rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.

DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+

a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post

MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!

THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10

LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10

HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.

GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10

BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10

APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10

ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10

ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10

POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10

SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10

HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10

JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10

SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10

RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10

BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10

ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10

HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10

QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10

BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10

NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10

ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10

LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10

ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10

ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10

BONUSES

JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10

LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.

FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10

EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10

SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.

i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?

firesnap how do you deal w all this? Idgaf about drm but the now very high probability of him getting away from this/no other big cc speaking out is really getting to me ig

I'm trying to be realistic. I genuinely don't expect any comment from any of the big Minecraft content creators -- not today and maybe not at all. The nature of the game is that Dream is the biggest Minecraft cc in the world and all the people under him, because of the knowledge of how he operates and his fandom, are sort of stuck in limbo and trying to figure out how to navigate the situation.

Also, him only posting this stuff on his locked private account is a great way to keep things away from people who might not be following the trending tab or discussions on twitter.

Now, to not see ANY other cc, even the ones that USUALLY REPORT ON THIS STUFF, not say anything is upsetting and bizarre. I don't know if it's that people have written off the mcyt area of the internet as a lost cause or what, but it's puzzling.

I don't know, man. I don't expect teenager Tommyinnit to have to say the community has a horrible problem and it's Dream. My favorite dude barely plays Minecraft and isn't even on the internet today so I don't expect anything from him either.

I feel like people are so exhausted by his CONSTANT controversies that everyone's waiting to see how this plays out and that sucks. No big creator is going to feel like it's worth sticking their neck out when the loudest voices are still the ones defending him. I have no advice on how to cope with that knowledge other than to vote with your viewership numbers and not give support to any project, video or server that welcomes him. Let cc's know Dream isn't a source of easy views anymore.

WAIT WAIT WAIT people are of the opinion that jamie isn't in any type of love with her in s2 and/or s3? oh no that's not.... 😰

even if he didn't/doesn't know what type of love & even if he really actually didn't mean to say it, i deffo think he meant it in s2 exactly like you said like she's someone extremely important to him who he wants around in some capacity (& he still feels that way in s3) . and that's what matters most 🫶

i feel dizzy i can't believe ppl think he didn't mean it either time or he doesn't understand. this is terrible news oh my god

Unfortunately yeah. There was a lot more of it going around at the time of the funeral episode and again (and much moreso) at the time of the finale. Personally I think it’s harder to headcanon Jamie’s feelings as solely platonic in the bar scene unless you come at it from “he was just saying all that to piss off Roy” angle, and people were Very Upset that Jamie might Dare to still be into her. Tbh I think a lot of it was/is the product of (imo misguided) anger from people who either 1) were very pissed Roy and Keeley weren’t endgame or 2) held very strong opinions about the Roy and Jamie bar scene being the worst thing to happen in the history of television or whatever. (Which, to be clear I can 100% understand disliking either writing choice for various reasons. It’s just that that anger somehow extended to people being FURIOUS that jamie would confirm he’s still got feelings for Keeley because he’s “never cared about her like that and they barely interact and Keeley OBVIOUSLY doesn’t give a shit about Jamie and hasn’t paid him attention since s1, so Jamie just doesn’t know what he’s saying. he’s clearly confused and emotionally immature” etc. which like, look. idk…But TO ME…If you’re gonna be angry about that scene…Boy is that the wrong part to be angry about, lol.

Anyway I wasn’t going to post the twitter thread I saw today that dredged this all up again because it’s so not a big deal and these tweeters are entitled to think whatever they want. but also it’s like 3 a.m and I can’t sleep and I’m feeling in a very idgaf mood so whatever here it is:

I don’t even know where to start but it got under my skin for many reasons least of all that Jamie is one of the MOST emotionally mature ones like wdym 😭 just ticked all my boxes for little irritants. you know how it is.

Me rn: Hun, I tried explaining in a respectful matter why you’re Gale takes are weird interpretations but even agreed with you at times. You’ve basically just said the same shit for 3 separate posts, all of which I counteracted. Lmao Gale is the entitled nice guy? I don’t think he was the one who ghosted Katniss and threw statues at her when she kissed someone else (But wait, remember who DID that 🤗) And I really don’t get why you’ve brought up the beach kiss? That doesn’t make any sense. You’re really skewing the narrative and hold Gale to far different standards to Peeta.

no I do not hold double standard because the difference is Peeta realizes he was wrong and apologizes and changes his behavior Gale doesn't. if Peeta continue to act the way Gale was I would not be on either team. also he didn't throw the statue because of the kiss he was mad because Katniss and Haymitch because they didn't tell him about Snow's visit and because of that innocent people got killed because he gave money to rue and Thresh family like seriously didn't you read the books.

(And as for your other ask, you brought up what Liam Hemsworth said? I love Liam but Idgaf what his take is on Katniss and Gale bc he and I can have different interpretations! I don’t agree or really care what he thinks of it lol. You clearly just want the last word, have at it. It’s weird as hell that Peeta manipulating Katniss into a relationship, stalking her, ghosting her, and making her extremely uncomfortable at times is sweet and romantic, yet Gale stopping Katniss from kissing him makes him the devil. Goodbye)

this is a quote from Peeta catching Fire( He takes a deep breath. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," he says.) Peeta was also very upset about the engagement as well he didn't want to get married like that because he knew Katniss didn't want it and he respected her boundaries. he also got her a locket with gale inside it and was basically telling her I know you love him and I want you to create a life with him and I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. does that sound like he's being manipulative does that's sound like he's being a nice guy does that sound like he's trying to force a relationship on her. No so I have no clue how you got that idea but it really just goes to show you weren't really paying attention. but you know who was actually being pushy with a romantic relationship with Katniss Gale and here's proof.

("Tell me about it," I say. "If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself."

"And where would we be, Katniss?" asks Gale.)

and mind you this happened right after katniss told him she can't be even think about a relationship right now because she's scared of getting killed and her family getting killed and mind you this also happened right after the quarter quells was announced. so maybe it's Gale who's actually pushing for a relationship not Peeta. also Peeta wasn't stalking again I have no idea how you even got that seriously the boy just had a crush.

and as for the Liam Hemsworth thing the reason I even included because his interpretation is actually correct but you know what don't take my word for it take the words of the author Susan Collins herself.

