#i say this as someone whos enjoying it despite its lack of content
Note
Hello! Want to double check that I've done a decent job of avoiding disfiguremisia, and try to turn it into great counter to hatred instead of just an okay one.
Preface: I have a form of memory loss and likely brain damage so I cannot always phrase things clearly although I will try my best.
Personally I do not feel happy reading escapist stories as that happy ending is not achievable for real people. We don't get to live in a place that's completely safe and free from judgement. I'd like to write people in a hostile world who find love and safety and community, however this does necessite writing hostility. I want to make sure I'm doing so with care.
I would like to make sure that the hostility written as tension does not tar how I write how one of the main characters. He should be written with dignity and respect even when he is not being treated well by those around him.
One of my characters is blind and develops severe burn scars. He wears a blindfold to help with photophobia and sensory overwhelm, but takes it off when its dim. (CVI plus autism.)
While he does wear a cloth coverings in public due to ugly laws, he views it as a ridiculous requirement and happily removes this mask when with friends. He also enjoys that being visibly strange or somewhat unnerving to most people means that shallow people who judge by appearances avoid him.
Question: what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia? I have him being content with his face as it tells a story of his life and he's a blunt, forward person, not covering his face for most of the story despite laws necessitating that he do so, and a few other things too (and many side characters with facial differences and deformities also).
Also none of the central plotlines centre around facial difference. He's joining a servant rebellion, befriending a bitter exile intent on status at all costs, and discovering the truth of history. (Also a mind controlling octopus being is involved and a semi sentient moon amalgam thing but don't worry about it everything's fine.)
I think later books will be a more effective counter due to lack of ugly laws and him finding a lovely interest. I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world. I want his happy ending to feel real.
I respect the hell out of escapist fantasies it's just that they do nothing for me personally. I really want to write someone dealing with a lot - more than I ever have - and coming out the other end happy. Yes this world is hostile and will judge me but I can find joy despite it all. Some say the world is universally cruel but I have not found this to be the case. It is wise to be wary but myself and friends can create small sections of time and space where no precautions are necessary. Am I not part of the world? Are not they? The world is not universally cruel as long as I and those I treasure live in and we are not extraordinary, simply uncommon, and what is uncommon is still a great bounty. (Something to that effect.)
I'm set on what I want to write but the specifics I'm more than happy to change in order to bring joy. Do you have ideas on how I can do this full idea full justice?
Hello,
before getting to your actual ask, I have a "few" questions about the premise of the story itself.
You mention that you don't like escapist fantasies - that's fair. Taste differs; you can write whatever and that's great. But I do find the insistence to write a story about a specific type of discrimination as an outsider rather strange.
If you want to have facial difference representation, I assume you want to have readers with facial differences, correct? I mean, I don't think that many able-bodied people would be too interested in it specifically considering most don't know what it is. So okay, this is supposed to be a story of characters with facial differences overcoming centuries worth of hatred and all that. Arguably more, considering that disfiguremisia and ableism go all the way back to Biblical times.
Why are you the person who needs to tell this story?
Just as people with facial differences are readers, we can be authors as well. We tell our stories. I will take an #OwnVoices book over a one that isn't that any day, and this fact will influence the rest of this answer. I'm a firm believer in #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs and all when it comes to this stuff.
Have you talked to people with facial differences who would be interested in the kind of story you want to tell? Do you know what they want to see from an author that's not taking it from their own experience? I don't count here, because as I made clear before, I'm not and won't be interested in it. I also don't know anyone in the community who has ever said "I wish more people without our experiences wrote about how hard it is to be us!". You need to make sure there are people who want this.
So, have, or will you, reach out to those that could like it? Sensitivity readers, random people online who like to read about disfiguremisia in their free time, advocates who work on media-centric problems? Anyone who would enjoy it is automatically a better candidate to help than me. I'm too jaded, I suppose.
If you want to talk about people with facial differences in such detail and setting, you need to get to know us. One guy with a specific set of opinions from a blog on Tumblr isn't that (thank god), but I guess I can serve as a reminder that not everyone will be excited to read a book that represents them in some way. We still have preferences.
To write it, you need to involve yourself in the community, start actually spreading activism about our issues. Preach about Face Equality and celebrate when our once-a-year week happens in May. See what disfiguremisia causes. Share our efforts to get all the problematic garbage off the big screen. Read our stories. Understand us as people who are incredibly diverse, and that not all of us like to be described as strange or unnerving.
If you only want to talk about our suffering as some quota to fill on a "types of discrimination" list, it will always be flat and inauthentic, and if you don't put in the effort it's pointless. We don't want tragedy porn, and we don't need to be included in every story about struggles that just wants some brand-new type of bigotry in it. We want authors who care about us, the living and breathing people. And sometimes it might mean respecting our opinions on writing disfiguremisia.
Here is a great post by @writingwithcolor explaining the effects of tragedy exploitation. Not everything there applies, but I would consider it a very valuable read.
If you think about all this, and decide that you are ready to write such a heavy, community-based story, go ahead to...
Actual Answers! Hooray
what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia?
Sympathize with him. Disfiguremisia is a tragedy, it's brutal and it hurts. It's traumatic and impossible to forget, even if it wasn't happening constantly just to remind us that it's still there. On this note, I would recommend you research writing characters with PTSD.
Have him think about it. Sometimes I get home after getting stared down on the street and just want to yell. You don't forget a microaggression or a hate crime after five minutes. Let him vent and let him be upset. He can have flashbacks or recall similar situations that happened in the past.
I'm glad that he's aware of disfiguremisia unlike a ton of characters who are somehow always unable to figure out that it's a problem. If the ableism he's facing is so systemic and severe, individual people will be even more extreme. You can have him remember that the shop owner was a slur-spitting bigot, or that his neighbors avoid even talking to him. I want him to call them out - in retrospective, at the moment, in his head, whatever - on what they're doing. Throw a "not this fucking thing again" or something in there.
The minimum is to make him feel like a human with an internal thought process, who is able to actually experience what's happening to him, and for it to have long-term effects.
Also, outside of the whole disfiguremisia thing and me being overdramatic, check out our #blindness tag, and research burn scar care. If you don't show the boring and mundane, it will only feel closer to tragedy porn; just a sad thing one after another.
I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world.
This I think is the part of the ask that made me the saddest, and not because of what you wrote. I tried to think of achievable ways; ways that we did it, tried to do it, and are doing it, and one-by-one I crossed them out as "didn't work", "no one cared enough" or "kinda worked but honestly, it didn't". Face Equality is basically non-existent, not matter how much it hurts me to admit it! We are trying our best, and it doesn't work. It's just plain hard for me to come up with suggestions for this.
In fiction, I suppose that personal resistance is the way when it comes to this. I don't think there are feasible systemic changes that could happen that don't border on magical thinking or get into the "singular glorious revolution that somehow fixes everything and everyone lived happy ever after. We fixed racism, yay!". This just sucks.He could try to educate the people who are willing to listen - that's somewhat what I'm trying to pull off here on this blog, I guess. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't, but in his situation it wouldn't hurt to try.
The fundamental part here will be whether your character is able to find a way to make the ordinary person care in the end. To me, society who still hates us just as much, with a small group that thinks we're okay isn't a happy ending. The opposite, rather. It's cold and isolating to know only your friends could value you as a human being, and downright sad to imply that we should be happy for that. I don't mean that everyone should love us in every story, but there's a difference between The Ableism being represented by an antagonist or two versus the entire world except for the main characters.
If you decide to go forward with this story, I do hope your other readers with facial differences enjoy it!
mod Sasza
[This ask was submitted before my announcement of not taking questions regarding this subject matter. As of publishing this, it still applies.]
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
So. Side Order, huh?
I've been chewing on my thoughts over this for a good few days now. Want to spit them out somewhere. Vague-ish spoilers ahead.
I want to preface this with saying that I love Splatoon, I've been playing it since 1, really dropped off near the end of 2. Nintendo made Octo Expansion for me, they released it on my birthday and I love it so fucking much.
Side Order is fun, but lacking criminally in content.
You can argue Roguelites are like this in general, its the core princible to replay them over and over again and as someone who enjoys Roguelites, I agree!
However, a key thing that good roguelites do is continously give you a reason to keep playing- whether that be addictive gameplay or, usually, good story and lacing that in with difficulty that becomes the players goal to lessen- It rewards the player for being curious, experimental and above all else persistant.
I am fully aware that difficulty, due to Splatoon's target audience, in something like a roguelite was never going to be an easy thing to balance let alone pull off but having the main plot resolve itself once you hit the top of the tower was, in my opinion, the first of its blunders.
I feel as if the Splatoon developers know how much the lore and worldbuilding of these games matter to players. Side Order was advertised in very similar veins to Octo Expansion. The trailers had mystery and intrigue with clear connections to the well recieved and loved Octo Expansion to the point of having the same protagonist among other simularities.
They were clearly teasing this to be a successor of SOME capacity to Octo Expansion. And even as I went into this expecting it to be nothing like OE in terms of it's personal weight, I wasn't expecting something so short.
Classically, in roguelites that focus on story, you would gain story beats the more you replay. And techincally you gain this with the keys gathered from each fully cleared palette. But usually your story rewards in roguelites come from clearing or attempting runs and rewards:
With Side Order's story being resolved the MOMENT you step onto floor 30 with no real context unless you've intentionally avoided the top or have genuinely been slowed by its difficult (which I assume is what the devs intended) makes it's climax feel fast paced and lackluster- undeserved, even.
And, yes, I am fully aware that when you climb the tower agani after the credits role, you begin gain more lore about whats going on. But with the actual, main threat neutralized in every possible way it feels as if this lore should've been offered to us much sooner and much more spread out for a better pay off.
It's story feels like its being told out of order and, in my personal opinion, the themes and actual telling methods of Side Order we're a largely missed opportunity to tell something a bit more indepth. Climbing a tower that gives you essentially nothing until you reach floor 30 (which in my experience takes about 35-40 minutes) only to recieve about two scentences of lore is incredibly tiring and feels dissastifying when the main plot is already over.
It's lack of variation in level design, tasks and chips doesn't help with the climb each time if you're looking for the lore or just to 100% either. And you can argue this is a roguelite problem, but Splatoon's scenario's for a tower climb are pitifully small and you will start to seem repeat almost immediatly on your second or third run.
I also feel like it relies far too heavily on the player knowing and caring about Octo Expansion. I'm not saying that I think it was a bad idea to have most of what's going on in Side Order happening because of Octo Expansion's events. Hell, I was happy when they were very blatently showing this early on.
But it does very little with its ties to Octo Expansion, making Side Order feel like its constantly struggling to be its own thing away from the original DLC.
I think I can almost see what they wanted to go for here, and its frustrating, it felt close to something at least telling a decent story.
Every single little beat I've gotten has helped me understand more and more what they were going for, but since the main conflict is already resolved I find it hard to be excited and more frustrated that I wasn't given these during my initial playthrough.
I feel as though the roguelite formula was an interesting idea that they polished the best of their ability and to make work both for casual and experience players- but I think thats where the problem comes in.
With Side Order being the same price as Octo Expansion and offering very little in terms of replayability and most especially for me, story, the whole thing ends up feeling like a muddled mess that would've worked better had the roguelite aspect perhaps been dropped in general for a general tower climb.
Missed opportunies feel like they decorate Side Order in a way that leaves me fairly disappointed.
I think, overall, Side Order is a fun time that can be enjoyed but the way it was implimented into the gameplay formula was largely a mistake, especially coupled with the marketing of this being something more indepth with its story when it's not, and I can absolutely understand why I'm seeing a lot of disappointment for it.
#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatoon side order#side order#splatoon spoilers#side order spoilers#i just wanted to spit my thoughts out somewhere#i could've gone more into my grievances with the plot but i wanted to generalize this and its already too long#but i definitely feel mismarketed too#i say this as someone whos enjoying it despite its lack of content#i am DEFINITELY let down in terms of what they seemed to be implying in trailers#and if you enjoy side order thats fine all the more power to you#salutes#scrolls.txt
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know how to ball, i know aristotle
s.r x f!reader
summary: spencer's love feels so high school
warnings: none!
wc: 689 (she's short!)
a/n: inspired by so high school!! i have 50 different fics planned after listening to ttpd.......be prepared
It felt childish in a way. The way Spencer feels his cheeks flush and a chill run down his body whenever she’s near him. The constant butterflies. The shyness he feels when she's around. The high he gets from being near her. It feels like he’s a teenager in love.
