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corallapis · 6 months

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Hi <3 No obligation to answer, I know dw lore is really convoluted and there's a lot of expanded universe material, but you've mentioned a few times that you think the War Chief is the Master. I'm also a War Chief/Master truther because I think that makes the contents of The War Games more fun and interesting (& also could count as another time the Master got the Doctor killed <3 romance <3) but I wanted to know if you had more reasons/examples from canon that supports that idea

anon i’d be delighted to talk abt the war chief!!! he’s My Guy <3 and (dare i say it?) possibly even one of my favorite incarnations of the master. i’ve got lots of quotes for you under the cut, but to give a short summary of So Why Do People Think the War Chief is the Master, Anyway?:

the war chief was introduced in the war games, written by malcolm hulke and terrance dicks. (dicks, it should be mentioned, was also co-creator of the master, with barry letts.) when hulke & dicks novelized the serials colony in space, terror of the autons, and the war games, they dropped several hints that the war chief and the master were the same man. so, the creators of the characters were the first to suggest a connection between them.

but, i hear you cry, didn’t dicks go on to write timewyrm: exodus, which shows us a future incarnation of the war chief that isn’t the master? yes, because the official editorial line for the vmas & vnas was that the war chief & the master were two distinct characters. this caused more than one writer that personally believed them to be the same to write otherwise professionally. however, i think dicks still dropped hints linking the two despite this editorial limitation.

and what about magnus, the guy who’s well-known in current fandom as the “academy era” version of the war chief? conceived of by gary russell, magnus was originally written as a young incarnation of the master, not the war chief. in flashback, goth opera and invasion of the cat-people, the character of magnus is a young master. so why did russell retcon his own character in divided loyalties to be the war chief instead? he did so out of respect for david mcintee, who had recently written a different backstory for the master in the dark path, using the name koschei. despite divided loyalties’ portrayal of magnus and koschei as separate characters, it actually in large part serves to conflate the two further, due to said retconning.

in faction paradox lore, the war king is a version of the master (i don’t need to make a post on that, do i?) that also was once the war chief.

and now we’re really getting murky canon-wise, but craig hinton’s rejected pda time’s champion (ultimately completed & published after his death, by chris mckeon) explicitly depicts the war chief as an incarnation as the master, as well as reasserting that magnus was the name the master used at the academy.

even with all this Evidence, i’m like you, anon — i just think it’s Fun. i mean, just look at the guy lmao. if you can’t see the way that future incarnations are riffing off him, idk what to tell you. and ultimately, it just makes the most sense to me. three & delgado’s first meeting doesn’t really strike me as a First Time Seeing You Since You Left kind of affair, but the way two & the war chief react to seeing each other? and the conversation they have abt it…? yeah. love it.

the ‘70s target novelizations

doctor who and the doomsday weapon (aka colony in space) was the first novelization to feature the master, and was written by malcolm hulke in 1974. it begins with a scene that doesn’t occur in the tv story, where a senile old time lord tells his apprentice about the theft of two tardises by a pair of time lords now calling themselves the doctor & the master:

“There have been two stolen, you know.” The younger Time Lord didn’t know. “By our enemies?” he asked. “No. By Time Lords. They both became bored with this place. It was too peaceful for them, not enough happening.” The old Keeper smiled to himself, as though remembering with some glee all the fuss when two TARDISes were stolen. “One of them nowadays calls himself ‘the Doctor.’ The other says he is ‘the Master.’”

if there have been only two tardises stolen (at this point), then where does that leave the other renegades we've seen on tv? well, the answer to that is that the target novelizations were meant to be self-contained, without prior knowledge of the show needed or past episodes taken into account. it’s easier and cleaner to present the doctor & the master as the only two renegades. except the older time lord continues, and a little further on says:

“There were tens of thousands of humans from the planet Earth, stranded on another planet where they thought they were re-fighting all the wars of Earth’s terrible history. The Doctor” — he interrupted himself — “I told you about him, didn’t I?” “Yes,” said the young Time Lord, now used to the old Keeper forgetting what he had already said. “You mentioned the Doctor and the Master.” “No, it wasn’t the Master,” said the old Keeper in his confused way. “The Master never does anything good for anyone. He’s thoroughly evil. Now what was I saying?”

despite the self-contained nature of the novelizations, the events of the war games (which had yet to be novelized, when this was written) have occurred and are specifically brought up in relation to the doctor & the master. what does ‘it wasn't the master’ mean? the keeper’s confusion leaves it open to interpretation, but the fact that it’s brought up at all is quite a hint.

terrance dicks then wrote doctor who and the terror of the autons in 1975. additional info is added to the scene between the doctor and the time lord who comes to warn him about the master’s arrival on earth:

“As a matter of fact, I’ve come to bring you a warning. An old friend of yours has arrived on Earth.” “One of our people? Who is it?” The Time Lord pronounced a string of mellifluous syllables — one of the strange Time Lord names that are never disclosed to outsiders. Then he added, “These days he calls himself the Master.”

he uses the master’s gallifreyan name first, as if the doctor doesn’t know the name he’s now going by yet. then, we’re given a description of the master, including:

Already he had been behind several Interplanetary Wars, always disappearing from the scene before he could be caught. If ever he were caught, his fate would be far worse than the Doctor’s exile. Once captured by the Time Lords, the Master’s life-stream would be thrown into reverse. Not only would he no longer exist, he would never have existed. It was the severest punishment in the Time Lords’ power.

which brings to mind the war games, as the punishment described here is exactly what the time lords did to the war lord & what they would have done to the war chief, if he hadn’t died/escaped. and, speaking of that escape, the doctor asks:

“Is his TARDIS still working?” “I’m afraid so. He got away before it could be de-energised.” “Then he was luckier than I,” said the Doctor sadly. He had never really got used to his exile.

unlike the doctor, who was unable to get away from the time lords at the end of the war games, the master was ‘luckier.’ this could, of course, mean a more general escape from the time lords by the master, but i’d say all the hints here are pointing in the same direction.

in 1979, malcolm hulke wrote doctor who and the war games. the first conversation between the doctor and the war chief is slightly changed, and again it’s reiterated that there have only been two tardises stolen. first, the war chief teases the doctor about who he must be:

The War Chief took the Doctor into his private office just off the war room and told his bodyguards to leave. “Now,” he said, “a traveller in a time-space machine. There is only one person you can be.” “I had every right to leave,” said the Doctor. “And to steal a TARDIS?” The War Chief smiled. “Not that I am criticising you. I left our people too. We are two of a kind.”

and later, he summarizes that their empire (their empire <3) will be secure because, again, they’re the only two with stolen tardises:

“Now I understand,” said the Doctor. “It’s my TARDIS that you want. But surely you have one of your own?” The War Chief smiled. “No more mine than yours is really yours! We are both thieves, Doctor. Yes, I do have a TARDIS hidden away. But are not two better than one? While I rest and enjoy the spoils of victory, you can patrol our empire. And I shall do the same for you.” “Our empire?” “We shall rule the galaxy without fear of opposition,’ the War Chief said confidently. “For we shall be the only two who can travel through both space and time.”

this (very romantic imo) proposal is also, of course, very reminiscent of delgado’s ‘half-share in the universe’ proposal to three.

timewyrm: exodus by terrance dicks

in 1991, terrance dicks wrote a vna, timewyrm: exodus. in this novel, the war chief appears as a botched two-bodied regeneration after his death at the end of the war games, called dr. kriegslieter. no mention of the master is made. as i said before, i think this is down to virgin’s editorial policy, and i think there are hints connecting the two nonetheless. like when the doctor realizes who kriegslieter is:

And behind them, aiding them, manipulating them, giving them the time technology they needed, the Time Lord renegade who called himself the War Chief. Or, in German, der kriegslieter. “Well, he couldn’t have spelled it out for me much more plainly,” muttered the Doctor.

like, c’mon. it’s just classic master shenanigans to have your alias be an extremely obvious translation of your name. and then there's also kriegslieter’s plan, which is to steal the doctor's body to use as his own (complete with sexual innuendo):

“Once I have wrested from it the secret of the TARDIS, your mind will be of no further interest to me. But your body…” “Please,” said the Doctor, looking embarrassed. “Ladies present.” “We are both Time Lords, Doctor, our brains and our bodies are compatible. Regeneration therapy is far beyond the War Lord’s scientists, but even they can manage a simple brain transplant.” Kriegslieter studied the Doctor with detached, clinical interest. “To be honest, it isn’t the body I would have chosen but it’s infinitely superior to the one I have. When all this is over Doctor, I shall be you — and you, or whatever shattered gibbering remnant of you is left, will be me. Appropriate, don’t you think? A crippled mind in a crippled body…”

how many times have we seen the master do that? maybe only once when this book was written (in the keeper of traken, of course) but at least three more times since then, by my count. in addition ‘we are both time lords’ is an echo of both two & the war chief's conversation and three & delgado’s (in the mind of evil, the claws of axos, and colony in space).

kriegslieter also calls seven ‘my dear doctor’ throughout, which is not a quirk of speech that the war chief has been ever shown to have. i can't claim it's unique to the master, but i think there's a certain history there. (did you know ainley says it five times in one 50 min long serial?)

magnus, as the master

as said before, the character of magnus was introduced in comic flashback, which appeared in the doctor who magazine winter special for 1992 and was commissioned and edited by gary russell (& written by warwick gray). it depicts seven and benny viewing a scene from the doctor’s past, where two old friends, thete and magnus, are at odds.

magnus was, at the time of this comic's creation, meant to be the master. there is no connection to the war chief in this story. which is why when goth opera, written by paul cornell, is published in 1994, magnus is the name used for the young master when listing out the doctor's school friends:

“That was when I was young and wild, Doctor. My contemporaries and I grew up to take our responsibilities seriously.” “Ah…” The Doctor nodded. “Unlike my year. I begin to see.” “Yes.” Ruath warmed to her subject, sipping from the goblet. Her eyes never left the Doctor’s. “Mortimus, the Rani, that idiot Magnus. And you, Doctor. All graduates of Borusa’s Academy for scoundrels.”

and, in 1995, when gary russell wrote invasion of the cat-people, he again used magnus as a name for the young master, referencing the master running out of lives far more quickly than the doctor by the time of the deadly assassin:

Polly smiled. “I’m glad you’re completely recovered, Doctor. You had us worried, you know.” “Regeneration’s a tricky thing,” he said. “And it was my first one. Always the trickiest. They’re supposed to get better as they go on, so long as you don’t flitter them. Always used to say to my academy chum Magnus, ‘Magnus,’ I’d say, ‘Magnus, don’t throw old bodies away like you would a suit. They don’t grow on trees.’ Or something like that. Never listened though.”

when gary russell wrote divided loyalties in 1999, he followed mcintee’s lead in using koschei as the name for a young master, and instead retconned magnus a younger war chief, showing the two of them interacting during the doctor’s academy days — the final nail in the coffin of our lil theory, right? well, all i’m going to say to that is that all the academy era stuff we see is actually a nightmare the fifth doctor is having. so who’s to say he didn't dream his best friend as two different people? (he forgot which one of them killed a guy with a rock, after all...)

the war chief king

in the book of the war, the 2002 faction paradox ‘encyclopedia’ edited by lawrence miles, the entry on the war king states:

His personal assistant notes that his office is brimming with official business, but devoid of decoration. The only concession he makes to sentimentality are the components of a hypercube, twelve white squares stacked neatly on his desk. Its significance is unclear, but it’s thought to be the War King’s last remaining link with his unfortunate past.

the very first use of a hypercube was, of course, at the end of the war games, when the second doctor called the time lords in. if that's not concrete enough for you, the war king spells it out even more clearly in the 2021 audio sabbath and the king:

THE WAR KING: I have failed to introduce myself. I am— ah, but as we have just seen: names have power. I do not think I shall grace you with one of my true names, Sabbath, no, not yet. Let’s see. The Deathless? Oh, let us not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Chief and Master, Minister and Magistrate, President and King… I have been many things.

time’s champion

and finally we have time’s champion, originally written in the '80s(?) by craig hinton, completed and published by chris mckeon in 2008. first, we have mel stumbling upon a corridor of portraits in the tardis:

Her first impression was that the Doctor was at the end of a long, thin corridor. And then she realised what the corridor was. An art gallery, the length hung with paintings, from the doorway to the far distance. As she started padding silently along the corridor, she looked at the paintings, and saw they were all portraits. Portraits painted in a variety of styles, from photo-realistic to impressionist, and everything in between. And she recognised some of the subjects. […] Moving on, Mel had hoped for something a little less depressing, but it wasn’t to be. The atmosphere had changed again: it was still cold, but a sterile light was now bathing the area. Then she realised why: the sterility, the coldness — trademarks of the Time Lords. This must be the Doctor’s own people. Pride of place was given to the Master — or rather the Masters: the familiar, music-hall villain in his velvet penguin suit had been captured in all his melodramatic glory, but there was also a suave, older man, his eyes radiating a fierce, evil intelligence wrapped in charm, next to which was positioned the portrait of a young, satanically handsome man with long, sharp sideburns and a thin, beard-length moustache, whose hand vainly clutched at a strange medallion hanging around his neck, as if clinging to the only power in his possession. And then there was an image of the cadaver, that rotting corpse that Mel knew was all that remained of the Doctor’s oldest friend and oldest enemy, animated by nothing but pure malice and spite.

the description of the ‘satanically handsome man’ is obviously the war chief. and then, the doctor remembers events from his past:

The night time vanished into the shadows of light, as new images, all familiar, threw themselves past the Doctor’s eyes: his tedious years at the Academy, his rise in the Time Lord hierarchy, his flight from Gallifrey, the early years of his exile, the planet of the War Games and his reunion with the Master, the lost years of imposed servitude to the Time Lords, all his memories and so many more impressed their way across the Doctor’s vision, even up to the moment of the present day. Then, abruptly, the vision ended. The Keeper began to speak again.

his reunion with the master occurs during the war games and precedes his exile (which is when his meeting with delgado’s master occurs). and magnus is once again used as a name for the young master:

The Doctor and Benton managed to glimpse him as he raced past. He was young, with a curving moustache and a dark, haughty face accustomed to obedience but now shadowed and twisted by fear. He ran onwards without even pausing to acknowledge their presence. He seemed desperate to outrun something. Moments later, a group of well-armed and uniformed men rounded the corridor and also hurried past the Doctor’s party, following the fleeing man in their wake. Steadying himself against the cool stone wall at his side, the Doctor watched the squad pass, recognising them as members of the Chancellery Guard, but clothed in armour and dress from the long departed era of his days in the Academy. The Doctor paused, wondering where he had seen that face before. “Magnus?” the Doctor whispered. Benton stepped over to the Doctor. “Who was that bloke those boys were chasing after, Doc? He looked a bit like the Master.” The Doctor gazed into the distance. “That he did, and for good reason.”

#the war chief #the master #doctor x master #dw #academy era

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markantonys · 2 years

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AMOL chapters 9-20

“[lan] remembered teaching that same concept [duty being heavier than a mountain] to a youth out of the two rivers. a sheepherder, innocent of the world, fearful of the fate laid out before him by the pattern.” 😭😭

update since last recap: gawene ARE officially married! “the marriage had been performed by silviana in a simple ceremony the night before.” and right now it’s morning, which must be at least the morning after the Big Meeting if not several mornings after. so they weren’t married yet in chapters 1-8 but they are now. why did it happen offscreen! why do the weddings i want to see keep happening offscreen (this + lanaeve) when we saw morgase and tallanvor’s, a wedding i could not care less about, onscreen! how could you deprive me of “clandestine wedding the night before we die in battle tomorrow” when that is my favorite wedding trope! yes we already got it with perrin and faile but i want it AGAIN!

“it still felt odd to know that egwene had authorized her own wedding. when you were the highest authority, what else could you do?” jkjfg incredible. now i’m thinking of rand and elayne legally authorizing themselves to marry each other as well as mat and avi and if anyone’s like “but you can’t marry 3 people!” they can say “well actually i’m the highest authority, so jot that down.”

“rand turned back to the maps. what he saw impressed him. elayne was preparing well.” proud husband!!

RANDLAYNE SCENE!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am going to break this down in so much detail with so many quotes that you’ll basically read the entire scene by reading this post, let’s go

it begins by rand being surprised when elayne enters the tent and elayne being surprised to find him there, which should not be possible since they’re bonded but whatever lmao for once with randlayne in this book that IS something small and harmless enough that i can happily suspend disbelief!

“now here was life. flushed cheeks, golden hair with a hint of honey and rose, eyes that burned like a bonfire. her dress of crimson showed the swell of the children she bore. light, she was beautiful.” completing the holy trinity of mat’s and aviendha’s loving descriptions of how beautiful elayne is! tragically rand is the only one who doesn’t mention her hair glowing in a conveniently placed source of light, but her eyes are glowing so half credit! he also notes later that she smells wonderful lmao

“rand al’thor, are you going to talk to me, or do you wish to ogle me further?” “if i can’t ogle you, whom can i ogle?” djfkgj i love them your honor!!! also this is so funny, “whom can i ogle if not you” rand says as if they both don’t know full well that he has 2 other girlfriends.

elayne scolds him for sneaking up on her and says “honestly, as if aviendha weren’t enough” (since avi snuck up on her a couple chapters ago) AVIRANDLAYNE THROUPLE TRUTHERS RISE!!!

both of them definitely show concern over secrecy and not wanting people to know that rand came to visit her, which is interesting, although neither mentions a specific reason for this. i assume it would be because they’re both two extremely high-profile leaders and they want to keep their personal relationship under wraps, and perhaps also because they wouldn’t want the other leaders to accuse rand of showing favoritism to elayne and things like that. which all makes perfect sense. except for the fact that bashere made elayne publicize the fact that rand is her babydaddy djfkgj so now what’s the point of sneaking around? sanderson never thinks to consider in depth other characters’ perception/public perception of rand’s various relationships (though rj started dropping off in the last couple books too, since mat and nynaeve stopped reacting to rand having multiple gfs despite being very pressed about it in LOC and WH respectively).

i’m totally onboard for them wanting to keep their relationship quiet for the above reasons, and in fact i defs think that’s the wisest course of action (even if my heart wants them to be a public power couple), but in that case sanderson should’ve a) not had elayne tell everyone rand’s her babydaddy and b) made it clear for the first 8 chapters that this was what was going on, so then their ignoring each other and needing to use third parties to find out what’s going on in the other person’s camp would’ve come off as a bona fide attempt to be discreet rather than Batshit Insanity. (and even then they should’ve had a quick scene right off the bat wherein one Traveled into the other’s tent, they reunited and talked about the babies, and then agreed to keep their distance until they could find another moment to meet in secret.)

“i am happy to see you, and i am glad you came. i’m just trying to get into my head how you fit into all of this. how we fit into all of this.” “i don’t know. i’ve never figured it out.” this seems like an allusion to the political complications their personal relationship poses, but again the idea is referred to in such a strangely vague way. we deserved books and books of rand and elayne dealing with the PR and political repercussions of their relationship! it would’ve been fascinating! instead we just get some sparse, vague, and conflicting moments.

“he knelt before her, getting a cocked eyebrow until he placed his hand on her belly - hesitantly, at first.” 😭😭🥺🥺 MY HEART

also, cracking up at elayne raising her eyebrow when rand starts to kneel, homegirl thought he was about to immediately start going down on her jkfjgh i mean hey rand DID say once that he wanted to kneel at elayne’s feet and worship her 👀 so i bet their all-day all-night sex marathon was crazy.

rand says that tam will be a grandfather 🥺 fucking introduce him to elayne then!

“he found that deep down, he’d hoped that someday he would be a father. it had happened. that gave him warmth. one thing was going right in the world, even if so many had gone wrong. children. his children. he closed his eyes, breathing in, enjoying the thought.” 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 MY HEART IS EXPLODING i take back what i said about Fratboy Rand (our new name for Zen Rand in case anybody missed that discussion in the replies on the last recap) being a deadbeat dad, he wants to be a dad he wants to know his babies!!!!

“he would never know them. he would leave them fatherless before they were even born.” NO STOP THAT [squirts him with a spraybottle]

“rand let himself go still as he felt her womb. was that motion? a kick?” okay google says that typically you can’t feel the baby move from the outside until end of second trimester or beginning of third trimester and there is NO WAY IN HELL that elayne is THAT pregnant right now! sanderson you’re killing me!! i can’t even cry over rand feeling the babies kick because i’m too distracted by the fucked up timeline of elayne’s pregnancy slash sanderson not bothering to look up timelines of pregnancy milestones jkfgj unless we are really supposed to believe that 6-7 months have passed since Randlayne Sex, but i do not buy that at all. WH was deep in winter and COT and KOD spanned very short time periods. i guess rand was in arad doman for a full month in TGS, and TOM also covered 1 month (it begins with rand telling egwene he’ll meet her at merrilor in 1 month). so at our most generous, by the end of WH 1 month has passed since Randlayne Sex (since rand WAS in far madding for some time, though i don’t actually think it was a whole month), COT-KOD is 1 month together, TGS is 1 month, and TOM is 1 month. elayne should not be more than 4 months pregnant, or 5 if we’re being EXTREMELY generous! definitely not 6 or 7!

elayne says she wants to name the boy rand. which would be weird if their dad rand was also part of her and their lives (i mean people name kids after their living and present parent irl often enough, but in books nobody does that) so i feel like she’s just already been long assuming that rand will either a) die in the last battle or b) be a deadbeat dad lmao

but rand asks her not to name either baby after him bc he wants them to live their own lives, awww. “my shadow will be long enough as it is” but they will still be stuck in it even if they aren’t literally named rand seeing as bashere made elayne tell everyone that they’re the dragon reborn’s kids!! sanderson you’re killing me again!

