#idk i find the picture of him humming softly under his breath whenever he's deep in his work very endearing... </3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noctumbra · 3 years

Text

intentional

summary ─ “fuck him,” you muttered. “fuck him sideways.”

pairing ─ avenger!alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader

warnings ─ smut, +18, a/b/o dynamics, mutual pining, flirting, kissing, light choking (:d), rough sex, getting together, heat/rut sex, scenting, idiots in love

a/n ─ blame seb for that ig story picture. it made me do it. but seriously, can he choke me. anyway sfjdsjf hope you like it! leave a comment if you do! thankl youuuu <333 (italic is bucky, bold is reader) enjoy this 5.6k monstrosity.

You and Bucky had been flirting for some time, but it was more of a friendly flirting rather than something more. He would call you cute pet names and let you play with his hair on movie nights, and you would let him cuddle or hug you whenever he needed touch. You liked spending time and having a lot of fun with him.

Sometimes you scented each other, too.

His scent was reminding you all kinds of things that you considered safety and homey, so you never said ‘no’ when he wanted to scent you. He let you scent him back most of the time and you used it on his behalf; scenting him when he felt anxious, letting him bury his nose into your neck so that he’d calm down after a brutal mission or nightmare. It worked well for both of you.

Sometimes, though, you wished something more from him. There were times where you wanted him to kiss you, to pull you flush against his muscle-clad, big and warm body and to touch you like that. You wanted to know how his arousal smelled like up-close, but you were valuing your friendship a bit too much to make a move; you were afraid that you’d lose him, and you couldn’t take the risk.

So, you kept it to yourself.

Times went by while both of you went on with your cute flirting and occasional hair-playing and cuddle/hug and scenting game. You knew you should have stopped scenting him back, you didn’t want to get in between him and his potential mate, since he’d been seeing other women sometimes. You overheard him and Sam talking about Tinder and getting dates from there. You also saw him carrying a gorgeous blonde to his room while kissing the daylight out of her.

You wanted so badly to be her, but it was just not possible. You knew it.

Sighing to yourself, you wiggled under your thick duvet, burying your body into the bed even more. It was way too late for you to be awake, but you couldn’t sleep. Your bed was comfy, warm and you put your duvet into a position that got you looking like a burrito. You were supposed to be passed out with these beautiful conditions, but your body was too hot, you felt too itchy to go to sleep. Your heat was close. You could sense it; you were in the pre-heat phase and you had about two days until it hit you.

You growled to yourself angrily a little as you wiggled a bit more. Your head was partially under your pillow when you heard your phone ping-ing. Frowning, you stuck your hand out to grab it, seeing that you had one unread message. You opened it.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned out accidentally when you saw what it was.

It was Bucky. He was shirtless and had his dog tags on. He was holding a cup in his big hands. All the muscles and veins were visible and bulging. He had a flirtatious look on his face. He seemed to wearing thin basketball shorts under, but they did very little to hide whatever he was… hiding there.

“Shit,” you whimpered. Your face was heating up rapidly. You felt your body was ready to burst, explode, whatever. Your heart was beating in your mouth. You could feel your pussy getting wet and even throb a little. You swallowed the spit that collected in your mouth when you heard another ping.

ah, shit, sorry, doll. i meant to send that to someone else.

Well, you thought and sighed.

“It’s not fair,” you whined and inched down on your bed, your legs spreading themselves instinctively. You bit your lip. You could finally make a move and say something suggestive, or you could just… chicken out. “Fuck him,” you muttered. “Fuck him sideways.” Your phone ping-ed again.

how is it look, though? i’m not sure about sending it rn

i think i’m chickening out

You rolled your eyes as his texts. Of course he didn’t like the picture where he looked so fucking sexy.

no, you look good, you texted him back. you look damn good, actually. idk why you’re chickening out. You saw the three dots that were inclining that he was writing and waited.

i dunno, he sent. she’s real nice, ya know. i don’t wanna fuck up

“Fuck whoever she is,” you whispered. “Fuck her if she thinks you’re fucking up when you send her a picture like this.”

why would sending a shirtless pic make you fuck up anyways?

she might think i’m a bit forward? idk honey i really care about her and i don’t want her to think i’m only talking to her bc i wanna fuck her ‘til she passes out.

“What the fuck,” you whispered again, your eyes narrowing and scent turning into its sickly sweet self by the half-dirty talk. Bucky never said anything to you like this before. You shared almost everything, but when the subject was sex Bucky was always a bit shy. Now, though, he didn’t sound shy. “I shouldn’t find this sexy.”

well, i don’t think she’ll have a problem with that, pal. esp with that pic

hell no

The three dots appeared again.

so you’re saying that she’ll know that my only purpose isn’t fucking her through her mattress?

i mean i know this isn’t a dick pic but still

You shake your head fondly. Even when he was trying to sext with a woman, he was being a gentleman. You liked that about him. He was always thinking how the other person would feel if his actions were to get misunderstood. It was cute.

you’re cute, you sent. she’ll understand.

Dots appeared but disappeared a second later. It repeated itself for a couple time before it totally vanished. You frowned but didn’t think too much about it. There really wasn’t much he could say to your last text, you thought. Maybe he finally sent the picture to the person who should have received it in the first place.

You took a deep breath as you looked at the picture again.

