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secretquaggan · 2 years

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The Commander

So I haven’t been able to do GW2 things for awhile (RIP to my desktop), but! I’m slowly getting back into the ability to do game things - and, to revive this blog, I thought it would be fun to do an ask meme (though I’m filling it out more as an introduction/bio!) Credit goes to @moonlit-grove! This “ask thing” is for Vivian Kimura-Mori, my Commander (see my character page for her bio, if you’re interested!)

1. A verse or so of lyrics that just gives me vibes for them and why:

'Cause I've been a devil, I've been a saint Somebody help me, I can't change I keep on (runnin' toward, runnin' toward the fire) I keep on (runnin' toward, runnin' toward the fire) Oh, I let my lover go, didn't wanna be a liar Ashes in the cold, now I'm running toward the fire

I love this lyric from Bishop Briggs’ The Fire for Vivian, because she’s very much defined by her sense of personal duty/obligation towards Tyria and the peoples who call it home; in part due to her early education as a noblewoman by her grandfather, who taught her that noble birth is a responsibility to everyone who relies on you, and in part to her own inherent martyr/savior complex. Although she’s a loving wife and mother, she cuts considerations to her husband and child out of her decision-making when it comes to her roles as both the Pact Commander, and the leader of Dragon Watch. I’m not saying she’d set herself on fire to keep Tyria warm; but if she’s immolating the most recent threat to do so and she’s standing a little too close, well. Shit happens.

2. A piece of music without lyrics that could be their background music:

So I don’t usually lean into instrumental music for my characters, and I found this a little tricky. I think Hidden Citizens’ cover of Moonlight Sonata would be a good action/overview/trailer song for Vivian as a character? But I would maybe suggest something more like Vitamin String Quartet’s cover of Bad Habits might be a good song for her as a person at-rest or in downtime.

3. Where they would most likely want to settle down:

As a member of a noble family, Vivian has access to both the family holdings in Divinity’s Reach, as well as the country estate just outside Claypool (where she spent most of her childhood.) She considers Claypool to be her “hometown,” but her own daughter currently resides in Beetletun under the guardianship of her godfather, Lord Faren. Vivian herself maintains rooms in various capital cities across Tyria, where she occasionally crosses paths with her husband. Mostly, she travels alone, or with her companion, Jaya.

4. What their dream home would be.

Kind of related to the question above, I don’t think Vivian really has a concept of settling down, or a “dream home”; the Pact is her life’s work, and although it has less urgency with the conclusion (?) of the cycle of elder dragons, she’s spent far too much of her life living in the present to do too much personal daydreaming about the future.

5. General opinion of Nobility

As a member of nobility herself, Vivian has some strong opinions. She believes that the function of a ruling class is to serve the common people who look to their rulers for leadership. She is a supporter of Queen Jennah, but something of an uncomfortable dinner guest; Vivian can be rather scathing about what her peers get up to with the education and free time their wealth affords them, and about how they manage their resources to assist the common man in times of need and crisis, as well as in times of peace.

6. Their relationship to Aurene:

Although she’s not the best mother, Vivian is quite maternal; she considers Taimi and Aurene to be her daughters, just as much as she does her own biological child. She worries about what will become of Aurene in the future, and works hard to ensure that the young dragon develops a healthy love and respect for all life in Tyria - as well as ensuring that individuals around the dragon develop an equal respect for her.

7. Thoughts on the Soundless:

Due to not being Sylvari herself, Vivian largely considers the Soundless to be a situation it is not her place to speak on with regards to their treatment and existence. However, she’s empathetic to their desire for freedom, having loved and married a Sylvari whose path takes him as far from such constraints as possible without breaking them entirely.

8. Do they believe in destiny or fate:

No. Vivian very much believes in a person’s ability to shape and forge their own future. Her choices and willingness to do the work have brought her to the place of being Pact Commander, Champion of Aurene, and leader of Dragon Watch; her fortune at birth afforded her education and opportunities that others lack. She considers that luck, more than some kind of irrevocable destiny or fate.

9a. How does Vivian greet Bohai (her husband) after a long time apart?:

Vivian is not what anyone would consider a particularly romantic individual; even around her husband of several years. Although she’s always privately quite relieved when their paths cross, or when he turns up from one of his bouts of wandering, she rarely expresses this externally. Usually there’s sharp questioning about where he’s been, what he’s been up to, and whether he’s managed to come back to her in one piece. Occasionally they fight. (They usually, but not always, manage to make up.) Despite the very deep love and affection the two have for one another, they’re not particularly demonstrative people and their lives and work take them in frequently opposite directions; so their reunions are fairly....unique.

9b. How do they greet their closest friends?:

It does very much depend on the friends; Jaya is usually greeted with a drink and a long talk about what they’ve been up to while apart. It’s a quiet warmth, and perhaps more intimate for it? Faren gets a bear-hug, a shoulder shake, and a very stern series of questions about what he’s been up to (in a very different tone,) and out-loud wondering why she chose him for her child’s guardian. Kasmeer, it’s a total sleep-over, complete with girlish giggling that Vivian would die before letting anyone else see! With other close friends, she’s friendly but a bit distant, as per usual.

10. Do they have any weird nicknames?:

Absolutely not. If she does, they’re not spoken where she can hear them. If her husband has any endearments they’re not spoken where anyone else can hear them. She does go by Commander, or Lady Kimura-Mori, in mixed company. She’s comfortably just Viv with her friends and companions. She is otherwise not a woman who invites weird or funny or joking nicknames.

11. A song that punches me with inexplicable vibes for them:

Okay, so it’s not inexplicable, necessarily. But Sam Tinnesz’s Far From Home always punches me with the softest Vivian feelings; particularly towards her husband, daughter, and best friends. It’s that like tiny kernel of yearning for perhaps the life she might have had if it weren’t for [gestures to everything], that flicker of doubt that she’d never express of maybe not being enough to handle the problems that come her way.

12. Thoughts on Largos:

Honestly, Vivian respects the shit out of it. She’s pretty honor-bound herself, and she can get behind the kind of grind Largos put into their work. If she gets to meet them without being a target, I think they probably vibe. If she gets in one’s crosshairs, I think it’s big ‘I hate to kill such a masterpiece’ energy.

13. Thoughts on the dragon cycle?:

I’m not sure Vivian spends a lot of time thinking about it? She’s not remotely academic as some of her companions (though she is quite well-read and educated!) I think there’s some relief about the cycle ending, some anxiety about what comes next, and maybe a sliver of fear that maybe she’s actually irreparably broken the world and the wheels are about to come off the cart and pitch them all into something horribly unknown. (It’s fine. It’s the PTSD, probably.)

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #Vivian Kimura-Mori #The Commander #OCs #moonlit-grove #thanks for reading that whole big-ass long thing #if you #lmao I've been playing Vivian for almost ten years #so I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about her

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keefwho · 5 months

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December 13 - 2023 Wednesday

10:37pm

This morning I made a sausage egg and cheese sandwich with rice. I was afraid of undercooking the eggs but I remembered just how little some people cook theirs and determined mine must have been fine as always. I started work a little late. I did a couple sketches for pics I want to do soon. I started the next commission but needed information so I had to stop and switch to personal stuff. I got a macaroni pic off my desktop. After stream I went out and chopped wood. I chopped the last of what was there and tried to see how well my survival hand chainsaw worked on longer logs my step dad bought. I knew it wouldn't be economical to cut logs like that but I could barely saw 1 off before my arms went totally limp. Next week I will learn how to operate the chainsaw so I can cut them. When I came in I planned to clean but I had little time so I showered instead. I really gotta clean my toilet and shower so maybe tomorrow I'll shake up my schedule and clean before my morning shower. For lunch I made beef stew. I watched Forsen and XQC before afternoon work. During work I had to draw an OC I absolutely HATE and it took longer than usual. I had XQC playing in the background and it was a bit distracting but I didn't wanna turn it off. Then I worked on a pic of the mane 5 and Kumatora. After work I set Starfield up and played for a little bit and had fun. Daisy started up Just Dance so I joined her but it was cut short by her game crashing. Then we chilled while she crocheted and I got Unity set up for my upcoming avatar work. We watched a little She Ra too and she discussed some of her recent stresses with me. When she went to bed I played Neopets and cured the swamp people of their swamp disease.