“he looked up to meet her eyes, and he found her smiling with fondness. she rested a smooth hand on his cheek. ‘you will be a fine father.’” 😭😭🥰🥰

god rand and elayne sitting down and talking about their babies and being soft and domestic!!!! unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i tweet about for the next week i’ve wanted this for years fuck what the fuck

“no talk of death, of duty.” “we cannot ignore what will happen.” “we needn’t dwell on it either. i taught you so much about being a monarch, rand. i seem to have forgotten one lesson. it is all right to plan for the worst possibilities, but you must not bask in them. you must not fixate on them.” and we have another Very Helpful Girlfriend Perspective that rand was deprived of until the final book when he was already mostly okay again! min clinging to hope and refusing to accept that rand might die + aviendha accepting it and assuaging him of guilt over her future pain because it’s her own choice to love him and endure that pain when it comes + elayne planning for it but not fixating on it and instead dwelling on present happiness = a perfectly balanced set of life outlooks that could’ve been immensely helpful to rand earlier in the series, but instead he got all of the first and none of the second or third.

elayne’s like “no more shoptalk i just want to have dinner with the man i love” and then they spend the entire meal talking about battle plans jfkgj they’re such workaholic nerds i love them!!!

rand is so full of praise for elayne’s battle strategy plans and tells her she has a head for it 🥰 but alas she deflects and says that it’s all the great generals’ doing, as well as bryne’s and her mother’s for teaching her. you ARE good at strategy elayne! on your own merits!

“the conversation reminded him of their time in tear, stealing hidden kisses in the stone between sessions of political training. rand had fallen in love with her during those days. real love. not the admiration of a boy falling off a wall, looking at a princess - back then, he hadn’t understood love any more than a farmboy swinging a sword understood war.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!!!! THE NOSTALGIA!!!

“their love was born of the things they shared. with elayne, he could speak of politics and the burden of rule. she understood. she truly did, better than anyone he knew. she knew what it was to make decisions that changed the lives of thousands. she understood what it was to be owned by the people of a nation.” YES!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE WHOLE SERIES!!!!!!! I’M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE!!!!!!!!!

god seriously elayne IS the one that knows him best. for so many books the narrative kept trying to insist that title fell to min, but it’s elayne, and here it acknowledges that! min and rand were always telling us that she knew him better than anyone, but we were never shown that. instead, we saw min constantly making incorrect assumptions about rand, misunderstanding him, not being aware of things that were going on with him, etc. whereas elayne, despite barely getting screentime WITH him, has throughout the series often thought or told others “rand would probably react to X in Y way” and been spot on every time, and has been able to correctly work out his motives after hearing second- or third- or fourthhand reports about an action he took. in salidar, when they agreed they shouldn’t tell rand about the viewing of 3 women loving him, elayne’s reasoning was, accurately, that it would make him try to push them away to protect them, whereas min’s reasoning was that if rand knew about the viewing he’d want to take advantage of having 3 hot women on tap. when rand went to caemlyn in WH, elayne clocked his saidin dizziness and the fact that he was avoiding channeling within SECONDS of seeing him again, whereas min, who’d been with him for weeks at that point, never noticed a thing.

i absolutely stand by the statement that the only reason elayne wasn’t narratively allowed to spend time with rand is because she would’ve been too helpful to him and interfered with his downward spiral arc.

and here again now, elayne immediately notices a small facial cue of rand’s and asks him about it, which prompts him to confide in her about how upset he is that so many people will die for him in the coming battles.

“rand found it remarkable that, though they had often been apart, their connection held. in fact, it felt even stronger. now that elayne was queen, now that they shared the children growing within her.” ❤️❤️ this line could’ve so easily felt like “author attempting to justify a relationship that’s disproportionately strong for the little screentime it got” but it doesn’t, because the individual characters have been developed so well, and the relationship in its little screentime, that i believe this 100%, it doesn’t feel forced at all or like the narrative’s trying to Tell me something it never Showed me. somehow randlayne manages to be the best canon romantic pairing despite having like 3.5 scenes together in 14 books. their power!!

“‘i feel as if i should be able to do more, now that i remember. he tried to break me, and he failed.’ ‘is that what happened that day atop dragonmount?’ he hadn’t spoken of it to anyone. he pulled his seat closer to hers.” and he proceeds to confide in her about the dragonmount epiphany! which he hasn’t spoken of to anyone else! not even min, who was demonstrably completely unaware of what had happened up there in the previous book (i forget the context but i remember commenting on how it revealed that rand hadn’t told her anything about the epiphany). because ELAYNE is the one that truly understands him best, the one he feels most comfortable confiding in about his deepest feelings and struggles!!!!

“‘and you remember lews therin now?’ she whispered. ‘everything he knew? that is not just an air you put on?’ ‘i am him. i always was. i remember it now.’ elayne breathed out, eyes widening. ‘what an advantage.’ of all the people he had told that to, only she had responded in such a way. what a wonderful woman.” LIKE!!!! 🥰🥰 when rand talked about LTT’s memories like they were his own, min thought about how she hates when he talks like that and how it makes her uncomfortable and how he seems mad, and when rand then told her outright about him being LTT etc she was weirded out at the thought that he’s Not Really The Same Person anymore. but elayne just goes “oh that rocks!” what a wonderful woman indeed!!!

“he never quite knew what she was going to say or do, and that excited him. like the excitement of watching nightflowers, knowing that what was to come would be beautiful, but never knowing the exact form that beauty would take.” ROMANCE!!! also, rand comparing elayne to fireworks, which are mat’s beloved - matrandlayne rights!!!!

rand knows that elayne has the Talent of creating ter’angreal! i’m not sure if he’s ever alluded to it before, so i’m glad to have confirmation that he knows. and he gives her a Seed which can be used to create an angreal. “when i found it, forgotten, i thought of you.” romance!!

and elayne gives rand the knife ter’angreal that hides the bearer from the shadow! finally that extremely handy knife that was ignored for several books comes back into play! let’s see if rand actually ends up using it.

“she reached up to touch his face. he placed his hand on hers. they stayed together long into the night.” ❤️❤️❤️ romance!! rand gets to Kneel And Worship long into the night, hell yeah!

overall thoughts: LOVED THIS SCENE it was finally the sort of randlayne scene that i’ve been waiting for ever since book 4! since the 1 other time they saw each other since then, the two of them pretty much didn’t have a meaningful individual interaction, it was all about the 3 women confessing their feelings to rand and then as soon as rand and elayne were left alone we cut right over to min to experience their first time through her pov, and by the time we went back to elayne pov rand had already left. but THIS scene was so wonderful, it was romantic, it was fluffy, it was serious, it was complicated, it was supportive. one scene, and it’s so clear how truly compatible they are, how easily and how deeply they GET each other. they understand each other so well yet also have different opinions about some things and aren’t afraid to disagree with each other, but when they DO disagree they resolve it through calm discussion rather than losing tempers or getting petty.

i take back everything i’ve said over the past 3 books about sanderson not getting randlayne because he totally nailed them in this scene. well maybe i don’t take back EVERYTHING because there were definitely some things in TGS, TOM, and the first 8 chapters of AMOL that i was Quite Annoyed about. i take back SOME things. but on the whole, one very happy customer over here! and i bet randlayne won’t have another dedicated scene for the rest of the series, so i’m glad that this one was so wonderful. i do kinda feel like sanderson’s just checking off boxes like “okay, rand and aviendha had their scene alone, don’t have to show them anymore, rand and elayne got their scene, that’s all done” lmao

egwene mentions that other sisters know she’s married to gawyn, which confirms what i’ve been suspecting for a while but forgot to comment on before, that the amyrlin seat not being allowed to have a romantic relationship is only a thing in the show verse and not the book verse. (it IS a thing in the show verse right? i’m not misremembering that that was one reason why moiraine and siuan had to sneak around, it wasn’t just that they have to keep secret that they’re in cahoots regarding TDR?) anyway, assuming i’m remembering correctly, this could have some exciting implications for the show version of gawene! think of the extra layer of sweet sweet angst that would cause in their TGS/TOM issues where gawyn wants a more all-encompassing relationship than egwene is able to give him (all-encompassing as in he wants to be her boyfriend all the time everywhere, not just in certain contexts).

i have JUST ABOUT HAD IT with birgitte and her condescending babysitter’s attitude towards elayne. i think it’s come to the point where i genuinely dislike her now, which is so sad because i used to absolutely adore her and her relationship with elayne.

good news: elayne and tam had an interaction! bad news: it was only battlefield commands and they showed no sign of knowing each other on a personal level

“she’d heard rand brag about his bow, and she’d seen a two rivers longbow used on occasion” oh i’ll bet she did. last night, for instance.

now that i think about it it’s hilarious that mat was The Archer of the group in eotw and then never again. at the time of reading eotw i was like “i can’t believe the show gave rand mat’s bow skills in addition to sword and channeling skills and made mat just a useless twink” but now i see why they did that because the books also took away mat’s bow skills after eotw. mat can be a useless twink for a while until he gets his knives and ashandarei, as a treat.

speaking of the useless twink, here he is fucking about in ebou dar when LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE is in the middle of fighting the last battle!!

“rand should have just hidden [in the rahad], instead of going up to fight the last battle. the trollocs and darkfriends would have come for him, and the rahad would have left them all unconscious in an alley” so mat is worried about rand??? i have to find my cauthor crumbs wherever i can since mat has denied me real moments by going to fuck about in ebou dar!

things that happened to mat in ebou dar: getting raped repeatedly and turned into a sex slave, getting attacked by a gholam, having a wall fall on him and nearly kill him, being subjugated by invaders, being trapped in the city by his abuser for weeks, watching hundreds die because he tried to free them and feeling responsible for it

mat’s constant emotional state in ebou dar: anxious, nauseous, scared, depressed, self-hating, trapped

mat now on ebou dar: “he was surprised at how familiar, even comfortable, this city felt. he had liked it here.” “he now realized that his time in ebou dar had been among the best of his life.” “strangely, this place felt more like home to him than the two rivers did.”

like. WHAT???? i mean. WHAT??????? and i scream at the top of my lungs, what’s going on!!!!!

i know that “footage not found” is my favorite thing to say about the second half of the series, but holy shit this has got to be the worst instance of it yet!!!!! i don’t even have any rants to make, i’m simply speechless.

he also reflects on tylin as “a fun game” and hopes to have plenty of other women like that, but then notes that tuon is like that and he won’t need any others since she’s enough of a handful. this poor man has been gaslit so badly into thinking an abusive partner is desirable! i’m not even mad at mat anymore, i just feel sorry for him and the miserable life he’s been forced into and convinced himself he loves.

someone thinks mat is an assassin after tuon. man i wish!!! that would’ve been so sexy

once again mat frets about assassins being after tuon and wants to find out info to stop them. dammit mat!! this is the opposite of a problem!!

“‘sheepherder,’ lan said. rand raised an eyebrow. lan saluted him, arm cross his chest, bowing his head.” 😭😭

RAND HAS FOUND FAT LITTLE MAN ANGREAL MY BELOVED!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 i literally punched the air in delight when i read this!

look at this! i’m going back to reassure my past self that it will be okay and rand will find our emotional support fat little man angreal again! rand notes that no one knows he has it and that this is important. what if fat little man angreal my beloved ends up being the key to defeating the dark one!!

walmart: choedan kal gucci: fat little man angreal

rand destroying the choedan kal and now finding fat little man angreal again symbolizes him turning his back on power for power’s sake and returning to his good boy roots. now if only he would give up tai’daishar and get back his good boy horse, jeade’en. except jeade’en might have been eaten by trollocs since he might have still been in caemlyn when they attacked and elayne said the trollocs ate all the palace horses!!!!

“i will beat you, taim! i will finally do what i should have months ago!” no SHIT you should’ve done it months ago, rand. also i mistyped taim as tim at first jkfjgh somehow “i will beat you, tim!” doesn’t have the same gravitas.

rand goes to his dreamshard, which looks like a peaceful valley, and he’s wearing simple two rivers clothing. “he placed sturdy boots on his feet, like those he’d worn growing up. they fit him in a way that no new boot, no matter how well made, ever could. he wasn’t allowed old boots any longer. if his boots showed a hint of wear, one servant or another made them vanish.” 😭😭 baby boy!! rand and mat should meet up to discuss Boots As Metaphor For Class And The Burdens Of Leadership.

rand sees lanfear and we get some nice little tidbits of LTT Backstory. he says that lanfear just wanted him as an accessory, but also he has memories of walking into parties with her on his arm and having sex with her yet he never truly loved her. Fratboy LTT! lmao

i’m wondering if lanfear is going to ever Do anything by the end of the book. if not, then a) what was the point of not killing her off for good in TFOH and b) it will make so much sense if they give her mesaana’s plot in the show, since mesaana does nothing in the first half of the series and lanfear does nothing in the second half.

egwene and the aes sedai going apeshit on trollocs was pretty cool, but overall i’m getting tired and bored of all the battle scenes. and i’m only a third into an entire book about The Last Battle lmao

elayne mentions that rand occasionally visits her in her camp in the braem wood! fuck yeah!! and a little later she mentions rand’s failure against the dreadlords! they are visiting each other and telling each other about the things that happened to them while they were apart!

“‘these tactics aren’t bad,’ tam said, reading the orders. ‘the queen has a good head for warfare.’” father-in-law stamp of approval!!! ❤️

but perrin replies “she listens well to those who know their tactics and she doesn’t interfere.” jesus christ i KNOW perrin did NOT just say that elayne, the high commander of the forces of the light, works best when she’s shutting up and sitting quietly while men do all the work. fuck you to hell and back, perrin! and alas, tam goes on to say that that’s what he meant. i agree with the overall point that a good leader is one who knows how to listen to and take advice from others, but it being centered around undermining a young woman’s competence in favor of older men’s is very yikes. i feel like elayne’s military strategy skills are being unfairly retconned away in this book, because in previous books she’s been shown to be pretty good at military strategy because bryne taught her a lot about it. or actually, in this book elayne is showing good strategy skills but other characters tell us that it’s mostly the great generals doing the work and elayne herself minimizes her own contributions when rand compliments her. sigh.

“someone needs to watch rand’s back, and it...well, it’s going to be me. i know it, somehow.” i hate this sudden narrative that perrin is rand’s best boy when for 13 books it was mat! why the fuck isn’t mat here right now? why the fuck am i not getting my 3 boy besties teaming up together at the last battle AS I WAS NARRATIVELY PROMISED SINCE BOOK FUCKING ONE????

i was saying this before on a specific post i made complaining about mat going to ebou dar, but it would’ve made soooo much more sense if mat went to merrilor with moiraine and we got our full ef5 reunion and a nice scene of the 3 boys chilling together and catching up for the first time since TSR, and then rand finds out mat’s married to the seanchan empress and the two of them go to ebou dar together to rope her into the alliance, or maybe mat goes alone first to meet up with tuon and then rand arrives later so it doesn’t look like they plotted together to ambush her. like, if mat needed to be in ebou dar to a) spend more time with tuon and b) be present to mediate the rand-tuon alliance, then sanderson could’ve just sent him there on rand’s behalf after they’ve had a chance to reunite and plan together. same goals accomplished without breaking mat’s characterization by having him voluntarily go back to the location where he was the most miserable in the entire series and claim that he always loved it there and had such great times.

perrin makes tam a lord because i guess the two rivers is now so far up nobility’s asses that they won’t accept tam taking over perrin’s authority unless he’s a lord. “steward over the two rivers in the name of his son, the dragon reborn” that’s cute though ❤️

gaul is another minor male character like talmanes that i feel the fandom is disproportionately obsessed with. people are ready to grab pitchforks at the prospect of him being cut from the show! gaul is a nice dude and i like him, but it would not affect my life in any way if he didn’t make it into the show lmao but i AM glad he’s going with perrin to the wolf dream, it’s nice to see perrin have a friend who isn’t his wife or a subordinate. and i WOULD really enjoy seeing gaul/chiad/bain adapted in the show in a way that explicitly acknowledges this is a bi love triangle rather than trying to frame it as chiad’s male love interest and ~very close female friend~ fighting over her. i absolutely love the concept of first-sisters, but only when it doesn’t feel like a blatant No Homo on rj’s part, as it does with elayne-avi and bain-chiad. amys and lian, on the other hand, i would be equally happy to see kept as platonic sister-wives as i would be to see them made each other’s wives.

perrin mentions that aviendha is with rand when he goes to find him! and he does not say that min is there 😌 although i can’t imagine where else she’d be if not barnacled to rand’s side, so maybe she is there and perrin just didn’t think it was important enough to mention.

“i only need [rand] for a moment.” “you have this moment and many, perrin. i owe you dearly.” perrin has really not done ALL that much for you, rand. his one real job was to deal with masema, which he waffled over for like 5 books before faile finally took care of it! once again i’m totally seeing that perrin is sanderson’s favorite.

rand tells perrin to watch out for mat, concerned husband!

“‘may the light shelter you, perrin aybara.’ ‘and you, rand al’thor.’ perrin hesitated, and realized what was happening. they were saying goodbye. he took rand in an embrace.” 🥺🥺🥺 okay since sanderson took over we’ve gotten a mat-perrin hug and now a rand-perrin hug, he better come through with a mat-rand hug!

perrin says that defeating slayer will be key to dealing with the black tower situation, and it turns out that slayer’s anti-gateway dome is covering the black tower. ooh taim should’ve been slayer if he wasn’t demandred! that would’ve been neat and would’ve given slayer some much-needed narrative relevance. i like that solution much better than taimandred actually, since taim and slayer are both unsexy and can therefore be merged whereas demandred is too sexy to deserve being taim.

interesting dynamic of lanfear helping perrin in TAR! i feel like she’s hovered just on the edge of being a compelling villain throughout the series, so i’m hoping the show can pull back the curtain on her some more and shed more light on her characterization and motivations. AOL flashbacks to her relationship with LTT and decision to join the shadow would be excellent!

“my suffering goes beyond what you could conceive” babygirl i’ve undergone suffering you wouldn’t even believe

perrin going “it’s so unfair that channelers can be turned to the shadow against their will!” coming in with a solid No Shit Sherlock moment jkfg he’s like “does rand know that this is possible?” boy rand has known about this since book TWO get with the program!

mat is breaking into the tarasin palace to see tuon. imagine how romantic it would be if he was breaking into the caemlyn palace to see elayne! we were robbed.

in good news, this chapter does acknowledge that mat’s time in ebou dar was Not So Great Actually and does a decent job presenting the argument that mat is lying to himself when he says that he misses it and that he liked being with tylin. there are a few lines that do this, but most notably: “he had lived in this palace, free to come and go. for the most part. he scratched at his neck, and the scarf he wore there. for a moment it felt like a ribbon that felt like a chain.” this is a really good line and i am very happy to see it, but also so very sad because it really hits home how depressing mat’s endgame fate is. more than any other character, all he ever wanted was to be free, and he ends up with a stronger chain around his neck than any other character has in the end. i just don’t see how anybody could interpret mat’s arc as anything but a tragedy. and i do think that under sanderson’s pen the narrative does commit to it being a tragedy (there are some really heartbreaking lines in this chapter showing so clearly that mat is desperate to be loved but tuon only sees him as a tool) if not fully, at least moreso than it did under rj’s, where he treated their whole courtship in COT and KOD like a fun little romcom. and i think sanderson has also committed more fully to tuon being a villain rather than rj going “yes she enslaves people but all her slaves love her uwu” but on the other hand, sanderson!tuon shows more affection for mat (as in, 0.01 ounce of affection rather than 0 ounces) than rj!tuon did, so i don’t know.

“if tuon wanted to live in a city where the head of her armies was trying to have her assassinated, that was her choice.” i agree! leave her to her fate! this whole passage, props to sanderson for nailing the classic “mat complains about how that idiot other character is asking for trouble and he’s not gonna save their ass, while actively going out of his way to save their ass despite them not asking for his help” but also it was usually rand and elayne who got that attitude from mat and tuon does not deserve it jfkg

“if rand was up north, where all the trollocs were, then mat wanted to be as far from the man as possible. he felt bad for rand, but any sane person would see that mat’s choice was the only one. the swirl of colors started to form, but mat suppressed it. [paragraph break so that these following 2 sentences stand alone in their own paragraph, which i think is important] rational. he would be very rational.” i was about to blow my lid and say that this is wildly ooc for mat and is TDR mat behavior and erases all the growth he had in terms of coming to accept rand and his own responsibilities thereto. and i still say those things, but i am not blowing my lid because the end of the excerpt and especially the “rational. he would be very rational.” does a pretty good job of conveying that mat IS lying to himself about not wanting to go help rand with the last battle and that he secretly feels guilty for not being there. or maybe i’m just so desperate to believe that mat’s character hasn’t been entirely butchered that i’m grasping at straws jkdjfg but in TGS and TOM mat WAS totally prepared to bring the dragons and the band to help rand at the last battle and also told the aes sedai to tell egwene to make sure the horn of valere was ready for him, so i can’t say that this about-face is entirely sanderson’s fault since he did show in the prior 2 books that he understood that mat was ready and willing to help at the last battle. i wouldn’t be surprised if mat fucking off to ebou dar instead of going to merrilor was in rj’s notes and sanderson had no choice but to go with it.

selucia: “if [being called Highness] bothers you, cauthon, you have a very irritating life ahead of you. there is only one way to stop being the prince of the ravens, and that is to find your neck in a cord.” another very good line. it’s played for laughs on the surface, but it also shows a narrative awareness that this fate IS really terrible for mat. and the entire chapter, which revolves around mat and tuon’s reunion which you might think the narrative would want to frame as romantic (and in some places it does), is titled “your neck in a cord” so i think that that choice of title for this chapter definitely undercuts the ~romantic moments~ and shows awareness of The Tragedy Of Mat.

we move to rand who is just returning from another visit to elayne! ❤️❤️ i’m glad sanderson is at least making it clear that they’re in regular contact and spending time together even if he doesn’t bother to show any meeting but the first. haha in the previous 2 books i was certain that he loved rand/min the most and didn’t give a shit about rand/avi or rand/elayne, but in this book, once the initial weirdness of them avoiding each other was moved past, rand/elayne has been getting the best treatment and being depicted as the most important of rand’s relationships. we’re 300 pages in and min has still barely been mentioned at all! love it.

we also learn that their visits are no longer secretive: rand is walking openly through the camp and tells us, “elayne had made her armies aware of his earlier visit. i lead these armies, she had said as they parted last time, but you are their heart. you gathered them, rand. they fight for you. please let them see you when you come.” god the power couple-ness of it all!!!! if only mat was here, just imagine the power throuple-ness of the dragon reborn, the high commander of the armies of the light, and the greatest general of the age.

rand visits tam!! this whole scene is so wonderful!! too many wonderful moments and lines to call out all of them.

rand gives tam a new sword to replace the heron-marked blade (sob. i want the heron-marked blade and jeade’en to join fat little man angreal in coming back to rand at the end of it all!) and i think this must be the mysterious sword that he acquired before TGS and was cryptic about. he’s still so cryptic about it here! “it belonged...to a kindred soul.” what’s the point of stringing me along like this sanderson just tell me where the stupid sword came from! my only theory is maybe it was LTT’s sword since later in rand’s narration is “he’d never had a chance to fight with it” and that line is in its own paragraph which feels significant. but wait no then it turns out that rand hasn’t fought with a sword since losing his hand, so that’s probably actually what that line meant. who did this fucking sword belong to and why is it worth dragging out like this!!

