#i think this is pretty normal bc numbers in general are fucked up.
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girl who when studying a language will learn to count to ten and only to ten
#tep.txt#i think this is pretty normal bc numbers in general are fucked up.#but it's really bad with latin. i can read the vulgate but as soon as theres a number im whipping out duckduckgo
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luztoye love languages - please give me in depth thoughts
>:)
i have soooo many thoughts on this and you are about to hear them. all. im breaking my knuckles and getting into this. all Love Languages Ranked In Order Of Strength. Luztoye Version <3
5 - words of affirmation:
first, with nicknames. toye tends to swing towards more traditional nicknames (sweetheart, beautiful, etc) and uses them pretty often
he feels like he's not exactly Great with talking, so putting what he can into words through nicknames is his best way to show luz what he's thinking without him becoming overly defensive
luz is. all over the map with nicknames. he ranges from the good ol' fashioned ‘no homo’ names (buddy/pal/etc) to the most unhinged nicknames he can think of (i.e. pillowcase) to Normal Nicknames. toye literally could not gaf less
ok and i mean like look. as far as weaknesses go, i think they're p far up there on the communication scale. these motherfuckers don't talk. u know that bit in himym where robin and barney never talk about their problems and instead just Fuck. bc that's what they do
4 - receiving gifts:
look. gift giving rarely crosses their minds. not because they don't care about it, but because they genuinely just don't think of it
when two people are in the same vicinity a lot/work together/are never separated - like in the army - there isn't a lot of room for grand gestures and gift giving and the likes
they settle into giving each other small things on holidays/birthdays (cigarettes, ticket stubs, etc) but it hardly matters whether or not someone says something or gives them something
3 - quality time:
melds into the above. they spend so much time together no matter where they are (from proximity in the army to post-war living together) that everything they do is in a love language, in a way
they'd watch a lot of movies. luz is literally obsessed with funny face when it comes out and has seen the gay divorcee Too Many Times. toye's favorite is you were never lovelier, he can quote most of the scenes. yes these are all fred astaire movies shh
they're the same way with music. they don't have a lot of money after the war, and what they can save goes into a turntable and whatever vinyls they can find.
it's mostly billie holliday (obviously). but there's a lot of duke ellington in there as well, and, later on, a bunch of eartha kitt.
2 - acts of service:
luz really, really likes working with his hands. he's obsessed with fixing things, and oftentimes, it's things that weren't even broken.
when he's stressed out, he tends to tear apart whatever he can find (the sink, the fridge, etc) and then trying to put it back together
this often translates into him subconsiously doing whatever he can to 'fix' toye
he doesn't even realize that he's doing it, really. toye does, but doesn't say anything, because he knows it's how luz finds whatever equilibrium he's working with
the general rule is that luz is able to fuck around with anything of toye's except for the crutches, the leg, or the chair. everything else is fair game
it almost is a game, at this point - the best way to tell what kind of day luz is having is by looking at the state of Disarray around the apartment
toye doesn't say anything about it, and it's often put back together the next day. when it's not, he puts it back together himself
1 - physical touch:
number one for luztoye always and forever for One Million Years. they r touchy, your honor.
most of their touches are small - hands on knees/shoulders, brushing along the backs of necks, etc. they're much more reserved in public, but those stick with them
i've included it in literally every single one of my luztoye wips, but toye is definitely the type of person to be like. Crush My Soul Back Into My Body.
luz is just genuinely a touchy person, all the time, and he tends to be uber touchy with toye. like a fucking octopus.
i could go nsfw sooooo quickly but like. i shall Withold and instead just say. i have Too Many Thoughts on this
thank you sooo much for the ask bestie! i truly had the greatest time contemplating this <33
#rie answers#disastrouscanasta best asks ever tbh#luztoye#george luz#joe toye#joseph toye#band of brothers#hbo war
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Personal skills for the awakening kids
i wish awakening had personal skills SO BAD it's not even funny.
anyway. i thought up some personal skills for the 2nd gen. these are all made within the context of 3h as that's the au that's been swimming about in my head for several weeks hence any reference to those mechanics but pls enjoy :) :)
lucina
gee, lucina, how come mum lets YOU bring the overpowered game mechanic to other games--
basically just the engage chain attack feature as lucina there is The Chain Attack Emblem. killassisting killstealing left and right. would serve really well with 3h's love of chunky hp monsters. the weapon durability aspect is kind of incentive to always have her equip falchion (3h regalia should NOT have limited durability and in THIS essay i will--) or a forged training weapon as the damage is fixed.
this probably could transfer to fateswakening where this would proc on top of normal dual strikes, but another option i thought up for her would be the ability to dual strike for anyone as long as the targeted enemy is within her movement range (i.e. she can dual strike without being adjacent to an ally)
owain
i wanted to make the fateswakening trio's skills distinct from their fates counterparts... though i wouldn't be able to use aching blood in a 3h setting anyway as it has no weapon naming feature. truly tragic.
this is probably self-explanatory: owain does extra damage when using any attack that has a name bc He Gets Excited. it would apply to each individual strike rather than the total damage number, and part of me wonders if this would make 3h-astra actually viable.
also, rip to like half the crests in 3h which have this exact effect but separate and worse since they're a non-guaranteed proc. we honour your sacrifice so owain could rise
inigo
3h's authority makes rally skills pretty easy to get, but the fact they only affect one unit means i barely use them and it makes me sad. inigo deserves his funky little rallies and he will GET his funky little rallies.
this skill would also apply to the stat boost from special dance (though not the dance effect itself).
not much else to say. i just think this skill is neat
brady
this is basically the skill stealth, which is otherwise exclusive to the thief/assassin/trickster classes in 3h. it puts the unit at the bottom of the priority list for enemy attacks so they will only be attacked if there are NO other viable targets.
great for a healing brady. i always put him in a support role so this is perfect for me. less great if you want brady to be a combatant as it limits what you can do on enemy phase, but you could still use it to your advantage
i just have this image of enemies seeing a healer on the battlefield, going to attack them, and then being hit by this Stare of Promised Violence that makes them back off and decide to attack,, idk. fucking dedue instead. and brady is sitting here confused bc he didn't do anything (it's just his normal face)
kjelle
She Will Not Be Knocked Over. armour too strong. 10/10. truly a GET DOWN MR PRESIDENT skill of all time, as she has earned
this skill means she takes the damage but doesn't get movement sealed or debuffed or anything after being hit by a gambit. Not Even The Force Of Ten Dozen Men Charging Will Faze You.
a fateswakening equivalent i considered would be preventing specifically armour-effective damage i.e. from hammers or armourslayers, so they just deal normal damage instead (or, in fates' case, the weapons get hit with the non-effective target debuff).
cynthia
basically a stronger but more situational variant of elise's and flayn's lily's poise. all about protecting the vulnerable, plays into her more sensible (read: comparative to owain) idea of heroism.
i personally like this a lot bc i always always go falcon knight cynthia (it feels better) and cynthia with a healer flavour... mwah.
i'm generally a massive fan of aura skills (i.e. buffs to allies within a certain range of a unit) and this is the type of skill that could definitely save your units after an unfortunate mistake
severa
THE COUNTERPART TO BERUKA'S PERSONAL THAT SELENA SHOULD HAVE HAD. NO I WILL NOT TAKE CRITICISM they did her SOOO dirty with her fates personal--
aside from being perfect personality-wise (she WILL prove she is better than others--), this also syncs well with most classes severa will find herself in. swords are pretty much wholly 1-range weapons, so are usually facing a counterattack, except the levin sword...but nobody is rushing to give her that. (she has a 10% MAG growth in awakening, which is quite literally the lowest available...)
i wanted to name this competitive but apparently that's takumi's personal skill name. so rude of him
gerome
local teenager fixates on dragons, more at 6
he's studied dragons + minervikins so hard he knows how to fight beside them in a way that lets them fight to the fullest. also he gets so secretly happy (and it is secret do not tell a soul) to be next to a dragon that he too fights better.
this would apply equally to wyvern units and units that are dragons in non-dragon classes e.g. a mage nah.
gerome <3
yarne
the original name of this skill was sudden brevity until i realised brevity does not mean what i clearly thought it did when i wrote it.
an improved version of strong riposte from fates. poor yarne spends so much time wanting to hide on player phase that any damage he is directed to deal is only mediocre, but when enemies attack HIM on ENEMY phase, he's like oh shit gotta survive--
DONT MESS WITH A BUNNY indeed :)
laurent
3h's limits on spell learning means this basically has a cap of +10 in the late game, but even that is still mega broken. this skill would serve as a really strong incentive to train his reason/faith in the early game and the extra power you get from learning spells would scale well as you progress further.
now that the meta is out the way, this skill is like when a character (not necessarily a fe one) gets a new skill in a game and there's this super exaggerated powerup sound effect and a victory quote, and you're just like... 'all you learned was how to wear heavier armour' but with THIS skill it's actually VALID
knowledge = power and also justification for laurent joining the cast of fodlan characters found near exclusively in the library
noire
it's a little criminal that awakening wasn't able to give us something that reflects noire's blood and thunder state in combat aside from her crit quotes, so this is what i came up with.
the more she fights, the more BLOOD AND THUNDER she gets.
it makes the most sense that her offense would be the one boosted, and even though she's an archer she can fill a good role as a mixed attacker (i WISH awakening had a shining bow), hence STR/MAG being boosted. i briefly considered SPD, but noire has one of the best base speed growths in the game anyway (before growth inheritance; she's on par with lon'qu and a speed-boon robin, and weirdly only beat out by PANNE with 55 base speed for some reason) so it'd be a little redundant when she already doubles everything
nah
this is based off that odd quirk of nah's where she always forgets she can turn into a dragon. i think of her support with f!morgan all the time, where she spends ages trying to learn how to catch a wyrmslayer and in the end realises it was a wasted effort bc she doesn't even fight in her human form and her dragon arms are too small to do what she learned.
"until engaging in combat" applies to combat initiated with nah on either player OR enemy phase. you'd have to have her avoid combat completely for this skill to build up. it would apply to offensive non-damaging magic e.g. silence, but wouldn't apply to healing, so nah could spend her time doing that.
this is a skill you need to dedicate yourself to using yourself, but in the hypothetical scenario where she's a boss, this skill is absolutely terrifying. especially if you took all the limiters off. it would actually make for a very fun map i think--the best fe maps are those that make you go on the offensive IMO, but that's not exactly what this post is about, so i'll move on.
f!morgan
i've made separate skills for the morgans because their supports are different enough that they feel like different characters to me, even if just slightly. it's why i always like them as twins.
what i wanted with the morgans is a skill that hints at what they were before losing their memory and joining the shepherds. for this one, though she is a wyvern lord in future past 2 she is a malig knight in my heart. they just hadn't yet invented malig knights when they made her. this skill is based on its lvl15 skill, savage blow. (to be clear, the 5 extra damage would also apply after combat).
this is a fun one that's good for crowd control and mopping up large groups of enemies, especially with the existence of 3h canto where you can just swoop out of enemy range after obliterating their movement.
it's a very fitting skill if you have morgan in, say, a wyvern class or even dark flier. but if you put her in a dainty little base pegasus knight class... the image of a fragile little pegasus that will fall to like two axes hunting people down is kind of hilarious. sorry morgy
m!morgan
last but not least, the son himself... likewise to f!morgan, i wanted this skill to reflect who he was before the shepherds. he's a sorcerer in the future past 1, which is why i wanted this skill to be dark magic based. both morgans having skills that debuff enemies is another intentional choice.
it's loosely based upon the -taker skills. this skill isn't as powerful as them (you get less stat per proc and the cap is smaller) but you can gain the boosts without delivering the killing blow and you have more variety in what boosts you can get. morgan tends to be a jack-of-all-trades like robin, so an all-round boost is good for him.
past morgan was probably pretty scary with this, but present morgan without a hint of memory now just goes around Yoinking enemy stats. Morgan Says Teehee Mine Now. as he should :)
#p.s. i'm in the market for better names for some of these skills (mostly luci/inigo/m!morgan's) so if you have suggestions... hmu#fe13#fire emblem#fire emblem awakening#fe awakening#fe lucina#fe morgan#fe owain#fe inigo#fe brady#fe kjelle#fe cynthia#fe severa#fe gerome#fe yarne#fe laurent#fe noire#fe nah#awakening kids ever beloved sons and daughters always
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seraphina shaw - character information
EDIT: this reference sheet is old and I no longer use this account (for now). for seraphina's latest reference sheet, click here
HELLO EVERYONE IT'S FINALLY HERE. ignore how I said this'd be finished by halloween bc that turned out to be a fucking lie
anyways <3 new OC. this is seraphina and she's been stewing for a pretty long time. she's a part of the hellcrew (which is lead by @sanityisforlosers but I'm sure you know. check his shit out if you don't know though please and thank you)
info below the read more cut! please click the image for higher quality.