Today I felt detached from myself. I struggled in the afternoon finding purpose behind my art. In general I was disconnected from everything I was doing. Maybe because of the diligent routine I've naturally found myself in lately. I have to put in effort to break it. The good thing is I have more to talk to my therapist about tomorrow since I've been narrowing down some things I think are important for me to address.

#journal #diary #disconnected #starfield #streams #bad ocs

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leviiackrman · 1 year

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Do you have any advice on figuring out photoshop and templates? I’m new to all of this and I’m really struggling :(((((

Oh gosh I’m so sorry anon, life’s been so chaotic that I completely forgot about your ask! But I am here now to help :)

I will say off the bat that I’m v much a trial and error kinda gal/look things up on YouTube lmao so I’m self taught in pretty much everything I know with photoshop (aside from a few helpful tips while at uni) so I’ll try and list some things that I find quick and easy to use when editing:

Templates in general tend to come pretty organised with layers names etc so it’s easier to navigate, but I also always recommend NAMING YOUR LAYERS!!! It saves SO much time and even grouping them into relevant sections (groups) can really help navigate the layers panel (especially when you get to 200+ layers like me lmao)

I always edit the resolution of my documents when creating them to be at least 100px (pixels) because then the final design is higher quality! That being said; that’ll depend on your computers RAM capacity and how much of it is used by photoshop - my desktop has A LOT of RAM cus it was custom built, but laptops etc have a lot less (otherwise it’ll make the app glitch and crash essentially)

I use the magic wand tool religiously lmao - it may not be the most perfect outline but if I’m gonna edit the image more afterwards, just getting the background out the way first helps a lot! (Using the layer effect drop down will also give you options of ‘multiply’, ‘screen’ and ‘overlay’ plus a bunch more to add effects to your layers, but a quick way of removing a white bg from a layer is to use ‘screen’ and it’ll auto remove it! Careful tho cus sometimes it removes TOO MUCH of the image aha)

If that tool doesn’t work for you then the ‘colour select’ option in one of the drop downs will do the same thing but will select every bit of colour on the document that you select - ie if you click on the white background, it’ll also pick up every other bit of white on the document so keep that in mind (I apologise that I’m not more specific, I’m writing this on my phone and haven’t got photoshop open)

For text layers, I ALWAYS turn off the ‘hyphenate’ tick box in the text box settings! Hyphenate is more for professional documentation/printed work, so for template edits and personal use I always turn it off cus it makes it look weird imo (the text box settings will open up on the right when you click on your text, so just scroll down a little until you get to the paragraph settings and there’ll be a little ‘…’ to show more options and it’ll be in there!)

CLIPPING MASKS ARE A LIFE SAVER!! On your layers panel, if you have a shape drawn out (ie a square for example) and you add an image/colour layer/literally any kind of layer on top and move the mouse to the line between the 2 layers and click ALT, it’ll add the clipping mask so the layer on top is only visible within the shape underneath! Works for filter layers as well as images in general etc PLUS they stack!

For templates specifically it’s a lot of fiddling until things sit nicely with one another for me, but one thing I use often is PSD filter packs that you can download! Lots are on tumblr and deviantart etc but you should always credit who you use, unless you make them yourself! They help tie a design together so all the colours match!

I also like using the ‘blending mode’ options on the layers panel. So when you right click a layer - it’ll give you the ‘blending mode’ option at the top and that allows you to add shadows/gradients/texture and a bunch of other stuff to that specific layer!! Including ‘stroke’ outlines around the edge of your layer!

I ALWAYS save my PSD files separate to the final product in case I wanna edit them, and I will export any final designs as an image!! For highest quality in your exports use PNGs!! JPEGs reduce the quality SO much so always go with PNGs but if you don’t want a transparent background, make sure you untick ‘transparent’ in the export window!

There’s plenty more tools to use on photoshop, but I recommend just creating a blank document, adding a bit of text and an image and just playing around with it!! You’ll discover so many new ways of doing things and ways that suit you!

If you ever want more specific advice for something then pls ask! I have 8+ years of experience and a graphic design degree so I like to think I know some things haha!

I hope that helps🤍

#misc: asks #misc: anonymous #I’m sorry I couldn’t be more specific!#I’ll probably think of a bunch more tips down the line so I’ll reblog this if I do #for now that’s a good start

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fyeahnix · 2 years

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When the Steam Deck was first announced, I thought it was kind of irrelevant for me and my needs so I didn't preorder one. I'm kinda glad I didn't. Taking that time to hear about what it's capable of, what it plays, etc got me to eventually start researching what I could do with it. I just realized eventually that with all the game I could play with it, I could use it as a way to knock some games out of my backlog when I don't wanna play my usual games at my desktop. And apparently Valve has fixed some minor issues with the unit since the first iterations of it first launched.

I've only had it for a week and have really only played Vampire Survivors on it (which is fucking FUN as a game and takes very little of an attention span so I can listen to shit in the background). I wanna play more stuff on it but I have to get past the analysis paralysis I tend to have with too many options lol.

Emulation has been the absolute easiest it's ever been in my entire life. EmuDeck makes everything extremely easy to set up. All I have to do is find roms and bios and drag them into the correct folder and that's it. I tried out Pokemon White and Final Fantasy Tactics and they run flawlessly. Man like I used to fuck with roms a lot in college. A LOT. And it was always a pain trying to install the emulator and then find the fucking roms scattered across the internet, and then find a bios file, and then fuck around with the settings, etc etc. This is SO EASY.

So yeah. So far I am capable of playing: Steam, GOG, Epic, Xbox Cloud Gaming, and emulators. I'm going to try and add my Amazon games library and probably Origin as well.

#steam deck #personal

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sigynpenniman · 2 years

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I feel like I have made an opera GX post before but I’m going to make ANOTHER Opera GX post because I really. I really need to turn you all

Some of you may not even know what opera IS in this context so anyway

So there’s a web browser called opera which used to be more popular than it is but STILL used to have a way bigger market share than it does now. It’s basically a forgotten thing and if you mention opera to someone they’re likely to say wait, that still exists?

But Opera launched a spinoff. A “gaming” browser. Which sounds silly, I admit, but this thing. This thing is a gift from the heavens. A blessing from god above. I did not think I could be evangelical about a browser. So let me tell you of opera GX. Opera GX has:

- Native dark mode with the ability to force dark pages

- Bookmark sync, password saving, and all the other stuff you love and need from Chrome

- The ability to install all of your chrome extensions

- fancy power limiters that allows you to control how much processing power and ram it’s allowed (no more of those jokes about chrome consuming all the ram on your device)

- deeply satisfying (but disable-able, if you desire) types typey noises it plays when you type anywhere in the browser and honestly a ton of just. Lovely little sounds

- workspaces that allow you to have essentially two different windows open at once but within the same instance and you can go back and forth between them

- a dev option (accessible under opera://flags/ in your address bar) to enable entire new PROFILES for the whole browser that act like entirely separate installations of the browser with their own sync, settings etc, so you can like…make a profile with no distractions. Or maximum distractions.

more importantly, Opera GX seems to be on a mission to simply incorporate EVERY WEBSITE and EVERY TOOL you’ve ever needed into the BROWSER ITSELF (I’m gonna use some of their promo pics because I shut down my desktop and I’m too lazy to take my own). OPERA GX HAS, BUILT IN:

- Pinboards! That you can share with others! Fuck Pinterest this is my baby now

- “Flow” which allows you to link a phone with a QR code and send links to yourself

- a FULL SCREENSHOT TOOL that will capture either full window or region screenshots and immediately gives you options to copy or save and mark up, as well as censor/blur any info beforehand

- and most importantly, this nifty thing called the “sidebar” that holds a shit ton of useful widgets and allows you to pop them over your main window briefly and close them again when you click off of them. And my beloveds. Everything you have ever wanted. Is accessible from the sidebar.

(This screenshot is out of date, there’s way more stuff now)

- you want discord? It’s in the sidebar. You want messenger? It’s in the sidebar? Whatsapp? VK? Telegram? In the sidebar

- they just added MUSIC PLAYERS to the sidebar. YouTube music, deezer, apple music, Spotify, and SoundCloud can all be accessed from their own special tab in the sidebar

- If you go down into the super secret hidden dev menu (which you can get to by typing opera://flags/ into your address bar) you can enable CUSTOM SITES in the sidebar. You want tumblr in the sidebar? Full YouTube? Mega? Crunchy roll? You want it you can have it

basically that suite of default tabs you run in the background all of the time while you function during the day? Spotify, YouTube, tumblr, google docs, whatever? It’s all just PART OF YOUR BROWSER here. Wanna get work done and dip in and out of a discord chat? You can do that.

anyway I know it’s funny to be evangelical about a browser but this thing changed my life and I. I want to spread the good word. Come to the opera GX side we have fun noises and integrated native discord.

