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#i mean the other ellis island

hybridirl · 3 months

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who first?

18+ only, please!

ellie x f!loser!reader x abby

a/n: sorry for the long wait! i was with my family the past week celebrating a holiday :)!! now i’m back and i’m gonna try and pump out a few. i am in fact working on the ellie x loser!reader pt2, so pls bear with me! i’m still thinking up ideas. this shit is harddd

brief summary: ellie and abby are the bestest of friends, and you’re… there. they kinda feel bad for you, so they bring home some of the “good shit” for a game. never have i ever? with shots. reversed. haven’t done it? drink!!!

tw / AU, *DUBCON* (reader is drunk (but so is ellie and abby)), strap-on, use of y/n, cunnilingus (r and e receiving), tit-slapping, porn no plot, rushed sex, threesome, reader gets referred to as “girl”

ᡣ𐭩

watching tiktoks for hours on end was never your proudest pastime, especially when your two roommates were constantly out partying. you, honestly, were a third wheel. well, to be fair, you came into this friendship way after these two had already been established as this inseparable duo. still, being a friend - even if it’s not as deep - doesn’t mean you should be excluded from their little activities.

so, this is how your night has gone so far: moping around, trying to bake some cookies you found on tiktok, and binging tiktok. you sat on the island of the kitchen, a frown plastered on your face as you munched on your fifth cookie.

you glanced at the clock: 11:35 PM. you knew exactly what this meant; one of them is slutting themselves out while the other waits to drive themselves home. god, how it aggravated you! - how easily they could get into someone’s pants by just looking at them while you had to ease your way into it. that slow, smooth talking you, except it rarely ever worked and you came off as a creep. the pickup lines from reddit don’t seem to work in reality, huh?

pulling yourself off the counter and shoving the last piece of cookie into your mouth, you wondered why you stayed up until they came back. maybe you were just a little afraid to go to sleep alone, maybe you were just simply lonely. you wanted them to come home, tell you about their day and get envious at their friendship that you weren’t in on and that you didn’t have. poor you. you were like a watchdog, always staying up and looking out until your ‘owners’ came along, praising you for your good work so you could get your little dopamine rush. you even whimpered, just a little, as you sat on the couch to watch some cheesy drama movie that you had zero interest in. about thirty minutes in, the door opens. you turn your head and watch your two acquaintances walk in, both holding a suspiciously shaped brown bag.

“hey,” you greet, “what’re those?” you pointed toward the bags in their hands.

“just stuff for you,” ellie chirped first, setting the bag on the coffee table.

“us, she means,” abby cut in, setting hers down. you watched as they revealed what was shielded from her viewing: two tall bottles of ‘devil’s spring vodka.’

you cocked your head to the side and spoke, “for us? what for?” they gave you a ‘what do you think?’ look before ellie headed off to get three shot glasses. she placed one in front of you, abby, and herself.

“so, y/n,” abby began, popping the top and pouring some into each glass. “we know you’re lonely and we thought we’d do something for you, huh? sound good?” you pursed your lips and nodded, completely weirded out by this interaction.

“we’re gonna play a game,” ellie said, circling her glass with her hands. “it’s like ‘never have i ever.’ ever played?” you nodded. “good. so, each time someone says something you haven’t done, you take a shot. got it?” you nod again. “a—lright, you guys ready?” abby smiles and raises her hand.

“i’ll go first,” she told, an obvious mischievous glint in her eye, “let’s start of tame. so, y/n, have you ever… kissed someone in public? i’m not talking a little peck, i’m talking seriously making out.” your face heated, and your jaw dropped just slightly. you thought about lying, of course, just to seem cool, but, you knew they’d know.

“i-i… no, i haven’t,” you muttered out, shakily reaching your hand toward your glass. you took a sip, wincing at the burn in your throat.

“c’mon, y/n, the whole thing,” ellie chuckled at your ministrations. you whimpered silently before your head tilted back, gulping the rest down.

“ugh,” you groaned as you set it down and watched as ellie pour more into your glass. you had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

“okay, my turn,” ellie giggled, looking at the two of you. “okay, y/n, have you ever… had someone motorboat you?” your brows furrowed immediately.

“m-motorboat? i, well, um… no.”

“drink up then, girl.” they watched as you took another brave shot, your face contorting into what looked like pain, and, to be fair, it was painful.

you were about to speak, for your turn, but abby interrupted quickly, barely even noticing your open mouth, “my turn, huh?” abby questioned. your jaw shut right back up, letting her take the lead. letting her do her thing. “so, y/n, ever, i don’t know, let’s get a little crazier with this one, yeah? ever been in a threesome?”

you stared at abby with wide eyes, why are they asking you this stuff? why only you?

“no…” you whispered, continuing your stare on her as you went to take yet another shot. you were already starting to feel a buzz, already starting to feel the heat in your tummy. with a slightly clouded head, you turned to ellie. she was smirking, her eyes knowing as her lips parted once more.

“how about you give it a go?” ellie asked you, and you felt some relief.

“h-have you guys ever, um… have you guys ever… had a threesome?” you asked in a low voice. you watched abby roll her eyes and go to grab her glass, as with ellie.

“o—kay, my turn,” ellie clasped her hands together, after setting her glass back down, “ever taken it up the ass, y/n?”

“why are you only asking me?” you gawked, reaching for your glass. you took the next shot, and felt a sudden need for more.

“because we already know what we’ve did,” abby replied, another shot of the vodka slithering down her throat. “mm, that’s some good shit. so, y/n, have you ever topped?” you sighed as you reached for the glass once more. “oh, so you’re a bottom? figures. i mean, look at you.” you looked up at her, slightly offended whilst your hands went to pour yourself another shot.

“have you guys ever, uh, had public… sex?” you found yourself boldly asking, obvious that this drink was getting to you. they both raised their glasses to their lips.

this went on and on, mostly them asking you, you sometimes asking them until you were all drunk out of your minds.

“y/n,” ellie finally groaned and she scooted closer to you. you hadn’t realized the proximity of them both, slowly decreasing as the night went on. you hummed a response, your eyes half closed and your face hot. “h’ve you ever, uh, fantasized? about us?” ellie asked, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. your hand didn’t reach for the glass, rather you simply stared into those green eyes. “yeah? you have? why didn’t you tell us? we coulda’ made all of your dreams come true, sweetheart,” she whispered, her hand meeting your waist.

“i-i was n-nervous,” you whined, “didn’ wanna say anythin’…”

“y/n, baby,” abby purred into your ear, “you don’ gotta be nervous ‘round us.” your head throbbed as you bit your lip; their hands explored your body, slowly molding you into your arousal. you wondered if this was their plan all along as their fingers danced around your PJs, caressing your inner thighs…

“please,” you whispered and their eyes flickered toward you. “…t-touch me…” you sighed blissfully as ellie’s hand finally met with your pajama-clad vulva. abby’s head dipped into the crook of your neck; she kissed up your neck and throat, then tilted your head toward hers to kiss your lips. sloppily, her tongue slipped into your mouth, prodding and massaging your tongue. your own mingled with hers, dancing around each other’s. you barely noticed your bottoms being tugged down, only realizing once the chill of the air hit your heat.

“lemme taste ‘er first,” abby said quickly as she pulled away from your swollen lips.

“no,” ellie whined, tugging your body toward hers.

“it was my idea,” she growled in return, “now let me have her first.” ellie huffed, but let go. she took asylum in your breasts; lifting your shirt up, she immediately dove into your mounds. she licked up to your nipple, taking it between her lips. you let out a broken moan as she nibbled on your sensitive bud, her tongue swirling around your pebbling nipples.

abby slid your legs open with her hands, spreading your labia with her thumb.

“how long h’ve you been this wet, y/n?” an obvious rhetorical question. you were too occupied with ellie and the worship of your breasts.

“a’w-while,” you managed to croak, though. you heard her chuckle and felt your body being tugged toward her more. “mmf, abby, be gentle…” ellie watched as abby’s head dipped between your legs, then her eyes flickered to your face to watch it contort in pleasurable expressions. “abby… ngh…” your hand reached to tug at her blonde hair, earning a groan from her lips.

“i heard she’s a p-pro,” ellie whispered to you while she tugged off her bottoms. your eyes fluttered, staring dazed at the sight of her pussy.

“want,” you purred out. ellie only smirked at you, her hands moving in to shove you down onto the couch. her legs straddled your head and she lowered herself onto you without warning, virtually smothering you. “mmf!” your brows were furrowed, your nose smooshed against her wet cunt. she ground her hips into your face, covering it in her slick.

“c’mon, y/n, thought you wanted it.” your doe eyes kept gazing up at her and you began to do the best you could with her weight in your face, your tongue working hard against her swollen clit.

both of the feelings were intoxicating, abby at your pussy, you at ellie’s. your legs tightened around abby’s head as her fingers found your g-spot, thrusting her fingers in and out of you. you moan into ellie, slurping at the nectar leaking from her. you’re so intoxicated, you can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or this delicious feeling. your hands gripped ellie’s sides and you pulled her closer. you were whimpering, moaning, abby’s tongue wriggling into you, her fingernails digging into your plush thighs.

“mmm!” you cried, your eyes shutting as you felt a knot in your stomach begin to uncoil, your juices coating abby’s tongue and face.

“ahn, yeah,” abby groaned. “righ’ on my tongue, sweethear’.” your eyes were rolling, face scrunched in pleasure. it was a sure sight for ellie, drawing - no, forcing ellie’s own climax to follow suit. her arousal painted you, creaming on your face as she held your head close to her.

“oh, god, please please please — fuck!”

she ground against you, riding her orgasm out in your face. her clit bumped your nose, and your hands gripped her hips, slowly guiding her to a halt as she came down. as she got up from you, she took a moment to admire her work. your face looked so exhausted, wet with her, and needy for more.

“abby,” ellie said, “g-go get the…” she gestured into the direction of the bedrooms, then abby knew what she was talking about. she made her way into one the bedrooms, who knows which, and rummaged through. you watched the hallway curiously, ready for her arrival. you tried to sit up, but ellie only grabbed you, laying you down on her thighs. when abby came out, you were surprised to find her pant-less, and with a harness strapped to her person, not to mention a dildo hanging from it. she approached, slow and cautious steps. you couldn’t tell if she was trying to tease you or try to get you into the idea.

“you wan’ it?” she asked you, slowly crawling into the sofa, then nudging and prodding your wetness with the head.

“wan’ it.”

“alrigh’, sweet girl,” she breathed, easing the head into your slippery entrance. “good?” you nodded your head, egging her on silently.

“abby,” you moaned breathlessly. she shushed you, halting her movements so you could get used to her. she ran her rough hands down your sides, down, down, to your clit, gently rubbing it to make you feel some sort of goodness as she stood still. “move, please,” you whimpered.

“y/n, you should see ‘yer face right now,” ellie giggled, caressing the side of your head. “god, y’so pretty. fuck ‘er, abby, hurry. look at ‘er face.” abby rolled her eyes, not usually taking commands. she was going to anyway, but…

“oh!” you gasped from her sudden movements, a tight snap from her hips. “f-fuck!”

“mmm, ‘n moans so pretty,” ellie praised, “didn’ get to hear ‘ya so well when you were under me. gettin’ smothered by my pussy... mhm…” she caressed your face again, cupping your cheeks as abby began to pound you.

“abby!” you cried to her, eyes shut tight, hands flailing to find somewhere to rest. they found abby’s biceps, gripping them tightly as she slapped her hips against yours. “please, ngh!” you grit your teeth, jaw clenched while pleasure overtook you.

“eyes open,” abby growled, “‘n on me.” you had to fight yourself to open your eyes, but the sight in front of you was perfect. abby’s blonde hair sticking to her forehead, her braid dangling and swinging with each thrust, her slack jaw, fuck. “yeah, ‘atta girl.” she was thrusting just right, obviously so experienced. it was pleasing her, too, the strap hitting just right at her swollen clit.

how badly you wanted to touch her body, worship her like you did quietly with her eyes. she was like a greek god, muscular and sculpted so perfectly. especially now, sweat marbling her skin and her chiseled body over yours. you almost forgot ellie was there, being as (almost) quiet as she was. glancing up, you caught sight of her, her fingers buried into her cunt. the sight alone was enough to make you cum once more, but you couldn’t, not so early. you looked back up at the deity above you who was staring into your eyes.

