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channieismyboy · 1 year

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can't hold back anymore

{sub!hyunjin x f!reader} - masterlist

genre: roomates to lovers and smut

warnings: slight mommy kink, hand job, caught masturbation (m), overstimulation

sypnosis: you catch your roommate jerking off to the thought of you, turns out he's just as smitten for you as you are for him. - 3.2k

do not repost, translate, or upload any of my works and posts without my permission.

minors do not interact!! 18+

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you have been roommates with hyunjin for two years now. it hasn't been easy living with him. partly because he hardly cleans up after himself, and also because you've developed feelings for him over the past two years.

it started out as merely an innocent crush for the first few months. it's not hard to catch feelings for a guy like hyunjin. he's pleasing to the eyes, he has the sweetest personality, and not to mention he's remarkably respectful, which is uncommon for a guy. it's honestly one of the reasons you agreed to move in with him since his last roommate had left.

however, as time passes by, your pure feelings for hyunjin have turned slightly corrupt. in your defense, the man does walk around in your cramped apartment shirtless after a shower. his chest and arms are all shiny with residue water that hasn't dried yet. he also loves to let his hands linger onto your waist when he gives you a "friendly hug", which drives you almost insane.

yet, you know why he does those teasing actions. it's because he feels comfortable around you, and you're both good friends. 'friends' is the key word. hyunjin never shows any signs that he has interest in you. which you think is for the better, you shouldn't let your mind stray too much, he is your roommate after all.

you wake-up to your obnoxious alarm in the morning, and start to get ready for work. tonight you have a longer shift, unlike other days. as you leave your room, and head to the shared bathroom, you see that the door is closed. hyunjin must be there. you knock slightly at the door. "come in" you hear hyunjin say.

you turn the cold doorknob, and enter into the steamy bathroom. you are greeted with a shirtless hunjin. a towel is wrapped around his slender waist. you mutter a small 'thank you' and start to wash your face, while hyunjin fixes his hair next to you.

hyunjin gives you a small glance then starts the conversation, "so, do you have work today?" you answer while rinsing your face. "yeah, i have a longer shift today too. oh, and i might go out with some of my friends so i'll probably be home late."

you reach a hand out for a towel. but you can't find it. then hyunjin reaches out to grab the towel, and hands it to you.

"here, you looked like you were struggling" hyunjin says while laughing a little. he looks so adorable while laughing, you love the way his eyes scrunch up. you take the towel from his hands, with a sight blush on your face. "thank you".

hyunjin scans your face, you can see his eyes staring into yours for a few seconds, then they head down to your neckline, soon meet your chest, and dart back up swiftly. he likes to sneak small glances at your body whenever you wear something slightly revealing, like the tank top and shorts you're currently dressed in. you don't mind, he hardly does it, but when he does, the look in his eyes makes you enjoy it. it makes you feel like he sees you as more than just a friend.

"so, you sure you won't be home till late, right?" he breaks the silence between you both. you nod at his question. "if you bring home any guys, just don't be too loud okay?" he says in a playful manner.

you answer his little joke, "very funny hyunjin. i won't, plus you know our rule, we're not allowed to bring people home." you and him created this rule when you had first moved in. you both thought it would be better like this since it would be more complicated otherwise. hyunjin has never brought a girl home, and from what you know of, he hasn't been with anyone for a while now. neither have you.

you wish hyunjin a goodbye and leave the apartment.

it's almost eleven in the evening when you arrive home. you exit the car and say goodbye to your friends that decided to head out for the rest of the night. you settled not to go out after work, considering it drained the life out of you. taking your keys, you unlock the door to your shared apartment. you enter the place quietly, since you think hyunjin is sleeping as he hasn't answered any of your messages. tip-toeing to your room, you close your door and change into your pyjamas.

the walls in your cheap appartment are thin, so you can hear almost anything that goes on in every room. you hear a small clutter come from hyunjin's room. like something heavy had dropped. you also hear a small 'shit' he muttered under his breath.

you decide to go surprise your roommate and tell him that you stayed home, since you know he's awake. you don't think he heard you come in or he would have greeted you already. so, you're gonna sneak up on him. you exit your room and head across the hallway to hyunjin's room. the closer you get, the more you can hear what's going on. his door is somewhat cracked open just enough so you can get a glimpse of what he's doing. when you're right at the door, you hear him say your name out loud. his voice was low yet airy.

when you were about to go inside his room you hear it. it was loud and sensual. hyunjin moaned and kept repeating your name. you peek into the small crack at the door and see him on his bed, wet cock in hand. he's stroking it at a steady pace, his shirt is off and his pants are down on his hips.

you can't look away at the inviting sight, it pulled you in for more. you obviously caught your roommate whom you liked for the past two years jerking off in his room...to you.

all the blood in your body rushes up to your face, it feels hot to the touch. does this mean that hyunjin sees you the same way you see him? how is that possible?

you think back to tis morning, he asked you if you were going to be out late. he must have asked that so he can be sure you weren't going to hear this. he often asks that question to you. so he does this quite often then. that thought made you weak in the knees. you hear another moan. you feel like a bit of a perv watching hyunjin, but then again, he is thinking about you while jerking off.

knowing hyunjin jerks off to you, makes you confident and bold. you open the door with a creak, to reveal yourself. hyunjin darts out of his trance and stares at you. eyes blown out, face flushed, and cock twitching. he hastily tried to cover himself with a pillow. "w-what are you doing? you were supposed to be out with your friends." hyunjin stutters.

you ignore his question, and stare down at the provocative man who's trembling in embarrassment. his expression is priceless. hyunjin feels your gaze on him. he's never felt this intimidated before. it's as if the roles were reversed, and he's the vulnerable one. and its doing something stimulating to him.

"how cute. couldn't even keep yourself quiet while thinking about me?" your tone is daring.

hyunjin cannot make eye contact with you. his hands are still firmly gripping onto the pillow that's covering him.

"not gonna answer?" you ask. you then head to sit down at the corner of his bed. you continue, "fine then i'll ask a different question. how often do you do this?"

hyunjin realizes he has to say something. jerking off repeatedly while thinking of his beautiful roomate deserves some sort of explanation. even if he can't seem to say anything at your bold statements. he thought you would already be packing up your things and running out the door. however, the ambience you're giving off does not seem angered, rather, curious.

"please don't be mad. i just do this cause i think you're gorgeous," he says timidly, still not looking you in the eyes.

"still didn't answer my question, how many times have you done this?"

hyunjin says while looking at the pillow below him, "almost every time you're out late. i know you're mad at me, let me make it up to you."

there is it, the validation you needed to hear from your roommate. oh how you wanted to hear these words leave hyunjin's mouth. now it's time to push him further.

"oh baby, i'm not mad." you say with a smile on your face. hyunjin looks up at you. your joyful expression makes him feel much better. "now, remove the pillow," your voice changes to a more commanding manner.

hyunjin is stunned. he says the word 'what' in complete disbelief. you clarify, "you wanted to make it up to me, so remove it." you say, point blank.

he releases his grip from the pillow, and looks up at you one more time. once he sees that you're in fact not joking, he shakily uncovers himself before you. his hard cock fully displayed now.

now that you've gotten a closer look, it's safe to say that he has a pretty dick. it's nicely curved, with lots of veins, and his cute tip is leaking a little. you're surprised it hasn't gotten soft yet.

you smirk. you crawl to get closer to him. you notice his flushed face, he looks too cute, you think. hyunjin's back is on bedframe, so you get on your knees, and hover right above his cock. hyunjin is taking deep breaths, he dosen't know what you're planning on doing, but it's making more blood reach his acing dick.

he looks up at you innocently, his eyes are practically glistening. it almost makes you fold right there and then. however, you remain indifferent. "you always stare at my chest, why don't you pull down my top?"

hyunjin looks like a lost kitten. his hands don't move at your command. so you take his hand in yours, and lead it to your tank top strap, and slowly pull it down. you take his left hand and do the same thing. you let the garment fall down on your body. finally your breasts are exposed.

hyunjin's eyes dart to them immediately. his cock visibly twitches at the sight. for so long he's dreamed of seeing your exposed form, and finally he can see just how gorgeous you are. "fuck y/n, you're gorgeous," hyunjin states, not looking you in the face.

he raises his hand, and hovers it right above your right nipple. he's looking at you to make sure he has permission to touch you. you nod gently. that's all he needs to continue.

his fingers trace around your nipple, and his thumb plays with the bud gently. the sensation feels amazing, even if they're light touches. you enjoy his warm caresses, how he fondles them, and how every so often he brushes against your nipple. hyunjin handles you with such care. it's time for you to do the same.

his tender cock is just below you. so, you sneak your hand and hover it just above his shaft. you trace a finger from the base up. so slowly, yet with incredible pressure. hyunjin halts all movement. he stares at you in the eyes, with a contorted face. it's the first time you've touched him down there, and he never wants it to end.

a high pitched moan escaped his plump lips. you repeat your action, again and again. each time his reaction gets better. you're teasing him, and it's working. his hands land at your hips, and hold onto them. "this feels so good, please never stop," he says cutely.

