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admiringlove · 3 years

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IX: aparecium; an incantation to always remember.

— you finally read all the other pages of his diary.

+pairing: miya atsumu x reader.

+genre: crossover(hq x hp); fluff; angst; frenemies to lovers.

+word count: 2.9k.

+warnings: FLUFF!! pls, if i don’t put fluff, some of my moots would cry(*cough* ray).

+usual customers(taglist): @babyworld @renee1414 @anotherhydrangea @seita @tobiosnoelle @weebslxt @tsukkiwaifu16 @loveusandoor @kozumebri @sarawrz @crackheadsara @kyuudere @cultsax @supernovaa-a @akaashikeijisan @b3llo-there @sugasloverr @kagebunshiin @tetsurolls @velvetfireworks @kritiiiii @1wai@seijohlogy @sweetrosemilktea @bellesowl @ems1des @akaashi-todorki @sakuric @irishhbamb @sweetsamus @cherriechurros @mxshimoo @bluebirdandcomrades @zukuroo @denki-core @sarahvvictoria @littlevoxine

+author’s notes: this is the last chapter(im def not sad) BUT i will be writing bonus parts!!

+navigation: previous, masterlist,.

You stand in front of your apartment, sighing as you close your eyes, making your way inside your bedroom and begin to pick up the cardboard boxes with the help of your wand, moving them outside into the living room for someone(who is quite late, yet again) to take to your new home.

You tie your hair up, fixing your overcoat a little as you sigh, making your way to the smallest box, placed in the corner of the room. Just by looking at the stamp on top of it, you smile.

The memories of your time at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You carefully sit on your knees, your plaid skirt riding up just a smidge, as you open the carton in front of you.

To say that it was filled up completely was an understatement because right now, a few books and photographs fell out onto your lap, making you chuckle. You picked up the photographs, settling with your back against the wall and your legs stretching out, as you looked through them one by one.

The first one—one of your graduation ceremony, standing next to Shimizu Kiyoko(the current owner of the most popular Quidditch shop in London) who was beaming vividly at the camera with you, holding up your wands as a gesture that you had finally done it. Something that seemed almost insurmountable when you first started school, and now? You all were content, happy with your lives.

The second photograph was one from the third year, your first time in Hogsmeade. You were in The Three Broomsticks, and a mustache of the froth from the butterbeer had formed atop your lips. Behind you, a certain fox pointed and laughed his guts out.

The next picture was from the Shrieking Shack—where all of your friends had ditched the second last day of school and spent the whole day drinking and reminiscing the past seven years of nostalgic happiness. A boy held your hand with the fondest look in his carob orbs, and you returned it.

You gingerly took the three photos, storing them in the photo album that had also fallen out of the box in the process of you opening it. Smiling, you took out some more mementos.

Your broomstick, the Nimbus 2001, sat at the bottom, but you excitedly removed it and placed it on the ground, saying, "Up!"

It almost made it to your hand but fell down upon grazing your fingertips. You pouted, blaming the number of years it had passed since you had played Quidditch. Peering into the box as you placed the broomstick aside, you found something even funnier.

Cheap, piss colored hair-dye that was almost ten-years-old.

You chuckled, looking at it playfully as you opened the top of the bottle. The disgusting odor that came from it made you grunt as you immediately placed the cap back on top, never desiring to touch that thing ever again. And once more, you placed the item in your hand to the side, looking into the box to find more things that reminded you of your happiest years.

You couldn't believe your eyes at what sat at the bottom of the carton.

An empty notebook with a soft leather cover, with a grey quill by its side, sitting there and ridiculing you.

You blinked twice, making sure what you were seeing was real. Hell, you even rubbed your eyes until you could see mindless patterns in the dark. You opened your eyes, the patterns making themselves sort of visible in plain sight, disappearing after a few milliseconds when you grabbed the brown book in front of you and whispered with your wand in hand, "Aparecium."

September 2, 20**.

I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. It’s been 3 years since I started loving her. When I saw her walk into the train today, umm, yesterday cause it’s past 2 AM now… I felt so happy?? I mean, I know I tease her and all, she’s quite amazing. She’s got the brains for it all and insults me back even when I say something stupid. I really dunno. 3 years and I’ve made 0 progress. I seriously need to re-think my decision about my love for this girl 'cause 'Samu says there’s no chance she loves me back. Dunno if I’ll be able to stop my feelings, though. I’ve liked her since my second year. Damn me, for being such a lovesick puppy. And to think I colored my hair for her too. [Y/N] called it piss-colored. Out of all things, why the fuck would ya compare somebody’s hair to piss? That’s utterly disgusting. I wonder where [L/N] gets these dumb ideas. Damn her, that slug. Anyways, I have class in a couple hours. G'night.

'Tsumu.

You immediately let out a hearty laugh, flipping to the next page when you remembered a certain encounter with the boy who wrote the diary. The day he told you he loved you, by the infamous Black Lake, he spoke of this particular page. He said that he addressed the nightly trips around Hogwarts, about how much he longs to be yours, about his happiness when he sees you, and your snarky comments that are just as, if not more, witty than his.

September 4, 20**

Today was the third day of school. Also my first trip around Hogwarts with [Y/N] under my invisibility cloak. We snuck into the kitchens and got ourselves steak pies and treacle tarts, and then went to the Astronomy Tower where we ate them while laughing about nothing in particular. I love these little trips. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Dunno how to put it into words, but I really like spending time with her alone. It makes me really really really happy. I wish that someday, maybe when I'm all grown up and play for a known Quidditch Team and she's a DADA professor, we are still like this. Going around to aimless places, eating food, and laughing about the old times(or anything really, I just want to be with her even when I'm older). And just like always, she doesn't fail to throw dumb comebacks at me. I can't help but chuckle at them, because sometimes they really are offensive. Well, looks like it's time to hit the hay now, so g'night.

