#idek what i'm tagging anymore lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madefate · 1 month

Text

NAME?: claire

PRONOUNS?: she / they

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: blitzø, loona, bee, striker

RP PET PEEVES?: honestly idek anymore ?? the usual stuff bothers me - shitty anons, really excessive drama, etc. one niche pet peeve is when people assume that being "anti" whatever - uncritically shipping adults and minors and things along those lines - makes you some sort of militant prude? i simply feel the world is hard enough & the least you can do is tag your shit. but for the most part if i don't like something i just block & move on, and i never find any trouble these days.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: i was talking about this with clarke & boy oh BOY, so technically i started a letter writing game with my best friend when i was a sophomore in high school, & then the next year was introduced to the world of xanga & i've never been the same. so - about 17 years!

EXPERIENCE?: looseleaf or emails, xanga, various forums, skype, tumblr, occasionally discord

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: honestly i'm an angst bitch. i was never really comfortable with writing smut until more recently, but even then i'm just like? mostly fine with it. fluff is super cute for little things, but it doesn't always spark my ADHD brain if there's not enough plot. angst is where it's AT for me - DIG into the trauma, LASH out, HAVE those ptsd responses, GET mad, DISCOVER something new! it doesn't even have to be angst - things like action! drama! whatever's really juicy and forces the characters to change / grow / admit something / break down / develop over the course of the thread, that's what i WANT.

PLOTS OR MEMES?: MEMES PLS. again, embracing ADHD here but 9 times out of 10, if i try to plot something i literally don't know what to say (unless it's an AU / canon divergence, etc). i'd rather just someone send me an ask or starter and i can let my thoughts race and write something that feels organic.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: i write so. fucking. much. and i won't apologize. however! i've been having fun w/ one liners recently.

TIME TO WRITE?: i try to type away at things at work, like draft some replies, but usually it's evenings and weekends!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: oh you mean the trauma of always feeling like you're failing and needing to be needed? lmao yes absolutely. however! since i'm a healthy bitch now, i ALSO put my therapy lessons into them! (eventually.) i also like to give my characters some of my own quirks or hobbies, so sometimes you get a little claire easter egg ;) obviously there are huge differences, but my emotions totally affect the characters i'm drawn to.

tagged. @fizzarollitm & @helldustedstories ty bbs! tagging. steal it from me!

#( ooc. )#( mun. )#( dash games. )

2 notes · View notes

moonysdora · 10 months

Note

hey! Welcome back!

I just wanted to let you know that yesterday I was hunting down the Remadora tag (average Sunday). I managed to stumble across one of your oldish posts, and I was thinking to myself “aw man I remember her, such a shame she hasn’t been active in a while. I hope she’s doing alright” and was remembering how much I used to love the memes you made. 💀 now it’s like 4am and I suddenly woke up, the first thing I did was open tumblr (bc ofc I would) and go through my activity feed. And I cannot explain the feeling of pure happiness that was rushing through me when I saw your url 😭 You literally just made the rest of my day, I’ve also just seen your most recent answer to an ask about your lack of motivation to write fics and I’m hoping you get more motivation soon bc you’ve always been an amazing addition to the Remadora fandom <3

anyway I’m about to go back to sleep but I just wanted to tell you about this strange coincidence, idek if you’ll see this lmao but I wish you the best! have a great day! 💖💖

Awwwwwww you're so sweet, thank you so much <33

I'm doing good, but as I said in the last post, I'm just not really into HP anymore... and there's no hate, I just moved on from my obsession (I got to admit I was incredibly obsessed with Remadora at one point). Occasionally, I log in to here to see what's up because Remadora will truly be in my heart forever <3

Thank you again for thidms message, I really appreciate it, and you've also made my day :)

#remus lupin #nymphadora tonks #remadora #harry potter #remus x tonks #tonks

10 notes · View notes

zanarkandfayth · 1 year

Text

15 Questions

I was tagged by @ivorydice, thanks!

Tagging just... whoever. I don’t feel well and I don’t wanna think lmao

1. Are you named after anyone?

Well, I took "fayth" from Final Fantasy X because I adore the fayth so much and to me it's a gender neutral name. It started out combined with zanarkandfayth as a username idek when, late 2000s, and then just gradually evolved into me calling myself fayth. My legal name, no. My first name was apparently just easy for my dad to spell and my middle name is french because my mom likes the language. I hate both names and they can fuck off lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh... I have a hard time crying these days even though I want to. Almost did last night because surgery recovery has been a bitch, does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. Don't want them. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for another human being? And I did not win the gene lottery and the world sucks, I'm not inflicting this miserable existence on someone else.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, though less than I used to because even sarcasm is effort and I'm tired.

5. What sports do you/have you played?

I liked basketball as a kid, and baseball, though I wasn't any good at either. I used to like to run. Uuuh I also did taekwondo as a kid for a couple years? idk if a martial art counts as a sport though.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Hair... idk it's usually the most noticeable thing to me. Except that guy who came through my line at DT once who was about seven feet tall, I definitely noticed his height first.

7. Eye colour?

Mine? Boring brown. Will forever hate it.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I used to like/not mind scary movies when I was younger, but now I need the feel good chemicals. Also I don't watch movies anymore. Legit could not name the last movie I've watched at this point.

9. Any special talents?

Making my readers cry lmao. No, idk. What's considered special? What's considered a talent? I don't want to stand out.

10. Where were you born?

Southern US, the same miserable state I exist in now, good ole Tennessee, though I'm now at the opposite end of it from where I was born/grew up. It's worse on this end for sure.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, video games, cooking... I'd say reading but I don't do that as much as I used to. The guilt of not having the energy to comment on fics gets to me and so I just don't read at all instead :/

12. Do you have any pets?

A shithead named Max. He's a flamepoint siamese cat that an old neighbour rescued from where he'd been abandoned on the side of the road and me and my ex ended up taking him in. My ex named him (after mad max apparently and I hate his name lol) but he attached himself to me so when I kicked the ex out a couple years later for being an abusive cheating narcissistic asshole, Max stayed with me. He turned ten this May but he still zooms around the house like a kitten. I love him but my health problems have made it increasingly hard to take care of him so he's going to be my last cat.

