#i’ll get to share my love for reading and actually make a big impact
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oscars 2022 (book ver.)
there were a lot of books i read this year, a majority of them ones i really enjoyed. even so, it wasn’t that difficult to put together my top ten favorite reads, but i felt very uncomfortable with not getting to talk about books outside that range that still affected me a great deal. so!! this list helps me with that!!
a booktuber (@/Tori Morrow; highly recommend watching their videos, especially if you’re a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy since that’s majorly what they read and talk about) introduced me to this end-of-year activity where i could talk about these books that still stood out to me, even if they didn’t make it to the top 10. i think having trouble wrangling a certain # of stories into a list when you’ve read up to 135 is pretty valid but yeah!!
let the 2022 oscars (book ver.) commence!!
warning: this post is really long :’)
best supporting actress:
- martha wolf from “self-made boys” by anna-marie mclemore
“People always find something wrong with how much or how little women are doing,” Martha said. “We don’t do as much as they think we should, we’re boring or frigid. If we do more than they think we should, we’re easy or fast. There’s no winning. So I kiss exactly as many or as few girls as i want.”
aka my gay awakening. while she’s not the most major side character in this great gatsby retelling, she still has her lines, and she still has a big effect on the story that jumps the gun at times. as sparse as her scenes were with nicolás and gatsby, when she did show up, she always threw me for a loop because i was crushing on her hard lol (still am). also her voice added to the overall message of the novel set during a time where living loud & lavish was the big move but if you were too loud or too honest, you were a pariah. all the rules & expectations are so muddled in their idiocy that even gatsby complains about it, and he’s the one who appears to live the most lavishly of them all!!
but yeah, martha’s character really stood out to me, and the conversations she had with nicolás specifically were phenomenal so i don’t care if she’s seen as more minor compared to daisy or jordan, she’s my supporting character.
best supporting actor:
- alim from “you made a fool of death with your beauty” by akwaeki emezi
“Imagine that, Feyi. We’re alive, and I love you.”
alim will forever go down in literary history as one of the best romantic heroes to date, and it’s all just in how sincere and beautiful his presence in this story is. the moment feyi first lays her eyes on him, there’s this immediate attraction, which just stirs up a lot of trouble and believe me, there is a big storm coming for sure. but alim’s presence in this story is like a steady hand through those rocky waves and he doesn’t just make feyi feel that rush of feeling alive, he makes her feel comfortable in just getting to be in the quiet of the storm, because she knows he’ll always be right there with her if she lets him.
the connection that he & feyi have together when it came to both of them experiencing grief over a lost partner is incredibly profound, and i just loved so much how in a story that was solely in feyi’s pov, we still got to learn so much about alim and see so much of him. the way his love language isn’t just cooking the most heavenly meals, but through his incredible way with words, and how natural and peaceful it feels having him by your side, he’s such a force to be reckoned with.
i wish i could see more of him & feyi, and i wish their romance could’ve gotten the attention it deserved by making it to the finals in the 2022 goodreads choice awards. it was a big big snub to me, but hopefully to heal some of the wounds, their story being mentioned on my part here gives some attention.
best cinematography:
- “city of speed” by alex london
Drakopolis was like one of those dolls that you opened to find a smaller doll inside, and then a smaller doll inside that one, and on and on. You could live your whole life in the city and still discover strange and terrifying new things inside it every day. It was unsettling, Abel thought, but also a little exciting. It was hard to be bored in Drakopolis.
my reading journey with the battle dragons series is one that feels so epic, and yet it also feels so lonely, because no one ever really talks about this middle grade series, and that breaks my heart.
this cyperpunk fantasy with racing dragons and powerful gangs and such immersive storytelling isn’t on a lot of people’s radar and that feels so wrong to me.
one of the best things about it, and especially with this second book here, is how vivid this world feels, how bright & gritty & expansive it is. this story only takes place in this single city called Drakopolis, but it has such a wide impact that it feels like you’re seeing so much of what the author has to offer. the underground races that are considered illegal, the glittering signs of the city and the black markets that sell a vast range of items—all of it so descriptive in this book here that i could see it so clearly in my head, and i loved it a lot.
i loved how cinematic the story felt, and so sweet, and so for that, that’s why i feel it best deserves the winning praise for this category here. hopefully in the future, more readers can see that as well.
best original screenplay:
- “dark room etiquette” by robin roe
If he’s alive, I’ll read his thoughts. If he’s dead, I’ll summon his ghost. Tell me, Daniel, what present do you want?
The big one.
this category speaks to a story that was crafted in a way that makes it stand out, its structure manipulated so as to mimic the story itself. for this book, the start of it felt so monotonous and as if the main character was living in a bubble that was fit to burst. it felt very reminscent of jake from “the taking of jake livingston” by ryan douglass, which garnered some mixed reviews because of how flat the main character read at the beginning. both ya, one horror & one thriller—what both roe & douglass did with these stories was they wrote their characters like that on purpose so that when the tone of the story did shift, when the characters were forced to react to what was happening to them and to those around them, you as the reader were confronted with their break in reality.
it was astonishing to witness how the authors crafted these characters’ surroundings as a nod to how it may have felt for both of them living in a society that acts so completely fake at times and demands conformity but then when there’s a shift, it’s as if the walls fall all around them.
“dark room etiquette” was such a phenomenal read that deserves so much more praise for its writing and the character work as we observe the three different stages of sader’s life that changes him fundamentally. the way he molds itself when the situation calls for it and is left misshapen because he doesn’t have any real sense of his own identity was just…something else, and it made the last quarter of the book so meaningful once he learned how to try & fit back inside himself. but first, he has to reckon with all the trauma he’s endured as other characters and their traumas are also given a spotlight.
best new author (debut or new to me):
- freydís moon
“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” - “with a vengeance”
for this category, i’m cheating just a tad because one of this author’s works is present in my top 10, but i think when your new favorite authors from this year all have a place in your top 10 list, it goes to show how much they deserve to be considered for this category. the reason why i chose this one as the winner here is because i feel i don’t talk about this author nearly enough.
moon’s social media presence (freydísmoon on insta, freydis_moon on twitter) means the world to me as i watch them promote their writing and also open my eyes to a new genre of literature where erotica meets a holiness like no other, and their descriptions of worship as their characters reclaim their bodies for themselves completely takes your breath away. i feel an immense sentimentality for the fact that the characters of exodus 20:3 and with a vengeance are latine, and so the representation is even more powerful because the latine community have our own kind of relationships to the Catholic faith and how our identities can be disconnected from family.
each of moon’s books have such different tones but share similar threads that as a reader, is so completely beautiful because it’s such a versatile experience. with with a vengeance being the one with the most anger & violence, it’s amazing seeing moon release three kings a couple months after, a cozy fantasy set in a small seaside town that has its own power with the forces of magic and exploration of fertility. their writing is like complete chaos but it’s a welcome one that i’m so thankful to have found, and i’m really excited for their new release set to come in early february as i know it’ll be absolutely everything.
best ensemble cast:
- the characters of “fragile remedy” by maria ingrande mora
Keep going, Pixel. Keep going.
i have a very soft spot for this small group who are forced to live out in the Withers, a ravaged wasteland left abandoned after an illness swept through society and tore these characters down into drug-ridden spaces as those with much more power built their own utopia.
while the narrative of the story is mainly told through the eyes of nate, his little found family and the other characters he attaches himself to are bigger than life and make their own home in this dystopian society where it’s every life for themselves. the difference though, is that this group stick together, and in this broken society that leaves others high & dry, sticking together in a group is probably the smartest choice so as to not simply fade away.
there’s one character, specifically, in this ensemble, whose relationship with nate i absolutely adore, and it was such a heartbreaking dynamic that is so unconventional but is a product of how broken this society has gotten. alden & nate’s connection is very significant to me, and is one i’ll never forget; it pains me that not more readers know about these characters at all, but i’m just glad for now i discovered this story the way i did, which was completely by chance.
best book i haven’t read yet:
- “the midnight girls” by alicia jaskinska
i love this category because the pressure i feel to read this book is so strong with how quickly i knew it deserves this spot here.
i really really have to read this book soon. i had the perfect opportunity to read this story of monsters back in october for the halloween season, and if not then, then just reading it during the fall would’ve been fine. but no, now we’re in winter where currently the temperatures are below freezing in my area, and i am barely holding on. i’m certain that with zosia’s comfort in the cold and ice of winter, reading this book in january would be another good opportunity.
