#i need to start a tag for lyrics that are so specific to one persons experience
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#bleachers#bleachers lyrics#91#take the sadness out of saturday night#ttsoosn#91 lyrics#family#bleachers lockscreen#handwriting#i need to start a tag for lyrics that are so specific to one persons experience#and yet their vibe is still weirdly relatable#specific#past#mother#white
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What’s up hoes, I’m back at it again lmao. Here’s a little lixie Drabble I wrote last year🫶🏽
Tbh this one kinda hurt. Not in a “why did I write this way” but in a “how dare I portray sunshine this way” and honestly I’m not proud of it. But I was going through a shit period of time and was really hurt and needed to make that hurt known. People always assume I’m some happy go lucky person who never gets mad or wronged and I needed my pain portrayed through some sunshine’s. Please don’t hate me for this
On the Other Side
Warnings: MINORS DNI. Pwop, cream pie, unprotected sex (oh god don’t do that y’all), fingering, piv, cheating (also don’t do THAT guys stay faithful please please please), i think I got everything? Lmk if I missed smt
Summary: Chan is absolutely smitten with his princess. Little does he know that his business trips leave opportunities for his heart to be crushed… by his best friend.
tags: @linoalwaysknows ty for being so enthusiastic about my post “What’s Rwally Going On” and, of course, credit where credit is due, thank you so so much to @lixiesfreckless who started off posting one shots on instagram (insta is @/lixiesfreckles_) and was a massive inspiration both for me as a writer and for this specific piece, which was inspired by “Deep”, which is on her insta hall go check it out!!!
Wc: 1792
Requests are open as always ^^
꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱
"Relax, baby. Just let go."
You clench your fists, desperately fighting the sounds struggling to escape. "Fe- Felix," you stutter out. "I- I'm...ah, Lixie!"
"Shhh. Calm down, angel. It's alright."
But it's not. And you both know it.
This can't be happening. Not again. It's becoming more and more frequent. You tried. You really did.
But..
"Felix," you try again. "I can't-"
"Just try, baby. Please? Just a minute longer."
He never asks for much, always making sure you're taken care of in every possible way first. And it isn't just the sex.
If you're up late, somehow he'll know, like intuition, and he'll be calling and texting relentlessly, telling you to go to sleep. When you're feeling sick, he arrives on your doorstep with drunken noodles and fried tofu, just happening by.
When you're lonely, well, he's only one call away.
And, of course, you're usually all alone these days...
"Fuck!" You exclaim, jarred out of your thoughts as he abruptly twists his fingers, hitting your sweet spot in a way that's almost cruel.
But it isn't. It never is.
You force your mind to wander, to recall song lyrics and recipes, anything to distract yourself from the feeling of Felix's fingers sliding out of you, then back in. Again and again.
"We shouldn't... we shouldn't be doing this," Felix pants, looking at you through ashy blond hair.
"But we are," you reply through gritted teeth as his digits stretch you out more than usual.
How did we get here? You think to yourself, your legs shaking so hard, you're positive that his fingers alone will leave you unable to walk. His tiny hands with his tiny fingers that work magic on you.
You bite your lip, trying to hold on to whatever shred of dignity you can salvage, knowing your neighbors are still home. Every last inch of you begs to release, to be as loud as you can, to become as undone and fucked up as you possibly can.
But no.
You can't let that happen.
Besides, you know from experience how long Felix can last. You tell yourself that there's no rush.
Yet the thrill of being caught makes everything so much more intense. So much more rushed. So much more fun.
Almost so much more worth it.
"Y/n," he hisses desperately, "shhh. You need to..."
You can't help it. Whatever noise you're apparently making, you have no control over. When you re together, this boy does things to you that you can't even begin to comprehend.
He doesn't deserve this, you tell yourself. And, I guess, neither do I. It shouldn't be like this.
You bite back a whimper as he pushes his fingers deeper. "Felix," you pant, "hurry up, I can't..."
Nevermind the familiar fear lurking over your shoulder.
You know that he doesn't want to rush any more than you do, a fact that he confirms by slowly pulling his fingers out and languidly cleaning them off, the look in his eyes as his gaze locks into yours driving you insane.
He raises his eyebrows, questioning. You press your lips together as tight as you can to keep from begging and keep your response to a firm nod.
He takes his time, kissing his way down your neck, all the way to the inside of your thigh, then back up again. Your body reacts on its own, your back arching as his lips travel up your stomach.
You're so consumed by the feeling that you don't even notice him line up and slide into you. Something that you've found goes smoother if you're distracted.
The second you realize that he's in, your mind races about, trying to grab onto something to keep your mind busy. Kittens. Math. Random Korean and Spanish vocabulary. Anything to keep from yelling as loud as you can as his hips continuously bump gently into yours.
It's a stolen moment. Yet another to add to the ever-growing list. Another thing that should, in theory, weigh on your conscience.
But it doesn't. How can it, when you're digging your fingers into Felix's platinum locks, feeling him groan against your lips. How can you think of the consequences when he's making that sound, bordering on a whimper, your name escaping his clenched teeth?
Exactly. You can't.
Your fingers leave his hair, trailing down his biceps, making him shiver. Your nails press into his skin as hard as you can, desperate for some purchase.
"Y/n. You need to relax, baby." Felix knows that you're going to that place in your mind where you start overthinking, panicking, and, as you've been prone to in the past, hyperventilate. "Hey." Не stops and cups your chin in his hand. "Breathe, okay? I won't-"
"No!" You blurt. "I'm- I'm fine, I just..."
"Y/n."
"Felix," you say firmly. "If you don't keep going, I swear to God, I will make you. I'll be fine, okay?"
He swallows and nods.
"Just.... Slower for now, yeah?"
He obliges, and you take comfort in the fact that, eventually, you aren't the only one making so much noise.
You shouldn't be.... The twisted mess of it all, the backwards guilt that claws your stomach, how messy this situation is.... It's all chased away by Felix whimpering your name, the way his voice pitches, contrasting starkly with his deep Australian tone. Ironic, but running circles in your mind around the whole thing is what helps you calm down and stay quiet. Well, mostly quiet, anyways....
"Oh, God," you moan quietly. Your voice pushes him further, and he increases his pace, his hips hitting yours harder. "Lixie.... Oh, fuck."
"You're doing great, angel. Just a little...." His voice is strained, and you chance a glance at his face.
Hair falling in his eyes, which are dark and seem slightly unfocused, but you know better. He's sweaty, panting slightly, his lips dark pink, flushed from feverishly pressing them to your skin.
Why does this time feel so much longer than every other time? There's a sense of foreboding in the air, and you don't like it.
You feel him shudder a little and force yourself to focus.
"Y/n, you need to relax, kitten." The pet name, the way his gravelly Australian accent drags over the word, makes you whine and clench painfully, causing him to gasp. "Y/n," he gets out, clearly fighting to hold on, "I- I won't last unless you relax."
"I'm... trying..."
It's no use, though. You're too uptight, and everything that usually calms you just turns you on even more until Felix can't take your reactions anymore. In no time at all, you've both ridden out three separate highs, and made way more of a mess than the short span of time warranted.
"Felix." You both know you should be wrapping up, but you can tell that he still isn't done quite yet.
"I... I need a little bit more time- uh! Oh god. Y/n - I can't..."
"What can I do?"
He squeezes his eyes shut, lips pressed together tightly.
Stimulation, you think, that's what will help. Just thinking about what's going on down there makes your stomach squirm pleasurably, sending you clenching tighter and tighter
Felix groans.
"That's it, Lix," you say in a sultry tone, knowing that the only physical thing you can do for him is happening automatically. Vocalization always gets him. "Come on baby," you say breathlessly, "give it all to me."
"I'm doing-"
"Shhh." You cut him off with a kiss. "Just let it all go," you coax, dragging a nail down his chest. "Don't hold back."
A shudder runs through his body, and you watch with satisfaction as he moans loudly, his head tipping back.
Almost there.
You lean forward and press your lips to his throat, feeling it vibrate as another strangled moan escapes him. "Come on, Lix. And here I was, thinking I'm the naughty one." What is wrong with me? You think. Getting turned on by calling myself naughty? Your walls somehow manage to clench even tighter in response.
"You are," he gasps. "Y/n- I'm gonna- nngh!"
He practically bends backwards, his body shaking hard before he falls heavily forward, clinging to you like you're his lifeline, and you know that he's done.
"Better?" You ask quietly.
"Perfect," he whispers, pulling you into his chest.
You let the warmth of his body comfort you, despite the pain gently pulsing in your body. His breath in your skin distracts you from the worry spiraling throughout your mind.
You drift off at some point, listening to his rhythmic breathing, savoring how impossibly right it all feels.
You wake up an hour later to your phone ringing.
You answer without bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hey, pretty girl."
You freeze.
"Did I wake you up?"
"Maybe," you say, trying to suppress your rising panic. You feel thankful that the voice on the other end of the phone is on the other side of the world.
"Oh. Sorry about that." His accent makes the "o" in sorry sound like it does in sore.
"Oh. Um... you're fine," you lie.
"Everything alrigh', baby?"
You fumble with the blankets, trying to escape from the overheated confines and wiggle out of Felix's embrace, careful not to wake him.
"Yeah. I'm just not feeling the greatest." True enough. You feel sick with anxiety and guilt. But not for the right reasons.
"Oh. I'm sorry, angel." You practically cringe, the word feeling foreign unless it's coming from Felix's mouth. "I'll let you get back to sleep then, love."
"Oh. Okay, then."
If he thinks there's something off in your voice, he doesn't say anything. In fact, he probably just attributes it to you apparently being tired. You check the caller ID, praying that this is some sort of fever dream. Of course not. Your screen says
💙🐺Channie🐺💙
You close your eyes as he says "I love you, y/n."
A sour taste pervades your mouth and crushes you with guilt, the betrayal weighing on you, but not the betrayal to him, as your finger hovers over the red "end call" button. You hesitate slightly before telling him "Love you, too."
Staring at your back screen, you think, But I don't.
Not really.
#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#bang chan#bang chan smut#felix smut#felix x reader#bang chan x reader
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Sie haben sich gegen uns verschworen, uns're alten Egos. (Reo Mikage x reader)
They have conspired against us, our old egos.
Tags: gn!reader x Reo Mikage, angst, breakup, neither Reo nor reader is meant to be "in the right" here, no dialogue only narration, not proofread I wrote this in one sitting
A/N: "alten Egos" sounds similar to "alter ego" it just doesn't translate that way into English. It's a lyric from Alligatoah's song Stay in Touch
You had the intention to go the same path in life. You really did. And you tried to walk that path.
You always knew Reo never genuinely wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. That's why the two of you started daydreaming of the life you were going to have as soon as you turned 18. There was never a specific plan, only ideas you would occasionally extend on and thoughts that had the chance to become reality in the not-so-far-anymore future.
