#if anything doesnt make sense i dont care
Text
tw: suicide mention-emotional maipulation
I refuse to believe that kusuo never tried to lose on purpose in one of kusukes games
a lot of people say that he probably was too egocentric to lose but man, ku gives up on things without thinking twice just for the sake of the others
just like when he gave up on satou when he and hii got together (the only example I can come with rn but there is a lot more)
and don't get me wrong, kusuo IS egocentric, but he knows where to trace a line he has a moral code and the principal rule is "don't be an inconvenience to the others"
so there is no way he didn't tried before
kusuke saw through his facade?
kusuke is insane and a masoquist and he has some suicidal behaviour aaand
I can see him telling kusuo to never try to fake a lost again or else he will off himself
idk he just yk, he's emotionally abusive and he's too obsessed with the idea of kusuo and him playing deathly games
TOO obsessed
he even took himself as hostage and he also kidnapped and brainwashed one of his brothers friends
he would say something like that
but I also believe that he wasn't aware of the heigh of those words
(I believe that he isn't aware of the heigh of all his actions, he just have a really twisted view of what is wrong and right)
I see this kind of scenario happening when they were young, when kusuo stopped copying his older brother (the motorcycle, the little cardboard robot, rock papper scissors, guys he was copying his older brother cuz he thought he was cool) and started to feel some resentment or even pity towards him
kusuke wouldn't take pityness very well, resentment? dont care, being hated? kay whatever but feeling any form of empathy or pity?????
it makes him sick
so he would say something like that but the thing is that he sees his brother as a God who is superior to every other living being
so he thinks that it isn't a big deal because his God had more important things to take care of
wrooooong, your God it's your baby bro who is just a child who used to admire you a lot before you started to get more and more insane progressively and the thing you just said it's fucking up his head because the love and hate he has for you were the strongest feelings his baby brain could feel and now he cannot come up with a way to make you stop envying or feeling resentful cuz of his powers (that he did not choose to born with in the first place) without making you have a meltdown that will end up with you killing yourself
#its 6am and im having a lot of feelings#sorry if there is something that doesnt make sense i repeat its 6am#im still without wifi and i cant waste the eeeee#idk how are they called in english but in spanish is datos móviles#lmao#anyway i dont have anything else to say im just emotional about this two#kusuke having no idea of what its wrong and right and how much certain words could affect the others yaaay#its the autism combined with his sociopath tendencies#also here he seems like he doesnt care at all abt kusuo but he does#its just a toxic way of love combined with his envy and again his sociopath tendencies#but he do love him and admire him so much#envy its just a twisted form of admiration afterall#saiki k#saiki kusuo#kusuke saiki#saiki's brothers#angst#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki kusuo no psi nan#tw su mention#thinking thinking thinking
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys. portal au where glados is repurposed to run CERN. instead of killing humans now she smashes particles in the big speedy ring. she runs analyses on huge datasets and runs hundreds of physics simulations. she manages the lab’s energy consumption and functions as a site-wide monitoring system.
chell gets a job at cern to keep glados company. glados pirates scientific literature for chell.
#is this anything#it doesnt make sense timeline-wise but i dont care#portal#portal au#chelldos#text#CERN!GLaDOS
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
also while im on it i dont care how magic a character is not everyone needs to have colored eyes. its like. fine to give people dark brown/ black eyes even if theyre "magical" or some shit.
