#i promise you both THERE IS MORE TO LIFE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beholdthemem · 2 years

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On one hand I don't have the patience for the kind of people who declare themselves the judge of what does or does not qualify as 'problematic' in a ship, because I've noticed that it inevitably seems to boil down to 'You don't ship the thing that I do, and I don't think that ships besides mine should exist' using progressive sounding buzzwords that kind of fall apart the minute you investigate them closer. ('That's pedophilia!' Two year age gap between an 18 and 20 year old. 'You're homophobic!' Shipping a bisexual dude with a female character.)

On the other hand, I also do not have the patience for the type of people who unironically use the word 'antis' when talking about people who don't like their ship, because every one that I have ever talked to has the BIGGEST fucking victim complex about shipping something unpopular and seems to consider themselves genuinely oppressed because of it to the point where I want to be like

#personal #it's just two different flavors of Too Invested In Fandom Please Go Outside #i promise you both THERE IS MORE TO LIFE #TOUCH GRASS I AM BEGGING YOU #words mean things. 'pedophilia' 'homophobia' etc- those have ACTUAL MEANINGS and YOU HAVE USED NONE OF THEM CORRECTLY.#which i *know* you know.#and then on the other hand it's like...#jfc SOMETIMES PEOPLE THINK THE THING YOU LIKE IS GROSS. THAT SUCKS BUT IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.#GROW UP.#bitch i shipped HitsuHina and GAAMATSU in the 2000s/early 2010s #on FANFICTION.NET.#you know how many death threats you were likely to get per perfectly tame fic containing either of those?#on deviantart??#you don't wail about what a martyr you are to have to deal with it you roll your eyes ignore it and MOVE ON.#buddy on tumblr you can fucking BLOCK PEOPLE! we did not have that option in ye olde FFN days!#THE BLOCK BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND. BLOCK. AND. MOVE ON.#you know how many people I've blocked in the past two months?#neither do i because i no longer bother keeping track #somebody says something rude to me about the thing i like and then i block them and move on with my fuckin day.#10/10 would recommend.

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heymacy · 1 month

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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

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ohitslen · 11 months

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Promises

He should know better.

Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised.

Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.

He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment.

He doesn’t think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vash’s promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies.

Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.

A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.

It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in “what ifs” would only make things harder than what they had to be. He can’t have any ifs if he can’t make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesn’t even have, or will ever have for that matter.

He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit.

But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say “It’s okay, everything will be alright, I promise” so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.

He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them.

So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vash’s breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.

For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vash’s hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vash’s eyes. He wants to see that world.

For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vash’s hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vash’s thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.

He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.

He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isn’t that empty for him after all.

He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vash’s embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.

He should know better.

But aren’t humans weak at the promise of love?

#yeah….mm…mhm yeah #my thoughts were going crazy with this one. because WW crying is something that has me week on the knees #WEAK FFS #also the thought of him becoming bare and emotional at the hands of Vash makes me want to jump around until I pass out #think of it. he is afraid of him in a way. but he trusts him so deeply too it’s such a contrasting and little contradictory thing #more like. denial after denial but yk what I mean. because that’s the whole post #also as a fun fact. while on the making of this thing the line of “it’s okay. everything will be alright. I promise #it’s meant to be said by Vash to WW #but also I did it considering that a)Vash is saying it to himself as well and b)it’s something WW wants to say to Vash as well #they are both incredibly pained men and they know it but don’t adress it. so verbally saying such words to each other issssUUUEHWHAGAH #ah yes. the intimacy of being emotionally vulnerable with the person who you would trust your life to but never openly say shit to eachother #isn’t that such an amazing flavor? I won’t lie to you it’s one of my favorites #trigun #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #trigun fanart #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #nicholas the punisher #lenssi writes #lenssi draws #trigun 2023 #trigun 98 #because I did a mishmash on WW design bc this is meant to be TriStamp time skip in my mind #his eyes were originally their canon steel blue/grayish tone. but while doing the lighting the brown looked gorgeous #i couldn’t help myself so I left it that way. because there is something so beautiful abt his eyes shining like that in #the afternoon light while he becomes undone under the sunset ya feel me?#OHFUCKIALMOSTFORGOT another little detail. Vash’s right hand doesn’t have a glove and it’s on purpose btw you’re welcome

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thelilylav · 1 month

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We only see each other at funerals

(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)

