#if all I know about them is 'they're sad and weak' that doesn't motivate me to want to spend time with them...
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Is it just me or has fandom overall...changed a lot in how it talks about its favourite characters over the past few years?
It used to be people who really liked a character would be like “this character’s the best at everything, they can do no wrong, they’d win every fight, they have a plan for everything, they’re the coolest cleverest most attractive person in the whole story!!!”, and like...that could go too far, it could be annoying or just really really inaccurate compared to canon (I used to know a Jill fan who insisted that Jill could easily beat every single character in the series in a fight--and look, Jill is very cool, but Chris was canonically the best in hand-to-hand combat at STARS and was also training HER in marksmanship, Jill is of course extremely capable but...she really does not have to be the best at everything to prove why she’s your favourite...for that matter, Wesker fans who were like “Wesker in RE5 has to be a clone/a fake/whatever because the REAL Wesker would never LOSE because Wesker can’t make mistakes!”...always made me go *stop, please, it’s embarrassing*), but it did...make sense why someone who really loved a character would say these things about them?
But now it seems like the kind of comments people make about their favourite characters, and the way they portray them in fics, are...pretty much the opposite of that? People will be like “my blorbo is SO STUPID! they’re so useless they can’t do ANYTHING! they’re a pathetic weak little wet paper bag!”
Like, a few years ago if I’d seen a post saying things like that about a character I’d assume it was written by someone who hated them?
And obviously...sometimes a character you love is kind of a dork, or makes some silly mistakes sometimes. Other times a character you love is a terrible evil person. I’m not saying everyone should equate liking a character with thinking they’re perfect. But...most popular characters AREN’T actually completely stupid and incompetent at absolutely everything, and I can never quite get my head around it when people seem to hold this view of a character and it’s clearly not true, like...if you really think they’re pathetic, stupid, and can’t do anything right...do you really like them that much?
I’ve seen fandom call characters stupid/idiots when they are either science geniuses, or they’re brilliant inventors who build sci-fi gadgets, or they’re scheming chessmaster strategist types who manipulate all the other characters for years and come very close to taking over the world, or maybe they just canonically speak several languages and are well-read, or even if canon doesn’t focus much on their intelligence you’ve got characters like Chris who was a USAF fighter pilot--which means he has a degree, judging by the timeline probably an Air Force Academy one, which means he was likely in the top 3% of his high school classes and DEFINITELY didn’t “barely scrape through” as I often see headcanoned (not just by people who want to bash him but people who are like “I love him! He’s such a big dumb himbo! He’s so stupid!!” like. what.)
Similarly I see characters who are canonically very confident and self-assured, never really doubting themselves for a second, and who canonically react to things going wrong by calmly adapting their plans and moving forwards without ever getting discouraged, get tagged on posts about “pathetic wet paper bag men who’ve never had a good day in their life and an insult from a child would make them cry”.
Or characters who are shown in canon as dangerous, powerful and near-fearless fighters get written in fics, by people who say they’re their favourites, as spending all their time crying and flinching and not even trying to defend themself from whoever’s attacking/trying to hurt them (and not because they went through some major trauma previously in the fic that left them in this state, either--often the fic is set during canon and the character is just...like that rather than something having happened to change them from who they were at that point in their life in canon)... personally, while I enjoy whump, whumping a character who’s ALREADY weak and helpless and spends all their time curled up in a corner crying BEFORE whatever you do to them in the fic can easily just feel like kicking them while they’re down and is honestly boring because it doesn’t show anything NEW about the character, so it’s particularly odd to see fics written that way when the character in canon is exactly the confident powerful type that I do think is fun to whump.
(For a specific example, RE canon is that Wesker and Sergei had a rivalry and Wesker seems to view Sergei mostly with disdain and see him as an annoying obstacle. Wesker never gives any sign of being scared of or intimidated by Sergei, and certainly doesn’t seem to start panicking the instant Sergei enters a room. And even before he had his powers, he had extensive combat training by the time he met Sergei, and Sergei being taller and heavier doesn’t inherently mean that Wesker would be defenceless and go down in one punch in a fight, or even that Wesker would LOSE a fight against him. Canon doesn’t depict Wesker as a helpless victim for Sergei to beat up...hurt him by all means but it’s OOC if Wesker doesn’t give as good as he gets.)
Oh, and characters who are canonically master manipulators who are experts at getting people on their side and gaining their trust being portrayed as so socially awkward and clueless that they’re incapable of holding a conversation without coming across offputtingly weird...
Maybe I’m the odd one out here but I can’t really get why you’d want to present your favourite character as LESS capable, LESS intelligent, LESS brave or confident or powerful or whatever other impressive traits they might have in canon? Like I wouldn’t go so far as to say I ADMIRE all my favourite characters, because some of them are murderous evil monsters, but...I generally do see them as either having some kind of admirable personality trait (courage, integrity, confidence, determination... or maybe just a lot of charisma and a good sense of humour, though I feel like charisma tends to overlap with confidence a fair bit...), or at least as being very good at what they do. I can kind of get the appeal of the “sweet and kind and caring but not that bright ‘golden retriever man’ type”, even though they’re not usually MY type, because I know some people primarily like characters who they think it would be good to be friends with (and most of those types of characters aren’t USELESS, at the very least they tend to be good at listening and being supportive), but when someone’s favourite character is a bad person AND they seem to think they’re stupid, useless, incompetent and pathetic on top of being evil it’s like...so what do you even like about them?
#I can even enjoy seeing a character at their lowest saddest point#but there has to be some contrast#otherwise it's just one-note#'sad' on its own is not a trait that will usually make me want to spend time with a character#if a character does nothing but mope about and feel sorry for themself throughout the story and never tries to improve their situation...#that's just a one-note 'damsel in distress' trope but as the protagonist#and it also just gets really monotonous#and I also just don't want a character who is always miserable existing in my head all the time#of course there are great and interesting characters who struggle with clinical depression#but there are ways of writing that#without making your character essentially replaceable with a wet tea towel with a sad face drawn on it#who gets bounced around the plot like a pinball#that's just a Sexy Lamp but replace 'sexy' with 'sad'#and while the Sexy Lamp test is meant to be about whether female characters are written as flat characters out of sexism#a flat useless male character might not be sexist but he certainly is boring#if all I know about them is 'they're sad and weak' that doesn't motivate me to want to spend time with them...#even 'they're an awful person but they're fun' is much more appealing than that
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Who are your fav persona 3 people!!!
[cracks knuckles] I'm glad you asked
So! I don't actively /dislike/ anyone in the p3 cast, but some of them definitely speak to me more than others:
First things first: Ryoji. Love that guy. He's so silly. And so tragic. And he makes me sad. (Like holy SHIT I wasn't expecting a reprise of his song in the stage play on December 31st but it TOOK ME OUT) (also Ryomina my love)
The whole Shinji, Ken, and Akihiko trio ALSO lives in my head rent free... two idiots and their son. love them. I've been desperately scouring for Akishinji content and between that, Ryomina, and Shuake, I've come to realise that my shipping habits seem to boil down to "doomed yaoi" HAHA
More on Ken, I have a LOT of thoughts about how he and Akechi would interact and (likely) get along. Whether that be in the p5 era or a situation a la Throw Away Your Mask. (Or, something I've yet to find: Akechi with no time travel shenanigins getting in on the p3 plot. You can bet THAT'S a longfic idea I've got rattling around) (Also the half-brothers headcanon is super fun. Especially when combined with Futago siblings. Congratulations, Shido! All your kids are persona users, and they all hate you! :D)
Aigis! She's just. Infinitely charming. She'll say something that will absolutely take me out and then turn around and say something devestating HAHA. I also think that her and Ryoji's social link and linked episodes respectively do a LOT of thematic work in the story. Death himself and the girl that can't die, both trying to figure out how to live (y'all that shit's METAL)
Strega are so interesting to me... I don't think they're perfect villains- I think their motivation is underexplored and a bit choppy, but ASIDE from that, I really like all three of them as characters. Idk why Jin is so funny to me LMAO he's so in love with Takaya and Takaya's just like "k. met your quota yet?" (But, also, some of Takaya's lines definitely imply that he cares about Jin too, but doesn't let himself acknowledge that at all due to his whole "attachments are weakness" shtick, another thematic point to contest his ideology, as he is actively denying himself happiness in pursuit of some idea of salvation)
Chidori- I like her well enough. Some of her lines really did make me smile, but I think she's another case of "underdeveloped" (I actually read Throw Away Your Mask before I played p3r, so that fic did a lot of the heavy lifting for my like of Chidori (and, by extension, Jundori) i think)
Which leads nicely into: Junpei! He's da man. Nuff' said.
