#i was so in denial that i was into bsd because it was so insane and unreal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ashenburst · 1 year

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bsd era is back woo woo!!! I wuz curious how gogol and fyodor are when they fall in love. Like, how do they act when they start to catch feelingss. Answer whenever you can! You’re so amazinggg!!!

Hello dearie, thank you for the request <3 and I'm so sorry for taking a whole month! Anyway, if I understood well, this was meant as something general, some x reader thing, not a Fyogol thing. If it is Fyogol, however, do correct me, I'd be willing to write that too! Now onto the work!

This is how the headcanons will go: first, the cuter parts, then, the more somber parts which will be marked. Good? Good.

Fyodor

Fyodor is in love? He is both amused and intrigued. I believe these are some of the few states that move this rat to act more human than godlike (or the contrary? heh). This is why he’ll definitely do something about his feelings, unless they interfere with pre-existing plans, of course. Can’t have pesky feelings in the way! He assures himself, those will pass, they always do. But goddamn, it is difficult to ignore them. So, during the stage of denial or repression, he might find himself a far greater artist than before. No longer a consumer, but the creator. This vehement inspiration in such a mind could hardly be contained in artistic outlets. He’d realize he’d need to tamper with his muse. And so it begins!

The master manipulator should understand how to win over any heart. Yes, and he’d win over your heart but only if his verity is intact. This is pure love, done for the sake of love. It must be Christianly true. Therefore, he would not manipulate, he’d be himself. Cruelly sharp at times. Other times, innocent and gentle. It’s intriguing, really, the contradictory mien of a great mind in a weary body. How strangely the brain controlled it… one could easily say he had inhuman eyes because of all the world he saw and revealed to you. But no. It was all the same world, now merely embellished by his mind. And if your intellect bounced off of it right, well… Fyodor will be getting butterflies.

Around the person he loves, he exudes a calming energy, even appearing frail at times. That’s the lowered guard you see, and that bears potential for messing around. His sense of humor, wit, charm, they flourish, especially if your reactions are approving. Spontaneity increases and you learn to distinguish gentle genuine smiles from sadistic and scheming. But not only this. With the stripping of his mask, the ugly is revealed too. Fyodor can be moody, but luckily for you, when he is, it’s very obvious. If you know to avoid pestering him during those periods, things should go well. He wouldn’t tolerate much anyway. The fact he even fell in love with you in the first place meant you were nigh perfect in his eyes, only imperfect in some endurable amounts.

This leads me to another factor: Fyodor would likely want a self-sufficient, practical partner. Or at least come to this realization at some point. Yes, he is gentlemanly and he would love to help you, but he will not be putting up with useless, incompetent, and so, in his eyes, unreasonable people. He’s dealt with enough of those. He’d come to you to rest from them, even. From them and everything else, truly. You are his safe place. You are his home and his sanctity and he wouldn’t let anyone tarnish it.

Enough of the nice stuff. Next are the darker implications, the somber section.

If protecting you means going insane lengths, he would. He would actively do things without your knowing or consent. On a daily basis, he might record you through secret cameras or stalk you. Maybe you wake up in some random village in the outskirts of Siberia because he thought it would be safest to move you there. Are you at peace with this? He doesn’t care. He knows better and you should understand that (his words, not mine lol).

Indeed, for minds of his caliber, it is easy to lose track of reality and build another one in his thoughts. While he would never admit to it, and it certainly isn’t the craziest version of it, Fyodor might become delusional. Thoughts upon thoughts are like Mathematics – one can express anything in any order, in any tautology, even prove the impossible. Without an external factor to verify or comprehend it (without his thoughts interacting with reality), these easily complex equations and expressions would easily lose sense. Rationalizations galore. Once this point was reached, good luck escaping Fyodor. The only person who can change his mind is his own mind. Not even the heart. Only mind.

If you think Fyodor’s delusion is scary, check out that of this clown’s.

