#i never mentioned shes a woman to me
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grimace shake
#rodimus#i never mentioned shes a woman to me#maccadam#transformers#hotrod#shake so much she detransitioned#grimace shake
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I keep starting and abandoning posts that go into my drafts, as I try to stay tasteful about how fucking revolted this part makes me. Like, I'm legitimately unsure if the very relevant trauma I have is making me see things that aren't here
But first we see that Star Flower is trying to ingratiate herself to the group, just after she reappears from chapter 5. Chapter 5 is about how Clear Sky is still abusive towards his son, and she comes in after stroking his ego, stressing how alone she is, and appealing to how she'll be loyal unlike his child. (She glances over at Thunder, directly implying this.)
Now in Chapter 9, she's babysitting and trying to care for Milkweed's kits (in spite of discomfort from Milkweed), taking a wet sleeping space away from the others, and pulling more than her own weight "without complaint." Putting herself through harsh sitations to prove her worth.
All while trying to appear extra attractive to Thunder, and later Clear Sky. Basically every man in power who can "protect her"
Like, am I going fucking crazy? With how we later find out that Star Flower was "promised as a mate" to One Eye's subordinate Slash, is... is that hypersexualization? One of the extremely stigmatized symptoms of sexual abuse?
She goes to find Clear Sky alone to throw herself at his paws, and he's very quickly attracted to how she promises to perfectly obey him, have no needs of her own, and finally be the perfect servant that he desires
"I don't deserve your trust because I am dirt. I understand you because I also regret something. I'd die for you. I'll never betray you unlike those who have."
This isn't manipulation. She means this. The story is playing their romance sincerely. She's comparing "betraying" Thunder by telling her own father about an assassination ambush to Clear Sky's history of child abuse, physical assault, and murder
She believes she's on the same level as this; a monster who murdered a childhood friend in a fit of entitled rage. She was a victim of One Eye who really believes that the way her father used her means she "understands" this monster, deserves this treatment.
And Clear Sky LIKES that.
He likes that she will have COMPLETE FAITH in him. That she will follow him WITHOUT QUESTION. That she will OBEY his orders. That's fucking verbatim, that's THE TEXT!!!
WHILE HE'S STILL CRYING ABOUT "ive tried to atone every day" FOLLOWING THE LAST TWO BOOKS WHERE THE ONLY SHITTY THING HE DOESN'T DO IS MURDER INNOCENT WOMEN
Am I insane?? Am I wrong??? Am I missing something here???? Why the fuck is the fandom takeaway "haha sexy girl steals his dad." Did I read the same book
#Csa mention#Did they once again do a misogyny so hard they accidentally gave their woman character trauma#My tip to anyone in a draining relationship. If your partner fetishizes that YOU would never leave or betray them unlike ''all the others''#RUN.#There may be a reason their exes cut ties with them and they're praising you for ignoring red flags#Especially when your partner is significantly older and more experienced#Theres nothing noble about constantly suffering for the sake of 'loyalty'#Star Flower PLEASE get out of here you dont fucking deserve this you did nothing wrong#Bones reads dotc#Dotc hate#I thought i was just remembering things wrong when i was adding the subtheme of thunder having a connection to star via abusive dads-#-in my dotc rewrite. But no it's right there. It's in the text and it's something clear is attracted to#I abuse the shit out of my son and he left me once over it#But i can abuse this girl his same age and she won't run. Finally! A victim who won't leave!#And then they become mates and she births at least two litters#Cw abuse#sa mention#EDIT: I've changed the language just slightly#because the timeline COULD work out that starf was an adult when she was promised to slash for a very brief window of time#and hypersexualization is a symptom of trauma resulting from many types of sex abuse. Even that done when the victim was an adult.#it's just more common in CSA
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I was busy within the hour this released. but I'm here now and. ... oh boy just bear with me
youtube
I'm gonna just... copy/paste my initial thoughts as I watched this, here, for the next couple lines:
Final Results:
Now listen to me, I need to scream into the void all my newfound realizations and woes but it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to wake up early the next day. So understand that I'm making this as short as gayly possible (it may not be short at all).
Aside from all the lesbian saxophone that my eyes just witnessed, which is a scream that will never make contact with any airwaves - digital or otherwise - ... The last two minutes of that trailer were entirely unexpected.
Now don't get me fucking wrong I wasn't NOT paying attention to the section of the teaser during the livestream that showed us a glimpse of Black Swan's fear and surprise drowning in that fiery background. but. ... bro— FUCKING COME ONNNN MAN!!
