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#i'm honestly very disappointed with myself on how little i read these days
dxsole · 7 months
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WRITER BASICS. meet the author.
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ALIAS / NAME. Dex
BIRTHDAY. May 6th
ZODIAC. Taurus
HEIGHT. 5'6"
HOBBIES. painting, yoga, writing with y'all, listening to music, and rock collecting
FAV. COLOUR. pink! all shades; dusty rose and bubblegum and neon pink and cerise and watermelon—
FAV. BOOK. I don't really read as often as I used to! as a kid i would eat libraries whole but now not so much :S I don't think I really have a favorite one anymore but shout out to The Door in the Lake by Nancy Butts for 100% sticking in my brain after reading it when I was like, 12, and being the inspiration for my oc Kidd's story.
LAST SONG. The Less I know The Better - Tame Impala
LAST MOVIE / SHOW. The Shining / Professor T
RECENT READ: The most recent book I've actually read is a book on rocks!!! I learned a shit ton!
INSPIRATION. cliches. I love em. nothing is original and everything is repeated so I'll be doing my own rendition and having a ball. i have your stereotypical rom-com, clumsy girl next door in my back pocket. I've got your dr. jekyll and mr. hyde modern day au. I've got the evil ai. I've got the flamboyant serial killer with a gimmick. I've got the weird art student. I've got the clueless alien. I've got the 'i know a guy' guy. I've got em all. because i always love those people in movies and shows the most!!
STORY BEHIND URL. désolé means sorry in French (and is also a Gorillaz song I really like) and if there's one thing you won't hear coming out of the OG oc's (Didi) mouth, it's that. At least not sincerely. it's also the one apology you'll get from me for my mess of a blog.
TAGGED BY: @devilmass // thankies~! :3 TAGGING: @ofgentleresolve, @bruisedconscience, @losinmortalesperdidos, @id1eyouth, @violeteyedkiller, and anyone else who wants to do this~!
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violetrainbow412-blog · 10 months
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White lies [S. R]
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
word count: 4.6k
summary: you meet Spencer thanks to a nice coincidence and you become recurring chess partners, but he leaves out a small detail
taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14
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Spencer had come back to that park after a long time and, honestly, it was as quiet as he remembered it. He liked to sit there to read, watch the birds, listen to the trees hitting each other; just enjoy a moment of life. Matthew, a teenager he used to play chess with, sometimes kept him company, but he knew from his mother that he had sprained his ankle and could barely get out of his room, so those evenings it was just him and a couple of old men in a remote section of his favorite hangout.
The book he had in hand could have finished in less than ten minutes if he had wanted to, but it was one he had a particular interest in and so he was taking notes in a notebook by his side, lengthening his reading time. And besides, he had proposed to take things a little more calmly since the recovery of his leg, now that he could walk by himself, and that seemed to him a quite useful exercise.
The man was dimly aware that someone was sitting at the table next to his, but curiosity was not enough to force him to look away from the pages. It wasn't until after a while that he heard the characteristic sound of the chess pieces moving in the box that formed the board that he paid attention and noticed that the one who was settling there was a woman.
He tried not to look at you too much so as not to make you uncomfortable, but the quick scan he gave you only led him to the conclusion that you might be a college student and that you were very pretty. You were carefully arranging the pieces and once you finished, you looked around the whole park as if you were looking for something or someone, and then you took a pack of chocolates from your backpack and put it to the side of the board, somewhat disappointed that you hadn't found who you expected.
"Are you waiting for Matthew?" Spencer dared to ask. You were startled and had to ask him to repeat the question, a little afraid that a stranger had made such a pointed remark "I've seen him a couple of times eating those sweets and since he likes chess, I thought you were expecting him"
"Oh, you know him" you exclaimed, a little calmer. You were surprised by how observant the man had been, for a couple of random pieces of information had led him to the correct conclusion "I was his babysitter for a while and I ran into his mother the other day and she said he comes here in the evenings so I thought I'd come to see him”
“Too bad, he has a sprained ankle,” he informed you, with a sad grin. “Maybe he'll be back in a week or two. I'm Spencer, by the way."
"Y/N" you introduced yourself, shaking the hand the man was offering you "So you guys are friends?"
"Sometimes I play with him"
"Huh yeah?"
"Yeah. He is very good"
“I taught him,” you said, quite proud of yourself, “I hated when he asked to watch TV, and I brought all kinds of board games over to his house, until finally chess captivated him. In those years he participated in school contests so I was excited to play with him "
“Did you win some?”
“I was undefeated” you exclaimed, even more proud of yourself and smiling wistfully “But after a few years I gave it up. Matthew continued, so I thought it would be nice to dust myself off a bit,” you smiled.
You took a moment to look at the man, who might be only a few years older than you, and like him you were somewhat captivated. His long, wavy, golden hair gleamed in the sun and he seemed to wear clothes that were, if not expensive, then at least quite elegant. You looked at the stack of books and the notes scattered on the table with great interest, because frankly the only men who met all those characteristics used to be your grandfather's age and, although their talks were interesting, you couldn't get to think of them with anything more than tenderness. This person was different, almost like a sage out of a book.
You didn't know where you found the words to invite him to play with you and you didn't know why he agreed. He seemed busy when you arrived, which made you think that he might even be a teacher, but he stopped his activities to pay attention to you and that made you feel special.
"You like them? You can take some if you want. They were for Matty, but I'll buy him some more,” you said kindly, referring to the candies between you, to which Spencer nodded with a smile. You used to play with strangers all the time in that park, so you didn't think it was weird, but never one as handsome as the guy in front of you. You probably wouldn't even have dared to talk to him if he hadn't talked to you “White or black?”
“Black,” Spencer replied. You thought that maybe he was just being chivalrous to you by letting you move first, but you were also overconfident in your abilities and thought that he might feel bad if you turned out to be better.
"I'm not very good, I have to admit" you blatantly lied.
"Relax, I'm not either" he also lied. But neither of you could notice it.
The way Spencer saw the situation, he had two options: the first, demonstrate his extraordinary intelligence by beating you with a couple of moves, or the second, which was to turn off his brain for a while to give yourself a chance and lengthen the game a bit. He knew that, if he took the first option, you would most likely just smile and flatter him like everyone else did, or you might even ask him how he had done that. But Spencer was sick of being treated like a genius, despite being one, and having that label branded in his mind every place he went. He loved to learn, teach and know as much as he could on all subjects and he wasn't one bit ashamed of the abilities his mother gave him at birth, but his short experience with women led him to deduce that he had a better chance of continuing to talk to you throughout the afternoon if he would just play a little silly and pretend not to know what he was doing. And he definitely wanted to be with you that day.
It had been a while, and at some point, you moved a bishop.
Check in 4 moves if Spencer moved the rook.
He moved a pawn, you took the pawn.
Bishop takes the pawn and check in 10 moves.
He moved the knight. You moved your queen
Rook takes queen then checkmate in 5 moves.
But Spencer ignored any of the logical options his brain was giving him. He was moving pieces wrong on purpose and moving another pair well just so he could enjoy your face of concentration and victorious smiles when you made a smart move that he could have foreseen from the start of the game. He analyzed your game, you attacked hard at first, you were impulsive, but at some point you changed your modus operandi to a more calculating and strategic one, your eyebrows gave you away when you were going to make an important play.
"Check" you muttered at some point. Spencer knew how to beat you, but, I repeat, he moved badly on purpose "And that's mate"
"Oh really?" he said, pretending to be puzzled.
"Yes, you left the way clear for my bishop" you explained, with a kind tone but also somewhat condescending. It didn't seem like you wanted to make fun of him, but rather you were looking for a way to make him see his mistake, without knowing that your companion knew exactly what he had done wrong.
"Oh, it's true"
"Either way it's fine, you played excellent" you exclaimed to comfort him, while you offered him a piece of candy and smiled broadly. Spencer looked at his phone, expecting to see a message from JJ saying there was a case to attend to, but he found nothing.
"A rematch?" he said, trying his luck, to which you answered yes quite happily.
Spencer won that game and it was inevitable for both of you to wish for another game just for the tiebreaker, with you crowning yourself the winner of the evening. Between movements you took the opportunity to look at him and you would lie when you said that your cheeks didn’t feel hot from being in the presence of such a peculiar specimen. Most of the men around you behaved like cavemen, so being with someone that civilized was most pleasant.
“I have to go home, it's getting dark already,” you said, quite sad, after that third game. The candy had already run out and Spencer's book had been forgotten to the side, but you still didn't want to walk away with just the memory of those hazel eyes “But if you're ever around again, we could play… if you want."
"I'd love to" he replied, sounding quite sincere.
Would it be too daring to ask for his number? What if it had just been a nice time that arose from a coincidence? You didn't want to spoil it, or scare him away, or anything like that.
You only said goodbye saying that you hoped to see him again and he said the same thing before the two of you went off on your own, fearing you would never see each other again.
After a few days you went back to the park hoping to meet him, but you were disappointed to see the empty spot. The process was repeated a couple of times and although you were carrying books to spend the afternoon, the chess board could never be missing from your bag, keeping the hope of finding him again. Time wasn't wasted after all, as you took the opportunity to continue your schoolwork outdoors, but it saddened you to think that you probably wouldn't see Spencer again, going so far as to regret not finding a way to contact him. But whoever perseveres, reaches, and you verified it when one afternoon you finally found him sitting at the same table as the first time.
“Spencer! What a joy to see you here” you greeted him casually, as if you hadn't been going to the park repeatedly just hoping to find him.
The man apologized to you saying that his work had kept him so busy that he hadn't even had time to stop by and when you asked what he did for a living you were met with an ambiguous answer that he held a position in a government office. Not a complete lie, but not the truth either.
That's how you kept finding him around to play with him, until at some point you barely paid attention to the board to give priority to the chat. Every time you saw each other you thought, without the slightest idea of the truth, that Spencer had been practicing to improve, because sometimes out of five games you only won two. But other days you might have a perfect streak that, while it made you feel happy, allowed you to comfort your friend a little.
You had started carrying different snacks to at some point find out which one was his favorite, which turned out to be the trail mix and, truth be told, it was something you expected, as if it fit perfectly with his personality. That's how you started carrying a pack of those whenever you could, alternating it with other kinds of more substantial snacks that Spencer loved.