'Tsumu.

You gasp as the page comes to an end, a hand on your mouth. He wasn't wrong when he said he wrote about you. You smile as a tear runs down your cheek as you flip to a random page this time, and you realize that it's written in his sixth year of Hogwarts.

December 23, 20**

I stayed back for Christmas break this year and my dorm is all empty. So is hers, because she says she didn't want to go back home at all until the summer. I feel bad for her gran, that woman must feel lonely.

You giggled at the line, grinning because you remember your grandma sending you a Howler, which yelled at you in the empty dorm-room for not coming home for the holidays. She said she missed you, and that your grandfather's health was deteriorating. She had also said that she knew why you didn't come back, and that it was okay, because she understood that you couldn't see another loved one go. The Howler ended on a sorrowful note, but everything eased back into its place because you remember the writer of the diary in your hands being there to comfort you when a dreaded letter came in after the holidays. You continued reading where you left off, wiping away the new wave of tears that had emerged from the memories.

Yesterday, me and [Y/N] went around the castle under the invisibility cloak I gave her. It was fun because I always get to see this little smile on her face that only shows up during these trips. We also went to the forbidden section of the library just because we wanted to look at a few spells that are probably illegal. I did accidentally kill a rat practicing the second unforgivable curse, and [Y/N] helped me hide all the evidence by feeding the dead rat to the Hippogriff she had found in the Forbidden Forest. I swear, if someone saw the way I did the spell and couldn't stop until [Y/N] threw Expelliarmus at me, they would throw me in the deepest pin in Azkaban and I'd probably never be able to see [Y/N] again. Anyway, I have to go back out for dinner now. G'night.

'Tsumu.

You, again, laughed at the man's childishness. You recollect distinctly how scared he was, that he had almost pissed his pants in the Courtyard that night. You had assured him that nothing would go wrong and that your lips were completely sealed, because he was your friend of course, so you had quickly formulated a plan to help him. And yet again, you flip to a new page, one from the fifth year this time.

July 15, 20**

I hate this part every year. Ever since my third year, it sickens me to come back home for summer. I can't see her because she lives in Lambeth while I'm in Westminster with my posh family. It makes me a little angry sometimes that my family is well-known in the wizarding world because this means my summers are filled with whatever my parents want me to do. The train ride back home was definitely not quiet. It was so chaotic(mostly because of the constant bickering between me and [Y/N]) and Kita-san yelled at us at the end. That was the first time I've ever seen him get angry, so he was either really fed up or we were being too dumb. Anyway, I'm gonna miss Hogwarts a lot for the next month or so, because after that I get to see her again. Honestly? Can't wait for the sixth year. I hope she grows taller, because right now, she's quite the midget. I'll write her a letter or two, but I probably won't send all of them. G'night for now.

'Tsumu.

You continue reading it all. Page by page, parchment by parchment, word by word, letter by letter until you finally get to the last page. The one he wrote on the graduation day, where he says that he wants to marry you someday. But you don't get to read it just yet, because he walks into the room with his booming voice and boyish grin.

"[Y/N]! Sorry I'm late, sweetheart! I apparated back home as fast as I could 'cause Coach saw me slack off a lil-"

"So ya actually read it all, huh?" he smirks, walking up to you and crouching down next to you, "Ah, the last page, have ya read it yet?"

"Not the last one," you smile, "—if only I'd read these sooner, we wouldn't have gone through all that mindless drama in seventh year, right?"

"Eh, 'twas kinda worth it in the end," he shrugs, sitting down next to you and placing his thumb on your chin, "Love, you've been crying?"

You shook your head lightly, letting out a small chuckle which to him sounded like the sweetest melody on the face on the planet, "Tears of joy, 'Tsumu. You were a cute teenager in love."

He smiles with his teeth on display, his fading blonde hair falling on his face with perfection as he whispers, "Only for you, darling."

"I'm glad," you mutter, closing in and placing a ghost of a kiss on his lips when you realize, "Wait, shit! We have to take all of this to the House! I'm supposed to leave for Hogwarts tonight!"

"Kiss me first, then we'll talk."

"'Tsumu, you really didn't have to come all the way to Hogwarts to drop me off," you giggle, as the yellow-haired man intertwines his fingers with yours quietly, giggling along with you as he says, "Hey, now yer students get to see yer hot boyfriend that you've been with for the past eight years."

"My stupid boyfriend that did a lot of illegal things in school. You're not exactly a good influence, you know," you mumble, earning a little offended open-mouth Atsumu walking alongside you to your quarters. He continues faking the vexed expression, a hand on his heart as he says, "How could ya wound me like this, baby?"

"I love you though, so it's justified," you say, opening the door and placing your trunk by the bed. He closes the door, leaning on it with his arms crossed over his chest as you set up your things in the room. When you turned around, you saw Atsumu looking at you with the most enamored look in his clove-infused eyes. You sighed, your shoulders immediately relaxing when your orbs land on him by the door. You step towards him, your beige trench coat trailing behind as you wrap your arms around his very muscular figure(now that he's a part of Nottingham Jackals as a Beater).

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" you mumble against his chest softly, as he chuckles out, "Yer lucky ya get to stay in Hogwarts when I'm gone. Everything's gonna remind ya of me."

Before you open your mouth to retort, your boyfriend says, "Don't worry, slug. I'll send ya letters everyday. And I'll come to meet ya twice a month. Maybe you can even let me meet yer students."