“this is too fine a gift, son.” “nothing is too fine for you. nothing.”❤️❤️ “think of it as a thank-you, from all the world to you.” ❤️❤️

argh rand once again calls tam by his first name to his face! but then 2 pages later he calls him “father.” sanderson what are you doing!! this is such a tiny point but it makes me so mad djkfjg definitely one of my Unimportant Wheel Of Time Hills I Have Chosen To Die On (we all have some)

“to think. if you hadn’t wanted me to be a good archer [by teaching him the flame and the void], i’d have never have learned the thing that kept me sane through the rough times.” 😭❤️

“people’s eyes tended to slide off [his missing hand], as if they were seeing a gray man. they didn’t like the idea that their dragon reborn was flawed. he never let them know how tired he felt, inside.” 😭😭

and rand and tam swordfight for a while which is some nice father-son bonding and also rand fiiiiinally reacting to and working through the loss of his hand! what a good scene! i have for the moment taken Fratboy Rand’s title away from him because he has been a good boy so far in this chapter chunk lmao

rand mentions a gray man metaphor above and then there’s a real gray man in mat’s next section, and rand had also used a moss metaphor and then mat notes the moss in the garden with the same “moss still lived” line. parallels!

“mat was pretty sure rand was to blame [for plants dying]. rand or the dark one. mat could trace every bloody problem in his life to one or the other. those flaming colors...” mat why don’t you give rand a kiss on the lips and maybe you’ll calm down

“he had married her...she had married him back” why did that make me laugh so much

i’m so mad because this description of tuon practicing wrestling or whatever fistfighting she’s doing would be so sexy if i didn’t hate her so much jfkjg show come through and make her evil in a sexy way instead of a gross way and then make her redeem herself in a sexy way! and the moment of mat throwing the knife at her but actually the gray man behind her and she instinctively turns to look behind her instead of assuming mat is trying to kill her could also have been so godtier in a proper, well done enemies-to-lovers arranged-marriage-to-real-love dynamic. but instead it’s probably just tuon knowing mat’s wrapped far too tightly around her finger like a good little slave to even think of killing her :(

min and min/rand i never would have found that compelling even if the ship had been done to the best of its potential because the ground layer of that character and ship are simply not that interesting to me, but tuon and mat/tuon............................[gazes off into the distance thinking of all we could’ve had]

i think that because it’s been so long since i last saw mat and tuon onscreen together (like, super long since i’ve been so slow about reading these last few books) i WAS able to read this first moment almost in a vacuum and appreciate the good stuff for a page until tuon opened her mouth lmao

“you must not stay away. you are important to the empire, and i have use for you.” “sounds delightful.” / “did you save her? the one you went to rescue?” “how did you know about that?” “i have decided not to be jealous. you are fortunate. the missing eye suits you. before, you were too pretty.” / “good to see you, by the way. usually, when a fellow says something like that, it’s customary to tell them that you’re happy to see them as well.” “i am the empress now. i do not wait upon others, and do not find it ‘good’ that someone has returned. their return is expected, as they serve me.” “you know how to make a fellow feel loved.” it is so clear how absolutely MISERABLE mat is going to be in this marriage. despite his protests about not wanting to get married, he does want love, he wants to be loved and appreciated as a person, but tuon only sees him as a tool and thinks of him in terms of how he can be useful to her, and yet mat desperately laps up whatever tiny little scraps of would-be affection she throws his way (like later when she says it’s good to see him and he’s like yay i’ll take that for now!). The Tragedy Of Mat!!!

“when you saw me with a dagger in hand - as if to throw at you - you didn’t call for your guards. you didn’t fear i was here to kill you. you looked over your shoulder to see what i was aiming at. that’s the most loving gesture i think a man could receive from a woman.” like this is GOOD??? i LIKED this! if only tuon wasn’t Like That then i could enjoy this moment properly! even so, this line + the actual knife throwing scene a page earlier is my favorite mat/tuon moment of the series. which is like saying “my favorite war crime in history” but yknow.

“she did not reply. light, but she seemed cold. was it all going to be different, now that she was the empress? he could not have lost her already, could he?” mat i do not know WHAT delusions you were previously operating under that you ever thought she wasn’t cold or that you “had” her lmao! she is behaving exactly the same as she always has been!

tuon now rewards his good behavior with sex just like how she rewarded his good behavior with a kiss in KOD (i think it was that book). i 100000% subscribe to @butterflydm’s theory that tuon is using slave breaking methods on mat (rewarding good behavior with treats, refusing to acknowledge his original name and instead forcing a new one on him until he begins responding to it - all things we’ve seen sul’dam do to damane). actually that’s not even a theory, it’s just a fact that that’s what she’s doing.

“i would not have said the words i did if i had found in you only a toy. a man missing an eye is no toy anyway. you have known battle; everyone who sees you now will know that. they will not mistake you for a fool, and i have no use for a toy. i shall have a prince instead.” a tiny bit of progression since she no longer views him as a toy or a fool, but she’s still seeing him as an object. only considering how he can be useful to her and how having him on her arm will affect public perception of her. she wants a nice Real Warrior to parade around and show off to everyone.

tuon when she brings a wild dangerous lion into her home and then he someday destroys it from the inside: surprised pikachu

i wish we could’ve gotten that spinoff of mat taking down the seanchan empire (if that’s what outriggers would’ve been about, which for my own sanity i must assume it would’ve been). then The Tragedy Of Mat would be a good launching point for that story, rather than an unsatisfying endgame.

“loial, son of arent, son of halan, had secretly always wanted to be hasty.” gasp! scandalous!

“it is nearly time for me to go.” “to battle?” “no, to mat. he is in ebou dar.” rand misses his man!!!

we finally learn the last thing about callandor, and it’s that it’s a sa’angreal for the true power as well as the one power! rand just suddenly knows this and doesn’t explain how - LTT memory maybe? - so i guess min’s 5 books of callandor research were completely useless lmao excellent, looks like we can officially begin and end the list of min’s plot contributions with “helping siuan escape the tower”

moiraine makes a vague allusion to mat having ancient memories that flies over rand’s head. it KILLS me that they never had a talk about their shared experience of having ancient memories!! also, wasn’t rand kind of aware that mat had ancient memories back in TFOH? or no i guess he only knew that he’d suddenly gained lots of battle strategy knowledge, but he didn’t know where it came from.

“why go to ebou dar?” because his husband is there, moiraine! he already said that!

rand is really STILL out there saying he’s gonna KILL the LITERAL DARK ONE. [1x01 moiraine intro monologue voice] the arrogance

“‘well,’ she said. ‘i am still in need of a cup of tea.’ rand looked at her, incredulous. then he laughed and walked away to bring her some.” 🥺

some dumbass tries to tell lan to talk tenobia and the other saldaean women out of joining the battle and lan claps back with: “i’ve seen saldaean woman spar. if i were to place a bet on a contest between one of them and a man from any army in the south, i’d bet on the saldaean any day...this war is everything or nothing. if i could round up each woman in the borderlands and put a sword in her hands, i would. for now, i’ll settle for not doing something stupid - like forbidding some trained and passionate soldiers from fighting.” FEMINIST KING LAN MANDRAGORAN 👑👑👑👑👑 so much love to him for being The First man in all of wheel of time to not be Weird about women going into battle!!! oh this was so satisfying.

poor mat wakes up naked in the garden with soldiers all around and tuon acts like this is normal and he’s stupid for being embarrassed. the rest of his life is going to be SO MISERABLE for him.

and finally, drumroll please.......................CAUTHOR REUNION!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay now that that’s out of the way, it was actually kind of a letdown i’m not gonna lie lmao but let’s get into it!

“rand looked older, more weathered, than the last time mat had seen him in person. of course, he had seen the man recently in those blasted visions. although mat had trained himself to stop thinking of rand to avoid those colors, he still slipped on occasion.” mat HAD TO TRAIN HIMSELF to STOP THINKING ABOUT RAND oh my god mat. and still slips on occasion! on occasion? mat, you are thinking about rand and getting pressed about the visions like once a chapter! perrin sure didn’t have to train himself to stop thinking about rand, i’ll tell you that.

“anyway, seeing rand in person was different.” seeing rand in person is DIFFERENT, you guys. mat is shook!

“it had been...light, how long had it been? the last time i saw him with my own eyes was when he sent me to salidar after elayne. that felt like an eternity ago. it had been before he had come to ebou dar, before he had seen the gholam for the first time. before tylin, before tuon.” 😭😭😭 especially with that last sentence, this reads so much like mat seeing his gay lover for the first time after tylin and tuon forced him through a conversion therapy arc to make him a proper heterosexual husband. i’m hurting!!! that interpretation of mat’s arc changed me as a person.

“rand did not seem the least bit worried; his face was calm. he wore a nice coat of red and black, a white shirt underneath, black trousers.” “rand watched the man go, nonchalant though he was bound. you know, mat thought idly, he kind of does look like a king.” mat really wants us to know how hot and fuckable Daddy Rand is right now, thank you mat.

tuon thinks that mat was just playing her last night and was actually luring rand to her. man i wish! but rand jumps in to tell her not to blame mat, protective husband <3

mat gets bound by the power. his gut assumption is that it’s rand doing it - heartbreaking - but it turns out it’s a damane, and tuon stole the medallion off him while he slept - heartbreaking. remember when rand refused to help moiraine get the medallion from mat? remember when elayne turned down the medallion when mat offered it to her in a dangerous situation because she wanted him to keep it and be safe? and meanwhile tuon steals it from him while he’s sleeping to protect herself. mat deserves better 2k22

“‘thanks a bundle for this,’ mat muttered to rand. ‘you’re such a bloody good friend.’ ‘it’s good to see you too,’ rand said, a hint of a smile on his lips. ‘here we go,’ mat said with a sigh. ‘you’ve pulled me into trouble again. you always do this.’” THEY ARE SO MARRIED this takes me back specifically to rhuidean when mat was like “well i won’t wait for you! so there! you better not think i will!” and rand was like, smiling, “of course i wouldn’t think that of you mat.” Poor Mat, His Husband Gets Him Into So Much Trouble! and fond husband rand just going “ah classic mat, i love this fool”

(also, might i add that “it’s good to see you” was tuon’s alleged big romantic line to mat just 2 chapters ago? 👀👀)

“‘you think you could stay away from me?’ rand asked, smiling.” rand knows mat is whipped for him god bless

amidst all his complaints mat slips in right away “what did you do to your hand, by the way?” concerned husband 🥺 “lost it capturing one of the forsaken.” “capturing? you’re growing soft.” proud husband who knows rand could kick any forsaken’s ass any day of the week! also good for him for unknowingly roasting rand for refusing to kill semirhage Because She’s A Woman lmao

“he glanced to the side. ‘you look nice, by the way. you’ve been taking better care of yourself lately.’ ‘so you do care,’ rand said. ‘of course i do,’ mat grumbled.” 😭😭😭 MARRIED!!!! also, mat, if i was going to tell my friend that they looked healthy and in a good state i would say that they looked “well” or they looked “good” i would not say that they looked NICE, MAT that’s gay. in what world is “you look nice” a comment on anything but somebody’s physical appearance in terms of attractiveness rather than in terms of health, mat. if i told somebody they looked nice they would immediately assume i was complimenting their attractiveness or their outfit or something, mat.

“‘i mean, you have to keep yourself alive, right? go have your little duel with the dark one and keep us all safe? it’s good to know you’re looking up to it.’ ‘that’s nice to hear,’ rand said, smiling.” mat is IN LOVE with rand and rand knows it and that’s why he spends this entire conversation smiling like a fool. mat’s like “you look nice. um i mean healthy and stuff! and i only care because you have to stay alive to fight the dark one to save everybody!” and rand’s just smiling because mat called him hot, no takebacks <3

and unfortunately that’s about the last of it as the rest of the scene is all about tuon being The Worst

mat immediately upon hearing tuon declare that she’s going to take his best friend captive and bring him back to seanchan: “mat smiled. light, but she made a good empress.” ?????????? WHAT THE HELL MAT also he always does this about not only the shittiest things she does but also the stupidest. like she’ll make some completely empty ego-based threat and he’s like “wow she’s such a good empress!” have any of her wild claims and threats ever ACTUALLY happened, mat? no they have not.

however, he does immediately follow this up with “there was no need to filch my medallion, though, he thought. they were going to have words about that. assuming he survived this. she would not really execute him would she?” tuon taking away mat’s possessions - and a possession that is extremely meaningful to him and makes him feel safe - is another one for the list of abusive partner markers that she displays. all together, this paragraph reads so much like somebody who is subconsciously aware that he’s in an abusive relationship but doesn’t quite know how to verbalize it to himself :(

“you know, mat thought, he does a fair job of sounding like a king too.” okay mat being into Empress Tuon can retroactively have half a right only because it implies that a bi panic is going on when paired with this line about rand jfkgj

rand flexes on tuon so hard and it’s SO sexy. “rand stepped forward. ‘i held the loyalty and fealty of all seventeen generals of dawn’s gate. fortuona athaem devi paendrag, my authority supersedes your own! ‘artur hawkwing-’ ‘my authority supersedes that of hawkwing! if you claim rule by the name of he who conquered, then you must bow before my prior claim. i conquered before hawkwing, though i needed no sword to do so. you are here on my land, empress, at my sufferance!’ thunder broke in the distance. mat found himself shaking.” yeah i’ll bet that mat Ruler Kink cauthon is shaking after that 🥵🥵

“i allowed you to live when i could have destroyed you in an instant” rand can you please just destroy her in an instant, christ!

mat persuades tuon that rand is trustworthy: “he’s a good fellow. he’s rough at the corners sometimes, but you can trust his word. if he’s offering you a treaty, he’ll make good on it.” “i grew up with rand. i vouch for him.”

and finally, perhaps the most romantic love declaration in all of WOT, “you can trust rand al’thor with the world itself.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

the cinematic parallels to rand defending mat to tuon back in TGS and saying he’s a good man and a loyal friend!!!!

“you called them my forces. they are our forces. you are one of us now, matrim.” “well, i guess i am at that.” stop harshing my vibe!! leave me alone i just wanna sit here and enjoy my cauthor!

speaking of harshing my vibe, UGH the deal ends up being that tuon can keep all the damane she’s already collared!!!! rand at least makes a halfhearted attempt to make her release all the ones she’s taken from the westlands before folding like a damn chair as soon as she goes “no :)” and mat just stands there and doesn’t even try. this is so fucking frustrating and it’s SO unnecessary!!!!! narratively, WHY did this need to happen? why couldn’t rand have gotten her to agree to release all the damane she’s taken from the westlands? even that is still far below what SHOULD be the endgame here - the total collapse of the seanchan empire wherein every slave in the whole empire is freed and all the lands they took in the westlands are released - so why couldn’t we have had tuon be forced to make ONE fucking concession? she almost got pulled by ta’veren sway and agreed to rand’s terms in TGS, she should be extra susceptible now that there’s two ta’veren! i’m so mad!!!! chewing rocks, as they say!!!!!

and like, you would think that the ENTIRE PURPOSE of mat’s marriage to tuon should be to help with this alliance, but he basically does NOTHING in this scene! sure he convinces tuon to trust rand, but that’s it. during the actual negotiations, he doesn’t say a peep, just sits there chewing his nails because The Girls Are Fightingggg and makes no effort to help rand get tuon to free the damane. we could’ve axed mat and tuon’s marriage entirely and it would not have been difficult to get to this same endgame result.

“‘by the way, i saved moiraine. chew on that as you try to decide which of the two of us is winning.’ mat followed tuon, and behind him rose the laughter of the dragon reborn.” a nice little note to end our cauthor scene on since i think i’ve heard it’s the last one in the whole series 😭 but also a depressing note because mat follows tuon and turns his back on rand! the metaphor of it all! The Tragedy Of Mat!

AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET MY CAUTHOR HUG GODDAMMIT!!!!!!

“‘you are right [that i need sleep], of course. and you needn’t feel surprised to hear me admit it.’ ‘i wasn’t surprised.’ ‘i can feel your emotions, gawyn.’ ‘that was from something else entirely. i remembered something sleete said a few days back, a joke i didn’t understand until now.’ he looked at her innocently. that, finally, earned a smile. a hint of one, but that was enough.” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

“asha’man fighting for the enemy. why wouldn’t the dragon reborn have done something?” god i know right jkfjgh

“outside, egwene sighed, closing her eyes. he put his arm around her and let her slump against him. the moment lasted but a few seconds before she pulled back, standing up straight and putting on the face of the amyrlin. so young, he thought, to have so much required of her.” 😭😭😭

“of course, she wasn’t much younger than al’thor himself. gawyn was pleased, and a little surprised, that thinking of the man did not provoke any anger. al’thor would fight his fight. really, what the man did was none of gawyn’s business.” look at gawyn so happy over the progress he’s made in working through the one-sided breakup with his toxic ex who never even knew they were in a relationship djfkjg good for him!

“i begin to think she assumes all seanchan to be darkfriends.” “you beat her and imprisoned her, making her into an animal to be led by a collar.” king gawyn once again being the only man in the series to take damane enslavement and its traumas seriously! 👑👑

gawyn feels wasted on the battlefield since he spends 95% of his time just standing there and not doing anything and acts shifty about the bloodrings and conceals from egwene the fact that he has them. oh no baby boy i sense your As Yet Unknown Crime approaching and i am afraid! but given how staunch i have become in loving gawyn - my original genuine love only being fueled higher by spite since everyone else hates him - his crime will have to be truly incredibly unbelievably heinous to make me dislike him hahaha even if it is i am fully prepared to dismiss it as ooc behavior and not his fault!

exhibit a: “you decided to stand in egwene’s shadow, gawyn, he thought. you decided you would protect her, do what she needed of you. she was winning this war, she and the aes sedai. would he let himself grow as jealous of her as he had been of al’thor?” on the one hand, still mad about gawyn’s sudden issues about being in people’s shadows that never existed prior to TOM being turned into the foundation of his character, and extra mad that all the character development he went through in the last book to overcome those issues - character development that was already unnecessary since those issues were invented purely for that one book - are now doubly unnecessary since he’s just regressed back again. on the other hand, thrilled by him paralleling his feelings for egwene with his feelings for rand, as if rand too was a lover whom gawyn grew jealous of over time djfkgjh

min shows up and says things for the first time (page 353) blech, but at least it’s brief. “light, what would he have done without her? i’d have fallen, he thought. during the dark months...i’d have fallen for certain.” FOOTAGE!!!! NOT!!!!! FOUND!!!!!!!!! you know what actually would’ve happened without min during the dark months, rand? a) you would never have been kidnapped and put in the box, b) you would never have lost your hand, c) you would never have been broken by having to torture and almost kill someone you loved, d) you wouldn’t have had to endure cadsuane’s bullying, e) you wouldn’t have had constant viewings worsening your paranoia and mistrust of others, f) you wouldn’t have had your personal secrets and traumas spilled to people you do not trust, g) you wouldn’t have had an allegedly supportive girlfriend frequently hitting you, threatening you, and working with others behind your back to “handle” you like you were a disobedient child. ETC!!

i say this all the goddamn time but i have to say again HOW FRUSTRATING it is that rand and min bludgeon us over the head with how min was The Only Light In The Darkness and The Only One Who Truly Knew Him and The Only One Who Helped Him Hold On, when there is literally no actual behavior or actions or events in the text to support these claims and in fact min’s presence actively made things worse for rand much of the time. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cadsuane fondly tells min that she’s been reading too much after min recites some stupid low-hanging fruit philosophy (if rand says he’s a fool, then that means he is a fool, but if he says he’s not a fool, that still means he’s a fool since it implies he doesn’t seek further wisdom) and then a page later says about elayne “then she has spoken wisdom at least once in her life. a better average than i had assumed of that one.” fuck you to hell and back along with perrin, cadsuane! elayne is far and away one of the most intelligent characters in the series and i am tired of the other characters undermining her intelligence.

but regarding that line, “rand refused to rise to that comment” and notes that cadsuane is testing him, so at least a) rand is angry to hear her speak badly of elayne and b) cadsuane is mostly just talking shit to annoy him

so far rand has gotten nice goodbye moments with elayne, aviendha, perrin, tam, lan, moiraine, cadsuane, and in a couple chapters egwene. the fact that FUCKING CADSUANE got a proper goodbye moment with rand and MAT did not!!!!!! i’m raging!!!!!!!

lan to mandarb: “we’ll rest soon, my friend. i promise. we’ll make a home. the shadow defeated, nynaeve and i will reclaim malkier. we’ll make the fields bloom again, cleanse the lakes. green pastures. no more trollocs to fight. children to ride on your back, old friend. you can spend your days in peace, eating apples and having your pick of mares.” 😭😭😭😭

“rand al’thor had begun to crack that shell, and then nynaeve’s love had ripped it apart completely. i wonder if rand ever knew, lan thought.” 😭😭😭😭

it’s just so weird that all rand’s relationships are getting such nice tributes paid to them but his relationship with mat, which was his KEY RELATIONSHIP for the first 5 books of the series, is completely brushed off. like i enjoyed their little reunion banter, but it was not nearly sufficient to be the sendoff of one of the series’ most important relationships.

speaking of sendoffs, egwene gets one with the wise ones 😭 “‘i am proud of you, girl,’ amys said. amys, tough-as-nails amys, looked teary-eyed. they rose, and egwene embraced them one a a time. ‘light shelter you, amys, melaine, bair,’ egwene said. ‘give my love to the others.’ ‘it will be done, egwene al’vere,’ bair said. ‘may you find water and shade, now and always.’” 😭😭😭

and egwene also decides not to return to TAR for the moment since it’s increasingly dangerous. “‘and farewell to you, old friend,’ she said to the air. ‘until i dream again.’ she let herself wake.” 😭😭😭

knowing what i do about egwene’s fate, this all hurt me so much!!!

egwene, gawyn, and rand have a scene alone together, perfectly timed to coincide with my third eye being opened to this forbidden polycule jkdfjgh

rand gives egwene a hair ribbon: “you always looked forward so to being able to braid your hair.” 😭😭😭😭

why didn’t mat get a nice little present from rand!!!!!!!!