(Suzanne Collins, who authored “The Hunger Games” series, seemed to echo Hemsworth’s sentiments. In an interview with The New York Times, she shared that Gale and Peeta function “less as two points on a love triangle, more as two perspectives in the just-war debate.” Collins continued on to share what the characters represent. “Gale, because of his experiences and temperament, tends toward violent remedies. Peeta’s natural inclination is toward diplomacy. Katniss isn’t just deciding on a partner; she’s figuring out her worldview.”) so I think you get my point and it's not that she's trying to say you shouldn't fight or anything but it's important to not cross that line in times of war and that's what Gale did and that's why they don't end up together. so I really think you should just go ahead reread the books because it's obvious you weren't paying attention .

Okay, you do realize throwing a statue at someone is pretty weird right? No offense but that is legit a warning sign for abusive behavior. Sure, Peeta apologizes, but A) He only did it when he was forced to interact with Katniss on the train. If he didn’t, he still would’ve been refusing to interact with her. B) Peeta does say this after finding about Katniss and Gale’s kiss.

“Was that the only time you kissed Gale”. After Katniss told Peeta she was personally threatened by Snow, Peeta’s biggest concern is that if she only kissed Gale one time. He also seemed pretty threatened about Gale in the 1st book, getting mad at Katniss when finding out Gale wasn’t related to her and he also gruffly says “She’s just worried about her boyfriend (Gale)” when talking about the love act.

Gale does try to help Peeta as well. Remember when he told Katniss he was still keeping her alive after the 1st interview? Or when he helped trained him for the games and told her he was pretty likable? And again, how he risked his life to save Peeta, played ‘real or not real’ to help with his hijacking, and he gave him the nightlock pill, which almost put Gale in the same fate as Peeta.

Also, the “Where would we be quote” again, doesn’t mean a romantic relationship, that is just interpretation. Considering that Gale doesn’t even talk about it afterwards, he likely was thinking about how Katniss wouldn’t have to be in the games again.

Also babes, Suzanne Collings legit blamed Gale for justifiable actions in a war (Taking over the Nut) and a decision that wasn’t his orders (The Capital Plaza) I’ve read these books numerous times, thank you very much. People are allowed to have opinions, if you can’t handle that maybe you should lock yourself in your room and cry about it. Or touch grass, or get a job, you clearly need it. Also, you harassing me with Peeta has genuinely only made me ship Everthorne more and hate Peeta more too 🫶

Previous anon here, sorry if I wasn't clear! English is not my first language either. But what I was trying to say is that I just don't get why people are insisting that you should get over it/get used to it. It's normal not to want to see heavier themes on your own posts! And if people come and put it ON your post it's obvious that you'll be upset? It's not a matter of getting used to it, they are being disrespectful.

thank you for clarifying! i agree with you. i've seen batcest even before i joined the fandom, but idgaf, its none of my business. but at some point, i draw the line, and i expect my audience to respect that.

can i ask some stuff aboutyour ocs you mightve already said/shown at some point on the askblog . thank you in advance either wayyy

how does NS even "know" to blame NWB for his suffering? how well does he remember the conflux fuckening?

it seems like FTA has seen NS at their happiest post-trauma, which is. sad. why does he hate them?

does Wayback intentionally self-isolate from the rest of his group, cuz it seems like at very least WT would try and humor him, and CD wouldn't care about his productivity.

WAIT IS CD IN THAT ONE ARTIST COMIC WITH NS PRE-VIRUS CD? REAL? actually do their groupmates feel like.. upset about the change in *her*? ok sorry i know this is so many asks are not the best way to do this but i am runnin g away

hi ! totally fine. probably have revealed some of this stuff already but i have the memory of a dust particle so idgaf we Will talk about this once more

1. i think sep remembers that it was wayback’s ‘fault’ because well, that’s Licherally how it all started. like the reason they went through all of this at all was cuz they had to take wayback’s workload as well. i think waves would often talk about how sep needs to be Better than that useless green bitch. but mainly i think that everytime sep would be forced to overwork themself they would also see wayback just doing nothing and having fun and whatever and they’d be Reminded. re: how well does sep remember the conflux fuckening … i will be honest it’s tricky to explain and i feel like anytime i do it 1. completely changes 2. doesn’t make 100% total sense. but also i think that’s ok ^_^ i don’t need it to make total sense i just need u guys to get the gist of it. because like … well memory problems and/or loss in Human brains already kind of works weirdly. and with sep he is both biological and mechanical and literally One Big Superbrain; so basically i’ve always imagined that while his memories and files can just be erased with no consequences like how it would usually happen to a normal computer, i think the biological part of him would always Know to some degree and be aware. i think the best way i’ve ever explained it is that it’s like walking into a mall in the middle of a weekend and seeing it empty. it just feels off, like something is missing, like there should be People there, because it’s 2pm on sunday and everyone fucking loves malls. but there’s no one. you can Tell something is wrong and something is missing but you can never fully Understand, just follow your deja vu and gut feelings. i hope that mostly makes sense!!

2. first of all, fates is just a really reserved and negative person and a Professional Hater, so she can find reasons to hate almost anyone for almost anything. it comes naturally to her. the surface reasons for hating sep would be that he is generally annoying and can be condescending even while helping fates. she just doesn’t really like him as a person, she thinks he Sucks. but the deeper reasons … well. let’s just say maybe fates and wayback have more parallels than u might think (said by a guy who barely draws attention to these parallels (I’M SORRY WE JUST HAVENT GOTTEN TO THAT PART YET !!! UEAHGHH) (completely unrelated. Hi skiddles hi steven)))

3. nope, wayback only self-isolates when he’s Going Thru Shit, which i understand is like 100% of the time but you know what i mean — the thing with his local group is that he’s an Enigma to them. they do not understand him and like a good half of them think he’s just annoying (ris, fta, sep(???)). also to be fair wayback is just not super interested in all the iterator business so he barely checks the local group (even if he dislikes being lonely). and while wt does try to humor him most of the time they are also Quite Old and do not really get what the fuck he is on about 80% of the time. also they honestly just have bigger things to worry about. now with cd it’s a different deal because she and wayback would make amazing buddies, it’s just that she’s actually a really big fan of his weirdass music and therefore is way too shy to ever actually talk to him. also she thinks if she does become friends with him then the whole group will hate her because they all seem to dislike wayback to some degree. she whines to weaving about this often and they just go No one would dislike u man … but she doesn’t believe them. she’s quite peculiar if i do say so

4. yesss cd used to be sep’s artist buddy! and uhmm. to be honest i don’t think most of the group knew cd that well before (ris and soar are not huge fans of interacting and son isn’t either) and/or just don’t really gaf about what happened (fta and ris once more). so yeah don’t even worry about it. i mean i’m sure Someone is upset about it . don’t know really. Who said that. must’ve been the wind

Andy, bestie as an OG reader I feel like it is my duty and it is in my heart to fight for you whether you want me to or not. I’m gonna be mean as fuck and say that some of these anons are fucking assholes. Idgaf if they’re “saying it in the nicest way possible” they write those paragraphs out in a nice way that has a double connotation that actually comes out as bitchy and entitled.

