Obstagoon, Weavile, and Toxtricity ko-fi doodle for shinekittenace!

I’m accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests here! ✨

can u pls do one of shigaraki w a s/o who is a huge music lover like jirou?? they love to collect cds, vinyls, and infodump on their fav album/singer?

|| WITH A S/O THAT LOVES MUSIC ||

Back at it I am! I was trying to find the time to write this one for so long, honestly. It's kinda longer than my usual works, but heh, I was inspired. Hope ya'll like it xoxoxo

Pairings: Tomura Shigaraki × reader

Tomura had never really cared about anyone's hobbies at the League as, you know, they were nothing more than chess pieces to him. Also, getting involved in the private life of any of the League members was an unnecessary exposure to the risks those weirdos liked to commit to. Generally, everyone sticked to the "I mind my business, you mind yours" rule.

But god, seeing you walk around always wearing your headphones had him dying to know what you were listening to.

It took him some time to work out the courage to ask you what kind of music you were into, he even tried to ask Twice and Dabi before, but they just shrugged at his question.

"Rap?" he asked you one day.

"What?" you asked back at him, removing one of your headphones.

"I, uh, you look like someone who listens to rap. That's all."

"Actually, right now it's more like rock," you chuckled, "but rap is fine too. I mean, it really depends on the mood you are in, right?"

"Uh-huh," nodded Shigaraki. You had never seen him this interested in something so trivial.

"D'you... wanna hear it?" The question came natural to you, though you weren't expecting him to nod as he tucked his hair behind his ears to wear your headphones better. He listened to the whole song before you dared to ask him whether he liked it or not, and he nodded again. "Really? I'm glad you do! It's actually one of my favorite albums, like, you gotta listen to it. I got the vinyl too if you want to! Tho I also listen to other genres and I can tell you, as I already said, it depends on the mood and-" You stopped, and Tomura gave you a puzzled look. It wasn't his usual, cold, inquiring glare, but more one of genuine curiosity.

"Am I talking too much?" You felt like you were monopolizing the conversation, and your boss wasn't usually one to sit on the edge of a conversation and listen to others' opinion.

To your surprise, he shook his head: "Wasn't I the one asking you about it after all?"

Shigaraki quickly brought his hands to his head to take off the headphones, but the blue plastic they were made of started turning into black ashes under the touch of his fingers.

"ohhh fuck!" You only had time to unplug them from your phone before the decay reached the end of the wire.

"Fuck!" The boy took a step back and patted off his sweater, as a small pile of dark ashes gathered on the ground.

"It wasn't on purpose, I was just taking them off. I'll bring you a new pair. Is your phone ok?" You huffed. "Yeah, it's fine. I have another pair in my room, so don't bother."

"No, really." Tomura reached for your hand, before pulling it back. He stared at his knees, then he looked back at you: "I'm bringing you a new pair." You gave him a small smile.

"How about the vinyl? Could we really listen to it? I promise I won't touch it."

"Shiggy babyyy," Toga's voice reached you from the other room: "Gotta raid an arm deposit in ten mins. You with us right?"

"I love how this sounds like a normal request to you," you joked to Tomura.

He chuckled and quickly walked out of the room "Gonna be back soon. With your headphones. Not gonna decay those ones."

masterlist

taglist: @liberace2 @whiteusagi   @help-idk-what-my-life-is @comehome2myheart @peachysuguru   @iam-mentally-unstable

tell me if you want to be added!

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The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

Can I ask you a few questions?

What would Melkor have done if Sav had turned out better than expected?

Also, did mairon suffer from labor pains when she gave birth to Sav? When I saw how small baby Sav , I was wondering if he had labor pains.

I'm currently translating the part where Myron is trying to escape with Sav (sorry for the delay).

Melkor is horrible, he has no love for his child (i.e. Sav)!

Myron, by contrast, is loving and I hope that he and Sav will one day have a warm relationship.

Take it easy and keep up the good work!

Melkor intendet Sav to be a powerful servant surpassing even Kosomoth (or Gothmog depending what version you read). But when he turned out too weak for his liking he cast him aside, considering him a failure. Tbh he would probably still be a shit dad if he had found bby Sav to his liking :/

About Mairon... as the master of torture and overall body horror he is probably fine (even tho it hurt like shit)

I hope that answers your questions ^w^ I´m glad you like the comic. I´m also really excited for the Sauron-mom + Sav dynamic in furute chapters  

\(^o^)/

Also these are just my thoughts on these things. I left them kind of ambiguous in the comic so If anyone wants to interpret them differently feel free to.

KAPP'N BACK!!!

OH MY GOD HARRIET??????

oooo its a place to have aconsitent way to get all the little shop guys

YOOOO ITS THE BEST COUPLE

KATRINA!!!!!!!!

TORTIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay this is finally a good fucking uhhhh update.

also not hitting post cuz of how im watching lmao. juts one big list.

omg grup shit this is so cute. finally. some actual new content.

ISLAND ORDIENCES THANK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously this is like. actually a solid amount of content instead of just 1 thing and

COOKING?????????????????????????? YO?????????????????????

oh fuck November 5th come soon. also I sdidn'tay anything about the roost cafe cuz we already knew hat was coming.

sorry for typos this keyboard is smaller than I'm used to and

CEILING ITEMS LETS GOooooooooooo

I'm not looking at my tumblr tab so I can read the captions.

OH MY GOD MORE CAMERA OPTIONS

seriously they finally got their shit together with this update. and its all free. thank you Nintendo. mwah. took u long enough lol.

yooo outdoor storage or something? ooo and a moveable attm.

NEW KK SONGS? POG?

GTROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

holy shit this deadas feels like the update acnh fans have been waiting for. I'm glad it turned out I could watch this live ld ha hated to be spoilerdveI wou.

only thing that could make it better would be more new villagers.

ayyy visiting has returned!

wait. last major free one? i guess it makes sense they'd go all out then.

wait, is this one last surprise? work???????

OH MY GOD HAPPY HOME BUT AS PAID DLC??/

oh fuck whos that cute lil monkey. also were there some new villagers or did I juts not recognize them? or maybe old ones being brought back? i heard rumors about that happening.

bruh this is going on longer than I expected help, I need to do my actual school work. oh well I have open periods later.

sorry if this is incomprehensible but also not really. but holy shit this DLC looks like it will deffo be worth whatever price it has.

hahah tho when this gonna end. girl help I want to be a decent student.

oh my god they were roommates.

tbh I loved the first happy home but it juts felt weak as its own game so I'm glad its DLC this time.

you know one thing that makes me sad is when I reset my island I didn't realize ldI w lose all the friends I had ou,

oh my god the twins just vibing <3

you can remodel your residents homes now. oh my god. so many people are gonna be happy with this.

oh shit I just realized I let mira move out. shes packing today. i gotta say bye to her later today.

please say they're almost done I have classwork to do girl.

oh fuck so there were new villagers? yo????

okay time to get off tumblr and be a good student.

thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book  😀 😀 😀 😀  

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.  

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT  MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

--

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???) 