Right now, the feeling remains as he watches Y/N and the rest of the team that fills the bullpen play a makeshift game of basketball with a trash bin and crumpled up paper. Whenever she makes a basket, she snaps her head over to him to see if he was looking– of course he was– and his chest fills with pride. Once her turn was over though, his head went right back down to his current read, something about Greek philosophers.
“Pretty Boy!”
His head immediately went back up at the sound of Morgan calling out to him. “Hmm?”
“We need reinforcements. Your girl is kicking our asses over here.”
A red wave flooded his neck, making its way up to his face, and he moved his chair back the tiniest bit, giving a small nod as he tried to hide his shy smile. He felt the way one would if they were asked to play kiss, marry, kill with their crush’s name thrown in there. Honestly, he’d be content if she did all three to him.
From there on, the game went terribly. While Y/N was making shot after shot, Emily was barely making it around the rim, Derek made it every other time, and Spencer was so far off it was pointless in asking him to join (but he knew the ball wasn't weighted properly, and he’d die on that hill). It didn't take long for those who were losing to become uninterested in the game, so everything eventually went back to business.
That was until Spencer felt a pair of hands gently knead into his shoulders.
Normally, he would tense up immediately. He wouldn't want to be touched– he’d be questioning why someone was touching him. But he knew it was Y/N. He’s become accustomed to her delicate touch; the smell of her lotion; the light reflecting off of the promise ring he bought her for their last anniversary. She would massage his shoulders until he was completely relaxed against her, allowing her to lean forward more and wrap her arms around his neck, placing her chin on his shoulder.
“I had a lot of fun earlier. You did well.”
He let out a giddy laugh as he craned his neck in order to look at her. The same giddy feeling a teenager gets when playing spin the bottle and truth or dare spread through his body whenever he’s this close to her, it truly never fails.
“I’m glad. I absolutely embarrassed myself with my lack of skill, but I’m glad at least someone enjoyed it.”
“Hey,” she shifted slightly so that she was directly looking at him all while keeping her chin perched on him. “You didn't embarrass yourself. We all have things we’re good at. Like, look at this.” She lazily gestured to the books scattered across his desk, “I couldn't even begin to describe what you're reading. You’re brilliant, Spence.”
“It’s called The Philosophy of Aristotle. It’s a selection of Aristotle’s works and–” he stopped himself, watching the way Y/N was completely mesmerized by what he had to say.
“Keep going. I've done my reports and I’m sure you've finished yours. We have plenty of time.” She kissed his cheek as a way to get him to start speaking again, and he felt on top of the world.
It was childish, really. The constant buzz he felt when speaking to her. The crinkles he can feel by his eyes from smiling so hard. The childlike wonder at how someone could be so perfect for him. No one’s ever had him like her. He felt as though this is what he would've felt if he had a normal childhood, one where he had a high school sweetheart. And despite it feeling so high school, he loves it. He loves her.
#idk how i feel about this but i tried!!#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction
372 notes
·
View notes
Text
Snuggling with Daryl after a run...
Just a small, plotless but (hopefully) fluffy ficlet that came to my mind while I was working.
I hope you can enjoy it.
You ran your fingers through Daryl’s hair, working the shampoo into his roots, your own hair already shampooed and washed. For someone who had grumbled and rolled his eyes while you made him get into the shower with you, instead of letting him flop down onto the bed already, after you two came back from the run, Daryl seemed pretty content right now while you caressed his hair, eyes closed and leaning against you, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he went ahead and purred. You didn’t say anything, though.
Alexandria might have its ups and downs, but being able to shower with actual hot water when you needed it was for sure a plus.
The run hadn’t been a particularly hard one, but you were tired anyway, you understood wanting to just lie down for a spare moment, but still, you knew you had to wash the mud that you had on you from digging some walker-traps outside Alexandria. Your comfy bed was another Alexandria plus and you didn’t want to get it full of mud.
Soon, you and Daryl were clean and on your way to bed…no matter the sun was still up outside, by now you both had been working out there for almost sixteen hours, so you were pretty sure you both deserved a nap.
You closed the curtains while Daryl dropped down on the bed with a sigh, and you knew he was tired too, even though you knew that if right now someone barged through the door, asking him to do something, he’d say yes and get right to it as if he didn’t need the rest. He was an over-worker and he always fought you on it when you told him so. But right now, he too looked pretty done with the day, eyes already closed as he tried to get comfortable despite aches and sore muscles.
Crawling on the bed and pretty much over Daryl, you let out a content sigh of your own as you lied over his bare chest, and sure, the pillow would be fluffier and softer than Daryl’s firm chest, but you’d much rather lie there.
It didn’t take a second for Daryl’s strong arms to wrap around you as you curled up to him, and you felt the vibration on his chest as he hummed contently, nuzzling your hair before resting his chin on top of your head, while his fingers absentmindedly drew lazy patterns over the skin of your shoulder and arm.
There was no better way of sleeping, you were sure of that, no other way in which you could feel more cared for and loved, more comfortable and warm, neither safer, and you had to wonder how had you ever slept before you got lucky enough to share a bed with Daryl.
The sun was setting and you were more asleep when you finally rolled off Daryl’s chest…you didn’t move far, though, just turning to your side, facing the wall while Daryl turned with you so his chest was pressed against your back, his arm wrapping around you to keep you close, nuzzling your hair again, and you let out a sleepy, happy mumble.
No better way of sleeping for sure…
You loved it too, though, when it was the opposite around, when Daryl was the one half lying over you, head pillowed on your chest, his warm weight comforting over you, or when you were the one holding him, arm around him as you snuggled to his back, trying to infuse him with as much love, care and protection as you felt he deserved…you knew he hadn’t gotten much of that, or even any, during his life…but you’d make up for that lack of it now.
Still…you were sure there was no way you could feel safer than sleeping like that, the warmth of Daryl’s chest reassuring behind you, his strong arm protectively wrapped around you…Even if you were asleep in a world full of threats, when you slept like that, it felt as if nothing could ever harm you.
*
Thanks for reading, please leave a comment if you can, and as always, excuse my English.
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fic#daryl dixon & reader#daryl dixon/reader#snuggling with daryl dixon#daryl dixon twd#twd daryl dixon#daryl dixon drabbles#daryl dixon ficlets
772 notes
·
View notes
Text
How I manifest everything
From someone who has been doing this for 3 years.
Table of context
1. EXCESS POTENTIAL
2. DO NOT GIVE A FUCK
3. FIND THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU
4. DISCIPLINE
5. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO MORE
6. 4V1
7. HOW NEGATIVES ARE ACTUALLY HUGE SIGNS
8. AFFIRMATION TAPES
EXCESS POTENTIAL:
Every time I've been overly fixated on manifesting something, it never quite works out. I've come to realize that relying solely on a manifestation for happiness creates a sense of lack. So, when the manifestation seems elusive, and I start feeling hopeless, I remind myself that I can find happiness independent of that specific outcome. I can be content right now and for the rest of my life, even if this thing never materializes.
Take the scenario of people manifesting their significant others. Relying entirely on that person for happiness isn't healthy. Even outside the realm of manifestation, your partner shouldn't be your sole source of joy. If the idea of not having them makes you believe you'll never be happy again, it's time to shift focus. Instead of obsessing over manifesting them back, it's about working on your self-concept and having a healthier perspective on relationships. I love my boyfriend, but if he left suddenly, I'd be sad, not thinking my life is over. It's about having a mindset that even if this particular thing doesn't work out, I'm still deserving of happiness and that happiness will come to me one way or another. And this may seem counterintuitive, however this is not me saying that you won’t manifest your desire and that you should be okay with that. I am saying that you need to be happy with or without because the 3d should never dictate your happiness.
DO NOT GIVE A FUCK:
Mastering manifesting requires not caring about the drama in the 3D world. Imagine unwanted things happening, and you just shrug it off, saying, "I don’t give a fuck." Add a bonus of "This will work out anyway." If your specific person hasn't replied, don't panic. Embrace the "IDGAF" mindset. "I don't give a fuck that they haven't texted back; they love me, and they'll reach out any minute now." After dropping this wisdom, distract yourself from the negativity. Watch a show, dance, listen to music—anything to divert attention. It's about cutting the drama and letting the universe do its thing. Repeat this as many times as necessary.
I applied this recently when two friends were dating, and I believed they weren't right for each other and I hated the way she treated him. Despite seeing them be all couplely in the 3d, I persisted in imagining their breakup. I would affirm occasionally “They are in the process of breaking up, I know that they’re about to break up”. After a week, they stopped hanging out, and eventually, they unfollowed each other. It took about two weeks.
FIND THE METHOD THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU:
Honestly, none of the typical manifestation methods clicked with me. Affirmations gave me a headache, visualization overwhelmed me, meditation wasn't my go-to, and scripting bored me. So why don’t I like the holy grail of robotic affirmations? I appreciate affirmations, but I can't do them robotically 24/7; it's too stressful. I tried robotic affirming for two years without success. The key is finding a method you enjoy, not just focusing on its efficiency. If you don't enjoy your chosen method, find one that brings you joy. I have seen probably hundreds of robotic affirmation success stories, but since I never enjoyed affirming 24/7 it never worked for me. Ill get into my preferred method in a bit. But find one you enjoy.
DISCIPLINE:
Discipline used to be a challenge, but I realized it's crucial for manifesting. I stay disciplined by choosing a method, setting a 90-day goal, and eliminating distractions. I unsubscribed from manifestation coaches, delete twitter, tumblr, fb, and block tarot readers. Manifestation shouldn't become a distraction. Don’t let manifestation become your new Netflix. I no longer follow my favorite manifestation coaches, not because I dislike them, but because they served their purpose. I honestly do believe this step is crucial but a lot of people may not want to do it.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO MORE:
One day, it hit me that I rarely entertain opposing thoughts like “This won't work.” Instead, I find myself thinking, “I need to do more for this to work.” Identifying your specific limiting belief is crucial. In my case, I fell into a cycle of trying new methods because I believed I needed to do more. The pattern went like this: new method -> progress -> less progress/opposite results -> need to add a new method -> progress -> burnout -> giving up. Manifesting operates effortlessly 24/7, so consciously manifesting should be the same. Pick one method, stick to it, and trust it.
1v4:
Here's the affirming method I swear by (shoutout to GOATEDMANIFESTING on YouTube and TikTok– the only coach I actually care about and relate to 100%). I maintain a mental diet by monitoring my thoughts throughout the day. If a negative thought contradicts what I'm manifesting, I stop myself and affirm the positive opposite four times. For instance, if I think "He's getting bored of me," I counter it with affirmations like "No, he loves spending time with me; he's always excited to be around me." Repeat that four times, let go, and continue with what you were doing, all while keeping an eye on your thoughts. It's like facing four opponents in a fight – depending on the strength of the limiting belief, it might take some hits. If four people keep beating you up, even if you survive the first round, you would eventually give up.
HOW NEGATIVES ARE ACTUALLY HUGE SIGNS:
Everything only has meaning if you give it meaning. After observing the process of manifesting something new multiple times, I've noticed I often hit a sort of rock bottom. In the beginning, it involved a few days of confidence followed by uncertainty and worry. But persisting through it always led to improvement and successful manifestation. I've learned to assign a new meaning to these tough days – they're a massive sign that what I'm doing is imprinting on my subconscious. It's like my subconscious is "fighting back" against this foreign idea, but if I persist, it'll absorb and manifest. The resistance might show up as opposing dreams, intrusive thoughts, or even the opposite appearing in the 3D. Take it as a sign that after persisting, your subconscious will be impressed and manifest. Just stand firm during this time. Stand on business.
