this week was so stupid

waterstones special edition of the chalice and the gods i love you

I tried to draw Bal last night on my iPad after so long…

Bro it does not feel the same as my tablet with clipstudio. I was sobbing

I just wanted a small dose of my skeleton before today aaaagh

am i cursed to forever be deceptively a little sick. a wee bit off. when does it end

have a fluffy lad

small heads up that i might be scarce for the next few days! i’m really tired and stressed bc of finals and work, and it’s affecting my mood which in turn affects how i feel here. i’m much too sensitive these last few days, so i’m not gonna make being here a priority for a little while.

sorry about this and thank you for your patience 💜 and pls!! take care of yourselves!! this time of year is hard on a lot of people, so remember that it’s okay if you need to step back and rest 💜

I already talked about this in an ask a few days ago but. I genuinely cannot stop thinking about Mavis and Mookie interacting with the rest of the IPRE/bureau so here is a headcanon collection

- Magnus, Carey, and Lup are so entertained by Mookie’s constant state of excitement. this kid is so fucking funny to them. Magnus and Carey play the most intense rough-and-tumble games with him every single time they see him. Lup gets to be the Cool Aunt by showing him pyrotechnics and telling him scary stories!! she brags that she’s his favorite even though he claims that they’re all his favorite

- both Mavis and Mookie adore Barry. he is the coolest uncle ever just by virtue of being Barry Bluejeans. he gets them little gifts and tells fun stories and does a hilarious impression of Merle. half of their visits end up with Mookie falling asleep to one of Barry’s stories

- Taako thinks Mookie is the scariest little child on the planet. he bakes an excessive amount of sweets to try to keep him preoccupied whenever he visits his house. his philosophy is that if Mookie is distracted by his food he will run around less and there will be a lower risk of him breaking anything

- despite Taako having no idea what to do with Mookie, Mookie just adores him. he thinks he’s so funny!! while mostly everyone else tries to filter their language at least a bit around the kids, Taako almost never does, and cursing in front of Mookie is a sure-fire way to entertain him (Taako uses this as leverage, promising to teach Mookie a new swear if he doesn’t break anything in his house)

- Mavis asks Killian to help her train every so often, and the two end up becoming really close really quickly as Killian sees just how competent an adventurer Mavis is at such a young age. it’s pretty common for Carey and Lup, and occasionally Lucretia, to join them just to spar or give pointers or offer Mavis a bit more education about magic and her potential adventuring paths. basically Mavis has the coolest aunts in the whole world and they all love her and want to help her find her path

- Mavis loves loves loves spending time with Lucretia. she is fascinated with the stories she tells even though she’s already heard them. she wants to know every little detail about anything arcane and she trusts Lucretia to teach her

- Magnus really wants to get them a dog, and has tried numerous times to go behind Merle’s back to do so. he eventually succeeds and both Mavis and Mookie end up with dogs of their own <3 Merle has to forgive Magnus because the kids are So Thrilled and the dogs are very good adventuring companions

- Mavis really enjoys spending time with Kravitz. he’s a little worried at first that the kids will be nervous about the whole Grim Reaper thing but Mavis is fascinated with his job (and Mookie just thinks it’s cool). and, to be fair, he’s one of three undead entities in their life so it’s really not a big deal. Mavis expresses a lot of interest in his work and life and Kravitz has a surplus of stories to tell!!

- Angus and Mavis become really good friends pretty quickly! Angus doesn’t interact with other kids much (given that he goes to Lucas’ school which. is definitely not geared towards 12 year olds) so he’s always excited to get to hang out with Mavis and Mookie!! Mavis tells Angus all about her adventures and he tells her all the amazing things he’s learned at school!! they swear that they’re going to adventure together someday

i made dinner and went to the store and tidied for fifteen minutes. and that’s my victory for today

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

YOU WATCH JAIDEN OVER SPARKLEZ????? you have truly changed, icarus.

i’m going to expose myself with this one. i rarely ever watch jordan live nowadays. i am a vod girlie 95% of the time. partially because i use captainsparklez vods to fall asleep, and partially because i only get the time to watch his stream when none of my mains are live, which is. extremely rare as of late

If you guys are wondering how I’m doing I’m sick and Ive just realized that apparently for the past 3 hours I’ve been redrawing a cool magazine cover as ruekir soooooo

I understand that yearning is part and parcel of a long distance relationship but my god, why is he so far away? Like literally actually no joke halfway across the country/continent.

I need to give and receive cuddles and kisses god damn it this is so fucking unfair. Literally so evil and not in the fun sexy way. Deliver me that boy right now, I’ve been a good boygirlneitherbothinbetween I promise, hand him over!!

I usually don’t yearn on main but I’m really tearful today and also sick/experiencing allergies so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhxjckvvkjfjeejdjmf :(((

The urge to post about my Clearsight Rewrite idea guuh. What if I did it what then

i’ve decided that 2024 is going to be my year of my rest relaxation and most of all selfishness. i’ve been reflecting on myself this past year and this holiday season has made it really clear to me about how i’ve been working myself to the bone for others and holding myself back in terms of the things that bring me joy and i just can’t keep living like this. i’ve never thought of myself as a people pleaser i’ve actually actively been against that label but the more i’ve been reflecting on my behaviors i’ve realized that i totally am one and well fuck that!!! i hate that shit!!! it’s not that i want to be rude or unkind or anything because that’s definitely not my goal but. straining myself and pushing myself farther than i need to and ignoring my own wants and needs in fear of being judged isn’t going to make people love or care about me or put any more thought into me. i’m so utterly exhausted of constantly giving 150% for others when i don’t get even an eighth of that back. so i’ve decided i’m going to start putting myself first and everyone else leagues behind me because. so much of my life is rooted in guilt and shame and beating myself up because of how i’m perceived and it makes zero sense and all it does is make me fucking miserable. i want to knock down even those stupid mental barriers like how i’ve been too scared to go see movies by myself or forcing myself to be quiet because i’m convinced that all of my emotions whether it’s misery or joy is a burden to others because Nobody. Cares. nobody cares!!! nobody cares and that’s so freeing. i am going to find a way to love myself if it fucking kills me i am going to do what makes me happy and not care if it’s a “burden” to anyone else (it isn’t.) i am gonna do what i want when i want to fuckin do it and i don’t Care anymore. this will be the year i come out victorious in the idgaf war and it’s gonna be incredible

for the ao3 ask! 10 and 27💗

helloooo :))💕💕

10. What work was the quickest to write?

take me to loveland - it’s (i think) my shortest fic, so it makes sense it was fast, but the process was so fun in all. i wrote it in the midst of summer, i went outside for about two hours, cranked out a little over a thousand words, and just had a lovely time!

27. What do you listen to while writing?

oooh i love this! the music i listen to depends on the pairing i’m writing for. e.g. i listen to a lot of grimes and vampire weekend when writing micksteban, a lot of regina spektor, florence + the machine, and jeff buckley when writing princess cake, a lot of gwen stefani and beyoncé whenever i’m writing anything girl!nico related. if all else fails, mitski, lorde, lana del rey, and the mountain goats make good background music/inspo for writing