“abby,” you groaned. you threw your head back, going dumb on her cock. “right there… f-please…” cross-eyed, you sobered up a little as you felt a harsh pain on your breasts. “oh!” you gasped, feeling her large hand slap your chest. “abby!”

“take my cock, girl,” abby panted, hands squeezing your breasts, using them as leverage as she continued her pounding.

“fu—ck,” ellie groaned to the sight of you and to the noise of her fingers in her cunt, squelching, obscene, and loud. “y’doing so good, y/n… yes… uhn!”

you ran your hand up abby’s biceps, wrapping your arms around her neck. this prompted her to lean in and kiss your lips, deep and hungry. your hand cupped her cheek, pulling her close while your lips collided. abby pulled away first to admire your body and you took this moment to lift your arms above your head, desperately trying to pull ellie closer by her legs. she scoot closer and you cocked your head to the side, immediately licking at her cunt.

“yeah,” abby moaned, feeling the beginnings of her orgasm. “lick ‘er fuckin’ pussy.” she gripped your waist, hurriedly thrusting into you, her clot bumping against the harness. “fuck, i’m cumming!” she moaned, collapsing onto you as she came. she kissed at your neck, bit at it, too, while she continued to thrust, needing you to cum, too. her fingers finding your clit, furiously rubbing it.

you couldn’t help it anymore; biting into ellie’s thigh, you came. squirted, actually. all over her cock, all over her abdomen. your body was convulsing, shaking and twitching for her. ellie followed in suit, your teeth pushing her over the edge as they sunk deeper into her. all three of you were moaning, crying, holding each other tight.

“fuck,” you were the first to say. abby slowly pulled out of you, panting deeply.

“you squirted,” abby chuckled with admiration. she squeezed your thighs and glanced up at ellie, “all good?” she asked. ellie nodded.

“yeah, just,” she sighed blissfully, “fuck. we should do this again.” you giggled and kissed ellie’s thigh.

“mhm,” you agreed.

maybe your (sex?) life has just changed for the better.

847 notes · View notes

thankskenpenders · 17 days

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The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

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itsokbbygrl · 2 months

Text

Just Stay.

- A GN!Reader x Jackson!Joel Miller story

For my wonderful, lovely, kind, hilarious friend, Jo (@morgaussy/@merci-killing), who wants nothing more than to worship that old man. I hope this is to your liking ♡

Tags: 18+ MDNI, explicit content, BODY WORSHIP, slight size difference (reader is described as shorter than Joel), reader is generally able bodied and has hair but is otherwise not described, oral sex (M receiving), heavy petting, lots and lots of kisses, body hair appreciation, domestic fluffy smut, two goobers deeply in love, kink discussion (daddy kink, and per jo's request, "A secret barely there splash of mommy kink"), grief mention, TLOU2 Jackson Era (post-Ellie run away era, pre-snowstorm)

WC: 4.6k

A/N: this is full of lazy writing technique and i am aware! there is POV switching whenever i say so, get in both their brains, die mad about it POV purists :)

Warm water, straight from the tap. Straight from the tap and into the basin where Joel Miller’s aching muscles are learning to relax, still, years after their first reconnaissance with a god’s honest bath. He can’t quite believe it. More than 20 years after the end of the world, where people starve and maim and kill and hunt to survive, there are still hot baths. He takes a deep breath and sighs in relief, letting himself sink lower beneath the surface, only the top of his broad chest and shoulders remaining above in the cool air of the home. He closes his eyes for a moment, soaking.

The jiggling of the sticky front door knob calls his attention. An alertness solidified in a world consisting only of predators and prey. Kill or be killed. He knows, rationally, he’s safe here. His eyes clock his hunting knife laid safely on the vanity anyway.

He listens to the familiar sound of your steps, the way you insist on toeing off your boots at the front door, the soft pattering of sock clad feet as they maneuver around the first floor, the creak of the loose floorboard near the kitchen island that he’s been meaning to fix. He can tell just from your movements that you’re hankering for a cup of tea—hearing the cabinet door close softly, always gentle, the ceramic clink of the base of your favorite mug coming into contact with the stone countertop, the metallic clang of the filled teapot as you set it atop the stove. He relaxes further knowing you’re home, safe.

The water is just turning tepid when he hears the stairs creak, signaling your imminent arrival. He pushes himself back up to greet you, the cooler air causing his wet skin to break out in gooseflesh. He turns his head to find you standing quietly, hip propped against the vanity, warm mug cupped between your palms, eyes trained on him already, his favorite soft grin gracing your lips, plumping your cheeks.

“Whatcha doin’ there, starlight?” he asks.

“Just admiring the art,” you respond, raising your mug to your mouth and taking a slurping sip, careful not to burn the fragile skin of your lips and tongue. The response makes him chuckle and flush, blaming the pinkness brought to his chest and neck on the temperature of the water if pressed.

His starlight. A beacon in the dark, guiding him home. He found you at a time when he thought he’d lost everything. Ellie had run off, and, terrified, he’d run after her. Once she’d been found, she’d confessed how she hated him for the choices he’d made for her, how she didn’t want to be part of his life anymore, and he’d agreed to her terms as long as it meant she’d be safe and home. He’d spent the entire ride back to Jackson fighting off the grief that threatened to overtake him. He wasn’t sure how he was going to cope this time, losing another daughter. At least this time he knew she was alive, could watch from a distance as she grew, could talk to the other townsfolk and get updates on her life, make sure she was ok.

That was where you came in. You’d been serving at the local watering hole, The Tipsy Bison, when he’d come in for a drink. You’d poured his whiskey neat, just as he’d requested, and quietly left him to his thoughts as you tended to other patrons. He sat quietly, sipping his drink and listening to your conversation. His ears perked up when he heard you mention your students having a hard time with an assignment you’d given recently. He knew everyone in town shared responsibilities, should’ve figured you would have more to offer to Jackson than to only be a bartender. When you came over to check on him, see if he wanted another pour he assumes, he cleared his throat and asked about your other role as a teacher and your entire face lit up as you gushed about your kids. He tried to listen, but found himself lost in the feeling of being a kid again, the awe he felt the first time his dad had taken him and Tommy out to the wide open Texan countryside and shown them how bright the stars could shine.

He tuned back in when he caught you talking about one student in particular you had connected with—his Ellie. How she was a natural writer, so creative, always scribbling in her journal. Mostly doodles, but over time you described how you’d earned her trust and she’d opened up a little more, shown you some of her poetry, how you’d encouraged her to keep writing. You talked about how she was quiet, shy, kept to herself most of the time, but she had a lot to say on paper. Joel tried to tamp down the proud tears that threatened to well at the news. She was ok. She was going to be ok.

Joel kept going back and you were always there for him, greeting him by name with a soft smile, pouring his glass of whiskey before he’d even had a chance to take a seat on one of the old wooden barstools. You’d formed an easy friendship and before he knew it, he was inviting you over for dinner. You’d gone a little speechless and he worried he’d overstepped, but then you’d let out a breath you must have been holding and giggled, burying your face in your palms for a second before you found his eyes again and the way they shone for him was nothing short of celestial. You’d agreed, and the rest is history.

“You wanna get in?” Joel asked, motioning to the tub.

You shook your head. “Not today. Just want to keep you company if that’s alright.”

“Course that’s alright, sweetheart. Make yourself at home,” he said before going back to relaxing, closing his eyes.

You watched him ease back into contentment in the water before you moved, opening the cabinet below the sink and stealing a couple clean towels. You placed them on the floor next to the tub before kneeling atop them. You took a long drink from your mug of tea before placing it aside. You looked over the products on the tub ledge and grabbed the shampoo. Quietly, you leaned over, laying a soft kiss to Joel’s exposed shoulder before whispering in his ear, “Tip your head back for me.”

He did as instructed, sitting up from the wall, keeping his eyes closed and tipping his head back. You grabbed your mug of tea, draining it before quickly rinsing it in the water, filling it and carefully soaking his sweat damp curls, using your hand to ensure none of the water dripped forward onto his face. You then uncapped the shampoo and squirted a small amount into the palm of your hand. You lathered your hands together, causing the shampoo to begin sudsing, and brought your fingers to his scalp. He hummed in bliss as you began massaging the soap into his tresses, the day’s tension easing from you both as you cared and were cared for in return.

After a few minutes of gentle ministration, you guided his head back with your fingertip under his chin before rinsing the suds from his locks. You then reached for your bottle of conditioner, something you typically reserved for special occasions, and squirted a dollop into your hand before softly carding it through his hair. You let it sit for a bit, rinsing your hands in the water and allowing yourself a moment to admire the man in front of you. He was remarkably beautiful—strong, broad, sun speckled chest giving way to a softer stomach coated in a fine layer of soft brown hair that drew your eyes southward to where his thick cock laid softly against the crease of his thigh, his legs strong enough to walk or ride for miles. Scars littered his skin and you mentally pressed a kiss to each one as your eyes worked their way back up to his face. His eyes met yours there and he leaned forward, capturing your mouth with his own. He held you in place with his palm in its favorite place, cupped around the side of your jaw, thumb finding its place in the divot next to your ear. He kissed you deeply for a few more moments, pouring all of his affection for you into it. You smiled, effectively breaking the embrace, and left him with a final peck to his lips, the tip of his nose, his forehead, before maneuvering him once again to rinse the conditioner from his hair.

Once clean, you helped ease him from beneath the water, wrapping him in one of the towels, now body-warm from where you sat, using the other as a soft barrier between his wet feet and the cold tile floor. He lets you care for him without a word, chest warming as you dry his body and leave sweet kisses in the towel’s wake as you go. He laughs good naturedly when you try to comb his hair back and have trouble reaching, bending down to make the job easier. His heart swells when he sees you grab your precious jar of aloe from the countertop, swiping your fingers through the gooey substance and working it between your palms.

“Can you sit on the toilet for me, please?” You ask. He plants a kiss on your head and complies, thankful for the warm towel you wrapped him with saving his damp skin from the cold porcelain. You stand between his spread thighs and begin your work, piecing together a clump of curls and twisting them around your finger, effectively applying the gelled aloe before giving the little ringlet a squeeze and moving onto the next piece. Joel sits calmly, loving the feeling of your fingers in his hair, the way you love him so simply. He wonders, as he often does, how he got so lucky to find such goodness in a world gone so rotten.

You take your time, dipping back into the jar of aloe you harvested earlier that week as needed, ensuring each ringlet receives the care it so deserves. You love doing this for him. You love this man—this man with his reputation for violence, this man with a karmic debt that may never be fully repaid, this man whose hands were made to create, not destroy, who patiently sits with children as he teaches them to play the guitar, who misses his daughters more than anything in the world. Joel Miller, who protects the least of these with his gun and his knife and his bare hands. The same hands that delicately carve in his workshop, drafting some of the most intricate pieces of woodworking you’d ever seen.

You finish the last curl at the base of his skull, just behind his ear. You give it a little tug and watch as it springs back into shape, smiling at the sight, before leaning down to leave a kiss there…and there and there as you move down the column of his strong neck. You feel his large palms grip your hips and you move your kisses northward, along his jaw, to his mouth where he meets you, urges your mouth open to lick inside and explore. You pursue a deeper physical knowledge of him in return, giving as good as you’re getting, tongue dancing behind his teeth, cataloging every crevice, every bump and ridge, deciphering the taste of him as if he were a fine wine—notes of apple and coffee and his 5pm pour of whiskey and something uniquely him.

You feel his hands roaming, making their way to the front of your jeans, pushing the button through its hole and tugging down the zipper before stuffing his hand inside. He gives you a few firm strokes over your underwear, just to feel, to be so close, and you allow him to explore for a moment before you break your kiss to rest your forehead against his.

