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brightestorangedawn · 9 months

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* About Me ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Hi, I'm Beth! I'm in my 20s and I live in Australia (so imagine everything I say with an Australian accent). I'm incredibly, incredibly shy, so if we're mutuals chances are I do really want to talk to you, but I'll almost never make the first move.

I wouldn't say this is primarily a Star Wars blog but it does take up a big chunk of my attention on here ngl. I'm primarily interested in prequels stuff, and primarily in Anakin/Padmé, but I do also really love the OT too, although I don't really write about it.

Other stuff about me is I really love art (although making it is absolutely not my skillset), I love books (especially narrative non-fiction), and I really love to analyse and pick things apart (in a good way).

I'm not really into any other fandoms in the way I'm into Star Wars, but I am a very big NGE enjoyer (if you couldn't tell from the pfp), a big Dune enjoyer and honestly just a very big 80s sci-fi in general enjoyer.

I'm not sure what else to write here to make this interesting so I'll just tell you some random things about me like the fact that I'm scared of carpark elevators and I really love mustard and my favourite book in the whole world is The Shining and my favourite painting is Circe Invidiosa by John William Waterhouse.

I'll put my masterlist of fics below (and then watch as I forget to ever update them). I really like writing character study stuff, or about love and obsession, grief, loss, mourning, being doomed to the narrative, the burden of power - I don't tend to ever write very happy endings (sorry). 99.99% of the stuff I write is either about Anakin or directly from his perspective because he's my favourite and also the easiest for me to write <3

If you read my stuff on Ao3 a while ago and wondered where it went, well ... all I can say is that it's back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Masterlist ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

One-Shots

First Time/Last Time

Summary: Cool evening mist on the lake outside, fireplace warmth turning the sitting room golden.

Her veil on the floor, her dress on top of it.

'Do you trust me?' he asked.

'Of course.'

'Do you love me?' he asked.

'Even more so.'

---

The first time Anakin and Padmé sleep together, then the last time.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Tip of the Tongue

Summary: On Naboo, Padmé shares her favourite dessert with Anakin. Vader is haunted by the memory of it.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé and Vader/Padmé

Rating: T

(personally my favourite thing I've ever written heheh)

What's In a Name?

Summary: Anakin and Padmé try to decide on a name for their unborn child. However, they know that whatever they choose there is one name the baby can never have: Skywalker.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: T

How Will I Let You Slip Through

Summary: "Don't grow up too fast, my son.” She murmured it into the gold of his hair.

But as much as she could want it, as much as she could will it, she still couldn’t stop him slipping through her fingers.

Four little interconnected stories about Skywalkers facing big moments of their lives over tea, caf, and (of course) blue milk.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé, Vader/Padmé , Luke & Owen, Anakin & Shmi

Rating: G

I Dug a Grave For You

Summary: I dug it with my own hands, no help from the Force at all. Nothing to make the task easier, nothing to make the task more bearable. Just the sound of the shovel cutting into the soft sand, moving it aside, throwing it over my shoulder. Over and over again, a rhythm, a song, a hymn, a dirge.

Pairing: Anakin & Obi-Wan

I wanted to feel every second of it, every moment of pain and discomfort. Some sort of penance for what I did to you. Some sort of way to say I’m sorry.

---

In the aftermath of the duel on Mustafar, Obi-Wan escapes to Tatooine to live a life full of shadows and grief.

Rating: T

Multi-Chapter Fics

Cestrum Nocturnum

Summary: Summer on Naboo, the Clone Wars have yet to begin, and Anakin is tasked with protecting Senator Amidala after an attempt is made on her life. It's too bad that every moment with her has him in agony, and every moment apart is even worse—especially after that night in the courtyard ...

Or: Anakin spends a torturous time on Naboo in the company of the person he loves because he doesn't know how to tell her his true feelings.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/2

The Grove of Silver Leaves

Summary: In 1890, Anakin is an artist, apprenticed to the wealthy Sheev Palpatine. He meets Padmé at a party and she quickly becomes his muse. Of course, Anakin falls desperately in love with her—it’s just too bad she’s married to someone else.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/?

A Changing Fate

Summary: During the Clone Wars, Padmé nearly dies, and in a moment of impulsivity, the secret of Anakin’s marriage gets revealed to the Jedi Council. Not a lot goes to plan for him after that.

Or: Anakin learns what is really important to him. It’s not always what he thought it would be.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/15

#i thought i should finally do this #star wars fanfiction #anakin/padme #anidala #anakin x padme

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stoopidstapler · 10 months

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SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #goin insane over him #thers no words to describe how im feelin #i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE #FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED.#ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO???????#ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P #IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH #SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP.#also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake #which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk #ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help #ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER.#im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help #maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.

