pspsps people who did/are doing an mlis. what bachelors degree did you do and what are some of the degrees you know other people in your program did? I am trying to figure out. college stuff (also feel free to tell me any other experiences/advice you have related to an mlis!)

I'm sorry if this is a weird question and its totally ok if you dont want to answer it but, if you dont mind, how did you enjoy your experience in art college? Do you have any tips or things to say to those who want to or are considering following the same path? I'm finishing high school in some months and i really dream of persuing art in the Academic's Way but everyday i fear not being able to "get a proper job" or "be a 'productive' functioning member of society" if that's what i decide to do (or even worse: Getting a job, or just getting into college, but starting to dread (making) art. I think this is what messes with me the most. I know how capitalism can make you hate your job and i dont know if i'm ready to. Idk. Go through that when it comes to art-making). I really love drawing and making art and studying and observing art and there's nothing in the world I wish to learn more about than it, but suddenly I feel so much doubt & fear & etc... again sorry if this is too personal, you definitely dont need to answer if you dont feel like it !!! hope you have a good night/morning anyway

Hello my darling i can try to answer that

long to follow:

let me start with a few things/disclaimers of sorts which weighted Quite A Lot in my ability to enjoy college and that might be wildly different where you live:

i went to an art college in France (because. i live here) and through post-highschool education without having to worry once about being in debt in my early twenties. i have no loans to pay back. i could go back to the school and get a master without needing to take one, i could decide to go to a different uni without having to worry about debt. i don't have on my back the Weight you might have, if you're American, to know you might have to reimburse thousands or tens of thousands of bucks in student loans.

another thing: i did not, and do not have still, parental pressure to Get A Job. my parents always have been insanely supportive of my desire to go to art college, and even as i now, today, am overcome with doubts and "damn i should do other studies to have a chance in the job market", they've never been like ":/ you're not gonna go very far in life with that art degree…". they want me to get a job i will Like bc they've accumulated Sucky Jobs their whole lives but they've never mocked me for my art studies path, for my desire to work in the arts/literature. they're not people who value Being A Good Capitalism Pawn And Doing A Sucky 9-5 Until You Die, which i am very thankful for, but it might not be the case for your family, your friends, your culture.

ok now that The Lore is out of the way let me keep going

our art college experiences WILL be fundamentally different unless you go to the Specific one i went in france. the functioning of that school is apparently even very different than its own neighbors within the country, so everything i say will be vastly different for you, period.

art college To Me mostly brought me four things: new ways to see, speak of, decipher, understand, and make art (so valuable); new frameworks to talk about and understand my own art and others (SO VALUABLE!); new skills (namely engraving and photography); and fantastic people to meet. if you do go to art school i Pray you meet people who are so interesting so different from you and do art in such specific ways that you will have your world rocked. to me, just these 4 things fundamentally Changed Me (for the best), and even if i get no money from it i consider that experience so anchored in me.

this is likely a Culture thing, but most of us in art school knew Damn Well we had a lot of chances to not make money with our art LOL. like the recurring joke was "étudiant en art aujourd'hui, chômeur demain" ["art student today, unemployed tomorrow"]. and it wasn't a… big deal? like it wasn't a Hustling Culture at all. number of my classmates were fucking hippies (AFFECTIONATE) LOL.

that's a lot of rambling to say that i wasn't 1) brought up in a Money-Centric family who will push me out of the house so i can go #grind and are perfectly comfortable with me taking time to build a portfolio bc covid kinda prevented me from doing that teehee 2) studying in a Money-Centric school. even if, today as i did then, i'm very much aware i might not have the Best Perspectives For A Bountiful Coin-Getting Future, i still have the ability to Go Back To School if i want without it being a sure way to get myself in thousands of bucks in debt.

our experiences Will be insanely different, so LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS THAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU

connect with people. YES it's hard and harder if you're shy you're gonna have to do it.

go to any lectures or whatnot that interest you so you can 1) connect with people 2) Meet New Interesting Faces

if your school brings artists from Outside for workshops/lectures/whatnot, ask them question… look at their work… etc… some schools have Working Artists as professors so if there's one whose work you love TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

if something your professor says Interests you, asks them for more reading on it, more references, etc… even if you don't read em! it will 1) show them you care 2) give you more stuff to come back to if you ever DO want to read em lol.

if your school has photography/engraving/design/whatnot classes that interest you, jump on the occasion. it might Unlock something in you, and that's a skill you can market anyways.