"i don't plan on stopping."

you now grab his dick fully, and start to jerk it softly. you repeat this motion and watch hyunjin's face hungrily.

you pick up the pace quickly now. and when your hand reaches the tip, you use your thumb to swirl around it, making the man under you a complete mess. his begs for you to slow down don't stop you, in fact they add to your pace. hyunjin's moans turn into whimpers. he squirms under you, and bucks his hips upwards. you know he's eager to cum.

"p-please y/n, you're going too fast. can't keep up- ahhh," hyunjin's head jolts back at the feeling of your soft hands giving him too much stimulation. "sorry baby, but i won't stop anytime soon,"

as your pace gets faster and more aggressive, hyunjin's feels his high approaching quickly. all his senses are filled with you. your scent, your touch, your voice are giving him too much pleasure that he's going to cum.

"y/n i'm going to cum. please let me cum for you!" he says desperately.

"yes baby, be a good boy and cum for me."

drops of his cum splatter onto your hands. hyunjin's body convulses under you. a mix of whimpers and undetectable words leave his mouth as he finally feels his orgasm wash over him. hyunjin looks too adorable after cummed. his dazed out expression as he looks at you after is too much.

"t-thank you, mommy," hyunjin says.

you know he's a bit out of it, but the word mommy makes you smirk. "did you just call me mommy?" you say mocking teasingly him.

a once relaxed hyunjin is now panicked. his face clearly shows just how embarrassed he is. "n-no! i didn't mean mommy. i uh just said it cause-" you cut him off mid sentence.

"don't panic, i liked it. say it again for me."

he looks confused. nevertheless hyunjin does as told.

"that felt really good mommy..."

Omg ahhh im back besties! I really needed to take a break from writing, and I hope you all understand. I won’t be posting too often here, and I may start to change some things about my blog. Nevertheless I wanted to post this because I've had this idea for so long and it took me a while to write it. You can say this is a present for you all for almost 900 followers! Thank you so much for all the support. And for my friends here. I know I haven't responded to you, but I really appreciate your worries! Please be safe!

Do not repost, translate or upload any of my works and posts without my permission.

#skz smut #stray kids smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin #skz imagines #hwang hyunjin skz #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin soft hours #hyunjin hard thoughts #hyunjin hard hours

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lainiespicewrites · 5 months

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Hi friends!

So I’m tagging everyone that’s on the tag list for Coach Sy in this! Just because I’m not sure who all my mutuals are yet. Or how else to get this out there to the people I think are actually wanting to read my Walter story 😂🥲 Anyway! I just wanted to get some feedback! You totally don’t have to answer or say anything or interact at all obviously. Because you’re human and you all have free will! But …I’m rambling because I’m nervous …wow I really am turning into my self insert characters …or I write myself well…and I’m deflecting

Okay getting to my point! I’ve started my Walter story (literally have not even introduced him yet and I’m already panicking and doubting myself) but what I’ve realized is that because Walter is a comfort character to me. Because he is a police officer. And how his whole job is safety, I’ve been using this story as like a form of therapy? And started to recount my own Sexual assault and have been sort of trauma dumping into this story. Which has been a great release.

Night hunter the movie is super heavy. We all made a conscious choice to watch it. Some of us just because Henry is in it though. And might not like heavy triggering content like that. Others like myself. Might oddly find comfort in intense films like that. What I’m trying to say or ask is. Is this a theme you guys are okay with reading? It’s a lot different from coach Sy obviously which is healing in a different way because it’s so soft and sweet and comforting. And Walt will be too but. I just have to get the trauma out. Either way I think I’m gonna finish the story. But what I’m asking is do you guys want me to post it …or rework something else for Walter?

I’m not gonna be offended! I understand it! I’m totally okay with putting that out there because it helps me. And I know that if it helps me it’s very likely someone could connect with it and help others. I just didn’t realize that I was ready to pretty much tell the exact situation in a story. Sorry this is such a heavy subject guys. I love writing and I love that it brings us together and that we all can connect over someone that we love and brings us joy and comfort!

That’s kinda how I stumbled so hard into Henry! I knew of him but I hadn’t seen much of his stuff. But I saw him in Enola Holmes and (well first of all he looked damn good) but he was so big and something about him felt safe and protective. I’ve kind of hidden in that for a while.

Wow didn’t mean to get all emotional! But that’s tumblr! Thank you guys for all the love! Again you don’t have to say anything! If I don’t get too many responses I’ll probably just post it and see what the response is! I honestly love the little fan club i feel like I’ve gained here! You guys are awesome!!! ❤️🥰

Leave a comment, or reblog that’s totally fine, or if you’re more comfortable messaging me my dms always open! I just wanna make sure we’re all comfortable and safe here obviously I’d use tigger warnings and stuff but I also don’t want to post it if the majority of people won’t be comfortable. 💕

Tumblr tag list

@summersong69 @carrie80reads @identity2212 @caramariehurst @redheadrouge @warriormirkwood @gummydummy19 @deandoesthingstome @shellyshellshell @mary-ann84 @starfirewildheart @foxyjwls007

#captain syverson #henry cavill #fanfic writing #henry cavill smut #captain syverson smut #fanfiction #captain syverson x ofc #walter marshall fanfiction #henry cavil x reader #walter marshall fluff #august walker fanfiction #august walker #walter marshall smut #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall #night hunter

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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thoughts on society but not really

[Hi maggots, it's me, your kind of scarred mascot. I already made a post about the carnage that I witnessed in taking even one step into the ofmd fandom, so I won't go there.]

But at this point tumblr is where I go to for comfort and social interaction so here's me making a post before I pass out with the medications. The sore throat is killing me and honestly it's all a bit blurry right now, so things are gonna be not very clarified. Clarity. Idk.

I don't know at what point reality bleeds into fiction, and fiction bleeds into reality. I suspect not a lot of us do. More importantly, I have no idea what the consequences of that overlap are, and the whole artist from art theory. Like, if trans people get joy from the Harry Potter franchise, where JKR is a transphobic piece of shit, should they give up their joy for no fault of theirs or continue to indirectly support her? As a trans guy, I still find comfort in what the fandom created. Why is everything so messy-

Anyway fandoms, they're all so strange, aren't they? Whole communities with defined roles that also evolve and overlap, fade out and emerge. But physically they don't exist. Or do they? Are fandoms the people/the fans, or the source material, or the fanon material, or the canon creators, or the canon cast/crew/publishers? Which fans are representative and which aren't of the fandom as a whole? Is it about numbers or is it weighed against the intended message of the show and its impact and other factors?

Jesus christ my hands hurt I'm so close to passing out hnngh painkillers are wild.

hello maggots if anyone sees this i'd like a hug and some love, please? *holds out arms*

sending you all love. and comfort. it's a fucked up world. i hope i bring you some joy in it. i know for sure that you all do.

i'll hopefully function a bit more if the illness doesnt get worse, so I'll continue with GO/DW then. Maybe OFMD, though I'll have to see how without damaging my mental health severely. i think i used tumblr too much today i made a fake show and an ad for GO and honestly i do not remember what i did. night night.

