Listening
GA: And I Would Like To Watch Movies With You Sometime If That Offer Is Still On The Table
CG: DEFINITELY.
CG: I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I’VE GOT A GOOD LINEUP PULLED TOGETHER.
A few days later, Rose wanders into your room unannounced and flops onto the bed. This isn’t uncommon behavior, so you keep sorting through your clean laundry. Her cat behaves similarly, insinuating himself into a room as if he belongs there. It’s a lazy confidence you envy. “We should go out,” she says, directing her words at the ceiling.
“We should?” you ask, holding two socks up to see if they match. They don’t, exactly, but they are a pair. Rose knitted them for you herself. They’re lumpy and awkwardly shaped, and you treasure them.
“We were going to do something fun after the game, remember? That was the plan. But we've both been sick, and outside is...” Rose waves toward the window and the world it serves as a barrier against. “Outside, so we haven't gotten around to it. But we should. You’ve been in your room a lot. It’ll do us both good.”
Drat. Your downturns aren’t as explosive as the others’. Sometimes you simply withdraw, spending more time on your own while a mental screen descends between you and the world, distorting it like a blur filter. There’s nothing wrong with you, exactly; it’s just that you don’t have the energy. That’s not bad, right? There are worse things than numbness. “What were you thinking we could do?”
She sits up halfway and then flops back down again. The pillows bounce. “I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”
You twist the socks together and toss them into the appropriate drawer. “The only thing I remember suggesting was outfits without sleeves.”
“Compelling, but not really something to make a date out of.” Rose frowns. “Have we ever... had a normal date? By regular people's standards?”
“Troll or human?” You shake your head. “I don't think any species would give us a passing grade.”
“Earthworms might be impressed.”
You pout. “You've never taken me to any good plots of soil.”
“We'll do that next time. For now, Jane said someone needs to do the shopping.”
“You know how to sweep me off my feet.”
Rose, still prone, waves a list in your direction. “It'll be fun. We get to pick which flavor of potato chips we want, and everyone else has to live with it.”
If Alternia had anything like supermarkets, they hadn’t spread near your oasis. For all that your caste can stand the sun, the electric lights hurt your eyes. They’re too bright – a harsh white that makes all the bright colors look flat and artificial. You reach for Rose’s hand, and she squeezes it. “I appreciate the support,” you say, “but I wanted to see the list.”
“Oh. Right.” She brings it up for both of you to consult. “Does Jade know how expensive beef is? She’s really running us through it.”
“She’s been talking about growing vegetables for the household. It’s too bad she can’t raise her own cows.”
“Don’t give her ideas. She wouldn’t be able to bring herself to butcher them, not after we’d named them all.” Rose leads you to the back of the store and scoops up slabs of meat packed into tidy foam and plastic containers. The setup is so clinical your residual rainbow drinker instincts don’t even twitch. It’s a far cry from the Alternian pastime of slicing your dinner up while it’s still wriggling. “We need milk,” she begins, and trails off after she pivots to the left. “It was that way in my old store. But they must not follow a common plan.”
Rose looks unmoored now that her navigational confidence has been broken. A lot of the humans are like this, wavering when their world doesn’t behave the way they think it should. It’s almost easier for those of you who expect foreign ways and customs. It’s harder to be a stranger in your own home. “We’ll wander,” you say, and steer her firmly by the shoulder.
By a combination of trial and error and studying signage like relics of a lost civilization, you manage to gather everything on the list. The only problem comes when you pass a series of shelves stacked with bottles, and Rose stiffens. It takes a moment for the pieces to fall into place – you’ve never seen wine packaged in its original containers before.
”Come on,” you say, linking your arm with hers. “Help me test which limes are ripest.”
You have to tug for a moment before she comes with you. You don’t think she’s planning to make a running leap for the vintage. If anything, she looks like she does when there’s an enemy sighted, wary and ready to spring. If she destroys several wine racks with a blast of divine light, that’ll probably go on your bill.
”Sorry,” she says, once you’ve made it to the produce section. “At my old store, it was in a separate room. Not out in the open.”
You lean toward her a little, so your shoulders press together. “It took you by surprise.”
She leans back. “Like pulling down your sheets and seeing a spider in your bed.” You see a dot of blood on her lower lip. She must have bitten it. “It must be harder for you. There’s no getting away from all that blood walking around on two legs.”
”It’s easier not to slip up, though.” You reach over with your free hand and dab at her cut, wiping the smear on the side of your shirt. “They’d make a fuss if I tried to sample it.”
