been watching hxh!!

Hi!! This is for the valentines matchup event!

My name is Sophie, my pronouns are she/her and i’m bi!

I would prefer to be matched up with someone from hxh and i’d like it to be romantic. if you could pls not pair me with anyone from the chimera ant arc or a background character (besides anyone from the pt) that would be great 😭😭 no hate to those characters but that’s just not my thang

anywho, im an infj. I’m an introvert and definitely a very quite and observant kind of person. I can read someone like a book just by watching them and studying them for a little while. (i’m not a stalker just very curious lmfao) I would prefer someone who would be around but would also give me some space because i’m a very independent person.

I foster many puppies and kittens and older ones of course who need help or have been in an abusive household. I absolutely love animals; i have three dogs and used to have one cat but unfortunately she passed away not that long ago. I also dress depending on how i feel that day, i like form fitting things like flared leggings and stuff like that but i do wear A LOT of jewelry and love making myself look confident and presentable. I also love reading and writing, always have since i was a kid.

I absolutely adore music, any type of genre other than country. I find so much beauty in music and really see into it and how it can change someone’s mood just by some melody. I even create spotify playlists for each day lol. My love language is definitely physical touch and gifts. If the other person doesn’t like touch then i’m totally okay with that, i guess it kind of depends what my partner is okay with and i’d be okay with it too.

For the fic, i guess it would be how we meet. Or maybe they noticed me and took a liking to me. I would like someone who is observant like me and would notice the little things about me.

Thank you so much! you’re a lovely writer and i’ve seen your work. Keep it up! and have a wonderful valentine’s day <33

notes 💌: hello dear!! first of all, thank you for the lovely note at the end, it really means a lot!! second of all, thank you for requesting a matchup!!! i am super happy to have hosted this event, but boy oh boy i got burned out. I am super sorry how late this is and that it didn't make it into the actual event, but thank you so much for your patience, it really means the world. I am sending lots of love <333

THE CHARACTER I CHOOSE FOR YOU IS…

CHROLLO!!!

the fact that you are so observant is very attractive to chrollo, i can just feel it in my soul

he is also a very observant person, so you both make a good team

read him like a book

please

he thinks it's so hot

he definitely gives you the space you need because he is pretty to himself

sure he is dependent on his spiders, but he still likes to be alone, so he completely understands how you feel

HE LOVES THAT YOU FOSTER PETS

he will 100% help you

he loves that you are very caring about your looks. he doesnt need it from you, but he loves that you have a passion in it

you two will definitely just sit and read together in silence, but it's so romantic i think

he also finds beauty in music so it's nice to have someone who has a similar interest

he is definitely okay with physical touch, he loves hugs, kisses, cuddles, the whole thing

and he loves gift giving, he loves receiving gifts from you and loves getting gifts

though i think his biggest is words of affirmation

he loves reminding you how much he loves you and ADORES writing you love letters, no matter how cheesy lol