You were the first one to find out about Reo's dream to win the soccer World Cup. You thought of it as another one of those dreams that you would just think and talk about to fantasize about your future together, but not as a serious thing that he wants to succeed with.
And then he met Nagi. But you still didn't think of it as anything serious. Sure, they were great at soccer. But could they become good enough? You kept doubting it but kept those doubts to yourself. You let your boyfriend continue dreaming.
Reo noticed that. He didn't need you expressing any of those doubts verbally, he already knew which thoughts would constantly run through your head as soon as he'd address anything related to soccer. And it hurt him. A lot. Knowing you, the person he loved the most in the world, didn't truly believe in the dream that he was so desperate to achieve.
After all, Reo always believed in each of your dreams, no matter how silly or unachievable they sounded. He never doubted anything you fantasized about. Reo always believed in you, even with the silliest things.
But you didn't believe in him.
And slowly, that turned Reo's love for you into something he's never felt for you before: Spite.
And then the perfect chance to express that spite came. And while he had enough other reasons to join the Blue Lock program, proofing himself to you was one of the biggest reasons.
Reo left without telling you. He didn't expect to have his phone taken away.
But even when he got it back, he didn't want to talk to you. He dreaded the moment he would see your notifications pop up.
So he blocked you.
First, you spent days wondering why none of your messages went through. Then you questioned why Reo didn't come to school again - shortly after, you noticed Nagi was gone as well.
Then you went to Reo's place, only to be met by his parents who finally answered at least one of your questions.
But then you realized your messages finally went through, so you were happy he got access to his phone again. You were happy, for exactly 3 seconds until you realized Reo blocked you now.
Never blocking the other was a strict rule you and Reo made in the beginning of the relationship. So for you, this meant he broke up with you.
For Reo, it didn't. However, he had been considering ending the relationship back when the feelings of spite started. But even when he carried feelings like that for you, he also still had love for you deep in his heart.
That was... How long ago? You don't even remember. You spent so many nights crying with a broken heart and wondering why Reo broke up without an explanation. You used to check your phone almost hourly, hoping there would be a message from Reo or that he would at least unblock you.
But no, nothing. Only silence.
You knew doubting his dream wasn't right - but at least you never said that directly and never discouraged him either. You still figured out Reo noticed your true thoughts on his dream of winning the World Cup.
Maybe that's something you and Reo should have talked about. It's definitely something you should have talked about. If you had been honest about your thoughts and if Reo had told you how he feels about your lack of genuine support, maybe that could have saved everything.
Or maybe not. Maybe that would have led to an even earlier breakup.
No matter how often you replayed all sorts of ways that could have saved the relationship, you always spiralled into the various results those alternatives could have ended in an earlier breakup.
Maybe you and Reo were never meant to be. Maybe he's meant to be with Nagi.
You decided to give up and move on. Any thought of Reo would be pushed away immediately and be replaced by "He's meant to be with Nagi."
In the meantime, Reo was going through his own things in Blue Lock. Getting closer with Nagi, winning the first selection and moving on to the second one. Separating from Nagi, even though he didn't want to.
It just felt too familiar to him. This feeling of being separated from someone so important to him. The pressure and emptiness he felt at the same time when he blocked you.
The even worse pain he felt when he tried to contact you again, only to find out by now you've blocked him as well.
The pain that turned into frustration that he projected on Nagi. Because Nagi reminded him of what he felt about you already. Because Nagi made him go through that pain again.
...Even though it was Reo's own fault. At least when it came to you.
Reo didn't deal well with his feelings in many ways. There's a lot that should have been talked out properly. A lot he could have prevented.
And suddenly, all he felt about you was regret. Regret about not telling you where he was going, about blocking you and about not talking to you in time.
But hey, now there's this two-week break from Blue Lock. He can go home. He can meet up with you and fix everything.
No, he can't. Because you already set your mind on the fact that you were never the right person for him anyway.
#💟 maochira writes#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x you#reo mikage#mikage reo#reo x reader#reo x you#reo mikage x reader#reo mikage x you
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How to use tone tags! :D
Because @flaming-green asked and also neurodivergence !!
Long post woah
Commonly used tone tags:
/j = joke
/hj = half joke
/ly or /lyr = lyrics
/pos = positive
/neg = negative
/lh = light hearted
/nm = not mad
/s or /sarc = sarcastic
/nbh = no body here (this is used alongside a rant/vent that has not named a specific person- people may think you are talking about them and spiral)
/genq = genuine question
/nf = not forced
/plat = platonic
/r = romantic
/srs = serious
/t = teasing
Why use tone tags?:
Tone can be a very difficult thing to pick up, especially through text. Use of punctuation and capital letters and certain word choices can make a sentence seem completely different. For example, if I received a text saying "Come see me right now." I would instantly think I was in trouble and would panic. However, if I received that same message with a "/nm" I would feel much better about the situation. People use punctuation in different ways as well! I personally use exclamation marks to show how excited I am !! While for others, a multitude of exclamation marks could indicate sarcasm. Same with the use of emojis. I personally use some emojis to indicate sarcasm, but I know people who use those same emojis to indicate... Well, what the emoji is showing. So, to use a tone tag avoids any sort of miscommunication.
When to use tone tags?:
Deciding when to use tone tags can be difficult. I personally use tone tags when I reread a message and realise it is ambiguous in tone, or when I reread it, it sounds more aggressive or rude than I intended it to be.
If somebody asks you what you mean by a message, this is probably a sign that you need a tone tag of sorts. Not all people are going to interpret things the way you intend them to be, so tone tags as a whole are helpful to avoid miscommunication. Sometimes the context of the message being sent can change someone's perception so tone tags are not always needed e.g. "omg I love you so much! You're so awesome!" This may be seen as genuine, while "omg you're so awesome." Can be seen as sarcastic. It depends on how that person's brain works.
If you are talking directly with one person, or a small group of people, and you know their typing habits (such as using emojis for sarcasm or use of punctuation) then tone tags may be needed less! But if you are talking to a group of people, such as on Tumblr, it may be easier to use tone tags as more people will see what you've said and... Well people may not understand what you meant!
Some words may have different connotations through different contexts, such as the word "silly". But sometimes people may not understand that context. I typically use Silly in a positive way, but at one point I referred to a character I didn't like as a "silly man" with my friend who had no clue who this character was. To them, this meant I liked this character, which left them confused when I started talking about them in a bad way. So, I started adding "/neg" anytime I meant silly in a negative way to avoid confusion.
Other tone tag things:
Try and avoid piling of tone tags at the end of a message/post as this can be confusing. Id say try to use no more than 2, 3 at a maximum.
If you're cutting into the middle of a message with a tone tag, you can use brackets, but you don't have to! Do what makes you comfortable.
Use punctuation where you see fit.
You don't have to use tone tags for every message you send/everything you post! Use them when YOU think the tone could be ambiguous or if someone has directly asked you what you mean.
You don't have to know every tone tag ever. I've been using tone tags for a good 2 maybe 3 years now and I mainly use /nm, /j, /srs, /sarc and /pos.
I also use /silly, which I'm not sure is an actual tone tag. I use this if something I say seems passive aggressive or if I am in fact just being silly.
I hope this has helped! Tone tags are something that help me communicate with people and make me more comfortable! And I hope they can make it easier for you to communicate as well :]
Also sorry if this makes little sense it is 2am. Feel free to add any more information in reblogs or replies!!
#tone tags#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#tone indicators#percy rambles#long post#there was another paragraph#and then i accidentally deleted it because silly mobile app#and i forgot what it said#(I'm going to try and sleep now goodnight)
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Happy Aphrodite April, My Sweet Starlings!! 💕
As customary with ever Aphrodite April I have for you ✨30 Days of Aphrodite!✨
I designed this challenge with beginners in mind. Those who are just starting out on their journey with Aphrodite and who may need or want a bit of guidance learning about and connecting with our beloved Goddess. However, anyone is welcome to participate if they feel called to!
For more experienced worshipers, I did create a separate challenge if you are interested. You can find it here.
Please know that this challenge is meant to be fun and to provide a way for us to not only connect with Aphrodite but also to each other. Don't feel like you have to do the entire thing or answer the questions a specific way. Aphrodite April is all about self-kindness and being where you are now without shame. So try to bring that mindset into this challenge.
If you decide to participate please use the tag #30 Days of Aphrodite so we can see each others posts! I always look forward to seeing what everyone answers.
Now with all that said, I present to you
✨30 Days of Aphrodite✨
(The Beginners/General Edition)
1. What first interest you about Aphrodite?
2. Why do you want to worship/work with Aphrodite?
3. Share which of Aphrodite’s myths is your favorite and why?
4. Share a song you associate with Aphrodite.
5. What aspect of Aphrodite do you want to learn more about?
6. Which of Aphrodite’s epithets are your favorite and why?
7. What offerings do you enjoy giving Aphrodite?
8. Do you do any devotional acts for Aphrodite? If so, share them, If not, what devotional acts would you like to do for Aphrodite?
9. Describe how you personally see Aphrodite (as in her physical characteristics)
10. What animal(s) do you associate with Aphrodite?
11. Share some resources that have helped you learn more about Aphrodite.
12. What movie/tv show do you associate with Aphrodite?
13. Share your favorite piece of art that depicts Aphrodite or reminds you of Aphrodite.
14. Where do you most find or feel Aphrodite?
15. Which misconception about Aphrodite bothers you the most?
16. What fictional character reminds you of Aphrodite?
17. Which real life person (celebrity, historical figure, or someone you know) has Aphrodite energy?
18. What’s something you wish more people knew about Aphrodite?
19. Share a poem/lyrics/quote that reminds you of Aphrodite?
20. In honor of the New Moon, share something new you’d like to bring into your relationship with Aphrodite.
21. Share a UPG you have about Aphrodite.
22. Which member of Aphrodite’s retinue do you connect to or want to learn more about?
23. Which of Aphrodite’s lovers is your favorite and why?
24. Do you have a favorite way to communicate with Aphrodite?? If not, which methods of communication are you interested in trying?