”That’s what recovering alcoholics need.” She swipes at her mouth herself, but the wound is already closing. “Wine bottles that scream when you open them.”
”You’ve uncovered a new industry.”
”I need to patent it immediately.”
You squeeze her arm before letting go. If she’s making jokes, that’s a good sign.
Rose perks up when you’re heading toward the checkout. “Hang on. We have to stop by the natural foods section.”
”We do?” You check the list again. There’s nothing left on it.
”You never know,” she says. Now it’s her turn to drag you along. “The cure to all our life’s problems might be hiding next to the apricot kernels.”
Her tone is mocking. “Is there something wrong with natural products?”
”Not on their own. Jade says a lot of processed food upsets her stomach after growing up without it. But some people will pitch organic to you as the cure for cancer, and if you’re telling me you feed your four-year-old Goji berries instead of getting him vaccinated, I think you’ve opened yourself up to public disdain.” Rose plucks a box of tea off the shelf. “Look at this one. It says it’ll revitalize your body and restore harmony to your thoughts. All for twelve dollars, too.”
”Sounds like a deal.”
”It would have its work cut out for it with us. Hey, if I drink Sleepy Time and Stay Alert blends at the same time, what do you think will happen?”
”You’ll shed your corporeal form and ascend to a being of pure consciousness, and that would be a shame, because I like your face.” You retrieve the boxes and put them back before she decides to do product testing. “Apparently these exotic grains cure depression with their wholesome vitamins and minerals.”
”Buy the whole shelf.”
She’s right; some of these products are ridiculous. The two of you are giggling over asparagus water when a middle-aged woman pushes past you with her shopping cart. A highblood couldn’t look down their nose better. “Are you girls done with that?” she asks.
”Definitely,” Rose says, straight-faced. “I’d recommend it. It made us gay.”
Rose did the talking there, and you were too busy laughing to think of how to react. But when you get to the cashier, your tongue twists in your mouth. You stammer through pleasantries until Rose rescues you and completes the transaction. You drift away while she's collecting the bags, pretending to peruse the week's advertisement flier.
“She was pretty,” Rose says when she joins you, groceries in tow. “Is that why you were stuttering?”
You take half the bags from her. It would have been polite to help her carry them from the conveyor belt, but you needed to escape. “Was she? I didn't notice.”
She nudges you with a conspiratorial grin. “You don't have to play coy. I won't get jealous.”
“I'm not playing coy.” You shift one of the bags over your wrist, and something inside crinkles. Hopefully you didn’t break anything. “Her face was a blur. I panicked.”
Rose’s smile fades. “I’d forgotten you could be shy.”
The automatic doors whoosh open as the two of you approach. You sidestep a mother and her offspring going the other direction. “When you grow up on an oasis where your nearest neighbors are the shambling undead, you're a little cautious of strangers.”
“But willing to send them messages on Pesterchum questioning their intelligence and morals.”
She printed your first conversation logs off and stuck them to her wall, which you find equally endearing and annoying. Every time you see them, you itch to pull out a pen and make edits. “That's different. We weren't face to face. And... this is all new, here. I worry they'll be able to tell.”
“That they'll scream “Space invader!” and cart you off to a top secret facility?
”I’m sure it’s funny to you,” you say with a sniff, starting across the parking lot. “They won’t dissect you.”
She smiles again – you meant her to; the dissection at least was a joke. “I get nervous too. Not as much now after everything we’ve been through, but I’ve always been hyperaware of social situations. But I tend to take the ‘don't get scared; get angry’ approach.”
You recall how she marched up to the conveyor belt and slammed down her purchases. “I did wonder if you were going to challenge the salesperson to a strife.”
“Chalk it up to the childhood narcissism. I always felt like everyone was passing judgment.”
You accidentally make eye contact with a man stepping out of his vehicle and redirect your gaze at Rose’s collarbone. “Like everyone's watching.”
She nods. “And that's not true. They have their own problems and couldn't care less what we do. We're not important to them. In this case, that's reassuring.”
You’re surprised she finds it comforting. You’re happy to fade into the background; Rose likes to be noticed. You’d never realized it frightened her too. “What a pair we make,” you say.
“Between us, we add up to one functional person.”
You pull open the car door for her with a flourish. “I'd be generous and say at least 1.5.”
A few of the humans have been working to get their licenses so Jane’s father doesn’t have to drive them everywhere. Rose only has a permit, but that doesn’t stop her from using the car. Seer powers let her know if there’s likely to be trouble, but otherwise she drives like she’s got a grudge against the pavement. She peels out of the parking spot and then slams on the brakes. You hug a carton of eggs to your chest so they don’t splatter against the windshield. “What is it?”