So it was that, during the nearly two months that Matthew was unable to go to the park, you and Spencer kept each other company. You learned that he was an avid reader that, according to your first impression of him, he had taught a few classes, that he lived alone, loved classical music, was a big fan of science fiction and science in general, in short, he was a bit of a nerd. He was always telling you interesting facts that you couldn't even have imagined and you always listened very carefully.
One day you were concentrating on your next move when his voice interrupted you. It was a very beautiful afternoon and you had decided to put on light clothes that fluttered in the wind.
“I forgot to tell you. I brought you a book” was what he had said and from his brown leather briefcase he extracted a book with a faded cover that he handed over to you with great care.
“Sylvia Plath?” you exclaimed with total emotion. You had talked about the interest you had in starting to read it in one of the last meetings, because considering Spencer a connoisseur of literature, he would probably know which book to start with "Where did you get it?"
"It was from my mother, but she won't mind if you read it"
You carefully caressed the back with your fingertips with the biggest smile on your face, feeling flushed at the obvious show of attention you were receiving.
"Thank you so much"
"It's no big deal"
"I'll give it back to you soon"
"Take the time you need" he exclaimed sweetly. He was wearing a gray knit vest and a black dot-patterned formal shirt, along with a brown tie. His hair framed his face and looked so soft it made you want to reach out and just stroke it. You had been so stunned watching him, wondering if he was a real man or not, until he reminded you that it was your turn.
You moved your queen. Check in 7 moves.
"Spencer, can I confess something to you?"
He moved his bishop. He is saved from check.
"Huh, yeah"
“These last few weeks I have had a lot of fun. I really like being with you”
He looked at you for a second, as if he was waiting for a but that never came. There was no but you just liked being with him. Reid didn't usually find many people who would enjoy his company without a work commitment involved and that you had said something like that made him feel a warmth in his heart that he couldn't describe.
"I just wanted to tell you that, no... I hope I wasn't weird"
"I like being with you, too," he exclaimed immediately, hoping you didn't get the wrong idea. "It's probably the most normal and quiet thing that happens during my week."
“You've never told me what you do at work, is it paperwork and stuff? Bureaucratic processes?
“Something like that” he lied “Most of the time it's stressful and very tiring. That's why I like coming here, with you, because it helps me relax. I used to play with a very dear friend, but I took a break because… I didn't feel like going back to it. But I have to admit that you are a wonderful player."
"I hope so. Because I'm about to beat you” you smiled, moving another piece and putting the game in check again. Spencer always knew that he had to move to win, but again he made enough mistakes to get beaten by you. Once this happened, he took his king and handed it to you with a small smile, allowing your hands to touch.
It was already getting a bit dark and that was the signal for both of you to come home.
"You won 3 out of 4," he informed you, more cheerful than he was supposed to be. "Rematch tomorrow?"
“Of course”
One of you always asked that and in the same way the other always answered yes. Come to think of it, it was pretty funny that when you lost the next afternoon you won and vice versa, allowing the promise of a rematch to always hold.
"Do you live far from here?"
You knew, of course, that there was another question implicit in it. He not only wanted to know how far away your apartment was, but he wanted to know if he could walk you there. You'd never thought of the two of you hanging out outside of your afternoon game sessions, so you told him it was about a fifteen-minute walk away, and he naturally offered to walk you there.
"You're not a serial killer or anything like that, are you?" you joked, although a part of you said it to watch his reaction and detect (if possible) any sign of a lie.
“I'm not, but it's quite right that you doubt me,” he replied, as he packed his things into his briefcase, smiling slightly as if he hadn't been offended but rather admired by a good question “From any man, really, because the largest number of serial killers is concentrated in the United States and 95% of murderers worldwide are… well, men. Possibly this is due to the levels of testosterone and the social implications of masculinity that exist, this isn’t counting the traumas that they may have developed during their lives. Speaking specifically of men with psychopathy, most of them are able to manipulate their chosen victims to gain their trust before harming them. Many murderers have been described as charming, an example of this is Ted Bundy, who even when he was arrested many women attended the trials with banners and self-declared his fans. A few years ago there was even a killer here in Virginia who would date young women and then kill them, because it was easier for him not to resist, but luckily he only took the lives of 3 women before he was caught”
Spencer wasn't even aware of the changes in expressions on your face until he looked at you, completely serious and doe-eyed.
"Should I be worried about the fact that you listed reasons why I shouldn't let you accompany me?"
“Oh no, no” he had probably scared you and it made him feel so sorry and silly “I just… like to read about it, I promise. In addition, I have a degree in psychology, sometimes we analyzed the profile of the murderers to understand their psyche. But if you don't want me to come with you, that's fine."
"I'll take the risk"
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry"
"You didn’t do it. It just wasn't such a convincing defense” you carefully reached out to grab his arm and encourage him to walk beside you, flashing him a sweet smile.
Spencer, still feeling guilty for having rambled on about psychopaths, walked by your side for a while, and until you started talking his mood improved. A lot of times your talks didn't have to do with anything scientific and focused more on pop culture stuff that Spencer was completely unaware of. But you never teased him, but little by little you started to explain to him the plot of different movies or celebrity gossip of the moment, which was very funny for him. Your vibrant personality had him completely fascinated.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" you said once you got to your building. They were nice condos that Spencer had seen before.
"If something unforeseen does not arise, yes"
"Thanks for joining me. And for not being a murderer too” you laughed, still in a joking mood, while he looked at the ground a little embarrassed.
"Your lack of confidence hurts me"
"Admit that it's your fault, Doctor Reid" taking advantage of the artificial height difference that standing a few steps higher than him gave you, you leaned over to hug him goodbye and he sighed deeply as he felt the softness of your body against his "I hope you're well. Rest"
"Bye," he breathed out softly, entranced by the sight of your kind eyes looking directly at him.
He went home wishing with all his might that the job in the unit would allow him to meet you, but unfortunately it didn't, and since the two of you still hadn't thought of exchanging numbers he didn't find a way to apologize to you. He went to the park for several days in a row, but he couldn't find you anywhere and he was afraid that you wouldn't want to see him again. Had he done something wrong? Had you really believed that he could be a criminal? He probably explained to you what FBI unit he worked for and all that weird stuff he was telling you would have started to make sense.
He had already given up hope just the day you were practically running to the park, your chessboard bouncing through your bag and your breathing heavy as a sign of your poor physical condition.
You expected him to be there even with your repeated absences and when you finally arrived you noticed that around your usual table was a small group of people. You didn't know what it could be so you decided to go look too and you were surprised to discover Matty, whom it was the first time you'd seen in months, playing with nothing more and nothing less than your game partner. 
You knew Matty enjoyed playing fast chess, so a clock was sitting next to both of them, and Spencer seemed to be playing better than he ever had in his life. His eyes lasted a second to scan the positions of the pieces and another to move his own, without needing to make any effort to plan the right move.
Everyone around was impressed by the skill of the teenager and the man who, according to your deductions, had not played more than 15f minutes. After a couple more minutes Spencer smiled broadly and declared that the younger one was checkmated, drawing Matthew's complaint and collective applause for the feat.
"The boy is good, but not as good as him" an old man informed you, who apparently knew the development of these games very well.
Spencer enjoyed the cheers rather modestly for a moment, but when he caught sight of you watching him from the crowd he went completely pale.
"Hello," he hurried to greet you, getting up from his seat to approach you and causing the fan group to break up "You came."
"Yeah, I've been kind of busy with college," you sincerely apologized, letting him envelop you in a hug that took you by surprise.
"I'm glad to see you"
"But what was all that about, by the way?"
"What was what?"
"Y/N!" said Matty, rushing over to greet you. "Do you guys know each other?"
"Yeah, I would say that" you clearly noticed the young man's intention to ask the story of that, but as soon as he opened his mouth you said something else: "But will you allow me to talk to him for a second? It's adult talk," you joked, trying to tease your little friend, and then walked a few steps away, taking Spencer with you. "Do you want to explain to me how you became a chess master during my three-day absence?"
"I don't... I don't know what you're talking about"
"I saw that! You beat him so fast and Matt is very good. Have you been letting me win all this time?” you asked with a frown. You didn't sound annoyed with him, but rather surprised, and when he pursed his lips and looked at you with those sad little eyes, you knew you were right “You were lying to me! Why did you do that?”
"I didn’t want to make you feel bad"
“I'm an adult, I can handle failure” you argued. A lie, but he didn't have to know that.
“It's just that you… you looked so happy winning and I was happy to spend time with you and I figured if I played like that you'd start to get bored or think I'm a show-off. You didn't want to make a bad impression."
He had been cheating on you, yes, but now that he had explained his reasons, you thought they were really cute. Although you didn't like being treated with that kind of condescension, it would honestly have been foolish to bother you about something like that. They were just friendly games of chess, not a world championship.
"So all this time you were this clever?" you asked and he nodded sheepishly “And you still managed to lose?”
“It's easy once you get the hang of it. If you know all the possible outcomes then you also know where you shouldn't move your pieces."
"I must have looked so stupid all this time"
"No, it's not like that" he hastened to say, while one of his hands went up to your elbow and gently held it "I didn't behave like that because I think you're stupid. I think you're very smart, actually."
"So you were just pretending so we could see each other in the evenings?"
No one had ever done that for you and now you weren't even offended by it anymore, you were, how shall I put it? Touched, perhaps.
"I thought if we didn't play chess there would be no other excuse for it"
A giggle escaped your lips and although at first he thought you were mocking, the truth was the opposite.
 “You don't need to do that for us to be together, I could come to the park and just talk to you. I already told you, I like being with you” you clarified.
You two were silent for a moment and although you were calm Spencer was fiddling with his hands, apparently uncomfortable.
"There's also something else I didn't tell you" you widened your eyes slightly, waiting for him to continue "Actually, I do work for the government, but I work for the FBI in the behavioral analysis unit, that's why sometimes I disappear for so many days or…"
"That's why you know so much murder data" you hastened to say. Suddenly everything clicked together, like pieces in a puzzle "You're not a murderer, you catch murderers!”
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want to scare you."
