#i'm just stressed and depressed
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can someone pls hire me
#i'm gonna be homeless if I don't get a better job#the cost of living has gone up so much the last few years#and of course when we are given annual pay raises they do not reflect inflation so even w a raise you're making less#i've applied to so many jobs and I never have enough experience#I wish I had connections in my field but I just don't#forever wishing I was a nepo baby#I have a dog to provide for I just want to give her a nice backyard to play in but I have to move out soon#sorry for the rant pls ignore me#i'm just stressed and depressed
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drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death
#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#barghestland#arthur morgan#art#artists on tumblr#this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown#and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur#cuz his depressed ass would understand#u know.. yeah :(#i hope whoever reads it is having a better time#if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3#like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs#i'd be happy to hear that
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I’m just so fucking tired
#depressing shit#tw depression#sui ideation#tw depressing thoughts#sad thoughts#stressed out#i'm just so tired#mentally tired
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katie your lawyer au tags have me on my knees I never thought guys in suits doing stuff would seem interesting but wow…wow. your mind
Thank u Anon this AU is incredibly indulgent for me.......... ok time 4 more world-building.
I think @heynhay's original idea of Keith & Lance working together at the same firm is best. For both plot reasons but also for my own morale LOL
So everyone works at a fairly large private firm that splits its practice and has some of its associates doing profit-driven law (i.e. corporate or finance) which subsidizes the public interest/service work that the other associates do.
The firm is like "Altea & Daibazaal LLP" or something. Yes I am implying that the firm was started by Alfor and Zarkon. Yes I am implying that Allura and Lotor are nepo babies.
I know I originally said that Keith and Lance were law school rivals but I've changed my mind... (RIP to the law school rivalry dynamics
Instead I'm making it so that Keith and Lance are the same age but Lance has been practicing longer because he went straight into law school after college. Whereas Keith started working after college and got like a Master's degree in Social Work or something before deciding on law school at 26. (I just think Keith is the kind of person who goes to law school later in life.)
Okay onto the specific Klance dynamics... Keith and Lance are both pushing 30 and are also literally lawyers so they are professional and serious about their work... But there is wiggle room for them to still be rivals :p
Lance and Keith are both junior associates at the firm. Lance has seniority because he's been at the firm longer but he's still a year or so away from formally becoming a senior associate.
Lance really, REALLY wants to make partner and he sees Keith as his biggest threat/rival because Keith is Shiro's little brother, and Shiro recently made partner at the firm, so Lance thinks Keith might be a nepo hire. Also some of the senior associates recently left the firm so now Lance is stuck showing Keith the ropes and he's lowkey super bitter about it.
Basically TLDR Lance starts off Not Liking Keith at all for various real or imagined reasons and begins a work rivalry with him. Keith doesn't actually GAF about making partner because he's only planning on working at the firm for a few years to help pay off his student loans, but Lance doesn't know that. However, Keith is a naturally very competitive person, and he also likes having Lance's attention, so Keith immediately goes all in on the rivalry.
Lance, internally: "This Fucking Guy."
Keith, internally: "I am so good at flirting."
The first few months are rough between them. However both are also incredibly productive in their work.
The romcom part of the AU kicks in once the two of them have to start working together on a huge high stakes civil case and they're both like wow.... *twirls hair* he's so competent.............. <3
Anyway misc. things:
TBH I have no idea what kind of law Keith and Lance might private practice... I'm also really torn on what Shiro, Allura, and Hunk would practice hdjsksdhedf
Pidge is hired on a fellowship for either environmental law or data security/privacy law.
Coran does employment law.
Keith went into law school planning on going into public interest/not-for-profit legal aid and swore he would never, ever do corporate law but then he saw his student loans and was like. Hm. Okay maybe some Biglaw is okay. And that's how he ended up at the firm.
