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#i simply wish to know the lore
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what if i fell head first into the mechanisms fandom. what then? haha just kidding. but what if i. what if. haha. what if
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demonforthesemen · 29 days
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Cursed Anastasia AU inspired by The Cox Chronicles, the concept of Susan being Alastor's biological grandmother, and a discussion of homeless Alastor, all of which can be found on @nunalastor's blog:
Susan is offering a huge amount of money for anyone who can find her grandson Alastor, who went missing seven years ago after an explosive fight with his boyfriend Vox (Vox isn't his boyfriend. Susan just insists on referring to him as such, much to Vox's pleasure and despite Alastor's loud protests). Charlie happens to run into an amnesiac Alastor, recognizes him from the news and the MISSING ads Rosie helped Susan put in the papers, and obviously immediately tries to call his dear grandmother. However, no one ever answers the phone (Susan is coincidentally having a war with her phone at the moment), so Charlie decides she'll just have to take Alastor to his grandmother herself! Her father Lucifer learns of this plan and tries to discourage her. When that doesn't work, he simply refuses to let her go alone.
Cue a father-daughter bonding road trip with shenanigans that include, but are not limited to: the father and the amnesiac constantly fighting (and falling in something like love), the daughter trying to explain to the amnesiac who he is despite not knowing anything really about his family or his history besides what tidbits she's heard, and several other strays (none of them amnesiacs but all with backstories they won't talk about - yet) being picked up along the way.
Somehow, that's the easy part. The hard part is convincing Susan that this is indeed her grandson and not some homeless guy with a fuck ass bob that they tried to clean up. "My Alastor may have been a rebellious scoundrel with degenerate taste in music, but he at least knew how to dress and present himself like a gentleman! If you're going to try to trick me, at least put in some effort, you miserable wretches!"
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When Eret died in their hardcore world, the world turned into a black void with endless rainfall. It felt so beautiful and poetic, and I know it was probably some glitch or something, but let’s imagine this from a character lore perspective for funzies:
If we assume c!Eret is Herobrine kin (or something of the like) in every world they inhabit, including this Hardcore World, then perhaps their death is what corrupted the world. Some fanon lore categorizes Herobrine as: “a virus that can delete or manipulate worlds”. Maybe whenever c!Eret is killed, there is catastrophic reality-shattering damage as a result. (After all, Herobrine aren’t technically supposed to exist in any world).
If we were to go a step further and connect this theory to c!Eret’s DSMP iteration, it might explain the whole “potentially immortal (?)” thing they’ve got going on. There’s certainly something strange about their relationship with life and death. We could say this is a side-effect (or even the cause) of their friendship with Foolish, a Totem of Life who was once a Totem of Death, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case.
When Eret accidentally (non-canonically) died on the DSMP recently, they said: "I never die -- I never die! That's my whole THING! I don't die and -- I died!"). From this we can posit several things: A) They’re some kind of minor god, B) They don’t die easily, or C) They cannot die because their death would break the world (and I doubt ‘ol DreamXD would be too happy about that).
Either way, there’s lots of unexplored lore potential with c!Eret’s character. Hopefully we’ll get some answers about their character’s history someday, but in the meantime, it’s fun to theorize!
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lovelyisthedawn · 2 years
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your judas and your genesis
fandom: dream smp word count: 1,729 relationship: eret & wilbur soot
“L’Manberg was gone,” says Wilbur. “So, pray tell, how was I not the one at fault for destroying it?”
“Because you didn’t destroy it,” Eret says. “You blew it up, but L’Manberg—what made it L’Manberg—survived.”
(In which one traitor tells another the story of their nation’s true end. A discussion, if you will, of Doomsday.)
read it on ao3 here!
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thedeadthree · 1 year
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ENYA HAS A LOVE INTEREST AT LAST AND THEY ARE MAKING ME CRAZY 🤍🤍
#oc: valaenya targaryen#x: valaenya x aurane#they must be appreciated 🤍😌#had to step back for a mini hiatus for a bit for health things again im so sorry ✨😖 TY TY FOR THE TAGS I CANT WAIT TO DO THEM YALL ARE DEARS#AND HE IS A VELARYON BASTARD A VELARYON ONLY THE BEST FOR THE BEST GIRL EVER!#reading into his lore kzjzjxjx i love him i love him ✨🥴#HE REALLY WAS LIKE HEY CAN I HAVE SHIPS ROYAL NAVAL SHIPS AND THEN RAN OFF AND BECAME A PIRATE THAT LITTLE SKSJJXJXJX im screaming#i am manifesting he’s the lord of the waters bc the idea i have in mind of their first meeting is just……. i love it skjzjx#my dragon girl and her pirate boyfriend sksjjxj 🌊🐉🤍#wakes up to his men yelling about a dragon seen in the skies LOSING it over purple scales (starspire) and he’s like ✨😏 oh interesting#starspire does the swanky thing she does where she positions her self in the sky wings extended suspended in the air appearing a star#before landing..! his crew was like this is where we die skxjxjjc it was simply for intimidation#I WONT SPOIL THE REST BUT she was sent by aegon vi the young griff and was also asked to look into the pirate king in the stepstones#by arianne m*artell as she wished to know who’s side he was on?#dany as well sent word to her as she’s a friend of hers as well ✨😌 she was intruiged! so she went! and the rest is history! 🤍#and who better for both of them to let them know who’s side they were on then to send a dragon rider u know?#especially one who just so happens to wield dark sister and is the sword of the morning wielding dawn ✨😵‍💫#SHES SO COOL darn me that she isn’t a canon character and i have to make the content myself ✨😒🥀❣️#im so excited for what is in store for him especially if that’s him? and who’s side he’ll be on? if he chooses a side?#though like in any side he’s on he’s head over heels for enya (AS HE SHOULDD!) so! 🥀❣️😌#D*AEMON AND IOVANNA WOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOU MY LOVE YOURE SO COOL ENYA ✨😌#the singers are already calling her to be v*isenya born again ✨😖#valaenyas allegiances are to dany and aegon and ultimately the restoration of the house ✨😌 besties with jon too!#a*urane @ enya: mark me down as scared AND into it sjxjjxjx ✨😵‍💫🥀👀🥴#leg.txt
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From one level 20 player whose final boss was Dispater to another: good luck and pray you either have a DM who edited out the magic bonk or some really good save bonuses
I-... Oh. Oh boy.
I'm afraid I probably don't have the former. In fact, my DM tends to soup up baddies on a regular basis bc high level encounter balance is fucked. We're not as mechanically broken as our sister party, who fought off a Tarrasque+ Deluxe Edition at the end of an extended arena fight in Ysgard and are gonna go kill homebrew god!Vecna later, but like, on average the baddies are boosted across the board.
Eugene does not have the other either unless it is INT and DEX. CON, WIS, and STR all have a +0 because I was new when I built him.
It’s fine… We have classes that are capable of healing in the party, like our 1.75 bards across 3 people, and the celestial warlock… It’s totally gonna be fine… We also have the power of love and a Minotaur barbarian with 315 hit points.
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chisatowo · 1 year
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Y'know one thing I find funny is that it seems like everyone else's reaction to Ena's mom in the last 25ji event was to be like omg finally a good sekai parent while mines was cool time to give Ena and Akito mommy issues too
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milf-harrington · 6 months
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i read a fic yesterday (return of the king) where Steve swapped with Eddie at the last second at the end of s4 and ended up being the one who died and had to be left behind and then he came back as a vampire and it just got my brain TICKING.
So role-reversal AU where steve is the one who comes back basically kas-ified as is the common trope with eddie, but where eddie goes to steve, steve goes to robin.
lets say, for funsies, that they managed to kill vecna and max only ended up hospitalised for a broken elbow and a twisted ankle (from falling on it), so everyone has the time and space to grieve.
Steve’s death hits Robin the hardest because he was her person. He was her i-wish-we-could-just-merge-into-one-being. Her ride or die. Her soulmate. And he’d been taken from her, torn apart and left to rot in the very world he’d tried so hard to protect her from. 
The others give her space to let her mourn quietly in her bedroom, dressed in steve’s clothes and listening to his music like if she just tried hard enough she could still merge them together and let him use her lungs to breathe, her heart to pump his blood, her head to share his thoughts. that she could single handedly go from a me to a we.
And then, one day, Robin starts acting weird. She doesn’t know the Wheeler’s phone number and on her way to find it in the phone book, she found the Munson’s first, and when Eddie picks up it’s too a very chipper Robin asking for a lift to the shops where she proceeds to buy an alarming amount of red meat and refuses to answer any questions.
And she’s just- happy. She’s weird and happy and keeps calling Eddie to ask him about Dungeons and Dragons lore and if he can take her to the library or to the butcher and if he can let her borrow his jumper please? I get cold easily. And then she just keeps stealing clothes, from everyone. Sometimes she asks, sometimes she’ll just take a jacket off of the back of a chair and act like nothing happened, sometimes she just sneaks off to go rooting through washing baskets.
Then comes the day she invites Eddie over, probably a week or so after her initial journey into Weird-Ville, nervously rambling about nothing right up until she closes the front door behind them and runs into Eddie’s back because Eddie’s just spotted Steve-fucking-Harrington peering at him from around the corner. 
Apparently, a not-exactly-dead-anymore Steve crawled through Robin’s window one night and has since taken up residence underneath her bed. 
“He was kinda- not all there, at first.” She tells him, chopping a steak into cubes and dropping them into a blender. Steve, winged and fanged and tailed, leans against the counter and watches her with sleepy eyes. “But we’ve been working on it.”
After the initial pants-shitting shock of having her dead best friend re-appear as a creature of the upside down, Robin had simply accepted it and moved on. Happy to have Steve back no matter what it looked like. 
And what it looked like was blending raw meat, and reading together in the bathroom to bring back his ability to talk, and stealing clothes for the veritable nest Steve was building in her closet. The next step in her plan to re-domesticate her best friend, had been to introduce him to another person: Eddie, evidently. 
Steve promptly spends 5 minutes being a feral little creature, scenting Eddie within an inch of his life like he’d done to Robin, and then attempting to plant him in his nest like a little ornament. 
Just. idk. feral kas!steve seeking out robin for safety, who slowly re-introduces him to his humanity and then his future boyfriend.
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beskarandblasters · 5 months
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Bluffing Season
Enemies to Lovers!Frankie Morales x F!Reader
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Main Masterlist | Frankie Morales Masterlist
Author’s note: Ya know like “cuffing season” lmao!! Thank you to @pascalispretty, @fhatbhabie, and @hyzer34 for beta reading! 🤍
Summary: Frankie Morales is your next door neighbor of the worst kind. To put it simply, you two can’t stand each other. But when his girlfriend breaks up with him right before the holidays he asks you to be his fake date for Christmas, not wanting to go home to his family single yet again. You reluctantly say yes and as you spend time with him you realize he’s not as terrible as you once thought.
Word count: 14.6k (what the fuck lol)
Warnings: reader is able-bodied, reader is a baker, two years post Triple Frontier, slow burn, enemies to lovers, fake dating, jealousy, made up lore for Frankie/his family tree, reader lowkey got mommy issues (just a shitty family in general), drinking, mentions of drugs, food/eating, Frankie describing his trauma, some Spanish used, oral sex (F receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, pet names (cariño), sort of ambiguous time skips, Frankie is either a Libra or a Scorpio!!, no use of y/n
Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics Fic recs: @kelbellsficrecs
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Late October
Beep Beep Beep
Ugh. Another shit start to your day with shit sleep as per usual. Running your own bakery means a lot of early mornings. Normally you don’t mind waking up early since you love what you do. You bought a new house on Magnolia Drive eight months ago which made your commute to the bakery much shorter. However… Your realtor neglected to tell you that it came with the worst neighbor on the face of the Earth. His name is Frankie and you can’t stand him. When you first moved in, he seemed normal, an ex-military, single guy living on his own. The deception didn’t last long, though. Because after about two weeks of living next to him, the shitstorm commenced. And now you wished you picked literally any other house in this city. His friends are at his house all the time, one of them always blocking your driveway with their pickup truck. They stay until at least four in the morning, blasting music when Frankie knows you have to work early the next day. He’s probably the worst neighbor in the entire state of Florida. 
You’re getting in your car to start your morning commute for work when Frankie is grabbing the morning paper from his mailbox. You physically recoil when you see him. There’s a harsh line of demarcation separating your lawn from his because he cuts his grass once in a blue moon. It’s such an eyesore.  
“Have you thought about, I don’t know, cutting your lawn?” you ask before shutting your car door.
He shoots you the middle finger and mouths something you can’t hear. You roll down the window for him to take a few steps closer to your car and repeat, “Stop feeding the fucking stray cats.”
Okay, maybe you aren’t the perfect neighbor either. But doesn’t he deserve it anyway?
“Bite me,” you respond, rolling your eyes and backing out of your driveway.
He rolls his eyes, too, and storms off. You giggle to yourself, feeling proud that you got a rise out of him. If he’s going to piss you off the least you could do is return the favor. 
-
Work is fine, a little busier than normal. But the afternoon exhaustion is hitting. You can’t wait to go home, take a shower, and maybe get some sleep before Frankie’s friends come over. It’s Friday and they’ll be even more unruly than they normally are during the week. Don’t they have lives? Or like… a fucking family to go home to?? Probably not if they’re hanging out with the likes of him. 
But alas, it’s finally time to go home. You close up the bakery and get in your car to drive back, excited to just melt into the couch for a few hours. As you turn onto your street you see that Frankie’s driveway is empty, for now, that is. He’s not outside, either. So that means you get to just slip inside your house without a hostile interaction for once. Score!
You pull into your driveway, get out of your car, and start walking towards your front door when a disgruntled voice stops you dead in your tracks. 
“Hey!”
Not again. 
“What do you want now?” you say, whipping around and using the bitchiest voice you can muster. 
“Cut your fucking tree,” Frankie says, holding up a lemon. 
…Is he fucking for real? 
You have a lemon tree at the edge of your backyard and a few branches hang over the fence and into Frankie’s yard. You never thought to trim it because you assumed you were doing something nice for him, letting him have some of the lemons. But no, apparently he wants to complain about free fruit. 
“You’re complaining about… free fruit?”
He stutters a bit, tripping on his words as if he just realized how stupid he sounds.
“I guess not.”
“That’s what I thought,” you say, turning and heading into your house.
The fucking nerve of that man. 
The rest of the night is pretty uneventful aside from a bitter man complaining about free fruit. You hear Frankie’s friends next door and grumble to yourself. How do they have the energy to party every single day of the week? You turn in early and do your best to ignore how loud they are, getting ready for another busy day at the bakery. Tomorrow’s Saturday, the busiest day of the week, and you need to be well rested. Well rested as you can be with all the noise from next door. 
-
The morning’s been typical so far; wake up feeling exhausted, argue with Frankie in the driveway, drive to work, open the bakery; and the usual stuff. It isn’t until halfway through your business hours that something… interesting happens. A woman enters the shop and browses the cakes in your display case. 
“I’d like to get some writing on a cake.”
“Sure! Which one would you like?”
“That one,” she says, pointing to one on the bottom, a vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream and strawberries in the middle. 
“Okay,” you say, grabbing it out of the case and taking it to your decorating table, “What would you like it to say?”
“Well, it’s for my boyfriend, Frankie so I’d like it to say “Happy birthday, Franklin” with a fish. I guess his nickname was catfish in the military.”
You know for a fact this is for Frankie because of the nickname. You’ve heard his friends screaming it next door when they’re drunk. But you also know for a fact his name is not Franklin, it’s Francisco. You didn’t have to ask him or anything, Amazon has delivered some of his packages to your house in the past by mistake. So this is fucking hilarious. 
“Any specific color for the writing?” you ask, stifling a chuckle. 
“Black is fine.”
You get to work on the writing and have mixed feelings. It’s kinda shitty that his own girlfriend doesn’t know his full name. And it’s also shitty that he’s going to have a birthday cake at his party with the wrong name on it. You should feel bad but… Nah, this guy sucks. 
You glance over at his girlfriend before moving on to the fish. Although she clearly doesn’t know her boyfriend that well at all, you can’t deny that she’s beautiful. And all of a sudden you’re feeling… jealous? Wait, why are you getting jealous of her? For a guy you can’t even stand?
You gotta finish decorating this cake and get her out of here so you can try to deal with your conflicting feelings. You package the cake back up and walk it to the counter to cash her out. 
“Okay, your total is fifty-three forty-nine. Cash or card?”
“Card,” she says, tapping it on the counter. 
The receipt prints out of the machine for her to sign but before you hand it to her you look at the name printed on the bottom; Heather Ryan. 
“Okay, just need your signature and then you’re all set!” 
She signs her name on the receipt and slides it back to you. 
“It looks great! Thank you so much!” she says before grabbing the cake and leaving. 
Now that she’s gone you can process your weird and sudden emotions. You didn’t know he had a girlfriend and to be honest, it kind of surprises you that he has one in the first place considering his… lifestyle. But why are you jealous? He’s the worst. 
Although… When you first moved in, you did think he was kinda cute before he showed his true colors. He got you with his curly brown hair peeking out underneath his hat but the attraction didn’t last long. Once his antic began, the attraction dissipated. 
…Or so you thought.
Stop it, you tell yourself. He has made your life hell for the better part of a year. 
You bury down your weird and confusing feelings for now, trying to continue the rest of the day as normal. The rest of the day is pretty uneventful and soon enough five o’clock rolls around. Just as you’re locking up the bakery, you get a text from your friend, Ally. 
Hey, bestieee!! Drinks tonight?
You know what, why not?
You respond with: 
Oooh, what time and where?
You get in your car and drive home, excited to have something to look forward to tonight. And at least you’ll be gone for some of Frankie’s antics. As you pull into your driveway you notice his friends aren’t there yet, all the better for you. You  check your phone and Ally says;
7:30. Let’s go to the Harp tonight!! I’ll meet you there. 
She’s referring to a bar downtown but to you, it honestly doesn’t matter where you go. You need to blow off some steam and work through your weird feelings with your friend, get her opinion on this random burst of jealousy you’re feeling. 
You take a shower, change into a skirt and fitted tee, and do your makeup before getting ready to leave. Just to find one of Frankie’s friends blocking your driveway, of course. Why wouldn’t they do this shit on the one night you have plans?
Nah, this isn’t going to fly. You gotta say something. You march right over to his door and judging by the noise coming from inside, his birthday party is tonight. Alright, maybe you won’t be a huge bitch about this right now. Especially when you know how his birthday cake turned out…
You knock and someone other than Frankie answers the door. You recognize him as one of Frankie’s friends but you can put a name to his face. 
“Oh, shit! Neighbor girl is here!” he says, calling out to Frankie over his shoulder. 
Before you can ask him about the truck blocking your driveway he says, “I’m Benny. Come on in!”
Yeah, he’s clearly drunk. Whatever this will be quick. You reluctantly step inside and look around. You’ve never actually been inside Frankie’s house before. It’s honestly nicer than you expected considering his lifestyle and the way he keeps his lawn. You’re standing in his living room with Frankie and three other men. You’re feeling anxious all of a sudden but you don’t show it. Who knows what Frankie said about you to these guys? 
“Look who it is, Fish!” Benny says, putting a hand on your shoulder. 
“Guys, this is my neighbor,” Frankie says. He looks a little… nervous? You’ve never seen him like this before. 
“I’m Santiago,” a man with dark hair says, shaking your hand. 
“Nice to meet you,” you say, forcing a fake smile. 
“And this is Will,” Santiago continues, gesturing to a man with short blond hair. 
“You got anyone else coming, Fish?” Santiago asks, turning towards Frankie, “What about Heather?”
“Uh, she’s not coming.”
“Shit, man. Is everything alright?”
“We’re fine. But actually, can you help me with something in the kitchen?” Frankie asks, making eye contact with you. He looks bothered, like there’s something he wants to say but isn’t letting it come out. 
“Sure,” you reply, following him to the kitchen where he opens the refrigerator. The cake is sitting on the shelf in its box and your stomach drops. Poor guy. 
He grabs the cake from the refrigerator and sets it on the kitchen counter. 
“Can you help fix this? She put the wrong name,” he says, opening the lid to reveal the cake you decorated earlier today.
“I can try. Can you get me a butter knife?”
He opens his silverware drawer and hands you a knife. 
“Well, I think I can smear out the name and make a swirly pattern around the happy birthday?”
“Whatever you have to do,” he says softly. 
You take the knife and swipe away the “Franklin”, making a tie-dye design on the cake but stopping at the fish.
“You want me to leave the fish?”
“Nah, scrap it. Catfish is pretty much the only thing she knew about me anyway,” he says dejectedly.
“Right…” you respond awkwardly, swiping away your hard work from earlier. You can only assume he doesn’t know this birthday cake is from your bakery. But you fix the cake the best you can so it just says “Happy Birthday” with a swirly design. 
“That better?” 
“Yes. Thank you,” he says, letting out a sigh, “I just didn’t want them to see it.”
“I get that-”
“Let’s get this fucking party started!” Benny says, entering the kitchen and slamming a six-pack of beer on the counter. 
“Oh, actually I have to go-” you start. 
“What?? No way, you gotta stay,” Benny says, putting an arm around your shoulders. 
You could stay and just cancel your plans with Ally. But this is Frankie’s birthday party and you weren’t exactly invited. And you’re both aware of how much you painfully dislike each other. You look at Frankie, searching his eyes for an indication of how he’s feeling. 
“You’re more than welcome to join us,” he says softly. 
“Are you sure? I don’t wanna impose.”
“Nooo, stay,” Benny says, looking at you with a wide grin on his face. 
“By all means,” Frankie says. 
“Fuck yeah,” Benny says, “Can I get you a drink? We have all sorts of shit.”
“Hard cider?”
“A woman with taste. I like it,” he says, removing the arm around your shoulders and opening the refrigerator. 
You pull out your phone to text Ally. It has to be something inconspicuous. She knows you hate Frankie with a passion so you can’t exactly say you’re partying with him and his friends right now. Maybe just lie and say you’re sick? 
You do exactly that, saying your stomach is bothering you. Just as you press send, Benny’s hanging you your hard cider. And now it’s just the three of you in Frankie’s kitchen, standing around awkwardly. 
“I have some of the MMA guys coming, too. That alright?” Benny says. 
“Fine with me. The more the merrier,” Frankie smiles. But the smile seems forced. 
Just Frankie says that there’s a knock on the door and it’s the guys Benny was referring to. A handful of men pile into Frankie’s living room with Will and Santiago, and now you’re the only girl here. And also sort of regretting your decision to cancel on Ally. 
“Let me introduce to you some of my friends!” Benny says cheerfully, grabbing your hand and leading you back to the living room. You exchange hello’s with Benny’s friends, a group of four guys whose names you can’t really be bothered to remember. 