GENERAL
name: seraphina shaw
alias: N/A
nickname(s): sera
gender: female (trans, mtf)
pronouns: she/her
age: 24 (agelocked), 41 (actual age)
date of birth: 7 november, 1981
date of death: 13 september, 2006
location of birth: glasgow, scotland
location of death: glasgow, scotland
cause of death: two gunshots in the back
race: white
ethnicity: scottish
species: human (formerly), entity (current)
sexual orientation: pansexual
relationship status: single. seraphina claims to be ‘above’ romance
TYPE OF KILLER
seraphina shaw is a demonic entity primarily known for her knack for prolonged torture, which in most (but not all) cases leads to death. all harm inflicted upon her victims is done within a torture room she herself has set up.
seraphina has no particular type in mind when picking victims out, but they most often are individuals in the range of 18-25. they can be older, but are never younger. within the captive time, the victim will endure physical, psychological and sexual torture. oftentimes, the victim either succumbs to their attained injuries or due to neglect.
notably, seraphina keeps track of how long she has kept her victims in what would be angel numbers if it weren’t for her victims not making it past double digits. these would include days 11, 22, 33, etc… while the anguish caused does make seraphina stronger, what she does is purely with the goal of satisfying her whimful desires, and the primary reason for it all is for her own enjoyment.
while she has amassed plenty of tools to her disposal, her go-to weapon remains a blade that, while closely resembling a flat-ended carving knife, appears to be several inches longer than the average blade of that category. a gun does the trick if necessary too, though.
PERSONALITY
loud, crass, hedonistic. all words that describe seraphina accurately. she is the kind of woman who puts her own needs first before thinking of anybody else (if she does at all). such attitude would normally not pass, but seraphina carries herself with enough swagger and is charismatic enough to often get away with her often ludicrous endeavours.
she can be alarmingly easy to get along with, her natural charisma and flirtatious personality making her less desirable traits appear more like manageable quirks at first.
seraphina has a notable disdain for authority and deeply dislikes being told what to do. tell her to do one thing and she will do the opposite purely to spite you. paired with this rebellious nature is her urge for excessive, lethal indulgence; sex, booze, drugs, murder. little is off limits in her books, and her inappropriate behaviour could nearly equate to insanity. however, seraphina thinks clearly, is self aware and instead simply does not care for her amorality or its consequences.
despite her seemingly outgoing personality, seraphina is surprisingly closed off. while amiable on a surface level, getting to know her on a more personal level is incredibly difficult due to her refusal to speak of her past, or to open up emotionally. this is due to a lot of her zaniness heavily being played up and exaggerated, nearly as a character of sorts. in reality, she is rather dry and especially terminally bored with a lot of things. this leads to a negative feedback loop in which she continues to edge towards further extremes just to keep herself engaged.
APPEARANCE
from head to toe, seraphina strives to exude one thing, and that is sex appeal. she wouldn’t actually have to do much, as her appearance already is quite striking: albinism renders her chin-length hair a near-white blonde and her skin as pale as can be. her eyes are a lilac colour, the hue taking up the entirety of her eyes, leaving no distinguishment between sclera, iris or pupil (a feature inherent to entities).
much taller than average, she stands at 6’3”, and her height can often vary depending on the high heeled boots she wears. while appearing feminine, dainty would be the wrong word to describe her. being robust in build, however, does not subtract from her grace, instead serving to embolden her boisterous demeanour.
choices of clothing either fall under the following: leather or latex, and the tighter-fit, the better. contrasting her complexion, she most often wears black, but isn’t afraid to wear a splash of colour (the colour of choice often being purple, which matches her eyes, or red). despite seemingly dressing to impress, there still seems to be a modicum of practicality to some of her outfit choices. enough space in her clothes to conceal a weapon, heels often sturdy enough to be able to run in. most importantly: she exudes an intimidating aura.
a notable feature is a pair of bullet wounds on her upper back, which appear to be aligned surprisingly symmetrically. she jokingly claims it’s ‘where her angel wings used to be’.
RELATIONSHIPS
in life:
unspecified mother and father (deceased)
several unspecified romantic partners (status unclear)
in hell:
seamus wrynn (© me lol) - the man seraphina died to. despite all the events that have happened between them previously, they both seem alarmingly unbothered by their history and instead are friends. seamus claims that she was one of his ‘favourite’ helpers.
julius doherty (© @sanityisforlosers) - the demon seraphina is a proxy to. the two of them appear to get along quite well.
killian lynch (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. weirdly enough, the two get along decently. however, due to the both of them being the way they are, they aren’t particularly close.
kelly duffy (© @sanityisforlosers) - fellow proxy. despite past seamus-related incidents, they seem to get on just fine.
BACKGROUND
having grown up in poverty-stricken glasgow in the 90’s, life was destined to be rough for seraphina. being born in a run-down neighbourhood and surrounded by heroin exposed her to hardship early on, and it played a big part in the way she is today. she was a troublemaker from the start, frequently getting into physical altercation and consuming substances at a relatively young age.
having realised that something wasn’t quite right in her teenage years, she still suppressed feelings of gender incongruence both out of denial and a fear of being fully expelled from her social circles.
at 19, she eventually came out and started living her truth as a trans woman, effectively leading to her being cut off from everybody she knew. due to her consumerist tendencies and severe addiction to gambling, seraphina got into pretty bad debt and lives in a financially precarious position.
desperate for money, she took up a rather suspiciously well-paying offer in which she was required to assist in unspecified photography. this later turned out to be help with seamus wrynn’s latest snuff-adjacent project. initially horrified, she considered opting out. however, much to her initial horror, money ended up not being the only thing that enticed her into staying. as she was beginning to enjoy this more and more, her behaviour became increasingly more out of line and more difficult for seamus to manage. now inconvenienced, seamus killed seraphina by shooting her twice in the back after she attempted to sexually assault him.
due to unclear reasons (presumably because seamus considered her to be one of his favourite ‘assistants’), seraphina was brought back from the dead as an undead entity and now is a proxy to julius the dressmaker.
MISCELLANEOUS
🌟 seraphina has albinism. as a human, she struggled quite a bit due to the condition and a lack of general accommodation. as a demon, however, the drawbacks of her condition are rendered null.
🌟 upon being brought back from the dead, julius assisted seraphina with her medical transition, being the one to give her gender affirming surgery.
🌟 seraphina was initially intended to be written as a cis woman. however, upon examining her involvement with seamus and the events leading up to it, I sniffed out a metaphor for queer self-discovery (although under very dark circumstances). however, if she had been written as such not much about her character’s base premise would have actually changed.
🌟 her name was initially supposed to be seraphine. however, it was changed to seraphina because it flowed more nicely into her surname
🌟 she wasn’t actually supposed to be a standalone horror character at first. her initial role was to serve as a protagonist for one of the stories planned for seamus, but I grew attached to her quite quickly and found that she had more potential.
#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta art#creepypasta oc#horror#horror oc#hellcrew#hellcrew oc#seraphina shaw#julius the dressmaker#jeff the killer#eyeless jack#jane the killer#nina the killer#homicidal liu#ben drowned#laughing jack#jason the toymaker#puppeteer creepypasta#creepypasta incorrect quotes#nathan the nobody#sally williams#creepypasta fanart
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little pre-warning for suicide (i'm fine though!!)
sorry if this isn't articulated very well but like. i got into ofmd only last october when season 2 was airing and i still remember it's bc i got a clip on tiktok of the "is that blackbeard?" "no, i'm blackbeard" scene which is SUCH a good fucking hook btw. and before watching it i kind of actually hated it LOL like people do with anything that's popular and Everywhere it just oversaturates sometimes. and it made me feel kind of silly to go back on my own opinion but i didn't even really dwell on that bc me getting into it also happened to coincide with a failed suicide attempt (that kind of funnily also included a gun that misfired like in-show lol). and like i was pretty understandably all over the place, but generally still in the "i want to live" moment that happens right after you nearly properly die. and the thing about suicide recovery is that you don't actually want to recover. so it was a really up and down left and right kind of situation and you're left feeling kind of like a puppet with no strings that's also been thrown into the ocean or something.
but then i liked this show that was funny and silly and i also got to see trans and gay people existing happily and normally which isn't necessarily NEW but it did feel really cool and unique to be able to go Oh and this is the moment where they would usually leave it to subtext and then they actually KISS and it's like woahhhh. i didn't know they could do that... and then as i was still processing what was happening with my own life and like mortality i got to see this character go through the exact same thing and come out on the other side of it ENTIRELY by himself and experience love and self determination and actualisation and i'm not saying it made me want to do it myself but it did feel like a really personal thing for me (hence anon also lol).
and for the few weeks it was coming out i got to sit there and think about how he was doing and it gave me another reason to not do something again. like i am so definitely not the only one who can say "this show saved my life" but honestly it literally did. like there's that thing when you're suicidal where the things that you're sticking around for are the only things you've got so they're as important as anything even if it's like... going to a concert the following week or something. or getting a burger. and i really honestly stuck around just to love this show and my cat.
it's been a few months now ofc and it still sucks and i'm not better or anything but being able to indulge in something fun for fun's sake is the biggest source of joy in my life and tbh it's not gonna go away just because there's going to be no season 3. when i'm feeling too much of particularly anything i have a handy little balm which i know everyone feels but still. a little gifset of ed always makes me feel better if i'm freaking out so it's cool i don't care if it's a bit lame. i'm a bit sad for season 3 and everyone being sad is also making me sadder but i still have a lot of love left so ah. it'll be fine :)
if anything i hope this inspires people to have a little boom in the numbers re: content now that we know there'll be no canon to possibly diverge from and we can make up our OWN season 3 ‼️ which will be fun :)
hi anon sorry i didn't reply to this yesterday i wanted to sit and think about what to say
and then i didn't really come up with anything lmao other than you're right and i love you and i love this show and it's so incredibly important to me and so groundbreaking in so many ways and has made me feel seen in a way that no other piece of media ever has. the queer rep is groundbreaking. the portrayal of ed's suicidality moved me beyond words. there are dozens of other people sharing stories about how ofmd helped them to come out or meet their partner or start transitioning or quit something that was making them unhappy. i watched s2 at a time while i was really struggling with post-covid symptoms. i've met so many incredible people through this fandom. i think about the show dozens of times a day. the show brought me so much joy and they can't take that away
they can't ever take away how special it was and how much it's changed people's lives
i'm very excited to see what the amazing fic writers in this fandom are going to give us in place of s3. i just wish we could've had the rest of the story david wanted to tell
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i want a st fic where steve starts doing porn and then maybe eventually blue mags bc he's strapped for cash and, like, he knows he's hot, he's regularly told he's hot, he absolutely has that sweet-boy-next-door vibe and also hunky-jock can-pick-you-up-and-fuck-you-against-the-wall kinda thing. And, like, why not. He's good at it (he's regularly told that's all he's been good for) and it pays...well, decently enough, at least, even if it's not excellent. Quickly becomes fairly popular, because he's kind of just an every-man that every man wants to be, y'know?