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nervousllikeme · 4 years

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instead of buying a drawing tablet like i wanted so i could make this visual novel in my brain before i die i decided instead to buy a refurbished netbook for the same amount of money i was planning to spend because i really just want to lay down and be on the internet and not uncomfortable while being on my desktop and i don’t fucking like tablets so there you go

#tbh i don't think i'm going to do much...drawing #i'm not good at traditional drawing stuff and at this point i just don't want to put myself through that ringer #anyway i really just wanna lay down and read fanfic and also have like defunctland videos on in the background as i'm gearing up for a nap #and not crane my neck towards my desktop set up which hasn't been helping with pain stuff #yeah i'm a fucking idiot and have my computer next to my bed i'm a fucking addict e #or rather i just don't have a chair or desk and only my bed and it's been like that for a while now #but even when i did have a desk and chair when i was 17 i still fucking slept in the chair at my desk #and i have a cyst in my ass crack from that year and a half-two year period where i slept sitting in a chair #all i do is multitask and die at a computer and wonder why i have constant neck pain and migraines

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ut-poppy-askblog · 3 years

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Welcome, potential reader, to the FAQ post! This post was made for the purposes of making the FAQ more easily accessible to mobile and desktop users alike.

Who are the people behind it?

@fmsdraws - Poppy Creator. Main writer, Artist, and Composer.

@dokudoki - CORE!Frisk, Mr Asgore, and Omega Timeline Creator. Writing assistant.

@lolika-0777 - Monarch Chara, Undercore Frisk and Ucans creator. Writing assistant.

@g0at0ad - Cadence's creator. Writing Assistant

Dihze - Dusted Frisk and Rust creator. Writing assistant.

Cerulean- MTT Frisk creator, writing assistant.

@ajdoodle and @numberonephantompizza1 - Writing assistant.

@superkirbylover - Marlette Creator. Art and Writing assistant.

MrkySpices - Art Assistant

What is this project about?

Refer to the masterpost

How am I supposed to read this?

Read both the Story Masterpost and Asks.

The Story Masterpost is pretty self explanatory.

The asks have been the main content of the blog, and sheds more light on the world, story, and characters, even if the askblog aspect is not canon to the story itself.

This blog is basically 60% askblog, 40% story content.

What is the Omega Timeline?

If you aren’t aware, the Omega Timeline (created by dokudoki) is a safe haven founded by CORE!Frisk thousands of years ago to house people who have been left with no home to return to, although it’s not exclusive to them; people with no such issues often come to hang out and relax.

If you wish to know more about the Omega Timeline, you can learn more by checking this AU Wiki article made by Doku herself!

Is this THE Omega Timeline?

No. You are not forced to follow how this AU portrays the OT. Obviously how everyone sees the Omega Timeline is different, there isn’t a canon version of the Omega Timeline.

I base the OT heavily off of my experience in the Omega Timeline’s Official Roleplay server, and my years of roleplaying in it, but there will be discrepancies.

Are you allowed to use the Omega Timeline and CORE!Frisk?

Yes, and all CORE!Frisk writing is generally looked over by Doku before. It still doesn’t make this OT the “canon” one, though.

Is Poppy canon to [X]?

To the main cast? Yes. Everything else? Most likely not.

You won’t see Inverted Fate Papyrus mention that he fed Poppy a plate of science spaghetti in that comic.

Poppy’s Story takes place in its own continuity separate from everything else, following its own rules and events.

AU cameos do not mean that that specific character went to the OT in their canon, it just means some version of them did. The very nature of this continuity would snap several narratives in half if their appearances were canon.

On the other hand, if Poppy characters cameo in anything, then it's most likely a non-canon cameo.

TL;DR: nless explicitly stated otherwise by both parties, take any AU appearance with a grain of noncanon salt.

Can [X] AU appear in OT:PS?

Cameos? Probably so. But being a part of the main cast is carefully chosen by yours truly.

You can, however, submit an AU here and I’ll consider it for backgrounds.

Are there any ships?

There's only been charisk thus far. If that is uncomfortable for you, I understand.

Are there any TW?

I'm not entirely knowledgable on the matter of TW, I'll add to the list as I am told:

Guns

Can I make a take/AU of this?

I'd honestly advise making your own story with the OT as a setting. It is a concept you could retell through the eyes of different characters basically forever.

The circumstances that led Poppy to be as it is are sincerely so specific, changing one factor would unravel into a new story with potentially a new cast.

I know I can’t stop people, though, so if you wanna specifically make a full blown OT:PS AU, you must:

- Link back to the original blog.

- Be responsible with it.

And, if you wish to use Poppy characters in your AU project, I’d like to be asked beforehand so I can relay to my friends.

If you want to just make, say, a fanfiction based on the canon story, or a one shot and whatnot, don't worry too much.

Can I make fanart/music/etc.?

Of course! Just be sure to @ this blog, or else I won’t be able to see it. Or use “#ot poppy fanart”

Please do not do NSFW content of this blog, I do not approve.

Can I comission people / Be comissioned to make art of the characters?

Sure, I don’t see why not. Just don’t sell the characters in merchandise.

Can I RP the characters? with the characters? In the blog?

You cannot roleplay the characters, with the exception of CORE!Frisk, who doku allows people to roleplay with.

Depends if I know you/like you, but I don’t really do roleplay here. I’d be up for doing something like a comic collab tho.

DM me if you wish.

Can I dub the comics?

Sure! But as a general rule, if you’re only slapping the comics on movie maker and talking over it, please do not monetize it. Anything else is okay.

Can I translate the comics?

Sure! I don't intend on making any translations given the sheer scale of the project, but DM me about it if you have any questions about what I wrote. I speak spanish myself.

#faq #ask poppy #ot poppy

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honeymoonjin · 4 years

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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 6.8k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:

Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

Congratulations! You’ve been accepted as the Lady in the first season of The Gentlemen.

<- prev || masterlist || next ->

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: please please please use your discretion, this chapter has one of the most intense/rough scenes of the story so far, and while it is all entirely consensual, heed the warnings in case you think they may upset you, unprotected sex, morning sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, creampie, cum play, cum eating, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, public sex, filmed sex, exhib/voyeur, outdoor sex, oral (f receiving), cum eating, nipple play, biting, rough sex, doggy style, manhandling, hair tugging, light choking, a lot of aftercare bc this needs it

banner designer @jamaisjoons | thank you my darling SFHS babies ! i love you i hope this doesn’t feel rushed or anything, eep i didn’t have time to go over it

DAY TEN

Jin’s already awake by the time you blink away the last few dregs of sleep from your eyes. Glancing at you over the top of his phone occasionally, he smiles and wishes you a good morning once he sees you stretching and sitting up.

“Mm, morning,” you hum back, enjoying the well-rested looseness to your muscles from a good night’s sleep. “I think your bed is comfier than mine.”

“Then move in,” he answers immediately, with a wry grin to let you know he’s not fully serious. “Slept good, then?”

You nod, shifting under the duvet to face him. For a moment, you just give him a bemused look. “You like to get yours done early, huh? The prompt, I mean. Wanting to get it over and done with? Both last week and this week you were one of the firsts.”

Jin’s eyebrows lift in mild surprise. Even this early in the morning, his brown hair is endearingly ruffled, and his eyes are as bright as ever, pyjamas not even wrinkled. “Of course not,” he waves away, reaching out to pat your thigh warmly, his palm resting there. “I’m an opportunist.”

Your heart hitches in your chest at the intense gaze he holds on you, the heat from his skin making you shiver. Though he was dressed in a matching set of striped pyjamas, you only had a baggy shirt and a pair of panties on, your preferred way of sleeping, and his fingers splayed broadly over your bare thigh has your stomach turning in pleasure.

Outside, it’s silent, and judging by the early hour of the alarm clock on his nightstand, nobody else would be up. You bite your lip, letting your hand rest over Jin’s. “We’re alone,” you offer up suggestively, “I’m barely dressed, and I’m still needy from not getting to fuck you yesterday. Would you classify that as an opportunity?”

