#idk i feel like this is more common for older people in fandom spaces | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pynkhues · 11 months

Note

Hey, really love your succession meta, I hope this is welcome in your ask box. Idk if this is something you talked about already, but there is this persuasive assumption in the general fandom space that roman was the only kid who suffered physical abuse ever that in my opinion isnt really supported in the text/subtext. The way the past abuse of all the roys is talked about, to me, always implied a wealth of countless, other traumatic experiences that are simply not talked about and may very well be physical abuse. To me it feels like it was set up this way to fire up the viewers imagination and illustrate the sheer, unspeakable magnitude of the abuse. I just cant see Logan never losing his temper and getting physical with the other sibs but I struggle to put into words why. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think Rome was the only kid facing physical abuse? Youre always so eloquent in your analysis and demonstrate a complex understanding of dv dynamics. I appreciate your work :)

Hey! Thank you for your kind words, anon, and it’s definitely welcome in my inbox!

Yeah, I’ve noticed that assumption about Roman a lot too, and it’s not one I personally agree with, although I do understand why people make it. Roman is, after all, the only one of the four children that the show explicitly depicts receiving physical abuse, and he’s the only one who really has his abuse talked about by the other children (interestingly, on both occasions Roman’s abuse is actually weaponised against other characters, not against Roman. Kendall uses it as a way to try and hurt their father in 4.02, and Shiv uses it as a way to say that Kendall deserves greater punishment from their father than he’s receiving in 2.01).

I actually would say that we’ve had pretty explicit evidence that Kendall received physical abuse too, namely in the way that Logan came at him at Connor’s ranch after Kendall’s relapse in 1.07 (especially because I’d argue Kendall was doing in that scene what Roman has done a few times now by seeking out the hit, and the reason Logan held off was less about not wanting to, and more that he punishes his children by not giving them what they want), and in Logan hitting Iverson with the tin of cranberries in 1.05. I talked about the latter in this post, but I’ve always read the blocking of Kendall behind Iverson as a way of having a flashback without having a flashback, and the way that the episode ties Kendall and Iverson’s experiences as the same I think underscores that.

(It’s hard to comment on this particular point without seeing the scripts, but Arian Moayed has said in an interview too that the script for 4.04 had Stewy say that he’d seen Logan through a shoe at Kendall which I do think is likely meant to echo what Shiv says about Logan beating Roman with a shoe in 2.01 too, but given the scene was condensed, I’ll leave it out as canonical evidence at this point).

As for Shiv and Connor, yeah, I do think there was physical abuse for both of them as well, and I think it was probably fairly common for Connor when he was very young, and probably infrequent enough for Shiv for her to push it down (honestly though, given her character, I wouldn’t even be surprised if a part of her re-wrote it in her head as a positive after the fact. Getting hit means, after all, that she’s one of the boys).

So it does beg the question of why Roman’s abuse is easier for them all to acknowledge. I have a few theories about that, but ultimately, I think it comes down to an adolescent othering of Roman by Shiv and Kendall, and all four of their relative proximity to each other in their formative years.

Alan Ruck has said that Connor’s about fifteen years older than Kendall which puts him in a unique situation growing up where I imagine there’s a lot about his childhood through to his young adulthood that the Golden Trio simply don’t know due to the age gap. They obviously know bits and pieces – what happened to Connor’s mother for instance, Logan’s temporary abandonment, and the situation with the cake – but I’d generally say that those are life events that scaffold a childhood, they don’t provide the detail of it.

The child desertion that came with Logan’s temporary abandonment too would also have been extremely formative to Connor as a character. We don’t know when this was (although I do have my own theories on that too), but it would’ve fundamentally changed any existing dynamic between Connor and Logan, and I think we see that quite clearly in the man Connor is. His people pleasing, his co-dependency, his need to control the terms of his relationships (notable in the entire context of his relationship with Willa), his fear of rejection, and his fawn response to certain situations are all symptomatic of childhood abandonment. I imagine a lot of that started after Logan’s desertion, but then likely were compounded with Logan’s re-entry into his life, and I think that grew into his sort of subservience and performed affability which was likely inherently tied to the fear of being abandoned again.

In that sense, I think there was probably less physical abuse with Connor as he got older because he learnt how to navigate their father’s temper and stopped testing it / always acquiesced out of a fear of being deserted again. If most of his physical abuse was when he was a child or a teenager, well, Kendall, Roman and Shiv hadn’t even been born, there’s already a remove for them in terms of their relation to it.

With Kendall, Roman and Shiv, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Roman being sent away to school in Delaware while Kendall and Shiv were both living with their father still and going to school in Manhattan. There’s a childhood separation there when it comes to Roman, yes, which breeds its own sort of ‘othering’, which I’ll come back to, but I do think there’s a lot of evidence in the show that depicts Kendall and Shiv as forming something between a ‘half and half’ and a ‘trauma-shield’ sibling relationship.

I’m getting a bit scientific here, so I hope you don’t mind, but a half and half sibling relationship is described as consisting of ‘the reenactment of traumatic events with their sibling due to the flawed attachments the sibling has to their caregiver. This sibling relationship is often the most violent, and is seen as a love-hate relationship with each other. This often plays out as the siblings’ relationship becomes too important as a substitute source of nurturing and threatening as a potential cause for abandonment. The siblings are confused about their psychological connection to a caregiver, and act out a push/pull relationship with each other to achieve maximum comfort from that caregiver.’

On the other hand, the trauma shield sibling relationship is when siblings ‘use each other as a shield from the abuse and interrupt the development process. They become fixated at the same developmental level and exhibit similar interpretations of their struggles despite the chronological age difference.’

The show regularly depicts Kendall and Shiv as being mirrors to one another – they are the winning dog, the rightful heir, the only real competition to one another, and now the only two to be parents and continue the lines of succession – and I think we’ve seen the effect that’s had on both their lives. They have moments of genuine intimacy and trust, they defend each other, they reach for each other when things are blowing up and become active participants in each other’s attacks on others, just as they also are the most ruthless with one another, the most violent, they weaponise each other’s weaknesses (both real and perceived) and have tried to ‘kill’ each other more than any other iteration of the siblings.

I also think that they both are in extreme denial about the abuse they received, and I think that they enable that in each other and shield each other from the realities of it which is easier to do when Connor and Roman weren’t there for it, and easier to do when they have each other to reiterate the artifice of their lives. God, one of the things that’s so great about the karaoke confrontation in 4.02 is that it kind of lays that out. Kendall and Shiv work together in that scene in a way that shuts Roman and Connor out at best and at worst uses their abuse and neglect to make a point while never saying anything about what Logan’s done to them. Shiv might bring up Logan advising Tom on the lawyers, but even that is a way around the things we’ve seen Logan do to her, and Kendall’s literally behind her the whole time. They’re in-step in their refusal to acknowledge what their father’s done to them, just as they’re in-step in forcing their brothers’ abuse out into the open to make a point.