whenever i do read this story, i know it’ll be so fun, and so interesting as well because the writing i could already tell is beautiful as hell, and it’s so wicked these characters. i can already feel the anticipation for something guaranteed to be five stars by how good its premise is, so i just need to hop on quick.
best director:
- ryan la sala for “the honeys”
what i like about this category is that “best director” isn’t simply dedicated to an author who had the best writing or whatever. there were a lot of authors i met this year whose stories went in all different directions that took me to some extreme highs & lows, it was mind-numbing as hell. but what this category is really spoken for is when it comes to a certain type of writer who just really took the story to a whole new level that left you completely boggled.
originally, this category felt best directed towards tal bauer with “stars”, whose direction of the story was books in the making and because of that, it felt so much more epic than ever. but since i wanted to exclusively highlight some books that weren’t included in my top 10 favorite reads list, ryan la sala’s debut horror novel was the best contender for this position.
the writing in this ya is so surreal and deadly in its descriptions of an atmospheric setting glowing with light but that is rooted in strange visions and manipulative strings. it’s a compliment i don’t shut up about and never will because the fact that it was so surreal made the direction it went towards in its ending absolutely bonkers, and i still can’t quite wrap my head around it after the two months i’ve read it since.
what i can say is that i very much look forward to more of what this author has planned next in their writing career because it’s clear they have their own visions that on paper will blow readers’ minds, and i’m totally here for it.
best actress:
- mina rahman from “a show for two” by tashie bhuiyan (runner up: cherry neita from “the princess trap” by talia hibbert)
I wish for happiness in whatever form it might be.
tashie bhuiyan has quickly solidified herself to be one of my utmost favorite ya authors because of how much i absolutely adore her main characters. with only two books under her belt, bhuiyan has swept me away with not just some of the sweetest ya romances i’ve ever read, but also some of the most wonderful & hard-hitting narrators that i’ve met. karina from counting down with you meant so much to me when i was reading her story last year in 2021, and now this year i got to read mina’s, and it made me cry just as much as i did last year, if not a little more.
karina’s story filled me with a lot of anxiety because of how much pressure was building on her shoulders due to her desperate need to please her parents who have such high & unattainable expectations for her—and i say unattainable because it means it would cut away at karina’s happiness, and she would have to lose parts of herself in order to make them happy. for mina, she’s much more defiant with her parents, much more poised when it came to holding her head up high against her parents’ disgust of her attitude and just her presence in general. her defiance isn’t one that stems from acting like your usual stubborn & rebellious teenager, but rather one who’s had to grow up way too fast on her own and has had to fight to get what she wants no matter what. her parents have shamed her so much for her dreams and have tried to make her feel stupid for wanting to make it big in film and believing that she does have that chance. to see such a strong character try to beat back against those low expectations but then have moments where they still get so tired, it was incredibly difficult.
i think one of the hardest things about tashie bhuiyan’s stories up to this point is the very very toxic relationship that the main characters have with their parents. the pure shame & disappointment these adult figures hassle on their eldest daughters, even if it’s portrayed in different ways, it is such a heavy & emotional experience to read about. i’ve been made aware how it’s this portrayal that mixes up a lot of readers because of the stigma that it reinforces of how Muslim families interact. i can’t speak on the Muslim representation, i just really connected a lot to karina & mina, and i wished so much for their happiness because i believed so much in them as other characters believed in them, too—what was most important was seeing them get to believe in themselves and their aspirations, and it was a hard journey to get there. i feel very very protective of these characters, and this is one of those instances where i won’t stand for any backlash against them, especially mina, because i’m of the strong belief that they deserve none of it, and that is that on that.
the reason why i added cherry here from the princess trap as like the “runner up” is because she was just such a fun & sweet character that is partly what made my first talia hibbert book such a memorable experience. the way that she’s so confident in herself and her style is what draws the eye of other characters, especially ruben, and i was absolutely obsessed with how obsessed they were with her because she really is that character. her presence in the story was so mystifying but she wasn’t some mirage, this was all her, she was real & she was stunning as hell. she’s very relatable and she’s one of those fictional characters i wish i could have in my life because her voice was absolutely everything, and she’s someone i could genuinely look up to.
it was very important to me to include her in this category because of that.
best actor:
- amastan from “the perfect assassin” by k.a. doore (runner up: reid giordano from “fire season” by k.d. casey)
I choose to believe that your strong sense of justice will prevail among your kind and that you will emerge as their natural leader, even if I cannot believe in what you do.
the funny thing with this one is that at first, reid was immediately my first choice because he was everything!! he was such a brilliant main character who went through such a tough and honest character journey that was so well-developed and he’s still growing!!
but then i thought about amastan from the chronicles of ghadid series, and how my immense love for his voice in the story was enough for me to rate the first book a little higher than i would’ve if he wasn’t the main character. and you want to know something that still blows my mind?? amastan apparently didn’t even exist as a main character in the original draft of this series!!
so yeah, he’s someone that’s stuck with me a lot: and it’s partly because of how he was our first glimpse into this family of cousins who assassinate their targets for the better of their city. i loved his love for history & the way he challenges the idea of what a good assassin is supposed to emulate, and his character in general just hit a sweet spot in my brain that has now had me latch myself to him, and to this world he lives in that made my entire chronicles of ghadid experience such an immersive read.
he has his morals and he wants to believe in the better of others, but he’s still really strict when it comes to crossing that line, and that makes him an absolutely wonderful mentor, as we see in book two. i was really happy to see his pov again in the final book, even if it was pretty brief, but he still had a larger than life role in my heart and in this series. i am very thrilled that it took a random bookstagram post to have given me the opportunity to meet him in the first place.
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and that is a wrap!!
#❣️#i worked on this for a whole week which really is just absolute bonkers#because why in the hell am i making this much effort on a post for this platform??#at this point i really should break out in making my own book blog or even a book podcast just *something* where#i’ll get to share my love for reading and actually make a big impact#for now though i hope that anyone who does stumble upon this here and is interested in the stories that won these categories has a good time#reading all of it—it was really fun & sort of like a challenge to reimagine these categories as books#when it was originally meant for your on-screen shows & movies#i was really happy to get to talk about these books here and doing this post at all only#made me love these books even more because i found a different way to see their writing and the impact it had on me#so that’s amazing#booklr
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Hi
I'm new here but I've read almost all your mm prompts and head canons and i reallllly loved the way you described the characters. That's why i want to ask you a rather wierd question....
I was wondering how you imagine saeyoung's sex life...like what is sex to him? How important s it to him in a relationship? Will he be fine with an asexual partner?
Almost everyone that writes about him describe him as a person who has a lot of fun with sex but i think he as someone who worked in the dark side of the world for a long time might have seen and understood things that made him repulsive towards sex and the whole sex industry from porn to even nightclubs
I would love to know your opinion on this
Hello there, my lovely anon! I’m so glad you found my blog and thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I write 😊 That’s really sweet of you to say and makes me really happy. Now, I’m answering this less with actual headcanons but just kind of a blanket statement that I’ve made a couple of times and then I’ll share some of my views! I apologize in advance if this wasn’t exactly what you wanted though, and as a note, this definitely isn’t a weird question at all!!
So, plain out and out blanket statement that I will always hammer home – I might write Saeyoung one way. A lot of the writer’s might write him a certain way too, a lot more sexual than you see him being. But that doesn’t mean that you’re wrong in how you view him in any way or that we’re wrong in viewing him as we do. That’s the wonderful thing about the characters, that we can all see and write them however we want, unless the creators tell us specifically not too.
So, if you see Saeyoung as sex-repulsed, that’s a valid interpretation and you should feel free to continue thinking and writing that, even if others write otherwise!
Another blanket statement that I cannot make clear enough – If you are asexual and are wondering if your favourite character would like you and be okay with it, YES. YES, A MILLION YESES. Your favourite character is going to love you and want to be with you no matter what you look like, no matter your sexual orientation or lack thereof, your gender identity or lack thereof, no matter if you have mental health struggles, no matter what really. I will never, ever, EVER tell anyone their favourite character wouldn’t like them; the only time I ever take my personal headcanons about sexual orientations or how important sex or any other big issues regarding the characters is when I do matchups, when it’s part of my job to do so, so to speak.
So yeah, Saeyoung will be okay with an asexual partner because my writing is meant to make people feel happy, not to make them feel excluded or like their favourite character wouldn’t be cool with who they are.
Also going along with that, I do think asexuality or being sex repulsed is not necessarily caused by trauma, in the majority of cases actually. And just as a reminder, from someone who hasn’t been a virgin since I was seven, trauma related to sex can actually lead to just the opposite, hyper-sexuality where a person starts to heavily tie their self-worth into sex.