HAHA if you can't tell, I love Junpei. Awkward dudebro stuff aside (though it's occasionally part of his charm), I really love his development and personality in general. I really love how all the "bro" characters across the modern three persona games, while fulfilling the same archetype, are all distinct in personality and motivation and I love them ALL
Mitsuru is quite interesting to me, but I think she might be a case of "I wish her social link was about something else". Personal preference of course, but I kind of wish that it focused more on this intense guilt she seems to have for things that a) weren't her fault, and b) happened when she was 7 or younger. THAT is a super interesting mindset to explore, imo, though I did find her social ineptitude charming haha
Yukari... I think that she might grow on me more later. I can feel it in my bones. I suppose I'll find out with The Answer dlc! I know broadly what happens in it, but I haven't actually seem a playthrough of it, nor do I really know what happens to all the characters. I think my opinion of Yukari might have been tainted slightly by everyone having such strong opinions HAHA- I definitely like her, but I don't think she's clicked just yet. (I did really like her social link, though!) (also Yukamitsu I love Yukamitsu. The lesbians aren't doomed! Good for them)
Okay this is going to upset some people probably but Koromaru isn't really much of a character and I keep forgetting about him LMAO. uh. he's a good boy?
Fuuka... I really think that she's just underdeveloped. Her social link didn't really do her any favours in my eyes (I'm SO glad that atlus cut the "girl learns to cook" social link in p5 HAHA i really didn't like it with Yukiko either) Her social link obviously isn't just the cooking shenanigins, but it overshadows the bits of character growth that happen intermittently. I think that her SL really would have benefitted from being more about her love of electronics, if anything, since that isn't explored AT ALL and is more a plot device than a character trait. (Plus, the root of all her self-esteem issues go unadressed, which I think would have been a good character beat otherwise) (In saying this I think Fuuka/Natsuki is very cute. The lesbians stay winning in p3)
Makoto/Minato! Honestly, I was pretty neutral towards him from the majority of the fics I had read before playing p3r. I really like his characterisation in Throw Away Your Mask and The Twilight Wants Him Back, but those had been outliers in my mind. I started liking him more and more after playing p3r, and NOW, after having watched 1/4 of the p3 movies- oh boy. boy oh boy. I really like him now HAHA. Having his apathy actually effect his realtionships with SEES early on is super interesting and I love when it's done. (plus, I think Yukari hating him at first really strengthens their friendship later on)
Uh this post is already super long so for all the other plot-relavant characters and confidants I'm just gonna say "it's a secret" and melt into a bush or something
(tysm for the ask! You can tell I was waiting for an excuse to talk about this HAHA)
(btw y'all shoud read the fics I mentioned in this- they're excellent)
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 3 spoilers#asks#The lesbians really are winning in p3#good for them... good for them!#HAHA anyways I'm DEFINITELY going to write these characters at some point#long post#loooong post#whoops
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^^ Well said. I delayed reading it because I didn't want to engage with it for a while - and, once I did, even though Collins had earned so much trust from me with her handling of Katniss and Peeta's disabilities, I was still wary. So I actually highlighted every instance where she wasn't writing him according to ableist tropes.
Yes, at 18 he's been shaped by Capitol indoctrination at school and in his family and in the media. He sees with those lenses. They come easily and automatically to him. But he also connects with people as people and realizes - oh, the District kids are just kids?? And they're being starved and hurt? I know what it's like to go hungry... This is wrong. Why should Lucy Gray have to sing just to get food? I'll get her some, even though I don't have enough.
Over and over - but if you stand up for the wrong people, you will be punished. He tries it; he protects Lucy Gray. And then he pays the price and -- somewhere along the way, he doesn't want to pay anymore. He wants to protect his family and be a winner. And you can't be a winner--comfortable and safe and in control--and stand with someone your society has designated to lose. So he chooses.
It's heartbreaking - and it is, sadly, terrifyingly, the kind of choices the majority of people make - his 18-year-old choices, that is. That moment in his life is the perfect one to write about, because it turns the eye of the story on how young people are shaped - but also, at that young stage, he's closer to the common ordinary people in any corrupt society. He's just trying to survive. It's later that his urge to win motivates him to get worse and worse and worse - no longer wanting to protect his family, in fact tossing Tigris aside, *only* wanting to win. Taking pleasure in driving people into the ground.
It takes decades of choices for him to become that person, though. And it is a creation he makes of himself. The younger person is closer to most people though.
For example, I live in a democracy, thankfully. And yet it is so much driven by what Langston Hughes called "the same old stupid plan / Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak." When I walk into work and I see the cops clearing unhoused people from the only homes and safety they have--a process that we know from studies shortens peoples' lives, hurts them emotionally and physically for no gd reason, just cruelty, just greed--living in an encampment near my work - I don't do anything. I'm afraid to. Sure, I try to donate to people who help and write letters and vote... but I don't resist directly. I'd be punished. So there's a little bit of that 18-year-old kid early in the book who knows right and wrong and yet just wants to be safe in me. And I have to wrestle with it. Because I don't want to ever forget that it's a wrestling match. That's when the perverse incentive structure starts to consume you IMO. And most of us live in societies with perverse incentive structures of some kind. Some lure that is offered to us, of feeling better than, of exploiting others, and some threats of punishment too.
To my mind, it's a good story that can make me think of feeling a pang of shame and sadness and then looking away as the cops clear people and remembering that it's a struggle, that I am not simply on the side of angels, that my society is structured around cruelty and greed and it doesn't have to be. It shouldn't be.
re: the use of trauma. I'm interested to see what Viola Davis does with the role and how Dr Gaul is adjusted in the film script - honestly, her apparent flatness was one of the things in the book I thought could be better? And in film reviews I'm reading it seems like they strengthened her. We'll see. I think she's so good at leaning into why all of this is justified because she truly believes it. And she's looking for future leaders who can truly believe it too. And, as much as she and Highbottom apply pressures to shape this youth--including that hilarious imo scene where Coriolanus naively says "people love children"--by the end Coriolanus is writing her letters and offering himself as someone who will fit that shape in order to get the rewards it offers. There's a subtle shift as that happens that is quite nuanced. And, again, focusing on his youth is so powerful because he's a being in formation, a person being created and creating himself as an adult.
There's a *reason* why Collins opens the book with this quote:
“I thought of the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of his existence, and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling by the loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him.” — Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, 1818
Though, again, the major shift of Part 3 for me is that he begins to take an active part in forming himself and he is fashioning himself to be a winner, to fit what he believes Dr Gaul and the authorities at the military school want, hoping and fearing that he won't be able to do it so well and desperately happy when the chance at rewards for doing so is still open to him. IMO Part 3 and the Epilogue aren't the end of his journey, they're the death of other possibilities and the birth of who he's choosing to become. And even he can't fully imagine where that will go as the decades pass and the choices mount up.
That is not the kind of quote you use to begin a story about someone who was born evil to begin with. The book takes 528 pages even though it's only about a few months in one 18-year-old's life precisely because it's a carefully drawn and teased out character journey, a corruption arc. As reviewer David Ehrlich put it in his review of the movie:
is Coriolanus embracing his nature or defiling it?
It's supposed to be a question, not a foregone conclusion. And I think the weight of the text itself leans in favor of "defiling" as the answer. Though it can be interpreted multiple ways (as it should be). I think the movie only lines we have from Lucy Gray in the trailer hold true: "there’s a natural goodness born into us all.” But, in one way or another, it doesn’t just stay that way, it’s a struggle. “It’s our life’s work to stay on the right side of that line [between good and evil].”
It’s a little on the nose with the themes, but I’m cool with them having her be so clear about it since apparently it’s not clear in the book I guess????
