#i will have to get into why this is a mutual issue with them in another fic
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I’m team Leona x Miss Raven all the way let’s goooooo
Why is this a series now: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
I-IT’S NOT A COMPETITION……………………… ………. ………. ……. … ..: .. .. . ……::::…… …. .. . . .. . .::.. ….. … . ..: . Wh-What is happening here… Should I be concerned 🤡
NEiTHER OF THEM ARE A sERIOUS CONTeNDOR aS A BAaChElor… Y’all get that, right? … Right?
I entertained Leona x Raven as a crack ship because I thought it would ironic if the second-born prince yet again was left “second place” (this time in matters of romance) and because child!me thought Scar x Zazu was a thing. Ah, one sided love… There’s also intrigue that could come from someone of noble birth taking an interest in someone whom he sees as so beneath him… but also them finding middle ground in being “cursed” outcasts Beauty and the Beast, anyone… Ijchsksbskw I like the idea of them constantly butting heads again, real Scar x Zazu of them even if they mutually (and begrudgingly) respect one another’s skills. I ended up thinking about this a lot more than I think I should have, and it got… too fleshed out… There’s lots of avenues to explore here, so I think I kind of get where you’re coming from, Anon.
Silver x Raven is cute in its own right but is also very picturesque. Where’s the flavor… Where is it… It feels like a lot of their troubles would come from silly misunderstandings or miscommunications more than anything… or maybe issues dealing with the rest of Diasomnia being curious or invasive?? The emotional stakes feel lower because of Silver’s tendencies to fix problems rafter than make them. He’s too good, man. Maybe their biggest conflict is trying to convince the other they are “worth” loving as a partner since these two idiots have some pretty bad self-esteem. They have to earn that fairy tale ending!
… Anyway, there is something really “NRC” about the image of two visibly buff men have you seen the arms on L*ona and Silber glowering (well, Leona’s glowering, Silver is staring off into space really fiercely) at each other while Miss Raven suffocates between them and begs them to please just be chill, be normal for once 💀 Your typical day at NRC… The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and yet another brawl is on the cusp of breaking out because Person A breathed in Person B’s general direction the wrong way or something.
(“H-How am I going to explain this to the headmaster?!” Miss Raven would surely groan. Silver would apologize for the trouble, Leona would say the other guy had it comin’ to him.)
P.S. I can’t believe J word the OG was completely left out of the running/j 😂 though I guess since this is a discussion about alternate ships, it’s fair to sit him in the time-out corner www
#twisted wonderland#twst#Leona Kingscholar#Jade Leech#Silver#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Raven Crowley#notes from the writing raven#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc
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we (i) need some more cat!max !!! you know how some cats don’t like other people and will like hiss at them, i imagine max to be exactly like this. he loves his partner (obviously, you’re his everything) but around other people he’s like 🧍♂️😾 maybe one day he’s sitting with you in the sun (making biscuits !!! cat!max would sooooo knead his hand on your side and he’s so sleepy he doesn’t register that he’s even doing it but it’s sooo sweet 🫠) and a couple mutual friends come over and he knew they were coming, he just hadn’t realised that much time had passed so he’s just sitting there frowning the whole time with his tail constantly moving against you to maintain your attention !!!
i love cat!max with my whole heart ❤️🩹 love you 💞💞
Oh my god yes. I think I might once again be obsessed with the hybrid!au.
So firstly, we said that before you max used to always repress his cat instincts because growing up he was told they were signs of weakness and vulnerability and would distract him from racing.
It's only when you come along and help him that he starts to really embrace it. Sidenote, maybe when you start dating him you just automatically start to do some stuff that you know cat hybrids normally love and Max is so confused about why you're being so nice to him encouraging him.
Anyway, once Max gets over that hurdle, his cat instincts come out in full force. But only with you. He's still very shy and uncomfortable about showing it around anyone else. He's slowly starting to open up to his trainer and some key members of his team, but it's a VERY slow process.
So when you tell Max you have friends coming over, he is NOT happy because that means someone is gonna come and take your attention away from him! As far as Max is concerned from the moment you get home, it's like a switch flicks and he's able to just enjoy being a cat hybrid.
Your friends only come in the afternoon, so you give Max as much time as possible. You even decide to fuck and overstimulate him to make sure he's good.
The issue with that though, is that once Max is all fucked out and tired and just so so happy and cosy, all he wants to do is just lay on your chest and kneading your tummy and purring. Which you let him do of course, you could never deny him that.
Except that your friends arrive before Max has gotten his fill of post sex cuddles and snoozing and he is NOT happy. You tell him that he can stay in the bedroom and you'll just tell your friends that he isn't there, but no! No that's even worse because then he wouldn't even be able to see you!