25. What was something you learned about Aphrodite that shocked you?
26. What do you appreciate about Aphrodite?
27. Share an experience you’ve had with Aphrodite.
28. What is one question you’d like to ask Aphrodite?
29. How has your opinion of Aphrodite changed since you began worshiping her?
30. How do you want your relationship with Aphrodite to look like in the future?
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this is not to single anyone out, but i have a lot of new followers, and i would just love for you all to know... the search function on my blog is operational. if you search for epic the musical, you will find that i have dabbled in it. it is slightly annoying to be asked over and over whether i've heard of it, even by lovely, enthusiastic, friendly people.
i have another reason for not answering those questions, which is that when someone is being enthusiastic and friendly to me, i don't want to be mean to them. but if i'm going to speak from my heart as an odyssey lover, i don't think epic the musical is that good. it doesn't especially interest me as a standalone piece, but i also don't find it provides much insight on, or compelling points of comparison with, homer's odyssey. i'm glad you're all having a good time! please stop asking me about it.
bullet point review below the cut, for those who are more curious about my opinions.
things i like about epic:
astyanax's murder doesn't get brought up a lot in stories that are sympathetic to odysseus. it's optional when adapting the odyssey or the iliad, but i am definitely of the opinion that odysseus did it, and even if he didn't, he convinced the other greek leaders that it needed to be done.
the athena/odysseus duets.
i found the reframing of polyphemus' blinding compelling, where he's doing the same thing he does in the odyssey for a different reason. i also liked that the audience doesn't learn his name until he reveals it to polyphemus. that's a neat touch.
earwormy as hell.
the fanart! i saw odysseus fanart maybe 3 times a year before the troy saga dropped. i'll take that trade (for my sanity when i try to navigate the tags).
jorge seems to be invested in odysseus/penelope, which is like the bare minimum to hold my attention, but still.
anyhow jorge seems charming; all his videos and interactions with fans seem nothing but excited about what everyone can contribute. commissioning wolfy to animate a trailer? widely regarded as a great move.
things i don't like about epic:
as gutsy as i think it is to start with astyanax's murder, the main thing to me is not whether his hands physically threw the baby, but whether he is in some way responsible for it. more than that, astyanax's death isn't divinely mandated: it's a ruthlessly pragmatic preemptive strike against vengeance that the greek leaders are afraid of. it's 100% human. so framing it around zeus, known troy stan, forcing odysseus to do it and he feels so so bad about it ????????
baffling to me to start with a moral conflict about infanticide, and after committing it, odysseus is still like... maybe kindness is brave? maybe i'm not a ruthless person? please be serious. you murdered that baby.
(been talking to @littlesparklight about this but you could have started out with some version of sophocles' ajax, a death caused by the gods that odysseus actually is complicit in when he didn't necessarily want it to happen. i digress.)
don't like the way the fandom talks about astyanax, specifically, as if odysseus raising a kidnapped trojan boy whose people were destroyed and whose mother was sold into slavery in another land is ever going to be a fluffy au and meanwhile odysseus did very much murder that baby, so!
the songs are not... good. like i said, they're earwormy, but that's also because they're repetitive and predictable. the lyrics are distractingly bad at times, not only from a character perspective, but in the sense of using words wrongly or awkwardly to try to fit them into a rhyme scheme.
i like the reframing of the polyphemus episode. not so much the aeolus one. at that point, you have odysseus doing the opposite of what he did in the odyssey for opposite reasons, which makes him a character bearing no resemblance to odysseus at all.
and this happens while other characters (mostly gods) try to drag him kicking and screaming into his actual homeric characterization.
like, odysseus is haunted by the war in the odyssey, but not because he regrets what he's done as a moral injury. he chose violence on purpose. the gods did not force him to be this person. it's a narrative throughline that serves only as a bid to make odysseus more sympathetic.
... and in doing so, strips away his agency — in sacking a city, in lying and obscuring the truth with his crew (his lies are more than a quirk that endears him to athena, they have consequences!) — some might say his personality. i do have sympathy for odysseus, even at his worst moments morally, because i find his character as a whole compelling. you don't need to try to absolve him of these things! they tell you about what kind of person he is! they are evocative (and provocative) already! take them away and he is boring, because he is not choosing to do anything.
the new wave of odysseus fans seem unable to handle homeric odysseus' complicated aspects and character traits, and to a degree i blame this on the musical characterization. it's allowed to be its own thing, certainly, but now i regularly get people arguing about whether he's a good person when all they know is something epic made up and that was never the fucking point, anyway.
are we really going to pretend he didn't have sex with circe and calypso at all
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music monday
thank u both @sznofthesticks and @lemonlyman-dotcom for the tags <33 this is a new concept to me and it’s a really cool one!! so today i’ll mostly focus on the tk, carlos, and something a little extra at the end!
the rules: songs you relate to LS characters!!!
tk:
gotta let go of weight, can’t keep what’s holdin’ me
choose to watch, while the world break up and fall on me
all the while, i’ll await my armored fate with a smile
still wanna try, still believe in (good days)
good days, always, always inside
good day living in my mind
this song is about introspection and personal growth. the lyrics discuss emotions and memories while acknowledging the pain and mistakes of the past. the song explains that yes, you can make mistakes and go through issues, but you can also look forward to the next day and what's next. you can choose to be positive and hold your head up high, even through the struggles. i feel like this fits tk— he chooses to live in every moment, while acknowledging that he's made mistakes and has gone through some problems (addiction/past relationships) in the past.
carlos (and gabriel!):
i wanna say it's alright
you're just a man after all
and I know you had demons
i got some of my own
i think you passed them along
i wanna tell you about the time
wanna tell you about my life
wanna play you all my songs
and hear your voice sing along
this song is about a complex father/son relationship that is only intensified by grief. the first half of ths song expresses resentment and disappointment towards the lack of a relationship w/ the dad (ie. unable to confront him over unspoken actions that have caused a rift. sound familiar?) the second half is more forgiving, more gentler. it talks about the influence and positivity surrounding that father/son relationship, a desire to share life experiences and seek a sense of closure due to grief. i think that the carlos and gabriel relationship is very complex and fascinating, especially now that gabriel has died and carlos has all of this grief inside of him: what does he do with all of it? (the day i write my gabriel/carlos exploration fic is the day that i'll celebrate.)
tk x carlos:
where would you like to spend eternity?
if i bring you to my world, you'll never wanna leave
if you take away my air, how am i supposed to breathe?
tell me, why would we be here if this ain't meant to be?
you know where to find me (you know where to find me)
go on and call my number, i'll pick up
this song explores the nuances of a romantic relationship. the softness, the passion and challenges that comes with being in love/allowing yourself to be loved by somebody. this song reflects on the intimacy and intensity of the concept of loving— and it has that overall “floating” feeling people get when they allow themselves to fall in love. to me, tk and carlos are always redefining what love is— when they first get together, when they get back together post-breakup, when they’re engaged and finally, when they get married. i think that there’s this constant “passion” when it comes to them and that’s only intensified by the time they’re married. plus. it’s kali uchis. i don’t need to say anything else.
and finally… you know i had to do it…
grace/nancy/tommy/paul (basically all of the poc characters in ls, but them specifically):
nothin' really ends
for things to stay the same, they have to change again
hello, my old friend
you change your name, but not the ways you play pretend
american requiem
them big ideas (yeah), are buried here
amen
this song is very dear to me, let me start out by saying that. this song is about carving out a space, it’s about saying— look, i am here too, and i belong here, just like you do. this is all my opinion. as a woc, and maybe i’m just talking here— i feel like paul/grace/nancy/tommy (yes, carlos/marjan/mateo too— but i want to talk abt them specifically for a moment.) they have all had moments to where they haven’t felt welcome— is it because of how they look? of how they talk? or is it because of something totally different? they’re all talented first responders too, right? i feel like that the feeling of “you are not welcomed” kind of follows them around no matter where they go, no matter how progressive your coworkers are— there’s always that feeling of doubt inside that can’t go away. especially (if you’re paul and nancy, being a poc and part of the lgbtq+ community is def something that makes people pay attention, negatively or positively). however, this song turns all of that on its head and celebrates that, celebrates who you are no matter what you look like. look at me, i’m a damn good person, and i belong here, and i will continue to have my voice heard.
again, the songs and the analysis that comes with it are all based off of my opinion. so do not come for me lmao.
(tagging, no pressure: @heartstringsduet, @nancygillianmvp, @carlos-tk, @reyesstrand and idk who else has been tagged lmao)
#911ls music mondays#911ls#tag game#never done this. spent quite some time on it lmao so pls be nice!
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Moots as Taylor Swift songs!!!
finally answering months old asks this is so embarassing dsfjla anyways party i love taylor swift! :D tbh i can't keep up with which of my moots are active or not (me as hell) so i just picked at random
@toruro - mine; YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER BEEN MINE like was there any other choice? me and mika are literally married also it gives very like dance around in your room/screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs w/ your friends vibes and mika also gives off those vibes in the best way
@gyuswhore - delicate; this song is very mingyu coded in my mind tbh but also it's such a fun and feel good song and it's always such a joy to interact with em like it just makes me smile
@ressonancee - you belong with me; i just get thea vibes from this song i don't know why like it's such a pump up song and its so cute and thea is just so lovely and a great supporter and i have such a love for this song and for thea like i appreicate her so much and i love interacting with her
@wqnwoos - you are in love; i think hana's fics give off this specific vibe like the soft and caring and loving feel and it kind of calms you and warms your heart like it's all just so sweet and adorable and i love it
@miraclewoozi - paper rings; IT'S SUCH A FUN SONG i think j is such a fun person i love seeing all of her silly little "shut up j" tagged posts and its an iconic song and i think j is iconic like she's so talented wtf like in both writing and gif making literal icon
@bluehoodiewoozi - sweet nothing; so fun fact ive been a BIG fan of avy since i started this blog and when i saw she followed me back i screamed ANYWAY i think sweet nothing totally is how i view avy's fics like a giant hug that is just so comforting and sweet and loving like i need a love like the song and the love in avy's fics
@leejihoonownsmyheart - seven; okay this song is one of my favorites from taylor and like the themes about being childhood friends and growing apart but still loving each other fits me and brie's relationships a lot because she was my first tumblr friend and even though we don't talk a lot i have the most love for her in my heart <<<333 hi brie imu
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Book Recommendation Tag Game 📚
The last book I read:
The Greatest Hits of Harlan Ellison (edition with the foreward by Neil Gaiman and Cassandra Khaw). With the random online resurgence of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream (and some of the worst takes I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing) I had to re-read some Ellison to assure myself we’d read the same material… but yeah. Highly recommend. 👍👍
A book I recommend
Pretty much everything in this post, but specifically this year I’ve gotten like four of my friends to read The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. It’s an easy read sci fi with so much heart, easily one of my new favorites.
A book I couldn’t put down
Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid. I read it last year in one sitting and still think about it like once a week. The love interest really resonated with me and this book genuinely made me feel sick to my stomach from how well some of the content was portrayed.
A book I’ve read twice (or more)
I am not typically a re-reader but I have an extensive collection of John Keats and Percy Shelley, a lot of their works I have read and re-read and own several versions of.
A book on my TBR
Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirrlees! I actually added this to my TBR because of a video Tim Downie made a while back and I just haven’t gotten to it yet because I’ve limited my new books until we make our cross-country move.