I feel like a lot of the people feel entitled to your stories and feel entitled to get a certain ending because they read them and give them popularity ???? Like no baby nooo, Andy’s never cared about followers and popularity. You’ve always cared about writing down your ideas into a beautiful story and letting us see that. By sharing these stories with us you let us into your head. Not the other way around. AND you know what?!!! I’ve noticed it’s mainly all the Steve girlies that are salty af. DAMN they’re fucking mean😭😭 y’all got to fucking stop. So childish and for what?! (Although I have spotted a minimal amount of Eddie ones who need to chill tf down too) oh I saw another post that didn’t sit right with me either….Andy… it’s not your fault that some people cannot handle change. I cannot believe someone threw that at you. What are you supposed to do? Walk on egg shells around these people?!! YEAH NO BYE

I think the fact that you ask other people opinions is mainly to interact and discuss the story in a healthy manner. Not sway you and insult you? Like 😭😭 PLSSS you don’t deserve this. I hope this does not make you want to stop writing. You’re the most talented writer I’ve came across on this app. I’ve been here since the start. I haven’t had time with work and uni but you know I eat any of your stories up!!! I LOVE YA!🩷🩷🩷🩷 And if it were me I would write the most unpredictable ending just to spite everyone lol but that’s just me being mad for you atm lol 😈😈😈 but anyways!! DO YOUR THING!!!

-💃🏻💅🏻

hiii! thank you so much, love.

some of them really are rude, and yeah, unfortunately it's mostly the ones who demand a Steve ending. I get why they're upset about how the story evolved but I'll never get why they have to be so rude about it. It kills my motivation and the fun to continue this story.

I won't stop writing but it's definitely a buzzkill...

Thank you for being so kind 💕

also, an unpredictable ending? hmmm lemme think hehe

I still think about a post where a guy said he blocks anyone who says “men dni”. Especially now when men in intimate spaces do make me feel uncomfortable and overall unsafe as men have treated me horribly for the most part. Ultimately if your ego can’t understand that some women and non-binary folks have only been mistreated by men so they don’t want them to interact… congrats, you’re the asshole. I only think about you and your post because I wonder why your ego is so fragile that you have to block every woman and non-binary person because you get upset when they have “men dni” in their tags or posts.

Overall: Idgaf if a man gets off to my shit, I just don’t wanna know or hear about it. Idk why this whole post is such a controversial take either

Another suggestion, maybe put any thing that involves her in a negative light under a read more and “tw violence or susie negativity” or somethin before the cut? It’s a bit much yeah, but that would erase the problem of people stumbling across it and would be their problem if they clicked it. Also people who are new or don’t know how to use blacklists yet wouldn’t see it either. Personally idgaf but some of these people are just 😬 and I feel bad seeing you get attacked for it

Honestly — is it considered hate if Im going off of canon? God Im so tired of these people not accepting the fact that their fave is depicted in a negative light for this telling

And before people tell me abt me getting upset/not liking it if Mags is depicted negatively — gestures at the TWO bastard au Mags that I wrote myself

Sometimes Youe Fave Is Problematic And You Just Have To Accept That.

Anyway most (if not all; I think I got all of them by now) of the violent art are under readmores now! And text-only posts arent in the main tag at all wkzks. (I dont really tag if theres no art)

25 - 35

25. “What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?”

A: Well I get insanely jealous when I really like someone so there’s that LOL. To say I’d be upset is an understatement.

26. “Is your current hair color your natural hair color?”

A: My roots are, but like to my cheekbone area it isn’t. Still growing out my hair from when it was red my natural hair color is almost black.

27. “Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?”

A: Absolutely NOT. Matching my humor/being able to make me laugh is 1000% the way to my heart.

28. “What was the last thing that made you laugh?”

A: Some stupid shit on tiktok lmfao

29. “Do you really, truly miss someone right now?”

A: My two bonded bunnies, Flower and PJ. Almost passed away a year apart. I miss them more than anything I spent THOUSANDS on them. They were literally my children and no idgaf if that offends people with human children either. Animals can be your children just as much especially with how much money I spent to keep them healthy and happy.

30. “Does everyone deserve a second chance?”

A: It depends on the circumstances I feel. So I would say 50% of the time, yes.

31. “Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?”

A: Nope. Hating anyone isn’t worth my energy.

32. “Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?”

A: I’m a simp lowkey so uh yeah LOL

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

A: I very very very rarely drink soda. Coffee and energy drinks on the other hand 😮‍💨😮‍💨

34. Listening to?

A: Been on a Johnny Goth binge 🖤

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

A: Again, very rarely. But I did recently use a mechanical pencil to sketch out Haku as a dragon from Spirited Away on a small canvas the size of my phone! I then used acrylic paint, marker, and liquid lipstick to color it! I’ll post a pic.

Today in PROJECTION Theater.....

First off, that isn't what "victimizing" someone means, but might as well fully establish how fucking batshit and stupid you are, right outta the gate, no? That also wouldn't be "gatekeeping" and I certainly don't feel any such thing.....but way to sound like Ameeee, there, loonytoons...I also not doing either of the latter, but, if I were.....WTF do you care? You could simply not read this if so bothers you.....why the need to not only read shit that clearly upsets you----but send me a missive attempting (and, ofc, fully failing AGAIN) to gaslight and control me?

Also, again, we've established "Amy" (sounding moar and moar like you) liked and manipulated----and, thanks to batshit peeps like yourselves, he gets a lot of hate and it's perfectly understandable that he'd (sadly) assume it's true....because how TF would he know otherwise?

No amount of trashing or attempting to destroy Cole will make PP love you or Cole take her psycho ass back----and my points have already been fully proven, plus IDGAF if you agree or not.....I enjoy dragging you assholes because it's what I've always done, actually REALLY fun and, LBR, what you deserve......and, again, who TF are YOU to tell me what I may or may not think or post and WHY TF do you care?

Especially since, apparently, I'm so crazy and nobody believes me? So why, again, are you bothering? Along those lines, why do you feel compelled to make up pointless lies about me? No idea why you need to do that, other than being THAT fucking pathetic....

And, again, at the end of the day, you should go look in the mirror.....I get sending hate is YOUR hobby and YOUR joy, but also is beyond fucking pathetic. And if you come here? YOU"LL find it and I'll continue to laugh at you....