God, he was so handsome. He recently had a haircut, and it looked very good on him. He had faint stubble. When you first looked at the picture, you thought he had a flirtatious look, but actually he was just adorable. He was caught in mid-wink, you thought. His flesh hand was dwarfing the big navy colored mug he had in his hand. You knew that mug, you bought him that as a birthday gift, and it was a very big one. You never noticed how big his hands were before, but now that you knew, it was going to be hard to take your eyes away from them.

“Ugh,” you grunted, feeling the itchy sensation increasing. “Fuck me.” Locking your phone, you dropped it on your night stand. You were wet and horny, but you didn’t have any energy to touch yourself. So, you just hugged your pillow and closed your eyes.

──

The morning found you pouring yourself a cereal with still sleepy eyes. The sun was shining brightly, the kitchen was quiet and it seemed like you were the only living creature in the tower. You yawned as you put the cereal box down and poured some milk into your bowl. You perched yourself onto the chair by the kitchen island and dug into your cereal.

You had… vivid dreams last night. It included a pair of hands touching your naked skin, blur of colors and some moaning. You vaguely remembered that there were hushed whispers of a little dirty talk, but the details blurred as soon as you woke up.

That meant you were even achier than last night. You grunted into your cereal.

“Hey,” you heard someone murmur and jumped, it was Bucky. He looked like he just came back from a run. “Shit, sorry,” Bucky muttered. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” You shrugged as you slurped the last of your cereal. With the corner of your eyes, you saw his nostrils flare and realized he was scenting the air. “Y’alright, doll?”

“Mmhm, just achy,” you murmured and carried your bowl to the sink. Bucky stayed silent and watched you washing your bowl and rolling your shoulders a couple times. He could smell your scent; it was content but somehow… off. He also knew your heat was close. Your scent was too sweet albeit being a little off, it was like he just stepped into a bakery and got hit with freshly baked goods. It was mouthwatering. Eyes narrowing, Bucky murmured a silent ‘fuck it’ to himself, he stepped behind you.

“You seem awfully tense, honey,” Bucky muttered into your ear as he pressed his body to yours. “Couldn’t sleep well?” You tensed. You could feel the heat coming off of his body, could smell his clean sweat, cologne and his own musk; it was woody and fresh: like a bonfire in the middle of a forest. More importantly, you could feel all the muscles and ridges on his body against yours.

“Somethin’ like that,” you whispered. Bucky cooed at you softly. His arms wound themselves around your waist, pulling you in and making you rest your body against his. His scent surrounded you in a second, and you felt like you were being cocooned in your bed by your soft blankets.

“Breathe with me, love,” he murmured. “It will help you loosen up.” You swallowed and nodded. Feeling his chest moving behind you, you followed his movements. “That’s it,” he said, “You’re doing great.” You breathed in, in, and in and then let it ouuuut. You felt your shoulder relax a bit. “That’s it,” he whispered and─

His lips were right over your pulse. His stubble was rubbing the sensitive flesh of your neck. You shuddered uncontrollably. Bucky hushed you as his lips brushed against your skin. His hot breath was licking your neck, making the hair on your body rise. He nosed your glands there; taking lungful of your scent, Bucky grumbled to himself about how good you smell.

With a small grunt of his, he took a step forward and cornered you against the counter. You gasped.

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed, “You are tense, honey.” His lips found your jaw, his nose poked your temple and you shuddered again.

It felt like you were underwater but weren’t drowning; everything was peaceful quiet, and you were floating.

“Bucky,” you whispered. He hummed. “Bucky…” He kissed your neck, bit down on the flesh and sucked it a little. You felt your legs tremble when you felt your heat creeping in even closer and grabbed his arms around your waist for support. You tipped your head back, exposing your throat to him, and closed your eyes.

Placing kisses all over your neck, nibbling on your jaw, one of his hands grabbed your face to turn it towards him. “Tell me you don’t want it, and I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop.” You didn’t say anything but leaned into his touch. “Tell me.”

“I want it,” you whispered, surpassing a shiver. Your heat was taking over your body, and Bucky needed the verbal confirmation before it consumed you.

“Honey,” he said softly. “Your heat is starting, do you want me to help you?” You gasped silently, realizing that you were feeling woozy a little and your vision was fuzzy around the edges, now.

“Yes,” you answered him. “Please, alpha?”

Bucky’s chest rumbled lightly with approval and captured your lips with his. You moaned into his mouth. It was as soft as it looked and was caressing yours so nicely. You whimpered as you sneaked your hand into his slightly damp hair. You craned your neck to deepen the kiss, letting your tongue join the game, too. Bucky groaned.

“Fuck, love,” he whimpered. “Your skin feels so soft under my hands, your body is so warm… Mmm, I wanna eat you right up.” You wiggled in his arms.

“Please,” you whispered. Bucky bit down on your bottom lip. His other hand sneaked into your pajama bottoms, sliding right into your panties and nudging your clit gently. You gasped loudly as Bucky cursed.

“Holy shit, honey,” Bucky groaned. “You’re wetting your pajama bottoms with your slick.” You whimpered when you felt one long digit swiping the slick that gathered between the lips of your pussy. “Is it for me?” He asked, a low growl could be heard in his voice. You nodded. Bucky tugged on your hair. “Words. Use’em.”

“Yes!” You cried out. “Yes, only for you, Bucky, yes!”