A book/series I’ve put down
Too many to count, I’m a notorious DNF-er. Finishing a book/series I’m fairly sure I’ll dislike usually just feels like a waste of time to me when there’s so many books I want to read. Here’s just a short list of recent ones, no offense if this is anyone’s favorite: The Dresden Files (hate Jim Butcher’s self insert and don’t like the mash of lazy lore he uses), Everything SJM (read her when I was in HS but she continually ruins the only characters I like and the author is just in general not a good person), Iron Flame (I hated fourth wing, rated it 2 stars, don’t know why I even tried other than it just being absolutely everywhere)
A book on my wishlist
The Djinn Waits A Hundred Years by Shubnum Khan and Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia have both been on my list for a while and as soon as we move they’ll be some of the first I grab physical copies of
A favorite book from childhood
HOLES BY LOUIS SACHAR 📢📢📢 my childhood copy was so well loved that it was missing its front and back cover I love this book so much. Also a shoutout to two of my other childhood favorites: Howl’s Moving Castle and Maximum Ride.
A book you would give to a friend
Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb. I love the liveship trilogy so much that I always keep two copies of Ship of Magic. One is my personal copy of the first edition cover that matches the rest of my trilogy, the other has the newer cover and I lend that one out to friends.
A book of poetry or lyrics you own
I have several collections of John Keats and Percy Shelley. A personal favorite is my copy that has my annotated “A Defence of Poetry”
A non-fiction book you own
My Philosophy of Religion anthology that has my Kierkegaard annotations
What are you currently reading
One for my Enemy by Olivie Blake, I needed a palate cleanser after Ellison
What do you plan to read next
Bridgerton has me in the mood for romance and I have A Fragile Enchantment by Allison Saft and Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater unpacked from my physical TBR right now for summer reads. If my romance mood ends before then I’ll finally start Chlorine by Jade Song
tagged by @rosenfey thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about books! 🩵📚✨
tag list (add/remove post in pinned): @nokstella @rindemption @katsigian @lestatlioncunt @mapeslyrup
@feykiller @werewolfspatula @archonfurina @haarleps @razz-berry
@elvves @estevnys @dragonologist-phd @superhaught
@avallachs @leopardmuffinxo @devilbrakers @pitchmoss @dekarios
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wip music monday + last line tag
tagged by @simplegenius042, @jillvalentinesday, and @inafieldofdaisies for some wip music/last lines
most recent line(s) from the werewolf au (the plot is starting to plotten <3)
Deputy Pratt stands near the front door, speaking quietly with the coroner and turning an almost comical shade of green. His hand is pressed to the lower half of his face, covering his mouth and pinching his nose shut as he pointedly ignores the gruesome scene before him.
and most recent lines/paragraphs from katc ch.5 (syb is uh...not doing great)
Microwave dinners and takeout eaten alone. Nights spent drinking herself into unconsciousness because it’s easier to do that than to suffer with the Hell that is her own mind. Days upon days spent on the road, measuring her life in the miles ticking up on her odometer and hooking up with random people in bars just to remember what the touch of another person feels like.
No laughter or singing coming from the kitchen. No television or radio playing softly in the background as someone goes about cleaning or doing laundry.
No life. No family. No love. No hope.
No future.
Just a lonely, unfulfilling, miserable life, hurtling towards death as quickly as she can because there’s nothing worth living for.
A life she can’t return to. She refuses.
She needs to find [Augustine].
song + lyrics under the cut
no specific songs are directly inspiring any of my wips, so take one that's been hitting me in the syb pov jakesyb feels
Like a virgin, a Madonna (Madonna), on my knees praying for a hunter
You got a wild heart in your cage
Little death, but I want another and another and another
I want it bad, and I got no shame (I got no shame)
Just put your hands around my throat, ain't been to Heaven but I'm close
Your love is a murder, your love is a murder
I'll let you touch me sweet and slow, just take my body and my soul
Your love is a murder, your love is a murder
In your bed just the way that God made me, cover me up, baby
Just lay me in the dirt 'til I'm pushing up daisies, oh-oh
You got a dark side, and it don't phase me, cover me up, baby
Just lay me in the dirt 'til I'm pushing up daisies, oh (ooh)
tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton, @strangefable, @adelaidedrubman, @cassietrn, @poetikat, @strafethesesinners, @confidentandgood, @miyabilicious, @trench-rot, @g0dspeeed, @josephslittledeputy, @aceghosts, @madparadoxum, @voidika, and anyone else wanting to share some wips/music
(and if you want to be included in (or removed from) writing tags, like/reply to this post please!)
#pratt nearly vomits at a crime scene in the werewolf au (dont worry syb and eli are fine...for now)#and please...enjoy(?) a VERY heavily dean winchester coded syb moment for katc#ch 5 of katc needs some major tlc but i figure actually finishing a draft first will be easier than starting over#or...rather more /helpful/ than starting over anyways
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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter V.
PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character
SUMMARY: Down on the west coast, we got a saying...
WORD COUNT: 6.1k
RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.
CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: A sexy performance by our main character, he's absolutely whipped, THEY HUG FOR THE FIRST TIME !!, is it really a slow burn if they don't yearn for one another, an insufferable dad, speaking of dad back on my dbf!Javi bs, other things that I'm probably forgetting.
DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.
A/N: hi friends! hope you all enjoy this chapter, i was completely smitten while writing this since i'm such a needy little thing when it comes to a good slow burn ship lmfao also i love how we've all collectively decided that javi is lana del rey coded like SO true bestie !! like i love me some flirty!Javi okay sue me !! let him flirt with all the women !! anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3
♰ read on ao3. ♰
♰ playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰
Tonight, Paloma is consumed by a fiery fervor, ignited by the series of eventful days she's encountered. Each moment pulses with vibrant energy as she eagerly anticipates taking the stage, a surge of excitement coursing through her veins. With every fiber of her being electrified, she yearns to pour forth the myriad emotions that have enveloped her, releasing them into the world through music.
Between Javier’s ‘will they won’t they’ repartee and August’s piquant personality; these men have been bending her will to remain strong. It’s a peculiar thing, reminiscent to the stories she reads or movies she watches.
Paloma hasn’t stopped to think about it in a logical sense, where these newfound ‘relationships’ can go, and frankly she doesn’t want to stop and think. She just wants to be … allow herself to indulge in the pleasantries of the attention.
She’s at the bar hours before she’s set to do her gig, cheerfully enjoying the company of her best friend as she drinks her signature root beer and muddled cherry mocktail. She eyes the new karaoke machine that’s just recently been acquired and leans in to get Sloane’s attention.
“ Has anyone used it? ” She gestures to the machine and Slo shakes her head, wiping down the counter.
“ No, but I think you’d be the perfect person to break it in. Pretty sure I saw some Madonna songs on there… ” Sloane tells her in a sing-song tone, causing Paloma’s eyes to light up and she hops off the bar stool to walk up to the machine that consisted of a large television set and the actual karaoke machine.
She plays around with it for a second, familiarizing herself with the controls before she’s skimming through the dozens of available songs.
The evening crowd has started to file in, she doesn’t even realize since she’s been too busy figuring the machine out. She lets out a delighted sound of glee once she sees that Like a Prayer is one of the available songs and wastes no time in selecting it.
The song begins and she takes her position on the stage, few eyes on her. She doesn’t even need the large teleprompter for the lyrics. Bringing the microphone up to her lips, she begins to sing the intro softly…
♫
Once the music picks up, Paloma sways her hips when she needs to, keeping up with the song as it’s one of her all time favorites. She’s done a variant of this performance in her bedroom with her hair brush many of times.
As the final notes of the song fade away, Paloma finds herself nearly breathless, her heart still racing from the intensity of her performance. The thunderous applause washes over her like a wave, enveloping her in a blanket of appreciation. With a wide smile adorning her face, she gracefully bows and waves to the audience before delicately placing the microphone back on its stand. As the jukebox resumes its melody, filling the void left by her absence, Paloma makes her way back to her spot at the bar counter, basking in the warmth of the moment.
“ You know how to put on a show! ” The compliment comes from a redhead sitting in the stool closest to her.
“ Thank you. ” Paloma’s mouth curves into a smile as she eyes her. A bride sash draped horizontally over her torso with the small veil clipped in her hair and she’s dressed in all white. There’s three other woman behind her whom she assumes is the bridal party. “ And congratulations. ” She raises her glass that had been replenished courtesy of her best friend.
They cheers then engage in some small talk when the bride, Wendy, confirms to Paloma that they are out for her bachelorette celebration. They had some car troubles in the middle of their travels to Austin which led to a rest stop here in Seminary until morning.
It wasn’t how she had planned to celebrate the trip, but there was nothing she could do about it so she’s making the best of the situation.
This has an idea pop into Paloma’s head, empathetic as ever, and she says her goodbyes once the band arrives. The plan is simple enough; perform some of her more sultry songs for the stranded bridal party in hopes to make their night a little more entertaining. It doesn’t take much before she’s got her band on board, tapping on the microphone to get everyone’s attention when she returns to the stage.
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Javier did not plan on being at The Whiskey Fox tonight, especially with the lack of sleep he’s endured recently. Not that he hasn’t dealt with it before, but it’s been on an unforgiving incline as of late.
The worst part about his insomnia is how inconsistent it can be. He could go weeks with little to no sleep then suddenly a period where it’s all he does. Hasn’t hit the latter of the cycle just yet, but he can feel it creeping up on him at an agonizing pace.
It’s a complete shit show and infuriatingly lonely. He wouldn’t admit to it, however.
Exhausting himself throughout the day with hopes that he’ll be bone-tired by the end of the night, he makes an impromptu stop at the bar where hopefully a few glasses of bourbon will have him easing into sleep the second he makes it home.
It’s a long shot, nothing irregular of what he does on a regular night, but fuck he really needs to get some rest. He can only function off coffee and nicotine for so long.
The bar is in high spirits the second he steps foot in, and with that comes the reminder that it’s a weekend night which means…
Eyes drift over to the stage and sure enough, she’s front and center, and he fights the urge to gravitate towards her.
Instead, Javier opts to sit at the bar, easily getting Sloane’s attention and ordering his bourbon.
“ Y’know… I think this is the first time you’ve in been here while I’ve been on shift. You hidin’ from me, handsome? ” She begins with a teasing simper, expertly pouring the drink.
Javier chuckles briefly, giving her a once-over, “ Had I known a pretty little thing like you was tendin’ the bar I woulda been in here much more consistently. ” Flirtatious as ever, despite his exhaustion, brown eyes meeting her gaze as she diligently sets the glass in front of him with a vivacious grin.
“ Oooh, you’re a sweet talker. I like that. Not many darin’ boys ‘round here. ” She leans forward, making a point to press her breasts together to show off her cleavage which he shamelessly ogles.
“ S’a good thing I’m not a boy , sweetheart. ” Bringing the glass up for a sip, their stare isn’t broken and she cocks her head to the side in interest.
“ A great thing, even. You’re all man. ” Her southern accent drips with sensuality, the suggestion hanging heavy in the air between them. For a fleeting moment, Javier entertains the idea of inviting her back to his place to relieve some tension and get some rest, but before he can act, she's whisked away by another patron, leaving him to ponder the tantalizing chemistry that sizzled between them.