AFFIRMATION TAPES
This is my preferred method but imma just link a video that explains it better than I ever could plus I am tired of writing.
youtube
CONCLUSION
There is so so much more I have learned like how I don’t listen to depressing music anymore just shit that makes me feel confident, motivated or happy.
I have been obsessed with law of assumption for 3 whole years now and I know I still got a lot more to learn however this shit got me movement with my sp in 9 days after 2 years of hot and cold. It got me an A in my college algebra class even though it should be a B. It got my friend to end it with his toxic girlfriend. It got my other friend to end shit with her toxic best friend. I change my appearance and my confidence is through the roof and this is the first time in a while where I am completely content with my life.
There is a lot more I could talk about but thats for another day, these are just the main 7 points.
111 notes
·
View notes
Note
Lovegood reader with Remus and Sirius? She sees a skrunky wolf man and a big ol black dog. Gives them be best head pats and will lay their heads in her lap as she talks about potions to Remus (despite his wolf form) and telling Sirius she finds his fur rather soft
I can totally see Lovegood!Reader one day after class or someday out of the blue and completely out of pocket just walking up to Remus and stating that he is in fact a werewolf. Like, they don’t even ask or inquire about it, they just state it with absolute conviction that Remus is left trying to process whether they in fact found out that he is an actual werewolf or if they were instead just appointing him as a werewolf. But after that one incident it’s never brought up again, even when Remus does try to explain things or bring it up to the Reader they don’t acknowledge it and it takes a bit for Remus to realize that this is just how they’re going about keeping his secret by not acknowledging it ever again.
It’s safe to say though that Lovegood!Reader would spend a good chunk of their time with Remus when he comes to work at Hogwarts, always visiting him in between classes or staying after class even if it’s just to sit and watch Remus go about preparing for the next class or grading homework. And Remus catches himself enjoying the Reader’s company, even if they don’t chat much and are just quietly there in their own little world, he doesn’t mind. I can also see Lovegood!Reader, whether consciously picking up on it or not, sensing how truly lonely Remus is and that’s why they visit him or stay with him for a time here and there.
Leave it to a Lovegood to cross paths with an escaped criminal or the omen of death and make friends with them. I can’t help but imagine that in Harry’s third year when Sirius escapes and is on the run, Lovegood!Reader comes across a mangy black dog who doesn’t come off as being so friendly during a Hogsmeade trip that they most definitely strayed away from (this was probably why the idea of a child leash was brought up). You can’t tell me that Lovegood!Reader wouldn’t have ‘if it’s friend shaped then it must be a friend’ mentality written all over them. And that’s exactly what they see when they have this mangy black dog growling and baring it’s teeth at them coupled with a wild look in its eye. Sirius couldn’t be more relieved when the Reader leaves only for them to comeback some time later with an arm full of warm food, blankets and pillows. Do they know who he is? What he is? Or is this just someone under the belief they’re caring for some random mangy stray? Either way, he’s secretly grateful for the goods they brought him.
Before he realizes it, Sirius has the Reader checking up on and continuing to bring him things during their Hogsmeade visits. It takes him sometime to feel comfortable or trusting enough to reveal who he really is (if they haven’t told anyone anything thus far then it should be alright, right?) and honestly he couldn’t have been more disappointed and relieved at the reaction he got, or rather the lack of. I just love the thought of Lovegood!Reader not having much or any reaction to him not only not being a an average stray dog but also being an escaped convicted criminal as well. They’re just like, “Okay🤷🏼♀️”. Also, you can’t tell me that Lovegood!Reader wouldn’t totally brush Sirius’ fur in his dog form, even long after he’s revealed who he is. Whenever the Reader brings the brush out he immediately transforms into his dog form and allows them to brush away to their hearts content. And you know damn well he revels in the pampering, both due to having not had any real physical contact let alone a gentle touch in so many years and desperately craving some much needed attention/affection.
Also, Sirius and Remus would definitely grow very attached to receiving head pats and hair ruffles from the Reader. I mean both men are completely touch starved and in need of some form of tender, love and care. The Reader would just be an utter godsend with their unconditional affection. Lovegood!Reader would always give some sort of affection to Sirius in his dog form since the first time they met and that wouldn’t change whatsoever in his human form either. Meanwhile for Remus, after the Reader confronted him about his being a werewolf they would always take to patting his head after that. Whether they it was in passing in the corridors or before and after class (whether it was their class or they just pooped in during another class to do so), the Reader would never fail to make a point to pat his head. Hell, they’ve even done it in front of other professors and even Dumbledore. I can’t help but imagine this short student on their tippy toes trying to reach out and pat Remus’ head only for him to embarrassingly give in and lower himself enough for them to achieve their endeavors. And at first, Remus is absolutely and utterly embarrassed, having on multiple times tried to get the Reader to stop doing that but when they actually did end up stopping or at least lessening the amount of head pats they gave him, Remus didn’t take too well without them. Especially when a full moon was rearing its ugly head. So he just came to accept the head pats as they were and happily took all that were given to him.
Can we just take a moment to talk about everyone else’s reaction to not only Lovegood!Reader patting a literal werewolf on the head when Remus ends up transforming but also having befriended a literal criminal who was believed to have been out to kill Harry? Literally everyone would be mortified, sure things end up working out in the end and Sirius is actually good but still! Hermione especially would be absolutely scolding the hell out of the Reader and going on and on about how dangerous it all was and the severity of what could have happened if Sirius was in fact a literal killer and out to murder again. Don’t even get her started on the werewolf bit. Meanwhile, Luna can only gingerly grab her sibling’s hand and gently smack the top of it, not dealing any real hurt or anything but similar to what you would do to a child who did something they weren’t supposed to. Honestly, this would only further prove to the people/other yanderes in the Reader’s life that they need to be protected at all costs and heavily supervised 25/8.
#anxious answers#yandere sirius black#yandere remus lupin#yandere harry potter#yandere harry potter concept#yandere concept
354 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, so I wanted to ask you something since I've seen you upload some of the public access art from Sauces OG twitter. I know that's the way to do it, I'm in the patreon too and that stuff is protected. What I wanted to ask was if you had some of the OG Gallagher mansion stuff? Like the concepts etc. Pretty much all of it got deleted and I tried looking some up to remind myself of the project and not much is still around. You can privately answer or make a post, it's up to you.
Yup, that’s the way to do it. Don’t repost the privately posted patreon stuff anywhere, and make sure to always credit Sauce for their publicly posted art when shared. They’re kind enough to allow me to use pictures in my headcanon rambles and such, and I want to always give them the credit and praise they deserve for such wonderful art and creative stories and characters for us to play with. They’re awesome and deserve our support.
If you want content to see the project is still going strong, then you’re in luck! There was a recent update on the project over on the SnaccPop Studios’ twitter. Check out this beautiful background. Though, even more enticing is the voiced teaser of the project in this post. We finally get to publicly hear what Elias sounds like and get a glimpse into what the choices might be for the game.
Of course, there are more teasers up on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon, including nudes of Elias. There were some nudes posted by Sauce publicly on their now gone twitter, but tumblr might not take them as artistic nudity and might nuke my blog if I post any images that are too spicy.
That said, there have been brand new public posts with Elias’ fully clothed sprites over on twitter. Check them out here, and maybe say a kind word to the lovely artist while you’re there~
As for the older publicly posted art, there were a couple shown in a previous ask over here. Sadly, I don’t have the very first original concept art where Elias is putting a necklace on his living bride. I do, however, have a picture of big boy Elias carrying his new “bride” but he’s a bit too excited for me to share the picture here in its entirety.
Sadly, I can’t show the rest of this beautiful piece of art by Sauce to give you a better sense of just how big Elias is compared to Y/N (in more than one sense of the word), but the player stand in character here is also naked, and I’m not gonna roll the dice on whether gray anon booty will result in me being smote by the tumblr gods. Such a shame too.
You know, last time I posted a cropped spicy picture of Sauce’s, I wrote a steamy little snippet to go with it. To make up for the lack of the concept art and cropping this picture, how about I write a little Adults Only bit of spice here too? I don’t have my MC for the Groom of Gallagher Mansion solidified in my mind yet (though I do have a few thoughts) so maybe this would be a good excuse to expand my writing skills by trying to tackle some gender-neutral reader-insert fiction for once. I hope you enjoy it.
...
Elias was warmer than I expected for someone who had been dead for at least 100 years. I felt the heat rise where his bare skin touched mine. I knew that I was screwed when I agreed to tie the knot with the lonely ghost of Gallagher Mansion, but I didn’t really expect that literally.
For crying out loud, how could a ghost get a hardon, especially one so big?
Despite how crazy the situation was and how fast we rushed into this marriage, I couldn’t help but feel excited when he brushed up against my thighs as Elias scooped me up into his arms, all hot, hard, and faintly twitching when our skin made contact. He bit his lower lip in a failed attempt to stifle the noise he made that was suspiciously like a whimper.
Damn it. Why did Elias have to be so cute?
Elias lifted me just a little higher so that he could recover from the contact, taking a moment to… catch his breath? Or at least imitate it. Old habits die hard, even in death, it seemed.
I didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as I was caught by the charming smile he sent my way as he spoke my name with so much adoration that my racing heart sped up just a little more. “My dearest beloved, I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally consummate our love.”
“I can tell,” I said, and immediately I was rewarded by the darkening blue hue of his cheeks that I knew by now was a blush. I smirked as he sputtered for a moment, flustered. It was so fun to tease someone as innocent as him.
Elias cleared his throat as he composed himself. “Yes, well… how can I not be when my beloved consort is as beautiful and alluring as you?” He then smiled, almost devilishly, as I felt the fire in his smoldering gaze blaze through my already burning core. His voice dipped lower, growing in confidence as he leaned in closer. “And I can tell that you’re excited as well, beloved.”
My face burned hotter at that. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Elias noticed, considering every inch of me was laid bare before him, but I was still caught off-guard by his increasing boldness.
I was excited, despite how crazy the situation was. I wanted what was coming next, but it was impossible not to feel nervous, especially when I was expected to take something so big inside me. Could I even handle it? Would he even fit?
Still… a part of me really wanted to find out.
“Please be gentle with me,” I said softly. Sure, it was a cheesy old line, but it felt fitting right now.
“Of course, dearest!” Elias said, almost taken aback that I would assume anything less. “I would never do anything to bring you discomfort in any way.” A bit of his shyness slipped back in as he glanced away. “I might not have… experience in such…” He paused to clear his throat. “…Intimacy, but I promise that I will take care of all of your needs tonight and more.” He lowered his voice in a husky whisper as his burning gaze met mine. “All you need to do is ask, and I’ll gladly fulfill your every desire.”
The promise sent a shiver up my spine, and the way his fingers began to teasingly stroke my thigh coaxed me to spread my legs just a bit despite the precarious position I was in. I should have been off balance by the way he held me, but I supposed he was using his ghostly powers to levitate me more than he was using those muscular arms of his to hold me up.
Fuck it, I was in too deep already, so I might as well embrace this whole marriage deal and let my husband fill me even deeper.
Throwing away the last of my reservations, I grabbed his cheeks and pulled Elias in for a kiss. I think I displaced his head from his neck in my eagerness, and he jolted briefly, startled, but that melted away quickly as he returned the kiss with a passion I never felt with anyone alive. The taste of him was hot and exciting, drawing me in and making me hunger for more as he held me close.
As I ran my hands along my new husband’s muscular chest, I felt Elias start to explore me as well. I had to end the kiss to let out a gasp as his wandering fingers made their way between my legs and found my entrance.
I clung to him tightly as Elias gave me another devilish smirk, the touch of his fingers light and teasing as he circled my opening. I bit my lower lip to stifle a moan that slipped free as he slid a finger smoothly inside. I couldn’t help but squirm as he touched me so deeply, soon sliding in another finger just as easily.
Fuck. For someone inexperienced, Elias was really good with his hands.
“Oh my dearest,” Elias cooed as he skillfully played with my body like a fine instrument. “My beloved, my sweetest, my only love… You look so beautiful right now, writhing in my arms and making such cute sounds.” He kissed my cheek, then again, marking a trail to my ear. He spoke my name against my ear in a way that sent a shiver down my spine as his… breath(?) caressed me there. “Won’t you use that melodious voice of yours to say my name? Please, my dearest?”