(1/?) Anxious about pets anon here! Thank you for your reply, I adapted all your tips and already feel better :) In my first ask I almost talked about my situation sounding a bit hoarderish but didn't to keep it short but I realized I prolly should've! So I'm gonna explain myself a bit better now that I'm calm, I'll try to keep this short but I have a tendency to ramble so I apologize for the length in advance. Also gonna call myself 🌱 from now on since Anxious about pets anon is a bit long!!

(2/?) Normally getting two geckos and turts in a couple weeks is definitely a red flag and if I saw someone do that I'd definitely side-eye them. I do not support getting so many animals this fast at all which is why it freaked me out so badly and it's something I never want to do/experience again. I find preparing and caring for a new (species of) pet for the first few weeks very stressful to begin with, so doing so for multiple species simultaneously with little to no warning has been awful.

(3/?) However the reason I ended up in the situation at all was because I had seen a post online about a leopard gecko that was for sale enclosure & supplies included for fairly cheap, so I opened it for fun. Turned out the geck was actually in my area and the set up was not... Very good. So I talked with the seller and came to the conclusion I could take him as my own leo struggles to keep up with the phase my feeders breed anyway so I had the means to do so

(4/?) All is good, I'm getting a leo (picking him up this weekend). No biggie, except oh no. I find a morph of created gecko I have been looking for & I've had an empty set up waiting for this moment for ages. I'm a bit put off by the timing as I don't really like the idea of buying two pets in such a little amount of time, but it's too late for I have fallen in love and I justify getting him bc I've been prepared for this for a long time and it also happened to be my birthday that day. 

(5/?) Still, took a bit of a hit from it and looking back I would still classify it as an impulse buy as I had not expected to run into the crestie that day even if I had been prepared for a while. This has also been the first time I haven't waited 12+ months between purchasing animals which planted the seed of anxiety in me and the word "hoarder" did cross my mind a couple times but I ignored it, mostly because I knew I'm not one and thought it was silly to think that, but also cuz it scared me 

(6/?) Fast forward a few days I'm talking with the leo seller again. I ask why they're getting rid of it and they tell me they're quitting the hobby so they're rehoming everyone. In curiosity I ask what other animals do they keep and we talk about it for a bit till they say "everyone else already has a home except this baby turtle, no one wants him". I have no interest in getting a turtle, but like a fool & out of wanting to be educated I ask about the species as I'm not very familiar with turts

(7/?) I thought I made it clear I'm not going to take him before the chat but as the 'educational' convo went on the seller was actually picking apart my reasons why not & as pets are a special interest of mine I engaged very enthusiasticly w/o realising. At the end of the chat they said "I'm glad they're both going to a good home". I had missed two of my latest therapy sessions & have severe difficulty telling people no so I replied with "I'm just trying to help" & had a panic attack.

(8/?) It was too late to back down now so I'm getting a turtle. But with that what I was getting as well was more anxious and I spent the next day in bed, which helped. I opened up about it to a close friend, and instead of them reassuring me they told me they've been meaning to ask me if I could take a tortoise (that turned out to be a turtle as well) out of their friends hands. I said Im not sure if this is the right time, and my friend asked me to think about

(9/?) I ask my friend why does this turtle need a home anyway, he tells me the owners travel a lot and that the turtle is loved but neglected. I felt sad. My friend knows how I'm gonna react if someone comes to me directly to ask for help, especially if it's about a suffering animal. I grind my teeth & talk with the owners telling them I'll see what I can do, then I get a text telling me my friend has already made a plan how to deliver the 100g aquarium to my apartment.

(10/?) Even when I may not have wanted the turtles I'm glad if I get to make their lives more enjoyable. I will give them my everything and do my best to provide a good home for them. Tho it does hurt me my discomfort is secondary to other people when they know I will agree to things as long as they apply enough pressure, especially when I'm already vulnerable, but I suppose it's my fault too for not communicating well enough and for allowing them to take advantage of my difficulties

(11/11) Sorry this turned out a LOT longer than expected!! You don't have to post it I just wanted to let you know I didn't just wake up one day and decide to expand my family by half, but that it was more of a gradual process that I found myself unable to stop even when I wanted to, & will work with my therapist so I can be prepared for these situations in the future. Thank you again for the advice, it has helped me feel better! Ps. I will update when all the pets are here and settled down! -🌱

I hope you don’t mind me posting, I wanted to share your story with others, especially in case anyone was still worrying about the situation!

I’m sorry that you had so many people stomp all over your boundaries, especially your friend. That was super not cool of them. :/ I understand having difficulty saying no, especially when you’re wanting to help animals - I have issues with that too. I’m glad that you’re so aware of the problem & that you have a plan to work on it though!

Also I wanted to add one more bit of advice - keep in mind that you do not have to be the forever home for every one of these animals. Especially if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or having difficulty with care. You have to take care of yourself as well as the animals. I know turtles can be a fair amount of work and money to set up well, and while I know you said you’re up for the challenge, I just want to make sure you give yourself some room to breathe. If you do find that you’ve taken on more than you can deal with, it’s okay to look into options for rehoming some of the animals, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. I can definitely vouch for the experience of finding yourself in over your head & needing to take a step back and find a better place for a pet, even when it’s really hard! I know these words might not be necessary, but I just wanted to make sure someone said them, in case you needed to hear it. ♥

Thank you for the update and further explanation, and I hope everyone settles in well! I look forward to more updates if/once you’re able to do so. :) 

Episode 4 - “I'm tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji." - Matt S

So naturally I’m panicking because I’m so sure I’m going to warzone, and the last thing I wanna do is be the swap vote out. I’m enjoying the Ma’an Tribe and just being able to talk to people, especially Kait and Owen. So far I only have individual conversations but maybe tribal will actually allow me to make alliances. I hate saying that cause I would never ask to go to tribal unless I really had to.

Challenge update. I think i have decent scores. Will they keep me from the bottom 5? Who knows but im trying my best. Im trying hard in the first game because i think thats the lowest score. Also FUCK multitask. That is very hard. I just want to be safe this round and figure shit out with Nehe, Stephen, and Trace. I have a little rant about Nehe coming up soon. 🤭 Oo I wanted to scream to Renee not to say anything till the votes were read. I knew she was gunna say something when it was a 3-3 tie and she unmuted. It was a big MOOD tho. I just hope she is able to stay safe. I do trust her a lot.

So we recently switched and I still don't know who is on my tribe lol. I am still with Kait which is great! I am with Owen, Stevie and Madison who I spoke to briefly, Matt who I just met, Chloe who I have always wanted to meet, and some new faces such as Timmy, Renee, and Jacob. I always love a tribe with a bit of everything.