”We have cold bags for everything, right?”
”Yes.” It was overkill for a short trip, but you prefer to be prepared.
She pulls into the store’s partner gas station while you wave apologetically at the elderly woman she just cut off. “This is a date. We’re going to get coffee.”
The coffee machine is broken, so you both get 99 cent slushies and sit on the curb next to the free air pump. The parking spot is empty save for a mulch of cigarette butts and ripped up Lotto tickets. Rose slurps some of her concoction out of a straw. It’s a murky mess, and you spotted her squirting a few shots of energy drink in for good measure. You spent several minutes painstakingly creating a rainbow pattern and are now trying to drink evenly to keep the layers intact. A bag of chips slumps half-empty between you. They’ll complain about that back home, but it’s their fault for not coming along to supervise.
Rose sucks on her straw with a noise like a drain unclogging. “How’s this for romance and adventure?”
“I could do it again,” you say. And you could. The encounter with the cashier still leaves you shaken, but the haze has peeled off the world. It’s funny how after everything you’ve been through, something as simple like this can be energizing. There are groceries in the car that need to get back and a household worth of responsibilities to keep up with, but right now it could just be the two of you setting off on some new adventure. Rose has always made you feel that way. Light players make the world narrow around them, drawing in attention, compressing possibility. They’re a lantern you bump against, entranced. With Rose, you’ve found one that doesn’t burn.
”Well shit, these were ninety-nine cents.” She smirks in the way that means you’ve missed a joke. “I think our budget can afford it.”
”Thank you for dragging me out here.” Lurking in your room seems silly now. “It helps, borrowing your confidence.”
”It’s a show,” she says. “I don’t know how you manage to seem so centered all the time.”
”Amateur theatrics,” you say. “One functional person, here we are.” She raises her drink in a toast, and you knock them together. ”I mean it, though,” you continue. “It’s nice, the way you turn things into adventures. Even if it’s a shopping trip, I don’t know where we’re going to end up. It’s unpredictable, but I like it. I like spending time with you.”
She smiles and looks away. Whenever you’ve successfully induced emotions, she never wants to look you in the eye. “That slushy must have made an impression.”
”It was good.” You flick the straw, sending drops of condensation scattering across the asphalt. “We didn’t have anything like this at home, at least not where I grew up. That might explain part of the rapturous response. But mostly I think it’s because I love you.”
Rose stills. That might be a bad sign, but you’ve gotten yourself into this situation, so you might as well keep going. “I’m not trying to corner you,” you say, looking down at your knees. “I know you have difficulty expressing some things. But I wanted to express that. Right now.”
When you sneak a look over, her shoulders are shaking. The ice from your drink solidifies in your stomach until you realize she’s laughing.
”Do you know how long I’ve been agonizing over this?” she asks.
”I knew why,” you begin. “Your mother…” That’s not a complete sentence, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes you want to ask John to transport you into Rose’s past so you can grab the woman by her shoulders and shake her. “How could you be so careless?” you want to demand. “Didn’t you realize what you were doing?” You are all the results of what has been done to you, combined with your attempts to overcome it. Even with your universes gone, their impressions remain as indelible parts of you. You wouldn’t want Rose to be anything other than who she is, but that doesn’t stop you from wishing she could have gotten something better growing up.
“That was what started it.” Rose takes a gulp of her drink. The humor drains from her voice. Now she’ll look you in the eye. “She’d vanish into her laboratory or a drunken stupor and leave me to fend for myself. The first time I tried cooking spaghetti I set off the fire alarm. I couldn’t get it to stop until I climbed up on a chair and took the batteries out. She slept through the whole thing. So when she turned up with a new present, how could I believe it was sincere? And even if it was, it didn’t make up for anything. If all you can give is the trappings of love, like you’ve bought out a Valentines’ clearance sale but can’t be damned to raise your own child, it doesn’t count.” She sloshes the remains of her drink around with one hand and watches it like she’s reading tea leaves. “So I guess I distrusted all of it. The glitz, the performance, anything. Even the words. Because if you do it right, they should know. But… in the past I’ve been guilty of overcorrecting.”
“Really?” You try to keep your tone teasing. Anything else might alarm her.
She elbows you in the ribs, but not hard. “Sometimes I’ve turned the wheel a bit and drifted over the dividing line between reasonable responses and terrible decisions by a few millimeters.”
“I think a driving instructor might say you sailed over the median, engaged with oncoming traffic, and left the highway entirely for parts unknown. What?” you add. “I’ve read the manual you’re all practicing from.”