13. How tall are you?

5'2, forever sobbing

14. Favourite subject in school?

English was the only one I really enjoyed just because it was so easy. When I did university for the third time (the one I actually graduated from lmao), I also really liked most of my sociology classes, enough to make it a second degree, and I liked my scottish history class. If I could afford a third degree it'd probably be in history.

15. Dream job?

At this point? Nothing. Being a stay at home husband (with no kids, yes), or being an eternal university student just taking classes and getting degrees for the heck of it would be my ideal. I would also like to try my hand at making my own video game, but a) I can't art for shit, and b) chronic fatigue makes even starting on learning coding too daunting. I don't even have the energy I want for my current hobbies.

#fifteen questions #I love having an excuse to talk about myself #lmao #it was a nice distraction from how terrible I feel #turns out surgery recovery is your body finding new ways #to torment you every couple of days #real life #ignore me

6 notes · View notes

gillianthecat · 1 year

Note

hi gillian! you have so much to say about all the bls you watch (this is definitely not a bad thing, i enjoy reading what other people think about our shared interests) but i was just wondering how did you survive being a lurker? did you write your thoughts anywhere or did you just kept them to yourself? i struggle with this myself, i feel like i have so much to say about everything, but i don't really say it or share it, i happily read other people's opinions and silently agree or disagree idek where i'm going with this lmao i guess i'm just curious to know such a "talkative" and person as you was once a lurker

Hi Anon!

So interestingly, when I was a lurker I didn't watch BL at all, barely knew what it was. I joined Tumblr because of a hockey romance writer (Taylor Fitzpatrick, I'm still a big fan of her work) and then mostly started following fanfic writers. Because I mostly read fanfic for media I don't read/watch or for sports RPF in sports I don't follow (which I know makes me a bit of an outlier) I didn't have much to say about the source materials. And because my tendency when writing about stuff is to be pretty analytical and to pick works apart even when I love them, that wasn't something I was going to do in public on tumblr where any of the authors (many of whom I followed) could see it. That just felt invasive. All of which is to say, being a lurker came very naturally to me at the time; it honestly didn't really occur to me to do anything else. And I didn't write my thoughts down or share them with anyone else, my fanfic reading (indeed most of my reading) had always felt like a private part of myself. I had plenty of thoughts and comparative analyses, etc, but it just kind of bubbled up in my brain and then disappeared.

My transition into posting on here about BL happened fairly spontaneously, pretty much immediately after I started watching BL; I don't really remember consciously deciding to make that change. Perhaps I did, and it's fallen out of my mind, I do remember being a little anxious the first time I reblogged something with comments of my own, feeling worried that I would bother people or people would think I was weird or something. On the other hand, my reblog was about Pete and Vegas' kink-filled explicit sex scene, so I must not have been that nervous 😂 I do remember tagging a lot of my posts "#my ramblings" early on; that self depreciation helped me mitigate my self-consciousness about whether my words were "worthwhile." Which I've come to the surety (at least on most days) is a meaningless concept here on tumblr, people can follow you or block you, you're not forcing your words in anyone's face. Seeing all the silly stuff that does get posted has helped me get over the feeling that I'm supposed to be making "worthwhile" content.

It's very freeing (especially as a former perfectionist who once felt she had to read and analyze every single one of an author's dozen or so novels* in order to write a term paper on him) to realize that I don't have to be an expert on anything to write about it on here. I can write in the voice that I want to, and use too many adjectives and adverbs and run-on sentences, and not feel like I have to write concisely or "properly" or even "understandably" if I don't feel like it. I can just share my thoughts and reactions and even be wrong (gasp!) or ignorant (the horrors!) and nothing bad will happen. I've been fortunate in that no one has been hateful or even slightly rude to me yet (the QL community seems particularly kind, even for tumblr), but if it ever does happen, that block button is a powerful tool.

One interesting side effect (or perhaps cause, who knows how these chains of causality are linked) is that I almost never watch episodes of shows straight through anymore. I used to be a binge watcher, a whole season (or more!) in one go with barely a break. Now I almost always pause many many times an episode. Sometimes just to take a break, sometimes to write down my thoughts in the notes app or something (i'll often have two devices in front of me at once, or switch back and forth between apps/tabs/programs) or to liveblog here on tumblr. I'm now pretty much incapable of watching a show without feeling the urge to write about it. Which is both good and bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

In terms of what actually happened to get me posting: I think sometimes (like today) my brain just overflows and then I start writing and the self-consciousness mostly falls to the wayside. Which isn't a helpful suggestion if that's not what your brain does, but it is what happened.

The Advice Part:

I have a couple of ideas for you, based on possible things that could be holding you back from participating. If it's that you feel self-conscious, you can keep doing what you're doing now and sending anonymous thoughts to other bloggers. Not everyone accepts anon asks, but most people who do are happy to publish them and have a conversation with people on anon. Or you could create a sideblog, or even an entire separate blog that you use to post your thoughts about BL, in a way that might feel even more safely anonymous than your regular tumblr. You don't even have to tag anything or follow anyone if you want the cocoon of being relatively invisible while expressing your thoughts. Then, if that starts to feel more comfortable you could start tagging, or reblogging other people's stuff, and start sharing your ideas more publicly. Or stay in that cocoon forever; there is no reason to leave if that's what feels comfortable!

Or you could start (assuming you don't already) by reblogging stuff and adding comments in the tags. And if that starts to feel less scary, or like not enough room for what you want to say, you could shift to reblogging with comments in the... whatever its called, the not tags. And replying rather than reblogging might feel a little safer - it's not quite so public, only the original poster or those who intentionally look into the notes will see it.

If the issue is that you feel overwhelmed by all your ideas, or all the shows, you could pick one or two shows to talk about. Or one or two bloggers to reply to. Or set a goal for yourself of one post a week/a day/whatever works. Just something to create some structure for yourself to make it feel less overwhelming.

Looking back over your ask, I'm not even sure you were looking for advice, but... uh... here some is anyways? Feel free to write back! With questions about this, anything else, or just to chat some more. Or for an anonymous venue for your thoughts!