Now, we’ll get into my opinion around Saeyoung and his views on sex. I don’t actually think he has a lot of trauma tied around sex itself, but I do think his religious views really do impact his views on sex. I think that he does believe in waiting for marriage to have sex, whenever at all possible, or at least a firm commitment towards marriage, so he does have some surprisingly traditional views on sex.
To him, in my opinion, sex is a way to not only connect with his lover and feel closer to them, but he gets a lot of his physical affection through sex, and it helps how touch-starved and affection-starved he really is as a person. It’s not quite healthy, I’m not going to lie, but I do think that he does rely on sex for just that feeling of connection and love from someone else in a physical sense.
On top of that, in bonus stories from the same, we do see Saeyoung get very flirty, touchy, and seductive in a very playful way, which really is where a lot of the fandom, including me, does get the impression that sexually speaking, once his sex life with his partner does begin, he is someone who brings a lot of fun to sex, who isn’t afraid to instigate, and who does find the fun in the experience.
That being said, I do want to point out that I actually heavily agree with you in that Saeyoung has a pretty low view of nightclubs, they’re not something he would enjoy in any sort of way, but I think that’s less to do with anything sexual. I do think his mother was a drunk, that Saeyoung has very poor attitudes towards alcohol. The pure amount of people getting absolutely piss-ass drunk at a nightclub? It’s not going to be something he can deal with, and the situation would make him exceptionally anxious and unable to deal well.
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(sorry for any mistakes, I should have gone to sleep instead of reading but I couldn't resist)
I managed to find time to read a few fragments and I absolutely love the relationship between Mo'at and Spider - I was blown away by "His father was lurking somewhere, laying in wait to snatch him up, what was the grandma going to do? Hit him with her house slipper?" I imagined it lol. I also read the scene about summoning ghosts and my oh my it was brilliant (I wonder if Kiri managed to "talk" to Grace?) The fact that Quaritch revealed himself every time Spider had a bad foster home>>> I honestly have no idea what Im thinking about Quaritch, in this fanfic he makes me feel pity, sympathy and hatred at the same time. I skimmed the whole work but I didn't see Lyle's name so I assume his meeting with Spider is not described in this version? During the weekend I will read everything and try to write my best thoughts about it, I feel that there will be a lot of them. I really can't believe that it finally came out and I'm glad that it's so unexpected, otherwise I would probably die of impatience if I knew that it would come out let's say in two days. I can't wait for the sequel, in the meantime, can you give a snippet? <3
Oh my god thank you so much 😭. I really love hearing people’s thoughts so thank you for sharing them with me 💞
So I’m actually not done with the expanded version of cabin! I’ll probably post another 3-5 chapters of the expanded version. I think I can probably get the next chapter out within the next few days. Lyle will probably be in the chapter after that, where I’ll expanded on his time at the Cabin. I’ll also add in and flesh out that bonus scene with Z. But yeah, I fully intended on following the plot of the original Cabin just with a ton more detail. Then I’ll finish up the endings which I’m about halfway done with. I took a break from them to write everything I just posted. I really felt like I needed to flesh out Spider’s time with the Sully’s and his time in the Cabin for the endings to have the impact I want so here we are!
And of course you can have a snippet!
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After lunch Miles did his math work, reveling in the warmth of the sunlight like a spoiled cat. He couldn’t have spent his entire school day outside like this in his old life. Miles had to chuckle to himself just thinking about it. It had taken time to get used to his new life, but under his father’s care he somehow had more freedom now then he did back then. He set his school schedule. He decided where he studied. He set the pace of his education. He wasn’t shipped around from foster home to foster home. He had choices. He had stability. He was loved.
Pa busied himself inspecting the perimeter of the cabin, searching for any hint of an issue to fix before it became a problem. He checked up on his son a few times, monitoring his progress until he was satisfied with Miles' work. “Let’s wrap that up. I think it’s time you got some exercise.”
“Can that exercise be skateboarding,” Miles asked with a big grin and pleading eyes.
Pa huffed a small laugh, “Do ten laps around the house, fifty push-ups, fifty burpees, a hundred squates, and a hundred crunches then sure. You can do whatever you want.” Miles took off, completing his exercises with speed, skill and strength, his father standing by, counting out each rep, beaming with pride as his son effortlessly finished the tasks. Pa looked at his watch, a big smile on his face, “That’s my boy! Barely twenty minutes. But I’m not surprised. You're amazing, after all.” Miles averted his gaze, still uncomfortable with the praise his father would constantly heap onto him, though secretly reveling in it. “You got forty minutes to spend however you want. Don’t go gettin’ to wound up though y’a hear. Y’a still got to get through science today.” Miles nodded racing off to the back yard to skateboard on the half pipe he and his father had built the past spring.
Public school could never, Miles thought as he skated. Homeschool just worked for him so much better than his old education system ever had. He was so lucky that Pa had taken him away from all of that.
#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles quaritch#colonel miles quaritch#cabin in the woods#avatar fanfiction#my fanfic
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Interrupting Your Irregularly-Scheduled Fic-Related Content with An Extremely Long Note on The Situation in British Comedy
Hi there. If you don’t want to read about my thoughts on everything happening in the British comedy scene at the moment, feel free to give this a skip. I totally understand needing to take a step away from such things. But I felt it was important to address, given some of the characters in my stories are based on the people involved/being criticized. I’m also going to link this post in the author’s note of my next chapter update, but feel free to share it before then with those who might not be on Tumblr.
CW: non-detailed mentions of transphobia, sexual assault, and childhood sexual abuse
Okay. I think to start, I need to explain a few of things about me.
First, as I alluded to in the opening author’s note for Should’ve been obvious, I am just an American with a moderate obsession with British panel shows and not enough time to keep up with the entire British comedy world. I jumped into writing in this fandom with huge gaps in my knowledge, which was possibly not wise.
Second, as a way to protect my own mental health and under the advice of my therapist, I’m what you might call ‘terminally offline.’ Before I reactivated this blog for the purpose of sharing fic inspo, I had not been on social media for over a year. I still don’t use it outside of Tumblr, where I follow a very narrow selection of blogs that mostly post Taskmaster gifs (love you all, btw). I don’t watch or read the news. I have systems in place with my friends and family to keep me informed when something really big happens, but outside of that, I am purposefully oblivious. The consequence of this is that I did not know about the two situations I’ll be discussing until I saw some stray posts this past weekend, and that’s why I didn’t address it before.
Third, I always (to a fault, my friends would say) give absolutely everyone the benefit of the doubt and see the best in people until they prove otherwise—and even then, even while holding them accountable and removing them from my life if need be, I try to be compassionate. That’s not going to change; it’s just who I am.
Now for the two situations, my thoughts on them, and their impact on my writing.
The Richard Ayoade Thing
I’ve said before that I’m genderqueer (she/they, equally happy with both, btw). I’m not down with transphobia. But I’ve read that Richard is a separate-the-art-from-the-artist kind of guy, so his personal views aren’t entirely clear to me. That said, the blurb he gave makes me uncomfortable because to me it seems to imply he does agree with the views in the book. I don’t know much about Richard and haven’t consumed much content with him other than Big Fat Quiz and some random clips of various shows, so please point me to anything that would confirm or refute this. For now, I’ll leave it there. In terms of my writing, this isn’t as big of a deal, since the Richard character isn’t central to anything and could be easily retconned out if I wanted to, but I’ll talk more about the writing at the end.
The Noel Fielding Thing re: Russell Brand
Like most Americans, I was introduced to Noel through GBBO. (Well, to be fully honest, I watched the Buzzcocks spanking clips long before then, because those get passed around in spanko circles, but I didn’t know, or care, who the guy in both of them was at the time. It took awhile for my crush on him to develop.) I’ve actually never seen The Mighty Boosh or much of Noel’s standup; he’s just a bit too surreal and nonsensical for me to enjoy when he’s in complete creative control. I’ve watched interviews going back to the time he was promoting Luxury Comedy, all his episodes of Big Fat Quiz, and some episodes of Buzzcocks, in addition to GBBO. I knew he and Russell Brand and had good on-screen chemistry, but I had no idea they were off-screen friends to some degree (at least, they were in the past; more on that below) until this weekend. I also didn’t know that Noel was ever accused of being in a relationship with a 16-year-old when he was in his 30s. I experienced sexual abuse throughout my childhood. Obviously, if that accusation is true, it’s completely unacceptable regardless of the legality in the UK and I will no longer be a fan of Noel.