“‘i just...i didn’t want to go to my fight with our last meeting having been an argument, even if it was an important one.’ ‘oh, rand,’ egwene said. she stepped forward, taking the ribbon. she embraced him.” 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ all of this late-series rand-egwene stuff is gonna hit SOOOO well in the show since their early-series relationship was strengthened so much!

rand tells gawyn that he (rand) is galad’s half-brother!! finally this is shared!!! “egwene had figured this out ages ago” why didn’t you tell gawyn or elayne then jdkfg though maybe i’ll hopefully assume rand has told elayne by now in one of their little battle camp rendezvous.

gawyn is shook and asks about elayne and rand assures him that he and elayne are not related. secretly gawyn was asking because he wanted to know if HE and rand were related and if he would have to feel awkward about his homoerotic obsession with rand djfkg

“half-brother. not that it would probably mean much to a whitecloak.” 💔💔 galad winning the worst brother of the year award once more! and at least this does explain why rand wouldn’t have sought him out to tell him that they’re brothers. “‘i think galad would surprise you,’ gawyn said softly.” is gawyn??? being nice to rand??? oh my heart!!

and we have an uncomfortable and sad scene of mat being poked and prodded at and forced into new clothes that he hates, YET AGAIN. tuon really is just tylin 2.0

“normal life had been harder for mat than for other boys.” the Queer Mat vibes of this line when taken out of context!

“for much of mat’s life, he had wished that people would not look at him so much...now he had it [since the seanchan are all lowering their eyes], and it made him sick.” 💔💔

the one bit of good news from this scene is that mat is in last battle mode and is all business and prepared to whip the seanchan into shape, so that bs of him abandoning the last battle seems to be over now. and i can see narratively why rj would’ve wanted a major protagonist entrenched in the seanchan firmly enough that he can force them to come to the last battle and be their military commander, but there were just so many better ways to execute that.

okay so a MASSIVE army of sharans, whom we’ve heard about in passing like 4 times before this moment and barely even knew existed, just Traveled into the middle of egwene’s camp COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE what in the goddamn hell???? talk about a deus ex machina! this is even worse than guybon and his massive army showing up out of the blue in KOD!

“i am the amyrlin seat, she told herself firmly. i will be strong. i will survive. so long as i live, the white tower stands. she still let gawyn hold her.” 😭😭

“if the end of the aiel was the sacrifice required for rand to win, [aviendha] would make it...better that one people should end than the world fall completely under Shadow.” okay but in the visions the world fell completely under the seanchan which is the SAME DAMN THING

we get another wonderful little avirand scene, hell yeah i wasn’t expecting to get another!!!

“she stepped up to him, and he moved so that he stood just beside her, his shoulder touching hers. he did not drape an arm around her, and she did not take his hand. he did not own her, and she did not own him. the act of his movement so that they faced the same direction meant far more to her than any other gesture could.” I HAVE BEEN STRUCK DEAD BY ROMANCE!!!! SHIT!!!!!!! I’M DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! understated romantic moments between reserved characters are my kryptonite!!!!! also, howling screaming cackling at the STARK contrast between min and her possessiveness and insecurity constantly plastering herself all over rand and trying to show everyone that she owns him LMAO

RAND CALLS AVI “SHADE OF MY HEART” 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

okay okay i’m calm! no i’m not, but i must continue on.

AVI STRAIGHT UP SAYS RAND SHOULD TAKE THE DARK ONE GAI’SHAIN JKJFKGJ THE ICON JUMPED OUT

rand used the dagger ter’angreal on his shayol ghul scouting mission and it successfully prevented the dark one from seeing him, nice! “aviendha, that you should find this and identify it when you did, that elayne should give it to me...the pattern weaves us all where we need to be.” AVIRANDLAYNE PERFECT THROUPLE PERFECT NARRATIVE COMPLEMENTS THERE IS NO NARRATIVE REASON FOR MIN TO BE PART OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

“rand smiled, then added, ‘elayne sounded sad when she gave me the dagger. i think a part of her wanted to keep it because it would let her curse by the dark one’s name without drawing his attention.’” DJFKJG he knows his wife! also, i adore this little moment of rand fondly ribbing elayne to aviendha, just as elayne fondly ribbed aviendha to rand when complaining about how they both snuck up on her. they are all married! MIN is never involved in these moments of other partners being fondly ribbed, because she refuses to acknowledge that rand HAS other partners when she’s with him.

rand tells avi that the shadow has the seals! a small thing but after so many books of rand needlessly keeping information from his own partners elayne and aviendha, i get so happy in this book when he keeps them abreast of what’s going on!

“‘we will find a way to stop this,’ aviendha said, voice firm. he looked to her and smiled. ‘always the warrior.’ ‘of course.’ what else would she be?” ❤️❤️

nynaeve’s been studying callandor, which makes no sense as she has no ability with ter’angreal, but she has nothing to do while elayne and aviendha are busy doing hot girl shit, so that task was punted off to her. nynaeve really was so wasted after WH, or really after ACOS, i feel like her breaking her block was her last truly big solo moment. why isn’t she with egwene blowing up trollocs and helping with healing? she would be so effective there!

lmao of course min was hoping and assuming that rand would take her with him into THE LITERAL DARK ONE’S PRISON WHEN HE GOES THERE TO FIGHT HIM 1V1 good god i cannot with her. aviendha at least had reasonable grounds to hope to go, as she is an extremely capable warrior with both the power and with physical weapons, but what did min think she was gonna do, recite other people’s philosophical ideas at the dark one?

but rand is sending her to egwene’s battlefront and i’m guessing they might not see each other again, in which case min did NOT get a dedicated scene with him like elayne and aviendha did, fuck yeah we love to see it!!

“tomorrow, we invade shayol ghul and claim it as our own! if we must put our head into the lion’s mouth, let us make certain that he chokes upon our flesh!” damn! i was hoping to get to halfway through the book for this recap (currently 50ish pages away from halfway), but this is just too fitting a place to end the post!

one last note for the road: i’ve got to apply this quote to The Tragedy Of Mat. he is being forced to put his head into the lion’s mouth, but someday they WILL choke upon his flesh!

#wot #wot book spoilers #this chapter chunk wasn't even 200 pages lmao how did this post get so long!#especially considering so much of those 200 pages were battle scenes i skipped over with no commentary!#i guess 40% of the post is deep dives into the randlayne and cauthor reunions djfk that's important content!

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zombee · 4 months

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THE PRINCE AND THE PIRATE AUTHOR'S NOTES

like blood under the skin, if you plan on rereading and want to figure out these lil easter eggs yourself, maybe skip these for now. otherwise, please enjoy!

· I originally called this “Blood Under the Skin 2.0.” BUtS was one of my first fics, and while I’ve published 100 now, with many WIPs in the vaults, it was my most beloved for a long time. Might still be if I’m honest. Anyway, this was hitting very similar beats, and still does obviously, but specifically wrt Stede’s character. He was way more timid in the first few chapters, way more of a genuine coward. But then I figured out he was a dom and that was the Leslie Knope switch from season 1 to 2 – he’s a brat/bitch from the beginning, not just internally but externally. That set him apart from BUtS Stede and really cracked the whole fic. I had to do extensive rewrites of his character in the first few chapters – another reason I’m a finish before I post it truther!!!

· I had Stede’s ship name in [brackets] for SO LONG, but then I figured out the Hydra twist (I had already had the Hercules play in place), and I went ohohoho! And went back in and put in a LOT of Hercules references. Stede’s title was originally “…grand duke of Montrose” not Nirea (named after a character in The Adventure Zone podcast), but Nirea is a reference to Nireus, one of Hercules’s male lovers. So is Iolus, Stede’s fake name at the costume contest. I don’t remember all the other references because I don’t know the myth that well, but like “Herah” being the capital city of Low is an obvious one. And River (the pirate captain who Ed has to kill) is a reference to Achelous, and so on. And generally, of course, Hercules is the half-blood son of a king. Oh and Tebai (honeymoon port) is Thebes.

· SPEAKING OF WHICH, i came up with the name “The Prince and the Pirate” before I cracked Ed’s backstory. I also considered that a working title – it sounded like a romance novel. But I didn’t want Ed and Ned to be exes, and then I was like… oh FUCK. because Ed and Stede are BOTH the prince and BOTH the pirate.

· The original antagonist was Prince Ricky, because we didn’t have s2e7 when I started writing. But the beats were the same – he was a monster that Stede didn’t want to marry even in the face of thinking Blackbeard would also be monstrous. But then I saw that episode and was like OH FUCK. HE IS P E R F E C T. “King Ned” sounds stupid, so that’s why he’s referred to as “the King of Low” a lot lmao

· When I realized Ned’s real name was Edward I was so pissed. I considered changing it, since who cares, but then I figured Ned/Ed’s dad just George Forman’d them and that was EXTREMELY funny to me. And it led to the “My Edward” bit so!!! Positive, I reckon. I had plans for other bastards all named nicknames of Ed but didn’t end up working it in.

· I did not really plan to bring Atella back (I’m very much a pantser not a plotter) but I had to c’mon

· Stede’s whole Thing with his title being the most valuable thing about him is the crux on which him not admitting he loves Ed is based on. Nigel was the biggest part of it, but if you notice I also mention “his [number] to last ever friend” a few times – they all pretended to be friends with him and got fed up and left him. Ed is who he considers his “last ever friend,” btw.

· Also… it’s just fun. It’s fanfic. I despaired like, is it TOO fucking stupid they’re not just saying it! And then I was like. No. It’s fun. Just have fun.

· Ed’s reason is that he knew about Stede’s trauma and was afraid if he said it Stede would run. Which he did lol. There’s a lot of their development I don’t show on the page and that’s because Stede doesn’t even realize it’s developing. He kind of does, but not to the extent it’s happening. I put in little (or not so little) hints throughout. One of my favorites is you find out when Ed is playing the fiddle there were nights when they danced together Stede you sweet oblivious idiot.

· Stede has cherries embroidered onto his suit in that first scene because he’s a virgin

· The reputation of his virginity will be forfeit, regardless that he’s certain from his studies that Blackbeard does not run a ship where rape is permissible, or indeed that that kind of assault is common on the Sister Seas at all – it’s not common because Ed more or less put a stop to it

· The hickeys are ENTIRELY adhdduck’s doing, everyone say thank you duck. They also commented in the doc “I’LL GIVE THESE PIRATES A THOUSAND HICKEYS BEFORE I DIE!” and I think about that a lot.

· “My people would suffer all the same. Rumors, by their nature, do not care for fact.” Stede places his hands on the edge of the desk and leans forward. “And that is why it matters if I appear willing. To make Ned look like a fool.”

He knows at once from the way Blackbeard’s face goes sharp and shrewd that these are the words he needed. If he is going to succeed at this gambit, this will be how.” - so, the original words in here were “sharp and hungry,” because the motivation in my head was literally just Ed wanting to fuck with Ned. Buuuut, then I cracked the plot of Calypso, and I thought Ed knowing Stede could be a part of the plan was a better excuse for him not to admit he loves him.

· "That's your only stipulation to this arrangement?" – Ed says this in chapter 1 and then Stede says this in the 17th chapter, right before he kills Ned >:^}

· SO I originally had Ed giving Stede a ring in the engagement scene. But I just forgot to include it throughout the next chapters, and then I was annoyed at the thought of rewrites, so I changed it to the thumb-kiss thing. WHICH IS NOW ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Stede, btw, only does it once—in the last line of the fic.

· “Oh dear. There goes Stede’s cock again.” Def a lowkey Rick and Morty reference lol

· “but his leg pops up of its own accord anyway.” Thank you everyone who called out the Princess Diaries reference

· There is a small motif of “interesting” (when Stede clocks something about Ed that adjusts his perspective on him) and “for now” which is just Stede being a brat

· “There are no maimings, but otherwise the wedding is a complete success.” – there are “several maimings” at their wedding in the last chapter!

· Ugh the stupid wedding suit. It was important enough to the plot I knew I had to describe it, and I had to find a color that wouldn’t look good on Ed or Ned. I used actual internet websites to find one. Do I think Ed would actually look bad, no, but yknow. Supposedly gold is not a great color for him.

· “Then perhaps she can…stay?” Stede asks, trying not to sound like he’s begging. Based on the pattern of his life so far, he knows the answer. But still, he wants to try. “Can she stay on the ship with me?” – again this is me explaining that Stede has serious trauma about things in his life staying that are Good. Canonically we know once Stede figures it out he is fully confident Ed loves him back, so I had to figure out a reason that Stede wouldn’t in this universe.

· As SOON as Stede finds out Ed’s real name, he starts thinking of him as Ed in his head.

· “No matter. Whatever it is that Ed wants, that is what Stede shall do.” – in their first sex scene, there is emphasis on “What Ed wants right now is to do what Stede wants.” Lil baby boy cracked it :’)

· Gosh I love the stupid “Prince’s Wedding Night” throughline lol. And thanks for calling me out on twitter that “laddybuck” is definitely a Tamora Pierce reference.

· Stede sighs and crouches next to Ed. "Shall I help you undress?"

Ed sneers. "What, are you willing to?" – a reference to the first hickey scene where Stede says he’d “be willing” in whatever way Ed wanted aka sex. And that fucks Ed up for a LONG time because he thinks Stede would only fuck him because of their arrangement~

· We all knew Ed did actually see Stede jacking it on their wedding night, right?

· “Stede frowns and looks down at himself. It is true he is wearing Ed's clothes, and there is no mirror in Ed's cabin, so he must look disheveled.” (ch 2), “He has to imagine Ed took the lovely gilded mirror from his old cabin and brought it aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge. Perhaps if he behaves Ed will let him keep it.” (ch 4), “He buttons up his waist coat, admiring himself in the gilded mirror that has taken the place of the awful battle painting.” (ch 5)

· In BUtS, I skirt around the idea of assault/rape – like, obviously it’s there, but I don’t say it out loud. I kind of consider tpatp adult while buts is young adult in that way (I mean, except for the porn). Buts was my love letter to the YA fantasy I read as a kid in general.

· “"Raped to death?" Ed says, incredulous and offended. "What kind of a monster do you think I am, your highness?"

"Not that kind, to be sure." – dummies why don’t you LISTEN TO WHAT THE OTHER IS ACTUALLY SAYING

· “He had not known kissing could be so soft.” (ch 2) and then I bring it back in ch 8 with “He had not known fucking could be so soft.”

· “"What kind of books do you like?"

"Oh, all kinds! My favorites are stories of adventure and magic."

"Like what?"

"Sethera and Fairyfoot and Estril’s Mermaid Tales." – S&F is a reference to another medieval AU I wrote, I Hate It When You Stare. (shhh it’s a reference on purpose not because I didn’t want to come up with something else)

· I almooooost tagged this enemies to lovers. I decided against it in the end for the same reason I don’t tag things a lot of the time – if you come looking for that content specifically, you might be disappointed. But know in my heart it counts.

· ““Oh, yeah, we’re taking everything but the food and water. They should be bringing in your stuff now, actually.” Ed’s eyes go stern. “I’ll be looking through it all before I let you keep it. Make sure there’s nothing you can use to escape.”

“Ah. All of my things…?"

“Yep.”

Stede winces, thinking of his intimate toys. Oh well. The worst case scenario is that Ed will mock him. Best case, they can enjoy them together. – SCHROEDINGER’S BUTT PLUG

· “I accepted your conditions because I want to make fucking Ned fucking mad,” he snaps. “I’m not going to fuck you, okay? You can stop these stupid fucking games. You’re safe.” - Ed thinks Stede is doing stuff like jacking off where he can see because he is trying to “honor” his side of this deal and coax Ed into fucking him. He thinks he’s real obvious about how in love with Stede he is as well, that’s a part of it.

· “This is just a fuckery.” Ed’s voice is ice cold. “You’re going to earn your keep on my ship by participating in it, but I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want you. Got it?”

Stede finds that he is crying. (ch 3)

“Good,” Ned murmurs. “You’re learning.” He leans in and leers into Stede’s ear. “This is just a contract. We both know what our duty is. I don’t want to have to hurt you. Got it?”

Stede finds that he is crying. (ch15) - do you get it because they’re brothers and ultimately similar and in both instances they’re lying wait wait don’t leave—

· “Is he really so undesirable? Anyone seems plain next to Ed, but Stede thinks he has rather nice broad shoulders and a fetching pair of legs. With the right clothing and a good pair of shoes, His Royal Highness Grand Duke of Nirea Prince Stede of Bonnet is adequate.” – he also feels a little ugly in their first sex scene, but being wanted by Ed makes him blossom and by the end he’s like “yeah bitch I’m hot af”

· In ch2 Stede wonders if he’ll ever be hugged again. In ch3 Ed hugs him.

· “Slow,” Ed murmurs. “Slow.” - bring this back twice! Rule of 3s, baby. Once in Tebai (honeymoon port), when Stede is teasing Ed, once in the final chapter when Ed is doing the same.

· I have been a “Stede hates mornings” truther forever and while I don’t need canon to validate my silly AUs, I do like to be when it happens

· “There we are,” Stede says. Indeed, Ed looks magnificent, and Stede is too tired to be self-conscious when he says, “you look fantastic like this.”

Ed’s eyes go dark. He licks his lips. “Yeah?” – hallelujah, a praise kink is born

· “Yes.” He remembers Ed’s words from the night previous. “Like everyone knows you’re mine.”

Ed jerks backward, spins on his heel, prowls away from Stede. "It's fucking time, your highness. Get out of fucking bed." – Ned used to call Ed his. I don’t have full details, but I don’t think I’ll ever do an Ed pov for this? So something like, “you’re mine” and “my monster,” probably.

· I have been saying “drat” and “vexed” in my real life a lot since writing this

· “He kisses Ed warmly on the lips. Ed goes rigid, and fuck him for it, but it’s not like he can chastise Stede in front of those they are attempting to deceive.” – of course, Ed is not going rigid (snrk) because he’s mad, but because he’s shocked Stede would initiate a kiss.

· God bless season 2 of the hit television series our flag means death for healing my relationship with canon izzy because he is SO FUN to write (ftr I liked izzy for about a month before the shitty parts of the izzy fandom ruined him for me)

· “He thinks bitterly Ed must have chosen this on purpose, for dramatic effect.” – nope he was waiting until the last minute possible to let you sleep, you big goof

· “might be his last kiss” because he’s traumatized baby boyyy. BUT I make it up to him with the “best kiss yet” bit in the honeymoon chapters.

· Stede becomes a skilled seamstress throughout the fic. I put that in before we got the bts that he sewed up the couch in the captains’ cabin!

· Ed does try to play nice in these chapters but because of the miscommunication Stede is a bitch back and Ed is like “GOD DAMMIT”

· I had the proto-Calypso bits in before I cracked the plot. Thanks season 2!!!

· I like the “Ed doesn’t laugh he giggles” bit a lot because he’s a SILLY BOY

· Part of the reason Ed doesn’t allow Stede to go ashore (besides that he’s worried for his safety) is that he’s afraid Stede will run

· “Scratch the back of my neck,” Stede says, knowing it will look pink and puffed to any key witnesses. Ed obliges. “Harder.”

Ed rakes his fingernails down Stede’s skin and digs them into the knot above his spine.

“Yes. Good.”

Ed lets out a soft whine as they squirm together for a moment – this isn’t the first hint Stede is dommy but it is the first time he like, combines it with Ed’s praise kink. Hence the “soft whine.”

· I drop the tobacco + leather motif (mostly because of laziness) but also because Ed is dropping his blackbeard mask around Stede more and more as the fic goes on

· “Ed sits at the desk and pores over his maps as Stede chatters at him between wolfing down bread and fish about the book he is reading.

“And then he tilts at a windmill, Ed!” – don quixote reference. Not really alluding to anything it’s just an old story.

· “That’s because Bonnet only uses geldings. I bet you’d do well with a stallion.” – besides being funny (nice and subtle, Edward), this is a hint that Ed knows more about the machinations of court than you would maybe expect. Like, why would a commoner from Low know that about Bonnet? Why would he even be tilting in the first place?

· “Stede takes the dagger carefully and inspects it. It is fine work, castle steel, undecorated except for a snake etched into the hilt.” – I wanted to do more with this but the muse didn’t take me. However I kept it in because “castle steel” is another hint Ed is more than he seems.

· “And may we keep the chair, my darling? I have some… ideas for it.” – shroedinger’s sex chair

· God I fucking love the party scene lol. No real notes I just love it. THEY’RE! IN! LOVE!!!

· “the raids do get a bit boring, after a while… there seems to be quite a lot of them these days.” HMMM I WONDER WHY ED WOULD DO THIS NOT FOR KISSES SURELY!!!

· Shit like, “He has even given Stede a small cabin to use as a library.” And then later when Stede has a necklace Ed gave him, again my little hints that like fuckity duh stede he’s in love with you

· i. love. Their. First. Sex. Scene. I love it SO much. Definitely a bit of Ed pov is “Lord mother. He had married a sex god, and they weren’t ever going to fuck again (probably?)”

· was working through a lot of episode 6-7 feelings with this one lol

· Ed gasps and tries to pull away again. Before he can get far, Stede grips him harder on the back of his neck and says, “stay.” – STEDE WANTS SOMETHING TO STAY!!! HE SAID IT OUT LOUD!!!!!!

· “A quiet, traitorous part of his mind says: he is frightened and you want him much more than you are equipped to give him comfort otherwise.” – idk why I do this so often but this is a flip of (part of) what I imagine Ed was thinking in e6

· No matter that this might not be the right choice indefinitely, in this moment, this is what they both desire. – again… working through a lot of e7 feelings lmao

· They both call each other Ed/Stede throughout this whole scene instead of “your highness/Blackbeard” (except at the very end when they both think it’s never going to happen again). Ed calls Stede Stede sometimes, always deliberately on my part, and Stede kind of does the same, but not when he thinks Ed can hear.