Hello diary room how are you? I am making money moves. Connecting to my “tribe” members. Even Trace. The only bitch i don’t care to be friends w is Maynor bc he stinks of Renee’s brainwash. As we all know, Renee hates me and wants me out etc etc. I am doing what I can to protect myself if I end up going to tribal. All i can hope for is that, if renee is at tribal, maynor isn’t as I would have 4 who would have my back from my tribe. That’s 5 votes. If I can get Matt or Madison or someone else on the other tribe to come with, it’s Au Revoir René. I don’t think I’ll be immune as I only had about 3 hours to work on these 5 flashgames but who knows. I trust Adrian. I hate to say that but I do! I quite like Ian and want to trust him but it’ll take time. I believe Devon has my best interest at heart. Okay that’s all for today x

- - -

Just played Axon and I hate this game soooooo much. I play Minecraft all day and spam click all the time but this game is gonna give me carpal tunnel I sware. My arm hurts so much. I guess it’s time to go to multitask

I have been trying to beat my scores in these flash games and i cant. I dont think they are good enough to keep me from the bottom 5. I’m really nervous to be in warzone with people i havent worked with before. Jshdiw i hope i couls find that idol tonight. Ill feel better if I have it in my hands. Nehe rant. So like he said he was down to work with me and have my back. And once again for some reason has happened again. He lied to me about voting for doodle (also willing to do Stevie) because he voted for Renee, my partner! His reasoning was cuz he told me that he was told thats were the majority was so even tho he told me he trust mr, he didnt believe me when insaid that it was going to be doodle when it switched. He still wantsbto work with me so thats good and i have leverage i culd use because he told me he wanted trace gone so i could throw him under the bus if i feel like i cant trust him. Idk if i should be upset about this cuz ppl liebin survivor but in this twist trust is way more important now than in a regular season.

Immunity or tribal it doesn't matter the game presses on. The benefit of immunity is to just build relationships with people without the risk of going home or burning my idol(side note fuck all you bitches when you inevitably turn against me an make me burn my favorite piece of jewelry). Corey has really grown on me, talk game of thrones with me and I'm alliance putty in your hands! I was happy to see Maynor again, I feel there is something there that can be fostered,  Cullan is a bit of an ignima to me still. I'll crack him though one way or another. Trace and I have begun chatting so I'm still up in the air on him and really most my tribe and people in this game. I honestly expected to be on the low end of scores for this challenge but I wasn't? Idk, double elimination means retrograde and please, please don't let it be Chloe vs Willow, I want them both to stick around and be valuable allies. If they can't keep the votes off them then as Walder Frey once said, " I'll find another."

This warzone where 2 people are leaving is just not cute. I was not happy when I saw that. I knew I was going to be here because I did each of the flash games like once or twice and called it a day so I knew I was going to be here and I accepted that. When I saw who else was there I thought "okay, I think I can probably find people to vote with and stay safe this time around" and then BAM it's a double elimination with the vote and it totally changes the strategy of the vote. Could be more difficult to navigate. All I know is that I need to step up my social game because I haven't chatted much with people and I need to start building relationships so if I end up here again I have people that have my back. I am just struggling with the idea of working with Nehe. Longevity I don't think I want to do. Short term, sure. But I don't think I want to deal with that for the whole game. Been there, done that and I am over it. I was talking to Adrian last night and my god that was an infuriating conversation. Adrian had no idea how the warzone was operating because he hadn't been there and I just wanted to say "sis, read an effing post you lazy ass and it will make sense" It's not that hard to understand, it is just different from normal. I just hate when people don't know things because they don't want to read a post. Going back to this double elimination tribal; it is really hard to choose two targets. Being on tribes that don't seem to matter because we get scored individually makes it almost a moot point to target people for poor challenge strength because it is a pretty individual game. I guess that would be incentive to get out strong challenge performers but all of those people won so again, not a good strategy. Also everyone has just encountered different people and no one is being put together with the same people as someone else so there are a bunch of different dynamics between players, more varied than normal because we aren't forced to interact with the same people for an extended period of time. These votes have just been a lot more nerve wracking than votes normally are and making it out alive feels like more of a feat than normal. I'd say I like the extra challenge to step up the strategy because it's different, but I honestly don't. I don't need this extra anxiety about votes, no thank you. I just hope I survive this!

New tribes yay... I miss maynor and it’s overwhelming to actually be forced to talk to more than one person lmao. But other than that it’s good and I’m safe and immune and so far everyone here seems cool... even if I can’t trust anyone because of those 3 votes I got last tribal!!!! Doodle and Stephen and maybe nehe better watch OUT

Now that the game has finally sped up a little bit, I'm excited because I feel like I can actually play the game more. I am also ECSTATIC that I am not at this double tribal thing, because that sounds stressful and I know that avoiding it completely was the best case scenario for my game right now. I really really like Corey. Him and I have hit it off and I can see us working together really well deep into the game. I'm glad that he is safe this round too because he is probably the person I am closest to on this tribe of people I am kind of afraid of. Ian came to me and started talking as well, but something just doesn't sit well with me about him. He blew everyone out of the water in the challenge, so that will have to be something I need to think about down the line when I decide who I want to vote out. Nehemiah talked to me a lot before he went into the war zone, trying to apologize to me about voting Renee. He made it seem like I was withholding information from him which could not be further from the truth. Classic erratic Nehe again making shit up and trying to pin it on me. I want his ass out and I want it out soon. I feel like I finally have some footing in this game. Timmy and I are tight, Corey and I are tight, and I made good relationships with Renee, Madison, and Owen in the last war zone. Hopefully if I do end up going to the war zone again I'll be able to have at least a few people to work with, because right now I don't feel very comfortable on my tribe if this game were normal and we voted each other out.

I am feeling FUCKEN PAN-tastic!! I was working last night so just read the post quickly and it said I was in the Warzone. I felt really sad and nervous but there was an error and I was actually immune. I was so happy that work didnt suck. It was a double too so Im super duper happy that I didnt end up going to tribal. I need to talk more to Ian because Me and him are talking most than others. Im also talking to Trace since he is Timmy’s partner and I want to work with him. Ive been talking to Corey for a bit. I need to make stronger connections while im safe so I can rely on them to want to work with me in the future warzones.

I am so happy to be safe this round! I'm kind of just glossing over the tribe swap because it's barely like we're on tribes since we're competing against them. Just hoping it's 2 from the other tribe gone so that way we still have 5 people to be safe. But also it'll probably be 1 and 1. Either way someone is coming back because retrograde is activated every round 2 people leave so that's going to be interesting. Them and Nehe can start a club...unless it's Nehe again lol. Honestly let it be Nehe again because it means he won't win in the end. Like who would vote for the person who was voted out twice, once has happened, but twice, idk if people would respect that. It would be he hasn't been playing a good game since it was easy to take him out. I'm just excited that I don't have to attend tribal and I can talk to people without the stress of making plans. Matt and I have been talking and he's pretty cool. He is definitely someone I can see myself working with since he's easy to talk to so far.

Well this twist is proving chaotic as it was intended. It appears we have a split but who the hell onows with this round. I do feel a little vulnerable with short repossess from some. I mean anyone could go home tonight.

i will write something longer when I'm home but I'm shook???? that I won the flash game thing. Matt is my fave and I hope my boring Scorpio person goes home thx

Do I trust that these people are gonna give me the correct information when its only 15 minutes before tribal? Not for a fucking MOMENT! But I haven't heard my name and people are like swimming between 2 names and I love both of them equally. Like this is sooooo hard. No me gusta.