But rather than try to break down all my complicated feelings on this situation regarding Noel, I’m just going to link to this post, which I agree with 100%, including the part about respecting people who feel differently. The two follow-up posts on the same blog give some good additional info/thoughts. I’m working on doing my own digging, trying to find anything relevant, including the source of the claim that the then-girl in the supposed relationship denied it too. No luck there so far, [EDIT: shared what I found here and it’s in Noel’s favor!] though I have discovered that she (now a woman in her 30s) and Noel currently follow each other on Instagram, and that Noel doesn’t follow Russell Brand (nor can I find a time Noel mentioned him after 2020, right about when it seems like Brand’s right-wing conspiracy-theory crap started). Make of that what you will. Personally, it makes me give Noel the benefit of the doubt unless and until further info is revealed.
Somewhat of a side note: It seems like people are most upset about the lack of a public statement from Noel, specifically. However, what I find odd overall is how there hasn’t been a real statement from any big-name British comic. Lou Sanders was basically strong-armed into saying some stuff in an interview that was supposed to be about her book. Katherine Ryan is very clear she doesn’t want to speak about it despite being the one that called him a predator on Roast Battle years ago. There’s this article about the problem in comedy more generally which several female comics are quoted in, and this one from 2020 including Fern Brady (highly recommend you read both if you can stomach it) but no specific quotes on Brand from names I recognize even there. Radio silence. UK people, can you tell me, is this normal because of the libel laws you all have? From what I understand, it’s much, much easier to be sued for defamation against a public figure and lose over there than over here. Should we expect to wait for an arrest or conviction (if that happens) before people feel safe commenting? Or what is going on?
Impact on My Writing and Final Thoughts
I’ve been having a hard time mental-health-wise, these past few days, reconciling the human need to connect to art with the fact that all art is created by imperfect humans and you simply cannot know what is in someone else’s head or past. That includes my own art. I want it to be an escape for you all, for you to feel safe reading it, but like everyone else, I’m imperfect, and part of that imperfection is not knowing what to do.
At least for now, I’m going to be focused on More than that, and Noel and Richard have never been in the plan to appear in this fic. As for the future, I’m undecided. I feel like I need more info, but I also recognize that we might not ever get real answers.
The sad truth is that writing fanfic always comes with the risk that the thing you’ve been inspired by is later revealed to be problematic. Even if not with these two, something could come to light at any time about any of these people we base our characters on. That last Guardian article I linked should give everyone chills.
I think the best I can do with the info I have today is to say I’m writing about a fictional universe populated with fictional characters, and my use of real people to inspire those characters does not mean I endorse their actions or beliefs; past, present, or future; known or unknown to me at this time. I also want to say, though, that I respect anyone who feels they can’t engage with certain fandoms or fics. Trust me, I do understand.
Take care of yourselves. I care about you so much, internet strangers. 💜
edit: linked the wrong article quoting fern, so added that
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https://www.tumblr.com/vsnyarbll/726840255494455296/ive-had-a-few-glasses-of-wine-on-the-beach-and
Thought this was you at first lolll everyone’s on vacay thinking about a certain blonde baddie
Ahahaha. My love of Aemond is not quite at the level where I’d write his name in the sand.
I did have a moment at a water park that Max and I visited today though. This is kinda long, so I’ll pop under a read more.
So I am small - I’m only just tall enough to ride the big slides and I don’t weigh enough to get any real speed going or make any kind of impact, so I was just pinballing my way down every slide, winding myself and almost drowning when I got to the bottom.
Max is 100+ pounds heavier than me and over a foot taller. He offered to share a rubber ring with me, so that we could go down a slide together and I’d actually be able to go at a decent speed using his momentum.
The guy manning the slide we chose looked like a modern Aemond; white blonde hair pulled back into a bun, chiseled features and an aquiline nose, piercing eyes and a dangly earring. He was checking me out hard and smirked and winked at me. He scowled when he saw Max and looked horrified when he saw what we were about to do. He shook his head and said “you’ll hurt her”.
Max was all “I’ve got this, fella!”
The guy kinda sighed and was like “fine, but put her in front of you and put your legs under her arms”
We go down this slide so fucking fast and get serious air - I have never been yeeted like that before in my life. It was so fun! However, upon landing my foot made impact with the side and took off a layer of skin.
I screamed. The Aemond lookalike looked horrified and rushed to come and ask if I was okay. I was mortified, so tried to laugh it off with tears in my eyes. He called Max an idiot in Greek, and then went back to work.
I will forever be ashamed and embarrassed.
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Arnies end- Book v movie
First off just want to say it’s absolutely wild to me (in a good way) this funky little book/movie about a haunted car has a active little fan base? I’m happy I get to share my ramblings with somebody you know. That being said don’t be afraid to say hi I don’t bite.
Now when I was reading, from the most part of what I remember about the movie it’s pretty accurate. At least when it comes to major story beats. If this post gets enough interested maybe I’ll make a big post going over differences. However the largest one has to be how Arnie actually dies.
⚠️hey! Like major spoilers! Literally the ending.⚠️
In the movie it’s Arnie behind the wheel during the final show down. He may not be entirely conscious about it, but from the looks of it he’s driving. Until Christine slams into Darnell’s office and sends him flying through the windshield and the big window.
Except here’s the thing… in the book that’s Micheal Cunningham and he’s already dead. See, Dennis and Leigh call to get their parents safe and out of the way of Christine’s line of fire… and Micheal does what they asks and calls everyone… but goes near the car anyway and she gets to him. Same way she does to Lebays wife (exhaust- not pretty). Christine uses the body as basically a scare dummy as he flies though the windshield the same way
Arnie? Arnie is miles away. He’s safe. At least from what Dennis knows. They are so so close to saving him. (See he’s far away because Christine… Lebay …needs a alibi. He can’t have Arnie in town otherwise theirs suspicion and he can’t be in two places at once. So the car acts on it’s on) Arnie dies in a “freak accident” with his mothers miles away. It was pointless. Christine’s gone but so is Arnie. Absolutely futile. (It even looks like they’ve been driven off the road).
Now I personally have a love hate relationship with this ending. As the whole book is being told back to us four years later. From the very beginning it’s not shy about this being a tragedy. Except , at the same time spending this whole book fighting to save Arnie and growing more concerned for him as he does distant. It hurts. I love how it makes him dying all the more impactful but at the same time- that’s my boy. He likes wonder bread and chess and watching football and working on cars. He’s just a dorky kid! Roland D. Lebay you’re on the list
Stephan you’re getting my therapy bills.
#80s movies#80s books#horror movies#horror books#christine stephen king#christine 1983#Roland d lebay#arnie cunningham#stephan king#michael cunningham#movie v book
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Fruits Basket Diaries, #5: Why Is Tohru A Saint?
[see part 1 here]
[see part 4 here]
This is part of an ongoing series where I’ll be cataloguing my experience rereading (and finishing for the first time) the Fruits Basket manga. I’ve just finished reading up to the end of the manga, so there will be spoilers for the whole story!
Especially at the beginning of the series, Fruits Basket delights in making fun of its central character. Tohru, a hardworking teen who is desperate not to inconvenience anyone around her, is often visually portrayed in an unnecessarily dramatic manner, staged like an old painting of a martyr or a saint. Set against allusions to countless old stories of innocent, holy sacrificial lambs, Tohru's dedication to always being self-reliant and never expressing negativity just comes off as silly. She isn't bravely, peacefully facing an inevitable death on the gallows like those the artwork sarcastically compares her to--she's just stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the loving people around her.
Tohru's need to always be accommodating and convenient, to ask nothing of those around her, is poked & prodded at by the story as she faces the various struggles that come from being a teenager without a guardian, like finding a place to live and choosing someone to attend her parent-teacher conference, but the biggest challenge comes from Akito. Tohru is instinctively respectful of Akito, willing to accommodate his harsh methods, even as she finds herself repulsed by them. Halfway through the series, when Tohru has seen firsthand Akito's negative impact on the Zodiac members she cares for & has been threatened herself with the loss of her memory at his command, she is still accepting of the family's most damaging customs, still excited on Kyo's behalf when he is invited to join his family in visiting Akito at the annex.