· Idkkkkk it’s just been so fun to play with the power dynamics here. Like, stede wants Ed to be rough and kind of out of control, but he also loves being the one controlling that narrative, and just. The layers are fun for me. No way I could have written something so complex two years ago.

· Stede is suddenly very aware of the aches in his body. “Ow."

Ed tenses. “Shit, I—”

“No no,” Stede laughs. “It is a good kind of ow.”

Stede pulls back to smile at his husband, who is looking magnificently fucked.

…But also quite cagey. – I swear to fucking god if Stede had said anything but “ow” they might have worked it out right then.

· He’s “stealing” kisses in this one, afraid he’ll lose everything now… stede my beloved.

· “There is so much warmth and wonderfulness that happened tonight, including and perhaps especially this very moment. Stede will do his best to remember that, in the days to come.” Maybe working out some general season 2 feelings WHO KNOWS!!!! Not for myself but for those who were so disappointed with izzy’s death they couldn’t keep enjoying the show. I’ve been there. It sucks. But when I look back, there was a lot more good than bad and I’m grateful. – same as “No matter what comes after, the during was wonderful.”

· It’s been hard to take (direct) apologies out of Ed’s character since s2 but I have done it. He does apologize in this story – when he apologizes for not telling Stede sooner that he loves him 😊

· "If you make me say it again, I shall lie to make you feel bad." – then I flip this in the honeymoon chapters when Ed says a similar thing.

· “Can you really blame me for thinking you’d want to escape?”

“I can, actually.” – I bring back “I can, actually” twice more as well! I loooove to do that, where partners start to parrot each other’s speech patterns.

· The Queen Anne’s Revenge is my kingdom and you are my king.” – because he’s royalty too do you get it wait doN’T LEAVE—

· THE NIGHTGOWN STINKING IS SO FUNNY TO ME LMFAO. Stede dear god. It’s been months.

· I tried not to actually name any direct Greek mythology references (like, I never say Hercule’s/Heracles’s name--) but I realized I did use “Adonis” in one scene just let me have this

· I love the bit of them inventing new stories every time someone asks them how they got together SO MUCH. They’re both so dramatic and love to play off each other eeee

· I have Ed use “my love” because that is how Ned speaks. That’s a canon reference. God I watched ned’s scenes so many times for this fic lmao. He has a more stilted way of talking than canon to parallel Stede’s voice as that’s kind of my nudge nudge at how royalty are brought up. Ed rarely slips into it but he does sometimes.

· Ed pushes him against the wall as soon as they are somewhere enough in the shadows and kisses him again. “Tell me what you wa—”

“This, Ed. Just this.”

Ed looks very intensely at him. “Just this?”

“Exactly this.” – gahhh another bit of misunderstanding. Ed morosely thinks “okay, Stede just wants to fuck. that’s fine, I’ll take that.” I call it back in ch 11 when Ed and Stede are fighting after Stede got hurt.

· How many times can you spot Ed almost saying “I love you” because there is a lot >:^}

· A lot of Stede’s “nothing stays” stuff is shit I learned from meditating. And it is SUPER useful, it is! But sometimes it’s okay to want things and Stede learns this lesson throughout the fic.

· The boys are in their 20s for this fic that’s why they can come so much and so fast lol

· Since the very first fic I wrote in this fandom, Stede being okay with and/or turned on by Ed’s violent parts of himself is really, really important to me. So happy I got to include some of it here!

· “It wasn’t the almost dying,” Ed says. “It was the almost dying without having had…” Ed darts his eyes away and then makes a LOT of eye contact. “You.” – kind of a canon bathtub/dock scene reference.

· “You are not a monster for wanting to fuck your willing husband.” – again this type of shit is important to me – I don’t want to spell out that Stede has figured this shit out about Ed. Show don’t tell, yknow?

· Fun facts people (as in, Europeans, since we’re the gross ones) were more clean than you’d think in the middle ages. Public baths were def a thing.

· “Don’t do that. At least not until we’re old and gray.” – STEDE PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM HE’S ALREADY PLANNING YOUR FUTURE DECADES FROM NOW

· Even though Ed has been eating Stede out for an hour, Stede sends him down to get water and doesn’t actually give him the promised facial massage. Because he is a bitch. He would have if he was in his right mind, but, yknow. Rimmies!!!

· “sublimation” “sodium” “aliens” lots of others – I love the David Jenkins School of Historical Accuracy (FUN FACT DID YOU KNOW I INVENTED THAT PHRASE!!! I am pretty sure. I have receipts from April 2022. I at least popularized it.)

· Ed says “there’s my favorite prince” and in the next chapter Stede says “there’s my favorite pirate.” I told you in the tags the references are heavy-handed lol

· “Flay the skin off your fingers until you beg him to cut them off—” I am a game of thrones hater unrepentedly and forever but I did used to fuck with the books hard and this is of course a Ramsay Bolton reference.

· “We’ll be here another week yet. We are going home.”

Ed’s hand squeezes in his in such a way Stede is uncertain if he meant to do it.

“Home?” Ed echoes.

“Yes. Home. Come along, husband.” – ed’s never felt like he has a real home before IF YOU EVEN CARE

· Thiiiis is the chapter some of yall figured out Ed was Ned’s brother and I’m DELIGHTED because these were the most obvious hints!!!

· “Oh! Lord above” might be the funniest thing in all of season 2 and THIS IS WHERE THE ENTIRE RELIGION IN THIS FIC COMES FROM lollll. Again I had a lot of brackets like [equivalent to jesus fucking christ]” and this solved it. Thank u Frenchie.

· Stede goes numb and hears as if from underwater himself say the words back. Ed puts him down and kisses him again. This one is, regrettably, all Ed and no Blackbeard, and Stede is struggling a bit not to cry. Ed says quietly into the ear not facing the audience, “It's funny because we're already married.” – again this is leading to Ed’s belief that he should not say it to Stede because he’ll spook him. He was about to before Frenchieus Interruptus but now this is another step back.

· No real notes on the kidnapping scene I just think it’s funny

· Wait I lied - “No face!” Tacky barks, stopping Stinky short from kicking Stede’s teeth in.

“We’ll just say it was Blackbeard did it.”

“He’ll blab! Look at him! He’s a sniveling little tattletale, aren’t you, your highness?” – because Ned’s general orders to people about how to capture Stede. The implication here being like “you can rough him up, just not so that the public will know you did”

· Ed playing the violin is for one, a canon reference to his piano-playing (I like to put that in fics when I can) and also Ned’s real backstory of his brother being a savant and him being insanely jealous

· You just have to let me be Blackbeard.”

· “It’s not complicated! What are you afraid of, Dread Pirate Blackbeard? That I will stop loving you if you go too far?”

“You are Blackbeard,” Stede says, beleaguered. “You could stop hating yourself and start fucking me instead, you know.” – ed baby boy accept all parts of yourself it’s okay we still love you <3

With all the venom he possesses, Ed spits, “fuck you.” – LISTEN! TO! THE! WORDS! YOUR! HUSBAND! IS! SAYING!!!! Ed thinks stede is mocking him here but yknow

· I am also subtly trying to tell you that Stede is beginning to believe more and more that Ed really does love him and I think ch12 is the most heavy-handed before I just say it outright.

· For all of you who called me out on my Steven Universe in this chapter, bless u

· “A prince among sex fairies."

“I don’t love that,” Stede grumbles. “Can I be a fairy queen?”

“Prince, princess, king, and queen,” Ed says easily. He yawns. “You’re everything to me.” – gender non conforming Stede my beloved. Also a recurring bit that stede is like “can we PLEASE forget about the prince thing, jesus”

· “Oh, do you mean like that one time you asked me to call you—” Kitty Cat. He asked him to call him Kitty Cat.

· If you thought River was supposed to be referencing a glam rocker aesthetic you would be 100% correct!

· Now, Stede thinks, heart swollen. Now is the time to tell him. Just say the words. You will still have until Calypso at least. Be brave.

“Thank you.” Drat. Try again. “I…”

“Hm?”

“Forgot what I was going to say.” – callback to Ed saying the same thing where he was also going to say I love you

· Ed proposing and Stede saying “Quite brilliant. I accept.” Is a rule of 3s – the last time of course it’s reversed!

· “Sirede contingent” is a reference to adhdduck’s AMAZING SIREN!STEDE FIC PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT!!!

· “What utter hogwash. The sea is both, and Stede loves every part of it.” Very unsubtle reference to Ed lol

· The pirates at Eryma that are Stede’s heroes are all my early readers thanks guys <3

· I’m in a group chat where we discussed the absolute chaos of a Frenchie/Archie team up, hence them being on Stede’s wedding planning team

· Since as you know now it ends as brat4brat, see if you can spot the places Ed is playing that role. The public alley bj is a big one, but it’s been throughout.

· I think if you squint a young Bronson Pinchot looks like Ed. If you squint.

· Because word all over Eryma is that he’s led around by his little cock by you – because Stede encouraged this kind of chatter, whoopsy! (also it’s… correct lol)

· “His eyes are—wrong, they make Stede feel uneasy—but he supposes with all the horrors Ned gets up to, that makes sense. – because they look like Ed’s

· “I only punish someone I love if they misbehave.”

Stede says, anguished and unable to stop himself, “Ed—”

Ned laughs. “No, Ed stopped caring after too long. Which was a nuisance, by the way. Until I found something different to try.” - Ed’s praise kink does come from his past, but I put this in to let yall know he was still like, fuck THAT to Ned even as a young kid. He wasn’t just accepting his fate until his mom saw him torture someone.

· Ned’s mouth and fingernails being black and his breath being bad is a hint that he’s poison-trained. Kind of inspired by president snow in the hunger games.

· I am still, as of writing this, the only person in the Vincent tag for OFMD. Justice for Vincent.

· Stede explaining wabi sabi to Maggie and Vincent my beloved

· Stede at first is confident Ed is coming for him, but then his confidence flags throughout the next two chapters.

· When it doesn’t have to racism and sexism etc don’t exist in my universes. I’m still informed by the real world, of course, but rest assured none of the Ed/Ned childhood stuff has to do with that. The “people confusing Ed for being the real prince” stuff that was a part of my calculations.

· People got verrrry close to knowing the hydra/suit twist but no one quite got it right (who commented, anyway)

· If the Ned/Stede wedding stuff feels like Tamora Pierce at all it’s because I’ve read her books dozens of times over the last 20+ years

· I had to change “he tastes like black licorice” to “rotting black licorice” because some of my early readers were like “but black licorice is good tho” (they’re wrong but I didn’t want to distract from the point)

· Also you should be getting Princess Bride vibes from their wedding 😊

· Ned is sitting on the throne. Gray, and bedraggled, but unmistakably alive. His elbow is on one armrest with the side of his forehead propped on his fist. His legs are crossed and one foot bounces. His eyes are bloodshot around their black pupils, slicing into Stede like castle steel.

The kingsguard marches Stede forward and dumps him onto his knees at Ned’s feet. Ned hooks the toe of his boot under Stede’s chin and pulls it up until they are looking at each other. – this is a shera and the princesses of power reference and unfortunately I think it’s a little bit kind of sexy

· One of them has on chipped black nail polish and Stede feels dizzy with anguish. – that is, in fact, Ed!!!

· “I love you,” Stede says urgently. “I love you, I love you–”

“I know,” Ed says gently, voice thick. “I know that. We have to go.” – he did, btw. He figured it out the night of the bondage scene :’)

· Atella my beloved. No notes I just love her.

· Stone parchment dagger = rock paper scissors. Izzy and Lucius were both wanting to slap Stede to wake him up but Zheng wins without them even knowing she’s playing.

· God once again so happy to enjoy izzy again I had so much fun with him this chapter

· DENTAL PLAN! MAGGIE NEEDS BRACES! DENTAL PLAN!

· Stede kicks the guard in the ribs because he knows how much that fuckin hurts

· Who did Olu propose to? Maybe Zheng. Maybe Jim. Maybe all three 😊 you decide.

· Oh I forgot to mention but Stede being so anal about water is trauma from when he was a captive to Nigel

· I loooove a good bookend cathartic sex scene. BUtS has one, as does Mink Ed POV, and also ski boys. Brat4brat 4ever

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! No particular plans for my next longfic.

(that is a lie. It’ll be another medieval au. It just might not be a longfic)

16 notes · View notes

aemiron-main · 1 year

Text

Posts Made After Seeing The First Shadow

(click here for the TFS section of the google doc)

(click here to go to a tumblr post with the posts I made BEFORE seeing the first shadow)

I Am Henry Creel vs You’re Not Henry: Changing Rooms, Fringe, Henward, TFS, Walls, and Convincing Edward That He’s Henry (x)

The Gay Ones: Henry Creel Is So Gay, How Did Any Of You Guys Come Out Of TFS Thinking That He’s Straight? (x)

TFS and The Edward Timeline: We Definitely Saw Edward Timeline Events During TFS (x)

“Gay Henry Truthers Are Erasing An Interracial Relationship During The 50s”: No We Aren’t, The Struggles Of An Interracial Relationship Are Still Very Much Present Even With Gay Henry & You’re Actually The Ones That Are Erasing Key Aspects Of Both Henry and Patty (x)

Silly, Terrible Play: Henry Ripping Off Virginia’s Dress and TFS Henry Breaking The The Fourth Wall (x)

The Hawkins High Backdrop in TFS: Why Is Almost Every Place Hawkins High? (x)

I’m Not A (Violent) Dog, I Don’t Know Why I Bite: Henry Creel Vs Cujo (x)

The Town That Didn’t Exist: Rachel, Nevada (ft. The Creel Murders, and Will’s Birthday) (x)

TFS, Rachel Nevada, and The X Files’ Dreamland Episode (x)

Elvis Cloned By Aliens: Was Anyone Gonna Tell Me That Elvis Had A Twin? ft. Kissing Cousins and TFS (And Henward Are So Absolutely Real) (x)

TFS and Chuck E’s In Love: All Roads Truly Do Lead To Edward (x)

TFS and Tommy: The Ball Gag (x)

Timeline’s Wrong (I Mean, Off) (x)

Henry’s Blood Transfusions and Universal Donors (x)

Democreatures Smelling Blood, Blood Transfusions, and Dimension X: Was Brenner Trying To Make The Lab Kids Immune To Dimension X Via Blood Transfusions? (x)

Why Was Brenner Touching The Soteria Spot On His Own Neck During TFS? (x)

Two Slick Cats: TFS and Henward vs the Everly Brothers (x)

Why Did They Gag Henry? (x)

Stupid Girl: Brenner and Henry vs Byler (x)

Henry’s Shadow Voice vs Brenner’s Angry Voice (x)

Who’s Henry vs You’re Not Henry vs You’re Not Him: Why Is Brenner Henry? (x)

Something No One Could Understand Except For Me, Henry: What’s Up With All Of The “Brenner Is Henry” Vibes (x)

Did Brenner Shock Henry During The Spyglass Lab Scene? (x)

Henry In The Nevada Caves, Bob’s JVC vs The Creel Camera and The Descent on the S4 Board (x)

Where is Henry’s Scar? (x)

You Have To Be Your Father: Did Brenner Jr Become Brenner Sr? (ft William Brenner) (x)

From Captain Midnight: TFS and the Captain Midnight Broadcast Intrusion (x)

This is Your Dream: Was TFS Patty’s Dream? At Least Partially? Did Patty Go Missing At Age 12? Are Her And Henry Hooked Up To NINA Together? (x)

But It Wouldn’t Be Make Believe If You Believe In Me: It’s Only A Paper Moon, TFS, and Things Not Being Real (x)

Henry Looking Up During The Creel Murders in TFS vs Edward (x)

TFS Orderly Henry VS the Weird Henward During NINA: Are They The Same Guy? (x)

My Sweet Boy vs I’m Not Your Boy: What Is Up With The Brenner-Virginia Parallels in TFS? And What’s Up With The TFS Brenner-vs In-Show Victor Resemblance? (ft The Girl (Boy) He Stole) (x)

Following Us: TFS vs It Follows (x)

I Lost It: Henry Lost His Innocence In That Cave (x)

Did Henry Push Scott Off Of A Quarry In Nevada? (x)

Be Not Afraid: Henry’s Weird Shadow Bone Snapping Seems To Triggered By Fear (x)

TFS and The Rabbit: We Still Don’t See Henry Kill It (x)

Stardust Spider, Sensory Suits, and Alan Munson’s Silver Spandex Suit (x)

Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Is Patty Real? (x)

The Stolen Girl: Was Patty Stolen By HNL? (x)

It’s Not About Him, It’s About Dad: How Patty’s Puppy Love For Henry Ties To Her Issues With Mr Newby (x)

Walking After Midnight: Virginia Creel Continues To Be Weird With Henry (x)

Henward, TFS, Rabies, and Patty’s Bat Wings (x)

You’ll Come Crawling Back vs Crawling Backwards: What’s With The Crawling In TFS and ST? (x)

Crawling Backwards, A Thump On The Head, and The Cave (x)

Jesus: They Keep Paralleling Virginia and Patty Re: Henry (x)

Was Martin Brenner A Boy Scout? (x)

I Love You: Gay Henry, Puppy Love Creelby, and Virginia-Patty Parallels (x)

You Don’t Know Him: Hentty and Edward (x)

TFS, Twins, and a Henward Concept (x)

The Man Behind The Curtain: The Wizard Of Oz and TFS (x)

Patty and Henry Being Compared To Romeo and Juliet (x)

MR ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO THE THEATRE REALM: I Could Not Pretend- Did Henry Send Edward To Do The Play In His Place? (x)

A Canon Event: Brenner, The Creel Murders, and TFS (x)

You Don’t Age and You Don’t Shave: TFS Brenner’s Hair and Scruff Are Weird (x)

The Hurt Means You’re Out Of The Cave: Jim’s Letter vs TFS (x)

Alan Munson Vs 7 Year Old Henry & The TFS Hair Styling Choices (x)

Henry’s Scooter Vs Will’s Bike (x)

The TFS Newspapers About The Creel Murders (Edward Creel is So Real) (x)

TFS, ST, Yuri vs Murray and Characters Pretending To Be Other Characters (x)

Hentty, Mileven, Kisses and The Fleshflayer (x)

Henry Creel is Presumed Dead- Right? The TFS Creel Murders Are So Damn Weird, And Henry Broke The Fourth Wall AGAIN (x)

Anything Is Possible: TFS Creelarke Crumbs and a Patty-Scott Parallel (x)

Say It: Even More Hentty Familial Parallels (x)

The Project Rainbow Poster vs Will Getting Flayed: Why is Will Connected To Brenner Sr AGAIN? (x)

What Are You, Henry Creel? Detect Thoughts and Reading Minds and Doppelgangers and TFS: Is TFS "Henry" A Doppelganger? (x)

Well, Now Where Do We Go? Nowhere! vs The Girl From Nowhere (x)

The Source: How Did Brenner Convince The US Gov Not To Kill Henry/Let Him Keep Henry in TFS? (x)

Does The Hawkins Library Appear In TFS? (x)

Hickman Hill vs Hick With A Buck Knife: More Clone and Edward Stuff in TFS (x)

I Hope They Throw Away The Key: Parallel Between TFS and The Wall (x)

Who is Who? What is What? Doctor Martin Brenner and Henry Creel: What Does The Man Want? Why is Brenner Henry? Get That Man Out of The Boy's Head! (x)

Making Kids Kill Cats: Digging Into Brenner vs the Shadow (x)

#stranger things #the first shadow #st: the first shadow #pinned post section #pinned post section: the first shadow

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 2 years

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(same anon) personally, I think ppl who ship i/modna are

a) deluding themselves bc you've already SEEN what c/r does. how has it not taught you anything? how are you still hoping that by some miracle they'll do smth different this time? I have to pity you your naivete. you're going to get burned again there's no two ways abt it

b) also should NOT face such utter backlash like. you know from the getgo that this was an attempt at an b/j apology ship. you just know it. I'm sorry to these so called Pseudo-intellectual Meta-Writers but if something as simple as pattern recognition as this doesn't get through to you, then I fear you aren't as Nuanced™ as u think you are lmao.

also, it's very funny that b/j fans who now go to i/modna are going to get harassed by the b/y crowd. like, I find the entire deal w c/r incredibly exhausting. but it's somehow very funny to me to see how threatened the b/y crowd still feels by b/j. when all we've done is literally nothing lmao we left. and YET you guys are still thinking about us. Still intent on making us the villians lol. Its hilarious house fear works on a subconscious level where you have to dehumanize us by making shit up abt us to feel validated in hating us. (remember the extremely harmful false info they spread abt b/j fans being trsnsphobic when literally a) all b/j fans I know are trans b) we are all so in on the trans b/j agenda like I remembered my friend & I being they/them beau truther and trans jester makes So much sense in a commentary about embracing femme it makes me heart sing. its so vile to say such absolutely untrue shit about us when we are literally all trans people having a good time w our trans b/j headcanons. imagine calling *us* t/erfs with nothing to back you on that gross misinformation.)

its very funny to me that b/y fans had to resort to calling *us* names when literally the actors marisha and ashley are the ones who equate lesbianism w pussy™ and constantly joke about genitalia. the sheer obsession w grossly sexualizing lesbians at every turn and pretending it's the height of romance. eugh.

no wonder something as organic and developing and emotionally competent (unlike the emotionally constipated b/y) threatens them. they couldn't BE beaujes. that's what bugs them to this day I think. why being canon still doesn't satiate their upset. because being "canon" doesn't erase that most of their speculation and fan-theories abt b/y is just that. all in their head.

anyway, enough of me talking down to b/y. the hangup they have from b/j shows on i/modna bc they didn't get to harass b/j fans enough. they gotta take it above and beyond to c3 to feel validated in the leftover anger they still have at b/j.

I have nothing to really add to your ask, anon, because you’ve pretty much said it all. But I do want to address the ‘a)’ at the top of your ask.

I made my own rant post about this very thing: seeing a bunch of BJ’s gleefully running back to CR because of Im/odna, and being frustrated and confused by it. Wondering why they would willingly go back to a thing that hurt them. And I said stuff about me not seeing any solid evidence that they’d take it to a romantic place and that there’s a higher probability that they’re just fucking around. That they’ll essentially ‘gal pal’ it.

The thing about that stance though? I don’t want to be proven right. I don’t want to continue being right about terrible shit. I WANT to be proven wrong. I want CR to be better now than it was in C2. I want the cast to be more respectful towards their audience and not end up going “Ha ha! Psyche! We didn’t really mean it!”