HOW FAST THE SCENE FLIPPED, HOW QUICKLY- WHATEVER THAT THING (IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE ACHERON WE KNOW) WAS TOOK THE LEAD and LITERALLY tossed Black Swan around like a helpless bird. a PREDATOR chasing their PREY
AND THE PREY IS BLACK FUCKING SWAN???? THE FUCKING MEMOKEEPER FROM THE GARDEN OF RECOLLECTION?? THE MYSTERIOUS AND ELEGANT SOOTHSAYER???
To see Black Swan of ALL characters in this game so far be filled with such visceral fear and trepidation, to be tossed around at the MERCY of something that could have so EASILY killed her just like. t h a t. is beyond insane.
I expected it to be more of a "What terrible horrors have you commited?" 'Wow! Horrors that even Black Swan thinks is terrible, Acheron is capable of s-' no she literally almost killed her. She's not a human by the way. Black Swan is not a human being anymore she is like. coNdEnseD mEmORy AND SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
also, we love Allegra Clark in this house this woman is hilarious
#everything I've (HSR pfp obviously) said in these screenshots is completely /j but also I'm dead serious#holy shit#Honkai#Honkai: Star Rail#Honkai Star Rail#HSR#Black Swan when I catch you#you dastardly unapologetic lesbian#actually a fuck around -> find out moment#Allegra Clark the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE#the way you can see BS desperately try to fly away numerous times only for Acheron to drag her back and tear her to shreds more and more#ridiculous#utterly ridiculous#how did they do it#idk if y'all get it I really hold Black Swan to this imperceptible standard#like she really is a divine being (in my mind at least)#her ability to perceive the things that may very well happen in the near & distant future is a CRAZY thing#and it makes her seem so untouchable#so for them to take it to. THIS. extent I just.... I just could never have readied myself for it#Black Swan#Acheron#HSR Acheron#HSR Black Swan#Honkai Star Rail animated short#Rondo Across Countless Kalpas#I loved everything about the trailer btw#Youtube#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost star rail edition#ALSO!! Arryn Zech’s voice is out to get me. CAN’T believe I nearly forgot to mention that
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This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
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can we PLEASE stop tolerating the "god forbid women do anything" jokes when it comes to ACTUAL nonfictional atrocities. its not funny when youre talking abt real life murder, abuse, and exploitation and im tired of seeing it
#toxic femininity and all that....#this is why its dangerous to put women in automatic 'assumed victim' positions#and men in automatic 'assumed perpetrator' positions#the whole men are bad women are victims thing needs to stop rly.#there is no inherent moral value in femininity or masculinity#these jokes make me sick.#woman serial killer murdered x amount of innocent men that shed never met before! and the internet decides shes a girl boss#not to mention the racial aspect that often goes into it w white women killers often targeting immigrant men#i hate the internet i hate radical feminists who blindly support every horrible thing every woman has ever done. i dont get it#little anya things#i just unfollow every single blog that posts anything that sounds like that lmao. good bye
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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"mary & george" could've easily been two if not three season of high political drama, but all we got was a weird conjumbled mess of events with fantastical plot points to tie it together and crammed in one season. im quite disappointed. everyone should just read the book, the actual events that transpired were so much more entertaining than what the tv show showed on screen
#mary & george#there are so many incredible anecdotes missing that were so incredibly entertaining that were just never shown#and the politican landscape of europe ist like non existent#they dont even TOUCH upon henrietta and barely mention france until the last scene#germany? never heard of it#charles and george were bffs and their shenanigans in spain are non existent#they leave for madrid in the LAST EPISODE#and dont let me start with what they changed with the ending#sorry i guess i shouldnt have expected more than just some soft p/rn and that random woman mary kept bringing with her#who they kept selling in the show as a mastermind when really she had fuck all to do but marry of her kids#GOD and to think the set design and costumes and acting was so great#ruined by whoever decided to adapt this story like this#t
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bro fr tho i can not get over the fact you can just go to a cinema to see barbie, a huge summer blockbuster film, and see a trans woman just.... existing on screen.
and for multiple talking scenes, it never gets pointed out or focused on. shes just there, with all the other girls, automatocally accepted and allowed to be there.