Which is how you end up sharing a couch with a very pissed off Max who has his tail very firmly wrapped around you and is refusing to engage in conversation. Luckily, your friends are understanding and know how territorial cat hybrids can be so honestly it just tells them that you're clearly keeping Max very happy.
When your friends leave, Max is immediately rubbing himself ALL over the couches and pillows and stealing some of your hoodies to do the same with because now the apartment smells like your friends and max does not like it.
Once he's satisfied, he just plonks down on you and rubs his head against you until you start patting his back and stroking him and you have to do this for like two hours before Max forgives you for ending post sex cuddles early.
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welcome back to me being pity.
I don’t mind Izu///ocha* in fanon, there’s lots of cute content out there are they are adorable after all. I can’t not love them! However, when it comes to canon, and believing they have to be canon… i have issues with that. and when the justification is this being a shonen manga and not focusing on love? Oh. That pisses me off.
There’s lots of shonen manga who are romantic comedies, slice of life, and in general just are about friendships and learning about feelings —but even when talking about just the typical popular shonen, this isn’t a good excuse for me.
There is no need to add 10 chapters about love in order to make it with a natural flow —small details are there for a reason! And I’m making a list of ways izu///ocha could have been developed easily without spending energy on it, using what its already in canon.
The end of the togachako fight, Himiko gets the All Might keychain, a symbol they both have shared to symbolize their crushes on Izuku and their unity in it. Instead of drawing her covering completely with her hand, show her giving it to Ochako, or already in her hand, not completely covered; this would express Himiko’s blessing and wish for Ochako to get to confess her feelings too. An “it’s your turn now, good luck!” moment. Bittersweet, tragic, but also would make it less wrong for her to say her feelings and date Izuku in the end -after all, it would be implied Himiko wanted that! But this way, covered and in Toga’s hand, the message is not clear (is she going to confess still? Or cover her feelings as they “died” with Himiko? I don’t believe she’s dead but shhhhh)
Mutual symbols. During the Christmas present exchange, they get each other’s, an All Might keychain and a bag of mochis, two things they personally like but gifted to other people, like the rest of class A. As we establish this keychain means “Deku-kun” to her and holds onto it, why not making mochis reappear more for Izuku? They are food, so he could have said “sharing mochis” as things you do with a boyfriend. Wouldn’t it be adorable he just said that without noticing that’s Ochako’s favorite thing? If we go further, maybe add a simple scene, where he thinks about how he wishes to share some with her, maybe during one of those calm moments before the war happened.
Have Izuku struggle a little when complimenting her when he thought she was talking badly about herself. If this is your crush, or person you are developing feelings for, how could you just be this confident about such embarrassing things, specially when you are already shy about love as a whole? Even him would know that’s embarrassing no matter how clueless he is for other things, so it would be better to have him struggle to say those things —looking at the floor, playing with his fingers, blushing. Typical Deku stuff, nothing new for his character, but it would confirm there’s something going on his side too that persists clearly even after the first war.
the hand holding; ochako grabbed his hand when they were bringing him back to UA and civilians were against it. It’s a way to comfort him, and telling him everything is going to be okay, he’s not alone. Even during that context, wouldn’t that be a bigger thing between crushes? After all, Deku blushed a lot in the beginning of the final war, when he was grabbed from where he was supposed to be and people he cares for are in the most dangerous situation of them all, why wouldn’t he blush if the girl he likes grabs his hand to support him?
Thinking about Himiko; a reason he could have not reacted is “well, this is the moment they are actually developing serious feelings for each other beyond a crush”. If I was writing this, I would make Ochako have flashbacks of Izuku’s terrible state during her speech —emotions getting her, she just really needs them to let him in! With his hopelessness, isolation, dirtiness and hunger! Isn’t this reason enough to get desperate for? She is screaming with all she has to please let him stay, he is just like anyone else… but thinks about Himiko instead? And not just to stop some sadness, but about making her smile (spoilers for chapter 425; instead of turning negatives into zeros, she is talking about turning negatives into positives. Saving her, and making her happy too, because there’s a need for happiness for them all, not just neutrality and pretending nothing is wrong). This decision establishes her hero arc and ideals, which is amazing! But I don’t see how this is an izu///ocha moment in canon really —just because Izuku cries, doesn’t mean this is good romance.
ill never forget the little parallels Ochako has with All Might, and idk how to just let it be when ppl limit them as “her being the love interest”. No, her ideals are so cool, and I’m really hoping she achieves what she wanted for Himiko, so we can also add more angst to Izuku’s character and show her as the hero she is
*i censor it just to avoid appearing in the tags; ppl who want to find content of their ship don’t need to see what other people think of it, specially when it’s critical.