Your Fic <3333

He noticed your eyes first. And then your hands. And then your lips. Chrollo couldn't help but stare at you as you walked into the bar. He knew you had a motive, but he couldn't tell what it was. Something told him that you weren't just there for a drink. When you sat at a lone table and stared at your phone, he made his move. Chrollo moved slowly, not wanting to scare you and when you noticed him and gave him a curious look, he took that as a sign to sit down across from you. He smiled. You smiled. "I'm y/n," you said, sticking your hand out to him. "Chrollo," he said back, taking your hand in his own not only to shake it, but turn it over in his hand and press a kiss onto your knuckles. "You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?" He tilted his head at you and admired not only your beauty, but the way he could tell that you were reading him like an open book. "I occasionally deal with a spider or two." You inquired, taking a sip of your drink. "Ah, I see." Chrollo grinned at you, tucking a loose piece of hair behind his ear. "Good to meet you, y/n."

~~~~~

pinned post @tonberry-yoda

Ranking and Rating All the Animes I’ve Watched (Which ain’t a lot)

Some of these might get me killed lmao but whatever. Feel free to judge me for my top fives

in order from least favorite to favorite

+++

15: Angel Beats: 2/10 for cool concept

- This is the only anime on here that I hate 💀 Idk why, there was just something about it. I’m not a big fan of romance so the ending was...eh. The concept is interesting as hell tho honestly

14: Banana Fish: 6/10 for Ash breaking my heart

- I know this is such a beloved show, but I just. Cant. Like it’s good, I like it, I’m just not a big fan of— idk how to explain it. Street fighting style anime? I like superpowers basically LMAO

13: Dorohedoro: 4/10 for Lizard bitch

- This is just Banana Fish on drugs and paranormal also as far as I can tell nobody falls in love here. I’m still watching and I’m struggling to get really into it, but I’m giving it a chance. The intro is one of the best ones on this list tho

12: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: 6/10 for intros

- I made it halfway through Part 2 then I gave up because it’s so batshit, but that’s kinda why I love it even though it’s so low on here. It wins #1 for THE BEST opening songs and intros

11: Hunter x Hunter: 7/10 for having one of the best villains

- I watched this entire goddamn anime and it just did not stick with me. I skipped a lot of episodes in the Chimera Ant arc because it would be one fight dragged on for three eps, however I will say I absolutely bawled at the end of it.

10: Yuri On Ice: 6/10 for Jerry Jewell the Russian King of Funimation

- Good comfort anime I binge watch every few months, my main beef with it is how repetitive it is. There doesn’t seem to be a lot at stake besides their careers and obviously the romance. Maybe it’s just because I’ve seen it so many times that I’ve become numb to it

9: Devilman Crybaby: 7/10 for WHAT THE FUCKFJJG

- I watched this mf in one night and I have not been the same since. The ending is fucking insane and I adore it, but everything else leading up to that is kinda lame. The animation is kinda ugly too lol

8: Beastars: 8/10 for sexy deer

- Can’t believe I made fun of this furry anime only for it to be one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Amazing plot, I genuinely can’t wait for more seasons especially since the manga gets insane. Also— that INTRO IS AMAZING

7: Soul Eater: 5/10 because Kid is in it

- My first anime besides SAO 🙌 Very unique art style I love it, also lovable characters. My main thing with it is that honestly the stakes seem a little too much for a group of fucking 15 year olds to handle but whatever, that’s most shounen anime in general

6: Demon Slayer: 6/10 for Nezuko and the orange mf I know will be my favorite

- I’m still watching this and so far I really like it, it’s just slow as hell. I’m not entirely sure what the main goal is, but I’ve heard it gets really good. Looking forward to another season if we get it

5: Fairy Tail: 7/10 for power of friendship

- I’ve loved this anime since I was like 10 bruh. I know it’s repetitive with “the power of friendship” but that’s what I like about it— nothing beats good character dynamics. Also wins the award for Best Hetero Ships in existence

4: My Hero Academia: 9/10 for the characters being AAA

- Hands down one of the best cast of characters, there’s not a single one I hate (besides Mineta but that’s the point of his character). The main issue I have with it is right now in the anime it’s still a little...kiddy? Like there was a festival arc after a very emotionally intense arc LMAO. Anyways, I’m excited for it to get more gritty

3: The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: 10/10 for amazing characters and comedy

- I just like dumbass fucking satirical comedy, as you can probably tell. This show made me laugh out loud so many times. If I had to choose anything to like not like about it it would be the fact that near the end of s2 it got kinda 😳😰 out of NOWHERE

2: Hetalia: 0/10 I fucking hate this dumb country anime

- I don’t even wanna talk about it. Just repeat what I said about dumbass satirical comedy and add my love for history and you get the mold that’s been growing in my head for over a year

1: Attack On Titan: unable to be rated bc it’s so good

- Honestly this just speaks for itself. Never have I absolutely loved a story and it’s characters this much, and it’s so well written I don’t know how Isayama came up with it. The ending was genuinely amazing. I’ll be thinking about this dumbass thing for a while . Also: amazing intros

+++

I have a long ass list I still need to watch tho this list will be updated in the future

Edit: lmao maybe I should say that this isn’t a list on which anime is good and which is bad, it’s just a favorites list. some of the ones I dislike are really good, they just didn’t stick with me 🤷

I originally wanted to make two separate posts about this but i’m actually making a single one : the overarching theme of love, redemption, second chances and Togashi’s overall positive and optimistic writing are leading me to believe a few things concerning Killua and Gon’s relationship, namely that we’ll get an explicit romantic confession to canonize their relationship, but also that Gon is actually the one who fell for Killua first.

First of all, I know I say it a lot but I really, really do believe that by the end of the manga, Killua and Gon’s relationship will be a canon romantic one. I wrote a short post about this already, but I’m gonna explain briefly my point of view on this as I believe it’s important and relevant to the points I want to try and make in this post.

• Killua is pretty much canonically in love with Gon. There’s just too much subtext concerning this matter, and the “shinjuu” line single-handedly canonizes that fact. Togashi is a very, very smart man, and doesn’t throw random words around, he knows the weight of the word shinjuu and what it implies, and the entire chimera ant arc focuses on Killua’s feelings towards Gon, so there is no doubt in my mind that Killua canonically has romantic feelings for him. These two tweets live in my head rent free because it’s so wonderfully written, so here you go :

• I also deeply believe that Togashi would never leave this ambiguous. I wrote a full post about this if you want to read it, but basically, it doesn’t fit Togashi’s writing style. A lot of people say that Togashi’s queer rep is ambiguous in HxH, but it’s unfair because HxH is literally not over yet. There are still ambiguous things because the manga is still developing. Thing is, Togashi has put queer characters in his previous works, and it was never ambiguous. It was always explicitely stated. Same goes for the relationships between his characters. There’s no reason to believe this wouldn’t be the case for HxH.

• Togashi’s positive writing is echoed in Killua’s story arc, in the sense that Killua reflects Togashi’s optimistic writing style and the overarching theme of love, redemption, second chances and the power human connection. 

Killua’s character arc is one of slowly changing your life around, becoming your best self with a little help from someone to show you the way, it’s about positive growth, healing from trauma and going against what people think of you. It’s about healing and becoming your best self, no matter what.

It’s a very positive character arc, and one that’s been thoroughly demonstrated during the entire story.

That’s why Killua’s romantic feelings towards Gon could never stay unrequited one way or another, because it just would defeat the entire positive narrative of Killua’s character arc. Because Killua’s character arc is about healing and growing, and even though you thought you could never do that, learn how to love. It’s about finding love after abuse. 

And to me, the only way to complete that story arc, when we know that Killua canonically has romantic feelings towards Gon, would be for Gon to return those feelings. Because Killua’s character arc isn’t only about learning how to love someone no matter what, but also about being loved in return. That’s how you complete Killua’s positive story arc. 

I’ll come back to this theme a bit later on, though.

• There’s no way Shonen Jump can intervene and censor HxH. Now, I think I’m one of the few meta writers who actually believes this, but I’m 100% convinced that Shonen Jump always knew that HxH is queer work. I wrote multiple posts about this : the first post I linked mentions why SJ probably knows ; on the general gay subtext in both anime adaptations ; on 99 specifically and finally on the fact that it’s weird that gay subtext was emphasized in 99 anime when there was none in canon material only for it to appear later on in the manga.

But to summarize, there’s just no way Shonen Jump doesn’t know. 

First of all, Hunter x Hunter is published right after Yu Yu Hakusho. Thing is, Togashi ended YYH for a few reasons, but one of them was because he didn’t feel free of doing what he wanted to do with his story, because Jump kept on declining his ideas.

This led him to completely drop the story. Now, if you’re a manga writer who’s been deeply disgusted by how your last manga was controlled, what would you do ? I’m sure you would make 100% sure you could take your next story wherever you wanted. And I’m certain that’s what Togashi did. Because to be able to write his story the way he wanted, he had to make sure SJ would allow him to go anywhere he wanted. That includes his characters and their relationship dynamics, which are the basics when you pitch a story.

Togashi also emphasized in one of his interviews that he’s free to do whatever he wants.

Furthermore, Togashi’s editors and Shonen Jump aren’t dumb. They can definitely pick up on the gay subtext. If they didn’t want gay things in HxH, they would’ve never let Togashi publish some chapters, ESPECIALLY the chapter where Killua declares he’ll commit shinjuu with Gon. SJ isn’t dumb. Shinjuu hits HARD, especially in japanese, so they definitely know what it means (it’s literally the equivalent to saying them dying together would be like Romeo and Juliet).

Finally, and that’s half crack-theory half serious, but one of the main reasons I believe SJ knows is because of the 99 anime adaptation. It was HxH’s first anime adaptation, and Togashi was involved in it to some extent. Now, 99 is extremely gay. I linked the posts where I talk about it above, but basically, it’s rainbow flags overlay on top of the characters in the opening, gay opening and ending song lyrics, over the top gay lines and situations.... which is interesting. Because like i mentioned in one of these posts, it’s interesting that this gay subtext was present and highlighted in the anime adaptation when there was none in the manga at that stage. It’s very, very interesting that gay subtext appeared later on in the manga, after the anime adaptation went crazy with it. I firmly believe it’s because Togashi pitched his manga as gay to the 99 animators, and if so, that’d mean SJ would also know.

Anyways ! In short, I believe Killua and Gon’s relationship will become canon by the end of the manga because there’s no risk of editorial meddling since SJ probably knows this is where the story is going. Killua’s romantic feelings are also pretty much canon, and the only way to complete his positive character arc would be to have Gon return those feelings and prove that you’re worthy of love no matter what. Finally, Togashi would never leave it ambiguous, because that’s something he’s never done before, and Killua and Gon’s relationship has never been portrayed as ambiguous nor subtle, it’s still developing.

Now !! This was just an introduction to what I wanted to talk about in this post, I’m sorry you still have a bit more reading to do HAHAA

But ! 

With this belief in mind that Killugon will be canon in the end, there are two things I want to talk about.

• First, I genuinely believe we’ll get a romantic, highly emotional love confession scene between the two of them. For the sole fact that it’s something deeply intertwined with Killua’s character arc.

Like I mentioned above, Killua’s arc is about overcoming trauma and having a second chance at life, a chance to be better, a chance to be your best self. His arc is about opening up his heart to new experiences and new feelings, and learning how to love and pass that love around. His story arc is representation for trauma survivors that things can and will get better, and you can overcome anything, turn your entire life around, heal, and thrive.

And to me, the completion of that story arc is definitely to show that not only can you learn to open up your heart and love someone, but that you can be loved for who you are. That someone can look at you for who you are, accept you and love you no matter what. You can be loved by someone the same way you love them, in a romantic way.

To me, that’s where the story is going. Considering Killua’s canonical romantic feelings, and the overall positive themes surrounding his character arc, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is the message Togashi wants to convey.

And in my opinion, this message wouldn’t be delivered ambiguously or subtly. This narrative of being loved has always been enforced through highly emotional scenes throughout the manga, to highlight the message that yes !! you, trauma survivor !! can be loved for who you are !!

It’s been expressed through that emotional scene where Nanika tells Killua she loves him, for example.

It’s also been displayed in the countless scenes where Gon expresses his love for Killua, expresses his admiration for him, how he’s glad he’s met him, how happy he makes him, how Killua is his best friend in the entire world.... It’s been conveyed through the stargazing scene on Whale Island, through the entire Zoldyck Family Arc where Gon waltzs in the Zoldyck Mansion to rescue Killua, through the scene in Greed Island Arc where Gon tells him he’s glad to have met him, through the dodgeball match scene where Gon declares that it can only be Killua holding the ball, through the moment Gon says that the first thing he’ll do when he sees Ging is introduce him to his best friend in the whole world, Killua. 

