1,4,7,16,19 for the asks!

So many! thank you, sweet anon!

Song of the year?

I was obsessed with several songs throughout the year. I think for the longest part it was a song called I Was a Fool by Tom Hugo and Alexandra Rotan. So I'm gonna go with that.

4. Movie of the year?

I didn't watch many movies this year! One I remember fondly is Downton Abbey: A New Era. It was so much fun. A real feel-good movie.

7. Favorite actor of the year?

Oooof. You're asking the difficult questions here 😁I actually don't know. No one comes to mind if I'm honest.

16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

I wish I knew. This is the first year in forever that I have nothing to look forward to. There's absolutely nothing in my future. I hope I will be able to find something I can be excited about.

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

the only downside of my personal art and self portraits being semi well received (thank u by the way) is that on occasion some wah wah transphobe blog will get ahold of it and sing my praises of Wombmanhood and Femininity. which is so fucking funny, because terfs harassed me relentlessly about the fact that I pursued a breast reduction (butchering my body, reducing my femininity, being brainwashed, and so on) only to sing praises to my current body as The Natural Female Form. very, very funny. I normally do portraits of my body, for the extremely, *extremely* obvious reasons, which include but are not limited to: I have infinite reference images of my own body. but I think I would like to expand, in the future

behold. ARM

(continuation of this)

Preview of the runner up results from this poll. I wish everyone who wanted to see more SVSSS characters from me a merry "I'm So Sorry'.

So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck

lizbeth lovell :: leader and main vocalist of Starstruck, the newest biggest girl group in town 🎤🌟

what she wore in their newest mv; what she wore on stage at simapalooza; what she wears to dance practices

She can transform into a dragon and then falls in love with a man on a mission to slay all the dragons he finds. Who then begins to travel with her brother and his friend and keeps hearing about how "my sister could kick your ass" and he tries to keep his sister away from the dragon slayer because that's a risk he won't take.

Then the sister ends up marrying the dragon slayer.

The end.

fic snippy

“No, really, I can tell what people listen to with just one look,” Regulus argues. He glances at James, who has his eyes on the road, head tilted in consideration. The red of the light floods the car, staining James’ face in a warm hue. It looks good on him, Regulus decides. “Okay, do me,” James says. The turn signal ticks steadily on. The light stays red. Regulus doesn’t breathe. For the barest, briefest moment, heat floods his face. He’s thankful James is such a careful driver, eyes never on Regulus for long. “What?” He manages. “Do me,” James repeats. He shoots Regulus a quick glance. “What do I listen to?” Air floods his lungs again, the warm scent of wood and allspice that is now so familiar to him. He pretends to consider it for a moment. Makes a show of looking James up and down, examining the way his glasses sit low on his nose, somehow always smudged. The light turns green. The car rolls into motion. “Whale sounds and city pop,” Regulus says eventually. James’ eyes flit over to Regulus, wide and amazed behind his smudged glasses, eyebrows raised. “Holy shit, how did you know?” He breathes out, incredulous. Regulus huffs, soft and fond. “You regularly let me queue up songs on your Spotify. I have eyes, James.” James’ shoulders droop. He sulks with his whole body, Regulus has learned. It is not enough to pout, mouth twisted in childlike annoyance. No, he needs to sag and wilt like the plants on Regulus’ windowsill, not satisfied until they get attention. “Not fair,” James whines and Regulus imagines that he sounds like the kids he teaches. “Never said I was.”

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

having thoughts about how Husk actually has very little left to redeem bc he started his journey of self-change before even coming to work at the hotel, but at the same time redemption isn't even his goal- he ain't even aiming for heaven, he just wanted to be a better person and maybe now with friends and especially Angel, who he supports so much and wants to see succeed, maybe now he has a reason to be a better person

I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.

It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.

still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby

the chapter songs in Alan Wake 2,, flawless

Hey @thehomelybadger , thank you for breaking my heart

plain and simple i am not going to be able to remain in this fandom long-term if i have to keep putting disclaimers on every single one of my posts that say i don't condone dennis' bad, bad actions and that i am in fact aware he's got a history of sexual assault and dubious/nonconsent. the entire gang has done heinous shit. why is dennis the only one who needs to be treated like this? if some rando wants to post about how dennis is pookie pie that doesn't automatically mean they're blind to his crimes. every single member of the gang is a piece of shit. that's kind of the point.

draw dennis with cat ears who give a shit