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I was tagged by @dragonsoftheeast to write about my writing - thank you!!! If you know me, you know I love to go on about this, so be prepared, this is a long one.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
15
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
312,657
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Elite Elite Elite, baby. I have one Money Heist fic (Nairobi, la puta madre para siempre 🔥) and one Class fic, but that's an Elite remake, sooo… I'm pretty much a one-trick pony haha.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Close your eyes, count to ten (duh); The ties were black, the lies were white (next chapter coming soon!); Midnights in October; Summer state of mind; It's the most wonderful time of the year
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! I'm so grateful for comments and love chatting with people about their thoughts, the characters, my interpretation of them, etc.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmm, I don't know that I really do angsty endings. Lots of angsty stories and chapter endings, for sure. But the ending-ending is usually at least hopeful, or perhaps melancholy. Maybe Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Fics like Midnights in October or Best Friends Forever are sad, but I wouldn't say the ending is angsty.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Close your eyes, count to ten! No way was I going to give Lu anything but the happiest ending after everything I put her through ❤️
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No! Honestly surprising considering I write so much VaLu and they're a little controversial, but I guess I got into Elite fic when the fandom was already pretty small, so not that many people were around to care anymore, haha.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Only very brief scenes.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Midnights in October is a ghost story (that's really a story about friendship) inspired by The Haunting of Bly Manor. And, uh, 12 points go to… is kind of a crossover with the Eurovision Song Contest? But my only real crossover is I put a spell on you, Hocus Pocus with the Elite characters.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Not yet.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Lu and Valerio will always have my heart.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I have a laaarge number of story ideas that only exist in my head, but I don't have any unfinished WIPs right now. I'd like to think I'll end whatever it is I started, even if it may take me forever 🙃
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm good with plotting- I have good ideas that I can turn into fairly good stories, I'd like to think. I give different characters room to grow, or at least give them little moments to shine, too, not just my favorites/ main characters. With characters I know well, I can make them "make sense"- dig into their motivations, their character traits, how they've been treated and have it be clear (maybe not for the characters around them, but for the reader) why they act the way they do and why they make certain decisions, even when they're bad decisions.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
There are some physical reactions people have that I repeat too often. I love angsty drama and in longer stories, I put in so much sometimes that it loses its effect a little, I think. I'd like to be able to write more lyrically, but I can't, so most of my stuff is pretty straight-forward. And I can't write good smut to save my life.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I personally don't believe in it. The occasional pet name or whatever thrown in is fine, but apart from that it a) doesn't make much sense to me; whatever language you write it, to me it's implied that this is the characters' mother tongue- like, I write in English, but the Elite characters live in Madrid, so the assumption is that they all speak Spanish, which would make switching to actual Spanish weird. And b) it's more work for readers then having to use online translators to figure out what people are saying.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I started to put down a Grey's Anatomy fic about Izzie and Denny yeeears ago that didn't go anywhere.
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
Obviously Close your eyes, count to ten will always be my baby. I spent close to three years with the characters and I'm proud of the story. But depending on the day and my mood I have other favorite fics, too.
I tag @dhyanshiva and @cangse-sanren, two incredibly talented Class fic writers. I can't think of any other mutuals who write, but if you do and that has escaped me (apologies), PLEASE DO THIS TOO! I'm serious- all fic writers, feel tagged!
#writing#fanfiction#close your eyes#elite#lu x valerio#money heist#la casa de papel#nairobi#class#class netflix#yashika x koel#team yashko#hocus pocus
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20 questions for fic writers!
Thanks for the tag @a-noble-dragon! 😘❤️
How many works do you have on Ao3?
Technically 14, but one is the epilogue to another fic and another is a collection of drabbles, so I'd say 12 complete fics.
What’s your total AO3 word count?
167,100
What fandoms do you write for?
At the moment Schitt's Creek and RWRB (though I haven't posted anything for latter yet)
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1- In the eyes of the beholder
2- Just because you like to wander, that doesn't mean you don't know the way
3- On the Outside Looking Through
4- The Great Canadian Baking Baker Show (Off)
5- When you least expect it
Do you respond to comments? Why or Why not?
It might take me a while, but I do. I really appreciate people commenting on my fics, so I think the least I can do to show that appreciation is to answer. I admit that there have been times when I've saved those comments for later, when I've been dealing with a particular bad case of writer's block, as some sort of motivation. I'll answer to every comment eventually.
What is the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
I don't do angsty endings, so none.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
This is very hard to judge because all my fics have happy endings... But my angstiest fic is In another life, so maybe it feels happiest because I put them through a lot?
Do you get hate on fics?
I haven't yet. It's not something I'm particularly looking forward. (PSA: don't be mean to writers, if you don't like what they've witten, just close the tab. It's not that hard.)
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I've written sex scenes but I don't think they can be considered smut. They're rated M, but if anyone comes to my fics expecting smut they're gonna be very disappointed. I have every intention of writing smut eventually, but at the moment I have a couple of fics with placeholders like: character A puts X part of their body into character B or they do filthy things to one another. All my respect to smut writers, I wish I knew how to do what you do.
Do you write crossovers?
I haven't, no. Who knows if I'll try in the future.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. I'd like to, though. It must be fun.
What’s your all time favorite ship?
This is very hard to judge, but I'll say that David and Patrick are the ones that made me brave enough to share my writing, and my obsession with them isn't going anywhere.
What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
There are a few that I don't think I'll finish. The one I'm most sad about is a David/Patrick Russian Doll AU because I have quite a lot written and I find that Universe fascinating. The saddest part is that I even have a title for it. I can never come up with a title, but this one, that I doubt I'll ever finish, has one already 🤦🏻♀️
What are your writing strengths?
Oooooof, I don't know. I think I'm okay at plotting? And dialogue comes quite "easy" to me, but I don't know if that's a strength...
What are your writing weaknesses?
Punctuation for sure.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Everything I write in english is in another language for me... Alexander or June Claremont-Díaz might give me the chance of writing in my language for a change 😅
First fandom you wrote for?
The Hunger Games my beloved (never posted, of course)
Favorite fic you’ve written?
This is an impossible question but my go to answer is always On the Outside Looking Through. First fic I ever finished and posted, I'm still enormously proud of that one.
Tagging @lizzie-bennetdarcy @beaiola @wordthieve @noahreids @dinnfameron @blackandwhiteandrose @jamilas-pen @alienajackson @stereopticons @tyfinn @apothecarose @vanillahigh00 and anyone else who wants to answer!
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thoughts on nona the ninth chapters twenty-four and twenty-five
PALAMEDES FUCKING TOOK THE BODY
HOLY SHIT
HE DID IT
HE COMPLETED THE NERD TO JOCK TRANSITION
we might be able to find gideon's body soon. can't wait to find out that none of this works as we expected.
maybe if ianthe read more novels about plucky youths with the power of logic she would have beaten palamedes in the mental battle
so pyrrha suspected nona was dying. honestly i've really enjoyed the way that nona is just, a kind of being that engages with life differently. aware of her own mortality in a way most humans aren't, yet enjoying every moment she can and always curious about the next moment.
damn we really might be about to find the body. key to a door, last thing left of wake, and possibly nona.
lol the blood wards are so weak they could only even kill one of nona's hands
hey it's her
got that potentially selfcest kiss in
kinda anticlimactic
is what i said until i finished the chapter what the FUCK gideon is here what the FUCK bingus bongus zinkus zonkus idk where this is going now, so maybe Nona really is just Harrow's mind in a weird state, or maybe she's Something Else, who fucking knows
let's read the next one
this is
gideon with more confidence than usual, i think, maybe, i dunno, it's been a while. i guess she kinda wasn't allowed to be outgoing during most of book 1 but idk. it's still a weird level of confidence for the situation. or not. idk.
so john just
brought gideon back
and this entire time she's just been hanging around as the daughter of big g
this makes me kind of mad, because i think how gideon and john would react to each other is super interesting and i wish we got a book that showed us more of that
but she goes by kiriona gaia now
and she's dead
but like, what
this isn't right
this is not right
the real gideon would care way more about finding harrow again
but what if she does, and this situation is just so fucking weird and i'm missing the contxt
what happened to her
she calls nona a fake nonagesimus
i'm gonna be honest, i like nona more than i like gideon and harrow, so if i have to say goodbye or fuck you to either of the OGs, i'm willing to if it means staying on team nona
gideon would not be this mean to someone as innocent as nona!!! don't tell nona to shut up!
what's going on in the river right now
kiriona wants to go to the ninth?