“That’s more like it,” Bucky murmured and slid two of his fingers inside you. Biting your lip to stop yourself moan loudly, your hand tightened in Bucky’s hair and you bared your throat to Bucky by the throwing your head back even more, submitting him.

The way Bucky was fingering you was relentless; two of his long and thick fingers were stroking your wet walls, crooking them to graze over your sensitive spot sometimes while the heel of his hand was pressing down on your clit. You were being stimulated from almost all your open ended nerves so perfectly, you wanted to cry.

“I wish you see how you look right now, baby,” Bucky whispered. “You’re so deep into your pleasure...” You hummed and let out a gasp when he crooked his fingers again. “You take my fingers so nicely. My hand is drenched, baby, goddamn.” He nosed your bared throat, taking deep breaths, Bucky filled his lungs with your sweet heat scent. “Gotta get you to your room, love. The whole kitchen is gonna smell like your heat if we don’t.” You whined, but you weren’t lost in your head yet, so you knew he was right. You nodded. Bucky kissed your neck and suddenly, your world was upside down.

You were thrown over his shoulder like he was a caveman and you were his prey. “Bucky!” He chuckled, his metal hand slapping your ass, he stepped into the elevator and told Jarvis to go up to your floor. He carried you like that throughout the whole trip. You got to feel his back muscles all the way to your room, though, so you thought it wasn’t so bad.

Bucky dropped you on the floor gently. You were standing right in front of your room. “I can wait here,” Bucky murmured and continued when he saw your confused look. “While you are getting nest sorted out, I can wait here.”

Your heart swelled in your chest because ain’t he the most thoughtful.

“Aww, James,” you whispered. He just smiled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Really?” He nodded. You knew he took these kinds of things serious because he was a bit old-school, but you liked that about him very much.

“Yeah,” he said. “Actually, why don’t you go ahead and sort your nest out while I get us some water and snacks?” You placed your hand on your heart.

“A man after my stomach,” you said dreamily, making him snort. “Okay.” He kissed your neck one more time and walked back to the elevator.

You had a spring on your step as you walked inside of your room and stripping the bed from unnecessary things. You pulled out your softest linens, blankets and pillows; arranging them on the bed the way you liked, you added some extra tiny pillows. It looked inviting, personal and smelled like you strongly. You smiled, pleased with your efforts. Just as you sat down on the bed in your underwear, you had kept your oversize t-shirt though, you heard a knock.

“Come in!” You called out and saw Bucky’s smiling, handsome face. He had arms full of snacks and water bottles, he also had other things which you couldn’t figure out what. You watched him as he put the things he carried into your room on your small desk.

“I, uh,” he started, suddenly looking bashful. “I thought you might want, uh,” Bucky stammered over his words and just handed you something.

It was his blanket from his bed and the sweatshirt you saw him wearing yesterday.

“I can always put them aside or bring more, whatever you want,” Bucky hurriedly added. You shook your head as you reached and took them from him. You folded the sweatshirt and put it right next to your bed where you would be reaching something to wear after you were through, and spread the blanket on your bed, rearranging your pillows. You took your t-shirt off before you turned and faced with Bucky.

You walked up to him slowly until you were standing right in front of him. You could see his nostrils flaring, pupils dilating and him scenting the air. “Kiss me, alpha?” Bucky let out a broken sound before he pulled you against his body, his flesh hand cradling your face gently, and leaned down to give you the kiss that you asked for so nicely.

It was, hands down, the most loving and gentle kiss you’ve ever had. It was nothing like the kiss you’ve shared in the kitchen. This one was chaste. Bucky’s lips were soft, and he was kissing you like a longtime lover. Moaning lightly, you tilted your head to your side and deepened the kiss a bit; pushing up on your tiptoes and winding your arms around his neck, you felt his arms wrapping themselves around your waist one more time.

You felt amazingly consumed and caged and overwhelmed, and you were fucking loving it.

Bucky pulled back slightly. “Bed,” he commanded. His voice was rough and low. His woodsy, fresh smell had taken a sharp turn and now it was more like burning wood and citrus. You loved how forest-y his scent was. You quickly climbed on the bed, and a second later Bucky joined you.

His big body caged yours under him. The body heat this man had was driving you crazy because he was so fucking warm, it made you want to wrap yourself around him like a koala and never let go.

“Bucky…” You breathed when you felt his teeth grazing over the sensitive skin of your neck, gasped when he placed a soft bite there. His light stubble was rubbing your skin raw, but you were loving it just like everything else. You felt him press his body against yours fully as he drew in a deep breath.

“God, your scent is drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy,” he murmured and kissed his way downwards. He stopped when he came across to your bra, looking up in your eyes, he silently asked for permission to take it off. You nodded. As soon as your breasts were free from their containment, Bucky latched on to one of your nipples, making you throw your head back and moan loudly.

“Fuck!” You yelped when he bit down and sucked and did… things with his tongue. He was licking and sucking, his saliva had covered your nipple and you could hear the slurping sound. It was so sexy, the pleasure was so intense; you felt like you were about to come. Whimpering, you slid your hands in his short hair, pulling and scratching his scalp. Bucky hummed. The vibrations and the graze of his teeth made you hiss, your body was trashing beneath his strong one.