Soon after, though, something finally changes when Tohru learns of Akito's paln to imprison the Zodiac members in the Sohma household for the rest of their lives. Despite Akito's aggressive appeals to her usual restraint & politeness (he tells her "don't butt in", a statement which rings painfully in Tohru's head long after the actual conversation), Tohru becomes resolved to work against him. She's learned of Yuki's dreams of living "outside", of Kyo's goal of inheriting the dojo, and she knows that Akito's plan stands in the way of what the two want. Though she deeply fears disrespecting the Sohma family's way of being, it hits her in this moment that Akito's disrespect of his family members is worse than anything she could do, and far too great to ignore.
After Tohru makes this realization, all hell breaks loose--Tohru starts to sneak around undercover and even breaks into the Sohma house, and then she gets into what is probably her first fight ever, and it's all AWESOME :) I love that, for all the story challenges Tohru earlier by forcing her to rely on others, and even does so later in her fight against Akito, at this pivotal moment it is understanding of the core of her politeness--a deep respect for the freedom of others--and allows her to make a big break in character that is still based on this value. Instead of rejecting herself, Tohru becomes more herself even while embracing more aggressive actions, I think.
Later, when we learn about Tohru's parents from Kyo's perspective, I think it's easier to understand where this storyline about Tohru unlearning the obsessive, unproductive standards she holds herself to comes from. Before Kyo shares what he knows, Tohru's father, Katsuya, is only described to us as very polite & as the source of Tohru's manners, which becomes really funny when we meet him in Kyo's story--Katsuya is someone who delights in annoying others and could not care less about what those around him find convenient, a far cry from Tohru's mindset. Sure, he's polite, but only as a thin veil over his general disdain for others so that he can look good and get what he wants.
In the same way, the Kyoko who Tohru introduces us to is a goddess, ever-loving and positive about her life. Though Tohru discusses her mother's prior gang involvement, it's always played off as a joke and limited to abstract references. Kyo, in contrast, tells us everything--I think because he, unlike Tohru, sees Kyoko as simply a human. In the scenes where Kyoko and Kyo talk, it seems like she treats him as a confidante, the same way she might treat an adult friend--it's quite strange, and it reminded me that, after Katsuya's death, Kyoko lost half of her former social circle of two. Rejected by her family and the majority of her husband's family, ostracized by her peers because of her reputation as a gang member, and perhaps not particularly good with social skills anyway, given her often-avoidant communication, Kyoko is left venting to Kyo, a kid who might not even be in elementary school at this point and who doesn't fully understand what she's saying. Through the introduction of Kyo's perspective, I realized that yeah, Kyoko is a little strange--though she truly does seem satisfied, her life is far from perfect. Her love for Tohru and seemingly endless energy are strong, but they probably aren't everything she needs, either.
Tohru is a combination of the idolized versions of both of her parents, well-mannered in a way that is rooted in legitimate affection. It's no wonder that she struggles to keep up with the standards she has for herself--they're modeled after perfect people who exist, and existed, only in Tohru's mind. I love how Tohru starts to break from this perfection, becoming generally burdensome (in perfectly acceptable, human ways!) while maintaining her core value of respect for others--instead of trying to be her parents, with no consideration for her own self as she acts out their idealized personas, Tohru becomes a person inspired by her parents, able to respond to the unique challenges of her own life in far more effective ways, and with much less anxiety.
From Fruits Basket's beginning to its end, Tohru is seen as extraordinarily loving. Even as she treats her own ideas and opinions with more and more importance when it comes to making her decisions, this perception from those around her never changes. As she becomes healthier, she doesn't have to become less loving--she just becomes more real, and I think that's beautiful :)
#tohru honda#yeah i love her!#fruits basket diaries#fruits basket manga#fruits basket#fruits basket spoilers#comic sans
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Hi Kit I was just wondering why for all of your stories you tag them as character x reader / character x you when in lavender and beskar doll and now in yearling, they aren't actually reader inserts? They have names or descriptions or face claims so they are OCs. As someone that has been reading fic for a long time, it can be disappointing when you go into a story based on tags and then the tags are misleading because writers are trying to get around the use of the "OC" tag so that more people will read their story.
Hi Bestie!
So I tag them that way for a few reasons! The big one is because I write it in the you format with the intention of people inserting themselves into the story.
I do try to keep descriptions to a minimum (which I know that I don’t do the BEST job at? It’s an adjustment from writing books which is where I’m approaching fic writing from but I’m trying to get better at it.) I usually limit it to the FMC is shorter than the Pedro character (this is because he tends to play physically imposing characters so I imagine him as being the tallest person in just about every room) and then amount of hair (which is generally variable from person to person, assuming they’re able to grow hair.) I did include things like “blushed” early on and I’m making a more conscious effort to avoid that kind of language because it didn’t occur to me before! That’s on white privilege, yo! They have FCs for me but I don’t share them unless people ask as that’s who I picture when writing, not how I describe the character. I don’t think I could write a character without knowing how they looked, it’s just not how I create characters! But they’re intended to be however you picture them. For example, my mom is reading Lavender but isn’t on Tumblr and she asked how I pictured Doc. She was shocked when I showed her the FC as it didn’t line up with what she had in her head at all and I think that’s great!
When it comes to physical description and inclusivity in the reader insert space, it’s an interesting dynamic to me. I minimize descriptions (or feel like I do anyway!) but it’s still all predicated on reader being able to walk, to use both hands, to be able to see and hear. Reader inserts are kind of inherently ableist - it would be pretty impossible to write an insert that accounted for every disability! - we just tend to be more ready to draw the line at other aspects of physical description. (Probably because it impacts more people!)
As far as names go, the only character who has a published name is Doll (and I only included that because she abandoned that name when she went into hiding, all her other names she adopted and has no attachment to, like reader would in her position) and even then, you hear her real name I think 3 times? Otherwise, they all have nicknames and nicknames only. I do have names for them in my head (just part of how I develop my characters, I know everything about them before I write them) but they’re not included in the story. I haven’t ever shared them on Tumblr, either. Doc goes by Dr. Miller after she marries Joel but that’s because she took his name so it would be the same for reader. Otherwise, she goes by Kid, Doc, Teach, Baby, Love, Sweetheart, etc. Doll is usually Doll, Cyare, Mesh’la, an adopted name, or Sister. In Yearling, Bambi is just what Joel calls her because she reminds him of a frightened, wild deer. That’s definitely not her actual name and I think that’s mentioned in chapter one.
I will admit, I give my characters very vibrant backstories which might nudge them more into OC territory and I do include the x OC tag on AO3 because of that. I’m definitely not trying to mislead anyone to get more readers! I’ll be honest, I figured like a dozen people tops would ever read anything I wrote, it didn’t even really cross my mind. I wrote it for me because it was fun and felt good to do, everything else has just been a bonus.
All that being said, I am sorry I misled you! That wasn’t my intention and I hope you don’t feel like you invested too much time or emotional energy only to be let down.
I appreciate you reaching out and I hope this was helpful! Love you!
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Fanfiction writing asks
Well, i’d ask you all these questions but i need to choose so 12, 26, 36, 72, 79
(35. Will flower shop fic WAS A FREAKING MASTERPIECE 😭🧎🏻♀️🛐)
Heya there! Hahaha stawwp you’re too sweet!! 🥹🥹🥹 but thank you for the ask!🥰
12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?
Suuureee haha.. ha.. ha…👀
Nah, I mean, I try, but I’m just very shit at planning things out. It also depends on what kind of fic it is - for Stargazing I have an excel sheet that’s broken down into chapters/days in the villa and then what should happen in the morning, afternoon, evening, and night, but I strayed away from it many a time lol. For Beloved and Beloathed I have exactly zero outline whatsoever🙈 I don’t outline one shots either, except for Snog, Marry, Die, where I planned out the order of who dies when based on the horror film tropes (first is the comedic relief, then jock, then nerd, etc.)😄 I’m more of an intuitive, “go with the flow” kinda person and am very chaotic while writing. If I get an idea, I instead start a google doc with bullet points just jotting down thoughts or quotes that pop into my head:)
26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?
When I really want to get to the scene I’m super excited about, but I have to write 500 000 words before I can get to it😭😭😭 it makes me wanna crawl out if my skin sometimes lol😂
And also the preparation before writing - like, if I’m in the mood to write, but I have to have at least some idea of an outline and do at least some research before I can actually write😞 then I spiral into it and start overthinking everything and that really kills the vibe😒
36. What fic are you proudest of?
I’m honestly proud of all of them, otherwise I wouldn’t have posted them haha😅 but I’m gonna say Stargazing, for the sheer amount of time and effort it takes to write it. I can’t believe I decided to do something so incredibly ambitious and time consuming for my first fanfic - kudos to me lol!🙈
72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?