“E-Elias,” I panted, and was immediately rewarded as he pumped his fingers in deeper, sending a jolt of pleasure through me. “Oh fuck, Elias!”
I tried to buck into his hand, but the position made it impossible for me to move much. I was at my husband’s mercy, helpless to do anything but writhe in his grasp and hold onto Elias tightly as he played a concert with my body, coaxing his name out of me again and again. He cooed my name in return as he spoke sweet words of love and praise as he drove me closer and closer to the edge until he sent me over it, screaming his name.
I may have been screwed by marrying Elias, but right now there was nothing I wanted more.
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
#The Groom of Gallagher Mansion#TheGroomOfGallagherMansion#Elias Gallagher#Reader-Insert#x Reader#Ask#Sauce-y Art#My Writing
256 notes
·
View notes
Text
Even as the Hour Grows Bleaker
“Well, I just…” she stops, sighs, starts again. “Thank you,” she says instead. She is so free and constant with her gratitude, Halsin notes, like someone who once used to fill those spaces with something else—apologies, perhaps, or self-doubt.
She clears her throat. “Now then. I came out here to play some music.” She speaks quickly, hastening her retreat from the topic. “Might I tempt you with a song?”
Halsin cannot keep himself from smiling broadly. “You can tempt me however you like,” he says, and delights in the particular shade of purple that spreads from her cheeks to the tips of her ears.
--
During a restless night at the Lost Light Inn, Halsin finds himself drawn to an unexpected siren song.
Me? Writing BG3 fanfic? It's more likely than you think.
Exhaustion hangs heavy in Halsin’s bones. He is tired down to his marrow, tired in a way that makes him miss the comforts of a ray of sunlight upon his skin, a warm breeze through his hair. There is none of that here, in this wretched land of darkness and shadow and loss. Nothing else has room to dwell here—not even hope.
Rest eludes him tonight. It evades him like a particularly stubborn mouse hidden beneath a field of grass: visible enough to feel as though it is within reach, just to dart out of his grasp again and again. Were he a hawk, he would be frustrated with such a quarry. As it stands, as an elf, while he may not require a night’s sleep, any opportunity to clear his thoughts and find some peace would be better than this—an endless state of guilt and worry and frustration.
He sighs and sits up from his bedroll, tying his hair up with a piece of cordage. He is grateful he had the forethought to gather a decent supply of bark and fiber from the Grove. Most of the plants here are too decayed and dried to be helpful for anything besides kindling. He emerges from his tent quietly, careful not to disturb the rest of his companions, who are all lost to their respective meditations and slumbers. Perhaps he might find reprieve in wild shape, he thinks, and shifts into a panther. The shadowed lands around him call for an equally shadowed coat.
Satisfied, he stalks silently through the camp. Even so, the tomb guardian meets his eye and nods, though no one else rouses enough to notice him. Despite his preference to be as a bear, he does enjoy his time as a panther. The shadows welcome him, and silence guides him forward.
They are set up around the Last Light Inn, right at the edge of the lake. Neth had insisted on being close enough to be within the light of Selune’s blessing, but didn’t want to take away any beds from those at the inn who might require them. She didn’t expressly forbid any of her companions from resting at the inn instead of in camp, though to some surprise, no one took her up on her offer of hospitality. All were content to stay around their warm central fire, even Astarion; he complained, of course, and bemoaned the lack of a proper bed, but when the time came, he took to his bedroll happily, mumbling something about safety in numbers and the devils you know.
After the attack on the inn, Halsin supposes he cannot blame the group for wanting to stay among themselves. Jaheira is competent and formidable in her own right, as are her Harpers and the attending Flaming Fists, but no soldier can predict the cave-in of a roof, and solutions to sudden death are hard to come by. Better to sleep under the open sky, and perhaps see any sign of an enemy.
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. In this form, he can hear the guards on patrol around the inn, whispering worries between themselves as they clank around in their chain armor. The lake laps at its shores, the wind whistles forlornly through the lifeless reeds, and the few leaves remaining upon the trees clatter against each other like dried bones. It all serves as a reminder of his failure for the past century…and as a catalyst to drive him forward in helping Neth. They will remove Ketheric Thorm from this land, the last thorn in Thaniel’s side. They must .
He spots a cozy looking spot upon some boxes near the docks. That will do nicely, he thinks, and curls up to watch the rippling water. Surely that would be enough to lull him into a trance.
A miserable half-hour later, it becomes quite clear that there will be no quieting his mind. He lets out a low growl, frustrated with the disquiet of his thoughts, of his heart. It seems the stresses of the day—or rather, the past few weeks—refuse to leave him be. Though he has never balked at action before, it could be that the battle looming before them is simply too large, with too much at stake. Or maybe his heart just needs time to recover from the centuries of guilt and worry he had held for Thaniel.
He jumps down from his perch upon the crates, stretching his paws far out in front of him, then arching his back. If rest will not find him now, then he will join the guards in their rota until there is no choice but to succumb to his fatigue. He takes a step towards the inn, and in that moment, his ears flick back at the sound of something foreign. Something…musical?
He sits, and swivels his ears to listen. There is only mumbling coming from the inn, and the sounds of the lake, but then—there it is again. A soft twang, then another. The tuning of a lute.
Curious, he turns to go investigate the sound. The lute-player is making an effort to be quiet, but the stillness of the lake and the surrounding forest amplify the lonely echoes, and his panther ears have no difficulty in locating the origin of the sound. The rocky outcropping where Neth had defended him while he went into the Shadowfell to retrieve Thaniel serves as a stage, and there, her legs hanging off the side of the rock, her hair cascading around her shoulders, sits Neth herself.
Halsin takes a moment to regard her, veiled in the dim moonlight and the rising fog of the lake. She looks beautiful always, but she shines resplendent in her element: surrounded by clouds and storms and the breath of the wilds. Here, the fog envelops her like a blanket, and he envies it for being close enough to caress her gentle, cornflower-blue skin, to draw forth goosebumps along her arms, to curl around her horns, to bring a flush to her cheeks. He cannot help but to watch, enraptured, as she brushes her hair to one side, exposing a shoulder that has escaped the confines of her flowing linen shirt.
He intends to exhale, to compose himself, to draw his mind back to the matter at hand and remind himself that, in due time, with the death of Ketheric Thorm and the healing of the land, he might allow himself to focus on matters outside of the Shadow Curse. On matters of the heart.
But he is as a panther, and his harmless exhale instead emerges as a long, low growl.
Nethralia stiffens, hands frozen on the knobs and strings of her lute. Slowly, she turns to peer over her shoulder. Her fiery eyes meet his golden ones, and in them, he can see her fear. She is unarmed, alone, vulnerable . In this moment, she believes she is his prey.
The very thought makes him sick. Panicked, he shakes his head, surely looking comical in his current shape.
Neth doesn’t move, just watches him with wide, scared eyes, so he considers how else he might convince her. It would almost be worse to just change back in this moment, lest she think he was stalking her on purpose , so he does the one thing he can think of as a sure communication that he is not a threat.
He drops to the ground and rolls over, brandishing his belly to the sky. He rolls side to side, his tail swishing in the dirt of the road as he waits for her reaction.
He watches her, upside down, as her brow creases in thought, until, finally—
“...Halsin?”
He springs back up, shakes the dust off of his coat, and pads over to her. When he is close enough that, should she wish it, she might reach out and touch him, he stops. He tilts his head to gesture at the lute in her hands, then looks back up at her.
She holds his gaze, and in her fiery eyes there is a rueful intensity. Pale gray and blue flames flicker in her irises as she takes him in fully, and he wants to think she is as appreciative of a panther’s lithe and powerful form as he is. She takes her time, as though she is counting every whisker to be able to distinguish him in the future.
Then, she lets out a deep breath and smiles , and his heart soars. Acceptance. Such a simple thing, truly, to see someone for who they are and take them in stride without any added judgment—yet he has seen it given out so rarely that he had almost forgotten the thrill of it. Unlike others he has met in his travels, Nethralia has no trouble with accepting people as they are. In fact, she rises above mere acceptance and stands wholly in the realm of embracing all of those she comes across.
Neth shifts over on the rock and pats the space next to her, inviting him to sit. There is not much he would change about his panther form, though in this moment, he wishes he could purr rather than growl. He steps in a circle and curls up beside her, joining her in looking out over the lake.
“I am sorry if I disturbed you,” she says softly, returning to her lute. She has finished her tuning and is idly strumming chords, practicing switching from one to another.
He snorts. As if she could disturb him.
She glances down at his reaction. “Hush,” she chides. “You know what I meant. I would feel terrible if my sleeplessness was the cause of someone else’s.”
Another sniff, and then he shifts so as to lay his head upon his paws. He closes his eyes, happy to share the moment with her and her lute.
He hears her laugh quietly. “Alright, then. Just…let me know if you would prefer I not play, I suppose.”
Why she would expect anyone not to hear her play is beyond reckoning; her mastery over her lute makes a mockery of Volo, and leaves other bards with much to be desired…though he knows some part of his opinion is bias rooted in his adoration of her deft, skilled hands.
She begins to pluck a melody , something slow and sad and sweet. The notes echo over the lake, accompanied by the lapping of waves and the occasional gust of wind rustling through nearby reeds. Two patrolling Harpers pass by as she starts to play, the clanking of their armor stilling as they stop to listen. The tune is almost mournful, nostalgic , a memory woven in a melody, a prayer longing for simpler times. To his surprise, Halsin begins to feel stifled in his wild shape, and longs to show his appreciation for Neth’s art in a way besides being a captive listener.
The song is woefully short. With the last notes resounding across the water, their echoes fading away in the fog, the Harpers resume their patrol—and Halsin takes his cue to stand. Neth glances over at him, brow raised.
She smirks. “Had enough already? And here I thought I’d tuned well.”
He shakes himself and stretches. Stepping back from the edge of the rock, he wills himself to shift back, the golden threads of his magic guiding him back into his elven form. He rolls his shoulders to reacquaint himself before sitting back down beside Neth, who has been watching him attentively throughout his change.
“You misunderstand,” he says. “I wanted to be in a shape capable of expressing that I thought your playing was beautiful.”
“Oh.” She says, a hint of surprise in her voice. “Well, then. Thank you. I appreciate you listening.”
“Of course. It is an honor to be your audience.”
Neth tries to suppress a bashful giggle behind a purposeful clearing of her throat. “Well…thank you,” she says again, resuming her idle strumming.
Halsin hums but says no more, granting her the opportunity with which to compose herself, and, perhaps, her next melody. He is more than happy to enjoy the moment without any conversation, even though he longs to learn more about her. Patience is necessary in nature, when waiting for flowers to bloom or eggs to hatch; so, too, must he be, when pursuing this delicate thread of something that tugs at his heart.
It is Neth who speaks up first, after a short while. “I haven’t had the easiest time sleeping recently. Playing helps to calm me down, even if just for a few short hours. I was delighted to find the Inn had an extra lute lying around.”
Halsin nods, still looking out at the water. “You play well. When did you start?”
“As a child. My mother was a bard, and before we moved to Baldur’s Gate, music was my main source of entertainment. I just watched and listened to her play, at first, and then one day my father came home with an assortment of instruments for me to try my hand at, and the rest is history.” She plucks another song as she speaks, only occasionally glancing down at her hands to see them placed correctly.
“Was?” asks Halsin, noting the past tense.
She hesitates, leaving a chord hanging unfinished in the space between them. She takes a deep breath as though steeling herself, then carries on playing.
“Yes,” she says, sounding small. “She died when I was still young.”
“You have my sympathies,” Halsin says. He sees her face fall, that fire in her eyes dim just a little, and he wishes he could hold her. He settles for placing a hand on her shoulder, pleased to find her leaning into his touch.
“Thank you. It was a long time ago, but I still miss her. I miss…home.”
This close to her, he finds he is insatiable; not just for her touch or affection, but to know her, to know of her, to be as welcomed into her past as he is in her present. He decides to take a chance.