if some students in your school decide to make a little.. school newspaper, or artists' group, or this or that, JUMP ON THE OCCASION. again, that might be a marketable skill later. you can even try to make one yourself!

in case of another covid lockdown: CHECK WHICH OF YOUR CLASSES HAVE POSSIBILITIES TO BE HAD ONLINE! a lot of art history classes can be online, but most classes where you learn a new skill With Your Hands will get fucked over if covid hit. my school relied A Lot on you Coming To It and being on your own in huge rooms and working on your own and then meet professors about it, so then covid hit, a Huge Part of the actual work you did in school got fucked over, which made my 2nd and 3rd years Not The Best. if you can, try to have a good balance of classes you can have online and classes you have in-school so you don't get Too fucked over if another plague hits.

if your school organizes like… exhibitions, or has artist calls for projects… keep an eye on em. participate if you can. i didn't participate in a lot during my own years and i'm sad about it :( don't do like me!!! actually bite life as it comes baby.

damn that's long. ok. tldr: we Will have vastly different experiences. that's unavoidable. here ^ were some tips.

from me to you + something i might abide by: if you Love art hugely, but feel like Making It for money so you can eat will make you feel like shit… well i can understand. i can empathize. at the end of my cursus, most students are kinda expected to become self-employed artists, but as you can guess… rough life. SO! if you love art but Making It For Profit fills you with dread, here are a few ideas from me:

study art history! even if you're not interested in being a professor of that (which is also A Good Thing To Be + my 1st year art history professor easily one of my favorites i've had), museums or galleries or institutions sometimes look for people who've studied that for mediation jobs (when you welcome a public and Tell Em about what they're looking at). you can study art history Broadly or focus on little things. for ex. i might decide at some point to go back to uni for a art history focus and maaaybe even prehistoric art focus.

what else. if you an artist Now try to participate in zines, or make your own even if they suck so you can put that on a resume (and again, IF you go to art school and your classmates/YOU start a little school newspaper… that shit goes in the resume!!!)

if you have any time and/or motivation, get yourself some online classes about like. adobe suite (you can pirate it honestly) or generally softwares that Art People Love. again -> marketable skill babey!!!!

i'm not sure if Any of that is valuable to you. i wish you all the best in this Bitch of a world.

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.

wow its been a minute huh but ok!!! apparently its been... 6 months since i did a catch up post y i k e s but that about tracks with the chaotic state of my life these days. so uhhhh let’s see where things are at since my last update. honestly if u want a better more consistent look at my life instagram @mermaidjadeofficial is my more active place now just cause i have to be better about it for business reasons :/ 

I successfully baked that wedding cake and it turned out lovely

still doing taiko drumming!!! I had my first stage performance this september, I’d played at small events or on the sidelines at some local half-marathon races before, but it was nice to push into full song/stage routine. as a hobby it’s been really nice and honestly. everyone should adopt a hobby where the other members are predominantly women over the age of 65. Birdwatching, knitting, book club, whatever. It’s so refreshing to spend time with people that far outside my age group and older ladies are a HOOT. Also with all my joint problems I finally feel on par vs spending time with all my climber/mountain biker friends. Also Karen’s having her hip replacement in a few weeks so everyone send her good vibes for her recovery. 

keepin’ on with the modeling, though took a break for the later half of fall. Did several photoshoots this summer, including a big bridal one in july. It was fun but now that I have some for my portfolio I’m pretty over bridals, unless they involve some other fun concept. That’s like 90% of the photoshoots in Utah though because of the mormon population density so may or may not be shooting myself in the foot if I stop those. I am really proud of how well me & the male model in oregon did at pretending to be a couple tho! being able to pose naturally/convincingly with someone you’ve known less than 24hours is a skill, however undervalued, and I am proud of myself for being good at it.

I WENT BACK TO IRELAND!!!! ahhhhh my sad homesick heart. Spent time in Scotland & England again as well, I went BACK to the ISLE OF SKYE, it rained on me there a lot again but I did get one beautiful day. I got to see old friends, new places, old places I missed dearly, and eat a LOT of pastries. Like, a LOT. I could talk forever about the trip so I’ll just leave things at that.