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sugarcarnation · 4 days

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love love love how similar these two panels are. makes me insane

#putting my ramblings in the tags because that’s the only way i know how to write something semi cohesive #but!! im obsessed with the way the arrangement is almost the same #both shirase and dazai in the middle. behind them the people they’re leading #but shirase (the one chuuya should’ve been able to trust) is pointing a gun at him #and not only shirase all the sheep are holding weapons #plus all the faceless GSS men staring chuuya down as well #and then you have dazai and the port mafia #same arrangement but they’re not holding any weapons #despite the way they should be his enemies they’re not posing any immediate threat #also!! something i just thought about but i do believe there’s something to be said about how dazai is also looking down on chuuya #he is the one holding the power right now #but he is not standing and instead crouching down #if he wasn’t on an elevated position (which is arguably his position in the mafia) he would be on the same level as chuuya #but he is offering chuuya to get on the same level as him by joining the mafia!!!#finally giving him the chance to be somewhere people will treat him as an equal #and of course eventually becoming dazais partner and true equal #man. head in hands media analysis is my passion. or something like that #bungou stray dogs #bsd spoilers #bsd fifteen #bsd fifteen spoilers #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku

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cherrirui-official · 6 months

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Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 1/7)

Since the edited episodes are starting to come out, I figured that bc of that and the fact that I've been keeping this in the back burner for a loooong while now, might as well complete all my friendlocke violet gijinkas!! Some are gonna stay the same while others are gonna have slight/ complete redesigns, so please keep that in mind!

I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv

(Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

And that's pretty much it, designs under the cut!

LARK:

HUGE nerd. spent most of his time during the Uva Academy studying different kinds of pokemon as well as different fighting styles he can utilize once he is able to go out on his own journey with his very own trainer! Too bad that didn't really help in the long run...

His entire wardrobe consists of McDonald's related outfits. It's fucking insane. He even has some from long LONG ago that aren't available anywhere else.

The bubble pattern on his hair is able to move and change. Nobody knows how this is possible, not even Lark himself. All Lark knows is that his hair looks incredibly stylish!

Speaking of bubbles, he has the ability to blow bubbles whenever and wherever he pleases!

Often keeps himself extremely clean and gets upset if even a small speck of dirt gets on him, despite this he somehow smells like McDonald's food and axe body spray. Disgusting. He's so cool!

Even after death he still likes to hang around the other team members as a ghost, often getting to know the newer members as well as reuniting with the old ones. Sometimes they see him, sometimes they don't. It usually depends.

SARA:

Due to being a human in her past life, Sara is able to actually speak with the other humans in the pokemon world. However she usually doesn't due to it being seen as extremely weird and out of place. She did slip up once while talking in the presence of Arven, who thought it was the weed making him hear things.

Oinkologne are usually unable to do much with their hooves but Sara spent nights practicing how to knit with her new hooves and now she's able to do it flawlessly. I don't know how she managed to do that but go queen!

When first joining the team she'd often have the urge to eat her food related companions. It was a strange time for Sara, but she managed to overcome it.

When Peppy gets sick, she usually is the one who nurses him back to health. She was a human once so she often is able to figure out whatever sickness Peppy has and treat it properly. I suppose she's like a second mother to him.

The bag she carries with her is full of thread that she collected from various Tarountula she encountered on the journey, as well as little things she knits together in her spare time.

For the most part, Sara forgives... but NEVER forgets.

Did you guys know that Sara has a new YouTube channel? Check it out!

Pastey:

Before joining the team, Pastey was a nameless wanderer. He's been down every road in Paldea and knows almost the entire region (except for Area Zero) like the back of his hand.

He's gotten hurt pretty badly throughout the run (ie. the Mikey fight, the Atticus fight, and ESPECIALLY the final battle), however, he does not gain any (physical) scars from those fights. This is bc he's basically an axolotl, and axolotls are usually able to heal without scarring.

Pastey's "arms" are, to put it simply, mud prosthetics. More info here vvv

Pastey HAS met Mall Bingo once before the run, however, he doesn't recognize her. The only reason he does not recognize her is bc she wears glasses. (You know how people somehow aren't able to recognize Superman bc he wears glasses in his civilian attire even tho his face remains the same? It's basically like that lmao)

Unlike the lightbulbs he eats, the gasoline he drinks isn't really mandatory to his diet. Gasoline is like alcohol to him and he drinks it like an absolute CHAMP.

He goes fishing when there's nothing else to do or when he can't sleep at night. He doesn't do this bc he thinks it's fun or anything, only bc it's a "good time passer" or so he claims. Other members of the team will often sit with him and vent out anything that's troubling them at the moment, and Pastey is always there to listen to them.

And that's pretty much it. Next is Joe, Hannah Ü, and Mykyie!