Bucky pulled back with a ‘pop’, licking his lips, his fingers toyed with your other nipple. “How are you feelin’, love?” He asked. You panted lightly as you gave him thumbs up but yelped again when he pinched your nipple. “Words,” he growled. “I told you to use them.”

“’m good,” you whimpered, nipple throbbing deliciously. “’m good, I swear, ‘m fine, alpha.” Bucky hummed at the name. He always liked being called ‘alpha’ during sex before, he was never shy to tell his partners to call him that when he wanted to end his dancing night with someone, but hearing you call him that was turning him on in a whole different level.

Growling approvingly to himself, Bucky’s fingers found the hem of your panties. Before he could ask for permission, you lifted your hips to help him remove them easily. Bucky took a hold of the flimsy fabric, quickly dragging it down your beautiful legs, he threw them somewhere in the room. You were now under him with all your naked fucking glory, and Bucky’s mouth was watering at the sight of you. His gums were hurting with the desire to claim and mark you.

“You are gorgeous, baby,” Bucky murmured, fingers trailing over your soft skin and making you shiver happily. He leaned in. His light stubble rasped against your nipple as he nosed your collarbone, licking and sucking small marks there. You sighed. Your hands were buried deep in his short hair, the fluffiness of it turning into a messy state. “You feel so good against me,” he murmured again, lips brushing over the sensitive skin of your breasts. You whimpered. The ache between your legs was getting intolerable with each passing second, and you wanted him to take you already.

“Bucky…” You breathed. “Please, Bucky, alpha, I-I can’t, it h-hurts,” you babbled, hands now clawing his strong and wide shoulders. Quickly, Bucky shushed you with kisses, murmured filthy nonsense into your ear as he trailed one hand down your front. You gasped when his fingers brushed against your clit. It was already so sensitive and throbbing and aching─

“So wet,” Bucky whispered. “I’m gonna taste it later.” He brushed his fingers up and down for a couple times and pulled his hand back. “Now, we make your hurting stop, love.” You nodded. Your eyes were half-closed, you looked debauched without Bucky doing anything properly yet, and more importantly you looked drunk with only a couple kisses and touching from him.

If that ain’t the best kind of ego boost, I don’t know what is, Bucky thought to himself as he bit his lip and removed his clothes. Your sweet heat scent was filling his lungs and the room, and making him feel lightheaded. His skin was prickling with the intensity of your scent. He knew very well no matter how many times he’d shower that he would be smelling like you even days after your heat ended. Honestly, that would be a dream come true for Bucky.

His crush on you was getting stronger rather than dying down. He had tried dating with other people, hooking up or just spend his rut with at least a partner, but he just couldn’t because his body was yearning yours. His lungs were desperate for your sweet, calming scent filling them, his fingers were itching to feel your skin, and his lips were tingling to meet with yours… His whole body had been wanting you, no one else had made him feel this way before.

“God, Y/N,” Bucky breathed. His eyes were now fully black, face darkened with lust and his body heat had increased. He was about to enter his rut, he knew it. Bucky leaned forward and licked a fat line from your collarbone to all the way up to your ear, making your bonding glands throb. You gasped at the feeling.

“Fuck, Bucky!” You sighed, eyes screwed shut. Bucky hummed. His fingers moved south, were quick to find your dripping and aching core, he slipped two of his fingers in you. You moaned. His fingers were moving in and out of you rapidly, thumb pressing lightly on your clit. He could feel the poor thing throb beneath his fingertip, Bucky chuckled against your throat and nipped the skin there. You moaned one more time, but louder, your nails dug them deep into Bucky’s meaty shoulders. Bucky hissed at the slight pain, but all the pain during sex was welcomed in his book.

Bucky pulled his fingers out and pushed off of you, ignoring your little whines. “Present,” he ordered, his voice was still soft even though his commanding tone. Whimpering, you flipped onto your tummy, pressed your chest against the soft linens beneath you and lifted your ass high up on the air. Bucky groaned. “Damn, kitten,” he whispered. You shivered. He placed his hands on your ass, and then moved them up, up, up and slid one of them into your hair. “Do I need a condom?” You nodded.

“Birth control is no good for me,” you panted lightly. Bucky nodded, pressing a kiss on your cheek, he leaned sideways to grab a condom from his bedside drawer. You rubbed your face, wiggled your hips and fisted the bedding as Bucky put on the condom. As soon as he was done, he walked closer to you on his knees and immediately draped his body onto yours. You sighed at the skin-to-skin contact.

“Tell me if you want to or need me to stop because you don’t like what we’re doing, alright?” Bucky murmured. You nodded.

“I will,” you slurred slightly and earned another kiss on your cheek. You hummed happily. You felt the blunt tip of his cock against your wet folds and held your breath. With a smooth, slow thrust of his hips, Bucky slid into you. “Fuuuck,” you sighed, eyes closed and mouth open, drooling just a little bit. The ache in your core was disappeared as soon as Bucky filled you up.

“Goddamn,” Bucky gritted. Your pussy was hugging his hard as hell cock so nicely, Bucky felt like he was being wrapped with the softest blankets to ever exist. Falling onto his elbows, Bucky placed kisses on your bare shoulders. He moved his arms carefully and wrapped them around your torso. One of his hands was wrapped lightly around your neck, and you felt another flame taking over your body with the feeling.