Keith:
#lawyer au#voltron#klance#keith#lance#otp: we are a good team#ask#anonymous#katiecanons#the thing is is that like. i want to write them as public interest lawyers soooo bad because that's what i plan on doing.#but the reality is that public interest work is incredibly stressful and depressing and time-consuming#and i genuinely cannot imagine klance having the time/energy to start a relationship if they were both doing civil legal aid#like ngl. i am feeling very discouraged after my first month of law school. i feel very disillusioned by the whole process and the field.#hopefully it's just because i'm stressed and burned out right now and things will become more manageable soon#anyway sorry for not elaborating more on the plot of the au but i have SO much reading left to do
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#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shang qinghua#how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg#I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg#how nice it would be to not exist#everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate#time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times#I haven't felt real in most of those years either#Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times#tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias#I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it#but at the same time I really want to do more too#I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person#and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig#I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg#priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore#idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things#like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything#I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me#I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha#ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so#chug chug going along#I also have to make wushi before I die. haha#god my life is so empty#what am I even doing#I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much#I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more
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The mood of the day is "My battery is low, its getting dark"
#my stuff#had my suspicions confirmed that my friendship with my ex is basically never gonna be anything like what i thought and needed#its really fucking frustrating and it means that all of the warmth and attention they showed me before we were dating was-#due to their romantic interest in me rather than our connection as friends#and on top of that they're stressed out and depressed and have said they basically only trust ppl they're dating (fucked up imo)#so I'm never going to get the kind of connection i was looking for. If i wasn't waiting on something from them I would just give up on this#i'm not getting what i need. I'm barely getting anything at all. what a fucking waste of human connection#I'm exhausted emotionally and mentally and already under colossal stress with my phd and classes#i'm not gonna talk to em again until they reach out first i'm sick of fucking necromancing this and making 90% of the effort
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silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️
(directly based on this)
#and just when you thought I wouldn't take an opportunity to draw fall alt Morty simply because it's not October - you f o o l s !!! /lh#this was actually quite an old doodle that I managed to finally get to as a treat for myself since work has been quite overwhelming skdjfns#I just wanted an excuse to draw Morty all flustered and shy really eeeeeeeeee (those lip stains are Eusine's ofc) 💕💕💕💕💕💕#I'll make a proper post for it later but I'll skip the comic update this weekend so that I could unwind and attend this con I've been eyein#(it's a local Pokemon Con where I plan to just - splurge my savings on merch really SKDJFSKJDFNSD bc I deserve it methinks)#(I have the update planned as well- I just don't wanna stress myself by rushing it --- I wanna make it the best I could hehe ✨)#I'll also !!! share that I've recently started the Magnus Archives and have been on . a MANIC binge on it since last week#(I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar this is okay for me to saySKJDFNSJKFDSND)#but oh my god I've just been--so addicted to it - I've just recently started S4 and I'm Severely Depressed by it but god I am---#--loving each and every moment of it so much I am So Indescribably Insane about it#part of me wishes I started investing in podcasts sooner really - it fits my nature of work quite perfectly#I'm nearing the end (it ends at S5 - 200 episodes) so I'll finally be able to participate in fanworks after that wish me luck y'allSKJDFNSD#sacredshipping#morty/eusine#morty x eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#fall morty#pokemon#pokemon masters#pokemon masters ex#pmex#pokemas
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uh.. just a doodly collection LOL
#witch hat tag#orufrey#and some earrings.#the rest is mostly me remembering this tipsy scene in my fic and wanting to illustrate it a bit. had to include excerpts so it'd make sense#i dont actually think qifrey is as foolish as in the last image but maybe if he's stressed out &tipsy. happy drunk x melancholy drama drunk#my fic is so serious and then my drawings are like. I'm a silly little man#^ someone forgetting they draw very serious and depressing narrative fanart fairly regularly and this is just to let off steam#qifrey muttering quietly under his breath while staring into his wine: I could be transfem if i had to be. easily. oru: what? qif: nothing.#abt those ladies saying oru looks gay. no he doesnt if he doesnt have his facial hair.#he has the facial hair japanese people see as a gay stereotype. especially on a slight-built man in that style and not like a full beard.#for some reason that screams gay to japanese people. the fact that he was designed with that is good to me.
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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I was gonna make a post earlier about how life hasn't actually sucked lately and that things have been going surprisingly well for me but then like an hour later I discovered I have to move out of my house ASAP which means I will probably have to move out of state bc I can't afford to live here anymore
#i'm so stressed and depressed#literally can't even afford to live where I have lived my whole life bc EVERYONE is fucking moving here#and driving the cost of living up SO much but guess what ISN'T increasing? wages#anyway feel free to ignore this i'm just trying not to have a meltdown rn
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being an adult w chronic depression is so deeply unserious
#shdjsj idek how to express it lmaooo#like idk I think a lot of ppl don't take kids' depression very seriously esp in retrospect for themselves#but for me it's the opposite like my childhood was so Profoundly Bad#that now that I'm an adult I'm sort of just like. you're literally fine why are you still sad 💀#my problems are nowhere near as stressful as when I was like 9-17
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For anything you may feel like sharing
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷
That night, Beard slept on the couch — or maybe didn’t sleep at all, the way the shadows carved dark under his eyes the next day. He struck up a monologue, more words in a row than Ted had heard from him in all their years of friendship. Made breakfast and lunch and dinner; didn’t say a word about the team, or the string of ties, or their duty to the boys.
