#i'm imagining dan sleeps there every night alone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadandphilgames · 1 year

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Imagine. The Urge but no homo

okay challenge accepted

It was a crisp winter's night in London, England. It was that particular time in late January where there was no longer any frost, but simply biting cold air in what felt like a completely empty atmosphere.

Dan Howell was walking down the road; his tall black silhouette cast shadows from the artificial amber glow of streetlamps. His breath formed swirls of mist with every exhalation and he decided to slide his exposed hands inside his coat pockets to retain some warmth. The street was empty at this time and his footsteps echoed up and down around him, only interrupted by the cruising hum of a taxi driving past. He wasn't totally alone after all. Dan had time to think on this journey, time to think about what had happened the night before.

The events had played in his head so many times over that he didn't know whether he could trust their accuracy, or if his own perceptions had rewritten how the events unfolded. Any way he thought about it, one thing was certain. His friend roommate, Phil Lester, was dead.

Phil had a habit of always being in the worst place at the worst time. It was an endearing quality that often resulted in funny stories for him to share with his friends or his followers on the internet. He was a kind person. Perhaps that's why he was singled out as a victim. It wasn't fair. A painful stab of recollection shot through Dan's brain, as if forcing itself through a wall he had built to protect himself. He saw it again. The dead, lifeless eyes, the way it moved so swiftly out of the darkness, the blood. The blood was the most vivid memory of all. Dan had somehow found himself collapsed in a corner, unable to move, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the crimson trail of his friend's life weaving around the cobbled stones of the street and down a drain. Dan saw his hand twitching, those last moments of resistance and hope that something, someone, would be able to save him. Then it stopped. That is the last time he saw Phil Lester alive.

Dan arrived home at their apartment. It felt wrong. Opening the door to the living room, the usual bright colours of their possessions seemed inappropriate, disrespectful even. How could anything dare to be so bright at this time? He turned off the lights and collapsed on the grey carpet of their hallway. Sleep.

The next day was to be Phil's funeral. Dan had no interest in going. He would rather be having lots of sex with women that day. His friendship with Phil was personal to him and not something he wanted to share with family and friends who would mean well but insult with every word of comfort. He decided that even if he had to attend physically, he would be somewhere else in his mind, thinking of cars and beer. He had to.

Dan remained silent and stoic through the service. People left to return to their lives, the relatives trading condolences, leaving Dan alone in the room with the coffin. He didn't want to look - it would be real if he saw. He wanted to run away from this nightmare, but he had to see. Dan strode over and gazed into the box. Lifeless. Even with Phil's typically pale skin you used to see the warm glow of life within. All that could be seen here was the sickly pale-green colour of death.

Dan went to turn away, to walk out of the room into a life where everything familiar was gone, when something grabbed his wrist.

'Don't go, it's okay.' Dan turned to see the same pale skin he had just had burned into his memory gripping at his shirt.

He looked up slowly to see his dead friend sat bolt upright. Dan ran. Not stopping to blink, breathe or process a single thought he sprinted out of the back exit and all the way across the grounds of the building to underneath a tree. He vomited. It wasn't real. He was hysterical. He tried to rationalist the thoughts in his head as his eyes shook with distress.

'Dan, stop running, I'm not going to hurt you.'

He spun around to see Phil, standing upright as if completely fine with his hands forwards as if anticipating Dan's irrational behaviour. 'You can't, I mean, this can't be real,' Dan said, grasping behind his back to try and hold onto the tree as if it was a tether to reality.

'You know I'm real, Dan, this is real and I think you know why.'

'No!' Dan shouted and pushed Phil backwards in utter disbelief. Phil punched dan and didn’t pin him to a tree, that would’ve been very homoerotic. Phil grabbed Dan's wrists and pinned him against the tree. Dan could feel the sharper edges prodding uncomfortably into his back as if the tree itself was pushing him towards the nightmare. 'It was a vampire.' The words stuck in penetrated into Dan's head and seemed to pull down on his soul as if everything he had been trying not to believe in the last two days was sinking like quicksand. 'I don't know how, or if that's exactly what it is, but it explains it well enough,' Phil said in a calmer tone, clearly aware of Dan's slow realisation.

‘oh sick. a vampire,’ Dan said.

‘Let’s go look at boobs. I won’t bite you, because I don’t want you to join me for eternity. that would be kinda gay,’ replied Phil. The end

'You aren't the real Phil,' Dan said in a flat, emotionless tone. His head was bowed and in Phil's grip it seemed Dan wasn't trying to resist anymore. 'If what you're saying is true, you aren't Phil. You're just a beast possessing his body.' He looked up and stared into Phil's eyes. He didn't see the bright blue pools of life that he used to, he sat emptiness. He must be right.

Phil stared back at Dan, seeing his brown irises blazing with fury. Phil let his grip loosen for a second. Dan realised and swung a punch as hard as he could, hitting Phil square in the jaw. Phil reached towards his lip. Blood. He looked down at it in a strange way and glanced back up at Dan who seemed to almost be expecting something. Phil decided to wipe the blood on his shirt. 'I won't lie,' Phil said, rearranging his suit jacket and sweeping his black hair away from his eyes. 'I feel different. I feel urges. I still know who I am, what I do, what the difference is between right and wrong. And yet something within me, something primal ...' 'Shut up.' Dan said, clenching his fist and visibly shaking with rage. 'You are not my friend and if I have to destroy his body to give him peace, do not think I won't.'

Dan spun around, reaching for the sharp wood that was cutting into his back. In one sure motion he snapped the branch and immediately swung towards Phil, who, as if in slow motion, leant backwards, smacked the branch from Dan's hand and grabbed his by the throat. Dan's head banged against the tree with a force that shoo. The leaves from the branches, falling over the boy's shoulders. His breath was heavy. He could feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. This was fear. He tried to move but the force his friend was applying to his neck seemed immovable and impossible.

Phil stepped closer until their noses touched and looked Dan directly in the eyes: 'I could kill you. Every fibre of my being is urging me to tilt your head back and bite your neck, but I can choose not to.'

'What?!' Dan said, spitting out warmth before taking in a huge gasp.

'I don't want to kill you. I want you to join me.'

Dan felt his heart drop in pressure. An overwhelming stillness waved through his body until he was stunned into silence. 'No p-please,' he stuttered.

'You don't have a choice, but I do. Appreciate it,' said Phil. 'Think about it, Dan, things can continue like normal! We can tell everyone it was one of those miracle situations where I was never actually dead. We can go back to our apartment and continue our normal lives ... with some dietary adjustments, I guess.'

Dan had completely lost his ability to think. Part of it made sense, maybe it would be okay if he didn't have to lose his friend, or his own life. He knew it wasn't true though. Even though Phil was right in front of him, there was no breath coming out of his lips. The only sensation he experienced was the damp chill of Phil's skin pressing against his.

Just then Dan noticed a man who must be the groundskeeper walking by in the distance. Dan had made his choice, and he knew it would be the right one. 'HELP!' Dan shouted, shaking as hard as he could, causing Phil to almost loosen his grip. 'He's trying to ki-'

Then he felt it. Two sharp stabs pierced the skin of his neck. Dan dropped his arms and buckled his knees, he had lost.

Phil moved in closer, pinning Dan's body against the tree as he gulped gallons of thick blood through his teeth and down his throat. Phil almost felt himself losing control, feeling a desire to completely give in to a more powerful force within himself. 'No,' he said, pulling away, feeling the blood run down his neck past the collar of his shirt. Quickly he raised his wrist and pierced his own veins. 'Drink!' he ordered, pressing his wrist against Dan's mouth. Dan, with the last moments of his fading energy attempted to resist, pitifully shrugging his shoulders. It would t be enough. His natural instinct to breather opened his lips and the pungent taste of iron filled his mouth and flowed across his tongue. Dan's vision faded to black.

Blinking. Vision hazy and unclear. A yellow light. A white ceiling. After what seemed like a dreamy eternity unable to move, Dan's eyes focused and noticed the familiar patterns of his bedroom ceiling. He was home. Had it all been a dream? Dan asked himself this as he reached to touch his bare chest with his fingers. He could still feel. Surely that meant he was still alive? His hand stopped. Palm lying flat over his chest, he tried to focus all senses of detecting something, anything. No pulse.

He looked to the right to suddenly notice Phil, sitting in a chair leaning over the bed.

'How do you feel?' he asked, with what seemed like a degree of confidence.

Dan's eyes darted up and down trying to decide what he made of this person, or whatever it was, who sat next to hi. He sat up and swung his legs over the bed. Lifting his head up with a strange, new assuredness he had never felt before, he locked eyes with this friend. 'Hungry,' Dan said, feeling within in an urge, a biological mission he now felt he had to begin.

'Me too,' Phil said with a smirk. 'Why don't we go find someone to eat?'

The End.

#asks #anonymous #my additions are in red. and the rest is crossed out #dnp #allie.txt

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 3 years

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songs that make me think of vampy and why

this is for drea and leyla ONLY thank u

daylight- taylor swift "i don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you" bc vampy loves her so much he only wants her 😔 midnight love- girl in red "I know I'm the last one you try to call but I always give in to give you it all" "your silver is my gold" bc miss chiropractor treated him terribly but he loved her with everything and would have gone back to her no matter what watch you sleep- girl in red this one is obvious: bc vampy watches bloodbag sleep :) also "the scar on your spine, you fell off a roof when you were nine" is all appreciating the tiny details about someone and that is definitely something vampy would do :( paper rings: taylor swift "i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this" line without a hook- ricky montgomery "oh baby i am a wreck when i'm without you" bc vampy loves bloodbag so much he just wants to be with her always 😔 dead girl in the pool- girl in red this one is kinda weird but i feel like bloodbag is gonna die at some point and then vampy will just be like "theres a dead girl in the pool (or wherever her corpse is laying slfjskldfjkldsj) i don't know what to do" and then he's gonna make this face

bad habits- ed sheeran bc he was just slutting around before he met bloodbag demons- imagine dragons dont make fun of me for this I KNOW but fr it's vampy renegade- taylor swift "you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody" he needs bloodbag 😔 starting line- luke hemmings i can't really explain this one but it's like how you always talk about how his happiness is overshadowed by the fact that he's a monster or whatever million dollar bills - lorde "theres nothing i want but money and time" and vampy has literally all the money and time :) solar power- lorde this is harrys hot girl anthem idk happiness- taylor swift "there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you" this is him reminiscing on miss chiropractor i wanna get better-bleachers "i didn't know i was lonely til i saw your face" "I didn't know i was broken til i wanted to change" come on 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 good 4 u - olivia rodrigo this is his fuck u song for miss chiropractor my tears ricochet- taylor swift "if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake" it's ironic innit 😌 what a feeling- one direction "what a feeling to be right here beside you now, holding you in my arms" please 😔 "everybody needs someone around" 😔😔😔 "but i can't hold you too close now" bc he has severe attachment and commitment issues :) all you had to do was stay- taylor swift "had me in the palm of your hand, then, why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in" omg miss chiropractor really hurt him 😔 king of my heart- taylor swift "and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for" bloodbag @ vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 cruel summer- taylor swift "I love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard" bc he knows getting close to bloodbag will ultimately only lead to pain for everyone involved "i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" bc he can't tell bloodbag everything about him even tho he probably wants to :( thank u next- arianna grande this is weird BUT if miss chiropractor hadn't fucked him up so much he never would have met bloodbag tear in my heart- 21 pilots again don't make fun of me for this I HAVE AN EXPLANATION "you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine" if bloodbag fell asleep in his car he would definitely do this :( shape of you-ed sheeran "now my bedsheets smell like you" his room probably smells like honey and lavender all the time now and he's probably foaming at the mouth constantly cowboy in LA "let's skip the club, lets skip the crowd, i wanna take you on a date" bc they both hate clubs!!!!! "I'll hold your hand I'll hold the door bc that's how i was raised" he's a gentleman 😔😔😔😔 & burn- billie eilish "i'll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me, but you never came back to ask it out" idk for some reason this has vampy and miss chiropractor vibes take me to church- hozier religious trauma babes 🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼 speechless- dan+shay "i'm speechless, staring at you standing there in that dress" love 😔 yours- russel dickerson "i came to life when i first kissed you, the best me has his arms around you, you make me better than i was before, thank god i'm yours" SCREAMING AND CRYING AND SHAKING tolerate it- taylor swift "i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" MISS ******** DIDN"T APPRECIATE OR CELEBRATE HIS LOVE MIA- anarbor "thinking about my life and everything i did wrong along the way"😔 lay low- josh turner for when bloodbag and vampy go to a cabin in the woods for a week and just love each other 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 who can save me now- anarbor "you stabbed me in the back" this one is pretty literal LSKFJLKSJFLKDSJ "you could have at least been kind enough to let me turn around" ouch 😔 dopamine- anarbor "i'm hooked on your dopamine" vampy and bloodbag ugh lie to me- 5sos this give me vampy and ******** vibes "i wish we never met, cause you're too hard to forget" "while i'm cleaning up your mess i know he's taking