"'Tsumu, no-"

"Imagine! Children and teenagers, all of 'em love me to death. They'll love yer class, even more, when you make me meet 'em!" he exclaims, his eyes filled with curiosity, "Also, also! What about the third years? I wanna be there when the boggart lesson goes on-"

"'Tsumu, no. The school won't allow it. Although, my students do come and ask about you a lot because they like your Quidditch playing skills. They're not idiots like me, they won't fall in love with your stupid personality," you chuckle, pulling away from the hug, but still holding his arms with yours. He pouts, pulling you into a soft kiss, but immediately pulling away and winking at you, "I'm gonna see ya in a few weeks. Maybe I'll take ya on a date to Hogsmeade again, we can sneak into the Shrieking Shack again under that invisibility cloak."

"'Tsumu, I'm a teacher, not a student!" you laugh, but he simply says, "If anything, that gives us an excuse!"

Miya Atsumu never expected you to be agitatedly running around in your green-room, trying to find things for your hair and make-up. He chuckles lightly because all the other people in the room can do is shake their heads and sigh at your frantic state. Your maid-of-honor, Kiyoko, tried to calm you down about half an hour ago, but it was to no avail.

Atsumu sent Kiyoko a knowing glance, to which she and all the other bridesmaids stepped outside for just a minute.

"[Y/N]," he says, his voice low but still soothing. You stop in your tracks, turning around and gasping as you looked at him—clad in sweatpants and a white shirt—and widened your eyes.

"Dummy, you aren't supposed to see me just yet! Go away and wait at the altar!" you yell, walking over to him and attempting to shove him outside the room.

Emphasis on the word, 'attempting'.

"You look exactly like what you are right now, a slug. So listen to me, love. I need to give ya something before you start stressin' out all over again," Atsumu murmurs, placing his hands on your shoulders tenderly as he pulls out a book with a leather cover and hands it to you.

You sigh, picking it up as you sit down by the vanity. Atsumu looms behind you, crouching down to whisper next to your ears, "Love, open the last page, will ya?"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, turning your head to look at him with exasperation. He places a peck to your cheek, humming indulgently as an indicator for you to continue as he instructed. You sigh again, shoulders drooping low as you turn over the book and open it, and muttering, "Aparecium."

July 2, 20**.

I want to marry [L/N] [Y/N] someday.

Miya Atsumu.

From the last day of the seventh year, and Atsumu continues to explain to you that during the train ride back home when all of you were sleeping, was when he wrote the last entry of his diary, and never opened it again. Because he knew, that he meant every word scribbled on every page.

You sat there, listening to the man with the messy faded blonde hair, losing yourself in his perfect brown eyes all over again. You felt as if you were diving deep into an ocean of pure chocolate, the sweetness and the slight bitterness getting the best of you as you drown—but voluntarily, because drowning was your intention.

"I love you, Atsumu," you say out of nowhere, cutting him off. He stops abruptly, his eyes growing wide and his mouth forming into a pout. His lips form into the brightest smile ever, as if the rays of a thousand suns meeting at one point. His boyish grin melts your heart, as he presses his lips to your forehead and says, "I love you more, darling. Now, take a breather, will ya?"

"Oh, and before I go. Don't disappoint me today, slug. I've been waiting to do this for the past eleven years."

i’m not crying. yes.

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clarascuro · 5 years

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Clara Reads City of Bones Part 3: Hogwarts Institute for Witchcraft and Shadowhunting

The Plot Thus Far

When last we left off, our lovable cardboard cutout protagonist, Clary Fray, had been attacked by a demon called a Ravener and taken to a place called “The Institute”. After three days of recovery, she has an uncomfortable (for us) conversation with Isabelle Lightwood, where we learn that Isabelle is hot and that we, the audience, should hate her for that, and also that Jace Wayland lives with the Lightwood family because his parents are dead. We are meant to feel bad about this. We are meant to feel sorry for Jace, which is a bit of a tall order, considering that Jace Wayland is the worst person to ever smirk and shrug his way through a YA book. If I were trapped in an elevator with him I wouldn’t even wait five minutes to be rescued, I’d pry those doors open and just drop. Death is cruel but quality time with Jace Wayland is crueler.

So Clary leaves the hospital wing and goes down a long hallway, lead by the sound of someone playing a piano. Last time I said that it was Alec (Isabelle’s brother) who played piano, and that it was his only character trait, but nope!! It’s actually my favorite boy Jace, that sack of human refuse! So I guess Alec has no personality, actually. Anyway, they have some “witty” “banter”, and then Alec takes her to the library to talk to the head of the Institute, Hodge Starkweather, and, yeah. I think it’s time to talk about the Harry Potter stuff.

The Harry Potter Stuff

You know how E.L. James made minor changes to her crappy Twilight fanfic and then published it as 50 Shades of Gray? Well, as near as anyone can figure out, this is basically the same thing that Cassandra Clare did with her Harry Potter fanfic The Draco Trilogy. Just change the names, tweak the backstories ever so slightly, slap on a crappy cover and publish that sucker! It’s technically not plagiarism anymore! This is how you end up with stuff like "The Institute”, a secret school to teach young magic kids to control their powers, or Hodge Starkweather, elderly magic professor, who, one could argue, is a crackpot old fool teaching our protagonists magic tricks. (Gosh, how does Clare come up with this stuff?)

This obviously isn’t proof of any kind, but when the villain of your story is named “Valentine” and he’s an evil magic user who has been dead for sixteen years (the age of our secretly magic protagonist) and the main characters are afraid to even say his name...yeah, it doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out where all of this comes from.

Now all this is frustrating, but it’s also hilarious. I mean, the big bad of the story is called Valentine. VALENTINE. And I actually laughed out loud for several minuted when I first read the name “Hodge Starkweather” to myself. I still get a little chuckle typing this. Oh, and since the word “muggle” would have JK Rowling’s lawyers on her ass faster than light, the word Cassandra Clare uses for non-magic people is...”Mundie”. It’s short for “mundane”. Like...first of all this is objectively hilarious. Second, mundane just means “normal”. If the Shadowhunter society is magical, then aren’t they they mundane ones? I know humans don’t have magic, but we still figured how to like, fly and stuff. That has to count for something. If I saw a dog that taught himself how to read, I wouldn’t like, make fun of him for not also being able to talk. I’d be like “Shit! That’s a pretty impressive fucking dog!” like what the fuck?