#like i get it but#idk this is a problem i have with magnus fans mostly#like outside of the fact that i dont like giving poc characters european features for no fucking reason#the whole point of it is that you CANT tell that hes Fucked Up just by looking at him#and mfs are out here like :) actually he has neon green eyes#FREE ME. sorry.#only character i accept as having weird eyss is elias#bc . look at him. or jonah i guess cuz its his eyes but#elias is supposed to have a creepy ass stare.#and anyway point is i feel like you can have that with jon but iirc he doesnt have the same powers as elias?its a different kind of eye shi#OH yeah. u can have that with jon too without needing to make him have colored eyes. idk i dont really care i dont actually interact#with magnus fandom outside of elias shit anymore generally#i think the point i was trying to make earlier was it makes sense for elias to have his creepy grey eyes because he SEES like actually sees#and jons (I AM LIKELY VERY WRONG. I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TMA) jons whole thing is knowing shit. yk.#feel free to correct me if you think im wrong or if i dont understand/ am misremembering canon here
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have this silly theory that the 'interesting proposal' buck gets from his former roommate in 6x04 somehow involves him getting a dog. I have no evidence to support this except that tweet that said the dalmatian statue was foreshadowing. and the episode is literally called 'animal instincts'. also I just think buck deserves a dog
#911 fox#like maybe the roommate owned a dog when buck lived with them and now theyre trying to rehome it#or maybe the dog had puppies!#or literally anything i dont care just give this big loving man a big loving dog#he literally has a stock photo of a golden retriever on his shelf he needs a dog#i also just think it would such a good thing for him right now#to have someone to take care of and to rely on him and love him#that doesnt involve throwing himself into another serious relationship#and that wont take away from the time hes dedicating to himself#but will also be something to focus on so he doesnt get lost again#does this make sense? probably no BUT#just give him a dog its necessary#evan buckley#911 spoilers
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
When they were 8 years old, Jonathan Sims watched one of their bullies die at the hands of the Leitner known as Mr. Spider. They found themselves unable to share their experience with his grandmother, instead delving into whatever books he could find to soothe their mind. This led them down a path which eventually found them with a small notebook in his hands, scribbling down notes as he scrambled through abandoned buildings, poking Artifacts with sticks. After being saved once or twice by a disgruntled Gertrude Robinson, they continued to investigate, becoming a sort of ward of many of the Avatars of London. He observed the process of skin burning on many afternoons spent with Jude Perry, trembling but ultimately standing still, wide eyed, drinking it all in. They learned how to spin a baton and balance on a tightrope while Nikola Orsinov clapped delightedly at his efforts. Annabelle Cain herself helped him find closure and peace after they confided in her what had happened with the Leitner. Many others would ask after his well-being, sending them birthday gifts and dropping by with treats the one time they became sick with the flu. Gertrude, reluctant as she was to let a child be claimed by a Fear, helped him forge a connection to the Eye, and taught them how to hide from James Wright, then from Elias Bouchard. Now, they have found a position as her replacement, the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.
How will they manage to handle their grief for Gertrude, evade Bouchard’s schemes, diffuse political tensions between the Avatars, and wrangle their trio of disconcertingly attractive and devastatingly mischievous assistants?
Well, for once in his life, he really just doesn’t Know. Should be interesting, at least.
--
In other words, I've decided to do a chatfic. Kinda. Jon knows how to use a phone, that's it that's the premise.
#polyarchives#tma#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#also im titleing it using tom cardys mixed messages#also i dont care if this doesnt make sense fuck you theyre friends#but also#crack treated seriously is my favorite genre#this is so serious#rip to anyone who knows anything about any other wip ive alluded to or said i would work on#but#ive been having a Day alright#my brain tends to take on the thinking that fits whatever im reading or watching#and ive been watching hannibal while reading john dies at the end#so go ahead and imagine the gorey cannaballistic completely detached from real life circumstance hellscape my brain looks like right now#dunk that in glowstick fluid#then tell it to fight for its life with the nails on its hands and the teeth in its mouth#and leave it alone in a house for three days with a grade determining paper due in a few days#also another thing is going on but yall dont need to hear about that#im not sorry#psa if a teacher asks if you want to do a competition to demonstrate natural selection#they probably dont intend for you to fight your classmates hand to hand no holds barred#and you should not begin mentally preparing to keep getting back up no matter how much it hurts#but i did a great job at fishing for junk food with a makeshift lasso made of old coats and i have a pack of doublestuff oreos now#and its all mine#so get fucked kyle