Divine intervention, Javi thinks, since his interest for her drops the second he hears Paloma’s voice. Placing some cash on the counter, he moves over to the table he’s accustomed to sitting at, distancing himself from the distraction with great tits behind the bar.
♫
His attention now fully on the woman on stage, her honeyed voice and the movements of her hands as they trail along the length of her body, diligently tracing her curves.
Her attire is understated yet alluring. Clad in a sleek black dress with a sweetheart neckline, its hem teasingly grazing the curve of her thigh, she exudes an effortless elegance. The mid-thigh high boots she wears elevate her stature, causing her back to arch ever so subtly, drawing his gaze to the enticing curve of her ass. With each graceful movement, she exudes a magnetic allure, her hips swaying with a tantalizing rhythm that ignites Javier's imagination, conjuring images of her poised above him in a passionate embrace with his cock drilling deep inside of her.
The glass in his hand feels suddenly heavy as his thoughts drift to her, so he takes a long sip, relishing the fiery sweetness that ignites his senses. Mesmerized by her performance, he finds himself completely entranced, lost in the melody of her voice and the grace of her movements. As Paloma begins her descent from the stage, weaving her way through the tables scattered around the room, a sense of anticipation stirs within him. With bated breath, he shifts in his seat, eagerly awaiting her arrival, his heart pounding in anticipation of her presence.
She continues her performance, tastefully interacting the patrons nearby, pocketing bills that are being handed to her. She handles it suavely, tucking the wads of cash in the band of her boot that’s pressed up against her thigh.
Javier’s eyes fall to the area as she does this, running his tongue over his teeth and truly contemplating if staying away was worth it all. He digs into his back pocket, fishing out the leather wallet and swiftly pulling out whatever was in it to give her.
It’s then that she approaches him, the spotlight making Paloma look more radiant than any star he’s ever seen. Their eyes meet in a enchanted gaze, his lip tugs up into a cocky and expectant smirk in which she matches before slowly rounding behind him, almost singing in his ear.
“ Te deseo, cariño, boy, it's you I desire. ”
Javier’s jaw ticks as her touch runs along the expanse of his broad shoulders, and before she’s able to leave him completely, he slips the bills into her palm before letting it drop from his grasp.
That line was a seductive invitation, crafted for him alone, and he can feel it in the way her lips curve into a knowing smirk. Was it penned with him in mind, sung in Spanish to tantalize him? The notion ignites a fierce longing within Javier, his skin tingling with anticipation. Her lyrics, saturated with desire, mirror the very same craving she stirs within him. The hunger in her eyes speaks volumes, a silent plea for the passion they both yearn to share.
She finishes the song, the table of a bridal party praising her drunkenly as the music dies down and everyone begins their applause. Some whistling at her, too.
Javier remains unmoved, reclining effortlessly in his chair, one arm draped casually over its back. His gaze is fixed on her, unwavering, a fresh cigarette dangling from his lips, the tendrils of smoke curling around him lazily. He makes no attempt to conceal his admiration, indifferent to whether she notices his lingering stare. The bold move she just made only serves to fuel his desire, leaving his infatuation as intense and consuming as ever.
It's evident that Paloma seeks his pursuit, craving the thrill of his relentless chase until she willingly offers herself completely. Though Javier typically refrains from chasing pussy, he finds himself captivated by the enticing dynamics of their relationship—a tantalizing dance of push and pull. This experience is vastly different from his usual encounters, where women often yield quickly to his advances. With Paloma, however, the challenge persists, defying his expectations and fueling his intrigue.
For a time, Javier reveled in the thrill of it all—the fleeting encounters with women at brothels, the allure of one-night stands. The fast-paced rhythm of constant attention and swift liaisons kept him occupied and amused. Yet now, a shift has occurred. He finds himself drawn to the unhurried pace of whatever undefined connection he shares with Paloma. It's a departure from the whirlwind of his past experiences, and despite its ambiguity, it holds a newfound allure, captivating him in its gradual unfolding.
It’s building tension, prolonged foreplay to a shared fantasy that’ll only bring them both conflict. Conflict that he doesn’t want to be burdened with…
Yet, she makes it so hard to stay the fuck away.
As she vanishes into the depths of the back area, Javier swiftly drains the last remnants of his drink, feeling more restless than when he had come in.
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It has been days since her last performance, yet she hasn’t stopped thinking about that night. It was her first time doing anything remotely sensual as she had–– and she liked it. It gave her a lot of real confidence and not that of which she pretends she obtains.
She’s already preparing herself for the scrutiny she’ll receive from a certain group of gossips at church for putting on such a scandalous performance.
Whatever, she thinks, people were going to talk shit regardless and she’s never felt more sexier and empowered. The self-assurance she got from people handing her tips and receiving Javier’s undivided attention was exhilarating.
It had been more than enough for her to quickly improvise a specific lyric in her song. For him .
Paloma is at a loss to rationalize her impulsive behavior as she approached him, swept up in a sensation of allure akin to a siren's call, drawing in a lost sea captain with an irresistible charm.
He’d been more preoccupied than usual the week beforehand, leaving Paloma to grapple with an unexpected yearning for his presence. Their interactions had become fleeting, confined to brief exchanges in passing or hurried conversations over the phone, often revolving around attempts to reach the sheriff.
So seeing him there that night, very present at her gig, she knew she had to do something big to give him the hint that she is very, very interested in doing something, anything with him. Consequences be damned.
Paloma won’t be the one to take it there, that’s a rookie move. If Javier is as interested as he appears to be, then she fully intends to practice some patience to have him crawling over to her .
Would he actually do that, though? She only knows bits and pieces of his romantic endeavors and from the little information she’s gathered; he doesn’t seem like the type to chase but she could be wrong.
There is no harm in trying to seduce him, really, and if he rejects her then she’ll take the hint and move on. It’s not like she wants to date the man or have him fall to one knee asking for her hand in marriage.
No, Paloma just really wants to get laid. Too many nights have came and went where all she’s dreamed of is the hot, older deputy sheriff screwing her into oblivion.
Then at the bar… he actually gave her money, matter of fact, he had been the biggest tipper of the night. Paloma contemplated giving the cash back to him, thinking it was entirely too much, but she talked herself out of the idea solely because she found the transaction incredibly hot.
With caution not to invest her entire focus in him, she’s also been seeing August. Their time together brings forth a distinct experience, stirring uncertainty about her romantic attachment to him. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon, amidst the tranquil shade of a sprawling oak tree, engrossed in shared reading, that an almost kiss cast light on her true sentiments towards him.
Their connection pulsates with an undeniable chemistry, his gaze lavishing upon her as if she were the rarest gem. United by shared passions for literature and idyllic beliefs, he breathes vitality into the stifling surroundings. While the opportunity for a shared kiss tantalizes, Paloma's thoughts persistently drift toward Javier, rendering the moment bittersweet.
Lost in her own thoughts amidst the task of pulling weeds from the garden, she remains oblivious to the persistent ringing of the landline inside. Only as the sound penetrates her consciousness does she snap out of her reverie. Hastily removing her gardening gloves, she reaches for the phone just before its final ring.
It’s Lola from The Whiskey Fox letting her know that a letter has just been dropped off–– addressed specifically for Paloma.
She is confused yet intrigued at the news, and in no time she’s in town; sitting on top of the counter ripping the poor envelope open and scanning the words on the piece of paper.
Apparently, the bride who was here last weekend contracts acts from all over Texas to perform at the state fair in Dallas. Seems like Paloma was conspicuous enough to warrant an invite.
A much bigger crowd, her first real chance to branch out by doing something she’s genuinely passionate about.
After freaking out about it with the ladies at the bar, even taking a celebratory tequila shot, Paloma is racing to make it to the station to share the good news with her dad.
She hurriedly hops off her bike, not even bothering to chain it to the rack as she snatches the letter and saunters up the steps and into the building overly excited.
Clearly, she’s interrupted something as both men’s heads snap in her direction with heavy, worried looks in their eyes when she barges in.
“ What’s wrong? Are you okay?! ” Her father steps towards her, scanning her for any injuries.
“ Yes I’m fine daddy, ” she tucks her hair behind her ears to contain some of her excitement as she feels some of the leftover apprehensiveness from before she arrived, “ I’m just excited to show you this, look! I got invited to preform at the state fair! ” She shoves the paper into his chest and he turns it around so he can read its contents.
Her eyes are bright in anticipation, searching his stoic face for a reaction.
“ Sweetheart, this is wonderful... ” He trails off and her smile begins to fade at his tone.
“ What? What’s wrong? ” She questions, eyes flickering over to Javier who stands almost awkwardly behind the sheriff.
“ A girl in Fayette has gone missing. We just got the call. About to head over to help ‘em out. ” The news has Paloma drawing in a breath, all the enthusiasm in her body evaporating as he hands the paper back to her.
“ O-Oh, that’s–– ”
“ This is amazing news, babygirl. We’ll talk about it more when I get home later, alright? We gotta get goin’. ”
The dismissal breaks her, and there’s a second where her demeanor shows it but it’s only temporarily as she nods understandingly then steps aside to allow him to maneuver his way into his office.
“ State fair, huh? That’s huge, congrats bella . ” Javier’s voice keeps her from scurrying away and she gives him a small smile.
“ Thanks, but seems like there’s more important things to focus on. ” Paloma won’t be self-centered by taking up any more of their valuable time. A girl is missing and if they want to come out on top then their focus has to remain on her and not Paloma’s trivial news.
“ You’re right but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy for you. ” She lifts her gaze from her shoes up to meet his at the use of ‘we’ and she melts, instantly.
In his captivating brown eyes, there's a delicate balance of gentleness and resolve, causing her knees to weaken slightly. As she meets his gaze, she discerns the subtle golden flecks that add a compassionate depth to his stare. It's as if his eyes extend a warm invitation, enveloping her in a silent understanding that speaks volumes.
“ Yeah, I guess. Just hate that all this is still happenin’. I’m assumin’ y’all aren’t any closer to findin’ out who’s doin’ all this, huh? ” Since her father doesn’t tell her anything except what he needs to, Paloma isn’t fully aware of the exasperatingly severity or statuses of the cases.
Javier lets out a heavy sigh, thumb dragging across his trimmed mustache then bottom lip and her eyes zero in on the movement, which she shouldn’t find as attractive as she does. “ No, but things like this always take time. It’s the most frustrating thing about the job. ”
Paloma nods, having somewhat of an understanding, “ Then I’ll get outta y’alls hair. Leave the solvin’ the mystery and savin’ the day to the pros. ” Her nose crinkles as she lets out a soft laugh in attempts to lighten the mood.
He gives her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and she feels that disappointment from earlier fizzle away at the sight, leaving her momentarily breathless. Javier's allure is undeniable, his rugged handsomeness coupled with an air of competence that captivates her completely. In that moment, she senses something more than mere physical attraction. It's as if small, fleeting moments like these are chipping away at the salacious layers of their connection, revealing something deeper and more profound beneath.
