#i went to the fair today
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My first 15 hours in Death Stranding
#conscydraws#death stranding#sam porter bridges#illustration#artists on tumblr#video games#meme#when i went out today the weather was pretty much like that. worse even.#i came back in 10 minutes fully soaked#thought how nice it would be to have clothes alike Sam's#it's also fair to say that i'm slowly moving towards a personal artstyle#been playing with lasso and airbrush and found out that it's much more effective and quicker than anything i did prior#which means i will be able to make moar art! :))))#about the illustration. i was keeping one particular location in mind from the first part of the map. there i died several times#although i depicted the stones not so accurately can you guess where it is? 😁#i still haven't finished the game btw#death stranding fanart
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🐺🌸
#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ffvii#ff7#aerith gainsborough#zack fair#zerith#i ended up not liking how this one came out in the end but ah well. frisbees it into the void#my art#<- i am moonlight elegy on twt#it'll post to twitter later today#this puppy and this florist have so much love in their hearts to give . i cry over them#consider this pic to be my wishlist for a scene in remake pt 3#based on that one pic going around twitter but entierly coincidentally bc i sketched this before that tweet went big LMAO
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also can I just say. the difference between the joy of fit and bagi having a full day with blue, getting acquainted with the base, reuniting with their loved ones, all relieved to have more materials and more of a team - and then the absolute misery of etoiles and roier, moving the few valuable possessions red has to a new base that got immediately discovered anyway, losing all their gear, getting it back, then burning it themselves before killing eachother, is just so fucking funny. the new blues had freshman orientation while the new reds had a trial by fire canon event
#fit and pac had their flirting and Tubbo rolling his eyes and bad getting a flower from forever and bagi being like omg this base is awesome#meanwhile etoiles and roier get the bolas experience - bbh somehow always there killing you losing your gear starting over killing yourself#baghera said it first thing - oh today is a bolas day. today is a eat the potato day. and they didn’t understand at first. now they do#blue had their own fair share of worries and set backs but let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. even in their perspective#red was SUFFERING. real bolas moment#it’s so funny. welcome to the team! take your shoes off at the door make sure you leave if you’ve got a bounty#vs welcome to the team! take this gas mask and pick a god to pray to. misery loves company at least we’re together!group suicide in an hour#like blue viewers. they were not lying when they were talking about their gear. full enchants? mending??????? lmao#the best stuff they god was from bad’s corpse. Roier and etoiles came with what they had from green. now that’s all gone too#when bad went through their shit like ‘aw they moved already :(‘ no they didn’t. I promise you they didn’t. and all you missed were some#stashed away diamonds and baghera’s crazy amount of chainsaws#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
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it crismiss
mer critmiss
[id: Second Breakfast, the yellow and white ball python, with a Santa hat on, being cuddled by Star]
#Second Breakfast#the noodles#reptiblr#snake#ball python#holidays#Christmas#yes I used a picture I’d used before but I went to get pictures of her today and she hissed so :(#mean old lady hours#to be fair she’d tipped her bowl of water everywhere and was soggy and pissed
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reading books makes you at least like 50% more attractive
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“The Fair”
for @silliestgoosever
(fluff!)
—————————————————————————
The minute the clock turned six, Sam was up and at it.
It had been a rough couple of months recovering from the New York bloodbath, and after working seven doubles in a row, she had enough money to surprise the kids. Today, they were going to the state fair.
None of them had ever been, and Sam knows how much Tara wanted to go. So once she had the four tickets secured, she had trouble keeping it secret.
Luckily, the kids were absolutely thrilled with the surprise, and they all promised to be up and ready at six a.m. sharp.
That didn’t happen.
Gently waking up her sleeping sister with a kiss on the head, Sam shuffled toward the living room where the twins were staying. To her surprise, Chad was already getting ready in the bathroom while Mindy was still sleeping in a ball on the couch.
She reached out, shaking the girl a little bit. After a few attempts, Mindy finally rose, clearly annoyed and still half-asleep.
“You’re not my mother,” Mindy grumbled, rubbing her eyes.
Before Sam could retort, she was cut off by a voice in the bathroom.
“Well, she’s mine! Get up, Mindy. I want to eat seventeen corn dogs before noon!” Chad called, the shower turning on.
Smirking, Sam turned back to the grouchy girl on the couch.
“You heard him. Get up, Film Updates,”.
“Fuck you, Sam.”
Sam didn’t care. She skipped back to the sister’s bedroom to ensure Tara hadn’t fallen back asleep. They were going to the fair today.