Aww I love all of my commenters and always giggle and kick my feet when I get a comment, it’s impossible to pick one🥺🥺🥺 I absolutely melt when people pull out quotes from my stories - the serotonin boost it gives me is impeccable lol🥹 or when people say they like my writing style🥰 or when people say they laughed or cried or felt scared while reading something I just- The fact that the silly little words I put together evoke such strong feelings and reactions in others makes me just so immensely happy, I can’t even express it😭💕💕💕
79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?
Lol I don’t feel qualified enough to give writing advice😅😅 But if I must, I guess what I’ll say is - write simple. There’s definitely beauty in simplicity and overusing fancy words doesn’t necessarily make it better. I think it’s more powerful to use big words sparingly, so that there’s more impact in when you do use them, but otherwise it can be jarring and won’t feel natural.
Fanfiction Writing Ask
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Hi Briana!
I’ve been meaning to send over a message, however AO3 isn’t always accessible to me heheh. Luckily I found your tumblr!
I wanted to say that I read your work Adtitulo and it was amazing! It was incredibly written in practically every aspect. Each act had a complete arc, there were no loose ends, at every point I felt satisfied that my questions were answered. I think about your fic a lot, and it’s an incredible concept. I can tell you put lots of work into it. It surprised me to see it was one of your only fics, I implore you to write more!
When it came to the characters I felt you handled them well, and realistically. You set up Tom to fail, as well as kept Harry and Draco’s interactions balanced. Too often I find with stories that depict an assault, the survivor is treated with bird bones. I didn’t notice this with Draco, so well done!
One thing I noticed the frequent scenes of assault. Now usually I recommend to authors is not to include actual scenes with dialogue and the like at all. Scenes of sexual assault can be incredibly jarring and potentially triggering for readers. However, I felt you held this task maturely. The scenes weren’t immaturely handled, they had the intended impact on the reader. I think you handled this well, and I trust you’ll continue to improve in tackling big issues in later writings.
You’ve got it, kid! I wrote in my notes here: “WOW. Complete. You’re going to Hollywood kid. So jam packed, and each act had an arc. Iconic.”
Do you write original work in addition to fanfiction? I think you should consider it!
I’m looking forward to reading more from you. Keep writing, and keep up all the great work I know you’re doing. When I get a chance on AO3 I’ll throw you a message too!
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read the fic. I look forward to reading more in the future!!
<3
Where do I even begiiiin omg 🥹
Thank you so, so, so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me ❤��� *Adtitulo* is like a child to me and the whole process, from the first brainstorming sesh to when I published the last chapter, was an incredibly exciting and vulnerable undertaking. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written and I put a lot of heart and soul into it. So, when I see other people interacting with it-sharing their comments, leaving kudos, etc.-it makes me so, so happy. I appreciate everyone who gave my lil story a chance 💕
Thank you, also, for your feedback regarding the Assault scenes/arc. I did my best to handle them with care, as I felt they needed to be included to better explore Draco’s psyche and to further characterize Voldemort. My main goal was to let bad stuff happen to Draco without it crossing the territory into “torture porn”, does that make sense? 😅 Regardless, I’m always learning and growing and I appreciate that you see a future where I can continue to do that with my writing. 💕
As for original work, I’m actually working on a book currently! It’s more of a hobby right now, but writing is always something I’ve loved and hope one day to be able to call it a career. I’ve got so many ideas and I really hope I get the chance to share them one day. Also, I love that you mentioned Hollywood, one day I’ll get Warner Bros Studio to listen to me 🤣
Feel free to send me a message anytime, whether here or Ao3! Thank you again for reaching out and Happy Reading!
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How are you feeling about the episode? I’m sad, and it felt a bit like and incomplete goodbye but at least I kinda understand why it had to be that way
Hi, sweet anon. Answers below the cut 💜
I’m feeling a mixture of things. Sadness, for sure, but also gratitude. Ten years is a long time to get to spend with a beloved character on our screens, and the fact that Jay has ended up meaning so much to so many of us just shows how good much of the writing has been over the years, and how incredible Jesse has been at bringing Jay to life for us. Also, fanfic has enhanced my love for Jay as well. I’ve loved writing for him, and reading other people’s writing for him. I’ve loved making him queer as all hell in my writing, and I’m gonna continue to do so. We can keep him around in our fics. There’s a part of that thought that also makes me feel kind of sad, but hopeful at the same time. His final arc, about which I’ll share my feelings below, has already sparked an idea for a fic I’m gonna start planning at the coffee shop tomorrow morning.
In terms of the episode, and Jay’s final arc, it all felt very rushed. I genuinely think they could have made this storyline interesting and impactful, our wired-through-the-heart boy getting lost in the grey area that is ten years of working under Voight and the example he sets. The thought of Jay finding himself wanting to resort to Voight’s tactics to make cases go how he needs them to is interesting to me, because Jay is self aware enough to then realise he needs to get out at that point, that this is changing him and he doesn’t like it, doesn’t like himself this way. Excuse me, though, he does not want to be Voight. I don’t buy it. He wants to make use of the tactics Voight does, in order to make things right in any way he can. That I would buy. Deciding not to be Voight because Voight has always told him not to be??? Nah. But leaving because he was overwhelmed by all the morally grey stuff going on around him, perpetuated by his boss? I understand that too. If they’d had more time, they could have landed it right.
I like that they honoured Jay’s character by making his ending about his morals, a big part of who he has been from the start. I’m not glad he went back to the army after what we know it did to him before, and I seriously wish they’d taken at least half a season to show us how Jay was starting to feel, to show him on this descent into hopelessness that led him to KILLING A MAN, rather than have him already be at the end of a journey we never actually saw him taking.
I love Jay Halstead, I’m gonna miss him so much, and I can’t wait to write more silly little stories about him to help keep him around ❤️❤️
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Characters that do not exist in genshin impact in-game but I write about !
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⚠️Warning ~ Mention of Aether x xiao (gay) /fem reader / oc / fan fiction
📝Notes ~ It might be a bit messy lol (it’s my first fiction post) I hope you like it , if you don’t like it it’s okay you can move on 👍
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The Golden-Winged King’s twin Alatus
Alatus also known as the original design of xiao or red xiao
I call him Alatus since calling him red xiao is kinda weird
As written in the title my headcanon is that Alatus is Xiao’s older twin
Many say he is flirty and I think so too but I think he would also be a big softy towards his s/o
He smiles 24/7 and loves hanging out with people that are close to him
He is the opposite of his twin brother Xiao, he gets along with almost anyone he meets and is fairly popular among girls 🥴
Although they are different like the moon and sun they get along well and are very close
Flirt with anyone doesn’t matter what gender he is just like that
but no one knows that he never dated anyone and never even had his first kiss🤭
When you flirt back he will return it back but is secretly bashful inside and is bad at hiding the blush that formes on his cheeks
Loves to tease his brother (not too much) but secretly really wants him just to smile again
Unlike Xiao he loves to go to Liyue harbor and just watch people (he finds it interesting to watch human behavior)
He Doesnt really like to show his vulnerable side in front of anyone
He doesn’t want anyone to worry about him especially xiao
When Alatus feels his karma being worse he hides himself from everyone so no one sees this side of him
You rarely find him being seriously angry or irritated
Bro has ultimate patient
Asks Aether (I write Aether bcs I chose him as my traveler and also bcs I ship Aether and xiao) to interact with xiao because Alatus knows Aether is one of the few people xiao is comfortable with
He may be almost friends with anyone he meets but actually he only has Aether and y/n as close friends
Alatus and Xiao can make their wings and tail appear when they want to though no one can touch it
Xiao rarely shows his bird features but Alatus shows them when he is resting on a tree or simply feels like it
When he does he cleans his feathers and sometimes looks like a pompom
It’s also cute when he sleeps with his wings and tail out
He covers his body with his wings and surrounds himself with his tail (I’m not sure how to describe it but I’ll maybe put a drawing if I can)
You become close friends once you only see through his flirty facade
The Kreideprinz’s Brother Rubedo
people who write about him give him different names and some call him Rubedo and I am one of them ☺️ his name is Rubedo
I think unlike Albedo he is very emotional and he shows that he is emotional
He is very quiet in nature so I think he would get along with a person that is quite and gentle
His eyes are ice blue (rather than teal like albedos) and they hold endless curiosity
He is curious about other things simple things that is normal to any other person and not really the alchemical curiosity