While in Dublin I also went to worldcon again!! And I did finish my Raven Queen costume for it and I’m super proud of how it turned out. It’s the first corset I’ve ever sewn and it’s somewhat a miracle it fits but I definitely leveled up sewing wise with this project!!

got back from abroad and pretty much instantly got thrown right back into fieldwork. I don’t think I unpacked for a full month and a half after getting back since I was basically camping/staying in an airbnb for work for three weeks of september and the first two weeks of october. it was beautiful in the desert as always but also i cannot describe my relief at not having to live out of a suitcase for the first time since mid july.

i just realized that the cake picture followed by two bridal modeling example photos below it make it look like i actually got married so just to clarify. i definitely didn’t.

on the weekends between all those work trips I also ended up traveling, once to salt lake for some photoshoots! a fun La Llorona inspired one, one of my raven queen costume, and one just fancy dress one in the Utah Capitol Building.

and to denver to visit my bf/friends including one visiting from out of state, go to the oddities & curiosities expo, and then go two concerts!!! I saw Korpiklaani and Eluveitie, and then Arch Enemy and Amon Amarth, the later two I’d never seen play live before. I love moab but I MISS CONCERTS SO MUCH sometimes ahhhhhg

been trying to get better at my own photography/editing/retouching as well. have done a couple portrait edits of myself but I think I wanna start getting other models to pose for me so I can work on faces that aren’t my own bc wow does staring at yourself for 5-8 hours make you keenly aware of every flaw your skin possess. 

I also have been very sparse online bc, and this is probably the main important one and no one will read this far down now that i’ve burried it. but i spent most of my free time the last two months studying for the GRE, which I have now taken. i am going to try to find a school/lab and go back for my masters degree, ideally with a start date of next fall. it’s a big step i’ve been putting off for a long time but i feel like if I just keep waiting I will never do it. so. that’s gonna be a big life change in my future, assuming I can find somewhere to take me.

because of the above: i am not doing NaNoWriMo this year. that’s honestly the biggest bummer of my life right now. I made it 4 years in a row and it is always such a good motivational challenge for me. and I’ve even had things I planned out to work on for most of it that I was really looking forward to!!! but honestly I just couldn’t swing it and study for the GRE and had to put the latter as my priority. which sucks. idk if I’ll have time to do it in the future either bc grad schedule but... yeah. trying not to think about it too much at the moment bc it bums me out.

Kazul is still the most perfect and beautiful snake ever and our 2 year anniversary was a few days ago :)

ok this update is hugeo so i’ll leave it there. if you read this far, pls sell me your attention span, i need to find/purchase/steal one before i go back to academia 

h...hey ! Could I ask for that one character meme again (you know, that one which you most recently answered with Hisako)? This time with Ibusaki and Marui? Cause that would like...rly interest me qwq

ofc !! my door is always open for the psd babes wink wonk

send me a character and ill answer these questions for them !

Ibusaki:

do I like them: ya def he’s the cool + mysterious type how could i not??? tbqh the moment i laid eyes on him i Knew. i Knew i would like him.

5 good qualities:1) perseverance to the fuckin max2) type of person that would thoroughly fuck someone over for not crediting original artists/creators3) extremely perceptive aka has a really sensitive bullshit meter and his intuition is probs always spot on.4) smoking is such a?? cool technique to specialise in?? usually its probs an add on, not a main component of the dish but ibusaki manages to not only allow it to supplement his ingredients but also make smoking become the main dish itself, im so awed.5) could probably kill you with his bare hands. i mean this boy can handle logs of wood and woodchippers and chainsaws with relative ease, he’s probs ripped af and the strongest out of all the psd members 

3 bad qualities:1) holes himself up when upset2) adding on, probably doesn’t ask for help as often as he should - not that he doesn’t want to, but imo he’ll struggle to ask; and when someone asks if he’s ok, when he finally makes up his mind to speak up the moment/opportunity to has passed3) he’s gonna get really bad eyesight if he keeps up with that hairstyle LMAO 

favourite episode/etc: when he realised !! mimasaka had stolen his techniques !! idk something about that panel Spoke to me. maybe its bc its That Moment when the cool chara gets angry yknow aha :”DD

otp: ibusaki/ryoko !!! theyre cute and an ultimate power couple. probably get mistaken as models when they walk around town lmao. theyve probs been featured in magazines as “couples around town to watch out for !!” for their fashion sense and good looks :”)))

brotp: ibusaki/shoji/daigo !!! theyre morning birds and workout together !! while ibusaki is shaving his woodchips, shoji and daigo are working in the fields, and they typically have breakfast together everyday !! also they like competing for who can do the most pushups in a minute lolol

ot3  ot4: the psd babes !! ibusaki/ryoko/yuki/marui lolol

notp: romantic ibusaki/isshiki....that’s....pls no. i see them in a senpai-kouhai way !! i headcanon isshiki is one of the few (like marui and ryoko) who can tell when ibusaki’s upset and are patient enough to wait for him to speak up. also isshiki in general is a great big bro figure.