#asmi #ofmd #good omens mascot #mascot #fandom culture #fandom #canon #fanon #weirdly specific but ok #maggots #society #separate the art from the artist #valid or not? idk #idk anything #im too tired to proofread this #or read the tags i put #goodnight my lovely maggots

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moonchildstyles · 11 months

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fic announcement and sneak peek!

hiiiii besties!!!

I said a while back when I announced columba that I would be coming back with another series for both Tumblr and patreon this summer and that time has come :)))))))))))

for the last four years Ive had this idea in my head for a super special h that ive just let build a home in my heart that kept growing and growing and growing! now ive finally had a chance to write it all out and make him real with a fun story and lots of little details to make him who he is!

I don't want to spoil too much about him just because I want there to be a little mystery for him and theres so many fun details that I think will be really fun to put together when you dont' know what he's up to!

so, starting on June 30th, Rosemary will begin being posted with a new part every friday here on Tumblr! Patreon will be getting early access with the first part being posted on June 16th, and every friday after! an extended sneak peek is also up on my patreon rn!

If you are interested in reading the new story, please wait until June 1st to sign up so you only get charged once at the beginning of the month and theres a full 30 days before the next charge!

you can also check out the Pinterest board I made for the fic!

let me know if you guys have any questions about anything! im sooooo excited and cannot wait for you all to read!

under the cut is a sneak peek :)

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"Thank you, Harry!"

The bow girl's chirping gratitude only had Harry looking at her stiffly with a grumbled Yeah falling from his lips. Just as she had done the last couple of months since she made herself a presence during his shifts, she only gave him a smile before bouncing away with her basket only containing a carton of banana milk and her favorite cookies. She was no longer perturbed by the standoffish responses he gave her. Harry couldn't decide if he liked that or not.

It was like this at least a couple of times a week. She never did a big shop, only stopping by at the later times to pick up individual ingredients for a dinner she had chatted to him about, or little snacks she couldn't seem to go a day without. During at least one of her trips, she found an excuse to talk to Harry; she asked him about his day if she was close enough to feel comfortable starting a question (Harry never gave her a good answer, honestly), she told him about her own day and what she was shopping for if there was anything specific she had in mind. She almost always had a bow pinned her hair, fluttering behind her and matching whatever soft piece of clothing she had cinched around her form. Harry had even began fishing out a pack of her favorite cookies from his boxes if he was stocking that aisle, just to make it easy if she came in and asked him for assistance. It made the interactions quicker and less bothersome—at least that's what he told himself.

He knew more about her and her routines than he had any of the hundreds of people he'd met in the last handful of years since he started moving around. Even if that did make him feel a bit guilty knowing that she didn't have a clue about who exactly she was sharing these parts of herself with; she didn't know the mess she was tiptoeing around every time she interacted with him.

Tonight was no different, her leaving a rattling in Harry's bones that he wanted nothing more than to ignore like every other part of his life. If he was superstitious, he would think she could have cast some kind of spell on him with the way she and her little bows lingered in his brain long after she had checked out and gone on her way home.

That rattling followed him as he made his way into the backroom, his empty box needing to be replaced. An exasperated sigh fought to leave his chest when he saw almost half of the overnight team huddled in the area, puttering about as they chattered and pretended to work. He didn't like being roped into their conversations, and that almost always happened when he ran into more than two of them at once.

Harry didn't say a word as he broke down the cardboard box on his cart, pushing it off to the pile of the other flattened boxes before he reached for another. The conversations had quieted some when he walked in, but he could still hear what sounded like Brett and Fawn flirting in the back corner with a cart of refrigerated items that needed to go on the opposite end of the store, and Theo talking to two of the other guys that Harry didn't bother to remember their names.

"Busy night, huh, Harry?" Theo started, dropping whatever topic he had been rambling his friends about just a moment before.

"Yeah," Harry answered, voice stiff. It wasn't any more busy than any other night as far as he was concerned. Besides, he had other things he needed to worry about to be making conversation with a coworker he barely knew. There was still a pearl colored ribbon tying his stomach in tiny knots that he needed to fix.

Soon enough, a silence fell through the backroom when the others made their way out. Only Harry and Theo were left, Harry doing his part to semi-organize his chosen box before heading out on the floor again.

Maybe it was the rattling in his bones, or the vision of a peach colored bow that he saw every time he blinked, but something in Harry felt a little reckless when he peeked over at Theo focusing on his own box.

"That girl," Harry rumbled, feeling odd in his skin as he spoke, "The one with the bows in her hair... She comes in a lot."

Theo looked taken aback for a moment, his eyes wide with furrowed brows as he looked in Harry's direction. He even glanced over his shoulder as if there was anyone else there for the conversation to be aimed at. Harry had to keep from scoffing, dropping his gaze back to his working hands.

Floundering over his words, Theo tried to catch up once he realized Harry was voluntarily talking. "Um, the one with bows in her hair?"

Harry hummed in response. "She's in a couple of times a week."

"Ohhh," Theo sounded, familiarity touching his tone, "You mean (Y/N)?"

Harry swallowed at the sound of her name. He'd never asked for it himself. "If that's her name, yeah."

From the corner of his eye, Harry could see Theo nodding his head some. "She comes in a lot, yeah. She's not good at keeping a list and always forgets stuff if she tries to do big shops, so she just comes in when she wants something or runs out."

Though he didn't want this information to mean something to him, Harry felt a part of himself slowing being fulfilled the more details he learned. She didn't tell him these kinds of things when she rambled about her dinner choice for the night.

Keeping his gaze tacked to his hands, Harry kept his words measured and calculated. "Oh," he started, "Is she from here?"

"She's lived here forever, yeah. Why?"

A beat passed as Harry opted to ignore the second part of Theo's response. He didn't need to have any details as to why Harry was asking after someone after working together for five months with only a handful of interactions. Even if he did want to share that, Harry didn't have any answers to that why, anyway.

"Does she... What does she do?" Harry asked, the phrasing of his words feeling awkward falling out of his mouth. He was lucky he was so used to shielding his emotions and staying stoic, otherwise he would have cringed where he stood.

"Like for work?" Theo asked, his eyes warm on Harry's profile.

Lifting his shoulders, Harry only shrugged in response. It was probably a good idea to keep his mouth shut.

"She—uh—she works at the bakery. She and my sister work there together," Theo told him, acting as if Harry was supposed to know what bakery he was talking about and who his sister was. "(Y/N)'s pretty nice, though."

"Right," was all Harry offered by the time he finished organizing his box. He didn't bother to give anything more in response or wait for Theo to say more before he was walking out on the floor again. Even when he could feel his eyes stuck to his back.

No doubt would this interaction make its way to the rest of the team before the end of the shift.

It was harmless curiosity, Harry argued. He just had to believe the harmless part.

—————

#other #mine.#harry #harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 6 months

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Hellooo! This one goes for a family request. I'd honestly like to see how would be the daily life of an autistic preteen!reader with their massive, adoptive family. Mostly how they would interact with the reader and adapt the house/environment to their needs and little quirks, such as learning about sensory overloads, stimming, helping the reader with social cues and deal with their emotions, helping them to actually vocalize their thoughts… Then later on having to listen to them rambling at random times about specific topics that reader is madly interested in (if it's not a bother, I think that reader info-dumping about beetles would be oddly cute for them)

Maybe they came to meet preteen!reader after learning that they had been rejected a few times already due to their behavior. (A bit of past experience and self-projection here, heh), the social worker would tell them about reader's disorder, which would explain their lack of eye contact, fidgeting and also lack of verbal interaction. Some members of the family would grasp the situation right away and take the reader in.

You're free to make it either a more list-like post or write a scenario which would prompt them to care for the reader. I hope you're having a nice day/night, whenever you're reading this 🤍🤍

I’m gonna use my personal obsession at the moment for this piece- Pokemon! I hope you like it!