It was going to be fun.
—
Checking her purse, Sam counted everything that she needed. Sunscreen, bandaids, cash, her wallet, hair ties- check. She surveyed the kids, making sure they were all properly dressed.
Tara wore overalls matching Sam, while Mindy wore a hoodie and shorts, her head propped up by Tara’s shoulder. Sam grinned at the two of them, ignoring Mindy’s middle finger, instead focusing on the beaming smile on her sister’s face.
And that’s when Chad walked in. Sam’s smile slipped away, a frown of annoyance replacing it.
“Chad! No slides or crocs! You’ll get dirty and get mad when you have sandy feet. Plus, you’ll probably step in horse shit,” she scolded, reaching down to toss a pair of gym shoes at the boy.
Chad, dressed in athletic shorts and a cut-off t-shirt, completed his outfit with white Crocs, far from a fashion statement.
He caught the shoes, dumping them onto the ground. “Nah, I’ll be good.”
Sam rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, herding the kids out.
“Whatever you say,” she muttered, locking the door behind her.
—-
“Why do we have to do this? We’re twenty-one years old. Come on, Sam,” Mindy whined.
The three kids were turned around, only their backpacks facing Sam. Immediately upon entering the fair, Sam had purchased three giant balloons. She wouldn’t lose any of them today, not on her watch.
Ignoring Mindy, Sam continued, “Okay, everybody hold still.”
Tara turned around, her brow furrowed. “Can I have the purple one?” she asked, giving Sam her best puppy eyes.
Sam rolled her eyes but tied the purple one on Tara’s backpack. Noticing the other two colors, Mindy turned around as well.
“Wait, if we’re calling dibs, I want the orange one,” she said.
Smiling, Sam tied the orange onto Mindy’s backpack and the blue one onto Chad’s. As the kids talked with one another and took pictures, Sam bent down to tie her shoe.
As she did, she noticed people staring at the group, snickering and laughing. Sam got up, prepared to defend them-
-until Mindy beat her to the chase.
“Nothing to see here, assholes. Keep walking!” the girl snapped, flipping off a few teenagers.
Afterward, Mindy refused to meet Sam’s smug smirk, instead tugging Tara to join her in getting some food.
—
“I stepped in horse shit.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, I did.”
“God damn it, Chad. Come on, let’s go to the bazaar.”
—-
After about two hours, the group managed to find themselves in the infirmary. Not because they were attacked but because Chad had a weak stomach.
Shifting her place on the bed, Sam turned to Tara, glaring at her baby sister a little.
Tara grinned bashfully, looking a bit sheepish. “Okay, how was I supposed to know that Chad faints at the sight of sheep giving birth?”
Rolling her eyes, Sam pointed towards the door.
“Tara, go get a lemonade with Mindy and-”
“Don’t take the balloon off, we know,” the two said in unison, laughing as they walked out.
Sighing, Sam turned back to the embarrassed boy with an ice pack on his head. He grinned sheepishly at her, breaking down Sam’s angry resolve.
“Can we get cream puffs after this?” he asked, jutting out his bottom lip to pout.
She rolled her eyes, patting the boy on the shoulder.
“Sure, Chad. We can get cream puffs.”
—-
While Sam checked Chad out of the infirmary, the two girls stood at the lemonade stand. Tara held onto two ice-cold drinks for her and Sam while Mindy gnawed on a fried cheese on a stick.
Tara wrinkled her nose in disgust. “You hate cheese.”
“Yeah, but it’s cheese on a stick. It doesn’t count if it’s fried and on a stick,” Mindy mumbled, taking another bite.
“You’re lactose intolerant, though,” Tara pointed out, shrinking from the death glare she received back.
“I’m about to become Tara-intolerant if you don’t shut up.”
“Girls,” chided Sam, dragging a cream puff-eating Chad behind her.
“Sorry, Sam,” the two chorused.
—
“Chad, put down the baseball bat. This is a children’s play area.”
The boy waved them off, getting ready to hit.
“I don’t care. That brat bet that I couldn’t hit ten home runs. I’m going to show him,” he said, his tongue sticking out in determination.
Mindy turned to Tara, eyes sparkling with mirth. “Should we yank him out or let security boot him?”
Tara shrugged back. “I kind of want to see if he can do it.”
“Yeah, me too.”
He did not do it.
—
Sam thought she would lose her head by hour six, but the kids kept her going. They were in the Midway, playing rigged Carnie games. She was mourning the hole in her wallet they were creating, but it was worth it to see Tara laugh like a little kid again.