Though his face stays lightly bemused, the twitch of his fingers tightening minutely on your thigh belies his reaction. “Oh, baby; did Seokjinnie not give you his cock, hm? Was he being a meanie?”

You tut, trying not to laugh at the playful pout he’s stuck his bottom lip out for. “You goof, now the mood is ruined. I’m outta here.”

After shaking his hand off your thigh, stumbling awkwardly out of the mess of sheets and blankets, you make it to the desk where your phone has lain, unplugged, overnight. Wincing at the low battery and long train of notifications, you don’t hear the shifting of fabric or bare feet on plush carpet until a clothed hardness is pressed flush against you, making your core clench even as you jump in fright.

Barely breathing, you feel as Jin’s chest leans forward to press against your back, the buttons of his pyjamas digging in. And then further still, pushing until you bend at the hip. As one hand reaches out to brace himself on the desk, and the other arm wraps low around your waist, Jin forces you to bend over the desk longways until your phone has clattered loudly onto the wood and your chest presses against the hard surface.

“What are you-” you break off with a gasp at the feeling of his lower hand moving, fingers slipping between your legs to brush over the crotch of your panties, folds already dampening the fabric. “What are you doing?” you manage to pant out.

“You were right,” Jin murmurs lowly, and your spine trembles to hear his voice so close to your ear, lips barely brushing the lobe. “I would classify this as an opportunity. I’ll give my baby the cock she needs.”

You groan as a single fingertip locates your entrance and presses, obstructed by the fabric but enough to make you clench. “Fuck me,” you plead, letting yourself go slack against the desktop, one hand clutching at his wrist to anchor you.

“Mm,” he hums sweetly, standing himself up again. You whimper at the loss, but it’s drowned out by his gentle shushing. As his clothed erection continues to press against you, he takes his free hand and slips it under your shirt, running his palm up and down your back to calm you. “I will,” he confirms, “but I just want to make sure you’re ready first, yeah? Can you be patient for me?”

You nod shakily, biting down hard on your lip when you feel both of his hands moving until they meet together to slip down your panties. His nails drag lightly over the flesh of your ass as the fabric slides off, and the second they drop and pool at your ankles, you feel his fingers dipping inside you without hesitation.

You jump at the sudden intrusion of two of his thick fingers instinctively, but his hand is on your back again, holding you down with the barest exertion, and he continues thrusting at an unhurried pace.

“That’s it,” he praises, “just take it like that, baby, just relax for me.” He continues to work you open; two fingers, then three, even testing a fourth just to see you wriggle wantonly below him, before he pulls them out wetly.

Already out of breath and sweating, you whine at the lack of contact. “‘M ready, Seokjinnie, just fuck me, please,” you blabber as your core clenches, empty.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, sweetness,” he assures, “I just wanna see your pretty face. Do you wanna go hop on the bed for me?”

No matter how hard you bite on your lip, enough blood is rushing to your cheeks for the blush to be clear to Jin as you stand up shakily and turn to face him. With a pleased smile at how he’s affected you, he helps lead you to the bed again, guiding you to lay down on your back on the cool sheets. As your legs dangle over the edge, Jin steps between them, palming at his crotch.

Splayed out like this, your shirt rides up, and Jin takes the opportunity to grip snugly onto your hip, holding you steady as he slips his cock out from his pants and begins running it through your folds.

Your breath hitches, core clenching around nothing as you whine. “Need you, Seokjinnie,” you gasp as his head finally presses to your entrance. Eyes fluttering shut, you let a hand trail down to find his, entwining your fingers.

You feel him shift to hold your hand better, a low breath leaving him as he tightens his fingers. Even as he drives his length into you, slow enough to feel every inch, it’s the feeling of your hand in his that strikes you as the most intimate, most vulnerable part of this.

You hiss instinctively once his hips press flat against the flesh of your ass, clenching around the intrusion, and Jin passes his free hand over your cheek soothingly. “Just relax,” you hear him coo, “open your eyes for me, baby, deep breath.”

You manage to blink away the pleasured haze that tugs at your lids, staring up at his warm smile. Just like before, the endearing disheveled hair and cosy pyjamas he’s wearing make you smile back at him, heart airy at how beautiful he looks.

Through a crack in his curtains, earthy rays of sunshine filter through the air, the light banding across his face and collarbones. You have the sudden urge to kiss him, your free hand clutching at the soft fabric of his shirt.

When he lets you tug him down, he shifts inside you, and you whimper. The sound is quickly muffled by his lips, moving against yours so sweetly. Jin’s kisses are usually heady, addicting, but this one feels like a deep inhale of clean air, fresh and comforting, and you bury your hand in his shirt like your life depends on keeping him close.

When he finally does pull away, still so close that his nose bumps against yours, he rubs your cheekbone with his thumb fondly. “Are you ready for me to move now, baby?”

You nod, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist, ankles locking in. “Please, Seokjinnie.”

“Just relax,” he murmurs gently again, and presses his nose to your jaw, nudging your face to the side so that he can lay featherlight kisses down the sensitive skin of your throat.

Feeling electrified from his teasing touches, you groan brokenly when he finally begins to pull out. Once your walls clench needily around his head, he thrusts back in, and sets a deep, languid pace.

With your head turned to the side, nerves alight with the worshipping flicks of Jin’s tongue against your pulse point, you let your eyes fall shut again to just let yourself feel. With your legs wrapped around him, Jin doesn’t have much room to drive into you, so instead he rolls his hips, grinding against you in a way that drags against your g-spot every time.

Every exhale is a sigh of pleasure that drips from your open mouth, and a low vibration on your skin tells you Jin’s mumbling quietly against you, face buried into the crook of your neck as he holds tightly onto your hand.

Even with clothes between your chests, you feel closer with him than you have before, something about the lack of space between you more intimate than anything you’ve experienced on the show.

Sliding a hand around the back of his neck to keep him near, you arch your neck further to the side in hopes that the extra room will allow you to hear his panted utterances better.

Jin, however, takes this as a chance to move up again, nipping at your jaw, then around to suck dizzingly at the sensitive skin just behind it, below your lobe. Closer to your ear, though, you can hear him more, and your hands tighten even more on him, the words fluttering in your stomach like butterflies.

“-beautiful, my baby girl,” he coos, gasping out praises through rolls of his hips, “so perfect. Feel so good for me. Doing so well.”

You hitch out a moan as the lower hem of his shirt slips down between you, dragging just beside your clit, and you feel your mind go numb with need. “Seo-Seokjinnie, I need more, please,” you whine, arching your hips to meet him.

With a hard swallow, he pulls away from your ear, bracing himself against the bed with the hand that’s clasping yours, and reaches the other down to where you need him most.

You cry out, feeling your high approaching the moment his fingers strum at your clit, making you tremble. “R-right there, oh god, I’m so close,” you gasp out.

“Baby,” Jin calls through pants of exertion, “fuck, me too, want you to cum for me.”

As your orgasm approaches steadily, the coil in your stomach moments away from snapping, he bends down to reclaim your mouth one last time.

It’s not the length inside you or the fingers rubbing at your clit that send you over the edge. It’s the way his fingers lock around yours so tight yet his lips are so gentle on you, that sensual contrast of domestic and needy.

You cry out when you cum, clenching rhythmically around him with the force of it, and it’s mere moments later that he shudders once, and begins to spill into you, rocking his hips all the while to work you through it.

Even as he’s splayed above you, he holds all his weight on your entwined hands, letting your chest heave freely as the tremors flood through to your toes.

In the force of your combined orgasms, neither of you have the mental capacity to kiss each other, but your mouths never separate, gasping air from the other’s lungs like you’ll suffocate without.

The aftershocks last a while, your limbs feeling weak and head lofty once they finally settle. However, before you can fully come back to your senses, a sudden loud bang makes the two of you startle, Jin hissing when you clench around him.

Behind Jin’s locked door, the unmistakeable chipper voice of Jung Hoseok cries out. “Breakfaaaast! Stop fucking; it’s breakfast time!”

You groan, head dropping back limply onto the sheets. “What the fuck,” you grunt, “isn’t he meant to know not to interrupt a scene from his days in the dungeon or something?”

Jin stiffens, face going uncharacteristically blank as he pulls out of you and stands back up. Your legs unlatch from around him and you clench automatically, trying to avoid any of his cum from dripping out onto the sheets. “Sorry,” he says off-handedly as he untangles his fingers from yours, stepping away to tuck himself back into his pyjama pants. “I’m going to have a shower; just tell them to set some aside for me. Or not. I don’t mind.”