Nikolai

An adorable bundle of joy. Simply perfect – understanding, enjoyable, over the top happy, childlike but in the best manner possible. I imagine it’s easy to assume this, but let me expand that notion. The cheerful, supportive boyfriend who will follow you around like a dog, a golden retriever, to be specific; the sort to always have something to say, to always be able to ramble about whatever you bring up. He is truly inexhaustible! But not to insane extents, of course. He will also have his catlike moments, curling up next to you or on you at random times. Random, he really is random; expect tiny gifts and surprises throughout your relationship. His creativity is unparalleled when it comes to those.

That’s how he’ll most likely conquer your heart. With sweetness, tiny gifts, utmost loyalty. That sheepish, most adorable behavior of his. It can melt even the coldest of hearts. Oh, he is so much better at this than Fyodor.

Speaking of, there is a sort of a domestic energy to Nikolai that might be more apparent than with Fyodor, but it isn’t as easy to maintain. Nikolai might be one wonderful partner, but he is just a human, too. Cracks appear.

You will catch glimpses of melancholy in his demeanor, but if you ever point it out, he’d disagree. He hides any bad feelings. Yes, Fyodor might not outright state his troubles but he will at least be visibly moody and at least give some verbal indication when spoken to. Nikolai would never, ever do that. He would change the topic, he would pat your head, he would tap your nose… and he will gaslight you that everything is fine if you keep pushing it. That’s a bit disheartening. Yes.

But, I believe you can deal with this by not being too pushy and simply reminding him you are there for him. I don’t think the poor baby has had anything stable in his life before you. In fact, with how he is towards Fyodor, he certainly has sabotaging tendencies, and I believe they come from 1. a chaotic growing up with no stability 2. a lack of sense of control 3. emotional negligence 4. aaand the idea that he’ll compensate for it all, gain control over both actions and emotions, by recreating and monitoring the environment he is so used to. For the love of God, don’t you become Nikolai’s therapist. It’s impossible and could ruin the relationship (or even yourself; you don’t know what you could be triggering). Just keep the good vibes going, eh?

As for the dark version…

Let us begin with Nikolai’s desire to murder Fyodor and so liberate himself (in loose terms). It is highly likely that Nikolai develops a similar ideation with the object of his affection. You could be reduced to a prop in his imagination. A symbol generating a symbol when destroyed. In reality, you’d be another one of his failed attempts at overcoming himself. Even if he fully believes your death/mutilation/torture has fixed him, in actuality, it did not. The warmth he feels is that of your blood and your breaths and your tears, and the warmth is the orgasmic moment of bloodlust, and all of this… it’s just a traumatized butcher’s delusion. Then, the drop in adrenaline and the rise of coolness, the red pool growing in silence, as do his lungs, suddenly fuller than before, him fuller than before… now, all of this, it is just an addict’s calm after the storm. Everything too fresh. Whereas previous vigor was that of heat, now was that of cold, and as soon as it abandons him, well... in that boredom… maybe he will discover yet another pair of wings on his back to unchain. The self-serving self-ruining angel.

Do you know of this urge to squash anything cute? Nikolai would actually do that, but in the literal sense. Also, I see a huge yandere potential. The sort to lock you up and treat you like an object or a game, with just enough interactivity to make you think he can be reasoned with. Make no mistake – it’s impossible. He does this for his own sake, with immense cunning and resources. In fact, he will toy with you if you try outsmarting him, give you hope and then crush it.

After all, keep in mind that he knows Dostoyevsky well, and he still went against him. That is the kind of man you’d be dealing with. I wish you my deepest condolences.

#nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd x reader #bsd fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor dostoyevsky #fyodor dostoyesky #bsd fanfic #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs x reader #nigolai gogol x reader #ask #request #anon #anonymous

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enby-mori · 8 months

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Totally totally get it if you can’t find it but do you know the passage where it implies this bc that is literally so insane of Asagiri to include that?!

I looked and there isn't a passage of it. it only talks about how they were trained from an early age in a government facility.