Anyway, this is all just a roundabout way to say that obviously this used to be a HP fic that through some twist of fate landed a publishing deal. And you know, it’s not as brain-meltingly bad as 50SoG, so who cares? Cassandra Clare’s just having fun, so who cares if her writing gets published?

Well...

The Plagiarism

So, yeah, she plagiarized lot. Like a lot. The Draco Trilogy has lines of dialogue taken directly from shows like Red Dwarf, Black Adder, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as from Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novels. Quoting shows apparently used to be pretty common in the early days of fanfiction, so there is context to consider here, but it gets worse. Cassandra Clare lifted almost a whole chapter, nearly word for word, from an out-of-print fantasy series called The Hidden Land, by Pamela Dean. On top of that, Clare was sued in 2016 by author Sherrilyn Kenyon, whose Darkhunter series predates Clares Shadowhunters series. (And for the record, Clare’s series was originally titled Darkhunters. Yikes.) You guys can read the full(ish) stories here and here.

I Guess I Have To Keep Talking About The Plot Now

Sigh. So after Hodge Starkweather (A+ naming there) tells them about Valentine, he explains that Shadowhunters are angel-human hybrids? Or something? They’re special, and they fight demons. Also faries, vampires, werewolves, all that stuff exists. We’re stuck with the Shadowhunters, however, because God has punished me for my hubris, and my work is never done. (Oh look, I just plagiarized Brian David Gibert. I’m a real author now, like Cassandra Clare!) The Shadowhunters were started thousands of years ago by a man named, I shit you not, Jonathan Shadowhunter. JONATHAN. FUCKING. SHADOWHUNTER. Why the fuck am I trying to come up with clever names for my characters? I should just name them all “Alex Clarasbook” and call it a fucking day. Fuck.

Anyway after a thrilling conversation with Alec-Who-Has-No-Personality, we find out that he does have a personality! His personality is that he hates humans. Oh, excuse me, “mundies.” Yep, that’s the best way to make a character relatable. Just make ‘em fucking racist. It’s okay though, it’s only magical racism so it evens out. Have I mentioned that this story has no poc?

(Oh also Clary’s mom was a Shadowhunter, but 1. I hate Clary and 2. literally a newborn baby could’ve figured that out, so)

Clary and Jace leave the Institute to go back to Clary’s house, and Clary slaps Jace, an act that brings me such joy that only the birth of my firstborn child will ever eclipse it, and even then, it will be it close tie. The moment is quickly over, however, as Clary immediately feels bad about it, because again, she is not a character. She’s a Walmart mannequin created for Jace to make out with. Then she sees two girls looking at Jace, and, in what can only be called the true essence of the book, “Clary turned instant traitor against her gender.” Just as a reminder, Clary sucks.

Anyway they get to her house, kill a giant, talk to a witch, yaddah yaddah yaddah. Basically nothing happens except the inevitable unraveling of my mental processes. I had to stop reading there because I have better things to do with my life besides destroying the few braincells I have left. I’ll post the next part soon, as soon as I can read more than five pages without wanting to fling the book off a seaside cliff into the frothing mist that obscures the swell and crash of the unforgiving waves. Until then, please enjoy some of my favorite bad lines.

Selected Passages (And Commentary)

“Jace chuckled. Clary could tell that he had come up behind her and was standing there with his hands in his pockets, grinning that infuriating grin of his.” (She knew all that without looking?)

“Attacked. Clary wondered if this was a euphemism for ‘murdered’.” (Clary you’re literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met.)

“Clary let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in.” (This may just be me being petty, but I hate this cliche so much.)

“‘You may be the only guy my age I’ve ever met who knows what bergamot is, much less that it’s in Earl Grey tea.” (Ah yes, that famous stereotype, that boys don’t know about tea. Oh, you like tea? Name three kinds. I hear sexist gatekeeping is a real problem in the tea community. I am not having a good time.)

“Dorothea chuckled. ‘It’s good to see a young woman eat her fill. In my day, girls were robust, strapping creatures, not twigs like they are nowadays.’ ‘Thanks,’ Clary said. She thought of Isabelle’s tiny waist and felt suddenly gigantic.” (Cassandra Clare’s super feminist, guys. You can tell because she’s always pitting her female characters against each other.)

Rating So Far

3/10-Bad. Jonathan Shadowhunter gets an entire 10/10. I’m going to have my name legally changed to Jonathan Shadowhunter.

#Clara Reads City of Bones #city of bones #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #come at me i wanna fight

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whydontwe-fanfics · 7 years

Text

Priorities pt.2 (J.M)

Description: Jack suffers regret and you move on.

Word Count: 2.9k

---

"Y/N?"

You picked your head up from the throw pillow you had been resting on for the past hour and a half. Your tears had dried by now and you felt empty.

"Hey, babe," Mia sighed as she took a seat next to you on the couch. "Haven't seen you in a while."

You lie your head back down and choose to stay silent.

"I think I know why..." Mia continues. "I've been a bad friend lately, and I feel like shit."

Not as much as you do.

"I need to tell you something... I know you have feelings for Jack."

Your body tenses as you feel yourself stiffen. What?

"I've known for a long time, and by your silence, I'm gonna guess that it's true."

You pick your head up and make eye contact with her, slowly sitting up.

"Who told you?" You mumbled.

"Nobody had to tell me. It was obvious. How you'd stare at him when we'd watch a movie or grow uncomfortable when we kissed."

"When did you find out?"