Togashi could have chosen to show and not tell that Gon cares a lot about Killua, and that he finally found someone who loves him for who he is. He could’ve made them hang out normally, and we would’ve understood that Killua found someone who accepts him. But no, this has always been the main theme of HxH. Seeing the both of them grow closer and closer and grow and heal together. He chose to highlight the fact that he’s loved and cared for through words of affirmation to emphasize the narrative of being loved after surviving trauma. For the purpose of providing an extremely clear message of love to trauma and abuse survivors who identify with Killua : that you can find someone like Gon, someone who will love you for who you are. Togashi wanted to make it explicitly clear.

So now, since all of these words of affirmation were “platonic” (i’ll come back to the quotation marks in the last part of this post), but still highly emotional :

Wouldn’t it make sense that the romantic application of this narrative would also be portrayed through a highly emotional scene ? 

For the sole purpose of highlighting the final message of Killua’s story arc of overcoming your past and being loved and accepted for who you are, in a romantic way this time ? Of being loved the same way you love ? 

Since we’ve had so many platonic reaffirmations of this idea, I think it’d be fitting for the romantic part of the narrative to be conveyed through a highly emotional scene. Like a confession scene under the stars that would parallel the stargazing scene on Whale Island, for example, since stars are thematically fitting since they are linked to Killua’s story echoing Tanabata. 

An open love confession would be the final and ultimate way to cement that narrative of loving and being loved. A highly emotional scene, just like we’ve always had, to demonstrate the romantic application of the theme of being loved after experiencing trauma. The ultimate, non-ambiguous message of unconditional love for trauma survivors. 

Showing that you, trauma survivor who identifies with Killua, can learn to love yourself, love someone else and be loved in return.

• Keeping Killua’s character arc in mind, I want to adress a final point that I deeply believe is true. 

To me, Gon is the one that actually fell in love with Killua first.

Thing is, Gon is that type of character that acts first and thinks later on. He always does things on instinct, only giving it thought after the thing happened. So it 100% makes sense that it would apply to romantic feelings too. That’s why, to me, it’s very likely that Gon fell in love first but just didn’t realize it was romantic feelings, because he’s 12, never really thought about it and feelings are confusing. And to me, Togashi is setting up feelings realization on Gon’s part.

Gon has always behaved very intensely with Killua, always reaffirming how much he means to him. He’s always taken onto that role of providing Killua with love from the moment he met him. He accepted him for who he is, and always made him feel cared for. 

Togashi definitely planted the seeds for a possible interpretation of this idea of him falling first. The stargazing scene on Whale Island is just.... so romantic in nature. Gon tells Killua that he’s happy when he’s with him under a starry night sky, tells him he wants to travel the world with him and stay with him, because his presence next to him fills him with joy. Then we have his constant words of affirmation towards Killua, and how cool he is, how amazing and strong he is...

But to me, what really convinces me that Gon fell first is Greed Island arc. Gon’s behavior towards Killua during this arc was extremely emotional. It was deep, deep care and love for his best friend. We get to see him blush as he tells Killua that he’s really, really glad he’s here with him and glad he’s met him.

We get to see him declare that the first thing he’ll do when he finds Ging will be to introduce his amazing best friend to him.

But honestly, what made my brain explode is the dodgeball scene. 

Because as I mentioned in this post, the phrasing Gon uses is one that is used in romantic contexts to confess to someone. It’s a love declaration, literally. And I don’t believe Gon meant it as romantic, because he probably has no idea his feelings are romantic in nature. But. Togashi is a troll. He really, really enjoys toying with his readers. 

To me, the fact this sentence is romantic in nature could be Togashi putting Gon’s feelings right in front of our faces, hiding it in double meaning but still plainly there for us to see. It could be Togashi toying with us in the process of setting up Gon’s feelings, so that when it gets canonized that Gon fell first, on a re-read of the manga, you go “oh. that sentence is romantic. it was literally right in front of our eyes the entire time”. I’m probably reaching !!! but!!!! the fact is, this sentence is still romantic in meaning. It’s still coated in romantic subtext. And that’s intentional on Togashi’s part.

I’ll link this magnificent post by Quintessence that basically explains what I just said much better.

In short, it would totally make sense that Gon fell first. It wouldn’t come out of nowhere, since Gon’s behavior from the beginning of the manga can definitely be interpreted as romantic in nature. The countless emotional scenes where he asserts how much he cares for Killua can definitely be read as romantic, and Gon’s behavior can definitely be explained by him having a crush on Killua, despite him not knowing.

Now, the thing that makes me further believe this is true is the fact that symbolically speaking, it makes sense that Gon fell in love with Killua first. It would enforce the narrative of Killua’s character arc of being loved for who you are and not having to earn love.

It would literally dismiss everything Killua believes about having to earn the right to be loved. About having to earn his place right next to Gon. About having to change to be good enough for Gon.

Because if Gon fell first, then Killua was loved for who he is from the beginning, from the moment they met. Killua didn’t have to earn his love, like he thought he had to, especially in CAA, because he was loved the same way all along.

It’d show that Gon didn’t start to love Killua because Killua earned that right by changing for Gon. He didn’t start to love Killua when he started to heal and change his life to become a good person. He was always loved for who he is because Gon always saw him and loved him no matter what.

And that would once again highlight Killua’s character arc beautifully. It’d show that you are worthy of love even if you literally just came out of years of abuse. That someone can look at you and instantly fall in love with you, no matter how broken and unworthy of love you think you are. You never, ever had to earn that love. It was always here to begin with.

It’d break Chimera Ant Arc completely, it’d break Killua’s belief that he was unworthy of staying by Gon’s side and that he had to earn his place. Because he was always loved and never had to earn his right to stay by Gon, because Gon wanted him there all along. 

And that is a beautiful, deeply symbolic meaning that would complement Killua’s character arc perfectly.

It’d be Togashi showing trauma survivors that you can heal and love yourself, learn how love someone else and be loved in return. 

Showing trauma survivors that you don’t have to prove your worth to be loved. That just like Killua, even if you came out of years of abuse, a broken, scared person, you’re always worthy of love. That you’re worthy of love at any stage of your healing phase. That you’re worthy of love no matter how broken you feel you are. 

Someone will always love you and accept you for who you are. 

Anyways !! Thank you for reading this !! Those two headcanons are really precious to me and I really do believe they could come true. Because it’d make sense in so many ways ! 

I know it’s hard to imagine such a thing happening, because queer representation has always been ambiguous that it’s hard to fathom a manga being openly gay, but I really want to be optimistic about it. We got the subtext, the author interested in LGBT-rep, the positive narrative and virtually no risk of being censored. 

So I want to stay optimistic on this and believe that we’ll get a romantic love confession as a way to canonize their relationship, and that it’ll become evident one way or another that Gon fell in love with Killua first.

Thanks for reading !! 

I just wanna say I love your blog but I just wanna know would you ever be interested in writing yandere meruem

I’m not finished with the Arc yet, but I feel now confident enough to write about them. Hope I did you justice with that. For the royal guards I went with the scenario where they somehow managed to survive because I don’t think they would get obsessed with someone else as long as the king is still alive. Their devotion for him would keep them from falling for anyone else. That’s at least what I believe.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, sadism, controlling Yandere, strict Yandere, mentions of kidnapping, death, stalking

Chimera Ant Arc Hc’s

Kite

🤡Kite is shown as a very cold and blunt person, but I can actually see him as someone who’s really shy around his darling since he never felt such emotions before. He knows that he isn’t supposed to feel this way, making him the aware type. He also is absolutely whipped for his darling, making him a lovestruck one as well.

🤡I can also imagine him as an overprotective one. He didn’t grow up under the most ideal circumstances and normally is ready to let someone die, but that doesn’t count for his darling. Nothing should ever harm them!

🤡He’s very calm when it comes to his darling interacting with other people and let’s them most of the time talk to whoever they want to. But if someone gets to friendly with the s/o or makes them uncomfortable he’ll step in and tell the person bluntly to go away. He looks very intimidating whilst saying that so most people do what he says.

🤡He tries to be reasonable with the people, knowing that it would get him in trouble if he just kills everyone. He only kills someone when they harmed the s/o, mentally or physically. That’s one of the few times were he gets really enraged and also really disappointed with himself for not being able to protect them.

🤡I believe he would only kidnap them if they rejected him or they got hurt whilst he wasn’t with them. Then he would become incredibly paranoid and kidnap them. He feels bad for doing this, but he can’t do anything against it. But with enough time and convincing from your side he might be willing to let you out again.

🤡From this list a more harmless one who just wants to keep you safe even though his ways of doing so are sometimes a bit extreme. But he’s a very understanding Yandere who tries to suppress his Yandere side for as long and much as possible. He doesn’t want to scare you.

Neferpitou

🐈Neferpitou is a possessive one and obsessive one. They have some cat gene in them and so they are naturally fascinated with their darling, having a cat-like curiosity and wanting to know more about them. One of the most possessive out there especially after losing their king. No way they’ll let something like this happen again!!

🐈I can also imagine them as a bit of a cruel kind since they treat the s/o like a pet, punishing them when they don’t behave, cuddling and treating them when they please them and keeping them sometimes literally on a leash. They think they just protect the s/o from any wild humans, seeing it as taking a weak animal in and taking care of it what makes them the slightest bit delusional. But also an overprotective one. As mentioned Neferpitou lost their king what will increase their overprotectiveness a hundred times.

🐈It isn’t like they let their darling anywhere outside so no need to feel jealous. But if someone will somehow come anywhere near the darling for whatever reason this person will see a growling cat with a more than just sinister and enraged aura towering over them, ready to tear them to pieces. They also feel jealous when the s/o doesn’t pay attention to them, doesn’t matter what it was, Neferpitou will get rid of it.

🐈Pitou kills everyone who knows about the existence of their darling. No one should know that the s/o exists, this will reduce the danger of their darling being attacked by an enemy. Neferpitou has no mercy with anyone. Worst part about it is that they’ll come home covered in blood and want to cuddle their darling. They’ll tilt their head confused when the darling starts to cry when they see them, tainted in blood. Did they do something wrong?

🐈The moment they became interested in the darling was the moment they were doomed. Neferpitou most likely killed the whole village they lived in to ensure that no one knows about the s/o. After that they dragged them somewhere far away from any human to just keep them for themself.

🐈This really depends on your behavior. If you behave well then Neferpitou will be in a good mood and they’ll spoil you with affection and praises, after all a good pet deserves to be treated well. But when you don’t behave Pitou will get angry after a while and punish you because a bad pet needs to get punished in order to learn to behave. But Neferpitou can be really charming if they want too, cats have a very special charm on them and this counts for them as well. They just want to be a good owner with you as their cute little pet.

Shaiapouf

🎻I think that Shaiapouf will change his Yandere type over time, but let’s start with what type he is during the first period of time. Obsessive, delusional and strict. He didn’t expect to fall for a human and felt disgusted at himself at first. How dare he fall for a human?!?! Disgraceful!! He most likely saw a flash of perfection and beauty in them and he kept this image in his head, wanting to know more about them and what made them so special. He expected them to behave and would lash out at them when they went against the perfect picture he had about them in his mind, punishing them for their behavior. Also a manipulative one, guilt tripping his darling and wrapping them up with lies to ensure they behave and don’t run away.

🎻But the more time he spent with them, the more he changed. He was still obsessive, manipulative and delusional, but now he thought of everything his darling did as perfection, no need to punish them anymore. He gained also the traits lovestruck, worshipper and clingy. This guy’s absolutely enamored with the s/o, seeing them as his new queen/king he has to serve. He’ll stick to their side, no matter what and is also very touchy. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, he does it all.

🎻Just like Pitou he keeps his darling somewhere far away from any humans since he doesn’t trust them. Every human, except his wonderful darling of course, is some savage animal in his eyes, completely uncultivated. I think he doesn’t really get jealous that much, but if his darling tells him they know someone who can do something better than him then he gets ‘jealous’. Of course he’s also more than disappointed with himself, feeling like he failed, but he’ll also make sure to do better the next time to show his worth.