And I'm not trying to control anyone-----I'm again, not the one spreading lies, nor am I the one trying to gaslight and send hate....I get it....it's shitty for y'all and you continue to lose.....something you might as well get used to, because such is gonna be your fucking lives as long as you're PPstans.

At the end of the day, again, look in the mirror AND I'm free to criticize the behavior a public figure chooses to share, even brag about....

I have no idea how this makes me a "parasite", and, again, I have no idea why---when all is said and done, it remains okay for thee, but not meeee.....and I'M not even the one with the stated goal of destroying anybody.....or bragging about it.

Dude, you're fucking insane and continue to be a complete loser.....the one who needs to "shut the fuck up" is you....

SUCK IT

P.S. I have no idea how you remotely thought this would work....you've been trying the same exact shit for years....why would I ever care what a cuntwipe like yourself thinks, especially when they're being a rude, gaslighting asshole?

Next time, maybe, IDK, read some basics on How to Win Friends and Influence People? I mean----you'd still fail, but at least you'd be a bit less ridiculous....

can i enquire your opinion on what i perceive as misuse of the words "zhiji" / "zhiyin" by western authors? it's often translated as soulmates, or even used synonymously, and for wx, often in romantic situations to fulfil non romantic soulmate fic tropes. i often get a bit frustrated by it. zhiji and zhiyin are both bosom friends, people who get you, appreciate you but they are not the western term of soulmates. what do you think? seeking perspectives to shape my opinion!!! thank you!!

nonny! I am so sorry! I meant to answer this the week you sent this and then i kept on getting sidetracked and forgot. >.> this is why i don’t get asks. i’m terrible at answering things. 

First of all, for those who are reading this and not nonny, i’m assuming you are either familiar with chinese or have read the blog post by @/hunxi-guilai by now. If you are not chinese and/or have not read her blog, go to her blog and go to linguistic meta and then read the post titled “ all right guys, let’s have a conversation about soulmates ” (gonna delete the link if i can’t get this to show up in tags since this is a nonny ask i want nonny to be able to find this... )

ok. now that we’re on the same page, let’s talk about translation. translation is messy. cultures don’t have the same concepts. when expressing words as complex as 知己/ 知音, you do what you can. 

do i think soulmates is an acceptable translation? yes. i would not hesitate to call wangxian soulmates. 

Is 知己/ 知音 inherently romantic? no.

do i think the connotations of 知己/知音 and the connotations of soulmates match perfectly? no. 

am i fine with fanfiction authors writing what they want? yeah. if i don’t like it, i just won’t engage with the material. it’s the idgaf of old age that i’m really glad i acquired. i can just nope right out and go find something i prefer. e.g. if i see a baobei in a wangxian fic, i usually nope right now. it’s not worth getting worked up over. lol. 

yes 知己/ 知音 are bosom friends but it’s deeper than that, right? 

Actually, i’m really glad i’ve waited. I’ve just binged Word of Honor (or what eps are currently out) and they toss out 知己/ 知音 a lot -- as they should. The show is spectacular (thus far 25 of 36 eps are out and i am dying at how amazing the main CP interactions are). Basically my heart is full of  知己/ 知音 mood so i think i can do a better job of explaining what it means to me now. 

To me, 知己/ 知音 is knowing someone/hearing someone so deeply that your souls are in sync. It’s being open and vulnerable. The mortifying ordeal of being KNOWN and/or HEARD. it’s joyous to discover that your eccentricities are understood implicitly. it’s stolen cheeky grins and stupid laughs that makes you feel alive again. It’s precious and rare and if you get one person in your life that REALLY knows/hears or tries to know/to hear you, you are lucky. this can be part of a romantic or platonic relationship. 

someone wants to call that a soulmate? sure. by all means. 

But if I were to see it in a novel or show I was trying to translate, I may translate it differently each time. The beauty of translation is, as the translator, I have the power (and the terrible responsibility) to interpret a work. My choices will be the text moving forward. My diction, if the only translation around, could be overanalyzed by a portion of the fandom. So would i always translate  知己/ 知音 as soulmates? no. Sometimes I might say say, “You’re the only person to know me truly.” or “To be truly heard in this life by one person is enough.” or I might say “soulmate” sometimes. 

so, i guess i do agree that soulmates limits the translation of the concept. but if you’re watching a show and there are subs, the subbers have more than meaning to worry about. you have to consider characters per second: 1) physically focusing on words with one’s eyes and then reading them takes time; 2) some people are much slower readers than others. (subbers also have to consider sentence structure and how to breakup a lines. and, depending on the show, sometimes the subs come out at an INSANE pace. it’s approximately 3-4 hrs of translation work once you have the chinese in front of you for a 20ish min ep if you’re being neurotic and probably just as much if not more of timing work to get an episode out. not to mention the translation checks and quality checks. so sometimes shortcuts are required... but i digress...) Is soulmates a good, succinct way to get the message across? yes. so i’m fine with it. and if it captures peoples’ imagination and brings someone joy, then even better. 

fandom should be fun. it should be happy. it should be a place where you grow and meet people that bring you joy. :) so am i upset that it’s the preferred translation of the mdzs/cql fandom? not really. it’s not perfect but it’s good enough for fandom (and horseshoes and hand grenades as people would say). 

Stuff I do and think that will make you not like me, probably

Disclaimer: If you report this post, you're a fucking pussy

I swear a lot

I do say reclaimed slurs, like cunt (bc I have one) and queer bc I am queer (I know this isn't actually a slur, but I know some people who don't like the word despite knowing it isn't a slur) so if that really bothers you, you're welcome to unfollow me. I won't be offended

I am very opinionated, especially when I'm venting (I am most open when I'm upset or angry)

Genderbending is NOT transphobic. Sincerely, a trans person

How to fuck with bigoted cis people: Congratulate them for identifying as an "attack helicopter" or any other non-gender identifier they say to "own the trans people"

Neopronouns are valid and are usually meant for neurodivergent people

I don't take kindly to bigots of any kind

I don't tolerate people who won't tolerate minorities simply for not being part of the "norm"

I have no mercy for people who have no mercy for others

I have almost no faith in humanity (that doesn't mean I hate all humans. Its mainly the conservative side of humanity that I despise and wish would die off)

If you support JK Rowling, go fuck yourself, you transphobic scumbag

I believe violence against people like Nazis is actually a good thing. Soldiers committed violence against them in WW2, so why should it be any different today?