I got meself an alliance AND I somehow still haven’t gone to tribal... why am I more stressed now than I was before??? I think the fact that the game is becoming super real is what’s making me really nervous, and as much as having a solid 3 with Owen and Kait makes me extremely happy, considering I trust them more than I’ve trusted an alliance in most games, there’s still so much game left to be played, and I remember in Solomon getting swapped away from my allies and it screwing me over.... I’m shaky!

Oop. Tribal is going to be soon. I wonder who the two that will be going. I just hope it isnt someone Ive been talking to. 2 people will be leaving so i think its going to trigger retrograde and one will be back.This warzone is really messing up strategy in this game.

I missed two round confessionals which suck but to quickly basically sum what y’all missed. I formed the voters pact that plan was throw challenges to get to the warzone but that in it self failed cause they didn’t all throw and then doodle was voted off the next round. I also kinda got lied to about the vote so like boo. This round  in the warzone I kinda like this batch and it’s now how do we navigate the double vote out thing. I have a personal vendetta with Adrian cause I don’t trust him and Chloe is basically a non factor . So the plan since last night was always to go for those two it was just how do we go about it. I decided to make a group of 5 because it made it easier for them to willingly “choose” who they wanted to vote. And thankfully we lead them into voting chloe and Adrian. Now it’s just navigating who votes who and if the plan stays the plan. Fucking Devon is chaotic switching shit. He tried to switch the vote to willow to succumb to Thomas but who gives a fuck what Thomas is voting. I just care about the finale vote tally. I’m afraid definitely if it’s gonna be me for the fact that I don’t want to go back to the retrogade but it can easily be me. Like personally I feel like I’m always able to get people to groove in the direction I want but then I let them mingle and shit happens. I always make sure to have a hand in with everyone sonthey don’t want to turn on me but really the people I truly trust is stevie, Devon and maybe Stephen. Stephen is weirding me out shady vibes but we’ll see.

Immunity never tasted so good! I need Adrian to be safe. I need Madison and Jacob to be safe bc I think they’re at tribal? I would like Renee and Maynor gone but they’re both safe boo hoo. I am socializing w everyone. I love Trace, Adrian, Ian. I would like Cullan gone sooner rather than later as he is hard to socialize with but I like his partner, Willow. That being said, I think everyone likes Willow. Her leaving wouldn’t be the worst thing tonight but I do stan.

I have no sins I’m literally just sitting !!!! Kisses!!!!! Made an alliance with Matt and Kait. But you know how this is gonna turn out....? Kait and Matt are gonna get closer and at some point she will pick HIM over ME!!!! Heksjd this CYS flashback. But for now I like them. Glad that Timmy and madison are on my tribe even tho Timmy considered voting stevie.... speaking of Stevie zzzz boy rlly almost didn’t save himself Lol. But yeah I’m happy the game has shaken up and I’m excited to see what happens at this tribal. I need to really step my social game up tho so I have numbers when I’m down in that bottom ten

I’m tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji

It sucked thay Willow went. Hopefully she is able to come back because I feel like i had a good connection with her. Madison and Stephen survived so that was good. Right now Im hoping that i can be part of the live challenge. So I have hit M4 N4 O4 P4 and Q4. Im hoping R4 is the last one and i get something tonight at 11:30pm. I keep forgetting to do a reminder for idol guess so it keeps going back further n further.

so happy we voted out two girls, no offense but this warzone twist makes it impossible to backstab nehe and co. effectively. Its fine, hopefully itll be over soon and I can vote his ass out. No offense to the guy but he just very controlling.

Willow, nothing against you, but I really wanted you gone. I hated that you made it to FTC of another ORG without anything besides an idol play and I can say I am not fulfilled. Sadly, Chloe went to and it sucks because I always wanted to play with her but sadly it was short lived, for now. Hopefully Chloe wins her way back into the game!

Of fucking course it's Chloe and Willow in the retrograde. Bastards are voting off the people I know for sure would mess up and leak it to me if I needed to play my idol. I told Corey about how Cullan is short with me and he confirmed he is short to him as well, it must just be how Cullan is. That's fine and all but makes it hard to get a read on him. Corey and I continue to get along from my perspective, more good news, I did not fuck up while I was completely wasted last night and tell someone about my idol. I have a bad track record of getting drunk and laying all my cards on the table to people. I'm not only playing against everyone in the game but also drunk Ian, and that guy is a prick.

I did my next hit and it sunk the ship!! It’s my first time actually finding something in these idol searches. It may not have been an idol but a vote steal is a good item to have when you just need that one more vote. Im not going to tell anyone I have it. Its going to be a secret until it is used to take a big target/threat in this game.

so far in this game im just working on building my connections! i havent gotten a vote yet which is good but i want to try and not go to tribal as much anymore bc eventually i will become a target. i feel as though my best alliance is with madison obvi since we started together and are good friends. other than that im glad adrian stayed because she is someone i could see myself working with

Fuck this I’m tired and my fingers hurt and ugh

Im waiting to found the retrograde duel and hopefully willow is able to come back because I have some part of connection with her. That is all for today. Oop. Bulbasaur in detective Pikachu was the cutest!!

I got voted out bc I had a busy 2 days and I don't think my score for retrograde is very high goodbye

I'm starting my college apps right now, do you have any tips?? :/

1) College apps are money. Unless your school or the college youre applying for offers app waivers, it would be smart to calculate how money you will be spending on an app. I know Florida schools were usually $30 each + $12 to send your ACT/SAT score, but private school apps can be as costly as $50-$70+ PER APP.2) Start early! The earlier you start to prepare for college, the better. Know what grades they are looking, the median ACT/SAT range, tuition....all that stuff is important. Your dream school should also be an affordable school. If you have parents that will financially support you, thats great! But most parents can't afford the full price of universities (especially the private ones), so be smart about the schools you apply to and pick the ones best for you.3) Have a backup plan if your dream school doesn't work out. I had dreams of going to Mt. Holyoke College, but I was waitlisted and it would cost me about $12k a year to attend. I went to an in-state school instead that I pay nothing to go to, and I love it. Would I love my dream school more? Who knows. But where I ended up could turn out to be a lot more helpful and awesome than if i had indebted myself by going out-of-state.4) Book an appointment with your college counselor if you have any questions. They are there to help you through the process. Advisors can answer all questions about testing, what school would be right for you, and what to expect financially. Be wary of all advice tho. My college advisor told me NOT to apply to the school I currently attend because she said I wouldn't get in. I'm here now, and on full scholarship. That being said....5) Do not lose confidence or motivation in the process. I applied to 23 schools, and got rejected to about half of them. But i learned sooooo much about to the process by doing all of that. Write those essays. Look at every detail on the college's website you want to get into MONTHS prior. Get countless people to revise them. Apply early admission (not early action). Ask for help from E V E R Y W H E R E ( I did through tumblr and have been entirely grateful for those who financially and verbally supported me). You're great, and I'm glad you want to achieve a higher education xoxoYou got this!! I believe in you!!!