You shake your head softly when he attempts to move his hand beneath your cotton barrier and he stills his hand. “Not tonight,” you say quietly, “you first,” and you step back before sinking to your heels in front of him, grabbing the towel from in front of the bathtub and placing it under you before kneeling forward and meeting his eyes. His pupils are blown wide, mouth shiny and flushed with arousal, his chest and neck blushed a beautiful pink. You think he’s never more beautiful than when he’s about to get his cock worshiped by your reverential mouth.

You reach up and gently unfurl the towel from where it’s tucked at his waist, allowing the soft graze of your fingertips to lightly tickle the skin of his stomach, the muscles beneath contracting in their wake. You unwrap him like the gift he is, allowing the towel to open fully, exposing all of him to the room. You take in the sight of him, hard and drooling at the tip, thick thatch of curls nestled at the base, strong thighs parted to cradle you between them. You turn your head to the side and lay a kiss to the inside of his knee, up his thigh, right to the crease of his sensitive groin, before repeating the motion on the other side. You hear him groan and look up to find his head tipped back, already losing himself to his pleasure. You’ll never get over how easy he is for you, how much he clearly loves the way you love him. You repeat your favorite vow to whatever god is listening, to love him forever if they’ll be so gracious.

You reach up to grip the heavy weight of him in your palm, curling your fingers around him as much as you can, and give him a few gentle strokes, the velvety soft skin warm in your hand. You feel his pulse combine with your own as you glide your thumb along the veiny underside. A fresh drop of precum oozes from the tip and you’d be remiss to let it go untasted, leaning forward to meet the spongy head with the wet warmth of your tongue and lapping at it, thankful for its musky, salty gift. You’re sure at some point you’ve stepped out of your body because everything goes quiet as you taste and taste and taste him, lathing your tongue over and over the weeping head while your hand continues to stroke, kissing the very tip of him gently before trailing your lips along the length of him, down to the base and tonguing back to the top, mirroring your actions on the other side, lifting him to give attention underneath, not wanting to leave even a millimeter of him unfound by your mouth.

“God, baby, there you go, so good at this,” Joel’s praises bring your head back above water, but all you want to do is drown. And so you do. You flick your eyes up to meet his before opening your mouth wide and allowing the thick length of him inside, sliding him along your textured tongue, and closing your lips around him tightly. You hold him there for a moment, watching his face as you roll your tongue along the underside of his cock, sucking in a stuttered pattern, allowing the pillowy softness of your inner cheeks to hug him briefly, before pulling off and refilling your lungs. His eyes glisten just as yours do. He cups your face in his palm and you turn to kiss him there. He pushes his fingers into your hair and gently scritches at your scalp. You close your eyes and lean into the gesture before returning to prayer at your altar.

You take him as deep as your jaw will allow over and over, not caring for how messy things are getting as you continue the push and pull, saliva pooling on your tongue and dripping along his length, down the corners of your mouth, off your swollen lips and onto the towel below. You can hear him moaning with abandon now, knowing he’s loving this as much as you do. You tenderly roll his sac between your fingers and he tugs at your hair, so you continue your ministrations as you suck.

“Shit, baby, gonna make me cum,” he warns. You pull your mouth off him and continue to stroke him with your hand.

“Cum in my mouth. Please, want to taste you, want to, want to,” you stutter, mind focused solely on him, making him cum, easing him into blissful release. You open wide and take him back inside, closing your eyes and losing yourself to the feeling. You grab his other hand with your own, holding tight to each other as he helps guide your head exactly where he needs you. You suck and suck and suck until he grants you the prize you’ve eagerly anticipated, and he does it so beautifully. The sounds he releases from his throat resonate against the tiled floors and walls of the room, reverberating into your bones. His lashes fan and grace the tops of his cheeks where his eyes are squeezed tightly shut. His pillowy lips part, the plushness marred by his own teeth marks, bitten in an effort to not give too much of himself away too soon. He tastes so deliciously of man—clean, soapy, salty, musky—as he releases onto your tongue, into the back of your throat, and you make every effort to gracefully swallow everything he gives.

Once he’s finished, you softly suckle the last of your combined fluids from his length, ingesting them to become one together inside you. You leave a parting kiss to his length in thanks for all he’s given you before you allow Joel to haul you up to meet his mouth. He kisses you fiercely, tasting himself there. You know him almost as well as you know yourself, and you know he’s itching to return the favor, but you slow him, softening the kiss until the temperature returns to a simmer. He holds you there against his bareness, one arm keeping your head against his chest while the other strokes your back and you mirror him, fingers running gently all along his back. You feel more than hear when he speaks as it rumbles from his chest.

“Thank you, darlin’. Love you, more’n I thought was possible,” he says. You sigh and kiss his chest, wrap your arms around him tighter.

“Feeling’s mutual, my love. I promise,” you assure him, giving him a final squeeze before stepping back, keeping his hands in yours, not wanting to completely break contact with him just yet. “Come with me, we need to get you dressed.”

You lead him by the hand to your shared bedroom and sit him on the edge of the bed. You turn around and find the dresser where you keep a majority of your combined clothes—yours on the left, his on the right—and pull out a well worn tee and pair of grey sweatpants. You bring the clothes back over to him, setting the pants aside for the moment, and unfolding the t-shirt.

“Arms up, baby,” you instruct. He complies amusedly, raising his arms above his head while you drape him in soft cotton, paying careful attention to the collar, ensuring it’s stretched wide to not disturb his drying curls. Once the shirt is tugged down to cover his soft belly, you move to his pants, scrunching up one leg and feeding his foot through before repeating the motions with the other side. “Stand, please,” you request. He stands, allowing you to tug the waistband up over the swell of his ass, carefully pulling the material over his front to not accidentally overstimulate his now soft cock. You eye him up and down, nodding in approval of your handiwork. “Beautiful,” you say under your breath, not intending for him to hear, just for yourself.

Joel doesn’t remember the last time he felt this way—so deeply cared for. For as long as he can remember now, he’s been the provider, the protector. He hasn’t had a moment to slow down since before Sarah was born, 30 some odd years ago now. And it feels…nice. He feels small in some ways, but not diminished, never with you. No, he feels almost young again, experiencing this kind of selfless love that he’s only ever experienced before from a parent, and something clicks for him. He sees you near the hamper, changing out of your day clothes and into your own pajamas and he gets you, understands you on a deeper level than he had just hours before. He lets you finish your routine and make your way back over to him, anticipating you getting into bed, but instead he’s met with your hand reaching out for him. He takes it in his own, he’ll always take it when it’s so graciously offered.

“C’mon, let’s have a snack, worked up an appetite,” you say jovially. He snickers, thinking to himself that he fed you pretty well not 10 minutes ago, but he’d follow you to the ends of the Earth if it meant you’d keep smiling at him like that.

You lead him downstairs to the kitchen and sit him in his chair at the breakfast table he made just for you. While you putter around, preparing the two of you a small meal to share, he thinks about how beautiful you look in the morning light, the early sun catching on your hair and in your eyes. And you, you give the sun a run for its money with how you shine, bright and golden, warming everyone you come into contact with. You make it so easy for him to forget where you all are, when you are. Nothing is simpler than time spent with you. And now he knows you even better and he isn’t sure yet how he’ll quite thank you for that.

In what feels like just a blink, Joel watches as you plate a simple late evening dinner of eggs and toast for the two of you, an old favorite of Sarah’s, nothing sillier to a child than having breakfast food while the moon sits high in the sky. You bring the plates to the table and sit across from him. He hooks his foot around your ankle as soon as you’re settled.

“Thank you, sweetpea. You didn’t have to do all this,” Joel tells you as he accepts the proffered fork.

“I know,” you respond, stabbing a bite of your scramble with your own cutlery, “but I wanted to,” you finish simply, popping the eggs into your mouth with a smile. Joel returns your smile and digs in.

The two of you quickly polish off your plates, leaving nothing but the crumbs from the bread you’d baked a few days prior behind. Joel moves to clear the table and you allow him to, but join him at the sink, grabbing the dish towel from its place draped over the left half, falling into your regular routine—Joel washes, you dry.

“You know,” he starts, “I think I understand you even better now, after today.”

You turn to look at him with an amusedly confused face. “In what way?”

“You know how sometimes you ask me to be your “daddy” in bed? I love you and I would do almost anything for you, so I’ve never had a problem with it, and I love how it seems to make you feel, but I didn’t fully understand it before,” he pauses, giving you time to respond if you felt you needed to, and turns to see you’ve paused with plate in hand. He fully turns his body to face you now. “I think I get it now. The way you took care of me tonight? It was…almost parental? But it wasn’t at all at the same time. I think,” he tries again, “I think the only other time in my life I’ve experienced that kind of selfless…devotion, I guess…was from a parent. And obviously you’re not my parent, but…fuck, I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” he asks self-consciously, unable to meet your gaze.

You bring your fingers to his chin, lifting his eyes to meet yours before you speak. “You’re not fucking anything up. You’re right, that’s why I like it, why sometimes I need it. It’s the way you take care of me. You make me feel so incredibly safe, Joel,” you answer him.

Joel pulls you into his chest, gently rubbing your back. “It makes me so, so happy to hear that, my sweet starlight. Always want you to feel safe, loved, taken care of here.”

Your hands snake up the back of his shirt, needing to feel him closer, flesh on flesh. “The same goes for me, you know? If you ever need, or want…I want you to feel that way, too. I love taking care of you, too.”

Joel leans down and kisses the top of your head, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of you, wanting to solidify this memory for as long as his mind will allow him to hold it. He considers leaving the dishes in the sink to be tomorrow’s problem, wanting nothing more than to return to bed with you, but he knows he’ll be frustrated when the egg has glued itself to the pan and he has to really scrub to remove it. He reluctantly releases you from his embrace and turns back to the sink, washing the remaining plate before handing it to you to dry, and doing the same with the utensils and the old, salvaged steel pan.

Once you’re both satisfied with your work, you close down the kitchen in tandem, flicking off the lights and heading back to your room. You move to your respective sides of the bed—Joel going left, you going right—before climbing beneath the old, soft comforter. You’re both wiped from the day’s activities, opting to just turn the lights out rather than do your usual song and dance of reading for five minutes and falling asleep with the book splayed open on your chest, leaving Joel to gently dogear the page and set it on your bedside table before clicking off your lamp in fond exasperation. In the dark, you hear him shuffle, turning towards you.

“Hey, darlin’?” he asks, getting your attention.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Can you, umm, would you hold me tonight?”

“Of course I will. C’mere, my sweet boy,” you answer. Joel turns over again and shuffles back, allowing you to snake your arm over his torso and bury your face in his shoulders. He holds your arm in place and it feels…right, so nice and comforting and he gets it.

“Thank you. For everything. Never known a love like this, but you make it so easy. Not sure how I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

“Just stay, Joel,” you answer simply, “stay with me. That’s all I want, all I need.”

And he thinks he can do that. And he sends up his own prayer, his favorite vow, to whatever god is listening, to let him stay with you forever, to let him love you until his dying day, that they owe you that much at least, your simple wish. He’ll do whatever he can to ensure it comes true. And as he drifts into unconsciousness, held safely in your arms, he thinks he never wants to be anywhere else.

thank you for reading ♡ please reblog or leave a comment if you enjoyed!