As emotionally frustrating as this is, I think this is probably the most interesting way to answer the mystery of finding Gideon again. That we find her, but she's not who we wanted her to be anymore. And the question of who Nona is can be something more complicated than just, Gideon or Harrow. A simpler reveal would honestly just feel flat.
her motivation being just to kill the boredom could make sense, but like... she just doesn't feel right. Where's the Gideon that cared?
But did she really ever care about anything that wasn't hot girls, fighting, and Harrow?
Is this how she always looked from the outside?
I don't think so (she wouldn't have been so mean to Nona) but they're questions worth asking. And I believe Nona that Kiriona is lying.
Maybe it's not a real Gideon. Or is intentionally corrupted in some way by John. Maybe this is all part of a big plan to sabotage the attempt to get into the tomb. Give them who they think they need, but she'll betray them.
hmm. can't take her blood. could just be a general defensive measure. or could be a way to force BoE to need to take the woman with them personally.
Honestly though, if we were building to a "not the real gideon" twist, if it was purely a fake, then it would actually try to hide it. I think that, like it or not, this is who John made his daughter into. Dick move ngl.
Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die.
damn
man this was some shit
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Not sure I agree with that last anon. First off, feminists are actaully the most likely group to listen to men's problems than any other group. Tbf not every feminist does that, like man haters and Terfs are a different stories, but feminist who know what they're talking about have a broader view than "man vs woman" and understand that everyon esuffers under patriarchial standards, just in different ways. Non-feminists and especially your typical "dude bro alpha males" will absolutely make fun of any man having any feelings that aren't anger. I'm a man and I speak from peronal experience here.
And honestly I'm so tired of people complaining about how feminism ruined the show bc Mari has more screentime than Adrien. Astruc wouldn't know feminism if it hit him in the face. He just fails to understand that feminism is not "woman strong man weak". Adrien is the focus of most plot lines because he's Marinette's main motivator to do anything. Astruc based her entire personality about liking a boy. Doesn't sound very feminist to me.
The Adrien abuse not being followed more is also not the result of feminism, it's just a quirky little accessory for Adriens character so the fandom doesn't entirely forget he's here. Hell, Adrien being an abuse victim is like the number one reason why he is so popular in the first pace. Gabe's an ass, Adrien is sad, the audience feels sorry for him. There's no substance, no complexity, no overcoming any complicated emotions. And that's not because feminism, it's because the writers have no idea what being abused actually means, especially how the actions of the abusers get constantly excused. Not only Gabriel, but also Audrey and Jagged who abandoned their kids get away scot free. The writers don't care about abuse victims or giving them a character they can relate to, they just use it as a character trait because they don't know how else to make a character likeable and symathetic. It has nothing to do with any narrative about how "white men are predators" or whatever.
I'm guessing you saw my posts as merely a chance to rant about fandom tendencies that get you peeved, but next time, please just say so, instead of trying to make it sound like I said something I didn't. Like, I get it, the Anon messaging me made it sound like they thought the Miraculous crew were radfems, which I also highly doubt. But also note that this message you sent really reads like you're saying I said or implied something like: "feminism ruined Miraculous" or "feminists treat male victims of abuse worse than other people", which I absolutely did not. I'm a queer feminist, but I'm not exactly running a social justice information blog here. Not everything I say is going to sound perfectly eloquent, but my response in that post was literally less than 200 words; you can spend more time reading it if you're going to send me an essay saying things I was trying to say but with more words and defensiveness and countering arguments I didn't make.
I should probably say this: you're not wrong but that doesn't mean I'm wrong either. Yes, feminists are more likely to listen to and advocate for male victims than other parties. HOWEVER, it is still an undisputable fact that many feminists (note: I never said all) hold the belief that men can never be victims, and that attitude is not only present in radical feminists. I don't like it either, but some feminists are jerks and we can't deny that fact. Still, the main point I was trying to make was that this attitude is not tied to feminism or anti-feminism to begin with; it's a more universal societal bias.
I agree with your point that Miraculous doesn't necessarily have anything to do with denying male victimhood, as I said: the writers don't need to villify Adrien in order to not focus on his story. I was merely stating that the subconcious bias around abuse makes it very easy for the writers to just go: "there isn't really a story here." It's true that the Miraculous writers really don't seem to grasp just how much parental abuse happens in their story, which means that the underlying bias we can see in the show might actually be about parental abuse, rather than male victims specifically. While Kagami is getting support over her situation, Chloé isn't, so it might not be tied to the victim's gender. Still, there is clearly a bias in the show's writing where the abuse present in the story isn't being taken seriously as abuse.
I even agree that Miraculous being a girl power show is not some great failure of feminism, even when some issues with the show come specifically from it being a girl power show. "Girl power" is just the most basic way of making a show that's designed to get girls to like it, and it often doesn't lend itself to nuanced storytelling. Girls being the target audience doesn't make this show feminist; it's just what the creators think appeals to girls.
It's just kind of pathetic that all these problems are becoming more prominent specifically in the seasons the showrunners are trying to tell us are going to be more mature and emotional. Not that raising the rating by one bar is that big of a difference, really.
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Why are you upset :( please tell!
Do you really wanna hear my angry ranting bullshit?
Oh sweet God XD
You guys are about to see another side to me. A... not very happy side. An... almost scary side. I don't usually do this, but... yeah. If you don't want to read my angry rantings, please ignore this post.
Also if you're a fan of Scheherazade then... you really might want to ignore this post XD
---
I'm just really mad that the story and the characters were acting like Scheherazade's actions are 100% rightful… wtf.
And the story has the nerve to put all the blame on her dad, for… ignoring her? Weak.
She ran away from home, formed a band of thieves, became a terrorist, stole money from LITERALLY EVERYONE ON THE KINGDOM, including her dad (out of revenge too), killed a whole bunch of people, attempted to kill a child (or steal their soul, which is a fate worse than death) tried to rule the entire kingdom…
All because her dad was ignoring her. This is disproportionate retribution if I've ever seen it.
If all it took was for her dad to look at a fucking picture for him to realize the error of his ways… did she really try her hardest to get him to change? Did she really? Or did she just run away from home without even trying XD
Like, her and the story put all the blame on her dad for ignoring her and being greedy. And yeah, that's sad, whatever.
But… none of the shit that she does lines up with that being the reason for her actions. This is what sociopaths do, you know. They do some fucked up shit, then manipulate other people into thinking that it's THEIR fault, and that THEY'RE the victims (the sociopaths).
Instead of trying to help her father realize what's really important in a NOT evil way, or use her wish to undo everything, she… wishes to become a genie so she can rule over the kingdom? I guess she wished she could have Samhal's powers cause she knew he'd purposely fuck it up, but...
What is this??? She wanted to steal everyone's money, and take over the kingdom?!
Doesn't that go against what she really wanted? Is she trying to get revenge on her dad? That's incredibly fucked up. And she hurt, tortured, etc everybody to do it...
It seems to me that her father ignoring her is more like an excuse, and not the true motives for her megalomania bullshit.
And now by the end of the story, everyone, including her father, lets her off the hook for it. Just because she reseted everything. Which wasn't even her choice! It was her father's!!! HE learned a lesson. SHE didn't. And everyone's pretending like she didn't do all that shit, and that she's a victim...
Wtf…
At least with other villains that have sympathetic reasons, like Ringmaster Raven and Octavian, the story makes it pretty damn clear that their actions are not right:
And even characters who feel a bit sympathetic for them, like Mya with Octavian… she has enough brain cells in her skull to know that it is still evil, and they are still EVIL, and that they're actions are NOT JUSTIFIED!
And I cannot believe I'm saying this, because this guy is the most sociopathic villain in Poptropica, but…
Gosh darn it to heck. At least Myron Van Buren didn't put his fucked up shit on someone else. He outright admitted that he enjoyed hunting people, it's not like he… blamed his dad, or the player, or some shit XD
He's not putting the blame on someone else right here. He's admitting that HE LIKES IT!!!