🎻He is willing to kill anyone who even dares to look at the s/o. Lowlife like this doesn’t deserve to have the honor to look at them! Shaiapouf thinks of it as protecting his queen/king from any danger, his paranoia is pretty horrible.

🎻He won’t see it as kidnapping. He sees it more as saving the s/o from wasting any time with those savage things out there. He’s completely paranoid, he already lost his king to humans and will make sure to not lose the darling to humans as well. At first he won’t let them out at all, but after he changed his Yandere type he’s more willing to let them out. But only if he’s with them and only if they don’t go anywhere near humans.

🎻His delusions are the problem. At the beginning because he held this perfect picture of you and manipulated you into your perfect self and after his change because he saw himself as a servant who’s only duty it is to protect and spoil you. Arguing won’t be from any use, you’ll just exhaust yourself like this. But the worshipper Shaiapouf is definitely better than the strict Shaiapouf because now he doesn’t hurt you anymore and has infinite patience with you.

Methuthuyoupi

💥Youpi is more of a stalker, choosing to just watch the s/o from the distance. He uses this chance to also find out as much as possible about his darling what makes him an obsessive one as well. Every move they do makes him fall deeper into his obsession with them.

💥Also the overprotective one. He failed his king and he won’t fail his darling too. Surprisingly can him imagine as a lovestruck one as well. Everything his s/o does is just so adorable to him!

💥He doesn’t get jealous, he’s just overprotective over the darling. Since he stalks them all the time he knows who they’re talking and interacting with during the day. He just watches for the most part and won’t feel jealous, letting them do what they want. But that changes the moment he witnesses someone hurting his darling...

💥Yeah, if he ever witnesses someone hurting his darling, doesn’t matter if it’s mentally or physically, he’ll become a mad man and will destroy that person. Just imagine the last thing you see in your life is his crazed expression... That’s truly terrifying!

💥As long as he’s able to protect the s/o from the distance I think he’ll be fine with letting them walk freely around. Something really extreme would have to happen for him to kidnap you, the only example being the s/o nearly getting killed with him not being able to protect them. Then he’ll resort to kidnapping in order to protect them.

💥From all of the royal guards he’s the most tame one. He has no human DNA in him so he doesn’t really realize that his feelings aren’t normal, but that’s all. He just wants to protect you from every danger and is the most willing to let you walk around freely, but of course he’ll watch you from the distance, protecting you from any harm.

Meruem

👑Similar to Shaiapouf his type will change over time. At first he’s a strict, cold, cruel, obsessive and possessive one. He’s the king and expects the s/o to treat him like one. In his mind they should be thankful that he can’t kill them and that they should feel honored that he even pays them so much attention and he will punish them if they don’t act accordingly. The fact that he feels something for them was a surprise for him and so he wanted to know anything about them that was there to know, feeling like he would owe them if he would figure everything about them out. He won’t let anyone else have his darling, he’s the king and if he wants something then it’s only his!

👑But with time he became the possessive, obsessive, clingy, overprotective and soft type. He couldn’t think straight anymore when he wasn’t with his darling anymore and so he just kept them by his side all the time and became a much more nicer person to them, treating them more gentle and caring. He sees his darling as someone fragile and that’s the reason why he’s so protective over them. Nothing will ever harm them. Especially when Pouf is anywhere near he’ll be on high alert and keep a sharp eye on him.

👑He killed every human in the palace and since he keeps you always with him there’s no need to get jealous. No one would even dare to talk or look at you. But if you ,however, show some interest in one of his guards because they are the only ones you see besides him he’ll get jealous really fast and if you don’t want him to kill them it’s the best to quickly start paying attention to him.

👑I don’t need to answer this, it’s obvious. He kills anyone who dares to even mention his darling’s name. If the s/o tells him about a person who gave them troubles in the past or if he finds it out on his own then he’ll make sure to sent his royal guards out to find this person, planning on giving them an agonizing death so if you don’t want him to kill someone you cried over years ago don’t tell him anything. He’ll find out anyways.

👑At first he tried to kill the darling and failed, then he tried to avoid them and failed. That’s when he came to the conclusion that keeping them is the best thing to do. At first he didn’t let them out of their room, but after he softened up he let them walk through the palace, but only if he was with them since Shaiapouf was a problem. The only reason he didn’t kill that guy was because the s/o begged him to not do it.

👑At first he was a truly terrifying Yandere, scaring the living shit out of you and hurting you whenever you started to annoy him, but after he changed this took a 180 degree flip and suddenly he became so much better and understanding with you and also stopped hurting you.

✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 

  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

You and me, Me and you

Kite x reader

warnings : mentions of nsfw, mentions of death, slight angst

word count : 2.k

Authors note : I have a problem with commas, despite being a straight A student in my English classes, I still forget where I should and should not put a comma so please don’t mind if they’re in the wrong spot.

You met Kite when you were quite young. You were thrown out on the streets at an early age and had just been caught stealing. They would’ve beaten you if Kite hadn’t saved you, swooping down from the rooftops and distracting them. 

“GO!” the boy in blue yelled. He looked a few years older with long, snowy white hair that went down to his waist and a cap that helped cover his eyes. That’s all you saw about him though, as you quickly turned and followed his order. The mysterious boy followed, eventually passing you as you both ran from the townsfolk. 

You stopped a ways away, breathing heavily. “T-Thank you. My name is Y/n.”

The boy glanced down, seeming hesitant to tell you who he was. After a bit of catching your breaths, however, he spoke up, “Kite. My name is Kite.”  He continued to observe you before giving you an offer, “Would you...like to come stay with me? You don’t seem very good at being able to live on the streets.” 

Your eyes sparkled, “Really? You’d let me? I was thrown out not too long ago...so I don’t know much.” 

Kite nodded, motioning for you to follow him. You walked for a while before coming up to an opening. Upon entering, you noticed it was a sewer, which didn’t seem to be that bad. After a few more turns, you came to a dead end where two or three animals were laying around a small spot on the floor with some dirty blankets piled up. 

A grin broke out onto your face, “This is so cool!” In return, Kite himself gave you a small smile. 

“This is where I stay and now that you’ll be staying too, no one can know about this place alright? From now on it’s just you and me.” 

You looked up at your savior and smiled a big, bright smile, “Me and you!”

----

After a few years of living together, someone was waiting for you and Kite when you got back from getting food that day. The man introduced himself as Ging Freecss, a pro hunter. Kite had started pestering the man to teach him to be one, and after a while you did too. Ging eventually agreed, although you weren’t his “Official” students or anything. Soon, it was time for you to take the hunter exam. 

“I’m so nervous, Kite!” 

Said boy rolled his eyes at you, “It’ll be fine Y/n. We were trained by one of the best hunters in the world. We got this.” Kite stopped walking when he noticed you weren’t following, stepping back to stand next to you again. 

“I know, it’s just...what if you pass and I don’t? I don’t...I don’t wanna be left behind.” Your voice wavered as you looked down to hide the tears that were forming. “I feel like I just found you and I don’t wanna lose you.” 

A hand came down on your shoulder, “You won’t lose me.” Before you knew it you were pulled into a warm, brief hug. Looking up, you saw Kite give you a confident smile, “It’s you and me, remember?” 

You nodded, smiling back at your best friend, “Me and you.”

----

You both, not surprisingly, passed the exam with flying colors. You were very excited to relax and celebrate a little, but your mentor had different ideas. Your and Kite’s next “official” hunter task was to find Ging. He gave the two of you his hunter’s license and set off to go “hide”. 

“Find one of the world’s best hunters? Is he insane?!” You were, to put it simply, not happy. You and Kite had just passed the hunter exam, which took a month or two, and now you were being forced to play hide and seek? Seriously? 

“We’ll find him, Y/n.” Kite was rummaging through your guys’ stuff, getting ready for the hard journey ahead of you. 

“We will? In case you haven’t realized, he’s literally-” 

“One of the best hunters in the world. Yes, I know. Which is exactly why we’re gonna find him.” He stood, walking over to grab your hand, “You and me.” 

You sighed, but smiled nonetheless, “Me and you.” 

----

After a few months of hard work and sleepless nights, you and Kite had located Ging. The trip wasn’t in vain as you’d thought it’d be, as you had met a lot of friends along the way. There wasn’t anything you really needed to do after hunting down your former mentor, so the two of you finally had time to relax and celebrate how far you’d gotten. 

“Well Kite, you were right. We did it.” You were impressed with yourself, even more so with Kite. You never thought as a kid this is where you’d be, but you weren’t complaining. 

“Y/n.”

You blinked, looking over at Kite in confusion at his sudden serious tone. “Kite?”

He stood to his full height, walking over to you and holding his hand out. As soon as you grabbed it, Kite pulled you in close, to the point where you could feel his breath fanning on your face. “Y/n...I never thought I’d have someone to care about until you came along. These past years have been amazing to say the least so...I uh...would you be my girlfriend?” 

You stared at him in shock, noting his pink tinted cheeks and downcast eyes. He was just about to pull away from you when you grabbed the sides of his face, “Kite…” His eyes shot up to yours and you smiled, tearing up slightly. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” 

Kite’s eyes widened, before he brought you into a kiss. It was kinda messy and definitely inexperienced, but you loved it. This is what you’ve wanted for years, although much to your dismay, he pulled away and leaned in to rest his forehead on yours. 

“You and me.” He nuzzled your noses together, going in to brush his lips against yours.

You brought him in for another kiss, “Me and you.” 

----

The night Kite made love to you was beautiful. The area was surrounded by trees with a crystal clear pond in the middle, sparkling due to the starry sky. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” 

Carding your hands through his long hair, you smiled, “I’ve never wanted anything more than this.” The pure love that shone through the smile Kite gave you was heart melting. He gently pushed you backwards, laying you down on the soft forest floor. 

Kite leaned in, brushing his lips against yours, looking in your eyes with an abundance of emotion. His touch was soft, gentle as the two of you undressed each other in the light of the moon. It gave the impression that Kite was glowing, his beautiful white hair and pale skin sparkling in an ethereal way. 

“You and me.” Kite’s gaze was intense, something you wanted to get closer to and shy away from at the same time. The way he was making sure you really wanted this almost brought tears to your eyes. 

You’ve never loved anyone more than you loved the man on top of you. “Me and you.” 

----

You and Kite had really always been together, you couldn’t even remember the days before you met him anymore. So while this didn’t come as a surprise to anyone that knew the two of you, it still made you shocked and overjoyed. 

“Y/n,” 

You’re heart rate accelerated at nearly an alarming speed.

“We have been together for as long as I can remember and it’s always been the two of us. Maybe that’s why this won’t mean anything to a lot of people but it means something to me. So would you, Y/n L/n,” Kite looked up from his position on the ground, pulling out a glittering silver band, “Marry me?” 

You couldn’t fight the smile that overtook your face, immediately dropping down to be eye level with your Fiance. “Yes!” You weren’t able to say anything else as Kite basically launched himself into your embrace, the two of you falling to the ground while laughing happily. 

Kite pulled himself off of you, “I know it’s not much but…” he flashed the inside of the ring to you. Engraved on the side was ‘You and me, Me and you.’ 

Tears sprang, and you choked out a laugh. “Kite, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you laughed, whether in disbelief that you had gotten so lucky or in pure joy you couldn’t decide. 

He pulled back, grabbing your left hand and sliding the ring on. “I was gonna wear mine but I figured you would want to put it on me.” Kite pulled out an exact copy of yours, engraving and all, just a little bigger. “You and me.”

Your face was starting to hurt from all the smiling you were doing as you gently took his ring and put it on his left hand. “Me and you.” 

----

Tragedies are a given in life, you just weren’t expecting one to happen so soon. The Chimera Ant came out of nowhere, Kite taking the blow as he tried to protect the three of you. Your entire world had stopped and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

The single, torn off arm laying on the grass would haunt you for the rest of your life. Time slowed as you looked back to Kite and the thing standing next to him. Anger and blood lust engulfed you, both your and Gon’s nen spiking in rage. 

Killua knocked Gon clean out, which made you falter in your movements. 

“A wise decision Killua,” 

your eyes snapped to Kite, 

“Now take Gon and get outta here!” 

Killua turned and ran but you stayed rooted to the floor as Kite summoned crazy slots. You couldn’t leave Kite, you wouldn’t. However when his gaze locked onto yours, you swear you heard him say something. 

“You and me.” 

You choked on the air you were breathing as tears started running down your face, shaking your head violently. Number 2 was picked and his scythe materialized. His eyes told what more he couldn’t say and you felt your heart shatter. 

“Me and you.” You turned and ran, sobbing as you quickly caught up with Killua and grabbed both him and Gon. You didn’t let go of the boys or stop running until you reached the checkpoint entry of the NGL. 