I must have picked that up from when Fukuzawa and Odasaku talked, where he compares his life as an assassin to Odasaku's where he comments that,

I know at some point Fukuzawa talks about how he went from the government facility to assassination, which we know he did because someone "convinced" him it was for justice. he's a tiny bit in denial about how he readily accepted the jobs.

not to mention fukuchi's speech before fighting sskk, that fukuzawa and him went their separate ways after the academy ie he went to war.

bsd has a plethora of orphans who are either saved (armed detective agency) or forsaken (port mafia). and I feel that a government facility is where most orphans would be sent if they showed promise (abilities).

untold origins tells us a great deal about how the special division functions and how it was basically impossible to be an ability user without them knowing, it was considered a death sentence.

I think my thought process boils down to what Mori himself said, children can be easily manipulated. and we all know that he really only dealt in orphans.

there's a lot going on between fukuzawa and fukuchi that makes me think they really only had each other from a young age, and how fukuzawa handles ranpo, describing him as being a precious thing that had been sheltered from the world.

another thing was when the ADA was framed and it's revealed it was because a politician or something wanted revenge for fukuzawa assassinating his father. he and fukuzawa appear to be about the same age.

there are only ever orphan assassins in bsd.

#ive been thinking about this for awhile and each new episode slash chapter really adds to this theory #rosalinesurvived #somnus answers

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lowkey-yyy · 2 years

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pls spare some more mha and bsd crossover stuff 🙏🧎

been seeing old fics on ao3 abt dazai and eri and ur post kinda created a snowball abt it 💅

GLADLY ,,,

So like with MHA n BSD crossover I feel like my hc of Dazai hating kids is included here so for them to get Dazai near this random kid from a mission would be a battle and a half,, id say in this au Dazai would be around the kids age and likely at this point on living with Aizawa because he is a goddamn menace (affectionate) and cannot be trusted in the dorms on a daily basis, only visits.

So Aizawa bringing Eri home would be a big change for Dazai also the fact this kid realizes that he is just like her, right out the window Dazai goes, Aizawa is freaking the fuck out and a manhunt begins for Aizawa's mini clone. They have to look everywhere for him as he has gone full run away mode in their eyes and Aizawa doesn't know what triggered this full fight or flight response at seeing a child for 2 seconds.

Turns out he went to Kunikida's dorm and forced the blond to let him stay, they were found snuggling when Kunikida was not down for breakfast (as per his ideals) and they came to check on him, the kids had to call and reassure Aizawa that Dazai was safe and sound just asleep.

In general Aizawa 100% would have his hands full with Dazai thrown in but he is ready for a challenge, this child is insanely smart and talented just horrifically traumatized and mentally ill. Aizawa would have to fight for weeks to convince the kid not to sleep in Kunikida's room and at least try to meet Eri.

It was painfully awkward and both kids had no idea what to do but stand there while Aizawa was praying for a miracle, Dazai would be especially helpful in keeping a handle on Eri's quirk but if he was running from her there would be no chance of it happening. This new arrangement made a few more things known as Dazai was strangely defensive of Aizawa being his adult and his alone, he didn't want to share the teacher with some gross kid! He was a little mean to Eri for a while as the Heroes tried to learn more about Dazai, apparently he was territorial as he refused to let Eri see Kunikida, touch his stuff and would completely ignore her if he felt she was taking too much of Aizawa's attention from him....he also one time kicked her off the couch when she tried to insert herself into Dazai and Aizawa's bonding on the couch as the younger boy soaked up his mentor's reluctant affection...The couch incident as it was dubbed left a scolded Dazai curled up in Kunikida's bed and Aizawa covered in scratches and bandaids the next day...

From then on they had to work on slowly getting the two to a stable living condition and as others took Eri for sleepovers and days out Dazai perked up, he would reluctantly share stuff with her on the rare occasion but he liked Aizawa and didn't want to be replaced as his favourite kid even if he denied seeing Aizawa as a father figure.

Aka Aizawa becomes Dazai's filling for the void Oda left behind so he lashes out at a child to try and protect what he has.

As for the class? They are relentless in teasing Kunikida for Dazai sleeping in his room and the two cuddling, they think its adorable but Kunikida disagrees (he does agree but he is in deep denial) Dazai and Kunikida make an excellent team in the training and classes but the bandaged boy has a knack for trying to off-himself in training and Kunikida has to save him constantly, its also tough to get Dazai to do practically any normal kid things, he just doesn't get it and sometimes feels left out but the others try to include him all the time they can.