“Move,” you whispered. “Alpha, please, move.” Bucky shushed you gently. Never stopping peppering kisses on your shoulder, neck and cheek, Bucky moved his hips slowly at first. You gasped, head thrown back on Bucky’s shoulder, you closed your eyes.

Your mind was fogged, body wrung tight with sexual frustration and the coil in your belly was burning hotter each passing second. You could feel your heat taking over your body. Bucky’s strong scent was covered with the traces of faint rut, and his scent was clogging up all your senses.

It felt magnificent.

“Alpha,” you moaned when his cock touched a spot in you, your body suddenly waking up. Bucky grunted. His rut was making him a little non-verbal, but he was okay with it. “Faster,” you whimpered. “Faster, harder, alpha, fuck!” The breath knocked out of your lungs with Bucky’s hard thrust.

Grunting and rumbling deep in his chest, Bucky started slamming into you. Your slick was now covering his inner thighs and groin, making these obscene sounds to echo in your room and your skin to stuck each other whenever Bucky’s pelvis kissed yours. You whimpered. Your body was both loosening up and tightening even more as Bucky’s thrusts became harder and deeper. Your body was melting under his, muscles were getting lax because of the rut scent and soft rumbles Bucky was occasionally letting out.

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed, nose poking your bonding glands. “You smell so good, omega,” he murmured, and you shuddered under him. Bucky chuckled darkly. His hot breath licked over your pulse. His short fangs grazed over the sensitive skin, tongue poking out to lick and suck as his pace turned into even something more feral. The sound of skin slapping skin was so loud, you were deafened by it.

You whimpered when you felt his teeth again. You had no fear of Bucky mating you, you knew him enough to know that he wouldn’t do that, but feeling him dragging his fangs up and down like that on your bonding glands was incredibly turning you on. You grabbed onto his arms when he slightly straightened up so that he could drive in you deeper.

“Shit,” you gasped. Bucky growled. His arms around your neck tightened its hold a bit, enough to make you feel every drag of oxygen. “Fuck, Bucky─” His cock was driving in and out of you at a mad pace, balls slapping against your clit and obscene sounds of your wet pussy was driving you even crazier.

With a snarl, Bucky pulled you up against him, flipping you on your back in a matter of seconds. When he slid into your once again, you felt the bulge of his knot at the base of his cock. You gasped, looking down, your mouth hung open on its own. Bucky chuckled.

“That mouth of yours is hungry, ain’t it?” He asked, a filthy smirk on his face. You tried to swallow the spit, but he didn’t let you. He stuffed three of his metal fingers into your mouth. “Suck on’em, honey,” he ordered lovingly. You moaned as you did what you were being told and felt his pace falter for a second. “Fuck.” You hummed around his fingers. His rut scent getting stronger, covering your body, your bed and leaving its mark deep into your bones, you felt like a cat under the sun.

Bucky placed his flesh hand on your pussy. His hips were moving with a rapid pace, your fluids were mixing with his. His thumb found your clit and started to play with it. You cried out. your back arching, you moaned around his fingers, your pussy tightening on his cock. Bucky gasped and grunted. His balls were hurting because of how full they were.

“Come for me,” he whispered. “Fuckin’ come for me, omega,” his harsh whispering voice commanded. You felt your eyes roll back as the pleasure and blinding orgasm took over your body. Bucky cursed as he felt your mouth watering even more around his fingers, pussy walls clamping on his cock and knot. Gasping, Bucky leaned in and pulled his fingers out your mouth so that he could kiss you. Bucky was so close, so fucking close─

“Mmm,” you hummed into his kiss. “C’me f’r me, alpha,” you murmured, placing sloppy kisses on his mouth. “C’mon, breed me, fill me up, make a mess─”

Groaning loudly, Bucky slammed forward one last time before he felt his knot popped. His balls seized so hard, Bucky let out a wounded sound. You shushed him. Placing your hands on his face, you kissed him. He sighed into the kiss as he thrusted in and out of you slowly, fucking his come deeper into you.

“Fuck, honey,” Bucky breathed out when the intense part of his orgasm washed away. You smiled, kissing him again. Bucky kissed you back soundly. “Damn, I’ve never come that hard before,” he said, chuckling.

“Good,” you said. Your scent flaring up with smugness, Bucky laughed.

“Yeah, alright, you’re possessive,” he said with a smile on his face. You felt your cheeks heat up and ducked your head. Bucky continued to smile but couldn’t stop himself from leaning down for another kiss.

After a couple minutes of lazy make-out, Bucky carefully re-arranged your positions so that he could cuddle you without crushing you. You lay like that in silence, feeling content. Your heat and his rut had diminished for the time being, giving you some time to recover. You were playing with his metal hand when the thought struck you.

“Hey,” you murmured, and Bucky hummed as an answer. “What did she say?” You asked him. He made a confused sound.

“Who? About what?”

“You sent me a picture last night and said you were chickening out because she was real nice and you don’t wanna fuck it up,” you explained, a little bit jealousy slipping into your scent. “Did you send her the picture? What did she say?” You felt him freeze momentarily, but then he let out a small chuckle.

“I sent it, yes,” he said. “She said that I look damn good and that I can’t fuck this thing up, not with that picture, and that I’m cute and she’ll understand why I sent it.”

You froze.

