#i think i might be too far gone
Text
:)
#if you saw the post i made like this yesterday no you didnt#anyways#i still feel like im losing my mind a little bit#like i keep thinking for too long and it all goes downhill#every single time i swear to fuck#i hate being pitied its the worst fucking feeling in the world#i hate being known i hate being unknown i hate that i cant talk about any of this shit too#i kind of want to keep it hidden in some sort of stupid move of spite for the universe#i feel like im getting closer to hurting myself badly#i think i might be too far gone#i want to talk to anyone about anything im ever feeling but the idea of someone giving me pity is so appalling that i cant#this wouldve been the first day i havent been high at all for nearly a month but i seriously can not fucking take it#i wish i didnt have to think#i keep wanting to do something to distract myself from my thoughts and it keeps getting harder to ignore those urges#i know where the knives and pills and whatever the fuck else i would need in this house are#i think i might be doing myself a favor by comitting to it#not just in the moment but like. i dont know#i think maybe i should shut up and pretend like everything is alright again#i want to stop thinking#sigh#sorry im done
1 note
·
View note
Text
i keep thinking about this coz it's such a common trope in media but i can't even guess how common it is in real life so
#i hope i covered every answer???? idk this is such a fascinating topic to me#coz personally i know i could never die for anyone no matter how much they meant to me#maybe my family never being religious has smtg to do with that idk but like. the#whole ''i might be gone but at least they'll be alive'' never comforted me#like im dead. i wouldn't know#also my will to live is far too strong i think but idk it's just such a cool question to me#barking#my polls#mypolls#polls#forgot my darn tag
205 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't stop here.
The Worst of Evil // Episode 10
#the worst of evil#twoe#ji chang wook#park junmo#kdramaedit#my gifs#nobody does eyeball acting like him#I think this is the moment where junmo realizes that protecting euijeong is no longer a shield he can hide behind#it doesn't matter anymore that gicheul is trying to marry his wife or that he might lose her#he literally has gone too far and can't stop here for her sake
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Headcanon based on something I just drew.
When Apollo is annoyed he rants, when he’s angry he yells, but when he’s truly furious, he’s completely silent.
Many a mortal have died to nothing more than the sound of an arrow being let loose. In his rage, Apollo deemed their lives, and their deaths, unworthy of his voice. No requiem for the wicked.
#something something#the confrontation after Apollo kills the master Cyclopes#Zeus is yelling and screaming and so furious#and at the foot of his throne apollo stands silent and unapologetic#and for the first time Zeus realizes he might’ve pushed his son too far#so he attempts to cast Apollo to Tartarus to fix his mistake#but throughout all his threats Apollo remains silent#too far gone in his rage and grief to even care what his fathers punishment might be#this specific moment is so important to me bc it must have been such a breaking point in their relationship#but it’s mentioned so little#it’s the only time (as far as I know) Apollo makes the choice on his own to strike against his father#even if it isn’t against Zeus directly we know from the books it was an attempt to get rid of his power over Apollo#and that’s the one thing Zeus is terrified of#anyways#working on toapril a bit early ;)#I’m deluding myself into thinking I can do every day woop woop#trials of apollo#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#sunny speaks#headcanons
306 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did a vine theme for pumpkin carving this year. A pumpkin pumpkin and a rose pumpkin.
I'd made a poll asking whether to do vines or draw Dan and Valerie from Danny Phantom, or both. ...And although 'vines' won, the idea of adding something Dan and Val related was too compelling. The thought of deep red roses with their thorns being like Valerie. ...And, well, I suppose Dan's like a big heavy pumpkin being thrown at stuff?
I tried making the plants wrap around an object representing them, Dan in a D shape and Valerie in a triangle shape. Though it's not very noticeable.
#pumpkin#jack o lantern#halloween#vines#roses#danny phantom#dan phantom#valerie gray#asj post#asj art#the Valerie one turned out better. It was the second one I did. I changed methods a little for it.#oops. I got the trigger for Valerie's multi-weapon wrong. I should've checked.#(the weapon was once misidentified as her Ecto-Grenade Launcher; but that's actually a different weapon.)#I also thought the way pumpkin flowers are oddly brighter in the center might give a ghostly look. Though I hadn't carved them very well.#I would've gone about it differently if that had been the second pumpkin. I'm always too nervous during my first pumpkins.#These are the largest pie pumpkins I've bought so far. They're a little bigger than two years ago and a lot bigger than last year.#They're 25 and 24 inches in circumference.#...It took a day and a half to carve each one.#The 1st pumpkin I scraped out the vines. But for the 2nd one I did a vector technique on the vines and leaves where I drew outlines & dug.#...I still think pumpkins aren't really vines but it's simpler to say that as a shorthand for 'climbing plant'.#I might add some alternate views in a reblog later.