"Oh, and it was more convenient to let me think you're a psycho," you said sarcastically and only received another amused and sorry look "Any other secrets you want to share with me, Agent Reid?"
“At the moment I only have that. But the afternoon is young, more things can come up with the passing of the hours”
You both laughed at the joke and Matthew's voice calling you snapped you out of your conversation. The teen demanded an explanation as to why his playmate and former babysitter seemed so trusting of each other, which Spencer probably hadn't explained to him yet.
"I just want to ask you one thing"
"And what is?"
“Play a real game with me. No cheating, no tricks"
"Rematch?" he said, as was already your tradition, and you smiled widely.
You walked back to the table taking his arm and after summarizing a few months of history to Matthew the two of you finally got to play. Spencer beat you in less than 5 minutes, but the satisfaction you felt finding out that he was so smart, as well as handsome, was completely worth your loss.
You only managed to beat him after half a year, because from that moment on Spencer was so distracted by your face that it was hard for him to concentrate on the plays. And when you became his girlfriend, all you had to do was steal a few kisses from him to ensure your victory, which, honestly, didn't bother him in the least.
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roosterbruiser · 1 year
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(If you're still accepting blurbs !)
‘I was looking forward to seeing you all week.’
You're just starting to go to the beach (for 2 weekends now) and it's usually the same day the Dagger squad plays dogfight football. You and Rooster been secretly yearning for each other and at this point you've given up using this time to read (just using the book and sunglasses to hide that you're thirsting all over him 😶‍🌫️). Rooster caves and sweeps you off your feet and (๑>◡<๑) !!!!
you have your sunglasses high up on your nose, not chancing any of the sweaty, oily men playing a strange game of football seeing you practically eye-fucking them.
this is the third weekend you've come to the beach at the same time as them. the first two were total accidents--they just happened to be there at the same time you decided to set up a little reading nook in the sand.
but now? oh, you're absolutely here at the same time as them on purpose.
there's one in particular, one with a ridiculous mustache and ridiculous tan skin and ridiculous muscles, who's caught your eye. there's a distinct feeling in your gut when he looks in your direction--a jolt of something between excitement and fear. it makes you feel like electricity is coursing through your veins.
but right now, as you're "reading" your book, you're trying to hide the disappointment in your gut. you've timed your glances perfectly, making sure no one can see you, and you haven't seen your man.
what a waste, you think. now I'm actually gonna have to read Animal by Lisa Taddeo.
you sink back into the towel you're on, soaking up the hot sun as perspiration gathers on your hairline.
as you stifle a frown, you try to read a sentence, a pit of frustration growing in your belly.
but then the sun disappears.
brows knit, you look up, sunglasses falling low on your nose. and then he's here, standing just before you, grinning down at you. he has on the sweetest denim cut-offs you've ever seen and ark aviators--and that's all.
"hey," he says with a grin like the two of you are old friends. "I've been looking forward to seeing you all week."
you almost choke out a desperate me!? but then you think better of it. you let the book fall closed, push your sunglasses up on your head, and give him a sweet smile.
there's that familiar jolt in your gut--right on time as he digs his toes in the sand and awaits the sound of your voice.
"did I look like I needed some shade?" you ask.
"you were looking awfully hot," Rooster says with a a flush across his chest.
"you the protector of the beachgoer's then?" you ask, biting your lip.
he nods.
"well, as a Navyman, I take it upon myself to do my part," he says with a hand over his heart. "wouldn't want anyone getting burned. not on my watch!"
"ahh," you say softly, trying to keep your heart regular. "I'm feeling a bit special that I was chosen out of everyone here."
Bradley shrugs, still beaming at you.
"I can only do so much."
honestly, he noticed you the very first time you came to the beach. it may have caused him a football to the gut and a roll around the sand with Coyote, but he just couldn't get himself to tear his eyes away from you. he absolutely had to see what book you were reading, which he may or may not have read reviews for--strictly to get a feel of what you must be interested in. and he would be remiss if he didn't catch those little stolen glances.
"well, thank you for your service," you tease with a mock salute. "how can I ever repay you? apple pie? white bread?"
he laughs--a big and booming thing.
"how about your name?" he asks.
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slayingqueenchal · 1 year
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All because of a silly little niffler, and a necklace| James Potter x f!reader
Reader is Slytherin, the same year as James, James pulls a big prank to snape but instead, you got it and everyone's making fun of you. Somehow reader is muggleborn in slytherin, cheesy love story, no smut
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"Y/n, can you open this box for me? " Severus asked, giving you a very bright yellow and red box, that's moving.
"Fine" You were tired of severus's 'can you's' so you might as well do it.
Inside. A niffler jumped at you and you fell to the floor. It took your necklace off, a very special necklace to you, and you can hear laughs already, as the niffler walked across your body.
A boy named Regulus catched it and a first year helped him put it in the box, seems like they were the only one's who actually has a heart.
"Wasn't me" Severus puts his hands up and laughed. All this because you were a 'mudblood' as they say it. You were a muggleborn, but, clearly better than the pureblood maniacs. Even Severus is not a pureblood, he's a halfblood and treating hisself like he's one of the Black's.
You stood up and ran outside of the common room, even outside, you can hear people chiming in 'y/n the mudblood, is she gonna cry'. You've never seen nor heard Slytherin be this evil.
You didn't know were your feet was bringing you , but you walked, and walked, and walked, and bumped into someone.
"I'm sorry! " You put your hands down, to show your bright red face of sadness, but mostly embarrassment.
"Uhm, y/n, right, uhh, what's wrong? " A guy asks. Messy hair, glasses. Well, his voice too, was iconic, James Potter. The guy your fancied since year one, you were suprised that he even knew your name. Well you sniffed, just like a niffler and wiped your tears, you were more embarrassed now.
"Severus told me to open this box, and there was a niffler and It took my necklace, and plus, all the Slytherin's were laughing at me! " You cringed at the moment, remembering when many slytherins laughed, mostly the purebloods.
"Snivel-- snape? H-how dare he? " James stuttered. "James.. Don't tell me it's one of your pranks? " You asked him, disappointed, but honestly not surprised.
"Uh-uhm, I'm sorry, yes, but I swear I'll find you the necklace! And do things to snape, im sorry! " He said. "Oh.. James.. Well, you said sorry, and i guess it's fine, I can buy myself a new one.. Later" You said. If you hadn't fancied him for years, you would've screamed at him and made him pay back but, he is James Potter.
"How much is it? The necklace, of course" James asked. "Sixty galleons, I know you might laugh at me for crying at a sixty gall-" He cuts you off "sixty?! Sixty?! Oh my Lord, y/n I'm sorry! Can I buy you a new one, or-or something? " James eyes lit up.
"No, it's fine.. James, you didn't meant it, I mean it was severus's fault, and uhm, I need to go now, James, have a goodnight! " You faked your smile.
Walking down to the halls, you were sad about your necklace, you loved it. It glows yellow if you're happy, blue if you're sad, red if you're mad, pink if you're adoring something or someone, purple if you're confused, and green if you're sick.
You walked to the common room, in hope to find the box and Regulus, but just to get told that after you left, the niffler left too.
Well, you got to bed, sick to your stomach that you declined 60 galleons, and humiliated yourself, in front of the whole common room and james.
The next day was worst, you got a nickname 'y/n the sniffing niffler'. It was getting worst that you left your food almost untouched.
A week passed by, you didn't go Hogsmeade, cause you've seen everything there, and it's not like you can afford many things there.
You instead enjoyed reading some books, the fantastic beast, while drinking tea. You enjoyed the quietness and the weirdness of the creature's.
Until that peace was disturbed by the sound of someone running. "Y/n, you can't believe it, I've been searching you all day! " It was James.
"James Potter, looking for me, what? " You looked at him confused. "Y/n I'm sorry about your necklace, I found the niffler and.. It chewed it up" James said, his chest going up and down after all thw running.
"As expected, that's alright, James" You looked at your book back. "No, uhm-y/n, I bought you a necklace, from the same exact shop" James said. You looked at him, and there he had it, a similar necklace, thats shining pink.
"James, oh my gosh! " It felt as if you were the happiest person in the world. "Thankyou so so so much! " You stood up and hugged him, dramatic and cheesy, but you just had the urge to. Imagine getting a necklace from the guy you had a crush on for years, and imagine him putting it on to you, well, you don't need to imagine now.
He puts the necklace on to you. "Beautiful, as always" He smiled. The necklace gleamed yellow and pink. Well, around him the necklace is always yellow and pink, mostly pink.
"Seems like you adore me, don't you little thing? " James grinned. "How did you know, wait, no! I'm happy! Do you even know what pink means? " You asked him, stuttering.
"Oh, love, you must know that everyone who buys it gets clear instructions of what the colors means, right?" James grinned.
"See James, the problem is that uhm, it's pink because.. " You paused, immediately regretting what you just said. "Because? " James shot an 'innocent' eye to you.
"Oh geez, James you know it, ive liked you since first year" You looked down. "You can take it back if your disgusted of me, resell it or something" .
"Look at me, love" He said. James, has this special power that makes you do whatever he says, and you looked at him.
He smashed your lips into yours, while holding your chins up to him. Softly and gently, you two pulled away. "Mhm, I think we both know I like you back and you're keeping the necklace forever. Y/n y/l/n, the most beautiful, and nicest girl I've met, would you like to be my girlfriend? " James looks at you dead in the eye. You of course said yes.
This evening was not what he expected, he expected you to take the necklace and leaves, but, this is way better obviously.