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Hi I'm unwell. Another long post probably, thank you @es46 for giving me an idea !! click readmore for accidental aroace rants plus some silly shenanigans (the aroace rants happened on accident my bad)
So I one million percent agree that Ingo and Emmet would probably clock Elesas crush right away, even if they are aroace themselves, they see Elesa as a sister basically and know how she is (useless lesbian (she is bisexual w/ a woman leaning preference)) I definitely think of them as a trio who grew up together so they probably watched her go through her awkward teen years getting crushes on every pretty woman who was nice to her, but Skyla is a different situation obviously so they mutually agree to come at it from a different angle this time, much to Elesas dismay
I think Emmet would be super direct about it but think he's being slick because he isn't SAYING what he really means, right? But saying "I am asking for no reason in particular if you are single and also into women :>" and then dropping a "thank you for answering my random question that has no ulterior motive!" and Skyla would be like . Uh huh. Okay . (I don't know her personality SUPER well but I know she and the twins have slight beef over the more superior form of transportation planes v trains)
Emmet would also definitely try to be a "just go for it why are you so scared??" kinda guy because his concept of romance is heavily based on how he's seen it in media, but he hates watching it so it's really only the stuff he can't avoid? So hes like "obviously most relationship drama comes from not confessing so just get that part over with before it causes an issue" and doesn't ENTIRELY understand the nuance of being scared of rejection even if the other person seems interested (as well as adding on the sapphic problem of "is she flirting or just Really Friendly?")
I think Ingo is a little (lot) more empathetic than Emmet, not on purpose I just think Emmet genuinely lacks empathy and forgets to make up for it with sympathy at times, Elesa doesn't take it personally, but Ingo is absolutely a little more in tune to a social situation being stressful
Ingo, though, is also painfully aroace and his concept of love and romance is less whst you see in (straight) media and moreso in how he's defined it personally as somebody whose never felt it . He imagines it feels different from how he cares about Elesa, but she has to explain it's not that easy to really differentiate, because to love somebody you also usually love them a lot platonically as well as romantically. And that would absolutely perplex him just a smidge, because he sees love as this unreachable thing for him that's so distinct from everything else when it's really not. People just hype it up so much because of how it feels in the moment, but in reality it's actually rather difficult to define and Ingo thrives off precise definition.
He would encourage her to go for it, maybe a bit too obviously at times (no Ingo, deciding to loudly exclaim that you and your brother have somewhere to be, conveniently leaving Elesa alone with Skyla is not slick as you think it is!)
Ingo and Emmet would also absolutely try to set aside whatever feelings they have on Skyla and fully support Elesa in her relationship until the 4 actually managed to start getting along naturally, which happens eventually, it just takes time because the twins are very stubborn
It would absolutely lead to scenarios though where the twins are just a bit too pushy out of love and Elesa would probably have to tell them to back off, because romance is finicky and you have to let it happen naturally or else things get janky. I don't think they would fully get it until put into a train metaphor though
"If you try and run a train before the tracks fully built, or the engine is installed properly, even if it goes somewhere for a little while it likely won't reach it's destination" and they both go ohhhh.
Honestly I think that metaphor Ingo would come up with on the spot in an attempt to relate or process what Elesa is trying to explain, and then once they hear it everything clicks much better and they back off from trying to "speed things up", though in true assholeish brother-y nature, they have to bully her juuuust a little bit (Emmet going "WOW ELESA your face sure is red, is it too hot in here? Maybe you and Skyla should step outside for some fresh air :>" and Elesa making a strangling motion with her hands while Ingo is fighting off a laugh.
I do think that it would earn some laughs once Skyla and Elesa are actually together, and Skyla would probably have to drop the fact that she was painfully aware of the brothers attempts to push them together, much to Elesas horror
#satt speaks#submas headcannons#yeah I'm definitely unwell about them aren't I?#damn ok .#long post#fucking poast . got damn#submas
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Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.
Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).
I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.
I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!
If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?
Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.
#unforth rambles#end racism in the otw#end otw racism#i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag#now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS#WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND#(i do understand#its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest#from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly#im honestly gettibg so disgusted#do better white fandom)#im a jewish white woman with biracial kids#it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join#im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough#for fear of what they'll be exposed to here#do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is?#note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals#yall are awesome and ilu#but i only have about 75 mutuals#what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys
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i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.