After a few hunters arrived, you set off without a word, going back to the spot you had regrettably left Kite. When you arrived, nothing was there. Not even his arm. That gave you a shred of hope but the dread in your stomach wouldn’t disappear, even as you screamed out in pure despair, “KITE!” 

----

You, Gon, and Killua were taken to the place they were holding Kite. Shoot and Knuckle had found him a couple days ago, however, the three of you had to wait and were watched to determine if you could handle seeing him. Shoot released Kite from his nen cage and Gon was the first one to walk forward, getting slapped around by what looked like Kite but you knew it really wasn’t.  

Gon had left the room, his promise of fixing the man in front of you lingering in the air. It felt like you were paralyzed, stuck having to watch the man you loved stumble around like a puppet. 

“Y/n...”

“Leave.”

“But-”

“I said LEAVE!” 

Everyone filed out of the room at your request and as soon as the door shut, you broke down into sobs. What did they do to your love? You glanced up at Kite, pondering how you could get close to him without making him attack you. 

“Kite…” you forced your nen to grab a hold of him and walked forward. “Kite.” 

He started thrashing, growling at you but unable to move as your nen kept him in place. With the way he was now, you were at eye level as you reached your arms up and wrapped them around his neck. Miraculously, he stopped trying to attack as you nuzzled your cheek against his. 

“I swear, I will help Gon fix you. We still haven’t gotten married, you know. You’re...you’re still too young to go, we have our whole lives ahead of us.” You pulled away, grabbing his face, “We will fix you. I will fix you.” Leaning up, you kissed his forehead and backed away. 

Kite started thrashing around once more as you headed toward the door. 

“You and me, Me and you.” you released your nen and shut the door, hearing Kite trying to knock it down. You would fix him. Even if it killed you. 

----

It felt like years, but really it had only been around 30 minutes. You and Gon were running towards the place Kite was being held, with Pitou running in between. Again, it felt like years before you reached the large building and made your way down to Kite. What happened next made you wish you never came at all. 

“This man...This man is dead. He died in our fight.” 

There was a sharp ringing sound in your ears, and your throat closed up on its own. You watched as Kite swayed from side to side before falling to the ground face first. You heard a scream and perhaps it was yours but you paid no mind as everything started to blur. Not long after, Gon dropped to the floor.

“Kite is...dead?”

You nearly dropped as well, stumbling towards your lover and pulling him in your arms. There were no sounds as you sat with Kite draping over your lap, his head resting on your chest. Your body could not even produce the means to sob and cry out, everything was just numb. You didn’t notice when Gon and Pitou left, you stayed rooted to your spot on the floor while subconsciously rocking Kite back and forth with your body.

“Kite...it was supposed to be Me and you, remember?”

----

When Morel busted through your hospital room, saying that Kite was alive you thought you’d finally gone crazy. After his explanation though, you realized that you hadn’t lost Kite after all, even if he was in a girl’s body now. So after Gon recovered, you followed along with him to where Kite was staying. 

Gon motioned for you to go visit Kite first, so you let Spinner lead you to the room where he was in. 

“Kite? Someone’s here to see you.”

“Send them in.” His voice was higher than it had been, but still kept the rich sounding tone.

You quietly walked in, noting his back was turned toward you. He stood, maybe too soon for your liking, and turned. 

Kite now had pinkish red hair, with purple eyes and freckles. He was also...shorter? Your lips curled up, a small laugh coming from you. 

“What’s so funny, Y/n?”

You faltered at the mention of your name, finally looking into Kite’s eyes. “I’m taller now.” 

That made his lips curl up as well, “That’s what you’re worried about?” The laugh that followed was eerily familiar. 

You couldn’t stop the tears that started streaming down your face. Kite was actually here. Alive and in front of you. So why couldn’t you move?

“I know it’s weird. I look different and well...I am in a girl’s body now. But I...I hope that doesn’t make you run away from me.”

You glared, although your heart wasn’t really into it. “Seriously? We’ve been through everything together and you think I’m gonna run away just because your shape is different?” Your body moved on it’s own, wrapping your arms around Kite’s waist and lifting him up. “Idiot.” 

His laugh this time made your heart melt as you gently set him back down. The hand that caressed your features were so familiar yet so different at the same time. “You and me.” 

You smiled, fishing out Kite’s silver band from your pocket and presenting it to him, jokingly dropping down on one knee. “Me and you.” 

just wanna throw it out there, i don’t know where you watched it, but neferpitou is never referred to as her in the subs that i saw, like not even once that i can think of

Hello. Well, of course, our experiences are different.

My memory is a little hazy, but I first watched it on Kissanime (or is it Gogoanime?) several years ago. The second time watching it was on Singapore Netflix, which only has the Eng/Chinese subtitles and Japanese/Mandarin audio back in 2018/9.

Now, I cannot remember if the Kissanime referred to Pitou as a her, and the site was shut down already, though I do remember the subs referencing Pitou as a mother cat. Back then, I actually thought Pitou was a girl because of the appearance and the mother cat, until sometime a year later, I found out that the manga and anime had discrepancies.

For the Netflix one, I must say, the English subtitles are different and inaccurate (we had the full series really early). I remember rewatching this and I think they referred to Alluka as a "she" throughout, even with characters other than Killua, although they had referred to Alluka as a "brother". I had to explain to my friends because they just assumed Alluka is biologically female. I think they also used "she" for Pitou (again, this is 2 to 3 years ago, my memory is super hazy). I could check again, but currently, I'm too busy to check the episodes.

Maybe I had made a mistake with that phrasing, although I'm not sure what phrase I should use instead as data collection is still ongoing. I need to be careful when editing it, as it might affect the charts. I may have to fix the phrasing, but right now, I’m out of ideas and I’m open to anyone who have suggestions. 

Now that has gotten out of the way, let me share with you my thought processes on Pitou in this survey.

Please note that I am aware that anon just wants to tell me this information, and I am willing to take any questions and clarify anything. I am only taking this opportunity to clear up any potential questions by ensuring that everyone who is interested understands the decision I had made when it comes to Pitou, since the question is in regards to Pitou's gender.

Frankly speaking, it doesn't matter to me if Pitou is a female or male, it's just a fictional character, it's a chimera ant. I like Pitou as a character and the design, and initially, I never bothered to look at Pitou's gender due to mixed opinions about it. While some people refer to Pitou as a boy, there's someone on Reddit recently that is debating that Pitou is a woman and commented why I did not include Pitou in the hxh girls/women under the "favourite hxh girls/women" question. The Redditor also reasoned that the manga part about Pitou referring to themselves as "boku" was a mistranslation. And then there's people who are just saying chimera ants do not have biological sex (but we see the Chimera Ant Queen giving birth so??)

It's honestly extremely confusing to me and that's why I never bothered to look into it. Pitou is just a character that I know and love. And I never cared about whether people prefer addressing Pitou as a girl or boy, or something else.

Until I had to make this survey.

The only reason why I categorised ships into het, BL and Yuri is that there are over 50 pairings on Hunterpedia. For example, if people indicate that they only ship het ships, then all the ships featuring a girl and a boy will be presented in the next question. The BL and Yuri ships won't appear. This is designed so that people do not have to go through the trouble of scrolling through an incredibly long list of ships just to pick their favourites. Again, it's a technical reason.

However, this was a problem for Pitou because well, I didn't actually bother to look up Pitou's gender previously.

At first, I went to look at what people who refer to the manga had to say, and most of them reasoned it's because Pitou used "boku" which was a masculine(?) term. Now, I can't read Japanese but this is what people used for the rationale. It's just that Pitou seemed to have breasts and more feminine in the anime.

So initially, I wanted to list Pitou as a boy in that shipping section.

The only reason why I changed my mind, is because many people had only watched the 2011 anime version for the pre-Dark Continent Exploration arc. Even in my survey, only 168 had read the manga before the Dark Continent Exploration arc, but 403 people had watched the 2011 anime.

And as far as I know, from my observation, most people who had only watched the 2011 anime refer to Pitou as a girl (even if they know how Pitou is presented in the manga). And when they ship Pitou with someone, they usually view Pitou as a catgirl or something. Or at least, in the fanarts I've seen.

I did not want the case where people who ship Pitou with someone has to adjust their "thinking" when choosing the list of ships.

Those were pretty much my thoughts when I decided to list Pitou as a girl in the shipping section. And I'm not sure if that affected my memory when it comes to thinking that the anime referred to Pitou as a she/her.

Pitou is ambiguous but the anime refers to Pitou as a "her" a lot. Therefore, listed as a girl.

This is why I came up with these two sentences. Again, I am not very particular about this detail, but for the sake of technical reasons, I did what I had to do. You also need to understand that for texts in a survey, you have to make them as concise as possible.

Which we move on to the other comment I had about not including Pitou in the list of hxh girls/women. It's tied to my initial decision of listing Pitou as a boy. I made a tough decision to just... not include all Chimera Ants in that section, since they aren't human anyway. The only character that wasn't human that I included in that question is Nanika, but that's because Nanika is tied to Alluka (I listed Alluka as a girl. I know certain people won't agree with me. Killua says Alluka is a girl, and that's that). Besides, there was already a question regarding ranking Chimera Ants. So I think it's fair not to include Chimera Ants, although I do feel really bad because I think there are people who feels that their favourite female hxh character is Pitou. 

Please understand that the decisions to include and what not to include can be difficult, in certain questions or characters when it comes to this. I cannot make everyone satisfied with the survey and I don't intend to make that promise. However, I will try my very best to make it as good as it can be. 

I am going to address this in my report, in regards to Pitou and my decisions when it comes to this character in the survey. I need to look for the manga panel where Pitou uses "boku" so that I can properly explain it in my report.

Zoldyck sibling analysis? I think so 😙😌

Ok where to start? I honestly love the Zoldyck siblings so much, Milluki aside, I think the other four are absolutely so enjoyable to watch on screen. I could sit here and talk about how the deuteragonist, Killua, is just about one of the most incredible anime characters ever. But that’s for another time. As I have recently been noticing the more I rewatch HxH, the more I realize that the younger the sibling is in the family, the more freedom they make in their lives. Think about it... Killua was the first to rebel and he inspired Kalluto to leave Kikyo’s side and join the Phantom Troupe in search for friendship. However, this shows just how hard Illumi had it and my heart simply goes out to him even more. Most of the time when I here Illumi’s name, I immediately think of Hisoka and how I love their relationship more then anything else in the entire world 😵. But Illumi was the first born, the lab rat, so growing up he had no other siblings to lean on or seek comfort from. He was forced to depend on his parents which is probably what Kikyo and Silva wanted him to do, the more he relied on them, the more they could manipulate him. But it’s because he had no other siblings or friends to save him, that he succumbed to his parents wishes. The other siblings turned out better, (besides Milluki ofc🙄 ) because they had each other. Illumi was never supposed to be a child that Silva and Kikyo cared about, his sole purpose for being alive was so Silva could test the limits of a child. They never cared if the torture ended up killing Illumi, because that would just show them what they couldn’t do on the heir, once he was born. It’s very obvious Illumi had it the hardest out of the 5, but that doesn’t mean I sympathize for him more then the others. Starting off with Alluka. Even though the adorable 11 year old seems happy no matter what, she too was a victim of the Zoldyck’s neglect. She may not have been physically tortured but she was constantly degraded and misgendered, not to mention she was locked in a prison-like room and was considered a ‘thing’ or ‘object’ that was not a part of the family. Not like she wanted to be apart of such a horrible family or call herself a Zoldyck, but nonetheless it still hurt. The very fact that she was perfectly satisfied and happy to call Killua the only human who truly loves her, goes to show what a true beam of happiness and light she really is. I wish I could’ve seen much more of Alluka and Nanika in the anime, but hopefully we’ll get some good DC content that explains how Nanika found Alluka in the first place when it comes to the manga. If my theory is correct I think Maha/Zigg brought Nanika back with them from the DC and essentially it’s all their fault for ‘infesting’ Alluka, but I love Nanika as well so I’m glad that both Nanika and Alluka coexist. Now let’s move on to Kalluto...

Kalluto is one of the characters in HxH that I was dying to see more off, his reserved personality makes him incredibly intriguing. He does get a cameo in the Chimera Ant arc and has a badass scene where he uses his nen ability to take down one of the Chimera Ants. He does this with the Troupe and we see in the Greed Island arc that he replaced Hisoka as number 4. However Kalluto isn’t once seen interacting with Killua, he just observes from a distance. The only family members we see him cling to are Kikyo and Illumi. In the following photo below, we see that Kikyo and Kalluto actually do love/ tolerate each other.