You sit up, frowning at his sudden dismissive behaviour. Like he senses your confusion, his shoulders drop, a hand rubbing over his face tiredly. “Are you alright?” you question, stepping gingerly off the bed to go seek out your panties.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, this time his voice coloured with honesty. “I didn’t realise you saw that as a scene, that’s all. But I understand.”

Your chest sinks as you stand a metre apart, feeling a distance far greater than that between you. “I- That isn’t what I meant, I was just saying Hoseok should’ve known not to interrupt-”

“It’s okay,” he cuts in, brows immediately knitting as if he’s displeased with his own interruption, “could we talk about this later? I want to be honest and open with you, but I need a bit of time to think first. I’ll see you later.”

He’s shut the door before you can process his words, but gently, like he wants to make clear he’s not slamming it. It provides you no comfort, howevever, and rather than showering yourself, you run to your room and put some pants and a fresh shirt on, hurrying downstairs so that your mind doesn’t get the chance to dwell.

Breakfast helps take your mind off it.

It’s easy to let yourself soak up the surroundings; focussing on the others around the table instead of yourself.

Namjoon has the hiccups for a solid half an hour, and every unannounced hic makes the table burst into another peal of laughter, until Taehyung finally gives him a sufficient fright to quell them.

Jungkook regales the rest of you with a (periodically interrupted) story of how he got his thumb stuck in the faucet of his bathroom and had to call out for Taehyung, whose room was just beside his, to come bring some butter and ease it out.

“And then we wanted to test if Jungkook’s thumb was bigger than mine,” Taehyung adds, “so I put my thumb up the faucet and turns out, they’re actually pretty similar sizes.”

Although the masseuse boasts this fact proudly, Jimin scrunches his face up. “So… yours got stuck up there, too?”

Taehyung deflates. “Yeah.”

“But we already had the butter,” Jungkook points out. “So it was fine.”

Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose, like the anecdote physically pains him to hear, and the conversation shifts once again.

Throughout, your eyes can’t help but return over and over again to Yoongi. Jaw tense, eyes calculating yet flighty, and shifting in his seat every few minutes as if he can’t get comfortable.

He notices your gaze, probably because he’s looking your way just as often as you’re looking his, and makes a visible effort to relax. Mulling over his odd behaviour, you’re reminded of the strange text conversation the two of you had the other day. Yoongi had wanted to revise your limits, seemingly out of nowhere; he even asked you in advance to stay in his room the night of his scene so he could make sure you were alright, though he wouldn’t specify what day.

You can’t help but wonder if you’re in for it today.

For the most part, you’re happy letting the boys surprise you, but your curiosity just lifts higher and higher for Yoongi this week every time you’ve seen or spoken with him. He’s all in black today; more formal than usual with black fitted trousers and a high-necked black sweater. Roleplays and dynamics, you remind yourself. Though Yoongi always dressed pretty nicely, he wasn’t one to don dress casual attire, and it has your mind scrambling for answers. Lawyer? CEO? Professor? Truthfully, it could be anything like that - provided this even was a costume choice for his prompt and not just him wanting to dress nicely today.

Putting the thought aside, and trying not to read too much into his odd shifting on the seat, you grab another slice of bacon from the table (Yoongi had apparently shown off his Western cooking skills this morning yet again) and slip back into the flow of conversation.

In the end, Jin comes downstairs before you finish eating. Automatically, you feel your heart begin to thud sickly, but to your surprise he walks past your chair and squeezes your shoulder with a fond smile before sitting down at the end of the table. Clearly far more cheerful, his face is freshly washed and his his hair still damp as he immediately digs in to any and all of the food still left on the table.

It surprises you to see him seemingly unbothered by your word-slip this morning, but upon your inquisitive glance, he just sends you a nod of acknowledgement, mouthing it’s okay at you around a mouthful of rice.

You go lax with relief, though a small voice in the back of your mind nags you, what if it isn’t? What if he’s just pretending to save face and make things less awkward? There’s not much you can do here, not with a crowd of unassuming housemates chattering away, but you try to take a mental note to have a conversation about it later with Jin. He’d appreciate that, you think.

“Are you alright?”

You glance up suddenly at the concerned voice, but it isn’t directed at you. Beside you, Namjoon frowns at Yoongi as the older man shifts in his seat once more.

“Just… feeling a bit uncomfortable,” he admits stiffly, legs splayed with one bouncing restlessly.

Hoseok snickers behind his fork, but makes no further comment. Namjoon, however, still seems genuinely worried for the doctor. “Maybe you should get some air,” he suggests lightly, eyes drooping in sympathy, “there’s a really nice gazebo just out back by the flower beds?”

Yoongi’s tongue slips out to wet the corner of his mouth, and pauses. He blinks once, then his whole demeanor shifts, letting out a heavy sigh even as his eyes light up. “Good idea, Joon,” he allows with a small smile, “though I better not go alone. Y/n; would you mind accompanying me?”

You know he knows that you see right through him; the twinkle in his eyes as they rest on you speaks clearly. But then again, you also know that he knows that you have no real idea of what exactly he’s planning on doing with you. That mixed adrenaline of being in on the naughty little secret, as well as having no clue what really was coming, stirs excitement in your stomach, and you find yourself on your feet before you’ve even fully processed his words.

True to what Namjoon said, the gazebo is really nice. Trellis on two sides with winding strands of climber plants are studded with small flowers in white and pale blue, the sun still streams in through the two open sides, providing wooden benches warmed from the rays.

You don’t sit, though, as you face Yoongi. Your pulse races and core throbs, but he holds you in that electric silence, eyes running over your figure shamelessly.

“You remember the safewords?” You nod at Yoongi’s quiet but firm voice, closer to a statement than a question. He doesn’t even look you in the eye, instead licking his lips wolfishly as he admires you, making you shift from the fierce attention. Yoongi grunts in acknowledgement. “Good. I hope these clothes you’re wearing aren’t expensive.”

You frown at him, lost, but he’s tilting his head to the side suddenly, gaze locked between your legs. Even as you instinctively glance down, you feel it before you see it.

A thin stripe of wetness, trailing down your inner thigh past your shorts. The off-white colour and thick consistency is unmistakeable, as is the wetness of your panties. Your cheeks flood as Yoongi tsks, raising a brow.

“I see someone beat me to the prize this morning. Let me guess; Jin?”

You open your mouth, but close it again, feeling somehow too shy to speak. Yoongi’s always been a pretty introspective guy, but never have you seen him this quietly intense before, his lips set in a line that is neither amused nor disappointed. You nod instead.

Even as he lets out a minute sigh, his hand leaves his side, and your breath catches in your chest as you feel a fingertip collecting the trail, all the way up to the sodden seam of your panties, and pulls back.

Holding it in between both your faces, Yoongi’s eyes observe the older man’s cum as it pools on the pad of his finger. There’s something so dirty, so taboo about the sight that you have to smother a sob of need at the sight, but you’re unable to muffle a guttural groan as he dips that same finger into his own mouth, sucking it off with a pop.

“Yoongi, fuck,” you breathe, feeling lightheated even though he’s barely touched you.

His hand drops, eyes latching back onto yours sharply. “Guess I’ll have to fuck him out of you. Claim you as mine.”

Your eyes widen, heart racing. “Yoongi…” You don’t even know what else to say, mind blank with desire.

He grins, and the primal satisfaction in his eyes has you dampening your panties even more than Jin’s cum already has. “Perhaps if you scream loud enough, he’ll hear you from inside.”

You squeak as he rushes you, chest pressed against yours and an arm under your ass, lifting you off the ground as he walks back. Feeling air rush around you and the sun suddenly pierce into your eyes, you clutch onto Yoongi as he kneels down and drops you softly but suddenly onto the lush bed of grass, warmed from the sun.

With eyes wide with shock, you watch as Yoongi reaches for your shirt. Without a moment to process him fisting the fabric, you hear it rip from the neck down, until the two torn fronts lay over your arms, bra exposed. “Yoongi!” you cry, not angry so much as startled, but he’s not done.

With a sneer and a grunt of exertion, he rips away your bra too, the lack of an underwire on the lacy garment making it too easy for him to tear away. Like a man possessed, he tugs off your shorts, jerking your body as the waistband is roughly pulled past your hips, and by the time his fingers dig into the sodden fabric of your panties to shred them too, your whole body is on fire with arousal.