He is curious about those this since he never reallly got to see them
When you first found him in the cave he was tense
Thousand thoughts ran through his mind like—"are they going to hurt me?” But relaxed when he saw you meant no harm
When you offered your hand for him to hold he was hesitating and scared but also craving for care since he never got it. But he took your hand after seeing your reassuring eyes
Well we’ll talk about the first interaction in a another time—
He is touch-starved and therefore loves soft attention
The affect you have on him…oh mah ga
Simply sharing with him something small can lighten up his whole world, darling whether that be what you did that day or share your food with him or literally anything
He also loves it when you read him stories before you both go to sleep
He loves it when you cup his face in your palms and give a kiss on his forehead it makes him feel wanted and not unwanted like his own mother that simply threw him away to the dragon
He may not know how to comfort you with words but he holds you close when he knows something isn’t right
He tried you repay you in someway
Rubedo has nightmares quite often in the beginning, where he remembers again how his mother looked at him disappointingly and how he got eaten by the dragon
He will have horror written all over his face cold sweat covering his whole body and tearful eyes
He seeks you in those situations. He’ll scramble out of bed and lay next to you
Though he keeps a distance when he does lay next to you afraid that you might not like it when he is too close to you
But you don’t mind so when you do find him lay next to you you know that he had that nightmare again so you hold him close
You whisper how you’ll be there for him and that he is not a failure and how he has a place in this world too
He listens to every single word you say and let them directly sink into his heart and let’s himself cry to sleep
Overall you got his back and he got yours ☺️ and please keep it that way
He loves to go pick Cecilia flowers with you btw-
Rubedo’s little child Losis
Losis is the whopper flower albedo
I call him Rubedo’s child cuz the little flower trusts Rubedo and the little one follows his master around
So I imagine the whopper flower like a child like a duckling waddling behind his parent
Is like a child version of Albedo (though the hair is not braided unlike Rubedo and albedo)
Is VERY shy and hides behind Rubedo most of the time
Has trust issues with Albedo since…well Albedo stabbed him
He almost never talks since he is a whopper flower
Loves being carried by you and Rubedo and when you do he falls a sleep most of the time
He’ll come up to one of you and stretch his little hands towards you pleaing to carry him
He also loves going in nature it brings him comfort
Loves picking flowers and putting them in Rubedo or your hair (sometimes his own)
If he does put flowers in his own hair he looks like a small flower bush waddling around ☺️
Is very emotional like Rubedo and…cry’s sometimes…
He wears a blue one piece?? (Not sure how to say this either) and a red flower pin on his left-side chest
Loves it too when you read a story for him or sing for him
He doesn’t necessarily need to eat but he would eat vegetable porridge 🥣 but you have to feed him since he’s a bit clumsy with those kind of stuff
He’d sit on your lap and eat the porridge you feed him
You and Rubedo are basically his parents and albedo is his uncle 😉
He can turn back to his whopper flower form whenever he wants
Sometimes he transforms into one of the flowers and chills there it’s quite interesting to look at
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Please do credit the original publisher/creater of the above image cuz it does NOT belong to me (I found the two in google) (and gif in tumble gif)
Credits to some username : dourpeep too bcs I got inspiration from them and mixed some of their hcs with mine 🫶
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#genshin fanfic#xiao#alatus#headcanon#genshin headcanons#aether x xiao#rubedo#fanfic#writing#aether#my ocs#headcanons#gayboy
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talking to a friend and while i really genuinely enjoy ai.ni i won’t deny it did mizuki and date so dirty and the dates are like...my comfort fictional family and also mizuki as a protagonist while she did useful, cool things, was lampshaded by the clone bs. so i’m just going to write her out like the big twist isn’t completely making her chained to one thing which is the past / present + bibi ( who i actually really like i just... why can’t mizuki have a loved one that isn’t a:) a clone of herself or vice versa b:) has to go missing for plot (date) because he’s already figuring shit out in ryuki’s route. also i think i’ll just leave implications in most threads that date is healing from the ‘explosion route’ or out in the field soon after so they’re BOTH investigating as detectives and they take routine turns of sharing aiba.
while i love mizuki and aiba together it just doesn’t hit for me the same as date and aiba,and i couldn’t really see aiba with anyone else even after playing this game with the emotional impact of aistf / og game. and i actually don’t know how i feel about an a13 i should be happier we even got this kind of...au sequel thing and i am!
i just wish it was more a proper sequel but. mizuki route based when -- but i’d really be curious if mizuki got her own ai-ball that was made just for her by pewter like aiba was for date. even if mizuki and aiba were adorable, that ability of bouncing off seamlessly and reading each other’s minds before they even think is missing in their relationship although i like how aiba mentored her? it’s weird how aiba is different with both dates. but ultimately in my very canon divergent ai.ni aiba does go back to date, date isn’t gone that long and gets to see his adoptive daughter grow up and help her grow up, mizuki isn’t losing more things and above all --
mizuki gets to cry.
#𝐏𝐒𝐀 *ೃ༄ do you wanna get your ass kicked?#𝐎𝐎𝐂 *ೃ༄ what looks gone but comes back even stronger.#looking at you shib we really let the game have it
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I’m so sorry you are feeling down lately. I do want to share that the first fic you wrote for Jonsa made such a big impact on me? Like the topic and the angst was so heavy on that one that I never re-read it but it would randomly pop-up in my brain every now and then and I’d feel sad but I’ll remind myself of the ending with them in the small kitchen and how hopeful that ending was. I’d always think “wonder how they’re doing now?” Like their my actual friends. I always think they’re living in domestic bliss now and making up for lost time cause that makes me so happy.
The good news, anon, is that my general 'feeling down' outside of fandom/writing has passed, at least. But there's just been a few changes in my life that have sort of messed me up creatively and that makes me sad, because I love writing. I'm hoping once things even out, my creativity and inspiration will come back!
As for every time is the last time... It always amazes me that my stuff sticks with people. And I completely understand never being able to read it again! I know it definitely wasn't for everyone (but alas, I couldn't get it out of my head, and thus created an ao3 account lol). If it helps, yes, they are happy. They found their way back to each other and they are at peace.
Thanks for the lovely message, anon 💕
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Day 36
While still at Olympic I earned a special badge, Olympic Ocean Steward. This badge is dedicated to Mary Finley, and to any anonymous donors who are strangers to me. You may have seen my story shared by a mutual friend, or found me through EDS/HSD hashtags, but it takes a sincere type of kindness to put your hard-earned money towards someone you don’t know asking you to donate for a rare disorder, fundraiser, charity of any kind. Thank you.
Today we got up very early in order to make it into the Hurricane Ridge area. This is usually the most popular part of the park, and I also knew there were road closures, so we were sure to go early and on a weekday; the best way to see the parks when they are less crowded, but also to leave less impact as a visitor to these busy places. I mean, look how serious I am, with this view in my pajamas.
It worked; we waited just about 10 min or so to get in and there was lots of parking. We walked some of the paved trails in this area; far flung views of snowy topped mountains, wildflowers still in bloom, and on the other side of the ridge we were treated with the San Juan Islands, and Canada across the sea.
Even though it was “less crowded” for a weekday, we found ourselves wanting to get off the beaten path some. Just outside of the parking lot there is a dirt road called Devastation Road; although I couldn’t find out why it has such a gnarly name, it looked like it was going to have stellar views. There were definitely less people in general, and we were right about it being beautiful. At the end of the road, we had a little picnic for lunch. I also proved that Husbands clothes are all so big I can fashion anything into fully, warm pants for the gusty chilly winds. Did I have my own in the car? Yes. Is it more fun to do this? Yes.
Instead of choosing a hike in the pretty alpine area at the end of the road full of cars, we opted to go to a hike we had seen on the way in that had just one car at the trailhead. The sign at PJ lake had said it was only .9 miles, and I had remembered from reading that it was 600 feet of elevation loss/gain. But we wanted to hike, and I was feeling surprisingly good today. The lovely weather on most of this trip has made me suspicious that my condition is definitely exacerbated by the Texas heat and humidity. You see, I hadn’t experienced a regular Texas summer since I started working seasonally in some capacity in 2013. In 2016 I was in Big Bend Country, and that may as well be another state, the humidity is so low, and the elevation was high. When the pandemic struck in 2020, I didn’t take a seasonal job and was immediately reminded how utterly terrible summer is at home. Did working in Hawaii, Wyoming, and Oregon all those years delay my diagnosis? I’m thinking so.