"Before you left for New York," she shook her head as your heart dropped. That must've been over two months ago. Something inside you grew angry, no matter how wrong you were in it all. They weren't dating before you had gone to New York. She had time to put friendship before her relationship, but she didn't.

"You knew and you still went out with him?" You felt hurt most of all.

"I know," Mia covered her face with her hands. "I was being a bitch. He was cute and showed interest in me, so I didn't think anything of your feelings. I guess I thought you'd get over them as quickly as mine would grow. But that wasn't the case... Jack and I haven't really need good lately... or ever. Everything between us is forced and everything I see him, I'm reminded of how much of a bad friend I am."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because Jack loves you."

Love. You'd never expect to feel that emotion the way you wanted Jack to feel about you for so long.

"What?"

"Jack loves you and I've been the only reason he couldn't show you. But I know he does and I know you love him, too."

"What were your intentions of telling me this?"

"Honestly? For you to drive over to the compound and kiss the crap out of him."

"Aren't you two still dating?"

"No. Jack broke up with me," she states.

"If he didn't break up with you, would you be telling me all of this now?"

You had believed that you were the worst friend in the world when this entire time, it's been Mia. All Mia.

She didn't respond because she didn't know what to say and you knew that.

"All this time I thought I was terrible for having feelings for my best friend's boyfriend. How could you do this to me? You didn't even like him that much," you stand up from the couch with betrayal as clear as day on your face.

"Y/N, I'm sorry-"

"Whatever," you scoff before storming out of the living room and into your room, slamming and locking the door.

---

You hadn't spoken to Mia since yesterday and you can't find it in your heart to ever talk to her again.

You had been watching cartoon movies for the past day, eating nothing but croutons and Oreos and drinking the excess water out of random bottles that littered your floor.

You had planned for nothing to be different today until you got a phone call from Jonah.

"Hello?" You murmur into the phone.

"Y/N!" Jonah's soft but joyful voice cheers. "I've missed you."

"We've missed you," Daniel's voice interferes.

"All of us have," Zach adds.

"I've missed you guys, too," you smile into the phone, feeling comfort in hearing the guys' voices. You just hoped Jack wasn't present.

"We haven't seen you in a while and we wanted you to know that even though Jack can be a huge idiot," Daniel tells you.

"Can you come over today?" Jonah asks.

"I don't know-"

"Please? He isn't here, and he'll be out with Corbyn for a while," Daniel mentions.

"I... fine. I'll be over in twenty," you sigh, the result being the three boys on the other end of the phone cheering and hooting ecstatically. A small laugh leaves your lips, something that you haven't done genuinely in a while, although the witty underrated comments in the movies you've been watching have caused a few snorts here and there.

You hang up on the boys not too long after that and hop into the shower. You then put on a new shirt that you've just recently bought and some camouflage jeans. It didn't take you long to do your hair and after slipping on a pair of shoes, you left your room and headed out. You paused once you saw Mia with about four cardboard boxes taking up space in the living room.

"What's going on?"

"My dad's making me move back home," she huffs, staring down at her shoes. You bite your bottom lip, having mixed feelings about the new news.

"Why?"

"I've been ignoring my studies and slacking off and he knows, so I'm going back to Queens so I can go to a community college."

"Oh... will you come back?"

"I don't think so. It was hard convincing my dad to let me come in the first place and now he's mad at me, so..."

You didn't know what to say. Mia's been your friend for years and you two had planned on living with each other since you both were in Velcro sneakers and pigtails. But ever since she's moved in, you two have barely gotten along and your relationship drifted enormously. Maybe her moving back to New York would be good for the both of you.

Of course, you still didn't forgive her, but with time you will.

"When are you leaving?"

"Friday." It was Wednesday.

---

The conversation had been very awkward between you and Mia, but you two talked a bit and she knows that you were still on hot rocks with her, but your friendship would never fully disperse.

With time, you arrived at the boys' house and walked right in and you noticed the door was unlocked.

You walked in to see Zach and Daniel dancing with pizzas in their hands while Jonah recorded them, laughing so hard he'd bend over and hold his stomach to catch his breath.

"You guys never fail to amuse me," you shake your head, bringing their attention to you instantly. Grins ignite around the room like happiness was contagious, which was the case.

"Y/N!" They all jumped and ran to you, conjoining into a group hug.

"Hi, guys," you smile. "Nothing's changed since the last time I've been here," you note.

"Not a thing," Daniel snapped his fingers.

"Had a feeling," you did a quick raise of your eyebrows before setting your bag on the couch and plopping down onto it. "So what are we doing?"

"I wanted to watch a movie," Zach threw himself down beside you, reaching forward and swiping the remote off of the coffee table.

"Make it a horror," Jonah sits on the other side of you.

"I hate horror," Zach whined, looking over at Jonah.

"I could go for something scary," Daniel adds as he takes a seat on the other side of Zach. Everybody suddenly turned to you.

"It's up to you, Y/N," Jonah said.

"Sorry, Zach," you send him a pout and he groans, shutting his eyes and leaning back into the couch, dropping the remote control into your lap.

The four of you end up watching The Conjuring 2. You were the screamer as the rest of the boys just hissed curses whenever a scary scene played.

By the time the movie was over, you were staring wide-eyed at the television, your heart calming from all of the jump-scares.

"It wasn't even that scary," Jonah says from beside you.

"Jonah, you nearly pissed yourself during the wall painting scene," you narrowed your eyes at him while Zach and Daniel back you up.

"I mean, who wouldn't?" Jonah threw his arms in the direction of the television that was now showing the end credits.

A mix of a chuckle and scoff leave your lips as Daniel asks what you guys should watch next.

"SpongeBob," you quickly suggested. "At least one episode. I gotta get over that demon crap."

"One episode," Daniel points at you before putting on SpongeBob.

"Do you guys have any candy?" You ask, sliding off the couch and onto your feet.