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an unhinged (and unofficial) dissertation on the pjo fandom
so i don't usually post anything that isn't my-works-related, but i had a...mildly heated discussion with a fellow film student tonight about the pjo show and it's got me thinking. bear with me, we'll be here awhile.
as we all know, the first season of pjo has ended. i've stayed relatively OFF tumblr and other social media during this time, but i know there are a lot of OG fans who are (in their words) "massively disappointed" in the show. most of the complaints i've heard have been during in person conversations though, so this post is mostly going to be referencing real complaints i've heard.
i've been a part of this fandom since i was thirteen. that's nearly eight fucking years of my life that i've devoted to the pjo universe. i have written and consumed YEARS' worth of fanfiction, i have read and reread every book so many times i can quote them forwards and backwards, and i went to the bookstore every single year on the new books' release dates to pick up my copies in-person. this fandom, these characters and this world have brought so much joy to my life, and i don't think i could ever fully articulate that in words. when i think of this series, i genuinely feel nothing but happiness.
but a few years ago—around the time i started college—i started distancing myself from the fandom for one glaring reason. this fandom can be such an...angry place? like, genuinely, i don't know how far it goes back—maybe all the way to the release of HoA, honestly—but i wasn't here pre-HoA, so all i know is that i very much remember how much people hated ToA when it came out.
here i was, having the TIME of my life with apollo and his silly little haikus, and people are going to war over how the series' writing quality has gone to shit and how everything was better before, blah, blah, blah. IN SPITE of everything that series gave us—discussion of the repercussions of child abuse and ptsd, representation of lgbtqa+ characters, and deep psychological messages that really teach young readers, i think, how to better understand themselves and their emotions and deal with them in healthy ways. and it just wasn't fun to be in a fandom where, as soon as you go "hey, did you read the new book?" they scoff and roll their eyes and only want to talk about how terrible it is. (i also missed all the discourse on the sun and the star when it came out—PHENOMENAL read, btw—but i've read some things that lead me to believe that it wasn't well received either, in spite of how lovely it was.)
so...it's dramatic to say i "left" the fandom, but i certainly withdrew from it. deleted my pjo ao3 and tumblr, started over with a different fandom. but the love has always been there, and the show starting really helped spark it fully back to life.
but now, the same thing is happening again, i'm noticing. remember back in the day, when we only had the shitty fucking movies, and we were like "man, ANYTHING would be better than this garbage. literally just give us actors who are the right age and we'll be happy." well, now we have PHENOMENAL kid actors who genuinely are having a good time playing our beloved characters, and instead of supporting them, we're STILL complaining about them not being "portrayed correctly"?
i've talked to so many people who complain that percy is "too smart," which is kind of a bullshit insult to percy's canon character. in the books (at least the first five) we're seeing things ONLY from percy's pov. he's a kid who's struggled with learning disabilities and been told he's an idiot all his life by everyone except his mom—but as others have pointed out way more eloquently than i could, percy is a very intelligent and powerful individual while maintaining his goofy fun personality, which is WHY so many people love him so much. he's complex, and i think they managed to capture that really well in the show even amidst all the changes.
don't get me started on the fucking racism towards leah sava jeffries—i'm honest to gods ashamed that there are racists who call themselves pjo fans. she is so talented, and everything we ever could have hoped for in an on-screen annabeth. ALL of the kids are—there's literally no argument to be had there.
and then, if people aren't complaining about the casting, it's the series' writing. or there's too much exposition. rick is changing too many things. the directors don't know what they're doing. it's not a TRUE book adaptation. (someone said that to me, and i genuinely laughed because i thought they were joking. when the MOVIES exist, they wanted to make that comment about the show.)
are there some things i would change about the show, given the opportunity? god, yes. the set design for the underworld was horrendous. (in my opinion, of course.) but here's the thing. i have spent eight years of my life waiting for this show to happen, and in that time, i've learned a lot about how much goes into successfully producing such a complex series. how much money and time is spent, and how many people have to be on board to make it happen. it's genuinely kind of miraculous that we're even getting this show at all, considering all the ways it could have failed before it even made it out of pre-production.
and i think we, as fans, sometimes forget that we aren't owed this. we don't own the percy jackson franchise. it makes me so sick and tired when authors or artists in any capacity feel like they have to cater their works to the masses, because they know they'll get thrown into the fucking fire if they don't. rick and becky riordan didn't have to got to the trouble of producing this show for us. they chose to—everyone involved chose to—because they wanted to make something fun and enjoyable not only for the fans, but everyone who chose to be a part of it.
do you know how insane it is that, when you read pretty much any interview of pjo bts, everyone talks about how fun the production was? i've been on film sets. they can be ABSOLUTELY miserable when they're not done right. but eight months into production, the kids were still laughing and having a good time, everyone's still giving 100%, they're excited, it's fun. walker was willing to go into a diving tank for a full fucking day in order to get one scene—i know i would never have that kind of dedication, and i bet 99% of you wouldn't either.
i know this has gotten really long-winded, but i've said all of that to say that...i'm kind of tired of fans trying to bring down the show, and more than that, trying to bring down each other for having a good time. as i've said before (many times, i'm sure), i waited eight years for this, and i have had SUCH a fun time watching it. assuming we get a season 2 renewal, there are going to be even more new fans coming in than we've already gotten from season 1, and i want this fandom to be a fun and positive place for them. for all of us. we don't have to miserable and angry all time. we can critique the show, sure—it's not perfect, and it was never going to be—but we have to remember that television is an art form, and that art is subjective even when it involves our favorite characters. and we can accept that and still have a good time, because it's just more fun to have fun, you know?
this fandom has always had so much potential to be the BIGGEST, most supportive and kind and loving fandom. with how much representation this series has, with how much content we've been given, with the SHEER massive number of us...i've always thought we could be a really, really great community. maybe it's impossible to hope that we could be the best fandom on earth, but if nothing else...could we all try to just be a little bit kinder? genuinely, as cheesy as it may sound...it's just nicer when we're nice to each other. and when there's so many real things in the world to be mad about...i would much rather this be a place where we can come to at the end of a long day and just...feel at home. personally, i just think that would be really, really nice.
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Ooohhh mannn. I'm dealing with bad imposter syndrome rn.
I want to post the comic soon, but school has been a bit of a set back for that. Thank you for your patience. <3
A little vent discussing OOH and just generalish stress about it below. (Please don't feel like you have to read this. It's just my brain spitting out some thoughts.)
I'm really worried about how OOH is going to go. I worried that some things will be ooc or will be plain dumb or cringe and I don't realize it. I'm probably worrying about nothing, but I'm still worried it will be a disappointment.
Man the bad thoughts and doubt are really trying to stress me out with this.
Besides that though, I'm also not how I should draw this comic. Should I do more my style, should this be fully colored, would it be ok if it was just one rendered page at the beginning and the end? I genuinely don't know what I should do and don't know how much I can handle drawing, because I have to keep in mind that I want to make this a full on comic.
I don't know what exactly brought on this stress, but it may be partly because I dumbly watched someone react to a fan fiction that was honestly no bueno (the fic had nothing to do with TMNT or anything with any fandom). But I think that has made me worry about my own fiction, and yeahhhh I shouldn't do this to myself it's not helping me.
It also probably because school and the things that need to be done before I graduate.
I feel like I want to discuss OOH with one of my moots though, just to make sure that the story ideas I have so far, because I will admit there is some improv going on, make sense and I would really appreciate some feedback.
Honestly any feedback on what I have posted so far would be very helpful at the moment.
Would any of my moots want to be a guinea pig for OOH? Things would be spoiled though. There is no pressure and I will probably delete this in a day or two.
Sorry for the vent. Thank you for reading this if you did.
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oh-no-another-idea · 25 days
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15 question OC interview [Fynn edition] 🕑
Tagged by all the lovelies @ghost-town-story @fanged-solace and @willtheweaver -- thanks, guys! I love writing these they're so fun :) Today we're going to interview Fynn!! I'm very excited for this as his character recently got a bit of a behind-the-scenes makeover and has some new backstory. :)
Previously on, in case anyone wants to view, are Antonio's interview, and Paris's.
"We gather here today..." Antonio intones, holding his notepad and lantern as though he is the sole survivor of a doomed expedition in the jungle. "For a bold and momentous occasion."
"Speak for yourself," Paris says, leaning against the wall behind him. "Some of us gather for the entertainment." "Being me," Fynn says dolefully, trying not the clutch the armrests of his chair so tight that he ruins the fabric.
Are you named after anyone?
Not a terrible question to start off with, all things considered. "Yes," Fynn says. "My grandfather. He died when I was only a few years old."
When was the last time you cried? And a terrible second question. Fynn eyeballs Antonio, but he just looks normal. Which is to say, like an utter loon. Behind him, Paris and Velia knock their shoulders together. Only Lewis has some measure of sympathy on his face. Probably because he knows he'll be next before too long. "I don't remember," Fynn lies. He did remember. It had been the night before he'd decided to leave the city. Antonio raises an eyebrow but scribbles the answer down.
Do you have kids? "Booo," Velia says loudly. Antonio twists around in his seat to glare at her. "My older sister has children," Fynn says before either of them can start a fight. "I've only met the oldest two. They are some of my favorite people in the world."
Do you use sarcasm?
Fynn sighs. "Alas yes."
What's the first thing you notice about people? "I don't really," Fynn apologies. He tries not to wilt under the four confused gazes suddenly latched on him. "I'd make a terrible detective." "Not at all?" "Leave him alone, Antonio," Lewis says, and what do you know, Antonio moves on.
What's your eye color? "--I don't know," Fynn says, thrown. When has he ever noticed, or cared? Lewis scurries over and kneels before him. "Gray," he says. "Like steel beams. Or coal smoke." Fynn smiles down at him. Lewis winks.
Scary or happy endings? "I don't like endings," Fynn says honestly.
Any special talents? "No," Fynn says, frowning. "But I've skills. I'm a mechanic by trade, I know my way around an engine and the tools needed to maintain her, and a fair bit of carpentry as well." "And you're good with kids," Velia adds. "That's a skill alright."
Where were you born?
Fynn can't help but grin, thinking of home. "Norway."
What are your hobbies? Fynn frowns. "I'm a working man--" "Oh shut up," Antonio whines. "Live a little, Fynn. You're here with us, aren't you?" "Then you're my hobbies," Fynn says, just to see their faces. They don't disappoint.
Have you any pets? "I can hardly feed myself on a good day," Fynn says, realizing he's calmer now than he expected to be. "Can you imagine a dog trailing after me?" "How about a rat?" Paris suggests unhelpfully. "Since they're already your roommates?" "Or a pigeon?" Velia adds. Fynn rolls his eyes. The two of them, honestly.
What sports do you play/have played? "This is ridiculous," Fynn mutters. "Yes, ridiculous," Paris says, almost like he's been waiting for it. "Quite right, Fynn." Antonio shoots him a look. "I didn't invite you, you insisted on accompanying us. At least get out and leave us be." Paris leans down, grabs the notebook and reads off the next question.