best quote: “...that bastard.” i love it when characters curse in canon god bless

head canon: has an older sister(older by 10years) who’s serious and straightlaced + a wildly successful president of her own company, and a happy go lucky older brother(older by 7years) who is too fickle for his own good and travels all over the world as a photographer(originally wildlife, but changed to freelance after the company he worked for collapsed. he still wants to go back into wildlife photography tho!!). both of them dote on him tooooons and he receives the Most and Biggest packages in the entire dorm bc of them :”)))

Marui:

do I like them: YES !! im honestly so glad that marui is a character in shokugeki - i greatly appreciate a character that mainly uses brains and intellect to come out on top in a typical scenario where brawn and talent is hugely praised. 

5 good qualities: 1) SMART !! so gosh darned smart im so proud of my son !! he absorbs knowledge and understands it and is able to apply it, which is the most incredible and difficult task, yet he executes it with perfection :”)) adding on, he’s the fuckin ace of his research club like what the heckin hell, people need to give him more credit for his skills2) acute awareness of what he lacks and actively works to compensate for it with his strengths3) actually the most relatable character. gets exhausted at everything like same lmaooo4) the friend that gives good advice that nobody follows, moans about yall “i toooldd yoouuuu soooo ...!!!”, but still helps yall out of whatever trouble caused :”))5) he’s good at understanding people’s needs and wants even if they don’t explicitly say it out loud and subtly provides them w help so the person doesn’t feel awkward uvu

3 bad qualities:1) might rely too much on book intellect ! i feel this might restrict him when it comes to a proper shokugeki and he has to think/act on his feet - he’s probs the type to just freeze up if things don’t go to plan :”((2) probably focuses too much on polishing his strengths to an unhealthy amount - if he isn’t the best at what he specialises in he goes through immense self doubt and pressure3) gives into pressure really easily...! because he’s so good natured he finds it hard to say no to people, even if he knows he’s gonna Suffer for this. he’s That poor dude u see standing by the sidewalk for half an hour nodding as some religious person preaches about their faith to him LMAO :”D

favourite episode/etc: chap55!!! WHEN HE BARES HIS FANGS AND SHOWS OFF HIS SKILLS....WORK IT !!

otp: oooh i like marui/yuki !! cuties who probs pull all nighters to finish video games all in one go :”)) they probs go to animal cafes a lot and watch all the fuckin animes. theyre so knowledgeable about animals and anime its nearly scary ahaha :”DD

brotp: marui/ibusaki !!! they def are super close and hang out a lot. ibusaki helps out with marui’s fashion sense and marui helps ibusaki w his studies. i headcanon they were initially wary of each other bc of outer looks(ibusaki got that goth look and marui has an intellectual air so lol) but got to know each other through realising they share the same taste in books !! now they have very exciting convos about scifi !!

ot3 ot4: same as usual for the psd babes !! ibusaki/ryoko/yuki/marui lolol

notp: hmmm marui/failure...?? bc i dont know many marui ships (i dont even think there’s many sO). ya i want to see my boy succeed !!!

best quote: “I dont have an outstanding cooking sense, and my physical strength is below average. That’s exactly why i have a strong desrei for knowledge, all so that an ordinary man like me can fight against all those geniuses.”

head canon: actually has really, really low prescription can can do without specs, but wears them anyway bc of fear that his eyesight will get worse if he doesn’t, although he’s been going to the optometrist for years now without his degree worsening at all (this is due to his detailed eyecare routines. he’s the guy who actually takes a break from the computer/reading/studying to look outside at something green for 10min lolol)

i need to complain about my uni some more i found out so much shit today i am honestly so tired and i’m so glad i’m graduating this place is hell on earth

okay so... my uni is shitty in general right? i’ve had a lot... a LOT... of issues here... i haven’t done a conventional route for an undergrad what i did was i did a 2 year foundation degree [fda] and then came here to do my 3rd year, but i decided to go into the second year because i didn’t feel like i’d learnt enough on my fda, and there were modules i thought looked really interesting [for example... an exchange programme... which i’ll get to in a moment] so i went into the 2nd year as opposed to the 3rd [my mum went batshit at me but that’s another story sjdnjdvncd]