"Check the pantry," Zach says, his attention kept on the cartoon.

You push your lips to the side, making your way to the kitchen and going straight for the fruit snacks in the pantry.

"Get me one, too," Jonah's voice causes a small yelp to leave your mouth.

"Jonah!" You breathe, spinning to see him. "We just watched that conjuring movie, don't scare me like that."

"Sorry, sorry," he chuckles, putting his hands in the air defensively.

You turn back and grab three of the fruit snacks, two for yourself and one for Jonah.

"I heard you guys have a new song coming out soon," you mention, pulling yourself up onto one of the counters before ripping a packet open.

"Yup, coming out in a week," he says, walking your way and leaning against the counter beside yours. "What have you been up to, lately?"

"Just a cycle of school, movies, food, sleep and sulking," you hum, placing two of the gummies in your mouth.

"I'm gonna take a guess on why you were sulking," he frowns. You glance at him quickly, a small exhale leaving your nose.

"Yep..."

"If it makes you feel any better, he's been in his room a lot lately, thinking about you," Jonah says.

"It doesn't, for some reason," you shrug. "But thanks for the attempt."

"You ever gonna get over him?" Jonah raises a single eyebrow.

"Yeah," you nod. "Took me a while, but I realized I spent all this time wanting a boy who'd be no good for me, anyway."

"So how long would you say before you're ready to start dating anyone?" Jonah pushes.

"I mean, it's not like I just went through a breakup. Not long, I guess," you shrug.

"Yeah, but, like, how long? A few weeks?"

"Maybe a week or two," you narrow your eyes at him. "Why?"

"I just wanted to know. I might know someone."

---

"Mia moved out today," you told Jonah as you sat on his bed, scrolling through his playlist on his laptop.

"You're okay with that?" He asked, leaning against the bed headboard right beside you.

"Yeah. I feel like we're better friends when we aren't with each other all of the time," you turn to him as he nods at you with acknowledgment. "But now I've gotta look for a new roommate."

"Why don't you just live alone?" Jonah suggested.

"I thought about that, but I don't like living alone. I'm too paranoid for it," you turned back to his laptop.

"You lived alone when we first met," he said.

"That was before I started watching America Horror Story."

"So you need a roommate because you're too scared to live alone because of some show?" Jonah furrowed his eyebrows as his hands messily braided the ends of your hair.

"Yup," you hum.

"Here's an idea. Stop watching American Horror Story."

"I can't. I'm too deep in to stop now," you sighed dramatically.

"You make no sense, Y/N," Jonah chuckles, shaking his head.

"I try," you smile at him before going back to his playlist and playing one of the songs you liked.

You and Jonah both glanced up when you two saw a figure pass by the door before walking backward and into view again.

It was Jack.

You instantly looked back down at Jonah's laptop as Jonah greeted his bandmate.

"Jack," Jonah nodded.

"Jonah," Jack's nearly foreign voice replies. "Y/N... wh-what are you doing here?"

"She's hanging with me," Jonah answered for you, thankfully. You were as close as ever to officially getting over Jack and all you needed was just a little more time to not see him. After that, you were sure that even kissing him wouldn't bring back the feelings you've harbored for him for so long.

"Oh," Jack mumbles. "I-I haven't seen you in a bit."

"Yeah, I've been busy," you respond, glancing up at him quickly. Jack looks between you and Jonah, feeling his insides ache at the scene. He remembers when you used to hang out with him more than anyone else. But it was like you two didn't even know each other anymore.

Jack opened his mouth just as the doorbell rang.

"Is that the pizza?" You ask Jonah.

"Yeah, I'll go-"

"No, I got it," you gave him a tight smile and rushed out of the room, pass Jack and down the stairs to the front door.

"You and Y/N sure are the best of friends," Jack bitterly commented.

Jonah rose his eyebrows, amused at the obvious jealousy seeping from Jack. "I guess you could say that."

Jack clenched his jaw before walking off, heading downstairs where you hand the boys one out of two pizza boxes and then go upstairs with the other one. He watched how you hadn't spared him a single glance and could feel the anger from within. Anger at himself and anger at Jonah.

---

You were officially over Jack Robert Avery.

Actually, you've been over him for the past month.

And Jack knew that.

Not only have you gotten over your feelings for him, but you have grown feelings for another band member.

And Jack knew that.

He'd watch as you would hug Jonah longer than usual. He'd see the glances you and Jonah make towards each other when one wasn't looking. He caught the blush on Jonah's cheeks whenever you kissed him on the cheek for being a 'gentlemen' or just in general 'kind'.

Jack sat through it all.

Though, what was most ironic about it was that he was going through what you had been going through for the past few months.

Just like he had fallen for your friend, you were now falling for his and he couldn't do anything about it. Why? Because the ball was in his court for the longest of time and he never took the shot. He missed out on you and now every time his eyes would land on you and Jonah together, he would regret it.

As your feelings for Jonah grew, Jack's feelings for you remained the exact same.

And Jack knew he stood absolutely no chance with you after he had gone and chosen Mia over you.

But nothing was stopping you and Jonah.

"Is yours as good as they said?" Jonah asked as the two of you walked down the streets of L.A, street food being held in both your hands. Jonah had been craving it, so you two headed to the food trucks and got food you both knew would cause some sort of sickness the next morning.

"Way better," you nearly moaned, showing your love for the nachos covered in everything but the kitchen sink.

"I'll never underestimate your love for nachos," Jonah grinned as you closed the packaging and put it in the bag, saving the rest for when you both got back to your apartment.

"I'm glad you know," you smile, wiping the corner of your lips.

Later that night, the two of you sat on your couch filling your stomachs up with greasy food and soda while a Harry Potter marathon played on the television.

"You know, you don't look so bad with glasses," you randomly let Jonah know, cocking your head to the side while Jonah blushes, although the room wasn't bright enough for you to notice.