They were at the milk bottle booth, trying to knock down as many bottles as possible with a baseball. Mindy couldn’t hit anything, and Sam refused to waste money on a fruitless game.
But that didn’t stop Chad and Tara.
“Watch me hit these bottles with ease,” Chad said, winding up.
“Oh yeah? Go ahead, Babe Ruth,” Mindy called, crossing her arms.
The boy wound up and threw it as hard as he could- only to hit nothing but the background
A miss didn’t deter him. “Okay, watch me hit them now.”
He tried five more times and missed each one. Mindy had to be held up by Sam as she was laughing too hard to breathe. Tara laughed behind her hand, still cheering him on.
Shaking his head, he tossed the rest of his baseballs to Tara. “This game is rigged,” he muttered.
Mindy pulled him for a hug, while Sam just swatted him on the shoulder for being too cheeky.
“Show him how it’s done, Tara!” she cheered, watching her sister approach the booth.
Winding up, Tara threw it as hard as she could. To everybody’s shock, including herself, Tara knocked down all five pins.
Jumping up and down, Tara shrieked in joy. “I did it! Hole in one!”
Sam wrapped her up in a hug, kissing her on the side of the head. Mindy snagged the giant purple teddy bear that Tara won while Chad fumed next to her.
“That’s not how it works,” Chad snarked, arms crossed with annoyance.
“Don’t care! I won!”
—
“Do you think I can spit on someone from up here?”
“Chad, for the last time, sit down and shut up,” Sam griped, turning around to face the twins.
He stuck his tongue out in return. “You suck, Sam.”
“I know. Eat your cotton candy.”
Turning back to her baby sister, Sam nudged her. The kids were on the Ferris wheel, the twins in the car behind them, Tara and Sam in the front. She knows Tara wasn’t the biggest fan of heights, but she seemed okay thus far.
“You okay, my love?” she whispered, kissing Tara on the head.
Tara hummed in response, curling into Sam’s side. “I’m perfect. What a great day! Thank you, Sammy,” she whispered back.
“Always, Tara. Always.”
#scream#sam carpenter#tara carpenter#carpenter sisters#ao3 author#my writing tag#i went to the fair today.. so yeah#tooth rotting fluff and no angst#chad can’t aim for shit but tara can#corn dogs !#the core four!
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took a mock ielts test today
#bakuspeech#honestly can not estimate how well I did with written competencies at All they could give me a goose egg and I'd be like. harsh but fair#but the speaking test was SO funny. bc I had to sit there and pretend like I didn't learn english from using tumblr for a decade#and. well. from writing anime fics. and [redacted] fics#so yeah yesterday and today's been dedicated to lunar new year stuff and mock test prep#as in. trying to remember the things I needed to bring to the exam room. which I did forget at home btw. good thing I went two hours#earlier than I shouldve#taking one single formalized aptitude test like ah yeah . this is why I'm not in school no more#twelve years of french to beat language aptitude testing into my very bones and five years out its all already a big open beautiful void#how did I manage that C1. they were 100% taking pity on me#anyways. I think Im good to sleep now. just figured a thing out excited to see it take shape properly#alright have a good night lads. enjoy uhhh words I guess. nice shoelaces u got there
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what people expect when you sign up for an LIS degree: haha quirky book nerds, so fun, I remember toddler storytime at the library are you gonna read to children
what they actually get when you sign up for an LIS degree: smashing Alexa isn't enough anymore I need to learn how to run my own internet and also build a house on a totally closed circuit system.
#this isn't totally fair. you also become even MORE of a curmudgeon about attribution and misinformation than you were before!#anyway everyday I realize i am becoming even more of a nightmare of a person#as if my media degree wasn't bad enough#I did have to think today about how my courses in undergrad went like#digital privacy and surveillance > social networks as used in the arab spring > culture of money > political campaign communications#now here i am doing in depth coursework on metadata and info behavior#DISASTROUS. no one should talk to me. absolutely nightmarish.#megs vs mlis#this is mostly a joke but it is so funny to read about metadata nearly a decade after that digital surveillance/privacy course and. oof.#okay I'm going back to my readings even though the memes are more fun
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x
#i can't believe how much distress my last job put me in#like I went today to get some paper at the HR and I had flashbacks of the mental distress and passive aggressiveness of the environment#like my heart was beating do fast and shaking from the possibility of meeting someone accidentally#specially a manager#Like I had my fair share of shitty mental draining jobs but this one took the trophy so far
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lesson of today is large servers inevitably run themselves into the ground
#i dont blame anybody involved in the drama today i think everybodys got a fair point for the most part#but this kinda stuff just. has never happened in a small server to me#we held a press conference it went well but still this is so wack
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I've been feeling really burned out and unmotivated. I think it's the mid semester blues.