So, I gotta ask: Why is Scheherazade treated better than these other villains? Why are they acting like what she did was totally justified, and putting all the blame on her fucking dad? Jesus lord. Especially considering that her motivation is so damn stupid.
And now by the end of the story, he thinks that all of the murder, terrorism, thievery, megalomania shit that his daughter did… is all on him. That's some bullshit.
Even as a kid, I always felt like there was something off about her character, but I couldn't place it. I just knew that I wanted to like her, in the same way I liked other villains. But… I just didn't. I thought her motivation was… off. Weak Sauce. So she came across as a bit petty. And I was uncomfortable with the story putting all of the blame on her dad… so weird, wtf.
And you wanna know what the craziest part about all of this is? I literally would not even be mad, if the story wasn't acting like she was the fucking victim here!!! Her response to her dad ignoring her was... to become a terrorist.
And I'm just going to assume that the only reason dad made that wish is because he wanted a better life for him and his daughter XD it's just that the longer it went on, the more he lost it. Why didn't she... do something before. Maybe she tried, and it failed, but... don't run away from home and become a terrorist? What is this?
I would argue that the shit she did to her dad was 1000 times worse than anything he did to her! This is bull.
Oh, fuck you. I'm so mad at her XD
He learned a lesson, but she didn't. This is crap!
The funniest thing about all of this: this entire island is really good XD It's just the story being easy on Scheherazade that I'm mad about.
TL;DR: Put Scheherazade in Erewhon Prison. That is all :)
#sorry you had to see that#rant#long post#ask#scheherazade#scheherazade poptropica#sultan#sultan poptropica#arabian nights island#ringmaster raven#monster carnival island#octavian#octavian poptropica#mystery of the map#poptropica graphic novels#poptropica graphic novel#myron van buren#survival island#poptropica#poptropica screenshots#poptropica analysis#character analysis
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Hihihi!!!! I know this is a pretty random ask and I’m too shy to take it off of anon T^T I love the way you put your thoughts together!!!!!! All of your posts are super well done!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t wanna answer this feel free not to- but I was just curious, do you think any of the supporting cast from RE4R like The Merchant, Luis or Ashley left any lasting impact on Ada going forward with her life??? Like do you recon she’d remember them?????? :00 ((Also I’d feel guilty if I didn’t mention this also, but ik you’re not the biggest fan of Luis/I personally VERY MUCH SO disagree with your opinions on him (although I’m biased because my autism hyperfixated on him BDNEHENDJ) so again if you don’t wanna answer this ask you don’t have to!!!!! Sorry if this is very rambly I’m not good at putting my thoughts together concisely BDBEWNEH))
i added yours together so i didn't have to separate them sjkbfdskjfs
no worries on staying on anon! i know it's easier this way for people. and tysm!!!! <3
i feel like the merchant is always just like this- not real person that's written in for game mechanics lol. it's hard to realistically imagine it being real even though i know it's "real." it's not the same like nurse joy and officer jenny in pokemon where it like SURE MAKES SENSE but like the merchant following leon and ada around on the island is fucking hilarious to me.
i do think that luis had a bit of an impact on her, but she was also using him- so it would make sense if it was minimal in how she felt in his death. one of the minor changes i see people complaining about ada is her frailty, it is a change that i've seen talked about more and more in re4r and it furthers my theory that her apathy and less "overpowered" nature is a way to humanize her. which i don't particularly like in some aspects.
i've always liked ada to be emotionally resilient and to see her be more emotional regarding leon (which is actually a positive to show that her affection for him is more reciprocal), is a bit jarring and actually makes it seem like they're trying way too hard to get the audience to sympathize with her (which is a good thing, but it seems similar in the way that men write women = women bad, women weak, women sad.) you can show ada having mixed affections for leon without reducing her to a lovesick girl, which she isn't.
i wouldn't say i hate luis lol sjkfbsjk i really enjoyed the changes that they made initially upon first experiencing re4r. but the more time that i spent analysing the writing, the more i felt as though his writing were all plot devices and as a means to move the story along. (this isn't bad at all!) tbh, it makes sense, luis is a secondary character, a NPC and isn't meant to showcase all of his emotions and reasonings and motivations- but that's also a detriment (for me) because i don't find his motivations convincing or aligning well with his writing.
i do stand by my original thoughts that all the additions of luis' character writing was at the detriment to ada's writing. several scenes that had ada suddenly didn't. and the balancing wasn't enough tbh for how ashley and luis were both fleshed out. we got a modicum of additional inner thoughts with her monologue, but they aren't necessary new thoughts. these were assumed thoughts that we always had and weren't groundbreaking or enhanced her backstory (THAT MUCH) in comparison to how much was added for ashley and luis
additionally, i think that ada might have been a bit more sympathetic towards ashley than in og re4 , which i guess is nice
i think that every character can have faults and can be poorly written- that doesn't mean that you can't like them!!
i love tons of poorly written characters, or even characters that are barely written. i love annoying characters, stupid characters, it all depends on how they're written!
i completely understand being hyper fixated by something- i also do!
i was def more just a leon girlie before i switched to ada lmao
ah sorry this is also rambly skbfkjsdfsj it's late when i wrote this
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20 Questions for fic writers
Tagged by @barry-j-blupjeans (thank you!!!)
tagging @sgrumby and anyone who wants to play!!
1. How many works do you have on A03?
132
2. What's your total A03 word count?
568,150! half a million!!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly TAZ Balance and Star Wars (Prequels/TCW era, mostly), but I've written a fair amount for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine in the past, and I'll sometimes write a fic here or there for other fandoms.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
They're all Star Wars fics, which makes sense but makes me kind of sad because I love my other fics too. But oh well:
still much that is fair.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Jedi Code, and Other Things That Anakin Has Misunderstood
Take Two
brothers don't let each other wander in the dark alone
growing season (absolutely BLEW MY MIND that this one is in my top five now. It's a one-shot kidfic for a pairing I don't write often?? I'm not used to those getting notes. But I guess it is the Codywan era for prequels fans so I can see where it's coming from.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to! But sometimes I don't have the spoons for it. But I love getting comments and want to show my appreciation!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't usually write super angsty endings! I don't like them. Or, well, actually I do enjoy them sometimes, but IDK, if I'm writing a whole-ass fic, I usually want to make the ending happy!
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending
still much that is fair! which is wild because it has one of the angstiest premises I've ever written (suicide attempt that all loved ones believed to be successful, ends with characters giving each other hugs and 'love yous' and closure)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Rarely. Every once in a while. Sometimes people don't like me writing autistic headcanons or characters mentioning pronouns.
9. Do you write smut?
No. I'm not opposed to it in fic, but it doesn't interest me.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No, but I'll read them sometimes. I'm not opposed to writing them, but I've never really gotten an idea for one that inspires me.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of! I did once have someone warn me that my fic was 're-posted' to ao3 back in the days when I was still posting on both ffnet and ao3 with different usernames.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, actually, though I forgot about it until asked! It's not one I ever posted. I co-wrote a Maximum Ride fic with a friend in middle school, lol. But I'd love to co-write again in the future! It's fun to talk about ideas with friends.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
All-time favorite ship is SO hard for me because I'm a multishipper and I flipflop fandoms a lot, so I kind of default to my first (and still beloved) ship: Janeway/Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager. I'm also gonna answer for my two main fandoms atm: Star Wars is Obi-Wan/Satine and TAZ Balance is Barry Bluejeans/Lup/Lucretia, because I love a good polycule. Also Barry and Lup on their own are great but they remind me too much of my parents to really go wild over them.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Be My Brother's Keeper. A Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's daughter AU. I love that one and I had PLANS for it, but my Marvel days are so long gone.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm good at coming up with creative, unique ideas and making them work!! People often say that they didn't expect to like my fics from the premise but enjoyed them anyway. :3 I'm also good at character interactions and emotions
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Describing things, mainly visual things that are happening. They're just there, in the fanfic, not in a physical location to me. Also staying motivated to finish writing and avoiding derailing my own ideas with wanting to include EVERYTHING.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I haven't done it before but I'm not opposed!
19. fandom you wrote for?