Ali & Carly

Ali: save me Ali: this practice is dragging Carly: survive it & i'll help you forget you had to Ali: reckon i've only just come down Ali: but this sesh is making that happen hard and fast 😩 Ali: how's you Carly: aw baby no Carly: say you caught stage fright off me & you gotta leave rn k Carly: i was still up before i got brought down too Ali: dead believable Carly: i kno Ali: can't even blend into the furniture 'cos there is none Ali: so grunge rn Ali: unacceptable tho, who's bringing my baby down Carly: lie on the floor Carly: as protests go itd get the mood across Carly: ronan is Ali: yeah, 'less they think i'm about to go all acdc on 'em Ali: shouldn't have needed to ask but there we are Ali: what's got his knickers in a twist today Carly: wtf does that mean Carly: a load of his cousins are back on site Carly: fun Ali: oh babe Ali: missing out Ali: i'll show you, not at this rehearsal but when i'm actually bringing my rockstar a game Ali: omg is bartley there Carly: k Carly: yea he is Carly: so im not Ali: fun times Ali: i'd rather him over ronan but you do you Carly: if i wanted a bf Carly: but nah Carly: & hes not over it Ali: 😬 Ali: come to grab you Ali: awks Carly: yea Carly: like i kno im good thats why i cant save it all for you boy Carly: wife your own Ali: thought they weren't allowed to wife gorjas anyway Ali: tuttut Ali: you just out here tryna be community spirited Carly: yea im just living like one of you don't get it twisted lads Carly: cant make it clearer than fucking your cousin at your bday party Ali: damn Ali: stone cold boo Carly: told him how it had to be but he didnt wanna hear it Carly: had to show him instead you kno Ali: i get it, did the same but in reverse Ali: its cultural but its a bullshit excuse Ali: don't answer to anyone, so they don't like no, like Carly: yea? Carly: how fun Carly: like i dont answer to anyone either lads Ali: mhmm, you know how weird he got ick Ali: forreal Ali: my ma might say otherwise but shh Carly: mine wouldnt Carly: out here making her proud Ali: pop that on the next postcard Ali: glad you ain't here, lads Carly: ha Carly: wish you were tho you could distract Barty for me Carly: the grass is too wet for creeping Carly: fall on my arse Ali: poor baby Ali: i'd throw myself on that dick bomb for you Ali: lene can't even be mad Ali: loves chivalry Carly: aw Carly: youre too good Carly: i kno i should just go out there like idgaf but looking like this Carly: not gonna do me any favors Ali: like you're so 😍 there's gonna be a riot or you looking how you feeling Carly: wanna say yea to the first 1 but got the weight of last nite on me Ali: fuck this Ali: i'm coming and i'm bringing concealer Carly: might start a riot at rehearsal baby Carly: but idc if you dont Ali: nah, explained Ali: basically a feminist emergency Ali: how could they refuse Ali: don't need to mention we're gonna turn looks and party Carly: ha Carly: [sends selfie] Carly: thats what im working w Carly: emergency it is Ali: nah you still cute Ali: cuter than them, that's a given but i'll bring all my shit Ali: love a makeover moment Carly: youre so sweet Carly: love a happy lie Ali: no lies bitch Carly: ha k bitch Ali: a bitch better believe me Ali: imma make you when i'm through, don't worry Carly: you do have talent Carly: ive seen that Ali: 😉 Ali: tell you it's all natural or take the compliment hmm Carly: nobodys lashes look that good w out help Carly: but when i can see the freckles i kno you not going hard like Carly: so cute Ali: now who's the sweet one, shortcake Ali: 😊 Carly: facts baby Carly: im just saying 'em Ali: touche Ali: well your eye and hair colour combo is killer and we gon flaunt that Carly: its gonna clash w my skin if you keep making me blush boo Ali: nah, save your blushes for me Ali: stone cold fox, remember Ali: they'll never know Carly: dont let your gf kno Carly: dont wanna get grabbed by her either k Ali: 😂 Ali: she'll be gutted but cool with me Carly: love a 3way but Carly: she still scares me Ali: She's a pussycat really Carly: w you Carly: cuz youre cute Ali: so are you Ali: just a #confirmedstraight Ali: she can't be too nice, like, think of her rep Carly: ha Carly: tell her how many girls ive fucked Ali: tempting as it is to spice up the pillowtalk babe Ali: can't deal with the male gaze rant again 🙄 Carly: like you dont kno how to shhh her Ali: 😏 Ali: easy as a lad, like, but don't tell Carly: facts Carly: like i said you have talent baby Ali: backatcha Ali: for a straight girl, like 😘 Carly: ha Carly: yea lads arent no trick Ali: like you said you've fucked loads of girls too Carly: idk tho didnt stick around to tell me how it was Ali: hmm Ali: have to ask for a review next time Carly: fuck no Carly: might as well go to school and flunk that like Ali: awh baby Ali: how you expecting to learn anything 'bout treating a girl right from ronan Carly: idc Carly: as long as the lad is feeling what im doing Carly: & they do Ali: no doubt Carly: too much in bartys case Ali: hard life being a bad bitch Carly: ha you kno Ali: are any of his other cousins cute Ali: get the full set Carly: yea Carly: most are Ali: back again to homewreck hey Carly: couple are old but would Ali: shame i'm 💍 and they probs are too Carly: ha yea Carly: you could end yours w a txt but them nah Ali: you reckon? 😂 Carly: whats she gonna do Carly: show up here Carly: ill be like i dont share bitch Ali: probably Ali: shotgun toting da's don't scare her as much as they should Carly: k ill remember that Carly: hope mine dont show for my own reasons Ali: would probs scare off bart but also all the others Carly: youd think but hed just have a beer w them & b matey matey Carly: reckon hed sell me for a case if he could Carly: ship sailed w my virginity tho Ali: bummer really Ali: who knows what we coulda got outta that deal Ali: giving it away willynilly ugh past me Carly: they might wanna go harder for round 2 Carly: youre more talented now Ali: nice salespitch, babe Ali: i'm impressed, idk if they will be but worth a shot Carly: they would Carly: not that stupid Carly: & youre that cute Ali: like i'll wanna go with them when their chat is gonna be nowhere near as nice 😋 Carly: aw Carly: well you got me Carly: marital bed whenever Ali: but of course 😂 Carly: youre meant to laugh me into bed not out Ali: yeah and you're meant to wanna be there babe so it's chill Carly: k yea true Ali: even with my talents Ali: no turning water into wine, like Ali: sadly Carly: not w that attitude baby Ali: yeah being a debby downer's your only turn-off Ali: my ego thanks you, babe 😉 Carly: i'll work on the rest of you thanking me when you get here Ali: bitch... 😳 Ali: least it gon' be equal when I slay your makeover Carly: ill be grateful you kno Ali: i know

hi! sorry if this is random or if it's a sensitive thing, but do you no longer ship aoka? id on't know if you already explained it somewhere already and i understand it was because of the reposters. i guess i just feel a bit sad since you have always been my favorite aoka artist... but you like something else now and draw more of that than aoka. i'm really sorry, i am glad that you are happy, just a little sad you have left us ..but! i understand you put priority in your own interests.