Current mental debate is if I want this to be modern or time-accurate, bc both if them have their pros and cons. Modern!AU then we get this fancy thing called the internet where he could maybe start as an 'amature' solo channel, y'know? but also we could do time accurate and have it be where after vecna is destroyed eddie (and wayne) get whisked away by the government bc hawkins is still out for blood or whatever, and steve had to FIGHT to get him his phone number. anyway, steve and robin go to Indianapolis, so robin can go to school and steve finds a job at a (gay) bar that he doesn't realize at first is a gay bar, and one night he thinks he's getting hit on but actually he's getting a job offer (for porn)
actually i take my first sentence back, i want him to do blue mags first (it's an easier jump in. he's used to pictures, being still and looking pretty and empty-headed is one of the few things his mother ever praised him for) and at first he does, like, the 'normal' stuff but then he branches out into the easy kinkier stuff like lace and leather and collars and chains
his most famous photoshoot (the one that eddie finds, bc listen, he's still basically a teenager, and he knows what he likes, and he's talked to steve on the phone at least once a week for a year, traded shitty polaroids that traveled halfway across the country ((they got settled into Portland, OR maybe? idk yet) anyway most famous photo shirt is generally categorized as 'The Club' pics, and he's wearing smeared red lipstick and running mascara and glitter in the chest hair over his tits. Tight little red lace panty and bra set that match the color of his lipstick, and a cropped leather jacket. (eddie basically implodes, bc holy shit did janky polaroids not prepare him for THAT) the photos look almost like paparazzi shots, taken with a bright flash to highlight the glitter and the sweat. in one of them he's got his head thrown back, taking a shot (it's just apple juice. steve doesn't drink. hasn't done anything more intense than the occasional joint since the russians)
robin convinces him to move to san francisco after the kids graduate and scatter (she doesn't have to convince that hard, tbh) (besides, he hasn't seen the ocean since he was really little, and his grandparents were still alive) (this is where he starts doing porn?)
(eddie still hasn't told steve that he knows) ((it's not that steve's ashamed or anything, but, well, he knows the stereotypes and he knows exactly what kind of risque stuff he does))
idk how else it would go, other than eddie and steve get together and eddie...becomes an artist? i think that'd be fun. (don't get him wrong, music will always be his first true love, but once upon a time he played a one-man-band performance that kinda helped save the world, and he still gets shaky hands if he thinks about it) or maybe also steve's primary photographer?
anyway. steve does porn, there's feels about it.
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im posting the eddie chapter of my barbarella!steve au here bc im so generous. all you really gotta know is Steve is a space explorer and on his advanced planet they only have sex w/each other for procreation and every other time they use toys and machines until he crash lands on a more primitive planet
AO3 link for those that want tags
There is a bit of Billy in the beginning but he does not show up past that.
Steve's outfit after he changes
Preview:
“Didn’t think you’d want to be alone”, Eddie said, coming to the front of the bed. “You’re all alone on a foreign planet. I’ve got to be a hospitable host.” He reached down and lifted one of Steve’s legs by the ankle.
Steve watched as Eddie removed the boot, kissing his calf through the mesh on his leg. That wasn’t one of the erogenous zones he had learned about, and yet his heart skipped a beat. Eddie gently lowered that leg and did the same to the other, kissing his knee this time.
“Very hospitable. Are you going to take care of me all night?”, Steve asked.
Eddie let his hand brush the outside of his thigh. “That’s all I wanna do, Steve.”
Steve felt an impulse and he followed it, spreading his legs a little, inviting Eddie in.
After his romp with Billy, Steve was promptly given a land speeder and granted permission to be on his way. This vehicle was archaic. It still utilized wheels rather than hovering off the ground.
“Having a bit of friction is a better feeling. Don’t you agree?”, Billy had said when he gave Steve the keys.
Steve’s clothes hadn’t survived Billy’s hands but he had been given a sleek little red number to wear, along with some boots that matched.
“I told you I’d wrap you up in something pretty.”
Steve had thanked Billy for his cooperation. And then he took off. Feeling every bump in the road was probably a fun experience on a normal day, but not on this day. Not only was Steve still aching from his roll in the sheets, but the fatigue of his adventure was catching up with him.
In the past day he had crashed, been shot at, traveled over the mountains, been chased down, punched out a guy, and now he was still on the move. He was just thinking about the luxuries of home, a nice long bath, a soft bed, the lullaby of his ship’s beeps and chirps as he saw the horizon of a city come up. Black buildings jutted up towards the sky.
This place looked more developed than what he’d seen thus far, but he still would practice caution. And then he saw it. Plain as day, the satellite was right there on the edge of the city.
Steve stopped short of it. The CEF emblem was shown proud on it. But it was damaged badly. Thankfully, his job wasn’t to repair it. His signal was a little weak and he was walking around the satellite, trying to find a stronger one to send his coordinates when he heard some very loud whispering coming from behind a boulder nearby.
“Who is he?”
“Whoever he is, he’s messing with my discovery. Will, do something!”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Disorient him or something.”
“We don’t know if he’s dangerous yet.”
“There’s a literal weapon hitched to him.”
“Guys shut the fuck up I think he heard you!”
“Um, hello? Whoever that is, I mean you no harm”, Steve called out, holding his arms up.
He took a step forward but before he could take another he felt a sharp pain like something hit his head. Steve fell to the ground as he lost consciousness. He was able to hear feet approaching him and what sounded like children arguing before it all went black.
When he came to, it was to a dark room and what felt like silk sheets under him. He let out a groan and that was when the room began to illuminate. Some lamps turned on, giving everything a soft glow without making it too bright.
“Where am I?”
“Far from home, it looks like.”
Steve jolted to a sitting position, not expecting anyone to answer. But he groaned in pain at the movement.
“Whoa there, no sudden movements now”, the voice said, starting to move.
“I’m not an animal”, Steve said, feeling a little annoyed from his discomfort.
“No, that would be whoever did this to you.” A man sat by him and gestured to the fresh marks Billy had left on him.
Steve brought a hand to his neck, suddenly self conscious in front of the man before him. His wild, dark curls spilled over his shoulders. He wore leather all over him, straps on his legs and a harness across his chest. The skin he could see was illustrated with tattoos.
“Then again, my little pack of beasties didn’t do much better. Let’s get you a bath, huh?”, the man said before standing up.
Steve looked himself over and saw that he was covered in dirt and other debris. “Your beasties? What happened to me?”
“Some of the children of my court. Said they found you messing around with that space junk. Part of it fell off and conked you right on the noggin.” He went through a door and turned a light on. In seconds, Steve heard the sound of running water.
He brought a hand to where he had felt the pain and let out a hiss. So that’s why. And he could guess at why he was so dirty now if a bunch of children found him but the man explained anyway.
“They dragged you all the way here. They could’ve just called for a transport but kids, you know? What’re you gonna do?” He came out and looked Steve up and down. “Can you walk alright.”
“Yes, I should be able to-” Steve ate his own words as he stumbled but was quickly caught before he could crash to the floor.
“Careful there, sweet thing.”
“Steve. My name is Steve.”
The man smiled. “And you can call me Eddie. Oh Runner of Baths, whichever floats your boat.”
Eddie helped Steve to his feet and led him to the bathroom. It was already steaming from the hot water. Steve could’ve cried. It felt like days since he had bathed. And now that he thought about it, it literally was. He moved away from Eddie and began to undress, thinking of only getting clean until he caught their reflections in the mirror. It hadn’t quite fogged up yet and Steve could see the look in Eddie’s eyes clear as day.
The way Eddie was looking at him was…different. Different from the way that either Jonathan or Billy had looked at him. But Steve was coming to know those looks all under one word: desire.
He slowed his hands a bit, making a little show of undressing. He was also seeing the bites that Billy had left for the first time and wondered if they would bother Eddie. Wondered if he would see him as less desirable. But Eddie’s gaze only got heavier as more skin was revealed to him. Now Steve was wondering if Eddie would replace Billy’s marks with his own.
“Now how’d such a pretty thing like you fall into a dirty place like this?”
“I um, my ship. My ship, it needs repairs.” Steve felt like his voice was wavering and he didn’t understand why.
“Well”, Eddie held a hand out to Steve and helped him step into the water, looking as content as if he was the one sinking in when Steve let out a soft sigh. “We’ll see if we can do something about that. Your satellite too. Can’t have my kids running around broken equipment like that?”
“You mean they don’t make a habit of scavenging like that?”, Steve raised a brow. Those kids seemed hardier than most, ready to take out a full grown man at the drop of a hat.
“Oh they’ve got the tendencies of a junkyard dog. But they’re also clever. Almost too much.”
Eddie took a step back and Steve almost grabbed for him. It felt like there was a string connecting them now that he didn’t want to break.
“I’ll get you a change of clothes. Take your time.”
Steve did, soaking and lounging in the bath for quite a while before actually getting to clean himself. He even dunked his head to wash his face and hair, then stayed for a bit, just savoring the feel of being surrounded by water. At some point, when was lost in one of these actions, Eddie had left a towel and an outfit on a hanger. Steve got out and dried himself off. He looked to the outfit he’d been brought and put it on.
It was a shiny bikini set with mesh that covered his torso and legs. Despite the glittery top it was still darker than what Steve normally wore. Eddie wasn’t in the room anymore, so Steve decided to leave out and find him, possibly get a more concrete plan for his repairs.
Right away, he was met with a guard that led him to a grand throne room. “Your Eminence”, the guard bowed.
So when Eddie had said ‘children of his court’...
Eddie sat with one leg propped up on the arm of the chair. He was still wearing what he had before, but now there was a magnificent black cloak hanging off his shoulders.
“The man from the stars graces us with his presence. How was your soak sweet thing?”
“I told you, my name is Steve.” He realized he never got a chance to tell Billy. It was probably why he stuck with the pet name.
Eddie stood up and stalked over to Steve. “Well maybe ‘round these parts ‘Steve’ means ‘sweet thing’.”
Steve’s breath caught in his throat, but he was saved from answering when a door slammed open and a small horde of children came crashing through. They were shouting at Eddie, who held his hands up like he was being robbed, and then they were clamoring for Steve, asking him questions, someone even poked his side.
Eddie clapped his hands and shouted even louder than them, getting their attention and pushing himself between their curious hands and Steve.
“Alright you little monster, you can interrogate him later. It’s time to eat.”
And interrogate him they did, all through the meal that was served at a long table. It wasn’t just Eddie and the kids. Others were there also although introductions went too quick for Steve to catch their names. He wasn’t really able to hang on to the flow of the conversation until they started talking about what to do with his crashed ship and how to re-launch the satellite.
What really through him for a loop was how involved the kids were in the conversation. It was partway through it that Steve understood that they planned on actually working on it.
“Eddie told me you were clever, but I didn’t know it was to this extent.”
Eddie groaned as some very smug eyes turned towards him. “Now why did you have to go and give them an ego boost?”
“Eddie thinks we’re clever~”, one of them, Dustin he thinks, teased.
“Enough to brag about us to a stranger”, another one, Lucas said.