Like, first fandom? Nancy Drew. I wrote a Nancy Drew fanfic when I was eight years old on looseleaf notebook paper, before I knew that anyone else wrote fanfic. In it, Nancy fell down a hole, broke her leg, everyone who loved her thought she was dead and they were all soso sad, but then they found her and it ended happily. My tastes have not evolved much since, but my writing ability has!
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Changes often! Currently it is The Parent Trap(ped in an Umbrella) but I'm also quite fond of Still Much That Is Fair and one more last try, I'm gonna get the ending right.
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i wrote this in a frenzy at 3am. i love undertale so much you don't understand
2:55: i hate it when my brain starts thinking too much in the fucking late ass hours of 2:45 am
anyway, i got recommended fallen down piano with reverb on yt again and yknow, obviously i gotta listen to the hella peaceful ass helllll music because it just do be really beautiful yknow?
but then i thought about how when monsters fall down, they're considered fallen monsters? i'm forgetting my exact undertale lore, but wasn't it about how the monster was dying of old age, or just having a weak SOUL in general? which was why alphys did her experiments and the whole point of the DT experiments to prevent them from dying.
and i know your best friend is the first song you listen to when you begin Frisk's journey through the underground, but i'm just thinking about how he's probably not done that to all of the other children that have fallen before Frisk, considering that Toriel is always there to help the children and care for them.
So, tying back to Fallen Down..., all of the kids that fell into the Underground had "fallen" in the sense of if they were a monster, they would've been dying. all of the children who fell into the underground had a sense of not wanting to continue their lives with the other humans, which is why they decided to fall into the hole in hopes of finding release from their lives.
they've been emotionally dead for a long time. that's where they start, and that's their emotional state when they decided to fall. they're children who don't have the will to keep going, but then toriel comes in and takes care of them, they want to feel loved, to be a child, to be a human where they can just be. it's why each and every one of them make the decision to go through the ruins door, to experience living
2:56: anyway this is bullshit analysis it's nearly 3am i don't think i made sense
2:56: me getting emotional over fallen down for the 27345394 time
2:58: gods i love undertale characters
i fucking love toriel and her flaws, because it's what makes her seem like well rounded person who has motivations and grief, and that grief is what makes her so, so unique in how she presents herself
3:00: i fucking love papyrus because he is so skroigly but also because he believes in you. even in the no mercy run, he isn't naive. he isn't, good god. yes he sees the best of people, but it does get more than that. he loves. he loves so much. and isn't that just difficult in this society sometimes yknow?
3:02: i fucking love undyne, because despite her slightly misguided anger towards humans, she is, after all, representing of justice. she wants the bring the best out of everyone. she's critical, but she can identify when she's wrong. she just exudes so much confidence and is such a big motivator, it makes it so hard to dislike her.
3:04: i fucking love alphys, and isn't she such a complex character when at first glance. she really isn't that complicated in terms of how much analysis of her personality really needs. she wants to help, but she afraid to do it wrong. she wants to be the best, but she never feels her best. if she hides her mistakes, then nobody needs to know that she was a "bad person," when she was just trying to do what she thought was right.
3:05: i fucking love metatton, and after reading ALIVE AU it made me love him even more. yes, he's selfish, but he still wants the best for alphys. he's the type of monster who doesn't outwardly show he cares, but he will absolutely be there when you need it most, to bring you back and to make sure you're ok.
3:06: he also has some regrets and grievances, don't get me wrong, this is probably the most unknown character for me haha, but he makes me think about how, in reality, there really is just one life, and that one life you should make the most of it.
3:08: i fucking love asgore. a sad old pitiful shell of himself, but filled with so much pain and regret for all the things he's done. he wants to mend his wounds, but he cannot bring himself to. he feels as if his decisions were his to bare, and he must deal with his own consequences. he needs a hug, but he'd never accept one.
he doesn't think he deserves forgiveness, but he does. he really does.
3:11: and of course, sans.
well, i know he is famous because of megalovania, but in the end, he really makes me sad, maybe pity.
depression is a bitch. the amount of hope he exudes when he sees the sunrise during the pacifist makes me cry. he never thought he'd get here. he never thought he'd be okay enough to be there for papyrus.
because isn't everything for him?
even when you kill papyrus, he doesn't do anything except call you a dirty brother killer.
he's so, so tired. really, he's just putting up a mask every day.
and he is literally the exact opposite of papyrus yeah?
3:12: anyway. i didn't think i'd type so much haha
3:12: love letter to the game that made me feel
3:15: i think, because the story really makes you think about decisions, that your decision to reset, will affect everyone? makes this world really real for me.
don't get me wrong, i love omori. the story is really good and i love it to bits. sunny has an incredibly complex history with his emotions but... the story will always just feel like just that. a video game character on a screen.
3:23: hmmm. i'm thinking again. i think what really did it in for me is this old comic i saw even before i got into undertale and saw a playthrough of it.
it was simply drawn, but basically someone wanted to replay undertale after the true pacifist route, and flowey comes on screen right? but then the comic artist wrote about how they couldn't do it. they couldn't reset, because it had been probably a few months or like a year since they've played, and Frisk had probably done so much in that timeframe, it would be incredibly cruel to take it all away because "you were curious" to play the game all again
and it also ended with someone else commenting "undertale: the game you never play again" or something like that
#deepest dark#undertale#*guruuruuggles*#it's 4am now babyyyy#i just remember oh hey i can post whatever i want on tumblr#so i'm posting my love letter to undertale#this letter is so fucking bad but oh my god#oh my god i fucking love undertale#like yes as much as i love utmv you gotta just. appreciate the origin#and goddAMN DO I FUCKING LOVE UNDERTALE#also i didn't write about chara because bruh i am a chara apologist???? i have so many words to say about them??? oh my fucking gods?????#i fucking love chara oh my god you don't even KNOW. i will defend them for the rest of my fucking life.#even though they don't need defending in the first place because a child is still a child and NOT!!! the reason why genocide happened.#you the PLAYER decided to do a genocide run. not Chara. simply put.. YOU gave chara the idea that killing was for power#CHARA did nothing wrong.#oh damn i guess i did write about chara ANYWAY
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I do like Kuvira, I love me a hot lady villain and her VA is awesome, im just not really that into her as a villain. I always felt like she kind of came out of nowhere. Like yeah she is in season 3 but besides like one shot that weirdly lingers on her I never really noticed her. The first time I watched it I literally had no idea who Kuvira was when s4 started and even after multiple rewatches I still have to pay really close attention to notice her in s3. But beyond that she felt kind of basic I feel like compared to the other villains of lok. Especially when compared to the red lotus (who imo are the best villains of the series) she just kind of felt like a slightly improved firelord. She only really became interesting to me once she talks with Korra and we learn a little bit about her past. (And honestly the whole "I was an orphan so I didn't want to see my nation be orphaned" thing always felt kinda weak to me.) Come to think of it that is the one way shes different than all the other lok villains, all the other villains we learn at least a little bit about their past and what led them to do what they're doing. With Kuvira we don't get that until after she's already defeated. Idk I just feel like her arc could be tweaked a little bit so that im more invested in her. Even when she betrays Bataar Jr. it doesn't really feel like that comes from anywhere. Like yes shes willing to do whatever it takes to achieve her goals, but why is she so willing to directly end Bataar. Is it because she never really loved him? Does she love him and its actually a tough decision? We have no insight and she shows no emotion so that act doesnt really add anything to her character. Like when P'Li dies when the red lotus are trying to capture Korra, beyond having previously seen her and Zaheer being affectionate, we know that this deeply affects Zaheer because 1) just his reaction and 2) he's able to fly afterwards showing that she was his last earthly tether. Even without knowing the backstory of their relationship, his reaction to her death adds a layer of depth to his character. But we dont really get that for Kuvira so I dont really know why it was included (if only to make Bataar sad and bring the family back together). Idk this got really rambly but yeah, I feel like they couldve made Kuvira a lot more interesting if they had just taken some time to give us a little bit of insight into wither her past or even just some of her inner motivation before the finale lol
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G Gundam meta/notes part two, episodes 17-20:
"Challenge! Mysterious Masked Fighter" / "Steal the Secret! Scheme of the Beautiful Warriors" / "Fierce Battle! Dragon Gundam vs. Bolt Gundam" / "George, Beat the Nightmare!" (the notes sort of jump around/run together here)
-there's nothing like Domon's relationship to Master to really highlight that he's naive and wants to believe the best of people at heart. Or at least that he's lost everyone else in his life and cannot handle the thought of this being another thing that's wrong. Either way he needs a damn hug.