"Thanks," he chuckles.

"No, I'm serious. You should wear them more. You look like Harry, but hotter," you had let the words slip from your tongue before even realizing what was being said.

"Wow, I look hot?" Jonah rose a single eyebrow.

"Well, I mean, I can't lie to you," you roll your eyes with a smile just before you got up and headed to your room, returning with a pen.

"What's that for?" Jonah asked as you sat down so close to him, you were nearly on his lap.

You didn't say anything, just leaned up and brushed the hair away from his forehead and drew the all familiar HP birthmark.

"Oh gosh," Jonah groaned, stifling a chuckle.

"Now you're a legit Potterhead," you hummed, capping the pen and looking at him with a small toothless smile.

"I've been a Potterhead all my life," Jonah contributed.

"So have I," you replied.

"Oh really?" Jonah huffed, taking the pen from you and brushing hair out of your face. He draws a lightning birthmark not too far above your right eyebrow.

"How original."

"You started it," he pointed out.

"Very true," you nodded, pulling your phone out of your pocket and going onto Snapchat. You quickly snapped a picture of Jonah with your hand holding his hair up and wrote 'my masterpiece' before posting it. "You know, I-"

You didn't know what boosted his confidence in doing so, but before you could finish your sentence, his lips were on yours.

Your eyes widen for a mere second as you grew tense before you begin kissing back, closing your eyes and leaning more into him.

His right hand cupped your left jaw, bringing you closer as the kiss intensifies within every passing second. Your heads tilted to either side when he softly nips at your bottom lip, wanting you to give him more access, which is exactly what you do.

A shiver runs down your spine when his tongue meets yours and intertwines the two.

Then comes the time where you pull away to take in a breath, slight pants leaving his and your mouths. Your eyes don't divert from his and vice versa.

"I wish I did this months ago," he admits, trying to figure out what you were feeling.

"I wish you did, too," you mumble, placing your lips on his for another few seconds and pulling back with a small smile on your face. "I should've paid more attention to you instead of devoting all of my time on Jack."

"I can't argue with that," Jonah brushes his nose against yours.

You can't help but go along with the giddy feeling in your gut and plant your lips back on his, as you both felt completely happy there in each other's arms.

---

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/29-funniest-novelty-gifts-this-year/

29 funniest novelty gifts this year

Get the latest from TODAY

Nov. 21, 2018 / 6:59 PM GMT/ Source: TODAY

By Aline Peres Martins

Some people are hard to shop for. Some people have very specific tastes. And others simply prefer their gifts on the, um, humorous side. This novelty gift guide is for all those people.

From the only “Harry Potter” gift a Potterhead needs to the one gift to get people who are perpetually late (we all have that friend), this list has all the funny, witty and unique gifts we could think of.

The internet is a vast place, with many, many weird and wonderful gift ideas. So, while this guide is a great place to start, if you’re looking for something maybe a little less eccentric, browse through our sortable gift guides or our brand new gift finding tool too.

Happy gifting, everyone!

When we release our 2018 gift guides, we make sure all prices are current. But, prices change frequently (yay, deals!), so there’s a chance the prices are now different than they were the day of publication.

Funny Gifts

For the champion of sarcasm

1. I Love Shoplifting Tote, $28, Human

TODAY editors, writers and experts take care to recommend items we really like and hope you’ll enjoy! Just so you know, TODAY does have affiliate relationships. So, while every product is independently selected, if you buy something through our links, we may get a small share of the revenue.

Not only should the person you get this for have a sarcastic sense of humor, they should also not mind getting stared (and maybe glared) at from time to time. This hilarious take on a tote bag is bound to get some laughs from any shopping-obsessed loved ones who don’t take themselves too seriously.

For the witty green thumb

2. The Golden Girls Chia Pet: Sophia, $20, Amazon

Everyone knows a Sophia. Her feisty, quick wit has withstood the test of time. Any true “Golden Girls” fan can recall a savage zinger or two from the matriarch of the clan … which Dorothy did not appreciate as much as we did.

If chia pets seem like a step in the right direction for the novelty gift you need, but “Golden Girls” isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, we found a few more great options:

Bob Ross, painter extraordinaire and the original ASMR king

Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States

Laughing Emoji, the indisputable queen of emojis

There’s apparently a chia pet for everyone!

For the one who is never on time

3. Whatever I’m Late Wall Clock, $16, Amazon

We all have a friend or family member who shows up an hour late to everything. In my friend group, that’s me. If your always-tardy friend happens to have a sense of humor, get this clock.

For the “cool” bookworm

4. I Put The Lit In Literature Mug, $14, Amazon

Your favorite bookworm probably already owns most of the books they plan on reading, or they just use a Kindle. Instead, get them the best mug ever to drink a tea or coffee by the fire as they curl up with their next epic novel.

For the influencer

5. “Read This If You Want To Be Instagram Famous” by Henry Carroll, $11, Amazon

Is it just me, or does it seem like every teenager nowadays wants to become an influencer? Though the title of this book is funny, it features some useful tips on how to build a personal brand for anyone looking to really become Instagram famous.

Gag Gifts

For the “Samantha” of your friend group

1. Grow a Boyfriend, $4 (usually $10), Amazon

Know someone who is tired of people asking, “So, when will you bring a boyfriend around for the holidays?” Get this. Some people, like Samantha from “Sex and the City” live the single life and have no problem with it. Samantha is known for saying, “I love you, but I love me more.” If your single friend can relate, they need this prop.

For the soccer mom

2. Big Head Cardboard Cutout, $20, Amazon

The perfect gift for parents who are completely obsessed with their little league stars, you can get a cardboard cutout of anyone’s face on Amazon. Putting one of these under the tree is guaranteed to draw out some laughs during holiday festivities.