Hi!! Don’t worry about it; it’s just a slight sore spot but it has more to do with something personal than the community or the pairing itself. I’m really honored to hear that aaa;;

I’m sorry if I disappointed you; it wasn’t my intention. T__T;; Err, in a way to explain myself: when it comes to shipping, I become attracted to pairings that reflect what I’m seeking at the moment. When I was in aoka, it was that desire for companionship but friendly competition. But now, my situation has become a lot more stressful, so I find comfort in the niji/aka dynamic now. _(:3

tldr: I’m sorry if I disappointed you; I still love aoka but I’m a tunnel-vision artist; I’d be really honored if you keep on following and supporting me, but I understand if you don’t. ^0^!! Do what makes you happy! //claps

So…yeah, I got some asks like this here and there wanting to know the full-full story, so I guess I’ll just c/p what I told someone else. I mean it’s not really exciting just dramaaaaaaalallama.

“what did you mean when you said you were in a weird place with ao-kaga?”

It’s a complicated subject since it has been a few years, but I’ll do my best to simplify it! It mostly had to do with the community less than it had to do with the pair themselves!

To start, I always had trouble integrating with tumblr fandoms. I had always drawn in small communities so it was overwhelming when suddenly a lot of eyes turned on me. ^_T!! I wasn’t used to getting more than 20 notes on my art, and then I was left with things in its hundreds.

That is to say, my ego was fed and grew too big. I became stubborn about certain things (like topping preferences and character portrayals; tho now I’ve become more flexible w/ it*) and I had bad encounters with several people from the fandom. (Both parties were at fault haha;; Though objectively looking at it, it was more because of my big head;; orz)

I also felt that because of my past actions, and not to mention several family tragedies caused me to be on the edge more than usual, the rift b/w me and the community has grown farther.

The people who I used to fangirl about aoka with eventually left; some of them started being aggressive and unhealthily competitive with me (in terms of art);; There were huge misunderstandings, yada yada, yeah.;

so…^_T I guess those bad experiences made it hard for me to integrate into another aoka circle. And there was only so much I could have drawn on my own;. Since I sort of lose that close circle of friends and feedback, I drifted I guess. (coughs at tsubasa.)

I don’t regret aoka! I loved it so much; it was just unfortunate I wasn’t able to mesh well into the fandom because of my immaturity and some other unfortunate incidences. ;v;“” I think I will always be passionate about them, but aah, I think for now a break is in order. But, honestly, it’s really easy for me to fall in love with them again.

Here’s something of a secret, I was going through my aoka doujinshi collection with the intent on selling them off. After reading several I got sucked back in lol, and I couldn’t bear to sell away my beloved doujinshis. (I also still collect several artists’ works.) I always wander, but there’s always a 70% chance I’d be coming back ww.

and yea, reiterating with the ships and what I’m attracted to; I like this new ship bc I see myself in Akashi; so many expectations shoved on me, reprieve is really nice in those cases. orz;;;

Yeah;; just don’t mind me skjfh;; I really just do what I like orz… even I can’t predict myself…

But I really appreciate everyone’s patience with me.;; _(:3 

I’ve been trying to grow as a better person, but sometimes my life situation just really affects my fandom interactions. and it’s just been really stressful lately orz;; so I’m sorry if I’m not as open or talkative or very prickly as of late….;;;; 

EDIT:*: someone asked me to clarify what I meant by: “like topping preferences and character portrayals; tho now I’ve become more flexible w/ it“

I guess I should've made it clear that I mostly meant fanfics when I said that. I just didn't read what I didn't like. While I'm chill with people who liked aoka as a switchship or as a ka/ao, I just didn't read the fics. I started aoka with pixiv comics, so when I journeyed into fics for a while, I backed out of it quickly when I didn't agree with the characterization. It was mostly me not reading people's stuff. (Which, for some reason, someone called me out on it and said that I was a hypocrite?? for writing fics but not reading other people's stuff.) I guess you can call me a hypocrite or someone who was too proud I guess.... _(:3;; I just kind of saw how it wasn’t my cuppa;

look at these good parents lol

Marshall Lee: [So Marshall Lee is just hanging out, I guess. Hanging out minding his own business. And yeah, maybe he knows. Maybe he's heard the excitement of Clover screaming earlier that she had a doctor's apoitment, and sure maybe he's curious about it all, but whatever. So maybe he's expecting to see the girl around, as he always does, but it's not like he's waiting around for her. nope. totally not a marshall lee thing to do at all.]

Clover: [Guess what? Clover's coming in from her doctor's appointment, all excited. And yes, she's been alone. She wanted to go alone. She told everyone it was just so the big news would be a surprise for Roy, but no, she just wanted to do it alone. And boy, she's ecstatic, like, really crazy happy right now. So, she's heading back to her dorm, I guess? And she's gonna pass Marshall, really unaware he's there just because she's got excitement tunnel vision, and she just wants to get back to her room and jump around excitedly.]

Marshall Lee: [so he just watches her walk on by... yep. I'm sure there's a "hey clo....." but it's ignored. and he's honestly taken aback and offended like df? but still for some odd reason he is completely curious as to why she just passed him up. so he makes his way to her door and knocks once, but actually just barges in. his eyes land on a jumping Clover, and he just watches her at the door way. laughing, too because what a cutie.] So it went well then?

Clover: [There's a yell when her room is barged into, because w h o a. But when she recovers, the big, pretty Clover smile is back on her face, and she nods excitedly.] Yeah, really well.

Marshall Lee: [is that a smilE on Marshall Lee's fACE? yeah, because his frIEND IS ECSTATIC, and woaw.] That's good. Happy for you. [a tiny round of applause.]

Clover: [And, really, she can't keep herself contained, and no, nobody else knows yet besides her, but wahey.] They told me what the baby is.

Marshall Lee: You mean other than a bump?

Clover: [There's a lil eyeroll.] Well, yeah.

Marshall Lee: So is there going to be a little Roy running around? Or a little Clover? [he's just curious, there's a shrug. he doesn't care. really. he doesn't mhm.]

Clover: [She smiles real big again, and perhaps her hand is subconsciously moving to her tummy, just maybe.] It's a girl.

Marshall Lee: Thank t h e lord. [and he doesn't believe in prayers but his hands are brought together bcs heckie yes no more little roys running around.]

Clover: Be nice~. [like, boy, I just told u before anybody else, and I know why you're thanking the lord, and while warranted it is not nice.]

Marshall Lee: Congrats, I mean. [ and so he walks right up to her for a high five. is that nice enough?]

Clover: Thank you! [And since she's so ecstatic with happiness, she skips right past that high five, and pulls him into a hug instead. Fight me!]

Marshall Lee: Oh-- [so oKAY he hugs her back, and a little too lightly.] A girl tho. If she's anything like her mother, she's going to be a real crazy lady. mHM

Clover: [She pulls back and gives him a look like 'i said be nice'.] She's gonna be perfect.

Marshall Lee: [so he just nods in agreement, because yep that was perfection in his eyes right there.] Crazy, and perfect, probably with those fake eyes, and... well... and...