off your dress" bc she probably cheated on him while they were together 😔 and he would have stayed with her if she told him she loved him, even if he knew it was a lie 😔 cotton candy- yungblud it's just a happy song with good vibes like bloodbag and vampy currently have :) small talk- niall horan i don't even have to say anything here pillowtalk- zayn "so we'll piss off the neighbors" chappy 9 vibes dancing with our hands tied- taylor swift "i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us" vampy rn 😔 once in a lifetime- one direction vampy will live a million lifetimes but he will only ever have one bloodbag 😔 holy ground- taylor swift "tonight i'm gonna dance for all that we've been through but I don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you" they've come so far omg 😔 since we're alone- niall horan "you can show me your heart, if you put it all in my hands no i swear no i won't break it apart" crying if i could fly- one direction "for your eyes only i'll show you my heart" rollercoaster- bleachers again i can't explain it but it makes me think of him 😔 so long- niall horan "so if we knew all along why did it take so long" good question bestie current location- LANY "i need your current location to be my current location" they're idiots in love and want to be together all the time 😔 why dont we go there- one direction "hey i don't want you to be the one that got away i wanna get addicted to you you're rushing through my mind i wanna feel the high i wanna be addicted" well hes already addicted to her blood so might as well like you lots- LANY bc they both have issues and can't say love lmao too much to ask- niall horan vampy though wanting love was too much to ask of miss chiropractor 😔 walking in the wind- one direction this one just has his vibes man 😔 heartbeat- carrie underwood "dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat" bc vampy is obsessed with listening to bloodbag's heart (fan behavior if you ask me) idfc- blackbear this is vampy and ******** bc "tell me that you love me even if it's fake" city of angels- 24kgoldn "i sold my soul to the devil for designer" yes this made me laugh the woods- olivver the kid "waking up in the middle of the woods" "don't you wanna get out of here, out of the woods" flashback to when he was dead in the woods oop "you brought me down to the river, and you pushed me in, hoping that the white rapids would challenge my ability to swim" bc... she's a murderer omg this verse is talking about leaves and i'm freaking out it fits 100% this is crazy "You pick up two handfuls You tell me they're all dried up & dead You know that's nothing like us We'll live forever instead" just a little bit of your heart- ariana grande vampy bc he loves so deeply and completely that he will give all of himself to someone even if they won't do the same my strange addiction- billie eilish bc he is addicted to her blood :) cross your mind- niall horan this is vampy and ******** "love the way you hurt me and it doesn't even cross your mind" "leaving me in pieces (literally lmao) but i swear it's worth it every time" everywhere- niall horan that scene where vampy smelled some perfume or soap or something and it made him think of bloodbag 😔 everything makes him think of her now 😔 "swear it's hard to think it's hard to breathe when you're in the air" put a little love on me- niall horan "you're the only one i need" 😔 bend the rules- niall horan VAMPY AND ******** ALL THE WAY "i'm not saying that you're lying but you're leaving out the truth" heartbreak weather- niall horan "all of my life i've been sleepwalk living, running around the same bars i've been in, it can be so lonely in this city, but it feels different when you're with me" bloodbag and vampy 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 mr loverman- ricky montgomery "i miss my lover man" vampy is probably dramatic like this all the time now that they're official 😔 bad blood- taylor swift again, just for the irony 😌 vapor- 5sos "i want to breathe you in like a vapor i want to be the one you remember i want to feel

your love like the weather all over me" they're so in love like this 😔 catch fire- 5sos "all my life i've been waiting for moments to come" he's been waiting for bloodbag his entire life 😔 beside you-5sos "i wish i was beside you" they want to be together all the time 😔 black and white- niall horan "that first night i was standing at your door fumbling for your keys then i kissed you" ARE YOU KIDDING ME not in the same way- 5sos this is vampy and ******** just bc they were so toxic lkfjskldfjsdlkjf lonely heart-5sos "and i haven't slept in days" lmao ghost of you-5sos "my feet dont dance like they did with you" thinking about when vampy danced for bloodbag and what if they break up 👁️👁️ why wont you love me- 5sos vampy at ******** 😔 he just wanted to be loved 😔😔😔😔😔 fool's gold- one direction "i let you use me from the day that we first met" "i know your love's not real, but that's not the way it feels" STOP IM SAD last first kiss- one direction "let me be your last first kiss" i want them to be together forever 😔 truly madly deeply- one direction "foolishly completely falling and somehow you kicked all my walls in" bloodbag really snuck into his heart huh 😔 fireproof -one direction "nobody saves me baby the way you do" ugh 😔 long story short-taylor swift "clung to the nearest lips long story short it was the wrong guy" (or in vampy's case the wrong vampire) gold rush-taylor swift "and the coastal town we run around has never seen a love as pure as it" bloodbag and vampy are all i want 😔 no judgement- niall horan bc vampy would never judge bloodbag 😔 daddy issues- the neighborhood again im not even gonna say anything here new angel- niall horan "the touch of someone else to save me from myself" this is vampy 😔 god is a woman- ariana grande vampy after he brought bloodbag home the first time something like this- the chainsmokers "just something i can turn to, somebody i can kiss" ALL VAMPY WANTS IS LOVE sweater weather- the neighborhood idk this song makes me think of him all of me- john legend "all of me loves all of you all your curves and all your edges all your perfect imperfections" KSFLKSDJFKLDJSFLJSDKLFJDSKL i like me better- lauv "i like me better when i'm with you" she makes him a better person 😔 sex- eden "oh no, i think i'm catching feelings" vampy when bloodbag went on a date with someone else half a heart- one direction bc bloodbag completes him 😔 theyre so disgusting 😔 only angel- harry styles "turns out she's a devil in between the sheets" woman- harry styles vampy when she was on a date with someone else bc hes a jealous moron temporary fix- one direction this has chappy 1-2 vibes a.m.-one direction when they first started falling in love and he wanted to be with her more often 😔 something great- one direction "i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i don't have to keep imagining" through the dark- one direction just all of this song 😔 happily- one direction "you know i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep i just want it to be you and i forever" 😔 electric love- borns "i can't let you go now that i got it" canyon moon- harry styles they're just happy like this rn 😔 sunflower vol. 6- harry styles "kiss in the kitchen like it's a dancefloor" "mouth full of toothpaste" when they brushed their teeth together 😔 adore you- harry styles obviously

#music #og post

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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❛ ROJO ❜

Songfic with ‘Rojo’, J Balvin.

Translation of the lyrics.

with Nestor Oceteva.

Request #1: Can you maybe do a Nestor imagine where you're Emily's cousin or half sister and you're living with Emily and Miguel temporarily. You've been flirting and teasing him and it finally comes to a head. Smut involved please?

BY ANON.

Request #2: hi hi! I have a steamy request~! (If it's not a bother, of course) Nestor + reader are at a club and they keep teasing him,, maybe you can include lines like “shit, mami, you made a mess” and “you just want the others to hear me fuck you, huh?” 😗👉🏼👈🏼 thank youuu c:

BY @glitchinqhoul.

Warnings: nsfw, smut.

Word count: about 3.6k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author, I found it on google.

Masterlist.

A quién le mientes si en tu soledad quieres verme otra vez. Por ti respondo lo que tú me das, lo que nadie sabe…

Being Emily's half—sister hasn't been easy. She was a good student, the modelic daughter, always being kind, correct and polite. You used to be like the day and the night. But you supposed that this has to be with the fact that your blood isn't the same. She's american, and you're half—mexican. Different cultures, different cities, different people… Different lifes. But that wasn't a problem to adore each other. Emily and you have been best friends since ever, and even if you're the wild side she doesn't have, you admire her temperance.

When your college in Mexico told you that you could do the MIR at Santo Padre, you both were screaming by the phone for two minutes non-stop, until you heard Miguel telling you to stay at his home. That wasn't a bad idea, keeping in mind that you also could see Nestor every day, for the next six month. That man drives you insane since you met him, and he isn't very sane either.

You're checking the hour on the clock of your car, almost reaching the border with California, checking again that your passport and your papers signed for the University are on the copilot seat. So, when you stop at the frontier, you just have to roll down the window and offer them to the agent. Once that you're actually in American territory, you speed up by the empty road a little confused from not seeing any cars. Actually, you're just tired after almost two days driving. Because yes, you could have flown to San Diego, and rented a car. But you like your old Mustang. He has been with you since seven years ago. Coming back to reality, you see through the rearview two big black SUVs coming closer until one of them places itself after you, making you a signal to stop.

Stopping by a side, you step out of your car as Emily does, both running to each other to collide in a happy hug, screaming again and almost jumping.

“Look at you, doctora!” She says laughing and holding your hands, pulling herself away some seconds, before hugging at you again. “C'mon, let Frankie drive your car, so you can rest a little in ours”.

To your surprise, Nestor isn't the one who is driving, supposing that he's in the other black car before yours. But you're sure he's as excited as you are, waiting to have five minutes alone.

Me decido por ti, te decides por mí, a la misma hora. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

Miguel has organized a party with his sober friends. And you're not in the mood to partying, but the tequila helps a little. You're jumping from senators and other politicians, to lawyers and other rich men, just because your brother-in-law is proud of you. And that makes you feel good, but it's kinda boring. So, when you find a space to disappear, you do it at the speed of the light. Finding shelter in the big garage between expensive cars of different sizes and kinds. Resting your back against the classic red Porsche, you light up a smoke among your lips to take a deep drag. You appreciate all the love that Mikey feels for you, and all the help he always gives you, but you're not the kind of girl who has these kinds of parties.

Turning around for an instant, when you hear the door getting opened, to watch Nestor walking towards you. Rolling your eyes, you smirk at him.

“Ay, ya, no me digas que te pusieron en modo perrito guardián, flaco”. (C'mon, don't tell me that Miguel made you be a guard dog). You laugh shaking your head.

“Más o menos”. (More or less). He says taking you off the cig to smoke from it.

“Okay, ládrame, ándale”. (Okay, bark at me, go ahead).

“Soy más de morder”. (I'm more into biting).

“Mírale… Isn't too early to start with that game?”

“Nah”. He replies bowing to the floor to leave the cig, before placing both hands on your ankles, pulling up the long white skirt of your dress too slowly.

Your eyes are fixed on his, getting somewhat darker as his fingertips touch slightly your skin, until he's able to settle between your legs, that you have been opening for him unconsciously. Soon, his lips find your neck, twisting it enough to give him all the space possible. Your hands go to his head, uttering a soft moan when he nails his hands on your ass under the dress. This is your game. You have it since you met, and it's one of your favorite things. A tug of war to see who gives more.

“Fuck, Nestor”. You mutter biting your lower lip, at the same time his teeth catch your skin, putting himself somewhat closer.

Te quiero sentir aquí. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

“Hey, teens in heat, we're going to serve the coctel!” You can hear Emily's laughs from the other side of the door, making you feel your cheeks burning.

“We're going!” You reply a little loud, with Nestor chuckling against your neck.

Pulling him away to put on your dress well, you arrange your mane behind your shoulders before starting to walk back to the house. But when you're about to open the door, he grabs your wrist to make you turn around. Crashing your mouth with his, the man kisses you trying to hide how much he has missed you after five month without seeing each other. Even so, it becomes softer, slow, as if you have all the time you need. His arms surrounding your waist, and yours the back of his head. You're sure that he has never kissed you like that, but it feels too good. Nestor's touch has been ever so warm that could melt the coldest heart, actually, more or less like yours.

Tres y cuatro de la mañana, ven, mata estas ganas. Vamos a llegarle a mi cama, que todo lo he ignorado por ti, todo ha sido por ti. Mi cuerpo sin saber te llama.

You like to eat. You enjoy eating, and that coctel wasn't enough for you. So, waiting by reading some emails until the family is already sleeping, you step out of your new room silent like a cat. Going downstairs, you walk towards the kitchen to assault the freezer.

“Bendito Miguel”.

You whisper finding all the chocolate ice cream he has bought for you. Grabbing one of the tubs and a big spoon, you sit at the island in the center of the kitchen, with the lights off. And you were so concentrated on your task, that you didn't hear Nestor coming. Not even noticing his presence until he nails a second spoon into the tub.

“Shit! Nestor! Fuck… You're gonna fucking kill me one of these days”. You mutter, placing both hands on your chest, with the covered inside your mouth.

The man chuckles almost in silence, having some ice cream.

“Seriously, you need to stop of being this fucking silent”.

“Yeah, I know you like me being loud”.

Raising your eyebrows, you finally shake your head before such an occurrence.

“What about the kiss?”

“What kiss?” He asks a little confused. “Oh! Ya. What happens with that? It was just a kiss?”

“Yes, for sure”.

“I was just happy for you being here. We're friends, it's been five month since we met last time”.

Right in the friend-with-benefits zone, while you were thinking that finally he was catching the same feelings you have for him.

“Cool”.

“Cool?”

“What?”

“It sounded as if I just stabbed you”.

“Why would my friend like to stab me?”

Y estas no son horas de llamar, pero es que el deseo siempre puede más. Podemos pelearnos y hasta alejarnos, pero cuando llega la hora.

You didn't know that Miguel was a friend of the director of the hospital you're going to work at. And he settled a dinner to meet him. Another boring one, and you start to think that your brother-in-law wants to kill you and doesn't know how to do it. You love your work and what you do, but the work stays in the hospital, and you were too distracted about Nestor's words last night. You have been avoiding him the whole day, not even looking at him in the dinner, placed some meters away from the table studying the perimeter. And you know that he's getting more nervous as the hours pass by.

After finishing the meeting, you finally can breathe again inside the big car, checking some messages from your father asking how everything is going. You better don't reply. Keeping it inside your small bag, before leaning towards the front seat with both arms on them.

“Hey, Cartel daddy”.