In the evening he opened the window wide and dragged a pair of kitchen chairs over to face it, settled in one and waited for Ted to haul himself over to the other. Night in London was glowing yellow and rushing with traffic, but the coool breeze eased something inside him all the same.
“Remember the Great American Twinetrip?” Ted asked. It’d been not long after Beard got out of prison, back when he was still living in his and Michelle’s guest room and skittish as a newborn deer. Come summer and with it the end of the coaching season, Ted had packed them both into his car and spent two and a half weeks driving them around the country to see every record-breaking ball of twine in the country. “We camped in that field out by…”
“Lake Nebagamon,” Beard supplied.
“Yeah.” They’d gotten lost on some deserted road, ended up sleeping there in some field getting eaten by mosquitos. “Remember the stars? Can’t see nothing like it out here.”
“Light pollution.”
They went quiet again. The curtains fluttered. In the field outside Lake Nebagamon, Ted had told him, just ‘cause you used to be a certain way don’t mean you’ll be that way forever. He’d closed his eyes when Ted stored the car keys for the night and Ted had torn a piece of paper from the back of his notebook and scrawled CAR KEYS HERE-> in neon pink highlighter and pressed Beard’s wallet back into his hands when he tried to hand it over as collateral Crunched there together in the folded-down back seat Beard had met Ted’s eyes in the dark and said—
“Think I might be cursed.”
#fic: wrong answers only#ted's in his time loop depression era#i'm in my stress-induced productivity era#did you know the usa has more than one record-breaking ball of twine?#apparently there's 4 and it wouldn't actually take a week and a half to see all of them on a road trip they just did it slowly#ted lasso#coach beard#kvetch oc
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Humble brags from this week because I feel really accomplished and proud of myself
2 months on T looks hot as hell on me and it feels even better. I was given a work/study student of the year award by my supervisor yesterday completely by surprise, and I also picked up a certificate of recognition for trans day of visibility from the student community & leadership development office at my school. I accepted my offer to work in the library over the summer (better $$ than I thought!) so I'll finally have a legit job after 5 years (and in a field I love)! I'm working on a course with one of my favourite profs and it's looking good -- I got to design my own syllabus so it's all about transmasculine theory & life writing, which will prep me for grad school if I so choose. My partner is graduating college and we're planning to do a grad trip in Montreal with our pals. All of my coworkers and peers have been so wonderful and kind and supportive since I've gone public with my transition (even the one who had a lot to learn -- she has come super far and I'm really grateful for her). And I just checked my GPA and it went up a little! 8.5/9, babeyy.
#maybe it's just because the sun is out and i'm at that Good Point in my -- eugh -- my cycle#also maybe i've been depressed and under too much stress too long lol because i want to feel suspicious#things are a little TOOOO good.... hmmmmmmmmm#no but i'm super happy. glad i'm still around and got through the bad shit. glad i'm getting further and further away from my teen years#daddy gets shit DONE#i need to actually stop calling myself daddy but no i won't. i'm the father of my 21 year old friend through-and-through#i just think it's funny for a pee-wee like me to call himself daddy. it's funny!!!#also my (favourite shh) coworker complimented my little moustache yesterday and i feel so SEEN
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🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️
#this is so incredibly stupid#but i've just spent such a long time worrying about my physical health and everything going on with that#(and there's still so much weirdness and uncertainty and scariness going on with my physical health)#but it just somehow never occured to me that i'm also depressed.#like. i had BAD depression as a teenager but i've been mostly mentally okay in the last 5 years. my issues have mostly been physical.#and then these last few months since all this scary health stuff started happening i've been so lethergic and unmotivated#and have been isolating myself from my friends#and struggling to find fun in any of the things that i love#i've been sad and stressed and empty but somehow. SOMEHOW. i did not consider that i was suffering from some Mental Unwellness dfkjfdjkdjkf#i just thought i was being pathetic#🫠🫠🫠#it sounds so stupid but now i realise i actually feel a bit better?#like oh. OH! depression! i hate you but i know what you are!#i'm not just a bad friend and an embarrassingly pathetic creature. there's a reason!!!!!#and there are ways to deal with it!!!#cool!!!#but also like it makes sense?! i'm incredibly sick and in a lot of pain and spending so much time getting tests and worrying#of course that's going to affect my mental health lol.#okay. anyway. yeah#tbd
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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