How tall are you? "Fynn," Paris finishes, laughing a little. "Have you a measuring tape in your pocket?" "Yes, actually," Fynn says sheepishly pulling it out. He hands it to Antonio when he sees how large his grin is. Paris throws his hands up. "Might as well actually measure then." "Six foot one inch!" Antonio says triumphantly. "Good lord you're tall."
Favorite subject in school? "I stopped going to school when I came to America to work," Fynn tells them. "I can't say I miss it."
Dream job? "My job now," Fynn says. "With my family nearby and well and a steady paycheck." "And a flamingo," Antonio says promptly. Fynn stares. "Just to spice your plans up a little," Antonio elaborates. "Worry not, I will supply it." "You're going to make me steal from a zoo, aren't you," Velia says grimly. Antonio smiles.
Gentle tags for anyone who made it all the way through that, and also @zmwrites @revenantlore @reneesbooks @saltysupercomputer
@pertinax--loculos @sparrow-orion-writes and @penspiration-writing <3
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monigeko · 1 year
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What Cellbit wrote/read at the end of stream 5/25 English translations
Court is on Wednesday, 5/24. Cucurucho has no interest in creative blocks and revealed this when he didn't even think twice about Bobby's negotiation.
He won't accept giving the blocks for the armor, and any information we try to extract in exchange for the blocks will be processed and mitigated in a way that means nothing to us.
But if we have a new surprise, which even our side expects, maybe things will change. Cucurucho made a mistake in the midst of chaos and bullshit. Maybe that's the secret.
The plan is to try to use Forever's rule breaking as a bargaining chip to create a direct conflict between FOREVER and EU, surprising both Forever and Cucurucho in the negotiation, and asking for Richarlyson's paternity as a form of "betrayal", showing that I'm willing to join the Federation and I have no problem antagonizing my friends to protect Richariyson enca from sé para mico
But if we have a new surprise, which even our side expects, maybe things will change. Cucurucho made a mistake in the midst of chaos and bullshit. Maybe that's the secret.
The plan is to try to use Forever's rule breaking as a bargaining chip to create a direct conflict between FOREVER and EU, surprising both Forever and Cucurucho in the negotiation, and asking for Richarlyson's paternity as a form of "betrayal", showing that I'm willing to join the Federation and have no problem antagonizing my friends to protect Richarlyson and have him all to myself
Then the idea is to purposefully get away from everyone for a day, create something like a dark castle of evil away from everyone just to see the reaction of Cucurucho/Federation, the codes and any possible imposter among us.
If anyone decides to ally with me they can
be a possible suspect or someone who would not be trusted in the Order.
TUPDATE - DIA DO COURTS
Things went a little differently than planned, but the master plan worked out. Instead of being surprised by the betrayal during the court, I used as an excuse the fact that they lied to me and tried to blackmail me with the Vivo meme to make a scene.
I took the opportunity to change the defense attorney skin to the prosecutor skin to add to the drama
It's a plus point because it makes it seem like I genuinely have a motive/grudge towards my friends and lessens the Federation/Cucurucho's suspicion of mine
intentions, it didn't look like I betrayed them "out of the blue"
Considering that maybe the Federation watches the streams canonically to get the information, I think it was the best scam to do a whole narrative arc to have a big twist later.
As proof that the plan was not a lie, I left only a signed book for Richarlyson revealing the plan. and I didn't risk showing it on the stream.
It's still risky considering the Federation might have access to the egg items but it honestly broke my heart to see him so sad and disappointed. I hope I don't regret it.
I also blocked access to Sofia for others to see how Max reacts. I don't want to suspect him, but everything about her is very strange.
I will avoid mentioning its existence* to the Federation, and if they raise this matter, I will try to circumvent it.
IMPORTS
CODES
THE CODES attacked me shortly after I "joined the Federation.
A code made exclusively to kill me? He practically ignored Richarlyson. Strengthens the theory that codes kill teles that seek to keep others on the island.
WHEN THEY ATTACK
FINAL PLAN
With luck, the Federation will also wake me up in the hospital that Max woke up.
I will try to persuade as much as I can to acquire new information.
Continuing the conflict with the Qrdem' members and trying to please the other members of the island with explanations how I realized that the island's life and people are better than what I had before, and I don't want to lose that. They don't need to get involved in this.)
Using Richarlyson's courtroom event, where everyone will likely be present and watching, to reveal all the information I can get from the Federation in front of everyone.
So if they kill/arrest me I will become a martyr and everyone present will realize the truth about the Federation.
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soullikethesea · 2 months
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I think I'm in some kind of reenactment with T.
The thing that keeps occurring is that I get disappointed by something she neglects to do & then I feel super upset and want to lash out and can barely contain it (and IF I express it, it comes out as "never mind my question"). I sort of angrily retreat, because the insecurity of waiting totally trips me up.
The things in the last few sessions: she neglected to tell me that she'll have to cancel some of our appointments (and I planned around them to have my trip), so now we will have to have a sudden long break. Found out about this at the very end of the session, got very upset when I got home. Thankfully there was another session before the long break, arguably that makes it better. She also said she wasn't sure about one date and that maybe we could see each other next week.
I found it super hard to contain how sad and out of control I felt about this (it just triggered old stuff about my dad). So I tried arranging that other session, it was not possible. Nor was that date she wasn't sure about earlier. I felt more confused and hurt about the false hope. Emailed about how triggered I was, T replied with an email she meant to send weeks ago. The email from weeks ago actually met some needs, because it gave us things to work on.
Which involved writing confrontational letters for my parents. I did that. Got very triggered, had a period of very little sleep. Slowly got more functional again. I think the letters are a good starting point to work more on this topic. So I was hoping we could discuss them in that one session before the break.
But then it turned out that T had missed that email and hadn't read them. Since it was basically the most important topic for me, she asked if she could read during the session. So she read one of them while I was... idk, sitting there. And then she got all misty-eyed. We couldn't really get into what it meant to me, because I was super numb and disconnected and she was basically crying about how bad it all had been. Since we were quite disconnected from each other, I'm not sure if it was helpful. It just felt like "yeah, OK, now you realize how bad it was, but it doesn't change anything. I already went through it. It already happened and that is when I was alone. I've already dealt with it, alone. I've already tried telling you about this for years and I'm honestly surprised my words apparently didn't make an impact until now."
But I could tell that T was really trying and that also made me feel more mild. She did say some helpful things about the extent of the neglect and what effects it has on me. Time ran out and there was still the letter for my mother left. She asked if there was something she could do for me and said that I can email her and ask for replies. She also said she will still read the other letter and send me a reply. I thanked her and said that would be great, because right now we're still in that topic and in a month both of us will probably not remember. Given her work schedule, I expected her to take care of it that day or maybe the next.
Still no reply, and I'm getting quite triggered again. Why did she say she was going to do it? She didn't have to say that, you know. It would've given me more peace of mind not to be "waiting" like this. The thing is, I feel very ashamed of that letter. So now I wish I'd never sent it and never asked her to read it, nor agreed that she would.
Another reenactment of the same sort of situation. At least I'm realizing that now. So I think the best I can do is to let it go. I'm not sure how to do that, but I will try my best. She's only human, she's probably getting sucked into the reenactment same as me. I'm going to let it go and I'm going to count on myself. Just like I know how to do. I was trained for this, Lucas says. And a break is not the end of the world. I will let things flow as they go, and not try to force having support. It's not there in the way I wish it could be, and it's not there in words matching actions, but there is support out there in the world. I'm in a relatively good position now in my daily life and perhaps that fact in itself can already serve as support.
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mooodyblue · 2 years
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call me | 70s!elvis x fem!reader
summary: you and elvis meet at a time where he needs someone the most.
warnings: angst, gets nsfw at the end but not too crazy. mentions of pills, loneliness and idk it's kinda sad. sorry if i missed anything
word count: 3,029
note: written while listening to call me by kali uchis <3 i don't know why everything i write is always sad, maybe i'm portraying my own feelings on elvis. WHO KNOWS! i honestly wanted to write more to this but i needed to stop myself lol i skimmed through for errors so if i missed any, that's my bad. if i read my writing over again, im deleting it 🤷🏼 may contain inaccuracies. i write everything with the real elvis in mind but you could probably imagine aus!elvis if you wanted.
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❤︎
elvis was grateful for everything in his life. he was happy to be able to make millions of people’s lives a little better by singing the music he loved. 
but god, he was so lonely.
going back to his hotel room, show after show, it was tiring. he loved performing but coming back to a quiet room after hours of social interaction left him feeling empty. of course, he would occasionally bring a girl to his hotel room but that was never enough for him. the sex was always great, but sometimes he just wanted someone to talk to. the women who came to his room never cared about talking, they just wanted him. 
he was having one of those nights. finishing up his final show of the month before flying back to memphis for a few weeks. he planned to leave in the morning so he could get a few hours of sleep before heading out. 
you happened to be staying in the same hotel elvis was staying. seeing elvis was a dream come true. it had been an awful week for you but nothing was going to stop you from seeing him, that's for sure. it was a chance for you to forget the real world for a little bit. 
oh, but of course something had to go wrong on this day. your stupid, little hotel key wasn’t working. that or the door was stuck. 
“well, i sure hope you're not tryin’ to break in my hotel room.” a man said in a strong, accent that sounded awfully too familiar to you. he walked closer to you, taking his glasses off. 
you looked up at him, then at the number on the hotel door. stupid, stupid, stupid. it was the wrong room. yours was next door. you had just tried to break into elvis presley’s hotel room. “oh….you're-i….i wasn’t-...it's not what it looks like-” you stammered. 
he laughed and pat you on the shoulder. “darlin’, don't even worry about it. i can tell by the look on your face that you got the wrong room.” 
“i’m so sorry, elvis. really! it's been a long week, i just wasn't paying attention.” 
elvis shook his head,”don't apologize. d’ya need anything?” he asked. you were taken back by the question, even if it was a simple one. how do you even answer that question? 