Soon enough the folding table is pulled out and all of the guys are playing beer pong. You decide to just stand and watch, sipping your drink and keeping to yourself… except for Benny, who has been by your side all night. At first, it was kind of annoying but now that you’re talking to him he’s actually pretty cute. Or it’s just the alcohol talking. 
“Can I get you another drink?” he asks when yours is empty. 
“Sure,” you smile, handing the empty bottle to him. 
Now that you’re alone for a moment your eyes are scanning the room again, and they lock eyes with Frankie, who’s playing beer pong but not really paying attention. Benny comes back with your drink, handing it to you and leaning against the wall with his arm raised over his head. 
“Frankie never mentioned just how gorgeous you are.”
“Oh! Thank you,” you respond, caught you off guard. You’re feeling awkward, not knowing what to say back so your eyes are searching the room again. And once again, they lock with Frankie’s, whose eyes are… angry? But why is he angry? Is he… jealous? Nah, no way. He has a girlfriend. But she’s also proved herself to be shitty. And besides that, you two hate each other. Unless… you really don’t?
You decide to do a little experiment. Benny is super hot, but maybe you could turn up the flirting a bit and see just how jealous Frankie gets. 
And that’s exactly what you do. You’re laughing at all Benny’s jokes, falling for every cheesy pickup line, doing the thing where you look from his eyes, down to his lips, and back up to his eyes, literally anything to flirt. And even though it’s for an experiment, you’re having fun and you could actually see yourself maybe liking Benny.
You look over at Frankie, and to your surprise (and also delight?), he’s looking directly at you. His eyes are almost pleading with you. But at the end of the day, you don’t owe him anything. And he’s taken. So why stop all the fun?
“I just can’t believe this is the first time we’re meeting,” Benny says, shaking his head.
“I didn’t know Frankie had such nice friends!” you respond. 
Benny leans a little closer to you, his eyes fixed on your lips. Oh shit, is he really gonna kiss you? Right here? Right now? In front of everyone? 
But also… why not? 
You lean forward more too, inching closer and closing the gap between you two. Just as your lips are about to meet, Santiago shouts, “Jesus, Fish! What are you doing?!” 
You pull away from each other and look at what’s going on. It seems that Frankie royally screwed up the round of beer pong because he and Santiago just lost. 
“Alright, alright. Don’t yell at the birthday boy,” Will laughs. 
Santiago sighs and says, “Best two out of three?”
The other men shrug but Frankie excuses himself, saying, “I need another drink.”
You can’t help but feel like that was your fault. Shit, maybe Frankie does have some sort of crush on you? Because why else would he get jealous over his friend flirting with you? Wouldn’t he want that to happen, as a means of burying the hatchet between you two?
“I have to use the bathroom,” you say to Benny. 
“Down the hall on your right,” he says.
You set your drink down on the coffee table and walk through the kitchen, but before you head to the bathroom you take a look at Frankie, who’s sipping a beer and looking at his birthday cake. A look of confusion and uncertainty on his face. You just can’t help but feel bad for him in some sort of weird way. But there’s also a nagging feeling deep down inside you that’s telling you that you shouldn’t feel bad for him. This guy has been nothing but a complete asshole to you. Why do you care so much about his feelings? 
You head down to the bathroom and pull out your phone. There’s a text from Ally and thankfully she wasn’t upset about the plans getting canceled. But you look at the time and decide, you should just go home. Besides, it’s getting a little boring watching the men play beer pong and you’re running out of things to talk about with Benny. 
You head back into the living room and say to Benny, “I think I’m gonna head home.”
“Aw, okay. I’ll catch you later. But maybe you can come to one of my matches sometime?”
“I’d like that,” you smile. 
You poke your head into the kitchen and tell Frankie you’re leaving.
“Happy birthday by the way,” you say. 
He nods and waves his hand a little before you bid your goodbyes to everyone else and walk next door. And the only thought on your mind is… What the hell just happened?
You flop down on your couch and the room feels like it’s spinning, your mind swirling with all sorts of thoughts and emotions. You’re feeling a weird mix of confusion, pity, and also… apathy? You run through the basics: 
1. Frankie’s girlfriend sucks. 
2. It’s shitty that his birthday cake was messed up. 
3. You really don’t mind Benny at all and can see yourself liking him. 
4. At the end of the day, Frankie is still an asshole. 
And that trumps everything else, no matter how bad you feel for him. 
-
Mid-December 
Several weeks have gone by and you haven’t seen much of Frankie, or his friends for that matter. Lately, it feels like you've been living at the bakery twenty-four-seven. Especially since Thanksgiving just ended. But that also means you’re heading into another busy season; Christmas time. 
The holidays are your least favorite time of year. But running your own bakery means that you get to keep busy during the holidays. It’s always the perfect excuse for when your mother calls and asks why you’re not coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. You can usually get out of one and not the other. This year you skipped Thanksgiving so you’ll be due home for Christmas… unless you can think of another excuse to stay home again. But then you’ll get another phone call from your father claiming that “you’re breaking your mother’s heart” or whatever. 
From what you can tell, Frankie stayed home for Thanksgiving, too. Though you don’t know if his family is around here or not. His friends didn’t come over for Thanksgiving so you assume they were with their own families respectively. And you’re not really sure what happened with his girlfriend. So the two of you were just… alone that day. For some reason, the thought makes you kind of… sad? But like you told yourself weeks ago, don’t feel bad for Frankie, like at all. 
But now that you’re thinking of Frankie… he’s been his typical self, but maybe scaled back a bit? His lawn hasn’t been cut in God knows how long and his friends still come over to party here and there. But it’s definitely been a lot less than usual. Maybe the holidays are tough for him, too. 
Just as you’re leaving to go open the bakery the week before Christmas, you get a phone call from your mom. You sigh and roll your eyes because you already know what this is about. And you’ve been dreading this phone call since Thanksgiving. 
“Yes, mom?” you say as you answer the phone. 
“Is that any way to answer a phone call from your mother?” she says. God, you can already feel the judgment and disappointment seeping from her voice, even over the phone. 
“Ah, sorry Mom. How are you?”
“I’m just calling to see if we can expect you home for Christmas this year.”
“Uhh-”
“You know, since you broke your mother’s heart and didn’t come home for Thanksgiving.”
“I think.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, I’ve just been really busy, uh, with the bakery and all.”
“That’s always the excuse. I’m getting sick of your shit. I need a straight answer as to whether or not you’ll be home for Christmas now.”
As you open your mouth to respond, probably with some poorly thought-out rebuttal since you’re so heated, you spot Frankie walking across his lawn toward you. Perfect escape from this phone call maybe?
“Shit sorry Mom. Gotta go. My neighbor’s coming up to me.”
As you pull the phone away from your ear and hang up, you hear your mom’s angry protests. But you’re too focused on Frankie to care. Because what could he want with you now? You haven’t done anything to piss him off lately. That you can remember anyway… 
“Hey,” he says with a shaky breath.
“Hi,” you say awkwardly.
“I need to ask you for a favor.”
“Okay…”
“Feel free to say no because it’s weird but I don’t know what else to do. And I’m sorry to drop this on you but-”
“Spit it out.”
“Will you come home with me for Christmas as my date? It would be fake, of course.”
Oh. You definitely weren’t expecting that to be the favor he needed. And for some reason him adding in “it would be fake, of course” is so funny. It’s so funny that you actually burst out into a fit of laughter. 
“What’s so funny?”
“You’re not being serious.”
“I am.”
“But… why?”
“My girlfriend broke up with me right before Thanksgiving.”
“Let me get this straight. She put the wrong name on your birthday cake and you let her break up with you first?”
“It’s not funny.”
“I know it’s not.”
“So, you’ll help me?”
“Why can’t you just go home alone?”
“Because I can’t go home for another holiday alone. I already skipped Thanksgiving. My family’s always pestering me about settling down and I can’t take it anymore.”
“What’s in it for me?” you sigh. 
“Uh, you don’t have to go home to your shitty family? I mean I’m just assuming from that phone call you just had.”
“Yeah and instead I get to go home to yours?”
“My family’s not shitty. They’re nothing like me.”
You can’t lie to yourself and say that the offer isn’t tempting. Because as soon as you mention the word “boyfriend” to your mother she’ll be all over it. Like Frankie’s family, your mom’s been pestering you to settle down, too. If you offer her some sort of crumb to give her the indication that you’re finally “settling down” maybe she’ll leave you alone for once. 
“Just think about it,” Frankie says while you’re contemplating his offer to himself. 
He turns to walk back to his house but you stop him before he goes anywhere.
“Wait!”
He turns around to face you again with a hopeful look in his eye. You can’t believe you’re actually agreeing to this.
“Fine.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” you sigh, “I guess it beats going home to my family.”
“Thank you,” he says, pulling you in for a hug.
“Alright, the fake relationship hasn’t started yet,” you say, wincing at his embrace.
“Shit, you’re right,” he says, pulling away.
“How long are we there?”
“From the twenty-third until New Year’s. That okay with you? I know you have the bakery and all…”
It’s a little earlier than you prefer to close and it’s quite a long time to be gone but you suppose you can make do. Maybe you can catch a short flight home if you need to be back to the bakery by then?
“Yeah, fine with me. Where does your family live?”
“Savannah, Georgia.”
Oof, five hours in Frankie’s truck, just the two of you… But it’s worth it.
“Okay,” you sigh. 
“Great. Thank you so much. We’ll leave around ten, okay?”
“Alright. Sounds like a plan.”
“Oh, one more thing. Can you bake something?”
You let out a sigh. “Yeah, sure. I’ll think of what to make.”
“Thanks again,” he says, putting his hands together like he’s praying before turning and walking back to his house. You’re left in your driveway questioning all your life choices that led up to this moment. But now you get to call your mom and tell her about this mysterious boyfriend you just happened upon. 
You get in the car to leave for work and call your mom again, making sure to act a bit more pleasant this time. 
“Hello?”
“Hey, mom,” you say, putting on your cheeriest voice.
“What happened with your neighbor?”
“Oh, nothing. He just had a package for me. Got delivered to his house by accident.”
“Oh, okay. So are you coming home for Christmas or what?”
“Actually, I’m not. I’m sorry. But I have a good reason?”
“And that is?”
“I’m going to my boyfriend’s family’s Christmas.”
“Boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”
“Uhh, it’s sort of new.”
“What’s his name?”
“Frankie.”
“Well, don’t fuck this one up. I want to meet him after Christmas, okay?”
Classic mom. She always has to make this about how much you suck.
“Of course. I’ll talk to you later, though. I gotta go open up the bakery.”
“Alright. Love you, bye.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
That’s the best phone call you’ve had with your mom in a while. Maybe pretending to date Frankie will be a good thing?
-
It’s time to go. You're dressed in a comfy outfit for the drive. Everything’s packed and ready to go. You decided to make lemon bars from the lemon tree in your backyard. They’re packed away neatly in your to-go container. You head outside with all of your bags and Frankie meets you in your hard to help you. 
“Jesus, did you pack the kitchen sink, too?”
“Wow, you’re so funny,” you say, rolling your eyes. 
You’re already questioning why you said yes to this. But then your mother’s nagging voice is deep in the back of your mind. 
It’s better than going home, you tell yourself.
You get into the passenger seat and Frankie backs out of the driveway. You look at his lawn out the window as you leave. Still not cut, of course. 
For the first thirty minutes of the drive, it’s painfully silent. Until Frankie says, “You let me know if you need to stop to pee or something.”
“Okay…” you say awkwardly.
Another fifteen minutes goes by and he breaks the silence again. 
“You know, if we want to sell this we have to act like a real couple.”
You were dreading this conversation.
“Yeah…”
“For one, we’ll probably gonna be sharing a bed.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And we have to act like we somewhat like each other when we’re not alone.”
“I know,” you sigh.
“Think you can do that?”
“I said yes to this, didn’t I?”
“Right…”
You can’t sit through another uncomfortable silence again. You’ve still got like four more hours of this drive to go. 
“I guess we have to get to know each other.”
“Right. So what do you do? Oh fuck, I know you have the bakery but I meant tell me about it.”
“Uhh, right. I opened it four years ago. I just make desserts, like pastries and shit.”
“Gotcha.”
“What about you?”
“I used to be in the Army, specifically the Delta Force.”
“Oh, wow. How long were you in the Army?”
“I joined right after I got out of high school.”
“Long time,” you comment, “When did you leave?”
“About three years ago. I was just a pilot for a while.”
“Gotcha. What do you do now?”
“Not much. I’ve been living off my pension for the past two years after some shit happened.”
“We don’t have to talk about-”
“Our friend passed.”
“Oh, Frankie. I’m sorry.”
He says nothing more and you’re so curious for more information but you don’t want to pry either. It falls silent again and then you decide to pry for more information about a less heavy topic. 
“So… if you don’t mind me asking, what happened with your girlfriend?”
“She broke up with me two days before Thanksgiving.”
“That’s rough. What did you tell your family?”
“I pretended I was sick.”
“I’m sorry, Frankie.”
“Don’t be. I probably should’ve ended things a while ago. I don’t think she had any idea about who I really am.”
“Right.”
“She didn’t even know my full name.”
The cake that you made. 
“Yeah…”
“She put the wrong name and didn’t even get a cake I like.”
“About that.”
“Hm?”
“Do you know where she got that cake from?”
“No.”
“She came to my store.”
“…Did you know it was the wrong name?”
“Well yes, but what was I supposed to say? She’s the customer. I can't correct her. I just have to write what she ordered.”
“I know…” he sighs. 
“Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that she was the wrong person for you, okay?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I felt bad making it.”
“You did?”
“I mean, it’s kinda shitty if your girlfriend doesn’t know your name, right?” You chuckle. 
“Right again,” he nods, looking over at you from the driver's seat. 
“So what kind of cake do you like then?” you ask. 
“Chocolate. I’m a simple guy.”
“Noted. So now I know Frankie Morales used to be in the Army, used to be a pilot, and likes chocolate cake. Anything else I need to know?”
“That about sums me up I guess.”
“Oh, come on! There’s more to you than that. What do you like to do for fun? Besides partying.”
“Oh, uh, I like to play poker with my friends. I’m into cars. And we’ll go support Benny at some of his matches. That’s pretty much all I do these days.”
“And also not cutting your lawn.”
“Listen-”
“And complaining about free fruit,” you tease. 
“Alright, alright. I know I haven’t been the best neighbor in the past.”
“Uh-huh,” you say sarcastically. 
“I guess after what happened I went down a spiral. And I was just… selfish for a while. Only caring about what I wanted to do and not thinking how it affects others.”
“That’s fair. You went through something traumatic.”
He opens his mouth to say something else but no words come out. It feels like he’s hiding something or not telling the full truth. And he wants to tell you, but he feels just can’t, that you’re not ready for that just yet. 
It’s silent again and this time you find yourself dozing off with your cheek pressed up against the cool glass window. Somehow you’re able to fall asleep to Frankie’s music that he put on to fill the silence. You recognize it’s a Tom Petty song, but as you’re trying to put your finger on just what song it is, sleep fully overtakes you. 
-
You were only out for about an hour and a half. It’s hard to sleep for long periods in a truck. As you open your eyes and stretch a little, Frankie says, “Wake up, sleepyhead. You’re officially the worst co-pilot in the world.”
“Whatever,” you say sarcastically, also while stifling back a yawn. 
“I’m just teasing. You can go back to sleep if you want.”
“It’s fine. I probably shouldn’t sleep for too long anyway. It’ll mess up my sleep schedule.”
“Oof, my sleep schedule is pretty fucked up.”
You glare at him from the passenger seat. But he doesn’t get why, looking at you and going “What?” with a shrug.
“I noticed,” you say coldly. 
Everyone knows the best time to air your grievances with each other is when you’re trapped in a moving vehicle together!
“Okay… Why do you seem mad?”
“You and your friends are just… loud.”
“Oh.”
“And I have to be up early in the mornings to open the store.”
“Oh,” he says again like the realization is hitting him. 
“It’s alright…” you say awkwardly, even though it’s not. 
“It’s not alright. I wasn’t being considerate.”
“I know, but I didn’t say anything either.”
“You sure said something about my lawn,” he teases. 
“Because it’s a fucking eyesore, Francisco!”
“Be honest. You just wanted to see me mowing the lawn with my shirt off.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t lie! I saw the way you looked at me when you first moved in.”
“Oh, shut up!” you say, playfully slapping him on the arm. 
“You’re not denying it,” he says with a smirk.
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Maybe I thought you were cute when I first moved in. Didn’t last long, though.”
“I know,” he sighs, “I’m trying to be better. Ironically enough I think Heather dumping me was what I needed.”
“I think so, too.”
Before either of you can say anything else, Frankie’s passing a sign indicating there’s a rest stop ahead. 
“Can we stop? I have to pee,” you say. 
“Sure thing,” he says, pulling off the highway and into the rest stop parking lot. 
“Meet you back here?” you say, opening the door. 
“I’ll go with you. All sorts of seedy characters hang out at rest stops,” he says, getting out of the car and walking around to your side. 
He helps you get out of the truck and walks inside with you, placing a hand on the small on your back as you cross the parking lot. His head’s in a constant swivel, eyes scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble. 
“I think I’ll take it from here,” you say, stopping in front of the women’s restroom. 
“I’ll be waiting here,” he nods. 
You nod back and look at what he’s wearing; a burgundy t-shirt with a black zip-up sweatshirt, gray sweatpants, and of course the Standard Oil cap. Now that you’re starting to see Frankie for who he really is… you don’t mind him at all? Seven months ago you never thought this would’ve happened, that you’d actually be civil with him. Maybe you just had to give him a chance. 
You do your business and walk back out to the lobby to meet Frankie. He’s on high alert, standing stiff as a board and taking in all of his surroundings. Until he sees you and his face lights up. 
“I got us some stuff for the road!” he says cheerfully, holding up a plastic bag. 
You look inside the bag and “some stuff” was an understatement. It looks like Frankie bought out the entire store. There are bottles of water, soda, different kinds of chips, candy, and gum- you name it, he bought it. 
“I wasn’t sure what you liked. So I just got a few different things,” he says, most likely noticing how wide your eyes got. 
“Thanks, Frankie. That was sweet of you.”
“Do you need anything else before we get back on the road?”
“I think I’m all set,” you nod. 
You walk back to the truck with him and he does the same thing he did before, placing a hand on your back as you cross the parking lot. He opens your door for you and you take the bag from him once you’re settled in your seat. He gets back into the driver seat and soon enough, you’re back on the road.
“So I should probably prepare you for meeting my family,” he says, reaching for a Slim Jim in the bag. 
“Oh god, why?” 
“They’re not bad. They’re just… a lot? But they mean well.”
“Okay.”
“So you have my mother, Rosa, and my father Francisco Sr. But he passed away when I was twenty.”
“I’m sorry, Frankie.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I have three older sisters.”
“You’re the baby of the family?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing. It just tracks.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment, thanks. My sisters are Ria, Isabel, and Laura. Ria is married to Emmanuel and they have two kids, Luna and Camila. They’re college-aged. And then Isabel is with her wife, Aurora.”
“Okay,” you respond, mentally trying to keep track of all this. 
“And then Laura is married to Rafael and they have three kids, Sofia, Anthony, and Marcelo. Sofia is twelve. I think Anthony’s nine or ten. And Marcelo is four. He’s my favorite.”
“Frankie! You’re not supposed to have favorites.”
“It’s not like I tell them that. I also have two aunts, Aunt Linda and Aunt Maggie. They’re my mother’s sisters. And then my Uncle Tommy, he’s my dad’s brother. And then there’s Cousin Ben, he’s Tommy’s son, around my age.”
You’re doing mental gymnastics, trying to memorize everyone’s names, ages, and who they’re married to. 
“Got all that?” Frankie says with a smirk, noticing the puzzled expression on your face. 
“I think so?”
“Don’t worry. Everyone will introduce themselves when we get there. They’re not gonna leave you alone so sorry about that in advance.”
“It’s alright. It beats going home to my family.”
“What are they like? I’m assuming they’re… not good if you don’t want to go home for the holidays.”
“Yeah, you’ve got it pretty much. My mom is super overbearing and nitpicking. I can’t do anything, or wear anything, or even say anything without her giving her two cents. My dad just sits there and lets her spew her bullshit without a filter. And then my younger sister, Erica, is just… perfect. She can’t do anything wrong in their eyes.”
“That sounds tough.”
“It is. I stopped going home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I try to just do one each year but I can’t take it anymore.” 
“I understand,” Frankie says softly. 
“My sister’s in medical school to be a cardiologist. So to my parents, running a bakery just doesn’t compare.”
“That’s stupid. Don’t they know how hard it is to run your own business?”
“No, and they probably don’t care to be honest.” 
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s alright. Thanks for getting me a way out of Christmas this year, though.”
“Of course. You’re doing me a big favor.”
The rest of the drive goes smoothly and eventually, you’re pulling into Frankie’s parents' house in Savannah. The second Frankie’s truck is in the driveway, an older woman, probably his mother, is running out of the front door and into the driveway. He parks the truck and you get out to meet her. She immediately pulls Frankie into a big hug. 
“My baby’s home!!,” she says, embracing him and placing her hands on the back of his head. 
“You and that damn hat,” she says, “You have such beautiful hair, mijo. Why do you hide it?”
“You know I like the hat, Ma.”
She pulls away and her eyes are immediately on you. You’re nervous about her first impression of you, even though you’re not even Frankie’s girlfriend. But she thinks you are and you need to play the part. 
“It’s so nice to meet you!” she says, pulling into a hug, too. She gives the best hugs, rubbing your back and swaying just a little, even though you just met. 
“I want you to be comfortable here, okay? My house is your house,” she says, pulling back and grabbing your hands. 
“Thank you so much for having me in your home, Mrs. Morales,” you smile. 
“Please! Call me Rosa. Let Francisco get the bags and we’ll go inside, yeah?”
“Okay,” you nod, following her inside the house. 
It’s a beautiful home, decorated to the nines with the Christmas spirit. She leads you to her living film where there are pictures of everyone Frankie mentioned on the way here. On the coffee table, there’s one of Frankie’s parents with him and his sisters. You can really see the resemblance there between him and his mom. They have the same warm brown eyes and dimples. 
“You have a beautiful home, Rosa,” you tell her, sitting on the couch next to her. 
“Thank you, honey,” she says, “Tell me about yourself. It’s so hard to get Francisco on the phone these days. I feel like I know nothing about you.”
“I live in Tampa like Frankie. We don’t live too far from each other And I run a bakery.”
“Wow, good for you. It’s hard running your own business. Your parents must be very proud.”
“They are,” you say, lying through your teeth. 
“How has my son been? He’s been a little off since he lost Tom in Colombia two years ago. He’s not doing drugs again, is he?”