(One last piece of practical advice, inspired by my computer just dying on me as I was finishing this up. Save Your Drafts! Save early and often. Save whenever you have to navigate away from the editing page. Most of the time the post editor is pretty good. And it even has an autosave function now, at least sometimes, under certain conditions. Which has saved me before from losing stuff, but it's not a surefire thing. So, since it's a pain to try and recreate something painstakingly written, I do highly recommend saving early and often.)

*the novelist was Ayi Kwei Armah, for anyone curious. and it must have been less than a dozen books. but it felt like a lot. sadly I remember very little of either the books or the term paper now.

p.s. I am like so unbelievably flattered by you coming to me for advice and wanting to know my story. i'm flattered by any and all asks i've ever gotten, really. so thank you 😊

#my ramblings #wow that's a lot of words #which were tags i used a bunch early on #but feel appropriate to add here #gillianthecat likes to talk about herself #which i always kind of knew by tumblr has freed me up to actually do it #anon asks #asks answered #advice #about gillianthecat #e

6 notes · View notes

zerodaryls · 1 year

Text

this is probably an unpopular opinion but I really think a lot of phobias could be overcome if people took the time to intentionally trigger themselves (i.e. exposure therapy).

before I go any further, I'm not fucking saying that triggering other people's phobias is okay. I'm not saying "I'm intentionally not tagging topics that are widely known to be triggers because y'all just need to suck it up and cope". if you trigger someone on purpose you're a fucking asshole.

but I do think that we coddle ourselves too much, especially in online spaces. I've seen trigger lists on Discord servers that are a mile long. and I know a lot of triggers pertain to PTSD and other issues, and that's totally valid and not something I'm qualified to address. but that's not what I'm talking about here.

I'm talking about certain types of irrational phobias (not things like an intense fear of assault, or other phobias that are based in more realistic concerns -- I've got those, too, and I doubt that "exposure therapy" would help anyone get over those fears; that's what professional therapy is for).

I'm talking about things we have no real business being afraid of, lol.

like, for me, it was spiders (and many other types of bugs; still working on learning to be okay with some of them!)

I think a lot of trigger lists end up serving as a way for people to just keep reinforcing and living in their irrational phobias.

but like...

a phobia is not a life sentence!

estimated reading time under the cut: 4.5 minutes

I swear some people cling to phobias like it's a core part of their identity. I know I did that to an extent with my arachnophobia.

but I'm happy to announce that I'm not afraid of spiders anymore.

I actually really fucking love them and am constantly looking around my home to see if there's a new spider buddy chillin' on the wall.

and before anyone comes in with their skepticism and tries to say "oh then maybe you just never really had arachnophobia to begin with", I know myself and my experiences best. I had arachnophobia.

if someone so much as talked about their own experiences with spiders, I would tense up.

on multiple occasions I would end up shaking and unable to sleep if I spotted a spider anywhere in my home, let alone in my room.

I once abandoned my apartment for an entire day and stayed at my mom's house because there was a big hairy spider outside. it wasn't even in the apartment! it was on the balcony! I rarely even went on the balcony, but I was so fucking arachnophobic back then that I was paranoid that this 8-legged buddy would somehow manage to squeeze in through a crack in the door and... honestly idek what I was afraid would happen after that... it would be in my home?? so??

yeah, I definitely had arachnophobia.

even just photos or videos of spiders triggered me. my hands would literally start shaking if I saw a picture of, like, some Big Boi Spider on a wall in Australia or something, lmao. I would get heart palpitations. I even teared up a few times. and mind, this was in my 20s. I was an adult crying over an image of a spider.

eventually I realized how much my arachnophobia affected me, and I remembered some cheesy Pinterest quote about "interrupting anxiety with curiosity" or something, and I decided to give it a try.

I decided to become curious about spiders. when I would see a spider, I'd ask, "what kind of spider is that?"

I started googling descriptions of spiders when I encountered them, and trying to figure out what exact species I was looking at.

it was uncomfortable as fuck the first dozen or so times. I still experienced extreme anxiety. but I kept at it, and reminded myself to be curious. what was it that I was actually afraid of? how realistic was that fear? is that type of spider even venomous? what does their venom do? are they likely to bite, or do they avoid humans as much as possible? (fun fact: very rarely will any species of spider bite a human just for funsies. they straight up don't want to fuck with us!)

you can show me just about any picture of a spider at this point and I'm good. I will even seek them out! I follow a bunch of spider accounts on social media and my suggested posts are at least 50% videos of freaky lil bugs (affectionate).

my dad bought me spider stuffed animals as gifts for my birthday and Christmas. he said he never imagined that I'd want something like that in my life. neither did I!

if you'd told me even just a year ago that I would overcome my phobia of spiders (and moths! nearly forgot about how much moths used to freak me tf out), I wouldn't have believed you.

but here I am.

my next mission is to conquer trypophobia. and I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. I fucking hate seeing clusters of holes n' shit, it really freaks me out. but because those kinds of patterns aren't always avoidable, it'd be really great if I could encounter them without having a panic attack. so, I'm going to be forcing myself to look a little longer every time I see that shit.

ditto pregnancy; I've had severe tokophobia since I was a teen. it's not fucking contributing to my life, and now my best friend's wife is pregnant, and I wanna be able to cheer them on during this exciting journey! I don't wanna be grimacing every time they share updates! they're gonna be moms, for fuck's sake, and my dumbass irrational fear has no business getting in the way of that joy (especially since we need more examples of queer joy and queer families to celebrate right now)!

so, the tokophobia's gotta go. any fear I encounter in myself, I want to do my damndest to work through it, not avoid ever being triggered. I want to have more confidence in myself than that.

and yeah, I know, not all phobias are the same. and I'm sure we can come up with dozens of excuses to wallow in our fear.

but like. I truly believe that Fear is enemy no. 1 in life. that behind every evil thing humans have ever done, you can usually track it all back to some underlying Fear that they hadn't learned how to cope with.

and obviously I'm not saying that your fear of bugs or holes or pregnant people is going to make you commit atrocities, lmao.

but like. for me, personally, seeing the damage that fear does to the human spirit... I don't want that shit anywhere on me.