Kunikida also notices Dazai's unhealthy behaviours and tries to help when he can, he sneakily tricks Dazai into eating food in the cafeteria, forces him to wash up after gym and when Dazai stays in his room he drags the shorter boy into the sheets to snuggle up so he has to sleep.

Grr i love mha bsd crossover,,, i could think up ideas for days

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play-rough · 11 months

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Can I be insane for a minute, bc I read ur entire series of classification agere soukoku, and first of all I love it sm and you've saved my life and second of all I've been thinking about what would happen when dazai leaves the mafia in that au. and how chuuya would be so devistated not only to lose his partner but also his baby sorry my demons....

It is ALWAYS valid to be insane fkkdkdkd never ask. I’m so glad you like the fic it really means a lot to hear 🥺💕🥺💕

Dazai and Chuuya separating makes me so sad my brain usually just glosses over it LMAO (like, they both needed the time apart to grow up a bit, and their relationship is probably healthier and better off for it lmao but still Do Not Separate Them)

I’ve seen a lot of different takes about how Chuuya would feel over Dazai leaving PM (and obviously the classification au throws a wrench in all of it akkdkfjs but I’m trying to stick to the cannon so it would be pretty similar) but I think mostly Chuuya would be Angry.

And by angry, I mean when a parent gets mad at a kid for running across the street and being hit by a car. I think there’s a lot of really complicated emotions at play, Chuuya values loyalty and comradeship, he would probably be hurt that Dazai is gone, hurt he defected, hurt he didn’t take Chuuya with.

I also feel like Chuuya would be stuck in the denial stage of the five stages of grief (that asshole isn’t dead no way he’s like a cockroach), he would be worried that Dazai is just gone and he doesn’t know where he is or if he’s safe, that worry manifests into more anger… it fuels a cycle. There’s a lot of super complicated feelings and guilt on both sides (and thank you once again BSD for your complex characters)

I do think devastated is a good word to use, you’re hanging out with someone constantly and you have this emotionally vulnerable bond, then it’s just a hard cut off because they disappear. That’s got to effect any person, especially one as emotionally expressive as Chuuya.

I imagine distractions would be the best way he deals with these emotions, Chuuya probably throws himself into his work and rises through the ranks of the PM and gains reputation as a destructive force. He busies himself with other things and just tries not to think about whether or not Dazai is taking care of himself (almost attempting to mentally separate)

I think Chuuya does eventually tackle and work through these feelings, and he’s still totally in denial about him being dead, but I think over the years the anger fades and Chuuya just hopes that he’s got a safe place to rest his head at night. (And they’ll have to probably tackle those feelings at some point and work through it, show each other how much they’ve grown up ajdhhfjsjs)

Side tangent but I’m a big fan of when people make Chuuya feel safe with Dazai bc he quiets Arahabaki, and obviously in the AU Chuuya is Dazai’s safe space (and in cannon actually. Fuck it.) so neither of them will feel 100% at ease until they’re reunited.

Chuuya also probably has fallen asleep hugging Fishie after having a bit too much wine and getting in his feelings a few times 🥺💕

#PlayRough Classification AU #bsd au #💌

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biggiedraws · 7 months

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what's currently rotating on the rotisserie of your brain?

hi, thank you for the ask!! i am currently in soukoku hell (in a good way) and have been since the bsd season 5 finale. its just...... everything about their dynamic makes me INSANE- the way they understand each other flawlessly and use it to deliberately push each others buttons. the way theyre direct opposites which means they perfectly cover each others weaknesses but also cannot stand each other. the fact that chuuya trusts dazai enough to ever even entertain the idea of using corruption, let alone the fact that he uses it after dazai defected from the mafia and resurfaced as his fucking enemy?????? they have so much HISTORY and theyre so in denial about how much they actually care about each other its literally the best dynamic ever