Marshall Lee: [no he's not gonna say it

Marshall Lee: ]

Clover: [There's another softer, but still Clover pretty, smile.] And whaaaaat~?

Marshall Lee: [he just shrugs, and pulls away from that hug, because that big pretty smile is wayyyy too dangerous. kay.] Oh, just nothing.

Clover: Hmph. [turn that into a Clover pout, because deflecting Marshall is a pain.]

Marshall Lee: So, how do pregnant lady's celebrate good news anyways? Should I buy a 12 pack of Mountain Dew? [trying to make a joke. t r y i n g.]

Clover: I can't have caffeine, so I have to decline. [she grimaces, because why god a life without Moutain Dew.] But I've never been pregnant before, so I don't know how I'm supposed to celebrate.

Marshall Lee: Bummer. [there's a small shake in his head.] Well.... what would you like to do instead? Anything you can think of? Think of it like a present from me, I guess....

Clover: [She thinks for a minute.] You could always buy me food. I /am/ eating for two, after all~.

Marshall Lee: That's right, you are~ [he chuckles.] What's the little one craving? Hm?

Clover: I can't say for sure, but probably mcnuggets. [she shrugs with an adorable lil grin.]

Marshall Lee: Probably. Alright, alright. Probably mcnuggets. So let's go, then.

Clover: Yaaaaay, you're awesome~~~. [because give Clover food, and she's a happy girl. Especially mcnuggets while pregnant, yes gAWD. she's on her way out, yay.]

Marshall Lee: [and so in the back of his mind, a happy Clover is way better than a pouting Clover, and since he was unable to actually tell her that her daughter would be just as beautiful as she was, mayyyybe this would make up for it. so she's out the door, he's out the door, and they're walking] I'm really happy for you, by the way. A daughter's real exciting, she's going to be precious.

Clover: Yeah, I'm really excited. And, like, there's something about knowing what she is that makes it feel even more real and stuff, and it's weird, but it's also really cool. Like, I have a human in me? What???? It's mine??? It's so weird.

Marshall Lee: You know. It is pretty cool. Never thought I'd say that. She's all yours, tho and, well, and his. But mostly yours for now, I guess? [there's a grimace at the his, yuck. eye roll] And I'm sure you're going to spoil her loads, and well, you're going to be a great mom. I know it.

Clover: [There's probably a matching grimace when Marshall says 'his', ngl. But she recovers pretty quickly.] Really? You think it's cool? I wouldn't have pictured you the type to think parenthood sounded cool. [eyebrow raise, because is Marshall not like I think? mmm.] Thank you. I hope I'll be.

Marshall Lee: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaked out at first. But seeing you, and your excitement, I don't know. I'm excited for you.

Clover: Maybe you can babysit sometime. See how much you really like it~. [there's a smirk, because she's joking hard.]

Marshall Lee: I'd never. No way. Especially for date night with Roy. [ annoyedddd af]

Clover: Not for date night, stupid. [Literally, every time he brings up Roy, there's an internal eye roll.] Maybe you can just come and play with her sometime then. When she's with me, or whatever.

Marshall Lee: A better option. Yes. I can deal with that.

Clover: Seeing you with a baby would be funny. [there's another grin. she's all smiles right now, apparently.]

Marshall Lee: [And so he was unfazed as the car pulled up to the drive thru window. He was too busy thinking of the idea. Him, with a baby. And while that normally would irk him, and send nasty prickles up his spine, he pictured it. For once, he thought about him, holding Clover's child in his arms, and he couldn't help but to smile.] Yeah... funny. [So the voice on the intercom interrupted them and he ordered some food yikes bye.]

Clover: [food is ordered, and food is with the pregnant girl now, and she's happily eating said food. but hey, she's gonna fish for info now. Just watch her.] Do you think you'd-- ever want kids, or???

Marshall Lee: [he steals some fries. or maybe he ordered himself some as the eater for two needs all the sustenance she can take, but he ponders the question. Thinking real hard, and before, before Clover getting knocked up by Roy, he would have said no. In fact, he was glad the child wasn't his, as it were a possibility. but no. h hadn't want any children then but now....] I don't know. Sure. With the right person, I guess. [eating salty goodness.]

Clover: Mm. [she nods, contemplating. Would she fall under that category, if Marshall knew the truth? Probably not. But being open to the idea at all? A step up, for sure.] I think... you'd be a pretty good dad.

Marshall Lee: Me? Oh... no. Nah. [he shakes that idea off real quick.] I don't know the first thing about babies, or children or anything.

Clover: Neither do I.

Marshall Lee: But, you're...

Marshall Lee: No.. you're like excited and happy and... reading about it. and stuff.

Clover: I still don't ~know~ anything about being a parent.

Clover left the chat

Clover joined the chat

Marshall Lee: So... so what are you saying?

Clover: I'm just saying... you don't have to have any knowledge beforehand for me to think you'd be a good dad. That's all. [she looks down at her fries, tbh.]

Marshall Lee: So then... [huff] what do you think makes a good parent? Hm?

Clover: Caring enough to try, I guess.

Marshall Lee: Well... I'd try. I guess.

Marshall Lee: [shrug]

Clover: Then... you'd be a good dad. [shrug, eating fries, trying to be nonchalant.]

Marshall Lee: [he's just gonna quietly eat his fries.] I neither agree or disagree I guess.

Clover: You're not allowed to disagree with me~.

Marshall Lee: [eye roll aF] For now I do.

Clover: [Clover pout.]

Marshall Lee: I'm just sayiNG, I won't know until it happens to me.

Clover: Til then, you just have to believe it~~~

Marshall Lee: Fine. Fine. okay. Fine. [he fakes a Clover pout ha.]

Clover: You can't pull a pout on someone that trademarked the pout.

Marshall Lee: I do what I want, woman. [eVEN MORE EXAGGERATED POUT HER WAY.]

Clover: It doesn't work, stupid.

Marshall Lee: -______________- k.

Clover: Don't make that face at me.

Marshall Lee: -__-

Clover: I'll get out of the car.

Marshall Lee: No don't. It's not safe

Clover: Then stop making that face~

Marshall Lee: Stop making UR face.

Clover: I can't.

Marshall Lee: Samsies~

Clover: Liar.

Marshall Lee: You're welcome for your nuggets btw. :D

Clover: ... Yeah, thanks for that. They're great.

Marshall Lee: [Thumbs up]

Clover: You're the best~~~~

Marshall Lee: No you, tbh.

Clover: I didn't buy you any mcnuggets.

Marshall Lee: No but you made me realize something [shrug]

Clover: What?

Marshall Lee: That I could be a good dad. If I wanted.... you know. [shrug again aF.] I mean sure I don't like it but I guess you're right. As you always are [EYE ROLL, and parked car they are back home.]

Clover: Yeah, I always am. [smiley smile]

Marshall Lee: Yeah... yeah... w/e.

Clover: [she just giggles.]