#I am a firm believer that Sara can and will beat ass #No i do NOT plan on making gijinka designs for Chatbike and Phil sorry guys #just getting that out of the way i know how much yall love phil /j /lh #Anyways it feels so good to finally start on this like holy moly #also idk when the others will be done... HOWEVER...#The sketches for Joe Hannah and Mikey are already pretty much done I just gotta make em digital #so ideally they'll be out pretty soonish I'd say... I hope #but yeah if anyone has any questions abt them feel free to send them in my askbox and I'll be happy to answer them as best as i can!#<- No anons tho sorry yall #Also I need to be honest here Lark's outfit kinda does look atrocious and I couldve changed it... BUT...#I honestly thought it was WAY funnier if Lark's attire looked weird on purpose so I kept it like that lol #Anyways sorry for the word vomit here are the tags #friendlocke #friendlocke violet #saltydkdan #should my gijinkas have their own tag...? Sure why not #Violet Gijinka Au #cherris canvas

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humans-are-tasty · 11 months

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#marshall d. teach #blackbeard #blackbeard pirates #one piece #whitebeard pirates #my art #so sometimes i think about how teach stayed on WB ship for close to 30 years #now i know he was fighting and doing his part but still he never tried particularly hard and he was basically living under his dads roof #for his entire adult life #and would have continued to do so if not for the yami yami no mi #anyway after talking with a friend it got me thinking about him as a neet so there #really loose concept and this is just me procrastinating but kind of funny i thought #neet au #about marco since someone mentioned. since he was ship dr and 1st commaner i wouldnt consider him a neet #marco had a lot of responsibilities while teach was just a regular member #so marco would be the more mature and successful older bro #anyway with this i finally drew bb with tired eye bags #like this man doesnt sleep. he should look tired as hell #i feel like im going crazy #i want to draw highschool luffy and discord mod teach having a brawl on the street

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spinjitsuburst · 2 months

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why aren’t there more concepts around the overlord being absolutely terrifying. horror-movie level eldritch being. the embodiment of DARKNESS and EVIL ITSELF should be a terrifying entity not only psychologically but also physically

#the overlord is. so interesting to me.#I want them to be this specific brand of terrifying #which I mean. like I say this as if I don’t want that of half the ninjago villains #kinda being fed finally with people making nadakhan scary which I’ve been wanting since I discovered that bitch can shapeshift #thank you bbnb and the sham #but any shapeshifter in ninjago should be fucking scary #all the oni? should be terrifying including mystake #ALSO THE GHOSTS MORE SCARY S5 ART #anyways I lost my train of thought the overlord should and could be so scary #shakes them around I need. to hyperfixate on them #someone hit me over the head with season 2 3 and crystalized #anyways #I’m gonna. do stuff eventually i’m about to leave for work but when I get free time……..#the overlord #Ninjago #lego ninjago #spinjitsu screams

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badlydrawn-brostrider · 5 months

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[ Merry Christmas to all!! For such a special occasion you make an appearance in full color! ]

[ Maybe you'll stop by the store and grab the ingredients to make coquito. Roxanne would definitely appreciate the little gift. ]

#merry christmas and happy holidays!!#thought i should finally do him in color lol #bro strider #dirk strider #homestuck ask blog #hom3stuck #homestuck #its not technically christmas yet but fuck it #ive gotten christmas themed asks already so lets start kringlefuck early

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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journalists underestimate the magnitude of my addiction and how far i'll go for the bit

#snap chats #im lying i physically could not marathon this i got school LMAO BUT IMAGINE #my god speaking of school i signed up for a japanese history class. because of course i did #i also needed an extra class and i didnt know what else to put LMAO but i might swap it or somn #thinkin i should get back into theater..... i got like two months to decide anyway #i was thinking about how im gonna play IW during streams... if the lord will let me i might stream for 2~3 hours or so #im putting such a small time limit due to Aforementioned School but also idk if my computer can record any longer than that #when i tried saving the video to my flashdrive it only lasted about two some hours right ? maybe 3 if i remember right #i decided to record to my computer's hard drive instead of the usb since it has more space so maybe i can record longer #ill prob do a test run later today and record a nonsense video. i WILL delete it i just wanna see what the limit is #cause my plan is to just Record One -> Upload It -> Delete OG yk. Lazy Susan type of plan #didnt mean to type out my whole gameplan in the tags LOL BUT HEY I WANTED TO TALK BOUT IT AT SOME POINT #my final message is that ive Hopefully preordered the ichi statue. i say Hopefully cause i am once again doing it through jp rabbit #and i didnt get the confirmation it was successful yet so I Will Simply Wait.#point is it was a lot cheapter than i thought it was going to be <3 yay <3 #ok im running out of tags tl;dr im gonna marathon IW until my eyes bleed BYYYE

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adelrambles · 5 months

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Tips on Writing Bishop

I've been asked a couple times for advice on how to write a good (03-style) Bishop, and I'm well-aware he can be a bit tough to get a grasp on. As someone who's studied him specifically to learn how to write him as accurately as possible, I figured I'd compile some thoughts in case it'd be helpful to anyone else. I know a lot of Rise takes on him are basing off the 03 version, so maybe this could help generate ideas, too. SO!

Big Overall Points!