Your sister breaks into laughs because of the sophisticated name, while Miguel turns at you frowning.

“Listen. Why don't I pull out the stick inside your ass and we go to a real party, ah? There's a new club some minutes ago from Santo Padre, and looks cool”.

“Did you ca—”.

“Hey, Pocahontas, that's the address”. You say to Nestor, offering him your phone to grab it.

Emily is drowning with her own laughs by your side, making you laugh too, when she remembers that you're not allowed to drink red wine because of this. You have the mania of giving funny names to everybody around you.

“What? Cartel daddy and Pocahontas. Sounds like a bad netflix tv-show I would watch”.

Tratan y se caen de la mata, quieren comprarte siempre con plata, pero ese tesoro tiene pirata. Me voy a toda por ti.

While the men prefer a reserved, watching the whole dancefloor from there, and talking about business and appointments, Emily and you enjoy a bunch of mimosas among the crowd jumping and having fun. You really needed it. And you're aware that she already knows that something is happening between the head security and you. Something bad. She doesn't have to be the most intelligent person of the world.

“I would tell him what I feel!” Your sister says, trying to make you hear her above the noise.

“He kicked my ass to the friend zone last night!” The blonde wrinkles her nose confused, seeing you nodding and drinking by your straw.

“Are you kidding me?! He was super excited to see you again! Like super excited!”

“Yeah! He kissed me! But he kissed me like Miguel kisses you! Then he told me it was just a kiss!”

“He's in love with you!”

“No, sista! He's only in love with your husband and with himself!”

“Tell him you don't want to be just his friend!”

“Me?! Oh, no, darling! I'm not gonna humiliate myself like that!”

“C'mon! You fucking pendejos!” She pouts at you.

“You just want Nestor to have a girlfriend, so you can spend more time with your husband! Bitch, I know you better than anyone!”

“I want my little sister to be happy!”

“You want your Cartel daddy!” Breaking into laughs, you place an arm on her shoulders to come back to the reserved.

“What's so funny?” Miguel asks pouring some champagne on two glasses.

“Your wife wants to settle me on a blind date”.

Me decido por ti, te decides por mí, a la misma hora. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

“I'm not going to let you go on a blind date”.

You were refreshing your nape and wrists with water, when you heard him coming closer after locking the bathroom door of the reserved Miguel rented. Looking at him through the mirror, you give him your back to grab some paper and dry your hands. Throwing it into the bin, you turn around to face him.

“Why?”

“It's dangerous”. He just says, tangling his hands on a fist under his abdomen.

“You stabbed me last night, and I survived. I'm pretty sure I will survive to a blind date”. Good point, taking the advantage to pass him away.

But he stops you with an arm surrounding your waist. His chest meeting your back, while his free hand wraps your throat. You're feeling the characteristic heat that Nestor produces in you being so close, running up your legs to your low belly. His thumb caresses your skin, over the jugular vein, leaning towards you to kiss the line of your jaw. Biting your bottom lip, wrapping his wrists letting the free hand goes down by your stomach with a clear destiny.

“We are made for each other”. Nestor mumbles into your ear with a horse tone of voice.

“Yes, to be friends”. You tease him, grabbing his wrist to make him stop, wanting to hear the reality coming from his mouth.

“To be together”. He corrects you then, without a single doubt hitting his vocal chords and turning you under his hands.

Crashing his lips on yours, he makes you walk backwards until your body finds the cold wall. He's as eager as you are, lifting up a leg to surround his waist, while his hand toures your skin until being able to squeeze your ass with a warm growl dying inside his throat.

“I want you in all the ways possible, (Y/N)”. He mutters, trying to hide the anger he feels imagining you with another man. “I want you with me. Only with me”.

Pulling him to the black and golden velvet armchair, you watch him undoing his belt and his pants zipper, noticing the rock under his clothes. Seeing him rolling them down his legs to his ankles, while you take off your dress to leave it over the sink, to sit over his lap with his body between your legs. You haven't taken off the white lace panties, because you know how much he likes the friction of them in every move he does, on a side of his sensible skin. While one of his big hands massage your breast with some strength, the ringed one strokes his needed cock, lying back on the couch.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” You whisper into his mouth, unbuttoning his shirt to stroke his bare chest.

“You don' know how much I need your pussy, cariño”. He just says, looking at you with parted lips grabbing his erection between your fingers.

“I don't think that's enough”. Teasing him, you guide his throbbing and warmth glans to your folds, pressing it against your wet clit and swinging softly your hips.

“I've been waiting five months for you jumping over my cock, mami. You know I am fucking desperate for your soaked pussy suffocating me and pushing me into the limit”. Nestor almost begs, placing his hands on both sides of your waist. “Ride your cock, baby. Look at how hard it's because of you. It fucking painful”.

“And what if I punish you about what you said last night… putting my clothes on again and leaving you there alone, ah?”

“Don't do that shit, (Y/N). I fucking implore you”. He quickly complains pecking your lips with short kisses. “You're already fucking killing me”.

Leading a little back his hardness between your legs, you dig it into you slowly, feeling every inch of his erection pressing your tight walls. He's thicker than you can remember, having passed too much time since the last time, needing some seconds to mold your body to his. A soft moan escapes from your mouths when his glans pushes your g-spot, urging you to spread more your legs forcing you to feel him completely. And you can't describe that sensation.

“Tell me you didn't miss my cock…” He chuckles, erasing that fancy smile from his lips by swinging your hips just one time.

His growl echoes throughout the bathroom, before catching your lips between his to bite them, making you dance on top of him. The pleasure is immeasurable, bouncing over his hard rock once and again. Once and again, arching your back under his arms, while his mouth now devours the skin of your neck, wetting it with his saliva and marking every inch with his teeth. The pace becomes rough and faster, slapping your ass with both hands to squeeze your buttocks so needed that you're desiring to feel his cum filling you up. But you like his cock pounding you.

“I'm going to make the others hear you being fucked by me, mi amor…” He bellows, making you beg when pulling out himself from you to get up.

Guiding you quickly to the sink and giving him your back, placing a hand on your nape, he makes you lean over the sink before putting aside your panties to thrust his soaked cock back to your pussy. The scream you utter when his pelvis hits you so rough, isn't normal. Being sure that your sister and Miguel already heard you. His hands nailed on your hips make each lunge deeper, watching him through the mirror the pleased look on his face, while his gaze is fixed in your. He enjoys seeing you bite your bottom lip and closing your eyes, every time he slaps you with his ringed fingers, knowing that this pleasure it's going to fuck you up tomorrow. But you love the way he has to uninhibit himself, after being the whole day following orders.

“Shit, baby… I want you all my fucking life”. He gasps leaning his head back with closed eyelids, impaling you against the marble counter of the sink.

Maybe you should have taken off the heels to not lose the balance, but you didn't think about it, and now you're fighting against your shaky legs.

“Look how good you take it all… my fucking god, (Y/N). You're fucking drenching me”.

Yes, you can feel it. You can feel your juices and his slipping down your thighs, producing a soaked dirty sound every time his body collides with yours so hard. Urging you to incorporate your chest from the sink with a hand grabbing your throat and the other arm surrounding your waist, Nestor arches your back, placing his face on your shoulder.

“Drown my fucking… dick with your cum, mi amor…” He begs you, biting your love, without removing his darkened orbs from yours, through your reflections.

“Shit, Nestor…” You're not sure when you start to cry because of the pleasure, needing more, needing to reach the orgasm. “Fuck me harder, I fucking beg you… Por favor”.

You can't barely breathe when his finger finds your clit, stroking it with the same pace he's embedding you against the furnishing. Your moans dance all around the bathroom, while he's gasping over your ear how much he wants to fuck you for the rest of his life, everywhere, at anytime you want it. And by crying out his name and clinging to him, a lash of heat evolves you, making your pussy twitch uncontrollably as the tears fall down your cheek. Your palpitating walls clenching his cock, making his vocals get louder as long as he continues diving his warmth hardness into you, closer from his own ecstasy.

You don't need to tell him that you want him to cum inside you, mixing it with yours, because he already has other plans. Pulling himself out and jerking off his dick, he spills his seed over your wet panties, bathing them on it as his throat collapses because of the pleasure. But don't waste time putting them to the side again to pound you again, pressing his body against yours as much as he can, holding your anatomy into his arms.

Te quiero sentir aquí. Me dan ganas de ti, te dan ganas de mí, a la misma hora.

It's four am and you can't sleep thinking about what he said to you. Sighing, you sit up on your bed, curling your knees against your chest and surrounding them with both arms. He already told you that he wants you, but was he talking or his jealousy? You're doubting about going to his house, or texting him, or doing anything. Grabbing your phone from the nightstand and a cig from the packet, you step out of your dorm to walk downstairs towards the terrace. Sitting on one of the sofas outside, you light the smoke to have a drag, unlocking your phone. Your trembling fingers touch the screen over the keyboard; writing and deleting, writing and deleting. But you're unable to send any message. Feeling stupid, you finally write him that you can't sleep, listening the ding of your own notification so close that makes you frown confused.

“Me neither”.

With your lips pursed and a leg curled over the sofa, you turn ashamed towards him. Nestor is wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white big shirt. You're sure that you have never seen him before without wearing a suit. And you are falling loudly for him much more than ever. Putting out the cigarette, you stand up on your feet to lead them towards you.

“Stay with me, at least tonight”. You mutter, tangling your fingers with his.

“But move with me tomorrow”. Nestor asks you then, before hugging you as close as he can.

“Deal”. You reply, placing your chin on his chest to look at him, receiving some short kisses all around your face that make you laugh.

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labyrinth-runner · 3 years

Note

"I... Think I'm in love" with Dan?????

Okay, so I’m writing this one as a sequel to War of Hearts, because it just fit and I hope that’s okay.

Title: Love Heals

Word Count: 3000

Your wedding night was quiet. He helped you with the ties of your gown and then retired to his own room. The bed felt too big for just you alone as you tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. Eventually, you grew tired of it and slipped on your robe before padding down the hall.

You took a steeling breath before gently rapping your knuckles against the door.

The door was open in a matter of seconds and he was looking down at you with concern in his eyes, “Couldn’t sleep?”

“The bed is just...” you trailed off, looking down at your feet. You felt silly, standing in front of this stranger because you couldn’t sleep.

Gently, he tipped your chin back up so that you would look at him, “Would you like to sleep in here?” His voice was soft.

You allowed yourself to nod.

A small smile settled on his lips as he stepped aside for you to enter.

Tucking your arms behind your back, you stepped into his candlelit room. You noted that his bed wasn’t turned down yet, meaning he hadn’t even gone to bed. As you turned back to him, you realized he was still in his suit.

“What were you doing before I knocked?” you asked curiously as you sat on the edge of the bed.

“I was writing to my estate to have them ready the manor for you,” he replied.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “You want me to go to the manor without you?”

“It’s to be your home,” he said, brows furrowing.

“But you won’t be there,” you murmured.

“If you would like, you can host as many friends as you want,” he offered as he leaned against his desk.

If you were being honest, you weren’t sure you were ready to leave home and your parents. “How far away is it?”

“Two day’s ride,” he estimated. “It’s in upstate New York. I own an apple orchard.”

Somehow, you could see that. You rested your hands on your hips as you came over to him, “Am I expected to pick these apples?”

“Only if you want to eat or cook with them,” he smirked.

You smiled back, feeling the tension break. Then, you folded your hands in front of you. “When do you have to go back to the frontline?”

“At the end of the week,” he replied, gently reaching forward to take your hands in his. They were warm and slightly rough against your skin as he dragged his thumb back and forth across the backs of your hand.

“You should get some rest,” you said softly, taking your hands back. Your hands trembled slightly as you reached up to unbutton his vest. “At the very least, you should get more comfortable.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, taking your hand and kissing your finger tips. “Get some sleep. I’ll join you when I finish this letter.”

You withdrew from him, slightly in relief, and slightly in disappointment. Gingerly, you took your robe off and hung it off the bed post before slipping into bed. After closing your eyes, you let the soft sound of his pen dragging across a page lull you to sleep.

The days passed by swiftly. It wasn’t nearly enough time to truly get to know your husband. Soon enough, you found yourself at the train station about to say goodbye.

“Well, this next one is mine,” he murmured as you stood there on the platform.

“Will you write to me?” you asked, a little too eagerly.

“If you wish it,” he said with a slight smile. “Although, I don’t suppose that my stories of war would be pleasant to hear.”

“If you don’t wish to talk about war, then romance me instead,” you shot back.

A slight tinge of pink settled into his cheeks. “Alright, Mrs. Torrance. I think I can do that.”

Mrs. Torrance. It was like an arrow to your heart.

His train pulled up to the station and he gave you an apologetic look. “I wish we had more time.”

“Win the war and you’ll be back before you know it,” you replied with a soft smile. “Be safe, Captain Torrance.”

“I’ll try to come back to you in one piece,” he said, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze.

It wasn’t enough for the occasion. He was going off to fight and you might never see him again. Sure, you barely knew him and had only been married for a week, but a hand squeeze was not enough for the gravity of the situation. You tipped up on your toes to kiss his cheek, letting your lips linger on his skin for a moment more than you would have a week ago.

“Good bye, Captain,” you said as you pulled back.

“Good bye, my dear,” he grinned before saluting the superior officer ushering troops onto the train.