The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art

#nono you don't understand it's about the siblings #it's about how thalia lost jason once only to get him back and lose him again #it's how jason and bianca both walked into their deaths with their eyes wide open #it's about zeus trying to kill nico and bianca and him doing nothing to stop jason from dying #it's about thalia being in the hunters and nico hating her but he knows how to grieve with that kind of loss #so he'll help her. for jason. for bianca. because no one deserves to mourn a sibling alone #like these four barely interact but they're soooo connected i could go on forever #i'm so sad thalia and nico never actually got a scene together after the burning maze #and ALSO #it's about the fact that reyna is one of the most (if not the most) important people left in their lives #LIKE #do you think thalia found out how close nico and reyna were and started watching her more closely #because every person the two of them have shared has ended up six feet under #so reyna gets annoyed with how protective thalia is but she doesn't stop her bc part of her can tell thalia needs it #and nico constantly checks to make sure reyna's life force is still strong #bc he never wants to be caught off guard by a death again #ok im done now i promise #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #nico di angelo #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #web weaving #fanart #my art tag #thalia grace #jason grace #percy jackson #percy jackson fanart #bianca di angelo

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cosmereplay · 5 months

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Poll for current, former, or future Stormlight fanartists!

It seems that many fanartists (and even artists who make canon Stormlight art) go through a period where they've assumed that the characters are basically Fantasy White, and then there's a period of relearning what the characters look like from WoBs or other sources, and maybe even having to learn how to draw epicanthic folds and different skin tones. Judging by the stormlight tag, it's a big learning curve for a lot of people, and I'm curious what that curve is like for artists!

Since tumblr polls are anonymous, please be honest what it's been like for you as a current, former, or future Stormlight fanartist:

If none of these apply, hit reblog, then stick another copy in your drafts to see the results next week!

Please note this isn't the place to complain about whitewashed fanart (though Ash knows we also need that, just elsewhere, not here). This is specifically about the experiences of artists, and at the same time raising awareness of the features of these canonical fantasy ethnicities.

If you're an artist and you'd like to share about your own learning curve in the replies, notes, or privately via DM, go ahead!

And if this doesn't end up with at least 50% in the yeses then I'm throwing it out for self-selection bias😂😂😂

#I promise these polls are anonymous #feel free to lie in the tags if you need to #Ideally I'd like to reduce the shame of having whitewashed characters #while at the same time encouraging more people to speak out about whitewashed art #I might do another poll about experiences calling out/in about whitewashing too if I remember #a healthy fandom can hold both and give space for learning #I know I've made mistakes both in art and in calling out/in ugh #AND #life before death (keep drawing)#strength before weakness (draw when you can hold a growth mindset)#journey before destination (keep pushing your growing edges!)

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hershelwidget · 9 months

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wait hang on

HANG ON

DO YOU SEE MY VISION

#professor inkling #count bleck #TELL ME YOU SEE IT. IM NOT CRAZY #*writes yet another octonauts crossover au-*#OK BUT LISTEN HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT #H E A R ME O U T #in case you're wondering if it's just the monocles NO IT RUNS DEEPER THAN THAT I PROMISE #1. both have been around a long time and founded some sort of group to further their goals (octonauts & team bleck)#2. fancy clothes (yeah inkling's in just a bowtie but remember he's straight up an octopus) that stand out among their peers #3. speaking of that last point: unusual anatomy (one does NOT look a fish and the other is a head torso and floating hands. nothin else)#4. i kinda don't wanna have to pull the mafia au card on this one but if I WAS then: tragic backstories and tragic motives #though then again do we REALLY know anything about inkling- like do we R E A L L Y?? his backstory could be tragic they just aint tellin..#5. avid book readers (bleck let a book tell him how his life was supposed to go this man is clinically into books)#6. defense mechanism that involves darkness (octopus ink & a bLaCk HOLE-)#7. if you see either of them walking it Don't Look Right #8. this is more of an implied thing for them but: knows a LOT about the people they gathered for their causes #9. both from children's media that gets DARK sometimes without warning #10. sometimes they say things and the people around them are just ''what''#11. love interests (ones outright saying it and the other is again just implied but STILL ITS ANOTHER POINT SOOO)#12. ok fine. yes it was the monocles at first but then i thought about it MORE so HA #feel free to add on if i missed something

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hopeless-astronaut · 9 months

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As bad as things were, you were glad you had Qiu and Tamarack here with you.