-also Domon calls Guyana his "homeland". That has some REALLY interesting implications.
-so there seems to be a real setup here of Chibodee and George crushing on Rain - they were both chivalrous enough to her before, but the thank-yous are something else! Chibs drops his voice like he's trying to sound sexy, and George, oh man! "Show your gratitude" like he needs coached? The single red rose? And leaving it there for her forlornly? Either he's stunningly bad with women and Raymond pushed him to thank her so he did it in the overblown way he's learned from example, or he's got it bad. (Or a combination.) Either way, these feel like a spin on the classic 'you were nice to me'/hero crush.
-Nastasha is so fucking interesting!! She's so professional and logical, but her relationship with authority (both her own and that above her) chafes in such a neat way that you just know there's some good conflict ahead
-I fell some kind of way about the undertones, esp in Chib and George's eps, that, like,,, trauma is weakness/cowardice? And it's especially interesting with who it's coming from, and who it isn't. Schwartz seems to be the main mouthpiece for this, and I guess he's using denigration as a motivating tactic, but idk. Meanwhile Domon seems more compassionate (the soft "this is George's fight now" feels more I've-been-there than anything, and contrasts with the narrative "having traumatic flashbacks is the same thing as choosing to be a cowardly piece of shit actually" in a way I can't quite articulate).
-drunk Chibodee is funnier when you realize that timeline-wise he may have just turned 21, and sad when you realize he was probably trying to drink the flashbacks away
-"his destined rival" will never get old
-Schwarz hooking them up specifically is hilarious, and his affectionate referrals to their youth ("the cubs sharpen their claws" and all that)
-Domon enjoying the fight so much that he doesn't notice the SOS - is that the gay or the autism?
-Sai is a little shithead and I love it. I know it's played for laughs and is actually pretty disturbing when you think about it, but this could also tell us some neat stuff about how he was raised (presumably away from women) and what happens is exactly what the fuck you expect to happen when you loose a hormonal teenage boy on women for the first time.
-Seriously, Nastasha arguing with the higher-ups!! Good, good stuff ahead
-I want Raymond Bishop to be my grandpa
-"more coffee"
-We appear to be ambiguous on whether George has living family. Presumably if they were around we'd know, but they're not explicitly dead either. The bond with Raymond seems to suggest he raised George more than his parents did; very interesting canon fodder
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diary10
this is definitely a kind of milestone. 10 of these. that's nice. over a week of my life documented. it makes me happy i think. anyways. listening to poison hands by shearing pinx right now.
today i heard some fucked up stuff. a friend who is a substitute teacher had to deal with some kids showing some other kids stuff they should not, and no one on earth should be seeing.
i feel bad about knowing this kind of thing happens. i won't really go into the thing itself, but it gives me a sense that right now being a child is basically impossible. it was already impossible when i was a kid, i think. it was impossible for me at least, cuz at 10 i basically became familiar with how people could desire me, and even if only over webcams it's basically been a thing that's been inside me since forever. i don't think there's anything we can do. because of this sense that things are inhospitable and abuse is happening in ways we can't really understand, fags (e.g. me) will be blamed for creating some kind of modern gomorrah. everyone knows it's straight people and basically mostly, if not always (and it isn't always) men.
today i did record 1 more song, super screechy, and went into current single i'm trying to get out to redo some parts. i think it's basically 97% there for real now. i meant 98% but 97% seems maybe a little better.
i also wrote a new super short thing. exciting and fun, that one's probably going to go on the album. i wrote it while my gf was on the phone with her very annoying brother who i mostly feel bad for and i'm sure i'll talk about more. he's obsessed with christmas and having kids right now and i don't want him to have kids. he wants a son, his fantasy is to take his son to the bar when he turns 21. he doesn't think he'll live past 50. i think his life is going to be longer than he wants or expects.
when i was in highschool i thought i'd be dead by now.
i vced with my friends today. we talked about alien conspiracy and galactic federation shit. very sad people a lot of the time i think. i guess. i dunno. i want to write but i feel exhausted.
i really hate but am fascinated by all this content about how the internet right now is a pit full of groomers. it feels basically and profoundly reactionary, basically about how there's things happening right now at such a scale that we cannot know, and therefore, it's prevalent everywhere. but it probably isn't. a lot of people are basically normal. normal meaning a lot i guess.
it's too complex to put here and i just want to write it in fictions and poems (lyrics (i should get closer to thinking of them as poems, they sort of are because i just sort of write whatever and try to make it fit for the short songs)) where i can eviscerate and look at remains. here it's too. i dunno. i want to feel it in my teeth. i want to write. i am spent and tired. tomorrow i want to write but i will probably record.
i love my girlfriend of course. today i was thinking about how lucky i am to have met her. she has basically saved my life. that's insane to reflect on. without her i would be trapped at home still. we need other people, to motivate us towards something, people materially around us, to hold us by our hands, enough of us around one another, we can do anything i think.
i wrote something good that i am going to stick somewhere else. you won't see it unless it gets put somewhere you can see. sorry.
i wrote more, i think i'm happier now. i'm listening to the shame by the blood brothers. the writing is at least useful, it situates something for the 2nd part and makes the 3rd part easier maybe.
i love the blood brothers. i think they're a perfect band, every band after their first is perfect i think, excluding the last which is maybe just suffering from a couple songs with weak parts but not wholly weak. i love them so much. i love so much music.
i was thinking a lot today about how in highschool, discovering a lot of this kind of post-hardcore and hardcore, with high screams and less masculine voices, stranger music and stuff, really gave me something to attach to, it's like, real androgyne music to me. i dunno. the heat and flashing of these instants of pain, the screeching boys rendered into, i dunno, whatevers, ecstatic and sprinting from ideas, it's so perfect.
i keep saying that, sorry.
i need to read more soon. so much i need to do. oh, i cooked tonight, that was nice, and it was fun but i burnt the vegetables a little and my gf finished dinner which she usually doesn't do, actually, she's usually not that hungry ever so i get it but it does hurt my feelings because it makes me think it's me and nothing else. i'm a baby i guess. i'm too sensitive. everyone said that to me since i was a kid. honestly i wish i were more sensitive.
my friend saw that cover art i was making him finally, he likes it, that makes me really happy. my friend is me and my kidney, he makes cool dance music, this new record he's working on he's trying to go in a ymo direction sort of, as well as a bit of a weird midi-(ish) fusion thing. it doesn't really sound like midi, it's beefed up and has other samples, he wants something really organic but not actually like, really performed. not for conceptual reasons, he just loves synths, you know. we all do. or he and i do, and that's part of why we became friends in hs, cuz we liked weird synth stuff. i'm excited about what he is doing right now.
anyways i should try to relax now before sleeping. my face is washed and i did all my working out. #swaggy
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A collection of thoughts
youtube
Recently, there is a sense of wanting to "catch-up" with the stuff I missed on doing when I was a teenager.
At the age of 10 to 11 years old, I've been exposed to an environment where sacrificing my own "needs, wants, essentially, what we call as happiness" for someone else's benefit. This would root out from a lot of things within the family - my grandmother suffering from cancer (has metastasized over the span of years we've been with her), we've got financial problems that burdened us after she passed, family problems getting panned back and forth because of my dad's brother and my grandfather (company-related). I don't think I had a childhood that really allowed me to enjoy whatever the kids were enjoying at their age. My dad often shared all his woes to me that I've grown accustomed to what he considered is "normal" to him. In return, it gave me a predisposition that life is all about suffering and we are not deserving enough to have a breath of fresh air and just enjoy things as it is.
Over the years, I've realized that it isn't really productive to retain that kind of mentality. It's just another way to burn yourself out from whatever goal you have in mind. I think it works for my dad but it doesn't for me.
Now that I have a significant other who is privileged enough to experience a somewhat financially "able" type of life, there is a sense of "healing" that is happening within me. Throughout my high school and college life, I had a tendency to surround myself with people who were always emotionally struggling. I always found myself being unceremoniously put in the position of healing other people, being there for them, not dealing with my own mental weaknesses. I don't know. Why was I into that kind of crap? It was toxic. It only destroyed what remaining innocence I had in me as a person - given all the crap I had to deal with at home.