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay sorry for having opinions on sonic shipping but . the more popular a ship is the more likely i am to be annoyed by it so its probably for the best that my favorite ship is one of the not as popular ones . but also the way sonknux gets talked about (or not talked about) as a result of it being less popular drives me up the wall . what do you mean it doesnt make sense. hes literally not staring at the moon and thinking about him💔
#theyre literally the sun and the moon and you dont even CARE ....#okay but ive actually seen random sonknux posts get a bunch of comments from so/nadow and kn/uxouge fans#along the lines of ''umm i prefer so/nadow :/'' or ''this doesnt make any sense so/nadow is better'' or ''nooo knuckles likes rouge''#like ohhhh my godddd shut UP#anyway theres so many things that sonic and knuckles have done that if it was sonic and amy or knuckles and rouge#or sonic and shadow doing it instead it would get labelled as peak romance#i know this to be true because it literally already happens sonic and knuckles do something gay and its cricket noises#then sonic and shadow do the same thing later. sometimes in the same show/comic/whatever . and it gets reposted everywhere . what#hell none of the other pairings i mentinoed even have to do what sonic and knuckles do they just have to stand near eachother#and people start freaking out ...#also im not saying youre legally obligated to like sonknux too if you like so/nadow or that you cant prefer so/nadow#but. if you think so/nadow makes perfect sense and have convinced yourself that its basically canon and every interaction between them#is a hint from sega that theyre secretly dating or something and you make the biggest reaches imaginable to prove it#while also thinking that sonknux doesnt make any sense at all and labelling it as a crackship or whatever#i can only assume that you arent paying attention to anything that happens in knuckles centric stuff#and/or being That obsessed with so/nadow has just heavily warped your perception of things. because how#and its not even just so/nadow .. knu/xouge is constantly overshadowing sonknux too#but at least so/nadow is actually okay its only crime is being too popular and having some annoying fans as a result#knu/xouge on the other hand is too popular and has a lot of annoying fans AND sucks . which is worse#but so/nadow is one i find myself comparing it to more often because its another gay pairing#and also people are obsessed with taking stuff from sonic and knuckles' relationship/interactions and giving it to sonic and shadow instead#and acting like knuckles doesnt exist and stuff that sonic and knuckles did first is exclusive to sonic and shadow or something#whatever . runs away
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
you know, i think tenten will also give them good luck charms for protection like how she gave her tsunade-sama one in sd.
she totally would, with her penchant for fortune telling, she’d handcraft three good luck/protection charms and give them to each of them.
I like to think she gives them to each of her team at different times.
Lee gets his first, after Tenten overhears him telling Gai-sensei about how he has almost lost hope in his dream to beat Neji.
“Perhaps just hard work isn’t enough,” he sobs to Gai-sensei as Tenten walks away, her heart heavy. She hands him a little good-luck charm at training the next day, a carved dragon, quietly telling him that he should never lose hope.
Neji may be a genius, but Lee is a genius of hard work, and she will protect his boundless hope until he achieves his dream. Perhaps it comes from a place of selfishness. After all, Tenten is no genius herself, and Lee’s hope is her hope too.
Or maybe it’s not selfishness, but relatability.
Whatever it is, Lee thanks her with a huge hug and many, many tears. Tenten protests loudly, but deep down, her heart swells.
He always keeps it in the hidden pocket of his jumpsuit, and never forgets to take the charm out before washing it. He shows it off with pride to everyone, much to Tenten's chagrin.
Gai-sensei receives his next, after both Tenten and Lee end up in the hospital after the Chunin Exams.
After Tenten is healed, she finds her sensei standing over a sleeping Lee, tears rolling down his face. He immediately puts on an act when Tenten walks in, but she knows what she saw, and it weighs on her.
The next day, when Gai-sensei pops into her physical therapy to check on her and offer some good old Gai-sensei encouragement (motivational shouting), Tenten pulls him aside. She hands him a small charm she’d made the previous night, a little wood turtle carved with the symbol for luck.
“Don’t worry sensei, the people you care about will always be okay!” She smiles brightly at him as she sets the charm in his hand. “It’s for protection—”
Gai-sensei’s thanks is also in the form of many, many tears and shouted declarations of his sweet lotus flower’s kindness and compassion. Tenten’s response, as usual, is loud and embarrassed protests, and a secret smile muffled in Gai-sensei’s broad shoulder as he hugs her tightly.