“Oh! No, to my knowledge, he isn’t?” you respond, stumbling over your words. That was a lot of information to take in, most of it Frankie hasn’t told you about yet. 
“That’s good,” she sighs, “I worry about him.”
“I get it. But I think he’s on an upward trajectory.”
“Thank you, honey. I know he’s a lot to put up with.”
Frankie meets you in the living room and plops down on an armchair across from the couch, letting out an exasperated sigh. 
“Tired?” you chuckle. 
“Yeah,” he pants, “Someone had to pack everything they own and the kitchen sink, too.”
“Francisco! You grew up with all women. Don’t you know this is how we are?” his mother says. 
“Yeah, Frankie,” you add sarcastically. 
“You two are gonna be the death of me,” he says, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes. 
“Where did you put the lemon bars?”
“In the refrigerator.”
“You made lemon bars? Francisco told me you liked to bake.”
“Yeah!” you say, turning towards her again, “I didn’t want to come empty-handed.”
“Why don’t you both help me prepare dinner for tomorrow night? After you rest, of course. You had a long drive.”
“Oh, yeah. I need a nap,” Frankie says, getting up from the chair and heading up the stairs. 
“Get some rest, honey,” she says, gesturing towards the stairs. 
“Okay,” you say, feeling a little awkward that you’re supposed to just go lay in a bed with Frankie. 
Frankie’s waiting for you at the top of the stairs, smiling down at you. For some reason the sight makes your heart skip a beat. You meet him upstairs and he leads you to his childhood bedroom. His walls are blue and his bookshelves are filled with baseball trophies from when he was a kid up until high school. There are a few car posters scattered on his ealls. The bags are at the foot of his bed that’s tucked away in the corner of his room and thankfully, it’s not a twin-sized bed. Across the room is his desk, a few comic books stacked in a messy pile like he never left. 
“This is my room,” he says, gesturing vaguely to the space around him. 
“Cute,” you say, walking around and eyeing some of the stuff he has on his shelves. There’s a picture in a frame of Frankie as a kid with presumably his father right after one of his baseball games. He was a cute kid, wearing a toothy grin with some holes for the baby teeth he lost. 
“That’s my dad,” he says, noticing you looking at the picture. 
“Now that I’m looking at him, I can’t tell who you look like more,” you comment. 
“Definitely my dad,” he says. 
You turn to look at him and realize he’s right. A lot of his facial features match his father’s, but his eyes- those are his mother’s. 
“Are you tired?” he asks. 
“A little,” you yawn. 
“I don’t have to sleep in bed with you,” he says quickly. 
“I thought you said we were going to? You know, to keep up appearances or something,” you say, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. 
“Oh, right. Just making sure.”
He takes off his sweatshirt and his hat, his curls matted down from wearing it on his head all day. He sets them down on the desk and walks over to the bed, pulling back the comforter and slipping in between the sheets. He moves to the side closest to the wall, letting you have the outside and the wall with the outlet to charge your phone like a true gentleman. You crawl in beside him, lying down side by side, mere inches from each other. 
“You don’t sleep naked, do you?”
He doesn’t say anything at first and you take that as a yes. 
“…I won’t while we’re home.”
“Cool,” you say awkwardly, rolling on your side and closing your eyes. 
“Goodnight?” he says. 
“It’s just a nap, but sure. Goodnight, Frankie,” you chuckle. 
…You do your best to fall asleep but to be honest, you’re freezing. You don’t really get why. You’re only a few hours north and Georgia doesn’t typically get too cold. Unless his mom has the air on or a window open; something. That doesn’t make sense, though. Don’t elderly people keep their houses entirely too hot?
“You’re shivering,” Frankie says, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
“What? No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. I can see you shaking.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t have to be cold.”
“What’s your solution then?”
“I could tell my mom to adjust the-”
“No, do not do that.”
“Or there’s the other option.”
“Uh huh…”
“I could hold you.”
“…You don’t have to.”
“I don’t mind.”
“…Fine.”
You feel him scooch closer to you and all of a sudden his warm chest is pressed up against your back. The comforter lifts for a second before his muscular arm wraps around you, pulling you even closer towards him. You’re immediately feeling warmer. He’s like a human space heater or something. 
“Better?”
“Y-Yeah. Thank you.”
As much as you hate to admit it, you’re much more comfortable now. However, there is one thing that’s keeping you from falling asleep. And that’s Frankie’s bulge presses right up against your ass. 
…You don’t hate it, though. If anything it makes you feel… good? Knowing that you have that effect on him. Maybe he really was jealous weeks ago at his birthday party. All of this begs the question; when did his feelings for you begin?
Lost in thought and enveloped in Frankie’s body heat, you drift off to sleep. 
-
You wake up an hour or so later to the doorbell ringing. Frankie wakes up, too, stretching and removing the arm that was slung over your waist. You already miss its absence. 
Frankie’s mom is talking to someone at the door. And it sounds like she’s talking to… a pizza delivery guy?
Frankie rolls onto his back, stretching again and yawning. You fall onto your back, too, lying side by side. 
“I think she ordered pizza,” Frankie says sleepily. 
“That was nice of her.”
“Just so we don’t have to worry about making dinner tonight while we prepare tomorrow’s.”
“Make sense,” you reply, rolling out of bed and stretching once your feet hit the floor. 
“Did you sleep well?” Frankie asks, sitting at the edge. 
“I did. Thanks for keeping me warm.”
“You’re welcome but it wasn’t all for you, though.”
“Oh?” you ask, wondering if he could be referring to the hard-on he had while holding you…
“Yeah, I can’t sleep next to you if you’re shaking like a leaf.”
You roll your eyes and he chuckles, leading you down the hallway and down the stairs, straight into the kitchen where the pizza awaits. 
“Dinner’s here!” Rosa says cheerfully, gesturing to the pizza boxes on the counter, “There’s a salad and garlic bread, too.”
“Thanks, Ma,” Frankie says, grabbing a plate from the cabinet and handing it to you.
“Thank you,” you say, “Are you sure you don’t want anything towards it?”
“Nonsense! When you’re in my house, I take care of you,” she says, waving you off. 
A saint of a woman she is. Frankie’s lucky to have a mother like her. The three of you sit at the kitchen counter eating while Rosa talks about what Christmas Eve dinner will be. 
“So tonight we’ll prepare the pasteles. And tomorrow we’ll do the rice and beans. Ria is bringing rolls. Laura’s bringing salad. And Isabel’s bringing flan.”
“Ooh, I love flan. I can make gingerbread cookies for Christmas Day, too,” you say, finishing your slice of pizza. 
“Thank you, honey. We’ll have a great time tomorrow. And you’ll get to meet all of Frankie’s sisters.”
“How exciting,” you say looking over at Frankie. 
“Frankie’s the baby of the family,” his mother says. 
“I could tell,” you snicker.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“You just have little brother energy,” you shrug.
“What about you, dear?” his mom asks. 
“It’s just me and my sister. I’m the oldest.”
“Well you have older sister energy, so how about that?”
“So I’m wiser and more responsible?”
“Whatever,” Frankie sighs. 
“It’s true, Francisco. You can ask Ria.”
“Oh yeah, I’ll get right on that,” he says sarcastically, taking all your plates to the sink. 
You clean up from dinner with Frankie before preparing the pasteles. You’re standing at the kitchen island, stuffing the pasteles and listening to Rosa tell stories about Frankie when he was a kid. 
“He was my toughest kid to potty train,” she says, shaking her head. 
“Mom!” Frankie says, shooting daggers at her with his glare. 
“What? You were. And I have the pictures to prove it. For the first two years, you would only use the training potty. I’ll bring out the photo albums tomorrow.”
“No,” Frankie says quickly. 
“Oh yes,” you laugh. 
“Ughhh,” Frankie sighs while you and Rosa share a laugh. 
Soon enough all of the pasteles are prepped for tomorrow and the kitchen is clean again.
“Thank you both for helping me. Now get some sleep! You’ll need all the energy you can get to deal with this family.”
“Goodnight, Ma,” Frankie says, heading towards the stairs. 
“Goodnight. Thank you again for everything,” you say to her. 
“Of course, honey. See you in the morning!” she says. 
As you’re heading up the stairs, she calls out to Frankie, “Francisco! Make sure you show her where the fresh towels are!”
“I will, Ma,” Frankie says, calling down the stairwell. 
“You want to shower?”
Before you can respond he quickly adds, “Not with me of course.”
“I know,” you snort, “But sure. Where’s the bathroom?”
He leads you down the hallway and stops at a door on the right, opening to reveal a linen closet. 
“Towels are here. Bathroom’s over here,” he says, pointing to a door directly across from the linen closet. 
“Thanks,” you tell him, grabbing a towel and heading to the shower. You shut the door behind you and now that you’re alone for once, you let your mind wander…
What happened in Colombia? And what sort of drugs was Frankie on?
You turn on the shower and strip, letting the hot water run down your body as you think about all the possibilities. He did say he lost a friend. Maybe that’s what happened in Colombia. But that doesn’t explain the drugs. 
A knock on the door brings you back to reality. 
“Can I come in?” Frankie asks. 
“Uhh-”
“I just have to brush my teeth. I won’t look.”
“I guess.”
He opens the door and enters the bathroom, keeping his word and looking away from the shower curtain. In fact, he looks at anything else in the bathroom but the shower curtain, picking up a bottle of Tylenol from the medicine cabinet and reading the warnings. You poke your head out of the shower, watching as he brushes his teeth and reads the label on the bottle. And there’s something so… cute about it, so endearing. And now that you think about it, you wouldn’t particularly mind if he saw you in the shower. You can’t believe you’re actually admitting this to yourself. 
But before you know it he spits the sink and rinses his mouth, exiting the bathroom and leaving you with your confusing feelings yet again. You finish your shower and dry off, thinking about his mysterious past again. All of this strange information begs the question… What was he doing in Colombia in the first place? Does he have some dark secrets he’s hiding? And if so, how could he be so cute? 
You look at the toilet and see that Frankie also brought you your pajamas, flannel Christmas pants, a short-sleeved shirt, and a pair of lacy underwear…
That means he went through your bag, which should make you mad but the fact he decided to bring you your pajamas so you didn’t have to walk down the cold hallway sopping wet is adorable. 
You’ll ask him about his past later you decide. For now, he’s your cute pretend boyfriend and you’re going to live in that fantasy for a while. 
Once you’re dry and dressed, you hang your towel up on a hook and walk back to Frankie’s room, where he’s tucked into bed waiting for you. You crawl into bed beside him, lying down on your side and feeling his warm embrace again. His arm returns around your waist and soon enough you’re falling asleep, comforted by his warmth and his scent. 
-
The smell of food cooking downstairs wafts up to Frankie’s room, pleasantly waking you up. Frankie’s lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his hands folded neatly on his tummy. 
You roll over and ask, “You okay?”
“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just nervous.”
“Nervous for what? Your family sounds awesome.”
“They are. They can just be overwhelming, I guess.”
“I get it. It’ll be fine, though. Like you said, I don’t think they’ll leave me alone.”
“Right,” he says, shaking his head, “It’s stupid. Today’s gonna be fun.”
“Wanna help me with the gingerbread cookies?” you say, getting out of bed and stretching once your feet hit the floor. 
“Sure,” he says, sitting at the edge and yawning, “Do you need to get anything for them?”
“I could just DoorDash some stuff. I don’t want to raid your mom’s kitchen.”
“Ah, she won’t mind. Let’s go downstairs.”
He stands up and stretches, the short-sleeved shirt he’s wearing lifting a little and exposing some of his tummy. His flannel pajama pants are hanging low on his hips and he’s got a little bed-head going on, his curls slightly matted in the back. God, he’s just so… cute. You can’t deny it any longer. As much as you don’t want it to be true, Frankie Morales is a cute man.
You follow him downstairs to the kitchen where his mother is cooking away, stirring different pots and pans on the stove. 
“Good morning you two,” she smiles. 
“Good morning,” you respond, “It smells amazing down here.”
“Thank you, honey.”
“Ma, I think we’re going to make the gingerbread cookies if we won’t be in your way.”
“Go ahead! By all means. Maybe you can decorate them with the kids tonight?”
“Good idea! Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
“Nonsense! I should have everything you need.”
“Told you,” Frankie says, opening a cabinet and looking through the shelves with you. 
To your surprise, she has everything you need for the cookies. And as you sit down at the dining room table Frankie says, “This kitchen is always fully stocked.”
As you roll the dough you think about tonight, meeting the rest of Frankie’s family. You’re excited to meet them but you’re also wondering what you should wear. You packed a few different options for outfits because every family’s vibe is different. Your family tends to lean more formal when it comes to holidays but Frankie’s family could be the complete opposite. 
“Frankie?” you ask, cutting the gingerbread men out with a cookie cutter. 
“Yeah?”
“What does your family wear on Christmas? Like do they dress up?”
“Oh, we abandoned trying to look nice a long time ago. Especially once my sisters started having kids.”
“Oh, okay. So don’t dress up?” 
“Nah.”
That makes you feel at least a little relieved. For some reason, you’re dying for them to like you. And you don’t even get why. You’re not Frankie’s girlfriend. There’s a large chance you’ll never see them again after you leave and go back to Florida. 
Once the cookies are on the trays, you pop them in the oven and set a timer on your phone. Rosa’s just about finished with dinner for tonight and Frankie’s cleaning up the mess from the cookies. You look at the clock on the stove and ask, “What time is everyone coming?”
“Around five or so.”
It’s already two-thirty now. You should probably get ready soon, in case Rosa and Frankie need the shower. 
“I’ll pull the cookies out if you want to go get ready,” Frankie says as if he read your mind. 
“Oh okay, thanks. Fifteen more minutes.”
“Gotcha,” he says, leaning against the counter beside the stove. 
You go upstairs and into Frankie’s room, going over all of your outfit choices in your head. You decide to wear option 3, light wash jeans and an emerald green sweater, nothing too fancy. You grab your clothes and your makeup and head to the bathroom, taking extra time to get ready. The timer on your phone for the cookies goes off and you hope Frankie remembers to take them out. You continue your shower, anxiously thinking about meeting the rest of his family. 
Eventually, as you’re dressed and putting on your makeup, Frankie knocks on the door. 
“Can I come in?”
“Go ahead,” you say, leaning forward toward the mirror and putting on your mascara. 
He opens the door and looks at you, practically bent over the sink. 
“You look…”
“Huh?” you, turning your head towards him. 
“You look nice,” he says, eyes wide. 
“Thanks. I’m almost done and then the bathroom’s all yours.”
“No rush. Take your time.”
You finish your makeup and gather all your stuff, leaving him in the bathroom and heading back to his room. You plop your stuff down on his bed and think of what to do next. Might as well make yourself useful while he’s showering and get the icing bags ready for the gingerbread cookies. You head back down to the kitchen, where Rosa’s sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. 
“You look beautiful, honey,” she says. 
“Thank you,” you say, sitting down across from her. 
“Francisco’s in the shower?”
“Yes, he is. I think I’m going to get the icing bags ready for the cookies if that’s alright.”
“Of course,” she says, springing up from her chair and rifling through the kitchen cabinets. 
She pulls out an electric mixer, confectioners sugar, and food coloring, setting them down on the table. 
“Milk’s in the refrigerator and let me get you some Ziploc bags…” she says, reaching into the cabinet again.
“Thanks,” you say, getting to work on the icing while she sits across the counter and watches. 
“I know I’ve just met you but I want to say thank you, for taking care of my son,” she says. 
“Of course,” you smile, scooping icing into the ziploc bag for makeshift piping bags.
“He hasn’t been the same since Tom died. But now that he’s here, it’s like he’s his old self again.”
Tom. There’s that name again. You have to know what happened if you’re going to keep up this charade. This is the second time she’s mentioned it and you’re playing along like you know what happened. It’s bound to come up again. 
“I’m glad he’s doing much better,” you say, adding food coloring to the bags. 
Eventually, you hear the water turn off which means Frankie must be getting out of the shower. Rosa gets up from her stool and says, “Well now that Francisco’s finally done, I guess I’ll go shower. I’m sure he left me no hot water.”
You two share a laugh and she heads up the stairs. You’re left alone with your thoughts until Frankie comes back downstairs again. So for now, in the fleeting moments of solitude, you think of ways to ask Frankie about his past that don’t sound completely insensitive. You could ask him under the guise of just trying to keep the charade going. This whole thing was his idea. He’d have to understand, right?
“Hey,” he says, snapping you from your thoughts. You didn’t even notice him coming downstairs. 
“Hi.”
“These look good. The kids will have fun decorating them.”
“I hope so,” you say.
You’re both just standing awkwardly in the kitchen, not saying a word. You think to yourself that maybe now would be the best time to ask, in case you need this information for tonight to go smoothly. 
You open your mouth to ask, “What happened in Colombia?” but you’re interrupted by the front door opening. 
“Feliz Navidad!” a woman’s voice shouts. You’re assuming it’s one of Frankie’s sisters or aunts. 
He pokes his head down the hallway and shouts, “Ria!” 
You glance over at the clock and she’s early. Frankie looks over at you and says, “She’s always early.”
“She’s the oldest?”
He nods. It makes sense. 
She comes into the kitchen and pulls Frankie into a big hug. She looks like a younger version of Rosa, a little bit shorter than Frankie. Her husband and kids pile in behind her, her girls hugging Frankie and her husband shaking his hand. 
“So nice of you to show up for Christmas. Not battling some mysterious illness this time, huh?” she teases. 
“I’m not lying! I was really sick.”
You’re standing there awkwardly in the kitchen, not trying to interrupt the family reunion. It isn’t until one of Ria’s daughters looks over at you and asks, “Who’s this?” that your presence is acknowledged. 
Frankie walks over to you and snakes an arm around your waist, proudly saying, “This is my girlfriend!” followed by your name. 
“Nice to meet you!” Ria says, “It’s been such a long time since Francisco’s brought a girl home!”
This is the second family member to refer to him as Francisco and now you’re wondering if you should be doing the same. Before you can continue she motions her daughters over and says, “This is Luna and Camila. Luna’s in her junior year of college and my Camila’s a senior in high school!”
“Exciting times for both of you,” you comment, not really knowing what to say. 
But Ria continues anyway. “And this is my husband, Emmanuel,” she says, gesturing to her husband in the corner. He seems like the quiet type, letting his wife do all the talking in social situations. 
“Where’s Ma?” Ria asks Frankie. 
“In the shower. Are the others on their way?”
“Laura’s almost here. Isabel and Roro will probably be late as per usual. Will you grab the rolls out of the car?”
Emmanuel nods, again not saying much of a word at all before heading out to the car in the driveway. Ria and the girls take off their coats, hanging them on a coat rack by the front door. While Luna and Camila retreat to the living room, Ria takes the rolls from Emmanuel and puts them in the drawer underneath the oven, putting them on a low setting to keep the rolls warm until dinner starts. Soon enough, you’re all sitting in the living room together, awkwardly exchanging glances and waiting for either Rosa to come downstairs or for someone else to arrive. 
And for a while, it feels like the front door doesn’t close, a slew of family members coming in left and right. First, it was Aunt Maggie. Then it was Laura with her husband, Rafael, and their kids, Sofia, Anthony (who insists you call him Tony), and Marcelo, Frankie’s favorite. And Frankie wasn’t lying about Marcelo being his favorite, his eyes practically lit up the moment Laura walked in the door, carrying him on her hip. After Laura’s family, Uncle Tommy and Cousin Ben came. Frankie’s arm around your waist tightened when Ben looked you up and down which made your heart do somersaults. Aunt Linda followed soon after. And finally, last but not least, Isabel and Aurora (who goes by Roro) arrived. 
Somewhere in between all of the commotion Rosa returned downstairs. And you’re left with your head spinning, trying to keep track of everyone’s names and trying to make a good first impression. And you think you succeeded? Laura and her kids are really nice. Marcelo’s been hanging off you and Frankie since he set foot in the door. Isabel is definitely the coolest Morales sister out of the three of them. You don’t really have any complaints about Frankie’s aunts. And Uncle Tommy’s been dozing off on the couch, reminding everyone to wake him up when it’s time for dinner. You don’t mind Ben at all but he definitely has a little crush on you. You don’t spend too much time talking to him, just enough to learn he teaches high school English.
You also noticed that Isabel, Roro, Uncle Tommy, Ben, and his brother-in-law all call him Frankie and not Francisco. But his mom, Ria, Aunt Maggie, and Aunt Linda call him Francisco. And to the nieces and nephews, he’s Uncle Frankie of course. 
Eventually, Rosa announces that it’s time for dinner. Frankie and Ben set up a small folding table for the kids, except for Marcelo who sits on Laura’s lap. You sit in between Frankie and Isabel. Rosa sits at the head of the table and before everyone digs in she says, “Now who would like to say grace?”
“I will,” Tony says, raising his hand from the kids' table.
“Go ahead,” Rosa says.
“Grace. Okay, we’re done. Let’s eat, everybody!”
Everyone shares a laugh and Rosa decides, “You know what? It’s good enough for me!”
The rest of Christmas Eve goes smoothly. After dinner, you help the adults clean up before bringing out the gingerbread cookies to decorate. All of the kids, even Luna and Camila, sit around the table with you, decorating the cookies with your makeshift piping bags. Ria takes a picture of you guys, brows furrowed in concentration as you all try to make the cookies absolutely perfect. 
“Aren’t you gonna do one?” you ask Frankie, who’s standing beside you and watching. 
“Sure,” he says, pulling up a chair. 
He grabs a gingerbread woman and begins to draw a face on her. But before he’s done he gives her a frown and angry eyebrows, holding it up and saying, “Look! It’s you when I don’t mow the lawn!”
“Oh, shut up,” you reply, grabbing your own gingerbread man and giving him not only angry eyebrows but a yellow blob in his hand. 
“Look! It’s you when you complain about free lemons.”
The kids laugh even though they don’t know the full context of the joke. But once the last cookie is decorated, people begin to head out, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and saying goodnight. Once the main level is cleaned up you and Frankie say goodnight to his mom. She tells you that Christmas dinner is at Ria’s and that it starts at two. 
With that, you’re off to bed, returning to your rightful place of being spooned by Frankie. And for once, the two of you are alone again. Your mind goes back to Tom, what happened in Colombia, and Frankie’s drug addiction. You’re just gonna do it, rip the bandaid off
“Frankie?”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Well, earlier your mom was talking about your friend Tom and what happened in Colombia… I know it’s not really my business but should I know what happened? You know to keep up the act-”
He sighs and you fear you’ve overstepped.
“I figured it was going to come up sooner or later.”
He pulls away to rest on his back, staring at the ceiling and recounting what happened. You lie on your back, too, looking over at him as he begins his story. 
“A few years ago, I developed a really bad addiction to coke. And it cost me almost everything. I lost my pilot's license. Santiago approached me, Tom, Will, and Benny about going to Colombia to steal money from this drug lord, Lorea.”