-You have gone through several families, ones that just didn’t know how to deal with you, getting annoyed too quickly with you, trying to force you into situations that caused you to get overstimulated very quickly, and just treat you like you were… different.

-You knew you were different, you were aware that you acted differently compared to others, but you were very smart- getting good grades at school, and there were lots of things that you knew a lot about and you could talk for hours, if only they would let you.

-However, just because you were different doesn’t meant that you were less deserving of a happy home, one that was filled with patience, kindness, and love.

-This is what your social worker told your new family, that you were on the spectrum, but instead of focusing on the bad, like your past families had done, she only focused on the good, like how smart you were, that you loved to run around and play outside, and what a bright ray of sunshine you were.

-They were furious to learn how you had been treated in the past, those past families who treated you so cruelly, not accepting you for you- but that’s what made them different, they were all a melting pot of different personalities and quirks as well, you would fit right in with them.

-You had never had a family so large before- there were so many people, but unlike before, they were all so patient with you- letting you come to them, not at all bothered that you fidgeted a lot, or had a hard time making eye contact with them- to them, it was just some of your quirks.

-You got to know your family, on your terms, Loki was a prankster but he always made sure to tell you all about them, so you didn’t get scared or get worked up, and he didn’t pull pranks on you unless if you had spoken to him beforehand about the pranks you found funny that wouldn’t bother you.

-Poseidon, while not the most sociable person, at least to others, allowed you to just sit and ramble on and on about Pokemon, sitting beside him, showing him your team or the Pokemon you caught in your game, showing him your trading card collection, and telling him about all the lore and knowledge you knew about Pokemon. He would just sit there, occasionally taking a drink, but not interrupting you, something you adored, as you never got to talk to others like this before, before your new family.

-Loki loved it when you talked about Pokemon, he encouraged you, wanting you to talk more, and you did- as you were comfortable, even more so when he got a switch and got a Pokemon game, so he could play with you!

-Hades was the most patient with you, as he wanted you to talk, wanting you to verbalize your desires and questions, never making you feel foolish and many were soon following in his footsteps, being so patient with you.

-You had never had a family like this before- it was wonderful! You had never been so happy!

-Even when you get so happy that you unintentionally overstimulate yourself, they never made you feel like a burden, just letting you sit beside them, playing your Pokemon game, and just letting you calm down on your own terms.

-You flourished under their love and care, showing that what your social worker said was true, that you were a ray of sunshine, and that you were extremely smart- bringing home a report card with straight As, something they praised you for.

-When your social worker came for a visit, just to see how you were doing, she smiled, seeing you so happy, running around, playing with Loki and Buddha with your water guns- she knew that you would be healthy, safe, and happy with this family and she was elated to approve their request to formally adopt you- submitting the paperwork herself.

-You deserved everything you had- a home, a family, and so much love.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror poseidon #ror hades #ror loki

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obey-my-twisted-logic · 6 months

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Truth Spilled : Prefect is not the perfect extrovert they're assumed to be - not at all. Idia Shroud x GN!Reader (may be slightly fem leaning, apologies in advance if I missed anything like that)

Synopsis : post book 6, after Idia shows his skills, Prefect decides to take him aside when he seems overwhelmed by the people, leaving Ortho to entertain those who remain. As they reassure and comfort him, the cracks show and the shell reveals a close guarded secret.

Warnings : crying, mental health confessions, ptsd and beyond. Occasional cursing on both ends. Basic proof reading, potentially missed grammatical or spelling errors is higher than you think. Angst is real, but there's some playful fluff in the end. Only platonic in this blurb.

Authors Note : very self indulgent. How I personally have been feeling as the game progresses as someone with severe PTSD and anxiety. Had I been in a dorm, definitely would have been Ignihyde 100%.

---

After the impressive amount of prowess and just cocky amount of game play by the usually introverted dorm leader, you decided to rescue him when the nervous sweating kicked in. The initial adrenaline had worn off, and you knew the only reason he hadn't bolted was because Ortho had never looked happier, getting to interact and be normal with a group of friends, and making sure his big brother got to join in the fun.

Big brother was all "fun"d out, and as a good host, and just sympathetic anxiety riddled bean, you take him upstairs with the excuse of needing assistance with some older technology you had been relying on.

After gently steering him up the stairs and to the furthest guest room, you hold on lightly to the sleeve of his jacket to guide him. Nothing too invasive, but still a comfort, despite his initial flinch, he seemed to accept the action and looked almost grateful for the escape.

"Here we are. Furthest back and best insulation, trust me." You say leading him in and closing the door quietly. "Sorry for the white lie, but you looked like you needed the break, so I thought-" immediately your cut short by a nasty look and a huff as he dropped onto the bed and fell back.

"What would you even know about how I feel? What was I not cheerful enough for your liking? Perfect Prefect, of course you'd notice. Why'd you bring attention to it?" Idia snapped giving you a dirty look. Now Ortho would be upset and think he hadn't had any fun.

Sigh escaping your lips you take a seat on the floor and lean against the closed door. Eyes closed you steady your breathing the best that you can. Despite your best, tears streak gently and slowly from each eye. You can hear him shift panicked on the bed, assuming he was sitting upright and staring. You decide to keep your eyes closed, more amused by the expression in your mind and not wanting to embarrass yourself further.

"Idia, I know you're smart, I know you think you know all that there is to know about everything." Slowly you open your eyes, ignoring the tears, allowing yourself this moment. He wanted to know why you did it, why you interfered, well he'd certainly find out today. "You're not near as smart when it comes to any information you think you know about me."

"I grew up in constant survival mode. As soon as I begin to heal from the nightmare my life has been, I'm ripped into a world that I've never known. Most memories have been ripped from me of my old world, and I was dumped here with only my survival instincts keeping me from truly breaking down." You wipe some tears away, just to clear your vision to catch his gaze. He looked guilty and chewed at his lower lip.

"I've been nearly killed by half the damn people I call my "friends" and honestly, I do love them all, but the only reason it's even been possible is my desperation for survival." You laugh coldly and stand, the rant and your breathing becoming more erratic as it all comes tumbling out.

"Perfect Prefect? I don't have any other way to protect myself. Idia I didn't even have a phone until the THIRD overblot. THREE of the most powerful students on this campus had to try killing me for the fool of a headmaster to give me this... technological piece of shit." You toss your phone next to him on the bed. "I may not know much about this world, but I know about technology. It's different but very similar to what I used to work with in my old world..." Catching the surprised look on his pale face you can't help but laugh. "Yes yes, pitiful, magicless human knows how technology works. There's a reason that my grades keep Grimm an honor student, I'm far from stupid."

The crying resumes and laughter is mixed in as you give him a pathetic look. "Even he's attacked me, and Grimm's the closest I even have to a family in this hellscape. Idia I'm so tired." You choked up a sob and sank to your knees, back pressed against the wall now.

Unable to, refusing to look weak, you dry the tears beat you can as you answer his initial question. "What do I know about how you feel or why I interfered?" You let out a low and sad chuckle and look up to him. "Because I so desperately have needed to be saved, to be rescued and taken somewhere quiet so I could breathe that I couldn't just leave you like that. I couldn't just ignore the panic you were in." You let out a sigh and hug you knees unable to stable your breathing as much as you'd like.

"Feel free to leave or stay, do what's best for you. I'm just going to be here." You say after one minute stretches out into several. "I'd appreciate if-" Once again the Idia interrupts you, but in a much more surprising and soft way.

He embraces your trembling form, kneeling to be on the floor with you and just embraces you. He mumbled a genuine and quiet apology, stroking the back of your head. His hair provided a soft and safe warmth and glow.

You look up nearly sobbing again, and question him "Idia, will you be the friend I can be myself with? Will you give me the space to be pathetic and cry my anxiety away?" The sobs came out choked and desperate, pleading for him to be your safe space.

"Of course." He replied gently, never breaking the embrace. He gave the bed a dirty look. "First things first, we're getting you a new phone. Immediately." He grumbled unlocking his own to put in a rushed order. "There's no way you're going to be able to play games with me on that thing." He growled clicking his tongue, distaste for the headmaster evident on his face.