#LJ writes #i've missed this old man #joel miller #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #tlou fic #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #the last of us smut #the last of us fluff #jackson!joel

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joelmama · 1 year

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The Fisherman's Wife | Oneshot

no-outbreak!AU, no-Ellie!AU (😞), (basically it's pretty much devoid of anything canon, I'm sorry 😭 I just was desperate to see Joel as a fisherman.)(also don't ask what time-period this is set in i have no clue)

pairing: fisherman!Joel, soft!Joel x afab!fem!Reader content: arranged marriage, angst, fluff, smut. summary: The free-spirited Reader is arranged to marry a divorced Fisherman named Joel Miller. And although she protested this at first, she soon wonders if maybe she could be happy with her new husband. word count: 28.2k (yeesh) warnings: NSFW 18+ - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. mentions of death, age-gap (reader is 27, Joel is 48), smut - oral (f receiving and m recieving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex, reader is inexperienced (meaning loss of virginity), lovesick Joel, and not beta'd! (if i left anything out please let me know :))

(oh and an obscene use of Y/N bc i write in third person 😩)

Ao3 Link

A/N: Hiii~!!! so usually I write fics for a completely different realm of content. but I haven't been able to continue my most recent fic bc this idea has been stuck in my mind for fricken weeks!!! and it wouldn't get out of my head until i actually wrote it down. TLOU has just been on my brain constantly these days i guess 🙄 (🥰). anyways i thought i'd write it, post it here, and then disappear back into my usual corner of the internet, never to be seen again 😈. i hope you enjoy my story!! ILY <3

Far out from the rainy coast of the Pacific Northwest, sat a small island, always caught in the throes of an aimless sea. It was called the Isle of Ardor. Named after the burning passion of love. It was a peculiar name for the island, as it was always embedded within dark, curling swirls of stormy rain clouds; As well as the sour emotions that came with the storm— provided, of course, by the residents of this Isle. So the island was often left without the feeling of love. Neglected, for lack of any other words. Far from the symbol of love that was known by the world.

Sure, there was the love that was bestowed by marriage, when a man first sets his sight on his arranged lover dressed in white. Or even love passed between a parent and a child, when a mother first hears the first laugh that tumbles out of her sweet childs lips. Or the fumbling platonic love that creates itself in whispered secrets during sleepovers between friends. But none of it was burning. None of it was passionate. It was a simple form of love. A perfect representation of the simple life that was often led on the Isle of Ardor. Despite its exciting name.

A more fitting name would perhaps be something more simple. Unembellished. Basic. Ordinary. Sturdy. Something to match the uniform march of the adults in this town, as they traveled along the cobblestone roads in early morning light. Headed towards their humdrum jobs that kept the economy of this island churning like a slow cog in the machine. Meanwhile, the children were taught about this monotonous life in school. Sat rigid in their seats, the stiff collar of their uniform scratching at their necks. Forced to listen, forced to learn that there was only one path for them to take. All signs pointed, roads led and everything suggested that these children— Just as their parents, and their grandparents— were destined for a life of simplicity.

It was the exact opposite of what Y/N wanted. She abhorred the idea of simple. She wanted excitement. Yearned for passion. Craved the burn of love that left scars on your heart and bruises on your lips.

Her wants and desperate needs were proven in the way she grew up. There wasn’t a day that went by where she wouldn’t step out of line. Her wrists would be sore from the snap of her teacher's ruler. Her ears would grow tired of the constant reprimand from her father. And her knees would bleed freely from the times she would escape the horrid monotony of life, out into the nature beyond. But the island was small, and her feet could only take her so far, so she would always easily be caught. She would return home with her sore wrists, tired ears and bloody knees, and sit by her bedroom window, hoping for something greater to take her away.

It never came.

Eventually, she grew older. She matured, and she learned how to stay in line. For the most part. But as she aged, her tongue grew sharper with wit, and she soon often got in trouble for using words that could rival a sailor’s. By the time she was of marriageable age, no one on the island wanted anything to do with her. This all of course was to the dismay of her father. Who at this point thought that he would never be rid of his rambunctious daughter.

He loved her with all of his beating heart, of course. But on the Isle of Ardor, all fathers wanted the same thing for their daughters. By the age of eighteen, they wanted their girls to find a satisfactory suitor to take care of them so that the fathers didn't have to worry as they faded into their old age.

By now, all of Y/N’s classmates were already married. While at the age of twenty-seven due to her wild nature, no one had brought any offers to their household for her hand in marriage. Her father grew weaker and weaker as worry settled into his bones.

Y/N on the other hand was ecstatic by her lack of prospects. Being a spinster meant she didn’t have to worry about some silly husband, wife or partner she didn’t truly care about. If people thought she was crazy? So be it. It was all worth it for the price of her freedom.

And now as she had no other burden brought on by school or a job, she would oftentimes be found by the raging ocean. Her toes deep in the blackened sand, skin salted by the sea and her hair tangled by the mischievous winds. And this is exactly where she was the minute she found out about the news that would tear her world apart.

Her father had found her a suitor.

The news was brought to her by the young messenger boy who would carry the most recent word of mouth with him on his rusty bicycle. Her father had flagged him down, offering a bill or two to find his daughter and bring her home immediately to meet the man she was destined to marry.

The poor boy. He didn’t deserve to be met with the rage of a mad woman, but that was what he stumbled across when the news of her arranged marriage escaped from between his lips. At the sight, he suddenly understood why she was considered the town spinster. She was angered and chaotic, screaming into the wind when his words finally registered. She looked like a feral animal, the way she gnashed her teeth, yelling about the unfairness of it all.

Him being no older than ten years old, couldn’t really understand why she was so upset about this news. She mumbled a few things— Something about her loss of freedom and self expression. But it was all very strange. He was used to the usual reaction from young women whenever they heard the news of their engagement. They were always… ecstatic. Squealing like pigs as they clutched onto their nearest friend, family member or even just a stranger. Or if they were unhappy with the prospect of marriage— just as Y/N was now— they were always able to hold their tongue until they were alone.

Her reaction was all just very… strange. Very different.

And different, it was. She now sat, stewing in her anger, refusing to even spare a glance towards her future husband.

A celebratory dinner, made carefully and happily by her aunt, sat on the wooden table stretched between them. It was all the distance she needed to ignore the man she was meant to be betrothed to. But even though she could avert her gaze, there was no getting past listening in on the conversation that flitted between this man and her family members.

She had learned that he lived on the other side of the island. So now it made sense that she didn’t recognize his surname when the messenger boy first told it to her. She barely got to know the names of her neighbors, let alone those on the windward side.

He was known as Joel Miller, only learning his first name when her father greeted him at the beginning of the evening, with a sturdy handshake at their front door, the casual name falling from his tongue as they exchanged niceties. As she stood behind her father’s shoulder, she refused to look at him even then, her eyes steady on the toes of her boots.

Now at the table, the topic of his occupation also arose during the conversation. He spoke of his adventures out at sea, and what he encountered in his life as a fisherman.

Typical. A fisherman. The most sought out job on this island as they were mainly considered as gods since they provided the island with prosperous amounts of food and good fortune. The people that held the title of ‘fishermen’ were always the most sought after when it came to marriage. Y/N wondered how her father was able to find a man like that for her.

But as the dinner went on, the secret was soon revealed. Because she soon learned that his wife had left him. Many years ago, late in the night as a stowaway on a cargo ship headed towards the mainland. The only thing worse than a spinster was a man whose wife had left him. And now the puzzle pieces were fitting together.

They were a match made in heaven. The crazy woman and the unwanted man.

Y/N felt nothing but sympathy for his first wife. Surely, she was just the same as she. The only reason a woman would leave her partner was if she yearned for freedom beyond the tassels of marriage. Maybe eventually, Y/N would make the score two for two. Leave him behind just as his first wife did. The thought brought an overwhelming onslaught of anticipation that burned within the girl's core.

But she had to be patient. She couldn’t just leave him when all eyes were narrowed in on their engagement. The whispers on the street all revolved around her, and how she was finally able to snag a man after all these years. Even more speculation was offered when they found out who the man was. Apparently these two were a circus act around the Isle of Ardor. A horrific accident that none of the residents could tear their eyes from.

Maybe that’s why their wedding was so crowded.

A few weeks had past, and she had yet to grant the man with her gaze. All she knew of his looks was the quick glimpse of silver she saw scattered amongst the brown in his hair, and the hard set of his jawline, clenched in an anger that seemed to always be present. So as she walked down the aisle, her fingers clenched around a wilting bouquet of daisies, she kept her eyes pointed towards the horizon that lingered in the distance.

Traditional Ardorian weddings were always held in the same place. On the cliffside, hanging over the tempestuous sea that always danced near the shores of the Isle. The same clergyman, performed the same ceremony, spoke the same gentle words every single time. She has been to countless versions of this very same wedding throughout the duration of her life. Though, she never thought that it would be her who was forced to stand under the wedding arch. Especially in her late-mothers wedding gown, in front of the entirety of the small town that sat on the coast of Ardor.

The most surprising part of it all was when she exchanged her ‘I do’s’ effortlessly and without any complaint.

Maybe that was what also surprised most of the wedding-goers, as they began to whisper to one another. The crowd seemed disappointed, almost as if they expected a spectacle from the woman they deemed a recluse. From the rumors they’ve already heard through the grapevine, maybe they were expecting her to grow reckless with abandon. To stomp her feet and scream out to the gods. So when they were met with this quiet, timid version of the woman, who spoke her vows with no contradiction, they all stood and left the wedding. Completely missing out on the part when the man was told to kiss his bride. Which he didn’t even do.

A very strange wedding indeed.

It all came to a head when the man called Joel finally brought his new wife towards the threshold of their (used) marital home. It was a few hours after the ceremony, and usually this part of the evening was paired with bright, eager smiles as newly-weds were finally allowed to consummate their love. However, as we already know with this couple, the night went very differently than the norm that is usually presented.

As soon as he had unlocked the door for his established home, the woman stormed through the front entrance, her eyes darting around each corner as she took in each aspect of her new home. Trying to find something to dislike. But it was an agreeable home. Comfortable and cluttered with trinkets that must’ve meant a great deal to the man. It was… interesting. So after finding nothing she could truly complain about, and be the disastrous wife she planned to be, she whipped towards him in an unexpected flurry, her arms folding across her chest.

Her eyes finally landed on him for the very first time. And she stilled.

He was older. Much older. But she already knew that from the information she learned from her father. What she didn’t know was how good age looked on the man. He was handsome... And so much larger than she had thought. His shoulders were wide, emphasized as he stood in the doorway. His hands looked strong and calloused, obviously capable of working against the aggression brought forth by an unforgiving sea.

Then there were the features she had only caught glimpses of, but yet she was overly familiar with— due to the flashes of her memory that blared across the dark of her eyelids whenever she tried to sleep. His brown curls were unruly across his forehead, despite his attempt to manage them with gel, most likely trying to look put together for the wedding. They were painted with faint hues of gray, evidence of the twenty-some years he had against her.

Her eyes tugged towards his familiar jawline. Strong— just as she remembered. But it wasn’t clenched in anger, or anything else of the sorts. His features were molded in a form that looked to be like curiosity. Maybe this was the first real look he had of her as well…

That’s when she met the deep brown irises of his eyes. The sight of which was a drastic contrast of anything else she had known of him. They were almost… warm and forgiving, bordered by the faint outline of crows feet, formed over the years. His gaze was soft in the way he considered her features and dragged over the curves of her body. So different from the harsh lines of the rest of his body.

She held her arms tighter against her form. Feeling vulnerable under his stare.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting to happen…” Y/N finally spoke the first words she ever said to the man who was considered to be her husband, “But I can assure you that it’s not what you’re thinking.”

The man simply stared at her, his eyebrows raising at her words. She took a step back as he took a step inside, but felt foolish as he only did so to turn around and shut the front door behind him. The familiar sea breeze now lost to them.

When he turned back around, he spoke the first words he ever said to the woman who was considered to be his wife.

“I wasn’t expectin’ anything.” He replied, his sentence simple and his accent faded.

She had heard his voice before. When he was speaking to her father and reciting his vows. But now that it was directed towards her, it finally dawned on her how deep it was. How it rumbled through his chest in such a way that it settled deep within Y/N’s bones.

She was perturbed by the sensation. So much so that her next argument was lost on her tongue.

“Follow me.” He said, in the absence of her words.

Since there wasn’t much left to do, she did just that. The small house shifted under the weight of their footfalls as they ascended up the creaky stairs. Y/N’s eyes were trained on the sight of his broad back, taking up so much space as he ventured through the hallways of this two-story home.