“And where, or perhaps, what , is home, for you?”
Neth hums, a small smile lifting the corner of her lips. “Here.” She answers far quicker than he had expected, and his heart stutters. “I mean, obviously not here ,” she corrects, stumbling to clarify herself, “among all this death and shadow. Just…on the road, with people I care about. I haven’t been settled in a long while, though I do miss some aspects of Baldur’s Gate. Before that, as a child…”
She sighs and sets the lute aside, turning so that she can sit to face him. Crossing her legs, she leans onto her elbows and begins to draw nonsense patterns with her finger on the sand and dirt that lays upon the stone.
“My father was—well, is, I suppose—a ranger. He was your standard lone wolf adventurer without a care in the world until he met my mum. Caught her eye when she was performing in a tavern one day and said he knew, right then, that he’d want to be with her forever. Classic fairytale romance. He didn’t want to live in the city, though, especially not after he stuck around there for a long while when he was courting her. So he built a little cabin out in the woods, maybe three or four days' travel from any city, and that’s where I was born.
“Life was sweet. Simple. Mum played music, dad taught me about nature, I adventured and explored from sunrise to sunset. Sometimes dad would go off on long adventures and come back with books and music and stories that would tide me over during the next spate of time he was gone. Really, the halcyon stuff out of storybooks.”
Halsin can’t look away from her as she tells her tale. Neth is not what he would necessarily call secretive , but she hides her sorrows well, under layers of gratitude and genuine joy. Were one not looking for it, they would not find it, like a tree whose bark and leaves do not betray a trunk hollowed out by insects and rot, leaving it barely standing.
Neth sighs and looks out at the water. “Well. Neither mum nor dad really knew about any latent magical stuff in their bloodline. When I started playing around with magic out of nowhere, they did what research they could and tried to teach me the best they knew. But I was a young sorcerer, and I knew little of caution.”
She stops to rub at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Nethralia, if—” he starts, to let her know she has nothing to prove to him. He has had the luxury of centuries with which to accept his mistakes and regrets. She has had nothing of the sort.
“It’s okay, Halsin,” she interrupts. “It’s…I would like you to know. If you would still like to hear.”
He shifts to sit cross legged as well, and reaches out to take one of her small hands in his. “Of course I would.”
She gives his hand a squeeze. “Thank you.” She cranes her neck to look up at the moon, the pale blue streaks among her mouse-brown hair shining almost white in its light.
“No one got hurt. Well, no one besides me.” She gestures to the scar across her left cheek. “Mum was playing music outside in the sunlight. Dad was out hunting. I tripped over a stack of books trying to get help, and knocked myself on the head before I reached the door. The cabin went up in flames quickly, what with all the books and herbs and sheet music. Mum got me out of there just in time, and dad rushed back when he saw the smoke. All we had left after that were the clothes on our backs, mum’s lute, and dad’s bow. I was ten.
“I remember the walk to Baldur’s Gate being long and quiet. After lots of saving, mum got me my own lute so I could earn myself some coins by playing on the streets. Dad was out hunting and taking what work he could, so I never saw him much. Mum played what taverns and shows she could, too. I had a few magic tutors here and there to make sure we could avoid a repeat, and I practiced magic whenever I wasn’t practicing music.
“That worked out for a while. Eventually we got a small place in the Lower City. Things seemed to be turning around. But then mum died—got caught in a mugging or a fight on her way home late from the tavern. Dad found her the next day. He lasted a few weeks, but one day I got home and he just was…gone. So were his things. Just a note saying he was sorry and enough gold for one more month of rent. I was fifteen.”
She rubs at her eyes with her free hand and sniffs. “Last I heard, he was back in the city. Remarried .” She all but spits out the word. “Haven’t spoken to him since then, though, so I can’t know for sure.” She looks back down at the water, looks everywhere but at him.
Halsin frowns. Surely she cannot think he will judge her poorly for actions in her past, actions that she could not control. Sorrow has made a home with her, hanging heavy on her shoulders like a wet cloak, dousing that fire in her eyes and spirit. It pains him to see her saddened at her memories; it hurts even more to think she may see herself still culpable. For all this, he knows there is little he can do or say to ease her pain. This is her burden to carry, and it is her choice to decide if someone might help lighten her load.
He reaches up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek, and uses the moment to turn her to face him again.
“I am sorry,” he says, for that is sometimes all one can say. “Thank you for speaking to me of it. Perhaps if there are any places that hold fond memories for you within the city, you might show me them?”
Neth smiles sadly. “I certainly do know of a few places, though I can only hope they are still as I left them.” She chuckles under her breath, adding, “Truthfully, I do not think you will enjoy Baldur’s Gate all that much. It’s rather antithesis to your whole…everything. A city exemplifying the ambivalent and uncaring nature of our supposedly civilized world.”
He shrugs. “This may be true. Regardless, I am eager to see the city for what it is, and come to my own conclusions.”
Neth claps her hands over her mouth and swears. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean—I’m sorry, I didn’t want to suggest that you should just take my word for it!” She reaches out and takes both his hands in hers. “Of course I will show you around. I simply don’t want you to think I expect you to care for it in the same way I do.”
Her hands feel so small in his own, so cold. It is a wonder she can play the lute as well as she can in this state. Thankfully, Neth has always been rather open and accepting of physical touch, so he starts to rub slow circles along her palms and fingers in an effort to warm her up. He smiles, his heart feeling full and purposeful, even with this simple action. “I have learned by now that you are very good in not holding those in your company up to unrealistic expectations, Nethralia. You often remind me of the patient warmth of spring, content to let winter run its course. Even with those whose icy demeanors may take more time to melt.”
Neth raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Halsin clears his throat, considering how best to broach the topic. It is something he has been curious about, as a newer addition to her entourage, and observation from the side can only provide so much insight regarding her relationships with others. “At least from where I stand, you seem more than willing to allow those around you to take the time they need to realize themselves. I sometimes find myself envious of your propensity for accepting people as they are.” He leans over slightly, so as to better meet her eye. “The gentle sunlight of your company makes it easy to follow wherever you lead, and easier still to address those parts of us that endeavor to be worthy of you. Take Astarion, for example.”
She chews on her lower lip. “I don’t…what about Astarion?” She glances away, cheeks darkening.
“Even a blind mole could see the impact you have had upon him, Nethralia,” he says with a chuckle. “Could see the way he follows you with his gaze, stands taller when you are near. You say that Baldur’s Gate is full of uncaring people, part of an uncaring society. Are you not part of that society? Are you not Baldurian? Then you are yourself the very instrument by which things care, and you inspire others to follow in your stead.” He gives her hands one last squeeze before he lets go. “Baldur’s Gate must have its silver linings, if it gave us all you .”
He draws his hands back, giving her some space. A distinct blush has settled comfortably among the freckles on her cheeks, but to her credit, she has not looked away. Her gray-fire eyes meet his with conviction, and the smallest hint of a smile dances upon her lips. She works her mouth for a moment, searching for her reply.
“Well, I just…” she stops, sighs, starts again. “Thank you,” she says instead. She is so free and constant with her gratitude, Halsin notes, like someone who once used to fill those spaces with something else—apologies, perhaps, or self-doubt.
She clears her throat. “Now then. I came out here to play some music.” She speaks quickly, hastening her retreat from the topic. “Might I tempt you with a song?”
Halsin cannot keep himself from smiling broadly. “You can tempt me however you like,” he says, and delights in the particular shade of purple that spreads from her cheeks to the tips of her ears.
“Alright,” she squeaks. “Most of the ones I know are rather upbeat and boisterous, but I have one particular one for a night such as this.” She retrieves her lute from her side and repositions herself, one leg crossed over her thigh, the other hanging off the edge of the rock again. She plucks a few strings to find her range, and hums a few lines.
Already, Halsin is transfixed; he slides forward, nearer to her, to sit shoulder-to-shoulder. She is the picture of calm focus, and an easy comfort settles around her, commingling with the swirling fog. She keeps her eyes closed, takes a deep breath, and begins to sing .
“Enter the wild with care, my love,
And speak the things you see.
Let new names take and root and thrive and grow.
And even as you travel far from heather, crag and river…
May you like the little fisher, set the stream alight with glitter,
May you enter now as otter, without falter into water.”
Halsin’s breath catches in his throat. Her voice is a velveteen balm, hushed and warm and soothing. She plucks at the doubled strings of her lute with delicate precision, the notes lingering in the air like they are loath to part from her. And those words, those reverent words—they capture the spirit of nature as though they were spoken by Silvanus himself. Nethralia takes a deep breath and looks up, eyes shining as she is haloed in the silvered moonlight, and continues singing. Halsin would sooner be cast into the Shadowfell again than look away.
“ Look to the sky with care, my love,
And speak the things you see.
Let new names take and root and thrive and grow.
And even as you journey on, past dying stars exploding,
Like the gilded one in flight, leave your little gifts of light.
And in the dead of night my darling…”
She trails off and glances over at Halsin, lips turned up in a tender smile, and he can only respond in kind before she looks back over the lake.
“...find the gleaming eye of starling.
Like the little aviator, sing your heart to all dark matter.”
The lull between verses is filled by the tapping of her heel against the rock, keeping time with her strumming. A breeze stirs the surface of the water, emboldening the lapping waves below, as if she is singing magic into the very lake itself, encouraging it to sing with her. The lute sound is mellow and warm, but he realizes just how much he misses her voice, light and lilting. He is here, and he is seeing her in this moment, rooted in the reality of the moonlight and the waves and the fog, but his heart is alight with the sparks of daydreams: walking hand in hand with her through vale and forest, her voice joining with the dawn choir of birdsong, the hem of her robe catching dewdrops and spiderwebs. He is powerless to stop himself, and knows the moment will pass too soon, so why shouldn’t his heart soar with wild abandon, here in this sacred sliver of time? There is no looming threat of Moonrise, no beckoning mausoleum, no Absolute. Just Halsin, awed and dumbstruck, and Nethralia, serenity incarnate.
“Walk through the world with care, my love,
And sing the things you see.
Let new names take and root and thrive and grow.
And even as you stumble through machair sands eroding,
Let the fern unfurl your grieving, let the heron still your breathing,
Let the selkie swim you deeper, oh my little silver-seeker,
Even as the hour grows bleaker, be the singer and the speaker.”
The tune slows. The tapping of her foot ceases, the water calms. Neth meets his eye again, her own blazing moon-bright and ethereal.
“And in city and in forest, let the larks become your chorus,” she sings. “ And when every hope is gone, let the raven call you home.”
Like a curtain closing over a stage, a new wave of fog rolls in and over them both, diffusing the moonlight and draping them in shadow. It swallows up the last of the echoes from her song, and only when she lets out a deep sigh and puts her lute to the side does he dare speak and break the moment.
“That was magical,” he says, for he has no other words. Well, he does, but they are lost among the rise of feelings in his heart, and he is desperate to practice restraint. If they could go back to that moment, the one that held no promise of war, perhaps he could speak everything he wishes to say, and act in all the ways he wishes he could act. Perhaps he could show her all she does to him, and perhaps she might admit she feels the same.
But this is not that moment, and he breathes his attachment to it out slowly, along with all of his idle dreams and hopes for her. Here, now , is something different, and he doesn’t want to miss a second.
“Thank you,” Neth replies shyly, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve. She shifts side to side, and Halsin wonders if she is going to stand up and take her leave, but then—she leans into him, and lays her head against his arm.
“My mother taught it to me,” she elaborates. “It was one of a few lullabies she sang to me every night when I was growing up. It isn’t something I can perform often, so I…I appreciate you listening.”
“Of course,” he responds instantly. “I was—am—honored that you shared such an important piece of your history with me. I will treasure it always.”
He feels her shake with silent laughter against his arm. “You’re very…uninhibited, you know?” she says. Her tone is light, almost humorous, but he senses a hesitation in her words.
He lets out a low chuckle. “I am. I have not found much point in being anything but honest and open. …Why? Would you prefer I not be?”