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sweet Surprise
During a trip to Skingrad, Lecrinn and Garrus decide to surprise each other. Early in the timeline, though I'm not actually sure how canon it is.
The lost sweetroll prompt fic. I spent half a month writing this, finished it, and went "meh." By then I'd worked on it to the point of not being able to tell if it was good or not, and I still can't tell.
So I'll just release it into the wild and you can tell me. (I do know some things I do and don't like but I decided to keep them to the tags.) From October 2022 but I'm still accepting concrit on it.
@druidx @babyblueetbaemonster @inkysqueed
---------
Cradling two sweet rolls in one hand Lecrinn held them close as she pushed the heavy door with the other. She opened it just enough to slip out, leaving the chatter and warmth of the busy inn for the street outside. It was also busy and warm but more tolerably so.
She squinted against the afternoon sun. Now that she had the sweet rolls it was time to find Garrus, after she dragged him all the way from Cheydinhal to Skingrad it was only right he get something out of it.
The roads were narrow between the tall stone buildings that arched above them. She weaved through their hustle and bustle. The street widened out into a fork, forward continued to more buildings and to the left, a statue of a horseman. There gazing up at the statue she found Garrus.
Catching her from the corner of his eye he turned and beamed at her.
She couldn’t help but smile back.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said as she walked up.
“So do I!” She stopped, both their smiles falling at the sweet rolls in the other’s hands. Looking back up at the other’s face they gave laughing smiles.
“I suppose we had the same idea,” he shifted.
She shrugged. “It’s a good idea.” His smile looked forced, he seemed to feel awkward, she didn’t know why and it was making her feel awkward too. “Well… this one’s yours,” she held one out and they swapped, both laughing a little. She noticed he only held one. “Did you already eat yours?”
“I uh,” he glanced down, “I don’t know how much money this trip will end up costing so I only bought one for you.”
“Oh…” she looked to her second one.
“You can keep it.”
“Nah, lets split it later.”
“No, you bought it for yourself, you can have it.”
She walked passed him. “One and a half sweet rolls is still more than I planned on getting.”
He tilted his head, he supposed that was true. Turning he saw her sitting on the round base of the statue. He looked startled. “Are you allowed to sit there?”
“I don’t see anyone guarding it.” Pulling the pack off her shoulders and beside her she rifled through it.
“What if you get in trouble?”
“Then you can just arrest me.”
He looked around before going over to sit beside her.
Finding a small cloth she wrapped up one of the rolls and put it in her pack. She then turned all her attention to the one in her hand, closing her eyes as she took a bite, savoring its sweet spice.
“Mmm!”
She looked to Garrus who was looking at his sweet roll surprised.
“They really are better in Skingrad.”
“Salmo’s sweet rolls are famous for a reason.”
“Perhaps we should get more of these before we leave.”
Her smile widened. “Does Cheydinhal have its own desserts?” She took another bite.
“There’s the thirty layer cake.”
She had to quickly swallow the bite. “Thirty layers?”
“They’re thin.”
“Why would you ever need thirty layers?!”
“No, they’re very thin, it isn’t much taller than a regular cake.”
“Oh… I’m having a hard time picturing it,” she gave a smirk, “I think I’ll have to see it for myself.” The smile turned more genuine. “Is it good?” She took a smaller bite.
“I haven’t got to try one, they’re expensive.”
The smile fell. “Oh.”
“I like the spiced root cake the Dunmer make, and there’s one made from something called marshmerrow, it’s a little too sweet for me but I think you’d like it.”
“I’ll have to try them next time I’m in town.”
“I’m also quite fond of the bread they make out of yams, though,” he lowered his voice, “I’ve been afraid to try it with scrib jelly.”
“What’s that?”
“…Maybe when you’re done with your sweet roll.”
Her brows rose.
As they continued eating she looked around, gaze catching on the red leaves of a nearby tree, its branches bobbing slightly.
He stared out at the street. “I have been trying to learn more about Dunmer culture, and not judge things that are different too quickly.”
She smirked to him. “Except for scrib jelly?”
“Well some things are easier to respect from afar.”
“Ah.”
“It is admirable though, because not much grows in the ashlands they have to find food elsewhere and they managed to get multiple food types out of something others wouldn’t see as such, they’re survivors, no matter the situation you put them in.”