“I see,” you comment, letting him continue.
“It seemed appealing at the time. I needed the money, you know?”
“I get it,” you say softly.
“The mission was a fucking shitshow. We took fucking two hundred and fifty million dollars and lost all of it. It was too heavy for the helicopter so we crash-landed in a cocaine farm. They thought we were DEA and Tom killed some of them. So then we had to pay them as some kind of reparation. We went through the Andes on mules and two of the villagers followed us. One of them shot Tom and we had to carry him, the rest of the money through the mountains. When we finally reached the coast, the getaway boat was there waiting for us but the town was filled whatever was left of Lorea’s crew. There was no way we could carry all that cash with Tom’s body and make it to the boat without being killed. So we had to dump most of it down a fucking ravine.”
He’s getting more and more upset as he tells his story. And you feel guilty you even asked in the first place. He didn’t need to tell you all the details. He could’ve said his friend Tom died on a military mission in Colombia and that would’ve been enough to quell your curiosity. 
“Somehow we made it to the boat, but not without a fucking car chase and shootouts. By the end, we were left with a little over one million dollars each, but we decided to give it all to Tom’s family,” he says, finishing with a deep breath. 
You roll onto your side and look over at him. He’s not crying but you can tell he’s visibly upset, his eyes misty. 
“Thanks for sharing that with me. I know it’s hard to recount a traumatic experience like that.”
“It’s okay. Figured you should probably know. My family thinks it was some sort of mission for the Army, not that we went rogue. I don’t want them to know the true nature of what it was… greed.”
“Understandable.”
“So after all that I came home with a dead friend and no money.”
“I guess the overgrown lawn and the constant partying make sense now.”
That actually gets him to laugh. 
“I guess it does,” he chuckles, “But thanks for putting up with me.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“And thanks for coming here and doing this for me. That happened two years ago and my family has been worried sick about me since. Whenever my mom calls me I just… I just lie. I think if she saw how I was doing now it would break her heart. But here with you, she thinks you’re like my saving grace.”
You don’t say anything because you really don’t know what to say. It’s nice his mother feels that way, but it’s all a lie. 
“I know that was a lot…” he says.
“You’re okay. I’m here to listen,” you reassure him. 
“You should probably get some sleep. You’ll need all the energy you can get to deal with my family for another day.”
“Okay,” you sigh, rolling over to your other side. Frankie spoons you again like he always does. This time you don’t feel something hard against your lower back, instead you feel Frankie’s breath by your ear. 
“Thank you,” he whispers, holding you a little tighter as he falls asleep. 
-
You wake up to Frankie still holding you just as tight. You’ve never had a Christmas like this, one so peaceful. 
And then it hits you… it’s Christmas. Which means you need presents, something you completely forgot all about. You were too wrapped up in pretending to be Frankie’s girlfriend. 
“Frankie?”
“Yeah?”
Has he been awake this whole time? And still holding you just as tight… 
Whatever, worry about that later. 
“I forget to get everyone fucking presents.”
“Already took care of it.”
“Really?” 
“Mhm,” he says, propping his elbow on the pillow and looking down at you, “You’ve never met them before. How could you get presents for people you don’t even know?” 
“Right,” you say, lying on your back. 
“Merry Christmas,” he smiles. 
“Merry Christmas,” you respond. 
“Let’s go exchange with my mom.”
You roll out of bed first and let him grab the presents from his suitcase. 
“What did I get her?”
“A sweater. It’s her favorite color.”
“Ooh, good idea.”
He hands you the present and it’s wrapped like a typical guy would wrap it. 
“I’m telling her you wrapped it.”
“Oh, she’ll be able to tell,” he laughs. 
You follow him down the stairs where his mother is sitting on the couch watching a Hallmark movie. She smiles and wishes you a Merry Christmas when she sees you, grabbing presents from under the tree. 
You give her the present “you” got her and she clocks Frankie’s wrapping job right away. 
“I can tell Francisco wrapped this,” she chuckles, unwrapping the gift and opening the box. She tells you she loves it and pulls you in for a big hug. Even though you didn’t actually buy the gift, you can’t help but appreciate the sense of approval. Your mom would’ve criticized whatever you got her, no matter how great the gift was. 
Rosa got Frankie a wallet with his initials engraved in the leather. She got you an apron with your name embroidered on it. Both presents were very thoughtful and as she’s pulling out the photo albums like she promised the other day, Frankie whispers in your ear, “She’s big on getting things personalized.”
The three of you spend the rest of the morning looking at photo albums until it’s time to get ready to go to Ria’s. For once, Frankie can’t wait to jump in the shower, anything to get away from the “embarrassing” pictures his mom is showing you. 
Once the three of you are ready you drive to Ria’s in Frankie’s truck, with the gifts piled in the back seat. He parks on the street and you head inside to the already bustling house. Everyone shouts “Feliz Navidad” as you’re taking off your shoes before joining them at the table. 
The menu for Christmas dinner is empanadillas, tostones, pernil, and arroz con gandules. And for dessert, there’s tembleque, the gingerbread cookies you and the kids decorated, and of course, the lemon bars. 
Christmas Day goes even better than Christmas Eve. All of the presents got for you to give to his family were a hit, but not without a sly comment from Frankie.
“You know… She did have some help,” he says with a smirk and a wink.
That earned him a smack on the arm.
Eventually, the evening is winding down. The kids are sitting under the tree playing with their toys and the adults are scattered around the house. For once, there’s no one paying attention to you two.
“Come with me,” Frankie says, getting off the couch and grabbing his coat.
“Where are we going?” 
“For a walk,” he says. 
You follow him to the front door, slipping on your shoes and coat. The two of you walk side by side on the sidewalk. It’s silent between you two but it’s a comfortable silence. But as you stop underneath a streetlamp, Frankie says, “I have something for you.”
“Frankie! You didn’t have to.”
“No, I really did. And I wanted to. It’s not just a Christmas present but it’s also a thank you for doing this for me… And also an apology for being a shitty neighbor,” he chuckles.
He pulls out a box from his coat pocket and hands it to you. You lift the lid to reveal a gold chain with a pendant, and a lemon stamped into the metal.
“Aw, Frankie… This is so sweet.”
“Look at the back,” he says softly.
You flip over the pendant and engraved on the back is your street name, Magnolia Drive. You look back at Frankie and his face is nervous, as if he’s waiting for your approval. His brow furrowed, his face dimly lit under the streetlamp, and his curls peeking out under his stupid fucking hat. All you can do at that moment is kiss him. He’s shocked for a second but it doesn’t take long for him to melt into your touch and wrap his arms around you. 
He pulls away for a second to ask, “I take it you like it?”
“I love it, Frankie,” you nod, leaning in for a kiss again.
And for a moment you two stay there, holding each other under the streetlamp on Christmas night. 
“I didn’t get you a present,” you admit, resting your head against his chest.
“You already did. You did me a huge favor. It’s a lot to deal with my family.”
“I didn't just deal with them. I liked being with them.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, like you said before, they’re nothing like you.”
“Shut up,” he says, pulling you in for another kiss. 
After a while he says, “We should probably get back.”
You nod and follow him back to Ria’s house where you bid your goodbyes to everyone and head back to Rosa’s for the night. She turns in early and now it’s just you and Frankie alone again. But being alone with him feels different this time. Not only because you just kissed but also because you think… you have feelings for him. Maybe it’s the holiday spirit talking or how vulnerable he was last night, but you have to admit to yourself that Frankie Morales is not only a cute man but a man you misjudged this whole time. 
Once you’re back upstairs to Frankie’s room, you’re sitting side by side on his bed. The silence is back and you’re wondering if you shouldn’t have kissed him earlier. Maybe all you are to him is someone who did him a favor, someone who’s just his neighbor and nothing more. 
“I’m sorry about the kiss. I-”
“You’re sorry?”
“Well yeah, I-”
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long, cariño.”
“How long?”
“Soon after you moved in next door.” 
“Really? I thought you hated me.”
“No, I never did. I just liked pushing your buttons. You’re cute when you’re irritated.”
Your brain is short-circuiting, in disbelief at what he’s saying.
“Even when you were with Heather?”
“Mhm.”
“Is that why you were so jealous of Benny at your birthday party?”
“...Maybe,”
“Mmm, you’re cute when you’re jealous,” you say, leaning in for another kiss.
This time the kiss is needier, and more passionate, like you can’t get enough of each other’s touch, scent, and taste. His hands caress either side of your face as his body leans into you more, coaxing you to lie down on his bed. His mouth leaves yours, trailing along your jawline and down your neck. Your breath hitches as he nips at your skin, immediately licking the bruised skin afterward. He moves down lower, lips moving along your collarbone, until he’s completely kneeling on the floor in front of his bed. His hands hook around the waistband of your pants, sliding them off in one clean motion before going to remove your panties.
“Frankie?” you ask, resting on your elbows and looking down at him.
“Yeah?”
“What about like… your mom?”
“She sleeps like a rock,” he says bluntly, returning to what he was doing before. 
He pulls off your panties and spreads your legs, looking at how wet your cunt is already. 
“Mm, so wet for me, cariño,” he muses, his warm breath tickling your core.
Before you can respond, he licks one long, slow stripe up your cunt, sending a shiver up your spine.
“Fuck, Frankie,” you breathe out, eliciting a chuckle from him.
He goes back in for another, licking up and down your entrance slow, enough to drive you crazy. And then, he moves to your clit, tongue swirling around it as your back arches up off the bed. He hooks his arms around your thighs, keeping you in place as he gets to work, nose grinding against your clit while his tongue licks your cunt. It doesn’t take long for you to cum, his face taught against your cunt as you do so. 
Once you’re done, he rests his head against your inner thigh, admitting the mess he just made. The lower half of his face is soaked, his patchy facial hair glistening. He returns back to your cunt for one more lap of his tongue, just to taste you one more time before rising from the floor and taking off his clothes. You sit up and take off your sweater and your bra, tossing them on the floor and lying back down. You inch up a little higher on the bed to make room for him as he hovers over you. 
“I have a confession to make,” he says, looking down at you with a sly grin.
“Oh??”
“This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you naked.”
“Uhh-”
“Your bathroom window faces mine.”
“...It does?”
“Mhm. Saw you drying off one day.”
“Oh yeah? And then what?”
He bends down and whispers in your ear, “Jerked off in the shower to the thought of you.”
Your whole body shudders.
“Touch me, Frankie, please,” you whine.
“Are you begging, cariño?”
“Fuck. Yes, I am,” you whimper.
“Good girl,” he whispers in your ear, his hand caressing the outline of your breast before moving to your nipple. His other hand gathers some of your releases and strokes his cock, getting extra hard before sliding inside you, all while he plays with your nipple. You gasp at the sensation, feeling his length stretch your walls; feeling like you’re being split apart.
“You can take it,” he softly commands, bringing his face away from your ear and looking into your eyes again. He studies the expression on your face; the open mouth and the tears in the corners of your eyes, and his lips curve into a smirk. He draws his hips back and thrusts into you again, your cunt feeling completely full. Your soft moans are like music to his ears but he needs to hear more, not necessarily more sounds but a confession from you, too.
“Be honest, cariño. You’ve thought about fucking me too, haven’t you?”
It’s actually insane that this is the same sweet man who gave you the most thoughtful Christmas present earlier tonight. The same man who confessed to jerking off in the shower after seeing you naked.
“Y-yes…” you confess.
“What was that? Didn’t hear you,” he says as his hand to your other breast, taking your nipple in between his fingertips. 
“Fuck, Frankie yes, I’ve thought about it.”
“When?” he presses further, keeping the same pace with his thrusts.
“All the time. Even when you piss me off.”
“Knew it,” he teases, slamming his hips back into you. He rests his elbows on the other side of your head, face to face with you as he fucks you relentlessly.
“Frankie, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper.
“Let me feel it, cariño,” he says, studying your face again.
You close your eyes as you cum but that just won’t do for him. He wants you to look directly into the eyes of the man who made a mess of you.
“Look at me,” he softly commands.
You open your eyes, locking with his as you cum around his cock, feeling your walls flutter and pulsate in rhythmic patterns.
“Good girl,” he praises, thrusting into you one final time before coming, too. He paints your insides with his cum before pulling out of you and lying down on the bed. You roll over and situate yourself in the crook of his neck, resting your hand on his chest.
“You’re amazing,” he says, taking the his hat off his head and propping it on the bed post before wrapping his arm around you. There’s his sweet side again.
“I can’t believe you saw me naked,” you tease, still sort of in disbelief.
“Two times now. It’s a Christmas miracle,” he jokes.
You have to agree with him. He feels you twitch against him and he whispers, “Goodnight. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” you whisper back, letting sleep consume you.
New Year’s Eve
You’re spending New Year’s Eve at a bar with some of Frankie’s friends from high school. Ever since the night you got together, you’ve been leaning into the girlfriend role more, feeling like it’s not a charade anymore. Frankie doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he welcomes it. This is what the two of you wanted all along, even if both of you didn’t know it.
You’re watching the ball drop in New York City on the TV at the bar with Frankie’s arm snaked around your waist. As the clock strikes midnight, you kiss, feeling like you’re starting the year off right for once.
“Look at you,” you whisper against his lips, “Ending the year in a fake relationship and starting the new year in a real one.”
“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” he whispers back. 
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lorelune · 9 months
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(continuation here)
"do you remember me?"
"no."
blade stares at you, tilting his head to the side with a blank expression. you wish you could see any recognition on his face. but it's blank. nothing behind those eyes-- nothing for you, anyways. his hands twitch and itch in his binds. he's coiled, ready to strike. not you though.
(you can delude yourself into thinking that this makes you special. that him not pulling at his chains to hold a sword to your throat or squeezing your neck until it snaps, makes you different. perhaps his urges are curbed at the sight of you--)
(this is wishful thinking.)
he should, maybe you deserve it. it's your sin to bear and remember, maybe. you couldn't dare to tell jing yuan of all of... this, hence why your trip to the shackling prison was in secret. why you're holding your body so tightly.
"i thought so." but i hoped differently. you sigh.
"... why should i?" blade asks, voice hoarse and rough. you can't tell if its from disuse or overuse. he's lived too long.
"we knew each other, once."
('knew'. you're simplifying things for the sake of convenience. lessening the story you share, the lore you carry on your back like a uneroding stone. it's not like blade would care to hear it. you've read his file. he has only a few goals, which he doesn't hide upon interrogation. only one relates to the past, to a different face that you can only scorn along with him.)
(it's all in hate. anguish, under that. nothing of love. nothing at all.)
you laugh, weakly. it feels useless.
your phone vibrates in your pocket. you think it's jing yuan, without even looking at the message. probably wondering where you are. you're a few minutes late for your lunch date.
jing yuan knows this ache too, you think. he knows the feeling that's bloomed in your chest over the course of your visit. how each step that brought you closer to blade's cell pulled and tugged at your ribs like an overgrown flower. petals slicing flesh from the inside out.
(longing that would kill you, maybe. if you could die like that.)
"unsatisfied with my answer?" he asks. there's a soft quality to his voice, just for a breath. it makes you horribly nostalgic.
you need to leave.
"perhaps." you kick the scuffed metal of the floor. the sound rings out through the room as blade's chains jingle. like bells. "it was foolish of me to think you'd have any recollection of it."
"you seem unimportant to me."
it cuts through you. like a knife. as if you didn't once hold the world up for the man in front of you. as if you didn't beg and scream and raze anything in your path for his sake. as if you didn't bear his many burdens. as if you didn't labor to find something, anything, that could've prevented your fates. your current situation.
a prisoner and one freed. aeons know which of you is which.
"goodbye, yingxing." you don't know if he'll recognize his old name-- a name that isn't him anymore. your once-lover is simply a tool now, and he's taken the name of one. you knew this before you entered the prison. and yet--
(you ache with it.)
you turn away without taking in his expression. blade remains silent as you exit his cell.
(part of you prays he'll call out to you. that he'll sound like he once did. that there will be a kind reunion.)
(he doesn't.)
but that's alright, you tell yourself. it's misplaced hope after all. jing yuan is waiting for you, and you know he'll already have ordered your favorite dish. yanqing may join you, given the time of day. he would have just finished up his mornings spars.
all you have to do is compose yourself by the time you reach the general's favorite picnic spot.
(you almost collapse once you leave the shackling prison. the moment you are alone, tucked into an alleyway, you cover your mouth with your palm and weep. you cry until your chest hurts. you cry with a grief that guts you, as it always has. over and over.)
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cno-inbminor · 1 year
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repertum (pt. 2 - final)
summary: no matter how much you want alhaitham, you don’t think you can ever have him. he may or may not try to prove otherwise. // cameos from lumine and nahida // wc: ~15.1k
a/n: well, here it is! many, many thanks to @allsaiint for being my beta once again, especially for this monster. i love her to the ends of this universe. fair warning though, the smut at the end is un-beta’d so you’ll probably come across many grammatical/syntax errors. sorry, in advance. 
cw: afab!reader, fem!reader, more angst (but with comfort), 3.4 spoilers, probably some incorrect game lore and timing/mechanics, smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)
smut tags: derogatory/degrading terms (slut, cocksleeve, cumslut, cockslut), referring to alhaitham as ‘sir’, size kink, twinges of dacryphilia, one (1) pussy slap, some overstimulation, light bondage (reader’s wrists get tied together), blowjob, cunnilingus, hints of reader entering subspace (dom!alhaitham, sub!reader), will add more if i remember later but i think those are the highlights lol
please read part 1 for context! | AO3 Link for better viewing if the app is being a bitch
-    
As agreed upon you meet Lumine and Paimon on the walkway leading up to the Sanctuary. The traveling duo go inside first, as you’re sure they have much more private and serious matters to discuss. While you wait outside, you gaze over the ledge at the breathtaking view of Sumeru in the direction of the Lokapala Jungle, and its waterfalls still bright even in the darkness of dawn. Taking in everything around you— the breeze and the stars— you feel some peace in your heart knowing you have a place to call home and return to.
The doors swing open with Lumine looking a little less happy than earlier. Paimon mutters – or  at least attempts to – under her breath, while a man with a wide-brimmed hat trails out after them. The traveler provides no explanation,and instead informs you that Lord Kusanali wishes to speak with you for a minute. Perhaps the time together will let you know more about this mysterious man – child? – and why he seems to have put Paimon in such a bad mood.
“Y/N,” the Dendro Archon greets you warmly. Her voice is gentle as ever and full of compassion. “Thank you for coming here. I simply wanted to see if you had everything you needed for your travels and research.”
You show her your bag with thinly-veiled enthusiasm. “Thank you for the opportunity and your consideration of my proposal. The fact that you took the time to read through it and ask me about it really means a lot to me. It was luck that the traveler happened to be heading in that direction as well.”
“She will be a good companion. Please watch over her whenever you can.”
“Of course, though I imagine she’s going to watch over me more than her,” you jest and Lord Kusanali shares your amusement. “Is there anything else you needed?”
“No. May you have safe travels, and please visit whenever you return. I look forward to your findings.”
You bow with as much reverence as possible before waving goodbye to the Archon and heading out the doors. The man from earlier is nowhere to be seen, and Lumine appears more relaxed.
“Everything all good?”
“Yes! Should we head out then?”
“Very well.”
Those with Visions have always fascinated you with the way they could make their weapons appear and disappear, and materialize things in midair. Lumine does so with what appears to be a map of Teyvat, humming to herself as she pinpoints a location. She waves it away with dainty fingers and holds out her hand.
Though confused, you trust she means no ill will and Lumine grips your hand tight when you take hers.
“Teleportation is always a little rough for first timers. Just hold on and you’ll be okay.”
“Teleporta–”
You disappear in a flash of blue light. For a split, disorienting second, you see nothing, and in the next you’re greeted with a view of what appears to be part of the Mawtiyima Forest, if the luminescent treetops are any indication. Slight nausea overcomes you and your stomach does a small turn – shit, she wasn’t lying.
“Are you alright?” Lumine asks with concern, searching through her pack for a remedy..
“Do you want a cold towel?” Paimon adds on and flutters around you to search for any signs of injury.
“I think I just need to breathe for a second,” you say, collapsing against the cliffside. “And sit for a minute.”
“Take your time. We’re quite close to the border. I would’ve taken us straight into Fontaine, but since I’ve never been before, none of those teleport waypoints have been activated.”
You point towards one in front of you. “You mean these?”
“Convenient, right?”
“...very.”
-
Distraught, perhaps, is one way to describe Alhaitham’s current state of mind.
By all means, it makes no sense. Did he get to know you well in an alarmingly short amount of time? Sure. Did he really look forward to those initial 36 hours passing, to the point where he felt time was crawling by at a turtle’s pace? Perhaps. Was he trying to satiate a curiosity that he had never really felt before and attempting to answer a personal unknown? In some way.
The attempting-to-resign Acting Grand Sage has read his fair share of historical texts – especially conflicts driven by love and lust. A force so powerful that it could twist the minds of even the brightest and most logical – what was that like? From a young age, he was only ever introspective in an academic sense, and the scholars touted him to be a genius. But feelings, emotions, felt abstract and out of reach as he grew up. He only ever understood his lust as a byproduct of his development as explained in the textbooks. A branch of psychology mixed with biology described everything from why humans feel attraction and the need to copulate to what is deemed healthy and alluring in a potential partner, all in the name of posterity and evolution.
Alhaitham first concluded his initial draw towards you could be explained away by all of these findings.It didn’t quite fit all the checkboxes, but enough for him to deem it understandable and valid. Those checkboxes had been visited once before when he lost his virginity, but that was all there was to it. He wouldn’t be blind enough to deny that it was a pleasurable experience, but there were other, more pressing matters at hand. Yet, even after drawing his conclusion, nothing academic could help explain why his desire to be near you was so strong. The more carnal desires took a backseat to his need to pick your brain, to make you laugh, or to have you challenge him. He learned as many of your little mannerisms as possible, all the while pretending he was completely unfazed by your presence. Your different smiles, your nervous movements, your stressed looks, your interests and dislikes – he wanted to know all of them, and not so he could store it in his brain for cautionary purposes. It was all for the sake of getting to know you.
And then he became greedy.
Another sin Alhaitham didn’t quite understand before meeting you was the growing, bubbling pit of a constant want want want for you to be by his side. To have the fantasies of coveting your soul, retching on the inside at the mere thought of others seeing you the way he did you – he was starting to see why individuals were so often thrown into a fit of rage over their loved ones and why the law has separate stipulations regarding “crimes of passion.”
And even as he sits at his usual table in his usual seat (especially on days when he really doesn’t want to be in his office during work hours), sending glares to anyone who dared to approach him or even come near your seat (which was very much not your seat by any legal means), he finds himself buried in books of philosophy. Not that they are so far out of his usual reading, for they typically align with his understanding that there are universal questions that will never be answered yet should be stated, but he has never felt the need to dive deeper than the tip of the iceberg on different schools of thought. One line in particular catches his attention, however.
“Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions.”**
Moral philosophy, the area where this statement hails from, was intriguing, yet Alhaitham knew the respected experts could talk in circles for days and do their best to argue their reasoning. This particular philosopher suggests that passion is the cause for reason, for understanding why humans do the things they do. And as the word connotation suggests, there is no room to discuss whether or not this line of thought is rational. Just as passion drives reason, reason can also serve as the breeding ground for the passions.
Abstruse to several, esoteric to many, ambiguous to the masses – Alhaitham wonders if he’s found some sort of solution to his internal dilemmas. To have it all summed up in a single sentence resonates deeply with him. Simple and succinct, yet speaking volumes to the implications; finally with a deep breath.
The next day in his office, he leans and falls back into his seat, gaze focused on the domed ceiling above. He’s always hated this chair; far too grand and impractically large. One thing he doesn’t mind is the proportionate size of the desk, as he’s learned over the years that if you give him the space, he will inadvertently cover every inch of it with his materials. Even with their dwindling number of research applications, he manages to fill the voids with his own research, books laid open and aged parchment collecting dust. For being so far above the ground level of the House of Daena, it makes sense that silence is usually his sole companion, as he tends to ignore the other researchers and matra milling around. But there must have been some memo sent out because no one is there today, and no one has come up in hours.
Surprisingly, he finds the quietude and quiescence unnerving rather than welcoming, so much so he removes his treasured earpieces and places them in his lap. The white noise he’s often found bothersome is… comforting?
A distraction, perhaps, from the absence of you.
A long, heavy sigh leaves his chest as he pulls himself up and ambles over to a locked filing cabinet with all the approved research project applications. Before he became Acting Grand Sage, the remaining applications had been split between him, Lord Kusanali, and a few other individuals. First sorted by subject area and then by last name, he rifles through with an absent mind until he catches your name on a tabbed folder. Alhaitham wastes no time plucking it from the confines of the drawer and opening it, taking care to make sure the stacks of reports and research diagrams don’t spill out onto the floor. Kaveh would have a field day if he knew just how enraptured he was by the mere sight of your handwriting. He may even take him to Lord Kusanali herself for psychological treatment or interrogation because there was no way this Alhaitham was his same sarcastic, scathing, infuriating roommate – and despite the slight amusement the thought gives him, he cannot ignore the painful pull in his chest.
It’s been five weeks since you were last seen in Sumeru, and five weeks since he had knocked on your apartment door only to be greeted by your next-door neighbor, who announced you’d left early in the morning with no definitive time of return and no mention of your destination. You would be back eventually, but would it be in six days or six months? Nobody seemed to be the wiser.
He had had half a mind to reach out to Cyno and call in a special favor to track you down for his own internal peace, but he knew the request would be irrational and unnecessary. So once a week, he stops by your apartment to see if you’ve returned, and with each unsuccessful visit and your doormat collecting more and more dust, his heart sinks just a little bit lower. If he wasn’t in his current position, he’d be halfway across the desert by now (and ultimately in the complete opposite direction) under the guise of searching for ancient ruins. Merely searching for facts and truth; nothing more, nothing less.
All to say, Alhaitham wishes he had looked through this filing drawer earlier because the file on his desk contained all the answers to his questions of your whereabouts.
The relief of knowing you were safe in a nearby nation surges through every vein in his body, tension in his muscles disappearing with the rays of sunlight beating down from the stained-glass window above. He would’ve been much more concerned if you’d gone to Inazuma – even if this Captain Beidou that Lumine spoke highly of was more than adept at crossing the treacherous seas from Liyue, the mere possibility of you falling overboard or being forced to stay in the nation was still unsettling, to say the least.
Leaning his weight onto the desk, Alhaitham drinks in everything your research has to offer. There are a few mistakes and edits that could be rectified here and there, but nevertheless, it is well done. He remembers now seeing some of these papers before, as notes you had been scribbling down on some early afternoons in the cafe. Pleased isn’t enough to describe the hum in his chest when he notices some of his suggestions incorporated into your application, fondly recalling the moments when you had picked each other’s brain regarding the topic at hand. Never once did you mention that any of this had been in preparation for your big research journey, but he would be remiss not to believe recent events had served as the catalyst for your sudden departure.
“Do come back to me,” he murmurs to no one. As he lifts his head, the cosmical, automated orb— reminiscent of an Auspicious Branch— just above the elevator platform seems to mock him. It’s An inaccurate teller of time as it spins and spins in its orbit, and Alhaitham yearns for the day you return home.--
The day you return to him.
-
Traveling with Lumine is fascinating, to say the least.
Ignoring the fact that feeding Paimon is like feeding three grown adults, watching the Traveler gather and store every fruit and herb and loot in sight makes you wonder what kind of life she had led before all of this. The way she takes down some wayward Treasure Hoarders is a sight to see, like a well-rehearsed dance. It lends to your understanding of why the term is “martial arts” because the way Lumine maneuvers around the enemies and her sword is, very much so, an art.
But more time together means more time into probing the real reason you’ve decided to come to Fontaine with her, and for whatever reason, she is really good at getting you to spill the beans. Lumine’s heard most of your life story at this point.
“Who are you running from?” she asks one night. After checking in with the Adventurer’s Guild in Fontaine’s capital, you’ve joined Lumine in her journey around the nation to activate the rest of the teleport waypoints. You send her your sheepest look, begging with your eyes for her to not ask anymore. But you’ve skirted around this topic the last few weeks and you figure it’s time for her to know.
With a heavy breath, you set down your bowl of biryani on the grass. “Promise you won’t judge?”
“Promise.”
“...it’s Alhaitham.” The crackling of the little campfire Lumine had put together is deafening, even louder than the ripples and waves of the river crashing onto the sand in front of them.
Naturally, Paimon speaks up first, though speaking is an understatement.  “Alhaitham?! You mean that– that super mean Acting Grand Sage? The know-it-all? Can’t really care less about others? Condescending?”
“That’s a pretty big word there, Paimon–” Lumine cuts in.
“Hey!”  
“See?” you respond, the smile on your face small, awkward, and bittersweet. “Things happened and well… I thought it’d be better if we stopped seeing each other.”
“You were seeing each other?!!”
“Paimon, stop!” Lumine interjects and shoots the floating fairy a disapproving glare.
You really wish you had some alcohol with you right now.
“Well…”
For the next several minutes, you provide a detailed summary of how you came to meet and learn more about Alhaitham, the nature of the budding relationship, how all your insecurities came to a head on that night, and how you ended up here. Lumine remains silent when you finish explaining everything, clearly thinking through all the information and trying to find the right words to say.
“You know,” she begins, “Alhaitham may be one of the most infuriatingly logical men that I’ve ever met. And a really good actor, too. Remind me to tell you the details of what he did when we rescued Nahida.”
“...I don’t think that makes me feel any better.”
“I’m just saying, but I also think you know by now that Alhaitham isn’t someone who does anything that isn’t for his own benefit, in some way.”
“Again, not helping.”
“What I’m trying to say is if he just wanted to get his dick wet, I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would agree to help out in much less time.”
To which, Lumine has a point. A very good point. But still you say, “He’s super picky though, I don’t think he’d just sleep with anyone regardless.”
“Which brings me to my original point: he picked you for a reason.”
“Because I’m easy?”
Lumine flicks your forehead before you can even blink, and with a decent amount of force as well. Your resulting indignant yelp pierces the atmosphere as you rub the sore spot. “What was that for?!”
“For being unreasonable. I’m trying to say that you must be special to him, that’s all.”
“... but what if he didn’t want to see me again after sleeping together? Sure, let’s say that I am ‘special’, heavy emphasis on my air quotes right now, but I want more, an actual relationship. How do I know that’s also what his end goal is?”  
“You don’t,” Lumine affirms. “But there’s no use in wading through the what-ifs. You know what you want, and I think you’re allowed to communicate that to him, regardless of what he says.”
It’s hard to come to terms with the underlying implication that you’re being something of a coward, with not a whole lot of reason to be. You’re grateful for the open water before you, its lullaby comforting with the breeze it brings. Years of academic research have made you painfully familiar with the concept of trial and error, but to apply it to human relationships? It leaves much to be undesired. Five weeks, in the grand scheme of things, are certainly nothing more than a miniscule blip of time. But in your limited life with the overhanging unknowns of the world, it was a sizable enough amount of time filled with passive rumination and downward spirals.
“You’ll figure it out when you get there. But I’m warning you, we’ve still got a lot of ground to cover.”
You can’t help but laugh in relief. “That is completely okay, I promise you.”
Running away might as well be your newly developed skill at this point.
-
A few weeks later
“I mean, I could stay with you there in Fontaine, right? You know, extra set of hands and all?”
“You’re not getting out of this.”
“Lumiiinneee,” you whine, petulant pout making itself known.
“Just talk to him – whatever happens, happens. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. But you owe it to yourself to say your piece, as well as to him for an explanation that he needs to hear. Now go.”
She all but (gently) shoves you into the Akademiya, watching over you with an encouraging wave of her hand. When you’re less than five steps away from the door into the House of Daena, you look over your shoulder once more for any signs of escape. As expected, the Lumine-shaped obstacle stands firm in her spot.
You clutch your final report to your chest, mind racing with a thousand thoughts per second, and don’t even realize you’ve already made it to the elevator platform. And once it gives a mechanical shudder and starts to go up, you want to scream and simultaneously steal a glider to jump off and land safely back on the ground level.
Is it good or bad luck that no one seems to be around? Maybe he won’t be at his desk and you can just leave the report there and fucking bolt. Maybe it’s not even Alhaitham in the Grand Sage’s chair. Maybe the man is gone altogether and is somewhere in the desert looking at ancient runes.
Maybe he just doesn’t care anymore and has forgotten about you. Maybe he told himself to let bygones be bygones, and that you were simply another scholar in the Akademiya. No one special.
Your initial hopes of his coincidental absence are dashed as you walk up the stairs. His silver hair stands out among the sea of azure and viridian, and he doesn’t even bother to look up from the stack of papers in his hand. Not that you were a bull in a china shop by any means, but the man would even notice with his eyes closed if there was a fly on the complete opposite side of the office. Your heart is ready to burst from your chest with each shaky step, and too soon, you stand in front of his sprawling desk.
“My office hours will be ending in a few minutes,” he states in a matter-of-fact tone without looking at you. You risk a sharp inhale at the sound of his voice, an all too familiar mix of gentility and sternness. “If it’s something that requires more than that length of time, come back tomorrow.”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck – “I’m just, um, turning in a research report?”
At the sound of your voice, Alhaitham doesn’t even bother to amuse himself. He’d much rather not look and not be disappointed, than to do so and become reacquainted with dashed hopes. “...And the necessary cover sheet is on top? Does it have your name, project number, and corresponding title?”
“Y-Yes.”
Still perusing through the paperwork in his hands, he frees one hand to point it at a basket on his far-right corner. “Leave it there. Your advisors and I will be reviewing it within the next two weeks.”
“Oh, o-okay.”
You do as instructed, but with each second that passes without any eye contact or direct acknowledgement of your presence, you begin to wonder if he’s purposely ignoring you. Or maybe he forgot about you entirely and wrote you off as a failed pursuit. Perhaps that would be the best-case scenario and you could hole up in your apartment for the rest of… eternity. Maybe. Lumine can come and scold you later and you can take it like a champ.
But your heart, ever so fickle and occasionally diabolical, plays one last card and causes you to stop at the top of the stairs. “Have a good night,” you muster out. “Thank you, Alhaitham.”
The rustling of his papers ceases as you turn and hurry down the steps, taking extra care to not trip over your feet. Just before you can activate the elevator, a frazzled “Y/N?” is called from above. With sweaty hands, a sullen heart, and a leadened brain, you nervously orient towards the scholar inhabiting your dreams, who stands on the edge of the platform above and peers down to confirm his suspicion. His stance looks as if he had leapt over his desk and sprinted at top speed towards you.
You’re not sure how to take it all in, how to take him in – the “feeble scholar”, for once, appears as such. If possible, his cheeks seem a little more sunken in, further accentuating the sharp edges of his jawline. His hair looks mussed, as if he’d run his hands through it several times too many. The cloak around his shoulders rests askew from his sudden movements.
But his eyes—
Those seafoam irises and amber pupils pierce through your soul, but not in an inquisitive and calculating manner. In fact, it’s quite the opposite – he looks unsure, disbelieving, and hesitant. To elicit such a reaction from this man should be recorded in the most prominent historical annals, but you do have to admit it’s a bad look on him.
When you open your mouth to say something, anything, the elevator begins its descent. Any words you had are wiped from your mind, and you do everything you can to maintain this staredown. Weeks ago, you couldn’t even begin to guess what this man would be feeling based on his eyes, but now? His heart is on his sleeve, and you can’t help the green envy in your veins at the possibility that others have seen him in such a vulnerable state.The constant battle between an illusional desire to be his everything and knowing that you never could and never should be, rages on.
You’re the first to look away. Sorry, Lumine, you think, as Alhaitham’s figure disappears from view. All you’re left with is the rotating orb above, spinning and spinning until it makes you sick to your stomach. You just want to get back to your apartment and start sweeping the dirt away, to return to some sense of normalcy before all of… this appeared. You never should’ve indulged in your whimsical desires.
-
Alhaitham hovers in a state of shock as he watches the elevator take you back down – after weeks of catching a glimpse of who he thinks is you at the cafe, hearing your voice in his head as he scribbles away on paperwork, or dreaming of escaping his duties to find you in Fontaine, he’s not sure if he really believes you were here or if it was some effective lucid dreaming. But the sudden pull, the impulsive need to just check the cover sheet when his name left your lips, was far too strong and he had dived right in without a second thought.
And there in your handwriting, in all its glory, was your name printed neatly at the bottom. One second, he was at his desk and the next, he was at the edge of the outer office ring for confirmation.
The last few minutes of his workday have never gone slower as he paces back and forth in front of his desk. He’s doing his best to stay calm and formulate a plan, but even that has become difficult for him. There are too many extraneous factors at play, several he can’t be sure of – did you meet someone new in Fontaine? Were you going to leave again?
Did you even want to see him?
You could’ve left without another word once your research paper landed in that return basket. He would’ve been none the wiser until he physically picked up the report, which probably wouldn’t have happened for another few days, what with all the cleaning up he’s trying to do before his resignation is official. All that lost time in between would have left him even more distraught.
But the fact that you had stopped and made a point to thank him, to call him out by name, means something. Like him, it seems you are just as unsure of where the two of you stand.
And that’s all he needs to move forward.
-
Granted, moving forward didn’t initially involve climbing up the fire escape ladder behind your apartment building.
With a takeout bag of your favorite foods from Lambad’s Tavern, he was originally going to knock on your front door like any other individual. But before his knuckles could rap against the Adhigama wood, he thought, why not check to see if you’re even home? That would eliminate the possibility of you seeing him through the peephole and then pretending you’re not home – or worse, you opening it and then slamming it back in his face.
His unparalleled logic led him to skip the ladder and jump onto the first floor. It’s not that he wouldn’t be able to climb it with one free hand – the food would’ve gotten messy with all the jostling around. He ignores the sound of laughing children as he ambles past, but allows the semblance of a grin to dawn his face when he hears, “Whoa, look at that mister!” Alhaitham looks above him as he climbs the next set of stairs, noticing a light peeking through the living room window. That’s one good sign, at least, because it means you’re home, right? He peers past the half-open curtains when he arrives at your floor. He’s just checking. Nothing suspicious or untoward. Yet all of that is scrapped— another deviation from his initial plan— when he sees you sitting on your couch, sorting through a pile of mail on your coffee table. With a mind of their own, his knuckles knock lightly against the glass and he can’t help but let a humorous snort slip out when your body jerked with a visceral startle, head whipping towards the source of your adrenaline spike.
You don’t need to verbally question his sudden appearance when it’s written all over your face.  Your eyebrows are knitted and arched, mouth turned down in a slight frown, hands clenched in fists with visible tension and unease. “Alhaitham, what– I mean–”
He holds up the food behind the windowpane for you to see. “I wanted to bring you dinner since you probably don’t have anything prepared on your first night back.”
Without another word, you slide open the window, letting him clamber through as you take the bag from him. He retrieves it as you lock the window and yank the curtains together, setting it on the table away from a mound of what he presumes to be junk mail. You scramble for words and coherency as you search for clean plates and utensils, but the effort is fruitless. There’s a trapped shriek in your chest and you don’t know how to snuff it out.
Dinner is a quiet affair, save for some awkward small talk here and there. He makes it a point to give you extras, whether it be a little more mint cilantro or tamarind chutney for the samosas (despite it being his favorite) or more of the lamb from the biryani. Each little morsel pushes your heart further up your throat, further sending you into a downward spiral. Why is he so kind and caring when you had essentially kicked him out last time? Why is he going out of his way to make up for a wrong he never committed?
Alhaitham basks in your company, taking in every detail of your outward appearance. You seem skinnier than before, hair just a little bit longer. A few fresh, healing cuts on your hand stand out to him and he hopes they were all accidental and not intentionally created by another human being. There’s so much he wants to say and question, but for once he cannot find the right words. Rarely has he ever felt as though he was skating on paper-thin ice with someone – years of not caring or sparing thoughts for how others might perceive him lends nothing to resolve his state of incertitude. So the only way he can currently try to communicate is through actions, hence the extra foods and your favorite parts of them, making sure you have a usable napkin at all times, refilling your cup of water when it starts to look low, and more.
With a full belly, you sigh with satisfaction, a breath that appeases Alhaitham just the slightest bit. “That was good. Thank you for bringing it.”
“You’re welcome. Was the food in Fontaine not to your taste?”
You hum in thought. “A bit bland, honestly. Not as many spices are used in their foods like they are here.”
“Ah.”
The two of you sit silently for a few moments. You’re looking anywhere and at anything but him, your knee bouncing and hands wringing together. Is he trying to let you down easy? Soften the blow? What is his end goal?
His fingers tap the table in a silent rhythm, noticing that despite the small talk, the tension in the air is still viscous. He ignores the gnawing desire to hold your hand and squeeze it tight, to graze his thumb over those scabs and kiss them. He’s not ready to leave yet, which is why he juts his chin towards the only unopened bag on the table and says, “I also brought dessert. Would you care to have some now?”
No. Yes. I don’t know. I can think of something else I want for dessert but that’s not the point right now, is what runs through your head.
“Sure. What is it? I might have something to go with it.”
“It’s baklava.”
For him to remember that baklava from Pupusa Cafe is your preferred dessert when eating your favorite dishes is even more mind-boggling in this whole situation.
You stand on shaky legs and walk towards the pantry. “Does wine sound okay?”
Alhaitham ponders your last mutual experience with alcohol, which had ended in a disaster, even if he knew full well that it wasn’t a cause by any means; an unintended catalyst. As long as neither overindulged, it would be harmless. Right?
So he nods. “That sounds good.”
You return with a corkscrew opener, two stemless wine glasses, and one of your better bottles of aged wine. Alhaitham remains silent as he takes the opener from you and drives it into the cork, hand twisting the top knob with ease. You feel shameless in the way you stare at his arms, watching his muscles flex. The veins in his hand become more visible and you can see the tension in his forearm through his arm guards, all the more when he pushes the levers closed and wiggles the cork out of its confines. He takes good care to tactfully remove the cork and place it on the table, and pours a glass for you first.
“Thank you,” you murmur as you take it from him with both hands, ignoring the way his fingers seem to linger after making contact with yours. You portion out the baklava as he pours a glass for himself and he voices his gratitude in turn.    
As you nibble on the delicacy, the silence weighs heavily on your chest, both a burden and a source of comfort. “Did you find everything you needed in Fontaine for your research?” he asks, once again attempting to make some neutral conversation. Alhaitham has never been one for sweets, but he’s willing to eat it for and with you. The cafe’s baklava is one of few desserts he can handle, as it’s not as sickeningly sweet as some other places’ when they’ve added too much syrup.
You chew slowly as you think of your answer. “I think so. I feel pretty good about my report.”
“I’ll be sure to read it soon,” he responds. After all, he is a pretty quick reader, and with the dwindling number of research project applications, he can efficiently get through the other reports to make sure he reviews yours before he goes back to being the Scribe.
“You know, there’s no need to rush on my account,” you say. Honestly, that’s the last thing you need because it would confirm your worst fears and assumptions. Everything discussed with Lumine would’ve been tossed violently out the window, and you so badly don’t want it to manifest.
“...I won’t,” he assures you. Alhaitham understands your research paper needs to be treated like every other one passing through the Akademiya, especially if he is going to be one of the formal reviewers.
You feel your lungs losing air, your heart rate soaring through the roof. With a stroke of luck, your glasses of wine are finished off and the plates hold nothing but crumbs, which provides a perfect excuse for you to get up and get away.
“I’m gonna wash the dishes,” you announce, voice doing little to hide how nervous and shaky you’re feeling. It’s another miracle that you don’t drop anything on the trek from the dining table to the sink as you wonder if you’ve killed any chance of being with Alhaitham. Where was the confidence you possessed when you first met the man?
Even being mere meters away from him becomes painful. His presence alone provides a sense of security, strong and silent. The lack of warmth, the string between you two pulled taut, ignites an obdurate yearning – the very same yearning experienced when you spent days avoiding the man prior to your departure for Fontaine. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they all say, and there certainly was some merit to it.
The silence remains suffocating, in some ways, but also comforts you with its deep pressure, distracting you enough that you fail to notice Alhaitham moving around. He removes his cloak and earpieces, draping them neatly over the couch armrest before he comes to stand next to you at the sink. He grabs a towel and is ready to dry when you’re done washing the dishes. Your muscles begin to relax, that earlier frost of loneliness gradually dissipating with his presence nearby. He dries everything with the utmost care and lines them up neatly as you hand them over, and you ignore the little brushes of his fingers against yours with each relinquished plate. You can’t help but wonder if he can feel the heat emanating from your cheeks because honestly, you feel like your face is on fire.
Alhaitham finishes drying off the last item – the second stemless wine glass – and turns to lean his back against the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He waits as you rinse down the sink and passes you the towel to dry off your hands. Your timid smile leaves him hopeful that you’re not visibly shying away from him— not visibly, at least. Seconds pass, and now there is nothing left for you to do or keep yourself busy. He waits for you to gather your bearings and settle to show that you’re ready to talk about… whatever this is.
Those haunting irises suddenly meet his with an alarming amount of determination, holding steadfast and searching his for something, anything. He can’t bear to lose and look away, not that he wants to. Yet you remain quiet, and Alhaitham leans into his impulses.