I want to go through life knowing that I'm bold and brave and that I consistently choose to stare my discomfort in the face and tell it that it doesn't have power over me.

if I'm gonna have a phobia of anything, it's gonna be fear itself.

#really didn't mean to quote FDR at the end there but oh well. lol #also ended up rambling far longer than I intended this post to be #but what can ya do. ADHD / autism and I got a lotta thoughts.#anyway. I gently encourage y'all to join me in the fight against our own fears.#we're bossass bitches and nothing has the right to hold so much power over us #empower yourself dude. you're so much stronger and more capable than you realize. I promise.

2 notes · View notes

stickers-on-a-laptop · 2 years

Text

BL tag game

tagged by @lelephantsnail! thinking time lmao

All-Time Favorite BL Character and Why?

Okay you know what? Fuck off it is time for my boy Akk of Hotel Stars to SHINE. My boy, in the show no one but me and @lee-donghun liked, was just. Holy shit. The CONVOS we had on this dude. Imagine the most bi character you've ever seen in your life, like he's clearly bi and surrounded by other queer people, stating quite seriously and not at ALL homophobically, that the gayest couple in the group "seems pretty straight." He clearly likes the girl! And she's great! But he also sabotages EVERYTHING for his boy Tone! IT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

One Character You Want to Punt Into the Stratosphere

Really truly honestly? Someone from a popular BL that I will not say. Cause I do not quite trust the fandom other than my tiny corner where we were all like "are y'all GOOD." Sorry. :/

Best Music Moment from a BL

You know, the problem is is that I get very embarrassed during like singing parts and I'm also pretty bad at like paying attention to the music. But my favorite OST would be the SOTUS theme song.

A Popular Het Text You’d Like to See as a BL

As problematic as it is, I do love a good CEO/employee. So probably that. The office BLs I've seen so far like equals or boss, not specifically CEO. Thanks Aaron Yan, that's your fault. (There's like. 3 CEO/employee dramas with him. I loved them all.)

BL Scene that Makes You Laugh

Okay this is gonna be such a niche one but jesus CHRIST the fantasies in 8.2 Byo no Hosoku. Especially the one with my boy Geiz of Zi-O. I haven't even SEEN Zi-O yet. I was losing my goddamn mind.

Biggest BL Disappointment

Probably 7 Project. They fucked up BounPrem! How do you do that??? And the girls' story sucked! For what?? I had to drop it after ep 4 I was so annoyed. OH WAIT NO. Gen Y. What the hell. It was supposed to be our og 2moons cast making fun of 2moons. Instead it sucked and had that weird "we had sex when you were drunk" "joke" that I HATE.

2 Random Characters Who Would Make Hilarious Exes

You know who would be a hilarious ex? Tops of Ingredients. You will simply not get his food anymore. He can and will ignore you extremely well. I do not think he'd be a fun ex to have in real life, which makes him funny in fiction. Idk who'd be another hilarious ex lmao.

Who Would Be the Funniest Person to Watch a BL in Its Entirety And Which One Would You Make Them Watch

You know, I'd SAY Mob from Zettai BL but he'd probably watch them all on his own to prepare to not be gay. Not that it works. (Manifesting s3!!!) So I'd have to say...hmmm...man idek. I'm having trouble even remembering what's like a BL and what's just like...queer as I look over my list lmao. Maybe make Tsuge watch Utsukare.

Best Wardrobe Moment? Character or Otherwise

You seem to think I remember wardrobes. I do not. I am the person who has 10,000 graphic tees and 5 pairs of shorts and 2 pairs of jeans. I do not notice clothes unless it's like REALLY eye catching.

tagging: @incandescentflower @funyasm @yougetsomekisses

#this is hard to do when the toku brain rot is stronger than the bl rot

5 notes · View notes

ryuusjacket · 1 year

Text

i'm Still experiencing a lot of difficulty conceptualizing this fic of mine i wanna write... like, for the moment at least, i've lost a lot of the inspiration i had to even Want to write a story. idek what i'm doing w it anymore agghh it sucks!!!!

however... i think i might have found a number one motivator out of all the reasons why i want to do this fic. and THAT is bc i keep getting bummed the FUCK out every night when i hop into the sskk tag on ao3 for a nice bedtime story bc ppl just. keep writing aku in ways that i really fucking hate!! lmao like PLEASE OMG... it's hard for me to look forward to my reading sessions bc it's just so goddamn easy to read a shitty fic where my faves are characterized in all the wrong ways!! even tho... ok i Am kind of. picky about how aku specifically is portrayed bc yeah i do like him on the softer side and i think that already puts me in a noticeable minority in the fandom... and then i only make matters worse bc i always only ever want aku to be autistic-coded and a huge dork and a kind sweetheart and sexually submissive and a turbo virgin and a crybaby and etc etc etc. so lmao okay i Am just making this hard on my own.

BUT!!!!!! THAT'S WHYYYY WRITING MY OWN FIC IS IMPORTANT!!! i can write aku just the right way and hhh... already just the Thought of being able to create more stories w this kind of aku is like... it's like looking at a beautiful sunrise... just over the horizon... is everything i've ever loved and wanted... i just have to reach out...!!!! AND FUCKING WRITE SOME FIC!!!!!!! 😤😤😤💓💓💓