“It was intentional,” you murmured. Bucky hummed in approval, kissing your shoulder and tightening his arms around you. “You asshole,” you shrieked, hitting his arm. “You could have just come to me!” Bucky laughed as you hit him again.

“I’m sorry!” He said. “I actually didn’t mean to send you that picture, I swear. I hit send accidentally, but I also said ‘might as well’ afterwards, so,” he murmured, shrugging.

“God, I can’t believe this,” you grumbled. Bucky nuzzled your neck. “I couldn’t sleep last night because of that picture,” you admitted.

Bucky frowned. “Why?”

“I was horny, Bucky,” you said. Bucky let out a loud laugh.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured, but you knew he wasn’t sorry at all.

“No, you’re not,” you rolled your eyes, pouting at the same time.

“No, I’m not,” he agreed, slowly moving on top of you. “I can make it up, though…” Kissing your cheek, he poked your nose with his playfully. “You said you were horny, right? How about I do something about that?” You smirked.

“I’m in heat, Barnes,” you said. “You better make it up to me.” Bucky smirked right back at you.

“Your wish is my command, m’Queen,” he said, sweeping you into a passionate kiss.

──

tell me what you think please!!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #avenger!bucky barnes x reader #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #alpha bucky barnes #a/b/o dynamics #intentional

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wkemeup · 5 years

Text

A New Start

summary: Woken from a nightmare plagued with memories from his time in Hydra, Bucky finds himself standing at a mirror at 3am holding a pair of scissors, determined to cut away the strongest connection he has left to that time. His hair.

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 3.2k

warnings: mild torture/humiliation (in the nightmare), PTSD

authors’s note: so clearly I saw the new falcon and winter soldier poster 😅and I am # team short hair Bucky because cutting his hair is symbolic AF !! I wrote this in like an hour and idk if its any good but I was inspired by a text post so... here we are lol. do you guys have thoughts??

The soldier didn’t know his own name.

He didn’t know memories from stories or his mother’s face or where he came from. He didn’t know how he got here or if this was all he ever was, if maybe he was something else before the mask and the silver arm and the rifle they shoved into his hand.

He only knew Hydra.

He knew the cold, dark room they kept him in, and he knew the coffin they’d shove him inside where the air crystalized around him until he was ice and he lost years under.

He had no memories of something kinder to draw on when his handler of the week would walk through the door of his cell carrying a weapon in effort to assert dominance. He was prepared for the beatings, knew they were coming because it was what every handler did, each with a need to prove that they could control the soldier. It bolstered their ego to believe the soldier submitted to them willingly, like it was because of their emboldened strength that he followed orders and not because of the punishments that followed if he didn’t.

This time as the door opened, it was a man he recognized. He couldn’t remember much beyond the long baton the handler kept gripped tight in his right hand and the electric shock that sparked on the end when he’d press the silver button. He’d used it on the soldier twice before when he failed to complete his mission. What the mission was, he couldn’t remember. He only remembered the sharp sting of the electric current and the violent spasms in his muscles. He remembered pain.

The man crossed the room, stalking his prey, and the soldier tried to keep steady. He knew better than to stand. That intimidated the handlers. It gave them a reason to fear him, reason to punish him. So, he stayed on the ground, kneeling, because he’d learned to make himself small. They liked it when he was afraid.

“I’ve got an assignment for you,” the man growled, thick German accent and a slur of his lips. The soldier smelled alcohol and wondered if this man was meant to be in his room at all. From the door, he spotted two men stumbling in, holding onto the wall for support and laughing amongst themselves. One carried a brown bottle in his hand.

A boot was stuck out in front of the soldier’s face and he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Kiss it,” the handler taunted, a sickening smirk curling up on his lips.

The soldier didn’t move for a moment, just staring at the shoe before slowly drawing his eyes back up to the handler. The man’s cheeks were flushed red, his lids drooping lazily over his eyes as he turned back to his friends with a hearty laugh echoing the room.

The soldier didn’t have many memories to draw on, but he knew humiliation when he felt it. He recognized the sharp ache in his stomach and the heat in his face. He knew these men were off the clock and they saw an opportunity to assert their power over the soldier because they knew as well as he that he wouldn’t retaliate, that he had no choice but to comply so they could do with him as they pleased.

Slowly, the soldier leaned forward, closer to the shoe and giving into this man’s demands to in hopes to avoid whatever punishment he had in mind if he didn’t, but then suddenly, a wicked burn on the side of his face stung out as the boot collided into his cheek.

The soldier fell to the concrete, his hair shielding over his eyes as he gripped at his face. He’d had worse before, but this stung no less. He could already feel the welt forming, the area sensitive to the touch. The laughter in the background as he pushed himself back up to his knees made his stomach twist into knots.

“Look at that! He’d back for more!”

“Do it again, Wagner!”

“Teach ‘em a lesson!”

The soldier remained still. His hair fell into his eyes as he bowed his head, a layer of protection for only a moment before harsh hands gripped into it so tightly he felt pieces rip from his scalp. One of the men shoved him around to the ground, holding him by his hair as another kicked at his ribs. The baton filled with electric current plunged into his ribs and he screamed.

His voice was raw and rough with lack of use and it only spurred on the drunken laugher. He fought enough to put on a show, to give his body some reprieve from the pain of lying still and taking it, but he was keen enough to avoid using the full of his strength.