“ I’ll see you soon, yeah? Got those parts for dear Darla comin’ in any day now. You’ll be cruisin’ around town in no time. ” He winks at her and she giggles softly, blood pooling at her cheeks in a deep blush that he notices immediately and it makes his heart swell.
“ I’m lookin’ forward to it. ” Paloma replies, a bit more shyly than she’d like but that’s just what happens when you’re affected by Javier Peña’s irresistible charm.
They hold each other's gaze for a few fleeting seconds, Paloma losing herself in the depths of his warm brown eyes, while Javier savors every precious moment of her undivided attention. Their silent exchange is interrupted as Romeo emerges from his office, oblivious to yet another fleeting moment shared between his daughter and the deputy sheriff, lost in their own world of unspoken emotions.
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She is well aware of the copious amount of time she’s been putting in to her performance for the fair, spending all her free time at the bar with the band rehearsing or in her room piecing together her outfit.
This is her moment to showcase her mastery of her craft, and she seizes it with unwavering determination. To an outsider, the prospect of performing at a mediocre state fair, hours away from home, might seem insignificant. But to her, it's everything. Every chord struck, every lyric sung carries the weight of her passion and dedication. This performance isn't just about the venue; it's about pouring her heart and soul into the music, ensuring that every note resonates with sincerity and purpose.
At first, her father had been really excited for her… but as the days dragged by and tensions with the missing person case increased, he began to grow more cynical about it. With the way things were going, he wouldn’t be able to accompany her and that’s when all the unnecessary comments began. Romeo began to bring up the crime rate in Dallas, hypotheticals of what would happen if she were to get stuck on the side of the road on her way there, even insinuating that her band (which consisted of four members from their church) wouldn’t be as reliable as she knows them to be.
It pissed her off every time he opened his mouth to talk on the matter. At first she just ignored him or said something neutral to appease him, but now that the date was slowly approaching, she found it difficult to keep her rebuttals to herself. How many times was she going to have to remind him that she was a grown up? For some reason, he thinks she’s still a meek sixteen year old girl that needs his protection.
This is what led to the current argument. Him reluctant to let her go and Paloma insistent on going with or without his ‘permission’. Before it has the chance to get out of hand, there’s a knock at the front door and she uses it as an excuse to end the conversation.
Sighing heavily, she opens the wooden door to find Javier on the other side and immediately her frown disappears and she smiles sweetly up at him.
Amidst her intense preparation for the forthcoming performance and his deep engagement at the station, their encounters have become infrequent, a departure from their usual routine. Yet, despite the scarcity of interaction, their bodies seem attuned to each other's presence, responding instinctively to the silent symphony of their unspoken connection. Each glance exchanged, every fleeting touch carries a weight of familiarity and longing, painting a silent portrait of their unspoken desires.
“ Hey cowboy, whatcha doin’ here? ” She crosses her arms against her chest, the screen door still separating the two of them.
“ I told you I’d have the parts in any day now. ” It’s then that she sees a cardboard box in his possession and realization dawns on her.
“ Oh my god–– no way! Thank fuckin’–– god you’re such a saint. ” Javier chuckles at her words which has her feeling fucking giddy as she opens the screen door and steps aside to let him in.
“ M’not a saint, princesa , but your kind words are appreciated. ” They walk side by side, her shoulder softly brushing against his arm, to the kitchen where her father is.
“ Daddy, Javier’s here to finish workin’ on sweet ‘ol Darla. ” There’s a tinge of bitterness lacing her words as she addresses her father, their previous argument still fresh on her mind but she would rather throw herself off a bridge than finish said conversation in front of their company.
The two men greet each other, making small talk as Romeo thanks Javier for all he’s doing for both the town and the help he’s been extending to his daughter. Paloma boredly leans against the doorframe, waiting for them to wrap up their conversation and Javi can feel her impatience.
When they finally breakaway, It’s just him and Paloma in the shed, Romeo stuck inside taking an important call. Instead of perching herself on the chair like last time, she’s leaned over the hood of the car with him, close enough to be able to feel the heat radiating from her body.
“ I didn’t interrupt something earlier, did I? ” Javier asks, picking up on the tension between her and her dad in the kitchen just then.
Paloma doesn’t reply right away, eyes trained on his working hands within the engine.
“ You did but it was a good thing. We were havin’ a small argument that was about to turn into a real big fight. He’s being so anal about not lettin’ be go up to Dallas for the fair. He doesn’t seem to understand that I’m goin’ regardless. ” She scoffs with a shake of her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“ He just worries about you… doesn’t necessarily go about it in the best way but he just wants to make sure you’re safe. ” Picks his words as carefully as he can, gaze flickering to her face briefly before returning to the task at hand.
“ I know, he’s just so stubborn about it. ”
“ Sounds like someone I know. ”
She lets out a genuine laugh, the one that involuntarily brings a small smile to his face and she elbows him playfully.
“ He’ll come around. He sees how passionate you are about your music. Like you said, you’re goin’ to do it with or without him. ” Paloma doesn’t say anything, thinking his words over knowing that Javi’s right but he’s underestimating how adamant her father can be.
Finally getting the last piece screwed in tight, he stands to his full height and wipes his hands off on a rag, “ Alright, go start her up and see if she’s cooperatin’ finally. ” Javier gestures towards the driver’s seat as he slams the hood close and she excitedly leaves his side, flinging the door open and sliding in.
The engine starts with ease and the delighted cheer that comes from Paloma is more rewarding than anything he’s deserving of.
She hops out, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug that takes him back, literally, stumbling over his feet slightly but they’re kept upright as his hands naturally fall to her waist.
In this moment of exquisite closeness, their bodies meld together, igniting a fervent blaze of desire within him. The sensation of her pressed against him sends shivers of longing coursing through his veins, a primal urge that pulses with raw intensity. Her scent, an intoxicating blend of freshly bloomed flowers and ripe fruit, envelops him like a gentle summer breeze, evoking a sense of timeless enchantment he never wishes to leave. His touch against her velvety skin due to her cropped shirt ignites a symphony of sensations. The gentle curve of her back beneath his fingertips, the softness of her curves, beckon him into a world of unspoken longing and endless passion. Javier savors the electric thrill of her response, the subtle shivers that ripple across her skin in response to his touch. A satisfied smirk graces his lips.
“ Thank you so much, Javi. You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me. ” Paloma pulls away first, but not completely, and the position they’re left in is much more intimate than it should be.
His breath fans over her face, which is just inches apart, if he really wanted to; he could lean in and press his lips against hers…
And he really, really wants to but with Romeo just around the corner–– he won’t risk getting caught. No matter how enticing and easy it’d be to give in.
“ Javi? What happened to officer or cowboy? ” He teases her, pinching at her hips and she pushes at his chest, finally breaking their embrace.
“ Right, forgive me for wantin’ to have a moment of authenticity. ” Paloma playfully rolls her eyes, “ Thank you so much, officer . You have no idea how… ” She trails off suddenly and his brow cocks inquisitively.
“ You have no idea how satisfied you’ve left me. ”
The sultriness in her voice, gleam in her eyes and those long lashes batting up at him all innocently does nothing but fuel his craving for her.
“ If this is all it took to leave you satisfied, hermosa , then you’re in worse shape than I thought. ”
She bites down on her lower lip, “ Thank god I have you here to help me out, hmm? ”
And for a split second it feels like something might happen but ultimately it doesn’t.
“ Just doin’ what I can, cariño . You get any more car problems just call me and not that mecánico de mierda (shitty mechanic). ”
As she leans forward to retrieve the keys from the ignition, he finds himself entranced by the graceful arc of her back, a delicate curve that seems to invite his gaze to follow its every contour. The gentle slope of her spine draws his eyes downward, tracing a path along the subtle rise and fall of her silhouette. Clad in low-rise jeans, her form is sculpted with an exquisite precision, each curve accentuated by the snug embrace of denim. From the gentle swell of her hips to the elegant taper of her waist, she exudes a natural allure that captivates him completely. In the soft glow of the car's interior, she appears as a vision of timeless beauty, her every movement imbued with a subtle grace that leaves him spellbound. And as he watches her, his heart swells with an unspoken longing, drawn irresistibly to the captivating essence of her presence.
“ Well… I can’t call you if I don’t have your personal number… what if I have an emergency and you’re not at the station? ” Paloma can feel his gaze on her and it makes her feel satisfied that she’s able to capture his attention so easily, closing the car door with her hip and leaning against it.
“ That would just be a downright wretched thing. ” As his hand instinctively reaches for the memo book he habitually carries, a silent curse echoes in his mind upon realizing its absence. Yet, a solitary pen remains within his grasp, a slender tool poised for action. With a swift and decisive motion, Javier closes the distance between them, a subtle shift in proximity that doesn't escape her notice. In that fleeting moment, a sharp intake of breath betrays her surprise, a subtle acknowledgment of his unexpected approach.
“ Don’t have paper on me, but… ” Taking her hand gently in his, he turns it and begins to write his home phone number on her palm.
Paloma's heart quickens its pace as Javier's hand envelops hers, his touch a juxtaposition of rough and gentle against her soft skin. In that fleeting contact, she becomes acutely aware of the stark size difference between their hands, his encompassing hers entirely. A shiver dances down her spine at the sensation, igniting a primal response deep within her. With a soft exhale, she finds herself unconsciously pressing her thighs together, a physical manifestation of the stirring desire unfurling within her. The simple act of hand-holding, once mundane, now electrifies her senses, leaving her yearning for more of his touch.
The only thing she can think of is how good his large, thick fingers would feel pressed against her clit while he pleasures her.
Focus, Paloma, you’re practically drooling.
“ Might wanna write that down somewhere. The sweat’s gonna just mess it all up. ” Javier messes with her, letting go of her hand and stuffing the pen into the front pocket of his shirt. The thin layer of sweat clearly in response to his gesture.
Her eyes widen at the comment and it has her tripping over her words, “ Y-Yeah I’ll, uh, make sure not to lose this. Like I said, it’d be a bummer if I couldn’t get ahold of you in a time of need. ”
Her desire simmers beneath the surface, a silent melody of longing that dances in her gaze. Each stolen glance reveals the allure of his sun-kissed skin, teasing her senses with the promise of warmth and intimacy. The sight of his exposed collar, bathed in the soft glow of ambient light, ignites a fierce yearning within her. Her fingers itch to trace the contours of his chest, to explore the hidden depths beneath the fabric. With every breath, she fights the urge to succumb to temptation, her resolve tested by the magnetic pull of his presence.
He smirks, absolutely loving to see his affect on her. It’s only fair, seeing as she’s always the one to be riling him up. “ Alright cariño , I better get outta here before we get ourselves into trouble. ”
The fragile awareness of their shared moment shatters the haze of desire enveloping her, grounding her back to reality. With a subtle nod, she acknowledges the unspoken understanding between them, her heart pulsing with a mixture of longing and uncertainty. As he starts to withdraw, she feels a pang of reluctance, but the need to maintain composure propels her forward. " Of course, " she replies softly, her voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. With practiced grace, she gestures towards the exit, concealing the flutter of anticipation in her chest. Her hand remains steady, resisting the urge to wipe away the lingering warmth of his touch.