#ada speaks#u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others#celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will#it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online#really. really fucking weird man#and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men'#instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying#whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not#a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice#b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards#c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but#a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares.#just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh#if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place?#if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that?#it's their body. it's not yours.#for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless#ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything#normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity#it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria#trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross#not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions.#maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference
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thinking about miravi specifically in the context of Sound and Noise...
aaravi's a person who's been forced to be hyperaware of how loud shes being at any given moment, something which she's nonetheless not very good at and ends up being told off repeatedly because she gets too loud when shes angry, or excited, or happy, or anything, really. she's not good at volume control and can't figure out how to maintain an "acceptable" level for everyone else, something that those same people don't have a tolerance for and won't listen to her when she says she really can't help it, leaving her only options to be total silence or outright rejection when she does speak. it means she gets ousted even more from social situations and even moreso read as aggressive and mistreated for being so, even when she's really trying not to be, thus meaning she can only actually become aggressive due to this fear of retaliation and mistreatment.
and miranda comes from a culture that has a huge emphasis on sound and noise and constantly being able to hear everyone even if you aren't able to see them. that's why music is so important to them, why it's a part of their language and why their language is so complex, that it's a deeply ingrained part of how they socialize with each other to begin with. even in her situation, having to control her reactions for the sake of the throne and control exactly what she says in which way, this is still far more than what she's dealing with on land. for all of this, she feels strangely put down and hurt even when other people aren't intending to, having such a major part of her socialization just abruptly missing. no one will sing with her, no one will go to the same lengths, no one is constantly communicating so that she can know what's going on even when she can't see it - and, yeah, she also gets told off repeatedly because she's being too loud or too boisterous or not using her "inside voice" and can't figure out what's an acceptable level because she's just not made to deal with this.
which means, when aaravi starts getting excited and getting loud around miranda, well, she can understand that! for miranda, she can understand this even better than what might be seen as the "norm", and can much more easily work with what aaravi gives her. in turn, aaravi is encouraged to be as loud or as boisterous as she wants to be, that she has someone else who is also loud and boisterous and likes that about her, especially someone who's confident enough (helped further by the knowledge that her entire culture and people are also like this) to not be so easily pushed over or told that there's something wrong with her for being loud. in a way, its finding someone who speaks the same language and understands what the other means in these inflections in volume, and someone who encourages this without shaming the other for how they talk.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#monster prom#this is also why i say they get even worse for everyone else when theyre together#try to tell them off for being too loud and their personalities and mutual reassurance will bounce off each other#and now theyll PURPOSEFULLY try to irritate you#(because. you know. not a lot of sympathy from people for whom this has been a repeated issue of trauma and alienation)#(they have someone to back them up now and they will not be easily cowed)#when aaravi meets other merfolk i imagine she is. very overwhelmed at first and not Thrilled about how touchy and invasive they are#but after a while i think she'd fall into the same pattern as she did with miranda#of getting used to this and realizing what the intention is behind these things#and actually getting Very Into It because its a form of community acceptance and encouragement#they are not afraid of her. they are welcoming her in. they want to make sure she knows she is a Part Of The Community.#(this also helped in kind by the realization that she can do these same things to them and they'll encourage this tenfold)#(because. its just friendliness to them. she is Like Them.)
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more than a month after my previous kotor update i am happy to announce that i have finally met jolee and had him join me <3
#el plays kotor#yes im still on kashyyyk dont look at me#i was distracted by other games for a sec lmao but sth made me return to kotor yesterday#and now the party is complete!!!#and i have found 3 star maps and the plot is thickening!!!!#i keep wondering. if i hadn't been spoiled abt the pc's true identity would i have pieced it together by now#bc the foreshadowing isn't exactly subtle#or maybe it just feels unsubtle to me precisely because i know what is being foreshadowed....#but like. from the very beginning carth is like hmm its kinda sus that you happened to be on the endar spire#and then all those conversations with bastila that make u go hmmmm what's that supposed to mean#and then... when getting the star map on kashyyyk the hologram says sth abt you matching the required behavioral patterns or whatev#and that the last time it was used was five years ago And you can reply with 'hey revan was in these parts five years ago right'#like!!! yeah!!!! it was me!!!! i was the last user five years ago thats why i match the pattern i am revannnnnnnn#i have to know. did the first kotor players back in 2003 figure it out by this point hngngngnhng#or like any other players after 2003 who played and managed to avoid spoilers#anyway back to jolee. he is so cool but also so squishy on god#apparently some ppl give him a blaster to keep him out of melee but like you cant give a blaster to a jedi..... so uncivilized.......#i set him to use force powers until he runs out of force points#but the moment he runs out of force points and jumps into the fray he goes down. sigh#maybe im doing something wrong again. maybe i should let go of my jedi pride and just give him a blaster#i should also probably use all those energy shields and battle stimulants i have hoarded. i keep forgetting abt them lmao#also!!! @ the mutual who sent me that kotor related ask also more than a month ago i just wanted to let u kno. i have replied to it#i mean if u missed it or if u didnt get a notif or forgot or anything else that's cool !!#i just get all worried that ppl might think i havent answered and that im ignoring them if they dont indicate they've seen the reply gfhgfh#but that's a me issue. i just wanted to make sure u knew 🫶#anyway!! next stop manaan maybe#but first a detour to tatooine to deal with mission's useless deadbeat brother
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I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.
i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)
it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.