corruption is what really gets me (especially bc i just read that chapter of the manga today lol). it feels like its not enough to just say chuuya puts his life in dazais hands or risks his life in hopes that dazai will save him. its more like he throws himself off a cliff and trusts that dazai will catch him before he hits the ground. and not only has chuuya done this more than once - he does it even after dazai has given him many many reasons NOT to trust him. chuuya knows damn well that he shouldnt trust dazai, but he does anyway. and like, we dont get to see much of their history together, but that alone tells SO MUCH. especially knowing their backstories and that they clashed from the very start - that trust didnt come out of nowhere. theyve been through so much together they have absolute faith in each other but theyre so goddamn dysfunctional that all they know how to do is bicker. im going to scream

halfway through writing this i remembered that dead apple exists. dazai put an antidote in his mouth before he was poisoned because he knew chuuya would punch him in the face as soon as he found him. chuuya used corruption when dazai was PRESUMED DEAD, knowing very well that if dazai was actually dead then using corruption would be a death sentence. dazai was put into a deep sleep and then chuuya rescued him from a dragon in a castle - getting a little heavy handed with the prince charming imagery, dont we think? and then they shared the most tender dialogue theyre capable of - which means both refusing to acknowledge the fact that the only reason theyre both alive is because of their unwavering trust in each other, and fiercely denying the possibility that they could have any kind of positive or even neutral feelings toward each other. and of course lightly bullying each other. like this movie really just sums it up doesnt it. they loooove to talk about how much they hate each other but when the chips are down they would do anything for each other. fuck man

this isnt even all of it - i didnt mention anything from season 5 but this post is already long enough and its getting late. but one thing i will say - i need an au where dazai dies and chuuya has a fucked up and repressed breakdown about it. its barely more than a concept in my head but the angst...... oughhhh its so good. ill probably ramble about it properly at some point but thats all i got for now

#also omg anon i love the imagery of a rotisserie in my brain. gently rotating my blorbos until they are evenly roasted......#thanks again for the ask omg im sorry for such a long reply but i had so much fun with it <3 #biggie answers #bsd

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mytragedyperson · 9 months

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You know, I'm starting to realise I might have just been in denial when I said I have no toxic shops.

Like I've been confused lately because when I was watching BSD my brain for some reason saw Dazai and Akutagawa and just went ship. So I was concerned but also confused because what? That's not the type of thing I usually ship? That's so toxic, I don't usually ship toxic things.

But it's 2AM and I'm currently scrolling through the Lawlight tag where in Canon one of them literally murders the other (honestly, Light and L give me Romeo and Juliet vibes, only it's more toxic and I like their (Lawlight's) story better. So you know also not exactly the healthiest ship out there and neither will happen because that would be insane. In the Canon universe it wouldn't work out. And I goy no choice about shipping either of them

Also Haikyuu doesn't really have any toxic ships that compare in any way to this but it is interesting that of all the possible ships, 2 of my top 5 are Oikage and Tsukikage which canonically are probably as close to toxic as Haikyuu gets, if you know what I mean.

Enemies to lovers is always a win. Even in Kuroko's basketball my main ship is Kagami x aomine. But tbf that one's not my fault really. Rivals always have tension.

Also it's not just gay ships or anime ships. I also shipped Chuck and Blaire in gossip girl which is a common ship but is also toxic. I'm sure there are others that I'm just not remembering now but yeah, this has been my thought process.

And I hope it yoes without saying that, just because I find these dynamics between fictional people interesting, that doesn't mean I think these dynamics are healthy or what a relationship should be. It's only when it's fictional and even then I've literally been questioning everything, trying to force myself to ship other things, moreso with Dazai x Akutagawa than anything else, like, I'm trying to ship Shin Soukouku but it's hard because while they do have some good moments, most of those moments either mention Dazai or are somehow caused or influenced by Dazai. Soukouku is easier to ship. But either way I can live with myself because I also ship Ranpoe and I do ship that more because thats practically Canon.

#lawlight #death note #bungou stray dogs #bsd #Akutagawa x Dazai #send help for my inner toxic shipper #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#kuroko no basket #why is my brain like this #oh well #the good thing about being a multishipper #is that for every toxic ship i have #theres multiple healthy ships as well #gossip girl

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