The space before she replies seems to stretch for hours, and he hopes his heart isn’t pounding loudly enough for her to hear while she considers. Of course he would be happy to occupy whatever space she can offer in her heart, and certainly this isn’t something they can even move further in discussing, or acting upon, with the state of things as they are, but maybe, maybe …after Ketheric is vanquished, and the shadow-curse continues to recede, there may be a moment where this silver seed of hope that has found root within his heart might bloom into something bigger, something promised, something free and wild and shared.
“No,” she decides, and he lets out a breath in relief. In joy . She leans in closer, allowing him to wrap an arm over her shoulders. She fits perfectly against him, even with her horns. “I prefer you just as you are.”
He laughs. How could he have ever considered otherwise? Whatever weight had held him down before, had run through his mind and kept him from rest—it feels lifted, carried away on wings of song. He is lighter, at peace, and as he feels Neth drift away to sleep, her breathing growing slow and steady, he knows that after he carries her back to camp and sets her down upon her bedroll, he, too, will find solace and rest tonight.
#halsin#halsin/tav#astarion/tav#if you squint. it'll be there More since the actual ship is astarion/tav/halsin but yknow. one fic at a time#tav in this case is my tiefling named nethralia whom i love and adore#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fic#nika writes things
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Compilation of Various Changeling Headcanons of Mine
Been a while since I last wrote a massive list of hc's I have for a character, but I've been feeling bad for the lack of Patho content I’ve been sharing and want an excuse to talk about our beloved Clara the Changeling 🐀✨
Some spoilers for two of Pathologic Classic's endings are included in these, I should mention. Otherwise, enjoy!
Clara is a demisexual lesbian. I don’t need to do an in-depth detailed analysis to prove it, I just… know it!
She’s also neurodivergent, but in a way that makes it hard to give her a proper diagnosis. Really it’s most likely that she has overlapping disorders (adhd, bpd, autism) mixed in with others exclusive to those who’ve spawned from the Earth.
I’ve discussed this in another post once, but Clara’s biggest fear is her own body. A combination of knowing she was born from the clay and bones of the Earth combined with the truth about the world itself has given her a dreadful insight on how fundamentally different her physiology is from the other humans in the Town. Oftentimes she’ll feel different textures than what her skin and hair is supposed to feel like, and will need to stop what she’s doing and convince her mind that she’s real before the right textures return to her senses.
Is a tactile learner, and often prefers to show affection via touch (ex: patting one on the shoulder/back, holding hands, hugging, etc.)
The stress of her journey made her shed many tears, but now she’s become embarrassed about it. She’ll do everything in her power not to cry in front of others if she’s ever upset, simply saving it until she’s buried herself under some bed sheets or finds a lonely alley to cry her sorrows away.
That being said, if someone she cares about did find her sobbing and wanted to comfort her, she would throw herself into their arms and take in their compassion like a flea to fresh blood!
Clara was born with an innate understanding for very adult concepts and philosophies despite having the body and mind of a teenager. However, she finds herself preferring the conversations she has with the Town’s kids compared to the adults.
For example, with Sticky and Murky she can assuredly engage in a long, thoughtful debate on the mystical qualities and immaterial essence of life held within some nuts they found lying the dirt, while with the Bachelor and Haruspex she needed to slowly and carefully explain to them why it’s wrong for adult men their age to bully a teenage girl.
I have many complex feelings on her bond with Alexander Block, but I do believe that after her meeting with The Powers That Be she chooses not to accompany Block on the front lines. Even if she wants to leave, she knows more than anyone that this world only exists within the confines of its setting, and thus she can only live within the space created for her and the others. Perhaps Block can leave, but just as she says to him in her ending, "You came out of thin air and you'll pass into nothingness."
She still sees the Albino as her brother, and will often times travel deep into the steppe to visit him.
Once the plague is quelled Clara eventually begins to form a new family unit by being communally raised; essentially moving about at her own leisure between the residences of the members of her bound most patient with her (Yulia, Rubin, Lara, and even Bad Grief on some occasions) as well as Daniil and Artemy, who are both willing to put their past quarreling behind them. Presuming the Termite Ending was picked, of course!
The Saburovs remain unwilling to accept the future granted to the Termites, and Katarina in particular still believes that Clara is her proper heir and has tried to reach out and bring her back into their care to start over. She avoids them like the plague, still not ready to forgive them for abandoning her.
If the Humble Ending was picked, then she lives all by herself in the Rod, with only the consistent company of her two surviving humbles and the Bachelor and Haruspex; the three having ended their feuding after learning the shared knowledge of being dolls, yet still haven't fully recovered from the trauma of it all. She sends letters to Commander Block hoping to hear about what the outside world is truly like, even if all he can tell her are what battles lay on the front lines, and is trying to defy her fated rivalry against Maria and Capella by trying to form an alliance, perhaps even a friendship, with them to ensure a good future for the Town.
Capella is the only one willing to tolerate her presence at the moment, yet is still uneasy about this new future the Changeling has created…
While Clara always preaches about her fierce understanding of the divine powers of love, she genuinely does not understand the concept of being loved herself. Thanks to her hasty upbringing in a cult, she assumes that it is something like a commodity: needing to be earned by successfully completing tasks, and being instantly lost if she fails said tasks. The reason her mood nosedives into dramatic self-loathing whenever she angers/fails the people she cares about is because she believes that they now no longer love her as much as they used to.
Okay those last few points were pretty depressing, let me lighten it up a bit. Clara and Grace often have fun sleepovers in the cemetery together! Or at least what weird teenage girls closely connected to death find fun, like communicating with the dead and expressing their feelings toward one another in a series of flowery, cryptic riddles :)
I can totally see her owning pet rats! They’ll cling to her scarf and ride her like a taxi as she walks throughout town, freaking out every adult she passes.
Going back once more to her complex feelings about her own body, Clara also feels just as strange about her gender. She knows her anatomy isn’t built the same way “normal” girls’ are, despite taking the form of one. Often she feared that those who knew of her unnatural birth secretly saw her as an inhuman monstrosity, let alone those who haven’t found out yet. But eventually, with the support of those closest to her, she learns that humans inherently do not fit into the neat, fantastical boxes of cis heteronormalcy and slowly embraces her unique form of girlhood, and perhaps may start experimenting with using other pronouns too.
#clara the changeling#pathologic#pathologic headcanons#if anything this came about to hype myself up for a clara centric fic I’m writing#but it has been a while since I posted a massive hc list#I need to get back into the habit of that
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
might have more thoughts to add to your drag essay later but for now Big Yes ++ i also have been thinking about the way that Archetypes have been a throughline in basically all of gerard's art, from mcr's concept albums through (what i have seen of) his comic stuff and earlier illustrations and now very vividly in these tour costumes. which to me feels drag-adjcacent, so much of drag culture is about appropriating and camping up (pointing at, exaggerating, making absurd, celebrating) pop culture figures & cultural icons/archetypes. gerard's 2022 costumes are doing the appropriating but not so much the camping, with the exception of the casino king moment -- but camp has been such an important factor in almost all of mcr's history before this (whole books could be written about this). i'd say the black parade look at its peak with all of its liza/fosse influence was Bandleader Drag moreso than the cheerleader look was Cheerleader Drag despite the apparent crossdressing-ness of the latter. yknow?
this is from 21 days ago!!!!! im here now. this is exactly my point. the art form of drag is marked by exaggeration of gender presentation, which is often represented by pop culture figures because they are the arbiters of iconized (ie dramatized ie context-divorced ie CAMPY) femininity or masculinity. people do drag of celebrity performers like elvis or liza, archetypes like construction workers or show girls. one part of drag i didnt talk about is its appropriation of beauty standards -- breast enhancers, faux abs, accentuated glam make-up. there is no focus on beauty in gerard's 2022-23 costumes (are they costumes?) as ive said, theyre casual clothes. it cant be drag. the presentation isnt about accentuation, it's about something else.
it's fun that this point has been further proven by how nonchalant the office worker was. the drama wasnt in the outfit, it was in the gore. there's nothing gendered there. though someone who is typically seen as a man donning female conservative wear and therefore twisting that descriptor is interesting in of itself (as spittingout said)!!!! office drag makes fun of hyperfeminine conservativism. as casual clothes, the effect is different. the subtlety positions these outfits as normal -- which they are.
a while ago i wrote about how critics used the word "camp" incorrectly to detract from my chem being unironically good. i dont like the piece today. i honestly didnt realize that a lot of mcr music is enjoyed for its drama more than its content. my penchant for sincerely consuming everything blinded me. but i do like my classic approach to what makes camp camp -- how it's an intellectual's hidden gem, not something intended. i applied that to how ppl didnt understand the nonconforming looks of my chem past, making the looks camp objects (meaning objects that are highly dramatic because of their lost meaning).
these campy looks include the bandleader persona. the look is gendered by gerard's stage attitude -- the brooding, the aggression, the boxy stature. though the hair and clothing are non descript, they're read as masculine -- the idea that the lack of gender indicates masculinity is a big gender theory topic. even when the original hairstyle is a feminine pixie and the black parade jacket has a corset back, the fact they are, respectively, short and suit-like lands further from feminine readings. SOOOOOOOOOOO all this to say the bandleader is an exaggeration of agender-practically-masculine archetypes like fosse's emcee (a clown doing showman drag, doing showgirl drag, doing fash drag -- more likely to be read as masculine over feminine despite the make-up because clowns are agender, which we know as functionally masculine). wipes brow
another point u didnt talk about but just thought of. INTERESTING that the use of the word "drag" in three cheers ("they make me do push-ups in drag") is obviously synonymous with cross-dressing cuz it's supposed to be embarrassing, while the use of "drag" in black parade ("here's my resignation ill serve it in drag") is closer to the art form or at least empowered cross-dressing. also a fun pun! serve 👨💼 and serve 💅
#thank u for the great insights!!#hope this is intelligible#i could probably make this shorter but when have i ever done that#mcr#mcr queer studies#qessay#ask#mcr fashion studies
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Cover] My Third Chapter, Actor Park Seoham
Recently, together with fellow actors Shin Eunsoo and Yang Byungyeol, who are from the same agency, went on a trip to Australia. The reason behind your trip together was.
= Among the contents on the agency's YouTube channel, there is a program called <Nemo Travel>. It was part of that, and it was a time where actors and staff could share many stories and get closer. It was my first time in Australia, and I was surprised by how vast it was compared to what I had expected. The emerald sea stretched endlessly, it was truly a beautiful place.
You often post landscape photos, it seems you enjoy seeing natural scenery.
= I do. (Laughs) I like just seeing landscapes without any subjects framed in the shot.
I saw on social media that you watched "Home Alone" on the plane to Australia. Do you have a special affection for this movie?
= Watching "Home Alone" brings warmth to my heart because of its unique Christmas atmosphere. I'm trying to watch more dramas and movies than before. Recently, I rewatched "My Sassy Girl," and senior actor Ryu Seungsoo appeared with such a youthful look. Being able to consistently record the changes is truly a blessing of being an actor.
Singer's Dream, Actor's Dream
After interviewing with in 2022, two years have passed. What changes have you noticed?
= Many things have changed. First of all, I now have an agency, so I feel a sense of stability in various ways, and I'm grateful for the current situation. Of course, going to the set without a company while filming "Semantic Error" was a big life lesson for me. When will I ever again have to prepare costumes and organize the daily shooting schedule all by myself? And two years ago, during the interview, I was worried about turning thirty. It felt like my world was going to collapse, but now I don't have such worries anymore. Instead of being hung up on age, I've grown a desire to do better in the future.
After receiving a lot of attention for "Semantic Error," you immediately experienced a hiatus. Were you disappointed or anxious?
= I'm human too, so if I said I wasn't disappointed or anxious, it would be a lie. When "Semantic Error" was released, it was the first time I experienced such great interest and love during my career. It was disappointing and saddening to have a hiatus before fully realizing it. However, I suddenly thought that perhaps it was a chance given from above to take more time for reassessment. There were still many areas where I lacked, so even if I had been lucky enough to immediately enter another project at that time, I don't think I would have done well. Instead, I'm grateful for having the time to reflect on myself while catching my breath. Just having regrets won't accomplish anything. I'll continue to do what I can with gratitude for the love I receive.