Her eyes were soon torn away from his form as she took in the decor of the rest of his— their house. It matched what she saw downstairs. Everything was nautical themed, something common within the homes that littered this island. But the way this house was decorated was different. Instead of the manufactured ocean aesthetic that Y/N was used to, everything about this house was… natural. The way she felt in this house felt exactly how she felt on the beaches that ringed around this tiny island. She never thought she’d ever meet anyone who was able to capture the essence of the natural world so effortlessly. She began to soften, similar to what she felt when she saw that look in his brown eyes.

She squared her shoulders against the thought, forcing her resolve back to the forefront of her mind. This was the last place she wanted to be. She had to remind herself of that.

“This is your room.” Joel muttered in that deep voice of his, stopping at a door sat at the end of the hall. His large hand twisting the golden doorknob, it swung open as he pushed against the wood.

“My room?” Y/N questioned, as she stood on her tiptoes, staring into the confines that were now revealed from over Joel’s shoulder. She took in the sight of a wrought-iron bed, a vanity and a wardrobe built out of dark-stained wood. Furniture to call her own for the first time.

“Your’s.” He nodded in confirmation. And then he stepped aside, letting her venture further into the room. She breathed in the fresh air that was granted by the windows that still stood open against either wall, crickets calling through the crevices, seeping in from the dark of the night.

She ran a hand over the handmade quilt that covered the mattress, cool against her palm, unslept in for months— maybe years.

The floorboards squeaked under her feet as she turned quickly towards where Joel was standing. But the doorway was empty. Her words of gratitude fell flat against the air now that there was no one to direct them to.

He must’ve snuck off as she was admiring the room, assuming she wanted to be left alone. Which she did. But no one had ever respected her privacy before. She definitely wasn’t expecting the courtesy from the man she was forced to marry.

A weird feeling wormed its way into Y/N’s heart, one she had never felt before. She chose to ignore it as she plopped onto the mattress, springs squeaking under her weight, staring at the vacant space where Joel once stood.

Weeks passed by, and neither one of the newlyweds tried to make any contact with one another as they resided in their separate bedrooms.

Since Y/N was now destined to be a doting housewife, no one had any expectations for her beyond the household she currently lived in. And since Joel was avoiding her just as much as she was him, it was easy to dismiss his heavy footfalls that rang out against the house in the early hours of the morning. All she had to do was wait until they faded off the steps of the front porch, and then she was free to roam the house that was now half hers.

Though after her exploring was finished, most of her days were spent in the garden, overgrown from lack of maintenance, but Y/N happened to like it that way. She was elated to find it, as she stood on the precipice of the backyard that very first morning. And now Y/N could be found curled on the antiquated porch swing that sat among the weeds, a book cradled in her lap, stolen from the office she also discovered on her second day of living with her new husband.

However, as she relaxed in the garden, sun shining over every inch of her exposed skin, guilt would soon riddle her bones. It was another feeling she wasn’t used to. But now that she was married and now that she knew that Joel wasn’t the horrible intrusive husband she thought he would be, she decided he deserved to come home to a warm meal. So eventually— after a few of her days spent basking in the sun, the guilt becoming too much— she would one day venture to the market nearest their marital home and pick up ingredients to make the man some dinner after his long day at the docks.

She would never actually eat with him, of course— only leaving the homemade food in a ceramic pot stationed in the middle of the kitchen table. But she hoped her gesture proved enough that she wasn’t exactly angered by his newfound presence in her life.

Despite the fact that she still planned on her escape.

It was obvious that Joel wasn’t a bad husband. And of course, that brought pause to the woman. She wondered what exactly it was that drove his first wife to leave him when he wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought. But the mystery still couldn’t counter with the fact that Y/N was desperate for her freedom, and desperate for a love that would set her heart on fire. Surely she couldn’t find that sort of thing on this tiny insignificant island. She had to escape. Didn’t she?

The topic stayed constant on her mind as she perused the books in Joel’s tiny library (library being a generous term, it was actually just one shelf tucked in the corner of his office). One day, in the living room, she even stumbled upon a great big atlas that Joel had left behind, turned open on a page that showcased an image of the world. All the little squiggles and lines that made up the map of their great big earth, her soulmate must have resided within one of those faraway places. He couldn’t have been so close, on the tiny dot that represented the Isle of Ardor, it seemed impossible.

Now lost in thought about chances and percentages, the young woman paid no mind to the time that passed as she flipped through the large pages of the atlas. The sun was dipping low beneath the horizon, painting the skies with pinks, and oranges. She had yet to even make dinner when Joel had walked through the front door.

She stood quickly from her spot on the couch. As a habit, her tongue fumbled through the words that would leave her mouth whenever her father would return from work.

“Welcome home.”

Joel paused in the doorway. His brows furrowed in confusion since by this time the woman was usually found locked in her bedroom. And typically, when one welcomes you home, you’re supposed to reply with some form of gratitude, at least this was custom to the Isle of Ardor. But Joel was at a loss for words. To have his new wife, ready and expectant of him was unfamiliar. Especially since she had granted no interest in him for the past few weeks.

“I forgot to make dinner.” She told him, seemingly desperate to fill the silence. Her tone was soft with apprehension, she looked like a timid little rabbit. “I’m sorry.”

Taking in her words, and the sight of her— chest heaving as she stood by the couch, almost as if she were caught in the act of something despicable— Joel soon realized that this was all an accident. He wasn’t meant to find her like this. She had only gotten lost within whatever activity she was currently indulging herself in.

He caught sight of the atlas he left on the couch late last night. It was there since he was currently making plans for his upcoming fishing trip, but it was quickly forgotten once the threat of sleep had forced him to make his way back towards his bedroom. Was that what she was looking at? His lips parted with even more realization, if that was the case. He had a sneaking suspicion why she would be interested in a book like that. But he wasn’t about to ask her any incriminating questions.

“That’s alright.” He breathed, shutting the door behind him and foregoing any accusations he could potentially throw her way. “I can make something.”

“No, please.” She begged, as if guilt forced her back into the role of a doting wife. “You’ve had a long day. Allow me.”

She moved through the small living room of the house in long strides, headed towards the kitchen. She was determined to be the good wife she promised to be when she made her vows. Even if it was a lie at the time. Even if it still was as she planned for her escape.

As she brushed past Joel, her wrist was suddenly encased in a pool of unexpected warmth. His calloused fingers were wrapped firmly against her skin. In the month that they had been married, this was the first time he had ever touched her. Her heart lodged itself in her throat. Her gaze shifted so that she was staring wide-eyed up at her husband.

“Let me help you.” He murmured, his own eyes pleading her for something she was unsure of.

“Okay.” She whispered, nodding her head slightly, since there was nothing else she could do.

Now here they were, standing in their humble kitchen, stove hot and burning as they both stood over the swirling pot of spices, vegetables and fish. This form of intimacy was unfamiliar to them. It was the closest they’ve been in weeks, and it felt far more vulnerable than it did when they stood across the aisle as they spoke their vows. Joel’s hand was gripped harshly against the wooden spoon as he stirred the contents of their stew. Y/N’s fingers were latched onto the salt shaker, her eyes trained on the little grain of bitter crystal that was lodged in one of the holes.

“Here.” Joel practically whispered, holding up the spoon for his wife to taste. She glanced up at him through her lashes, hesitantly, before slowly leaning forward.

Her supple lips formed around the wood as she slurped at its contents. Joel shivered at the sight. He knew that his new wife was pretty, but seeing as she took his requests so willingly, was a sight to behold. Her lips seemed so plush, and the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she blew cold air across his offered taste, almost had him down on his knees. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed harshly against his dry throat, mind littered with filthy innuendos.

“How’s it taste?” He asked, his voice strained, forcing away the provocative thoughts that forged to the front of his mind.

Her brows furrowed in concentration as she held the flavor on her tongue. But soon a small grin flickered across her features. Joel’s stomach dipped at the sight. A feeling he hadn’t felt in years— maybe decades... maybe ever.

“It’s good.” She replied, wrapping her own smaller fingers around Joel’s hand as she brought the spoon up for a second taste. The touch of her hand was a shock, to say the least. It was only their second instance of skin contact and yet it was so much different than before. Only because it was her that was touching him. Willingly— no, purposefully. Embarrassingly enough, the surprise of it all was somehow too much for the older man. The spoon slipped from his grasp, clattering against the tile, splashing stew across the lower half of the surrounding cabinets, as well as the long hem of Y/N’s skirt. Joel took a large step back, the heat of shame licking up his neck to the tips of his ears.

“Sorry— I— Sorry.” He stammered, finishing his words somewhat lamely. He felt like a shy little school boy, he couldn’t even meet her gaze. It was humiliating.

That was until he heard the sound of her laughter. Soft and tinkling, with no hint of malice. She wasn’t laughing at him, she wasn’t even laughing with him. It was more like she was laughing at the entire situation, or maybe at nothing in particular. He finally braved a glance up at her, to see those supple lips curled into a bright smile. His heart lurched at the sight.

She didn’t say anything. Didn’t acknowledge his fumbling apology, instead she shook her head slightly, rolling up the sleeves of her sweater, a smile still apparent on her face as she got to her knees and began to clean up the mess. She didn’t even worry about the splotches of blooming red that was scattered across the white fabric of her pretty skirt. She let it stain. Lasting proof of the very first dinner they shared as man and wife.

He served it up in heaping spoonfuls. Steam lazily swirling up from the hot meal, confined in ceramic bowls that Joel had pulled from the cabinets. After Y/N’s laughter had faded from the air, the only sound that graced their ears was that of spoons scraping against the stoneware as they savored their last bites.

No words were spoken as they sat at the kitchen table. And the woman couldn’t decide if it was awkward or not. She was never one to be deterred by the presence of silence, but she was curious if the man who now sat across from her was.

Not that he was a man of many words. He was silent in the very way he lived. His actions were always careful and well thought out. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t heard of him before their betrothal. You don’t turn the cogs of the rumor mill if you keep to yourself. Which is what Joel seemed to do.

So maybe he liked the silence. Y/N decided she did as well.

Though it was finally broken when they stood at the kitchen sink, Joel was washing the dishes while Y/N dried— All serenaded by the sound of running water and clanking utensils. That was all it was until his words filtered in through the white noise.

“I’m leavin’ tomorrow.” He told her, eyes trained on the tiny soap bubbles attaching themselves to the skin of his hands. They were iridescent in their color. The distraction of it left the furrow between Y/N’s brows unknown. She wondered where on earth he could possibly be going. But the question was soon answered as he continued.

“It’s the first fishin’ trip of the season. Gonna be gone for a week or two.” He explained. Her mouth formed around a silent ‘ah’ as understanding dawned on her.

Fishing expeditions were always a big spectacle in this little town. Caught in glimpses on her way to school, Y/N always observed the teary-eyed farewells passed between the fishermen and their families. Hands up in the air in enthusiastic waves of goodbye as the ship drew further out to sea, becoming a small insignificant dot and then turning into nothing against the horizon.

She liked the return days far better. They always seemed much happier when loving arms wrapped around trembling shoulders, a warm embrace to signify how grateful the fishermen were to be brought home safe and unharmed. It was one of the few times this island lived up to its name.

And now the woman was left wondering if Joel expected her to become one of the teary-eyed family members waiting down by the docks.

“What time are you leaving?” She asked, carefully setting down the bowl that resided in her hands, it clinked against the wooden countertop.

“Early.” He replied, his large fingers hooking around the faucet lever, shutting off the constant stream of water. In its absence, the silence was louder and the same could be said of that deep voice of his. “Don’t worry. I’ll try not to wake you when I leave.”

So now the question was answered. He didn’t expect anything from her. Just like he said that very first night. It was still a foreign concept for her. She wasn’t sure if she truly believed it.

Though the belief finally found her when she woke up late the next morning, the sun deep in the sky, shining bright over her bed and warming her skin. She laid there for a minute, staring up at the ceiling as she considered the quiet state of the house. It was silent now more than ever. Left without the sound of Joel’s familiar footsteps as well as a final goodbye.

The time spent alone in the little house was surprisingly dreary.

At first— once the realization that she had the house to herself settled in, the woman was ecstatic. She had never been left to her own devices before. Usually she would have to cheat her way out of the ever-present company of her family, just for five minutes of precious solitude. Now she had hours of it— days of it. It was exhilarating. It was freeing. It was… lonely.