You stayed on the platform longer than necessary, not moving from your spot until the train was far into the distance and had disappeared around the bend. Then, you got into the carriage with all your things atop it and rode for your new home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The manor sprawled in front of you. An orchard engulfed the horizon around the house and you could not help the smile on your face. It was so much grander than he had told you.

As the carriage pulled up the drive, you let a small chuckle escape your lips. This was your home? It was so much more than you could have imagined. Stepping out of the carriage, the cool, crisp air filled your lungs. It was so much cleaner than the city.

Hired help unloaded your bags into the manor as you went up the stairs of the porch.

“Mrs. Torrance, this was left for you,” the butler said before handing you a letter.

You took it, walking absentmindedly through the house as you explored.

Eventually, you happened upon what you figured was your husband’s study. Books lined the walls and a large brown mahogany desk sat amidst it all. You ran your hand along the leather chair before sitting down and opening the letter.

Dear wife,

If you’re reading this, then you have arrived at Helen Rivington Estate without me. It’s something I would have liked to avoid. After all, I should have carried you across the threshold as any husband ought. I can only hope that absence will make the heart grow fonder. In lieu of my physically being there, I thought I would leave you a little hunt around the grounds to show you my favorite places.

Until we meet again,

Dan

You flipped the letter over and found a series of clues. A grin broke across your face as you started off on your quest.

The hunt took you all around the estate as you found little clues and poems that let you get to know the man you had married more and more. By the end of it all, you found yourself in a secret library behind the room you’d started in. Light streamed in through a stained glass window, coating a plush chair in a warm glow. If the room outside was your husband’s study, then this would be your special place that you could go to be close to him when he needed to work.

You sat down on the chair and started to pen your first letter to him, telling him all about your day’s adventures. Words flowed freely with more ease than earlier that week. You were comfortable with who you were, and what it would be like to be Mrs. Torrance.

It was the first letter of many that the two of you sent back and forth for months while he was away. With each stroke of the pen you fell more and more in love with him. Rarely did he ever mention the war, true to his earlier statement. Although, sometimes you wish he had. You wanted to know what life was like for him. You wanted to share in his struggles and emotional hardships.

Every response contained a small couplet of a poem that he wrote for you, usually based upon the contents in your letter. However, they always made you smile. Although he wasn’t home, his letters made it feel as if he were only a moment away at all times. It made the loneliness of the vast estate and the quiet of your bedchambers more bearable as it filled with your laughter at his words.

And then the letters stopped.

You weren’t sure if it was something you had done or if something had happened, but you went through your days with a pit in your stomach. Something was wrong, but you didn’t know what. Weeks without correspondence turned to months and you found yourself retreating back into your worries and sadness. Part of you debated returning home to surround yourself with those you knew and loved.

The idea was growing more and more appealing as the seasons changed and you found yourself pulling the shawl tighter around yourself as you walked in the orchard. You had sent staff home for the season and were walking through the rows of trees with a basket in hand. Absentmindedly, you picked apples and placed them into the basket, letting the silence surround you.

Then you heard it.

The familiar clip clop of horses hooves up the gravel drive.

You stood in disbelief, sure that you were hearing things until you saw the carriage come down the drive. The basket fell from your hands and you hiked up your skirts. You scrambled over fallen apples and tree roots to get back up the drive.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you took in the body on the back of the cart.

“No,” you whispered, dropping your gown. You walked towards the carriage in a haze.

“Ma’am, are you Mrs. Torrance?” the man driving the cart asked.

“Yes,” you breathed as he came to a stop.

The man nodded and got into the back of the carriage. “Come on, Danny. You’re home,” he said as he pulled a man up into a position so that he could help him walk.

You let out a breath of relief. He’s alive. Then, you rushed over to help the man carry your husband into the house. Together, the two of you managed to get him into bed.

“What happened?” you asked the man who had brought him.

“The Captain was sent sprawling from canon fire after being shot in the arm. We were deep in the South for weeks. I’m surprised he lasted as many skirmishes as he did. Then, he got hit down in Georgia. The camp doc was able to get the bullet out of his arm and disinfect it. It won’t go green on you, but he can’t shoot in this condition. If he can’t shoot, he’s better off staying home,” the man explained. “Besides, the doc said that being home with his lovely wife would recover him faster than seeing our ugly mugs.”

You had to crack a smile at that.

“Ma’am, if I may be so bold,” the man replied, “Your husband is one of the bravest men I’ve ever known. I wish him a speedy recovery.”

“Thank you,” you murmured, seeing the other man out the door.

After he left, you returned to the side of the bed with some fresh water and cloths. Gently, you dabbed at your husband’s face, cleaning off the dirt and ash that had settled there.

“I must look like a mess,” he murmured, eyes still closed.

“No worse than when I married you,” you teased.

“You wound me more than any bullet could,” he smirked, opening his eyes to look at you. They softened as he saw the worry lines etched on your face. Gently, he reached up with his good arm to swipe away a tear you hadn’t noticed.

You covered his hand with your own, leaning into his touch. “When you didn’t respond,” you sniffled, “I thought the worst. I thought you were killed or that you regretted this.”

“Oh, sweetheart, never,” he sighed, rubbing his thumb along your cheek. “I promised you I’d come back.”

“In one piece, Captain,” you shot back.

“Dan,” he smirked. “If you’re going to yell at me, at least use my given name.”

You couldn’t stay mad at him. It was in that moment that you realized, full and truly that you loved him. Yet, in the back of your mind, you remembered all the constraint of your wedding night and the distance he had purposely put between the two of you.

“We’ve got to clean you up,” you replied. “If your face is this dirty, I can’t imagine what the rest of you is like.”

Dan winced as you helped him sit up before gently starting to disrobe his torso.

Avoiding eye contact, you set to work smoothing a clean cloth over his body, working in slow circles to clear the caked on dirt and grime.

“You’re holding your breath,” you murmured, looking up at him through your lashes as you focused on his chest.

“You’re so close,” he replied.

“I’m your wife,” you said with a chuckle, “Is it so wrong that I am close?”

“No,” he swallowed, “I’m just not used to it.”

You nodded, finishing up your work. “I’ll wash your uniform. Let me just find you some replacement clothes first.”

“I can dress myself,” he quickly said.

You gave him a skeptical look. “If you need me, call for me. I should start dinner soon.”

He nodded, watching you as you left.

As the door clicked shut behind you, a feeling of disappointment washed over you. It wasn’t a flat out rejection, but it felt like one. Perhaps you were overthinking it. You shoved it aside and decided to work at the matter at hand, nursing your husband back to health.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of weeks, the two of you grew closer. You’d talk in the sun room over tea; you’d read together in the study; you even showed him how you had redecorated the secret library to suit your interests. Discussion flowed just as easily now as it had in your letters. Yet, every time you’d make physical progress towards intimacy, he’d pull back.

It was infuriating.

One day, while you were picking apples in the fields together, you confronted him. “Why do you always pull away when I get close?”

Dan stopped a few paces behind you while still holding the basket, “What do you mean?”

“Whenever I get too close to you, you pull away. It’s like we take three steps forward and two steps back,” you sighed, turning back to face him. Gently, you took the basket from him and placed it on the ground to take his hand.

He interlocked his fingers with yours, “I don’t always.”

“Dan,” you murmured. “I....think I’m in love.”

He dropped your hand and shook his head. “You can’t mean that.”

“I can, and I do,” you pleaded.

He was pulling away yet again, but this time you wouldn’t let him. Gripping the collar of his shirt, you pulled him down to your level and kissed him. To your surprise, he started to kiss back. His arm snaked around your waist to pull you flush against him before he pinned you to a tree. His hand came up to cup the side of your face as he deepened the kiss. Your mind was racing as you registered the feeling of his soft lips against yours. How someone could kiss in such a loving, yet passionate way was new to you. Eventually, you broke the kiss for air.

“I thought you didn’t-” you started.

“I love you,” Dan said sincerely.

“But-”

He gave you another quick kiss. “I know you didn’t want this, so I didn’t want to push you.”

“I didn’t at first,” you admitted, leaning your head back against the tree trunk to look up at him. “But, then I got to know you and I fell in love with you.”

“Oh?” he asked with a large grin on his face.

“Yes,” you grinned back. “I’m proud to be Mrs. Torrance.”

Without warning, he scooped you up in his arms.

“Danny!” you laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”

“If you remember correctly, I told you that I wanted to carry you into our home when you moved in here,” Dan told him. “I plan to do that.”

You rested your head on his shoulder. “I won’t protest.”

He carried you through the house and towards the bedroom. As he opened the door with his back, you heard the distant sound of bells.

“What’s that about?” you asked curiously.

Dan beamed as he looked down at you. “The war’s over. Those are the celebration bells.”

“So you’re home for good now?” you asked, trying to keep the obvious glee from your voice.

“I’m home for good,” he grinned before kissing you deeply as he lowered you to the bed.

#dan torrance x reader #dan torrance #Doctor Sleep #arranged marriage au

35 notes · View notes

acdeaky · 4 years

Text

are you ready for love?

warning: fluff, alcohol consumption, strong language, slight angst?

note: congrats on 4k followers @writingfortoomanyfandoms ! i began writing this and then fell out of love with it, but i (finally) figured out the ending and fell back in love! enjoy!

word count: 4.5k

black lives matter

“what I'm saying is - and this is not a come on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way!” dan spoke, a little too loudly for the restaurant the group was in, trying to voice his (very out-of-date) opinion above the rest of the group. he was met with a lot of voices arguing he was wrong, and a fry from shane’s plate. “what?” he practically whined.

“just because you want to shag any girl you're friends with, and who doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean that every guy is the same!” harry perked up, practically punching dan in the arm after his comment.

“it so means every guy is the same,” dan argued, looking over at you. “you and ben are only close because he wants to get in your pants.”

“why did we let him join?” you asked everyone else, basically pretending that dan wasn't sat a few seats away from you.

“because he's my brother and has no other friends.” erin replied from next to you, a hand resting on your thigh which was pressed against her’s.

“that is not true.”

“oh, dan, sweetie, it is.” erin just smiled sarcastically at her brother, her eyes showing faux sympathy.

“you all know i’m right, but you don't want to say it,” another chorus of disagreement came from the group, as did another fry from shane’s plate. “mate, would you stop that?” shane just shook his head, wrapping his arm around the back of renee’s chair and lightly brushed his fingers against your shoulder. next to ben, you were definitely closest to shane with him being like a big brother to you.

somehow, the rest of the meal went without a hitch. dan quieted down with the unpopular opinions and everyone else enjoyed each other’s company as they finished their meals and had a few drinks afterwards. shane and renee were the first ones to leave. both of them had had long days at work, but made it out for the meal, and were now more than ready to collapse into their bed. harry and erin were next. as they paid their part and begun to leave, they dragged dan out with them, keeping him from saying something inappropriate to you and/or lucy.

after those three left, you and lucy stayed a little longer. it had been a while since the two of you had hung out together alone, and a catchup with definitely needed.

“so what’s the real reason ben didn’t come tonight? he's definitely not ill else you would be there nursing him back to health.” she teased, giving you a light prod to your side.

“he didn't want to have to deal with comments from dan,” you stated plainly. “and i’m glad ben didn’t come else he would have had to deal with exactly what he didn't want to deal with.”

“yeh, that's fair. maybe we should stop inviting dan to these things.”

“maybe,” you both giggled, thinking of how much more civilised somethings would be without him. “that's too mean, though. erin would not be happy.”

“she most definitely wouldn't be, but dan’s a dickhead.”

“oh, yeh.” the two of you sat gigging for a little longer, the few drinks the both of you had had making their way completely into your system. after chatting for a little longer (and realising you should both definitely go home), you paid the rest of the bill and left, still chatting as you got into your car, travelling back to your same apartment building.

the ride home wasn't long. luckily, the group had mutually decided on a restaurant that was close to both of your apartments, meaning it only took about ten minutes to get home. the traffic was light and it seemed that every light turned green just in time for you. sooner than you knew, you were heading out of the garage of the apartment building, heading towards the lift and pressing the ninth floor button for lucy and the tenth floor button for you. as you reached her floor, you shared a slightly emotional goodbye with each other. it took exactly 23 seconds to get from the lift to your apartment (you had counted many times) and as you swung the door open, there was ben, sat idly on your sofa with his feet up and netflix playing on the TV.

“hello, wanderer.” he teased as he heard you pull off your shoes and collapse onto the sofa next to him. “did you have fun? was dan a dick?”

“when is dan not a dick?” you only replied, pulling your knees closer to your chest as you turned your body into ben’s. one of his hands lifted off of his thigh for you to do so, landing back down on your knee.

“that's true. what did he say this time?”

“that men and women can't be friends because the sex part gets in the way.”

“well that's not true, look at us!” ben said, his eyes quickly flitting to you and then straight back to the TV.

“yeh, look at us.”

“you are woman, i am man. we no sex.” he spoke in a deeper voice, making you giggle at his ridiculous impression of a caveman.

“i’m just glad you weren't there; another comment from him would have sent your fist through his face.”

“oh, yeh. but erin would not have been happy.”