You burst into laughter and hugged him back, burying your face against his neck. You ignored his embarrassed noises, he didn't pull away or push you away, so he must be fine with it. "Sounds good to me." You mumble out, feeling a genuine sense of comfort from someone who finally could understand at least some of what you've been feeling for the entirety of your life.

#twisted wonderland x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #book 6 #idia shroud x introvert reader #short blurb #first fanfic #obey my twisted logic #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #secrets shared #platonic!shroud x reader

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anxious-witch · 2 months

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This post specifically goes for my mutuals/followers who have been struggling lately. I see you and I don't always have something encouraging to reply, but if you have been feeling down recently, I hope this will help.

TW for mental health talk, mentions of suicide (this is an encouraging post, but please don't read further if anything of the sort might trigger you. Keeping your mental health intact is more important ❤️)

It's so very easy to get in the spiral of "I am not doing enough, all these people that I love would be better off without me". And convincing yourself those same people would forget you and move on quickly.

It's not true. I understand the sentiment, I really, really do. I used to fully believe that myself. But that's a lie. Mental illness reshapes the way we think and perceive things. And our brain and wired to remember bad things more than good ones. But when you'd write down everything that happened every day, I'd honestly be surprised if all of it was bad. Of course there are bad days, but even then, depression tend to focus on things you did wrong instead of those you did right.

But I am here to talk about the fact that I'd miss you if you were gone, too. Which seems ridiculous. "Rio, you follow 1000 blogs, you wouldn't notice". *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! I would notice. As long as we ever interacted, as long as you liked and/or reblogged my posts, I'd notice.

When someone gets busy and I don't see them in my notes for over a week, I hope they are okay and just doing something more fun irl. I am not always great at remembering usernames, but as soon as they like one of my posts again I'm like yes!! They are back! I am glad you are okay!

"But I don't even contribute to the fandom!" No? Do you think creating content is the only way to contribute? Even just lurking and liking stuff counts. And I know some of you send really lovely anon messages that have made my day more than once. It DOES matter. Notes help other people as encouragement to keep posting. That absolutely counts.

"We barely post about the same fandom anymore" ah! But I still see you! I have a mutual that I have been following since 2016-2017, I believe. I have no idea what the hell he posts about these days. I can't rven accurately tell you why I originally followed him in the first place, it was either LOTR or Twilight, but fuck if I remember, because neither of hs posts about it!

And I still care. Because his journey ended up helping me. Seeing people's posts about their little achievements always makes my day. And even if you don't feel like you achieved anything in awhile, that doesn't mean you won't in the future. My point is, you are loved more than you know.

And this is only about online stuff. People notice when you walk down the street. Maybe someone likes your hair, or some detail of your outfit. Maybe someone saw you feed a stray and thought how nice you are. Maybe someone takes the same public transport as you every day and takes comfort in the fact you share the same path, if only for a few minutes.

This tumblr post perfectly described it, actually:

So please, if not for your own sake, for the sake of all the people who love you silently, keep going. It will get better. You might be just a bit further away from getting better. But you won't know unless you keep going.

So let's find out together, shall we?

#rio rambles #mental health #tw suicide mention #I think I might be getting way to ahead of myself #but I have seen posts and heard second hand about a lot of ppl struggling rn #so if this makes even one person feel a bit better it's worth posting

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kingkatsuki · 1 year

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you are a whole ass weirdo for blocking people out of nowhere for not REBLOGGING your stuff 😭😭😭 you are one of the most popular blogs in the whole mha fandom, you gotta be kidding you don't even lack the reach or the platform, i didn't peg you for being this interaction hungry

Hihihi! You’re clearly very upset that I’ve blocked you for not supporting content creators by reblogging their fics. I’m really sorry that you won’t be able to be a silent follower anymore, but maybe you can check out my ao3 instead if you just want to silently consume content without clicking any buttons.

The reason why I block people who don’t reblog fanfics (as I’ve mentioned a million times before it doesn’t have to be my fanfics, doesn’t even have to be bnha fandom) is because you bring absolutely nothing to fandom or the fandom community. There’s no point you following me, so I just block you to make myself more comfortable.

The people I’ve blocked for being blank blogs or not reblogging content that have messaged me have all been unblocked after supporting writers/artists. And honestly most of them have never reblogged any of my fics, and I’m okay with that… because they’re supporting someone.

There’s gotta be someone on this website that you hold above all else, that whenever they post they put a smile on your face? That bring you comfort when you’re having a bad day? That you actively look at their page first, like a morning newspaper or you think of randomly throughout the day like “oh, this was in ____’s fic,” … you don’t even want to support your most favourite author/artist?

It’s nothing to do with my “reach” or my “platform”. I’m a nerdy woman who reads and writes fanfic in my spare time, not David Attenborough. But regardless of whether I have 1 follower or 100,000 followers I, like every other creator that posts their stuff online (musicians, artists, writers, even fucking tiktokers) want feedback on my work! Even if it’s just an empty reblog or a quick comment “that was great” “good job” it means so much more than a like on a fic.

We’ve spoken about this before on tumblr but the like to reblog ratios on fanfics (and other content) is laughable. A fic with 5000 notes might only have 200 reblogs and 5 comments, and the lack of feedback will result in the creator wondering if it was even worth posting, if it’s even worth them posting again.

This is the reason why people stop creating, and it’s not just in the fanfic community. What do you think happens when your favourite musicians music flops, or your favourite TV show doesn’t bring in the ratings? People stop making, they stop producing. It’s the same shit with fanfics.

The fanfiction that you’re so mindlessly consuming takes time and effort. There’s a real person behind the screen gifting you their piece of art for free, and you don’t have time to click a button?

I’ve said it before, and I’ll continue to say it. I’m incredibly lucky I have the friends and followers that I do on this website, people that comment on my fics and reblog with the loveliest tags. Even the ones that are too shy to interact with me, I see your usernames in my notifs whenever you reblog something. But I know a lot of friends and followers do not get that same luxury, there are writers who pour their heart and soul into writing on here and get no likes, no reblogs and no comments. But people like you are reading and enjoying their fics.

How many times have you wished you got a part two to a fic? Or a new fic from an author who stopped writing? I know for people like you it’s easy to click out and just find something else to read, but I’ve lost some of my favourite authors on here because people like you won’t even click a button.

I deserve interaction, all the other creators on here deserve interaction.

TL;DR — You’re selfish, and I don’t want you following me💕

#me ranting soz babes xxx #jo talks

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habitsbf · 26 days

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⦻ 🪓 🐇 | UPDATED INTRO POST BELOW :D

hihi hybrids, welcome to my blog!! you can call me sai, ben, or sailoo. im 19 years old, use he/they pronouns, and am a transmasc agender freakazoid 💯 im also gay mlm, so theres that.

my posts mainly revolve around slenderverse, mostly the series everymanhybrid, but i have other interests too! heres a little list of some ↓

creepypasta, hlvrai, all sorts of rock and metal music, postal (video game), weapons, history stuff, rabbits and bunnies, horror and thriller films (scream, death proof, reanimator, spree, etc), roblox, and some other things sometimes.

i identify with a few characters, but not to the point where i can only see them as me though. im very aware im not ACTUALLY the characters and dont care if others identify with them too. its all really just for fun and comfort reasons!

a list of the main characters i identify with, my friends + their blogs, and a short dni list under the cut ✂️ ↓

evan myers + HABIT (everymanhybrid)

jesse davis wells (hollowhemlocks)

ben drowned (creepypasta)

benrey (half life vr but the ai is self-aware)

im mainly mentioning this since you will probably see a lot of content about those guys on my blog (mostly HABIT though, hes the one im fixated on the most)

FUN FACT: a few of my friends identify with characters connected to those ones! i think you should check out their blogs as well ^_^ ↓

@wickedstickyrocket - my alex koval + also benrey (we are LITERALLY the same person) 🚀

@pagodazz - my vinny/vinnie everyman + gordon freeman + others as well 🐍 ♡

@mankindsbadhabitz - my steph aka damsel 🌻

@maddymoregore - my jeffrey woods 🦇

DNI LIST ↓

basic dni criteria. terfs, proshippers, etc.

accounts that mainly revolve around NSFW, especially ones that post about detrans stuff. turning transgenderism into a kink is disgusting. you arent welcome here.

tcc aka true crime community. if you have fanart, edits, or memes of real murderers on your blog, dni. if you simply like learning about true crime cases, feel free to interact.

people who defend adam rosner or jeffery koval (the actor, not the character)

i honestly mainly block without warning, but might as well give some sort of little heads-up.