3 notes · View notes

kuiinncedes · 3 years

Text

#this is pretty long be warned before opening the tags XD sorry lol #feel free to ignore honestly like typing shit out kinda helps sometimes so yeah #hoo boy i have been thinking about this for so long so idk where this is gonna go lmao #but for some reason i'm like tearing it apart in my head tonighttt so i'm gonna ramble a lil bit #in middle school i was like . such an 'overachiever' like i have a very distinct memory of being at my friend's house w her &another friend #and idek what it was about but they called me an overachiever and it probably wasn't in a bad way #but like i think ... somehow my middle/high school and/or my friends made me feel like it was bad... to try???#idk i'm sure it's all internalized shit but there definitely was the culture at my school of like #everyone procrastinates everyone bullshits everything etc #and i think that affected me so fucking hard bc i wanted to fit in and feel like i belonged #but now i feel kinda shitty about myself bc i feel like i Don't work hard and don't actually try for Anything anymore #it wasn't even like the people at my school were all like that and besides #we went to an ib school it was the number 1 school in the state when i graduated so everyone had to Try #but idk it sounds like a fucking annoying humble brag thing ugh but i feel like i stopped trying so hard... but still did fine in school ..#so that kind of incentivized me not trying hard bc i was still doing well so why put so much effort in #but like Today i just at this internship rn i feel like i've been lowering the expectations for myself so fucking much #bc a huge part of me just does not want to do any work #i'm messing this up haha yeah idk there's a Lot on my mind lately #also bc my brother is like an 'overachiever' kind of 'stereotypical' asian good student etc #he procrastinates too but like he has a million extracurriculars and stuff and like leadership and all that good shit the colleges want #idk i had like . two extracurriculars and i'm at a good university #but i feel like ... i guess i feel like it's not deserved... imposter syndrome or whatever #this has gone in a different direction lol idk how to bring it back idk what my original point was XD #it's just a problem right now bc i'm not Assertive that's the thing #i just sit and wait for other people to tell me what to do i don't want to draw attention to myself or i guess raise people's expectations #too high idk this all sounds pretty normal as i'm typing it out lol #but i think the Assertive thing is really what's holding me back rn #and i know i need to *work on that* but yeah idk how i guess shgkhfjdfkflsgh #i'm gonna end this here lmfao *olivia rodrigo voice* i think i think too much #jeanne talks

4 notes · View notes

paperstorm · 4 years

Note

oh my god, Thank God!!! There IS actually someone other than me, who believes Chris E. is a Bottom!!! So just to make sure: How about Steve? I believe he IS a Bottom as well ;)

It is one of my life’s passions. No hate no shade that man just needs to be dicked down.

And hell yes I’m here for bottom Steve! To be clear I’m not exclusive to bottom/top anybody tbh, I almost never have a preference for that when I ship, I like the characters together in whatever way a good author wants to put them! I just want them loving on each other, I’m not picky about how it gets done. But because I’m also a contrary little bastard I always find myself getting particularly attached to whichever position seems to be the less popular one in the fandom generally hehe. Hence my love of bottom Chris, which is far rarer than bottom Seb. Bottom Steve is less rare, but I also love it very much.

#anon asks #evanstan #bottom chris rights #idek what to tag these anymore lmao i'm just enjoying them

12 notes · View notes

jinlix · 5 years

Text

I, in fact, love the moonlight himself.

#my day is a mess and my night was weird but you can tell i'm just soft now right?#i don't understand how someone's gaze can be this sweet and loving #he doesnt even try #he was so sidmskdksks peaceful and calm and smiley today skdkskdkdk #not saying this helped me already but it did #he's the most gorgeous talented boy in the world #him listening to half moon finally happened ksndksnd thank jisung.... i've been screaming abt this for months lmao #ok this post is lowkey negative bc i just woke up feeling like my day wasn't going to be a good one so i'll delete this soon sjdnsjd #the tags only !! hahhaa anyway !!! im too soft for him i skdkskdk can't #:/ i love him so muchahdhshdhd idek what im saying anymore okay sudhsjd bye #idk how active i'll be today tho but queue is up hahaha also i love yall !!#tysm for dealing with my emo ass lool i don't deserve yall 🙆🏻‍♀️ and jinnie i sure don't but sjdjd thank god i have 🙇🏻‍♀️💘💕💞💖#anyway skdkdkdk bye !!#kelly says #dl

14 notes · View notes

h4rin · 6 years

Text

soulmate!minho (stray kids)

word count ; 1993

ok so

in this au

everyone’s soulmate links are different

which is pretty lit

bc if you meet someone with the same link?

probably your soulmate

and you

you feel your soulmate’s emotions

the more extreme their emotion, the more clearly you can feel it

so like, they stub their toe? mild owch

but they get their heart broken for the first time?

it hits you like a train

anyway

so you could kind of figure that your soulmate wasn’t anyone you knew because you really weren’t in tune with anyone’s which is sometimes a little yikes

because you’re estatic for no reason but your friend just got her heart broken so you have to hide your joy

but then you feel bad for your soulmate, because you’re kind of telling them to chill but you like their happiness!!!! it just…doesn’t work

but minho is chill!!! minho’s got you

he’s such a sweetie :(((

but anyway!!!!

so you’ve always had a passion for singing, dancing, rapping!!! and you’re not overly great at the former or the latter so you kinda just keep dancing

you’re able to follow people’s choreography really well and you’re amazing at creating your own

you make it look so easy? and you can always use props really well. like, you’d kick ass at guard

so, of course, you ended up at a few colleges and academies and stuff, kicking ass all over the world with your gift

so you got a bunch of offers from a bunch of companies

all wanting you to choreograph for them

but you weren’t really drawn to any of the offers

like it would be great, but like…you were passionate about this, and you didn’t want to be dragged down into it being like the “ugh i hate mondays” thing where you really just hate your job

you didn’t wanna lose your passion

and jyp didn’t actually try to get you

like you applied to them

you heard good things about working for them

and you saw great choreography come out of them

so you were like “okay worst case scenario they say ‘no’ and i get a job somewhere else nbd”

and they saw you and they just

”Yes”

so now you have a job!!!

at one of the big three no less

u go glenn coco

so you move to korea because this is a fanfiction and you can do whatever the hell

pretty much as soon as you get there, jyp is like “hey so we need you to help this rookie group, and if all goes well, you’ll probably stick with them forever”

and you’re like “ok!!’ on the outside, but on the inside you’re like pReSsUrE thank you sir

and you realize “oh shit, i know nothing about these kids”

so your first night in korea is pretty much just you watching stray kids livestreams and such

and you’re like “shit they’ve worked just as hard as me, esp those who got eliminated for a bit” (this is in the future btw. ot9 y’all)

and your first day is you like trying not to cry because they’ve worked so hard

but you get along with them rlly well!!!! and you get their concept pretty easily

so your morning is pretty good

but you didn’t meet all of them??

jeongin, hyunjin and minho are out doing some random shit

and chan’s like “yeah, sorry, they’ll be here after lunch!!!”

which actually means that you can join stray kids for lunch!! which is lit bc it gives you a chance to get to know most of them a lil bit better

but like?? after lunch, when you get to show them the choreo you’d started for them, when jeongin, hyunjin and minho show up

your heart starts beating really fast??

and you’re like??? am i nervous?? i don’t think i’m nervous??

and you’re like

o h

yo holy shit one of them is my soulmate

and you made eye contact with and introduced yourself to hyunjin first

and he looks about as nervous as you

so you go with the obvious

“hyunjin is my soulmate ok lit”

but you don’t know what to say

like what do you say????