I think this dynamic likely established itself around the time Roman was sent away to school, because I think Roman being sent away fed into Kendall and Shiv’s shared narrative that they were the prized children. It likely did have this degree of othering for Roman which emphasised his perceived weakness in the eyes of all three of the Golden Trio, and I think he likely had readjustment periods when coming home for the holidays that did see him hit more. I think those periods likely let Kendall and Shiv off the proverbial hook until he inevitably went back to school, where they could control their own abuse narratives again through their shared understanding of what the ‘story’ was.

This has gotten very long, haha, so look! This is a roundabout way of saying that I think Logan’s parenting style has been divide and conquer for as long as he’s been a parent, and that that has coloured all four of their understandings of their own abuse. The difference is that Connor and Roman were cast out, and the fact of being cast out at all means that abuse and neglect has a light shone upon it. It gets some oxygen, it gets to breathe, which makes it real. Kendall and Shiv weren’t cast out, they were kept together in their father’s house in Manhattan, and I think getting to stay behind closed doors in the dark let them hide even from Connor and Roman. It didn’t see the light, it didn’t get any air, so it was never real. I think it allowed them the ability to hide, deny or re-write their abuse, and I think they used (and still use) each other to do it.

#this is so long anon i am very sorry #i've been thinking about this for a while but especially since 4.02 with the way kendall and shiv worked together against logan #it was Very Interesting #i've done quite a bit of trauma response training recently + have worked a lot in child safety over the last six years so i think i do watc #the show with a particular eye #hbo succession #roman roy #kendall roy #shiv roy #connor roy #logan roy #succession meta #cw abuse #welcome to my ama

85 notes · View notes

doberbutts · 1 year

Text

Okay well I watched the first episode of Blood Origin and honestly my thoughts are:

I just don't understand why people are so resistant to changes/new plotlines/some lore breaking of *recent* franchises but gobble it up when it's older. People telling an untold portion of a common tale is well established in storytelling culture. The first example that springs to mind is Lancelot, who straight up does not exist in original Authorian legend and was a FRENCH invention when the myth spread. Nowadays, most casual enjoyers of King Author stuff don't bat an eye to Lancelot's presence. Lancelot, who comes to mind, because Sapkowski writes said Lancelot to be in love with Ciri, and we're totally cool with *that* but not with changes to Sapkowski's work.

It's really telling that there's such a bigoted negative reaction to this because honestly? The black people so far have been BLACK black, darker than me, darker than even my black family sometimes. I'm enjoying seeing melanin in fantasy don't mind me. And the hair on the sisters is excellent, I'm liking the costuming, and I *really* like Eile.

The accents are kind of all over the place. Both as individual characters but also as the actors themselves. Sometimes Fjall goes from generic American accent to some form of fake Irish to ????european???? and back and it's distracting and weird. HOWEVER I do like the Irish and Welsh accents in high born kingdoms, because too often those accents are for commoners and poverty only, and this sort of turns the trope on its head.

I'm not sure how much I like the pan-Asian vibe I'm getting from some of the props and architecture. Some things look vaguely Chinese while others solidly Arabic while others a weird fusion of Indian and Korean and it's just odd to me. At first I thought it was because of clan structures but then I saw that it's just sort of everywhere. I have 0% Asian in me so I'm not really a good authority to speak on it but it's a weird vibe, a little Orientalist to my eyes. I'll freely admit that I like the aesthetic since I was raised pretty pan-African but I recognize that most continentally grouped cultures don't love that and it's mainly the black diaspora that's embraced it because we don't really have much of a choice.

I STILL feel that doing away with this short-season "but the episodes are an hour long!" nonsense would help pacing so much. Literally every time I thought the episode was going to come to an end, it's been roughly at the 20-25 min mark, which a standard TV episode would have been ANYWAY. So there's not really much point to having this be 4 hour-long episodes when it could be done better as 12-15 20 minute episodes... which would be the eqivilant of a short season while 24-32 is a more "standard" season (instead of 8 hour-long episodes). It gives you more time to flesh the characters and plotlines out while also allowing you the chance to trim some of the long-and-boring content people get tired of watching.

I really do feel bitter that the witcher tags continue to be people making racist and misogynistic memes instead of a fandom happily discussing a pretty strong first episode that introduced a billion fantasy characters of color. It really sucks that black people in fantasy is received so poorly when my inner 10 year old is happy to see people who look more like me having fun with the genre. I long for the day when I can exist in a fandom space and happily discuss my favorite black characters without having to justify their existence every 2 seconds.

Oof that CGI is pretty rough though. Which surprises me because the S2 CGI was not this rough so idk what happened here. That monster in the first episode is, uh, bad. And the background in the weird magicky place is also pretty, uh, bad.

I don't understand why the first witcher being an elf would piss Geralt off except maybe because that means Jaskier knows more about witchers than Geralt does? All of Geralt's iterations- the books, the games, the show, the comics- are pretty chill with elves as long as they're pretty chill with him. He only pursues certain elves and elf-blooded mixed race people when they pose a direct threat to him or his loved ones. Same as humans. So I don't really get that line at all unless, as said, it was more a "wow Geralt's gunna be pissed that I know this story and he doesn't"

56 notes · View notes

gaykey · 1 year

Note

hello! i've never been on anon here before, but i have been Thinking About Something recently, so i am here to ramble :D

i'm a relatively new shawol — started stanning around early/mid 2020 — but i've been a k-pop stan for over 6 years now, and the one thing i've always noticed is how possessive some fandoms are over idols?

like with nct, for example, a member will post a picture and the comments will be full of "WHO TOOK THIS?? IS HE DATING SOMEONE????" not to mention how people reacted to chen's news :(

but i've never once seen that happen with shinee, at least so far. i might be totally wrong, but i feel like shawols give shinee their personal space, and that the members themselves encourage seperating their personal lives from their personas. i just think it's so healthy and wonderful to see, and... idk i'm just very happy about it :P

thanks for reading my little (very long) ramble. toodles!

hello!

i mean, it has definitely happened, anon.

when it came out that jonghyun was dating shin sekyung, for example, there was an uproar.

people unstanned. it's was a big scandal in the fandom. and there have been other things like that over the years. people tend to forget moments like that when looking back at fabdom history, and we shawols love to put ourselves on a pedestal.

but no, shawols aren't totally innocent.

that was a while ago now though, and for the most part, the fandom has matured. a lot of us were teenagers back then, but now we're mostly in our mid to late 20's and older. the age of a fanbase really makes a difference.

and yep, the members themselves are very good at creating that boundary. they share things with us, but make it very clear that they have their own private personal lives that we aren't privy to. kibum especially is very good at it. he gives just enough to make fans feel connected to him, but also let's it be known they we aren't owed that information y'know?

both of those reasons are probably why overall, shawols are pretty chill about them having relationships and stuff, and have a more healthy outlook of the idol x fan, parasocial relationship thing.

again, there are probably still people around with the toxic 'how dare they have private lives?!' kind of mindset, but they're definitely less common now.