Sometimes violence IS the answer

Minorities deserve all the respect

If All Lives Matter, then why tf don't you act like everyone does?

I think it should be perfectly fine to punch an anti-masker since, legally, it would be self-defense (during this pandemic, these selfish pricks are willing to get you sick and killed, so making them get away from you through violence is self-defense)

I don't care about cisgender feelings bc they will never have to experience vile shit in their lifetime the same why I, a trans person, would (Trans POC have it even worse)

I do think white people are the most evil and corrupt of the human race. Obviously there are/were POC leaders that are/were horrendous people, but those numbers are so much smaller compared to the amount of white people, from past and present, that have committed the worst evil

The Royal family can go fuck themselves. I'm happy that Harry and Meghan severed such bigoted and corrupt ties when they did

Shut tf up, Piers Morgan, nobody fucking likes you, you dumb cunt

Anyone not Black can NEVER say the N word, idgaf if you're not using it derogatorily, its a slur that you cannot claim. This goes for any slur that you have no claims to

Only Black people are allowed to speak AAVE. Its their language, not yours

Black hairstyles are for Black people only

Women can be rapists too, stop claiming they can never do wrong bc that's bullshit

Some of you have never had abusive families or been bullied, and it shows

Minorities are allowed to be angry and educate you unkindly when you're being a dick (see "I don't care about cisgender feelings")

Dear cis white men, you have the most privilege, therefore your feelings don't matter either. You will never suffer the same hardships as everyone else. Even if you're LGBTQ+, you still have more privilege than everyone else and you need to work towards putting an end to your superiority as a white man. All white men have privilege, fucking deal with it

Dear non-Jewish white people in general (myself included) white people have always and will continue to have more privilege than anyone else on this planet so long as you continue to ignore your history of murder and violence and fail to end white violence and white supremacy in the present and future. This goes especially for white Americans. You're the worst group of people who are stupidly arrogant, so your hurt feelings don't matter. Go fuck yourselves

A Second Chance - Part 1 Whiskey x F!Reader

A/N: I had an idea for a slow burn with Whiskey i couldn’t shake. Reader is Agent Schorle ,a short, curvy female employee at Statesman (Not a field agent). She works in the ‘PR’ department and is good friends with Tequila. This is a mix between canon and Fanon Whiskey, set after Golden Circle so it rewrites canon and he’s not a secret bad guy, living past the events of the movie. But he is still a womanizer while he is single. Like with most my x reader fics its more OFC than a traditional reader but i change it up so it can be read as a reader fic, meaning the reader is more of a character. This chapter is just their introduction/first impressions.  Also! I AM NOT American, so if i get any shit about America wrong, IDGAF. Credits: No Beta reader. HMU if you wanna be one for this series

Title: A Second Chance Fandom: Kingsman; the Golden Circle. Ship: Agent Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels/Reader Warning:  Bit of womanizing behavior from Whiskey (Surprise surprise), it’s not rejected by the reader character so its consensual. Nothing else for this chapter. Heads up before you get invested, not in this chapter but there will be triggering stuff as part of the plot in later chapters, and there will be kids in later chapters too, just in case either of those things aren’t your cup of tea. No use of Y/N in this chapter. There are two narrative perspectives in this story, 3rd person Whiskey perspective and 2nd person Reader perspective. Promise not to flip between them too often. Word count: - 2K Master List - coming soon Request status AO3 Link - coming soon Next part - coming soon

The first thing Jack Daniels noticed was not the way her pencil skirt hugged her ass, or the way her blouse struggled to contain her breasts, as much as his colleagues would later claim. He was well aware of his reputation as a womanizer and didn't exactly blame them for that immediate assumption, it was what most people noticed first about her anyway, why would Jack Daniels, the womanizing Cowboy be any different? No, the thing he noticed first was her laugh. It was so warm, angelic, he was entranced hopelessly from the first moment he first heard it in the Statesman hallway. He would give his damn hat to hear that sound grace his ears again.

He had gravitated over to her immediately, joining in on the little conversation she was having with Tequila. He tried to be subtle, he really did, waltzing up to the two of them with his best, charming smile, checking her out as he did so and nodding a greeting at his colleague. She was short, and curvy, her attire was office professional, meaning she probably wasn't a field agent, tidy, small heels showing her shapely curves of her legs, and soft, professional curls hung loosely, framing her round face. She was gorgeous. “Hey there Tequila,” he smiled, before nodding in her direction. “You gonna introduce me to your pretty lil friend here?” She blushed slightly, he noticed, as she pushed some of her neat hair behind her ear, she had a small shy smile on her face too, ‘cute as a button’ he thought. “Ahhh come on Whiskey, leave her alone,” Tequila groaned dramatically, making her giggle. Jack couldn’t help his smile growing at the sound. “Now now Boy,” he chuckled, patting Tequila's shoulder. “You can’t be hiding this pretty little thing from me and not expect her to catch my eye,” he added, shooting her a playful wink. She hugged the files she was carrying closer to her chest, blushing more and avoided his eye contact. Jack might have assumed she was uncomfortable if that smile wasn’t still playing on her lips. “She’s off limits, Whiskey,” Tequila sighed. “I think she can make her own mind up about that,” Whiskey grinned, elbowing the younger agent. “She’s a big girl. Now come on, show some manners and introduce me.” She giggled again and Tequila groaned, pissed off that already Whiskey’s stupid southern charm was working already. “Whiskey,” he sighed, already expecting the ungodly amount of flirting that was about to rain down upon his friend. “This is Schorle. One of our ‘behind the scenes’ agents.’PR’ department.” Jack flashed her a crooked smile as Tequila continued, motioning to the senior agent. “Schorle, this is Whiskey. I’ve told you ‘bout him before.” “Oh, have you now?” Jack chuckled, he put his hands on his hips and faced her more directly. “All good things I hope?” he asked her. She gave him another shy smile and Jack felt his heart soar. “I am well aware of you Agent Whiskey, and not just from Tequila here,” she said, now his heart felt like it had skipped a beat. Her voice was as angelic as her laugh! “Again, I hope it's all good things,” he laughed.  “Most the time, yes,” she hummed playfully. “My main job is hiding Statesman true existence from the public eye.” She flashed him a more coy smile and his grin grew. “Which means i tend to hear about certain escapades, such as a cable car sledding down a mountain.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, laughing nervously. “You certainly don't make my job easy sometimes, Agent,” she teased. Jack's expression was one of pleasant surprise, she wasn’t as shy as she appeared. Tequila laughed, pleased his friend was at least able to bite back at the other man. “She’s still off limits old man,” the younger agent muttered to him. “I am not that much older than you,” Jack retorted, making her giggle some more. “And as i rightfully pointed out earlier, she can make up her own mind about me i am sure.” Tequila was about to bite back but she interrupted whatever thought he was about to say. “He’s right on that Tequila. I can make up my own mind,” she said, giving Jack another smile. “And right now my mind is telling me i need to get back to work.” She gave Jack a nod and Tequila a friendly wave as she turned on her heels and went back to wherever her office was. Whiskey let out a long whistle when she was out of earshot, admiring her ass as her hips swayed. His staring was interrupted by Tequila wacking him in the chest with the back of his hand. “Hey! I’m only looking!” he pouted. “She didn’t seem to have a problem with me.” “Dang it Whiskey she's my friend!” Tequila groaned. “Just leave her alone, she don’t need none of that. “ “She’s not married,and I know she ain’t your girl,” Jack remarked. “She’s still my friend Whiskey,” the younger agent sighed. “I don’t want her gettin’ hurt.” Jack frowned at him. “Hey now that’s not fair,” he said sternly. “I know I have a reputation an all but you’re acting like I plan on breaking her heart.” “She’s one of the nicest people I ever met, she doesn’t deserve to be your current flavor of the month,” Tequila defended. “Now I take personal offence to that Tequila,” Jack countered. “I would like to think myself a gentleman and my intentions are purely honorable.” “The way you were staring at her ass tells me otherwise,” Tequila mumbled. “C’mon Whiskey, you don’t even know her. She’s just another pretty piece of ass to you and we both know it.” Whiskey gave him a disappointed look. Slightly upset his friend would think so lowly of him, but he had to admit his reputation did nothing to counter it. “It’s really bothering you isn’t it?” he asked, sighing when Tequila nodded. “Fine, look, I won’t chase her. If it means that much to you,” he sighed in defeat. He was still enamored with her, but if hooking up with her bothered Tequila so much he wouldn’t in good conscience be able to do so. “That a promise?” Tequila asked, holding his hand out for Jack to shake and seal the deal. “Yeah,” he sighed, taking the offered hand. “She must mean a lot to you,” he added, only getting another nod in return from the younger man as they shook hands. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You first noticed Whiskey long, long before the two of you ever actually met in person. You hadn’t been joking about dealing with the results of his missions, constantly having to kill stories in the press or send out false reports to police and media so that Statesman’s business remained out of the public eye. Your ‘PR’ department was often quite busy, constantly searching social media to kill any evidence that might have been captured by the public. It was a 24 hour job, one you were in charge of now.