Higher quality under the cut 💕

Also background is from the game, I did not draw that!!

Bonus version w/ diff mc hairstyle and w/o game background:

#our life now and forever #our life 2 #OL2 #olnf fanart #our life 2 fanart #our life mc #our life fanart #tamarack baumann #qiu lin #my art #walking to school together is one of my favorite scenes so far #it's something i always wanted to do but i live in too big of a town for that to be possible and safe #no lie i play the prologue like twice a week cuz I love it so much #sooooooo unbelievably excited for more and also the kickstarter #just gonna mail gb lady my card and life savings i think. whatever it takes 💕#maybe I'll do this with my other mcs? we'll see ig #tama and qiu my beloveds one day I promise I'll draw you both properly but i got lazy. I'm so sorry 😔#and holy shit I could NAWT make a high quality gif for the life of me 😭 tried like 8 diff apps and websites and this was the best one #if u read this far and have a good one to recommend please gods lmk #alright alright I'm done ranting. everyone go touch grass and drink some water <- will not follow their own advice #wait one more thing this mcs name is Gracie Woods! well her nickname is gracie and her first name is just my irl name #mc gracie

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mswyrr · 10 months

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Random aside, but I’ve been thinking about Carmen Berzatto as a “realistic fiction” version of some of the same themes handled in Peeta Mellark through the vehicle of Sci Fi metaphor.

I always read the hijacking--and how its violence and overtaking of his identity comes after Peeta expressly says all he wants, believing he will die in the Games, is to not become their creature, to not be changed from who he wants to be--as a great metaphor for patterns of abuse and how it gets inside you and can be so hard to uproot and for the way patriarchies beat boys into violent shapes, into being useful tools, and away from the things they love and truly want.

It works for me because it overtakes him but only for a time - in the end, he has the grace and support to embrace the care, love, art, and food that he wants his life to be, even though the hurt leaves marks. I connect that with the idea of how there can be times when, no matter how hard you want to “not be shitty,” it can be easy to lose yourself - but you can find a way back, you can have a good life on your own terms with scars.

I see it as two different approaches to talking about similar things - different genres nonetheless sharing in common the necessity of the moment of losing yourself and then having that come back, through your struggle but not alone, not all by your own power, also through the people around you loving you, for the love you put out into the world coming back to you when you most need it.

Because it’s a dramady and draws on the traditions of comedy--the uplifting side of life, vs the tragic side--and we already start with the tragic loss of one Berzatto son who didn’t find his way through the underworld, I think Carmy is going to come out of the cold, dark place (walk-in fridge or underworld? Both?) in s3. The alternative would be a very.... odd story, I think. Because if they have him keep going down down down and never rising, then the whole thing collapses. The Bear is lost, the people who have become a community scatter. It just doesn’t fit the tone and themes for me. We *start* at a place of everyone being scattered and damaged by Mikey’s loss - it would be nihilistic and repetitive and dramatically uninteresting to do the same thing with the younger brother. And the writing has never displayed that kind of vibe.

But I also think s3 will begin with him continuing his descent before hitting rock bottom and rising. It’ll get worse before it gets better. The descent is fraught with hope, though - because when the person comes back from that they’ve dealt with the things that haunt them. Their wounds have become healed up scars? And they own the person they want to be now, rather than being torn between the influence of others and their own heart’s yearning for better.

Regardless of what setting and genre you’re using, it’s a powerful arc, the descent and the rise and I’m looking forward to it because I believe they’ll pull it off well - they’ve done so beautifully with other characters struggling and rising, why not the lead?

BTW, I will curl up in shipper feels forever if part of his rise from the “underworld” involves Sydney symbolically giving him back to himself--giving him back things he wants to be vs things he’s being drawn into by the pressures on him--like how Katniss gaves things Peeta shared with her back to him:

At a few minutes before four, Peeta turns to me again. "Your favorite color ... it's green?" "That's right." Then I think of something to add. "And yours is orange." "Orange?" He seems unconvinced. "Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once." "Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you." But more words tumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.

Who you are, in the end, is who you want to be and the best of yourself you share with others comes back to you. It’s doesn’t just disappear.