Dinner continued to be a lively affair and Steve felt like he’d already seen different shades of Eddie. He was a man of many faces, it seemed. When the meal ended, the kids tried to get his attention again, but Eddie tried to shoo them, saying that their guest needed rest.
“I don’t mind”, Steve said. It wasn’t often he was around children and he wanted to answer all their questions.
“Yeah, plus he’s been asleep for like a day”, Dustin reasoned.
“A day!?”, Steve exclaimed.
Mike nodded. “Eddie said we were this close to-”
Eddie clamped a hand over his mouth. “Let’s all go to the library!”
The library had physical paper texts, which Steve had only heard of. He answered the kids’ questions about his home, about the CEF and how things were done there. Every once in a while, he caught Eddie’s eyes and had to look away. Sometimes Eddie chimed in with what must be legends of the far off empire (“It’s a federation, Eddie.”) that Steve was constantly qualifying with the truth.
He could tell that the hour was getting late when they only asked him five questions a minute instead of ten and Eddie called bed time. Eddie ordered a guard to escort Steve to his quarters while he took the children to bed.
Steve took his time alone to look around the room. He saw a stringed instrument, perhaps Eddie played. There was a window that showed how high up he was. The city twinkled below him.
He let out a sigh as he sat on the edge of the bed, then spread out on it, loving the feel of silk under him. That was what Eddie came in on when he returned to the bedroom.
“Happy birthday to me.” He put the cloak on a hook, immediately softening his appearance.
Steve rose up just slightly so that he was resting on his elbows. Eddie was giving him that look again, the same one he had gotten in the bathroom.
“Why did you have me brought back here?” Steve was sure there were other rooms. It seemed very purposeful that Eddie made sure Steve came back to his own room.
“Didn’t think you’d want to be alone”, Eddie said, coming to the front of the bed. “You’re all alone on a foreign planet. I’ve got to be a hospitable host.” He reached down and lifted one of Steve’s legs by the ankle.
Steve watched as Eddie removed the boot, kissing his calf through the mesh on his leg. That wasn’t one of the erogenous zones he had learned about, and yet his heart skipped a beat. Eddie gently lowered that leg and did the same to the other, kissing his knee this time.
“Very hospitable. Are you going to take care of me all night?”, Steve asked.
Eddie let his hand brush the outside of his thigh. “That’s all I wanna do, Steve.”
Steve felt an impulse and he followed it, spreading his legs a little, inviting Eddie in. He felt a thrill of power when Eddie practically pounced and kissed him. Steve let out a whimper born from happiness. He hadn’t known how much he wanted this until he felt those lips on his own.
Eddie leaned on him until Steve slowly leaned back to lie flat on the bed. Eddie kissed like a man dying of thirst at first, like he was trying to consume Steve, and then he slowed, drawing out small sounds as Steve was left wanting. Eddie nibbled on his bottom lip and tugged.
His kisses got a little sloppy as they moved down Steve’s jaw. Steve thought he might avoid the fading bite marks but Eddie acted like they weren’t even there.
“Eddie”, Steve whispered against his hair as he kept his head in place, not wanting him to stop.
“Talk to me, baby”, Eddie said, bringing his hands to his hips. “Tell me what you want.”
Steve tried to think but it was hard when Eddie’s hands were inching further down. He thought about all he had experienced so far. And what he had learned.
“I want…I wanna take care of you too.”
“Oh yeah?”, Eddie grinned. “Whisper it in my ear, beautiful.” He leaned in close, his curls tickling Steve’s cheek while the other man murmured only to him what he wanted to do. If possible, Eddie’s eyes darkened even more.
Their positions had switched and now Eddie’s hands were tied above his head. He watched once again, as Steve slowly undressed himself. His fingers itched to touch and remove the clothes covering him.
“Come on, sweet thing, don’t be a tease”, Eddie said, voice a little rough.
Steve looked at him from over his shoulder. “You said you could be patient. Were you lying to me?”
Eddie shook his head. Fully naked now, Steve crawled on top of him and stroked his lips. “Use your words, Your Eminence.”
“No. I wasn’t lying. I can be patient.”
“I knew you could”, Steve smiled. His legs sat on either side of Eddie’s and he sat on his knees, just on top of the other man but depriving him of his weight and warmth.
Eddie squirmed but Steve stilled him with a shush as his hands traveled down his body. Even back home, he never touched himself without the help of technology. And never with an audience as captive as Eddie. Eddie watched, hypnotized as Steve’s hand went to the tip of his cock.
His beautiful lips parted in a gasp like he was new to the touch. And from what he knew about Steve’s people, it probably was. He couldn’t believe just how lucky he was to be here. To get to watch this gorgeous man play with himself.
“Shit, baby. Is it nice? Does it feel good? Lemme help you feel good”, Eddie begged, his voice pitching closer to a whine.
“Yeah?”, Steve smirked, lowering himself just enough so that his bare length brushed against Eddie’s tent. “You think you can?”
Eddie nodded then remembered to use his words. “I can be so good for you sweet thing. I promised I’d take care of you.” Eddie fought to keep his hips still. He didn’t want to be admonished. He wanted to be rewarded.
And rewarded he was when Steve opened his pants just enough to let his cock spring forth. Eddie was just letting out a relieved sigh when Steve started to grind into him.
Steve didn’t even know what he was doing. It wasn’t like he could go inside Eddie this way or the other way around. But it didn’t matter. He was running on desire, not logic. And he had learned by now that there was more to sex than just penetration, than just stress relief. It wasn’t just about having your genitalia stimulated and nothing more. Steve loved kissing. He loved feeling a warm body against his, hands with minds of their own. He loved having his neck bitten and being pinned down. He loved the little kisses to his legs Eddie had done before. Not meant to arouse, just meant to be there.
And right now he was loving watching their pre cum mingle as Steve slid his cock against Eddie’s. He was indeed being a good boy. Like he had promised. So Steve would keep his promise too.
Eddie bit his lip as Steve lifted and positioned himself. Steve let out little ‘ahh’s while sinking down, enveloping the other man in a heat so sweet he was seeing stars. He felt like he could cum just like this, just watching Steve take him. Steve must be a mind reader because he was smiling down at him.
“Don’t you dare. Not yet.” Steve’s body shook when he moved. “Not until I tell you to.”
“Holy fuck”, Eddie choked out, arms straining as he willed his orgasm away. It was a tall order when a man such as this was riding you for all you had.
Steve was in near disbelief. It wasn’t unlike having a superpower. He told Eddie to do something and he obeyed. The king of this land, obeying him, a traveler from another world.
“Eddie~”, he moaned, bracing his hands on the man’s chest, then grabbing at the harness. This must be what it was for after all.
Steve rocked his hips and bent down to kiss him, taking all of Eddie’s erotic noises for himself. He could tell Eddie was close when his whimpers turned to near sobbing and it spurred him on.
“Go ahead Eddie. It’s okay. Cum for me, fill me, mark me. I want it. Make me yours.”
Eddie’s hips snapped once. Twice. Three times and he left out a cry but Steve didn’t let him stop even as he was cumming.
“Yes! Give it to me. Give it all to me and I’m gonna-I’m gonna-”
“You’re gonna give it back to me, baby. C’mon Stevie, take it. Use me, cum all over me-”
Steve’s gasp felt like it came from his soul as he splashed between their bodies. The cum from both ends made him slide to near overstimulation as the aftershocks ran through him. When he came back into himself, he untied Eddie’s hands which were on him in an instant, touching, squeezing, caressing. Eddie was kissing the bites he’d just made, licking his sweat, burying his face into his chest hairs.
“...I have to…I have to send a message back home”, Steve said between sighs.
“And pray tell, what do you have to tell them?”, Eddie asked, still catching his breath as he looked up from Steve’s chest.
“That my work requires that I remain in person at the damage sight for a while longer.”
Eddie smirked. “You got a place to stay?”
Steve wrapped his arms around his shoulders and placed a kiss on his lips, soft but deep. “I have a very accommodating host keeping me.”
“Oh fuck yes, I’m keeping you.”
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Show us your south park oc!!
why yes i will thank you very much!!!
meet Avy Alvarez! half filo, half american, and originally my extremely self insert-y oc ive decided to shake up and fuck around with!! they're nonbinary, bi, and they use any pronouns
the guys think she's a guy and just assume she's some kinda femboy and the girls assume he's a girl and thats causes chaos when they think he's getting frisky with their exes when she casually interacts with them like a normal person
since i did say she used to be really self insert-y she is like. a fandom bitch that draws and writes gay shit. yaoi even. and i decided to keep it bc the concept of a serial killer/killer just being a socially awkward fandom kid drawing anime fanart is very funny to me.
that being said, she's socially awkward, but easy-going and goofy as hell. has hot takes that regularly causes discord in the girl's list making committee meetings. she said what she said except when wendy threatens to remove her
does not actually have like a really fucked up backstory to being a serial killer. like she does have some mental health issues but they weren't raised in a family of assasins or something. in fact she was barely raised at all her parents are kind of absent simply because i cannot fathom what they're dynamic could be and kind of always characterized them to be kind of lonely.
she's got a butler/babysitter/housekeeper to keep her in check and handle her meals but they eventually leave when avy gets older. her parents set up a bank account for her where they just send money for her needs and she can deposit/ withdraw whenever she needs. her parents work overseas ig and they're kind loaded so they just send her money when they ask but are also strict with her grades and just in general so like. not very good, and generally very emotionally absent parents.
as for why they are a serial killer? i always imagined that she isnt in like some dark web shit, crap just went down once and then some guy called her for a job and she just decides that like. ight fuck it ig and gets the job done. then that guy knows another who needs someone dead and is like "oh i know a guy" and then it escalates enough that people are passing aroun her job number and calling if they want.
also as the comic says nowadays she just kills people who highkey deserve it and she doesn't really charge as much as other hired killers probably do so alot of people who are like victims of stuff or are like getting blackmailed or smth try their luck and call her for revenge. sometimes she also just accepts jobs from crime guys doing stuff against crime guys. generally chaotic neutral serial killer ig
and since bodies aren't particularly light, she's pretty strong and kinda crafty. just horribly socially awkward and has a few self-esteem issues. there's a voice modulator with the mask and that blonde strand of hair is there bc they think it'll help throw off the cops. whether or not that would actually work i do not know.
also she def has like a one sided rivalry with mysterion bc like. yk serial killer on the loose but also said serial killer does knows mysterion is kenny and doesn't really have anything against them as mysterion or kenny, but man is he a bother when he's trying to stop them from killing ppl and fighting to incapacitate and not kill is kind of difficult when you were killing/planning to kill someone. this also leads to like an arc abt her becoming enemies with freedom pals then frenemies then straight up like an honorary member/local guy they know who kills people and sometimes ask to kill people for them
besties with kyle. he thinks they're weird and they think he's a silly little guy. also pictured above, at one point he finds out abt her being a serial killer and after a whole arc about him coming to terms and choosing to trust that avy does not wish any harm on him and does not wish to manipulate or stalk him and generally has no ulterior motives towards him or his friends and family he just. tags a long in jobs sometimes. mostly to vent or he just wants to hang out with someone. he only tags along like, comes with him when they're going to the place where the deed will be done. he doesnt assist in the murders in anyway, he doesn't really like how gruesome they can be soemtimes and just looks waya while it's happening. he would just walk home once they actually have to start murdering but things can go awry reall quick sometimes so avy doesn't let him out of their sight until he's home. kind protective of kyle but in this case its pretty much warranted.
and that's all the silly goofy stuff about my south park oc. feel free to ask about them bc i have lot of fun playing around with them!!