At the core of EVERYTHING Bishop does are two primary motivations. The first: the protection of the earth. What this means to him can get tricky, because it doesn't necessarily mean protecting the people, at least not all of them. But it will be better understood alongside the other:

The second: The protection of his sense of safety. Bishop has been deeply traumatized, and everything he does is born of a want to avoid that pain ever again. In his mind, earth is a safe area, a controllable factor, and anything outside it is a danger that must be eliminated. This is why he will still be willing to put himself and other people on the line in service of this; any sacrifice is worth the greater goal. (It's worth noting, Bishop will claim the first as his motivation freely, but is likely not consciously aware of the second.)

Bishop deals in Big Picture ONLY. Another reason Bishop will willingly throw away anything, including the lives of the people he claims to protect, is that he seems incapable of understanding things on a small, individual basis.

Bishop is a cold personality. He does not have strong displays of emotion. He does emote, but for the most part it's muted, so I recommend using emotional bursts very sparingly. (In my own writing, as an example, I try to limit my use of exclamation marks in his dialogue as much as possible.)

At his core, Bishop is afraid, and his response to fear is aggression. This also makes it particularly difficult to talk him down, if he's put in an emotional state. His response to not being in control is often violent retaliation.

With those basic tenants understood, let's move next to some major personality traits:

Bishop is a controlling personality. This is a direct result of his trauma response. Things that can be controlled are safe, therefore he must control everything. If something cannot be controlled, it's a threat that must be eliminated. If he doesn't know why something happened, he becomes angry (including even when it benefits him.)

Bishop is very low-empathy. When writing him, I try to keep in mind that he cannot put himself in the perspective of others. (Or if he can, he doesn't care to.)

Bishop is a sadist. He gets personal enjoyment from hurting others.

Bishop likes fighting, but only when he's winning. He will quickly leave if he can't see a guaranteed victory.

Bishop is paranoid. This is probably self-evident, but it's the reason he's often so well-prepared even when things don't go to plan.

Bishop genuinely seems to enjoy science. He's shown to be far more lenient with scientist characters than anyone else, and he seems to involve himself in his scientists' projects to a degree. Enough to, at the very least, understand their work. (Given he was the one set to dissect the turtles, it might also be argued he has some medical or biology background, himself.)

Bishop is an opportunist and scavenger. He can roll with failures as long as he can find something to get out of it. If he's presented with an opportunity to stab someone in the back, and he has something to gain? He'll take it without a second thought.

Bishop is deeply self-blind. For all his perceptiveness and strategic prowess, Bishop is not very self-aware in the slightest. He is completely blind to his own hypocrisies, and thoroughly confident in his own righteousness.

Bishop adapts fast. He accepts situations for what they are and acts (Though he may still be angry about them, or what have you.) This is likely a skill developed via longevity; the world around him has changed rapidly, but he doesn't feel out of place at all.

Bishop will take extreme risks and thinks wildly outside the box. Also self-evident, if you're familiar with the plans he enacts throughout the show. He'll put a lot on the line if he thinks the reward is worth enough, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, even if his plans would be considered crazy by normal standards.

Bishop is persistent. If he wants something, he won't stop until he gets it. If he fails, he'll retreat, make a new plan, and try again. It is very difficult to convince him to back down (and certainly not on moral grounds.)

Habits and triggers I've noted:

Being restrained of any sort puts Bishop in a panic. He is more likely to have an emotional response in these scenarios, and seems to have (an albeit muted) desperation to escape. (See: Leatherhead restraining him in the first encounter; His reaction to being trapped on the surgical table in Head of State.)

When being duplicitous or suppressing a reaction, Bishop will go to adjust his tie. This could possibly be considered his tell.

Bishop seems to have a particular fear of aliens blending in as humans. His slayer project was built around the assumption that this is a common threat. (Worth noting: This makes The Shredder the model of the exact threat Bishop is afraid of. Technically, Bishop himself may also fit the description of a threat shaped like a human.)

Writing considerations:

In 03's narrative, Bishop is EPF and EPF is Bishop. Narratively speaking, any organization Bishop is head of acts as if it is an extension of his will and character.

Bishop is shown to strike fear and/or discomfort into most characters he interacts with. Anything beyond this is an outlier, and will draw a reader's attention.

Dialogue-wise, Bishop is generally succinct and blunt. He does dabble in gloating, though, and especially likes to upset others. If he's given a chance to be mean, he'll usually take it. It can help to consider he has a Mission Mode and a Normal Mode. When it comes to Mission Mode, he gets straight to the point and hates unnecessary talking. Otherwise, he's still not very talkative, but will take the time to make pointed jabs or talk through a plan. A lot of his sense of humor seems to be rooted in how He's Better Than You (And You're Going To Die Painfully.)

It's a common pitfall that Bishop is depicted as seeking out the turtles. In 03, once he gets their DNA, he's done with them. Any encounters after that are incidental. Bishop does not care about anything that won't effect his greater goal. If he's targeting another character, it should have to do with a greater plan.

Bishop is an extremely competent combatant, shown to be able to handle up to 7 opponents at once. For a breakdown on his fighting style check out my other post on that!