Years ago, when you were a new hire, just one of the lackeys, your first assignment was to comb through social media to kill any evidence of Whiskey’s latest mission. You hadn’t slept for two days during that time, surviving on caffeine and an ambition to make a good impression at your new job. You could vaguely remember complaining to one of your co-workers about the agent who had gone in guns (and Lasso) blazing without considering the fact that smart phones were now a thing and that the target was a very public figure. That was the first time you heard of him, as your more experienced co-worker gushed over his skills as an agent while you sat and seethed at the ungodly amount of work he had caused you on your first assignment.

You could look back on that memory fondly now, and since then your opinion of him had changed as you heard more and more about him. He was a skilled agent, had a strong sense of justice and always got the job done. Sure, his methods were sometimes a little unorthodox and he was often quick to jump into the fray, but there was no denying his skill. He was a senior agent for a reason after all. And of course, you had heard about his reputation, no woman in the office hadn’t. He would flirt with any pretty thing that caught his eye. You used to think that your co-workers that fell for his charm were foolish for falling for it, given his well known reputation among Statesman, but that was before you met him in person. You had seen him in passing before, from afar, or glimpses of him in the social media posts you killed, he was handsome, sure, but it was a whole different level when you met him face to face. You thought you were safe from his charm, believed you were smart enough not to fall for it should it happen to come your way, but you also doubted you would ever be on the receiving end of it. You had been in the same room as him plenty of times in the past and he had never paid any attention to you, and not to mention you didn’t exactly fit his usual type. You were short, plump, nothing like the field agents he was used to working with, women who were physically fit enough to work alongside him and fight. Not to say you thought you were completely unattractive, sure it sometimes bothered you that your blouse could barely contain your breasts and that your stomach and thighs were a little too soft for your liking, but you weren’t blind. You could see the not so subtle looks as you walked past, the way people would try to discreetly check out your ass as you walked. It was a confidence booster for sure. It just never occurred to you before that you would be Whiskeys type. So the day the two of you met officially, you couldn’t help the blushes, he was attractive, and paying attention to you, perhaps it wasn’t so hard to see why women fell for his charm even with his reputation. You were just like every other woman he flirted with, but when he spoke to you it made you feel special. You supposed that was the appeal, why it was so easy for him. It wasn’t until you had excused yourself from his company and were able to calm down that you began to chide yourself for falling for his charm. You reminded yourself of his reputation, as handsome and charming as he was you didn’t want to be just another roll in the hay for him.

You sighed as you made your way into your office. Now the head of Statesman’s ‘PR’ department you were officially considered an ‘agent’, the perks in which included your own private office. You dropped your files off before making your way inside, ready to get back to work, trying to ignore the way Whiskey's attention had made your heart flutter and pretend you weren’t looking forward  to seeing him again.

TAG LIST: None yet

Also I love my spouse so much because his alignment is pretty firmly in the Lawful Good territory.

This adorable marshmallow gets VERY upset if he accidentally breaks a law or thinks he might be in trouble for doing something he shouldn't. I'm not going to say some of it's not rooted in trauma, cause I'm sure some of it is, and I try to be as understanding as possible and avoid intentionally upsetting his sensibilities when it's something important to him. But like... this is honestly hilarious as a relationship dynamic because I hover more around neutral (good/true neutral). And the fact that I have zero respect for rules and laws on an average day drives him absolutely bonkers.

Like, I don't just go out and intentionally break laws for the sake of breaking them. It's more a difference between our perspectives in that he will adhere to a law completely and I figure many of them are more like guidelines and/or the risk of being caught breaking it is so low that I just don't give a fuck.

For instance, the spouse behaves like thus: a speed limit is a LIMIT and I will go exactly the limit or preferably a couple mph below the limit to ensure I am not in violation. Me, on the other hand? I figure that there's a 5mph wiggle room on any speed limit (except school zones and work zones, duh) so I usually go a couple mph over the limit without any anxiety. As you can imagine, he can get very anxious and upset when I drive, so I typically use cruise control to go EXACTLY the speed limit to avoid either of us getting terribly annoyed.