His black shirt and pants, once reminding you of a rich CEO or classy lawyer, now seem to fit him like the pelt of a wolf or the sleek fur of a panther, his eyes pinning you back onto the grass. His hands are all over you, nails digging in like claws to make you shiver. “I’m going to ruin you, little dove,” he promises. “But first; I’m sick of smelling another man’s cum on you.”

With the sun blazing down on you, a cool breeze peaking your bared nipples, you can barely comprehend what he’s doing when he backs away, further from the shelter of the gazebo. Not until he lowers himself down, wraps a iron-tight grip around your ankle and tugs you down to meet him halfway as his mouth descends on you.

Instead of where you expect, however, you feel his lips sucking up your thigh, cleaning up the drips that have run down since. “God, Yoongi,” you start, but he chastises your whining by replacing lips with teeth, biting harshly into the sensitive flesh.

You cry out wordlessly, hand reaching down to fist in his hair. His mouth finally finds your core, and his flicking tongue is just as sharp as his teeth, and more deft.

It’s sinful; the way you can feel his tongue digging into you, sucking out Jin’s cum like his life depends on it. Every lash of it runs over your swollen clit, thighs trembling.

There’s no one around, and your cries echo strangely in the open air, making you feel small. One of Yoongi’s hands reaches up to paw roughly at your breast, tweaking at the nipple until you try to bat him away. The lazy late-morning breeze, the soft blades of grass, the scrapes of Yoongi’s teeth on your folds as he eats you out like a man starved. These things don’t seem like they should ever be together, yet it’s so deliciously addictive to be pinned to the ground like this, Yoongi’s grunts mixing with your moans.

You tighten your grip in his hair, jumping when he sinks his teeth into your inner thigh in reproach, mirroring the earlier one surely enough to bruise.

Marking you, you realise. Claiming you.

Though any trace of the cum inside you must surely have been tongued away, Yoongi doesn’t slow down for a minute, determined to make you scream as promised.

Now that the pretence of cleaning you out has been surpassed, he targets your clit, sucking and flicking and grazing until you’re a shivering mess, unable to think about anything but him between your legs, and the orgasm that is so close you can almost taste it.

Your thighs still throb with the memory of his teeth, and even as they ache, you long for more. You try your luck with a gasped breath. “Y-Yoongi, please!”

The moment he sucks your clit between his teeth and nips, your vision goes white, the moan halfway out of your throat morphing into a strangled stream as you tug at his hair, seeking out more pleasure to ride your high.

His hand doesn’t stop its assault on your breast as you cum violently beneath him, and the tugging at your nipple makes your spine go taut in an arch, the climax rushing through you quick and hot, nothing like the slow flowing warmth of your orgasm earlier this morning. It’s over almost as soon as it takes you, and you let out a cry when the stimulation quickly turns into needle-like sharpness.

“Too much,” you gasp, but he acts like he hasn’t heard you, laving his tongue over your overstimulated clit like he's addicted to it.

It’s only once you begin to physically push at him, his shoulders and head, that he sits up, grinning down at you as you pant.

The entire bottom half of his face from the tip of his nose down is glossy with your arousal, and his hair is tangled from you clutching at it. He looks positively wild, drunk off your core, and the thought itself makes a moan rumble deep in your throat.

You brace your trembling arms on either side of you and shift up onto your hands, ragged shirt immediately slipping down to pool at your wrists. “Holy shit, Yoongi,” you enthuse, the intensity of your orgasm still hazy in your mind even if it’s left your body.

“Oh, you think that was me ruining you? You think I’m done?” Something in Yoongi’s eyes glints, something primal. He sits back on his heels. “Run, little dove.”

You pause for a moment, even as his words lick at your core with arousal. He wanted you to run, so that he could chase you. So that he could catch you and ruin you like he promised, like he warned.

You swallow, stumble to your feet with shaky knees, and take off.

With clothes shredded, you have no choice but to dart away, naked, and the thought of any of the others seeing you through the glass from inside makes your heart beat faster.

The you an hour ago would have shied away at the full nudity, perhaps, but you feel high on adrenaline and arousal, and so you aim your path boldly towards the back door of the house.

Feet thumping against the grass, you slow to a stop to glance behind you. No longer on his knees, Yoongi is brushing off his pants, eyes narrowed and blazing like twin suns as he takes off right towards you.

Another streak of excitement rushes through you, the absurdity of the situation disappearing under the need of feeling him fucking into you with abandon once he catches you.

You take off again, grass changing to concrete until you bang against the glass door, throwing it open and rushing through the kitchen.

Strangely, there’s no one in the lounge or the dining area, and as the lush diners of the carpet soothe your feet, you can’t tell whether the leap in your heart is relief or disappointment.

Your momentary pause of surprise loses you precious distance, and you squeal when you feel a hand on your shoulder.

Whirling away from Yoongi’s grip, you stumble back into a run, feeling the impact of his feet on the floor right behind you all the way.

In the end, you make it to the base of the stairs before his hands reach you again.

Your knees buckle only the stairs with a jarring thud, and you catch yourself, sprawled on the incline of the stairs.

You cry out when a hand buries itself in your hair, Yoongi’s legs straddling you and hips pressing you down as he tugs your head back. The growl that emerges from his throat is nothing short of animalistic as he runs his nose up your throat to nip roughly at your earlobe.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, little dove,” the doctor warns in a gravelly voice, “so hold still.”

As you tremble beneath him, Yoongi darts out his tongue to lick one slow stripe up the side of your face possessively, before he lets go of your hair and shifts back.

Impatiently, you hear him slip his pants down just enough to expose his cock, and he swears gruffly under his breath, spitting into his palm to slick himself up with a few quick strokes.

Like you’re lighter than air, Yoongi grabs your hips and lifts them up so that your knees rest on a higher step. “Wider,” he snaps, and you rush to obey with a whimper, feeling exposed on your hands and knees, right where anyone coming downstairs could see you.

Perhaps because he knows Jin must’ve stretched you out earlier, or perhaps he just wants to stay in character, but the moment he lines himself up with your entrance, he’s pounding into you without abandon.

Too fucked out to even notice the level of your voice, you cry out with every thrust, the sound punctuated by his hips slapping against you.

You can’t think of anything but his cock in you, the growls leaving his throat, his fingers digging into your hips almost enough to bruise. Your mouth doesn’t close, a trail of drool collecting under your chin but there’s nothing inside you to care.

With all your other scenes, no matter how intense, there’s been a degree of restraint, most of the guys only having been with you once. But with Yoongi, and the safety net of your safe words and limits he so carefully reminded you both of.

All you can feel is unbidden pleasure. Every thrust is intense enough to make your toes curl, but you’re drunk on it, pushing your hips back to meet each one and feel him even deeper inside you.

His hand finds your hair again, gathering a handful to tug back, and you curse as his mouth meets your throat again, lips latching harshly onto the part where your neck meets your collarbone, sucking deeply, teeth nipping, undoubtedly enough to leave a mark that would stick around for who knows how long.

“They’ll see,” he growls, “I’m gonna breed you, little dove, and then they’ll know who you belong to. One of them could come down the stairs right now, and know that I’m the one that owns this precious little pussy of yours.” He’s huffing now, panting with the energy he’s spending on ravaging you so deeply, but his voice is as intoxicating as ever, “Would you like that, hm? Like them to watch me fuck you full of my cum?”

“Fuck, Yoongi,” you cry out hopelessly, and your nails dig into the fibres of the carpet harshly as your orgasm approaches. “Y-Yes, want you to fill me!”

His thrusts get impossibly faster and your jaw slackens even more, eyes rolling back with the inescapable pleasure you feel. You’re so close, but before you can cum, you feel Yoongi begin to spill in you.

Instead of stopping however, he just snaps his hips more, fucking the cum into you messily, growled words of dirty praise as you feel it drip down the backs of your thighs, the increased slickness of his thrusting making it obscenely loud.

You pant, desperately chasing your high, and suddenly you feel Yoongi’s hand in your hair shift, reaching out to wrap his fingers around your throat.

Not pressing enough to cut off air, but enough to make your breaths shallower, he bends down to whisper in your ear. “Cum for me now, little dove.”

On command, your body falls apart, legs shaking and spine arching from the whitehot pleasure. Your elbows buckle, and it’s actually Yoongi’s hand on your throat that keeps your chin banging into the stairs below, letting you down carefully even as he fucks you through your orgasm; slow, measured thrusts to strike your g-spot as you soak his cock even further with your juices.