The soldier could have taken all three men down without much of an effort but he knew the consequences he’d face when others found out. So, he let them yank on his hair and kick at his ribs and pour beer on his face, because it was better than the chair, better than Hydra taking away the little memories he had built since the last time he’d been stuffed into the coffin of ice.

It wasn’t the first night it happened and the men came back for more again and again.

Some days a hand would curl into his hair and hold his head back as they poured bottles of vodka down his throat. He’d choke on it as he spilled over his lips, tears in his eyes as it burned on the way down and ran up his nose.

Other days, they’d dump their bottles onto him and his hair would reek of stale beer for days until the smell became so bad, one of the scientists finally allowed him a few minutes to shower. Even then, he couldn’t scrap the filth from his scalp.

The worst was when they came into the room carrying weapons and tools just to experiment on which instrument made him scream the loudest. They tied him down on those days.

The soldier was mostly thankful for his absence of memories. He didn’t know how long this had been going on or if the first night he remembered the drunk men stumbling their way into his cell was the first time it happened. They became a blur and he could feel the sharp tug on his scalp whenever he thought of it. Hands gripping harshly into his hair; dirty and falling into his eyes.

He ran his fingers through the strands to find them unpleasant to the touch. Thick and greasy and smelling of the last bottle of alcohol the men dumped on him. He revolted at the touch. He was about to close his eyes in hope of sleep when the door opened again.

Three men entered.

***

Bucky woke to sweat dripping down his back and harsh breathes shoving their way from his lungs. Hand scrambling over the side of the bed towards the nightstand, he gripped onto the alarm clock to find it was nearing three in the morning.

He sat up quickly, trying to catch his breath and letting the sheets drape around his waist, the bare of his chest exposed to the cool air of his bedroom. A breeze came in from the window and swept a shiver up his spine.

Slight movement on his right accompanied by a familiar, gentle hum and Bucky looked down to find you sleeping soundly next to him. You curled your hands under the pillows, nose scrunching as you adjusted your position and Bucky smiled softly. He ran a hand down your spine, reveling in the way you seemed to draw closer to him, seeking his embrace, even in your sleep. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead before gathering a deep breath and heading to the kitchen.

It wasn’t a plan he though out very well but it was one he thought of most nights he woke from memories of his time in Hydra. He rummaged through the kitchen drawers until he found what he was looking for.

Searching through piles of saved ketchup packets, junk mail, coupons, and three different wine openers, his hand finally curled around a pair of scissors thrown in amongst a series of misplaced utensils. The silver reflected off the pale light of the moon outside as he studied them. He ran a finger down the side to find they weren’t as sharp as he’d like, but they’d do.

He wasn’t going for something intricate.

He just needed it off.

Bucky made his way back into his room to find you still asleep on the bed. He’d gotten better about waking from his nightmares like they were harmless dreams. There was no more screaming, no more violent thrashing, no more accidentally hurting you when he couldn’t get a grip on where he was, even with his eyes open.

It meant you slept through the night these days. He’d tell you in the morning when the nightmares came to him and you’d kiss his shoulder and whisper sweet apologies in his ear, telling him you’d wished his woken you. He’d smile at that and say he felt better knowing you were there with him and he didn’t want to bother you. You’d argue with him, trying to convince him again and again that he was never a burden to you, and it would end in a kiss that made Bucky’s heart swell until the next time when it happened again.

Clicking on the light in the bathroom, Bucky carefully closed the door, leaving it open just an inch so he could listen for you. He wasn’t the only one who got nightmares, after all.

He set the scissors on the sink, hands gripping onto the edge of the counter as he felt his heart start to pick up in pace again. With a cautious breath, Bucky slowly lifted his head to face himself in the reflection of the mirror. It wasn’t something he did often, didn’t exactly like staring into the face of a man who had caused so much pain to people whose faces haunted him in his sleep.

He didn’t look like himself, not that he had a great idea of what he was supposed to look like anyway.

Steve had shown him photographs and he’d seen the images in the Smithsonian, but even the man in those pictures looked like a stranger to him. This hair that shielded down around his face, while it was clean and soft and flowing down in waves, tied him to a time he saw too often in his nightmares.

He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back, and it was smooth under his fingers. It wasn’t like how it had been under Hydra, he reminded himself. He had tried to distance himself from what Hydra made him to be, tried to take ownership of what had simply become Hydra’s negligence of the soldier, but every time he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he only saw the soldier.

You’d told him countless times that you loved his hair. It gave you something to run your fingers through on movies nights and play with when you were bored. You liked how it pulled it up into a bun and how easy it was to grip when he caged himself between your thighs. Truthfully, he only liked his hair when it was your fingers combing through it.

Bucky took a deep breath, clenching his jaw as his right hand curled around the scissors. He didn’t know what he looked like most of the time as the soldier. They didn’t allow him the luxury of a mirror and he supposed that was for the best.

But he could remember how dirty his hair had felt, how tangled it was at the nape of his neck, and the long chucks of hair that had knotted together and the roots caked in grease. He remembered the hair that fell into his eyes when his handlers beat him. He remembered the harsh hands that gripped at his hair to keep him still and the burn at his scalp when they’d rip pieces out in the struggle.