Gai keeps his charm in the safest pocket of his jounin vest, going as far as to ask Genma to give him a seal to make sure it never breaks or gets damaged. After all, his lotus gave it to him so he could protect her and her teammates, and he would rather die than let her down.
Neji is the last to receive his charm, after his fight with Naruto in the final round of the Chunin Exams. He sits in the hospital room and tells her about everything, his clan, his uncle apologizing to him, his restored faith in the future.
"I will change my clan," he insists to her. "I will better it, for all of the Hyuuga."
The next morning, through the rubble of a torn-apart and betrayed village, in the wake of the Sandaime Hokage's death, Tenten walks to the Hyuuga compound dressed in her mourning clothes and deposits a small carved phoenix charm in his hand.
"What's this for?" he asks, turning the charm over in his hand and studying it.
"Good fortune, protection." Unlike the rest of Team Gai, Tenten always keeps her stories to herself. For some reason, she finds the words tumbling out of her. "My mother used to make them for me. They were for protection and good luck."
Neji nods. He runs a thumb over the carved bird's wing. "Protecting what?"
"My hopes, my well-being, whatever it was she thought needed to be protected."
Neji finally looks up at her, understanding filtering through his gaze. Tenten turns around, ears burning. "Come on, let's go. They'll kill us if we're late to the funeral."
Neji stows his charm in the pockets of his clothes and jogs after her.
Several years later, when Lee surpasses everyone around him, his taijutsu a shining beacon of his hard work and dedication, he is ever aware of the wooden dragon in his pocket, the way his hope is a reflection of Tenten's. He vows to work harder, to prove to her that she can do it just like him.
He will protect her hope too.
On the battlefield facing down Madara Uchiha, Gai quickly moves the little turtle charm to the pocket over his heart. To protect the village, to protect his precious students, he can do anything.
"Eighth Gate of Death, release!"
As medics work to stabilize Neji in the emergency tents, they find a blood-soaked phoenix charm clutched in his hand.
His full recovery is nothing short of a miracle.
#asks#tenten#neji hyuga#rock lee#maito gai#team gai#erumai writes fic sometimes#can't ever keep a consistent spelling of hyuga/hyuuga huh#yes the charms DO have symbolism behind them hehehehehe#this whole thing lowkey makes no sense but also. thats ok.#it's about the strength that comes from the feeling of someone else caring about u idk#cause each member of team gai knows what its like to be lonely. to lack love.#gai lives with the void in his heart from watching his father die#lee was bullied for his whole life about not being able to do ninjutsu and taijutsu and hes probably an orphan too#neji's clan doesnt give a shit about him except for as death fodder when they need to protect the main branch#tenten... we dont know anything about her but we can sense that her need for approval comes from a lack of love in some capacity#maybe shes an orphan too. i like to think she is#ANYWAY all of this team lacks love in some capacity. so when they get it it's gonna stick with them for sure#honestly i coulda thrown nart in here for orphan solidarity or themes or sumn but. this is about team gai.#they ARE each others family dont u see#im gonna shut up now lol
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character
bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it
Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them
Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???
C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'
I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.
(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)
OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.
As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.
Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.
This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.
#ive always wanted to partake in pointless character debate on tumblr#considered maintagging this but didnt want people looking at your ask weird. sorry yall we serve fucked up scott here#“But bree” you might ask “what about pearl? He wasnt a very devoted partner then!”#and to that I say: pearl isnt a person to him. and neither is jimmy. Scott fucked up with both of them and unfortunately if he is not good-#and justified 100% of the time he loses his entire identity so convincing himself that they are incompetent or crazy so that he#doesnt have to self reflect is how he gets by. he would literally rather kill himself than earnestly admit fault for anything#… huh. about the above tags I dont remember the lore but is there any parallel there with the whole bright heart thing#genuine question bc I do not remember why blue star did that and I dont trust the wiki#(Trying to space out names so they dont tag)#I really hope this makes sense btw bc I feel like I usually list a lot more examples… but im tired#I can elaborate on any point here if need be ig. I dont talk about this aspect of him often because the literal entire fandom does already#Every scott analysis post out there is about his damn loyalty… anyways yeah scotts loyalty is transactional more often than emotional but#It’s still loyalty and also. hard to draw the line between where the emotions stop sometimes because he can stop giving a fuck about—#most things on a whim. How much scott genuinely cares about something is a forever undefinable concept#asks#he is genuinely a very good ally to have usually. like jimmy was very much the exception there#he does like helping people out he does. he’s just also emotionally detached so he tallies his favors and good deeds to bring up later if—#someone he’s helped decides to go against him. If that makes sense#sorry man I just keep talking. I love this blue animal…….#thanks for the ask genuinely I love when paragraphs about characters#anyways im gonna pass out and. Shakes myself STOP ADDING MORE TAGSSS i think im so tired man
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s baked into my understanding of kakashi hatake that he has absolutely no clue how children work and thats just part of team 7s dysfunction listen.