“Five dollars says you pass the test before I do. After the timeline John made unhappen, I realized I’d never told you. For all the wrong, stupid reasons. I shouldn’t have let any of that stop me. I would’ve died with that as one of my greatest regrets. So I wanted it to be perfect, since I made you wait so long.” She covers her mouth with one hand and smiles through her fingers. “God, you should see my search history. I watched promposal videos, although I wiped all that data and I’ll deny it if you tell anyone. And here we are –” she pauses and shakes her head - “in a gas station parking lot. But you know what? I think it fits.” She slings an arm around your shoulders and plants a sticky kiss on your cheek. “I love you. Let’s make it count.”
This is what you have learned from dating Rose Lalonde. Expect your lives to accumulate the clutter of experiences together – receipts and stolen shirts and empty packages still streaked with frosting. Expect to make missteps, because the two of you are walking an uncharted path one step after another. Sometimes you fall, fight your demons, and climb back up again. You are all doing this for the first time.
Expect her to say she loves you in unexpected ways. A new package of lip gloss left on your pillow. A flower pressed between the pages of a heavy book to make it delicate and perfect. Occasionally, the words.
Make it count.
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What are your headcanons for British Columbia?
ok so disclaimer here is that i’m a fake british columbian even though i kind of sort of live there, i live on the island and the majority of my bc friends are from the coast and not the interior so most of what i can say about the interior is ‘i have driven through it a lot’ but i’ll do my best.
- on that subject bc is like… layers of depth that most people don’t see. lots of people just brush her off as a flaky ditz who is never paying attention to the rest of the country but i seriously feel she’s got a lot of Depth and a lot of spiky barbed inner monologues. She’s really geographically and emotionally impenetrable and doesn’t really let you in on what she is thinking or will do something unpredictable.
- like i don’t think people really get how contradictory bc is? its a climate of extremes that has a reputation for being mellow, its a place that is “liberal” where the Liberals are in reality worse than the alberta pcs (LOL WHAT AN ELECTION I TELL YOU), it’s a place that’s one of the resource-richest provinces in the country that makes it impossible for its own citizens to afford… etc. I think a lot about things like this when I think about how her personality works- she’s not necessarily finicky, she’s layered.
- bc has a reputation for being different than the rest of canada and its absolutely true. like as the second most western province we still tend to think of ab/sk and maybe mb depending on our mood as ‘western canada’ and bc as ‘and bc’. She’s the sort of person who Always goes her own way and makes her decisions on her own, she’s more outward looking than the others for sure.
- worst driver. Hands down. Terrible. everyone blames AB for it but it’s her, the only thing ralphie is worse at is parking.
- if she can’t see the mountains she feels naked and exposed and can’t stay too far out of sight of the mountains or she goes Nuts
- she probably lives in a relatively modern and expensive house- everything is immaculate, she has a lot of interesting artefacts and souvenirs around her house, her garden is manicured and perfect and everything smells like cedar but it also gives you the distinct impression that no one actually lives there. Looks more like a gallery because she’s trying to support local (esp indigenous) artists. no basement. cute car port and shed rather than a garage.
- she finds emotional attachments really Difficult. like it’s just genuinely hard to tell whether she likes you or not because she can be kind of backhanded or condescending even when she’s expressing genuine fondness. She makes a huge deal about being a romantic place but doesn’t really fall for anyone easily, either she gets bored or she doesn’t want to lose a friendship or w/e
- like for someone who makes a big deal about being compassionate for animals and nature she really doesn’t feel that much compassion for people- or rather, when she does it’s not easy for her to express to them
- There’s an ongoing joke that BC stands for “Bring Cash” and its absolutely true. If you want a chance with her/to impress her you have to spend like you mean it. Its not that she’s high mainten- yes she is definitely high maintenance
- Makes a big deal out of being interesting and fun but when she’s at home alone she just sits around in her underwear under a huge pile of blankets/a snuggie and watches the Beachcombers. possibly while high.