Bishop is hard to kill, and oftentimes he accidentally contributes to his own defeat. (The hook from Bishop's Gambit is an example I get a LOT of mileage out of, as a perfect symbol of his self-defeating prophecies.)

We almost only ever see Bishop in the context of his work. While it could be construed that he depersonalizes himself, it's much more clear that the narrative depersonalizes him. As far as we, the audience know, Bishop's work is all that he is.

It's unclear if Bishop was released from his abduction or escaped. Depending on which you ascribe to, this can have ramifications for his mindset on how to deal with the alien threat. (Personally, because so much of his inability to cope hinges on a feeling of helplessness, I believe he was released. If he escaped on his own power, that undercuts it, somewhat.)

Thematically-speaking, Bishop parallels both his own torturers and his own victims at the same time. He has perpetuated the cycle that traumatized him in the first place by trying to fight fire with fire. (In that vein, I don't think he's capable of understanding that, not seeing aliens as people in the first place, just dangers. Considering how deeply ingrained his trauma is in his worldview and actions, it would probably ruin him, if he were ever able to actually grasp it.)

Bishop and EPF are likely a commentary on the military of the time 03 was coming out. This can be something worth keeping in mind, when figuring out his greater themes in your story, though it can just as well be discarded if it doesn't fit.

Adding to that, Bishop has an extensive american military background. His skills and knowledge will reflect that.

Bishop also plays on and references a number of real-life alien conspiracies. It can be worth digging through conspiracy history to drum up ideas and themes, too.

The ethical and philosophical quandaries of Bishop's body-hopping and humanity tend to not hold too much weight, because Bishop, himself, doesn't seem to care.

If I think of more I'll certainly be adding on to the reblogs of this post! Or, if you have more thoughts, please feel free to add! If you're in the mood for more Bishop ramblings, that's practically most of this blog atm, but this post is a particular favorite. If you're interested in Fast Forward!Bishop, specifically, consider this post! (also read Taking Pawns. slipped in that self-promo, nice.)

#agent bishop #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #And man I still gotta make an analysis on 2012 Bishop #my man is so underrated #There are only a handful of fics out there that include him at ALL and for the most part I find he's blended with 03's characterization #Which takes away what makes him fun in his own right and muddies 03 Bishop's character basis imo #anyway I had this post on the backburner for a while and finally got the motivation to finish her up #And of course if ever there are more questions on characterizing him I'd be happy to help! I love rambling about this guy ad nauseum #oooh stray thought I should do one for Rat King too. Went through that guy's episodes recently theyre GREAT #I've also been very tempted to compile most of these posts into a big ol video essay. idk if I could pull it off but it sure is an idea

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fxllingout · 5 months

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cross stitched chopper on 14 count aida cloth with dmc threads. this ended up being 8439 stitches + the outlines!

for my first piece of fanart ever i am really really happy with how this turned out :]

screenshot of chopper i was.... re-cross stitching???? is below the cut

#one piece #tony tony chopper #op chopper #one piece fanart #op fanart #cait.art #<- omg new .cait tag goes crazy #never thought it would exist #cross stitch really is my true love and im so glad i finally got to make fanart with it #this originally was gonna be on a shirt for my bf for christmas #pattern ended up a bit big for that so now im giving it to him in a frame instead of on a shirt #but yeah i am really happy with how this turned out #i do know what id need to work on for any future projects should they happen #hopefully they do i have so much fun the past few days #anyways that was 5 days straight of only cross stitch my arms and wrists are fucking tired 😭

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weeklyxero · 7 months

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Cursed are those who turn against the King.

#hollow knight #xero skin #i have replaced more text than i thought i would lol #i should be able to do a final testing playthrough tomorrow :3c

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inkskinned · 2 years

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one of the oddest arguments i've ever gotten into was like. i had agreed to give a dude a chance. we were on a first date. and he got. just. so mad. because i had told him i read about 2-5 books a week.

but he found out it was actually that i listen to 2-5 audiobooks. he was dead set on the idea - that's not reading, it's just listening. that i was lying, somehow, by implying i'd "read" the book.

language has a beautiful ability to adapt over time, particularly in the face of technology. when i "connect to the internet" i'm referencing the oldschool method of literally plugging into the internet - which i very rarely physically do. i roll down my window, which is a reference to the circular mechanical action it used to take. hell - the floppy disc remains our resolute save file icon. when i say i "ran to the store," nobody expects me to actually run - and what my version of running to the store looks like and your version are probably pretty different.

i told the guy, baffled: i look at things through glasses, that's still seeing. nobody complains i'm filtering the image.

he says: that's not the same and you know it.

i use audiobooks because i have adhd, and it makes it so i can actually focus. i am using it to help a medically diagnosed condition.

language also has a really cool ability: when we read something, our brains look at a word and make an image. when we hear a story, our brains hear a word and make an image. whether we hear it or read it - the word means the same thing, written or spoken. there is no quantifiable difference in the knowledge-encoding experience - i still happily hallucinate while i'm listening.

and i just kind of stared at him while he was telling me that "claiming" i had "actually read" a book that i had actually-listened-to was lying

and my only baffled response was like: "... are you gatekeeping the experience of... reading?"