#this man was all of 14 when his only support system died and hten went to work for Black Ops With Masks#like do you think that man knows Anything about how to human he was on the field while he still had milk teeth#when Minato got him he was legit 'this child the size of half my arm'#i cannot speify enough how much that warps what 'being a functioning peson' is#team sevens lucky he had dogs he went 'okay feed positive reinforcement make sure they dont trip over their own ambition to walk' and just#Went From There#like he'll show up with vegetables for naruto but also 'i was on my own by 8 bc my dad yknow Died so hes probably???#fine??'#this man looks at Sasuke and thinks back when he was 12 and his best friend had just died and he saw his eye in the mirror nad lowkey the#dogs were taking care of Him and goes 'hn he's probably good right? I'll just teach him something i always cried less when i learned#something '#'how am i supposed to know how kids work i dont even know how 'I' work doesnt even begin to fucking cover it Why Is This So Funny#everyone: poor kakashi he got the biggest gremlim kids with more issues than vogue#babes kakashi was the og he and the kids are just one big ball of what pray tell the fuck lilke hes Part of it he needs an adult#preferably one that didnt need a booster seat for his own chunnin exam#okay im done#just..its unhinged theyre All unhinged i love it#wtf i cant stop laughing#honestly Everything makes so much more sense
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate to admit it here but ed bitches make me so mad
#Theyr just fucking annoying like#ooo im so fat ugh i had a yummy treat Oooo i had 500 cals today thays too much ..!!! Why is my hair falling out guys#hate to be this guy but Nobody cares Nobody gives a shit ab ur bmi or how little u ate . idc what ur goal weight is idc how much u weigh rn#on the topic of weight tho Fuuuuck bitches who r like Omg u weigh more than me ...?!? Omg why do i weigh less than u ...!!!#those people r the pieces of garbage who make people have eds anyway#on top of that they dont know basic fucking anatomy that taller + more muscular people weigh more#and trying to explain how muscle mass weighs more than fat just makes them look at u weird#some people just dont understand body type . or how bmi doesnt take anything other than weight and height into account#when there r so many other factors .#ed bitches LOOOVE pretending the only measure for overweightedness is bmi .#i know the point is they have a warped sense of reality But i dont give a shit Theyre stupid and blindsighted by bullshit weight loss propag#<- not finishing thay tag u get it
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh and another hc! Danse is autistic but has little problem with eye contact for the most part because the Brotherhood trained him out of it, but when he's emotional in casual settings his ability to maintain it falters. This is most notice by him always looking away when he smiles
Y'know I've always imagined him to have a problem with Too Much Eye Contact, like, staring-into-your-soul levels of eye contact, but I think both of our headcanons actually work...
Danse hears that "not looking someone in the eyes is considered rude/people will think you're lying or untrustworthy" so he starts just STARING all the time. Maxson's giving a speech? Staring out of respect. Giving orders to his team? Staring so they know he's serious and trusts them. He's the living embodiment of this meme:
He gets so confused when initiates cower away from him because he tries hard not to be intimidating, what is he doing wrong? Is it his power armor? His rank? Is he not friendly enough?
And it's not like anybody will call him out on it because god forbid neurotypicals talk about their issues because of his rank, so he just continues doing this for years thinking he's being polite.