#anon #shineee

6 notes · View notes

lenievi · 1 year

Note

Hey so I’m curious about your feelings on bones having a daughter? It’s just something I’ve been feeling conflicted about lately. Like on one hand I think it adds an interesting layer to his character. On the other hand it just seems like something that he would feel guilty about, assuming that it’s not a close relationship, which people sort of go back and forth on since he would be pretty absent but he also just seems like such a caring and loyal person so it can be hard to imagine him just not being around on any level for his kid. I also struggle a bit with the fact that so many people write her as being so young, which isn’t a bad thing but I always imagine her as a teenager or young adult, which, depending on how long Bones has been in space and part of the fleet, would also likely impact how close they are. Like did he leave when she was a young child so they never had the opportunity to be close or did he leave when she was a bit older so they had a relationship before he left?

I'm conflicted about him having an ex-wife jahdjshfjgdjgfj

This is gonna be headcanon heavy and maybe not really what's common? idk Because the fandom expects it, I generally have him be divorced and have a daughter in TOS. In my mind, he married young and had Joanna when he was in his very early 20s (like 22yo) and was studying medicine. He wasn't ready to settle down, he wasn't able to be there for his wife or his newborn daughter, and within two years after Joanna's birth, the wife had enough and filed for divorce. That led McCoy to join the service.

So in my 'verse McCoy has never been around. He provided for his daughter, and the older he got the more he started to reach out to her, but it didn't always go well. (In my mind, Joanna is bitter and blames McCoy, especially during her teenage years.) He feels regret over his choices (and more and more the older he gets), but he's imho a career-driven man (like Kirk), and he doesn't regret his life in general. (in my hc he reconnects with Joanna after Joanna has her own daughter, and he tries to be a good grandfather)

I think it's rare for Joanna to be young in TOS-based fics (not unheard of though), but in AOS fics, she'd be young. I think it's usually assumed she was born in 2249 - that makes her 16-21 during the five-year mission in TOS. But would make her just a kid during the AOS timeline. When Kirk and McCoy met in AOS, Joanna would be 6. (But people might use different years idk) I personally don't headcanon that Joanna exists in AOS, though. The years are just all off, so I don't even hc that McCoy married the same woman. Since in TOS, at the time of him meeting Kirk in AOS, McCoy was with Nancy.

I also can't stop but think how Jim would think about his BFF going to space and leaving his young kid behind. He'd have a lot of things to say about that imho

So, even though I would occasionally prefer not to use McCoy having an ex-wife or a daughter, I created a version for myself I can get behind. It also allows me to deepen the connection between Kirk and McCoy (in TOS) because they can commiserate and bond over having kids and not knowing them. And I love to create connections between the relationship between McCoy&Joanna and Sarek&Spock, allowing McCoy to understand Sarek's position and being able to explain some things to Spock, things Spock can't see, because McCoy speaks from experience.

#tos nonsense #replies #i love questions thank you~#leonard mccoy #headcanon times

2 notes · View notes

vanillacoolatta · 3 years

Text

the fact that i am fully aware there is an even greater population of 12 year old (as opposed to 14+) stans on twt than tumblr is like. especially nauseating esp with what has been happening recently. obv no fandom is perfect including the tumblr ones and i dont have twt so im sure the stuff ive seen is cherrypicked but the stuff i have witness to is just so. toxic?? like im sure there are good ppl on twt too but since they have such a huge platform and are constantly in the spotlight i feel like its almost poisoning those ppl or smthn yknow

#dnrb #negative #if i had a constant chance of being rtwted by a cc i liked when i was 12 years old i think that would have fucked me up actually #tumblr has always felt more personal and down to earth in fandoms for me #most fandom ppl i meet here are around 17 or older (with exceptions #but the youngest ive interacted with is like 14 or 15 and for good reason)#but the outspoken part of the twt fanbase in most fandoms seems so much younger and not as predisposed to the rules or common sense culture #of most parts of the internet #and on twt which is full of celebrities and ppl trying to get their 5 minutes #it just feels so much more stressful and like a terribly negative environment for ANYONE but especially people 14 and younger #who havent had the opportunity to experience something less bad #idk what im trying to say #i guess just. as ive grown up and seen fandom spaces change across the internet it just seems like every year theres something worse yknow #like everyone made fun of scene kids in the 2000s but most of them werent problematic or anything #but now with the era of kids being expected to put their whole lives on blast on twitter and insta and snapchat #it just feels like everyone is expected to be some form of selfish and the internet/twitter has turned into a pool of sharks #waiting for you to do something they dont like so they can cancel you or whatever #but when they inevitably get 'cancelled' themselves #(which by the way is the absolute worst way to handle situations like that. ppl should be held accountable for their actions and saying the #yre cancelled just makes them more likely to keep doing what theyre doing)#but when they inevitably get cancelled themselves they blow up and call everyone names and go dark for a week until they come back spouting #the same bs

0 notes

olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

Are there any openly trans guys from the mailing list/zine fan eras? I can’t believe that the LJ/tumblr fan generations would have been the first to use fic and fannish spaces to help sort out our own genders, but I don’t hear anyone talking about older guys. Idk, don’t want details on anyone who doesn’t want the info out there and I wouldn’t be surprised if people want privacy, just wondering… how much of that kind of history is actually there? How much old slash meta is like those 90s queer/butch essay collections where it keeps being like oh hm that author’s last name and writing style are familiar, guess this really is an old essay… :P

Not that I can think of, but that proves nothing.

How often do you hear anybody on tumblr discussing anything pre-LJ?

I don't mean "K/S is where slash fandom started" quotes from Fanlore: I mean personal experience. There was spockslash (RIP, legend!). There are a few people who talk about the zine era occasionally. There's almost nobody who talks about usenet or mailing lists from first hand experience. When we went to rescue yahoo groups, it was hard to get anyone to give a fuck because almost all of the Olds on Tumblr are LJ era Olds.

Pre-LJ Olds who are still in fandom are on Facebook.

One thing to keep in mind is that the 25-year-old trans guys often came out like five years ago...

And the 35- and 55-year-old trans guys also often came out like five years ago.

I went looking for Gender Stuff in the 90s, and it was all about trans women who wanted bottom surgery and experienced dysphoria. That wasn't even a gatekeepery jerkface thing back then. It's just where the understanding of transness was at. I think writings about trans men lagged behind a lot of other queer stuff, and a lot of trans dudes didn't figure themselves out until pretty recently.