Another example: I will sometimes break social convention/expectations if I think it's stupid or inefficient. (Just to clarify, anything that's about my personal wellbeing and expression he 100% supports.) But anything that's just about my impatience or convenience will often just about gives him an aneurysm. For instance, there is a corded rope that is meant to guide someone through a winding line. There is currently no line and I would be next served if I entered the line. I will duck under the ropes or bypass them entirely if I can to just get the front of the line quicker. From my perspective, if there are no other people in line, then there's no functional/moral difference between me winding through the stupid line or taking a shortcut. None. But omg he will walk through the entire winding line every time because that's the "right" and "expected" thing to do. And it makes him very anxious that I don't do that. Because I am breaking a social expectation!! There is a line!! For a reason!! Use the line!! 😂

But anyway the reason I'm posting this is because yesterday we were in the car to go pick up groceries. A light turned yellow as he approached the intersection (at exactly the speed limit, natch). Yellow lights can be a bit stressful for him because they are a gray area. Do I keep going and risk running a red light (BAD!) or do I try to stop in time without throwing the passengers forward (throwing passengers ALSO BAD)? Do I have enough room to stop? Do I know how long this light usually stays yellow? Do I see cross-traffic coming that looks like it might result in an accident if I keep going?

I know how he tends to hesitate at yellow lights so I will typically say "Stop" or "Just go" based on what I see, and he'll follow what I suggest. I do tend to err on the side of "Stop" when suggesting action to him because, ya know, he's a bit particular about this stuff. I also tend to know about how long the yellow lights are in town (unsurprisingly, this is because I tend to keep going on a yellow and not stop when I'm the driver, LOL).

Anyway, he have our dogs with us in the car that day. And you should know that I've chided him in the past about how he can't make short stops due to yellows at an intersection because the dogs don't know a stop is coming and it will throw them forward in the car. They're buckled in and all, but they still get thrown hard just like a person does with a seatbelt and it's not pleasant. Probably even less so for them since they don't know to anticipate it.

So I see the light turn yellow, I see that we have a very short distance to try to stop while going 40mph, and I know that the yellow light is also *just* long enough that we'd be mid-intersection before it turned red.

But (sigh) right as I say, "Just go" the spouse starts to brake. He hears me say "Just go" and hits the gas again, but braking has already slowed us down which means we will no longer be mostly through the intersection by the time it turns red. When the light turns red both our axles are over the "white line" which at least means we aren't running a red light, but the situation is too gray for the spouse to be comfortable with it. He's now very worried we've run a red light. To make matters worse, there was a police officer at that intersection coming from the cross-traffic area and - of course - the cop turned in the same direction we were going.

Spouse was very upset and kept looking in his rearview, just sure this cop is going to pull him over for running a red light. Even after the cop turned onto a side street shortly after, the spouse wouldn't stop looking in the rearview mirror the whole way home. Not because he was worried about a police interaction or even that he thought a cop was somehow going to find him much later and pull him over. But because he just KNEW he'd run a red light and that he deserved to be chastised for breaking a law. Where is the cop coming to pull him over? Don't they know what I did? Didn't they SEE what I did?

He was incredibly flustered and there was no consoling him. The knowledge that he might have run a red light (even though, like, legally, he did not, but try convincing him of that) was just too great an emotional burden.

How? How did this person marry ME, the "idgaf" person who is like "fuck your stupid rules"? The person who almost always hits the gas on yellow? I know I caused him all sorts of anxiety while dating because of my nature and still, he was like "Yep, they're the one for me!" I fucking can't, it's so hilarious. He made the decision to marry someone that would certainly cause him daily anguish just by being who they are. I just.... 😂😂😂

Helsaweek 2020 Day 1: Swap

(or tumblr’s apparently being a butt but idgaf i’mma post this and head out)

I’ve done things like power swaps or gender swaps or kingdom swaps before (at least in my head), and I wanted to do something different this time, sooooo...introducing amount-of-siblings swap!

-----

In the beautiful kingdom of Arendelle, there were once thirteen fair princesses; although the kingdom had only ever seen two of them, for around the time the third was being carried the king and queen had suddenly closed the gates to the castle without warning. Stories were told, by the servants and traders who went in and out, of a group of perfectly normal, lovely girls. Yes, they all had their quirks, but none seemed to have any affliction that would justify hiding them away. Rumors were spread as well: questions of parentage, a hidden 14th child born with some terrible curse and locked away, a secret illness that affected only royalty…or perhaps something to do with the eldest child, Elsa, since she was almost never seen outside of her rooms.

But surely she was just engrossed in her studies, preparing herself to become the new queen after her parents had been lost. After all, the older townsfolk had met Elsa when she was younger, and she had been a perfectly normal, sweet young girl. Whatever had caused her parents cut themselves off from the kingdom, it surely had nothing to do with her…

---

“Alright, that’s enough! Dina, don’t play huntress with Frida’s Mr. Deer! Ingrid, stop trying to give Cathrine a makeover! Gunda, Hilda, stop fighting! Jorunn, we can go see the horses later! Klara, Linda…”

“You’re fine.” Brigitta says from behind her. “Now let’s all get ready for bed, we have a big day tomorrow.”

Anna sighs in relief, and mentally thanks Brigitta. At least one of her little sisters is acting responsible tonight.

“We want to make a good first impression on the peasants, after all.”

…Or maybe not.

“Yeah, c’mon. You don’t want them to get mad at us and rebel and drag us all to the guillotine.”

“Cathrine, no one is being guillotined tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see ‘em try!”

“Hilda, please don’t try to fight anyone.”

“…Will they even like us?”

“Linda, of course they will.”

“Why should we even care about Elsa’s coronation?”

Anna turned to Mathilde, the youngest of the thirteen sisters of Arendelle, slumped over on a couch looking bored. “Because she’s your big sister, and she’s going to be queen! We’ve all been waiting for this day for years, we need to support her-”

“Why should I care about someone I barely know?”

Anna flinched. “It’s true, that…Elsa hasn’t been around much lately…or spent much time with us…but I’m sure she’s just been…very busy! With…studying to be queen! And all!”

Mathilde glared. “That’s a lame excuse. She always ignores us.”

“She’s not…a bad person, really…”

“Yeah, I know, you always say you used to be “best friends” or whatever. But you’re the only one of us who’s ever seen her act like a real sister!”

Anna looked around, panicked, as most of the other girls began to nod and whisper in agreement.  

“She never talks to us.”

“She’s never played with us.”

“She rarely even comes down for dinner.”