“she most definitely wouldn't be.” you giggled again, thinking back to the conversation you had had with lucy. “i’m actually so tired, i think i’m just calling it a night. you stay as long as you like” as you got up, you pointed to ben, giving him a look which said ‘keep it down’ which he replied with a salute. you gave the other a quiet ‘night’ before placing a kiss on his cheek and dragging your feet to your bedroom.

as you got ready for bed, you couldnt help but think back to what dan had said. if you told erin and lucy (or even ben) that you were contemplating his words, they would have told you to stop and say that ‘dan was just being dan. he didn't mean it’. you just couldn’t help thinking about whether it was true. of course, you were close to shane and harry, but they both had girlfriends, they definitely wouldn't want anything to do with what’s in your pants. but you were also close to ben, and he didn't have a girlfriend. the only explanation for you two being close was that he wanted what was in your pants, not in your head nor your heart.

it pained you to think of that; ben being here only to try it on. of course, ben was attractive and had sex appeal, but he was also your best friend and you weren't about to jump in to bed with him at the first chance. you have never, and will never, go about relationships like that. to you, it was unbelievable how much you let dan’s comment cloud your mind, yet you almost hoped there was some truth to it.

only a wall away, ben was sat thinking the exact same thing. the show he was binging was still playing in the background, but in the forefront of his mind was dan’s comment. ben knew men and women could be friends without sex getting involved; he had those relationships with all the girls in the group, except her. although he wouldn't openly admit it to anyone, he had developed feelings, but didn't want to ruin what the two had by trying it on with her. so ben sat back and tried to let his feelings settle. that instantly failed when he continued to hang out with her almost everyday and talk to her everyday. it didn't take him long to realise he was in love.

ben didn't stay for much longer; his eyes were being to strain to properly see the TV and dan's comment was still lingering in his thoughts. he quietly turned off the TV and left the room, practically tiptoeing past your room as he entered the guest room (which was almost his considering how often he slept in it). all he did was slip out of his jeans, jumper and socks, leaving on his boxers and slid into bed. just like you, it didn't take him long to fall asleep, soon drifting off nestled within the comfy sheets and only imagining what it would be like to hold you in his arms.

in the morning, ben woke up before you (like usual) and set himself the task of making breakfast. he knew you'd be hungry this morning and, as soon as he got out of bed and put on a pair of shorts, he made his way into the kitchen and began making his famous pancakes. it didn't take long for you to wake up nor did it take long for you to smell the pancakes.

“morning, chef.” you smiled lazily as you walked into the kitchen.

“morning to you, too.” like usual in a morning, ben was clad in some shorts and a plain t-shirt as he stood in front of the hob. the teapot had already been filled and there was a half empty cup stood on the side next to the hob. “sleep well?”

“yeh, i guess.” ‘don't tell him’ you thought to yourself. “i just couldn't stop thinking about dan's comment last night.”

“love, i've told you before to take no notice of him-”

“no, ben, he said something else last night. not just the men and women and sex thing.”

“well, what else did he say?” he asked, less annoyed this time, switching off the ring and giving you his full attention.

“he said that you and i are only close because you want to get into my pants.” although he asked you to tell him (and you would have told him anyway), you couldn’t help but feel ashamed at telling ben. you knew he would be mad that you let something dan said cloud your judgement about him, but you also knew that he would deny it. you wished he wouldn’t.

“you know that’s not true, right?” there it was. “you know i would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. don’t let him get into your head; he’s a dick.”

“yeh, course.” you mumbled as ben turned back to the pan, flipping out the pancake onto a plate. as both of you ate, you sat talking about anything and everything. you were content just being here with ben, and yet you still couldn’t get those thoughts out of your head.

to ben, all you would be is his best friend; he made that perfectly clear last night and this morning. to you, your feelings would always be there, making it unfair on anyone else you dated. your heart was wrapped around ben indefinitely.

after breakfast was finished and the kitchen was tidy, you said your goodbyes to ben (even though you don’t normally kick him out this early), making up a lie about finishing off some things for work. what you really wanted to do was talk to erin and lucy; you needed to empty your head to someone.

“hey, you guys are okay to chat, right?” you asked as soon as the facetime connected to the both of them.

“yeh, of course!” “i’ve got my wine, i’m ready.” they both replied, supportive smiles already on their faces.

“okay, i’m sorry i’m bringing this up again, but i’m still thinking about dan’s comment last night.”

“which one?” erin giggled, taking a sip of her wine.

“the one about ben only being close to me because he wants to get in my pants.”

“that’s not true.”

“it’s true.”

“what?” you and erin asked lucy, who sat with a slight smirk on her face.

“ben does want to get into your pants, but not as a one time fling or being friends with benefits, he really likes you.”

“he does?”

“yeh,” both you and erin looked at each other, pure shock coming over your face and slight shock on erin’s. “he got drunk with the lads one night and came to my place instead of yours-”

“makes sense,” erin perked up, taking another sip of her wine. “your apartment is literally a floor below Y/N’s.”

“exactly; he miscounted the floor numbers and came to my door. he kept on apologising so i let him in and he just ranted about dan saying stupid things again about the two of you. then he spilt his feelings and almost broke down asking me not to say anything. i told him he should go to your place and tell you himself. he said he would and i assumed he did, but obviously-”

“he didn’t. that night he came up to my apartment and basically passed out on the sofa. i pulled his shoes off and left him a glass of water and some painkillers for the morning. that was it; he didn't really say anything at all until the next morning.” you frowned, thinking at how literally minutes before ben stumbled into your apartment, he'd stumbled out of lucy’s.

“wow, well i knew benny boy had feelings, but i didn’t know he did that.” erin said, turning and making sure harry hadn't heard any of that conversation.

“no one knew, i kept ben’s drunk escapade a secret. he couldn’t even remember it happening.” after that, all three of you were slightly stunned into silence. it was a minute before anyone spoke.

“what are you gonna do?” erin’s voice was small, something that isn't normal for her. her wine glass had been discarded (though half empty) and she and lucy were both looking at you. you knew your face hadn't change. even without looking at your screen, you knew the only look on your face was disbelief.

“i-i don't know.”

“surely you're gonna do something?” lucy gasped.

“and say what to him? ‘hey, ben. i've just been chatting to our good friend lucy and it turns out you drunkenly told her about your feelings for me’. i’m not good with confrontation!”

“and that's why you two will never be together!” erin chuckled, shaking her head at you.

“what do you mean?

“i mean, you're scared of confrontation and ben will never admit his feelings for you because he's scared you’ll reject him.”

“but i wouldn’t-”

“he doesn’t know that.” she was right. ben doesn’t know what you're thinking, and you don't know what he's thinking. right now, the only way to get over the situation is if you say something. yet, you couldn't help but think that ben’s drunken confession was just that: drunken and stupid.

“i need some time to think, girls.”

“okay.”

“just keep us in the loop, yeh?” lucy asked, pity absolutely drowning her face.

“will do, bye.” you waved as did lucy and erin, saying their own goodbyes before you ended the call.

this had changed everything. of course it had. you definitely didn't feel the same way you did before the call, and you definitely didn't feel the same way about ben as you did before the call. you couldn’t help but think if this had changed things, if this had given you the confidence to finally tell ben about how you feel.

it was something to sleep on, something to cloud your thoughts for another night.

but you didn’t get the chance to do that. before you had even managed to settle down for the night, there was a loud, and brash, knock at your door. the thought of ignoring them crossed your mind, hoping it would be a drunken fool who had stumbled across the wrong apartment.

yet, no matter how long you stayed laying on your back, staring at the blank canvas of your ceiling, the knocking did not cease. with a grumble, you made your way through your apartment and towards the front door, not bothering to switch on any of the lights on your way.

as soon as your door was open, whoever was on the other side flung themselves inside, stumbling as they attempted to pull off their shoes. you couldn’t even see who the person was, the low light of the hallway doing little to help you figure out who the intruder was.

and, just as you were about to speak up, the person spoke - though it was more of a grumble - and said, “luce, i’m sorry for doin’ this again.” ben. his voice was slurred and his actions were full of haste. the way he threw his shoes to the side and his jacket on to the floor made you realise he truly thought he was on the floor below; everywhere he was throwing things were where lucy had furniture.

then you realised something else; it was happening again. that night lucy had told you about, with ben drinking with the lads, had happened again. though, you weren’t sure if he was drinking alone or not, but whatever had happened to ben had made him feel the need to see lucy, before anything.

“i know it’s prob’ly late, but i can’t stop thinking about her and you’re the only person who knows how i feel.” came ben’s mumbling voice again. he sounded weak, vulnerable, something you’d never heard in any tone of his voice before. well, there were some exceptions, but this voice, this tone, was something else. and it scared you.

but you stayed quiet, waiting for ben to either say something again or... something else to happen, like a meteor hitting the earth, to save the both of you from this conversation.

“fuck, you moved things around in here?” he grumbled, walking around to find something to grip onto or sit on.

your head was screaming to say something, to reply and end whatever this was, yet your heart was screaming to save yourself the heartache (from what, you didn’t know).

it wasn’t until ben managed to find a lightswitch that your heart began to race even faster than before. you were met with his disheveled look, his boots haphazardly pulled off and scattered across your floor and his jacket thrown carelessly across the wood of your dining table mismatched his reddening eyes and mess of his hair.

and, as if time was frozen, ben stood against the wall of your apartment, his eyes as wide as ever and his heart thumping against the case of his chest. you were no better; at least you knew who had stumbled into your apartment, but ben was in shock. because it was you. of course it was you, who else could make ben’s heart beat as fast as you could?

which is why ben stood still, acting as if he stayed deadly still, the predator before him would ignore his very existence. but the elephant was in the room, and you could not ignore the existence of that.

“ben,” you whispered, your voice stretching out to fill the gap between your bodies. instead, it died upon it’s journey, failing to reach the only person who mattered to you at that minute. “ben, it’s okay: i know.”

that didn’t settle his nerves. the only things those two words did was set his heart racing faster and he felt like his world was collapsing in on himself.

“no,” he shook his head, finally pulling his eyes away from your glance, turning his back towards you as his hands made his hair even more of a mess. “no, it’s not okay.”

but it was. it was more than okay because somewhere between ben stumbling through your door and this moment right now, you had found the courage to tell him that you knew, that you felt the same, this it was okay.

taking advantage of his back facing you, you stepped over to him carefully. at first, you were unsure of your movements, letting your hands linger in the air just above ben’s back before you took the final step and pressed them against his t-shirt-covered skin. the muscles in his back tensed and tightened, but he quickly let the warmth and welcoming feeling of you relax him.

only then did you become more confident, letting your hands move lightly over his back, mapping every bump and dimple they found. you ventured down to ben’s hips, covering the skin of his sides before settling around his front on his stomach.

“it’s okay, ben.” you said once again, your voice falling into a quiet whisper next to the shell of his ear as your chin rested on his shoulder. both of hands met yours. they were warm and fit comfortably between yours, something you had always imagined.

“how do you know?” he tested the waters, only letting his voice be loud enough for you to hear, like this was your little secret. you weren’t sure if ben was asking how you knew how he felt or how things would be okay, but you chose the former.

“lucy told me,” you replied in an equal tone, moving your head from his shoulder to press against his back, just between his shoulder blades. “she told me about that night you went to her apartment after you had been out with the boys: she told me how you felt about me.”

“and?” he said soon after, not wanting to wait any longer for a response that could change his life.

“ben, you mean the world to me, and i was always afraid that if we began a relationship, it could ruin our friendship. but i’m not afraid of that anymore, and i just want what i want: you.”

ben had never felt so sober. he had begun the night alone and, somehow, ended it in your arms; one of the places he didn’t think he’d be for a while.

his thumb began tracing small circles on the back of your hand, letting himself know that this was real and this was happening. it also grounded you. it gave you something to focus on when you needed it. but you didn’t want it to be that; you wanted it to be something that happens regularly and often. now, that might happen.

reluctantly, you pulled your hands from his, taking your arms away from his body as you circled around him. once his face met yours, neither of you could hold in the tiny smile which threatened to appear at the corner of your lips. god, you could only imagine what his lips felt like, what they tasted like. and you imagined that they felt like silk.

your hands quickly found purchase on ben’s body once again. this time, you traced the outline of his face, allowing yourself to take your time as you moved along his jawline. as one hand did that, the other tangled it’s fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck - something that he was growing out for a role, but you enjoyed it regardless.

ben was so overwhelmed, the only place he could find to anchor himself to you were your hips. he squeezed and pressed the skin lightly, wanting to live in the moment as much as he could, just in case you slipped through his fingertips, like silk does.

you can’t help but notice that you’ve never seen him like this before, so vulnerable and open to you and your touch. of course, you had touched each other before, but not with the softness and meaning like now.

“i want you, too,” ben finally whispered, never letting his gaze falter from you. his hands seemed to grip your hips a little harder as your hands slid down from his head and onto his shoulders. “that’s all i’ve wanted since i met you.”

just then, you pushed yourself onto the balls of your feet, managing to slightly close the gap between you and ben as his head bowed lower, too. your lips met like a perfect melody, so soft and gentle and better than you could have ever imagined.

slowly, and once again, your hands traced their way up ben’s skin, circling around his neck before toying with those little hairs you had suddenly become so fond of. and, as a response, ben’s hands shifted from your hips to your lower back quicker than you could register, pushing and pulling your body flush with his own.

his hands were warm and big and better than you could have imagined. they were strong, keeping the two of you together in perfect harmony as you explored the other’s touch after so, so long.

but, then ben pulled away, keeping you pressed against his chest while looking down at you, your lips swollen and red and, god, so beautiful. he only smiled, pulling away to grab your hand a second later.

he was your personal guide through your home, taking you towards your bedroom (only after turning off the light he switched on earlier). as soon as you got in the room, ben let you go, turning to close the door as you stood waiting for him; you almost felt like a stranger, standing there in your own room with no feeling of anything but ben.

once the door clicked shut, he turned his attention back to you. while he walked forward, you stumbled backwards, only stopping when the back of your knees hit the side of your bed.