She furrowed her brows. “I really don’t want to know what a scrib is, do I?”
“No.” Tearing a piece off his sweet roll he rolled it between his fingers. “I hope that learning more about them will help me be a better guard to them, like you said, at the very least, perhaps I’ll be a better man.”
Her smile lessened but turned more genuine. “You are a good guard.”
“I hope so, protecting everyone is why I became a guard in the first place.” Eating the bite his eyes lit up. He turned to her. “Does the Merchant Inn still make those blackberry tarts?”
“What?” She blinked, brain taking a second to keep up with the sudden topic change.
“I use to get them sometimes when I was training in the Imperial City.”
“Um…” she glanced off, thinking, before turning back to him. “I don’t know, I’ll check. If they do I’ll bring you some, unless they wouldn’t stay good… Maybe I’ll just have to bring you there,” she smirked.
“Hopefully that can be soon,” he turned back to his sweet roll.
She looked surprised. Did he mean he wanted the tarts soon or did he like her dragging him places? She looked away as she couldn’t contain the grin spreading across her face.
Turning back to him she saw he was staring at his dessert, the same awkward look as when she gave it to him. Seemed whatever had been bothering him never really went away. “What’s wrong?”
“I am grateful, truly, but since I wanted to surprise you didn’t know what I was doing and bought some too.”
“So now we have three sweet rolls,” she was confused as to how this was a problem.
“I just feel bad you had to pay for two.”
“Oh…” she glanced off with a smirk, “don’t worry about that.”
#tes oc#oblivion fanfiction#oblivion#the elder scrolls#tes#hero of kvatch#garrus darelliun#fanfiction#my writing#lecrinn#thiefguard#i don't think i like how they're talking about dunmer culture#it feels off to me#i do like the last line though#and though this scene might not be canon garrus liking ash yams is because it keeps cropping up in fics that don't get finished 😅#also when she says he's a good guard i thought it also said she looked sad because he didn't know how much that meant coming from her#but it's not there? or in my cut file? so apparently i didn't write it?#i think it would've been better with it#also their reactions to the thirty layer cake came from me reading about it on uesp and thinking the rich of cheydinhal had gone too far#and my mom pulling up a picture to show me that the layers are paper thin XD
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I know it's not guaranteed by any means, and it's common enough for reds to survive a good while after turning red, but wouldn't it be funny if Martyn were to also be the first out of the game in Secret Life? The canary curse broken by the previous winner because the Watchers are just that done with Martyn's shit by now or whatever
#also like. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't think anyone has so far managed to get a full like#first to yellow first to red and first out -series#like jimmy's the first out every time but i don't think he's ever been the first to lose each of his lives#so it'd be sorta funny from that perspective too to see martyn manage the full set y'know?#and again. i recognize it's not necessarily gonna happen. but i don't think it's that unlikely either#both from what i've observed of martyn's episodes and from what i think i've seen him say himself#i think the no heart regeneration thing is fucking him over in this one because his typical style of play is so reckless#like if you think back. in other games plenty of times he's survived shit with just a few hearts and been able to hide somewhere to heal#now those hearts are just gone until he can complete his task/unless someone gifts him (and even then they might not cover all his lost one#so like it's not guaranteed. maybe martin will now learn to be cautious because he has enough to lose#but then again it is possible that he just doesn't and has bad enough luck that he's out first#martyn inthelittlewood#trafficblr#secret life
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me playing Tears of the Kingdom: As much as I miss the champions, it makes sense they're not mentioned much. It's been a hundred years since they died. Even if they survived the Calamity, most of them would probably be dead at this point. The only exception being Mipha, who would have been the only one that would still be alive if she survived the calamity due to her age. The reason they're still remembered so much in Breath of the Wild is because the Divine Beasts, one of the last remaining connections to them, are still active and looming in Hyrule. Impa also said that their spirits feel uneasy knowing their task of defeating the Calamity wasn't done. They were at peace when the Calamity was defeated and passed on. They're not brought up from that point on because them and their era are over and can be laid to rest.