Feeling tears of pleasure pricking at your eyes, all the energy in your body evaporates as he finally takes his hand away and the unrestricted air rushes into your lungs.

You shiver when he pulls out, feeling oddly vulnerable and exposed, even though you were no more naked or debauched than when you’d ran here. Exhausted from your second orgasm, that erotic haze begins to dissipate, and you can’t picture how you ever had the brazenness to dash through the house and backyard naked.

It’s strange how quickly the atmosphere shifts out of that animalistic delight. Even as aftershocks make your clit throb, a part of you wants to curl up and not face the world. You indulge this, burying your face into the crook of your arm, but then there are hands on you, soft and soothing and nothing like the clawed hands that unraveled you so entirely before.

“Hey, sweetheart,” a warm tone calls out, “are you still with me?”

“Mm,” you mumble ungracefully, but Yoongi takes that as the affirmative.

“Okay, I’m going to lift you up now, yeah? I’m taking you to my room for some privacy.”

You don’t have the energy to nod, so you make a noise of confirmation again, letting deceptively strong arms pick you up off the stairs, carefully navigating you into his hold as he makes his way upstairs one step at a time.

Everything seems a little light and fuzzy, and it’s easier to let your eyes slip closed and Yoongi to do the heavy lifting - quite literally - so you do just that. It’s the cold touch of a made bed against the naked skin of your back that brings back some clarity, and you shift, eyes blinking open again dizzily.

Yoongi’s rushing away, coming back with a blanket to tuck over you, your head propped up on a pillow. “Still feeling fuzzy?”

You do manage to nod this time. You could speak, but the idea itself seems too energy-sapping to bear much thinking about. Yoongi seems more than capable to do the talking himself.

He smiles brightly at your response, taking your hand in his comfortingly. The predatorial glint in his eyes is gone, replaced by focus and intent, carefully monitoring you. Even his caring attention alone feels rejuvenating.

“I shouldn’t have, but I’m going to make sure I haven’t broken the skin anywhere, okay? Just bare with me, sweetheart, you did so well.”

In the end, it takes what must be half an hour of Yoongi checking you over, getting you to sip at some water, and clothing you in some old flannel pyjamas of his so you were warm - the bulky socks were itchy, but they still helped - before your mind feels cleared enough to speak.

It’s strange, coming back from a tough scene like that. You remember Hoseok mentioning something about subdrop before. When all the high emotions and adrenaline of a scene drop away like low tide, leaving your mind sometimes feeling at sea even if your body was back on shore. Eventually, though, with the care of the kind doctor, you feel yourself again, cosy and happy bundled up in his clothes and a warm blanket.

“I’m okay now,” you croak out, voice rusty no doubt from your pleasured cries just before. “I’m good. And it was good, too. It was exciting.”

Yoongi’s brows furrow, glancing up at you from where he’s bending over at the bedside, slipping off a grass-stained shoe. Only after he’d made completely sure you were okay did he even begin to think about himself, and the thought just warms your heart. Yoongi, though, still seems to worry. “It wasn’t too much? I wasn’t sure if I was pushing it too far, even if it was within your-”

“I liked it, Yoongi, and I felt safe,” you insist truthfully, shuffling over to make room for him on his bed. “You know I would’ve said red if I needed to. Or yellow.” You bite down on your lip as the springs in the mattress shift, Yoongi still in his rumpled turtleneck and trousers decidedly less alpha male as he tugs a corner of the blanket over his lap. Your knees bump together, and you find yourself leaning into his side, drinking in the physical contact. “Did… Did you like it?”

Yoongi stays silent for a moment, but you know it’s just because he likes organising his thoughts before speaking. “It was pretty different to my usual,” he admits, “though perhaps not as much as you’d think. There were certainly aspects I enjoyed very much, and others I perhaps don’t feel a need to repeat.”

“Like?” you question.

His shoulder shifts beneath your head, a hand coming up to brush at the tender spot on your neck. “I like marking you up. Making you cum. Though I must admit, I just about popped a hip back there. I think I’m too old for the real kinky shit now.”

You scoff, pushing at his shoulder playfully. “I doubt that. I would say eating Jin’s cum out of me is pretty kinky, and you loved that.”

“I-” Yoongi’s voice of protest is cut off by his own reluctant laugh. “Fine, sure, you got me. I guess I am kinda setting a streak there, huh?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug noncommittally, “you could always find someone else’s cum to enjoy. Get a little variety.”

Yoongi makes a noise of indignation. “You little shit! Don’t kinkshame! You’re the one that fell apart as soon as I put my hand around your throat. We’re as bad as each other.”

You laugh, punching him lightly but letting him get the win. The two of you fall into silence for a few moments, before you sigh lightly. “I think Jin’s angry at me,” you offer up.

To your surprise, Yoongi matches your sigh, like he knows something too. His arm wraps around your waist, tugging you close as he rests his chin on the crown of your head. “He’s just fond of you, sweetheart. Well; we all are, I suppose. But Jin is trying really hard to be the voice of objectivity, and I think he’s struggling with that a bit right now. It’s not you. I promise you that.” You hum, still feeling a poke of guilt in your gut. Unsatisfied, Yoongi presses on. “I suggested he see a therapist.”

Perhaps, when you think of Yoongi, that’s something that will always make your heart warm first. He knows when to be serious, and when to joke, and either way he never fails to comfort you, to make you laugh.

So when Yoongi asks you to stay, not just tonight but for the rest of the afternoon, you don’t hesitate for a moment. There’s nothing you want more than his company.

#yoongi smut #bts x reader #jin smut #bts smut #yoongi x reader #ficswithluv #jin x reader #minthlynet #thekimlinenet #magicshopnet #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #btswritersnet #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #bangtanidx #bangtanfairygarden #hyungsmutsociety

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hoe-doroki · 4 years

Text

trust yourself

warning: eating disorder, food restricting, food withholding

pairing: Izuku x g/n!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 2.3k

a/n: This is the first of four attempts to answer this ask. This is a story with a reader who is food restricting, so everyone be careful to take care of yourselves! The other three attempts are Gratitude, A Start, and Picnic. All parts are unrelated to each other.

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

“You’re home!”

You cocked your head at a damp Izuku, coming out of the bedroom you’d just recently started sharing, with a towel trying to work the drips out of his hair. His hair looked black fresh out of the shower and it would slowly grow back its green shine as it air dried. You’d watched it before, carded it between your fingers and held it up to the light to see it happen yourself.

“You’re home,” you replied, brows furrowed in confusion as you kicked off your shoes.

“Yeah, I was on the early shift today,” Izuku said, voice echoing as he popped across the hall to put the towel back in the bathroom. “Remember?”

He came over to kiss you on the cheek and you pressed your palm against your eye, trying to remember the conversation Izuku had had with you that morning while you’d still been half asleep, despite already being changed and out of bed. It came back to you slowly. Maybe he’d told you, but you couldn’t say for sure. You shook your head, pushing it away.

“Anyway, I was just about to order pick up from the place down the street. What do you want?”

“Ah, I’m really tired, Izu,” you said, walking past him to the bathroom. “I was just gonna brush my teeth and go to bed.”

Traffic had delayed your commute home from work, but it was only about 7pm and the sun was even set yet. But still, you hardly felt like you could stay upright another minute. You were probably securing a bleary-eyed awakening at 3am, but work had been stressful and you just wanted to end the day early. Cut your losses and see if tomorrow would shape up to be any better.

Izuku followed you to the doorway of the still steamy bathroom, watching as you washed your face, beginning your nighttime routine. “No dinner?”

You lifted your face an inch out of the porcelain. “I had a big lunch.”

“Still,” Izuku said, stepping in and handing you a washcloth. When you finished patting off the water, Izuku was staring at you. You withered under his analytical gaze. He put a hand to your face and brushed his thumb under your eye. You knew that the circles under your eyes had been especially dark lately, so you looked down and shifted your face out of his grasp. “Maybe your blood sugar’s low and that’s part of why you’re tired. You might feel better if you eat something.”

“I don’t think so,” you said, reaching for your moisturizer. “It’ll probably just make it harder to sleep.”

You didn’t want to see those big eye bags in the mirror, so you stared at your toothbrush, keeping an eye on what was next in your order or operations. You’d moisturize, brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, and then pass the heck out. Then it would be over.