the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)
#and dont even get me started on when i share my friends with each other and they choose each other over me and kick me out lmao#WHY ARE FRIENDS SO HARD#why am i just a little creature that requires certain amounts/types of social interaction that never gets met#and no one wants to do anything about it. and im forced to sit here feeling bad about it because i cant fix it either fbbdbdfghhdhjrhfdj#this whole friend and human interaction and bonding and companionship bullshit is going to be lifelong issue and im not here for it#NO ADVICE IM GIVEN WORKS. IM TIRED OF ONE SIDED BULLSHIT WHERE ONLY I TRY. HUMANS ARE ANNOYING#im like a non human creature that wears human skin and everyone except me knows and they dont want me and i domt know why#i also dont have the energy to do the whole new friends song and dance where you small talk to get to know each other#and share your life stories. i rather just hang out and become friends through enjoyment of mutual enjoyed activity????#or something like that idk#i tried so hard to be friendly to friends' friend last weekend when we all hung out so i can be adopted into their friend group but#they didnt even tell me it was nice meeting me and hanging out and didnt even say bye to me. only to my friends#and i was too sad about that to say it to them instead as they walked away. theyre way more social and good at words#and i was overwhelmed and struggling to speak so i was waiting for the queue to say those things or something#i expected it like an idiot loser becuase i thought i did a good job being a cute gremlin that fits into the group that seems to have#other goofy gremlins like me. i thought maybe they can be “my people” or something. but then they turned around and left#after telling my friends bye. and didnt acknowledge me. and i juat kept smiling and turned around and walked away too#PRETENDING IT WAS FINE. BUT IT FELT BAD. BECAUSE I FAILED TO MAKE A FRIEND WHEN I THOUGHT I DID GOOD WITH THEM FOR ONCE#so “being confident/believing in yourself” like im told to do DIDNT WORK AND IT FELT WORSE THAN DOUBTING MYSELF. YOU LIARS. ugh fhdhdhfhjssk#WHAT DO. WHY LEE BAD AT THIS. WHY IT FEEL BAD. WHY NOT JUST ACCEPT BEING ALONE 99% OF TIME AND GIVE UP. WOULD BE EASIER#lee rants#autism things#i know its rude to invite yourself into a friend group but what if i try anyway 🤪✌️
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual “thanK you aIMee” kinda feels like she woke up one day and went “fuck you kim actually”#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go “fuck you”#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went “we are covering this ground again”#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming “burn 1989 rep midnights stan!”#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said “no im not feeling it” i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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I have been. Struggling w tumblr lately and i am trying to work out Why bc this hobby means 2 much for me to let it fizzle out
#i have muse. i love these characters and i want to write them.#i talk ab them and scenarios all the time. what is the issue#i mean the issue is the actually writing part motivation is low#but i also think its just like. idk i feel like the rpc as a whole has changed and become. less of a community?#like finding new people to write with is so difficult bc no one talks to anyone new anymore#and starting to talk to new people feels so much harder than it used to and getting engagement is impossible#like i have a group of 5-10 people who r constantly showing up constantly trying and i love that i love you#but thats. thats such a small fraction of my mutuals. like whats the. why arent my mutuals willing to interact w me#like is this a me thing. is this happening to everyone or is it specifically something i need to work on#its so much worse on my other blogs its a vicious cycle of not writing bc theres no one to write w but no one new coming bc u dont write#its just. wheres the community gone#like i have over 300 followers. why do only 5 people want to talk to me
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⬐ @dutyworn ⬎
🎨Are you neurodivergent or disabled? Anything that uniquely affects your RPing?
Yes, to both.
I am neurodivergent because I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I don't like the specific descriptor of "I'm disabled" for myself (as I feel that makes it sound like I'm entirely incapable of certain things that I very much am capable of possibly with accommodations, but that's personal interpretation), but I do consider myself to be a person with a disability, one that affects how I function in my day-to-day and one that requires accommodations to maintain that functionality.
Specifically, the way this negatively affects my RPing is in three ways: executive function (or dysfunction, rather), hyperfixation, and working memory. I also have really crappy eyesight (strabismus). More details under the cut because this one got... really long.
EXECUTIVE FUNCTION/DYSFUNCTION:
Executive function/dysfunction is simple: some days, no matter how much I want to write, I can't. My brain just can't do the thing. It sucks. Sometimes it means I have to do something else until my brain unlocks the gate. Sometimes that's later that day, sometimes it's after my meds kick in, sometimes it's not for a few days or a week. Outside factors, such as work, life events, holidays, etc. all affect that ability to function, so I don't always have the spoons left to write, no matter how desperately I want to. So it just... won't happen. Do I wish I could power through it? Absolutely. Can I? No. That's not how my brain works.