Also me playing Tears of the Kingdom: - holding back tears - Damn I miss the champions
#LIKE YEAH. I GET IT FROM A THEMATIC POINT. BUT FROM A 'SIR THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS' POINT. I AM ACHING#I love the sages in TotK! Don't get me wrong!#I mean look at my icon tee hee#But I've grown so attached to the champions their absence feels so off. I'm fifty-fifty on it#I wanna be clear: Big agree with people who say the Sheikah Shrines and tech being suddenly gone feels off#It's unexplained and feels far too significant to easily write off#I feel similar about the champions and how little they're mentioned in game#I don't think Zelda even has a single line of dialogue that mentions them.#She and Link lived through the calamity and knew them as friends#At least a tiny mention would have made sense since she does briefly talk about the Calamity with Sonia and Rauru#I guess it makes a little sense?? In regards to the developers wanting to be hush hush about BotW spoilers for newcomers#But the way they went about it is like they tried to forget it happened. It doesn't feel right.#This might also be my biased speaking cause the original sages? Cool and all#But they feel so hollow compared to the characters that the champions had#Anyways I am still VERY in love with TotK. It's consumed way too much of my time#But I also wanted to talk about this gripe dhdjfjejfjd#Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I'm sorry this is a whole wall of spilling#Anyways will I cope by remembering Age of Calamity is a thing despite how much it obliterates the timeline?#Dang right#Tears of the Kingdom#Breath of the Wild#TotK Spoilers#LoZ TotK#Loz BotW#BotW Champions#Long Post
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
nine one one? yes. i have some hall monitor looking ass on my ass cause he doesnt like it when i breathe :(
#my A-90 is a fucking prick#he might be doing his best#but his best is not good enough cause he’s a fucking asshole#punts him into the wall#maybe that will get the stick out of his ass#roblox doors#i have to say would at this point#im too far gone#NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT 🗣️🗣️💥💥‼️‼️‼️#i think im obligated to say would 💀#is that just my thing now. me smashing every entity#sighs
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
It must be the cruelest joke that if you recruit Minthara on your "good" run, she shares a tent with Halsin.
First they make it sound like his sex slavery was some fun thing in his youth and that he was the one to blame for becoming and being a sex slave.
Now this. I have no idea if that's a bug or intentional, but I dislike that very much. Maybe Larian should stop listening to every single meme they see? Like, for real? Please?
#bg3#halsin#minthara#i think this meme might have gone way too far#why are they treating my boy and his trauma like it's a joke?
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know youre a little too deep in the brainrot when "would it be fucked up to be straight in the society of Heven" is a genuine thought you have had and seriously debated with yourself
#which sounds really silly to say out loud but then the reason it might be fucked up is because the men of heven are essentially#imprisoned and brainwashed from birth so the funny haha joke gets real dark real quick#but it IS interesting to think about. i generally assume lesbians is seen as the default given the society but thats not Textual#and like. even if it is not all angels would be#and reproduction???#i want more heven lore i want to know about their society#there was some incredible set up in there with NO follow through#and that makes me sad#nyxtalks#angela#angela odinsdottir#heven#i could honestly continue on this i think the topics really interesting#could an anchorite consent? even if theyre free? could sera consent?#(i do personally believe the way seras character is written she would be the one anchorite to be able to consent. her free will is#integral to her character. its who she IS. but its still on the edge)#how would angels feel about het in general? w people from other planets?#do they have state sanctioned assault or do they reproduce a different way?#urgh#anyway u know the brain rot has gone too far now#someone please read angela so i can talk to you about the themes of fear and love and not get stuck thinking about hevens society even more
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbqh it's weird as hell to me that there's this given understanding about fictional aliens that they'd be surprised or confused by adaptability, but like, as far as we know and understand that is a fundamental quality of life itself not life on earth. In order to become a spacefaring species any spacefaring alien would've had to survive whatever space threw at them for billions of years as well as whatever their planet in specific threw at them, even the 'good' planet we know about is pretty fucking hostile to life. It's just implausible to me that like, among all the possible sapient species we'd be unique or interesting for the level to which we have the ability to adapt to situations, something that any biological creature of any origin would also need to survive long enough as a species to figure out how space works.