“hey i think we’re soulmates”

so you just go on with your life

hoping that he’ll say something first bc eh

what can you do

and you introduce yourself to jeongin and minho

and you won’t lie

hyunjin has visuals for dayz

but minho is really more your type

and jeongin is cute

but more of a little brother type

jesus christ this band has no visual holes does it

so you kinda just tell them what to do

and they all pick it up really quickly

which

you won’t lie

pisses you off a lil

you worked hard on this

how dare they be so talented

felix picked it up really well

but minho had a little issue

and you felt kinda sad, but more disappointed

but it wasn’t your feelings? it was deeper in your heart

and you sorta figured it was just bc they were already so good at it

but you didn’t even see minho’s mistake tbh

because he’d worked so hard slkjdf

but he didn’t really show it, and the mistake was so tiny

so you were just kinda like. “wow. ok. so that was everything i had?? how did you all pick it up so easily??”

and they were like “we went through hell to debut” and you shrugged like. they’re not wrong

but minho was quiet, and you knew he wasn’t a quiet person

so the others talked and you went over to minho, who’d isolated himself

and the sadness/disappointment spread from the center of your heart to all over you, so you knew they were your feelings

so you went over just like “hey, are you okay?”

and minho had just gotten the disappointment in the middle of his heart so he was desperately trying to cheer up

like shitshitshit did i cause this? nonono, i want my soulmate to be happy please be happy

but he got too deep in his thoughts, like do i not make them happy? will i ever make them happy?

and he was lowkey crying and when you asked if he was okay, it just got worse

which was not your plan

he started crying harder, but not hard enough so that the boys in the other corner could hear, unless they got dead silent, and even then, it’d probably just be hearing sniffles and such

“woah, hey, it’s okay,” you said. in all honesty, you weren’t great with emotions, but you knew he was a happy person and hated this.

his sniffing slowed down and he wiped the tears away. he’d worked so hard for this? he was better than this. this was why jyp had eliminated him.

but the negative feeling surrounding his heart lightened up a little bit, as did the feeling in the middle of yours.

“i’m not good enough.” the feeling surrounding your heart, the worry of his feelings, was immediately replaced with something else. not quite horror, not quite pity. he didn’t like the new feeling in his heart.

“what do you mean?” you asked. his heart felt lighter, somebody noticed him crying? he didn’t cry often, but he would admit, he was a little bit scared.

jyp eliminating him and then bringing him back with the threat of not even being able to debut, to crush his dreams again, had scared him. he didn’t want to come off as weak. he still didn’t cry much, he was a happy person.

but anyway!

he just kinda sniffed and went, “i was eliminated. i’m not good enough to be here.”

“but you debuted with the group, right? you were voted back by people, not by jyp. we want you here.”

the feeling surrounding his heart grew lighter, and you grew more relaxed. you couldn’t really put two and two together, for some reason, you just thought that something was stressing your soulmate out.

you grew more relaxed as well, and within a minute the two of you were fully relaxed, sitting on the floor like old friends. “if you don’t mind, what got you worked up?” you asked carefully.

“oh.” he blushed a little bit. “i just…i messed up on one of the moves, and i felt bad, like ‘oh, hey, i need to work on this’, but then i…i felt my soulmate feel bad.”

“wait, your link is your emotions, too? dude, no way, that’s so cool!! mine’s the same.” you said it with a grin.

“what’re the odds…” he muttered. “that…we’re??” he kinda cuts himself off, not finishing his sentence. he figured you’d say “oh, no, i already have my soulmate lol” but you didn’t??

“i mean…we can try to see? that’d be pretty cool honestly”

so the two of you come up with a little game

you think of something that makes you feel one emotion, then he’ll think of something, and the two of you will write down how you felt on a piece of paper.

so if you felt sad, and he was your soulmate, he’d write down sad.

does that make sense??

i hope so

so you decided to, as you could’ve guessed from my wording before, make yourself sad.

knowing that your soulmate went through more depressive states every now and then, you’d actually gotten pretty good at hiding your feelings.

so you made yourself sad.

you thought of losing minho, everything you’d worked for coming crashing down, losing everything you’d ever had, ever known

and in all honesty, you had no idea how you didn’t break down into tears.

it took minho going “oh.” and scribbling on a piece of paper to get you back to your regular self.

“your turn,” you responded, clutching your pencil and sliver of paper in your hand.

woojin closed his eyes, trying to make sure that his breathing was calm.

he already knew that the two of you were soulmates

you hadn’t noticed your breathing hitched when you dragged yourself in that mood

and he hadn’t needed to

the feeling in the middle of his heart confirmed it

so he decided to make it up to you

he thought of the opposite of what you’d thought of

the two of you spending the rest of your lives together

as both people and a couple

achieving your dreams and taking on the world

and you knew, before he even opened up his eyes

that he was the one

but

you needed to know for sure

so you wrote down what you felt and nudged minho

the two of you traded paper slips

and opened them at the same time

the words on his, messy as they were, made tears form in your eyes

“heartbreak.” your breathing slowed. “absolute heartbreak. never being enough, never feeling like enough. negativity.” he hadn’t meant for them to be as poetic as they were, simply scribbling down his feelings.

he read your response at the same time.