This year marks 8th year since debut. Despite spending a long time on stage and meeting many people, you were actually a quiet student during your school days.
= Back then, I was even more timid, so I really went to school quietly. My mother used to say, "You didn't go through adolescence," because I was so quiet. I jokingly said to fans during a live broadcast on social media, "I would feel so unjust if people said I was a delinquent because I was such a good student." But then, when fans posted my graduation photo, they said, "No one thinks like that." (Laughs) I was a student who didn't even know how to dress up to that extent.
How did a quiet student who wasn't interested in being stylish end up dreaming of becoming a singer?
= Among my close friends, there was someone who wanted to become a singer. I accompanied them to a public audition, and there I received an audition offer myself and began my journey as an idol trainee. Living with trainee friends and practicing dance and singing became enjoyable, just like going on a school trip. As I received monthly evaluations, I developed a desire to improve gradually. It was during my senior year of high school, when I started my trainee life, that I first began to have a dream. Before that, I didn't have any aspirations for the future. I couldn't give up on a dream that arose after nearly 20 years, so even though my debut was postponed, I persevered and eventually stood on stage.
You have been balancing acting alongside your idol career since your idol days. Did you start thinking about acting around the same time you wanted to act?
= At first, I didn't have that thought. Being recognized as an idol was my priority. Whenever I was a trainee, I always heard, "You're more like a model than an idol." I thought to myself, "Where does that even come from?" Out of frustration, I didn't even consider other paths. So when the opportunity came to audition for the drama <20th Century Boy and Girl>, I approached it comfortably without feeling burdened, and the production team seemed to appreciate that aspect of me.
The drama <20th Century Boy and Girl> is your debut work as an actor. It must have been a completely different feeling to stand alone in front of the camera as an actor, having previously only been involved in group activities.
= I had to handle everything on my own and take full responsibility for it. I was afraid because I had nowhere to rely on. That's when I realized that acting was a difficult task.
In "20th Century Boy and Girl," you made a brief appearance as the child Anthony (played by Lee Sangwoo), whereas in the web drama "Just One Bite" Season 2, you took on the main role of Joo Wookyung and delved into acting more earnestly.
= It was the first time I had spoken so many lines. The actor who played Joo Wookyung in Season 1 had to leave due to personal reasons, and I stepped into that role. Considering that viewers might already find me unfamiliar, I felt a pressure to ensure that I wouldn't become a burden to the production. I didn't even receive proper acting lessons and practiced alone, so I didn't know what I was doing wrong. However, after completing that project somehow, I gained more ambition and courage to do better.
Afterward, you appeared consecutively in the web dramas "Dating Class" and "One Fine Week." They are all romantic comedies, and the characters you played are generally upright and straightforward men. What do you think was the reason for continuously receiving such roles?
= It might be because my actual personality is similar to those characters. Both Wookyung from "Just One Bite" Season 2 and Yoonsoo from "Dating Class" generally have gentle personalities. Although my personality itself isn't exactly FM style, I often hear that I have an outwardly polite appearance, so perhaps they found a commonality in that aspect. While our personalities may be similar, acting was still challenging. For example, Yoonsoo is a character who is like a robot, and it was difficult to match the stiffness of his speech. So, I did a lot of research on character speech patterns by watching videos of other actors or people. I particularly enjoyed playing Eden in "One Fine Week" because although he appeared polite on the outside, his inner self was completely different. It was fun to express a personality that was different from mine.
Director Kim Soojung of "Semantic Error" once said about actor Park Seoham, "He is diligent enough to be the first to arrive on set, and his skill improvement is evident because of his good adaptability." I thought this diligence might have been cultivated through years of idol life.
= That's right. Especially since KNK wasn't a very active group, each schedule was highly valued. On the set of "Semantic Error," all the staff members, including the director, were senior to me. So even before filming began, I would ask for advice and express my willingness to learn. Director Kim Soojung, in particular, gave me a lot of advice on things to consider before shooting and methods for acting practice. To hear such stories, I had to be on set early.
As an actor, what are your strengths?
= It's still a stage of exploration, and I want to find it. Just two years ago, the word "actor" felt too heavy. But now, I confidently call myself an actor. I want to become a person who lives up to the weight of that title. I am as strong as my perseverance. I endured the tough trainee days and KNK activities with that strength. I will continue to carry with me perseverance and a diligent attitude.
Some actors who started their careers as singers have returned to music by releasing albums or engaging in music activities alongside acting. Do you have a desire to pursue both acting and music simultaneously?
= I'm not sure. Right now, I don't feel confident enough to go back to music broadcasts. (Laughs)
While looking forward to another stroke of luck,
Was the photo essay "March For You" published at the suggestion of the publishing company?
= I see. At first, I hesitated. Isn't publishing a book something anyone can do? But if it's a book that fans would enjoy, I felt confident. Initially, I considered only a photo book, but I wanted to put more effort into it and ended up writing longer passages. It took quite some time, but I'm satisfied with the outcome for my first book. I believe fans will also enjoy it.
Did you come up with the title yourself?
= The original title was 'Crazily Survived Days.' (Laughs) Personally, I really like the number 3. Since I mainly covered my daily life in the book, the photos and content weren't flashy or provocative. So, I came up with the title 'Crazily Survived Days,' meaning 'I've calmly dealt with my days like blanching vegetables.' Ultimately, the title 'March For You' was chosen.
There are many landscape photos in the book as well. If you had to pick your favorite among them?
= They are cherry blossom photos. They bloom and wither quickly, but I like the way they look when they're in full bloom. There were several of them included repeatedly, and I didn't want to leave any out, so I ended up including them all.
You held a fan meeting not long ago and mentioned wanting to try playing a "bad role." The range of what constitutes a "bad role" is quite broad. I'm curious about what specifically you'd like to try.
= I haven't thought about specific genres or characters, but I do want to try playing a multidimensional villain. I recently watched a drama called "It's Your Turn" where a character initially seemed kind but turned out to be the culprit. That setup was shocking to me. I would like to try portraying such a multidimensional villain.
Your previous answer about being interested in romantic comedy is still valid?
= Absolutely! I'm very interested! I've done a lot of romantic comedies in the past and have always enjoyed filming them, so I'd love to challenge myself with more. The same goes for classic melodramas too.
Do you also have a desire to work in movies?
= Of course, I do. However, I don't want to express a vague desire like "I want to try movies" in this context. I still feel that I have a lot to improve, so I'm diligently preparing and steadily building up my skills. When a good opportunity comes along, I won't hesitate to pour my heart into it.
Do you have any upcoming projects in preparation?
= I'm scheduled to start filming soon. I'll be spending most of the week taking action and horseback riding lessons. I really want to emphasize that this is a huge spoiler. (Laughs) I've never really fought anyone in my life, so action is a bit of a challenge… But I've been praised for my talent in horseback riding lessons. It's been almost two years since I've seen in a project, so I'm doing my best to learn and make fans proud.
I've been incredibly busy since the beginning of the year. If I were to share my plans for the remaining year…
= Once the filming for the next project starts, the rest of the year will probably pass by quickly. Finishing this year like that makes me feel like I can welcome next year with real excitement. Personally, I like the number 3, and I'll be turning 33 next year. (Laughs) On the day of my 8th debut anniversary, I looked through old photos, and it felt strange. So much has changed. Looking back at past hardships, I now think, 'Yeah, those things happened,' 'What was so difficult about that?' Life seems to have cycles of luck and misfortune. Now, whenever I'm going through a tough time, I wait for the happiness that will come to me. I used to be afraid of the future, but these days, I'm curious about my future.
Park Seoham's Four Seasons
Spring - Busker Busker's "Cherry Blossom Ending" , TWS "Plot Twist"
When I was a trainee, an album containing was released. At that time, I went to the Han River with other trainees and listened to the album from track 1 to the end together. Whenever I listen to , it feels like I can smell spring and remember that day at the Han River. So, it's a song I always seek out when spring comes. These days, I also listen to TWS's "Plot Twist" frequently. They're so adorable that it makes me want to have a son like them!
Summer - Drama "My Name is Kim Sam Soon"
It was a drama my mother really enjoyed. We used to sit together and watch TV, but at that time, I don't think I fully understood the emotions of the characters. As time passed and I watched it again, I understood why my mother found it so entertaining. At that time, even though Sam Soon was only in her thirties, she seemed stressed because of her age. Now that I'm in my thirties, those concerns resonate with me differently. This year, I turned thirty-two, and Sam Soon, who is just in her thirties, seems too young. When I reach my forties, I'll probably look back and think that my thirty-two-year-old self seemed quite young too, right? With these thoughts in mind, I appreciate the drama each year with a different perspective.
Autumn - Yoon Do-hyun's "I Guess I Loved You" Deli spice's "Chow Chow"
In autumn, it's always about ballads. Yoon Do-hyun's "I Guess I Loved You" and Deli spice's "Chow Chow" are my go-to songs when the weather gets chilly and autumn sets in. As soon as I feel that autumn vibe, I immediately add them to my playlist and put them on repeat.
Winter - Drama "My Liberation Notes"
I've rewatched it about 6 times so far. Even when I traveled to Australia, I watched it again on the plane. It's a work that deeply resonates with me, and it comes to mind when the weather gets cold. The atmosphere and story portrayed in the video are simple and not overly stimulating, allowing me to watch it comfortably. There are heart-wrenching moments in every episode that keep me coming back for more.
Source: [커버] 나의 세번째 챕터, 배우 박서함 (cine21.com)
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
This is kinda vague for a Touhou question but who is the girl with the rainbow wings?? They look like shards and they’re so pretty I love her design sm
that's flandre scarlet! she's one of the most famous characters in the series, so i'm not surprised you've seen her a lot. weirdly enough though, she's not as important in canon material as her prominence in fandom and internet culture seems to suggest.
her first appearance was in the sixth game in the project, touhou koumakyou ~ the embodiment of scarlet devil., which is undeniably the most popular game in the franchise. this is partly because it's the first game in the series to run on windows systems, and the earliest one to still be in print. not to mention it has arguably become the earliest "relevant" installment in terms of canon, since the plots of games released before it have largely been ignored, in what can be retroactively called a soft reboot of sorts, although it wasn't planned to be at first. in this game, flandre is the extra stage boss encounter, and so she's the final, hardest boss you can fight.
as far as personality goes, flandre is a very trope-y character by modern standards. she's a 500 year old vampire who is extremely dangerous, but behaves like a little child. she's very naive and earnest, wanting nothing more than someone to play with. however, she doesn't know her own limits, and her "playing" is a bit too much for most people to handle if they encounter her. so, to keep from too much damage being dealt in gensoukyou, she stays kept in the basement of her sister remilia's mansion (which, for the record, she seems perfectly content with).
flandre is one of those characters who is, pardon the pun, flanderized in fandom constantly. while in canon, she's not much more than a regular-if-rambunctious child emotionally, the fandom had a habit of, for lack of a better word, yandere-fying her—especially back in the 2000s; less so nowadays. she was often depicted as a crazed lunatic, with tendencies of going on a rampage in a lust for blood. if you couldn't tell, i despise this interpretation, and it tarnished her reputation to me somewhat. nowadays i can look past it, but for a long time it was hard not to, since there wasn't much to her character in canon materials to appreciate, leaving her fanon representation to drown them out in contrast.
character inspiration wise, flandre is... a vampire. yeah, that's about it. i don't really enjoy koumakyou's cast very much, partly due to how little depth there is to their inspiration. there's not a lot of subtext to koumakyou's plot; it's closer to most other shmups of its ilk in that the plot in this era of the series is more of a set-piece to justify the gameplay, and this extends to the game's cast as well. most of koumakyou's characters get more meat to them as they return in later spinoff materials, but as for flandre, well...
following her debut, she would not show up again. for a long time. aside from a single short article in the spinoff book touhou bunkachou ~ bohemian archive in japanese red., and a dialogue-less boss encounter for one or two short stages in touhou bunkachou ~ shoot the bullet., she all but vanished from the series entirely. she had zero speaking lines for 14 years. despite this, she remained one of, if not the single most popular character in the fanbase, due to the aforementioned fan interpretations of her, along with her prominence in memes like ran ran ruu.
this lack of appearances has changed recently, though. out of nowhere in 2020, she made a minor appearance in an ongoing manga, touhou chireikiden hansoku tantei satori, and then about 2 years after this she appeared in the action game spinoff, touhou gouyoku ibun ~ suibotsushita chinshuu jigoku, as a playable protagonist of all things! needless to say, she's had a bit of a resurgence, some time after her prominence has finally begun to fade away a fair bit in fandom. its made me change my opinion of her quite a bit, since, hey, now she actually has something to offer as a character! im genuinely looking forward to seeing what more of her zun might be thinking of including in the future, if he continues this trend.
while we're on positives, her design: man, it rocks. i'm sure her iconic character design is a huge factor in why she caught on in the fanbase for so long. the wings and her lævateinn lance make for an unmistakable silhouette. even if her design doesn't borrow much inspiration from any specific legends of vampires or whatnot, it still makes itself memorable with just its iconography, to the point where she's instantly recognizable even to people who don't know her name. people may rag on zun's art for his poor anatomy (which he has drastically improved on over the years, i might add), but he is undeniably a master of character design. i'll defend him on this front any day.
overall, flandre isn't someone i'm super attached to, but i can't deny her importance to the franchise overall, and i'm slowly growing on her as her relevance to the series has reemerged in recent years. shine on, you crazy 16 diamonds.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't believe I'm exhausted to the point I'm starting to write a post about Garfield, but... sure, let's go.