#myart#south park#south park art#south park fanart#sp fanart#south park original character#south park ocs#fanart#mail
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How about 10, 13, 14, and 20?
10. favorite support conversation?
im very fond of sylvain's a-supports with both mercedes and dorothea! they both know he's putting up a facade and they know how to make him drop it and be earnest with himself and others. he has a low number of a-supports (fuck intsys forever for not giving him an a-support with dimitri) so these instances where you can see how complex of a character he is are everything to me. mercedes making him cry bc she likes him honest (read: being his fucked up self, not his persona), sylvain telling dorothea, who's afraid she'll lose her worth when her beauty fades, that he'll still love her when she's a grandma and meaning it, that's the kind of stuff i love about his a-supports.
13. what's one thing you'd change about fe3h?
the argarthans. the way they were implemented in the story as is simply doesn't work. during white clouds it's all right as far as it goes - their presence is noticeable, they're involved in some of the major events such as byleth getting trapped in the void, but after timeskip the narrative pretty much loses all contact with them in all routes. like, they show up a few times, but the war efforts take up so much of the narrative (which is not a bad thing) that there isn't any room left to work the argarthans into it in any natural way - they just show up to drop a nuke and then suddenly you have to play their godawful map. especially on vw i found that it hurts the narrative bc they take up space that isn't there, and then the big climax (fight with nemesis) receives almost zero buildup and feels like an afterthought. in general you can question whether their presence was needed at all. the war against edelgard could've worked without them, if you ask me. azure moon barely pays attention to them and they're never missed. always feels to me as if they were put into the story as a plot device for white clouds but then no one really knew what to do with them after timeskip so they end up like the wrong piece jammed into a puzzle
14. most emotional moment?
rodrigue's death and dimitri's subsequent recovery will always touch me but i think my absolute most emotional moment is when dimitri comes back to faerghus to take up the crown again and he asks 'am i fit to be king?'. chris hackney fucking kills it delivering the lines in that scene, it really makes you feel how much dimitri loathes himself and what he's done and how unworthy of his people's trust he thinks he is. it's a happy moment and at the same time there's something sad about it because it's such a moment of struggle for dimitri himself.
20. unpopular opinion?
now, if you like byleth id suggest not reading this, bc while it is not a completely unpopular opinion there's a lot of people who disagree with me. id normally never say all this bc im not an asshole and a lot of people like this character, but you asked, so: i don't like byleth, i don't think they can be classified as a well-developed character (instead of an avatar to project hcs on) and i think the way the narrative makes all the characters like them instantly and makes byleth responsible for all their emotional growth is a detriment to the development of the other characters in the game and their interactions with each other. im just really not a fan of the way all the characters imprint on them, tell them all their deepest troubles and for the rest of the game no one can function like a normal human being unless byleth is there to help and advise them.
it annoys me in particular on azure moon bc byleth is presented as the one person dimitri can rely on and the one person who's responsible for the start of his recovery. i hate that so much it half kills the scene for me. there's all the blue lions right over there, several of which he's known since childhood, but it's the teacher he's known for a year and a half and who has almost no personality to speak of that's going to do the heavy lifting here? wasted opportunity to have the blue lions/faerghus four have their ultimate moment. not a huge fan of byleth being the emotional support crutch in the animated post timeskip scene in the monastery either, it all feels so forced and player-pleasing to me. here's the messiah who everyone likes and who happens to be your player character! it's terrible on silver snow too; the game needs byleth to be Important and In Charge so bad that it does this trick where seteth explains what's happening every chapter and lays out his plans, and then the game pretends they were byleth's plans all along and they're the saviour here, with seteth thanking them for plans and actions that he orchestrated?? bro we both know byleth has no idea what is going on and you're the chief.
#asks#byleth critical#these are just my opinions ofc like if you like byleth you like byleth you do you#im not here to start a discussion im just here to say what i personally think
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I'm about to tell on myself so fucking hard but you know what I wish was a feature on A03?
So...nhentai gives every comic posted to it a number, right? And you can take just that number, nothing else, and type it into the site's search box and it will take you DIRECTLY to that comic. So when people on reddit or whatever want to post the source/talk about a comic they don't HAVE to post a whole ass link, they can just give you the number. Which is cool because links can be sketchy(there are a lot of fake nhentai sites that are just loaded with viruses and shit) and like, there are lots of other reasons people don't like clicking on random links/sharing them is hard(length for one). Just posting the comics barcode? I guess? saves all of that.
Plus something I have noticed is it's pretty fucking hard to find a specific fic if you don't have the link. Cuz just the title isn't gonna do you much good on A03 given how many fics all have the same/similar titles, and if you lost the author's name too you basically just have to dive headfirst into the fandom/ship tag and pray you find what you're looking for which SUCKS with big fandoms/ships that have like 100k + works. Which is actually part of why I think I've seen some people posting "I'm looking for this fic help" stuff as fics on A03.
(Edit: also with the common practice of orphaning and posting as anonymous on A03 sometimes the authors name doesn't do you any good either.)
So if each fic had/has a unique ID number it would be a lot easier to share them around so you'd be less likely to lose them, and you wouldn't have to worry about a broken link ect. cuz as long as you have those numbers you can find the fic again instantly.
And like A03 kinda has that in the sense that like, look, here's a link to one of my fics
It HAS those numbers at the end so theoretically if I knew a fics numbers I could just type in archiveofourown.org/works/(the number) and find the fic, but you can't actually use those numbers to search
So I don't see people like, normalizing sharing the numbers along with links cuz it's just a little too complicated.
But I mean just think, you find an old masterpost with hyperlinks to fics but the site has gone weird or the links broke or op deleted the post and the versions that still exist are all fucked up now something, and you're bummed cuz sure maybe they put the titles and fandoms and authors but for all you know the fics were set to anonymous or orphaned and either way that's a lot of searching, wouldn't it be nice if each listing also just had those numbers hanging out? And that way as long as you have so much as a picture of the post you can still find those fics. You don't have to save the post and hope it doesn't get deleted or go cram the stuff into "marked for later" right then and there, you can just hold on to those numbers. That sounds pretty nice to me!!
I dunno, maybe there is something I'm missing, but I was thinking about this bcs I have a bunch of new followers on Instagram who like this ship I make content for and I WANT to tell them I wrote a fic, but it's Instagram, you gotta post pics and doing a little info graphic feels kinda tacky? So I'm drawing something based on the fic to post, but then I guess I just have to put the link to the fic in the description or something, and I keep thinking GOD it would be so much easier if I could just post the numbers 38480276 and have that be enough for all of them to find the fic without scaring away people who don't want to click on random links/the awkwardness of just posting a link in general.
But yeah, that's my rant about the porn website doing it better bcs tbh sometimes they do and I think this being a feature or coming into common usage would be nice.
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right so, i have had a Super Fun week archiving 40 years worth of actual paper author contracts for work (kill meeee) + sorting last minute biz for little sissas wedding. subsequently I have only squeezed in a few rewatches over the last few days, and am generally existing on caffeine and fumes, so there’s absolutely nothing of substance coming outta this head rn. but! regardless! some incoherent Thoughts on some eps from my one semi-functioning brain cell under the cut
previously on the bad show.........
daniel: you look good man! you look hot, sorry i mean sorry you still, sorry- got you got that- you still got that great ass, sorry, i mean you look fucken edible, sorry i mean sorry i wanna kiss you
johnny: [takes this personally for some reason]
//there is no kissing and everyone is mad about it//
1x04
-“the 15 inch, that’s a nice machine” makes me laugh every time. ahh yes indeed the 15 incher. Yes. That one. Almost as good as the 250 GBer. i know about computers. what are the other staff in this store DOING
-kinda home of sexual that billboard thing huh? you working through some stuff jlawz? i love the idea of him not only drawing a 5 meter long paint dick on daniel’s face, but also his karate pamphlets trailing behind him all the way like drunken breadcrumbs
-i just need you to know that i laughed at every single dick joke in this episode
-gonna skip right past the poop thing i think
-and kyler’s 30 year old HS friend
-daniel reacting a normal amount to graffiti on his billboard, nothing to see here. he’s fine he’s fine he’s kicking drinks outta peoples hands he’s ruining livelihoods he’s fine
-tom cole definitely voted for trump both times
-i cannot tell you how angry i was the first time i watched this and that jlawz big “no do overs” speech was revealed to be directed at carmen and miguel. sir i know you got trauma but try that hard with YOUR ACTUAL SON please
-daniel: that’s too bad :D that you broke up with kyler :DDDD really sorry to hear!! [is happiest babygirl alive]
1x05
-do some yoga jlawz, it’ll be good for you!!
-oh no robby buying pizza for his ma. he got the one she likes. baby boi :(((
-gonna scoot past the lynne stuff but i repeat, i’m glad they pumped the brakes on this shit in later seasons bc this aint it!!!
-daniel raising the rent on poor folks and then deliberately going to johnny to rub it and/ or his wealth in his face is objectively some supervillain nonsense, but if they wanted me to not like him in this scene maybe they shouldn’t have made him look so hot. i’m very shallow and dumb and he look sexy when he mean
-“i guess sam takes after her dad.” kyler’s a gronk but credit where it’s due, that was a sick burn.
-okay daniel talking to miyagi at his grave > cleaning out the dojo > going back to karate > panflutes > hachimaki etc made me do an embarrassingly big cry. my brain is not in any shape to verbalise this rn but something about him fucking up, realizing it and heading to a cemetery and talking to miyagi all vulnerable like that really did a number on my feelings, especially coming right out of the tkk movies rewatch. he misses him so much ;_;
1x06
-boooo kreese sucks, even in flashbacks and when I can’t see his face.
-“my dad hates [daniel larusso’s] guts” ok was jlawz just talking about daniel constantly the full 30+ years?? no wonder robby is mad, if every time he actually saw him he was like “hi dad!” and dad launched into an hour long rant about one guy from high school he interacted with a total of four times and three of those four times was him beating him up
-demetri is a big vibe. love my beloved garbage disaster man, but pretty sure if I met him irl i would pretty quickly be like ‘ok buddy, for sure! yeah strike hard totally. anyway…. [already out the door] seeya!!’
-daniel asking everyone to do karate with him including his employees trying to fill that miyagi void is such an understatedly sad part of this episode. my old mens both so sad. ilu please go to therapy
-miguel and sam are freaking adorable awkward babies and i would die for them
-robby trying to use daniel to get back at his dad and then instantly imprinting on him is so funny. being charmed by daniel larusso is in the genes somehow
-(not to be shallow ((is shallow)) but daniel looks so baby in that bit where robby comes to the house)
-you know that scene in not another teen movie where they’re like “oh my god she’s wearing glasses! and overalls! and her hair is tied back!!”? the Hawk scene gives that in reverse vibes. like GASP, he gelled his hair!! and put on skinny jeans!!!
1x07
-it’s a montaaaage!