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white-weasel · 11 months

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I am staring DIRECTLY at Film Reroll Luke Skywalker watching and anticipating his next move

#film reroll #the film reroll #Tim Nolan you played him so well!!!!#I don’t think this will happen but this version of Luke is one I can kinda see turning to the dark side??#like think about it. your aunt and uncle are killed. Ben Kenobi tells you it’ll be alright though and that you have the force in you #you can come with him and train to be a Jedi just like your father was #you leave planet and on the way have to put up with this asshole smuggler and even free a serial killer just to get to the rebels #but it’s fine! because once you’re with the rebels you’ll then be able to train with Ben like he’s promised #except you get there and there are two other Jedi candidates. each seemingly better options than you #one is a child who already has pretty good control of the force without anyone telling her how to wield it.#she’s also young and thus full of so much more potential than you #and the other is a woman older than you. but she has so much more life experience. she’s proven herself worthy both to the rebels #and to the force itself. she is strong and basically everything you’re not #but that’s alright too because Ben knows you. of course he’s going to pick to train you!! but then they say your name Skywalker with horror #and you are told about who your father is and how if you are trained and given everything you want you will become just like him #you are evil and violent by nature even though you feel as if you are anything but… except maybe they’re right #because when confronted with this fact your first instinct was to attack an injured man on death’s door #and if Kenobi has his time taken up by training either kahki or Jyn/planning the destruction of the Death Star #Luke is potentially left in a very vulnerable state to stew #I just am foaming at the mouth thinking about it!!!!#(I do feel like Andy will ultimately take Luke in a more redemption/I am not my father by ‘righteous’ sacrifice’ route though #which also has a lot of potential to be delicious)

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katyspersonal · 8 months

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Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.

#/vent #personal #no but when will things stop getting worse?#in moments like this I feel especially bitter thinking about that asshole that went to me like:#'wahh wahh katy i won enough money in the court to buy everything I want but it doesn't matter because I can't buy YOU uwu'#*ten days later* 'actually I don't want a friend/sister anymore can you please stay in your bum spot and simply be my-#-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always?#like no I am not materialistic but when people make dramatic promises of this kind they better stick to them #'nooo but you MUST get out of russia!!!' bitch how? I can hardly afford enough food let alone travelling and living abroad #anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting #sorry it just makes me angry #not so much living in powerty and not being able to crawl out of debt and my life state no matter what #but more about a very consistent trend of having friends that one day get RICH and dump me as 'lower class' right after that happens #he is not the only one like that in my life he is just the most recent one #really speaks about how unlikeable I am if people lose interest in me as soon as they can buy happy things instead #shows that my worth as a human being is super low and I only work as entertainment when people can't buy something to do that instead #like videogames food travels objects books etc etc...#I am just below those things and less interesting than those things and I'll die early hahaha lol #hopes are that supernatural luck power that doesn't want me to escape easily will send me something to help. because yeah my situation-#-is B A D.

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merrymorningofmay · 7 months

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it is with a heavy heart that i report that cesare/volpe is doing it for me

#volpe is having his first and last good thing in life lol #it's volume 9/10 and they probs both gonna die soon but the dynamic compels me #that post that went like “please let me be your sword i'll be such a good blade i promise (begging like a dog)” but i also see you as #more of a concept than a human being and am generally here for my own weird ideology more than your wellbeing or happiness #mutual objectification. they're horrible #while cesare is like gay sex will not fix this and will probably make the situation worse but i feel like self-sabotaging so let's go #mari rambles

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dallonwrites · 9 months

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shadow in my room where there usually isn't one and i know why it's there and what's causing it but my silly ass is like ooooo.....little ghost in my room

#this is so beaucore of me as well btw #beau's exploration of grief one of the most fun for me to write #bc part of it is deadass like “well if i have to grieve i also want to find out if ghosts are real or not”#he is NOT HAPPY that he has yet to see a lingering shadow at the end of the hallway #bobby promising beau that after he dies he'll come back to haunt him so he knows ghosts are real and now beau's like WHERE ARE YOU????#the question i have to answer is like. are ghosts actually real in the canon #i would like to say yes because ghosts are sooo fun but i dont think im gonna approach it in a direct/superantural way #more like an ambiguous/surreal vibe of haunting #one thing i forgot to mention in the wip intro is that beau believes that bobby is communicating with him by influencing his love life lol #which is both ridiculous and endearing i love how his brain works #i would kind of like the haunting to elevate until beau is eventually convinced that bobby's ghost ass is in his room #but in a cool surreal way where as the reader you dont know if that actually is real #but end of the day it doesnt matter if it is because it's real to beau...thats my philosophy on hauntings #but also i just want to have fun with a ghost character. he's not straight up there as a character but he is There u know

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ziracona · 1 year

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I know I say this every time I read my own work, but Speak for the Dead really is the best chapter in ILM.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?”