“You don’t want…”

You glanced up at Izuku, whose eyes were widening, a hand flying halfway to his mouth as a light blush dusted his cheeks. And, just like that, you knew he was seeing straight through you. Izuku was just too good at putting things together. Suddenly, you felt so tired that you’d be happy to curl up on the bathmat and call it a day right there. You didn’t need the bed. Tile would suit you just fine.

“Babe,” he said hesitantly, putting a hand lightly on your arm. “You know I love everything about you, right?”

You nodded, the words not penetrating. You didn’t feel the butterflies you usually did when Izuku showed how sweet on you he was, and that made you feel a whole other kind of upset. “I love you too, Izu.”

He was watching you so closely and all you could do was long for the bath mat to rest on. You clenched and unclenched your fists, your grip feeling loose and bloodless as your thighs began to shake.

Izuku was against you in an instant, pulling you into his arms. You hated that you were making him worried. You hated that his hold didn’t stop the shaking. You hated that you wanted to pull away.

“Nothing could make me love you less, Y/N,” Izuku whispered in your ear, and your heart broke just enough to let that feeling in. You clung to him, fisting the back of his tee-shirt and focused on the feeling of his wet curls against your face.

“I don’t know why you would,” you whispered.

“Oh, I do,” Izuku replied quickly. “It’s because you’re smart, kind, compassionate, creative, beautiful, my friends and my mom all love you, and there’s no one else I’d rather come home to. If you let me grab my notebooks, I can list off even more reasons.”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Just as well,” Izuku said. “There are too many reasons to list.”

He held you until the shaking stopped and you were able to relax just a little more into his touch.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Izuku said slowly. “I’m going to order some dinner, and you can help me finish it, how’s that? And we can just watch some TV. I know you’re tired, but I want to spend just a little time with you before bed, okay? I give you permission to fall asleep on the couch and I’ll carry you to bed.”

“Izuku,” you whined. “You always finish your food. You don’t need my help.”

“I don’t know,” Izuku said. “Sometimes I’m a little silly and order too much. And you know how much my mother hates waste. She’d be able to tell from her house that I didn’t eat everything and then she’ll rush over here and then we’ll never get to sleep.”

He was lying through his teeth and you knew it. Mama Midoriya would never do anything of the sort, even if she could. But you gave in anyway.

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Okay,” Izuku agreed. “I’m going to order the food and you can change into your pajamas. Then we can pick out what to watch. But this,” Izuku snatched your toothbrush and held it in front of you with an impish grin, “is mine for now.”

Izuku ran off, leaving you reminded of the flavor of mirth. He didn’t quite have you laughing, but there was half a smile on your face as you heard him calling the takeout place. You meandered to your bedroom and took off your work clothes, sliding into the well-worn cottons and poly-blends of your pajamas. You eyed the bed, longing for it, but thought about the idea of snuggling up against Izuku on the couch. It was hard to imagine that you deserved it, but deep down you knew the idea was sweeter than that of curling in on yourself in bed, alone, hours before Izuku would join you.

“Done,” Izuku said, holding up the phone as he leaned his head into the room. When he caught sight of you, his face bloomed into a soft smile at the sight of you in your pjs. He came over, putting his hands on your biceps, and pressed his mouth to your neck. “Mm, love you a lot. Let’s choose what we wanna watch.”

You followed him back out to the living room and sat together on the couch. He pulled you close to him, and you couldn’t help but snuggle up. He was so warm and you felt cold all over.

“Do you want to choose?” he asked, offering you the remote.

You shook your head. You didn’t want to have to make a decision.

“Okay,” Izuku said as he began clicking through thumbnails of shows.

For someone with such good reflexes, trained in making quick, high stakes choices, Izuku was just as bad as you were at choosing a television program to color the background. Eventually, he settled on a cartoon that you liked—he was probably aiming for a comfort pick.

Izuku then pushed off the couch. “I’m going to go pick up the food now,” he said. “I’ll be back in two minutes. Could you grab us some water and chopsticks?”

“Alright,” you said, allowing Izuku to help you off the couch. You tried not to show on your face the head rush you felt just from that simple exertion. You must have hidden it well enough, because the next moment, Izuku had grabbed his keys and wallet and was out the door.

You sluggishly made for the kitchen, opening the cabinets and grabbing two glasses, filling them up. You brought them to the coffee table and returned to the kitchen for chopsticks. You stared at the drawer, looking at all the different options. Stainless steel, bamboo, pretty ones painted with cherry blossoms. You were tempted to grab only one pair, but you went ahead with two. Two pairs of chopsticks was something you could do.

By the time you were done, settling on the floor leaning against the couch instead of on it, Izuku was back. His muscles were glowing faintly, red streaks fading away as he kicked off his shoes. His hair was totally dry now, fresh from having used One For All to dash to the restaurant and back. The only reason he’d been gone for the couple minutes he had was because he’d had to pay.

“Libations, m’lady?”

Izuku chucked awkwardly at himself, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he settled in on the floor next to you and began unloading the food. And it was so much. It was probably more than Izuku could eat by himself, but for you it definitely would have been multiple, multiple servings. You eyed it warily, like it was about to lunge at you.

“Wanna turn on the show?”

You blinked at Izuku, who was smiling softly at you. Not looking any different than the way he’d looked at you the day before and the day before that. He nodded at the remote and you hit play and watched the program come to life.

The both of you sat back like that for a while. Izuku’s hand was on your shoulder, running his fingers lightly back and forth. You were settled, focused on the show and breathing easily when Izuku reached for a pair of chopsticks and began eating. You stared, knowing that it was an invitation that you start eating too, but you were worried. The food would be tasteless, chalky in your mouth. The smell wasn’t making you salivate like it probably should have. You felt indifferent to it, like you were looking at any of the other household objects around you, the remote, the All Might figurine on the TV console. Not appetizing.

After swallowing his first bite, Izuku handed you the second pair of chopsticks. “You don’t have to finish anything,” he said gently. “And you don’t have to compare how much we eat, because I have to eat so much to do my job, right? So just try a little of each and go from there. For me?”

He was giving you puppy dog eyes. And there was really nothing you could do in that situation.

You tried one bite, starting with some rice and egg. And, miraculously, it tasted good. The egg was custardy and the rice had a nice balance of salt. When you swallowed, you felt a squeeze in your stomach, kindly asking for more. You decided to trust that feeling, knowing that the Japanese food wouldn’t feel too heavy when you were done. You took another small bite.

Izuku smiled at you, eyes shining. “It’s good, isn’t it?”

You nodded, hand over your mouth. “It’s okay.”

As the two of you watched the show, Izuku ate way more than you did. But you reminded yourself, as he’d said, that he needed a lot of calories every day to do all of the physical activity that was demanded of him, that One For All took out of him. What you needed was totally different, and that was okay.

There were leftovers when Izuku put his chopsticks down and leaned back, but he didn’t tell you to eat more. The two of you would wrap it back up and put it in the fridge, possibly take it to work as lunch tomorrow. When the program ended and the theme song for the next episode began, Izuku murmured, “We don’t have to talk about it today, but you know that I’m here for whatever you’re going through, right?”

You were curled against Izuku, head flat against his chest. You nodded into his sternum and hummed your affirmation.

“And nothing would make me not love you or not think you were beautiful. Because you’re still the best person I’ve ever met.”

You smiled sleepily. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met.”

“Well, you must be rubbing off then,” he said cheekily. “We both still have a lot to learn about taking better care of ourselves. Everyone does, right?”

You looked down at his right hand, scars dimpling it all over, mended bones poking out at irregular angles.

“I’ve been learning a lot about it since I was a teenager, but I’m sure you have too,” he said. “I think you know more than you think you do. All you have to do is trust yourself as much as I trust you. And love yourself as much as I love you.”

You were quiet as his monologue ended and your show came back on. When you were almost sure he couldn’t hear, you said, “I don’t know how.”

When he didn’t respond, you thought you’d gotten away with it. That your confession had made it out of you without repercussion. But a moment later, Izuku proved you wrong, saying, “Loving you is the easiest thing in the world. I’ll show you.”

Then he kissed the top of your head, just as your eyes began to droop, and your heart finally began to warm back up.

“I promise.”

#bnha x reader #deku x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #tw: eating disorder #tw eating disorder #cw: eating disorder #cw eating disorder #eating disorder #bnha fanfic #bnha imagines #bnha imagine

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