“i don't want to be a burden-”
“definitely not a burden. i can’t sleep after a show anyway.” he unlocked the door to his hotel room, “you did just try to break into my room, it's the least i can do.” he joked.
you wandered into his room, looking around. there were only a few clothing items hanging in the closet and the room seemed as if nobody was staying there, besides the various pill bottles you noticed on the side table. it did smell like him though, in a good way. 
“i never leave my room when i’m tourin’ except to perform. that's why there's not much to look at, sorry if you're disappointed.” he chuckled. he placed his glasses on the dresser and slid his shoes off, setting them aside. “make yourself at home! i’m gonna shower and freshen up.” you nodded as you watched him make his way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
you sat on the edge of his bed, still wondering why you were invited into his room. you've read about the girls he brings into his hotel rooms, there was no way that's why he invited you in. you loved elvis, you thought he was very handsome but you weren't that kind of girl. it was definitely tempting to snoop around his room but you had too much respect for the man to do that. his personal business was not yours. 
he opened the bathroom door, glancing over to see if you were still there. you turned your head towards him, flashing a small smile at him as he ran a towel through his hair. 
“have you just been sitting there? you haven't even taken your shoes off! i promise i don't bite!” he hung his towel up and made his way to pour himself and you a drink. “unless you want me to, of course.” he grinned. 
“oh come on, you don't even know my name.” you giggled, slipping your shoes off. he handed you a drink and sat beside you. 
“alright then, what's your name?” he asked. 
“y/n.”
“lovely name, y/n.” he took a sip from his drink. “so, y/n….” 
you turned your body slightly to look him in the eyes. “elvis…i-i hope you know i’m not that kind of girl…y’know that sleeps around. you're a very nice looking man but-”
his eyes widened at you, almost as if he was offended. “woah, wait a minute. who said anything about sleepin’ together?! i was just joking about the biting thing! you said you had a bad week, i thought you might wanna talk about it.  is that why you think i invited you in here?” he exclaimed. “i’m not all about sex, y’know!” 
ah–now you felt bad, you felt the heat from your cheeks turning red in embarrassment. “oh lord, i’m making a fool of myself tonight.” you muttered, drinking the entire glass he handed to you earlier. you don't even drink often and the liquid burned as it went down your throat but god, after tonight, you didn't care. “look, i’m sorry. apparently my big mouth continues to fail me.” you stood up. “can't keep a job, can't keep my relationships and apparently i can’t even talk to elvis presley!” 
he pulled you back down onto the bed next to him. “let’s just start over, sound good?” 
you nodded, apologizing again. “i’m sorry. i just–seeing you tonight was amazing. i lost my job last week, just got out of a awful relationship and all my friends have been avoiding me ever since. i was supposed to be here with my best friend but she won't talk to me so i had to come alone and to make things worse, i almost broke into your hotel room.” you sniffled. “i’m a disaster.” 
“don't say that.” he frowned. “first of all, if you hadn't tried breaking in here, you wouldn't be talking to me. second, you're not a disaster, don't ever say that about yourself. one bad week doesn't determine your whole life.” 
elvis stood up from the bed, walking over to the window showing the night sky over the city. he leaned against the wall, drink in hand while staring out. you couldn't help but stare at his tall figure, dressed in basic black pajamas with his hair still slightly damp from his shower. it was the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.
“i ain’t ever said this to anyone. but my heart is telling me to trust you.” he took a sip from his drink and continued to stare out the window. “do you know how many friends i’ve lost since….” he pointed outside. “all this? all these shows? all people ever want from me is money or expensive shit, nobody ever asks how i’m doin’” he stood there silent for a minute. “i finish a show, hop on a plane, do another show, sit in a hotel room by myself and just rot. that's all i do.” 
“but the girls-” 
he looked over at you. “the girls?” he scoffed. “gotta do something with all that adrenaline.” 
you looked down at your hands, still holding the empty glass that was handed to you earlier. the urge to pour yourself another drink was strong, but you were too nervous to get up from the bed. who would have known that someone who has made such a huge impact in music, was struggling so much? it broke your heart listening to him tell you his troubles, you could tell he had been holding it in for so long. 
you looked up at him again. “do you enjoy it?” 
“enjoy what?”
“performing.” 
he sat in a chair in the corner of the room facing her. he sighed. “i enjoy making people happy.” you stood up and made your way to the spot he was standing in near the window, crossing your arms and looking down at him. 
“but are you happy?”
elvis had never really been asked that before. he didn’t know how to answer that question. to be honest, he wasn't unhappy. but he wasn't thrilled about how his life was going either. the colonel refused to let him leave the states, he was very much overworked and exhausted, but no matter how tired or how much pain he was in, he went on to perform a hell of a show for hundreds of people every night. seeing the fans happy is what brought him so much joy.
he sat there in silence, not looking at you, almost as if he was holding back tears. god, he was so overwhelmed. he didn't even know you and he was sitting here, opening up his more vulnerable side to you. “i don't know if i can answer that question.” he murmured. 
crouching down in front of him, his tear-filled eyes glanced up at you. “can i hug you, elvis?” he nodded, reaching his breaking point and letting tears fall from his blue eyes. you sat on his thigh and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving an awkward, yet comforting side hug. it was nice. the smell of old spice and aftershave giving you a sense of peace. 
“thank you.” he whispered. “i’ve been feelin’ so lost, so alone….i have nobody to talk to.” 
“do you have a show tomorrow?” he shook his head. “‘m going back to memphis tomorrow.” 
you got up from his lap and went over to the desk, reaching for a pen and ripping off part of a small hotel notepad to jot down your number. “if you need anything, and i mean anything…..i want you to call me. if you feel lonely or just need to escape for a bit, call me. i don't care what time it is or what day it is, please reach out to me.” you begged. 
he smiled at you. “i may just take you up on that offer.” 
a few days passed. there was no sign of elvis, you hadn't received any calls since you saw him that night. it was a little worrying. maybe he didn't like you or maybe he was embarrassed? you tried to not let it bother you.
you were back home in california, spending each day checking the papers for new job listings and trying to keep yourself busy. the only time the phone rang was when your so called best friend finally called you, apologizing and asking about the concert. there was no explanation for them ignoring you for so long so you didn't say a word about the night you had with elvis. 
the day was dragging on, it was hot and musty outside and the neighbors upstairs were arguing for the third time that evening. you were sat on the couch staring at the ceiling as a movie played in the background when the phone range. you turned your head towards the phone, almost afraid to answer it. picking it up, you nervously held it to your ear. “..hello?”
“is this y/n?” 
your eyes widened. it was him. “elvis?” you gasped.
you could hear a slight chuckle on the other end. “hi darlin’, sorry for not calling. once i got to here, i just slept and uh….” he cleared his throat. “i was embarrassed…about-y’know.” 
“not embarrassed enough cause you decided to call me” you joked. 
“well, you got me there.” he laughed. “i wasn't feelin’ all that great so, i thought i’d suck it up and finally give you a call. how are you doin’?”
the two of you caught up. it hadn't been that long since you first met but it felt much longer. you rambled on about your friends and not being able to find a job, he rambled on about the colonel booking more dates. 
“why don't you come down to memphis?” 
“oh elvis, i don't have that kind of money–”
“did you really think i was gonna make you buy your own ticket?” he interrupted. “i can get you on the next flight down here. i just really need to see you.” 
you didn't pass up on that offer. the flight was that same night, he had even arranged someone to pick you up and bring you to graceland. none of this felt real to you. you both spent nearly every second together, outside and inside of his home. he opened up to you even more, expressing his feelings about his mom, the colonel and the many friends who used him throughout the years. you told him about your hometown, how you didn't have many friends growing up and the struggle of keeping a job. it was like that for a few weeks. 
eventually, people were starting to question his relationship with you. it wouldn't be long before the colonel started getting involved, especially with the new vegas shows coming up. 
one morning, you were greeted by jerry, one of the few friends elvis trusted. he gave you a slight smile, wishing you good morning and asking how you've been. “i’ve haven't seen him like that in years, y’know.” he said.
you looked at him, puzzled. “like what?” 
“happy.” you opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. “and for once, it's not because of the pills.” 
you didn't see him much that day due to him being off recording an album, but you stayed at graceland, thinking about what jerry had said to you earlier. there was no denying it, you had feelings for him and you were positive he felt the same towards you. there was the occasional flirting and hand holding, maybe a few friendly kisses here and there but nothing more. now, it was just a matter of when elvis would confess to you his true feelings. 
he returned home later that night, lighting up when he saw you dozing off on the couch. you jolted awake upon hearing the door shut. “hi, doll.” he whispered. “sorry for wakin’ ya.” sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes and got up from the couch. “i didn't mean to fall asleep, how was your day?”
he shrugged. “the usual. ‘m just ready to sleep” he sighed. 
you hummed, stretching and wincing at the slight cracks your bones made. “i’ll let you sleep then, see you in the morning?” 
“actually,” he took your hands in his, “would you sleep with me tonight?” he asked. his hands were warm against yours, you felt your heart skip a beat. “okay.” you responded, not giving it a second thought. 
he took you to his room upstairs, you had been in there several times already but it was different this time. you sat in his bed and waited for him to return from the bathroom as he washed up. looking around, you couldn't help but notice the small bottle of sleeping pills next to him. he had always complained to you about never being able to fall asleep, maybe he just wanted some company tonight. 
you watched as he stepped out of the bathroom and into his bed, bracing yourself for the conversation you were about to have with him.
“i-i spoke to jerry this morning.” you mumbled. his eyebrows rose, “oh? was he sayin’ anything bad about me?” you let out a small laugh. “no, no. nothin’ like that.” you stretched your legs out, playing with the hem of his blanket. “he said you've been happy lately.” 
“i see.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “he said it was because of me.” you blurted out. elvis’s face turned red, “ah…that man..” he muttered, covering his face with his hands. 
you removed his hands away from his face, giggling at him. “c’mon, sweet boy.” his face turned even more red. “don't call me that!” he felt his heart flutter at the pet name. 
despite the many love songs he sang almost everyday, it had been awhile since he felt this much love for someone. he was absolutely, madly in love with you despite only knowing you for just a few weeks. your presence filled that emptiness that had been lingering in his heart for so long. 
he looked away from you in embarrassment. “you can be honest with me, it's okay.” you squeezed his knee. elvis turned his head back towards you, fiddling with his hands nervously. 