I mean, you clearly know all this if you're referencing butch essay collections, but just saying. For posterity. Or the Youths™ or whatever.

I think there can be a disconnect in trans guys' spaces where the younger guys are looking to the older guys as mentor figures, but the older guys are just as early in their transition process and don't have the spoons, let alone the experience, to be that for them. (This is a complaint I've heard from guys I know.)

My guess is that that history is not there in the sense that I suspect any such dude had not figured out he was a dude during the zine era. It wouldn't just be that he was closeted. It would likely be that he didn't know at the time and figured it out with everybody else in the 00s or 10s. But that's a guess.

The further back you go in zines, the smaller the population. We're talking a few hundred to a few thousand people depending on which bit you're looking at, not the hundreds of thousands on LJ or the millions on FFN and AO3. So while I assume there's somebody, it might be like one single dude. Surveys suggest enbies are more common than trans men in fandom, and when we're dealing with such a small population back in ye olden times, that probable percentage doesn't add up to a lot of people. Out of our handful of hypothetical guys, are they still in fandom? Are they still alive? Will they have told me about their gender? There could totally be a dude I even know from cons or something, and if I haven't run into him in the past few years, I'd never know.

I can think of a few nbs, including one who lived as a trans man for a while before discovering that nonbinary was even an option, but I'd have to go check on exactly when they got into fandom. They might be more LJ than mailing list.

There are totally oldschool zine people who wrote m/m who explain it by going "Oh, I've always felt like a man inside", like whatevs, no big, don't all women feel this way?

If you wanted to interview an out trans man of the zine era, I don't know if I could direct you to one off the top of my head, but yeah, old-ass fandom sounds a lot like more recent fandom. I'm sure there's a fandom Patrick Califia kicking around somewhere. And if there isn't, maybe next year.

For a pro writer example, Billy Martin, formerly Poppy Z. Brite is an interesting dude. His 90s gothic horror books were such BL-flavor m/m, and slash fandom loved them back in the day. He was kind of an ass about fanfic, so I assume he wasn't in fandom, but you wouldn't know it from his books. Not quite what you asked about, but adjacent.

Fellow Olds, am I forgetting someone obvious? Anybody want to come out as Trans Fandom Grandpa to the Youths?

170 notes · View notes

stephdrawsjohnlock · 2 years

Note

why do you ship rimmer and lister? i don't judge you or anything (you should hear about some of my ships lmao) but i haven't noticed anything romantic between them? idk you don't have to answer this i'm just curious.

Hey Nonny!

No offense taken, and I'll try to be as respectful as I can in my reply as well!

Before I begin, let me ask you, without malice: Why do you ship what you ship? Does it matter if it's canon or not? Is it because it makes you happy, or is it because the dynamic intrigues you, or maybe you're using a character as a placeholder for yourself to help understand your own trauma? There's a plethora of answers here that honestly is different for each individual, and really there's no "right" answer.

There are people who ship Kryten and the Cat, or Mycroft and an umbrella, or Anderson with Sherlock, or Snape and Sirius... I personally don't get any of the ships, but they're not my 'ship, and really, not my place to shit on it. Shipping just makes fandom a bit more dynamic and interactive.

The short answer to your question, for me anyway, is because it gives me hope, as do all my current ships. I'm an older cusp millennial, and I haven't had a serious relationship ever in my life. A commonality with all my ships, I've discovered, is that I have a "placeholder" character that I relate to, and in turn it just... makes me feel like there is still someone out there for me, that I'm not to old to find someone to share my life with; A John to my Sherlock. A loveably annoying life partner Lister to my grumpy, "unloveable" neurotic set-in-my-ways Rimmer. A smitten Crowley to my fussy Aziraphale. It's literally as simple as that for me on a personal level. AND because I like the chemistry of the characters interacting, and I like how other authors interpret that dynamic.

Canon-speaking though, a lot of my ships do come about if I feel that, in-canon, it could be a very real possibility and if their chemistry feels right to me. I explained it a bit more in-depth in the description box of this art-piece here, but the long short of it is "they're stuck in space forever, as life partners, and you can see the growth of their relationship over 30 years." Binge Series 1 all the way through to 13 (The Promised Land), and you'll see a dramatic difference from Rimmer/Lister S1E1 and Rimmer/Lister S13 TPL. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, but the post-Ace era episodes are especially kind of... married couple-ish? I can't really explain. There's a few scenes where you'll see Rimmer and Lister walk off together, or share an inside joke at the expense of another character, or Lister will be so DONE with Rimmer but still put up with him anyway after Rimmer "apologizes" in his own way, LOL. Also:

They have a ship the size of a small city, and even when Rimmer came back in series 9, they still shared a room. I KNOW in sitcoms it's fiscally better to keep sets to a minimum, but they... I dunno could have shown Rimmer and Lister in separate rooms at any time.

In fact, the one SINGLE TIME they did split rooms pre-Starbug/Post-Starbug, in "ME SQUARED", when Rimmer got annoyed with himself... He went RIGHT back to share a room with Lister again, so the "minimal sets" thing get rendered moot... "Me Squared" is the last episode of the first season... when they would have known if their budget got slightly bigger and they could have made them in separate rooms. But nope. 11 seasons Sharing the same room?

PLUS The argument could then ALSO be made that The Cat could then share a set room too... but nope. OH and Kochanski as well... to be fair their time on Red Dwarf together was in prison, but I digress. So yeah, sharing a bunk room on a ship the size of a small city? Seems sus, LOL.

"STOKE ME A CLIPPER", it was Dave who encouraged Rimmer that he could be more, and kept Rimmer's secret when he left, not even confessing to Kochanski what happened to Rimmer.

In the episode "BLUE", Lister literally pines over Rimmer for the entire episode, to the point where Lister dreams about kissing Rimmer.

"FATHERS AND SUNS", Lister makes a true effort to take Rimmer's advice and to be a better father to himself. I know it's a stupid little thing, but it's evidence that Dave does take things Rimmer tells him to heart even when they bicker, and it ends terribly for them, but there you go LOL.

"ENTANGLED", it's explicitly stated that Rimmer literally cannot survive without Lister, since Holly is no longer running the ship. They're essentially tied together until Dave finally dies for real.

"M-CORP", I personally feel like it was Rimmer who was the most determined to get Lister back. Maybe I'm biased because Rimmer is my fave character, but I dunno, that's the vibe I got from it.

"THE PROMISED LAND" is the most telling for me, and conveniently the most recent episode... It was the "Sun and Moon" convo for me that renewed my love for their dynamic. Lister sincerely told Rimmer that he needed Rimmer in his life, and Rimmer took it to heart, AND they don't make a "no homo" joke about it later on. It was lovely to me.

There's a tonne more that I personally see probably because of shipper goggles, but what do I know, LOL. I will give that to you, that in earlier episodes it is harder to see, but I promise, binge the whole thing as one and you can see them already growing on each other by series 2.