#thats fucking astounding to me#i didnt realize she was trans until after and man like..... that shit got me crying thinkin about it#just for a trans person to exist in spaces automatically reserved for cis people#and its never mentioned! and shes not there as a joke or to be mocked—shes there because she is a woman like everyone else on screen#this shit got me torn up dude like bro a huge mainstream movie like that; that everyones gonna see#and a trans person is on screen with multiple talking scenes.....#god damn thats fucking beautiful#barbie#barbie movie#greta gerwig#transgender
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ch. 446
#konan#i think konan's silence during the whole exchange is very interesting to me#but also really frustrating like. look at her. she isn't indifferent while she listens to the story of the fall of her 2 only friends#we just know that she is quiet because kishi just didn't know how to handle her and just had her be nagato's cheerleader#but also we see that she wanted to just end things right there by killing naruto. she is really someone who doesn't speaks up more-#than she believes is enough. and she is certainly not the kind to just overshare her life and feelings. not even once we see her-#doing that. the only thing she mentions to naruto was that the tendo was yahiko's body and that nagato was the only one who kept her-#from leaving akatsuki. we never see the history from her own perspective only from nagato's and what we know of her are memories#ugh!!! i love konan but her writing frustrates me so much!! she is such an interesting woman who isn't swayed by emotions#and goes straight to the point and has the most unique jutsu but!!!!!!#alas!!! she is from a popular shonen series whose purpose is to hype up nagato!! she gets CRUMBS
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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the thing is. you can't let anger overtake your heart. it will turn you bitter and helpless, chewing your own tongue till it bleeds while nothing gets done. you have to let your love for the indigenous peoples of turtle island, of aotearoa, of australia, of palestine, to guide you to action, to ignite your heart in hope. justice is possible. many hands make the burden light
#these past few days have been a definite turning point for me#i was never particularly patriotic. i was critical of ''canada'' before#but now i have nothing but disgust and anger towards the nation calling itself ''canada''#i watched a woman cry for her stolen children. her rage and grief were so visceral as she sang to us (the colonizers! the settlers!)#and begged us to fight for her#and i watched the major news outlets' gross miscoverage of the event. focusing on one mention of hamas' hostages instead the numbers#of palestinians dead. the airstrikes on the hospitals. the descendants of holocaust survivors calling it a genocide#(the news called them ''''self identified''' jews. what a slap in the face to someone who lost their father in the holocaust!)#I have to try and turn that disgust and anger for ''canada'' into love and hope for the first peoples of turtle island#and all colonized people#i have to try and fight for them#a.txt
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about to leave a scathing review for a historical fiction book on goodreads (felt so strongly about it i made an account for the first time) then chickening out once i realised i'd put down my full name and i dont want to offend the author TOO much in case we end up working in the same field as historians
#missives#i admire her a lot too which sucks but holy shit. this book is bad its SO bad#maybe i'll post my review here just to get it out of my system#in essence its a book about a real historical figure but shes written in this way where literally all she ever does is serve men#and have babies continuously#and we're meant to believe she's fallen in love with her dropkick of a husband who does fuck all and is constantly abroad#and like. of course i can believe that's how some women were especially given their religious inclinations#but i could feel the feminism leaving my body the longer i read the book like it is that bad i felt like i was being brainwashed#it starts good like it goes into her childhood and relationship with her siblings#but then she just turns into her husband's mother essentially and its so revolting. and it doesnt even feel authentic? like#none of these people feel like real people. they dont fight they dont have nasty thoughts they are so fucking sanitised#i dont know what i expected.jpeg#and this woman is a historian!! she has a phd!!#yet she gets basic things wrong to an immersion-breaking degree#the whole thing is set during the civil wars but she NEVER talks about there being surgeons i have not seen a single mention of a surgeon#shes always referring to doctors and physicians but it's becoming apparent to me that when she says physician#shes just using it as an old timey word for doctor not because she properly understands the 17th century medical hierarchy#fucking hell. im so mad
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“oh it’s so hard to care about female characters because their writing is so misogynistic” ???? do you think that’s the character’s fault or??