- ‘is this matcha’ ‘does it have matcha in it’ [pouring sugar in her tea] ‘matcha is like… sooo good for you… i don’t even [pouring milk and honey in her tea] like this is just so refreshing you know [more sugar]
- you know that scene in scott pilgrim where ramona reads out her entire tea cupboard to him and some of them sound made up, that’s bc. come to think of it she really is a manic pixie dream girl but one who is merciless and apathetic and could probably easily wreck you
- tea snob, the sort of person who is like ‘coffee is like so bad for you it stresses you out man’ but also a coffee snob who can’t wake up in the morning without it so its a lose-lose situation for you
- definitely volunteered with greenpeace in the 70s lol
- ‘ya i live in vancouver’ - actually lives in like PoCoMo or whatever
- once called the spoiled child of confederation and she hasn’t let that go, she probably has it embossed on a trophy somewhere in her giant collection of trophies that she has on display in the fame gua of her perfect feng shui living room
- she only makes a big deal out of ‘canadian’ things when it makes her money, she actually feels very cut off from the rest of the country but will Always appear immediately when there is a competition of any kind because she’s The Best.
- grew up extremely fast. in my mind she represents ‘ (lower) mainland bc’ while the island i represent with victoria as shorthand- they had to move in together to save money and both of them really dragged their feet about it. She’s still kind of wary about the island ditching for independence again but doesn’t REALLY take it seriously. Is the youngest of the provinces but does her best not to act like it.
- actually super confrontational like she will be doing yoga on a rock as the tide is coming in and be One With The Universe and you could be walking past her and say ‘actually vancouver’s kind of overrated’ and she will dive in the ocean and rise out of the water covered in sea onions and seaweed and barnacles like a horror movie and be like “wHaT dId YoU SaY AbOuT mE!”
- exactly the sort of person to get a tattoo in another language that vaguely is correct but actually grammatically Off like… you grow up with people like Amor de Cosmos and this is what you get
- not actually gluten or lactose intolerant, just likes being morally superior (’and like… almond milk just tastes better yknow more wholesome’)
- that person who always ends up with people mooching off her or crashing at her place- she doesn’t actually mind too much, she’s just frustrated that people only seem to come bother her when it’s convenient for them. But she doesn’t like to admit when she’s feeling lonely so i mean… xD
- also really into ghosts and spooky things. she goes along with bert/yk to hunt sasquatsch and externally rolls her eyes the whole time but tbh she has honestly seen sasquatsch like 10 times and has all the blurry photos to prove it. Same with ogopogo.
- goes into woowoo new age stores and spends hours looking at tarot decks and crystals and incense. judges you based on your astrological signs.
- has proposed moving in with kate like 3 times but gets rejected every time lmao
- firm believer that tea solves everything. emotionally compromised? hot leaf juice. emotionally compromised during summer? cold leaf juice. eat an entire fruit. eat ten fruits. decorate with kale. eat the decorative kale. got herbs? make rosemary tea. stain all your dishes yellow and make turmeric tea. literally down an entire jar of capers, idgaf.
- she likes to make her backpack as heavy as she can, blast her own music so everyone can hear it, then schlep it all up a mountain. set everything down and turn it off, sit high up and alone with her little hibachi grill and eat salmon, watch the ravens. paint something on a giant leaf. smoke a joint. look at the ocean. whatever.
- i think exercise is her replacement for emotionally connecting with people. she rides her bike white knuckled through the rain up a hill and loses feeling in her fingers and zooms back down. Pushes herself to adrenaline rush, always trying to get better, better.
- i say a lot about her not really connecting with people but at the same time shes the sort of person that… when you’re in crisis mode and you’re under a literal or a figurative avalanche, she will spot you, grab you and pull you straight up out of it with one arm by the scruff of your neck. She’s actually really generous at heart but has just become kind of closed off after being taken advantage of too many times. Will take you home and dry you off and make a big meal for you and wait for you to tell her what’s wrong.
- I don’t know if she actually owns a boat-boat, but definitely kayaks a lot. long boards. surfs.
- hates BC ferries with an unholy passion, like… that’s a way to trigger a rant right there
- slaps I
- her low tolerance for cold is exaggerated. her high tolerance for cold + wet should be Feared.
- has her hidden rednecky side. makes a big deal out of being vegan and w/e but does go hunting and dirt biking once in a while, knows her way around a stick shift etc. Dunno if she really drives that much - probably has invested in electric cars before but kind of dissatisfied with how much she can actually do with them re: steep hills, roadtrips, etc.
- has had to deal with a lot of paranoia, racism, etc in the past that she struggles to reconcile. really learning to take pride in herself again, i think she’s chinese/british, yeah but there’s also some first nations heritage too that factors into her mixed identity.
- in official positions she might skip french and go straight to mandarin/canto if the job is bilingual, not that she doesnt like french she just Forgets xD.
i feel like i’ve been talking all day so i’ll stop there but feel free to ask for elaboration or something i guess
#projectcanada#iammatthewian#iamp#pc: british columbia#iamp: british columbia#surfingthesealand#pc headcanon
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