If not a ship, I've ALWAYS seen them as each other's best friend since at least series two. Both know more about the other than any coworker/room-mate should, and thirty years on, especially after Rimmer returns, it just seems they've softened each other's edges and made themselves a family. At the very least it's a nice "found family" trope, given how fucked up Rimmer and Lister's past lives were.

ANYWAY, SORRY, I rarely get to talk about Red Dwarf, so thank you for the opportunity!

The TL;DR of this is: I ship them because I'm an old romantic sap who ships other old idiots because they make me happy and hopeful for my own future, AND because I love the chemistry my ships have with each other. Simple as that! <3

Hope that answers your question, and thank you for asking it :)

#steph replies #red dwarf #chatting with nonnies #rimmer x lister #rimmster #i love them so much

78 notes · View notes

ghostietea · 3 years

Text

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

195 notes · View notes

biboyhalo · 2 years

Note

I know this isn't universally true and there are always exceptions, but I think the younger half of the gen z generation have a fixed ideas about coming out and how to do it, and forget that for older gen zs and millennials the whole process was sometimes really messy. And that a lot of the time people didn't want to label themselves, because labels weren't always a safe space that came with an accessible irl or online community which they are more now- labeling yourself was brave but very isolating sometimes - and rejecting labels was almost like rejecting the boundaries created by straight ppl. But a lot of teen LGBTQ+ in particular forget their experiences aren't the same of people even just 5-10yrs older than them.

They also seem to forget just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they can't be queer (like I get it, I would like to have less in common a few people I dislike but they're gay and their sexuality is not my business so I have to deal with it). It's not an exclusive clique, you can't kick someone out if you don't like their behaviour 😭

i saw so many tik toks by young people in the last few days that are like... oh are they starting to get it... like one of them talked about how they 'respected eanboos boundaries TOO much'bc they kept on telling everyone not to assume he's gay when that's what he was trying to get LOL. like i feel like they forget that people will want to signal to queer people 'hey im one of you' without coming out sometimes, bc of whatever reasons.

idk feels like when youre in a fandom you surround yourself with like-minded people and sometimes forget that in the real world not everyone is knee deep in queer discourse every day. and yet you will still expect people to know the rules that you and your clicque of 14 year old established 😭😭

#asks #anon #apr 22

4 notes · View notes

princeanxious · 4 years

Text

Trust is a Fragile, Fickle Demon.

Pairing: Analogical

Fandom: Sanders sides

Warnings: hurt/comfort, happy ending, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of mental abuse, mentions of abusive parent, mentioned of past betrayed trust, trust issues, let me know if i missed anything!

Wordcount: 1.9k words

(A/n): this is sort of a short one, idk that im very proud of it, its written a little differently than I normally write so let me know if ya’ll like it? I tried!

Trust was something earned, gained, given, not expected. At least, to Logan, thats how it’d always been. The omega had learned young the mistake of trusting anyone so readily, a freely given token of connection that only served to hurt him in the long run.

Even now, Logan was aware his upbringing had been slightly rougher than his common peers. His therapists all readily, or subtly, pointed out that his alcoholic alpha of a single father who never should have been a parent to begin with was undoubtedly the root cause of many of his issues.

First of all of them was the lasting trauma of the emotional abuse he’d endured as a child and teenager. Never smart enough, never quiet enough, never clean enough. He was never enough, he was never going to be enough. He was a weak, broken, and useless omega in his father's eyes, and would never amount to anything more. And while he never wanted to believe it, often said he never believed any of it, he could only confidently say he didn’t truly believe even just part of it by the time he was 23.

Another was that he’d never been given any freedom to do as he pleased when he was younger. He never got to visit friends or do anything more fun than read at the library(and boy did he read any chance that he got back then). His first real social outing was when Roman, his then longtime college roommate and current best friend, had playfully offered for him to come join him to go buy icecream at midnight. But, that story is better saved for a different time.

All you need to know is that, that midnight ice cream became a bi-weekly routine, and the other omega learned more about Logan than he thought he’d ever get out of the closed off nerd that night. Perhaps one could even go so far to say that Roman was the reason Logan ever even dared to go to a therapist in the first place.

Logan had become very stunted from the childhood neglect he’d endured. Omegas had many self-soothing mannerisms built into their primal instincts to comfort themselves when stressed, like purring when upset(was well as when happy or content!) and nesting to decompress or hide in a safe zone when stressed. And well, Logan had pretty much stifled his purring by the time he was 14, and.. Completely stopped nesting by the time he was 9.

There had been no point, and both had become increasingly dangerous to do as he grew older. Anytime his father caught him purring, the Alpha would berate him for being ungrateful, seeing it as a weakness. And no matter how well he’d try to hide his safety nests, his father would inevitably find them and destroy them. Far too many afternoons were ruined when he came home to find his father in a drunken stupor and his newest safe haven wrecked beyond repair, and stinking to high heaven of alcohol and aggressive, angry alpha pheromones.

So he gave up. He gave up trying to make the nests in hopes for comfort, in hopes for a safe haven to hide away. The longest he’d gotten was hiding away in his closet for periods of a time before his father decided it didn’t deserve a closeable door anymore.

Roman had been horrified, and promptly dragged the other omega into his own nest in distress. They spent hours like that, Logan sobbing and tucked up tenderly into Roman’s protective embrace as the omega purred and crooned comfortingly enough for the both of them.

It would be Roman to encourage Logan to begin nesting again. They’d made a whole day out of it, going out and buying brand new nesting materials along with comfort food and rented movies. Slowly but surely, Logan rebuilt his nest for the first time in a little over 10 years, and he was in heaven. And day by day, every time he came home to it intact and undisturbed, Logan’s psyche was assured just a little more that the nest was safe, that he was finally safe.

And no one could really be surprised that Logan became viscerally protective of his nest, even more so than the average omega, at that. The first time they realized this, one of their mutual friends, a beta named Patton, had suddenly come close to his nest in excitement over the new addition. Logan had snarled loudly and aggressively before he’d even processed moving to guard his nest from the approaching threat. When Patton had taken multiple careful steps back in shock, Logan finally snapped out of the defensive mindset and realized what had happened. He’d apologized profusely, and was quick to try and make amends.

Patton understood the justified reaction after some light explanation and waved off the apologies immediately. Logan, though mortified at his own surprising lapse in control, was grateful that there had at least been no hard feelings in the end.

Safe to say, their friend group and subsequently any new friends made in the future would be warned, “Don’t approach, or touch, Logan’s nest.” And it was fine. Things were even looking up, Logan had started truly healing, and trusting people started to become a little less difficult!

So it would really come as a surprise to everyone, let alone Logan himself, when he started developing a small crush on the kind and patient(if a little anxious) Alpha who nearly daily visited the library Lo worked at to study. It was an honest shock, but, perhaps it wasn’t the worst thing in the world..?