With firm, sure hands, he pulls you toward his original spot and lifts you up just enough so that you’re sitting on the counter. Alhaitham plants them by your waist and bends down to be level with your gaze, which now holds hints of fear and surprise. They’re open wide, your pupils slowly dilating, and he catches a glimpse of your fingers curling around the edges of the counter. He so badly wants to cradle your face in his hands, to feel your physical presence and prove to himself that you’re really here before him. But that is intimacy he hasn’t quite been granted yet and he can’t mess this up. He must’ve done something wrong the last time he was here, and he most certainly doesn’t want to risk the same outcome again.
“I like you,” he proclaims with a resolute tone. Alhaitham has always hated beating around the bush when unnecessary, and at this point he needs it said out loud for you to know. “I have been attracted to you since the moment we met, and I used to believe that it was purely a biological response. But then I wanted to know more about you. I wanted to learn more about who you are and how your mind works. To be quite honest, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else being in my position right now. I will not hide the fact that I am selfish and want you all for myself, if you would have me.”
You are struggling so hard to keep the smile off your face, your mouth pursing while your teeth dig into the inside of your bottom lip. Three months ago, you would never have seen this coming, and you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they had suggested it.
“If you need time, I can wait. I am not always the most patient person, but for you, I am willing to do so. And–”
“I was worried that you wouldn’t want to see me again after having sex,” you interject and confess. The embarrassment of your thoughts and actions quickly becomes a heavy weight in your chest. Your nerves strain to get the better of you and shut you down before saying more, but you force yourself to push past them. Alhaitham provided you with honesty and transparency, and he deserves the same from you. “We had so much tension between us and I was worried that once it was all resolved, you wouldn’t feel the need to see me again.”
Alhaitham takes a moment to process your words, but he can still see the tension in your shoulders. You won’t meet his gaze as you look past him or at other parts of his body. “There’s something else, is there not?”
You look down at your hands in your lap, your fingers intertwined and fingertips applying pressure where they land. With how forthcoming he has been, you owe it to him to extend the same courtesy, despite how silly it feels now.
“I couldn’t understand why you would even like me,” you say, voice soft and barely audible in the silence. You’re unable to mask the melancholy in your tone when you remember how it felt to internally question his affections and assume the worst. A quiet chuckle slips past your lips, but it’s derisive and bittersweet. “I’m just another scholar and you— you were the Scribe and later Acting Grand Sage. I thought maybe people would accuse me of… providing sexual favors, to put it lightly, if you showed me any leniency or favoritism in my academic career.”
The back of your knuckles brush against his cheek as you lift your head up to take him in. “You could have anyone in the world and you deserve nothing but the best. So why me?”
“I would need a few all-nighters and several pieces of paper to pen down every reason why.”
His quick reasoning with all indicators of certainty – his tone, the lack of any dishonesty in his eyes, the way he holds your eye contact – takes you for a loop. You’re only able to let out a soft “oh” as you let the implications of his words swim in your brain, leaving you helpless to find a suitable response. How do you follow up on an answer like that?
When he feels your fingers slipping down his jawline, he stops it with his own to press his cheek into your palm. “If it provides you any comfort, I will no longer be the Acting Grand Sage by next week. You know how long I’ve waited for them to process and approve of my resignation. And as the Scribe… it still does not matter. People who would assume something so salacious are simply capitalizing on their own insecurities, and they do not deserve a second of your time or an ounce of room in your thoughts. I do my best to exercise fairness and reason in all matters for the Akademiya, and even as my partner you would not be safe from that.
“I’ve never shied away from telling you how things are and you know this. I can ensure you would not earn any favoritism or leniency within the boundaries of the Akademiya, should my presence be involved in your research.”
The smirk that creeps up at the corner of his lips ignites a small flame in your belly – thrill and heat and trepidation all melding together. “Now, outside of those boundaries, it’s a different matter. If I may pry once more, what is your answer?”
Liquid fire pumps from your heart and into your veins, further fueling the heat in your core. Just as it dips dangerously lower, so does your hand, and the other joins in lightly scraping your nails down his abdomen. You feel him jump beneath your touch and relish in the sound of his swallow, and how his breath hitches when your fingertips dip into the band of his pants. They tug him forward until he’s standing between your thighs, just centimeters of nothingness between you two. Even as close as he is, Alhaitham can’t help but think there’s still too much space unoccupied.
Your eyes scream, beseeching him to understand your actions and for him to respond in kind. It can only mean one thing, but he wants to hear those words. He wants it engraved in his memories for the rest of time, despite the desperation to give in and give you both what you desire and need. Alhaitham grasps your chin between his thumb and curled index finger, leaning forward closer and closer until his lips barely touch yours.
“Use your words.”
Arousal seeps through your underwear as the subdued tenor of his voice sends shivers down your spine. Wholly unfair, this man is. Devilish, demanding, teasing, controlling – but most of all, he is yours.
“Please let me have you, if you will have me,” you whisper against his lips, eyelashes fluttering closed at the faint touch.
No sooner when you are greeted by darkness does he fully slot his mouth against yours, hands gripping tightly on your hips to pull you against him. A groan slips past and into you because gods, he’s missed this so much. After nights of waking up with the ghost of your kisses, he never wants this to end and longs for a reality where time can stop and he can take his sweet, sweet time to worship every millimeter of your body with his lips, and then some. Excitement electrifies his whole body when you reciprocate his desire ounce for ounce, and even more so when you let out a pretty little whine, just for him.
When he pulls back for a chance to breathe, he doesn’t move far. “Good girl,” he praises so sweetly, the words washing over you in something akin to pride for eliciting his approval and pleasing him. Alhaitham slides the tip of his nose against yours, moving to kiss your forehead, then your cheeks, your jawline, and the pulse point on your neck. Even the slightest pressure has you tilting your head to the side, granting him permission and room to do as he pleases. Alhaitham bides his time to press whispers of kisses onto your skin until he nips a sensitive spot. A sharp inhale pierces through the kitchen when he sucks on the patch of skin caught between his teeth, taking the utmost care to break the little capillaries underneath. He wants you to experience his phantom touches on these spots in the hours when he’s away from you, a constant reminder that you are his and his alone.
Your fingers dig into Alhaitham’s silver locks, torn between pressing him further into your neck and pulling him away. “Haitham,” you plead and tug on his strands, which only prompts an even harsher abrasion from him. “Wanna kiss you.” Your voice is breathy, and you feel as if you’re on the verge of tears. Who is he to deny such a reasonable request?
Though instead, he pulls you off the counter and rushes to your bedroom with you in tow, granting your wish as soon as you enter. The back of his knees hit the foot of your bed and Alhaitham drags you with him when he sits on top of your blankets. Despite your eagerness to clamber over and straddle him, he disapproves when you attempt to exercise a modicum of control over the situation by leveraging some height over him, utilizing gravity to lean into his embrace and kisses. His palms slide up your thighs with reverence until they dig into the crevice of your hips and yank them down. To have you pressed fully against him is most certainly a blessing, and there’s no way you don’t feel his growing arousal against yours.
When he feels his bottom lip stuck between your teeth, Alhaitham smiles. It still seems you’re not fully understanding the position you’re in. Perhaps, he might need to remind you of just who exactly is succumbing to who.
You keen when his hands dip underneath your shirt to draw meaningless patterns into your waist, but also to make his mark as he holds tight enough that you think you would feel some internal bruising tomorrow. They dance higher and higher, until they meet the bottom seam of your bra, and you nearly choke with the arousal suffocating your lungs.
“Can I?” Alhaitham almost begs, but watches for any sign of hesitation.
“Yes,” you breathe back. You lift your arms up, waiting with thinning patience, and he wastes no time in following through, tossing the shirt to the side with one hand as the other busies to unhook the metal clasp of your bra. Soon enough, your upper body is bare for him to see, to touch, to love – and his breath is taken away because you are so, so beautiful; perfect breasts with hardened nipples, an empty canvas all for him. He made a mistake last time for not seeing them properly, having been too focused on the way they felt against his chest instead.
“Fuck me,” he murmurs. His subsequent scoff feels derisive, sardonic, self-destructive, and his thumbs ghost over your areolas. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous – this is unfair.”
“You’re the one who’s unfair,” you retaliate with a shaky breath as you nearly tear off his shirt. One look at his muscular and toned frame, and it takes everything to stop the drool from spilling past your lips. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
“Be careful,” he warns, his fingers digging into the flesh just underneath your breasts. Alhaitham holds onto you as he scoots further back onto the bed, and once he deems there’s enough room, he rolls over until he’s hovering above you, panting and hair splayed and lips swollen. “I’m just a feeble scholar.”
When you roll your eyes with an excessive amount of sass, he dips down to capture your right nipple in his mouth and gives a harsh suck as punishment, satisfied when all defiance on your face morphs into pleasure. Pretty, responsive, little angel, all for him, so sweet, so delicate, so adorable when your spine arches into his mouth and continues to suspend itself as he pays his respects to your other breast. You feel your conscience become fuzzier and fuzzier, dissolving into mush as the tendrils of overstimulation begin to grow, and once again, you find yourself torn between wanting to let him continue and wanting him to stop.
He decides to grant you some mercy when you can’t help but twitch and shy away. Alhaitham’s primal desires begin to crest and wash away any rationale, desperate to keep the taste and feel of your skin between his lips and on his tongue. He doesn’t quite understand this newfound desire to nip and bite, but all he knows is that when he does, his arousal pulses and nearly threatens to break past the seam of his pants. Alhaitham moves lower, lower, ghosting past your stomach, nudging past the band of your bottoms and underwear to tug them down all the way. Those are thrown out of view and he finally, finally, gets to continue from where he last left off, taking no time to push your legs away towards your chest and give a lascivious lick up the length of your cunt. The tip of his tongue meets your clit at the end of its journey, and he firmly holds you down when your hips buck into his mouth as it circles the nub.
It’s game over when he takes it fully in his mouth.
Your hands twist themselves once more into his silver hair, expletives slipping off your tongue as you chase your high. You feel your pussy clench around nothing the higher you climb, the coil in your core winding tighter and tighter. He eats you out like a man starved, enthusiasm unveiled and clear. His passion unbridled and sending you further into the clouds, you feel tears in your eyes begin to well up from sheer bliss, so sensitive and so unbelievably unprepared for everything this man was going to give you tonight. “Haitham,” you cry over and over, his name a mantra and prayer.
When he leans back, you catch a glimpse of the sheen on his chin and the way his eyes remain focused on your arousal, pupils blown. “You taste so good,” he compliments, his voice somehow having dropped an octave lower. “Could eat you out for hours. So good for me, fuck.” It’s dangerous how much you love to hear him curse, knowing that you are the reason why. The rational, feeble, well-spoken scholar, his prose extending to situations such as now, is almost reduced to such crude and filthy vocabulary.
Alhaitham would need to be blind to miss your sticky precum practically spilling from your core after what he said. It’d be a shame to let any of it go to waste, he muses, as he drags his tongue up the length of your cunt and pays attention to your clit again. He watches for every reaction, what makes you tug him closer, what makes your body twitch and convulse, what causes the shakiest exhales from your lungs, what contributes to your squeals and cries – he wants you to get a taste of just how unhinged he becomes in your presence.
Each moment of friction, so wet and slick, against your core seems to send you further and further into oblivion. Tears overflow when your heart bursts and Alhaitham doesn’t miss them – the sheen sliding down the sides of your face shines in the moonlight and he knows there is no reason to fear you’re in pain. He drinks in your moans and feels your fingers tangle further in his silver strands, nails scraping lightly against his scalp, your hips with a mind of their own as you grind against his tongue and nose to chase your release. Alhaitham pays no mind to the way his cock twitches once more in his pants or the unmistakable wet spot that’s formed from his own precum.
The coil in your abdomen wounds tighter and tighter. There is nothing on your mind but the man between your legs and your impending orgasm, one with an intensity you haven’t experienced in ages. “ ‘m close,” you gasp and meet his burning gaze. “Please, wanna cum – yes – please, sir–”
How he doesn’t cum in his pants at the title is beyond his comprehension, but the stroke to his ego is welcoming, to say the least. Alhaitham never felt any type of way when others addressed him as so, sometimes annoyed even, but from you? It is everything. A verbal indication of relinquishing your power to him, your existence at its highest vulnerability, the underlying respect, the implicit trust hidden between three letters – only has him pushing down harder against your thighs, leaving no room for you to fight. The resolve and determination to have you cum on his tongue only increases and his thoughts plunder further into hell. Cum for me, cum on my tongue, let me taste your release that I give you, so fucking addictive – his silent commands painted on your tight bundle of nerves.
With Alhaitham exercising a dizzyingly sinful strength against you, leaving you helpless and defenseless, you let yourself succumb as your heart rate increases. Your breathy warnings and pleas, the oh fuck!s, the whimpering sir!s, confessions of love on the tip of your tongue – you have one minute, moment of clarity when your body freezes, and the coil snaps.
You don’t think you’ve ever cum so hard before, reality-shattering, nerves on overdrive, your body trembling beneath his palms as you ride out the pleasure for as long as you can. The quiet scream from your lungs is inevitable as it dissolves into sobs and Alhaithm follows you when your hips buck. There’s not enough oxygen for you and you can feel the visceral clenching of your abdomen as you fight for air and some semblance of control again – but that flies out the window when, for the first time tonight, Alhaitham slides his tongue inside your quivering cunt.
Said Scribe cannot help but groan, and he wishes he’d done this earlier. To feel your creamy walls squeeze as his taste buds slide amongst them, your keening ringing in his ears, the shaking of your thighs a prisoner between his fingers, the intoxicating taste of your cum – all of it is more than he could have ever dreamed of. Right where he wants you, and all his, his, his.
The incessant tugging of his hair tells him to stop for now, as much as he doesn’t want to. If it were up to him, he’d have you cumming on his tongue for hours, his hard cock be damned. But your convulsions of overstimulation manage to generate the slightest bit of sympathy and he laments when pulling away. His eyes hone in on the way your pussy contracts around nothing, almost begging for something to fill you again. “Good girl,” he praises, tenor delicate and charming, as he rubs gentle circles on your abdomen in an attempt to ground you. There are stars in your eyes, and he waits for you to come back to him.
You barely register Alhaitham’s hand on your body as you stare up at the ceiling, brain and soul somewhat disconnected due to the high of your orgasm. So good to me, your thoughts coo. Haitham, sir, how can I show my gratitude to him?
“Y/N,” and at last, you make eye contact with him. He preens at the blissed out look on your face and moves forward until he’s lying next to you, his weight supported on one arm while the other brushes away your baby hairs. A dreamy smile graces your lips, and he can’t help but lean forward for a soft kiss. Languid, sensual, pliant – several minutes fly by as you bask in each other’s presence until the need for more begins to bloom again. Alhaitham lets out a chuckle when he feels your hand wandering down his frame until it rests on his crotch. Making out with you has kept him semi-hard, and he’s happy you’re taking the initiative. Not that you’re in control, by any means, but it’s cute that you might think so.
Your mind reels from just how big he feels beneath your palm. You can’t deny the times when you’ve sneaked glances at his crotch, his tight pants outlining a slight bulge from day to day – but you never thought your fingers would be splayed so far apart, and you just know they would struggle to meet when gripping his length. Your whines reach his ears as you fumble with the clasp above the zipper, and Alhaitham is so kind, kind enough to take over and do it for you. Seconds later, his pants and underwear join the pile of forgotten clothes, and you immediately look down at what you’ve been waiting for.
The instant pooling of saliva in your mouth is embarrassing, shame and lust spilling into your chest and through your veins. Alhaitham’s cock is so beautiful, just like the rest of him, and you’ve never wanted something in your mouth so bad. It twitches under your reverent gaze, and the tip glistens with his precum. Even the noticeable veins drawn along his length are beautiful, and his balls seem to be engorged, heavy with cum. You prove your earlier hypothesis when you hold it in your hand, and your fingers truly do not meet around the circumference. A gush of slick leaks and paints your inner thighs, your hand seemingly tiny in comparison as you slowly stroke him.
Alhaitham hisses at your touch, so cold against the heat of his cock. There’s a passing thought of wanting to keep that fawning look on your face at all times, the metaphorical hearts in your eyes with his dick in your hand. In a moment of weakness, the thought begins to spiral into darker fantasies, how to keep you hooked and dependent on him, his cock, his mouth, his touch. A flash of a daydream crosses by of him sitting in his office chair, you on your knees between his legs, his shaft bullied deep in your throat as you keep it warm for him, drool and spit spilling from the corner of your lips, so submissive and desperate for him to fuck your face–
Your thumb glosses over his frenulum and he is ripped from his reverie. At risk of cumming too quickly, he thinks of how to keep your soft hands away for now. What can he use? How can he restrict you?
Ah.
Confused whimpers follow after him when he abruptly stands up from your bed and walks over to the pile of discarded clothes. You miss the warmth of his body next to you, goosebumps from the sudden chill rising on your skin. But before you can begin to chase after him, he returns to sit on the bed and beckons for you to sit up for him.
He loves how willing you are to obey him, your eyes wide and a little awestruck as you follow his gesture – almost as if he were your puppeteer. Alhaitham holds out his hands in front of him, palms facing the ceiling, and you match the posture with intrigue painted across your face. As you wait, clarification comes to you when he reveals the patterned, teal sash that usually encompasses his hips. Slow, deliberate movements as he wraps the cloth around your wrists (in case you don’t want it because he would never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with), indicate this uncharted territory. And when the tie is made and the knot is pulled tight, you look up at him.
“Is this okay?” He asks. When you give a mute nod, he clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Words, Y/N.”
“I-I’m sorry,” you stammer. “Yes, sir, it’s okay.”
Alhaitham watches as you lay back until your head meets the pillow, and your bound wrists lay prettily above your head. Your constrained and exposed body greets him. He sees your eyes strain to catch another glance at his cock, and the smirk on his lips is nothing but smug as he gives it a few quick pumps as a gift to you.
“Can you come here?” You plead because you know there’s no room to make any demands, and it’s his turn to be curious. Nevertheless, he resumes his original position by your side, but you shake your head. You can tell he doesn’t know what’s happening, but you are feeling shameless and powerless, at the mercy of this man, and you want him to really, really, drive that point deeper.
“Can you…straddle me? Like above my chest though?”
If this is going where Alhaitham thinks it’s going, he might just abandon the Akademiya altogether, whisk you away to his house, kick out Kaveh and have him live in your apartment instead, and keep his own doors locked for eternity. He does as you ask as he thrums in excitement, his cock weighty and leaking when you’re satisfied with where he is.
Time slows to a crawl as he watches you lift your head up with your pretty mouth open and take the tip of his cock between your glossy lips.
The tight heat is maddening, a strangled “fuck” falling off his tongue, and you push forward to take more of his length in your mouth. So dutiful and loyal, you have proven yourself, as you suck his cock with your eyes closed and moans vibrating around him. Given certain physical limitations, there’s only so much you can take in, which is where he believes it’s his time to act his part. He places a hand on the back of your skull to provide you some relief, but also to sink deeper down your throat. Naturally, you fall back until it’s just the head between your lips again, but he is right there to drag you back towards him and fill your depraved mouth.
“Look at you,” he hisses, controlling your pace. Such a good little fucktoy, no?  “Who knew you would want my cock so badly? For me to sit on top and watch as you struggle to even take half of it in your mouth? I don’t think you have any idea of what you’ve started. Your lips are stretched so wide, but just wide enough for me to fit perfectly in between them, like it was made for me. Maybe that’s what it is.” His perverse thoughts run wild without any composure or filter, and he is unable to hold it in. “You were made for me and my cock, and– oh fuck – it seems like you love the idea of being my personal cocksleeve.”
Your eagerness to please him increases as you strain to take more in, his tip slipping into and catching the back of your throat. The sound of you choking on his cock rings in your ears, sending you further and further into oblivion. Every word from Alhaitham sounds true, and he’s right – right that maybe you were specifically made for him, his own blessing from the Archons, and right that you deeply, painfully, love the idea of letting him use you as he wishes. A garbled cry, followed by more sticky release dripping from your cunt, doesn’t go unnoticed when his voice sounds ragged on the word “cocksleeve.” It’s a lascivious tone of accord and approval, and your tears flow when he pulls you as far down his length as your quenched throat allows, your chained wrists resting atop your skull, and he keeps you there.
“This is what you want, isn’t it?” He asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. “I have no objections to fully commit to being yours, your sir. But you must understand I expect the same commitment in return. This cock is yours,” Alhaitham promises, relishing in your muffled whimper of agreement. “And you are mine. My,” – a pause – “personal, depraved, slut.”
At first, he worries he might have gone too far with such a derogatory term, but they are all dashed aside when he watches your eyelids flutter closed and eyes roll into the back of your head. A long whine sends him into overdrive, and even more so when you try to fit more of his cock down your throat. Expletives slip from his tongue as he pulls you away completely, a tendril of saliva connecting your lips to his tip, your mouth still wide open while gasping for air. He sees your own tongue peek out and rest on your bottom lip, pliant and waiting for him to return.
Alhaitham lets go of your skull and watches you fall back to your pillow. He moves your tied hands above and over your head until they settle right above your belly button. The position allows him to trap your arms beneath him and move just a little further up the bed for the bottom half of his length to weigh heavily on your eager mouth. It remains open as he drags his shaft along your tongue, teasing you by slipping the head of his cock in your mouth. Your lips immediately close around it, but they are no match for when he pulls away, and you’re left empty once again.
“Truly a cockslut,” he chides as his hand takes a hold of his length and smacks it against your tongue. “You’ll take everything I give you, won’t you?” And he smirks when you nod, still beckoning, still waiting. “You’ve done well for me so far. Perhaps I should give you a gift.”
There’s little time to regain your senses when he shoves his length in until it hits the back of your throat once more and grabs onto your headboard. Just that angle gives him enough leverage to fuck your face as he pleases.
“If your mouth is this tight, I can only imagine what your cunt will feel like on my cock,” he grits out. Your brain goes numb as you take it all in, content and satisfied to please Alhaitham. You focus on making sure your teeth don’t drag against his skin, tongue swiping patterns and circles around his cock when possible. “I’ll need to take my time stretching out your tiny pussy, won’t I? Fuck, need to make it fit inside you. Isn’t that right?”
Alhaitham pretends to be dissatisfied with your moan, all garbled and thick with drool. “How many times do I need to tell you to use your words?” He teases, knowing full well there’s no way for you to form any right now. But a wicked, joyous laugh rings in your ears when he can tell you’re attempting to do it anyways. It goes straight down his dick and into his balls, and as they tighten further, he knows he’s close.
You don’t know how it’s possible for him to grow any thicker, but somehow it happens when his pace increases, and he tells you, “I’m going to cum, okay? Going to give you all my cum, make you my cumslut. You want to be my cumslut, you’re doing so well, so perfect, letting me fuck your mouth. Shit, cumming, cumming –!”