#1. do you think someone who listens to 2-5 books a week DOESNT read with her eyes?#2. i was fucking BLIND for TWO MONTHS #so YEAH maybe im SENSITIVE #3. shut the FUCK up i am not DESTROYING SOCIETY by being like ''hahaha this experience is basically the same for me''#i am still fucking engaging with the literature dude #4. i consider it reading. die mad about it #5. this is just a personal note but they are LITERALLY equivalent to me #bc i mean i guess 7k posts in i should probably finally admit #i have a lowkey form of synesthesia #to be fair i didn't know until like this year when my therapist was like #''... you WHAT''#but like when im talking i see words and when im writing i legit hear them #like HEAR THEM #i just thought everyone had that #thats called thinking #but it turns out the fact that i sometimes mishear a word and write down what i misheard #means maybe i am fuckt a little in my head #anyway obvi when i read i hear the word too #i cAN sometimes see other people's words but it's usually just my own #and i was like #(again)#thats just like how . people talk #but it turns out if u sometimes misread what you're supposed to be saying #something might be . uhhhhhhhh #not normal #fun fact.#it turns out (i havent googled but she said)#that it's not UNUSUAL for neurodiverse people to have like #SOME lowkey form of synesthesia #but we only associate it with REALLY severe cases so we just assume like .... couldn't be me

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abd-illustrates · 2 years

Video

youtube

Crafting Curses for an Old Story | Concept Corner: HEARTLESS #5 (FINALE)

The time has come! Today I am closing the book on the “Heartless” chapter of Concept Corner by delving into the dark powers and potential pasts of the story’s villains, the Wonders! I hope you’ll look forward to what’s in store for the future of Concept Corner as much as I am; but for now, get comfy! and get ready! for the villainous conclusion of this “Heartless”-centric speedpaint saga! 🖤💛

(And - (even though I said as much in the video already) - thanks so, SO much again for showing this silly lil’ video series so much love! I really hope this conclusion to the “Heartless” era of Concept Corner could spark as much joy for y’all who’ve been kind enough to follow it all this time, as y’all’ve sparked for me in making them 😊💖

It’s wild to think how long its been since this series started, but I can’t wait to see where it goes next! Hope you’ll drop by again next time 💖)

#abd illustrates #artists on tumblr #concept corner #heartless #villains #theyre here theyre queer theyre invoking existential fear #the finale!#can you belieeeve #it always feels surreal to upload videos i spend ages putting together but this time especially #also #trying to keep up my new habit of not spoiling the finished artworks for folks so full art post should be coming tomorrow!#pls enjoy!#(and pls do share thoughts if u have em - y'all's energy is what really makes these so special 💖)

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wolfie-bee · 2 years

Text

Ties that bind

read it here as a twitter fic

"You know, when you showed up at my door this morning I didn't wanna let you in." Kara's words are a soft vulnerable truth, but the weight of them lodges deep in Lena's chest.

She knows, had seen the inky lines of mistrust etched across Kara's face that morning when offering the beginnings of an apology and a plea to help stop Lex.

There's tension in the lines of Kara's shoulders and Lena's eyes get stuck there as she looks down at her feet and stacks her hands on her hips. Then they dissolve into silence.

Well why are you still here? Lena wants to ask. Why am I here? But the words feel heavy, hurt springing like blood on her tongue.

Guilt immediately rushes in, you stole from me, you convinced me to steal for you and you used kryptonite on me!! an echoing ring in her ears that instantly liquefies her resolve. Her jaw tenses and ticks, and she dips her head, shifting her eyes away from the otherworldly gravity that Kara's holds.

Kara lifts her head and her eyes fixate on Lena's as the silence stretches, a stormy sea of emotions churning in their blue depths. The intensity in them tenses Lena's spine and she folds her arms tightly across her chest like a physical shield from their direct assault. She doesn't recognize this look, hates the uncertainty as bitter indignation crowds her stomach and the words you betrayed me, you broke my heart lock with startling force behind her ribcage.

"Alex was right," Kara chuckles humorlessly, "I'm not rational when it comes to you. I think with my heart and not with my head."

"Funny, Lex said the same to me."

Kara's expression turns inscrutable, and Lena doesn't know if it's because of the mention of her brother or their similarities when it comes to dealing with each other. She figures it's a little of both.

"But…" Lena continues, swallowing her pride and the lump forming in her throat, "is that such a bad thing?"

Kara doesn't answer. Instead, she lets out a shallow breath, forehead crinkling like this conversation had already become too much. She had shut this conversation down one too many times when Lena had tried to broach it earlier. But damn if it doesn't make Lena want to crawl out of her own skin.