And maybe just a little bit scary, as she curled under her sheets at night, unable to explain away the creaks that filtered in from under her door now that Joel was gone.

Joel.

The absence of him presented Y/N with the unexpected discovery that he was a form of comfort that surrounded the walls of this house. Almost as if he were the protector of this hearth. And now that he was gone, the little noises she heard at night shifted into dark threatening creatures within the confines of Y/N’s overactive imagination.

She cursed herself for her sudden lack of backbone.

However, the daytime was somehow worse. Because at least during the night, her fear would soon subside once the calming tendrils of sleep coaxed Y/N back into her dreams. But during the day, when she was sitting on that squeaky porch swing, boredom would be the next thing to burden her. And there was nothing she could do to alleviate herself from it.

There were only so many books in Joel’s collection. Only so many rooms that were left to explore (excluding the master bedroom of course). And only so many activities that she could think to do to distract herself. So as she sat there aimlessly, swinging back and forth under a late afternoon sun, it dawned on her that she was most entertained when navigating this new delicate life that she shared with Joel.

Which eventually brought her to the greater realization that it wasn’t fear or boredom that caused the ache that burned low in her stomach. No, it was the fact of the matter that she had simply missed Joel. One might describe that ache as yearning. But Y/N would definitely not be the one to do so. So she ignored the feeling.

She ignored it until it was replaced with the growing buzz of anticipation when the day of Joel’s return finally arrived.

Excited whispers were passed from mouth to ear as everyone spoke about the ship's return. Y/N had caught a conversation while perusing the pitted-fruits at the market, relaying the information that the boat was set to dock later that evening. And as she quickly returned the contents that resided in her basket— replacing it with enough ingredients for a meal made for two rather than one— Y/N wondered if she was perhaps sharing in the excitement that took over the small island.

Which would be very odd, for she never once felt united with her fellow townspeople, and she could hardly believe that she was excited to see the man she was forced to marry. Though the oddest thing was, (and this was still unbeknownst to the young woman herself) was that she hadn’t thought of her underlying desire to escape, whatsoever. Not even once while she was left alone for the past two weeks, which by all means would have been the perfect time to plan her getaway. But the notion was completely lost to her mind as she hurriedly made her way back home so that she could start on dinner.

It was a sight to behold.

Later that evening, as Joel stood in the entranceway, limbs overtired from his harsh venture out to sea, he thought he was hallucinating. The last thing he expected when he walked through that door was to be met with the image of his wife, looking oh-so pretty in a light blue dress, waiting eagerly by a table full of food. The whole scene of it was washed in a golden light from candles set across the room. It was set to look like a dream. Was he dreaming?

He had thought their dinner the night before he left would be the last one. In fact, he had thought that would be the last time he'd ever see her.

Joel wasn’t an oblivious man. He knew how she felt about this whole arrangement. It was obvious in the way she would avoid looking at him when they had first met. And even if he couldn’t see the hatred she harbored for him within her irises, the woman wore her heart on her sleeve. He could see her indignation in the way she huffed around the house and stomped her way into the garden. Which was all made much more confusing when she started leaving him hot meals after his work was finished by the dock. He didn’t anticipate such a kind gesture from her.

She was a mystery. But he supposed she leaned more towards the side of completely hating his guts as she was still bent on avoiding him those first couple of weeks into their marriage.

Not that he could blame the woman. He only said yes to her father’s proposition because the man looked so desperate. He was practically down on his knees. And Joel couldn’t say he wasn’t enticed by the idea of not having to return to an empty home any longer.

But Joel wasn’t attached to the idea of their marriage.

So if she wanted to avoid him, he would grant her the space she needed. If she wanted to huff at him in anger whenever their paths did cross, he would take the onslaught. And if she wanted to escape into the night, never to be heard from again, who was he to try and stop her?

In the meantime, he would enjoy the meals she left for him.

Then came the night when she decided to share it with him. Sure, it was an accident. And the entire encounter was fumbling and awkward. But it sparked a small bout of warmth deep within his chest.

He supposed that feeling was hope. Or at least that was the conclusion he came to as he was rocked to sleep by the ebbing waves underneath his ship. He had felt hope before, it’s been a long time, but he knew what it was. That’s all it could ever be. But what was he hoping for?

Hope that this could be something more than a marriage certificate? Hope that she would stick around, at least for a few more weeks? Hope that he would see her face amongst the crowd as their ship pulled back into the dock?

When he didn’t see her, the warmth was lost to him. And in its absence that’s when he knew that’s exactly what it was. Without that flame of hope, he was now shrouded in darkness just like he knew his house would be when he returned under the setting sun.

So he was not expecting this. Not at all.

“You’re here.” He said, the words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them. A little line appeared between her two brows as confusion riddled her features.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked, head tilting with the question.

“I don’t know. I just… thought that maybe you’d be gone.” He replied, shaking his own head slightly as he admitted his suspicion out loud.

Busted.

Y/N’s shoulders tensed as the words hung in the air between them. She should have known that he’d catch on to her plans, she wasn’t usually the type to be subtle with her grievances. But there was a twinge in her stomach at his admittance. The one thing he expected of her was exactly the one thing she wanted. And he would’ve let it happen. The hidden honesty in his words coerced the same thing from her own lips.

“I thought the same thing.” She confessed, a small bashful smile forming on her lips. The corners of Joel's mouth twitched up into a fleeting smile. It was gone within seconds. But the gleam of it still shone within the depths of his brown irises.

Then he offered her a small understanding nod. And that was all that was needed. The flame of hope flickered on.

They both took their seats and ate the homemade dinner in comfortable silence.

The same fragile routine had now taken place every night since then. As soon as Joel would return home from the docks, he would be greeted by the sight of Y/N chopping up the chosen vegetable for that night. If he came home early enough, there would still be certain tasks that needed to be finished, and she never complained when he would step in beside her with freshly washed hands— the sleeves of his flannel rolled further up his forearms— ready to help.

He liked those times the most. There was something serene in the way they moved around the kitchen together, as if they were living proof of perfect harmony. So most days, Joel would finish the menial tasks at work as quickly as he possibly could to return home before she finished cooking. He was greedy for more of these interactions to hold under his belt. And he would always be slightly disappointed whenever he found the table already set. Though that grievance wouldn’t last long as he was soon greeted by Y/N’s smile, that seemed to be getting brighter with each passing day.

Unfortunately for Y/N, she was not granted with the same reassurance.

As it turns out, Joel was a brick wall of a man, which was a fact he was completely unaware of. So his expressions of contentedness were lost on the woman. She wasn’t observant enough to notice how he would return home from work earlier and earlier each day. Or to catch on to the way his eyes would linger on her while they silently ate their dinner.

What she did notice was how he never smiled. It was as if he never learned how to. Maybe he had been a sad little baby from the moment he was born. Or perhaps he did know how to smile, and he just never had a reason to. Not even now. Not even with her.

Which, to be honest, was a punch in the gut for the young woman, since she had been finding so much joy during the times they shared together.

She tried to be rational, because Joel had always been a very unemotional man. But Y/N’s brain always kicked into overdrive whenever she was left alone with her thoughts, and it always boiled down to the conclusion that perhaps Joel just didn’t like her very much.

Oh, how the tables have turned. One minute she detested the man she was betrothed to and in the next she lapped up any attention he had gifted her like a small pathetic puppy. She was desperate to know more about the man. What was it that made him smile? Who was he? What were his interests? What was he like as a child?

And why on earth would his first wife ever leave him?

She had found out the answer to that— as well as caught her first glimpse of the surprising range of his emotions— all in the same night.

There was a storm that evening. Dark and unrelenting as the onslaught of rain pounded against the roof of their quaint little house. Big bolts of lighting hung low in the sky, illuminating the world in small fractions of time. The thunder rolling deep on its heel.

Joel was hours late. The dinner that sat on the table was ice cold. Though that fact was unnoticed by the woman, as she paced the distance of the kitchen, her bones wracked with worry. This was the perfect example of how her mind kicked into overdrive in times of distress. She assumed the worst.

She imagined Joel dead, left unbreathing, body lost under treacherous waves.

Panic quickened the beat of her heart. Any efforts she made to calm herself fell flat. Reason and rationality were lost to her completely. All she could do was to keep moving her feet.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

Until her feet took her further. Soft footsteps rang out against the floor of the living room and then up the stairs. They paced the length of the hallway a few times until the woman found herself stationed in front of the door to the master bedroom.

Her hand had somehow found itself gripped around the cool metal of the doorknob.

When she twisted it, the door swung open with ease.

It was easy for Y/N to dismiss her worries when it was replaced by a burning curiosity. She stood at the precipice of his bedroom, eyes flickering over every surface.

There was a large bed that sat in the middle of the room, left untidy by the man who stumbled out of it early that morning. The image of his large form tangled in the sheets flickered to the front of her mind, before she forced herself to focus on the next part of the room.

There was a bay window, looking out over the back garden. The bench underneath it was adorned with countless throw pillows, a detail that must have been added by his previous wife. Joel didn’t seem to be the type to appreciate that type of decor. A weird surge of jealousy was added to the other emotions she was already riddled with that evening. It burned bright behind her sternum.

But then her gaze roamed over the bookshelf that towered over the rest of the room. It resided next to a door, but what could potentially be hidden behind it wasn’t what had her feet moving deeper into the room. (Since it was most likely a bathroom, anyways.)

It was a picture.

Sat on one of the middle shelves of the bookshelf. It was framed in an intricate engraved pattern of gold-painted wood, a happy memory captured in black and white.

Frozen in time was the image of a young girl— most likely not even reaching double digits in her age. Her smile was bright and somewhat stubborn as she grinned up at her from the frame. She had dark skin and soft eyes that reminded the woman of Joel. Her hair framed her face in disorderly curls, tousled by the seabreeze. Y/N smiled softly at the wild look that sparked in the girl's irises, as if ready for any adventure that would be thrown her way. She ran a finger over the smooth glass, like she could caress the girl's face in her own hands.

“What are you doing?”

It wasn’t the words themselves that caused the woman to drop the picture, but rather the rage that was intertwined within them. Her eyes snapped up to find Joel standing in the door, backlit from the light in the hallway. His brown hair was matted against the skin of his forehead, soaked by the heavy rain. The rest of it dripped off of his clothes as they clung to his skin, creating a puddle around his boot-clad feet.

The glass of the frame shattered once it hit the floor.

“Who told you, you could come in here?” He seethed, reaching her in just a few long strides. She cowered against the bookshelf in his advancement but the collision never came. He bent towards the ground, large hands shifting through the broken glass.

“I-I’m sorry.” Y/N stammered, dropping down to help him. He pushed her hands away.

“Don’t.” He snapped.

“Why would you do this?” He then added, his words were harsh. He looked up at her, his eyes were dark with his wrath. A small pathetic sound squeaked out of her throat, she shook her head, unable to find the words.

And then the next thing she knew, she was running. Was it the anger that caused her to run? Or perhaps her own embarrassment. She didn’t know. But the sudden invasion of his unconventional display of emotion had become all too much. The same feet that carried her towards the master bedroom brought her out into the garden.

Y/N barely realized where she was until she registered the harsh rain that bombarded her skin, her hair and clothes instantly soaked as she ventured out among the overgrown weeds. Her legs didn’t stop until her palms wrapped around the familiar wood of the porch swing she spent so much of her time with. Her shoulders shook with shame, cursing herself inwardly for her intrusiveness.

And then… Somehow, through the howling wind, Y/N had heard her name.

She whipped her head towards the house to see that Joel had followed her. He charged through the storm, through the vegetation that whipped wildly in the wind, until he reached her. She expected more of his anger.

Instead she was met with two large hands cupping her cheeks.

“Are you hurt?” He asked over the raging of the storm, before she could make any questions of her own.

“I— what?” She faltered, her hands instinctively moving up to caress the skin of his wrists.

“Are you alright?” He repeated himself with new words, his brown eyes flickering over each feature of her face, as if he was making sure each part of her was still there.