HYPERFIXATION:
Hyperfixation is a little different. Hyperfixation means that something new and shiny has my brain's attention, and I can't just pull my brain away from it. It could be making icons, it could be finishing up my blog pages, it could be one or two particular muses or a particular fandom that's taken over another fandom, etc. I do my best to reign in my hyperfocus by not rapidly adding or removing muses (believe me, I probably had 30 muses that I was like "I would LIKE to write this muse" and ended up cutting it back to muses I knew I would be likely to stick with, or that had the most urge in my brain) but sometimes, that's just how it be. This is actually the reason my blog is so focused on Mass Effect/on my Mass Effect muses: Mass Effect has been a hyperfixation for me for the last couple years.
WORKING MEMORY:
Working memory is by far the worst. This is why I ask for certain accommodations such as my interest tracker. My interest tracker isn't just a one-and-done thing on my end with the spreadsheet; I take the time to carefully and meticulously organize the responses in a way that I can interpret. I have tabs for each verse, columns per-muse, and I pull that information from the initial fill-out on my mutuals' end over to secondary sheets that I can more easily reference. I have a tab that ties mun names and pronouns to blog names, as well as the muse(s) they write that I either have interacted with or am likely to interact with.
The reason this accommodation is needed is because the layout of everyone's blogs, rules, muse page, etc is DIFFERENT from blog to blog. What might be at the top of someone's rules page is only in another's pinned post, or in another's about page, or is at the bottom of it, is in their blog description... you get the idea. This means that if I'm looking for a particular piece of information, I may have to check six places, per blog, to find it. Not being able to find it, or not knowing where it might be, or simply not remembering it leads to me feeling incredibly frustrated, which leads into feeling demotivated and other crappy feelings.
That's also especially difficult for someone like me who switches devices, as I often write from my iPad and not always from my desktop. Having my tracker compiles that information in a method that I can comprehend and understand with my disability, helps me keep track of things, and helps keep me on top of things. It is essential to my functionality running my blog. Period.
Now---I'm flexible when it comes to what's actually in the interest tracker. I don't treat it as you're locked in to only the characters you pick in the tracker (and it's set up that you can update it on your end at any time, and it notifies me if it's updated) and can't pick any more after that. Not at all! That's where communication comes in. If there's a new muse you want to interact with that I added, or you watched a new piece of media that I already had on my blog and you want those muses, you can either ask me directly, or update the tracker. It's cool.
But the fact of the matter is, I do need it filled out for my functionality, and it is incredibly frustrating that five minutes, at most, of someone's time is too much for an accommodation. What is a minor inconvenience or discomfort for one person greatly affects my functionality in ways I can't fully explain (and that honestly, I shouldn't have to explain) and the fact that some people can't make that one small step just grinds my gears to no end.
MY SHITTY EYESIGHT:
This isn't one I talk about too often, because I'm in the process of working with it (and it has been improving over the last 6 months), but: the reason I ask for certain text aesthetics to be tagged is, in simple terms, because my eyes suck.
The more complex answer is I have what is known as eye misalignment/strabismus/crossed eyes. My eyes don't quite line up properly (they're not visibly crossed, so it's nothing crazy like that), but because of this, my eyes do not focus properly the way they should. It's intermittent, which means that it's not happening all the time, and it's to a degree that's not physically noticeable without special testing (which I've had done).
What this essentially means is that when I'm doing anything---watching TV, on the computer, on my phone, etc---the muscles around my eyes will flex repeatedly in order to maintain focus. We're talking as often as every five to ten seconds throughout the day when I'm trying to read on the computer. Given the fact that my job does require me to be on the computer during the day, it's not something I can just avoid. In most cases, my brain will try to avoid flexing those muscles by filling in the gaps (similarly to how the blind spot in the eye works), which reduces the strain. It causes headaches and neck stiffness, something which I've had chronically for months now. It also means that my eyesight worsens drastically; over the last 2 years, I've gone from about a -2.75 to a -4.25 prescription. THAT'S A LOT.
But what does this mean for multi-spaced aesthetics? Because the spacing is unnatural, my brain can't fill in the gaps, and has to flex to focus. This means that when exposed to text in this manner, the response in my eyes is almost immediate; if I were to spend two to three minutes reading an entire post, I'd have a headache for the rest of the day. That's debilitating. That's why I ask it to be tagged. That's why it's INTEGRAL that it's tagged for me.
#answered ✧ ❝ to respond is positive; to react is negative. ❞#dutyworn#this got really long but I do think it's a really important point to bring up#because i've had people make comments about it being required feeling “icky” and i'm like.#yeah. it's because i'm asking you. to make accommodations. for me. as a person with a disability. that's why.#and let's be real: most of society doesn't want to make accommodations for that kind of thing and it aggravates me#like. it's not about you having to fill it out 100% perfectly and know exactly what you want when you fill it out. at least not for me.#it's about giving me an idea and giving me something to work with#and there's quite a few of my mutuals who could probably confirm that when they've thrown plot ideas in there#i've actually read through it & reached out & plotted with them about it!#& i also get the issue of feeling like people don't check them. 100%. I do. but for mine? i get an email every time it's filled out#so I see it/read it/check it/update and organize it on my end/etc
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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:
With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.