She'd thought they were making some progress, had felt the tentative stirrings of reconciliation as they'd worked together to stop Leviathan.

It's disconcerting that she can't get a read on Kara's eyes as she takes a step back, red boots scuffing against the floor. And Lena's heart aches at the physical distance like an ever widening chasm between them.

"On Krypton, trust was something sacred." Kara starts softly, inhaling a large gulp of air that draws Lena's eyes to the glyph on her chest. "We broke that in each other, we caused each other so much pain and -"

"Pain is a necessary part of life," Lena says hoarsely, the words quivering on her tongue. "I learned that the hard way when Non Nocere failed."

Another bout of silence falls over them and Lena uses it to turn away from Kara, gathering strength for what she's about to say next.

"So I get it. You don't have to trust me in order for us to keep working together."

"But I want to…" Kara answers immediately, and there's earnestness in the soft tremor of her voice. "you came through today at every opportunity and I - I'm not saying that you have to keep doing that but, I want to trust you, Lena. I want to let you in again."

Lena releases the breath she didn't realize she was holding, relief spreading like fissures across her heart, a warm hopeful balm in her veins as she squeezes her eyes shut.

"Kara," she breathes out, lips trembling as she forces out the word. A host of reasons why they shouldn't do this flashes through her mind, the biggest of them being that Lena didn't think that she deserved to hold on to the tentative reins of trust being offered.

She hears her take a step.

Then another.

And another.

Until Kara's pressed right against her, a comforting warmth at Lena's back that makes her heart tremble as those warm familiar hands land on her shoulders. The touch nearly makes Lena flinch. She doesn't know why it surprises her since Kara has always been the more tactile one between them. And her brain stalls in trying to furiously calculate exactly how long they've been apart.

Kara notices, of course she does. She breathes out shakily, hands drifting along the curve of Lena's shoulders and the small of her back.

Lena trembles at the feel of it, her touch starved body aching to be held in Kara's arms again. Because Kara is warmth and light and Lena still loves her with the inevitability of a new day and the gravity that binds them to each other.

Kara's touch is an irresistible force and Lena can't even find it within her to be angry that her defenses were practically nonexistent as the tension melts from her in seconds.

That warmth reaches all the way to her toes as those hands slide in a comforting press down the arch of her spine to settle lightly at her hips. Before Lena can think herself out of it, she turns, just to see her face as the desire to reach out, to touch, loosens the threaded beat of her anxious heart.

The hands on her hips bunches in Lena's blouse almost to the point of contention and she freezes, lifting her eyes to Kara's. This is the closest they've been in a while but the uncertainty in Kara's eyes is almost Lena's undoing. She allows herself a small conciliation, grasping onto the hands already clinging to her, as if that could somehow convey the mix of emotions thrumming inside her chest.

The wall between them all but falls away as Kara loosens one of her hands to reach out and cup her face. Lena leans readily into the contact and Kara's eyes soften, allowing her a glimpse of the woman she'd fallen in love with.

"How do I let you in again?" Kara asks, a shaky plea that loosens tears from her devastatingly attractive eyes. Lena wants to reach up and kiss them away, but her insecurities leave her rooted to the spot.

"Maybe you shouldn't," She answers truthfully, her doubts manifesting as those small broken words.

Kara's palm trembles against her cheek and Lena closes her eyes, moving to shift away. But Kara's other hand presses more insistently against her side, warming her through her clothes and Lena nearly chokes on her name, can't find her voice which gets lost somewhere in the trembling cry struggling to break free.

"I know I hurt you by not telling you my truth." Kara says, drawing Lena's eyes to hers. "And I'm sorry. I haven't had a lot of practice doing this. Growing up I was forced to hide my abilities because the people around me could get hurt and I - I know that's no excuse, but I hope -" Kara stops abruptly, lips trembling too much to continue.

And Lena doesn't want to talk about this anymore, can't talk about it without breaking down again. Her heart aches for Kara, for this woman born of different stars and the hardships she faced. So she closes the rest of the distance, folding herself into Kara's embrace.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She whispers, tucking her face against Kara's neck as those warm arms go around her.

"Lena," the way that Kara says her name has never failed to make Lena's breath hitch. "I hope that one day you can forgive me."

Her trembling arms lock around Kara's shoulders, and Kara nuzzles against her hair, chest expanding as she breathes Lena in. Lena closes her eyes and oh, Kara's touch is grounding and these arms feel more like home than any place on earth ever could.

She doesn't expect the soft lingering kiss that Kara leans in and presses to her temple and the intimacy and affection of it shatters Lena's careful composure. Tears fills her eyes, tears that spill down her face as her breathing shortens and they don't have time for this, they have to stop Lex from whatever he's plotting, they have to -

But patient, gentle Kara frames her face between warm palms, tenderly brushing the tears away with the pad of her thumbs and the anchoring force of another kiss pressed sweetly against her skin.