As he studied his reflection in the mirror, he looked over the nicks of scars along his eyebrow from the assailant he’d defeated in Brussels and the faded bruising he sustained on a mission with Sam a few days back. He watched as his hair picked up in the breeze as it filtered in through the bathroom window and flowed delicately by his shoulders. It wasn’t inherently bad and he knew you found him attractive, told him as much as many times as he could stand hearing it.

But when he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see the healthier, happier version of himself he’d grown into since joining the Avengers and falling in love with you. He saw a black mask covering over the bottom half of his face like a muzzle. He saw hands with dirt caked under the fingernails snatching at him from behind, yanking on his hair because it was enough to get a solid fist full and hold him steady while someone beat him with a baton. He saw grime and filth and Hydra.

He saw the winter soldier.

Carefully, Bucky lifted the scissors, slipping his thumb and pointer finger into the grips. He parted the blades and held to his hair, slipping a thick strand between them. Watching in the mirror, Bucky took a deep breath as he lifted the blades further up the side of his face, trying to find the right length. He’d sort out the details in the morning, maybe see if Steve had a barber down in Brooklyn who could help make sense of the mess he was about to create, but for now, this was enough.

A strand of hair fell to the floor as the blades of the scissors ran together in a satisfying snip. Bucky let out a heavy breath, already feeling hundreds of pounds lighter and he grabbed onto another strand.

He stood there for only a few minutes, cutting off pieces of his hair until he could no longer feel it on his shoulders or the base of his neck. He cut it until he didn’t sweep down into his eyes. He cut it until hands couldn’t grasp into it in fistfuls but the gentle draw of your fingers could brush through it. He cut it until a weight fell off of him heavier than the hair on his head.

When he was done, he set the scissors down on the sink. His breaths were heavier than he realized and he leaned over the counter for support. Looking up into the mirror, he realized his eyes were red, swollen, like he’d been crying. He reached up and touched his cheek to find it wet.

“Bucky?”

He froze, shoulders stiffening as he heard the bathroom door opening.

You were already slipping inside, leaning against the wall before he could find the courage to turn and face you. You could see his reflection in the mirror, see the hair scattered on the floor. You could see what he’d done. He didn’t need to turn around for that, but he felt a heat of shame press up into his cheeks.

“It’s a little late for a haircut, don’t you think?”

Your voice was light, airy, and he could hear the smile behind your words. It helped to ease the sudden anxiety he felt.

Slowly, Bucky glanced up into the mirror to find your reflection as you crossed your arms over your chest, the smile he had been imagining present on your lips. Your hair was messy from sleep, imprints of the pillow on your cheeks and Bucky almost forgot why he was cutting his hair in the first place.

“Y-yeah, I… I guess I…” he sighed, finally turning around to you and leaning against the sink, “I needed a change.”

You nodded, like you’d been expecting it and you stepped closer to him. “May I?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, unsure of what you were asking, until you grabbed the scissors on the sink. He swallowed, sitting down on the toilet seat cover and giving you the leverage to work. Your hands ran over his scalp, nails pulling shivers from his spine.

“You did pretty good, Buck. It’s almost even,” you said sweetly as you clipped a few pieces on the back of his head.

He sighed, closing his eyes and memorizing the feeling of your hands in his hair.

After a few minutes, you set the scissors back down on the sink and kneeled down in front of him. Bucky opened his eyes again as he felt your hands tracing patterns on his thighs, the soft curl of your nails raking along the thin fabric of his sweats. He was met with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen, but he always thought that when he looked at you.

“I’m really proud of you sweetheart,” you said as you ran your hand through his hair, short strands and still just as soft but hundreds of pounds lighter, a lifetime lighter.

“Do you like it?” he asked nervously, almost embarrassed.

You leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips. “Bucky, you will always be the most handsome man in the room to me, no matter what you do with your hair. I want to know if you like it.”

He paused, carefully reaching up to run his fingers through it. It felt odd, like something was missing that should be there as his hand naturally searched for the long strands, but it was freeing.

“It’s different, but,” he sighed, nodding as a gentle smile tugged on his lips, “feels like a new start.”

“I can show you how to style it differently than you did in the forties,” you offered and Bucky’s heart just about melted. You knew better than most how hard it has been to find his own identity not only outside of the winter soldier but also the man that Steve knew. “You used to part it to the side, right? We can try just pushing it back? I know Scott and Clint have some pomade you could borrow. Or--”

“Why don’t we worry about that in the morning?” Bucky smiled, standing and pulling you up with him. You giggled softly as he lifted you into his arms, stepping over the clumps of hair on the floor he’d take care of later, and carried you over the bed.

Your fingers snaked up into his hair, playing with the short strands at the nape of his neck and brushing out the loose pieces of hair. You kissed his cheek as he lowered you to the bed and hovered over you for a moment, just taking a moment to remind himself of where he was, that even in the worst of his nightmares he woke up grateful that it all led him to you.

“Get some rest, love,” Bucky whispered, kissing you sweetly before crawling over to his side of the bed.

As he closed his eyes, he felt your fingers brushing along his hair, pushing it back and trailing down the sides of his face and swirling your fingers around the hairs at the base of his scalp. When sleep pulled him under again, he was met with warm smiles and new beginnings, dreams of who he could be, and who he was becoming.

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #reader insert #my writing #bucky fic #bucky barnes x female reader #fatws #i have THOUGHTS on buckys hair!!!

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