“get in,” he spoke gently, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “i’ll be there in a second.” and so you did. since you were already about to settle down for the night when ben knocked on the door, you just sat underneath the covers again.

seeing the cast of ben’s shadow on your walls from the beaming moon was a sight you knew you would never tire of. the way he moved gracefully as he pulled off his shirt and jeans, leaving on only his boxers and turning back to you.

he was a ghost striding towards you. a vision as his body drifted towards you, so bright and beautiful under the moon, so quiet as he slipped under the covers to lay next to you; his arms open and welcoming.

so you accepted, letting yourself have this, this moment, with ben. you found yourself tucked into his side, one arm dragged across his torso with your head on his chest. his left arm wrapped itself around your shoulders, his right arm laying adjacent to yours, letting your fingertips touch and ghost along one another.

you stayed there, for a minute or two, just getting used to each other’s rise and fall of your chests and the dips and bumps of each other’s skin. neither of you had felt more at peace than in that moment.

and as you lay there in ben’s arms, the steady beating in his heart right below your ear and finally feeling content, you knew that you were ready for love.

TAGLIST: @shes-over-bored @i-barely-go-on-online @sohoneyspreadyourwings @brian-maybe-not @deakysbabybooty @1001-yellow-daffodils @retromusicsalad @hardcoredisneynerd @painkiller80 @leatherjacketmazzello @scarecrowmax @mebeatlized @seesiderendezvous @alright-mrfahrenheit @someone-get-a-medic @miamideacon @chlobo6 @teenagepeterpan @spacedustmazzello @deakysgurl @forever-rogue @xcdelilahxc @keepsdrawings @igotsuckedintothevoid @kill4hqueen @supersonicfreddie @laedymoon @inthedayswhenlandswerefew @warriorteam1924 @painandpleasure86 @boomerangbassist @mamaskillerqueen @bhxrdy

#Courts4KWritingChallenge #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy imagine #bohemian rhapsody #ben jones #x reader #acdeaky

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imaginationkonoha · 5 years

Text

Neji Hyuuga - My favorite mouth.

~ Giphy isn't not mine~

I hope that all you enjoy!! Send your ideas!

All I cherished when I arrived from a mission was to take a good shower to remove all impurity and sleep like a rock. And I'd do that if it wasn't for Hinata pissing me off to a House Shower.

“I hate you for this you know?” I said laughing walking with her and Neji.

"Ah Y / N, you look like your mother" Neji said snapping with my face and I looked at him angrily. "Everyone is going" He continued smiling and for a moment I pictured him in the place. Okay. Maybe we should stop these thoughts.

"Ok! But I'm very sleepy!" I replied bitterly, entering the house accompanied by the two.

"It will be nice, come on, I'll take you to tea later" Neji replied and Hinata agreed. We went in and met with everyone, boys and girls parted for the sadness of my fertile imagination. Really, they were all here, Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Hinata and me. I sank into the water wanting to die there, on the other side we could hear the noise of the boys.

"You look like you died!" Said Ino looking at me. I agreed with her making a thumb down.

"I am, the enemy shielded me for a Tenten attack," I pointed at the girl who looked at me apologetically. "It's alright Tenten, accidents happen all the time."

"I know that," she replied. "Just that I overreacted in the attack and your body must be really sore, I don't know how you're standing."

"I think sometimes you forget who my mother is, I study some medical jutsu with her at home, we never know what might happen," I said shrugging, my mother was the master of Ino and Sakura, the fifth. Hokage. My fayher was Jiraya, you must finally think they got along but no, on a night of my mother's sadness for her beloved Dan, she and my father drank a lot and it resulted in my birth 9 months later. My father had died a few months ago, so I'm trying to get on with my life preparing for war.

I took a deep breath remembering what happened, Neji and Naruto helped me to the extreme, the first knew exactly how I felt to lose my father, had already gone through it. Already Naruto suffered along with me, how often I accompanied them to receive information or something greater, he was like a grandson to my father.

"It's because they float," I heard Hinata say and started laughing at Sakura's face.

"You're the biggest of us friend, maybe someday I'll pass you or maybe I'll pull daddy's family" I frowned making everyone laugh, before I could say anything we heard the noise of something breaking, we looked up seeing the ceiling give way. In a second I put on my shorts, covering myself with a towel since I couldn't find my shirt, looked at the floor and found Rock Lee, and at the door the boys looking at them very angry. Before I could do anything, Lee was running out of the house, I felt bad for him. Holding my breasts I reached for my shirt but didn't find it until Neji surrendered, I noticed his embarrassed look from under his scowl. He was too respectful to take the moment to take a look.

I scolded myself the minute I thought that, turned my back on, quickly putting on my shirt and running after Rock Lee. I saw Naruto get in front of him before anyone knocked and I did that too.

"Girls, pay attention! Lee would never do that!" I pointed to the boy who smiled at me, smiled back when I turned around and noticed that all the boys were looking straight at my breasts, which now due to wet body were hard, appearing lightly on the light colored blouse.

I took a deep breath and was not ashamed.

"Never seen breasts? If you want I show" I said called everyone's attention.

"It won't be necessary, I think we all learned," Naruto said, and turned to Lee, showing Sakura's bra clinging to his towel.

"Sakura is arrested" I spoke fast "He did not catch" I continued but it was too late, because the woman had already hit Naruto, before she punched another I held her hand, making her snort. Sakura walked away from the house, I rolled my eyes at the behavior and turned to the boys.

"Boys, the view is very nice but I think you want to keep a little of everything you're showing" I said bastard and they widened their eyes, touching the situation they were in the street. I joined in the laughter as the boys tried to get home as soon as possible, Hinata stared at me laughing at my scared face at Neji and Shikamaru's physique.

"I died and God took me to heaven" I said putting a hand on my forehead making a drama. "I'm impacted, I could kiss, literally," I said excitedly.

"Y / N!" - Tenten scolded laughing.

"What? You think, I say. I really could lose my mouth from kissing so much. I'm in love," I said entering the house, we returned to our ward to pick up the things we had forgotten.

"You say that but you know you have a favorite mouth," teased Tenten and I ignored it.

"True, it's no use lying" Hinata continued and I laughed

"My favorite mouth doesn't do that kind of thing, it's very focused," I commented faking crying, increasing the laughter.

"No, I also want to know who it is" complained Ino

“What do you mean you don't know?” Said Hinata, I looked at her showing tongue.

"You are great friends!" I mocked and they laughed.

"Okay, I'll tell you," Tenten announced. "She's falling for Neji's mouth, or all of him."

"Tenten!" - I fought with her "I hate you" I complained and the three laughed.

"How didn't I realize before? It's so obvious," said Ino, patting her forehead.

"Unfortunately he doesn't want me!" He said pouting. "And for the record, my crush on Neji doesn't even compare to Hinata's cliff on Naruto," I blurted out seeing my friend turning red. I hugged her laughing, she laughed punching me in the arm. After gathering our things, we left the ward and went to meet Neji. The moment I laid eyes on them, the image of just a towel covering his body came to my mind and I wanted to die right there. I had no doubt that I was my father's daughter.

“Tea?” He asked and I nodded.

"I'm leaving you, I'm really tired," Hinata said making me give her a macabre look that chuckled and walked in the opposite direction, not even giving Neji the opportunity to offer to take her.

"Got a problem with that?" He asked me

"No, no, it wouldn't be the first time we had tea without Hinata's anyway" I answered but inside I was yelling hard, I could see every muscle in Neji's body in my head and I was almost asking to leave. We arrived at the tea house quickly and he placed our orders, he was always the one to ask because my taste came down to two flavors.

"Today was quite a scare" commented Neji and I agreed

"Really, when I walked into the house, I could never imagine that all my teammates would come over my breasts," I said and snorted, making Neji laugh. I looked at his strange behavior, smiled at that. Our tea arrived before we could say anything, I started to drink mine calmly, looking at his eyes all the time. Okay. What bizarre game was this? Why is he like this? What happened that I didn't understand? Lee entered the teahouse and walked over to Neji, calling him to visit Naruto.

"That would be a good idea," I commented, remembering how Naruto was alone at times. I got tired of spending time with him. "He needed his friends," I said, agreeing with Lee, giving him another smile.

"I'll just end here and meet you in a few minutes," Neji replied, and Lee agreed to run out of the house, within minutes we finished our teas and left. As my house was toward Naruto's, I walked with Neji to some extent.

"Well, now you should go and have a good time," I said, poking the man who smiled at me. I loved when he smiled at me, it was as if the world stopped for a moment. I felt Neji approach and I felt my body paralyze, his face coming every second closer to mine, and finally his mouth touched mine, kissing me so hotly. Neji's kiss was slow but exploratory, he pulled back and smiled at the mess I was at the moment.

"Your mouth is my favorite too, I just never thought it would want something from me because of Naruto, maybe I saw something that didn't exist," he said and I widened my eyes. "I'm always in the mood, just like my body after all, I also have a cliff for you," he said and gave me another kiss before leaving and planting me in the middle of the street with a beautiful smile on my face and a heart running like crazy.

#naruto imagines #nejiimagine #neji hyūga #neji hyuuga

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just-another-human-mind · 6 years

Text

~Unexpected~

1.9k words, fluff mix? I'm not so sure anymore lol

Protector!Dan & Clumsy!Phil

Warning: this chapter’s a bit intense, but don’t worry it will be okay in the next!

Summary: an AU in which Dan and Phil are polar opposites. Phil is Dan’s lowkey stalker and would do anything to learn more about the lonely boy who lives next door. During summer he decided to finally try getting closer, but when his plans actually worked he didn’t expect to fall for him more than he already had. With Dan being the cold person he was on the outside, seeing his gentle side only makes Phil’s life harder than it was because he can’t seem to get Dan to notice him!

[ previous chapter ]

Chap. 2

It’s been two days now and Adam hasn’t said or done anything to Phil besides the subtle glances he’d make. Though it’s great to not get attacked for what he did to him, Phil can’t help but walk with his ears perked up and be extra cautious every now and then because of Adam's friend, Greg. He and the group keep giving Phil dirty looks and would even shove him into a locker as they pass by in the halls. He figured it was better than anything else he can imagine so he decided to just live with what he’s used to. Wednesday shouldn't have been any different. During the class however, Phil bumped his entire body into Adam and the chair as he got up to throw something away and immediately fell into a full on anxiety attack, but Adam said sorry as Greg muttered something under his breath. Phil couldn't speak so he continued on without saying anything as his mind kept repeatedly saying sorry and omg over and over. Finally, the bell rang once again and Phil had no trouble leaving the class onto his way home. His emotions were on pause and didn't know what to feel. Adam saying sorry kept repeating in his head, it didn’t seem natural. Why did he say sorry? Phil continued to playout the incident in his head. He walked all the way passed his home and up the street to a park without noticing until he almost rolled backwards as he stepped on a twig on the sidewalk. “AH!”, Phil yelped as he barely caught himself about to fall. “Omg! What are you doing here! I would’ve fell!”, Phil being Phil, he scolded the twig, but slowly realized where he was. To his right was the park he used to visit when he was younger and to his left… was Dan. He was sat across the street on a bench with a cup of coffee in his hands giving Phil a concerned look. Phil raised his hands ready to defend himself, but had no idea what to say so he just started muttering out nonsense because he saw Dan getting ready to leave while giving him that look. ‘Idiot!’, Phil said to himself and facepalmed in shame. “Uh, I can’t believe he just saw that...uhhhh whyyyy!”, Phil said to himself, picking up the twig by his feet and started to walk back home making sure he doesn’t see Dan on the way back. “As if he didn’t think I was weird enough…”, Phil continuing the one way conversation, but didn't expect to hear someone reply. “Huh?”, he questioned while turning around to see who the person was.