I actually DO want this all to work out for the better. And for two reasons 1) because I want the BJ’s who are all-in for Im/odna to have something good to look forward to for once. Something to celebrate. And 2) I want them to be able to say to all of the bitter BY bitches, “We told you so. Everything we speculated was correct. We were right, you were wrong. Eat shit!” I want them to have something to rub in the faces of all the pricks who are actively rooting for Im/odna to fail.

Even with me. I will GLADLY eat shit too for doubting. If Marisha and Laura go full throttle to Romance Town, those same BJ’s are more than welcome to flood my inbox with unabashed gloating. And I will be thrilled.

I would gloat right along with them. Everyone in the Beaujester fandom (whether you ship Im/odna or not), is still dealing with all that shitty baggage from C2. And I think we ALL deserve a chance to gloat. We’ve been fucked around with and stomped on far too much. We should get something good.

However, if I am proven wrong, that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna suddenly fall in love with CR again. I’m not gonna give CR props, I’m not gonna watch C3, I’m not gonna buy merch, I’m not gonna start praising the cast and fawning over everything they say and do. I’m not gonna praise Marisha and Laura for finally committing to something. THAT would a bridge too far. If CR does something good for once, great. But I’m not gonna feel good for them. I’m gonna feel good for the people they did right by.

#op #ask

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extasiswings · 2 years

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scream you dont need to reply to this but i cant message bc we aren't mutuals but i just wanted to say thank you for your hot takes abt the *** article-- i didnt read it bc i know it would just piss me off more BUT seeing the ripples through the fandom (right before a new episode we are excited for nonetheless) had me back in to see what people were saying and yeah, it's just nice to come here and see you calling it like it is :)

You’re welcome! I’m just—*sigh*

The thing is, I knew this was going to be a shitshow. That’s why I preemptively started making posts about it days ago as soon as we heard an article would be forthcoming. And I was prepared to roll my eyes and be frustrated and annoyed at the inevitable pessimistic doomsday despairing. What I wasn’t anticipating was the level of upset from my fellow queer folks, not about the implication (because we’re all still Buddie canon truthers) but because of the rhetoric. And I get it, I do, because it’s incredibly hurtful to have your lived experiences dismissed out of hand, to have someone reiterate the same sort of thing that many of us have had people say or assume about our own identities and relationships and feelings—that our experiences are invalid, that we’re confused, that we don’t actually know what we want or what we’re seeing—the sort of will-they-won’t-they “it’s all just platonic and you’re reading into it” lines that get bandied about so readily for non-canon het couples come with a certain amount of baggage when placed in the context of non-canon queer couples. Because it inadvertently steps into a very particular strain of queer pain. And straight people just…do not get that. The fact that it isn’t intentional doesn’t make it hurt less, but they don’t, and I do think it’s worth acknowledging that. And I also think it’s worth acknowledging that as much as we as fans don’t have a blueprint for this situation (a slow burn non-canon queer ship going canon), neither do the showrunners.

That said, I also do think it is incredibly important for everyone to be aware of the myriad issues involved in this piece. It was written by someone who has a very well-known agenda of trying to claim the show is terrible about queer rep (blatantly false) and queerbaiting (also not true) and is extremely aggressive, combative, and unprofessional in interviews while trying to make that point. We don’t know the questions he asked, or how many questions he asked, or how he went about asking them. We don’t know if the quotes that were published were part of a longer response, and we don’t even know if they were the first response—it is entirely possible that initial answers were more polite/vague/cagey and he pushed and pushed and pushed until he got a soundbite that he could use to paint them in the worst light possible (and when someone is baiting you by asking the same thing over and over and you can’t get specific, yeah, you’re going to get frustrated and say things you don’t mean—and maybe we don’t know for a fact that’s what happened here, but based on prior experience, particularly re the tone and questions of the post-finale interview where he explicitly accused Tim of queerbaiting, it seems likely). So basically…all that to say, I think everyone’s feelings are valid, but I also think it’s worth directing the anger and hurt to the right places—to the person who manipulated the situation specifically for this result for clout and to serve a personal agenda. That’s my two cents.

(Also, as a reminder, this wasn’t the piece they signed up for either—it was just supposed to be a standard PR piece for 5x11 and he asked extra questions because there was time. It wasn’t the focus of the interview and wasn’t necessarily something they were prepared to discuss)

#chapel talks #oatmilkbuck

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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 years

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I'm just curious, once Eddie accepts himself as queer, how do you think his path should go? Does he immediately go for Buck? Or should he explore his sexuality with someone else first before endgame with Buck? Sorry if someone has already asked you this.

Hey Nonnie!

I don’t think anyone has asked me this before so don’t be sorry and I do have many thoughts - although I had written a really long answer to this ask and then tumblr decided that t didn’t want me to put it out into the world and deleted it when I clicked post so I can’t promise my second attempt will be as good!!

I am very much in the ‘its Buck or nothing’ camp when it comes to Eddie! Because for me, A big part of Eddie being in a place to unrepressed himself is because of Buck. I’m also a Demi Eddie truther and the show has taken pains to show us that Eddie is not really about sex but about emotional intimacy. The only person we’ve seen Eddie sleep with has been Shannon - his wife and even that was a part of showing how the relationship was unfulfilling for him because it lacked emotional intimacy, that the physical intimacy was easier for him because she was someone he had shared emotional intimacy with in the past, but that it was no longer there (and that it was forged under Eddie trying to be what he isn’t and live up to familial and societal expectations which meant the connection could never truly flourish).

Then there’s the fact that we never saw Eddie doing either with Ana - in fact they never shared more than a few cheek kisses and even those were initiated by Ana and not Eddie 99% of the time. The physical aspects and displays of affection we did see were nearly all coming from Ana - the show took great care to show us just how much Eddie was not in that relationship - because it lacked the emotional connection that Eddie needed (a connection he’s already found elsewhere). Eddie jumped into that relationship because he was still in the mindset of doing what society and his family expected of him and Ana was an easy choice because he already had a tentative connection with her - she was a woman and he liked her enough that he felt he could keep playing the game he’d been playing all his life!

For me part of the reason that Eddie is now in a place to accept and deal with his trauma is because of Buck - because Buck is safe and Buck has Eddies Back no matter what - as we’ve been seeing play out. Eddie has been sweeping his trauma under the carpet and pretending it doesn’t exist because he’s never been ‘safe’, because for Eddie if he deals with all the trauma he’s built up it means dealing with the big first trauma - the repression of who he is - the true Eddie that he’s been hiding all his life because that true Eddie - it doesn’t fit with what his family expect from him and what the society he grew up in expects from him so he put it away in a box and forced himself into a different box, but has never felt comfortable, but also never been in a position where he has the support to open that first box and deal with everything that will come pouring out. because its like pandoras box - once opened you can’t shove everything back in and closet again so for Eddie to be able to do that needed to be in a place that is safe for him - Shannon wasn’t and could never be that because although he Loved Shannon she did not come from the same mould as Athena and so Eddie could never trust her and let her fully in - he was protecting himself and rightfully so.

But now the trauma pile has kept growing and it can no longer be contained - thing is - its not because the box isn’t big enough, its because Buck has been there slowly proving that he has Eddies Back and that he will stand by him no matter what, that he is a safe space for Eddie and while he’s been doing that he’s also been dismantling all the defences Eddie had been building to protect that first box so that when Eddie got to where he is now, although it would be scary and feel overwhelming, because those defences and barriers had been dismantled, replaced with Bucks presence and support, the journey to recovery and exploration would be smoother - there is nothing standing in his way! Eddie has got himself to a place to deal with this one big first trauma which in the long run will mean that all the other traumas are easier to deal with because they are all interconnected.

I am also of the opinion that Eddie knows that he is in love with Buck - whether he yet knows just how truly deep that romantic love is - that’s a different question and I personally don’t think he does - yet. But he is currently learning and I really don’t think Eddie is going to pursue something with someone else. All I’ve said above applies here, but also because I think, for Eddie, he will be okay with being in love with Buck and it going no further than that because I really do feel that Eddie would rather be alone but happy and safe with who he is then pursue something with someone else that is never going to live up to his feelings for Buck. I think he is becoming increasingly aware that Buck is his soulmate, and his endgame and I don’t think Eddie will feel the need, nor feel comfortable to explore his sexuality if it isn’t with Buck. It is Buck who has stood at his side and had his back has given Eddie the strength to fight to be who he truly is - to be able to start living a life free from adhering to societal and familial constraints. I don’t think Eddie will want to compromise that feeling of freedom by chasing something that isn’t going to fulfil him. And fact of the matter is - he doesn’t need to - he’s build this family unit with Buck and they’ve put the hard work into it already - all that will change in their relationship is that they’ll get to kiss, sleep in the same bed and have sex - everything else - they’re already there, its why things with Ana could never work even if Eddie had truly wanted them to and its why Buck is a ghost in his relationship with Taylor - he’s already built his family and is getting everything he wants and has been searching for - he’s just not fully cottoned on yet but that is in part because Buck is a follower. He isn’t yet on the same page as Eddie, but he will get there - Eddie needs to do his unrepressing first because the repression Eddie has put himself through all his life is much more complicated and more difficult to untangle because of the life Eddie has led in comparison on with Bucks. Eddies journey needs to happen first because it is the most difficult - Buck is going to have a much easier time accepting himself and his love for Eddie because he’s always been more open with his sexuality and we know what it is he’s always been looking for but has never found and so I think once the door is opened, he’s going to find it very easy to step through and embrace the fact that he’s found and can have what he’s been searching for.

I wrote something much better that this the first time around so I’m a bit annoyed that this isn’t as coherent! but its an epic love story about finding yourself, accepting who you are, allowing yourself to be happy and living the life you want without reference to what others, want and expect from you (with the exception of the person you are in the relationship with) And honestly its a joy to be watching it play out on my screen and getting to sharer the journey with everyone on here!

#kym answers things #nonnie asks #its an epic love story #911 on fox #911 spoilers #911 fox #911onfox #911 #eddie diaz #buck #evan buckley #eddie #buddie #911 speculation #911 discourse #eddies sexuality arc is everything #still annoyed that my original post got deleted!#this is rambly and I dont know if it makes any sense #ho hum

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curioussubjects · 4 years

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come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version. For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one.

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s.

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though).

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn #spn meta #this thing is gargantuan yikes #anyway enjoy? let's chat #my writing #this thing is half meta half my adhd unleashed

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megslovesbooks · 2 years

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Ok. Some spoiler filled thoughts now that I have(n’t) slept.

Below the cut because it got long. I apparently have a lot of thoughts. Haha! Better to post them here than to talk to my coworkers for 8 hours today about a show they don't watch. >.>

That first rescue was heckin icky, it’s been a while since they’ve grossed me out like that.

I’m so interested in this shift with Hen. I know it must have been easier with you Eddie because they were already friends, but it feels like maybe she’s reached the end of her ‘I just have to stick it out and then things will go back to normal’ rope and honest, legit. Hen and Bobby have been the most together of the group lately and that starts to wear eventually.

I actually really like Greenway, I think he could bring some good conflicts, and so far I like him as a person.

Oh Eddie. Ooof. I have known for months that you were going to break my heart but I guess we’re just going for it full tilt here. This montage is so good, the deterioration of his cheerful exterior is so painful. And I love how direct the show is being about the fact that he’s not ok. Everyone can see it, he’s out of places to hide.

Kitchen 2.0 huh? Oh boy.

This truck rescue! Y’all! It’s so good, it looks great, the action is on point. This show is at its best when it’s using these big beautiful action sequences to also further character plots and I thought this was a stellar example. It’s a fantastic intro for Lucy (we’ll come back to her), it sets up what I’m assuming will be Buck’s core struggle this season in a very short amount of time, and it was just fun. It’s too 10 rescues for me I think.

Josh. WTF bro???? Yikes. I've always been a little torn about Josh, sometimes I'm really rooting for him, and Maddie likes him so much so that's important, but also... I was re-watching the beginning of season 2 a few weeks ago and was struck by how kind of terrible he is to Maddie on her first day??? Like, is that how you treat all new dispatchers? I also didn't love how he handled the Claudette/May stuff, he didn't even try to hear what May was saying and basically told her she was making it up so...that's terrible. I don't know. I'm finding it harder and harder to like him, and the way he handled this thing with Eddie was NOT GOOD. Like, I get the baseline of what he was trying to say, there are protocols for a reason and maybe there was information that Eddie didn't have that could have put someone at risk, but Josh's reaction was so territorial, like jesus dude, back it up. I wish it had been Sue who had come to talk to Eddie, because she's so much better at speaking hard truth with honesty and understanding. But I suppose she'd also probably have a better idea of how not ok Eddie is, because she's really good at reading people, and the point of this scene was to isolate him even further. Still. Ugh.

Lucy. Listen. I kind of love her. Do I think she’s going to be an agent of chaos, 1000%. Am I wild about the very poor choices Buck is about to make, no. But she’s a strong character, she’s cocky and a little bit defensive and has the potential to have a lot of depth. I think maybe she’ll succeed where what they were trying to do with Lena failed (I also love Lena, I just think they were trying to execute something with her character that maybe didn’t quite work). I am honestly looking forward to Lucy way more now than I thought. I’m also an Arsonist Lucy truther now. I think she’s absolutely got that in her. Lol!

The bar scene. God the bar scene. There is A LOT happening here, all at once, and I love that. We’ll start with Eddie. He’s really upping his isolation game, which in itself is probably enough of a clue that he absolutely should not be back in the field yet. I’m going to be think about his downward slid in this episode all week. Ouch. Love getting more group fire fam scenes, though it is painfully obvious that there are gaps. They’re all just trying so hard to be normal and it’s not working. Which takes us too...

Buck and Lucy. Ok. I totally understand that this is super dicy territory, and I just want to say that these are my thoughts but I in no way want to say this is the only way to see things, or even that I'm right. This absolutely has the potential to become a really slippery slope, both for the characters and for the show, I think how they choose to handle this story line could either be really well done or really upsetting (on a 'what are you doing to this character' sort of level) For me. From what we've seen, I'm not mad at the show for what's happening here. I don't think it's out of line for Buck's character and I don't know Lucy well enough yet to really know, but she seems like she likes what she likes and she goes after it. I do kind of wish we'd seen Buck tell her he has a girlfriend and gotten her reaction, I think that might have cleared some things up for me, but until we see how the next steps are going to play out I don't want to make my mind up about her character. (except for the the fact that i fully believe she could burn a building down. lol) Do I enjoy watching Buck make some truly terrible choices in this episode? No. Do I understand where they might be coming from? I think so. I dunno, we'll see where it goes I guess, but for the moment I'm willing to trust the show and go along for the ride.

Drunk Buck and Hen. My MOST BELOVEDS.

Eddie and Chris. EDDIE AND CHRIS. They are hands down my favorite dynamic on this entire show and my god did the show not disappoint. I'm just heartbroken over them, not just in this scene, which was so rough, but also because there's not way we get out of this thing without both of them having a very bad time indeed and I hate hate hate that for them. What a beautiful beautiful scene. Chris is growing up so much, he's so smart, and I'm hoping this scene indicates that we're going to get more of his thoughts and feelings on things in the back half of this season. One of my favorite things about 5a is that after the big reveal about Chris's worry at Christmas, you can go back and see the little steps that got him there. But I'd love more open conversation with him in 5b and it sounds like we're going to get it. And oh oh Eddie. The acting across the board in this episode was stellar, but this scene (and the final scene with him and Bobby, we'll get back to that) really stood out to me. I thought Ryan was just achingly good in this scene with Chris. Oh man. This is gonna be so rough y'all.

Oh Buck. What are you doing son? I do want to see him and Taylor break it off this season, I don't think they're good for each other, but oooooof bud. This is not the way to go. When this goes sideways its going to be so ugly. I'm not looking forward to that.

For me, without doubt, the best scene of the episode was this Bobby/Eddie. It's incredibly painful to watch, and just so well done. Everything about it, the writing, the performances, the lighting the MAKE UP (god Eddie looks about three seconds away from throwing up all over Bobby and Athena's floor) I said this in some tags last night and I'll probably talk about it more because I'm obsessed with it, but the thing that kills me the most in this scene is how totally blindsided Bobby must be by Eddie's turn at the end. Bobby and Eddie have always understood each other so well. Eddie shows more vulnerability to Bobby than anyone (at this point I think even Buck, for while Buck knows Eddie inside and out, Eddie-as far as we know-has only ever cried in front of Bobby. That's HUGE for him). Eddie looks up to Bobby, Bobby understands Eddie in a way I'm not sure anyone else does. They trust each other. So to have Eddie, who is not only usually so in control, but who is also the last person in the world to use people's failings against them, who we have never EVER seen speak with such intent to wound before, say THAT to Bobby. I was shocked. Its so terrible, not only because it must have hurt Bobby, which is something Eddie in a better place would never want to do, but also because it shows just how bad things are for Eddie. Like we knew they were bad. But this? Devastating.

Honestly I loved this episode. I thought it was a fantastic start to the back half of the season and I have hight hopes that all the threads left dangling from 5a are going to lead us somewhere extraordinary in 5b. Truly I feel like this could be the best work the show has ever done. We'll see I guess.

Have your own thoughts? Come yell at me about them! I'm going to be thinking of nothing else for days. Haha!

#911 on fox #911 spoliers #911 5b #megs talks i guess #just a lot of feelings under here #don't mind me #i have no one here to talk to about this stuff so you get it ALL #lol

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pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 4 years

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Antimatter | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 2486

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR 13X15, general Criminal Minds things (mentions of violence, shootings, robberies, death, etc)

This is part of my Galaxy Universe (MASTERLIST). You don’t need to read anything prior to this to understand this fic, though it may help!

You thought your little found family had finally found some reprieve after a long year of difficulties. Spencer was reinstated, Mr. Scratch was dead, Matt Simmons joined the team, and everything seemed like it was returning to your normal crime fighting routine.

As it turns out, you were wrong.

You didn’t think twice about following Spencer out of the round table room. You were loyal to your team, and Assistant Director Linda Barnes was not going to snuff the mojo out of these people that you loved so much.

You caught up to Spencer in the bullpen, where he was shoving books into his bag. He didn’t look up when you slid onto his desk.

You waited a minute before speaking, “what’s our plan?”

“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” you were quick to follow him to the elevator.

“We need to come up with a plan before you leave, Spence,” you knew what he had just done was risky but it was the right move and you stood by your decision to follow him. You also knew that the problem wasn’t going to be solved without some other course of action, however.

“I can’t go back there. I’m not working with her scrutinizing our every move.”

“So don’t. Stay here and figure out how we’re going to get her out of our hair. Emily might know something that we don’t, she just had a bunch of meetings with Barnes, right?” You didn’t like how tense this conversation was becoming. You were currently on the same page as Spencer, that much you knew, but he could read 20,000 words per minute and it was going to take a lot for you to keep up with the pace his brain was working.

“Emily’s suspended,” you could tell he was thinking hard about what steps to take next.

“Go to her place and let her know what’s happening. Distancing yourself from Barnes is the best move before you get yourself fired.”

“What about you?” The elevator dinged to signal it’s arrival. Spencer stepped inside, holding the doors open.

“I’m going to go with the team. We need boots on the ground to figure out exactly what her plan in action looks like. I’ll be a centralized point for info about how she’s targeting everyone and get you it as quickly as I can.”

“Good luck,” he gave you a sad excuse for a smile.

“Go get Emily, I’ll be ok.” You watched the doors close, then walked back towards the round table room. You straightened your posture before opening the door and positioning yourself next to JJ. The rest of the team gave you some very strange looks that you tried to ignore.

“Will you be joining us, Agent (y/l/n)?” Barnes asked, almost as if she expected you to say no.

“I will, thanks,” you showed no weakness, making direct eye contact with her. She didn’t push further, instead confirming JJ’s ‘Wheel’s Up’ and leaving the room.

You spent the entire trip to St. Louis avoiding questions from the rest of the team about what had happened when you and Spencer left the briefing.

In a moment of quiet on the jet, JJ approached you while you were getting coffee.

“Were you able to talk to Spence before he left?” She asked in a hushed whisper, back to the rest of the plane.

“Yeah,” you said slowly, eyes flickering to where Barnes was staring the two of you down, “I’ll tell you about it later, it’s best that you don’t know for now. Trust us on this?”

JJ nodded, “let me know what you need, I’ll make sure it happens.”

You arrived in St. Louis and watched as Barnes demeaned the local PD, undermined the procedural profiling, and intentionally paired herself off with each member on your team. It was only a matter of time before she got to you.

You had been purposely avoiding her, instead collecting tidbits of information from your coworkers about their conversations with her that were unrelated to the case at hand. You intentionally stayed behind to work victimology when she finally cornered you in the conference room.

“You’re loyal to a fault, Agent (y/l/n),” she wasted no time addressing you.

“Excuse me?” You chose to not look up from the crime scene photos.

“Following Agent Reid out of the office this morning was a bold choice,” she tried to assert herself into your space, something you weren’t about to allow.

“I don’t see how my loyalty is a fault. I could see that Doctor Reid was unwell and I wanted to make sure he was ok.”

“You were suspended while he was in prison last year, were you not?” Clearly she had done her homework, although you didn’t like the way she twisted the situation inaccurately.

“I was on medical leave from field work, I still assisted remotely from Quantico and retained all other privileges.”

“Caused by Agent Reid’s arrest?”

“Caused by pre-existing mental health conditions that I’ve been treating since before I joined the BAU. My leave was temporary to help get it under control after the stress of Doctor Reid’s false arrest.”

She was quiet for a minute as you shuffled to the next file. You hoped that she would start asking about the case before you lost your temper, your secret mission would be compromised if you couldn’t keep your head down about it. Her next statement didn’t surprise you, though it came from left field.

“You do know that interpersonal relationships within a Unit are against Bureau policy.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re implying,” you put down the file to finally square up to Barnes. She had seen your file, you knew that much, but you were now doubting how much she had actually read into it.

“Are you and Agent Reid romantically involved?”

“Doctor Reid is my best friend. Last time I checked there was nothing in Bureau policy that didn’t allow that. I don’t appreciate you speculating about my personal relationships when they’re clearly not relevant to this case.”