“She left you alone.”

Anna turned to Klara, confused. “Left me alone?”

Klara looked at her sadly. “After mom and dad died. She left you to raise us all on your own.”

And Anna had no answer for that.

 -------

In the small kingdom known as the Southern Isles, there were once two princes. Although you might not have remembered at first, because the elder brother was so boisterous and dazzling that it was easy to forget the younger one even existed. Prince Torvald was remarkable; an accomplished hunter, a spectacular storyteller, able to charm even the most aloof noble, and sure he could be a bit boorish and egotistical at times, but he was a prince! It was to be expected, right?

“We should be grateful we even have a prince at all, let alone two.” People would whisper. “The poor queen had been trying for decades to bear the king a worthy heir, rest her soul.”

“Not sure the other one was worth her effort, though.” Others would grumble. “What’s his name…Hans? What has that one ever done that Prince Torvald didn’t do better? Well, at least we have a spare…”

---

“Is it not a fine day at sea, little brother? Clear skies, calm waters…and across the ocean, the quaint, little, unimportant country of Arendelle awaits the blessed presence of future King Torvald the Mighty!”

Hans tried very hard to suppress a sigh. *Arendelle is bigger than the Southern Isles* he grumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“If…Arendelle is so “unimportant”, as you say…why did you bother to come with me?”

“A King never passes up an opportunity to impress other rulers with his might! That’s a lesson you should remember…or not, I suppose.”

*Since I’ll never be a king, you mean*

“Also, I have heard tell that the future queen is quite beauteous. Perhaps she shall prove worthy of the honor of becoming my bride.”

*That was my plan, damn it!*

Torvald laughs obnoxiously and slaps Hans on the back, almost knocking him off his feet. “Fear not, little brother! I have also heard that she has many younger sisters! Perhaps one of them shall take pity on you!”

Sitron knickers at him in concern. Hans shakes it off. “Yes…perhaps. I – um, should go…check on the horses.”

Torvald laughs again and sends him off with another hearty slap. Hans sighs heavily as he tends to Sitron.

“I’m alright, boy.” He murmurs to the horse. “And who knows? Maybe the queen will be smart enough to see my brother for what he really is, and…who am I kidding? She’ll never look at me.”

-----

 (I imagine how this goes is that:

- Hans still meets and bonds with Anna but Torvald swoops in and grabs her attention away since Elsa is ignoring him (and he’s jealous Hans is getting attention for once)

- Elsa still freaks out and runs, Anna still goes after her by herself and leaves Torvald and Hans in charge, Torvald spends most of the time posturing and giving grandiose speeches while Hans actually works to take care of the people and ends up bonding with the other princesses as well

- at the castle Torvald makes Hans go in first and he actually has a conversation with Elsa and bonds with her

- in the end Torvald talks Hans into killing Elsa (because he doesn’t want to dirty his hands, plus then he can make Hans take the blame if things go bad), but Hans hesitates so Torvald tries to do it himself but Anna stops him

- Torvald gets sent back but Hans decides to stay (and clean up his brother’s mess), the sisters all basically adopt him as their new unofficial big brother alongside Kristoff, the end)

 Might expand on this later (like designing the new siblings, or maybe WRITING SOME ACTUAL HELSA IN INSTEAD OF JUST HINTING AT IT.)

Bios for the au siblings under the cut:

I basically just ran down the list of Norwegian girl names for this one (one from each of the first 13 letters that aren’t “a” or “e”), so let me throw out some basic entomology/character stuff for the swap siblings:

Brigitta: 3rd child, in this ‘verse Idunn was probably pregnant with her when the accident happened. Goes between helping Anna keep the younger ones in line and causing problems herself. Has a bit of a superiority complex regarding her status as a princess - acts like she must be better than everyone outside the gates, but really it’s a coping mechanism to help her deal with the isolation she feels. Name means “resolute, strength”.

Cathrine: Name possibly derives from the goddess of witchcraft Hectate, so she’s the spooky, playfully morbid one. Level-headed when she’s not creeping the younger ones out by joking about death. Dina is her younger twin.

Dina: Name comes from the goddess Diana; Roman equivalent to Artemis, goddess of the moon and hunts. She picked up her love of hunting from the hunters who would come and sell fresh meat to the castle cooks, and spend her time stalking the other girls (and their stuffed animals) and sneak-attacking them with her toy bow and arrows.

Frida: Name means “peace”.  A quiet nature-lover who hates conflict, which is ironic because she’s one of a set of triplets and the other two are the most aggressive of the bunch. Ends up being the target of the more aggressive girls a lot because she doesn’t want to fight back, and she’d rather they pick on her than one of the younger girls.

Gunda and Hilda: Names mean “war” and “battle” respectively, and they live up to them. The typical red-headed identical twin duo that’s always causing trouble (except they’re triplets and the other one doesn’t want to play along). Dina can either be their ally or their rival depending on the situation.

Ingrid: Name means “beautiful”- basically she’s the one obsessed with fancy clothes and trying to do everyone’s makeup.

Jorunn: Name means “horse lover” …yeah. Obsessed with horses, spends way too much time in the stables and comes back kinda smelly, biggest dream is to ride freely through the fields of Arendelle, possibly has headcanons of what breed of horse each of her family members would be (with accompanying fanart).

Klara: Name means “clear, bright”. Intelligent and honest, sometimes to a fault. Although she doesn’t like upsetting people, she won’t shy away from telling hard truths. Linda is her twin.

Linda: The most gentle and sensitive of the girls, easily stressed and has a hard time objecting to others because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings. Gets along best with Frida, who tries to protect her from the more rambunctious girls. Name means “soft, mild”.

Mathilde: The youngest of the bunch. Acts out a lot because she knows she can get away with it. Her name means “battle strength”, and she lives up to it by being the most strong-willed and stubborn of the bunch.

 As for Hans’ older brother, he had to be really obnoxious to make up for the fact that there’s only one of him instead of twelve. Torvald means “Thor’s ruler”, and I basically based him off Thor at the beginning of his first movie (minus any of the good traits) – he’s brash, egotistical, and takes his little brother for granted. Unlike Thor, he’s also an emotionally abusive dirty coward with no respect for women or anyone he deems “weaker” than himself (which is pretty much everyone except his father).

(Even though Hans stays in Arendelle in this ‘verse, I think he might end up going back and becoming king of the Southern Isles someday just because I can easily see the kingdom deciding its sick of Torvald’s shit and kicking him out. Maybe he and Elsa end up in a long-distance thing, or they unite their kingdoms or something idk how this works.)