“i like you a lot, y/n. you breaking into my hotel room-”
“that was an accident!” you yelled.
“damn, honey! lower your voice!” he yelled back. “i’m trying to confess to you, let me finish! ever since that night, i haven't been able to stop thinkin’ about you. you don't know how bad i needed someone like you in my life…..baby, it gets lonely. i don't feel like that when i’m with you.” 
you cupped his face, staring into his eyes lovingly. “can i kiss you?” you asked, softly. “yes, please.” 
you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his beautiful, soft lips that you adored so much. he tasted like mint from the toothpaste he used earlier mixed with your cherry chapstick and you wouldn't have it any other way. 
you always imagined this day, but never once thought you'd ever get to kiss elvis presley. he always kissed fans during his shows. unfortunately, he missed you at the last show. but now you finally had your time and boy, was it worth the wait. 
he pulled you onto his lap, deepening the kiss. you rolled your hips against his, forcing a small groan to escape his lips. the two of you continued for a few minutes till he pulled away, breathless and looking at you, pupils blown and with lust in his eyes. “baby, if we keep goin’, i’m not gonna last long.” 
“mmm, i guess we'll have to find out, won't we?” you grinned.
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pineappleciders · 1 year
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HEY DUDE ‼️‼️ can i pls request. Uhh sunny, hero and basil witha reader in recovery for atypical anorexia? Ik thats kinda vague but like, just them being supportive and trying to help is fine. ik u got a request like this before but hopefully they arent too similar? ANYWAYS yeah thank you 😁😁
SUNNY, HERO, and BASIL with a reader who is in atypical anorexia recovery
A/N: hii! don't worry about it, i've never gotten to write about recovery so this is cool for me!!! also i'm really sorry if anything in this is triggering or insensitive!!
TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorders, anorexia
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☆ ☆ ☆
SUNNY
sunny isn't the definition of a healthy lifestyle,,, to say the least. so he probably isn't amazing at being a good role model and stuff like that
but he's great at being there for you emotionally. he may not understand everything about your ED but he listens very closely and he's very open to talking about private or personal matters!
if he notices you're having a hard time at the dinner table or while eating, he might look at you and just. blink. like he doesn't say anything but he's non-verbally checking on you
and he might come up to you after eating and stare at you to see if there's anything you wanna talk about,,, he gives your hand a squeeze under the table to encourage you
whenever you just need a break or are feeling faint, he's all for just lounging on the couch and playing games or sleeping. he is never one to judge if you're feeling tired or lazy
again, he isn't amazing at helping you physically with your recovery, but he's glad to stick with you!!!! he wishes he could help a little more though, but honestly his company is more than enough : )
HERO
hero is great at reminding you to do things to take care of yourself. like he'll always text you like 'Hey, did you eat yet?' and if you don't respond he comes to your house and immediately starts making pancakes
and he's all like "oh hey Y/N yeah i let myself in i figured you'd like me to make you some breakfast!!! :D"
he also reminds you to drink water and brush your teeth!!!! it can get a little annoying sometimes but he really wants to be sure that you're taking care
100% makes you meals if you can't or aren't feeling like it. he'll make you sandwiches, lasagna, literally anything. you're kinda disappointed that he gave up being a chef because he's REALLY good at it
he understands if you don't finish everything he makes,,, he knows it's hard so he doesn't force it and puts it in the fridge for later, always asking if you want him to heat it up or want the rest
he'll sit down and be very serious and listen intently if you need to talk about something. and he just genuinely tries to give you honest advice and lets you know he cares and wants to see you as the best person you can be
BASIL
he tries to research a lot about recovery and EDs to try to help you, like he always searches up how to help someone in recovery and tries to memorize it
basil is always very nice. like he never points anything out that may be rude, so you never have to worry about like. getting insecure or anxious that he may be judging you. he genuinely doesn't care what other people do and supports you in everything
he feels really bad that you have to go through everything on your own, so he generally tries to help you with things, especially if it puts strain on your body or you're feeling weak. he's very happy to help!!
amazing at listening, and appreciates it deeply when you open up to him about stuff. he knows it can be hard more than anyone
tries to get you into hobbies to take your mind off of bad thoughts, like gardening and drawing. anytime you come over he takes you to the garden to water and weed the plants while chatting about your day
gives you drawings and notes, even in class!! they read little encouraging quotes or just compliments in hopes of making your day a little better :)
he knows he can't help you in every way, but he's very open with you and tries his best to be there and be the best friend he can be!!!
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creativenicocorner · 5 months
Text
2023 Writing Retrospective
That time of, hehe, New Year again folks, to contemplate over the rollercoaster event that was my writing journey of 2023!
I'm surprised by how much I did end up writing more than anything! And how some projects bloomed larger than I would have previously imagined. I'd like to think I've improved as well, which is inevitable made by practicing of course. I'm happier with how I write, despite knowing it isn't perfect (then again nothing is lol)
Trying the NaNoWriMo for the first time really changed things up in my approach I think, I'd like to try giving myself more of a disciplined approach to writing a little every day, even if it's one word...but I also realized just how tired I felt after November...so a soft middle ground will probably have to be found. I might try to use the website for other projects and set the deadline for far longer than just a month...we'll see!
I am happy that I'm not as disappointed with my own writing as I was with it last year...perhaps that too is a part of my growth as a writer. Could I have written more? Sure, but I've been far more wary of pushing myself and getting burned out last year. I need to remember to pace myself, to be kind, and that sometimes writing is just loafing about and doing other things and projects - and then the next thing you know WHAM 200 words pop in your head!
Anyways let's look at those cold hard numbers!!
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2023 Total number of..
User Subscriptions: 17 Kudos: 341 Comment Threads: 61 Bookmarks: 81 Subscriptions: 70 Word Count: 107,804 Hits: 5,054
Top five hits/fics of 2023:
Glow Worms or rather: In the Depths of the Safflower Hills
Cold Green Tea and Colder Feet
Refrigerator Problem
Hand Rolled
Chapped Lips
2024 Goals
Honestly? To keep trying to make each new chapter / fic seem a little better than the last. Keep the progress going, while still remembering to be patient with myself (I'm not very patient with myself ^^;; )
I know I mention this often, but I'd like to attempt writing a multi-chaptered fic in its entirety before posting chapters...just once! Just to see what it is like. We'll see, we'll see... I'm not like in a hurry haha
I'd like to try and finish some of my Discworld Multi-chaptered fics...perhaps I'll use one of them in this theory, just to test it out. I'd love to get a new The Runaway's Gamble chapter out (or finish the fic this year, but I'm being soft with my goals this year) as well as get another Trial Runs and Errors chapter out (perhaps even finish the fic to start working on the next one in the Maurice and Lipwig series of shenanigans and adventures)
We'll see where my attention and heart takes me, cause it'd also be nice to get Glow Worms and Refrigerator Problem done
And yet I have so many other projects I'd like to jump into, like a Serizawa-centric serirei fic, or to finish Chapped Lips
I mean I know there's no rule in having to finish something before starting something else...technically I AM kind of working on them despite not posting anything...perhaps this is a way I could give that "finish the whole fic before posting it" a shot, or at least an attempt haha
I hope my quality continues to improve - but most of all I hope things become a little better.
If 2023 has taught me one thing, it's: let myself be surprised. And you know? I'd like to keep that energy moving forward into 2024
Thank you for reading this far!
I hope 2024 is kinder to us all than the last year, and we all grow and getting a little closer to our goals and dreams and happiness. Who knows where we'll be this time next year, hopefully it'll be a little better than today.
Anywho, stay awesome out there - don't forget to be kind to yourself and others.
And be safe
Best wishes!
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gumnut-logic · 3 months
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🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
::rolls up sleeves and brainstorms all over the keyboard::
If you want to do it, do it. Don't hide. Everyone had to start somewhere (wanna see my first ever fic? I was 18 and the internet did not exist, also, it was really badly written; you can find my second ever written fic here - its TOS Trek). We've all been there and we are all learning. Don't be scared, Thunderfam at least is here to support. For you fanartists out there, check out How I learnt Portraiture and then check out this post to prove that I can paint, honestly, really I can :D
If you do encounter negativity - block/ban. In fandom, if you can't say something nice, shut up and go away. Don't like, don't read, and mind your own business. I'm all for self curating your online experience. The only time constructive criticism is polite is when you know the person and they've asked. Like I have several members of Thunderfam I come screaming to while writing with the question, does this suck? These are my sanity checkers - Gavii, unfortunately you have taken on this mantle and suffer on a fairly regular basis. Nutty by name and nature.
Works in Progress - anyone who has known me here at all knows I leave a wake of WiPs behind me. Some I get back to, some, not so much (I promise to pull Alex out from under that building, I do!). WiPs are part of the way an artist works (I have so many in so many media, omigod). Because fanfic is published close to the leading edge of creation, its gonna happen. Fanfic is written for fun, after all. The key is to not let them beat you up in the head. Yes, there is unfinished stuff, but it doesn't mean you can't write something else in the meantime. Don't let it stop your muse. I am notorious for unfinished stuff and the real world hates it. But this isn't the real world, THIS IS FOR FUN. I know the marketing theories and the regularity of posting and popularity and what is at stake if either not enough is published regularly or if too much unfinished stuff disappoints the reader. But again, if you let the WiPs hang around your neck too much and badger you, they will drown you. It will become a job, a burden, something you hate. So don't pressure yourself. Work with your muse and see what you can wrangle out of it...at your own pace. You might be surprised what works.
The Terry Pratchett method - I don't know if it is true or not, but there is a post flying around Tumblr somewhere that claims Terry Pratchett, famous author, only aimed to write 400 words a day. This is something I have found extremely useful. If you want to write something, don't set the bar too high so you fail. Set it at a reachable level, even 200 words or 100 words. Honestly the hardest part is actually sitting down and starting. Before you know it you will have passed your low goal and blown it out of the water 3000 words later (my highest number of words in one day was 7000 - I tend to edit as I go, so it slows me down). Rarely do we have an entire day we can write, cos life keeps getting in the way. So do it in little bits. I'm doing this method with my crochet at the moment. Lots of little bits make big bits. This is how I've written many of my longer fics. Heh, I used to have fifteen minutes in the car before work, so I'd pull up on the side of the road and write as much as I could in that time. Sometimes having a limited time helps with that as well.