#; 🐇 ⦻#intro post #slenderverse

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sawronica · 19 days

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THE HUNGER GAMES HEADCANONS (DISTRICT 12)

@mollywog @districtunrest i know you both wrote asks with an interest in seeing them so hi!!

they are oriented as district 12 specfic but here are just some general fun ones I've garnered (feel free to ask me for my other ones, but the only reason these are specfic are because i don't have a lot)

KATNISS

for one, i've very much been set on katniss being on the spectrum/autistic because i can see a lot of my experiences as a ND person reflected in her interactions and personality. truthfully, i don't know if she'd officially get a diagnosis until post-war or ever pursue one at all.

i definitely agree that her injuries and the aftermath of the firebombing within mockingjay causes her to cut her hair short due to it being choppy and layered post-bombing (with a lot of hesitancy & anger as her hair was an important thing for her (especially her braid,) and with the loss of it comes ties to a lot of memories. i also think it would affect her deeply as i do headcanon that the people of the seam have native heritage, and her long hair was a show of such.

katniss seems to me as if she'd be aromantic or aspec, with her sexuality not entirely figured out, but i also think that could change overtime. i've always both liked everlark & eversee (madge & katniss,) so i think she could be bi-questioning.

i believe she'd take up pottery post-war, finding an interest in sculpting things with her bare hands and being able to control customizations within the home. something gentle and therapeutic that doesn't have any bad attachments.

to reclaim parts of her identity, i think katniss would eventually come around to painting her nails and wearing dresses of her choosing, but nothing too outwardly feminine. i think she takes comfort over appearance when it comes to her wardrobe, and i think she would definitely be more of a trousers person than skirts.

PEETA

honestly, i don't find myself having a lot of headcanons for peeta, but one that i do hold very dear to me is him being trans (specifically transmasculine.)

i think it's a thing that his family struggled to grapple with, especially with 2 sons already and the loss of a daughter they never had. his work in the bakery is amplified to meet that boyish physicality, but i also think that his features would hold some sort of androgyny already before his transition. post-games (the 74th,) i think he would've gotten top-surgery, with the possibility of a phalloplasty to follow. from that, i think he'd choose to keep the scars on either his arm or (good) leg.

i think he'd eventually get into more culinary dishes post-war, widening his cooking and also discovering a wider love for such things.

HAYMITCH

disclaimer: i have so many headcanons for him & cannot possibly fit them here. so here are the surface level ones!

first and foremost, i believe haymitch has quite long hair, his curls being his most striking feature as men within the seam often have pin-straight hair. i also think that it's one of his more attractive qualities, as i believe that he is able to take care of it a good deal.

i've always pictured him to have a bump in his nose, either because its naturally, or because he's broken it before. + i think he's got a natural clumsiness (one reason being because i headcanon him to be around 6'1-6'2 & doorframes are literally a common enemy but also because i just feel like it makes sense. super intelligent but will not see a crack in the pavement and will trip.) still shorter than chaff however, he's probably like 6'4 ..

sexuality wise, bisexual with no particular lean and no preference in partners. however, I've always stuck by him being celibate because i think it goes with his solitary attitude & that social wall he's built for himself but also for other reasons (such as the victor trafficking rink.) i usually pair him shipping-wise with hazelle or chaff (no death happened here guys .. like none)

post-war i believe he gets sober or at least heals his relationship with alcohol, and while the process is tedious, the payoff is a spot of health and stability. (because he does deserve it!) he's also got a fiesty ginger cat he found as a kitten called whiskey who is actively bent on scaring the geese and eating his food.

as a young boy (so around 14-16,) i've always felt that he'd take to woodwork and woodcarving (inherited from his father,) and would learn to make things such as bows, traps and knife handles. this enhances his hunting skills but also gives him an ability to create small wooden sculptures for his younger brother.

at the time of his games, full-body polishes weren't available & so he has all scars regarding his games, and also ones post and prior. he doesn't enjoy living with them, but they serve a reminder of who he is and each struggle he's faced. like badges of honor.

hi so as you can i see i am sooo normal about them.. my favs... let me know if you want more district oriented stuff!

#katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #[ headcanons — mockingjay trio ]#[ district 12 ]#the hunger games #thg #catching fire #mockingjay #yes i do call them the mockingjay trio. they are so special to me

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rhoorl · 4 months

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Just a sappy year-end post you can continue scrolling lol…

I’ve written and rewritten this so many times over the past week. The words were failing me on how to sum up this year, so instead here’s a long-winded stream of consciousness:

There are so many things that now have a new meaning for me thanks to the last nine months.

Sequins. Donuts. Ties. Mirrors. Belt buckles. Snakes. Holsters. Back Alleys. Bakeries. Pickles. Landscaping. Gray sweatpants. Honestly, the list goes on.

At the start of 2023, I was soooo excited to watch The Last of Us. I was a fan of Pedro and Mr. Rhoorl was a huge fan of the game so it was like a win-win and something for us to watch together. Little did I know how much that show and Pedro’s subsequent SNL appearance would change the rest of my year.

I still laugh when I think about how long I spent lurking on the Pedro subreddit before I said anything. But little by little, my upvotes turned into me leaving comments and those comments led to me finding some pretty awesome people. Especially those who encouraged me when I threw out a random comment about how I was thinking of writing a fic of my own after consuming so many stories and feeling inspired (I read my first fanfic in March of this year!).

I remember going to the movies one day in the summer. I arrived early (taking solace in having some peace and quiet) and as I sat waiting for the trailers to start, I typed up the skeleton of the Working Title plot on my phone. Fast forward to impulsively creating a Tumblr account and feeling like the eldest millennial ever hoping I wouldn’t get laughed out of the room as I tried navigating this site and interacting with people and their posts.

Then a few weeks later, I was reading one of my favorite series (The Layover) and got this idea about an AU where the Triple Frontier boys start a landscaping business. I was so scared to message Megan about it, hoping she wouldn’t think I was completely nuts (well, maybe she does). I’m so happy I took that deep breath and hit send on that message. It was an uncharacteristic move for me, normally I’d just think ha that’s a funny idea and keep it to myself. But so much of the summer was pushing myself out of my comfort zone so I thought, why not?

Speaking of taking a deep breath and hitting send…who knew that the idea of hosting an online watch party would bring so many amazing people into my life? It all feels like a fever dream sometimes with how it all came together and I’m not sure how everything fell into place but grateful doesn’t even begin to express how it makes me feel.

I’ll spare you the story since this is getting long, but this year had many highs and many lows. And what really helped me a lot during these lows was a lot of you reading this. Thank you for the encouragement, the laughs, and the shoulders to cry on during those low days, along with the silly graphics and gifs that made me smile (or gave me thots). I’m a pretty reserved and closed-off person away from here, but this year I decided to get out of my comfort zone a bit and just … try.

I know I'll probably never meet Pedro (except in my dreams), but damn if I did ever meet him I would love to say thank you. Thank you for putting so much heart and soul into your performances. Thank you for inspiring creativity in me that I didn't think was there anymore and for inspiring others to bear their souls out onto the internet by way of amazing, heartfelt, and thot-tastic stories. Thank you for giving me a reason to meet people from literally all over the world. This place feels like a playground sometimes with friendships striking up in the simplest ways, like “Hey you like Pedro/this character/this very specific photoshoot/this gif? Cool, me too let’s be friends.” I am so thankful to have made some true connections and friends here that I otherwise would not have met.

(And finally, because I'm me, I’d thank Pedro for being so broad and having amazing hair…ok I wouldn’t actually say that because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to form a sentence but dammit I would be thinking it that’s for sure!)