For anyone who can’t live without Joe

My mom got my aunt these socks last Christmas because every morning, instead of making her own coffee, she asks if someone else is already on coffee duty. Sound familiar?

For the Star Warrior

4. “Star Wars” Waffle Maker, $40, Amazon

“Star Wars” fans probably already own the movies, light sabers and tons of fan gear. You know what they probably don’t have? A waffle maker.

Quirky Gifts

For the one who can’t seem to find their keys

I’m going to be completely honest with everyone reading this list: I am this person. I have locked myself out of my home on more than 10 occasions in my lifetime … and more than twice in the past month. While a welcome mat may seem like an unusual gift for most circumstances, this is the novelty gift I need to receive this year. Hey, Mom, are you reading this?

For the one who doesn’t actually appreciate novelty gifts

Always popular, these sentimental candles hit home for anyone who has transplanted from one state to another. This is an especially cute gift for folks from places like North Carolina, the land of the pines, or Vermont — known for maple syrup.

I’m from New Jersey, so I looked up what my state’s candle is meant to smell like. Surprisingly, it’s not highway congestion … it’s candy apples. I guess it’s true that we have lots of those, too.

For the entrepreneur

7. Ban.do I Am Very Busy Planner, $18, Amazon

There are people who always seem to be frazzled, running from one thing to the next. Some of them are actually busy and some of them just think they are. This planner works for both groups of people.

For the family man (or woman)

Say it with me: Most personalized mugs are tacky. These are not. Each little character reflects the personality of one family member with a slightly perplexed expression. The back of the mug has a little logo with the family’s last name. The mugs are unique, hip and cool. They’re like if the “world’s greatest dad” mugs got a facelift for 2018.

For “the city” dweller

Have you ever heard someone proudly proclaim they are from “the city” without specifying what city that actually is? They would love this.

For the brunch babe

10. Wake Me For Champagne Velvet Pillow, $50, Nordstrom

Some people abide by wine Wednesdays. Other people start their mornings with mimosas. Brunch, anyone?

For the “Rachel” of your group

11. “Friends” Central Perk Mug, $20, NBC Store

Help your favorite “Friends” fan embody their inner Rachel by serving coffee (to you) in one of these. Nothing says “I’ll be there for you,” like caffeine. Central Perk me up!

For the one who calls their dog their “child”

12. Customized Pet Pillow, $40, Etsy

Pet owners can never own enough homages to their little fur babies.

For the grown up Potterhead

13. Espresso Patronum Mug, $12, Amazon

Goodbye to faux wands, hello to punny mugs. For the uninitiated, “Expecto Patronum” is the spell Harry Potter uses to fight bad guys. “Espresso Patronum,” is the spell adult “Harry Potter” fans use to get through a work day.

Weird Gifts

For the long lost Kardashian

1. Kris Jenner 10% Unisex Sweatshirt, $22, Etsy

The Kardashians have become almost akin to American royalty, and pretty much everyone recognizes the last name. Needless to say, folks who have been following the family since 2007 are probably obsessed enough to wear a sweater featuring a caricature of Kris Jenner. I have not been following the Kardashians since 2007, and even I would wear it. Kris is a cultural icon.

For the millennial

Did you hear that millennials aren’t buying houses because they eat too much avocado toast? Whether or not that’s true, at least this avocado doubles as a heating pad.

For the Gaines’ of Thrones

3. “Game Of Thrones” Dragon Egg Candles, $25, Amazon

The subset of people who love both Joanna Gaines and “Game of Thrones” may be small … but those folks win my stamp of approval. Throners who also like to keep a well-decorated home need these candles.

For the Bey Hive

“I got hot sauce in my bag. Swag.” The iconic Beyonce line propelled hot sauce to a new level of pop culture appreciation. Now, any Beyonce fan can carry mini hot sauce on a keychain. So, they really will always have hot sauce in their bag. Swag.

Note: This also works for anyone who puts hot sauce on everything.

For the dog lover who is always cold

Know a dog lover who likes to keep their feet warm? These heated slippers look like adorable little corgis. Have you seen anything more perfect?

Unusual Gifts

For the one who’s always running on Dunkin’

1. Babycakes Mini Donut Maker, $14, Amazon

It’s cute, and it makes doughnuts. What more could anyone need?

For the vodka lover with a sweet tooth

2. Vodka Is Always A Good Idea Candy Bento Box, $28, Nordstrom

A nice bottle of vodka is always a good gift for the home bartender. But, a bento box full of vodka-infused candy is the perfect gift for those who believe in vodka-o-clock.

For the treasure hunter

The uncle who spends his weekends strolling down the beach looking for treasure, the teenager who is always asking Mom and Dad for money to go to the movies and the 6-year-old just starting a piggy bank to learn the basics of personal finance — they all have one thing in common. They could use this pocket metal detector.

For the pizza rat

Christmas pajamas are cute and all, but for pizza lovers, there’s nothing cuter than a comfy pair of joggers featuring cheesy goodness.

For the Christmas-loving cat person

5. Meowy Catmas Sweater, $18, Walmart

If you don’t know someone who is obsessed with their own cat, you probably know someone who is obsessed with cat memes or cat videos.

For the environmentalist “Office” fan

6. “The Office” Humans Are Terrible For the Environment Tote, $15, NBC Store

Dwight created a special place in most “The Office” fans’ hearts. This tote bag is perfect for wannabe Dunder Mifflin employees and environmentalists alike!

Finding the perfect present can be a challenge, but Shop TODAY’sup to the task. No matter who you’re looking for, we’ve got gift guides for everyone on your list, including:

To discover more deals, shopping tips and budget-friendly product recommendations, subscribe to our Stuff We Love newsletter!

Source: https://www.today.com/home/29-funniest-novelty-gifts-year-t142780

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