Jane Romero was smiling at him, sitting propped up against a tree in what had sort of become her usual ‘therapy’ corner in the past almost two weeks. And she was right, it did feel like fall. The air wasn’t as sharply cold as normal, and honestly ‘sharply’ cold was a nice break in and of itself when it happened—usually the weather here was somehow just cold—cold with no adjectives attached. But today it was nicer. It was the kind of waiting fall cold that came when it wasn’t biting outside yet, and it was almost pleasant. A promise of a change in the seasons. Tapp wondered why.

The trees hadn’t started to change color with it, or fall in piles, and as far as he’d gathered there weren’t seasons in here. Everything looked the same. Tall, thick woods, undergrowth and moss and rocks and fallen logs, a slight breeze on and off. Dark sky overhead, full moon, at this point long since throwing off everyone’s idea of what day and night were supposed to mean. All the usual. Except, somehow, the kind of cold in the weather. Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

LIKE. Those opening lines mean nothing but environmental flavor when you read them. But they’re a lead in for the thesis of the entire chapter.

“Well, you know for the first time in a long time this actually feels like fall?” - A promise of a change in the seasons. - Who knew, maybe nothing had changed. Maybe they had just started to feel better.

Like that’s it. Speak for the Dead is about a lot of things, but at its heart it’s about healing. It’s about forgiveness and healing, that exists between the living and the dead. It’s about how you can only speak for them, by speaking for them. Not how you want to punish yourself or live for them, but by how you know they would forgive you, or would ask you to live. Very little other than exchanges of information happen, but so much happens at the same time. All of it significant. It’s hope. It’s about how Tapp (and Meg) have spent every day here fighting in their own way to cope with the agony and failure of their lives, and the loss of people they couldn’t save, and have only dug their wounds deeper. About love. About nothing stoping the lambs from screaming except accepting that they want to let you go.

#god I love this chapter so much. literally I can start reading ANY part of it and get hooked. Me every time I re-read the one time in my #life I hit script perfection for an entire chapter straight: 💕💕💕💕💕#in living memory #in living memory (fic)#Speak for the Dead #I’ll never write something that good again maybe and that’s ok. perfection is perfection god I love that chapter #there so much said and so much unsaid. the way he buries Mandy. Adam trying to help. the fact literally never after in the story /does/ Meg #find out that she almsot died in a Jigsaw trap because she was judged for cutting? never. not post fic either. Ace and Tapp silently both #decide to never tell and she /never/ has to know. the way Meg asks if Michael knew Tapp loved him more than the job and that question is #not answered. she just says ‘he loved you’ and accepts that as a more significant one. the whole Jane discussiom. the way Tapp says ‘yes’#/only/ to ‘did it haunt you?’ when asked serious questions and usually just says ‘I don’t know’ if it’s probably true? the way he talks #about himself? the Saw references??? the dead people’s actions existing like ghosts in the script helping charcaters on a meta textual level #bc I only wrote Tapp surviving with a pen tracheotomy bc Peter Strahm did it? the The Silence of the Lambs thing?#all the ethical discussions that are so conceptual and simultaneously concrete in different ways. even the ethics are the dead and the #living mixing together. the way Tapp’s argument the only thing you can do for the dead is to finish their story for them-to do what they’d #been trying to do—doesn’t change? just what that means to him does. the way the entirety of In Living Memory itself is Philip finishing #Vigo’s story because Vigo is dead? and ILM literally /is/ Vigo’s ghost in the void chronicling these events to watch over and to tell this #story about how Philip is a good man. in which he is fulfilling Philip’s goals for him when Philip no longer can. the entire book is about #love and loss and no chapter in as deep a way as Speak for the Dead captures that on such a literal level #the book is the living speaking for the dead. and the dead speaking for the living. & a hope from that. a promise of a change in the seasons #literally. when they make it in V.S. from the eternal october. to finally November.