“ecstasy. a lifetime of happiness, condensed into a second a repeated into infinity. never being alone. everything positive.” you, actually, had been trying to make your words sound poetic lmao

you were slightly intimidated by him

you looked up to see him already staring right at you

“did…did i…?” you didn’t finish your sentence, his mouth slightly agape as he nodded.

“did i?”

you nodded.

you honestly didn’t know how either of you would react, and you couldn’t describe your feelings for once. you felt the same inside and out; complete, happy, maybe a little bit of doubt.

but holy shit

this was what you’d been searching for your whole life

neither of you had to give up your dreams to find the other

it was like a fairy tale

idk how to end this so

happily ever after ~~

248 notes · View notes

bewitchingivy · 2 years

Text

°࿐ GAME : ❝YOUR FUTURE PARTNER'S APPEARANCE.❞

status || CLOSE

Hey, guys! So I've decided to create this little game, for no reason actually. I'll hold games like these whenever I just feel like it. This my first time, actually. So 🐻 with me. And, I just saw 111. (srsly i can't count how many times I see angel numbers each day i-)

IMPORTANT NOTICE: This is not a reading about YOUR FUTURE FRICKIN SPOUSE. It's your next partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, unicorn, whatever.

What I'll be reading; their physical appearance, duh. In details—yes, darling (well. not too much. I'll leave the undressing to you lmao what-). Their hairstyle, eyes, skin tone, clothing style, height, and possibly anymore specific physical or facial attributes.

How I'll be reading: Intuition with a little bit of tarot, if I'm called to pull some out.

RULES:

• you have to be a follower, like and reblog this post.

• send me an ask: list me three things that you appreciate and love about yourself (because I want y'all to give yourself some love too), along with your initials, and your gender preference.

• no anons please.

• if you'd like, you may ask to have your reading done in private.

• only TWENTY people will be chosen randomly by a generator.

• Be nice (be on your best behavior you little b- kidding, I'm not your mom) because I treat others the way they treat me 😌

• Please be patient with me. Idek why I'm doing this when I'm a very busy hooman being.

• I am closing this game...whenever I feel like it. :) Jk, it depends really if a lot of people have already reached this post.

• UPDATED: Never mind that above. I'll be closing this game tomorrow at Monday, 6 PM HKT :) To those 20 people who will win, I'll announce and tag them :D Good luck ya guys 🎶

Soooo... let the game begin.

#bewitchingivy #ivy's games #tarot #intuitive #tarot games #intuitive games #tarot community

43 notes · View notes

roanniee · 3 years

Text

SO.

Let's try this again🤸🏻

Also Idil vibes strong on this one. I can't say Gil bc Gil calls Ate Sel smth specific like she does with me.

Ship the @mythos-blogs Crew

ps. here's the server <3

@admiringlove

Baby Sam is very hard working and focused on whatever she's doing that sometimes, she forgets to take care of herself. So, I see Sugawara Koushi with her perfectly, someone caring and understanding, but knows better than to let her overwork and tells her when enough is enough. The both of you do struggle with a few things, and when you fight or have insecure moments, you sit down to talk about it instead of shouting at each other. Overall, a really good match I say.

Baby Sam also kins Oikawa and I ship Oikawa hardcore with Suga LMAO

@ninjamomo

Me. That's my wife <333

Okay but for realsies. I ship Idil with Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto and Idil would be just... soft love. I see dancing in the rain, bathtub relaxation hours together and cuddling in bed. Idil knows that Bokuto is a busy man, and Bokuto knows he is a busy man. But that doesn't mean that they were gonna let the relationship go. Oh no. Those two will hold on like a cat with his claws on the couch. A really really soft, supportive and strong love.

@tooru-luvs

I actually had a hard time with Ms. Zizi. See, I haven't interacted with her much. But, based on the interactions of hers that I see on my tl, I can see that she is very playful but also can be serious. Hence, why I say that she'd be amazing with Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo is playful and an overall gremlin, but he's very caring ang knows exactly when to be serious and how serious. He'll help her with anything he can help her with, but he also knows when no to because it's something Zizi needs to do for herself. Likewise, Zizi knows when to be cheery to make Kuroo smile, but also when to sit and talk to Kuroo about a delicate matter. They'd both ground each other, while matching the same playful energy.

@rokudaddie

HEY I CAN TAG HER NOW KSKSKS

ME ME ME ME ME

anyways hehe. Gly. Lovely, sweet, Gly. She's very caring, but my god does she also enjoy chaos. Hence, I'm putting her with Hoshiumi Korai. We all know Hoshiumi is a little gremlin with a heart of gold. The way these two are together would be immaculate. They're chaos together, but even with all the chaos, they have time to look at the other to make sure they're okay. PLUSSS! Hoshiumi will always unconsciously be touching Gly, just to make sure that she's there. Gly would unconsciously make sure that Hoshiumi is in her peripheral vision too.

@moonlit-island

Ooooh Raya! Raya is so damn sweet and caring and uplifting. I love her sm. Hehehe anyway I ship her with Tsukishima Kei. The Tarot cards said so, and so did the zodiac signs. SKSKS Anyway! Yes, a really good match. Raya's got a really good head on her shoulders, but I see her watching all the chaos from the sidelines, much like Tsukishima. When they're together, they'd start the chaos and then sit back and eat popcorn as they watch the world burn.

@laineeey00

Ate Laine? Some will definitely say Kita, because it's Ate Laine, but I say Hirugami Sachiro. Hirugami would be such a good man for Ate Laine. I imagine them sitting down in the living room, books spread out on the table. Just silence while studying, but every now and then, one of them would look up to look at the other, smile and then return back to what they were doing. Ate Laine makes sure that Hirugami takes breaks and Hirugami makes sure that Ate Laine isn't stressing so much. Just so cute honestly.

@betheydocrimewrites

Ah, Adult Sam. Hmmm. Adult Sam is a whirlwind of chaos and sweet, sweet angst. I definitely see them with darling Yamaguchi Tadashi. I see them in bed, Sam on his laptop, and him just hugging them tight when something they were writing was choking them up. But, Sam is just overall an amazing person that they deserve someone so sweet and caring like Yamaguchi. Obvi, it is reciprocated, and I see such a sweet love in the works.