I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.
My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.
And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.
If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.
If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.
If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.
Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#long post#this isn't a guilt trip of any sort (it doesn't even feel right calling it a vent tbh) I'm just being earnest in my point here#I'm tired of constantly pulling teeth (and this is an issue for both old and new mutuals rather than one over the other)#it just....doesn't feel good. there shouldn't be this much of a struggle for *any* of us#and are we all going to end up on the same level as what I have with Blair? No absolutely not and that's not what I'm asking for#the difference between them and you all is the lack of struggle and just...the earnestness to put it mildly#I'm honestly tired of people trying to give me shit for writing w/ them so much because??? why wouldn't I???#getting mad because I'm having a blast with someone who wants to write with me and actually does/tells me? that's nothing to be jealous of!#in fact you should strive for it yourself!! you could have it all too if you just crawled out of your own hole and thought for a second#I am incredibly fucking lucky and blessed to write with Blair; they've greatly influenced me both as a person and as a writer;#and every day I return that kindness and attention with more (hopefully) great content regardless of what or who we're writing#because they do the exact same thing for me every single day and that should be celebrated#stop wasting time trying to pit people against each other or feeling left out and actually step in yourself#I've said this before and I'll say it again: the main thing holding you back from interacting with me is you#so think about it and just...get over whatever is telling you that you can't and just do the fuckin thing. come have fun
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Okay I've been posting about Summon Night Swordcraft Story 2 a lot the past few days and I do recommend it a lot even if the game is highly questionable at times.
Its one of the best games in the GBA. That said, its one of those games where you might need a walkthrough if you want to 100% everything, since the main game takes the span of ten days.
That being said, I know it might not be for everyone, so I've compiled a list of its gameplay elements, the things I liked about it, as well as some stuff that might irk other people out from trying it.
Basic plot summary; you are a craftknight's apprentice, someone who makes weapons such as swords, axes, spears, knuckles, and drills. You're also specifically the last remaining descendant of the Coltheart clan, a clan of summoners, people who summon creatures from other worlds (machine world Loreilal, Yokai world Silturn, spirit world Sapureth, beast world Maetropa)- these creatures are called as summon creatures.
Plot spoiler happens, and you basically have to seal a certain evil away from rampaging and destroying your village. At the very start, you encounter a stray summon creature- what you answer during this part will result in a different guardian beast to partner with you.
Some gameplay stuff;
The partner you chose at the start of the game cannot be changed. They have different skillsets and priorities from each other; the fire oni Loki focuses on attack and using flames, while the wind beast Arno focuses on agility and utilizing the wind. They all have the ability to enchant your weapon with the others' elements, but they can't learn each other's special moves.
The partner at the start also has different interactions with the player and the world around them; machine guardian beast Ex-e-LD is factual and logical, angel-devil guardian beast Dinah is abrasive and sarcastic, oni guardian beast Loki is hotheaded and reckless, and half-beast Arno is airheaded and peculiar.
Despite the title (and the first game being more centered around swords), you can choose to opt for other weapons. You start with a sword, and only two story elements require a sword; otherwise, you can shift to using the other four weapons in the game.
Weapons are highly customizeable; besides their appearance, you can alter their attacks and passive skills utilizing different ingredients.
The game is an RPG, with its overworld being similar to the likes of Pokemon, but the battle system isn't time based- its real-time combat. Additionally, there are random encounters outside the town and forts.
The world is small; there's no other civilizations explored outside your own town. There's a large forest, the caves, and the four forts it holds, plus some four areas you can instantly transport to, and the final dungeon. The four areas and the dungeon get bonus floors post-game, but that's about it.
Besides weapons, you can create accessories (not reflected on the character, sorry) for stat boosts, medicines, and other items, like a diary that lets you save anywhere, and an amulet that helps you repel encounters.
A fishing minigame is there so you can buy additional shapestones for weapons, as well as buy ingredients you could normally only obtain through story-bosses.
Sidequests that span over the course of ten days; there's quite a few, but the main ones I recall are talking to the merchant and his friends daily for rare ingredients, finding a lady's lost cat, and finding a child's missing items. There's also an NPC that trades you rare ingredients for medals you can find in the overworld.
After the end of every day, you get to spend time with one NPC; your guardian beast, or any of the characters you've met so far. Who you spend time with the most determines the ending you get.
Things I liked;
Fun gameplay! I liked exploring the world, gathering ingredients, and crafting all sorts of weapons. When the gameplay gets shaken up a bit, its also a fun time.