At the very last second, he pulls out and furiously pumps his cock, shifting back just in time for his cum to paint your breasts. “Fuck!” He growls and rides out the high until there’s nothing left to give you, blinding light beneath his eyelids before he snaps them open so he can watch you become covered by his release. Viscous, white ropes paint over you, some even landing on your cheek and neck. His chest heaves and his eyes remain unfocused from the fog in his brain.
That is, until he watches you swipe his cum from your neck with your fingers before it drips onto the bed, and place them in your mouth. Your sigh screams content as you lick them clean, and as far as he can tell, you’re enjoying the taste of him – as if he was the one to sate your thirst rather than the other way around. In a trance, he joins you in your meal by feeding you more with his own appendages, and his dick returns to half-mast once all the cum is visibly gone and slid down your throat.
“Thank you for your cum,” you say, your voice dreamy and euphoric. Alhaitham pulls you by your bound wrists again until you’re sitting up close enough, and buries his head into your shoulder, embedding his own kisses of gratitude into your skin. It doesn’t matter that there’s dried spit on your chin and your hair is a mess – you’re still so incredibly stunning to him.
To look into your eyes, to cradle your face in his palm, to ghost his thumb over your cheekbone, how lucky he is to be in a position to even ask you, “Was that okay?”
“Very,” you smile, unabashed and clearly happy with everything that had just happened. A small giggle slips out as well.
“Good,” he murmurs after kissing your forehead. “Would you be open to one more round? It seems I haven’t gotten enough of you.”
You see the evidence of his claims, how his cock gradually grows and rises under your watchful stare. His earlier words of needing to stretch you out before he can fuck you play in your head, and they remind you of just how wet you are. Still tied up, you scoot back away from him until you can stretch your legs out, parted to reveal what you so desperately wanted to touch as his dick was lodged in your mouth. Alhaitham’s pupils dilate and zero in on the mess between your thighs, and he chases after you to spread your legs farther.
“You became this wet from me fucking your mouth?” His fingers slide against the folds of your puffy cunt, your clit peeking out and swollen. “Tsk, all this pre gone to waste,” and you whimper when his nails barely graze that bundle of nerves, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. There’s no resistance when he works his middle finger inside you and your breath hitches. He turns his wrist as he fingers you, creating more and more arousal coursing through your veins. Alhaitham is proud that one finger of his affects you so. You whine and reach for him with grabby hands, managing to latch onto his wrist so he can keep his appendages buried inside you. “My my,” he teases, and his fingers curl, searching and searching until his fingertip taps against the exact spot that makes your back arch.
“You’re so eager to be filled,” Alhaitham taunts as he lubes up his ring finger with your slick. You feel even tighter when it slips in with his middle finger, and he finds that spot again in no time, already having memorized where it is. “You don’t have my permission to cum yet,” he warns, a decision just made when your walls are really beginning to clench around him.
“B-but–”
A third finger joins in, cutting you off from any protesting. “You either cum on my cock or not at all,” he offers and you think it’s beyond cruel. Why can’t you cum on his fingers and his cock?
With every last thread of your existence, you stamp down the growing desire to cum again. It feels like hours have passed, your sanity barely intact, when Alhaitham hums, just loud enough to be heard amongst your moans and whines. “I’m beginning to question whether I truly am too big for you,” he contemplates out loud. “What do you think, Y/N?”
It’s so hard to answer his question when you’re using everything else inside you to not break around his fingers. The depraved squelching of your slick only adds fuel to the fire in your core, and you’re trying to think, you really are–
The friction ceases, and before you can even address it, there’s a light, punishing slap across your clit. “Fuck,” you whimper, throat dry.
“Answer my question. Do you think I might not fit inside you?”
You know what answer he’s looking for. You know he wants you to surrender to his hidden intentions, that, “It doesn’t matter,” and you swallow. “I will…make it fit.”
In turn, he removes his fingers with care, but leaves you horribly empty with the void expanding into your chest. “Do you have a condom?” Alhaitham asks while looking around your bedroom.
“The bottom drawer on the right in the bathroom.”
Your sir leans forward to place a gentle kiss on your stomach. “I will return soon.”
For the seconds that you try to catch your breath, to calm your beating heart, to ignore the vacuity between your legs, you realize just where you are and who you’re with. You haven’t had much of a clear mind since the second he knocked on your window, caught up in the whirlwind of your nerves and paranoia – and then to have it turned on its head where you now lay in your bed, free of any prior anxiety, and drown in your lust.
Alhaitham wanders back into your room, focused on the package in his hand. Shameless and perverse, your eyes drink in his length, bobbing with each step. Even you’re beginning to doubt your ability to take him all in, but the anticipation, the threads of excitement that you may be filled again clouds over everything else.
“Hold your legs for me,” he commands gently, and you obey once he unties the sash around your wrists. Your arms hook beneath your knees so that everything is displayed and exposed to him. He sets the condom to the side when he shuffles closer so his hips meet the bottom of your thighs. Your breath hitches when he presses his cock onto your abdomen, and it pleases both of you so much to see that his tip just about reaches your belly button. “Look at how deep it’ll be inside you,” he coos, your whine following. “But it’s okay if you can’t take it all, you can’t help it that your little cunt is so tight.”
There’s a twinge of faux disappointment in his words. As if on instinct, you shake your head in vehement disagreement. “I’ll make it fit, sir, I promise,” you gasp and pull your legs closer to you. “We have to make it fit.”
“Mmm, my eager cocksleeve,” he responds with mirth, his regales washing away the panic from your system. You wait with bated breath as he grinds the underside of his entire length against your glistening folds, purposely catching onto your clit when possible. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand the torture, becoming wetter and wetter with each glide. “The color system is okay to check in with you?”
“Yes.”
He nods and leans back so the tip of his cock is just outside your entrance. His fingers roll and stretch the condom down his length. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to tear his gaze away from your core so he can obtain your consent to start, and the determined nod he receives sets his heart aflame.
A sinful perversion enters his mind as he watches your messy cunt split open and stretch over the head of his cock. He thinks about the future and wonders when the day will be for you to be in his lap and sink down his cock with no hesitation. His thumbs spread your folds further apart so he can get a better look, his lustful illusions from many lonely nights finally coming into play. Your breathy gasp when the head pops in is alluring, and he craves more of it. That perversion echoes its lack of satisfaction, that this is not enough, and he needs it all. Pride fills his chest as you take the first few inches with no problem, trying to take deep breaths as he continues to bully his way into your pussy.
Though internally, your mind is on the verge of breaking from how thick Alhaitham is. The emptiness from earlier has long been fulfilled, and you take a look to see that he’s barely fit half oh him inside you, and you already feel so full.
You were made for me.
I was made for him, you remind yourself, rationality thrown out the window because serving Alhaitham is all that matters in this moment. He’s giving you his cock, taking his time for you, providing a subtle reminder of just who you will belong to from here on out. Alhaitham has been so kind to you, you think. The least you could do is to be his good little slut, so eager and always yearning for him.
“You’re doing so well,” Alhaitham praises, though his voice chokes. You’re terribly tight around him, so much so that he wonders if he would even be able to pull out once he’s buried all of himself inside you. It wouldn’t be much of a problem, he thinks, to have you stuck on his cock for eternity, fucked dumb with nothing on your mind but him and pleasure. His hand puts the slightest pressure on your abdomen, but it’s enough for you to break with an “oh!”
“Fuck, I can almost feel myself inside you,” he marvels. “Color?”
It takes you a few seconds to process his question. “Green,” falls off your tongue with a whimper. But the bit of hesitation is enough for Alhaitham to stop in his tracks.
“Y/N, look at me.”
A dreamy hum on your lips, your blown out eyes meet his, and he realizes how far gone you are. “We can stop, it’s okay if we do.” But that may have been the wrong thing to say because your face falls, tears prickling your eyes. “I can do it,” you sniffle. “Please, sir.”
There is no way for him to remain unaffected by the way you address him, but he ensures to take extra care for the last few inches.
“You’re doing so well, taking all of me in. You’re keeping your promise, I’m so proud of you,” Alhaitham coos. The bottom of his shaft is just a little bit thicker, and you let out a happy squeal when your cunt stretches as much as it can to accommodate him. His tip barely grazes your cervix, and through your floaty thoughts, you almost wish it was deeper. The groan from Alhaitham as he bottoms out provides you comfort. It can only mean that you’re making him feel good, and that you did manage to have him fit inside you. So pleased with yourself, your pussy clenches around him and coaxes for more, for his cum.
If Alhaitham didn’t have better control of himself, he would’ve cum right then and there. Buried deep inside you, warm velvety walls sucking him in – it’s hard to believe that this is really happening. The person he loves is in his arms, joined with him in the most intimate way known to mankind. He never wants to leave you, leave this, yet his cock begs for friction. Your adorable whine of protest as he slides out a couple inches beckons him to return, and return he does as you let out a sound of pure satisfaction.
“Loveyou,” your words slurred together and fuzzy. “Love, love your cock, please, wan’ more, please?”
Archons, how are you so perfect for him? Alhaitham sets a steady, moderate pace and focuses on you, ensuring that you’re okay and pleased. It seems there’s a permanent grin on your face, even when you gasp or scream, and he’s determined to keep it there. When you seem completely accustomed to his pace, his strokes become longer and more indulgent. “Fuck,” you cry each time he fills you up with more and more of his cock with each stroke. His thumbs rub circles into your clit and drive you closer to your peak – you don’t know if you’re ready to cum yet, or if you want this to end. You don’t, but you’re so close–!
“Such a good girl for me – your little cunny was really made for my cock. There’s no one else for me, just you, pretty girl,” he breathes, seeing the hesitation on your face as your walls clench tighter than before. “I know you’re gonna cum soon, I want to see you cum on my cock. Can you do that for me?”
Anything he asks for, you would go to great lengths to give him what he wants. So if he wants you to cum, then you have to. You nod with a pout on your face, but Alhaitham leans forward, pushing your legs back further as he reaches to kiss the pout away. “That’s my good girl, so perfect.”
He pulls out completely, but why?
Alhaithm grabs and maintains eye contact with you for two agonizing seconds, and then commands you to, “Cum for me.”
And you do just that when he slams his entire length inside you as soon as those words leave his lips.
Alhaitham basks in your scream and sobs, your body convulsing and trembling beneath him, your walls an impossible vice around his cock. He grinds against you to go as deep as he can, “fuckfuckfuck”, and a growl buried in your neck as he cums. In your high, you think you can feel the heat and its spasms of it all, passively wondering what it would feel like to have him cum inside you without a condom. Perhaps one day you’ll be granted a nice little breeding session, but that is neither here nor there.
Alhaitham plants pecks and kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, smiling when your little giggles reach his heart. If anything, he’s just happy that everything turned out okay and didn’t end up in a disaster like last time. As he observes the serenity gracing your complexion, he cannot contain his affection any longer.
“Thank you…for having me.” I love you.
Another giggle. “I love you, too, Haitham. A lot.”
You’re kindly gifted a most adoring eskimo kiss. “I need to get you cleaned up, so I need to pull out, okay?”
The pout returns despite your agreement, and Alhaitham spends much needed time to pull out without you breaking. The devil on his shoulder protests otherwise, as it attempts to coax him into keeping you speared on his cock for the night, or more. Your whine of loss tugs at his heartstrings and feeds into his greed, and he embraces you once more to keep you grounded. Slowly, but surely, you return to your senses. Alhaitham is heavy and sweaty against you, but it’s more than you could ask for. A few taps on his shoulder are enough to tell him that you’re back on the same plane of reality with him, and he dives in to kiss you again, painting compliments and praises of how amazing you were along your lips.  
Alhaitham then sweeps you off the bed, into his arms, and takes hurried steps towards the bathroom. You’re like a delicate flower with the way he places you on the toilet, and he reminds you of the importance of peeing after sex. Your privacy is granted when he leaves to remove and tie off the condom to discard it in the kitchen trash can, and later returns with a warm, wet towel. He waits until you’re back in bed and comfortable before he tenderly wipes away any excess fluids and leaves it on your nightstand before cuddling next to you. You turn towards him and burrow into his chest, content as his arms embrace you with an air of security and protection.
He mumbles something into your hair, but you’re out before you can even think to ask what he said.
-
When you finally come to, you can’t remember the last time you slept so well. No tiresome dreams, no sporadically waking up in the night – weeks out in the nature with Lumine had turned you into a light sleeper, and you missed this feeling of being so well-rested.
But the soreness in your thighs screams otherwise, and you wince when they refuse to cooperate. A muscular arm rests around you as if it has always belonged there. At first you question why it’s there, but then your brain decides to wake up and remind you just exactly of what transpired last night. Despite the mixture of shock and embarrassment (mainly at just how wanton you acted), you look up from where you are buried into Alhaitham’s chest. Somehow, you’re surprised to see him already awake. Well, surprised may not be the right word. But the clear adoration in his eyes is unmistakable, seizing and pulling on your heartstrings.
Alhaitham quite enjoys watching you think and process, imagining the fine-tuned gears and cogs in your brain working in overdrive. He remains silent as he smooths out some of the tangles in your hair, and he patiently waits to hear from you. You two had already experienced many hours of quietude before, so this was nothing new for him. There are very few moments in his life when he’s felt this serene and content, half-naked and you pressed against him, both drinking in each other and the light of day coming from your window. He could get used to this. He wants to get used to this.
“You’re making me breakfast in bed,” you decide with your first words of the day, grumbling with a pout on your face. “I don’t think I can walk properly.”
The former scribe arches a perfect silver brow, but the shit-eating smirk stretching along his face is anything but confusion. He knows exactly what you’re implying, and he’s quite satisfied with himself for causing such a situation. Perhaps he should do it more often.
“That I can do,” he agrees, his morning voice deep, yet full of mirth. After a quick kiss on your forehead, he rolls out of bed to do just as you command.
The growl from your stomach prevents you from calling him back because you’re cold now. A shiver runs down your spine as you tighten the blanket and sheet around you, tucking some beneath your chin in an attempt to trap whatever warmth you have left. But when you catch a hint of Alhaitham’s lingering scent, you feel yourself immediately calm down and breathe evenly. The gentle cluttering from your kitchen provides another layer of security as well.
Lost in your basking, you’re quite startled when you feel Alhaitham’s lips on your cheek, a tray in his hands with a light, yet nutritious breakfast arranged. But as you continue to lay there, he can’t help but laugh.
“Do you need help sitting up?”
“No.”
“Don’t be stubborn.”
You do, in fact, need his strength to sit up comfortably against some pillows. The embarrassment hasn’t quite worn off by the time he slides back underneath the sheets to sit next to you, an arm slung over your shoulders as you eat. But in seconds, it dissipates, and is replaced with something akin to love. For you both to finally be here, together as if you two have been dating for years, is exactly the outcome you have been wishing for.
“You know,” he starts before being interrupted by a forkful of food shoved into his mouth, courtesy of you. “You’re a perfect reason why I can finally kick Kaveh out of my home.”
You swat his shoulder with your free hand. “That’s so mean!”
“He can just move in here. I’m not that heartless to leave him homeless. Is that what you think of me?”
You answer without hesitation, “Yes.”
With the hand hanging off your shoulder, his nails scrape lightly in retaliation against the skin beneath your collar bone.
“If I recall, I was pretty fair with you last night,” he murmurs into your hair. “Perhaps I need to remind you just how fair when you’re done with breakfast.”
And you’ve never finished a meal so quickly.
fin.
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hongism · 7 months
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DJANGO. - s. mingi (m)
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➼ genre; smut ➼ pairing; mingi x fem!reader ➼ au; outlaw/hitman!mingi, dystopian futurism, lore accurate ateez ➼ warnings; explicit smut ➼ rating; m/18+ ➼ wc; 3.7k
Top shelf bourbon, no ice, and an orange peel over the rim of the glass. You only like the taste when it comes from his lips.
part of the outlaw miniseries.
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➼ smut warnings; piv, unprotected sex, biting, marking, rough sex, choking (unsafe practices used pls don’t do!), pain kink/play, slight blood play, creampie, pet names: darling & angel
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He comes into the bar as you’re wiping down the counter. One small glance at him would be enough to tell you where he’s been — the sweat on his brow under the brim of his cowboy hat is a dead giveaway for sure — but you don’t even need that much to know. A smell comes with him, one that you aren’t fond of but have grown used to in the time you’ve known this man, and that’s the lingering sulfuric scent that wafts into the bar with him. It clings to his leather jacket like a second skin by now. Perhaps part of you should be flattered that he comes to you after a hit, but then again this bar is all but his home, so you’re simply in a convenient place at a convenient time every time he returns.
“Want your usual?” you ask despite it being well past closing time. Preferential treatment for someone you’re quite fond of, and also on account of the man currently stationed on the roof seizing ownership of the bar prior to you being hired. Turning back, you pull a glass tumbler from the shelf without waiting for his response, affirmed by nothing more than a grunt as he comes to sit down at the bar. “How were things tonight?”
“Have you been waitin’ long?” Mingi asks in lieu of answering, and you smile to yourself.
“Hm, no, I wouldn’t say so. I had ample time to clean everything and wonder about when and how you would come in, so I’d say that’s time well spent.”
“And how exactly did you think that’d go down?” Sometimes you wonder if Mingi genuinely wishes to know your thoughts or if it’s simply a desire to prolong the conversation. Either way, he watches you with such rapt focus that you feel heat on the back of your neck from the scrutiny.
Top shelf bourbon, no ice, and an orange peel over the rim of the glass. Setting the drink down before him on the counter, you lean hard on the wood as your eyes squeeze shut.
“You come with your big cowboy hat with that gun slung around your arm, and you come up to me right here at the bar and you dip your hat like such a fine gentleman before saying 'How're things 'round here these days ma'am?'." You open your eyes and smile wide at Mingi. "Is that a sufficient enough fantasy for you?“
He dips his chin as one side of his lips pulls up to form a misshapen grin.
“I missed a shot tonight.” The shock reads on your face too quickly for you to conceal comfortably, even as you duck your chin and clear your throat to play it off, Mingi stares at you the same. “He clipped my arm before taking one between the eyes.” You blink down to his sleeves, noting the singed leather on his upper left arm that shows clear signs of damage. There are bandages underneath — or at least you’re assuming them to be bandages, it’s difficult to tell with how scarlet stains them. You move without saying a word in response, and Mingi shifts to follow your movements with his gaze, dedicated to the point of rotating his body as you go. “Nothin’ too terrible, darling. I already patched it up just fine on my own.”
“You go out and get fucking shot,” you hiss through gritted teeth just as you come around the edge of the bar, “then waltz back here acting a damn fool?” Mingi spreads his legs the moment you come up to him, effectively letting you press even closer to him when your hands grab for the collar of his jacket.
“I wanted to see you,” he murmurs, eyes wandering all over your face. “Wanted to fuck you.”
“Mingi.” You pull his jacket down to his forearms as the noise of exasperation leaves your lips.
“What’s so wrong about that?” he asks in return, hand wandering from the counter to find a new home on your hip. His hand is large and warm and proves to be quite distracting when he starts to let his thumb run along the sliver of bare skin he can now reach. You don’t opt to answer his nonsensical question in favor of working the jacket off his shoulders and exposing bare arms and a skimpy leather vest that leaves fairly little to the imagination. Your focus remains strong though, and you hone in on the cloth bound around his bicep. The area is relatively clean aside from the bandage, to your surprise. Mingi reaches up to lay a hand over the one you still have clenched around his sleeve. “Cleaned and dressed it already, angel. Stop worrying that pretty little head of yours for a second and let me see you smile.”
“Don’t let my drink go to waste and let me actually clean this shit first. Then you can have both those things.” You pull away to find the nearest first aid kit just for Mingi to snag your belt loop and pull you back to him.
“And something extra?” His lips are chasing yours already; you push the tip of your index finger to them before he can get any closer. One kiss will be more than enough to distract you from the task at hand, which is like what he is aiming for knowing how Mingi is. Despite the less-than-stellar circumstances, you do find his cheeky grin endearing more than you find it infuriating, which means you only leave his side with a roll of your eyes and not any more snippy remarks.
He sits still and sips at the drink you prepared for him while watching you work. It feels like a bit of a rhythm that you fall into — pulling the first aid kit out, taking what you need from it, returning to Mingi’s side in little to no time — and you’re somewhat grateful for him allowing quiet to hang about the bar because it means you can clean his wound without distraction on his part. It truly isn’t a terrible injury, just as he had claimed (but you aren’t about to admit that to his face, otherwise you won’t hear the end of it for the next three weeks at minimum). However, he did not dress it well in the slightest and if he did clean it, then he did not do a thorough enough job by your standards.
Mingi’s glass is empty by the time you finish wrapping a fresh and proper bandage around his arm, securing it in its place with a strip of medical tape. You lean back to admire your handiwork that’s far and away better than what you started with. Mingi twists to look over it as well.
“Not half bad, huh?” you quip, nudging his knee with your hip before turning to return everything to where you dragged it from. Mingi’s fingers pinch and hook on the fabric of your front pocket first. In one quick motion, he spins you back to face him, though now he’s gotten to his feet and presses so close to you that you come face to face with his torso.
You get your first taste of him tonight right then when he dips down to capture your lips with his. Bourbon and orange sit heavy on his tongue as he licks into your mouth, and you drink in the taste. Like you’ve been starved of the taste for eons, like you’ve been searching for an oasis in the midst of a desert and he’s the last source of water on the planet. You laugh against his lips at the thoughts running through your mind at present — they sound more like the sweet nothings and pillow talk he would whisper to you before falling asleep under the stars than thoughts of your own.
Mingi shifts his weight against you and diverts all your thoughts towards other, much larger, and much more prominent things. Namely what’s pressing hard into your hip through his leather pants and making itself very known to you.
“Eager much?” you murmur, lips pulling up at the corners. Mingi’s hands move to the bar counter and cage you in against the wood. A shaky breath escapes you, one of anticipation and budding arousal. As the air from your lips fans out across Mingi’s sharp features, he leans in and catches skin between teeth, nipping and tugging hard enough to sting. First at your already swollen lips, then lower just below your jaw, again and again on the way down your neck until he’s satisfied to pause at your collarbone. He drags teeth over the fragile skin there in a way that makes goosebumps rush over your skin.
Hands scramble to find purchase on each other’s bodies, and when that’s not enough, Mingi settles to sweep his arms wildly behind you on the counter. It sends the first aid kit flying, tipping it over the edge of the bar and making it clatter on the ground. His empty glass follows a similar path and meets a much more brutal fate; it shatters against one of the stools and splays across the floor to your left. The door to the roof bangs open to interrupt the spell placed between your bodies.
“Oi! Quit trashing my fucking glasses unless you're planning on replacing every last fucking one of them!”