@melsun

Oooh. Alice.

Melian and Matsukawa Issei would make a very interesting pairing. Both independent yet still co-dependent on each other. Melian knows how to calm Matsukawa after a tough day at work, and Matsukawa knows how to keep Melian from stressing. Matsukawa would also hype Melian up so much?? Like any outfit Melian wears, Matsukawa's right there telling them how good and amazing they look and how well they matched the outfit up. Honestly, just a very functional household and I love that.

@lovemeian

oh oof Lavi. I want to say Meian but for reasons I cannot disclose, I won't say that for now. I will say though, that she will be so good with Dabi. Lavi has a few things she needs to work on, and Dabi is always there for her. Actually lbr, they both have issues to work on, but I feel like together, they'd overcome that. I feel like they'd?? Actually be so understanding of each other that it shocks and confuses others bc?? hello it's Dabi?? but yes, a really good match.

@writewithmarites

Me <3

Severus Snape. Ate Tes is chaotic. I'm sorry but her default in the server is chaos, especially with the bot around HAHAHAHA but anyway! Severus would be so good to ground Ate Tes, keep her from getting a little too chaotic BUT ALSO, he can help her when she's not taking care of herself. She also helpes him with his potions, and it makes the job easier on him. But of course, Severus is a slytherin, and most of the time he'd be the one inciting the chaos and we just don't know it. Anyway, Ate Tes is honestly so wonderful and I love her sm and she deserves someone to tame like the serious, bratty, angsty Severus Snape. <333

@saudade-mayari

ME. AGAIN LMAO. <3

ANYWAY

Nozel Silva. Nozel and Ate Sel. Oh gosh what a thought. Nozel is....arrogant, prideful, and he sees himself as someone more important than others. But, the man does know respect and he does care for people, especially Ate Sel. I have no doubts that Ate Sel can make that man kneel and follow her wishes, but I also know that Ate Sel would not let this man get away with his arrogance and pride. Nozel cares for her a lot. She's his partner, the carrier of the future of House Silva, and the only one that has caught his attention. He loves her, and that man would drop nearly everything for her.

@risumu

Eris! Eribabe and Ojiro Aran. Idek why. But the vibes would be so immaculate. I see road trips and early morning dancing in the kitchen to an indie song one of them is hyperfixated on. I also see late night walks to the convenience store, holding hands and just silence? Basking in each other's prescence. Eris definitely steals Aran's sweaters to the point that Aran buys two of his sizes so he can interchange them. One to give to Eris when the one she took doesn't smell like him anymore. Love all over the place.

@sunarent

Mel. That's it.

Okay but also, I see Iwaizumi Hajime. I was thinking about Suna but the more I think back about the things I know about Ali and our interactions, I see Iwa. I feel like they'd understand each other so much. And the love isn't seen much, not because they don't love each other, but because it's something they need to say really. It's more shown in the touches and kisses and cuddling. They know that they love each each other, and that's enough for them.

@tetsvhoe

Honestly I want to say Kuroo but.

Kozume Kenma. Gwennie works so hard and stresses so much. Her sleeping sched is unavailable lmao. Kenma would be so good for her because he knows how it is, to be stressed and not have an actual sleeping sched. I feel like they'd be good together. In all honesty, they'd probably take care of each other more than they would themselves but no one is complaining really.

@slutbench

MY BABYYYY. MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE YOU SM AND I SWEAR I'M NOT MAD.

I ship you with...

Azumane Asahi. Why? Because you remind me of Noya sometimes. Very energetic, a little bit of low moments and just a ball of sunshine in general. Asahi is perfect for you, Mija. He'd be able to just connect with her in ways others just don't understand. People would say that Asahi is too...soft? They'd say someone like Daicho or maybe Bokuto would be better for you, Mija, but really, he's perfect. Asahi and Gil. He balances her out in so many ways, even if no one else can see it.

@ushisrever

NIA!

Ushijima Wakatoshi. Really, the two of them are perfect. Stoic, quiet, can be chaotic. Very protective, even if the two deny it. Nia, you and Ushi are like...pillars? Support? Quiet, unmovable, but still, everyone knows you're both there, and you don't really leave people's minds. I see the two feeding off of each other's energy, especially when it comes to protecting others that they care about. (Looking at you, Lavi) I see hours where it's just her watching him playing in the background and he just looks at her, smiles, and then goes back to playing. It's really cute.

@sumebreaks

MAIA! HI! We haven't interacted much, I'm so sorry for that sweets. bUT BUT BUT!!!!

You're so sweet and caring and loving??? I really see you with Miya Atsumu! I see Tsumu bugging you to take a break and give him attention. BUT! I also see you?? Bugging him, telling him to get off the court or he's sleeping on the couch HAHAHA I feel like you two really just? Connect. Both playful, both caring, both are busy with their own things so there's not too much expectations that cannot be met for now. Idk I really see a love that's always there, no matter how busy they get.

@vindictivtsumu

AAAAAH DEVON HUN!

I love Devon and their writing so much??? Omg. Yknow who would be amazing with them? Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi is very articulate and just overall book smart in my opinion, and I see that him and Devon would fit so well. He is Devon's personal beta reader HAHAHAH BUT!!!!! Devon also watches Akaashi edit and points out anything that he missed. I see days when they're just sitting there, talking softly to each other that the sound of typing was louder. But that's okay bc you both are content and happy and in love.

@ricflairdrip20

I just met you not even 24 hours ago hehehe HIIII

I will not lie.

I asked for help from Ate Sel HAHAHHAHA

But!!!! She says Ukai Keishin, and honestly I see it. The nsfw-rp channel is the reason why and I'm not saying more HAHAHAHA I see nights when it's Keishin and her just? Idk having fun and being kids bc lbr that man can be a kid sometimes. I also see them taking care of each other in unconventional ways, ways that would not be okay for others, but it's her love language with him. V v v domestic.

I HOPE Y'ALL MYTHOS CREW LIKED THAT MATCHING UP BYE

#castledorms #merguest: anonymous #mythos #this is what i do instead of sleeping #this drained my braincells bye

24 notes · View notes