We met the hikers in the single car at the trailhead just a few hundred yards into the trail. They were kind of wrecked, but very friendly. We chatted for a few moments and then we had the whole trail and lake to ourselves. I could not be more grateful that I was feeling so well, because this hike would have absolutely ruined me otherwise. In fact, although it was short, this was definitely one of the harder hikes I’ve done on this trip. Some of it was so steep that I was shocked the National Park Service even designed and maintains it as an actual trail. It was clearly built for the use of mountain goats. But, great weather, beautiful scenery, no humans, we put on our mountain goat suits. A nice surprise and reward was this magnificent waterfall! I’ll call it Knee Breaker Falls.
The lake was just uphill of the falls and was totally worth all the careful scooting downhill we did.
We could see trout all throughout the clear water, jumping up to feast on bugs constantly. Late season fireweed still bloomed on the banks, crowded by pine trees and flotsam. A fairytale waterfall trickled down a cliffside.
It feels weird to say that the way down was the easy part, but I really, really hate uphill hikes. It is so hard for me, and really always have been. I am glad to understand *why* better now, but I was worried since this was going to be extreme. And here is the real surprise: I did…great! What the heck happened!? Was I fueled by natures beauty, or maybe the negative energy of park visitors? The last time I did this well on a hike, and I am not kidding, was probably 2012. That’s the last year I remember hiking feeling like “myself” without struggle. What was special about today? It’s the perfect mix of fitness, sleep, food, everything, that you can’t ever do on purpose. You can’t copy it, you can’t make it happen. What a rare and special thing this hike was. To get to the top of a difficult hike, even if it’s only 9/10 of a mile, and feel…fine. I’ve had more trouble walking to the bathroom at my house than this hike. I might be dreaming.
Given the fantastical situation, we thought we’d play our luck and see if we could still get into the Sol Duc Hot Springs Resort, still in the park but over an hour away. We did! Luckily it was outside, and we got to soak for an hour. It was almost too much for me with a heat sensitivity and I wasn’t even in the hottest pool. The A+ ranger at the fee booth gave us the heads up that the salmon had just started heading up the Sol Duc River earlier that day, so we thought we’d test our luck again by going to look. And don’t ya know it, there they were. Shiny and determined fish driven by instinct, amazing sensory perception, and probably insanity, flinging themselves up torrential waterfalls like their life depends on it. Ironic, since after they make it and complete fertilization, they will fall apart and die.
Do you know how hard it is to get a picture of jumping salmon at dusk? Harder than getting a photo of a Junior Ranger Badge in a cave!
They were mostly terrible at it, and in about an hour we only saw 1 salmon that made it up one tier of the falls. There was one who failed so spectacularly, its whole body wacked against the rock, sounding just like a clown hitting an unsuspecting circus visitor in the face with a dead fish.
This is the only river where salmon spawn almost every season; at least 4 different types of salmon come from the ocean up the Sol Duc, and each species at a different season. How lucky were we!
My favorite thing I learned, that seems almost magical, is that these fish have so much delightful nitrogen in their bodies when they die, it released a super-charged amount into the forest and animals, making rich and fast growth. The cycle of life is pumped up to the extreme in these areas because of these salmon that use memories and chemical signals to make their way miles from the ocean back to where they were born, to keep an amazing cycle of life going.
We finished our evening with a picnic in the dark before heading home. This was one of the best and most memorable days of my trip so far. Not only did we see and do so many amazing things, but to have the rare day of clarity and little pain is one of the most valuable things in the entire world. Getting to experience this with my best Husband friend is so meaningful, it’s beyond words.
Haylan
#ehlers danlos awareness#ehlers danlos life#ehlers danlos society#ehlers danlos syndrome#ehlers danlos#hypermobility#hypermobility spectrum disorder#hEDS#HSD#connective tissue disorders#disabled hikers#olympic national park#salmlon run#sol duc#sol duc hot springs#sol duc river#salmon#pj lake#hurricane ridge#good spoon day
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dear yuletide writer 2022
Dear yuletide writer
I’m intimidated.
I’ve read a few letters to know what to write to you in this letter and- well.
I’m none the wiser but I’m terrified I won’t give you enough information so I really hope this is helping!
So, first of all (actually secondly, to be fair): THANK YOU SO MUCH!
This is my first yuletide and everything is so exciting and now I’m writing this letter! This is going to be SO MUCH FUN and I sincerely hope it will be the same for you!
I hope you'll have the utmost fun writing and please, don’t just write for me! It’s first and foremost for you and I’m just a very happy beneficiary!
This being said, let’s get started:
Likes
M/M Pairings (But I don’t mind and also like good written M/F Pairings, or M/M/F)
Friendships
Found Family Dynamics
Soulmate-AUs
Hurt/Comfort (dealing with PTSD, trauma, phobics, you name it, and being taken care of, getting help and being loved)
Slow Burn
Smut (including, blowjobs, handjobs, analsex, fingering, etc, just mind the dnws please :))
Porn with Plot
Angst
Fluff
Happy Endings
Cuddling
Tender Touches (holding the neck, caressing the cheek/lip, hand in hair)
kisses
getting together
first times
DNW:
A/B/O Dynamics
Rape/Non-Con
Incest
BDSM
Dom/Sub (slight undertones are alright, but please no full-on BDSM Relationship, thank you)
Underage
Abuse of animals
Bloodplay
Watersports
Impact Play
de-aging
humiliation
vampires/werwolves AU
reader-insert
My beloved fandoms are
The Hurog-Series
Seriously, I LOVE THE BOOKS!
Oreg got me after his first sentence and I kept falling deeper and deeper for him.
I love his banter, his wit and his power, and I love that he, as the probably most powerful mage walking around, still has boundaries.
I love his and Wardwicks dynamics, the friendship, love and trust they share and of course I love Wardwick, our little dumb looking hero with heart of gold and caring nature.
I also really, really love Tisala because she is a wonderful, loving person and a fierce badass and she wouldn’t hesitate to put Ward back in his place if she had to.
That being said:
I’d love to read something about Oreg being taken care of, I’m sure he still suffers from plenty of PTSD and he deserves hugs and love and soft strokes through his hair.
Maybe, if you’d also like, a polyamourus relationship between the three of them, maybe some banter between Tosten and Oreg, maybe just deep and reassuring friendship moments between the dragon and the hurogmeten.
Anyway, I’ll be happy!
A Quiet Place
These movies.
THESE MOVIES.
I love the world, the always luring danger, the silence, the smallest sounds are doom, the atmosphere.
I love Regan and I love Emmett and I love Regan and Emmett (But NOT as a romantic couple! This is really, really DNW!)
I love their dynamics, the speech barriers, the taking care, the father/daughter-big brother/little sister vibes
To be honest, I have no specific prompt, I’d just love to read some fics of them!
(okay, while I’m writing, maybe ASL lessons? Their own language? Gift giving? Taking care of emmetts wound (Not in a weird sexual way)? the fallout after the radio station? I don’t- I just- you know? You know.
Olympus has fallen (Movies)
Mike Banning is a walking disaster and I love him for that.
He and his (imho) boyfriend are kinda doomed from the start (how good can something run, when it is your job to literally take a bullet for your husband?) but they make it work, while screaming “DRAMA” and running from terrorists.
Again, I guess, no prompts for this fandom, too?, but I don’t (really don’t) mind canon typical violence and speech.
I’m pretty sure someone REALLY needs to start to look after Mike before he burns out (wouldn’t that be a lovely task for our beloved president asher?) So yes, he also deserves some comfort (and to be honest: therapy).
That being said, also Ben deserves his PTSD outburst, his nightterrors after nearly being killed by terrorist (twice!) and his fears and panic attacks being take care of (and therapy)
But this doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, great friendships are also this: great!
Maybe they didn’t even like each other at the beginning? (Mike can be bossy, to be fair) ;)
Chernobyl
My beloved.
Boris and Valerie have written hurt, no comfort wide across their lovely faces in big, bolt letters but they deserve some comfort nonetheless, right? Right!
I’d like the fear and the glooming doom, the invisible death, lingering in every breath take, the fighting against windmills and against invisible, untouchable party members who just order something so utterly stupid that-!
I like the ship of them because the ever present fear of being caught, (generally don’t like homophobia, but canon and period typical homophobia are such a great fuel for drama and hurt/comfort plots…) and that middle aged men can still find and fall in love.
But also, the friendship between these two is awesome and I love to read more about them.
So, that’s it.
I hope this got you some insight, feel free to also browse my ao3 (or tumblr) for more, it this isn’t enough.
Have a great yuletide!
And, again, thank you so much!
lots of love
masked_madness
~~~ Mini Challenges! ~~~
Yuleporn
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