okay so!!! when i started there september 2016 AND i thought it was gonna be great... i’d moved to the city and i was living with a friend of mine + 8 other people [that was fucking awful i’m still kinda traumatised from that experience so this year i’ve lived by myself it was THAT bad] and it was easy for me to move to the 2nd year and everything and one of the lecturers who’s head of the course right he helped me sort out seeing a counsellor [that’s a mess], sorting DSA [disabled students allowance bc i’d been diagnosed with depression & anxiety] and a few other things and it was fine!!! i was managing to go to class almost every day despite shit happening in the module we did where the group i was working in we had to have THREE!!!! meetings with the aforementioned head of the course bc of how BADLY we were working together and that rly like... messed me up and i get anxious when there’s conflict so that made me kinda not wanna go to class etc. 

then they messed up my exchange and i ended up not going and that was a massive blow to my mental health i already wasn’t doing great for a bunch of other reasons :/ i got accepted into a really good uni in seoul that was hard to get into and i even got offered an EXTENDED exchange bc of how good they thought my grades were and yet my uni thought my grades were SHIT????? OKAY! 

then in december 2016 i got so bad to the point i tried to kill myself once and planned it at least twice more :// and my uni was aware of it and they’re SUPPOSED to intervene and didn’t lmao i was seeing a mental health worker on campus because, to quote the counsellor i saw TWICE, “my issues were too complex and deep rooted to be dealt” and then went and saw the mh worker she was lovely :(( but i was so fucking bad at that point i literally... didn’t care lmao and was too anxious to even leave my room [i’m like that now too] my uni IGNORED ME for over 6 MONTHS being aware that i’d been suicidal???? then sent letters about my attendance bc i barely attended uni for like 3~ish months from december-march time... and were threatening to kick me out which lead to this first ‘support meeting’ but the documents i got sent insinuated i was gonna be kicked out of the course regardless of the fact i was getting good grades????

i had that meeting in like may 2017? and they were discussing like whether i should be allowed to attend this summer school in shanghai that i went on [i did but i had a suicidal moment whilst out there bc of the stuff that had happened back here]... i got the notes back from the meeting and... wow. just wow. one part was insinuating i was a danger to other students and staff because i’d had suicidal tendencies. and they just went on and on about the well being and safety of other people completely disregarding... the fact... i wanted to die and had attempted that... like that alone to me is complete bullshit. there’s some other stuff as well but idk if i should say it’s supposed to be confidential wdojfnefdc i might expose it once i leave here tho bc it’s appalling????

like they ignored me after i had attempted suicide and it was a uni issue bc i’m in THEIR care and they were AWARE of VARIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES YET THEY WERE JUST LIKE NAH LET’S BLAME HER MAKE HER FEEL WORSE!!!!

so september 2017 comes around the summer i’d taken time to myself to recover etc and i had another one of those meetings, where i was told if i was ‘refusing’ to engage i would be kicked out or forced to defer and finish my degree at a later date. i was supposed to meet my lecturer every 2 weeks, and my mental health worker every two weeks. that happened for october and then!!!! my lecturer had a research trip for a month and never bothered to contact me like he promised, AND my mental health worker cancelled my appointments 3 times and i got an email to inform me she was sick and i would be contacted when she was back etc and i never got the email back...

i’ve been fine for the most part since then but of course personal things have happened that have made me have my moments and in december... with jonghyun... especially when it was the year anniversary of me like... being like that myself... i made a promise to him to try and graduate and not get like that ever again and mostly it’s been fine but... i’m still depressed and anxious etc it’s a long term thing i’ve dealt with but... it’s the fact my uni makes promises to take care of its students and then... has turned around to me and made me feel so unwelcome and stuff??? saying i’m dangerous to other people BECAUSE i’m mentally ill????? that’s not fucking okay????

and today i’ve found out SO much bullshit like they have favourite students, they refuse to mark stuff properly because they don’t want to influence the national average etc and other shitty excuses. AND THE FUCKING WORST.... RIGHT I STUDY PHOTOGRAPHY, SO YOU WOULD ASSUME... THAT THAT PHOTOGRAPHS WOULD BE CONSIDERED AS PART OF MARKING... APPARENTLY THEY DON’T REALLY MARK THEM :)))) LIKE???? SURELY.... SEEING... AS IT’S PHOTOGRAPHY.......THEY WOULD CONSIDER THAT AS PART OF MARKS......... BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i’m honestly fuming i hate this place so much i wish i’d never come here or done my fda through them either LMAO