It was Greg, he was leaning his arm against the wall with his arms crossed, “who?”, Greg questioned again. “Ah…”, Phil froze and tightened his grip on the piece of wood in his hand. “What’s wrong? Have you shit yourself?”, Greg spat. “No...what are you doing here?”, Phil backed away slightly. “Well, I can ask you the same thing Lester, you're on my street.”, The boy said, stepping in closer. “I was-”, Phil got cut off. “Doesn’t matter, this is actually pretty convenient. You see, i 've been meaning to talk with you for a bit, you mind?”, he wore a smug look on his face that made Phil want to run, but he didn't want to show he was scared so he stayed, “Uh sure, I just have to get back soon so-”, Phil was cut off again. “Yea don't worry, this won’t take too long! Come here I have something to show you”, Greg brought out his phone and showed him a picture of Phil changing in the locker room. “Why do you have this?”, Phil was confused and didn’t know where this was going. Greg had just showed him a picture of himself without a shirt and changing out of his black skinny jeans, clearly struggling to keep his underwear on because the jeans kept pulling them down. “Adam took this picture of you.”, Greg stated. “He showed us this picture the other day trying to convince us that you have a nice body to look at. Then we all saw you fall miserably and then the idea to have you strip next week sprung in his head while you two were talking”, Greg got cut off. “Um-”, Phil tried. “Shut up I'm not done, I know Adam won’t leave you alone about this and I know how much you don't want to do this, trust me nobody wants this. So how’s about, we make you ugly!”, Greg sounding completely psychotic clapped his hands once and wore a big smile on his face. “What are yo-what?, Phil had no idea what he was suggesting. “Adam thinks you have good features. Let's take that away for a bit, don’t you think? Maybe then he’d stop being so soft on you and realize how blindsided he's been lately”, Greg continued to smile as if he was acting completely normal. “What's your problem? Why do you have so much hate for me. It’s not like i've ever done anything to you!”, Phil had enough. “Ah, this is what i'm talking about! He softened up on you and now you have a bit of confidence in you to talk back!”, Greg said sounding frustrated. “I'm sorry am I not suppo-”, Phil got cut off by his face slamming against the wall, scraping the side of his right cheek and part of his eyebrow. “Shut up”, Greg growled. “I’ve had enough of this. You piss me off on a whole new level just shut the fuck up”, Greg said grabbing Phil by the hair and slamming his face against the wall continuously. Phil was sobbing underneath him and begging Greg for him to stop. His blood was all over the wall and had a tight grip on his hair, unable to run way, let alone move. Eventually, Greg stopped and let Phil drop down to the ground in agony. “Next time you piss me off your body will be next”, With that Greg left Phil alone. He was hunched over leaning against the wall, face covered in blood, dripping. Saliva, tears ,and blood all mixed together, being the only thing he can sense. Everything else was dull. He can only hear ringing in his ears and his body felt heavy. He tried to call out for help but was unaware that he was only muttering out a muffled help and other sounds to himself as he passed out. Dan has been at home for hours hours now sitting in his room waiting to see some kind of light switch on or see Phil walk in the house at some point. He started to get worried when he heard there had been some bad people walking around late at night when he noticed that Phil never came home. Usually, he wouldn't really care, but he felt weird because he saw him by the park and felt a strange feeling of ‘omg I was the last person to see him’ mixed with ‘he has no friends so where did that idiot go’. His worry only grew as the worst case scenarios kept creeping up in his mind, “He’s clumsy. Did he get hit by a car? Bus? Stabbed to death?”, Dan kept asking himself out loud while walking around in his room until he finally decided to go out searching for him. It was so unlike him, but the worry was eating at him, he wouldn't have been able to sleep if he didn't try, so, he grabbed pepper spray, his phone, and keys and left, telling his parents he’s going to grab a snack ensuring them he’d be fine.

Walking around at 9pm in the evening in search of Phil wasn’t what Dan thought he’d be doing, but here he was. He started walking up the street to the park, a sketchy place around this time, but he had to. When he got there he was unsure if he should go in and take a look because didn’t want to encounter any weird people except the weirdo he does want to meet. So, he decided to quickly go in then come back out, hopefully. It took him about 20 minutes to scan the area and feel sure that Phil wasn’t there. “Where is he?...”, Dan said to himself, worry flooding his thoughts as he stood in the middle of the field of grass. Taking a deep breath he started to walk back home, unsure of where else to look, ‘maybe he does have friends?’, Dan thought, trying to convince himself. Walking back he saw a group of people drinking, some yelling at eachother, some laughing. So, to avoid anything he didn’t want he took another street. There weren’t many lights on this street, but it was better than having to deal with those people. He had been walking for a while when he saw someone he assumed was sleeping on the sidewalk, ‘homeless’, Dan thought, but when he got closer he could see a bag, a backpack that looked just like Phil’s. His heart stopped for a second, then speed walked to get closer only to have his heart drop out of his soul. Blood. Blood was everywhere. On the walls, the floor, on Phils clothes, and his face. Dan fell to his knees he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Suddenly, the thoughts of Phil being attacked and being hurt came true. “Phil!”, Dan called his voice slightly breaking, starting to breath heavy. “Phil what happened to you”, Dan started to choke on his tears repeatedly saying, “Phil please wake up”, while gently shaking the boy. The only thing he wanted to do at that moment was to call the ambulance, but the horse groan coming from below him stopped him in his tracks. “Phil? Phil! Get up!”, Dan shook him harder. “Uhlmp”, Phil muttered as he started to wake. “What?”, Dan questioned. “Mhmnhlp”, Phil said, trying to open his eyes. “Phil, don’t move i'm going to call for help”, Dan tried to straighten himself out a bit and prepared for what he was supposed to tell the paramedics when they got here, but stopped once again when Phil's arm weakly bumped Dans thigh. “Hephm...hep-”, Phil was interrupted by Dan, “Shh it’s okay you’re going to be fine”. “Mhnhmm… nuh dunt”, Phil mumbled out as he started to finally wake up. “Nu dunt?’, Dan questioned allowing himself to smirk just a tiny bit. “Don’t call”, Phil finally spoke out, “I don’t want them to worry”. He tried to sit up, but failed as he felt to weak. “Here let me-”, Dan put his hands around Phils waist and pulled him into a sitting position leaning his body against the wall. “Dan?”, Phil questioned as he squinted looking at Dan in the face. “Oh your glasses… their! Found them.’, Dan brought the glasses to Phil's face and helped him put in on. “My head hurts…really bad…”, Phil said, feeling around the dry blood on his face. “Yeah I can see why...I’m calling the ambulance try not to move so much.”, Dan started dialing the number, but had his phone pushed out of his had because Phil grabbed onto his wrist out of nowhere. “ I’m fine. Don’t call anybody I don’t want my family to have their vacation ruined because of me”, Phil said sternly, but his grip immediately loosening. Dan caught him before he had the chance to fall. “Take me home please”, Phil muttered and slowly slipped back into unconsciousness.

**notes**

Ahhh I know it’s so much for something that was supposed to be a fluff, but I swear the fluff will happen soon! idk what to call this can you help me please ❤

#phan #daniel howell #phil lester #phan au #phanfiction #dan #phil #jahm #my phanfic #my work #thank you for even reading this #i love you

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jestbee · 7 years

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Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Eleven)

Title: Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Eleven) Tags: Alternate Timeline, AU, Slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers Words: 4480 Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

Author’s Note: After a short break, this is back! Thanks for sticking with me, I’ve really missed this :D

[AO3 Link]

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six] [Chapter Seven] [Chapter Eight] [Chapter Nine] [Chapter Ten]

The videos come out over the next four weeks. Dan visits often. When one is uploaded they’ve developed a sort of ritual of waiting for each other to watch them and Dan will text Phil sometime in the evening, or he won’t, either way he’ll show up. Phil ends up giving him the code for the downstairs door because it’s easier to just let him in when he knocks than it is to buzz him up since he knows he’s coming anyway.

There are a few times, after the video has finished and they are plunged into the quiet darkness of Phil’s flat, that they move on to other videos, or a DVD, or video games. Prolonging the moment when Dan has to leave as though neither wants it to come. Dan sleeps on his couch a few times, and he’s always there in the morning.

It’s cosy and warm and Phil is getting to used to it, which is dangerous, especially when he knows it has a shelf life. Their video will be uploaded soon, and then there’s the wrap party for the whole group, and then they will have run out of excuses and Phil will have to deal with these feelings he has once and for all. To get over them, or to burn away with them, he hasn’t really decided.

PJ, at least, is the same as he always is. He drops round too, complaining he hasn’t seen Phil in ages and carting with him some weird card game that Phil can’t really get his head around but is trying his best at.

He’s just lost another hand, sat cross-legged on his living room carpet opposite PJ at the coffee table when there is that ever-familiar knock at his door. Phil gets up immediately.

“Expecting company?” PJ asks, his face surprised at how unsurprised Phil’s is.

“It’ll be Dan,” Phil explains with a shrug

“Dan?” PJ repeats. “Dan Howell?”

“Yeah.” Phil forgets that this is strange and unusual behaviour for Phil Lester.

“Since when does Dan Howell drop by your flat?”

“Um… since… you know, we worked together on the project. It’s just for that community thing, we watch the videos together when they’re uploaded. He’s probably here to watch tonight’s I forgot to tell him you were over. Should I have asked him to cancel?”

“No,” PJ smiles, his eyes twinkling with something that might be pride, but Phil has no idea what he has to be proud of, “the more the merrier.”

With a short nod, more to himself than to PJ, Phil goes to answer the door.

Dan doesn’t wait for an invitation inside, simply barrels in, chatting non-stop as he drops off a carrier bag in the kitchen.

“I think you’re rubbing off on me,” he says, disappearing around the doorframe and out of Phil’s view.

Phil has no choice but to follow, just to keep up with whatever the heck it is Dan is going on about.

“Some guy on the tube on the way over here was quacking. Actually quacking, like a duck. I thought it was just you that attracted strange people but honestly…”

He keeps it up, the constant drivel of commentary, drifting from the kitchen once he’s deposited his bag, and heading to the living room.

“Is it catching do you think? The attracting strange people thing– oh. Hi. You’re PJ.”

Dan is in the doorway and turns his head back over his shoulder to look at Phil.

“Wow. I'm… such a dick. I totally didn’t know you had company. Because I just presumed didn’t I? Wow. Sorry. I'll… leave you to it.” He takes a few steps backwards but Phil moves up behind him and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be silly,” he insists, “We were just playing this weird game, you should join us.”

“That okay with you?” Dan asks PJ.

“Sure mate, the more the merrier,” PJ repeats, looking around Dan at Phil with an amused expression.

Dan gives Phil a last look of apology and then crosses the room to sit down opposite PJ on the carpet.

“What are we playing?”

Phil smiles at the two, they make a good picture, like a dream sequence of what his life might be like if he socialised more. Friends gathered and comfortable in his flat. But it’s like he’s watching it from the outside, too stuck in his own head to really immerse himself in it.

PJ begins to explain the rules of the game and while Dan’s brow furrows slightly, he nods as if he understands. Phil hesitates only briefly before taking a seat next to Dan, crossing his legs so that their knees brush, even though there is really no need for them to. PJ crooks and eyebrow over Dan’s head as looks down at the cards, Phil pretends he doesn’t see.

They play a few hands and Phil still doesn’t really understand the game, but he has an excuse for not really paying attention this time. PJ and Dan get along famously, laughing and fondly chiding each other in a free and easy way Phil envies with every fibre of his being. They haven’t socialised much before tonight, Phil knows, but he thinks they’ll leave as friends. It warms something in him to think of the two closest people to him getting along. Which says something about him if he includes Dan stand-in-friend-for-the-sake-of-the-internet Howell as one of the people closest to him.

“I brought beer,” Dan says suddenly, as if just remembering, which is a new development, because he doesn’t usually.

Were they meant to drink it alone? Did Dan bring beer for him and Phil to drink while watching the latest youtube community video? It wouldn’t be entirely strange, he supposes, but still, it’s a novelty and for some reason it sends Phil’s mind wandering to imaginative places. So much so that he doesn’t catch himself as he watches Dan leave the room, a small sigh escaping him as he disappears.

“Phil,” PJ says, knocking him from his trance.

“Um, yeah? Sorry, what?”

“Phil…” PJ looks kind of mad, the space between his brows shrunk into a dipped line, harsh and judgemental, “I said you should make friends with him not fall for the guy.”

“Wha-what?” Phil stammers, “What the hell are you… talking about?”

It’s a token protest at best, because PJ doesn’t look like he’s believing it and Phil isn’t putting much emotion behind it.

“Oh god,” he says instead, dropping his forehead into his hand. Their voices are low, dipped so that Dan can’t hear them.

“On the one hand,” PJ is saying, “I mean… it’s great that you're… you know, getting out there. But… Phil, come on, is it wise? After everything that–”

“No, no, no” Phil says, his hands waving wildly in front of PJ’s face as if trying to push the words back into his mouth, “No no no. We’re not… He doesn't…. No.”

“Okay,” PJ says finally, patting ineffectually at Phil’s hands to get them to stop, “Like I said, I’m glad you’re getting out there. You know, not that long ago you wouldn’t have been able to… you found it difficult. But… I mean Phil, another YouTuber? Really?”

“I know,” Phil says, shaking his head and dipping his eyes, not even wanting to see how pathetic he is reflected in PJ’s expression. “I’m dealing with it. It’s all over soon anyway and then it won’t matter. Like you said, maybe it’s just the start of me like getting out there a little bit… yeah. After this… I can… you know… move on to something… better.”

PJ only gets as far as nodding in reply before Dan is back in the room carrying three glass bottles of beer. It isn’t the horrible kind that Phil usually hates, the ones he gets stuck holding at parties, it’s the light Mexican kind, laced with tequila or similar. He’s jammed a wedge of lime into the rim of the bottle and Phil knows the sour will mix with the taste of the beer and tequila and end up tasting quite nice.

They play a few more hands of the game while they sip, and Dan fills the awkward silence with his large, brash personality and Phil is thankful for it because he has no idea what he would say to either of them right now. His head is full of PJ’s disapproval, because of course this is all a stupid idea, given his history, and he’d honestly turn it off if he could but one look at Dan, sweeping the fringe from his eyes with the back of his index finger while staring down at his cards and Phil knows it’s hopeless. Just the sweet curve of his mouth twisted into a slight frown at a bad hand is enough to flip Phil’s stomach over.

PJ leaves soon after, needing to get home to Sophie, and Phil walks him to the door.

“He’s a cool guy,” PJ is saying, “Just… be careful.”

“You know I always am,” Phil sighs, “Too careful. Isn’t that my problem? You’re always saying that is my problem.”