-miguel no offense my sweet summer child but do not ask jlawz for advice on romance. his idea of courting is just obsessively brooding about them for 30 years and then when he finally sees them again stomping on their foot and running away
-daniel being like “it was a solid business plan!” (re little trees) is so so daniel. i am gonna chew my own arm off i love this bouncy little pretend guy so hard
-the UST in the committee meeting is off the charts. please stop looking at each other like that in public (also daniel being like OH GIMMIE A BREAK when jlawz said ‘kreese is dead’ is honestly the funniest thing in all of season 1. maybe the entire series)
-i’m getting ahead of myself, but the golf and stuff montage has made me think – it’s kinda weird that they went with ali and jlawz going there in s3, right? idk miguel and sam is a cute little parallel to the movie, but A & J going there seems…. strange to me. although not any stranger than anything else they’ve done re: the original movie ig? hmm.
anyway! weird thought to end things on, but sometimes it do be like that. will resume normal rewatching transmissions on the weekend. might even have an actual coherent thought or two on something after I catch up on some sleep! i have high hopes
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is this ordeal with dream making you reassess rpf fandoms in general or anything?
edit i realize i went on a mostly irrelevant tangent bc of my posts where i said ive always disliked the dsmp fandom, but if you were wondering Solely because of the allegations, no. stanning a real person always comes at a risk and while it sucks when things go awry i do think i'm normal Enough about my parasocial behaviors that i'll be fine mentally regardless of the outcome and will leave if i must. ok now onto the rest of the post
oh i'm ok discussing the community, just not like. the details of the allegations.
and the answer is: not particularly. the dsmp fandom is a pretty unique case, not in terms of content (i dont wanna sound like the kinda person who thinks minecraft rp is new) but in terms of community.
this is not to say that other fandoms surrounding real people are better, much less perfect, but they're definitely a more comfortable thing for me.
for one, i've seen a lot of people having the dsmp as a "baby's first fandom" sort of moment. i think this is because its something really popular that is harder to enjoy passively - while you can watch stranger things with your family and get the whole experience just by watching the show, with the dsmp you need to keep up with cc twitter pages and stuff to be fully in-the-loop, and this leads into fandom pretty easily. this means you have a lot of people going around getting into their very first discourse All At Once. and people who get Really attached to one thing and feel lost when suddenly the fandom they literally learned to draw/write/etc for goes quiet.
for two, the dsmp is a category that is broad as hell. its not like i watch all the ccs. i think that would probably make my brain melt from my ears. but when you have a category that is Broad As Johnny Bravo's Shoulders, its more like a million little fandoms than one big one, and they all overlap but don't really Share A Space. u can like someone's tubbo fanart and then see in their bio that they like, have a really strong vendetta against quackity or something. or vice versa. you also have a lot of shit to keep up with, which is simply too much for me. i will continue just having like. three dudes to think abt from now on rather than 30
thirdly, the thing Above about there being so many ccs does make the fandom more Baffling for everybody, and the community seemed to repeatedly add to that. i am not going to be like "hari and every popular blogger is evil! what about people who ARENT popular >:(" bc that is downright ridiculous, but think abt stuff like duo names, oddly specific tags, referring to ppl solely by nicknames, spreading conversation back and forth between multiple social media sites rather than just tumblr, etc - all of those things had a purpose and were perfectly fine (anyone who tells you that you must refer to your friends by username only just to make Their online experience more accessible is an idiot) but they did make things tricky for newcomers. friend groups aren't inherently cliques, but some of the ppl ive seen claiming that its "super easy to pop in and join no problem!" are the Exact folks ive seen unintentionally exclude others. again, not a moral failing, just a consequence of What Its Like in the fandom, especially to people who havent been around forever. and if you don't like a popular blogger youre kinda fucked bc they're everywhere- like can u imagine if there were Multiple clones of isa in the jse fandom, and they were like. your Only window into updates and shit etc etc? not to compare isa to anybody else. sorry to anybody who feels like theyre being compared to isa even if u dont know who that is. sorry
there's also an age difference in the fanbase And in the content creators. some of my favorite fic writers in the jse fandom are young, but some are also literally in their 30s with children and jobs. meanwhile a significant number of ppl in the dsmp fanbase making art n posting hot takes n stuff are under 17. particularly with tommy, ranboo, etc. and when so many of the streamers themselves are young, it can cause Problems - a lot of the adult ccs are at my college level, peak time for stupid behavior. not to mention,,, when you look at the jse/markiplier fandoms and see a fan being really sexual, its just like, "oh, maybe this is a little weird, but relatively harmless as long as they aren't being invasive about it." when you look into the fandom of a youtuber who isn't even old enough to vote yet, and see a fan being really sexual, it's more of a "holy shit that is predatory and fucking disgusting" moment.
^ continuing off of that, or at least the cc ages, their fame skyrocketed after a much shorter time than a lot of other creators. they did not have a normal adjustment period to being fucking everywhere. i'm not even one of them, and i didn't have a normal adjustment period to seeing them everywhere. older ccs with more professional stuff going on don't make the same mistakes as the newer folks. they know when to step away, too - as much as i wish jack was back on tumblr due to the theory content here, i also get why he's gone and understand that the environment would be Shaken tf up by his return.
having them be such a trend also meant that while the fandom is big, the anti-fandom is just as prevalent. in the jse fandom we have blue and their pals (yikes!), as well as a group of people that have generally negative feelings towards sean but are normal about it. we do not have entire communities dedicated to stalking him for "crit" and the amount of people speculating on his personal relationships have pretty much dwindled. we don't have people casually dropping his address and information about his family every time they meme about him. i can talk about watching jack and mark around ppl ive never met without starting off with a disclaimer! in fact, i frequently have to do the opposite with jack and mark, because their discourse is so Out Of Sight from the majority these days that some people just fucking ignore their friendship with pdp or past transmisogynistic jokes or etc etc etc. literally see ppl calling them "unproblematic kings!" every 2 seconds and gotta be like what the Fuck are you talking about
u also have the fact that the dsmp fandom became Such an ordeal during a really shitty time of fandom discourse in general. while people arent like going batshit insane over steven universe or whatever so much anymore, the moral arguments about fiction right now are hell on earth. it is pedophilia to watch cartoons and abuse apologism to think a character who was mean one time is interesting and if you are personally attached to a character then your feelings can just override canon in theory discussions. literally the worst time for anyone to be in a fandom regarding very morally/politically funky roleplay. as evidence i present whomever the fuck thought up the idea of posting proship discourse on r/dwt2
lastly i am far more invested in the egos as far as hyperfixating goes rather than the actual creators (as much as i love them) and would have zero problem just taking anti and making him My Own Guy (considering ive already basically done that) in the case that jack. idk. killed someone and was promptly cancelled on twitter for murder.
so yeah no. my deepseated hatred of the fandom in general (despite my love for much of the art and the wonderful people ive met) does not extend to all real person fandoms
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(hi im back I got scared bc I worried I'd focused too much on myself in my last ask and the demons took over Help) idk why im shocked that there aren't any fics unique to wattpad I dont think the boyboy following is a wattpad bunch we're all old pretentious fucks (endearing). I rly hope they're cool with fics,,, i hope they Get It,,, that would be really sick. they've surprised me before, they can do it again!
you ARE being brave holy shit if I was in your position I think I'd shit myself to DEATH this tension is killing me but I agree your fics are so well written like they're rpf but more importantly they're really good??? truly moving?? literary even??? and i have hope that they'll appreciate that too
- 🌵
HIIIIIIIIIII noooooooo omg not at all!!! its just that ive genuinely sucked ass at answering asks in general since the dawn of time and in the past couple of weeks i have gotten more asks than ive ever received before in my entire life LOL plus my memory is shit so if i dont answer Immediately i forget ive even been sent anything in the first place and its just this whole thing but me not responding wasnt caused by anything you did in the slightest i LOVE getting asks from you!!!
god i literally know it makes complete sense but at the same time it surprised me as well maybe wattpad rly isnt what i remember it being anymore maybe it has fallen off in a pretty major way since 2014..... dude i literally cannot exaggerate how much i want that to be true LOL i rly rly rly hope they are too like i know logically they wouldnt be making the video if they werent but still...... tbh aleksa does strike me as someone who has legitimately written self insert fanfiction abt him & alex in the past so. i think there's some hope for us (joking obvs. unless..)
im gonna be real there hasnt been one moment in the past couple of days where i wasnt shitting and pissing and vomiting myself to death i literally wake up in cold sweat nowadays expecting my inbox to be flooded w anons being like DUDE THE VIDEO IS OUT FHFGNG.. like its BAD the tension is kiling me as well. ohhhhhmy god stop you guys are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo niceys to me i cant believe it..... god.....them apprer . them Complim , them ap- i cant even say it . is something i genuinely honestly cannot even begin to think abt like you guys r being so brave and normal abt this and r trying to comfort me constantly and i just feel like i havent made any mental progress at all since the day of the fateful discovery LOL like ever since i learned its not gonna be posted to their patreon w roughly 5000 subscibers like i hoped but instead to their yt channel with 800k+ subscibers i have been trying even Harder to gaslight myself into thinking my fics somehow wont make it into the video bc when i like sit down and make a serious attempt to entertain the possibility of 800k ppl potentially seeing my writing its just . Like my brain legitimately shuts down. i just cannot physically or mentally comprehend that number at all its not REAL!!!! to me!!!!!! get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<33333333333333333#i rly need to like get over myself already and stop being so dramatic abt this whole thing like maybe its literally fine .#i cant rly explain my general issue in a way that doesnt make me sound like an asshole but i guess it all boils down to the fact that#with my black and white autistic as shit thinking i consider there to be only 2 major types of rpf#1. the like . normal wholesome cute lighthearted G-rated kind that revolves around them going to the grocery store or sth#and 2. the genuinely seriously creepy kind written by maladjusted ppl that makes me sick to my stomach when im unfortuante enough#to encounter it in the wild#& because i for some reason dont consider my writing to fall into the 1st category (even though some of it probably still technically does)#i automatically freak out over it potentially sharing some similarities w the 2nd kind which i KNOW like logically know isnt true.#and in fact its what exists in the vague middle that is the most popular kind of rpf and can range from Bad to seriously impressive#and i guess literary to use your analogy. and like. maybe thats fine. maybe my worst offense is having written a couple of thousand words#abt them having sex. and maybe they can handle that.#asks#cactus anon#sorry for how obscenely disgustingly disturbingly long this is holy shit i need to relax. but i think ive FINALLY articulated what i mean
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Had a nice chat with our new downstairs neighbor who moved into the place the neighbor who had kitties but passed from cancer used to be in. Bittersweet on that fact but our new neighbor is also super nice and is helping me with my plants. Offered to give me some potting soil when it's time to transplant my beans and we have the plan over the summer to have a joint garden along the wall/corner we share. So I can theoretically have even more beans because I can plant them on the ground and trellis them all the way up to our patio. I just hope our stupid landlords don't get mad about a wall of beans. They wouldn't get mad about maintained bean plants up the outside of the building if both relevant neighbors were working together growing them would they? I don't know anymore. Landlords are practically at the point where they want to force what renters can and can't cook in the kitchen for fucks sake. I've seen that discussed online before.
I just want my beans man. I know a neighbor had potted tomates in the front yard last year and they were allowed so here's hoping I can have two story beans. If not I'll continue my plan of having smaller clipped ones on the patio and in my bedroom (my main idea was having the pole beans grow tall enough that I can have their pots on the floor and have them stalk up along my windows behind the blinds. With an added benefit that I can then open my blinds more and get more sun because the bean plants will obscure me from the outside in.)
They also offered to give us a barbeque they were trying to get rid of. One that can be portable for camping but our stupid landlords hate barbeques but then they suggested that I could keep it but have it hidden and only bring it out for camping. How would those fuckers know? I'd never have the propane tanks on site just the little barbeque.
Got into talking how we need to bring back farming for the new generation and about how my family has left our farm to rot and how I want to inherit it and keep bothering my mom about it. I am not a pariah to the uncle who I'm pretty sure is who's in charge of the property right now so I really should just get his number and call him directly to talk about it because my mom is never going to get it into her head that I'm capable of living on my own. I mean I do get it to some extent but that would be a different circumstance. Rural life is significantly easier on my mental stressors than urban life. People have told me that there's less acceptance for being a disabled queer man but it's not like I'd be participating in the night life or adult communities or anything. Just participating in the larger community like I play Stardew valley where I'm the mysterious farmer who comes into town for supplies, is friendly and generous when he's there and then goes back to his farm. Makes me wish I was developmentally capable of relationships and wasn't also aroace because I'd love to find someone to live this life with but everybody wants a partner and I'm just perpetually stuck in a neo childhood. People who aren't exploiters want an equal. In many ways I will never be a normal adult's equal. Such is life.