Despite being to me just another random inoffensive comic I would grab when I was irremediably bored (too bored to gather the mental energy to read a real book), I think it's fair to say that the lasagna-loving cat has reached meme status.........
Every now and then I'll see or hear someone point out that it's ridiculous for a cat, who doesn't go to work or have any obligations, to hate Mondays. That's honestly true. And for the most part, I believe this is a tongue-in-cheek remark, since it only takes glancing at a couple Garfield-hates-Mondays comic strips to know that Garfield's relationship with Mondays is absurd and exaggerated for laughs. Also it's not that deep, he's a cat obsessed with lasagna, whose ability to talk (or lack thereof) is a mystery, and Jon murdered Lyman in cold blood to steal Odie from him. But still, I have seen this sentiment be shared sometimes with the implied meaning of "yeah, that's really dumb and it doesn't make sense, why did Jim Davis think that was a good idea?"
So I'd like to draw your attention to a memory I, myself, have from my childhood, which I promise wasn't that long ago at all.
When I went to and came back from school, every morning and every night, in front of most subway stations, there would be people handing out free newspapers, either the morning or the evening edition. Every evening, I would take my favourite evening paper, glance at its contents just in case an article appealed to me, and then turn it around to read the daily comic strip.
Though the newspaper where I lived didn't print Garfield comics, this is what Garfield originally was. From 1978 (ignoring the Jon comic strip which was also printed by the Times beforehand from what I'm learning by glancing at the Wikipedia page just in case), Garfield was syndicated and distributed in 41 newspapers. (I didn't think it would be that many from the get-go.) This meant that on Labor Day on September 4, 1978, young readers were able to skip all the boring text and rush to the page where this strip was printed:
And on September 18, 1978, which fell on a Monday, readers of all ages were able to read this strip:
This shows that Garfield's relationship with Mondays was akin to a curse from the get-go, but most importantly, it being Monday and Mondays being bad in the Garfield comic strip was never about Garfield. It was about the workers who would read the daily paper on their commute, who probably hated Mondays because they meant the week-end was over, and would enjoy their short-form entertainment being relatable.
Since it's Monday for you, it's also Monday for your good friend Garfield. And by the way, Mondays are the WORST right? That's right, you're not alone, we're all reading Garfield at the same time and feeling the same way.
It wasn't just Garfield - very often, those short strips at the back of the paper had close to no actual substance. Using the comic to point out "today's Monday, and you probably hate it" was a simple way to make some people smile. Your thoughts being mirrored back to you by a funky orange cat in a wacky situation can easily make them feel less dramatic.
#my tummy hurts i'm tired i'm hungry everything is wrong help me#done writing: i ate a croissant i feel a little better now#garfield#comic strip#random
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I legit came back to talk about OurSkyy MSP. There were many aspects of it that I loved and many more aspects of it that kind of disappointed me.
Things I loved
Firstly, I absolutely adored Music Club President Tinn. Gemini once again proves that his comedic timing is impeccable !!! He’s even more cuter and funnier as this universe’s Tinn. Adding on to that, we need to praise Gemini’s acting more. The range that Gemini has shown in all of the roles that he has played so far is praiseworthy and I wish ppl would praise his acting more tbh considering how good he is despite having the least acting experience compared to some of his co stars. Also, I never imagined that we would get a song like Love Love Love from Gemini. The song is so addicting and it’s already gone platinum in my bedroom. Gemini we need that full album 🥹🤟
Fourth my sweet child 🥺 was outstanding. It was refreshing to finally see Fourth in a role where he is rich and gay and not broke and gay (jkjk). High School president Gun was more mature than his counterpart in the OG universe and like even more openly smitten than ever. I’m sure he really enjoyed this role because he finally got to flirt with Gem to his heart’s content. He did really well with making this Gun distinct enough and yet familiar at the same time. And the scene where we hear his thoughts about Tinn on the first day of school is one of my favs (Gun is a bunny teeth Tinn enthusiast 😭🤟)
The Chemistry between Gemini and Fourth felt even better than ever. You could feel how much they were yearning for each other through their stares and bahviour. It felt almost tangible. Another thing I appreciated that even though the TinnGun in this universe are fundamentally different from their OG selves, they still retained some of their characteristics like Gun’s insecurity and Tinn’s characteristics of knowing and being sure of what he wants when it comes to his feelings for Gun.
Things that fell short
With msp having three couples, I understand the difficulty of having to balance everything but as someone who actually likes TinnGun more than any of the side couples, there just wasn’t enough of TinnGun interactions for me in the OS episodes. One of the things that made msp such a good show is the intimacy and interactions between Tinn and Gun as they got to know each other the further their relationship developed. While I understand, it can be hard to show the development of 12 ep show in 2 ep, we didn’t even get 10% of that intimacy and not enough of them talking to each other. While The hug and the handholding was nice, we didn’t even get a cheek kiss or a forehead kiss to make up for the lack of adequate interactions 😞 I was looking forward to seeing more of TG in our skyy but my expectations fell short.
The second ost mv took a chunk of the screen time that could have been better used to give a better Segway to uni students TinnGun but instead product placement was given priority. I actually like the mv a lot but this time could have been better used for a more complete story telling and the mv could have played in the credits similar to how it was for just being friendly mv or really just upload the mv separately on YouTube.
Lastly, the potential this scene had. The writers were definitely going ambitious putting in this scene for the Our Skyy episode and GeminiFourth delivered on the angst. This scene could have lived up to its potential if only it was given more time and depth but alas it fell short. It made me curious about how TinnGun we’re gonna come to terms with their feelings but because of the limited time and the interference of tiwpor, it felt like it was solved too quickly or like there wasn’t just enough time to digest all of it.
All in all, I just wish we had more of TinnGun. It felt really sad to say goodbye to such beloved characters on these terms 😔
#MySchool President#Our Skyy My School President#TinnGun#tinnaphob jirawatthanakul#tinn tinnaphob#gun guntaphon#guntaphon wongwitthaya#gemini norawit#fourth nattawat#Letting out all my feelings about our Skyy msp#MSP#basically it felt like there wasn’t enough time for TinnGun to make the single community even more single than they are#our Skyy universe Tinn is my baby#Gun has to fight with me if he wants him#Jking I love my TinnGun being disgustingly in love with each other#this wasn’t a perfect way to say goodbye to TinnGun but they’ll always be beloved characters close to my heart#GeminiFourth
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Musings on Bumbleby
Big RWBY Spoilers under the cut, big enough that I'm putting a full spoiler cut here.
They actually did it.
I didn't expect this to, like, mean something to me. I expected it to happen, I expected it to be something I was glad to see, but I didn't expect to feel like this about it. And I certainly didn't expect to tear up over it.
The thing is, go back to a few years back, pre-Volume 3, I was not a fandom person. In fact, I was always a bit dismissive about fandom. Now, was some of that the reality that the only person I knew involved in fan stuff was into Dan & Phil RPF and was that my introduction to the concept of fanfiction, yes. But I entirely lacked nuance and dismissed basically the concept of being that into something, and was at a lot of times very shitty about the concept.
And then, just at the end of Volume 2, I started watching RWBY on the recommendation of a friend, enjoyed it a lot, and, having started to dip my toes into Tumblr anyway, had a glance through the tags. Eventually, I came to the first Bumbleby content I found, and for some reason it all started making sense. I saw it, in a way I hadn't really before, and more, I actually got invested in it. I enjoyed seeing fanart of them, I enjoyed reading meta about it, I cared. It was the first time I understood shipping especially, but really fan content in general.
It was weird, though. Why was this the one. I definitely had some... shame is perhaps the wrong word, but I definitely thought it was wrong in some way, being someone who at that point still identified as male and getting this into a wlw ship. It felt like I was engaging with something I didn't have a right to, I worried about fetishising wlw relationships, all of that. But I did care. I cared a lot. I cared enough that the most emotionally resonant and shocking part of V3 was Yang losing her arm and Blake's reaction to that, I cared when they reunited in V5, I cared. Whether I had a right to or not.
As it turns out, I had a right to the whole time. I wasn't some outsider looking in from outside of 'their' community. I'm not saying that Bumbleby helped me realise I was queer, or trans, or a lesbian, not on its own. But starting to engage with queer content in general certainly did, and it was this ship that started me on that path.
I'm a fan of letting artists tell the story they intend, I'm never going to get overly angry if a story doesn't go the way I think it 'should'. But god, I would have been so disappointed if this dynamic was all in my head. Obviously, those fears dulled over the years, it's been pretty certain that this is where Blake and Yang have been headed since at least V6.
But, after all these years, seeing these two finally reach this point, seeing all of it pay off, with no ambiguity, no interruptions, no metaphor... it sort of validates everything. I was right, and they are in love, and despite the fact that they are fictional characters I find myself so, so happy for both of them. And, at a point, I didn't think that was something I was capable of saying.
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
regarding promised neverland (ur replies were turned off, i hope it was just a general thing and not a sign u didnt want any responses to this, if it was the latter feel free to ignore), i watched s1 and never rly watched s2 so i cant say how it is, but i DID finish the entire manga which i never do so it was p enjoyable and despite its many issues, racism being like. a prime one, which ud know from s1, it raised some interesting moral/philosophical questions and had a pretty satisfying ending, so if u dont mind the uhhh human conspumption and psychological torture/trauma/etc and racist depictions (i cant remember if there was anything else after the character that was covered in s1, i dont think so? it was a long time ago and most chars are either demons or the mostly white kids) and any other content warnings that i havent listed here, id recommend it! mostly enjoyed the lack of romance and wack plot and a few blorbo-worthy chars
(part two of this ask) --
(i forgot to add bcs i just remembered it, i did have a discussion abt this w my friends who watched s2 way back in 2019 (but didnt read the manga like me) and who were like wow this sucked and it was essentially just me being like wtf they took out so much of the manga plot!! why did they change thing x and y!! so ig my answer is that the manga is decently different and i didnt have a negative reaction to it as a whole, so even if u dislike s2 id say give the manga a try and see if u like it more
okay, this in addition to someone else's tags convinced me to read it! i actually love the psychological horror stuff and horror in general (you should see my junji ito collection), and the lack of romance in a series about children works just fine for me lol. thanks for the messages!
oh and my replies are just off to anyone who's not a mutual because i have a viral post going around and the replies were getting excessive so i turned them off lol. i welcome asks from anyone!
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
in2evrythin
Into Everything
yopipooh
Realize How Blessed You Are
kaitokitsch
kitschy~
avarinhadasvarinhas
a Varinha das Varinhas