But we never get to see if Kalluto is actually rooting for Killua or not, he is the only sibling and Zoldyck who doesn’t take any sides in the Chairman Election arc. He talks mysteriously and somehow learned very impressive nen way before Killua did. In the short scene where Kalluto talks about Alluka, I think his inner monologue can actually be interpreted as something else. At first glance I thought Kalluto meant he wanted to free Alluka when he says, “I’ll get my brother back,” not to mention the screen zooms in on Alluka. But after further thinking, it’s possible he’s referring to Killua. Maybe he means that he can get Killua to return home and resume his assassin duties so that there is harmony in the Zoldyck household. One thing is for sure, Kalluto despises and is extremely jealous of Alluka. Being the youngest, Kalluto is drawn towards Killua and wants his brotherly love just like Alluka gets. To be honest I think every Zoldyck family member is jealous of Alluka. They all want to be worthy of Killua’s spectacular, beautiful, compassion and love that he harbors toward his little sister and Gon. I’m sure being another manipulator in the family meant that individuality is hard to come across for Kalluto. We even see him cross dressing because he knows it makes Kikyo happy when he fights in her old fashion. So he basically does what is told, no questions asked. I have to love Kalluto because he is so young but yet more mature and aware then Milluki and Illumi are. I’m sure if he just told Killua how he felt, Killua being the amazing older brother he is, would take Kalluto under his wing and show him that he loves him too. Plus it’d be adorable if Kalluto and Alluka formed a better relationship as well. We know Alluka has the love, but Kalluto does not reciprocate. I can only hope that Kalluto found the self worth and individuality he was looking for when he joined the Troupe. Now the only question remaining is will he place his loyalties towards the Troupe or the Zoldycks?

Finally we have Milluki. I honestly can not stand this boy at all. He is lazy and although he may be smart, he’s a kiss up and as Zeno says “he is bright but also incredibly stupid.” He is only seen either whipping Killua, sucking up and whining to Kikyo, or eating while watching vulgar anime’s. He does not look the part of a Zoldyck and I find it quite funny how Killua always calls him piggy. Who’s to say why Milluki is the jerk that he is, but I assume it’s because he isn’t the heir so growing up Illumi did not comfort and help him in anyway. Lastly there is Silva and Zeno. This post js really just for talking about the silblings but I’ll address my opinions on Silva as well. It’s canon that Killua respects Silva and we do see Silva tell Killua he’s allowed to escape the mansion and travel the world with Gon. But we can not forget that Silva is still Killua’s abuser and most likely the one who forced Illumi to plant a needle in Killua’s head. Plus he can’t pick and choose his favorites. He’s a hypocrite for letting Killua live life to his hearts content but not letting the same thing go for the others. I will admit that watching Silva and Zeno fight Chrollo along with some Chimera Ants is indeed very entertaining. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t cruel. All and all the Zoldycks are full of twisted love and manipulation but it’s thanks to characters such as Gon, Hisoka, and the Phantom Troupe that make the siblings personalities even more vibrant and enjoyable.

That’s all for today! 🥰

Let’s Celebrate Hunter x Hunter’s Two Year Hiatus Anniversary!  Yay!

Which I’m pretty that was either yesterday or today!  Our longest HxH hiatus yet, I’m almost completely damn sure.  Hahahaha....ha.  Togashi, I got faith in you coming back and giving us more chapters and someday...SOMEDAY finishing this awesome, amazing series.  

With Killua and Gon reuniting (and Killugon hopefully becoming for sure officially canon, no doubt!), the Main 4 in general reuniting, and just lots of amazing focus, spotlight/limelight (Be main characters (again in some cases)), star and event time for them, and just closure to to the Main 4 (all amazing characters) just closure in general/at all.  I also really miss them and I'm excited to see all the of the Main 4, and really hoping Killua and Gon come back proper since I super love them.  

So yeah, I’m just going to have faith Togashi to to do that and all more.  He is an amazing creator.  Till then, Im just going drown myself in the anime(s), current manga stuff, and fan (fics, art, meta, etc.) stuff.  Esp. fan stuff about the Main 4 (and all my other favs too.  And just a lot of other HxH characters too, but esp. the Main 4), esp. Killua.  He is my favorite, though I love all of the Main 4 a lot.  

So yes, let’s celebrate HxH 2 year hiatus, cry, and just have faith in Togashi to come back and keep being awesome (Please, Togashi)!  At least I am, or I’m going to go insane.  Ahhh, the everlasting suffering of being an HxH fan.  It is moments like these that give me even more respect and love for Pouf and his pov on suffering.  All the while being the drama queen, violin-playing, chimera ant royal guard he is.  

This post was spurred on by a HxH 2 year hiatus video I found on YT (with a Killua after Gon lashes out at him in the CA arc thumbnail even!  I prefect way to show crushing HxH hiatus despair!), until seeing that video I didn’t realize it had been 2 years!  I was trying not to think about it.  And I’m still gonna try not to think about it, for the sake of my sanity.  

Still, I have been an HxH fan for about a decade; no way I’m ever jumping ship, I’m in this for the long haul!  I hope other fans are too as well.  But remember, having distractions are good.  For me all the HxH fan content by the lovely fans really helps do that, so I bet that will help other people (like HxH fans)!  Have a nice day/night, I hope this somewhat hyperbolic rant/desperate plea wasn’t too much for y’all.

list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people

Tagged by the lovely @chocochipbiscuit . I’m a little late to the game, but let’s see what I can come up with.  In no particular order:  1. Komugi (Hunter x Hunter)    A blind teenage Gungi champion (like chess but infinitely harder)-- hold on, did you hear me when I said she was blind? She beats the shit out of everyone at this board game without seeing a thing. She’s the breadwinner for her whole family, but they don’t even care about her. She gets sacrificed to the Chimera Ant King because he’s bored, and then she’s so damn talented and nice that he ends up developing real human feelings and not murdering everyone. TBH one of my favorite things about her is her design: big old pigtails, dark bushy eyebrows, and snot running out of her nose constantly. She’s not a beauty but you love her, and I cry all the time.  2. Moira Brown (Fallout 3)     She’s just so damn cute and cheerful! She’s a trader, inventor, and probably a lot else, and she always has something fun and nice to say. I just love how positive she is, even though (or maybe because) it often comes off as childish or purposefully obtuse. I think a lot of Fallout fans find her annoying, so it makes me happy that if you bomb Megaton, she’s the only one that survives. =D  3. Cassandra Pentaghast (Dragon Age)     Be still my heart! Cassandra is such an underrated character. I love her sharp somewhat-masculine design. She’s a hardened warrior with a strict personality!-- but when you get to know her, she’s very sweet and has deep insecurities. She’s extremely sincere, which is one of my favorite things in a character. Also, she has a charming secret romantic side. <3 Again, I think a lot of people don’t like her, and that’s a real shame.  4. Nice Robin (One Piece)     Imagine having such a rough childhood and still being a good person at heart. Of course one of my favorite things about Robin is that she’s not an overtly sweet bleeding-heart type; she’s calculating and logical, and polite, kind, and loyal. She’s goal-oriented with a very chill personality-- probably so easy to get along with, although she’d call you out on your shit too! But she wouldn’t let that ruin your friendship. Also, she has a very morbid sense of a humor, and a weakness for cute things. (Just, what she considers cute might not always be what everyone else does.) 5. Hatori Chise (Ancient Magus Bride)     A relatable depression-feels character. Everything went wrong in her childhood, and it’s obvious that her mistreatment still affects her all the time, which drives the whole story. Even though the anime is about magic and monster romance, the real story is about Chise (with Elias) learning to grow past all their traumas, and holy crap it touches me so deep. So many lessons to learn from her, watching her go from having no sense of self worth, no desire to live, to awkwardly forging friendships and helping herself through helping others. All my cries! (Also, her design just... simple and perfect (and redheaded).)  6. Aloy (Horizon Zero Dawn)     Do you know I think I’d die if Aloy smiled at me once? I’d also be okay if she bossed me around a little. I mean, can you get any more wildly beautiful? Not to mention saving the world pretty much single-handedly. She doesn’t take shit from anyone, and never gives lip service. She’s harsh! But she’s also kind. She gives people what they need, not what they want. As all her would-be suitors know, that’s a very attractive quality (especially when you’re a man who’s floundering in his own misery and failure and she just swoops out of nowhere to stylishly rescue you).  7. Rosalind Lutece (Bioshock Infinite)     An absolute paragon, pioneering practically impossible science in the 1920′s. She was responsible for the floating city, for traveling between dimensions, and, well, for the whole game. So absolutely stylish and no-nonsense, but with a clear sense of humor. And then there’s Robert... Rosalind is so literally peerless that the only person she really respects is her mirror image, ‘separated by a single chromosome’. I find them very beautiful and tragic.  8. Honda Tohru (Fruits Basket)     Can you say role model? I have been charmed by Tohru since my teenage years, when my mother had just died and I felt like... how was Tohru so kind and good and optimistic when she’d just lost her mother and her house? Every setback was like an opportunity for her to better herself or help others. She always always tried to see the best in every situation, and I will always admire that~!  9. Yamato Rinko (Ore Monogatari)     A girl with some taste! When the main character Takeo saves her from being groped on a train, she immediately falls for him, as one should! Everyone else thinks he’s big and scary and off-putting, but she knows how kind and sincere he really is, and appreciates him like he deserves! She clearly tries her best to be a good person, and it’s wonderful how much she and Takeo are on the same page (even though he’s a little dense sometimes). Also, she’s a killer pastry chef! Those cakes, man.  10. reserved because I swear there was someone right on the tip of my brain and I’m gonna remember later, I know it  No tagging, but please feel free to do this yourself. I know you wanna talk about some awesome ladies! 

He would've made Pouf his bitch please I'm dying of laughter you're not even wrong like loyality to his king might be ingrained in his DNA but constant arousal too lmfao,, I think the latest arc on that cruise ship thingy didn't get included because mr. author wrote it after the release of the anime 🤔 and the arc isn't even complete,, oh btw have you read that Hisoka vs Chrollo fight? 👀👀 I sure as hell wish that they'd at least animate this part oof it's so good,, ngl I can't stand the rest of Killua's family, though Gramps is kinda cool too (and Illumi's just whack 😂) and omg yes Kurapika in yorknew arc is BADASS, pure king behaviour I tell you and when he and Hisoka met up? Both smart and calculating and with their own ambitions? I swear those two together could do literally anything love it, I ate that shit right up heh 😂 (Kurapika in the succession contest arc too, chef's kiss),, hmm my fave arc 🤔 I watched the hunter examination way too often and I still love it, on the other hand the heavens arena arc was pretty cool too (hhh Hisoka really do be hot) let alone the yorknew one,, probably those three me thinks (definitely not the chimera ant arc 😂✋🏻) and no I haven't watched it but as you seem to have immaculate taste imma just go watch it 👀👀 - 🍐

Omfggg every time Pouf came on screen and was like my king !!!!! I'm on my knees for u, I'll do whatever u want !!!😍 I was like Bro shut up and let him play gungi omg 🙄🙄 (but,,, Pouf is me, meruem is hisoka & komugi is illumi 😔💔) ah yeaa I heard the anime caught up w the manga so they stopped but :(( Mr author & miss animator we're starving for new content,,, pls.. <3 OMG NOO I HAVENT YET 😭😭😭 I really want to but I have uni work to do atm cjskak I might start reading it this weekend but my holidays are kinda packed atm :( I heard it was a rly good fight, but it was kinda weird ?? so I'm excited to read it :D the gramps is cool omg but if they go against killua & alluka in any way I'm throwing hands 😤 illumi... he can get his 👁️👁️looking ass out of here byeee -> 🚪🚪🚪 DUDE FRRRR KURAPIKA&HISOKA WORLD DOMINATIONNN🗣️🗣️🗣️ there's nothing those two wouldn't be able to achieve omfg.. the Power🤩 smart, strong & sexy, they're literally the whole package🥰 (omg I rly wanna start reading the manga for it now 😭 I could probs catch up since the chapters get released so slowly as well fhsjak) duUUDE yes omg those two arcs were Beautiful ! (As soon as hisoka destroyed that guy's arms before the exam I was like... I want Him. He's the one 🤩😍🤪) we're rly just like any arc w hisoka is the best arc 🥰😤💜 hdjsk chimera arc begONEEE (omg I read some article that said chimera was the best arc like ?? Ma'am did u even watch it or) DUDE YOU GOTTTAAAAAA GO WATCH IT OML. I binged the entire thing in one night, it was so mf good. The story is so interesting already and the animation is STUNNINGGGGGG. Also : hot guys 😍🤤🥵

Shoutout to @tiburme for tagging me~!

Rules: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things and then tag 10 people.

Oh, massive spoilers below btw.

1. Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter: My favorite shounen protagonist by far. At first you think he’s your typical happy-go-lucky bouncy boye :D who definitely doesn’t have abandonment issues or self-destructive tendencies that literally actually almost kill him later on, and then, uwu... The amount of complexity that Gon has as a protagonist who hardly ever has stand-alone development is nothing short of astounding. How during the Chimera Ant Art his characterization totally dips off to the side to become an unknowable entity even to the audience, while still retaining amazing character development regardless -- not to mention how brilliantly daring his decision to threaten Komugi is that nearly every other author with such a happy-go-lucky protagonist would shy away from in cowardice -- is absolutely surreal to me. The more I think and write about Gon, the more I fall in love with him. If I ever meet his father, and by that I mean his real father, the creator, Togashi, I have nothing else to say but,,, well done, sir.