Questioning your loyalty to the team was one thing, but attacking the most pure thing in your life was going too far.

“What is relevant to this case then, Agent? Your skills must be more useful elsewhere than sitting in a conference room looking at photos. Perhaps a transfer to a tactical unit would be more beneficial to the Bureau?” She finally pushed in a direction you were expecting.

“I would think that the Bureau would be more interested in well rounded agents instead of one trick ponies. I’m building my skillset here, rather than getting stuck in a rut doing tactical work.” It wasn’t completely the truth, just last year you had talked with Spencer about the possibility of you transferring to the Hostage Rescue Team. A tactical position would make sense, considering your strengths, but you had found such an unlikely home at the BAU that leaving was out of the question.

“You’ve been building your skills here for almost a decade. Why do you think Agent Prentiss was promoted to Unit Chief over you?”

“She was the right choice. She has seniority, as well as a more rounded viewpoint from her other assignments. I trust Emily Prentiss wholeheartedly.”

Just like Matt had predicted, Barnes was trying to pit you against your team, “what about Agent Jareau? You’ve been a profiler longer than she has, do you know why I promoted her above you?”

It was her mistake, honestly. Of all the people who she could try to turn against the BAU, you weren’t a good choice. Instead of falling into her trap, you doubled down, “she’s been with the team longer than I have. Knowing how the team works is just as important as knowing how to profile if you want to do this job right. I fully support JJ as Unit Chief, but that’s not why you picked her, is it?”

“It is not.” You waited for her to elaborate, but instead she left the conference room to talk to Matt. As soon as she left your phone was at your ear calling Spencer.

“She had the nerve to ask me if I was romantically involved with you,” you hissed as soon as he answered. You heard Emily laugh on the other end of the line.

“What’s happening with the rest of the team?” Spencer spoke up.

“She’s trying to push us all out, but keeps denying it. We’re closing in on this case, but she’s stepping on our toes all over the place. She wants to make this a quick close but honestly she’s only making it harder for us to profile this guy. How’s it going on your end?”

There was a pause, which you assumed was caused by Spencer taking you off of speaker and stepping out of the room.

“She’s trying to leave. She said someone had to take the fall for what happened with the Truthers-“

“You’re not letting her, right? Nobody needs to take the fall for what happened, where did she get that idea?”

“Barnes, I guess. I’ll keep working here, keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Ok, good luck.”

Doing what you were doing proved harder than you thought. Barnes stepped completely out of line during the validation strategy, getting the unsub killed when Tara and Luke were completely capable of talking him down. You were fuming but knew you needed to keep your head down as to not blow your cover with Spencer, so instead you tacked yourself to Luke’s side with the knowledge that he would tell you if you were about to do something stupid.

It was the right call, because JJ tore into Barnes on the jet and you knew you didn’t have the authority to add on to it. It felt like a small victory, until Barnes met you all in the office right before you were about to head over to O’Keefe’s.

“Agents Prentiss, your suspension is lifted. You will be reassigned within the Bureau, your new post has yet to be determined. Agent Lewis, you will also be reassigned. Agent (y/l/n), you are being reassigned to lead a SWAT team in the city, congratulations on the promotion. Agent Reid, you will be a full time professor with our exchange program. Agent Rossi, the FBI deeply appreciates your service and the Director wishes you nothing but the best in your retirement. Agent Simmons, Agent Alvez, you will remain here at the BAU. Garcia, your loyalty to the team is appreciated but it feels like a fresh start in a different department would be best.”

She made it seem like your reassignment was a good thing, but that was far from the truth.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer answered his door faster than you thought he would, eyes narrowing behind his glasses when he saw your disheveled state a few weeks later.

“I’m losing it. I’m going to get my whole team killed. I can’t keep doing this,” you spilled before you were even able to step into Spencer’s apartment.

“Here,” Spencer led you to his couch and pressed a hot cup of tea into your hands, “take a deep breath, you’re here with me. Did you just get off of a case?”

“Yeah, a bank robbery downtown. We locked it down but the whole time I was thinking about how it could have gone wrong.”

Spencer didn’t say anything, instead letting you sip tea and breathe for a minute.

“When Barnes reassigned me I thought her goal was to give me a promotion so I wouldn’t want to come back to the BAU.”

“It was, she knows you’re an incredible agent. Any unit is lucky to have you.”

“What if it was to break me though? She’s read my file, she knows my episodes have been more frequent since you were arrested in Mexico. Did you hear about the school shooting that happened last week?”

Spencer nodded.

“I was there, Spence. I was there. And the whole time I was leading the team through the hallways getting kids out I kept thinking about Jack, and Henry, Michael, and Hank. How they could be in that school, how there were already kids in that school that I hadn’t saved. I couldn’t save them.

“When I first started out at the Academy my peers all told me I would head up SWAT one day. I thought it was what I wanted until I joined the BAU. You even said I’d do well on a tactical team a year ago, so I trusted the process and that we’d get back at Barnes but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep having panic attacks after every case. It’s not fair to my team, someone’s going to get killed and it’s going to be my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s Barnes’. Why don’t you take a couple of days off and sit in on my lectures? You can even guest speak if you want, I scheduled an extra day in the syllabus in case I needed to go over any material again but I don’t need to use it.”

“You’re too good at this, Spence. Where’s your mom?” You looked around his small apartment, already starting to feel better.

“She’s in the bedroom resting. She’s liked having me home so much, although she asks me almost every day when you’re coming to visit,” he laughed.

“I’m sorry, I feel like I’m at work now more than when we were in the BAU. I have a newfound respect for every time I’ve called in SWAT in the past nine years,” you joked.

The comfortable silence that fell between you as you finished the drink in your hand was cut short by Spencer’s phone ringing.

“Doctor Reid,” he answered, “Hi Luke, what’s up?”

Your eyebrows smashed together, listening closely to the half of the conversation you were able to hear.

“Don’t bother, they’re with me. We’ll meet you there. Bye,” he hung up and turned to you with a slight frown.

“They have a case that they want us to look at. Barnes won’t approve it, we’re meeting at Emily’s.”

“A secret team meeting?” you stood up excitedly, unable to stop the grin spreading on your face, “let’s go.”

“Hey Spence?” you asked as he got into your car, a small detail of your conversation occurring to you.

“Hmm?” he clicked his seatbelt.

“You didn’t know I was coming over. The tea that you gave me… you made it for yourself, didn’t you?”

Spencer smiled bashfully, “you needed it more than I did.”

“The world doesn’t deserve you, Spencer Reid,” you sighed, putting the car in drive.

Galaxy Taglist: @kermitsaysgayrights @niallthedancingharry @shadyladyperfection @thatsonezesty13 @lexshead @ceeellewrites @howdycharlie @girlycakepops @fantastic-fans @canimarrypizzaornah @daisyflower138 @dyingrexx @taylormobley @tj-drinks-tea

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #platonic soulmates #platonic imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

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sammyblep · 3 years

Note

i'd love to hear your thoughts on sam too!

thank youuuuu also sorry in advance this is gonna get so long--

(edit: also sorry about the formatting tumblr said fuck this post in particular)

How I feel about this character

sam is one of my most favorite characters of all time. the first time i watched spn i was an unapologetic dean girl (gnt) but now i am FULL sam girl (gnt.) This is a character who is told that the world is a dark and dangerous place and that no matter how hard he tries he’s going to become one of the monsters that inhabits it and makes it worse. he’s raised on the leash held by his father and in the shadow of his brother (a shadow that protected him) and he just wants to be able to love them both but they won’t let him. he wants to be able to love and nothing will let him!!! He wants to be able to experience the world in a way that isn’t blood and gunsmoke and pain and he just wants so desperately that he’s willing to rip himself away from what little he’s known to do it.

and the thing is, the world proves him right! he IS a monster. he lets the devil free, the people he loves die endlessly, he chooses a demon over his brother, he allows himself to become demonic for the sake of revenge, because that endless love he has was twisted against the world he wanted to love and used to wound it. and the fact is - it WAS his decision. it’s a decision he has to live with forever and deal with the consquences of. the world proves him right - zachariah’s voicemail, dean telling him to pick a hemisphere, the angels using dean to warn him off his demon blood path, the murder of an innocent woman to kill lilith (cindy I think) - those are all monstrous things.

and sam, after all that - when he realizes what his love has been used for, the hurt and irreversible damage its caused, he takes it back for himself. he realizes he was wrong, and he - the boy who wanted nothing more than to love the world and be loved by it in return - offers up his love to that same dark horrible world that he ruined further. and he does it with no expectations, just determination to make it right. that love overpowers the devil and destiny and the writing of god himself. the same way cas’s love for dean overwrote chuck’s writings in 4x22, sam’s endless love and belief that the world is worth fighting for averts the apocalypse.

this is a man who ruined the world, and willingly; and this is a man who saw what he did and ruined himself, wilingly, endlessly, because he believed in fixing his mistakes. because he believed there was still love and good in the world that tried to kill him over and over. because sam winchester wants nothing but to be free to love anything and everything, and to have even a sliver of that love returned to him.

basically: i love him. i love him so much. sam winchester THE character of all time for me. (him and ned chicane and merle highchurch but that’s another thing-)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Eileen the love of my life Eileen Leahy!!! She’s badass and understanding and CHOSE to love Sam, and that’s truly what he needed and wanted more than anything else. She’s just - KAJDFNSKAJF i love eileen so so SO much and I think she and her wife Sam Leahy are head over heels in love. They love learning from each other and teaching each other and defending each other with the full knowledge that they can cover their own ass totally fine but that’s not the point the point is that they want to show their love and in their lifestyle this is a good way to do so. I think Sam is absolutely utterly disgustingly in love with Eileen and they want to constantly make that clear to the world and I think Eileen is completely wholly sickeningly in love with Sam and wants to make that clear to Sam. I think they’re neat and I think they’re perfect and I think they’re in love and I love them

Rowena - I haven’t seen a single episode with Rowena but i adore her energy and I think Sam being a sucker for the 600-yr-old queen of hell Rowena MacLeod is INCREDIBLE. Sam sees an incredibly powerful woman with knowledge and experiences beyond his understanding and says ‘is anyone gonna fall in love with her’ and doesn’t wait for an answer.

Gabriel! From the first time I saw Tall Tales I crackshipped him and sam, fun fact. I think there’s a LOT of complexity and nuance to any potential relationship of theirs (which is further complicated by any potential s-13 sabriel bait you wanna incorporate into your own personal good version (i haven’t seen it yet but love and light to y’all)) but I ALSO think too many people lose Gabriel’s characterization in order to make him palatable to Sam. And like no that’s not the point the POINT is they’re enemies-with-instant-tension to lovers! This is the ‘hedonist meets repressed man and they are instantly attracted but also hate each other and have to navigate that’ dynamic that I so rarely see done properly. However the MOST important part of Sabriel for me (as with any ship) is that it’s fun and DOES have a lot of cute potential. (Hedonistic-hugger Gabriel with touchstarved Sam my BELOVED)

Also Sabrieleena is fantastic I am a poly truther for a lot of things

Sarah Blake my first gay crush Sarah Blake... she deserved better and also she and Sam would have been a fantastic wlw relationship

I’m sure there’s more but I’ve forgotten them because it’s been ages since I saw past s5 and I frankly don’t remember much after the beginning of s6!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I think he and Cas should have been best friends more. Also I *DO* wish we’d gotten a better Sam&Crowley dynamic but alas j*rpad couldn’t step up to the plate :/// fuckin coward

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’m both a Tall!Sam truther and a Tiny!Sam truther... I don’t think either of these concepts are unpopular but idk anyone else who loves them both like i do. Then again I also don’t know many people in spndom sfkjnjkfjaks

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN TO SEE SAM HAVING A HORRIBLE BREAKDOWN AT SOME POINT. I HAVE OPINIONS ON WHEN AND WHERE BUT THIS MAN MADE OF LOVE FEELS EMOTIONAL PAIN SO HARD AND WHEN THE LOVE HE’S FILLED WITH IS TURNED AGAINST HIM I SIMPLY THINK HE WOULD HAVE LOST IT.

this is technically not him butttt I wish Max Miller had lived so he and Sam could have been best friends (I have s1e14 Nightmare derangement syndrome)

ok i know this said ONE thing but also like you said and like i said in the tags of your response for sam. HE SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS POWERS.

(send me a character and I’ll break their asses down)

#ask meme #sam winchester #spn #eileen leahy #rowena macleod #spn gabriel #sarah blake #castiel #spn crowley #max miller #longpost #this is so much text i'm so sorry laskfjsd #nevidimochka #edited for formatting

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iwanthermidnightz · 5 years

Text

The following is the summary of Kate’s latest episode on Taylor. Forgive the back and forth and random points... Kate likes to ramble. It was literally an hour and a half of that but she did bring up some good points. This is her analyzing ‘The Archer’ among other things! For the record, I’m writing from her perspective/direct words.

————————————————-

-Thinks The Archer is beautiful, ethereal, and lush

-It’s very Donna Lewis, very Robyn, it’s a nostalgic sound, very Jack Antonoff, very Lorde Melodrama.. its a certain sound reverberating female celestial voices that reminds her of the 90s and she likes it

-It’s a promo single which means it’s released to promote the album, it’s not released to radio stations for airplay- no music video

-Sounds transitional, unfinished song… it’s building

-Released to convey a level of emotional vulnerability

-Taylor said in radio interviews in the UK that this album is very pure and it’s not in response to something like she said reputation was

-“Lover is about what songs would I write for the sake of writing songs? Most of them are about love in the sense that they’re a love letter to love itself”

-We’re in an era with VERY little information

-We’ve seen Joe twice in 2019 (go figure)

-Taymerica, Squad, Calvin, we see her all the time

-Then she gets in this mysterious private ‘relationship’ with Joe almost so much so that there’s no reason to speculate or think about her personal life because it’s so under the radar and she’s never officially talked about him

-She automatically likes his Instagram posts within 2 minutes which a lot of us think is some sort of thing Instagram does for people like her

-She has a theory Taylor and Taylornation can see stories without read receipts (duh)

-The Archer represents a person that's reflecting on their behavior and their patterns and thinking about their relationships in life and thinking about the role of self-sabotage as it relates to your personal relationships

-Talks about the dive bar situation, she needs to spend more time thinking about it

-She talks about the easter eggs leading up to the archer and debates whether Taylor planned this out 3 years ago because of the archer angel in the delicate mv, and the way the people in the delicate mv see right through her, it makes sense

-She always wondered what aspects of Taylors personal life is a media narrative. What has she actually confirmed herself? What are these songs really saying?

-She thinks the songs on reputation sound like really closeted anthems

-It’s none of her business what her sexuality is but it is her business to interpret her songs the way any open-minded person should

-So much of reputation she really read being about a relationship with a woman because it was so grounded in secrecy, quiet moments, darkest little paradise, happened for the first time, I don’t want you like a best friend, everybody thinks that they know us but they know nothing about us, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, I had a bad feeling… (yes she named them all in the same breath)

-Lyrics have never been about the protection and privatization of involuntarily public love, they’ve been lyrics about a perception of a forbidden love -It’s one thing to hide from the paparazzi, and to be like “something happens when everybody finds out, loose lips sink ships all the damn time”, recites ‘I Know Places’ basically- calls it a closeted anthem because Taylor literally comes out of closet doors on the 1989 tour.

-Thinks there are themes in Taylors songs that she might miss as a straight person and doesn’t want to discount them

-She was reading an article in Vulture written by none other than known Kaylor truther Jill Gutowitz, mentioned how Jill very openly talks about Gaylor and Karlie Kloss and even recently Tree Paine liked one of her tweets

-Tree Paine is a mastermind and has boots on the ground everywhere (Indeed she is!)

-Thinks the Tree Paine like was strategic

-Jill said in an article that there were implicitly queer lyrics placed throughout ‘The Archer’: ‘pace like a ghost’, ‘heroes die all alone’, ‘help me hold onto you’, dying alone and holding on to someone who isn’t right for you are all important tenants of the lesbian canon (shes quoting Jill)

-Kate did not pick up on any of that cause shes straight haha

-Mentions how Taylors fans are divided by those who think her songs are blatantly queer and those who don’t and believe the Toe relationship is real bc the media shows them that and they believe it firsthand (true)

-She quotes the reputation prologue “when the album comes out gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test and there will be slideshows and photos backing up each incorrect theory because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it it didn’t happen right? Let me say it again louder for those in the back… we think we know someone but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us.”

-Kate says that those are her actual straightforward words and you can’t read that and say that it's not okay to believe in things we haven’t seen or that it’s calling her a liar to only believe what we’ve seen if she is telling us to our faces that we think we know her but the truth is we only know the version of herself that she has chosen to show us

-That is an admission of Taylor being strategic in what we know, and a ton we don’t know

-The prologue should’ve opened up the doors for an and all theories to be fair game but somehow it divided the fandom deeper than she’s ever seen

-Calling her a liar about what she’s told us thus far is not fair (it takes a mature person to understand that)

-The Taylor Swift strategic businesswoman who keeps us on our toes waiting for new music and clues is part of her success- not all. But there is a difference between that Taylor and the Taylor she is behind closed doors. She’s still a person. So to say she's a liar is not right.

-We can’t imagine what it takes to be in her position and not have lost her mind yet

-Maybe shes had a breakdown but we haven’t seen it (wasn’t that her disappearance before reputation?)

-Kate goes back to ‘The Archer’ and her internal struggle

-She read something that Taylor liked on Tumblr where someone said that The Archer is the song version of her poem called “If you’re anything like me”... epiphany.

-The song is about talking about her shortcomings while simultaneously accepting them and saying if you’re anything like me I’m sorry but you’ll be fine

-Kate recites the whole poem now lol

-Showcases a lot of strength in your weakness and pointing out the importance of going through these things in order to find oneself and to acknowledge that some things are just pillars of the way you are

-Back to the archer - this song is about the unwelcome justice system in her head in terms of patterns, knowing how she's going to react, in terms of wishing she were another way and objectively being able to see that but not being able to feel that is a very human experience to constantly be in between your head and your heart

-You only know your own experience, anyone that's hurt you stays in your subconscious or otherwise and we often react in response or defense of it and when she’s saying “no amount of friends at 25 will fill the empty seats at the lunch tables of your past and the teams that picked you last but darling, you keep trying”

-She has been criticized so many times and publicly taken down, shes felt like she can't do anything right at times

-Brings up the ME! Performance at the Billboard awards and no one talked about the performance, just that she ‘copied Beyonce’

-Stuff like that that was not intentional is often pegged on her for better or worse, correct or not

-To be accused of copying or being tone-deaf when shes probably orchestrated this team to make sure none of that happened would be so thankless and frustrating and sometimes the hate is louder

-At times in her career, she's had no choice but to jump to her own overwhelming defense

-You can't trust a lot of people if you are easily used and you do have to be somewhat cut and dry and I think that being put in an environment where it benefits you to be cut and dry because there are so many shady people but maybe she doesn’t really want to be

-She has no choice but to be black or white about her life and feelings and standing up for herself

-Back to The Archer- Kate doesn’t understand the point of “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey”

-It’s kind of like I’ve been the attacker and I’ve been the victim, I’ve had the upper hand and I’ve had the lower hand, I’ve been the dumper and I’ve been dumped

-Kate thinks Taylor’s been on the attack and defense and she knows what it feels like to be treated the exact same way she treats people and therein lies the issue

-That’s a confusing thing to process in your head period and to communicate in a song is inevitably going to be a little bit frantic and convoluted but that's kind of the point. The anxiety of how you handle things and how you accept yourself despite the way you likely mishandle things

-Taylor starts out saying “I’m ready for combat” in the most reluctant, delicate voice that is not indicative of somebody ready for combat

-That sounds like somebody who is a reluctant participant in their own patterns and they don’t want to be doing it but they know they’re going to and they know they’ll do it again

-These patterns and issues that we have exhibit over and over the reason for self-loathing and it's almost harder when you’re older and can acknowledge that you do these things and they don’t work for you but I still do them anyway

-It’s that self awareness paired with the active participation in these bad habits that make a person really start to doubt themselves and in using figures of speech like “I cut off my nose just to spite my face”, like that cuts deep bc she's basically being like “I overreact and I know I do and on purpose”

-In acting out of anxiety and fear you often end up riding off alone

-At a point you see people come and go, you know how this whole song and dance goes, at a point you start to mourn it before it's over

-That’s kind of like “yeah I never figured out the best way to maintain these relationships and I’m tired of it, I never grew up, I don’t know why I am this way but since I know they come and go and since I’ve always ridden on the train alone that probably what I’ll do again but with your help, help me hold onto you… like I want you to be the exception”

-We all think of ourselves as a catch and a trainwreck and it’s not a bad thing

-Looking for someone’s flaws is something everyone does in relationships

-As it relates to in the past when she’s been burned by somebody’s dark side she wants to call it when she sees it and lock the door before she gets robbed but then there's the conflicting part where she’s like “well what I’m alright, what if I can trust you and I’m alright right here?”

-The entire song is kind of like a back and forth of opposing feelings

-To cut off your nose to spite your face is basically a metaphor for overreacting

-She brings up the Hiddleswift stunt and Taylor revealing that she was Nils Solberg for some reason (connecting it to the metaphor)

(KATE IS RAMBLING SO I’M ONLY ADDING IMPORTANT THINGS NOW)

-We’re so quick to discount people's feelings just because they're in a position of fame and fortune and power but I think we would all feel no less us with money if anything everything’s intensified

-Taylor must have to put up a front all the time because she's not allowed to complain or have bad days when that is your normal and any therapist will tell you you can only heal operating out of your own normal.

-Pain is pain and when you start to compare pain is when you start to trivialize, minimize and not work through what you’re going through and you start to avoid/ignore it

-Taylors in a weird position where she probably has a more internal struggle that anybody

-Through her music we should acknowledge and think about what it’s like on that side, we owe her the respect to be like damn.. this must be hard

-Talks about the “all the king's horses” line and Humpty Dumpty

-All of the resources and people trying to help Taylor at her disposal and they still can’t fix this and that is an empty feeling, like a lost cause

-When Kate hears ‘The Archer’ she hears a highly anxious episode that is not just processing the individual situation going on but then doing a thing where you project it on every single thing that's ever going to happen in your life

OK FIN.