(1) Hi so I hope I'm somehow able to word this properly and not be an awful person (I'm sorry my emotions are still running kinda haywire). So yesterday my datemate told me that they are aromantic and they've known for about two months now and they didn't tell me earlier (even tho they hate lying/keeping secrets) bc they still love me (but not romantically of course) and they were worried I was going to cut ties with them completely in order to get over them and not want them in my life

anymore. Which I don't think I would have done, but given my past experience and personality, I think it was a reasonable thing to think. So after they told me that, I cried a lot and we talked about it some more, but it wasn't really a proper discussion since I was crying so hard. (I don't know if this helps but I'm an infj and my datemate (?) is an intj. I'm also asexual and they're pansexual. Sorry to dump this on you, I just think you're insightful and give good advice). We've been dating for 10 months now so it's a little bit hard finding this out after we've already been together for a while. While I understand why they waited 2 months to tell me (didn't want to hurt me, we were already dating, didn't want to permanently lose me) I'm still mad and wish they had told me earlier. I'm very future-oriented and I plan things out so far in advance, I was already imagining a future with them and was so happy and excited about it. I can change this image of coursebut it feels so sudden and it's like everything's been turned upside down. Last night I was overwhelmingly sad, and today I'm still sad but also angry. Maybe it wouldn't have but that's 2 months I could've spent stopping myself from getting attached to this future image. We talked about it together multiple times: what we each want, where we want to live, what kind of cats and dogs we want to own together. I know we can still live together, & I'd really really love that, it's just that someof the certainty of the future has been ripped away and it was really comforting and wonderful to think about. I really love them a lot and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather own cats with. Last night they said they'd still like to be in a romantic relationship with me and date me and continue doing everything else we've already been doing, but they don't want to be involved with any of those romantic rituals like getting married, etc. All I want right now is to continue our currentrelationship, especially since they want to and they really want to be in my future. It's just that I'm so attached to the idea of romantic love and marriage (it's so stupid though) and I don't know how to get away from that & I KNOW that no matter how much I'd like to continue this current relationship, I'm going to eventually want to get married and I don't want to regret anything. The ideal future would be for me to live with both them and someone else I'm married to in the same housebut all I can think about is how there's no way that'll ever work bc then that's three people's lives, jobs, wants and needs we'd have to coordinate in order to live in the same place and area. The probability of it working out is so unlikely & I don't know if I'd be even be able to find someone else to date who'd be willing to do that. I'm thinking the best option is for me to break off my current relationship with my datemate and do something more akin to a qpr, I just hate how vague anduncertain the future seems now. In the midst of this, I'm still mourning our past relationship (it was also my first romantic relationship). I really hope I didn't say anything to hurt their feelings last night but I tried to make as clear as possible that it's okay for them to be aromantic, I'm just upset about the changes to my vision of the future. Like if only I could get rid of this attachment to the idea of marriage and romantic love, and all that sappy stuff, then we could still continue our current relationship into the future the way it's been. I've just been so happy since (and before) we started dating at college and it's kinda of just a shocker, like I was too optimistic. I did get some warning from my instincts which I probably should've listened to (I hesitated before asking them out bc I thought they might've been aro but they said yes & later when they talked about possibly being polyarmorous I freaked out bc I went on a forum & lots of ppl had similarviews on platonic and romantic love and in poly and aro communities and I was worried that they were aro and I brought it up to them and at the time, they thought they were poly so they reassured me BUT two weeks after the convo realized they were aro. Fucking weirdass ni. Should've listened to it. In addition to this, I have become very attached to cuddling and physical intimacy and I don't want that to stop...but at the same time I'm worried I'm never going to stop liking them if I don'tstop the physical intimacy. Last night they said they'd be fine with whatever I wanted to do (become friends, continue the romantic relationship, or continue the romantic relationship and affection until I find someone else I want to date). Honestly the third option sounds the most appealing but I'm just worried I'm gonna be trapped in a limbo and that my new ideal future option is too unlikely to happen & by continuing the physical and emotional intimacy I'm keeping myself from formingother bonds with other people. I don't want to cut them out of my life, bc even if we ended the romantic relationship, we have become so close with each other, and I enjoy spending time with them more than anyone else at college right now. I know that they really value their relationship with me as well, since they said that they trust me more than anyone else and they have a lot of difficulty opening up to people. I'm not quite sure what kind of advice I'm asking for, maybe I just neededto write all of this out. I'm sorry this was so long, I just have so many emotions. I guess I'm wondering what your opinion is, & if you have any advice on dealing with overcoming the loss of a former vision of the future & replacing it with another one (the biggest question I guess). Also maybe any advice on whether or not you think it's something that would work & if I'm still being too optimistic. Do you have any tips on how to go about forming a qpr? Thank you so much! Feel free toanswer whenever you happen to have any time!! Also if any of these messages get lost or eaten by tumblr, let me know & I can resend them (I've saved them). I'm sorry this was so long! Thank you 

Honestly I'm starting to feel a little bit better after writing all of that out and thinking about other possible future options (happy ones of course) and it's really nice. Thank you for your blog & all you do for the mbti community. Mbti always makes me feel better when I'm feeling bad and reading your thoughts and insights on it is always fun. I guess it's sorta distraction but it's still nice and isn't really hurting me so thanks 

Okay so first i wanna establish i’m likely aro myself so i dont really have a great understanding of the differences between romantic and platonic feelings.

So, one thing I’m confused about is how the relationship would go if you proceeded like the INTJ suggested, (the same, but w no “rituals”). What exactly about the relationship right now would be romantic to you that wouldn’t continue, besides stuff like marriage? Bc I think the biggest disconnect wouldn’t be in not doing x y z, but in a difference in how you view the relationship. If they view the relationship somehow differently bc they are aro, what are those differences? Bc obviously it isn’t a sexual relationship but you were doing things that would be “romantic” rather than “friendly.” I think it would be helpful to try to figure out what has changed, really at all. Bc if you are viewing the relationship very differently from each other, I can see how that could cause pain.

It definitely seems like you want something more from the relationship than they do, and I do think that if you continued the relationship with you sort of pretending it’s a romantic relationship and them sort of pretending it’s a friendship, with you knowing it will never fulfill those expectations you had, it will feel like something is missing and bitterness/pain/disconnection might come from that. I think if you decided to continue the physical intimacy but say you’re friends, that’s what you’re going to end up doing. I think you shouldn’t cut them off or avoid them, it just wouldn’t be logical. I think you should keep your friendship, but try not to do anything you would see as romantic. Maybe a little space right now would be really good, for you especially, to get your head around it without any pressure or guilt. However, I do think that given time (esp given your types), you could change the nature of the relationship and move on in a way, especially bc it is your first relationship. I think you could be best friends, and you could end up with a different romantic partner that you have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with.

I do think you should trust your instincts, if they’re telling you anything at this point. It seems like doing so would put you in a place that feels natural.

I don’t have any tips on how to form a qpr bc i’ve never had one and don’t really have a want for one, but I do advise you to be careful, bc boy have a I seen people try to have a qpr with someone they clearly have a crush on and it isn’t fun for either of the people involved.

No prob man, I rlly hope it works out for you. I do think the venting helped you organize everything! I’m glad you like my blog, thanks :)!