Logan had never seriously considered dating another until Virgil came around, and the prospect of dating an alpha was frankly terrifying. But, Virgil was nice, he was caring and gentle with him, and yet unwaveringly respectful. He’d listen to Logan ramble about stars for hours and never interrupt him, only asking questions when Logan’s voice lulled or allowed him to speak. Virgil encouraged this, wanting Logan to open up and ramble and talk without fear of being shut down.

Roman had told Logan it was obvious Virgil was crushing hard on Logan, that they both had it bad for one another it seemed. Of course, nothing had to come of it if Logan didn’t want it to! But the thing was, he did. He did want something to come of it, if at the very least they could just remain friends.

It took a few more months, but Virgil eventually worked up enough confidence to ask Logan out, and the unwavering, almost immediate ‘Yes,’ had almost taken Virgil off guard. They wouldn’t share their first kiss for another few weeks, but neither of them minded.

Virgil slowly but surely was given the whole story, and expressed his own quiet outrage in the form of promising to never let that happen again, nor let Logan’s father near him again. It was a protective sentiment that almost scared Logan, but the protectiveness was born out of love and compassion, not selfishness and hate. So he let it slide, and contently tucked himself into Virgil’s warm embrace with a soft “thank you,” and the first very soft but very happy purr that he’d let out in years.

This alpha, he’d find him telling himself a year and a half into their relationship, this alpha was the one that would be allowed into his nest.

It didn’t bother Virgil personally, that he wasn’t allowed into his omega’s nest. No one was allowed near the nest except him, and even then he still got growled at plenty. He was completely aware that Logan had a deep instinctual fear of the destruction of his nest, sewn by the only parent he’d had growing up doing just that out of malice. Logan had made strides in his journey of healing though. The omega was confident in himself, and refused to be pushed aside or spoken over. Logan was highly independent, even during his heats, which made Virgil feel all the more love for him to be let into his omegas life.

Logan wasn’t dependent on him like society demanded he be, and Virgil didn’t mind in the slightest, because he knew Logan. He loved this omega and knew said omega loved him back. That was all that mattered to either of them.

It took another half a year before Logan finally tried breaking down some of his protective walls over his nest. He was tired, so tired of the separation. Having Virgil's scent heavily entwined with objects in his nest wasn’t enough anymore. At two years into their relationship, Logan’s instincts didn't feel the need to growl at Virgil for being near his nest anymore. He wanted Virgil in his nest, and that thought was jarring to realize.

And when he’d brought it up, Virgil had been quick to assure him that he didn’t have to force himself to let Virgil in, that Logan’s safe space was sacred and he never wanted Logan to feel pressured by anything to let him in.

Perhaps Logan kissed him soundly after that, and was reminded just how much he really loved Virgil. Virgil's insistence for Logan's comfort coming first only made him want to pull his alpha into his nest that much more.

But still, he agreed to take it slowly. Every day, Virgil would scoot a little closer to the edge of the nest, would hold Logan’s hand and stroke his hair, even sometimes daring to slowly lean over and kiss him with prior warning.

It took a full week to really prove to Virgil during their progress that they were ready to take this next step, that Logan truly and fully trusted Virgil and wanted him in his nest.

And when it finally happened, they’d made a little date out of the occasion, setting up snacks and candy, ordering take out and lining up a few documentaries to watch on Virgil’s laptop, getting into their nightclothes.

Virgil had been beyond nervous, and Logan understood why. They managed to soothe each other as everything fell into place, and Logan carefully walked Virgil step by step into his nest. With careful movements, they sat down and Virgil let himself be carefully arranged as he was leaned back into the nest. It took a second for Logan to finish tucking things against Virgil and pull a weighted comforter over them before he finally settled himself onto Virgil’s chest.

Despite their original nervousness towards the idea, everything felt right, now. Logan felt so unbelievably safe now that he was tucked into his alpha’s arms within the cocoon of his nest. It was amazing in its own right. And it takes Virgil chuckling lovingly for Logan to notice just how content they both are.

“You’re purring like crazy, L,” he murmurs with a smile, running his fingers up and down Logan’s rumbling back, “If you’re not careful you might fall asleep before we even get through the first documentary.” Logan just grins back, tilting his head to peck Virgil on the cheek.

“I see no downside to that, V, considering I’ll be falling asleep in my alpha’s safe embrace. What more could I ever want?”

Virgil flusters and hides his face in Logan’s hair as the omega laughs, hugging the other closer. Logan eventually does fall asleep in the middle of the second documentary, cuddled close and relaxed.

And really, there was no other place Logan would rather be.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #luka writes #trigger warnings may apply #tw abuse mention #tw neglect mention #tw trust issues #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #hurt/comfort #happy ending #let me know if i need to tag more!#omegaverse au

383 notes · View notes

cafeinthemoon · 4 years

Text

The Senju brothers finding out their little sister is going out with Madara 💥

Lately I’ve been into family drama and such, so when anon requested this I couldn’t say no lol Btw thank you, anon, for this scandalous incredible idea 😘

In this scenario/list/idk we have the Senju brothers finding out their younger sister and Madara are seeing each other. As you might expect, the news provoke different reactions in each of them, but the main point is how she will deal with this situation.

So I’m gonna shut up now and leave you with this:

Fandom: Naruto | Senju Brothers

Warnings: none, just a heated argument and a looong list ahead

Symbols: 💙 | ◻ | ▶▶

Hashirama

Being Hashirama and Tobirama’s younger sister, of course you and Madara were known to each other, but being more than just a friend to him wasn’t in your plans… until now 😳

You used to admire and respect each other, not only because of the alliance between your clans, but mostly because you both were worthy being praised. Plus Hashirama has always been talkative about his best friend’s qualities, which slowly transformed the way you saw the Uchiha leader, but you only noticed this a few weeks ago

During a meeting/party/whatever at your brother’s house, Madara and you spent more time than usual talking to each other. Turned out that you discovered many things in common beyond the fact that you two were shinobi, including your views on life, politics, etc.

If Hashi noticed something, you couldn’t tell, but it was strange that during all the time you were there together he didn’t come to join you (not that you complained about it)

You and the Uchiha saw each other a few times on the next days, and the feeling of familiarity between you only grew. You weren't sure of how to call it. You were fond of each other, but saying that you were just friends didn’t seem to be enough now

You both agreed that it was too soon to name it as a date or something, so you didn't tell anyone, not even your brothers

You wanted to be sure of your own feelings before making a statement. Were you still friends? Were you really in love? Was it just a crush, a superficial attraction? You wanted to understand what was going on

During this time, Hashirama didn’t make a comment or anything that suggested that he was aware of this situation, so you were a bit surprised when one day, he came to talk to you about it

“So you and Madara are engaging in a secret romance and you dared leaving your big brother out of this, y/n? Where did you learn such behavior?!”