So to sum up, this year has been one of growth, of taking deep breaths, of silencing the little voice in my head, and hitting send, or post, or reblog. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it’s magic.

If you made it this far, thank you. I’ve gone through a few tissues writing this so I’m going to wrap things up. I don’t really have a profound way to end this rambling other than to say I’m here if you ever want to pop by and say hello or yell about the latest Pedro photo. I know there’s a lot of discourse on here from time to time about various pockets/groups but I feel pretty lucky to have landed in a corner of this site that is supportive and full of love. There’s plenty of room around the table for us all and I wholeheartedly believe in community over competition. I can’t wait to see what 2024 brings.

xoxo Jess

P.S. At what point do we test the Emergency Alert System ahead of Gladiator 2? I’m going to need a wellness check.

Pedro tax for your troubles:

#tw: long post #tw: personal #year in review

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yutaholic · 4 months

Note

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

#empathy fatigue is real #and the reason these shitheads arent getting tired #is because theyre not doing any of it from empathy

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epickiya722 · 3 months

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If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Thanks if you want to answer....

I'll tell you, all my fics are special to me and most of the time, I find myself having fun writing them. Writing isn't just a hobby, but a way for me to release pent up feelings I have or express an idea that came to me.

To name a couple...

Beware of the Bunnies - It's the first fic I wrote for "if Miruko was Midoriya's mentor". It was fun writing that fic, especially when it's a fic for my two #1 faves. I honestly didn't expect the amount of attention I got for it!

Not Red, Black - I sometimes like branching out from writing warm-hearted, funny fics and this is one of those times. Another AU idea I had, but if Miruko and Midoriya were eldritch-like creatures and related. Unlike its prequel, this one stepped more in horror imagery and I think the direction the fic took.

Forbid a Woman from Being Great - Yes, another Miruko fic and one I actually wrote out of spite. When it comes to this fandom (as with any), is how double standard they can get. With Miruko, I have seem people hate her for being "too aggressive" or "too mean", but praise other characters for those same traits or even give excuses for their behavior. Or with fanservice, the same people who complain about it also thirst over the male characters getting bloody and shirtless. I don't hate characters like Dabi, Shigaraki or Hawks but I can't stomach how their fans act when it comes to Miruko or any other character really. It was actually a Hawks fan that irritated me enough to write this fic as well as get me out of the writing funk I was in.

An Absolute Menace - This is a fun little fic. It's part of a series of Class A and occasionally B partaking in antics. With this one, writing Koda as this troll was new, but fun.

Let's SK8 Over the Rainbow - This is actually a SK8 series that I wrote and it's still one of my favorites. It started off as a headcanon (Reki allowing Koyomi to paint his nails) and then spiraled into a collection of short stories themed around colors and I love colors so much. One of the fics, You're Lime Green Jell-O, I dove into expanding a character that only appeared once in SK8. Her name is Miki and she has green hair and I remember seeing her and going "You, you're getting some personality, a story, etc." Best decision ever. I just loved writing Miki and I think it was the first time I wrote a whole story for a character that only had two lines in canon.

Tu es le Moment Auquel J'appartiens - Another series I adore. I wanted to write some jealous Vanitas since I don't think I had seen a lot of Vanoé fics where he was the jealous one while Noé was more oblivious. Not at the time, I don't know about now since I haven't read a VNC fic in a long time. The title translates to "You are the moment I belong to" which is a line of lyrics from the anime's first ending song that I love so much.

It's the Pink Hair, Isn't It? - Do not get me wrong! I do love the AUs I see where Sukuna and Yuji are brothers, but the idea of this fic came from what if they were identical strangers and not related in the slightest. Even funnier, in the fic, Kenjaku and Suguru are siblings that look like twins, but Kenjaku is older. My favorite scenes probably have to be Kenjaku and Yuji interacting and Sukuna and Yuji meeting. I've also been cooking up a sequel so I can write more of Kenjaku and Suguru being siblings and Yuji's brothers and I do mean all nine older brothers. (I relate to Choso so much.)

Your Heartbeat Is My Comfort - Ever see a beautiful piece of fanart and you want to write a fic about it? That's what happened here. I saw this FushiIta art post here and it was like BAM! I had to write a fic. It was also another I didn't write something comedic, but more somber, bit of tragedy yet comfort in there.

Maybe Someday We'll Meet Again - I'm all for the Teacher Geto AU! However, this fic came from a what if scenario had Suguru and Yuji had met when they were younger and I always how Kenjaku was even aware of Suguru's technique. So I put both ideas together and thus this fic was born. It isn't dark, but little less comedic than others and I tried my hand at focusing on more of Yuji's strangeness and innocence here along with Suguru's character before he became a curse user.

You Are My Special - Again, another time I went for less comedy and fluff and tried with something else. I actually don't know how to categorize this one in terms of genre. SPECIALZ was stuck in my head for a long time and it got when I really started thinking about the lyrics and decided why not try writing something from Kenjaku's POV about Yuji? It may have took forever to write, but I'm glad I did. I actually wanted to write a companion piece of sorts but from Sukuna's POV about Yuji.

The Pink Sky and Cherry Blossoms - I actually just posted this fic and I'm glad I waited to answer this ask because of it. I was rereading the manga and came to Uro's fight with Ryu and Yuta and instantly fell in love with her character and thought about how would it have been like if Uro met my other favorite, Yuji? They have some similarities going on there and it was eye-opening writing those into this fic, especially with Uro's character. I wasn't around when that arc came out, so I didn't know how the fandom acted towards her, but for me, I just felt there's more to her than the surface. She's the Miruko of JJK to me as Yuji is the Izuku. Just as I would love for Miruko and Izuku to be a duo in a big sis-lil bro/mentor-mentee way, I love the same for Uro and Yuji.

The Craving That Paints Your Lips Red - The last fic I wrote for 2023 and a sequel to another fic, I wanted to try my hand at the horror again. But more tame, but still "Oh my gosh". I'm writing a post about it, but I have thoughts about Yuji and Sukuna's relationship and sometimes I have this feeling that Sukuna wants to corrupt Yuji, kind of like shape him to be the next him almost. Not for certain, but it's an idea that kind of struck me. For this fic, I wanted to explore a more horror fic side of Yuji housing the King of Curses. The best part of this fic for me is how I unintentionally stuck with the idea that Yuji keeps getting back up no matter how many times Sukuna tries to break him.

That list got longer than intended, but again, I have a lot of fics I have enjoyed writing! I'm glad to have talked about them and I thank you for asking! 💜

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sungbeam · 2 months

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spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

hi anon! thanks for sending this in :') im always so bad at posting these things, but i can def do this one. i don't know if i would classify them specifically as favorites, but more so people i've interacted with the most 😭

@justalildumpling : i don't even need to go on besides saying that this woman is my soulmate. "in another life" but we're gonna beat the universe and meet in every life, type of connection. the girl who has seen me at my worst and has still treated me with as much kindness and compassion and care as she did the first time. i feel like in certain ways, we're kind of polar opposites, but also the same? i mean, on paper we can be so different, but when we talk abt what we like and dislike, when we laugh together, it all becomes something of the same and she restores my faith in other people again. she's the person who constantly makes me want to be a better person.

@ethereal-engene : one of my two beloved 姐姐's on this site skfnrknf but i remember talking to ash so many nights abt just any and everything. i am so happy that we're comfortable enough to be able to joke around, share our niche interests, have deep conversations, and even pen pal!! like i think it's crazy how SIMILAR our families are; we could legitimately be long lost sisters haha but also the blood of the covenant runs thicker than the water of the womb sometimes, so that makes sense. she's one of my comfort people, and honestly, i feel like we both come out of nowhere with some topics, but either person will hop right into the convo regardless and just vibe 🤧

@winterchimez : my second 姐姐 on this site !! my older sisters def take care of me well and i am so grateful for that :')) ally is always so supportive and yet so energergizing to talk to. she's def seen a lot of my brainstorming and i feel very comfortable bouncing ideas off her. she's always so generous with me too, like care packages??? RAH 😭 obviously, i love her for reasons besides the material goods, but it's a love language nonetheless. ally is prob one of the warmest and most welcoming presences on this hellsite tbh, so if ur ever looking for a new friend/mutual, she's the best.