Her kiss is light dawning in the darkness, darkness that rushes out from Lena's heart and flees from the crevices of her soul as Kara's kisses move across her temple and down to her eyebrows. She doesn't stop, pressing them in reverence across her eyelids, sweeping along the bridge of Lena's nose down to the apple of her cheeks, a sweet calming force that quiets Lena's mind.

It's new, this level of intimacy, the fact that they've never really used kisses for comforting each other in all of their years of friendship. Lena finds that she can't get enough of it, craves the press of Kara's warm mouth on her skin and can't believe that they've never done this before.

She flushes brightly when Kara tilts her chin with a hand covering her jaw to drop a kiss just below Lena's ear and stills long enough for Lena to reopen her eyes.

Kara's cheeks are a lovely red and Lena's eyes get stuck there, admiring their rosy hue. She doesn't know what expression her face forms as Kara moves back a little but they stare at each other, all heavy lidded eyes and soft breaths mingling in the short space between. The staring lengthens to the point where Lena feels like she's about to combust beneath the allure of those magnetic blue eyes.

So she moves in, drawn to Kara, softly touching their noses together. The action elicits a wobbly smile from Kara's pretty pink lips and Lena closes her eyes again, hands falling to grasp onto Kara’s suit clad biceps. Her nose skims across the rise of Kara's cheek, and down to her calming fluttering pulse, overwhelmed by the scent of peaches clinging to her skin.

One of Kara's hands finds her hip again, the other mindlessly tangling in Lena's hair and Lena can't think of a safer place than these arms as she absentmindedly noses along the slope of Kara's neck till the point where the supersuit starts. Her lips tingle where they accidentally meet warm skin and she draws back a little to intentionally press them lightly against the hollow of Kara's throat.

It's a bit concerning that she doesn't have the wherewithal to be mortified by her actions, but Kara's only reaction is a quiet breath against her ear.

So she does it again, soft, tentative.

This time Kara makes a tiny noise of encouragement that fills Lena with ardor and she wants to hear it again, has to hear it again. So she opens her mouth a little and scrapes her teeth along the corded muscles of Kara’s neck, feeling them flutter beneath the soft roll of her tongue. Kara's breathing turns heavy.

Lena delights at the response and the feeling of Kara's fingers tightening in her hair. She grows bolder with her kisses, moving back up Kara's neck and across the line of her jaw like a woman possessed.

This isn't something that best friends do. But right now they weren't even friends. And Lena's always been a little too in love with Kara to truly make her an enemy.

"Lena," Kara says, the name a soft aching sigh as Lena presses a litany of sweet kisses along Kara's soft reddened cheek, unable to stop or draw herself away as those fingers clench tighter in her hair.

Kara's breathing is a mess, and she closes her eyes as Lena carefully tucks a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, lips still pressed to soft warm skin.

"I'm sorry too." She whispers, soft, penitent. The tears come again, the shame at what she'd done a suffocating force as her lips tremble against Kara's skin, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. "I hurt you and I know I can't make up for what I did but I promise, I'm going to try."

Kara's hand slips beneath the blouse that had loosened from where it had been tucked in her jeans and Lena's breath hitches as her warm hand lands on equally warm skin. She kisses Kara's cheek again, pressing closer, feels like they aren't truly close enough as she kisses her again and again.

Kara's lips catch the last kiss aimed for the corner of her mouth and her hand slides around to Lena's lower back, making Lena's heart flutter.

She doesn't lose stride, if anything, she's embolden, her silken mouth parting Lena's lips with a soft tremor. The kiss immediately deepens, no prelude, no hesitancy, only a soothing whisper of Lena's hands moving to tenderly frame Kara’s face and kisses as inevitable as freefall.

Kara's kisses are transcendental and Lena's mouth parts below hers as her thumbs sweep against the apple of Kara's cheeks, lips aching with apologies and promises.

The crest of the House of El presses tight against her chest and Lena presses a palm directly over it, a silent promise, a deep shuddering breath escaping her lips as Kara's second hand moves to join the other as they frame the dips on her lower back.

Lena's hands shift to tangle in the red cape on Kara's back as she kisses her with salt on her lips and forgiveness on her tongue. Kara's mouth trembles against hers, a reminder of the more difficult parts of the conversation still to come and a sweet tentative taste of the reconciliation awaiting them.

Happy Supercorp Sunday everyone!! Once again this fic was written on Twitter today in response to the gif tweeted above by @CSIRJen who's awesome and just provides inspiring tweets that make me write these weird little stories 😅 thank you to everyone who's gotten this far, I'm always amazed when people read all of my rambling words.

#supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor #kara danvers #ties that bind #s5x19 scene extension #basically i saw supercorp's handshake in this scene and thought the cee w could have done better #my toxic trait is that anytime i see s5 angst as a gif or video i think supercorp should just hug and kiss about it #so here is me making them do exactly that #nothing like kisses to heal wounds 🥺💗#my writing #my fics #supercorp twitter fic #twitter fic chaos #s5 finale re-do?#happy supercorp sunday

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