“Don’t you really know?”, you smirked

“Excuse me?!”

“Am I the first person in this family to keep secrets that involve Madara, Hashi?” 😑

THE REDNESS ON HIS CHEEKS WAS PRICELESS LMAO

Hashirama was your elder brother aka the person who has been taking care of you since your parents left this world, so not only his worries were valid, but he also had the right to know, so yeah, he was a bit disappointed that you didn't tell him first

Now, I think his feelings about this were not as plain as some can imagine. In fact, he had a mixture of contradicting feelings and ended up talking about them more than demanding an explanation from you

On one hand, he was happy because he loves you both, so finding out that his little sis and his soul brother might have started a relationship was exciting 💖

On the other hand, he was worried because you were even younger than Tobirama, while Madara was not only older but more experienced than you and he knew his friend’s flaws better than anyone else

However, Hashi was an understanding person and was willing to listen, so you explained your feelings and your reasons to him, as well as part of your conversations with Madara, pointing out that making things this way was a mutual decision, for the best of you two and the people you knew

He pointed out that despite not calling your meetings a date, you two were already thinking as a couple 😏

You blushed and asked him to keep quiet, at least for a while

He promised you he would not say anything, but not before hugging you tight and crying about how his lil sis was growing up so fast saying how much he was happy for you two 💓

Tobirama

Prepare yourself to get your ass smacked and burning for an entire week lmao

Okay, so as you can easily imagine, it didn’t take much effort from Tobirama to find out that something was going on between you and Madara

It wasn’t that you two were reckless, it was just that your second brother was not stupid an observing man (and tbh how hard it must be to keep a secret from a smart sensor shinobi, uh?)

Unlike Hashirama, who took some time to connect the dots, he noticed small changes in your routine and behavior since the start

Why have you been so quiet, distracted lately? What has been occupying your mind? You were spending more time alone and/or out, and (yeah, he noticed that) you weve more concerned about your looks and manners than usual. Of course you were up to something

Besides, you’ve suddenly became too defensive towards Madara and the Uchihas in general. Anything Tobirama said that sounded slightly negative about them was promptly refuted by you. You seemed to have a deeper understanding of their ideologies now, as if you were having long conversations with their leader

So, it was with no surprise that you saw the storm coming ⚡

One day, Tobirama came to your room without warning and just by looking at him you knew he figured it out

How did he find out? Hashirama and his big mouth, probably. Or did he follow you and saw you two together? Well, he could have simply traced your chakra and once he sensed Madara’s close to you, the riddle was solved. But did it matter now?

His first words: “What is it?”

You don't need an explanation: you little sis + Madara Uchiha problem™ + maintaining your privacy keeping secrets from him

And now you were a brat possessed with the Uchiha evil, and not just with any Uchiha evil but with MADARA’S Uchiha evil 🔥🔥🔥

There was no way for you to have a normal conversation in the current circumstances. You had a heated argument, and I’m sure you’re capable of imagining what it means to have a heated argument with Tobirama

“Tobi, listen to me, I-”

“No YOU listen to me you brat possessed with the Uchiha evil”

Your brother didn’t even let you speak. He stated that not telling anything to your elder brother was not only wrong, but some sort of betrayal, then started remembering serious sh*t from the past when you were so young that you couldn’t even carry a sword the right way and everything you’ve already heard from him countless times before

But now you were done with his incapacity of simply listen, so you just stated that your elder brother Hashirama already knew it and that it was you who asked him to keep it a secret just for a while

“Hashirama is our leader, and if he knows and approves it, that’s enough for me and that should be enough for you too!”

“Hashirama is too soft with you, and this is why you behave like this!”

“Like this how? Living my life without asking for your permission? Is that what you mean?”

“Being unnecessarily connected with a man with whom we need to be careful in our treats, that’s what I mean. Our elder brother purposely ignores the fragile spots of this alliance and you know it, so there’s no excuse for your attitude!”

“Speaking like this about our ally could be considered some sort of betrayal, Tobi. If I was you, I would be careful!”

“Why? Are you going to tell him in your next date?”

“GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

“Yes, I’m getting out and having a serious conversation with our brother about this!”

“Tobirama, the war is over! We all have to move on, whether you like it or not! So instead of wasting your time with something that’s none of your business, you should go and live your life as well!”

Yes, you lost your temper, and you only realized it when your brother fell silent and lowered his tone

“You are right, lilttle sister. But let me tell you something. My way to show that I care about you might not resemble Hashirama’s, but my feelings towards you are not less deep than his”

You were heartbroken after he left, yes, but you had to stand your ground. Tobi could be very controlling if he was given space to, so you had to learn to deal with this early in your life. In this point you were better than Hashi, who was too easygoing for his own good, so you felt like you had to be strong on your resistance for both of you, otherwise Tobirama would dominate every aspect of your life without even realizing. You loved him as well, but your decisions didn’t have to always gravitate towards him

Still, you weren’t proud of your words about the war. That was a sensitive matter for Tobi. Despite his silence about it, you sensed he was offended. You knew you went too far 💔

The conclusion

Later, Hashirama came to mediate the conflict, and he had some words for both of you. When Tobirama and you found ourselves in the same room, you were about to start a new argument, but your eldest brother elevated his chakra and demanded you to be silent, bc now it was his time to speak

“Brother, I understand you are worried about our sister and I am sure she acknowledges your efforts to protect and guide her, but that doesn’t give you the right to interfere in her decisions regarding her own life. She’s right to remind you about our alliance with the Uchiha clan and to say that we need to move on. If moving on means starting a relationship with Madara in her case, things are what they are. It is her life, not yours. And do not think I haven’t talk to her about this. Y/n is no longer a child, Tobirama. She’s aware of the challenges of maintaining such connection with the Uchiha leader”

“Little sister, I understand that our brother’s way to express his worries uses to irritate you. It happened many times when you two were little. But that doesn’t invalidate the honesty of his intentions. He loves you and cares about you as much as I do. Besides, I’ve already talked to you about thoughtless mentions of the war. That was a though period for all of us, which includes your brother. You were not with us at the battlefield, that’s true, but you weren’t immune to the dark consequences of what happened at it. You mourned our siblings with us, but you were too young to understand everything that was involved. That was not Tobirama’s case. He doesn’t talk about it, but he has his reasons for that, and this must be respected”

Hashirama left you two hoping you would be capable of getting along again, which eventually happened, but at its own pace

The next day you found Tobirama working at his desk. He already acknowledged your presence, but that didn’t discourage you. You hugged him from behind and said you were going out to the river, and he could come with you if he wanted to fish. His first response was a groan

“Is there more people coming with us?” = “Is there any possibility of Madara showing up?”