A lot of dialogue is honestly very fun, particularly between the player and their guardian beast; though a lot of characters' interactions with them are also nice.
Unlike the first game, areas can be revisited, and ingredients and materials can be gathered at any time, instead of being permanently missable content if you happen to break your weapon or misuse an item.
Depending on the guardian beast you pick and the weapon you choose to specialize with, the game either becomes very easy or difficult, so each run is at least a little different.
The main characters aren't silent, so they get to interact a lot with the cast. Additionally, Aera and Edgar (canon names of the MCs) are vastly different in terms of personality and interactions with their respective beasts, their family, and their friends, so they don't feel like the same character.
A lot of the things in game are actually progressive and handled decently; Arno is nonbinary (not explicitly stated, and though Arno uses he/him pronouns, he's not a boy or a girl- something he says himself), and Aera and Edgar's interactions with certain characters don't change even if they can be perceived in a romantic context.
There's no direct romance in the game regarding your character, so you can just.. imagine if its romantic, platonic, familial, etc. Qpr rep in my head. <3
Things to look out for;
Even though I just praised it, the game's handling of Aera's interactions with women (particularly the childhood friend's sister, Lynn) are.. less than stellar. Its the whole "but we're both girls" thing in some cases, but in other cases, its completely fine??? I haven't played as Edgar yet, so I'm not entirely sure if its the same case with his scenes with men..
A lot of very sexualized characters, dialogues, and scenes. Dinah in particular (her opening scene is her in a compromising pose) if you pick her as a guardian beast. Nina too, but she doesn't really get sexualized; she's just naked due to being a ghost, but is surrounded by bubbles. Lots and lots of suggestive scenes/dialogues spoken by Lynn to the player are. Yeah.
Unskippable fish plot which includes the last part. Without spoilers, some fish summon creature wants to be seduced. You can thankfully choose to refuse (though your guardian beast, regardless of who it is, tries it out for your honor). Again, sexualization of Lynn in particular in this scene.
Strange dialogue?? Not sure if its because of the localization, but there are strange.. dialogue choices. Or things said by the npcs. Just things that are so out of pocket and strange.
Depending on how you take it; the endings. Though the endings are not explicitly romantic, they end like a dating sim visual novel where the character you spent most time with is given a bust-shot of them smiling at the player. This includes the player's siblings, Orin and Tatiana.
Not really a big deal, but the beginning part of the game (before you get your guardian beast) just has rushed exposition and pacing and it seems jarring at first, trying to fit in the player's relationship with Ryoga, the childhood friend, how they were taken in by their master Blaire after their father's death, what your job entails, etc.
#Summon Night Swordcraft Story#((Might as well make this post if any of my mutuals want to try this game out since-))#((-while I do love it for being a fun experience and an underrated game. It has its own issues.))#((HONESTLY Dinah's opening scene is what kept me from picking her in the first place like. She's more sexualized than-))#((-the previous angel guardian beast and. Why do they keep doing this to the Sapureth summon creatures.))#((That being said. Arno and EX-e-LD sweep. They're very fun partners.))#((Pro tip <- not a pro - that thorn you get from the first boss is one of the best items in the game.))#((Stunlocking your opponents WILL deal with a lot of threats!))#((Also spears and axes. I reccomend them. Its hard to master both if you're new but it's worth it.))#((Swords are the main thing but they're the most delicate weapons I think.))#((Knuckles have low power but strike a lot. They're very good for disrupting opponents that rely on combos.))#((Drill is Bad but is amazing at breaking weapons.))#((Which is a possible win condition for opponents WITH weapons.))#((Spear can hit multiple enemies + especially useful with airborne enemies))#((Axe has raw strength and is good with enemies that are on the ground.))#((To negate the axe's agility cut just use two beast crests as an upgrade- it'll weigh like a sword.))
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i just burst into tears reading a totally normal post of one of my moots having a good time with their friends and literally Just Living Life because i want to have that so badly. i am so fucking unfulfilled, alone, miserable... and it feels even worse because im doing it to myself
#i hate how whiny this is . my god. i know its not that serious and the post isnt the issue at all... its me. i get this ache in my chest#when i see people thriving socially#like im locked in a cage and all ive been able to do is watch everyone live their lives#having friends and family and spending happy time with them#i just watch and wish i could ever have that. my only friend group all secretly talked bad about me for years#and ghosting them hurts so badly not bc i want to be close to them but because no i have No One#which is somehow worse than being the butt end of every joke and being shamed all the time.. well it feels like it#and itd be as easy as making friends but i cant even fucking reply to my mutuals tweets or posts without panicking#whenevr i stick my arm out it gets bitten#so im living a life of nothing. completely void and lonely and horrible. because i can't. i cant. i cant#i love avoidant personality disorder!#i just wish i could ask everyone why they hate me and have an actual answer
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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