I am genuinely beyond happy and contented with my partner right now. We've got a few sad days where we both doubted ourselves if we're both good for one another but we greet each day as a new slate to prove of our affection. I hope it remains this way because I haven't felt this loved than ever. Not even my dad or mom has expressed this type of affection towards me. I love you, Waks ♥
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Experiencing happiness through another person's vlog/tiktok/life
You know, technically, isn't this the reason why we watch vloggers?? Instagrammers?? Tiktokers??
A majority of people in the world are unable to do the stuff they genuinely want to do because they've got other priorities and obligations to fulfill that's why they turn to social media to live even just for a few minutes of their lives, their dreams, through someone else's?? AM I MAKING SENSE HAHA
Because I followed a few people like Ciara (haha kung mabasa mo to, technically I am a fan 🤣🤣🤣 you should take it as a compliment tho; plugging her tiktok cos I love her content @itskiy*r**a yazz binabasa pa rin blogs ko ty bhi3 AHAHAHAH) - their tiktoks I mean - ALSO SHOUTOUT TO KISHA GUATLO MY GIRL CRUSH (FOLLOW HER TIKTOK PLS @gtl.k1)
I don't have the nicest of the body (pear-shaped, overweight BMI, not exactly motivated as of the moment to workout as much as I wanted to). Yeah, and I accepted that! HAHA I watch these people because they can dress nicely and be super cute, do fun tiktoks, eat what they want - and to just see a person live that type of life makes me happy because "hey! they're living the kind of life I wanted". I'm not jealous because I've accepted that it's not how things would go for me; I've got a different thing happening for me. In fact, it's somewhat of a body positive/inspirational thing to view their content because somehow, I'm a bit urged to take care of my body also HAHA
Enjoy lang sa life! Whatever comes, whatever it will be. It's what you choose to do with it that matters, okay? So cheer up. There's another day to come. Just keep moving forward in life. You'll get to be where you want to be rin basta you just keep walking. Do your best to learn from your experiences. And please, don't ever forget to be kind. Forgive people whenever you can. I just think there is so much more to life with bearing grudges. We've all got our stuff to deal with. Least we can do for other people is to just be kind to them.
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Being the person who often get told "save your words" after getting in an argument
I think people are, generally, not prepared to hear what other people has to say HAHA. This has happened a lot to me. Close friends becoming strangers just because of how prideful they've become. I think not all childhood friends are bound to become our lifetime friends. It's hard to accept that fact the moment that it happens. I still grieve to this day because I can't have that "same" friend back. She's got her own way and probably her own mistakes in life to realize. I still pray for good things to come her way.
I've come to a point in life where I don't really engage in conversations anymore. I used to tolerate making small talks with some random stranger but now, I'm just the type who absorbs the energy in the social environment. I listen.. a lot. I'm quiet. I get physically tired. So if a person approaches me, I'll talk to you. No judgments at all. Just talk to me. I'm a social sponge.
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I've been playing these songs since January 2022. HAHAHA So dumping them here
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Just A Bit of Rain - She's Only Sixteen (SOS)
For all the days you've felt incapacitated from not having a job that pays enough, unable to attain your goal for your age, for being a gen Z in an economy with skyrocketing inflation
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Leave Me Out of It - She's Only Sixteen
For all the days you just want to stay out of trouble, yeah listen to this. AHAHAH
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Good Company - She's Only Sixteen @9:35
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For all the times I've thought about Waks, I love you MY SUPER POGI BEBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And to whoever is reading this (including my future self), listen to this when you just want to slow down and chill.
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A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.
When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:
Who's the big gal?
Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.
As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control
He's fucking joking. You're not a girl.
but he's laughing along with Jack - or maybe trying to laugh it off? He immediately gets physical with Jack as well, and it looks to me like the sort of thing you might do, when someone you like just has said something that makes you intensely uncomfortable but you really don't want it to be a big deal. He's performing closeness with Jack: Look, I like this guy he wouldn't say something like that he doesn't mean it. While at the same time he literally jumps on him almost as if that would distract from the really hurtful thing Jack has just said.
But. Look at Stede's face while Ed does this.
He knows guys like Jack. All his life guys like this have shamed him for being "weak" and effeminate. And he knows the kind of guy who would laugh along with that for whatever reason - to protect his own image, to not cause a conflict. He's already tired of this interaction. Look at this sad little nod after Ed says "You're not a girl." (sorry for bad quality, this is not art, just to illustrate my point)
God this is. Painful. I feel this expression in my soul.
And he's still trying to play nice with Jack! He's offering his hand, he's welcoming him. He's even ignoring Jack's sarcastic little "Lovely", as they shake hands. Because Jack's a friend of Ed's and he's used to putting up with a little bit of bullying. But the disappointment here is palpable. And so is the resignation. Because Ed may not be a bully, but (from Stede's perspective) he doesn't defend Stede from abuse either, and part of Stede expected this to happen eventually. I'm not even sure he thinks about it as betrayal per say - it's one of the things that just happen. Bullying is inevitable and people are only friendly with him as long as no one can see.
But! From Ed's perspective, this isn't what's happening at all! I'm not saying he doesn't have baggage, but he probably didn't grow up with this specific kind of constant ostracizing. To him, it's all just friendly banter. He doesn't notice how hurt Stede is because, well, Stede is very good at not letting it on when something really hits him. To Ed, he's just averted a crisis, introduced his old best friend to his new best friend, and now they're all gonna go have breakfast together :D
It gets even worse later on, when Stede asks Jack about his ship. If you've ever been bullied tell me if this sounds familiar: You were just trying to defend yourself, but the bully suddenly starts a crying performance, and now you're the mean one. Meanwhile, all the bully's friends flock to them and comfort them because you really hurt their feelings, how dare you! I don't even think I need to talk about this further.
And then. It all culminates in the beach scene. After being literally peed on, Steve has finally had enough. He's an adult; he doesn't have to put up with this shit. He's still avoiding confrontation though, he simply extracts himself from the situation.
But Ed, who was just having a fun day at the beach, doesn't understand why Stede is suddenly leaving. Ed wants Stede to be there and share in the fun! More importantly, he wants to show this part of himself to Stede. He wants this to be a bonding experience, and he's really excited about it. So he tries to convince him to stay.
I might just head back to the ship.
But Ed (contrary to Stede tbh) is actually good at communication, and he wants to know what tf is going on, so he asks again.
And I think it's actually a testament to how close Stede's gotten to him that he actually tries to communicate his feelings for once.
What he says: "I'm not finding any of this a blast actually! I don't like to drink 'til I puke, or get pelted with coconuts. Or making a turtle fight a crab? That's just mean!" Now it's not that he finds any of these actions distasteful in particular. These are all just stand-ins for what Stede is actually angry about. Which is that Jack is hurting him in a way he's been hurt all his life, but he's not saying that. Because the first rule of the bullied kid is, you do not let the abuser (or their allies) know when they got to you. And in this moment, to him, Ed is an ally of Jack's.
Ed doesn't have all the context though. He doesn't know this about Stede's past, he doesn't know how sensitive of a subject this is for Stede. Fuck, he doesn't even know about all the interactions Stede had with Jack. Look at his expressions, as Stede goes on his little rant:
Why would you say this I thought we were friends :(
In this moment, Stede is triggering all of Ed's insecurities. To him, Stede just described a fun afternoon. He feels judged, like Stede is shaming him for his lack of sophistication.
Then Stede delivers the killing blow: "Honestly Ed? I don't like who you are around this guy." And he means: I thought I could trust you, I thought you wouldn't find this kind of behaviour acceptable.
What Ed hears is: You aren't good enough for me. I have seen a less refined side of you and I don't like it.
Which is why he says "But this is who I am." He's a pirate, and he'll never be an aristocrat, and if Stede doesn't like it, well, Ed also thought Stede was one of the good ones :'(
Just. A masterclass in miscommunication.
#in conclusion stede talk about your feelings darling <3#our flag means death#stede bonnet#edward teach#calico jack#thoughts#also everyone say thank you buttons for hexing that motherfucker
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