2. Tanjirou Kamado from Demon Slayer: I’m really hoping the Demon Slayer movie comes out soon because I absolutely love this boy and how charming he is. Unlike most protagonists, not just of shounen anime but of seemingly macho story lines that involve power-ups and training in general, Tanjirou never lets go of his kind heart. (Welp, except maybe in some cases when he’s facing the Upper Moons later on -- I haven’t caught up yet -- but WE’RE GONNA IGNORE THAT for now.) From the beginning, Tanjirou’s kindness isn’t an obstacle holding back his power, though other characters pose it that way, but rather he cultivates his empathy to grant peace to the demons he faces. He smiles in the face of anyone who treats him poorly because of his cluelessness, and that’s just so heartwarming to see, and dare I say subversive to the hardened, calculating, and cocky male protagonists we so often get. Good job, Gotouge.

3. Joseph Joestar from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Giorno Giovanna was a close second, but I gotta go with Joseph. He’s the one who made me fall in love with the series, and with the later parts too. Unlike Jonathan Joestar, who was chivalrous and manly, Joseph was a riot: colorful, arrogant, funny, but also extremely clever. I absolutely loved his, “Next you’ll say...!” because at first I expected it to just be him being an overconfident asshole and eventually he’d be proven wrong at the ~Dai Pinchi Moment~ (please excuse my weeb speech, I legit didn’t know what else to call it), but then he hit the mark every time and eventually I was just waiting for when he’d pull that out and it was so hype. Also I surely can’t forget his transformation as an old dude in Part 3 -- him screaming “OOHHHH MY GAAAWDDDA!” and “HOLY SHIIIT!” murdered me every time. And of course, last but not least, the raw fucking emotion when Caeser died -- the dude actually gave a shit and wasn’t made entirely of wit and absurdity, but heart too. Joseph set the tone for what JJBA was as a whole for me (fuck off with that “but Part 3/Part 4 is the best Part” bullshit, Part 2 will always be top tier for me because of Joseph Joestar’s brilliant, bright, and beautiful absurdity -- but Part 5 was really good too). Araki really is a genius.

4. Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess: My love for this series is a bit older than the series I’ve already mentioned, and TLoZ: TP was actually probably the first time I got seriously obsessed with a fandom. I love all the Links in their own ways, but Twilight Princess really drove home the “lone wolf chosen by the gods, fighting against the world” narrative for me. It made me feel important and strong at a time when no one cared about me. Seeing Link struggle silently through his quest with villagers who meant well but did nothing for him, and Midna who started out as a reluctant acquaintance and eventually became so much more, meant so much to me at the time I played the game. I will always love Twilight Princess the most because of what it did for me at one of the darkest times in my life, and because I felt completely and utterly immersed in every part of the story and gameplay through Link’s character, who was, and in many ways, still is, so relatable to me: Silent courage really is what I use to get through every day.

5. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood): For once I’m not naming the protagonist of a series! Lissen, I still smile whenever I see the slightest reference to Edward Elric, but now he’s more of my childhood love. He’s just a part of my personality already? LOL. Anyway, FMA(B) has so many good characters that choosing just one doesn’t feel right (I mean, same with HxH tho). I say Greedling because that encompasses both Ling and Greed though, two of my favorite characters from the series! Ling’s apparent childishness in constantly running away from fights, making other people pay for his food, and failing to grasp the seriousness of the situation (until Lan Fan’s arm gets cut off lol oops) is so adorable and entertaining. He’s the best kind of idiot asshole, and I especially love how he teases Ed. After him and Greed fuse, Ling’s stout heart becomes even more apparent, as he constantly eggs Greed on to remember his past life, his friends, and become someone outside of Father/the Dwarf in the Flask. Conversely, Greed’s nonchalance and (of course) avarice are nothing short of entertaining and heartbreaking. Greed’s realization at the end, when he finally admitted to himself that what he wanted all along were “friends like these,” completely crushed me the first few times I watched FMAB. And when he’s screaming in the tunnels under Central after having killed Bido, remembering his friends, and he doesn’t understand why, and later attacks Wrath/King Bradley... that shit was so entertaining and cathartic to watch. None of his development feels like forced redemption, nor like it was too little development, since it mostly happens in the background and away from the “validating eyes” of the protagonists other than Ling. And at the end, when Ling and Greed work together to take down Bradley and all the soldiers invading Central HQ... it’s so beautiful. Many have said this before but I’ll say it again: Hiromu Arakawa wrote the perfect series.

6. Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler: Another protagonist! And another older obsession of mine. Ciel remains in my mind to this day mainly for his heartlessness in relation to his age, and the fluidity with which Toboso tells his story. Normally when authors write younger characters into their serious stories, they make “child adults” of sorts, but Ciel feels totally realistic to the extent that he is both childish and adult to me. Obviously, Ciel is responsible and (normally) level-headed due to being the head of the Phantomhive household, but also from trauma. Yet, his cruelty at times is what sticks in my mind the most: You really feel that he’s someone who feels he’s been abandoned by the entire world, given his experiences, and that makes him disregard or use others sometimes in order to reach his own ends. Normally, authors would be too cowardly to let their protagonists, let alone child protagonists, go to such lengths to avenge their family, or carry out their duty as the dog of the military (looking at you, Arakawa -- she’s still a goddess tho). But Ciel is unforgiving. He lies to Snake and tells him his troupe is still alive. He murders the entire troupe because he’s triggered -- a childish decision, but driven with adult-like power due to trauma. It’s devastatingly riveting, and I cannot forget his unrelenting, contained rage to this day.

7. Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This one may come as a shock to most of you, because I hardly ever post Star Wars let alone Ahsoka content on here -- but it’s true. Other than the blatant, half-assedly inserted heteroromantic partner they gave Ahsoka in, like, idk season 3??, Ahsoka is a fucking goddess. From her origin as a wee baby in the earlier seasons who didn’t really know what she was doing and was a bit of a cocky brat, to how she matures and becomes wise, resourceful, and fierce in the later seasons, I just love Ahsoka’s design and character to this day. The episodes that stick in my mind aside from the obvious are when she’s possessed by the Dark Side of the Force on that Force balance planet and her arrogance becomes so exaggerated that she threatens and attacks Anakin, her teacher. It was so fucking cathartic. Normally female characters, let alone young protagonist female characters, are never allowed to show the ugly sides of themselves in fiction, since women are always portrayed as perfect beautiful majestic angels or some bullshit like that. (Or they’re cocky/sexy/slutty villain women. ‘Kay then.) Seeing Ahsoka devolve into her basal desires and come out of it like hardly anything happened and she’s still a perfectly valid character was so amazing to see on a meta level; it wasn’t about her learning a lesson or anything, it was a thing that happened like any other character and then they moved the fuck on. I also distinctly remember the episode where she was trapped on that island/planet and she had to take out the aliens that were after her all by herself. That was so fucking empowering to watch and god fucking dammit I need to rewatch this series now. And of course, let us not forget the fact that the entire time, we were all expecting Ahsoka to just be another domino in Anakin’s downfall -- and she was, but not through the refrigerator -- but through walking away from it all. That was so powerful and moving -- and heartbreaking. By the end of TCW, her character carried weight and agency in the narrative, and god, I only wish whoever wrote her could write more female characters in the future.

8. Tigress from Kung Fu Panda: Maybe another surprise, but I think she deserves this spot. Tigress is a female character who starts out as kind of an antagonist, given how she outright tells Po to leave the kung fu temple within the first day of him arriving. She’s even jealous of the fact that he’s chosen as the Dragon Warrior rather than her -- but that’s due to the backwash of years of trying to live up to the memory of Tai Lung in order to please Shifu (which means “master” in Chinese but ok I’ll shut up now), her master and mentor over the years. She never says this out loud in the movie, which is what makes her character more believable. Others even joke about how stoic she is (and not in bad taste). Her character development is definitely present for those who are looking -- but I put her on this list because I’m so happy the movie doesn’t make it some huge dramatic emotional thing, because so often in media women are depicted as being overly-emotional and here Tigress is just a hurt child trying to make her mentor happy. But, she gets over it, her and Po become allies, even friends to each other -- she and Po talk like equals in the second and third movies, and she even tells him to back out of the fight with Lord Shen and he listens (I mean he doesn’t stay put but he doesn’t undermine her opinion either lol, like most jokesy protagonists of Western media would -- looking at you, Marvel). I like Tigress because she’s an antagonist without being a bitch, she’s powerful without being overpowered, and she’s not sexualized despite being a well-trained, at times jealous, and even emotionally awkward kung fu master. And I almost forgot to mention the best part: There is never an indication of romance between her and Po, or any other character, for that matter. She’s perfectly capable, complex, and lovely on her own terms. And that’s that on THAT.

9. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit: I wanted to include at least one character protagonist from a live-action movie/book, lol. I feel like Bilbo’s pretty self-explanatory. He doesn’t wanna go on an adventure because he likes his doilies and warm sheets, but then Gandalf seduces him with the call to the outside world and possible death (LOL), and he fucking goes for it, grumbling the entire time. Isn’t that what any of us would do if given such a proposition? I like to think so. Bilbo obviously has his own gradual, evil transformation with the One Ring, becomes murderous and uses it to disappear, and grows a strong bromance with the King Under the Mountain (which happens in both the movie and the book), but I think what I like about him is that he really feels... down-to-earth? Like even though the adventure changes him, it never feels like he’s been stretched in a way that makes his core character traits of grumbling and bluntness disappear. He gets better at the whole adventuring thing, for sure, but he remains Bilbo, at least, to me, throughout the journey. It was heartwrenching watching him try to save Thorin in The Battle of Five Armies, honestly, but Bilbo’s the kind of character that I feel like has his own story and mythology aside from The Hobbit, and maybe that’s just the result of J.R.R. Tolkien writing the lore for every aspect of his universe, but My Point Still Stands. He feels like his own man apart from the series he’s in, yet he’s still so much fun in his series.

10. Barley Lightfoot from Onward: And last, this one is because I saw Onward yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the characterization in it -- and anyone who thinks differently can kiss my *ss. :) I was not expecting the movie to take the twist of fleshing out the “annoying” (more like adorable) overconfident nerdy big brother. Normally those characters are swiped to the side because God Forbid The Comic Relief Have Any Sadness In Them. I was expecting the movie to focus on Ian’s journey to meet his fatha and that the movie would pull something stupid at the end like “oh actually there’s another phoenix gem underneath the school” or “actually since only his legs appeared then you still have 24 hours with him” or some shit like that, but I guess this isn’t an anime so those absurdist explanations wouldn’t hold water anyway. But still, for a kid’s movie, I was NOT expecting this movie to go so hard with the characterization. For once, the main character doesn’t get what he wants at the end, and instead realizes it’s his big brother, Barley, who’s been looking out for him his entire life. Meeting his dad would betray that reality. What happens instead is that the lovable big brother never actually said goodbye to their dad before he died, because when their dad got sick, said brother ran away from the hospital room in fear of all the life-sustaining equipment. (Is this some meta thing about Chris Pratt and Guardians of the Galaxy? Off topic and call me stupid, but I didn’t realize Chris Pratt plays him until I saw everyone freaking out about it afterward on Tumblr laksjdflak.) So instead, the lovable big brother talks to the dad at the end, and unconfident younger brother grows confidence and thanks big bro for being with him his entire life. It was so touching, dude. I cry. But the moment that sticks in my mind the most was when Ian was crossing the invisible bridge... Ian needed to have confidence in himself to be able to cross over a chasm in their path, and Barley knew that if Ian didn’t believe in himself, he would fall and die. They tie a rope around Ian for good measure, and Barley encourages him the entire way, but halfway over, the rope comes loose and slips off. Barley sees this and starts panicking, but of course continues to encourage Ian so that Ian will get to the other side. What got to me wasn’t the fact that he faked it for Ian, but that there are actual tears running down his face as he’s encouraging Ian to get to the other side, because he knows otherwise Ian wouldn’t have the confidence and would fall to his death. Like dude, that raw, complex emotion in a kid’s movie?! DUDE?! I was fucking surprised. The clear anxiety and grief in Barley’s face as Ian’s totally clueless and even dancing around in the air was just too much, omfg. Of course, then it’s played off for laughs, but... I guess that makes sense for the annoying overconfident nerdy big bro character. :’)

Okay these are way longer than I anticipated and I’m sorry, but also I’m really not. Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on my favs!

Seems I don’t talk to that many people on here anymore: @stupidbluejay @mirycactusito @chronicstarlight