Sadly I'd have to move away from BC if I did get the farm. So I'd be leaving all these nice people behind but such is life I guess. Better that I'm moving on to better things than everyone else continuing to be the ones who move on to better things while my situation slowly grows worse.
I suppose it's classic case of toxic relationship when a parent both expresses resentment for your helplessness due to disability but also dismisses any attempt at independence on one's own specialized terms. Idk anymore. I don't think I'll ever go no contact. I just want a family too much. And I always need to remember she was just as much a victim as me. She is also clearly neurodivergent and society failed her about it like it failed me. There's just generational trauma I have that she doesn't. Which is alienating. Usually generational trauma is, well, generational. But my grandparents were good people and the generational trauma is from my disowned abuser paternal side. So the type of trauma I have is different than my mom's despite we having the same abuser. Blah blah blah I'm just retreading old ground. Point is even though things are extremely complicated I will never stop loving her despite the way she loves me being conditional and weird and unhealthy. The way I love her is also weird and unhealthy too. That's just how generational trauma is.
I hope I have not passed on the generational trauma to Cazza and that I won't to Scott. Sometimes I feel the normalized child abuse bubble close to the surface when I am frustrated or cross or stressed about them. And it horrifies me. I am so glad I am on antipsychotics because this is no doubt helping me not emulate my upbringing. But when I raise my voice or lose my temper it makes me feel so ill. It reminds me of when I was just being a kid and I'd get screamed at or hit. I never scream at my puppies. I will raise my voice or throw my voice in situations of urgency and I'll scold but I do not scream at them. But I still feel bad when I scold. Under normal circumstances my verbal communications are slurred and stilted and passive so when I do get urgent and loud I always feel it's going to upset Scott. Perhaps I'm overthinking it and this is just how men are supposed to sound and the level of our voices when things are urgent but I'm still learning how to exist in a space and the amount of weight it's acceptable to throw around. It's the verbal equivalent of how I still skulk around my own damn house like it's not safe to be out of my bedroom. When will that stop? Do I just need therapy? Yeah.
I wish I could have known my grandparents more. Thinking back on it now. I was too young. I have more memories than the average person about those years but it's still through the mind of a very small child. Things come to me in flashes and in bits and pieces. The brain latches onto the most random of things. I have practically a photographic memory of the entire inside of the house but don't remember what it looked like from the outside. I remember how grandma smelled but not how her hair or face looked. I remember sitting on my grandpa's knee in the living room but I don't remember him giving me the sausage to teethe on even though that would go on to be a way of comfort and self soothing even into adulthood. I can still hear the sound of his oxygen machine. I remember the room upstairs me and my mom slept in. I remember the book about the boy and the quilt. I remember the book about the dog who hatched from an egg. I remember some of the toys of my mom and siblings that they kept that I would play with and the anti slip plastic thing that was put over the carpet. I remember nature visuals on their TV. And Painting Pictures. I remember from later the drawing of a "rainbow puppy" I made to put in grandma's casket and how I didn't understand what a funeral was or the full gravity that they were gone.
Something bothering me lately is that despite trying real hard I can't remember if it was specifically Yiddish or German that I have memories of hearing spoken. I don't know how to tell if the amount of residual Yiddish in my mom's vernacular is substantial enough to suggest it was more prevalent than the borrowing in north american English as a whole. I would assume it is because it's more prevalent than in the people I interact with in my day to day but language is not my strong suit.
It's likely both though. This lineage came about from two separate minority groups (one Lutheran the other Jewish) who left/were driven out of Germany and ended up in Russia before inevitably jumping ship to Canada. It can then be extrapolated that it was probably in Russia when the two converged to then go on to be solely christian in practice. Of course it's only at that point that I can find any sort of sparce free information people bothered to put online... 😒 But the surname apparently came from the christian side of the family so I guess that should be expected. There's methodist in there too somewhere at one point so it's not just lutheran, and Cree ancestors were christian also, likely as a result of missionaries or residential schools or some bullshit but I don't care about christianity. I'm fine with leaving that in our past.
I sometimes wonder that if it wasn't for my birth father I may have had a better association with the religion. Because my grandparents were good people. Would I have continued believing in god if they had been the ones to raise me like planned? Were they even as devout as my mom is and leads me to believe they were? I can't even say. It's such a foreign concept to reality that I can't really fathom it. Butterfly effect man. I also have to wonder just to what extent my birth father and his manipulation contributed to mom's fundamentalism because it's clear as day that the longer she's been apart from him the more of the bigotry she directed at me dies.
It's extremely fucking easy to find info on my birth father's family if I gave even remotely enough of shit about it is the bitter irony in this. He's obsessed with it. Literally would not hear the end of it. Bunch of cold blooded east coast British settler fucks. Brag about being related to Lord Nelson yet possess only his absolute worst traits. Obsessed with the wretched Atlantic ocean too of course.
In the same way I have a deep connection to my maternal side (despite being taken away at so young an age and on top of that a pariah because I'm part of the LGBTQ community) I have such a violent repulsion and aversion to the paternal side. So much of what they are and what matters to them is utterly incompatible and indigestible. It'd be kinda funny if it wasn't a hundred and ten percent related to the utter magnitude of childhood trauma.
Idk I didn't intend to get philosophical about my family history in this post but it just sorta slipped out.
I'm hoping that my beans can bring a little bit more nature and farming spirit back into my life. Even though I'm miles away from my true home.
I'm pretty sure talking to plants and singing to them and playing them orchestral music to help them grow is a myth but I am still doing it. Currently until my neighbor gives me some potting soil I have only planted two of them using some dirt I collected from back beyond the property where Cazza used to like going for walkies. God I fucking miss her. Maybe it's paradolia or excessive sentimentalism but didn't her sweet little nose look like a scarlet runner bean?
My purple nose puppy 💔
The days keep getting longer and I find comfort in that. Even with the blinds closed I feel the sun through my window. Someday I hope to be in a wide open space with nobody around for as far as the eye can see accompanied only by the bright blue sky and our blazing star. And a doggy of course. Then everything will be okay.
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so whenever Russian characters crop up in American/English-speaking media theres a very noticable thing where writers v often dont understand patronymics and full names.
Now, there’s two gradations of “full name” that are in use here. There is the “FIO” full name, or SGP perhaps (surname, given name, patronymic), and there is the full given name.
As an example, let’s take Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich.
Ivanov is the surname. You can tell bc of hte -ov suffix at the end. (Not the only one possible but a pretty decent indication something is a surname when it is there)
Ivan is the given name. You can tell bc Russian has a set (an expansive one) of given names and this is one of them, one of the most historically popular at that.
Ivanovich is the patronymic, it can be translated as “son of Ivan”. You can tell bc of the “ovich” suffix. There is also “evich” and for at least one name just “ich”. Colloquially they will also get shortened into just “ych” making the variation “Ivanych”. (”Y” is the letter used for transliteration of a sound that doesn’t exist in English but is considered fairly close to “i’)
To be clear, “Ivanov Ivan Ivanych” is the exact same person as “Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich”, this is hte exact same name, the only thing that changes is how formal the speaker is being about it.
Female suffixes are “evna” and “ovna”. Anna Petrovna, Anna Fadeevna. There is also “ichna” for at least one name and an antiquated “ishna” which is the colloquial alternative in some cases. Anna Fadeevna = Anna Fadeishna. This IS antiquated tho.
Coming back to our Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich, this is the “FIO” form of his name, the way it will be put on formal documents that require one’s full name. The “Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov” form is also acceptable, its just not the order you write on documents in. The patronymic (Ivanovich) always comes after the full given name (Ivan), the surname can be stuck on either side of that.
The traditional respectful address to someone you know is the full given name + patronymic. Ivan Ivanovich! Could you come over here? It’s used with plural/formal “you”. This form is also becoming obsolete in recent years but if you’re writing mid-20th-century or characters of middle age+ Ivan Ivanovich is the name to go.
(Note the difference from the address + surname form in English: Dr. Smith or Mr Smith etc. In Russian this form does not exist except several centuries back or in very very impersonal century back “citizen Ivanov” that like a policeman would use to address you. Not anyone you actually know personally. Schoolchildren will often not know their teachers’ surnames because they are all Ivan Ivanovich to them.)
Now I keep saying “Ivan” is the FULL given name. The short given name from “Ivan” is “Vanya”. This is a set linguistic fact - the set of given names in Russian is factually two linked sets, a set of full given names and a set of short given names. Some short given names can be short from several full given names, some full given names can have several short names (a person will usually pick one to use). A short given name doesn’t go anywhere on formal documents. It just follows from your full given name naturally, like conjugation. Some full given names (Gleb, Oleg, Diana, Vera) are short enough to be used as short given names too and so don’t realy have assigned short counterparts. In fact Vera can be both a full name on its own - Ivanova Vera Ivanovna - and short for Veronica - Ivanova Veronica Ivanovna.
Short names are formed through a variety of rules. There are basic requirements for the form they take as a result though. Full given names can have “complicated” consonant pairs together: Dmitriy, Aleksandr, Pavla, Anna. Short names are “simple” will almost always go consonant-vowel. Dmitriy -> Dima, Aleksandr -> Sasha, Alik or Shura (don’t ask how that last one happened, it’s a miracle of absurdity, but it’s one of the traditional shortenings), Pavla -> Pasha (well, Pavla is a rare name, you hear Pasha and you usually assume Pavel, the male name), Anna -> Anya. (”y” is not a consonant here, “ya” is a vowel sound English doesnt really have)
(As an exception to the consonant-vowel rule, when there’s a consonant pair the second of which is “l” it’s usually kept together in the short name - it’s just very simple to the Russian ear / tongue. Vladislav - Vlad or Slava, for example)
Often a name will be formed fully from the syllables / consonants of the full name, give or take changing the last vowel to the gender neutral “a”/”ya” (It will either be “a”/”ya” or a consonant). Vladimir -> Vlad, Ruslana -> Lana, Tatiana -> Tanya, Anna -> Anya, Katerina -> Katya, Dmitriy -> Dima or Mitya, Ivan -> Vanya. And then there’s the “sha” suffix tacked on as the second syllable: Pavel -> Pasha, Natalia -> Natasha or Tasha, Daria -> Dasha, Aleksandr -> Sasha, etc.
So long as they conform to these rules, you can kind of make them up. Though considering the whole of history, you’re not super likely to make up something that hasn’t been made up before you. Anna historically speaking turns into Anya, Nyura, Nyusha... -shudders-
So how are short names actually used?
As an implication of familiarity/subordination, that’s how. For the weebs in the audience, you know the ‘-chan’ suffix in Japanese? Kind of exactly like that. Japanese has more nuances, but generally if you wouldn’t call someone -chan, you shouldn’t call them by their short name. (Unless they specifically asked you to, but I think that’s a thing in Japanese too)
Short names are never paired with patronymics. The steps of formality in address are basically “Ivan Ivanovich” => “Ivan” => “Vanya”.
(There’s also formal you, so to be completely clear: “Ivan Ivanovich” (formal you) => “Ivan” (formal you) => “Vanya” (formal you) => “Vanya” (informal you). If someone is getting called their full given name + informal you, it’s either implying antiquity - pre 20th century - or they’re using their full given name as their short given name.)