#also a lot of men are poorly written but hm that never seems to stop people#ACTUALLY WAIT yeah if a woman is shitty then its just a core part of the story we cant help#but if a man is written poorly then people are like oughhh ill save him i know hes not bad hehe#not to mention wc on main but this happens so often over there its insane#cant help nightcloud or reedshine being poorly written and catty (heh) to other women. not lizardstripe either cause shes abusive and real#but bumblestripe manipulating his gf and making her uncomfortable and disrespecting her? oh the narrative was MEAN to him hed NEVER do that#the erins just corrupted his uwu so nice mind to make him bad for no reason#oh dont get me started on the people who say they cant like dovewing bc the authors zoomed in on her love life in meta#echoed voice
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well, now that i made sprite edits for Beau, Vincent, Mimi, and the posse trio, i've gotten all the major characters for SOBR. didn't forget a single one 👍
anyway, i do want to make one for Abe eventually, i just literally. have no idea what he looks like KRKFN
he has a beard... he's old... that's about all i got
#psy's no punctuation posts#SOBR tag#genuinely when i picture him yknow who i imagine? the fucking judge from ace attorney#and that is not a valid answer#my brain pictures that n its like -LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE-#not ok KRKF#but maybe something kinda like that#also i want to come up with a trio name for Beau Vincent and Mimi but idk what#bcs to me they feel like the actual trio now over Abe. rip bozo#woman who literally never appears in SOBR and is mentioned like 3 times got in over him KRJKFN#she's just my special girlie ok#i love her
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I’ve literally had multiple people ask me straight to my face if I was bisexual because they suspected I was and even tho I knew in all three of those situations that the person I was talking to was safe (either queer themself or an ally), it was really scary to be forced in that moment to come out without my consent, or feel forced to lie about it in order to protect myself, regardless of whether I needed to or not. I can’t imagine being a world famous celebrity and having fan pages dedicated to my alleged sexuality, analyzing every behavior I did and whether or not it was queer, calling all of my relationships PR relationships or beards because they are so convinced I am a homosexual. Either erasing my bisexuality to call me a lesbian or forcefully outing me. People who don’t even know me. It’s scary and honestly creepy enough having someone who knows you personally do it, but someone who’s never even met you? And doing it in front of the whole world? I would never feel safe enough to come out, not just because of the risk of homophobic attacks, but because the people who claim to support me are the ones that made me do it
#taylor swift#Gaylors are the worst and nothing will convince me otherwise#also can be applied to those who forced kit Connor to come out#and the people who harrass Shawn Mendes and call him gay#most of not all of the people doing this are queer themselves#how can you be queer and take that autonomy away from your peers?#and this is all implying that the rumors are true#not to mention the harassment of if it’s not and you’re calling a straight person gay simply because you feel like they are#like this is actually horrifying to watch#and i imagine most of these people are young#who grew up in a world that didn’t entirely accept them#but who had it so much easier than older generations did#or people like me who grew up in church towns with Republican parents#no matter how accepting the world gets you do NOT get to take that choice away from someone else#you don’t know what their life is like#you don’t know the horrors of having your secrets splashed on the news front page#tabloids are bad enough but to have tour own fans propel this?#i feel like she doesn’t see all this or if she does it doesn’t affect her cuz she’s not actually queer#cuz I know as a queer woman I would never be okay with this#ESPECIALLY if I was not out#god i hate them so much#and the way they turn around and call US homophobic?#Im not the one forcefully outing someone and fighting with people online swearing that someone they don’t know is gay#despite them saying themself that they are not part of the community#how about let’s trust her and let her figure shit out herself?#no speculation is okay and we really as a whole need to stop it#but this has so much added layers that this in particular needs to be addressed
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also today in queer history class discussion i pitched the question "how has your race impacted your experiences as a queer person" and so one of my classmates talked abt how she was usually the only black person in queer spaces (or if not, then the only dark skinned black person) and talked a lot abt the isolation of it all
which was cool to hear, but not quite what i was looking for, so at the end i was like, "follow-up question: how has your blackness influenced your queerness?"
and after class she told me no one had ever asked her that before and so she'd never had to consider it, but now she was excited to just throw that at every other queer person of color in her life because it's like, "huh. what kind of homoeroticisms DO i experience as a result of my culture? how CAN i express my queerness in a way that also feels at home with my culture, instead of just picking an expression that is one or the other?" and i think that's beautiful. i hope she figures out how she wants to be queer in her own uniquely black way
#the worm speaks#me bringing my valuable experiences with the blending of cultures as a mixed race person to the table 2day it seems lol#and she went on to tell me how there are a lot of examples of queer black *masculinity* but very few came to mind#of like queer black *femininity* n so ultimately i'm still left not knowing what homoeroticism looks like to like.#bc she is genderfluid n so she's not a woman but she is femme and she's mentioned this many times#but like you guys get my gist#i think i brought a lot of unexpected questions to the discussion today LOL like the reading was abt the erasure of queer asian americans#in the history of the united states and yep there sure were a lot of queer asians erased but like for some reason it didn't really strike me#as a subject to discuss or ask a lot of questions about. same with the mentions of orientalism LOL#i think i'm also a little bit averse to bringing up orientalism bc i feel like i risk being accused of it myself by nature of being mixed#as if being half white is all that matters in a discussion about race as if i've never felt the pressures n hardships of being asian myself#etc etc it's a little hard for me to feel like i'm allowed to speak abt the subject lol but it was like The One Subject#the prof deliberately drew attn to towards the end to discuss#mostly i focused my questions for the class on the subjects of culture and community building and the desire for connection#stuff i'm both deeply familiar with bc of blorbo studies and also kind of asian about lol
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