I hate feeling this way, it fuels my anxiety of not being productive, making me more unfocused and causing me to achieve even less.
And then I skip class and feel guilty over skipping class, then I feel like a failure and just want to quit everything. Then I think dear god this is my second degree, if I quit what will I do? Then I think what if I can't finish in the designated 3 years and need another year?
Then I go to a job fair and this very nice engineer tells me they recruit almost exclusively people with master's degrees. And I think dear god if I need a master's degree I'll be 26/27 when I finish this path. Then I think but time will pass anyway, isn't it better to pursue something that will give you a better chance in the future? But do I even want a master's? Do I have it in me to start
Idk these past few days have just been hard
And then I isolate myself and just wallow in these thoughts with no one else to bounce them off of and it just
Argh mid semester blues
#idk guys#going through it i guess#just been feeling like a failure these past days#but i went to the job fair#and i studied a bit for AD#and it was better than yesterday#tomorrow will be better than today#and if i need another year it'll take another year#and if i decide on a master's#I'll get a masters#life#uni#academia
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not get littol man :(
#shelter got back to me: they'd mislabeled his profile#and want to prioritize getting him a home with multiple pets#which. fair. i'm glad they're not going to force him somewhere he might not be happy and i'm not planning on getting another cat soon#but i'm disappointed#applied for another cat who'd do better as an only pet#so it's not like i'll NEVER have a cat#but probs not today#and not this particular silly guy#me; shaking the bars of my enclosure: want pet!!!#i have all the basics in my spare bath and a handful of toys already#it IS deranged how immediately the ocd took this and went#''this is a sign. you don't deserve a pet. you don't NEED a pet. you should be donating that money.''#''clearly you're not in a position to care for another living thing''#''how dare you want a companion animal when the world is suffering''#so uh. cool? luv that for me.
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I genuinely hope that you're having a good day and that your week is peaceful and productive
thanks! the whole damn week was eventful i got. a lot going on some ok some exhausting but its fine. im always a fan of productivity lets all hope i get a job soon
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One does not simply lie by the lake; how could I? How could I let my eyes wander over her smooth surface, see the way the light reaches into her, see the way greenery dances within her, see the life, the fish, the mysteries, the silvery bubbles, and not be moved? How could I lie idly when she is calling out to me? Do you not hear her song?
Perhaps you can be satisfied with just the sight of her. Perhaps to sit in the shade and look on as she celebrates existence is enough for you.
Not me, though.
I see her depths and all I feel is restlessness. I know the feeling, know that it is like an itch and I will only be at peace once I give in. I see her depths and all I want is to dance with her.
She knows it, too. I do give in, I always do, wading into the water; I feel hands closing around my wrists. I feel fingers grazing my hips. Elodea brushes my feet gently at first, before clinging on to them tightly and pulling. Forcefully I am pulled down. The water closes above me, soothing the summer's heat, shooing it away from my shoulders.
No lover might ever draw me in like she does. No man's beckoning might ever be as strong. No one loves like her. Irresistibly.
I will always jump into you. You have never scared me.
#when my friends ask what i did today i send them this#and then they say I could have just told them i went for a swim in the lake#i mean fair point#but she deserves a love poem <3#lake#summer#swimming#mystery#poetry#peom#love poem#literature#my poetry#personal i guess#summer vibes#deep waters
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i am here. to tell you. that having an entire funnel cake for breakfast. all by yourself. is not an action without consequences. even if you are gods specialest little boy.
#pain.#went to the state fair today to see if i placed in the photography contest. i didnt#i forgot my phone in the car also so i spent most of the day offline. pretty nice tbh
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The world got to me and i forgot that life is supposed to be lived
#dec 2023#tbh i just wanna lay in bed and cry#it doesnt help that i caught a cold#today i met a girl i went to school with . she recognised me immediately. i didn’t. she remembered my name. i couldnt remember hers.#to be fair i havent seen her in 8 years give or take#it was still embarrassing#its nice to know that shes doing well in life tho#i wanna do a progress update so bad but it feels like im stuck#i know its all in my head#im just too sad right now#i miss summer
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