You call your children and siblings by short names. You call your friends by short names. You MIGHT call your employees, especially if they are sufficiently young, or if you’ve known them for a long time and the “familiarity” part applies, by short names.
SHORT NAMES ARE NOT FORMAL. This is important. Nobody has “Natasha” written in their passport (unless I guess they were making new documents in America or something from scratch and didn’t use any old ones as basis of establishing idenity so could make up whatever. It’s still weird! It’s like having “Johnny-boy” written in your passport!)
SHORT NAMES ARE OFTEN GENDERED BUT YOU CANNOT TELL HOW WITHOUT KNOWING THE CORRESPONDING FULL NAME. “Pasha” and “Misha” are both male names becaus they are short from “Pavel” and “Mikhail”. Of course you could have a Pavla or a Mikhaila, but the former is very rare and the latter is probably a foreign Mykaila Russianified or something. In these cases it’s usually considered normal to assume gender, even if there’s a tiny chance you could be wrong.
PATRONYMICS ARE NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES INTERCHANGEABLE WITH SURNAMES. You have the same surname as your family members, but if you have the same patronymic, either you’re siblings or there are multiple people with the same given name in your immediate family, which is slightly odd. A patronymic is formed from your father’s name by unambiguous and definite rules. Foreign names can be turned into patronymics easily. (Though kids of foreign citizens can get whatever their parents want on their birth certificate - patronymic by the rules of one of the parents’ home country, no patronymic at all, whatever) Surnames are surnames and work the same way they work anywhere else.
PATRONYMICS AND SURNAMES ARE NOT CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. Any surname goes with any patronymic same as it goes with any given name. Except for the obvoius “statistically likely to be from the same culture” part. (Your “Russian” character could have Georgian, Ukrainian, Armenian, Lithuanian, Bielorussian, Kazakh, Tatar descent, descent from any number of indigenous cultures on the territory of Russia that I personally never heard about until I started translating documents in high amounts and stumbling upon them. Russia is an empire!) But even that’s just statistics - you could have a Tsukino Farha Bogdanovna and I’d just go “that’s a fascinating family history right there”.
GOOGLE RUSSIAN GIVEN NAMES, DON’T MAKE THEM UP. And pay attention if something is marked as “diminutive” - that means it’s a short name, and it will not be used on formal documents or in conjunction with a patronymic. Go for the name it’s diminutive for and just have the character ask everyone to use their short name if you want - it’s trendy these days.
There’s all kinds of fuckery going on with name use on the margins - some old people will call their close friends the “patronymic + informal you” construction. (Actually it’s a “Russian babushka” stereotype that actually exists within the culture. And if anyone ever uses the “short name + patronymic” form irl it’s this category of people, though I’d imagine only in third person) Some bosses or even teachers will invite their students to call them by their short name (I am so deeply uncomfortable with this). Age is often the difference between a Vanya and an Ivan Ivanovich in the same situation.
All patronymics and a good share of surnames conjugate by gender! “Ivanov” and “Ivanova” are the exact same surname, but a guy will have the former writen in their documents and a gal would have the latter. If you legally change your gender that letter changes too. (No, there’s no gender neutral form. Some surnames, like those ending in -enko, just don’t do this, but those that do are at all times one or the other) I guess expatriates a couple of generations down could have whatever going on, but if you have an actually-born-in-Russia “Ivanova Ivan Ivanovna” that means “Ivan” is a girl with a male name for some fucking reason. Name gendering is just tradition, patronymic gendering is grammar. (And if you have an “Ivanova Ivan Ivanovich” that’s just someone making a typo) (Maybe our hypothetical Ivanova Ivan Ivanovna transitioned and liked her birth name so much, she decided to not even go for Ivanna or something else plausible, Ivan or bust. Officials would probably just shrug and go with it lmao)
Oh, and in less formal lists and situations, surname + short given name is a classical combination. When I call my grandboss, surname + short given name is how I introduce myself, because I’m much younger and much subordinate so short name it is, but she’s under no obligation to identify me from my given name so surname it is. (To people who I expect to remember my name but who weren’t expecting me to call, just surname is good, but to people who can connect my surname with my identity but probably don’t remember my given name immediately & exactly from that, giving also the form of given name they address me by is the reasonable person thing to do)
If I were introducing myself in the “Hi! I’m Tsukino Usagi!” anime intro format, I’d go for “Short given name + surname”. Short name is usually the one people think of as their personal identity as it’s whatt their close circle will have been calling them for their entire life, and ACTUALLY it’s normal for the surname to come after the given name. In a book citation of “famous doctor X did Y” they will probably be “famous doctor fullgivenname-patronymic-surname”. For a Russian speaker, switching between Japanese name order and English name order is not a difficulty, but we WILL be distressed by not being able to tell which is which and therefore which it is on sight )=
MARVEL COMICS WALL OF SHAME
- Natasha Alianovna Romanova. First, “Romanov” is not a common surname, it’s the surname of the royal family, it’s like a random English guy being called “Tudor”. Well, it’s plausible, it IS formed by the classic “common given name + -ov” rule, but Roman isn’t even that common a name (and not exactly Russian), and... well. It’s just weird. I don’t think there’s good chances for it to have come into existence as such historically WHEN IT WAS THE RULING FAMILY SURNAME. Second! Natasha is a short name! She should be Natalia/Natalya! Third... I mean I will not say Alian is not an existing male name, and I won’t even say it’s not used in any cultures that exist within Russia, but if they were aiming for “common Russian male name” they missed 180 degrees.
- Ilyana Rasputin. First, -in is a suffix that makes this surname adjective-ish, meaning it conjugates by gender, meaning she is RASPUTINA. Her brother is Rasputin. She is Rasputina. Second, again, I have heard of exactly one (1) guy with this surname, and it’s the same guy you’re thinking of right now. It is in no way, shape or form common, or reasonable to give to a character without making it a plot point. Third, Ilyana is not a Russian name that exists. Ilya is a male name, but there’s no female form. FOURTH, I distinctly remember reading a comic where she was calling her brothers “Piotr” and “Mikhail”. That’s their full names! I mean bonus points for actually finding the full names this time, but it’s extremely weird for their LITTLE SIBLING to use them! They should be Petya and Misha as far as her own speech is concerned!
P.S. “All Night Laundry” is a fantastic webcomic, but “Grandimir” is not a real name, “Grand” is not a Russian word root and will not be used in a name this way, you’re looking for “Velimir” or somethng (though that’s, like, a thousand years antiquated). Also while both the uncle and the nephew having the “Petrovich” patronymic is not that odd, Petr is not THAT rare a name and maybe their brother/father was Petr Petrovich... considering we never learn their surname, I seriously suspect the writer just confused a patronymic with a surname. Also, naming their dog the same name crosses the line into slightly weird. Who names a dog after their father? This is actually what prompted this...
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Hi! How are you doing?
Could I request a NSFW alphabet for Jason Grace?
Thank you <3
pairing: jason grace (18+) x fem!reader
warnings: smut → NSFW alphabet
headcanon 🖤
•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•
requests are open🖤
request guidelines✨
🌻masterlist🌻
smut night masterlist 💦
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
aww jason would be such a sweetheart
he'd clean you up, make you a cup of tea or any other beverage of your choice, would help you to the bathroom and help you back to the bed
he'd love to cuddle with you and watch tv while the two of you ate some snacks
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
loves your neck
jason's favourite thing to do in any normal circumstance is cuddle into you and press his face into your neck before kissing the skin
and during sex???
oh my, he'd bury his head on the hollow of your neck, releasing moans against your skin
would also be a sucker for hickeys oop
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
jason would love cumming inside you
whether that's deep within your pussy
or in your mouth
and would secretly have a thing for feeling your cum on his tongue - especially when he eats you out and he's fucking you with his tongue
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
even though he's a soft little thing, particularly with you lol, he wouldn't be able to admit to liking dirty talk
he'd do it, sure, but the way you react to it would be an absolute blessing to him
the way your back arches or hips raise, the whimper that would fall from your pretty lips - he would just relish in watching you respond to his dirty talk
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
honestly not much
you'd both be virgins before you met each other and he'd be super nervous to have sex with you (still is, but he's definitely more comfortable when you've been having sex for a while)
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
honestly, probably classic missionary
to be able to hold you close to him would be such a cute thing for him
he'd love to grind his hips into yours and have your legs wrapped around his waist
fuck and he'd love when you tighten your legs around him and pull him closer to you
and to be able to feel your thighs shake against him as you cum
oooh and to have your nails claw at his back!!!
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
yes omg he's super funny during sex
jason would love to make you as comfortable as possible
not only does it relieve the nerve you both feel, but sex can be pretty intimidating sometimes
and so by being able to make you laugh and be comfortable, it honestly makes the sex that much better
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
idk i'd say he's pretty groomed 🤷🏼♀️
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
super sweet!
big fan of holding hands and asking if you're okay
he'd be kissing you relentlessly all the time - when taking your clothes off, or making out, or fucking into you
even if you both were trying out new kinks, he would be so cute about it and, again, make sure you're okay (that's honestly his number 1 priority)
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
lol yeah i mean he's a young guy with crazy hormones you kind of have to expect that
he'd never expect you to get him off all the time though, like he's more than happy to do it himself
especially if you guys + the others are on a quest and you're super tired
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
dom!! though he's super sweet, especially in bed, i can imagine him still being a huge dom (also a switch too but prefers to be a dom)
light bondage
dirty talk
honestly maybe a bit of Voyeurism too - like he'd love to watch you get yourself off. this is particuarly true when he's fucking you and you reach a hand down to rub your clit
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
shower
cabin
motel / hotel room when you guys are on a quest lol (& would find it hot when you're struggling to keep quiet bc you know the others are next door)
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
seeing you fight a monster omg!!
with your weapon of choice and having complete control of it
bonus points when you and him team up to fight the monster together!!!
would love when you back him up on arguments he has with authority about treating people fairly - or just when you back him up in general lol
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
degrading - i think one of his fears is hurting you and would hate to call you degrading names
probably anal too lol
would also never force you to have sex with him. like i mentioned before, if you were super tired or just not in the mood in general, he'd respect that (& would get himself off if he really had too)
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
neither of you care really too much of who's the bigger receiver or giver
both of you are pretty much equal when it comes to that
but when jason goes down on you
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
it's between rough and slow
he'd love slow and rough thrusts, where both of you are moaning into each other's mouths and the bed squeaking underneath you
but jason would also love when he's rough and fast - the thrill he gets when you're screaming and crying out for him
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
yes!
like i said before, this is particular true when being on a quest together lol
or even after training in either one of your cabins
or even in your apartment before work
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
yeah i'd say so
i mean both of you were virgins when you first got together so it's kind of a given that you'd experiment lmao
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
i'd say maybe 1 round but could spend hours overstimulating you
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i think the only toys he'd have would be handcuffs tbh
he'd probably prefer to get you off himself and not from some toy like a vibrator lol
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
jason would love teasing you but couldn't handle the wait so he'd just devour your pussy then fuck you ahah
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
i'd say pretty loud
lots of cute moans and grunts that would be muffled into your neck and mouth
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
seeing you in lingerie and jason's just like :o
and purposefully buying cute sets or body suits just so he can fuck you in it
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
i'd say maybe below average??
not too much but still a good size & would definitely know how to use it lol
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
lol both of you would be pretty hormonal and would have a high sex drive so i'd say yes to this lol
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
lol pretty quickly lol
like with aftercare, you guys wouldn't even get through 10 minutes of the show you'd be watching before he's already asleep oop
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#jason grace#jason grace smut#jason grace x reader#jason grace x reader smut#percy jackson and the olympians smut#heros of olympus smut#smut night
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