But the biggest thing you can do to improve your writing is to get to know yourself very well. I'm on the autism spectrum and likely have some forms of ADHD or Executive Dysfunction (I literally cried the day I found out it had a name as to why I couldn't finish things). It's taken me years to work out how to get work out of myself. How to avoid fighting myself (a fight I never win). To learn what works best for me and how I can herd the cats in my brain into them doing what I need them to do. Find out what makes you tick. Find out what sparks your muse, what way best enables you to write. Try different times of the day, different places, bribe yourself, time limit yourself, lock the family out of the room, go to the beach, write on paper, go mobile, write on your phone, scribble notes, anything that can get your brain doing what you want it to do. Sometimes reading fic can do it, showers and manual work are great for idea sparking - let the brain idle and it comes up with all sorts of interesting things. Very late night writing can be a doozy of a trip :D Find what works then do it - until it changes and you have to find it again because yes, my brain does that too, drat it.
And that is probably enough babbling from me :D I need to go find Virgil and a pick up with his name on it...or Gordon's...it's still gelling in my brain :D
I hope this helps someone, even just a tiny bit. Writing is hard work, don't let it drown you. Also, we all have up and down days, just because something sucks today, doesn't mean it will feel the same tomorrow. Never give up, never surrender, and if you do give up on one thing....ooh, look there's another one to play with.
Thank you for asking ::squishy hugs you lots::
Nutty
(who despite this will still have days where the writing will not work...in which case, I'm gonna do something else for a bit until brain decides it wants to play....stupid brain, do it on demand, you pile of goop)
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daisys-reality · 6 months
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Hello! I hope your having a good day/night. I was wondering If I could possibly have a short love message from my DR S/O's? I completely understand if you don't want to or can't. Ok, here we go...
The DR I'm currently trying to shift to has multiple S/O's for my polyamorous heart. If you don't feel comfy with this than that's perfectly fine. But if you do could I possibly have a message from all of them? It could be collective or individual, as I'm not sure wich one's you would do. I saw the rule of only one questions per ask so I didn't know if polyam questions were aloud. Anyways this is kinda embarrassing but I'm shifting to a universe were I'm dating all of class 1-A from MHA (No mineta, he's replaced by Shinso). 18+ message is fine.
Even if you don't end up doing it I am very grateful that you took the time to read this. I wish you the best of days and a good rest. ♡
(there is nothing embarrassing, it's your reality, don't worry 🤍 i like mha, it must be rly fun there :) fyi, i will do a slightly different layout for this as it's about more than one person)
❊ TAROT & SELF MADE MESSAGE CARDS & CHANNELING:
"You're so cute and so precious." + "I'm sorry if I look scary/intimidating. I don't want you to feel scared around me. Please don't shy away from me." (- big dork that looks scary ?? maybe a little clumsy in the way they behave around you)
"These feelings are so new to me. I don't know what to do with them. I feel like an idiot in front of your eyes..." + "I just want to embrace you in a tight hug. I feel like that would take all my burdens away..." ( - they seem like someone with mommy issues and you have this caring energy about you which they unconsciously desire badly but it also confuses them A LOT)
"I would do anything for you. I'm so grateful that you let me have some of your time. I won't disappoint you." (- a total simp lmao, very eager and energetic)
"Sigh...you..I- I don't know what to say. I've never seen someone so perfect. I don't understand what you see in me honestly...like...man, am I even good enough for you??" (- the type to avoid your eyes or maybe even give you awkwardly the cold shoulder because they don't know how to function around you but they think/daydream 24/7 about you, they could be on the smaller side or they just put you on a pedestal)
"Deep down I'm afraid of your reaction rejection..." + "Am I too rough? Do I come off too strong?...I'm sorry..." + "You make me crazy...I want you all to myself but...I know that's not possible." ( - someone slightly aggressive, intense, desperate and wild even...? easily jealous too)
"My past still hunts me, please be patient." + "You're gorgeous...all of you." - (someone very composed, graceful and kinda cool)
"You're so attractive inside out. You're perfect for me." *obsessive mood activated lol* + "Behind closed doors I fantasize a lot about you." + "You're all I want." (- someone with a high s*x drive i guess haha no but seriously they could be someone stubborn who is not very flexible about how they go about things)
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𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬
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hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...
(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....
also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.
i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.
i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....
i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.
(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)
sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better
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bookishfeylin · 3 months
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Hello! I hope you are doing well :)
(I needed help from a translator to write this, I apologize for the errors that this text will probably have)
Firstly, I would like to express my admiration for you. I cultivated it through reading the criticisms so well placed by you about the universe of ACOTAR.
I, having had a very intense relationship with reading over the years, was starting to despair after reading the first three ACOTAR books because I felt very alone when I realized that apparently there were almost no real critical analyzes (that I had found) about this book saga. It was then that I found Tumblr and, along with it, some very interesting profiles that talked about what I wanted to talk about. Yours was one of them.
My experience with ACOTAR is quite complex. When I first heard about it (given its growing fame), I loved the plot, as I love reading fantasy. I cultivated expectations on my own, but I also place this on fame and people's enthusiasm (and hatred) for some characters that I will later mention. So I read it… and damn, I was so disappointed after the second book. I fell off the horse completely, as some would say here where I live. I couldn't believe how SJM started to fail so much with the entire initial proposal of the books and how she managed to fail in developing characters and plots with so much potential. Furthermore, the romanticization of abuses, retcons, plot holes, catchphrases to deceive readers, narratives conflicting with actions, failure to make clear the biased narrative... among many other things. But one of the things that shocked me the most was how, to this day, many people fail to see certain FACTS and the FAULTS in all of this, their only reactions when these are pointed out are irrational responses in defense of this created illusion. Rhysand is the most disappointing character I've ever read in my life, perhaps because I see the potential that could be used in him, Sarah's true protagonist (this is just one of the things that completely annoy me about the author and, consequently, the character).
I could cite MANY examples of the flaws I mentioned, as you mentioned throughout your posts, but one thing that really bothers me is the way the characters and the fandom itself treat Nesta, trapped in the blind illusion that everything that IC does is the right thing, since that's what they think and say. It's really disgusting. I don't know why in the world I deluded myself into thinking that Nesta being the protagonist of Silver Flames would improve anything by knowing her critical perspective on the IC and things in general, since she is not very influential and very observant. I honestly don't know why I did this to myself, knowing what SJM did with the previous books.
Tamlin and Nesta are sensitive points for me, being the main characters that led me to, in fact, have an increasingly critical view of these books (they were my critical awakening). I realized that one of the main common points that makes me upset is the way Rhysand deals with them, just like he deals with anyone: the way he wants, without reprimands (sometimes it's even encouraged). As if it were his right.
I understand that Rhysand's relationship with each of them has different complex layers, especially with Tamlin as it is a story that has been developing for much longer and is something personal to Rhysand AND Tamlin (in contrast to Nesta, who had never done anything for him), although there are very superficial mentions of it in proportion to how much Rhys gets involved and returns to it throughout the books (some would say that he simply needs to have Tamlin in his life constantly because of the way he always finds a way to mention it him or go see him, he can't let go). I have A LOT of things to say about this, but I'm summarizing.
About Nesta, someone very young in comparison and who was hated by Rhys before he even met her. He didn't even give her a chance to observe her a little or ask her anything. I would think he should be intelligent and more mature because of his age and how he likes to show that he knows how to handle things, but that's not what his actions show in most of the books.
Sometimes I think he picks on Nesta and Tamlin so much because they are the only ones who actually stand up to him, question him and throw his actions in his face. They don't accept his stance easily and they have the courage to respond accordingly. They are the big stones in his expensive and nocturne shoes.
I'm not going to start talking too much about Feyre per se, but I would like to point out that I hate with all my mental strength the daemati shipp feysand and I hope in a childish way that they fictionally read this in my mind. In my view, they have absolutely nothing good or remotely interesting to add and develop from each other. Rhysand calls them equals in every way, but he always knows things and chooses what to say to her as is convenient for him. He tells her she has a choice, but he is the only one who provides the options he wants her to choose. Feyre stopped questioning, she believes anything he says from the start. She even stopped analyzing her own actions. He gives her a false appearance of power and she pretends that she knows how to use it. On the first opportunity to introduce her to the CoN, he undermines any kind of respect they could develop for her, whether through fear (as stupid and lame as that may be) or what. Her personality was an ocean and since she started dating Rhys, the ocean had become a shallow puddle of mud. It seems that the trend is getting worse, seeing as how SJM has been showing us who her main character is. Feyre was a means to the end, nothing about her position in this saga was constructed in a decent way, unfortunately. Rhys does what he wants and doesn't have the limits he should have, bringing this to Feyre when in Summer he tells Tarquin that she does whatever she wants, without thinking about the consequences, just because she carries a title that Rhys gave to her. She can do what she wants because HE is saying so. It's not about Feyre, as the catchphrase makes it seem. This is not a moment taken to glorify her in front of others. At this moment Rhysand wants to show and prove his power to another male who should have the same authority as him, Tarquin. This guy's ego, seriously.
Anyway, amidst so many opinions about the things I'm curious to know, I'd like to ask what you think is the REAL reason for Rhys' growing dislike towards Nesta (and Tamlin too, if you want. I I don't buy the superficiality with which the whole thing about the murder of their families was told, but that's just me pondering). And the possibilities surrounding Nesta and Rhysand's complex relationship, expectations and even what you would have changed. If you want to respond, of course.
Today I found myself reflecting on this specifically and I'm still putting things together in my head, so I decided to share this question with you.
This “message” was much longer than I expected, I ended up getting carried away and had to stop myself from saying more. At this point, I don't even judge if you haven't read it, hehe. I appreciate it anyway if you read any part of this.
Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your analysis. I feel so represented with them! I will continue to follow you here, XD
Xx, Tess
Awwww I got teary reading this message! Thank you so much, Tess! And I agree with so much of what you’ve said here! This book series crumbles under the slightest bit of analysis, and I’m glad so many of us have started to realize that. I’m glad you feel represented here and ill definitely continue to be here :)
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