Maybe it takes Sole pointing it out to him or maybe he starts to feel comfortable enough around Sole, but he'll start letting himself look away more. While laughing, or telling a joke, or having a serious conversation. It's way more comfortable to him and Sole doesn't seem to mind. Danse looking away while he's talking is an easy way to tell that he enjoys someone's presence even when he won't admit it
#danse leaving the brotherhood and finally feeling comfortable is my favorite thing#suddenly the minutemen dont care if he looks away while talking#or doesnt eat his instamash because he cant stand the texture#or bounces his leg while listening to preston give a speech#he was in the brotherhood for so long that feeling uncomfortable was normal for him#not saying that the brotherhood is ableist or anything#but given their views on ghouls and synths and children of atom etc etc etc#it seems like theyre not used to working with anyone who is considered different#and they probably have a bunch of dumb rules to uphold that make no sense#fallout 4#paladin danse#headcanons#ask box#i went a bit off track with this hc im sorry
126 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think I've had to exist so long before and now I am starting to feel something awful
#i have never been this scared or had to think who i am#ive just had to fix the problem#i am good at that! really good. but it requires others this time and there is no one#gp just asked if i had peed. not how much or how dark. just was there urine. thats not enough#the thing is. im deciding I don't care now#why should i? i cant fix it then who can? im the one doing the work here#3 options left. i get an appointment (not happening). i die. i just stay drunk (assuming I can drink anything)#ill even let him do it even though he doesnt know itll kill him#he deserves better. if i werent here then wed had died years ago. I deserve better than this#i want someone to make sense of this#because i do not understand#i dont want to right now because I need something else#i feel myself losing my grip so who knows what will happen
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
begging people to understand that labels and categories are not inherently meaningful without context. and that whether or not any label is actually useful changes from context to context (including from person to person). and that trying to pin something or someone down as BEING a particular label (rather than something being labelled as a certain thing) is meaningless and unhelpful
#leologisms#this isnt actually About anything in particular but it was of course inspired by gender posts#saying that someone else IS a particular thing because of their experiences is not really helpful. and it doesnt make sense#theres a reason theyre gender 'identities'. theyre labels. theyre something that people either do or dont identify with#theyre tools for finding people with similar experiences. or for exploring and understanding ones own experiences. etc.#trying to say that someone IS agender for not identifying strongly with a particular gender or someone IS trans for wanting to#experiment with gender + presentation or someone IS bisexual because they dated someone of the same gender one time or whatever#isnt actually helpful. do they identify as these things? do they even actually care?#of course the reasons for someones answers to these questions are also important. but thats for them to figure out.#[note. 'someone' also includes you]#there was also an anecdote i was thinking about. from when i was a kid#and i was bugging my mom over dinner about 'what exactly is a vegetable'#'any edible plant part thats not a fruit' didnt include tomatoes or eggplants etc. and that definition didnt satisfy me#well i just kept going until my mom got sick of the question#of course i now know about culinary vegetables. but being a 'vegetable' isnt inherent to anything#and neither is being 'green' or being 'gay' or 'trans' or 'agender'#of course these are useful labels. thats why they exist and thats why people use them#but trying to pin down whether something definitively IS one thing or another is a fruitless exercise
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sooo many talking points that i need 2 be like "im saying this in a normal way I promprom im not saying this in a proshipper pedo way I swear I swear"
#like *let ppl enjot what they want* in the sense that ppl shluld enjoy things even if its cringe or w/e not in a *I can like this even tho#its racist and pedophillic and terrible bcs its jjst fiction let ppl have fun*#or like *you can make anything problematic* in the sense that *All thongs need to be consumed critically and a few things you dont agree#with or seem wrog within a media doesnt make it the Worst Thing Ever* not *Everyrhing is problematic so who cares abt any issues in#this media bcs ur just being too sensitive etc etc*
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
watchitbuster
now @ deandykery
doshi-sukiru
The Alien that Escaped Area 51
smafffq
ship wrecker
dylanw211-blog
UCONN DMD2015
ellieslittleburrow
Ellie's little Place