“It’s only rain. Of course I’m alright.” She answered, a bit impatiently. Did he really think so little of her and her competence?

“You certain?” He asked, and that’s when Y/N took notice of the panic that resided in his brown irises. His breathing was dissonant and in a sense, frightened. This was something else entirely.

“Joel.” She said her tone shifted drastically from annoyance to something much softer. But his movements were still frantic as he searched her for any injuries.

“Joel!” She said again, louder this time, hoping to gain his attention. When she didn’t, Y/N tightened her grip around the wrist of his right hand, and shifted it towards her beating heart. She hoped he could feel the proof of her life that thrummed against the skin of her chest.

The evidence of her heartbeat calmed Joel down, his breathing evened out.

“I’m fine.” She murmured, tilting her chin to kiss the palm of his left hand. She was unsure of what brought her to do it, but it seemed to help as Joel then pulled her into his chest, his strong arms wrapping around her shoulders. He sighed once he felt her weight against him.

“I’m alright.” She reiterated into his soaked flannel. His arms wound tighter around her.

And then they were back inside. To her objection, he had made her take a shower, to extinguish any chill that the rain might have instilled in her bones. She almost got away with not taking one until her chattering teeth proved her otherwise. He had given her such a demanding look that she had no other choice but to do as he said.

So once she was showered and dressed in warm pajamas, (and once he did the same). They were now sitting in the living room. Her knees were curled up to her chest as she sat on the couch, Joel’s feet were solid against the patterned rug that sat beneath them, in an armchair angled directly in front of her. Their usual silence had found them again. Was it comfortable or not? Y/N had yet to find out. Joel broke it before she could.

“I’m sorry.” He told her, his cheeks pink with shame and his eyes averted to the ground. She shook her head in defiance to his apology, even though she knew he couldn’t see her.

“No, it was my—” She tried to counter. But he pursed his lips, causing her to promptly keep her mouth shut.

“I shouldn’t’ve yelled at you like that.” He said after a brief pause.

“It was well deserved.” Y/N admitted, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. “I shouldn’t have entered your room.”

Joel shook his head the same way she did, only slightly, but Y/N caught it.

“It was about time, anyways.” He commented. She resisted the urge to pry for more, cause she knew that eventually he would indulge in her curiosities. And he did.

“She was my daughter.” He murmured, knuckles white from his grip on the arms of the plush leather chair he was sitting upon.

“The girl. In the picture.” Joel clarified when he was met with her silence. But Y/N already knew that. Her silence to his explanation was due to the word he used. Was.

She repeated it out loud, in the form of a question.

A sigh escaped Joel's lips, he leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees. He still wouldn’t meet Y/N’s gaze.

“Do you remember that storm twelve years ago?” Joel questioned, his palm running over his forehead as he prepared himself to tell this story. Y/N responded with a soft ‘yes.’ It was a horrible, outrageous storm that caused so much damage to their little town. So much loss and heartache that hung over the island, even to this day. She was fifteen years old. The fear of it all was still present in her memories.

“Well, my daughter… Sarah. She…” His voice cracked, he dragged in a shuddering breath. “Somehow she got outside. Debris from the old farmhouse across the street was picked up by the wind. Pierced right through her—”

A sharp sob interrupted his sentence. Y/N wasted no time. She pushed up from her spot on the couch and was on her knees, sitting in front of him in a moment's notice. Her hands were splayed across his own thick thighs, she squeezed her digits around the muscles in reassurance. He didn’t need to say anything more. The picture was painted.

“She was nine years old.” Joel whispered into the hand that was still hiding his features, finding the courage to speak more about it once he felt her touch through the fabric of his pajama pants. “Nine years old, and she lost her life.”

And now everything was clear. It made sense why he was so scared for her life out there in the garden. He had experienced a loss like that before. A cruel twist of fate that took the life of his daughter. Right in his front yard.

“I wish every day that it was me instead of her.” He admitted, more sobs wracking through his body, large shoulders shaking.

It was peculiar to see him like this. Usually he was such a vision of strength, but now that these emotions were presented to Y/N, everything made so much more sense. He was hiding himself. Scared of more loss, if he opened his heart up to anyone else. This was only more confirmed as he continued.

“My wife— My first wife, she couldn't handle the loss of our daughter.” Joel relayed, “I don’t think she was happy with me. Not until Sarah was born. And once she was gone… She didn’t have a reason to stay…”

His words died in the air after that. But yet again there was no need to continue. Y/N understood. And all she could do was shift her hands so that her arms were now wrapped around his neck. She pulled Joel in as close as she could, her waist now fitted between his thighs. He clutched onto her in return, fingers gripping into her nightgown. His head resting in the crook of her neck, mouth pressed against the tendon.

“I won’t leave you.” Y/N whispered into his hair, still damp from the recent shower.

She wasn’t exactly sure what brought her to say those words, but once they were hanging in the air she knew them to be true. And she knew he did too once she felt his lips form into a distinguishable kiss against her skin. It was faint, but the spark of it lingered, and it changed everything.

A few months had passed since the night of the storm and a lot had changed for the woman, at least inwardly. But their routine? It was all the same. They would make dinner, share in their comfortable silence (sometimes punctuated with lighthearted conversation) and then they’d return to their separate bedrooms. Every. Single. Night. Nothing more, nothing less.

It was a bit frustrating to say the least.

And then he would leave every few weeks, on a venture out at sea. Where he would be gone for days at a time. And of course, she would miss him terribly. But would Y/N accompany him to the docks whenever he would leave? No. Would she ever be there to greet him home? Also no.

So it was safe to say that the blame was partially on her. Which frustrated the woman even further, because now she couldn’t even rely on the fact that the indifference was all one sided. Her actions apparently proved otherwise.

But what was it that she wanted to change? Maybe she expected their conversations to be much lengthier now that they had crossed the boundaries of hidden grievances. Or maybe she expected him to extend an invitation to sleep in his bedroom, now that they had participated in small instances of physical touch. Whatever it was, Y/N only knew one thing.

It had seemed they were still stuck at square one.

And with every one step forward there were three steps back. Not so long ago they were so close, lips against skin in the quiet of their living room. Safe in each other's arms as the storm raged on. But now? There was nothing.

She resented the fact that she was falling into the wants and desires of the common Ardorian townsman. It all seemed very mundane against the aspirations she held close to her heart before she was married. But as she stewed in these feelings— especially during the times that Joel was away— she wondered if these desires were just part of the human experience. Perhaps they were even the desires that came with the burning passionate love she yearned for…

Now that she knew what it felt like. It all seemed so natural. You meet the one who befuddles your heart and soul and all you want is… more, more, more.

Would she ever get what she was hoping for?

Maybe she could, if she was brave enough.

The opportunity presented itself the eve of Joel’s next expedition.

He had gotten home early that day, so he was around to help finish up dinner. Y/N remembered being unable to look away as his large hands sliced each potato that needed to be added to the pot. He was attentive with his actions, just as he always was. She was jealous of the knife that resided gently in his grasp. Heat burned under her cheeks at her desperation.

Of course every detail of her wants and needs went unnoticed by Joel. Everything about their usual marital customs went off without a hitch, why should he think anything different could happen?

They ate their meal in silence. They cleaned up after themselves, as always. And then they slowly made their way up the stairs, just like they did every night.

Joel stopped on the landing at the top. Y/N followed his actions. This wasn’t unusual, the same thing happened on every eve of his long departures. He stood, towering above her, she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“I’ll be gone before you wake up.” He told her, his voice gruff. She nodded, once. Simple and to the point. Just like always.

Joel nodded back in confirmation and then turned to go, like a captain dismissing his subordinate. It was all very formal. Almost passionless, which was such a great contradiction to what the young woman was feeling inside of her chest. She was just about ready to burst. So even though she wasn’t exactly intending on doing so— she wasn’t surprised when her hand shot out to clasp her fingers around his wrist, stopping him before he disappeared into the secret confines of his bedroom.

“You okay?” Joel asked, once he was facing her again. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, but that wasn’t the way she wanted him to look at her. She shook her head, but it wasn’t an answer to his question. It was more like she was trying to tell him that that was the wrong thing to ask. Or rather, the wrong thing to do.

“What’s wrong?” He inquired.

As it turned out, Joel was not a mind-reader. And since Y/N was too afraid to speak out loud about any of her desires, she did the next thing she could think of.

Her hands moved to grasp firmly against the lapels of his flannel. The floorboards beneath her creaked as she shifted onto her toes. She pulled Joel closer— closer than he’s ever been. She squeezed her eyes shut— almost like she was terrified when really this was all she wanted— and then before either of them knew it, she slotted her mouth against his own in a fervid kiss.

Joel stilled under the soft touch of her lips, surprised by the action, heart thrumming in his chest as he wondered if this was real. But the hesitation only lasted a split second before he reciprocated her kiss, leaning into her. The eagerness of which had caused their bodies to shift so that Y/N’s back was against the wall. She gasped against his lips, the grip on his shirt loosening.

He pulled away, but only slightly. His nose brushed against hers as he searched her eyes for any protests. He only found her pupils blown out with lust, paired with an indiscernible nod, a concession to keep going.

In an instant, his large hands were now cupping her face, calluses rough on her skin but she didn’t mind— in fact she relished in it. Her fingers twisted into his shirt once again as he traced her bottom lip with his tongue, pulling another soft gasp from her. He used that to his advantage, slipping his tongue against hers. She whimpered at the taste of him, earning a groan that rumbled deep in Joel’s chest, each of her sweet sounds causing an involuntary twitch from behind the zipper of his pants.

Joel was becoming more eager, selfish for more of that saccharine sound, his hands started to inch downwards. Smoothing over the curve of her neck, following the path of her shoulders, trailing down her arms, until his hands rested near the small of her back. He pulled her in closer, away from the wall. His fingers clutched onto the fabric of her dress. In a haze, he gathered more and more of the cotton within his hands, unknowingly exposing Y/N’s skin as he did.

She shivered as the back of her thighs met the frigid air, and soon almost the curve of her ass. It brought more attention to the heat that was pooling between her legs— A more intense version of a feeling that she’s only felt a few times before. It was harsh and greedy and it only grew stronger as Joel detached himself from her lips.

A whine spilled over her tongue at the loss, but all was forgiven when he began to press ardent kisses to the skin of her neck. She arched her back into his large frame, bringing notice to her nipples pebbling under the lace of her bra, another moan escaped her lips. He returned the noise with his own grunt of pleasure as his beard scratched against her supple skin. Suddenly she was aware of every single part of him.

His lips sucking softly at the skin just below her jawline. His flannel-clad chest was strong and solid underneath her hands, heartbeat pulsing into her palms. His own larger hands pulled her closer between every groan that vibrated through his throat. And then there was the hard heat of him pressed against her lower stomach.

The sign of his arousal had caused an ache so deep within her core that it shocked her. It was new and exciting, but it was overwhelming and it made her afraid of the strength that her desires possessed. The burn of shame licked white hot against her skin.

Joel— unaware of her inner turmoil as his lips kissed against the tendons in her neck— was given quite a shock when her hands pushed him away with surprising strength. He stumbled backwards, back hitting the other wall of the hallway. His eyes were wide and fearful that he did something wrong. Cheeks splotched a pretty color of pink and his lips swollen from her kiss.

Y/N covered her face with her hands, embarrassment and immense arousal caused her shoulders to tremble.

“I’m sorry.” She squeaked between her fingers, “Um, Thank you for… that, but I should…”

She backed away as she spoke, her sentence unfinished as she quickly escaped through the door to her bedroom. It slammed shut, abrasive in the action itself.

Joel stood with his back flush against the wall and a harsh strain against his zipper as he stared dumbfounded at the wood of her closed door.

Her humiliation kept her within the boundaries of her room the entire morning that next day, refusing to step even one foot out into the rest of the house until she knew Joel was gone. The sounds of his footsteps came and went just like they did every time he left for the docks. But Y/N’s dread seemed to have projected itself into the way time moved.

It felt like ages before he was actually gone, almost to the point where it felt like he was dragging his feet, hesitating to go. Like he was waiting for something to happen.