#I mean I also understand this is a common way to frame the mundane as interesting by stripping the normalcy of it#IDK I think the 'humans as space orcs' meta has gone too far#Like it's fine to examine humanity through that lens I think it's good to examine things like that#But then when you give that lens its own actual life you need to think a bit more for it to stay coherent#In many cases I think it completely ignores that it's making sweeping implications about non-human intelligences#In ways that just don't fucking make any sense#IMO at least#IDK I'm not positive I'm saying this in a way that makes sense but I'm right#What I'm saying is the parts of those posts that're like 'this is a neat thing about humans' are good and cool IMO#but the parts that are like 'and therefore an alien intelligence would find it impossible to comprehend' are weird and bad#Just seems like a really self-satisified way of looking at ourselves#Like you really think that no other alien species might IDK have a few instincts left over from the pre-sapience days?#They all just sprung from the stars fully formed beings of pure reason and science?#Just us we're the only cool ones in the whole fuckin galaxy huh
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
been in kinda a weird spot regards to my own art lately where nothing seems good enough or i feel like ive been on a downhill streak that ive barely touched my tablet since the year started except when its school related..,...., probably burnout from an entire year interning for animation and concept work i feel a bit lacking and falling behind wjhdhfjehd
#its not a race im aware but ive always been generally unconfident in myself its just been. especially bad lately!#been doodling here and there in sketchbooks at the very least ive gotten worse at traditional than i used to be wjdhhdhesjdhd#theres a lot of things ive yet to/really want to draw but if you dont see anything from me for weeks at a time then thats probably why 👍#duck rants about something#ive considered deleting this acc several times to be honest. though after having gone through seeing a few of my favorite works and artists#/writers do the same i was pretty torn too while im sure they had a good reason#i doubt it but that small chance someone might feel the same if i went through with it did have me reconsider#well its not gonna happen anytime soon i dont think smhfjejdjd too attached to this acc#apologies if you read this far. normal 2am thoughts
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
This might not be anything, but while writing about your fics, the way you have the characters' mannerisms down PERFECTLY got me thinking about mirroring...
There's a lot of it in 7 (Horii is a directorial genius etc etc), most of it more intentional than these probably are, but there's something so interesting about mirroring that takes the tone of a (relatively) fond memory, a familiar gesture, and inverts it in the way shown here.
OH I'M GLAD YOU'VE NOTICED THESE TOO I think I mentioned it months back (or I drafted a post 'bout it but didn't think it was anything noteworthy) but I always really did like how the Arakawa Family mimicked each other's mannerisms (also circling back to how Jo and Masato calling Ichiban 'Ichi' presumably after picking it up from Arakawa)!
Aoki actually does the same sitting gesture too! I went back to double check and skim through the rest of the game's cutscenes, and as far as I could tell unless I skipped a scene, it really is only these three that do this specific pose:
It's such a small detail but I love it immensely and it really does highlight their connections with each other and it drives me insane
#snap chats#the fact aoki holds his left fist with his right like jo..... im gonna be sick... (crying)#potential hints that aoki really does favor jo and/or spends more time with him... or i might be delirious. could be both even..#focusing on how jo mimics arakawa though i dont think i have to say i love how it is inverted intention wise#like of course in arakawa's situations he's in a position where he's helping ichi and speaking calmly with him#while with jo Evidently each interaction is more tense and antagonistic#really is a cool way to emphasize that whole 'step parent' angle if that makes sense#OH BUT THANK YOU ON MY WRITING that's a huge compliment: i'm glad you think i have their mannerisms down !#accuracy is a big thing to me... in case we haven't picked that up yet.... i should relax a little tbh--#BUT i'd like to think my brain's good at visualizing things and i think i've 'studied' enough to get an acceptable result in what i show#it's like... if i can't see it in my head clearly or it doesn't look right then i wanna keep trying until it DOES look right yk#dont want a Hello Kitty Wouldnt Do Xanax moment... only on occasion.... a lil xanax wouldnt hurt as long as its not too far gone ☠️#alright im. DELIRIOUS.#to end this off i watched the first episode of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun !#my japanese is. HORRENDOUS BUT the art of inference and context clues and stray knowledge got me through it#i'm excited to watch the next episode even if i'm only really getting half the impact from the dialogue#BUT THE FEELING'S THERE... the emotion's there#embarrassingly i almost cried when izumi was crying in the theater over her dad while she was eating cause like Girl Me Too ☠️☠️#ill go one day without mentioning my dad i promise... todays not that day tho ☠️#IN ANY CASE. thank you for droppin the episodes on me !! i can't stress never tiring of having new things to watch#ill watch the next episode tonight probably. i was gonna go out to get lunch buuuut my moms home#so there goes that plan.. at least my bro got me food while /he/ went out today lmao
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!!
This took me 9 hours lol enjoy
#art#digital art#i should not be left to my own devices#i think i have a problem#battle for bfdi#bfdi#bfdi bfb#bfb Five#five bfb#he just like me fr#algebralien#what have i done#i think i might have gone too far#they're a dragon
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
emmaaldine
"it's just me in my dreams"
granhairdo
sorry i have the emotional intelligence of a starfish
thanosyjosii
Solo tu me inquietas
generalunknownnight
ديوث