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All hands are on deck to find Jessica Valdez, the missing girl from Fayette.
Back in Colombia, everyone was too afraid to speak up when something was amiss in fear of having their lives taken by the vicious cartels that ran the streets. Those who did have the bravery to come forward with information only did so in hopes of getting support and protection from a government that wasn’t even theirs.
Among the multitude of warning signs observed by Javier, this particular one remained conspicuous yet unacknowledged, overshadowed by the grand scheme of dismantling the kingpins. Consequently, when adversity struck, the flow of valuable intelligence was delayed, impeding the acquisition of pertinent information. This rationale justified Javier's visits to the brothels, veiled under the pretext of proactive investigation aimed at uncovering critical data essential for combatting the narcos.
The fucking was just a pleasurable addition.
In small communities stateside, though, that’s all people do. Talk. So, when Javier goes out to do some canvassing of his own; he isn’t all surprised by how willingly people are to spill the secrets of their neighbors. By the end of the day, he damn near knows about all the affairs in town, who likes to steal money from who, the mayor’s illegitimate child, and decade long family feuds.
Exactly what he expected to find in small Texan towns.
Like he had told Romeo in the beginning, there’s always some truth to a rumor. As he’s collecting information about Seminary and the communities that surround it; he comes to find out about a trio of troublemakers that come from one of the towns where one of the earliest victims had been found and their peculiar interest in all things occult.
This piqued his interest and upon further investigation; he quickly found the files for August Dixon, Sloane McCarthy and Gabriel Torres.
At once, Sloane caught his attention, although her mugshot portrayed her with a youthful demeanor. The man from Nina's funeral, Gabriel, also stood out in his memory. He recalls Sloane mentioning him by name that day he was at the Leighton home, too. However, the third male remained unfamiliar, his appearance suggesting a rebellious disposition, evident from his file and accompanying photograph.
The trio had been in and out of jail all their adolescence for petty crimes like stealing, vandalism, public intoxication, fighting and other nonsense. Nothing severe. They were just troublemakers and that is not odd to find in rural areas. Kids get bored and do stupid shit.
Javier would know better than anyone, he did similar things at their age.
He’s spread out on his couch, whiskey in one hand and file in the other. He is deep in concentration, reading over different police reports and trying to find out where the occult aspect of it comes into play when the phone begins to ring and he lets out a grunt.
Reaching over to grab the receiver, he tucks it between his shoulder and ear as he answers.
“ Peña. ”
“ Hey cowboy. ”
Her voice has him sitting up straight, discarding the folder in his hand on the coffee table, now fully attentive. It’s actually kind of pathetic how fast his demeanor changes when it comes to Paloma.
“ Hola hermosa , a little late to be callin’, yeah? You should be getting your beauty sleep for the big day tomorrow. ” He hadn’t forgotten about her performance at the fair, making note of the date the second she’d told him about it.
“ I should be but I’ve got nerves like you wouldn’t believe. ” She pauses and he can hear her thinking, “ Daddy and I just had a fight… well I dunno even know if you’d call it that. It ended with him sayin’ he didn’t give a damn if I went or not… all that fussin’ just so he could say he didn’t care in the end. If I’m actually that insufferable I’m beggin’ you to put me out of my misery. ” He chuckles at that and he can imagine her smiling at his reaction.
“ Don’t be nervous, corazón . You’re goin’ to do great. You already knock it outta the park at The Whiskey Fox every weekend. This ain’t no different. ” It is different and he knows it, but he also knows her and how she tends to overthink to the point of anxiety. “ You ridin’ up there all alone? ” Not a fan of the idea but he wouldn’t disclose this to her, now when he knows how much it ticks her off.
“ I was gonna hitch a ride with the band, then I remembered I have a car now so I was goin’ to do that but… ”
“ But? ”
“ I want you to come with me… if you can. ”
The request surprises him, so much so that it prompts him to take a larger drink of his whiskey.
“ I didn’t scare you off, did I? ” She giggles nervously at his prolonged silence.
“ No ‘course not. Just figured you’d enjoyed your newfound freedom of being on the road alone. ”
“ As fun as that sounds, I think it’d ease my daddy’s nerves knowin’ his glorified babysitter was taggin’ along… ” Javier feels like there’s more to it than that, especially since she’s always complaining about being under father’s thumb then she goes on to continue and pacify him. Before he can ask her about it she continues,
“ And I’ve never traveled outside of Seminary… well not since I was a little girl. Didn’t really get out much after mom… Just haven’t been outta town in a long, long time. ” He can sense her coyness at the admission and it does nothing but persuade him into joining her.
Javi should think it over more, the logistics of him being hours away with Paloma, knowing how ambiguous things are between them. However, he swiftly dismisses his apprehensions, feeling somewhat foolish for blowing what might be a trivial matter out of proportion.
Especially when she seems so nervous to ask for his company.
Finishing off his drink, Javier leans in deeper to the comfort of his couch and he can hear her soft breaths on the other end of the line, anticipating his response.
“ Alright, cariño just tell me what time you need me to be there and I’ll be there. ”
#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fanfic#javier pena fic#javier peña narcos#javier pena narcos#javier peña fanfic#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña fic#javier peña smut#javier pena smut#javier peña x ofc
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pls pls pls i need some flashspruce headcanons, idc what they're abt i just NEED
i've been on the verge of insanity lately
this is so real and honestly your insanity brought back mine so thank you
i feel like part of the reason i've kinda fell off my eqg soapbox is bc i felt like i've said all i've ever wanted to say abt them, but i don't think i have actually! if you do not mind me repeating myself occasionally:
between flashspruce, flash has the most experience with boys despite having realised his attraction to them later than timber did. this is mainly because flash is surrounded by more boys because high school, the maths is pretty simple
timber, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with sexuality because his gender was doing all sorts of funny things. he had an idea that he was pan (of course, he didn't have the words for it yet) but he was never sure if he was romantically interested in boys or just admired them so obsessively he wanted to be one. as timber grew into his teen years he realised it was both lol
timber hides this with his confidence but flash can see right through it because he's dealt with boys like this before when they've hit on him previously (though they're never quite as cute as timber is. pretty privilege i tell ya)
when they're friends, they have this specific dynamic that idk how to explain (the closest i can think of is hyung-dongsaeng in korean culture), but essentially it's this feeling of wanting to dote on your friends that are younger than you (even if it's just by months). that's how flash treats timber in the early stages – flash finds out he's older than timber by a few months and now he cannot think outside of timber = baby
timber loves the mane 7 but if flash is tagging along with their hangouts (which is usually the case, timber only rarely hangs out with them as a group by himself), he's very clingy and has his arm hooked with flash's. flash finds it adorable, especially when timber refuses to let go in public
i see 2 ways in which they can go from friends to lovers; either it's very natural and it doesn't feel like anything's changed, OR they've reached a breaking point where they're just seconds away from devouring each other. sunset says that sometimes flash looks at timber like he will leave bite marks on the guy if he doesn't stop whatever he's doing (existing). both are good i'd say
timber has always filmed little candids of flash when they start being friends, mainly on his phone but whenever they're out by themselves, he brings his fancy camera out. flash doesn't know this, mainly because timber doesn't show him out of embarrassment, but you can really tell the person who filmed the videos loves their muse
flash sends over lyric docs whenever he feels like it and usually these are without any context, literally no "hello" or "how are you", just [text].doc and timber's like ???. but then timber reads them and is like sad™. timber's never admitted to this, and it'll take him a while to do so, but there have been certain lines in flash's lyrics that had him crying. how many chances do you get in life where your muse considers you their muse too?
flash sometimes buys timber books that he's read just so timber can also read them and then freak out the same way he did. most of the time timber's reaction is "why would you make me read this i am now clinically insane" which was exactly flash's goal
i would try to debate who would be the pathetic lover between flashspruce but there is no answer to that bc they are both equally pathetic in their own ways sorry loverboys
flash actively joins timber when he goes to get more wood just so he can see timber in a tanktop and an axe but flash will deny this every step of the way
timber can't say anything though bc man does this as well during the summer months when the flash drive are performing at bars; flash is Not about to wear leather in this weather and timber's gonna enjoy every moment of it
and yeah flash teaches timber the guitar bc what is he if not a lover of music and queer rockstars (he thinks timber could make a really cool queer rockstar if not for the fact he would steal a million of girls' hearts in one second and a smile)
these two make me want to chew a wall. dead serious
(i see your ask about flash, i will get to that soon i promise 🫡)
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hi i don't even go here (mob psycho) but your hello hello hello animation came across my dash and it is stunning. like so visually pleasing that i need you to know i queued it, looked up the song, added both versions to my spotify, and then came back to your post to watch it again like three more times, just mesmerized. song choice is banger, i've been trying to get into new music so thank you, but more importantly holy SHIT your animation is so gorgeous and cute and fun! please go off explaining all the little details of it because you said you added a bunch in your tags and i'd love to hear about them! :D
WHAAAT THE FUCK THANK YOU!!! Remi wolf is an awesome artist and I'm proud to be an unpaid advertisement for her music
SOME SMALL DETAILS I LIKE truthfully most of the details I mentioned are how the lyrics match up to the song and mentioning it makes me sound crazy so I won't list them all! But
Mob waking up to his phone is meant to match up with reigen calling him in the shot right after! there's only one person that would call him so bright in early in the morning ....
It's not super clear but the person after reigens part is meant to be ritsu, specifically when he's gone power crazy and tries attacking teru with his psychic powers. So, teru shows up in the next shot
Tomes little paper has the aliens she met on them. She drew it herself
One lyric i WILL TALK ABT is shous part because its meant to be like. The moment of him stepping thru the doorframe of ritsus house. hense, "i got one foot in and one out the door"
Reigen and mob play Rock Paper Scissors near the end, and reigen wins. Because reigen never loses at rock paper scissors!
Mob with his bouquet at the end because of course . i finished this before season 3 started so at the time it was an extra detail for manga readers
#asks#btw inbox messages about how they liked the animation I see you and I love you#they made me super happy i just have no idea how to respond#grinning at my phone
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Please click Azem's crystal to listen to Ki'to's finished personal playlist.
Finally, a project older than my Tumblr account is finished. orz
This playlist is an in-depth look at Ki'to's emotional journey through the MSQ (up to 6.0)
I didn't hit on every single story beat, but part of that is because certain things absorbed his focus more than others. For example, all of the Heavensward section is darker and more self-centered as that was when he was first inducted into his Dark Knighthood and where a lot of initial wounds began or were prodded and put under a microscope.
Thus, why this is labeled his emotional journey.
I genuinely hope you all enjoy this. It took me months to curate everything since I wanted the lyrics to do him justice.