PJ nods, “I know. Maybe some of that caution has rubbed off on me. Mostly I just don’t really understand because … well, Dan is very out-there isn’t it? Social media wise. I thought that’d be the last thing you wanted.”

“It is,” Phil insists, “I don’t actually… look, I’m not going to do anything. It’s an infatuation, he’s cute or whatever and I’m dipping my toe in.”

“If you say so Phil, looks a little more than a physical crush to me though mate, you’re fairly gone on him.” “I can’t be,” Phil shrugs, “can I? Another Youtuber? Please… there are so so many reasons why that is the most insane thing I could possibly do. And anyway, Dan would never… it’s not like that.”

“I’m not arguing with you on any but that last point,” PJ says, “He’d be a fool not to. Just…”

“Be careful,” Phil repeats, “I know.”

PJ nods, hugs him very very briefly, staying out of Phil’s space in a way he appreciates when he’s feeling this prickly, like his skin might erupt into flame, and then he leaves.

He returns to the living room and to Dan who immediately begins expounding on how much fun the game had been and how good it was to get to know PJ a little more and–

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine.”

“…okay.” Dan says, his eyes narrowing briefly, “If you say so. You want to watch the community video now?”

“Yes.”

They watch the video, and then a few more. Dan slides closer to him on the couch, their legs pressed together from hip to knee even though there is more than enough room for them to sit with space between them.

Eventually they end up with animal videos and autoplay taking over their choosing of them and Dan is wavering between awake and asleep and Phil silently pulls the blanket from the back of the couch like he always does.

“I should go,” Dan whispers into the darkness that has fallen over Phil’s living room.

“If you want to,” Phil replies, moving to put the blanket back again.

“I said I should” Dan clarifies, “not that I wanted to. I’m not good at making wise decisions when I want something. I’m trying to get better at that.”

Phil doesn’t try to make sense out of Dan’s tired babbling, instead just passes the blanket to him and Dan does nothing but hug it to his chest. He can make out Dan’s profile in the light of the laptop, the curve of his nose, the dip of his dimple thrown into stark relief in the harsh glow.

“Me too.” Phil says finally. Knowing that Dan is not a wise decision, but he keeps making it, over and over.

“You’re always careful,” Dan insists, sleepily.

“Maybe I’m trying not to be,” Phil breathes, the words only barely there on his exhale. “Or I’m not as good at is as I used to be.”

There is a beat of silence, thick, heavy and loaded with suggestion. Dan turns his head to look Pil square in the face, his eyes soft, and Phil thinks if there was ever a moment that something could happen it would be now. Something rises in his chest, dangerous and reckless, like the pull to the edge of a building, making him want to tip forward just to try something for once, to put himself out there. But it passes, and he tries not to feel too disappointed when Dan lays backwards, stretches out on his couch, kicking out at him lightly.

“Go on then, get out. Let me sleep.”

Phil laughs, letting the lightness of it ease the dull throb of pain in his heart and stands. He closes the laptop lid, tucking it under his arm and leaves Dan to sleep. PJ is right, he needs to be more careful, this is starting to get out of hand.

–

He’s more restrained after that. Heeding PJ’s advice and his own nagging conscience telling him how stupid he’s being and he begins to school himself back into the realms of AmazingPhil. Perhaps, he argues with himself, if he can just be the person he’s supposed to be, the one that Dan likes from the internet, the one that can give him all the things he wants, the follow count and the recognition, Dan might stay.

He’s aware how crazy that sounds, how close it is to falling into a repeat of behaviours that have gotten him in trouble before, and how he’s prolonging the thud thud thud of painful longing in his chest by wishing Dan will stay close by, but that pain is the only reminder he has that he’s still capable of feelings at all. He’s scared that without it he’ll go back to how he was before, friendless and isolated, and now he’s had a taste of what it could be, easy and carefree, he wants more of it.

It’s easy to slip into the persona and if Dan notices, it is only in the small glance of a frown every now and again when Phil makes a particularly off-kilter comment more suited to his channel than how they’ve been recently. He doesn’t offer comment though, simply gazes at him or else flicks his eyes to the side to avoid it. Phil watches it happen but doesn’t do anything to correct himself because at least Dan is staying, for now.

Phil is tweeting, too. Giving little glimpses into their times hanging out and Dan replies regularly. The fans are going crazy over the ‘domestic’ nature of them and speculation is rife. It’s pretty accepted in their corner of the internet that the 'surprise’ video at the end of the month is going to be theirs, so by the time the day arrives the hype online is intense.

“This is going to change things for us,” Dan is saying excitedly.

He’s in Phil’s flat again, on the side of the couch that is slowly becoming his and Phil has even bothered to buy snacks his time, something Dan had teased him about because as far as hosting goes Phil hasn’t been great up to this point.

They’re not on the laptop this time, instead Phil has hooked up YouTube on his TV for the occasion, wanting to bring a little bit of something special to the proceedings seeing how he’s convinced this is the last time Dan is going to be in his flat, the project is over, they don’t need to hang out anymore.

“You think one collab is going to have that much of an effect?” he asks, fishing a Dorito from the bowl on the table and crunching on it happily.

“I think the amazing video you made is going to showcase your talent and increase your subscriber count, yeah.”

He says it so casually, as if bestowing the praise is easy for him, effusing from his being like water, drenching over Phil, cooling him.

“The video we made,” Phil corrects, shaking his head, trying not to allow the compliment to take root there, “the concept was your idea, really.”

“But I couldn’t have done it without your amazing filming and editing skills, Phil. You’re truly talented, you could direct big movies one day.”

Phil feels his face colour and he shoves at Dan’s arm to distract himself, “Shut up.”

“I’m serious,” Dan insists, laughing so that his whole face lights up and Phil wants to take it in his hands and swallow it down.

“But your story telling was what made it great, you have a real knack for the way you put words together… maybe you should write the movie script. Or star in it. You’re great at acting. I’d let you have creative input on the cinematography too.”

“Cheers,” Dan says, eyes dancing through the sarcasm. “I’ll just do all the work and you tell them where to point the camera? Seems like a fair split!”

Phil imagines then what it might be like to work with Dan on something bigger, a larger project that combines their talents into something their audiences could enjoy. He thinks about how that would mean getting more of Dan’s attention, more of his time, more of those smiles aimed directly at him, so wonderful and bright he could go blind from it.

He tries to remind himself not to get too attached to them, because this is ending tonight. This is the last time.

They refresh the page once more and the video is there, their phones chiming in perfect sync as they each receive a notification.

“Here we go,” Dan says.

Phil just nods and clicks play.

Watching the video in this space is strange. They’ve seen it before, countless times, played back on Phil’s computer while they edit, but this is different. They aren’t perched on separate chairs for one, but are as close together on his couch as they always are. And they can’t make changes, if they see anything they don’t like this time, it’s out there for the world to see.

“I’m glad we didn’t change anything,” Dan says in a hushed tone, doing that thing where he reads Phil’s mind a little bit. “I’m glad you talked me down from my crazy neuroses about it.”

Phil huffs a laugh, because the thought that he can help anyone with their issues is astounding, because he can’t sort his own out so he’s no idea how to do it for anyone else.

“The video is great,” Phil assures him again, doing the impossible and reaching out to pat at Dan, meaning to go for his arm but finding his hand drop on his knee. Dan doesn’t visibly react so he probably gets away with it.

The story on screen is once again tugging at him. He watches as Dan’s character is lit solely by the glow of a laptop screen, head surrounded by a duvet. It’s the perfect depiction of a lonely teen watching YouTube for solace. It will resonate with the viewers in a great way, but Phil too understands that longing to be apart of something.

His own character going about the business of making videos, scrolling through twitter and then, yes, noticing the lonely teen finally. Then a montage, a series of Tweets, Skype Calls, Text Messages before finally… a bustling train platform, Phil stationery by the stairs and Dan making his way across, slow at first and then at a run, almost colliding with him.

“You’re real,” Dan had said, which hadn’t been in the script but had been a better line than the one that they’d planned. Phil grins, wide and happy and they turn, heading off for whatever adventures await them.

There’s a final shot, a video Dan’s character has made finally being uploaded, Phil looking on supportively, so the cycle can start again. This doubles out to screen after screen, thumbnail after thumbnail, depicting the growth of the community if everyone encourages each other, reaches out, works together. It doubles and doubles until the screen is impossibly covered in screencaps, Dan’s lost amongst the crowd, the colours of them forming the YouTube logo which sits for a second before the screen fades to black.

“God,” Dan says when it ends, Phil reaching to stop the next video from playing.

“Yeah.”

“I sort of wish…” Dan starts before trailing off.

Phil pokes at him, a pointed finger sinking into the flesh of his upper arm. “What? You seeing editing mistakes?”

“No,” Dan clarifies, turning his full body, hitching one leg up onto the couch so that he is leaned in towards Phil. “I just sort of wish that something like that had actually happened sometimes. Like, I was that guy, watching YouTube by myself in my room. It would have been nice to meet someone back then, a good friend.”

Phil nods, because at the time Dan is talking about he could probably have done with a good friend too. Something a little more honest, innocent, something not tearing him up from the inside.

“I do too,” he agrees, “I wish things were different. But hey, you got into YouTube anyway!”

“I did,” Dan nods, “I procrastinated the hell out of it, and I probably could have done with something as encouraging as that but… I got there eventually.”

“I’m glad,” Phil says, honestly. “Twitter time?”

Dan nods and pulls out his phone.

They spend some time replying to fans on Twitter who have seen the video, answering questions about it and saying that no, short films isn’t something they’ve done before but yes they’d enjoyed it. Someone asks if they’d ever work together again and Dan is diplomatic in his answer that he loves collaborating and is always open to people with great ideas. It doesn’t really answer whether he’d work with Phil again specifically, but Phil doesn’t press the issue because Dan is a master at saying only exactly what he wants to on social media, and nothing more.

They give up after about forty five minutes because they can’t possible answer everyone, as much as phil would like to, and it’s beginning to descend into the 'phan’ side of things and Phil knows those interactions are best left well alone. They don’t even need to discuss it.

When they’re done Phil reaches for the remote to put something else on, it’s the same gesture he’s done a bunch of times so he’s mildly surprised when Dan begins to stand.

“I should go,” Dan says.

“Should?” Phil asks, bravely, “Or are?

Dan’s face relaxes into a kind of smile, it is one for all intents and purposes but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes in the way that Phil is used to. Instead, they look flat and sad.

"I am.”

“O-Okay.” Phil says, standing as well, “I'll… show you out.” Which is stupid because Dan knows where the door is, he knows all the corners of Phil’s tiny flat by now, he’s spent time here enough.

The walk to the door is like a funeral march, a slow plod to the end of all of this, there are no statements of 'see you tomorrow’ and no promises of anything else nestled between them. It’s done, and as much as Phil might have longed for this moment a month or so ago he finds that it’s sitting heavy on him, like a stone.

“This is it,” Dan says, redundant because Phil knows what his own front door looks like.

“This is it.” Phil repeats.

Dan shrugs into the jacket over his arm, running a hand distractedly through his hair, shuffling and fidgeting, doing everything not to meet Phil’s gaze until finally, he takes a breath, looks like he’s decided, and looks up.

“Thanks for… everything,” he says, “I had a really good time on this project.”

“Yeah…” Phil hates the sound of his voice, it’s wispy and pathetic, all tangled around those pesky feelings churning in his chest so that it can’t come out the way he intends, “me too.”

There is still no suggestion of anything more, and Phil wants to say 'let’s do it again’ or even something as flimsy and intangible as 'see you soon’, he wants to say these because he can’t say 'stay’ or 'don’t go’.

Instead he says nothing more, because on top of the thin way his voice is stretched, he can’t trust what words would come out were he to attempt anything at all.

Dan slips into the silence, leans forward, arms extended. They wrap around Phil’s shoulders unexpectedly and pull him close. He doesn’t keep himself bent away this time, presses against Phil’s body tightly, toes nudging at the tips of Phil’s own and Phil can hear the rush of breath escaping him in his ear.

He doesn’t know what to do, simply goes with his instinct, with his want, and curls his arms around Dan’s waist, holding him tighter, trying to communicate something, anything at all, just with the touch.

“Take care,” Dan says as they part, and this is worse than goodbye. Goodbye could mean 'later’ it could have anything bundled into it. 'Take care’ is final, and it stabs into Phil’s chest, the warmth of Dan’s body long gone, and takes root.

“You too.”

Phil feels himself drift as Dan takes hold of the door handle, sparing him another little glance as he slips into the hallway and then a small, casual wave, as if nothing is wrong even though it feels like Phil’s world is crumbling away.

He watches as Dan rounds the corner at the end of the hall, memorising the soft curve of his shoulders, the broad expanse of his back. He lets the image sit for a while, closing the door to his flat and wandering back to his living room to gaze at the space Dan has left on his couch, wondering how long it will take before he stops thinking of it as belonging to him, before he stops expecting him to show up of an evening.

It’s done, he tells himself, it was great while it lasted but it’s time to start the business of getting over it. Like PJ said, it was just a way for him to get out there a little bit, he’s proved he can do it, it’s time to move on to something a little wiser, something that doesn’t scare him beyond belief… something that doesn’t make his heart beat wildly and his palms sweaty and his head float. Something that doesn’t make him as happy as Dan might have. It’s time to just let it go.

#myfics #fanfic #phanfic au #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfiction #phan #dnp #dan and phil #au #phanfic fluff #ao3 update #fic update

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