HunterxHunter 

My First Anime Experience

I’ve never been one for watching anime, but after repeated recommendations, I decided to watch HunterxHunter, and it’s safe to say that I’ve really enjoyed the series. The structure of the show took a little getting used to – all six ‘arcs’ were of different lengths. Personally, watching this series came right after finishing a binge of Avatar: The Last Airbender as well as The Legend of Korra, and perhaps that’s why I’m making quite a few comparisons here.

Across the six arcs, the characters took on different challenges that represented larger, more serious themes. Unlike ATLA though, it most probably isn’t as family friendly, openly confronting the idea of death and hunting other humans, etc. Plus, some of the animation and character design, especially with regards to the Chimera Ants is just straight up terrifying.

One aspect of the show that really troubled me was the relationship that Gon and Ging have. Gon spends the six arcs chasing the idea of his father, Ging. He has been told that his father is a legend in the world of Hunters, and therefore wants to be just like him. Throughout the story, he sets challenges for Gon, requiring him to pass the Hunter exam and beat the Greed Island game before being able to have the chance to meet him.

Perhaps Ging feels a little too relatable. He is notorious for working alone, and also has strong and often controversial opinions. He stops Gon from being able to meet him after the Greed Island arc because he thought that having friends was a sign of weakness. Hopefully by the end of everything in the 13th Hunter Chairman Election arc, Ging has somewhat changed his opinions about the power of friends.

Gon is just almost sickeningly positive. He’s the light in the room, and the spark in him is something that I aspire to find in my everyday life. The amount of innocence in one little boy is almost too much to bear. Just watching him go through the spiral after losing Kite and wanting to seek revenge against Neferpitou was one of the most heart-wrenching things ever.

Then, we see his complete opposite, Killua. His character is easily one of the most precious that I’ve come across on any form of media. Child has been through hell and back during his training as part of the assassin family, and he has the pressure of being basically royalty (of sorts) – people see fear when they find out that he’s from the infamous Zoldyck family.

Nevertheless, he still maintains his innocence somewhat and perhaps was saved by the pure goodness of Gon early in the series. Ultimately, Killua, to me, was a young boy that just wanted to protect the people he loved no matter what he had to sacrifice. I would definitely appreciate a prequel series of Killua, or just a dedicated sequel series about his adventures with Alluka.

Another character that I would have loved to see more of was Hisoka. Maybe it’s the bad boy aesthetic, but he just functions on a whole different level that can be difficult to comprehend. He starts off being the gang’s most feared enemy, then saved Gon in the fourth phase of the Hunter exam. Later in the series, it becomes more apparent that he is just someone who’s bored of life in general, wanting only to find the next challenge. Definitely would have wanted to see the Hisoka vs Chrollo showdown, especially as it seems that storyline was quite unfinished.  

Finally, a moment that really stuck with me long after finishing the series was the idea of the Poor Man’s Rose. It is quite easy to see the relation to the modern-day nuclear bomb with the unthinkable levels of mass destruction that follows its detonation. It also leaves victims who manage to survive with a level of poison which they will pass on to people who are in contact with them afterwards, further increasing the bomb’s fatality rate.

This Poor Man’s Rose probably stuck to me more because of Japan’s history with the nuclear bomb in World War II where both Hiroshima and Nagasaki were completely destroyed by American powers. It is also a reminder of the destructive potential that the nuclear weapons that global powers now have, especially since they have been improved upon since 1945.

Now that I’ve finished the series, I wouldn’t say that I’m a complete convert to the anime genre, but am definitely open to trying out new titles.

Hunter x Hunter Character Analysis

Okay, so, maybe this isn't actually a character analysis but instead a "favorite character" list, BUT THAT'S OKAY! JUST TAKE IT AND GO!

These are in no particular order, so do what you will:

- Gon + Killua (of course, you expected this though. They're absolutely tied at the same amount of favorite. Gon a little more though. Gon is super inspirational to me. Sure, he's a kooky 12 year old impulsive ADHD kid, but that's WHY he inspires me; I was, and still am, that kid. He has all the traits I have: loyal to a fault, determined, friendly, forgiving, will always find a way to work through whatever he's going through, overly emotional, openly loves his friends, etc; only thing I can't do is just DO, like he does. He makes me want to though. Killua also has all the traits I have: closed off, not expressive, quick to distrust, constantly questioning everything, easily embarrassed by displays of affection, etc; and the only thing I'm not is as smart or observant as him. Basically I relate to them a lot and I love them they are my pure baby children,,,)

- Pouf (yes, Pouf. GOD I LOVE POUF. He was honestly so cute and adorable and loyal to a fault, even going out of his way, risking his life, to serve his King. He also played some mean ass violin yo. And his wings? Oof listen I just loved him from the very second he was introduced; NOT TO MENTION HOW FUCKING CUTE HE WAS WHEN HE SPLIT INTO THOSE TINY CLONES???)

- Meruem and Komugi (can I just... can I just say that THAT scene made me cry more than ANY other part of the anime? I was seriously bawling. The King had become a favorite almost instantly, and Komugi was just too sweet to not love. When I watched that scene I felt like someone had actually ripped a piece of my heart out?? He was, at that moment, more human than any of the other chimera ants could have ever been, and it was just devastating okay I'm gonna stop now before I cry again,,,)

- Cheetu (okay this one is hilarious kkgjwjvwqjfjqj I just love Cheetu okay he's so fucking adorable and stupid and he just wants to go fast LET THE BOY GO FAST,,, MY FAVORITE THING IS WHEN HE WOULD SAY "BINGO" IT WAS SO CUTE,,, I was actually literally so sad when they killed him okay leave me alone I have no other reasons to love him I just thought he was cute and silly lmao)

- Ging (okay, let me explain. I hate Ging okay I hate Ging because of how he abandoned his son. He ran away from him and left him to the wolves because he just had a fucking hunch that his son would be just like him and figure shit out on his own. Gon deserves so, so much better than that. Ging seriously couldn't even properly hug his son or comfort him AFTER HE BASICALLY FUCKING DIED AND GOT LUCKY. But, I do love him as well, because HOLY FUCK HE'S FUCKING HILARIOUS AKDKFJAK WHY IS HE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? I was fucking SOLD the second he got stupid I swear to y'all I lost it, I knew he was fucking great from that point on. Not as a father to Gon but as a Hunter and a character in the series. He's also incredibly smart and wise, and I appreciate that a lot, but once again FUCK GING FOR BEING A SHIT FATHER. Leorio is a better father figure than him. Speaking of...)

- Leorio (left his name black bc black suit yanno, ANYWAY I just loved Leorio from day one. That's all there is to it. He's an excellent character, he's funny and smart and caring and quite frankly he deserves a hug. He's such a dork and I hope he becomes the most loved doctor in the world.)

- Knuckle (I ALMOST put him down below but I just remembered him and y'all, Knuckle is the fucking BROOOO, I have no reasons to explain, I just would die for Knuckle and that's that.)

So yeah, that's it for favorites! I DO have some honorable mentions:

- Hisoka (I love everything EXCEPT his perverted pedophilia smh they really did NOT need to do all that. Besides that he's fucking hilarious)

- Palm (I especially loved her towards the end. In the beginning she was funny too so I definitely liked her.)

- Ikalgo (lil octopus bro just wanted shit to be okay.... me too lil dude :'))

- Morel (okay lets be honest come on now Morel is chill as fuck, I'd have a drink with him wouldn't you??????)

- Shalnark (come on, he's adorable)

- Feitan (fucking cool ass dude yo)

If I remember anyone else I'll add them to the list, but for now that's it!

Killua Zoldyck: the all-time best boy

Since (hopefully) I’ll be posting this on Killua Zoldyck’s birthday (July 7th), this feels like as good a time as any to actually talk about why the white-haired little shit of an assassin is my favorite anime character of all time. Sure, I have plenty of characters that I’m obsessed with, tons and tons that I would die for, write fanfictions about, reblog fan art of, read fanfictions about, cry over, etc. But none of them come close to matching what I feel for a select few characters, my top 10 list, which has changed slightly over the years. However, the top 5 have yet to change. As much as the last five have shuffled over recent years, with a special shoutout going to Ray from The Promised Neverland, who managed to knock Reg from Made in Abyss out of the top 10 and climb all the way to number 6, the top 5 have remained exactly the same.

And Killua Zoldyck has remained squarely at number one ever since I watched  Hunter x Hunter (2011) back at the end of 2015 and beginning of 2016. Back when I was the same age as him and lacked a lot of the same social skills and friends that Killua’s upbringing stole from him. Back when I saw a character who could deal with most any problem effortlessly and thought to myself, ‘I want to be like that.’ 

A long time ago, I wrote about Izuku Midoriya. I wrote about why I loved Izuku Midoriya after only two episodes of My Hero Academia, about how he was a character who I both related to and aspired to be like. And that is exactly how I felt about Killua at the very beginning of Hunter x Hunter. He was a character who was fun to be around, fun to watch, bounced off the other characters with so much charisma, charm, and grace that he was mesmerizing to behold. I wanted to be like him. To be able to see a person my age and simply say, ‘hey! Let’s be friends!’ 

But, as the show continued, we learned more about Killua’s life. His inability to maintain a relationship because it was simply something that wasn’t taught to him. His family’s disapproval of his kindness and compassion for other human beings. And Killua climbed down from his pedestal. He went from a bouncy, fun, terrifying little assassin child who could do no wrong to an actual,,, person. There really isn’t any other way to describe the way that Hunter x Hunter portrays its characters. Even those who are murderers, villains, literally human-eating ants, feel entirely, inarguably human. And Killua was the first to become so. And the way the show humanized him, portraying him as someone who we see as perfect, charismatic, charming, social, as someone who just wants a friend, just wants to be a normal kid and have fun adventures with someone who wants him around just resonated with me.

All of this is just in the first 26 episodes. Killua just continues getting better and better from here. His arc is about finally getting what he’s wanted all these years, a friend, fun adventures with said friend, and to, just a little bit, be normal. Okay, maybe not normal. But a little bit more normal than he was before he met Gon. And he loves every second of it. He’s just overjoyed to actually have a friend, to be going on fun adventures with his friend, even if they’re constantly in life-threatening situations and doing absolutely insane nonsense, Killua is having an absolute blast.

And then the ants come.

While the Chimera Ant Arc is not my personal favorite arc of the series (that honor going to the Yorknew City Arc), I have no words to describe the raw... emotion that most of the arc manages to invoke in those who watch it. From Meruem’s entire brilliant character arc to Gon’s all-encompassing mental breakdown, every character is given something to set them apart from the time they had before this brutal experience.

Killua learns that his brother was right.

He learns that, no matter how much you care about someone, how much time you’ve spent with them, how much you’ve been through together, how much you’ve done for them, people will still hurt you. Having friends still means that sometimes people will put themselves before you. They’ll leave, sometimes, and maybe they come back, like Gon did, but maybe they don’t. Killua learns that what his brother said about friends abandoning you is right, sometimes. He ends the show away from Kurapika, away from Leorio, and away from Gon.

But, of course, that isn’t all that he learns. 

Killua learns that sometimes people are worth it. He learns that sometimes when you love someone enough, when you care about someone enough, getting hurt for them is okay. Getting hurt for their sake can be worth it. He learns that friendships aren’t meant to be conflict-free and perfect, and he learns to handle it. He learns that you can’t give up on people, you can’t leave them behind, and that you can’t simply run away.

Killua has been taught all his life to run away when you can’t win. But Gon doesn’t do that. Ever. He stands his ground and fights. And Killua learns to do that in his very own way. When Gon needs him, when his entire family stands in the way of what Killua wants for himself, for Gon, and for his baby sister, he doesn’t run away. He doesn’t give up, even though he knows that it’s more than likely that he won’t succeed. He stands strong, he doesn’t run away, and he takes what he needs to claim his victory.

He saves Gon. Because, despite the pain that Gon has put him through recently, despite how angry he is with him, despite everything, he knows that Gon would do the same for him. 

Killua Zoldyck ends Hunter x Hunter (2011) a strong, compassionate, caring, and loving person. He sheds much of his more callous nature, though never sheds the sly humor and bouncy confidence he’s had since the beginning. He changes from a little kid who doesn’t know the first thing about having friends, to a real human being, fully grown and capable of caring for his little sister the same way he was never cared for. 

Killua Zoldyck begins Hunter x Hunter (2011) as an inexperienced young kid with the world ahead of him. He ends Hunter x Hunter (2011) as a slightly older kid who has experienced more than most adults will in their entire lives, and Killua Zoldyck grows up. He grows up into a healthy, functional human being. He puts his abusive family behind him, saves his little sister from the same situation, and he moves on with his life while keeping the things that are most important to him.

And that is a very long-winded way of saying that Killua Zoldyck is one of the most lovable and relatable characters in all of anime. And that is why he has stayed at the very top of my list of favorite anime characters for as long as he has.