I started this in October of last year iirc, just when I had finished ARR and made it past the bloody banquet cutscenes. I had been listening to another playlist and Revenge, And a Little More happened to play. It fit very well with how he had been feeling, and I decided I wanted to put together a playlist for him from there.
As I played through his story, I added songs that fit what he felt, and after a while the playlist hit 50+ songs. It simply needed to be sorted through and put in chronological order. A daunting task that I hadn't taken up until a couple days ago. And thus I'm finally able to release it.
Enjoy this look into my pride and joy of a Main, as well as my ever-shifting music taste. You have my thanks if you decide to listen to even a few songs. <3
I also have a little game for those who listen and get curious!
As I mentioned in an earlier post, instead of writing little blurbs about each song and its meaning, I want to know what you want to hear about!
Send me an ask with one of the songs off of his playlist, and I will give you a snapshot of his journey from where that song represents.
These will be much like the playlist drabbles I did a while ago. Writing's not my focus, but I do like to do it from time to time. :3c
I will always take these by the way, so even if you stumble upon this way down the line and don't see the specific song under the tag #playlist drabbles, send it in and I'll be happy to do it until every last song's been covered. <3
#Ki'to#Personal playlist#IT'S FINALLY COMPLETE#\o/#I am very proud of how it flows now#56 heckin' songs tho#Whew#Completely understandable if you want to take it by expack#1-10 is ARR#11-22 is HW#23-33 is SB#34-46 is ShB#and 47-56 is EW#I also am so proud I was able to find song-ified Alan Watts lectures that fit#I love listening to those#so I was hoping to add them as a start and finish to it at least#Also#I'll be linking this post in my pinned post under Ki'to's banner#in case y'all wanna find it again!#<3
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Spotify Tag Game
I got tagged by @sofapup17! Thank you so much 💜
The game: Put your Spotify On Repeat playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs!
Honestly, I'm the worst person to do this x'D I don't use Spotify all that often so right now all songs on my On Repeat list are from the Who Holds the Devil playlist I made. So this turned into less of a "what music do you listen to" and more of a "let me explain why I put these specific songs on my Who Holds the Devil playlist." BUT I guess there might be an audience for that, too?
So let's go, I guess?
___
1. Heroes Rise - Tommee Profitt, Sam Tinnez
Definitely more of a Ga On-focused song what with that whole "hero" thing he's got going on and his attempts to make a change in the world. But there are also definite hints of Yo Han in that whole "heroes never die" aspect. Because while what he did was technically illegal and he's more of an antihero than anything else, he IS definitely still a hero. And what he did will be remembered for a long time to come, if nothing else because it gave rise to new heroes (see what I did there? ;D)
This is just a very good song to convey the overarching plot of heroes and the power they hold — but also the amount of conviction and dedication it requires.
2. I Didn't Ask For This - Beth Crowley
I am OBSESSED with this song right now, specifically in relation to Yo Han. There are parts of this song that hits just right for his character, both in the original drama and Who Holds the Devil. I mean:
Take what's left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained 'cause
The pieces are so sharp
*chef's kiss*
But also:
*pterodactyl screech*
3. The Sacrament - HIM
My teenage emo phase coming back to bite me in the ass x'D No, but really, there's just something with this song that vibes with the whole religious themes of The Devil Judge. And the longing, desperation, and reverence of Who Holds the Devil.
Also, I just really, really love that piano. So sue me.
4. Die For You - PENTAGON
This one is pretty self-explanatory, I feel. Very much Ga On at the start of Who Holds the Devil, desperately longing for Yo Han. It also perfectly conveys his recklessness and just how far he'd be willing to go to be forgiven for his mistakes.
5. Dancing's Done - Ava Max
Possibly added during a bit of a YOLO moment, not going to lie xD BUT, there are definitely parts of the lyrics that apply:
I wanna give into your dark temptation
I wanna touch you like nobody does, oh
People like you and me were born to run
So where we going when the dancing's done? (Oh)
Because Ga On sure has hell wants to give in to Yo Han's dark temptation, even if he pretends that he doesn't.
6. A Little Bit Dangerous - CRMNL
Yo Han. Through and through. It also has a bit of the same cheekiness as the original soundtrack, which I like. And, I mean:
Let out of the cage, took my chains away
I'm so tough to tame now
Look at what you made me
Look at what you made me do
7. I Want You To Want Me - Chase Holfelder
Another Yo Han song. Like, if you've read The Gentle Light? You know why this song is here. You know about the desperation and the yearning and the need. So, really, I HAD to put this on the list.
BECAUSE PINING.
8. Let Me Be Your Armor - Assemblage 23
I am SO glad this song made it onto the list because this one actually requires an explanation. It's one that might not make a lot of sense in terms of style (it definitely has a different vibe than the rest) BUT. The lyrics. The LYRICS. Like, babes. Listen to the lyrics. Listen to the lyrics ALL THE WAY THROUGH and then tell me this isn't Yo Han (as he sees himself).
This is a song I've had in my folders for literal YEARS (a friend sent it to me as a mood song for one of my OCs) and the moment I decided to make this playlist, I KNEW this song had to be on it.
9. A Dangerous Thing - AURORA
Honestly, I'm not sure if I need to explain this one all that much. It kind of speaks for itself in a lot of ways. Though I WILL say that while the dangerous thing is Yo Han in most situations, just maybe, there might be times when it's Ga On. Especially in Who Holds the Devil.
(... you'll understand after chapter 37)
10. Addicted - MONSTA X
Look. I know we haven't really gotten to that part yet, but they be horny, okay? Desperate and horny. And very much addicted to each other. What more do you want me to say? xD
(for real, though, MONSTA X sure know how to make desperate and horny songs. Mercy is even worse, in the best way possible).
___
Well, I hope that was fun! Even if it turned into an advertisement for Who Holds the Devil and the attached playlist x'D
As for tagging, I tag @shi-toyu because I know you at least use Spotify ;) And everyone else who wants to do it!
#Who Holds the Devil#Amethystina Does Tag Games#With music this time!#And tbh the only reason I'm doing it is because of this playlist x'D#I actually listen to a lot of music#But not on Spotify or YouTube#Or streaming in general#I'm old school#And the player I use doesn't have a way to record what I've been looping lately#But it's mostly K-pop tbh#So doing it this way was more fun for me#Since it has a bit more variety#Though less metal than necessary to convey my true taste in music xD#Spotify
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@ineffabildaddy and @celestialcrowley both tagged me in this long bio thingy (thank u!!! 💚), it's taken me a while to get round to it but here's some stuff about me:
Real name: Elyan
Nickname & nickname origins: Some people call me Ely but mostly everyone uses my full name.
Ao3: sad_chaos_goblin Haven't actually published anything (yet) but I might start soon ^^
Social media: i mostly use ig but it's a personal private acc
state country: Spain. I'm half English on my mum's side but I've never actually lived in the UK. I was born in Málaga, lived in Dublin for a bit and now I live in Barcelona.
pets: none right now, although I call my work bestie my Tamagotchi and she says she's my pet human, I keep snacks in my drawer cos she gets hungry often <3 Back when I was a kid we had a belgian shepherd and later on a samoyed, both the sweetest things ever. I miss them, dogs should live as long as humans :(
hobbies: reading (mostly I'm into fantasy and good omens fanfics right now but it changes every now and then), lyrical dance, aerial silks, pole dance and recently I'm getting into writing (inspired by GO)
Personality: I'm an extroverted introvert, I love spending time with people I like and I love getting to know new people I vibe with, but I need a lot of alone time, my social battery is limited and social interaction can feel very draining if I don't get alone time to recharge. I can be quite socially awkward and shy if I don't know people too well but once I'm comfortable around someone I get very giggly and silly. I'm an INFJ according to a test thingy someone sent me to fill in.
Favourite holiday: Hallowe'en. Big spooky fan, me. Mostly because it means autumn has arrived, it's my favourite season. Also love costume parties and roasted chestnuts (in the Catalunya region of Spain, where I live, it's tradition to have roasted chestnuts on the 31st).
Favourite food: hmm hard to choose. (Vegan) lasagna, mushroom risotto, curries, avocado toast, regular toast with margarine or olive oil, bread in general, i love bread!
Favourite dessert: lotus cheesecake or fudgy chocolate cake (vegan versions).
Favourite colour: I'm not really sure I have a specific favourite colour but I generally prefer cool colours over warm ones.
Favourite quote/s: "To live is the rarest thing in the world; most people exist, that is all" - Oscar Wilde, "Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn" - Delmore Schwartz, "To the world" - Good Omens
Favourite book/s: too hard to pick all-time faves so here are a few favourite recent reads - Six of Crows/Crooken Kingdom, 1Q84, Babel, Good Omens (currently reading)
Favourite tv shows: Good Omens (obvi), Brooklyn99, The Office, the Haunting of Bly Manor, From
Favourite films: Jurassic Park (the original one), Black Swan, Little Women, I'm kind of blanking here can't think of any others
Favourite characters: Crowley & Aziraphale, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zenik, Wylan VanEck, Matthias Helvar, Jo March, Tori from Heartstopper & Solitaire, Jake Peralta, Holden Caulfield
Favourite actors: currently quite obsessed with Michael Sheen and David Tennant, I wonder why
Favourite song/s: ooh this is a hard one. Off the top of my head right now:
-My immortal - Evanescence
-Under Pressure - Queen
-Who wants to live forever - Queen
-Lovely - Billie Eilish
-Smoke Signals - Phoebe Bridgers
-Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen
-Take me somewhere nice - Mogwai
-Massa Tard - Blaumut
-With me - Sum41
-Perra - Rigoberta Bandini
-Run - Snow Patrol
-Cardigan - Taylor Swift
I'm gonna stop myself here cos I could just keep adding songs and this would get wayyy too long
Favourite music genre/s: Whatever vibes with my state of mind in the moment.
Favourite podcast/s: Don't really listen to podcasts cos I have rubbish attention span and if I play one while I'm out walking around I am practically guaranteed to get distracted by my own thoughts and stop paying attention and suddenly realise I haven't processed a single word in the last half hour
Have you ever met a celebrity: I've decided locally famous drag queens count as celebrities so yes, i have met a few and they were all super friendly! ^^
Do you collect anything: I've moved a lot since I left home so I've tended to be quite practical about not accumulating things. Books would be the exception I guess, I love buying physical copies.
Do you have any idols: in Neil Gaiman we trust
Is there a real life friend you can be completely yourself with: I am terrible at being vulnerable and expressing my feelings face to face but i do have a couple of people very willing to be a safe space whenever i do manage to share
Where would you live to travel to: New Zealand, Tromsø (Norway), West Coast Canada
Random fact about yourself: I get carsick very easily.
If you made it all the way down here, thanks for reading all my gibberish!! <3
I think many people i would tag have already been tagged elsewhere so I'll leave it at that but everybody feel free to join in!
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