#be there in five #taylor swift #the archer #Song analysis #pr #lover #podcast

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kaylorevidence · 5 years

Text

Media References

This masterpost is going to contain a collection of articles that reference Karlie and Taylor and/or suspicions that Taylor might not be straight - starting in April of 2019. Also here’s the link to the website version. Enjoy!

APRIL 2019:

VULTURE:

What the Hell Do All These Taylor Swift Clues Mean? An Investigation

“My personal favorite theory hails from the Kaylor shippers, the faction of Swifties that believes that Taylor Swift and her former BFF Karlie Kloss were romantically involved. The theory is that Swift has been dropping hints about her love for Karlie Kloss since the Reputation era. On Tuesday night, Kaylor shippers picked up on something crucial: During Taylor’s performance of “New Years Day” at the TIME 100 Gala, Swift seemingly changed the lyrics from “I want your midnights” to “I want her midnights” not once, but twice. “New Years Day” is the final track on Reputation, which, in theory, could segue into the “next chapter…”

Also, the Reputation CD skin pictures a collaged photo of the pop star — but Kaylors think it’s actually a dual image of Swift and Kloss, which sends the incognito message that they are one. That collage-image theme is bleeding into this new album cycle, too — we’ve seen it used again in photos from her Elle U.K. photo shoot. In the Reputation song “So It Goes,” Swift sings, “Cut me into pieces, gold cage hostage to my feelings, and our pieces fall right into place.” Swift loves a puzzle, and these images actually look like puzzle pieces. Plus, some Swifties hilariously posit that her Instagram of chickens wearing sunglasses was a reference to Taylor and Karlie in sunglasses — the “chicks,” if you will. She wants us to solve the Kaylor puzzle, you guys.”

Okay, So Now What Is Taylor Swift’s Giant Butterfly Mural Supposed to Mean?

“It would be nothing short of irresponsible if I didn’t begin with the Kaylor drama. Swift has a faction of superfans called the Kaylors, which is also the “ship name” or portmanteau of her and Karlie Kloss’s names; the Kaylor shippers believe the two were romantically involved in secret. There are many theories swirling that whatever Swift has been teasing for a big 4/26 reveal will heavily allude to her relationship with Kloss. Just look at the mural.

Painted by Kelsey Montague (you’ve seen her other wing murals in every IG influencer’s photos, surely), the butterfly mural is bleeding bisexual lighting and brimming with rainbows — the official sigil of the Queers — and cats — the mascots of Lesbianism. As one Twitter user pointed out, the mural also looks impossibly similar to a giant set of rainbow butterfly wings that Karlie Kloss rocked at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret fashion show — you know, that same year she and Taylor walked the runway together. The mural also contains two ladybugs in the top-left corner — ladies, noted. *loosens tie*”

NYLON:

Is Taylor Swift Trying To Tell Us That Kaylor Was Real?

“When Twitter user @mckinneykelsey said "it has never been a better time to be a long-time Kaylor conspiracy theorist," she wasn't wrong. The larger-than-life wings look oddly similar to a pair that Kloss wore on the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show runway. Additionally, their matching tie-dye shirts in IG pics? Super-gay, and I'm super into it.

Mckinney also pointed out that Swift's potential single dropping at midnight shares the same date as Lesbian Visibility Day, and this sounds exactly like the kind of dramatic plan Swift would concoct if she were to ever plan a public coming out.”

BUZZFEED NEWS:

Taylor Swift Unveiled A New Song And Music Video After Teasing Fans For Weeks

“There’s also the long-standing conspiracy theory about Swift’s relationship with model Karlie Kloss that suggests the two were more than just best friends. Fans speculated based on a series of photos, song lyrics, and tabloid-recorded moments that Swift and Kloss were romantically entwined, shipping the two on the internet as “Kaylor.”

Then when Swift performed at this year’s Time 100 Gala, she apparently switched the lyrics in her song “New Year’s Day” from “I want your midnights to “I want her midnights.”

In addition to her colorful aesthetic on Instagram, Swift also unveiled a butterfly mural in Nashville on Thursday, painted by street artist Kelsey Montague. Inside the butterfly are rainbows, hearts, and other colorful symbols. Some fans thought it could also be a metaphor for Swift’s sexuality. One journalist even pointed out the similarity between Swift’s butterfly mural and a butterfly costume Kloss wore in a 2013 Victoria’s Secret runway show, further alluding to the “Kaylor” conspiracy theory.

Fans also pointed out that April 26, the date that Swift had been counting down to for her big reveal, is Lesbian Visibility Day.”

Why So Many Of Us Believed Taylor Swift Was Coming Out

“For years — years! — we’d gathered every clue.

Kissgate. All those rainbows! Swapped lyrics featuring female pronouns. Lyrics that just seem really gay. The cats. The donations to LGBT causes. That performance with Hayley Kiyoko. Today, April 26th, the day of Taylor Swift’s long-awaited announcement, is literally lesbian visibility day.

I can’t claim to be nearly as much of a #Gaylor diehard as the true champions who’ve dedicated themselves to combing every last social media post, every public appearance, every exchange — however brief or seemingly insignificant — for evidence of Taylor’s queerness (and/or evidence of a romantic relationship with her sometimes-bff Karlie Kloss). But there’s always been a deep, deep part of me that suspected one of the century’s biggest pop stars, as maniacally loved as she is deeply loathed the world over, plays (at least some of the time) for the girl’s team.

But particularly in the last few days, I’ve lost my head completely. I wouldn’t even call myself a Taylor fan, but I became a full-on #Gaylor truther, yelling at all of my colleagues that, surely, this famous lady was going to come out — as bi, as gay, as something. Jill Gutowitz’s investigations at Vulture had me hooked. The mural Taylor commissioned, revealed in Nashville yesterday, could not look more like the wings Karlie wore at the Victoria Secret show in 2013 — the year both she and Taylor walked in the show. Why would Taylor change some lyrics to “her” this week, of all weeks? Why???”

AUTOSTRADDLE:

Taylor Swift Didn’t Come Out But She Sure Did Make a Gay Music Video

“Taylor Swift sure did whip up our frenzied speculation that she was going to come out tonight with the release of her new music video. First of all, she showed up at the NFL draft in Nashville wearing a pansexual pride flag as a dress to talk to lesbian icon Robin Roberts who was wearing pantsuit, okay? And then she announced the new single was going to be called “ME!” and there’s a butterfly on the album cover and also the song is a collab with Panic! At The Disco pansexual heartthrob Brendon Urie. Gay, gay, gay, gay!

Alas! She did not come out!

But the music video is gay as all hell. Rainbows, a thousand women in suits and ties, unicorns, cats on cats on cats.

Anyway, that song “Dress” from Reputation is still gay and you won’t convince me otherwise.”

#kaylor masterpost #taylor swift masterpost #taylor swift #karlie kloss #ts7 press #kaylor

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isisapollon · 4 years

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Alien Tech at the Vatican + The Jesuits + Archons ++

Cosmic Disclosure: Alien Tech at the Vatican I was guided to take a look at Corey Goodes blog a few days ago and the article that caught my eye was ‘Cosmic Disclosure: Alien Tech at the Vatican’ The article is simply the transcript of a discussion that David Wilcock had with his whistle-blower friend Emery Smith who has suffered many attacks of various kinds from the cabal due to his speaking out. “Emery Smith claims to have autopsied about 3,000 different types of ET humanoids. The day after we announced his coming forward, he was hit with an attack that landed him in the emergency room.” https://divinecosmos.com/davids-blog/1224-emery-smith/ Emery and David were travelling somewhere by car when this discussion was recorded. They were discussing the autopsies Emery made but the conversation ended up being about a visit he made to the Vatican library to get more information on a particular type of ufo…!! “So, a private organization went to the DoD [US Department of Defense] and the mil [military] labs I was working at, and they needed some technicians and some scientists to go to the Vatican to look at their archives, because they know that they had some information on a craft that was taken in New Mexico.” After nearly 8 years of learning new things from the places that I trust for information, I thought I heard it all. However, this discussion between David and Emery reveals things that were new to me. An example, Emery; “And, of course, the Vatican has always been a huge database. It has a huge archive of many things: artifacts and things they have found from space and have collected over many, many, many, many years. And they have an underground base under the Vatican. So two scientists and myself were deployed to that area to the Vatican to an undisclosed location in the Vatican. And we took an elevator down about seven or eight floors.” You will not be disappointed when you read this article and what it reveals. My reaction to it is something like this. My GOD WE ARE LIVING IN THE DARK AGES ON THIS PLANET WITHOUT HAVING A CLUE ABOUT IT. I released after reading this that if we were not in quarantine here on this planet that we would have reached the level of technological knowhow that we have to day already about 200 years ago. I’m guessing that if that were the case then at this point in time we would be in a position of where we could be nearly 300 years ahead in time from where we are now! I’m hoping that you will understand where I’m coming from when you read the info from Emery. Just to whet your appetite for reading on I will give a short quote from further down this article and then the link to the entire post. “Emery: It’ll be cities will be put up everywhere. I know even our government has contacted me to orchestrate and architect a special city here that’s self-sustainable, that’s off-grid, has its own communications, its own electric, and all this stuff, because they’re preparing to do this model everywhere.” …. Then this quote from Emery’s visit ‘inside’ (below) the Vatican David: But what you’re describing right now is like straight out of a sci-fi movie. It must have been just breathtakingly incredible. Emery: It was the most amazing thing . . . one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen, . . . David: Wow! Cosmic Disclosure: Alien Tech at the Vatican https://spherebeingalliance.com/blog/transcript-cosmic-disclosure-alien-tech-at-the-vatican.html TZ here again: I’m thinking of course directly that I hear Emery say re the special city “, its own electric, and all this stuff, because they’re preparing to do this model everywhere.” …. That ‘their’ plans to create this special city is not for the love of humanity – no – it’s the next stage in their plans to keep the sheeple occupied with something new and fantastic that they have created to keep us happy and still in quarantine and under control etc.…. that’s how they have always done it. It’s all a game to them our controllers – its all under their control and has been – BUT THEIR GAME IS SOON OVER. For the reader to understand just a little more about how the Jesuits work I will take some earlier information provided by Cobra as an example.

Cobra told us very early on, on his blog that the Jesuits had been controlling the ‘show on this planet’ for 500 years. We learned that a certain number of archons had incarnated into black nobility families and the archons were in control of the Jesuits. I must point out that so many are going to be shocked really shocked when all the truth comes out. For a couple of years (2013-2014) when posting, writing my website and blog I was still being fooled by Jesuit bloggers so called whistleblowers and helped to spread their information believing them to be true ‘truthers’ when in fact they were working in disguise for the Jesuits. You have to keep in mind that these wily, manipulative Jesuits are following – keeping control over all developments on this planet which means they always have to be ahead of the game and provide ‘good guys’ and ‘saviors,’ etc. for the next part of their quarantine control. Here an excerpt from one Cobra update called ‘The Jesuit Agenda’ from Nov 28th, 2013. …“The Jesuit plan is to let the Light forces purge the Illuminazi faction (Rockefeller, Bush, Kissinger, Cheney & Co.) and then secretly team up with the Rothschilds to take over the process of creating the new financial system. Their agents are present on endless negotiations for the surrender of the Cabal and they are trying to steer the agreements closer to the Jesuit agenda. This is the source of proposals to make the Pope the new M1 (monetary controller). This is the reason why the new Jesuit Pope is promoting the idea of a central world bank. They are also seriously considering the idea of allowing a worldwide debt jubilee so that they would be portrayed as saviours of humanity under the wings of »benevolent« Catholic church. They would then promote the Catholic cult in a renewed, more publicly appealing way, and gradually absorb other religions into it (starting with Buddhism) until they would reach their goal of a global religious mind programming cult, at the same time keeping all past atrocities of the Catholic church under the carpet. Through special compartmentalized CIA programs they have infiltrated the truther movement to the point that about 70% of intel in alternative media is disinfo coming directly or indirectly from Jesuit sources. I (Cobra) have a list of people and groups inside the truther / liberation movement that are either under direct Jesuit control or are manipulated by the Jesuits and it may or may not be released in the near future. The Jesuits are working under the command of the Archons to maintain the quarantine status of planet Earth. It is good to know that the Jesuit organization is a 16th century creation of the Farnese family, which is one of the most powerful papal Black Nobility families in Italy. One of the reasons the Jesuits have created WW2 was to orchestrate a worldwide gold grab to finance their black budget programs to maintain the quarantine status of our planet (secret space program, deep underground military bases). Operation Golden Lily was a Jesuit operation and general Yamashita was a puppet in the hands of the Jesuits:” to read more about this go to links provided below this article.” I would really like to recommend to everyone who is not familiar with Cobra’s early updates to go to this page on my website where it’s all gathered neatly update after update and you will find information about this planet that no other blogs would have been able to provide. HERE IS A LIST OF THE ARTICLES ON THIS PAGE – created in November 2014 The Elephant in the Room/Explosion of Information/True Storm of Disclosure Imminent Cobra’s Three Photos 1A] ARCHONS ~ FALL OF THE ARCHONS ~ MAY 8TH, 2012 1B] ARCHONS ~ FALL OF THE ARCHONS CONTINUED ~ MAY 10TH, 2012 2] ARCHONS ~ CURRENT ARCHON SITUATION UPDATE ~ MAY 26TH, 2012 3] ARCHONS ~ ARCHONS INTERFERE IN CABAL SURRENDER NEGOTIATION ~ JUNE 7TH, 2012 4] ARCHONS ~ HISTORY RE ARCHONS + THE VEIL [MATRIX] JUNE 18TH, 2012 5] ARCHONS ~ LAYERS OF CONSPIRACY ~ JULY 15TH, 2012 6] ARCHONS ~ EXPLOSION OF LIGHT ~ JULY 26TH, 2012 7] ARCHONS ~ ETHERIC ARCHON GRID ~ JAN 03RD 2013 8] ARCHONS ~ PLANETARY SIT: UPDATE ~ ETHERIC PLANE ~ OCT 15TH, 2013 9] ARCHONS ~ FALL OF THE ARCHONS UPDATE ~ JANUARY 12TH, 2014 1] JESUITS ~ THE JESUIT AGENDA ~ 28TH NOVEMBER 2013 2] JESUITS ~ Knowledge of the Dangers of Jesuits was Spread in the 1880’s Through the Work of Helena Blavatsky Channeling Master Kuthumi – Founding the Theosophical Movement 3A] The Jesuits the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers and their different roles from 13/09/2013 by TZS 1A] THE CHIMERA ~ APRIL 8TH, 2014 1B] CHIMERA ~ JULY 7TH, 2014 1C} CHIMERA ~ AUGUST 5TH, 2014 1D] CHIMERA ~ 8TH SEPTEMBER 2014 1E] CHIMERA ~ 16TH SEPTEMBER 2014 1F] CHIMERA ~ OCTOBER 7TH, 2014 The Secret Space Program Cont. from my website this is how I present the above list of articles; It has been a widely discussed question on this planet about who the ‘power behind the throne’ really has been. It was not until the 8th April 2014 that we received the final ‘key’ to this truth. Up until that date we have believed that the main archons who created the matrix/veil have been running the show via the core Jesuit group worldwide. We learned earlier about their being archons in physical bodies among the black nobility families. Suddenly we are informed about this other archon group known as the chimera. In later interviews with Cobra we have learned that these two groups of archons cooperate with one another yet keep to their distinctive groups. You will get all the details about these groups here on this page. My personal belief is that the so called ‘elephant in the room’ that Cobra referred to early in 2014 is none other than the Jesuit archon group. Why I maintain this is very simple. The Jesuits through their evil tentacles spread out across the entire globe through a multitude of schools, universities, and institutions of one kind or another and especially in the Catholic and Islamic world have affected the control of just about every subject of interest there is in existence. Of course, these groups alone would not have succeeded in this endeavor if not for the fact that they managed to unite forces with others. They have enlisted the support of various Reptilian groups and have been running affairs through the two main groups/families that we know as the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers. All of the details as to who controls what within these various groups are supplied here on this page in great detail. Most of the information has come through Cobra and the Resistance Movement – RM. I myself compiled the article about the Jesuits and the warnings given about them 120 years ago from the Ascended Master Kuthumi via Helena Blavatsky from a much longer Theosophical article. I have also compiled and written the article The Jesuits, the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers. To continue reading: https://www.veritasgalacticsweden.net/introduction/dark-cabal-rulers PS: I feel that I have to give a personal ending to this information and why I still feel the anger popping up when I consider the Jesuits and their control. I was born in Dublin Ireland. Many will be aware that this country was one of the most Catholic countries on the planet. Everything about my life was controlled from day 1 by the Archon Jesuit controlled Catholic church. I have always had a need of contact with spirit. When there was nowhere to turn I turned to Mother Mary and Jesus. I can say right now that this use of HIS name (Jesu) for ‘their’ control makes me angry. ALSO, do not believe that I am so stupid as to blame the entire Jesuit group. Probably 2 out of 3 Jesuits are good people. I am speaking about the CORE approx. 10% of them who run the show – probably no more than 14-15% of the Jesuits know that this group controls the entire planet! Aged 13-14 or so I became interested in reading about astrological sun signs. One Sunday sitting in the local Catholic church I found myself looking up at the roof of that right winged part of the church. There were 4 corners to that valve and lo and behold there are the four cardinal signs in astrology!! The Eagle (higher aspect of Scorpio) the water bearer (Aquarius) the Bull and the Lion. That’s when things got a bit confusing. We were warned about dabbling in things like astrology by the priests and nuns. Somewhere between 95-96% of Irish schools were run by various orders of priests or nuns. Chi Rho symbol + Alpha and Omega So why on earth were the 4 cardinal astrology signs on the roof of the church? They have a rule you know to show everything ‘out in the open’ yet concealed. By my bedside I have a memorial card from the funeral of my father who died in 2008. My sister and I chose the texts etc. that we wanted on this card to be given to friends and family. One thing that we did not choose was the emblem that is part of the design on the front and back! of this little card namely, the Chi Rho symbol. This is another symbol that I thought s lot about when seeing it in front of me at Sunday mass on the altar cloth etc. trying to understand its meaning. I was thinking maybe the P is for Peace and the X is like the x in the word Pax – peace. I studied Latin at school. But no not! The Chi Rho is the symbol of the archon Constantine the Great the Archon who created the Christian cult,found on coins of that time etc. X 1000’s of other places. See more evidence of this on the link above this paragraph. Here another excerpt from The Event info Page 2 on my website – paragraph heading is the 2nd Khazar Invasion The Roman Emperor Constantine the Great 306-307, converted to Christianity and in 313 issued the Edict of Milan which declared tolerance for the religion. which then led to the Council of Nicaea twelve years later. There, in 325 AD, under the influence of the Archons, Constantine gathered all the bishops, and all of the priests to standardize the religions of the Empire, in what amounted to a hostile takeover of Christianity by the Cult of Sol Invictus. The Cult was the official religion of the Empire and it was thoroughly infiltrated by the worshipers of Baal, who had come to Rome with the Royal families of the Egypt and middle-east when Rome had conquered and annexed them. Using the new Catholic Church, they implemented an empire-wide mind control program based on the idea of Heresy, allowing them to persecute anyone who would not agree their teachings. In the western Roman Empire, by 393 AD people were living in fear of reason and the personal connection to the Source. By this cause, the civil government was without practical direction and became easy prey for waves of Barbarian tribes to destroy the Roman Empire by substituting their armed control of secular law for that of the Empire. The Archon infested church created bishoprics to rule the hearts and minds, while giving the right to extract taxes to the Barbarians. It was at this time that the Catholic Church destroyed all of the Goddess Temples. The archon and reptilian {Khazar} invaders tore down each temple and built archon temples over these sites – with the intention of stifling the energy. *** The purpose of the use of Heresy was to destroy rights of people to think for themselves. Mystery schools, Christian gnostic groups and nature worshipping paganism were replaced with Christian cult mind programming. This programming was enhanced with the creation of virtual reality hells on the lower astral plane, which were then used by the Church to strengthen its position. The Bishop of Milan known as Theodosius the Great {this soul was totally Archon controlled} destroyed all the old mystery schools. He ordered the burning of the Alexandria library and the books were destroyed or put into the Vatican library. Link to this page here; https://www.veritasgalacticsweden.net/the-event/the-event-2

The last pic describes the ‘acceptable’ church version of why we have the Chi Rho symbol everywhere. Here also from ARCHON update nr 9 (list above) “The Farnese family is the main architect of the Cabal as they have created the Jesuits with a little help of the Borja family back in the 1540s. Immediately after that, they have built their first Pentagon in Caprarola near Rome: In their »map room« inside that building they have shaped the destiny of the world during 16th and 17th centuries: It is interesting to note that the world map from the 16th century shows Antarctica, which was officially »discovered« in the 1770s. Around that time the Farnese have decided to use Jesuit Adam Weishaupt to create Illuminati, elevate the Rothschilds to power and move the Farnese seat of power to Washington, DC. They have built their second Pentagon there. It is also interesting to see that Larry Farnese, a member of the family, is a senator: http://www.senatorfarnese.com/”

Map Room from 16th Century + Antarctica, which was officially »discovered« in the 1770’s I could go on and on about the wiles of these Jesuits but there is so much more info on the website links I’ve provided above for those interested. However, I just remembered one other link to information about the truth behind the WW2 holocaust from my website: This will truly shock anyone who has not heard of it before so be warned. I worked for many hours and weeks to provide an overview of a much longer article about this subject that Cobra provided earlier on in an update; Synopsis of The Vatican Holocaust Part 1 of 8 “The Great Pentagram of Evil” The Sacrifice of 18 million non-Catholics to the Devil/Satan https://www.veritasgalacticsweden.net/introduction/important-news PS – again! Finally if I hear or read any more comments whether on PFC or my blog that are in ANY WAY derogatory of Cobra and his non-stop work for the liberation of this planet I will remove them directly. I have lost all patience whatsoever with ignorance, stupidity and downright evil. I am glad that he finally spoke out himself recently. Despite the loss of his beloved Isis to the dark side people continue to try to attack him. OK they just don’t understand and they neither have the time or the patience or the willingness to do the work and discover the truth, so they are a sorry bunch who will eventually wake up. Namaste and Love

https://prepareforchange.net/2018/03/28/alien-tech-at-the-vatican-the-jesuits-archons/

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