You kissed his bristly hair

“No. Just us. I promise. And when we get back, I’ll cook fish for you”

Your brother’s next groan meant many things at once, “I agree”, “Thank you” and “I apologize” being some of them 😜

#naruto headcanons #naruto scenarios #naruto request #madara #hashirama #tobirama #hashirama headcanons #tobirama headcanons

306 notes · View notes

imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years

Note

Hi, sorry if I’m bothering you with this. But I had a writing blog here on tumblr, and I didn’t put an age minimum thing. Like let’s say, people who need to interact with me need to be a certain age in order to do so.

So I made mutuals who didn’t tell me their age nor didn’t say they were a minor in any part of their blog. And I decided to be friends with them, I’m also not the type to ask for ages unless the person is comfortable enough to say it by themselves. I discovered most of them were around 13-14 and it made me pretty uncomfortable but I was still kind to them and I didn’t say anything. I never discussed anything nsfw with them (even tho I’m still a minor it’s just something it makes me uncomfortable to discuss with someone younger)

My relationship with them was always like big sibling with a younger sibling, but still idk if I should cut ties or just let them be now that they are mutuals?

Also, would it be weird if someone who is 20 or older and runs a blog let minors interact with it or just have mutuals who are minors. This isn’t for me, is just a question out of curiosity.

Hey there! Not a bother, although I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. I want to preface my answer by saying this: if someone makes you uncomfortable, you are not obligated to continue speaking to them. No one is entitled to your time or thoughts… at all.

As for the rest, I think my perspective will be different because I am clearly at least 9 years older than you. We live in very different worlds 😅 Nonetheless, I will try to address everything with your perspective in mind.

First, please do not find it uncomfortable to ask someone their age — especially if conversations with younger people make you uncomfortable. You can always just ask. If they don’t want to answer, you can make a separate judgment of whether or not you want to continue talking to them (and if they do, if you believe them).

I do think you should be kind to everyone, but kindness does not mean unfettered access to you. You are allowed to assert boundaries. There is nothing shameful about that.

Which brings me to this: if you do decide to continue being friends, do it because you are comfortable making some space to be friends with them (not because you feel obligated).

Do this responsibly. Your age matters here. My conversations with minors are surface level, brief, and public (except for a few rare scenarios, like if I am telling someone that I am no longer comfortable with them in my space).

Being close friends with someone younger than you by an entire life stage (like middle school, high school, college) is weird (I’d argue it stops being strange to be friends with older people around your second year in college). You just don’t have a lot in common to develop a close friendship.

As I mentioned before, we live in very different worlds — and that’s fine. We can still occasionally chat about fandom stuff at a surface level. But you should not be sharing your secrets with me, and I should not be venting about Adult problems to you. You need friends your own age, and so do I.

If an adult allows minors in a space that is predominantly NSFW, that’s fucking whack. Block them. But a blog like mine, that doesn’t bother me. The vast majority of my posts are SFW. It would be silly to assume I could actually monitor every one of the thousands of interactions I have when most of my posts are SFW. It would quite literally take up more time than my full-time job on a scale like this.

DNIs are a nice sentiment, but ultimately difficult to enforce. I personally don’t care if minors interact with the gifsets I reblog or any of my SFW material. I do ask them not to interact with my NSFW fics, but those are very easy to avoid (they are labeled in multiple ways).

Finally: "Mutuals" culture is toxic. Feel free to let it go. I have never once looked to see if someone is following me unless someone asked, because I do not care. Clicking that little button does not make them any more or less entitled to your energy or time. If someone believes you owe them something because they are following your blog, you should reconsider engaging with that person.

Hope this helps! I'm not exactly an advice blog, but I do recognize people see me as some sort of authority. Friendly reminder, however, that I am just one person with one opinion. You are always free to ignore me, and I am not the arbitrator on the right way to do anything. I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sorry people made you uncomfortable.

#answered #answer

15 notes · View notes

rickriordanfandam · 3 years

Text

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below)

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong.

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up. the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more

130 notes · View notes

rnegitsune · 4 years

Text

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

#babymetal #don't mind me #this is long ok

57 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 3 years

Note

I was recently taken out of a project b/c of my views on proshipping. I wasn't very close, but we were definitely friendly & had been working together for a few months. Idk, I just was wondering if you had any advice for dealing w/ it, and knew any Disords that support proshipping. For more context: they said it was b/c I supported adult/minor shipping and their view was "We believe it is wrong to support that because it specifically puts minors in a position of exploitation and the adult" 1/2

"in a position of power. We believe that those who are willing to support such things may support the same ideas in life if it were legal and feel uncomfortable with that idea." They still are willing to talk & ig I wonder how I could argue against this. We're also all minors, so. 2/2

TBH, I would find new friends. If that’s their firm belief, you’re not going to change their minds, and you don’t need that nonsense in your life. If they want to talk more about it, you can tell them that you think it’s unethical to equate fiction preferences with real life behaviors, and you don’t want to associate with people who do that on moral grounds.

They’re engaging in a form of security theater that makes them feel safe: “If I detect The Bad Preferences and remove them from my vicinity, The Bad People will be gone too.” They’re not going to give up that false sense of security no matter how good your logical argument is.

I’m on a ton of discords, but all the best ones are RL friends, and a lot of the more anti-censorship spaces tend to be by adults, for adults. It’s usually not worth censoring ourselves or opening ourselves to attack. It’s a cultural problem, honestly, and it reminds me of the issue with queer spaces (i.e. it’s hard to be welcoming to people whose parents can come after you, but not being welcoming also has grave drawbacks). Kink communities have the same issue. It’s tough.

Most discords I’m on are for specific fandoms. Since you’re sensibly anonymous, I have no idea what your fandoms are.

Here’s the thing: plenty of people who are “pro ship” define it differently from one another. Some hate on RPF. Some hate it when they get bullied but turn around and act like complete hypocrites when the target is “deserving” in their eyes. So a discord that’s just about being pro-shippers isn’t going to have enough common ground to find you compatible friends.

The closest I can think of is Fiction-is-not-reality’s discord, The Fandom Exodus. I don’t think we post public invite links to that because it invites trolls, but if you can find someone in private who’s on it, they should be able to invite you. I checked the rules, and there’s no age limit. Nominally, it’s a space to discuss where fandom is going after tumblr, and it’s open to antis or whomever to join. In practice, a lot of people have ended up hanging out there and chatting.

In general, discords full of 40-somethings will be calmer and less prone to fiction=reality nonsense. I know there are minors in that one Man from UNCLE discord I’m in. I’m in a very nice, new Miami Vice one that allows minors. I can think of a starsky & hutch one. These probably aren’t your fandoms.

TBH, a lot of us used to lie and say we were older than we really were to access adult spaces. That’s an option.

Good luck, nonnie!

#fandom meta #Anonymous

35 notes · View notes