The door slams back shut so quickly that you don’t have the opportunity to respond in the slightest, and the shock it leaves with you makes a laugh rip from your lips. You duck your head to rest against Mingi’s shoulder, laughing under your breath as the adrenaline pumps your heart more and more.
“Good to know he’s still alive, I suppose,” Mingi jokes through a laugh of his own, just before you lift your head and reach for another kiss.
“Let’s break some more shit just to piss him off.” Said somewhat as a joke, and other parts a completely serious attempt to weasel your way under Hongjoong’s skin, Mingi ignores that in favor of pulling you away from the bar. His hands pull and tug at your thighs, a clear urging to get you to wrap your legs around his waist, and you give him what he desires so desperately in exchange for a kiss that’s full of teeth and saliva. 
Your hands never settle on any particular part of him for a second longer than needed — you want him in ways that are beyond simple desire, and your eagerness must be evident to some degree based on how Mingi nips at your lower lip. He’s not very gentle in the way he splays you over the pool table, and you narrowly miss the triangle of balls in the center as your head thuds against the surface. Mingi hoists your hips closer to the edge of the table without preamble. Just as you’re reaching down to wrap a hand around the back of his next, aiming for another kiss, Mingi ducks down between your legs. 
“Min—oh.” Your gut tightens and cuts your train of thought short. There’s pressure between your legs and against your sex, even through your pants, you can feel the efforts of his fingers at your clit. You swing an arm wildly around the table in search of something to ground yourself yet all you can hold onto is the border of the table. 
“Want me, angel?” His nails dig into your skin around the waistband of your pants. It’s enough to sting and burn, you tighten your grip on the table as though it’s Mingi you’re grabbing instead, and he lets out a low chuckle that reverberates through you. “Such a pretty little thing you are… letting me have my way with you.”
“I—” air hisses through your gritted teeth as Mingi begins to drag your pants down your legs at an agonizing pace “—I’ll take charge myself if you don’t speed things up a bit, angel.”
He’s laughing again as he stands upright, pants pulled down to your ankles, and he leans over your prone body to look you in the eye. When he speaks again, his breath is hot on your lips.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, y/n. I’m at your mercy whenever you want me to be.” He lowers his face to your neck, teeth snagging the fragile skin there and nipping hard enough to make your body tingle. “You can even have me on my knees if that’s what you want…”
“Mingi.” This time, rather than an attempt to spur him on, your tone begs him to slow down because the mere prospect of what he’s whispering into your skin has your head spiraling. Of course, now, he doesn’t wish to do that. He hooks two fingers around the crotch of your underwear, which in turn causes his knuckles to drag through your sopping folds and give you the slightest bit of stimulation. The weight of his body does nothing to keep you from jolting under him, a startled moan slipping out right against the shell of Mingi’s ear.
“Don’t you feel it, darling?” he murmurs against you as your panties are stripped from your body just as your pants were. “That rush of adrenaline — I’m still feeling the high of that fight and getting shot. Makes me wanna fuck you into oblivion even more than ever.”
“Some wou-would call that insanity, hun.”
“Hm? That I get turned on when it’s a close call?” His arm buckles when he tries to brace himself against the table, and your eyes flit over to the wrapped wound there nervously. Red peeks through the bandages again, yet he doesn’t seem to mind one bit. He notices your focus in an instant, though seems far less concerned than you are. He keeps that arm where it is as he reaches down to his pants and undoes them as best he can with one hand. There’s fairly little effort in that regard, however, because all he does is move them enough to pull his dick out. You barely get a glimpse at what all he’s doing before you feel him against your cunt, nudging between your folds. “Feels even better when I’m hurtin’, angel.”
Mingi rolls his hips forward, but he doesn’t enter you quite yet. His cock thrusts between your folds in a lewd imitation of the real thing. His focus shifts from watching the way his cock pushes against your clit to see your reactions unfold. You sling your arm forward and clench your fingers hard around his forearm.
“You want it to hurt or no?” Mingi asks through a grunt, hand pressed down over where his cock slides against you to form something of a pseudo-hole for him to fuck. 
“No prep, please, just — just go in.” His pace falters slightly at the permission, though the look in his eyes tells you that he wants nothing more than to do that right now. “And come inside, please~” A low blow, perhaps, but you know it’ll knock his evident concerns about your well-being away in full, and it does indeed spur him into action. 
“Grab my arm.”
“I am.”
“Not like that, darling.” Mingi reaches around with his used hand, wet with your arousal and his combined, and he grips your wrist until you let go of his forearm. You don’t realize what he’s wanting until he guides you up to his bicep and places your hand right over his injury. “Hurt me a bit, angel, you know I love it.” You tighten your hold around the bandage just a little. “Don’t be afraid to make me bleed.”
“Mingi,” you exhale, then he’s spreading his fingers around your neck. Your breath hitches in your throat.
“Do you trust me, y/n?”
“Of course.”
“Then hurt me,” he says before lining himself up with your entrance and pushing into you slowly and deliberately. The stretch burns something awful, and it draws a noise that’s more akin to a wail than a lust-filled moan out of you. Surely something your companion upstairs on the roof will overhear and wonder about, but he’s never interrupted beyond a certain point before and you’re confident he won’t now either. Regardless, the thought of Hongjoong is a dwindling one that doesn’t linger long because Mingi fills your senses to the brim, as well as you In the filthiest way you can describe. You’re hardly conscious of how hard you’re clinging to him, but the palm of your hand is wet against his arm, and he’s tensing in your grasp with each passing second. 
There’s something terribly exhilarating about it. You understand, for a moment, that rush of adrenaline he had mentioned not long ago. As your body stretches to form around his length, you find yourself wanting to mold him in similar ways. The pressure on your neck increases bit by bit; Mingi leans further over you and pushes his hand more into your throat. It’s far from safe but it hurts so good that your brain feels fogged already.
“Fuck,” you hear the word slip off Mingi’s tongue once he’s fully buried inside your tight heat, walls firm around his thick cock.
“Don’t make me wait long,” you say back, tone nothing but breathy thanks to the pressure restricting you. 
You had grown up hearing the notion that there is no violence in love, but there is in both infatuation and obsession. Perhaps you and Mingi are living proof of that, with how you exercise your affections onto each other in ways that would be considered sinister to others, but at the end of the day, you two are simply indulging in things that bring you both pleasure. 
Mingi heeds your words so carefully and doesn’t waste a second longer than he has to before he’s beginning to drive his cock in and out of your cunt. You cling to him all the same, only squeezing harder as the ache blooms into something more pleasurable than painful. You still taste citrus on your tongue, a lingering gift from his lips, and your brain hones in on that taste as it becomes harder to breathe under his palm. You’re far from light-headed, especially with how his grip rubs up and down your neck with the force of his thrusts. It will leave marks, perhaps your whole neck will be red as though you’d been scratching at it all night, but you revel in the fact that you will be leaving Mingi will a similar mark. A wound that’s nothing more than a graze across his skin will bloom into something that lasts longer and bothers him a bit more. Perhaps he will be back to you before it’s even healed.
“Mingi,” you moan, chin tipping back further. He’s quiet as always — though only in terms of actual words because his lewd noises don’t cease for a second, and he nearly has you beat with how many groans drip from his lips like sinful honey. You wish to drink it all up, take every noise from his tongue and swallow them with your own until there’s nothing left unshared between the two of you. 
It’s deeply carnal the way he fucks you like he’s clinging to a lifeline, and you feel the urgency in his movements from how his hips snap against your body to how heavy and frantic his breathing has become. Though, you’re no better than he, dancing to the same illicit tune.
Suddenly you can breathe easy again, and you gulp down the air that enters your mouth so greedily that you almost choke on it. Mingi’s hand drags from the column of your throat down your torso until he has his fingers settled against your cunt just above where his dick connects your bodies.
“Come on me, darling, fuckin’ cream all over my dick like you’re made to.” The way he rolls your clit between his fingertips is brutally stimulating. It fills you with such a white-hot pleasure that you’re forced to release his arm in favor of covering your mouth to keep your noises from resonating through the room further. Mingi snatches your arm away in a split second, making sure that all you’re able to accomplish is a quick smear of his blood across your face. He folds himself over your body just as the stimulation sends you over the edge you’re teetering at, and as you unfurl into an orgasm, Mingi is there to drag his tongue across your cheek and jawline. When your back curls off the pool table, he sneaks the hand that was just toying with your clit around your back and holds your body up to his.
The kiss he delivers to your lips is one that’s metallic and wet, but you greet his tongue with your own in a fit of eagerness to feel him further. He hoists you further up until you’re all but seated on his cock. The throb between your legs is still so intense that you don’t notice his dick twitching against your walls, nor do you feel the first spurts of come inside you, but you do notice when Mingi bites your tongue hard enough to make it bleed. You’re still writhing in his grasp when he stops thrusting up into your pussy, and you cling to his face like letting go is simply not an option. 
It hurts when your mouths finally separate because then you feel the throb of the bite on your tongue in full and taste the evidence of it in the back of your throat. 
“Satisfied, angel?”
Your breath intermingles with his, and he’s still chasing your mouth in the hopes of taking another kiss from you. There’s a grin tugging at the corners of your lips as you press your index finger to his chin.
“Not even close.”
He laughs.
“Good, because I’m hardly done with you yet.”
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please like & reblog this work and consider leaving a reply or sharing your thoughts in a reblog or ask!
this work belongs to caly / hongism (2023). do not copy, repost, or plagiarize in any way.
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pixelchills · 8 days
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Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):
(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)
I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.
Intro:
So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...
But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.
My biggest issue with TSAMS:
I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.
My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.
Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).
The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.
I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.
I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.
The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.
Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.
Why I ship Sun and Moon:
Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.
The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.
I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.
But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.
This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.
And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.
Why I stopped watching TSAMS:
And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.
It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.
Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.
I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.
But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.
Fanfics:
It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.
I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.
Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?
The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.
The FIC that is making me question everything:
So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".
I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.
Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.
Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.
I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.
But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.
End words:
I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.
I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.
Thank you.
(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).
-Chill
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I think what pisses me off most about the Wednesday fandom is that so many are intentionally ignoring the fact that Tyler is MEANT to be a tragic character because he is a Hyde. We basically have it beaten over our heads that Hydes are the outcasts of outcasts, deemed too difficult to help, and therefore abandoned and left to their own devices, basically giving them no way to NOT be tortured into being someone’s slave or ultimately having something tragic or awful happen to them that forces out their Hyde and leaving them to become a monster and/or get killed.
So many people blame Tyler for every bad thing that happened in this first season when he LITERALLY had no option but to do exactly as Laurel wished. He was TOLD to go murder the people he murdered, he was TOLD to get Wednesday to trust him, he was TOLD to go after Eugene, he had no CHOICE but to obey, it’s literally in the show’s lore. And we are both told AND shown what lengths Laurel went to to literally torture this teenage boy into becoming a monster that was FORCED to obey her. Not only that, but all that “mama” talk and physical touch is gag-worthy. SHE is the true monster who wanted everyone dead, and she ruined that boy’s life to try and get what she wanted. And the show INTENTIONALLY shows AND tells you all that.
We are SHOWN how Tyler was chained, beaten, poisoned to bring the Hyde out, to become Laurel’s perfect slave. And still so many see HIM as the “true villain,” stating that if he was truly “good” he never would’ve done all he did. Meanwhile the lore has TOLD you, Hydes have no choice. But WAY too many disregard this plot point entirely simply because they see it as something to cling to for their preferred ship to happen. That’s infuriating to me, truly. Not only from a standpoint of really loving Tyler as a character, but also from a standpoint of it being apparent to ME of where the story is going, and knowing that so much of the fandom is gonna be pissed off about it because it’s Tyler-centric.
We are given so much information about “Hydes have been banned from Nevermore for 30 years,” “Faulkner was studying Hydes but he died before he could finish his research,” “nobody knows for sure if, once unlocked, Hydes are only monsters or if the person they were is still in there.” Between all this within the narrative itself and Hunter talking about how he’s excited to explore the duality of the Real Tyler versus the Hyde next season, I think it’s obvious that Wednesday and Tyler are basically going to get to the bottom of this “are Hydes all 100% bad and dangerous” problem themselves, and the result of their research will probably get Hydes accepted back into Nevermore.
Wednesday already knows how unjust the whole system is, she mentions it FREQUENTLY in the first season. Once she gets past feeling betrayed by what happened in season one, it’s likely going to weigh on her that someone she cared about deeply enough to bring her walls down for, to actually seek out to KISS, was so hurt by this system that he ended up doing all he did. And Tyler is inevitably returning, the writers have talked about how we’re going to learn more about Tyler and explore his true feelings for Wednesday. They’ll be brought back together, no doubt. And thus, the deep dive on Hydes will probably begin.
I don’t care what you ship, I don’t even care if you really LIKE Tyler as a character, but I DO care that so many have made him out to be a pure villain simply because that suits their own personal narrative better, and makes them feel like it’s more likely their preferred ship will win the “war.” Like, try and WATCH a show, actually WATCH it, and not simply cling to bits and pieces that suit the storyline you’ve made up in your head. You’re SUPPOSED to hate LAUREL, you’re supposed to, at the very least, wonder if the Real Tyler is still in there, if he can be helped, and you are SUPPOSED to feel some pity for the boy who was forced into becoming an enslaved monster.
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meanbossart · 1 month
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Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition
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Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.
We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.
And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.
[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]
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It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.
Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.
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Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!
For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.
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You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL
And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.
Well.
Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.
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HMMM, I... Don't think so.
He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.
He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL
Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.
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Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO
"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"
And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.
And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:
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This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.
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HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.
A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.
Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.
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He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.
If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.
Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.
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Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.
(Thank you!!!)
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chloedrewitt · 2 years
Text
𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙨 - 𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙪𝙞𝙡 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
summary: You are captured in Mirkwood after you defend yourself from a drunk guard who mistakes you for the enemy, and brought before the Elven King. Due to a misunderstanding, he is expected to punish you, but how could he when you look exactly like his dead wife?
pairing: Thranduil x Reincarnated!reader
word count: 1.9k
warnings: mentions of assault, protective!Thranduil, age gap (MC is an adult)
a/n: just a quick little one shot I had the idea for while watching RoP and reading up on Lotr lore. No smut, just Thrandy reuniting with his wife.
Request status: open [info]
Taglist: @evyiione​​​
If you wish to be added to or removed from the character taglist, please comment underneath this post​.
Masterlist - Ko-fi
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“The Children of Ilúvatar are described as existing in two parts: they have a spirit or soul (fëa) [...], and a body (hröa). [...] When an Elf dies, the fëa leaves the hröa, which then dies. The fëa is called to the Halls of Mandos, where it is judged. If allowed by Mandos, the fëa may be reincarnated into a new-born body that is identical to the previous one.”
- Fëa and hröa, The One Wiki To Rule Them All The grip around your arm was so strong that every time you moved, it hurt. You glared up at the guard next to you, though his gaze was fixed ahead. From where you were kneeling on the floor, he looked four meters tall but you knew this was only due to your perspective. It was dehumanizing, and for the first time, you understood how animals felt shortly before they were slain. 
You were sure this would be your death, too, even though you had not even done anything wrong, at least in your eyes. All you had tried to do was defend yourself from the anger of a drunken guard, but these people seemed to take his word over yours. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the guard bow down deeply as steps appeared in the distance, growing louder with each second that passed. You dared not raise your gaze, so you remained with your eyes locked on the floor, your long hair shielding your face from curious looks like curtains. Not that anyone else was in the throne room, but it was still comforting to know you could hide.
You had never seen the Elven King in person, at least not this close. Most of what you knew was based on stories told throughout the kingdom. Many thought he was the most beautiful of all Elves, others called him cruel and heartless. Though it had not stopped you from wanting to join the guard one day when you were little, but now, as an adult, you realized that it would have only held you back.
The King climbed the stairs to his throne, onto which he lowered himself gracefully, crossing one leg over the other and placing his right elbow on the arm rest. His index finger traced the edge of his jawline as he watched you closely, but you refused to meet his eyes. The guard next to you straightened his back again and increased the grip around your arm even more, which made you growl. 
“Tell me again what happened,” said the Elven King, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine. It was powerful enough to fill the entire throne room, despite there being no walls to separate it from the hallways in the castle. 
“She attacked Erynor while he was on patrol,” the guard replied, giving you a disapproving stare. 
“Unprovoked?” The Elven King tilted his head to the side, his long platinum hair falling around his shoulders. You felt his eyes on you and it almost made you nauseous. 
“Yes.”
“That’s a lie!” You intervened, wanting to stand but the guard forced you back on your knees as soon as you made the attempt. Pain shot through your legs when your knees met the hard floor. “It was self-defense. He-” Your voice cracked, anger clouding your mind. “He was drunk and mistook me for an intruder.” 
You had raised your head by now and were looking directly at the Elven King. But he didn’t answer, he simply stared at you with his lips slightly parted. You, too, stopped in your tracks and tried to sort the unexplainable wave of recognition you felt the moment you properly laid eyes on him. You had never seen this man before, yet you were sure you knew him. 
“This is most likely a lie to protect herself. Erynor is the most honorable member of the guard. He would not be intoxicated while on patrol.” The elf next to you did not seem to notice his king’s sudden change in mood, so he proceeded to talk down on you. It was not hard, given you were a lowly born Elf, left on your adoptive parents’ doorstep when you were but an infant. 
“Let her speak,” ordered the king as he rose to his feet, his eyes still locked on you. You withstood the intensity of his gaze, partly because you couldn’t look away yourself. Only when you felt the guard let go of your arm did you turn your head towards him, rubbing the sore spot where your skin had reddened. 
“I was gathering herbs in the forest. The safe parts of the forest,” you clarified, taking a step towards your king as he slowly descended the stairs. Your eyes met once again. “This… Erynor insisted I was here to collect information on the state of the Woodland Realm, to give to our enemies. I explained to him I was a jeweler’s daughter, here to collect herbs for my ill mother but he did not believe me, especially not in his state.” 
You swallowed, dropping your eyes for a moment. When you looked up again, you saw that the king was standing a few meters in front of you, his height not any less impressive now that he was on the same level as you. The man clasped his hands together behind his back as he nodded towards the guard still standing beside you. 
“Leave us.”
“My lord, are you certain-”
“-she will hardly be a danger to me now, will she?” He asked, sarcasm and annoyance in his voice. The guard gulped. “Leave us.” 
You crossed your arms in front of your chest, studying the king as the guard’s steps slowly faded into the distance. Only when their echo stopped, did the king approach you further until you were closer than you’d deem appropriate. 
“What is your name?” He asked with a gentler voice as he looked down at you. Not in a condescending way, like the guard had, but with curiosity in his eyes. 
“(y/n),” you replied, digging your nails into your still crossed arms. His presence was overwhelming and magnetic. Being this close, you could hardly look away. The corners of his lips sank slightly and he averted his gaze at your answer, disappointment briefly marking his features. You swallowed, not sure whether you had said something wrong.
“Forgive me,” you began hesitantly, drawing his attention back to you, “but have we met? I recognize you from somewhere but I don’t quite know where from.” His eyes widened, making you fear you had somehow offended him by implying someone from low birth as you could have crossed the Elven King before. 
“I meant not to offend you,” you added, a bit too quickly to do so gracefully. 
“Not at all.” His voice was reassuring, and he closed some of the distance between you. His hands lingered in the air, as if he was debating whether it would be appropriate to touch you, but decided against it when he lowered them again. 
The Elven King and you were alone now in the throne room, with only the occasional sound coming from somewhere above you two signaling that the castle was not abandoned. You wanted to say something, but he seemed to go through an internal conflict just by looking at you. 
It took a few moments more, but he caught himself again and exhaled deeply, his features relaxing. “I will have Erynor investigated. Do not stray too far from the palace until then.”
You nodded, rubbing the palms of your hands against each other nervously. Curiosity made you stand still, despite obviously having been dismissed. He had already turned his back on you, ready to return to his throne, when he stopped in his tracks and turned his head to the side. “Is there anything else you wish to say to me?” 
“You know me from somewhere, don’t you?” You asked, hiding your shaking hands behind your back. You had never been one to do as you were told, and sometimes your curiosity got the better of you. Something your adoptive parents had told you to work on. 
When he didn’t answer, you took a step forward. 
“Please,” you said silently, hoping to perhaps find a clue about your roots.
He exhaled deeply, turning slowly to face you again. “I do not wish to burden you with the shadows of the past. It is a weight I must carry alone.” 
But this answer did not satisfy you, so you took another step forward and said, “I carry enough burdens already, one more will make no difference.”
The Elven King chuckled sadly, eyes flickering between yours. “You sound a lot like her.”
“Who?”
“My wife.” A pause followed, but you remained silent. “She died in my arms on the battlefield years ago. Longer than you are alive, I presume.” 
You placed a hand on your side, tears threatening to fall. “How-” Your voice cracked, so you took a deep breath, before you said more loudly, “How did she die?” 
He followed your hand with his eyes and furrowed his thick eyebrows as he took another step towards you. “A sword to her side.” 
You gasped, a tear rolling down your cheek while you dug your nails into the fabric of your dress. Your mother had always joked that it looked like a sword wound, and she had even speculated that you must have been a soldier in your previous life. 
“I have a birthmark there,” you said, voice shaking slightly. “It looks like the wound of a sword.” 
Though no memories came back to you, an overwhelming wave of emotions made it hard for you to think properly. It was as if you and the Elven King shared a connection that had been severed, and was now slowly being restored. You felt the warmth of his hands as they ghosted above your shoulders, which were exposed by the dress you wore. The hairs on your neck stood on end while a single name came to your mind. It was not like you recalled something you had forgotten, but rather an instinct. 
“Thranduil,” you said breathlessly, and you saw that he was barely able to contain himself. His hands found their way to your cheeks, where his thumbs gently caressed your skin. The king’s name was not commonly known across the realm. 
“I thought I lost you,” he whispered, his own eyes becoming glassy. “I was ready to go to war over what you have left me. Thank Mandos for sending you back to me.” His breath brushed your skin, his thumb gently pushing down on your bottom lip before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. 
You felt it then deep in your bones that this was the Elf you loved, despite not having a single memory of him. It stung a little, but you found comfort in the fact that you would make new ones. 
Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you had to stand on your tip-toes to reach his lips, the kiss sending a warm feeling through your body. With flushed cheeks, you pulled away to whisper, “I won’t leave you again.” 
He smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind your pointed ear. It did not take a lot to see how your death in your past life had broken him, but you made a promise to both him and yourself. You never had a home to begin with, perhaps this could be the start of what you’d always longed for.
Then, his eyes darkened and he looked at you with determination. “I will see to it that no one ever touches you again. And those who harm you will pay with their lives.” 
You placed a hand on his cheek, offering him a kind smile. It was tragic how the things we loved the most, and the things we so desperately wanted to be our saviors, often ended up being our greatest ruin. But you decided then and there, that you would not become his. Not ever again.
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