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ranvwoop · 8 months

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At least in this world You can make plans with your little friends

#vwoop.noises #I love Arrangements. And Promises. Even #Next saturday I am going to play MINCRAFT with my FRIENDS #and did we play mincraft yesterday. Yes. But its SCHEDULED MINCRAFT HANGING OUT which means I get to LOOK FORWARD TO IT #:]c #In a less funnie way. Oh I am just such a scheduler... probably because of the time soup. I gotta see my pal And we will make arrangements #It's great. Scheduling LOSS is that parents both agreed to take me out 2day and then we had a DIFFERENT scheduling error #And so yesterday's plans r today and I don't get to do the things I was sposed to. But Alas #Sometimes the scheduling giveth and taketh away.#You need things to look forward to in life And also to not trust your parengs. Vwoop wisdom for today #Follow for more Epic life advice #Now back to cheating in pokmon

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i-am-become-a-name · 2 years

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suddenly hit me that both companions that are... lost while in duty to Gallifrey call to the Doctor. Leela actually calls out for him, pleadingly, as she’s being torn apart in the Vortex. Ace hears a TARDIS dematerialising, and says “no- was that? it can’t have been” and even when she doesn’t know where she is, what she is, who she is, she knows what that noise means.

he’s not coming to rescue you this time, my darlings, and how do you save yourself when you’re not even a whole person anymore?

#anyway i'm emotional and going on that gallifrey horror road trip i promised a few months ago. sometimes you just gotta break your own heart #it's also just. the different doctors that they call for. leela calls for a doctor who she trusts will help her and that she can help him.#ace is wavering over a doctor who (heh) will dump her in the middle of things and expect her to work things out. he's not as... reliable #despite his grand master plans. that he left her behind in such a manner is both entirely possible and entirely impossible to her.#audios #gallifrey #anyway i'm kinda bitter i need to know what happens to ace post soldier obscura. fic just isn't doing it for me #in totally different tone the lord burner has absolutely bangin' robes - that's a bit more what i'd like to design my cia robes as. more #drama! more ponce!#oh baby the start of enemy lines #One thing I have learnt Ace in my very long life is that almost of all of us regardless of rank are... expendable.#I suppose it was a mere matter of time before I was deemed surplus to requirements.

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mieczyhale · 1 year

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post: steve shaves his head

me: ..okay.. i guess i get it..

post: and then eddie shaves his head

me, anxious and nauseous: NO THE FUCK HE DOES NOT

#not in solidarity not ever #his hair is important #it's one of the ways he took and keeps control of his own appearance #it's one of the ways he says 'fuck you' to societal rules and expectations #it's important for headbanging #(you can headbang without the hair but it's not the same i promise)#and i love it and need people to stop trying to make eddie into a Regular Dude #i know that post in particular was supposed to be a 'he did it in solidarity with steve' thing but they also phrased it #as them both getting 'a fresh start' at life and shedding reputations or whatever and i hate it #steve wanting to be known for more than his hair is even kinda dumb. to shave it to 'take control from his parents' or whatever #s1 hair was his parents control. his hair after that is all him and he cares about it. likes caring about it. helps dustin with #his own hair. its not a negative thing for steve.#steve is a bisexual who babysits kids that call him mom his best friend is a lesbian and he fights monsters - there's a lot of ways you can #go about giving him freedom and power from/over his parents that doesnt include removing a feature he likes about himself #as for eddie - his whole thing is him not giving a fuck what people think. or at least trying to not give a fuck #its obviously a lot harder when people have decided you're a murderer (with zero proof and based 100% on their idea of you) but #even then - as dustin points out - he never stopped being eddie. no matter the threat against him he never changes anything about himself #to appease others or appeal to others. so why - after all of that - would he be up for a change??? and into something more normal-looking??#nobody gets to dictate anything about him - hasnt since he got away from whoever made him shave his head as a kid - and #they both have fucked up reputations - some of it true and some of it not - but why would they give a fuck?? after EVERYTHING??#steve has grown past stupid high school bullshit like 'popularity' so why would a stupid high school reputation that hasnt been accurate #for years matter to him?? everyone who matters knows him better than that #same goes for eddie #so like... idk man. i know im weirdly attached to certain things about certain characters and yeah it's 'just hair' but like..#when your hair isnt yours to control and then it finally is?? that's a big deal. that's important #and i know i wouldnt give it up for shit.#and maybe shaving their heads could be their decision but i really truly dont fucking think it would be #even just hair cuts feel like No. nope. no thank u. put that hair back where u found it and keep it there #mystposts

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