Alright in light of the dick tape I discovered on my easel I bring this into the world. So this is a college headcanon about Dave and I'm gonna do my best to put it into words but idk how well it'll come out so bear with me. Dave always really liked dead stuff, like he always had a little collection of bird bones and weird dead things in jars in his room. He's also always been interested in music, photography, and filmmaking. When Dave goes to college, he decides upon Paleontology bc he likes dead stuff, but after a year he realizes that paleontology is more about writing professional essays than handling dead stuff. (Bear with me my knowledge is limited and I'm trying to just hash this out before it's gone) So then he decides to switch his major to music, which involves transferring to a new university. And he goes to this rly nice place in like Maine or something where Rose goes, and he meets Karkat and a few others in the gang. But when he tells his family about his swapping majors and schools, he faces a lot of the stereotypes like "you'll just be a starving artist with a mountain of debt" and "you'll make music and maybe you'll be able to sell it to people who like it but you'll never be famous and no one will ever know your name" and this really fucks him up a lot because if there's one thing our generation is pressured about its to go to college and get a bachelors degree in something you love, but NEVER art. It's to be successful at what you do. And love what you do. But in Dave's case, like so many others who want to go into the arts, he can't have both. Because "there's no money in art" obviously (which is a lie??). Art of any kind is only supposed to be a hobby. A dream we'll never catch. So for awhile dave thinks about going back to paleontology, but the thing is that he's not as passionate about writing professional essays and looking at dead stuff as he is about making music. So he fights with himself for a whole semester on what to do because he doesn't want to fail and end up not being able to take care of himself, but he doesn't want to end up at a job he hates, that will never get him anywhere. During this time he hits a pretty hard wall in making music. Because he's really conflicted on what he should do, and his projects are all late and they're subpar to what he did when he first made the switch, and he isn't enjoying making the music because he's unhappy with how they're turning out. And he ends up almost failing his music classes that semester. But then he talks to Rose about it, because Rose can see that he's really distressed and offers her help, snarky comments and jokes aside. She's genuinely worried about her brother because it's clear he hasn't slept in a week, and even if he has, it's been fitful. So he tells her what it is that's got him so stressed out, and she tells him that those people can go fuck themselves with pitchforks. She tells him that he shouldn't listen to them because they don't pave the path to his future. She tells him that Dave is in control of his own future, and whatever he wants to do with his musical talent, he can do it. She puts it into his head, drills it into his skull, that those people and what they think does not matter. What matters is what he wants to do for himself in order to achieve his goals. So after that really heartfelt talk with Rose, Dave kind of loosens up on everything a bit more. He starts really having fun with his music again. He's at his new school on a pretty decent scholarship, and he has a shitty job at like Staples or Applebee's or something. And here's the thing abt Dave. He doesn't really...WANT to be a big famous musician. He doesn't really like the idea of being in the public eye like that. He'd be fine with playing at bars and DJing at clubs and selling his work on bandcamp and patreon. He's not looking for a life where he's drowning in money. He's looking for a life where he can make music that he likes, and it's fine if other people like it too, and would even want to give him a couple bucks to have it for themselves as well. Dave takes classes in filmmaking, videoediting, photography, he takes painting classes, but decides that while the class is a good one and the professor has a good teaching method, he doesn't really have the attention or patience for painting. He doesn't really understand why, since he can sit longer to work on music and video or photo editing than three painting classes combined, but then later on he realizes that he doesn't have as much fun as he does when he makes shitty comics like SBAHJ. He's good at drawing, but taking those classes don't turn out to be enjoyable for him. During college, Dave kind of finds himself. He hits bumps along the road, sometimes big, sometimes small. But he finally manages to figure out where his heart is, and that is in the arts. People still give him shit about going into music, but he tells them to fuck off, because really, it's his life and he could not give any less of a fuck about what they think. After he graduates, for awhile he travels around and does little gigs at bars and clubs and parties, but eventually he settles down in the city in Baltimore, right up in the D.C. bay area, and runs a little music store of his own. He buys it cheap, since it had been for sale for so long, and he has instruments and music books and records and special equipment in there. It's all slow at first, but it gains a steady following, and he likes meeting the people that come in. He likes helping them find what they need. He still makes music all the time and sells it in albums on patreon and bandcamp. He does streams on twitch and shit like that. He still plays gigs at the local bar. Dave's having fun with life, and he's still hella young, early 20s. He's still figuring himself out, but he's just going through life easy. This turned into a little more than just a college headcanon and it got really deep but I'm happy with how it came out so here it is I hope you enjoy it lmao