@loveliestfelix : nana is another reason why im still around. i like to thank that beomgyu drabble every day for kickstarting our friendship because i have never met someone i have had such lengthy and fun brainstorming sessions with. nana is the type of person i would love to meet irl and just share stories over coffee with, though i feel like i always associate her with train rides and coffee now HAHA she's also one of my greatest writing inspirations, like i was and have always been blown away by her mind, and her word counts. i love calling her the queen of angst, and you will never be disappointed when reading something of hers.

@jaehunnyy : chip's been here for a really long time, like guys, no one can compete when she's been here since i had park jisung as my pfp and she had jeno as hers 😭 i think i really treasure our friendship and how much it's grown over the past two years :')) so much has happened over that time, and i think that if i met her in real life, i would just be blown away by how pretty she is like TT anyways,, i always love talking to her because of how much chaotic energy we create when we do, like i feel like we can power an entire city grid with how much chaos we make, and it's all the better for it. i love her very much, and i hope she understands just how wonderful of a person and friend she is.

@mosviqu : oh, my beloved bar, i love u to bits and pieces. i think recently you've become one of the few reasons why im still here writing and posting. like i am so utterly, from the bottom of my heart, grateful for all of your support and the love you've given and shown me. and even when we moved to dms to converse, i just realized how cool you are as a person, and how similar we are (in the best way possible). it's really nice to be able to connect with a person on multiple levels, and im really happy that was the case with us :') as soon as i saw ur love for tomorrow by chanyeol, i knew there would be something more to our friendship. i am so very fond of you, and your writing blows me away every time i read it.

@zzoguri : moni :( i hope ur doing well, friend, and i know you haven't been active here lately but i do wish you all the best. i love how passionate and committed you are to improving in writing and developing your own creative writing style, and it's so impressive to read your writing in general :') i love the confidence you advocate for yourself, and how real you are. thanks so much for being a friend; i just really appreciate all the support and hype you've given me during my time on deobiblr, like thank you for being such a thoughtful person.

@wuahae : cat and i have definitely interacted more off this site than on this site, but i felt that it was dire she was included here nonetheless. like bro, thank you for literally being the reason i come out of my apartment (or in most cases, invite people to my apartment), and for thinking of me! i think i once told you how hard it is to find friends in college, but you've made my experience here far less lonely. i love getting dinner with you, planning outings, and making weird animal noises together on the streets 😭 also, cat's writing is literally so poetic, and just her explaining to me her plot ideas tears visceral reactions out of me TT

@yunhoszn : i feel like me and fawn are low-key on the same wavelength a lot of the times, but in general, i think fawn's just such a rad person. i've told her once or twice before but i genuinely love her writing style because it has so much personality in it. it just makes reading her fics such a fun and enjoyable experience. also even off this site, i have so much fun interacting with her, like just commenting on her instagram posts like the gremlin i am, i know she's gonna hit me with the best response back skfnkejd (waiting for the day i go to where u r so u can do my makeup low-key... ur so fly, pls do my makeup...)

@goldenhypen : em, my lovely twin :')) i know our interactions have def decreased, but i don't think that's decreased the fondness we hold for one another. i remember when em first started interacting with my works and then followed me, i literally rolled off the couch cuz i started fangirling 😭 and she is one of the most genuine and brightest presences here. she is a follow forever, bro, you better follow her forever. i just adore her compassion for others and her absolutely adorable fic concepts, and omg don't even get me started on her work ethic 😭 i wished u the best everyday you had requests, i don't know how u did it. you are literally superhuman.

@hqrana : i haven't spoken with noa in quite awhile, but im guessing it's cuz she's girlbossing her way through to that nursing program 🤧 my favorite woman in stem girl in this hellsite, she is my beloved xnonie 😭 i think i just appreciate noa's undeniable presence and character so much, like she brings so much energy to my inbox whenever she's here, and her support of my ideas and fics just makes me 🙇🏻‍♀️ like thank you for being here. and to know we both love marvel and taylor swift? i feel like she has to be like,, my best friend? like she needs to be my best friend?? sending hugs and well wishes your way, always.

#sungbeam strikes again #moot ❧#lovely anon <3 #most of these people arent super active here anymore but love to them regardless

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northern-passage · 1 year

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honestly same...I also only stick to reading the same ifs I've been reading since like 2 years ago + as a disabled lgbt person this community has gotten to toxic to interact wth tbh

hmmm putting this under a read more but here's some ramblings about my personal experience as well as some advice if anyone wants it

before i started writing tnp, when i was just a reader, it was very easy to curate my space and avoid a lot of the nastier people (especially back when the forums were the main space for people to talk about IF. i didn't go on the forums at all) and i was very much outside of the fandom and followed only like one artist whose recommendations i started off with before finding more stuff on my own.

once i became an author though it is impossible to avoid certain groups of people and it's really hard to hold on to that comfortable space. over the last like 3 years now my audience has definitely changed and dwindled a lot due to my.... Big personality but before that i had to endure a lot of harassment, people stalking me, people harassing my friends just for being my friend, almost constant transphobia and racism, and even now i still have people that seem to just camp in my inbox waiting for any opportunity to try and hurt me/get a reaction out of me.

i've been pretty open about all of this stuff happening too which most people also don't like, though that seems to be pretty standard across any fandom when you try to talk about how bad they are. i'm never really surprised when other authors delete without any warning or they just slowly stop posting and never come back. it's definitely something i've wanted to do more than once and still think about sometimes. even now after finally seeming to find my "niche" and a more understanding audience, it's really hard and i struggle with finding inspiration and motivation because of how people have treated me.

unfortunately i think it's always been this way, it's the nature of sharing work online and especially with IF feeling so "collaborative" people really feel entitled to it. and i also see readers facing this same kind of harassment, too, so it's definitely not just an author problem.

my advice is to just block and ignore people as best you can and just stay in your own little bubble with your friends or at least people that you trust. if you're an author going through any of the things i mentioned then just know there are a lot of other authors that have had to go through it, too, and that you should also just block and ignore to the best of your ability. just because you're an author doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. i used to respond to a lot of messages which is why i feel that a lot of my harassment lasted for so long, because they thought it was "funny" to upset me, but the more you respond and give them attention the more they'll keep doing it. so just block anons and move on (i know i make it sound so simple. trust me i used to be really bad about it, now i try to take at least a day or two before responding and usually by that time i realize how stupid it is and i just delete it without any fanfare)

at the end of the day though it's your decision, and your well-being comes first before anything else. i say this to both authors and readers, there's no reason to force yourself to stay in a place that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. sometimes it's better to just let go and move on, though i know that's easier said than done. i'm a prime example as someone who still logs into tumblr daily despite trying really hard not to do that.

and i'm not saying to give up on your work, but rather that writing privately is always an option, and it's what i've been doing now with my other projects ever since i took siren's call down. i know the desire for outside validation can be overwhelming but i think it's important to remember that you should be writing this for yourself first and that there's no harm in keeping your work private until you're ready. tumblr is fun but there's also a lot of problems that can be difficult to deal with while you're also trying to keep motivation and creativity up to write your story, and it can be really discouraging.

like i said, your first priority should be yourself, and if you have to step back away from tumblr/fandom then you should & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

all of that to say that there are nice people out there, too, i've made really good friends here and i really value their friendship and their understanding, especially when i was going through the worst of it. and there are a lot of readers who have been very kind to me and that have sent me very nice messages and drawn lovely art over the years and i always try to focus on that over everything else.

it can be really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity and hostility which is why it's so important to find your people and be supportive of each other.

#obviously negative discussion under the break #i might delete this later #the only thing i dont really have any advice for is the stalking. im still dealing with fallout from that #and i don't know if it's something that i'll ever be able to get over or really feel closure about #ask #anonymous

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