But that couldn’t have been the case, because Joel had his morning routine down to an art. So Y/N was convinced it was her own hallucination that caused time to move at such a snail’s pace.

Once the sound of the front door swinging shut rattled the foundation of their home, Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. Just his very presence within this house— even separated by walls and other rooms— had such a strong effect on her that she couldn’t let herself recount the events of last night until she was certain she was completely alone.

And once those images returned to the forefront of her mind, she immediately pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.

Though that only made the memory of it stronger through the stars that burst behind her eyelids from the hard press of her hands. A frustrated whine escaped her lips as she squirmed in her sheets. The movement of it caused her to take notice of the slick pooling in her panties, ever present since the first touch of Joel’s lips.

She rubbed her thighs together, trying to relieve some of the ache (though of course her efforts fell flat).

How was this at all possible? How was Joel able to pull such aggressive lust from just one single heated interaction?

Maybe it was because no one had ever touched her like that before.

The awkward, clumsy kisses she had shared with others in the past couldn’t hold a candle to what Joel had done to her. Forgotten was the memory of her very first kiss, which was frail and timid like a wounded bird. Or those later in life which were nice and gentle, but nothing special. Those moments of her past were now replaced by a roaring beast of want and desire. Joel had made her feel like the world had shifted on its axis, that he shifted it himself with his own two calloused hands. Just for her. And that was only with the touch of his lips. What else was he capable of doing?

The sheets rustled under Y/N’s weight as she quickly sat up in bed, regret stirring deep in her belly. She just realized— what with the way she reacted last night— she may never be able to find out. It was such a monumental milestone for their steady forming relationship and she had ended it by pushing him away and leaving him behind in the dark shadows of the hallway. She hadn’t even spared a glance in his direction, his reaction to her abrupt dismissal will remain forever unknown.

Or at least until he returns home.

But that wouldn’t be for another three days. Sure, luck was on the girls side since it was on the shorter side of his usual expeditions. But seventy-two hours left a lot of room for her overactive imagination to run rampant.

And she was now stewing on the outlandish conclusion that based on her reaction Joel would never want to touch her again. The frustration of that notion followed her throughout her morning.

It prickled at her skin as she stood in the shower, the hot water not doing enough to wash it away. Her skin was practically rubbed raw by the time she stepped out into the steamy bathroom, her hopes to scrub away her humiliation going down the drain, along with the lavender scented soap bubbles.

It caused her hands to shake, as she tugged the soft green fabric of her favorite dress over her head, the skirt of it swirling around her ankles as it fell into place. Y/N had thought if she wore her favorite clothing item that she might feel better about the whole situation.

But it didn’t help.

In fact, none of the aspects of her usual morning routine had helped her calm her beating heart, or her racing mind, or even the arousal between her legs— that, yes, was still there despite her forcing away any reminder of how it felt to have Joel’s lips on her skin.

She now stood at the kitchen counter, her eyes clenched shut as she begged her brain to conjure up any other image. But that just brought up a confusing mixture of childhood memories intertwined with the heavy sound of Joel’s breathing in her ear. Which made her feel shameful as she felt so much more different than the young restless girl she was back then. Was this the loss of her innocence? She supposed it was.

But then again, she was married to Joel. And these feelings were quite expected for a wife to feel towards her husband. There was no reason for her to feel ashamed by these thoughts, especially if they seemed reciprocated— brought forth by the evidence she felt last night pressing against her stomach.

The reminder brought heat up to her cheeks and that very same ache deep in her core when she had first felt it.

Y/N breathed in the air around her, dragging it into her lungs, pushing it out in a heavy wistful sigh. A flash of Joel’s hands flitted across her mind. Goosebumps littered her skin as she recalled the way his fingertips felt on the skin between her neck and shoulder.

Subconsciously she brought her own fingers to that very same spot. Tilting her head, she dragged her fingernails over her skin in slow circles, causing shivers to run up and down the length of her spine. She imagined how Joel’s hand was soon replaced by the soft touch of his lips, and her hand moved to her collarbone, a place she wished he had discovered with his tongue. Another sigh left her lips as her imagination replaced her hand with Joel’s. Her eyes were closed again, softer this time as she conjured up the fantasy.

Lips against skin. Hands wandering. Breathing heavy.

Though the tantalizing image soon vanished into the air like a bubble popping, when the sound of the front door slamming shut rang out through the tiny house. A gasp slipped from between her lips as she whipped around towards the intrusion. Her palm flush against her chest to calm her beating heart.

The sight of Joel standing in the doorway knocked the air out of Y/N’s lungs. It was as if her improper thoughts had manifested him to be standing right there in front of her. The curls of his hair were askew, as if he had been running his fingers through it, over and over. His large chest was heaving with slow heavy breaths, the same way her own chest was moving.

He swallowed, the adam's apple in his throat bobbing. He shook his head slightly, his brows furrowed, and then he looked back towards the door he just walked through. As if he hadn’t realized where he came from or what he was doing.

“Joel?” She questioned, her tone was breathless, desperate for something to fill the silence and tension that was slowly forming between them.

“’m sorry.” He breathed, when he turned back to her, his eyes shining with something that Y/N couldn’t quite place. Was it surprise? Curiosity? “Didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“What are you doing here?” She asked, somehow feeling brave enough to take a step forward. “I thought you were leaving on your trip?”

“I was— or I am.” He stumbled through the words. “It just got delayed for a couple hours. There were some last minute repairs needed on the ship…”

“And you had enough time to come back?” She questioned.

Joel paused, swallowing again. His eyes scaled over Y/N, taking in the look that resided behind her irises, the way she was breathing heavily, and how that green dress caressed her curves. She looked like she had just been caught in the act of something inappropriate, despite her just standing in the kitchen. An endeavor that was innocent in and of itself. But— god— the look of her, standing there in the golden light streaming in from the window above the sink, she looked downright sinful. Or maybe that was his own lust taking control and projecting itself onto her.

A lust that had kept him on edge this entire morning. Throughout the night too, when he was restless in his bed— remembering what happened between them— tossing and turning like the ocean tide. It never relented, so much so that when Tommy told him they had a few extra hours, Joel’s feet were already moving back towards his truck so that he could spend that time with Y/N. In this house. And even though he told himself to behave when he walked through the front door, It persisted. Even now as he stood in front of her, taking in the sight of her blown out pupils, eyes darkened with what he hoped was that very same lust.

“I forgot somethin’” He then said, as he realized she was still expecting an answer. “Had to come back to get it.”

“Oh… alright.” She replied, blinking as if she were just pulled from a trance. “What was it? I can help you look for it.”

Joel shook his head, deliberately this time. He took a step forward, the tension growing thicker as he did. His brown eyes held her stare. “I know where it is.”

His words were soft as they rolled off his tongue, causing an involuntary shiver to forge its way through Y/N’s bones. It was much more forceful than what she had felt under her own touch, only a few minutes prior. Joel must have taken notice of the effect that his voice had over her body, as he dragged in a low shuddering breath.

He took another step forward. And then another. And another, until he joined her in the kitchen, standing right in front of her, their chests only centimeters apart. Y/N had to tilt her head up to be able to look him in the eye. Which she was shocked she was brave enough to do, considering how he looked like he wanted to devour her.

“What are you doing?” She whispered, her eyes flicking down to his mouth as Joel dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. The sight of it was magnetic, pulling her in so that her chest was now brushing against his with every breath.

“Tell me to stop.” He said, his voice in that same hushed tone. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

Y/N, defiant in her own nature, replied. “What was it that you forgot?”

“I didn’t forget anythin’.” Joel told her, honestly, his fingers moving to pinch at a piece of her flowing skirt. As if the small action would keep her right there in front of him. Where he was desperate to have her. Hoping that it would keep her in place instead of having her running away like last time.

“It’s more like…” He continued, tilting his head down so that his forehead rested against hers. She gasped at the skin contact, relief flooding her form as she quickly realized his touch wasn’t lost to her like she had feared. “Somethin’ I regret not doin’.”

“And what do you regret, Mr. Miller?” She murmured, her eyes averted to the floor beneath their feet. The surname fell out of her mouth unexpectedly, as if garnering his respect would grant her the knowledge of his secret.

“Well, Mrs. Miller…” The reminder that she shared that very surname with him by holy matrimony caused a jolt of surprise to coarse through her veins. But it was replaced with satisfaction soon enough. She marveled at the fact that she wasn’t exactly bothered by the concept, in fact she almost relished in it. And then Joel said his next words.

“I can show you exactly what that is… if you’ll let me.”

She didn’t have it in her to speak. Any reply that she could’ve had was lost in the back of her throat. All she could do was to nod eagerly, any shame she could’ve had at her desperation was tossed out the window.

“I need you to use your words.” Joel said in response to her movements, his voice hoarse as if he were holding himself back and the action of doing so was terribly difficult.

“I— Yes… please, Joel.” She whispered, her breath fanning across his cheeks. “I want you to show me.”

This time, Joel was the first to bring their lips together in a zealous kiss. The green fabric that resided between his forefinger and thumb was soon shifted to be gripped by his hands as he pulled her in. Their bodies were now flushed together. The softness of her breasts pushing into the solid form of his chest. Simultaneous sighs of relief intermingled on their tongues when they finally let themselves melt into one another.

Y/N gasped into his mouth when his teeth nipped at the plush skin of her bottom lip. She had already known how brash he was with his movements from their kiss last night, but now it seemed as if all of his inhibitions were lost to him, his hands now smoothing over the curve of her ass. Joel’s fingers gripped at the supple flesh through her dress, pulling her waist into his own.

She moaned at his touch, as well as the sign of his arousal digging into her hip. Her arms shifted to wrap around his broad shoulders, her fingers digging into the muscles on his back, urging him to move closer, if that were even possible.

And in this instance, she wasn’t disappointed by the loss of his lips, because he was quick to replace them somewhere else on her skin. It was as if he had to kiss every inch of her before he moved on to undiscovered territory. Joel’s lips were kissing at the corners of her lips, and the apples of her cheeks before he moved down to her jawline.

Though this was where he became more selfish in his actions, nipping at the skin so he could hear the sweet little whimpers that would waver from between her lips. Then he would lick over the bruised skin, soothing her of the slight pain he might’ve caused, heart hammering at the soft sighs of satisfaction she gifted him. Joel groaned at the sounds she made, relishing in the glory of every moan, whine and sigh. He could feel as he grew harder against the strain of his pants, the pain of it almost too much to bear. But this wasn’t about him. Instead, it had everything to do with the woman arching into his lips.

Thick fingers curled around the square neckline of Y/N’s lovely dress, knuckles brushing against her sternum as he tugged down at the fabric. A sharp gasp rang out into the air as her sleeves slid down her arms, allowing the exposure of her nipples to cold morning air, already hardened by her arousal to the man committing these actions. The flesh of her breasts bouncing slightly from the momentum in which he moved.

Joel pulled his mouth away from her, eager to get a look.

Y/N could feel herself flush under his stare, suddenly shy as he drank in this new image of her. She wanted to look away and hide in her self-consciousness, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of his dilated pupils and the endearing shade of pink that tinted his cheekbones. A burning need was flashing across his brown irises, the sight of it sparking an odd sense of confidence in the woman. She straightened her shoulders, letting him look at her. Because he would be the only man who would ever get to see her like this.

He groaned again, at the sight of her perked nipples paired with her newfound boldness.

“S’ pretty.” He mumbled, smoothing a large hand up over her breast, he could feel the pebbled skin pricking into his rough palm. She hummed at the compliment as well as his touch. Though a second later it was replaced with a harsh ‘ah’— pulled from her lips when his hand shifted so that he could pinch at her nipple.

It was the most torturous form of pleasure she had ever felt in her life. That was until he guided her body until she could feel the kitchen table digging into her lower back. His free hand gripped at the flesh under her ass, lifting her up and making it so that she was now sat against the surface. With her now stationary on the table, he was able to bend over, lips finding purchase on the nipple that wasn’t trapped between his fingers.

A high pitched moan was ripped from her throat as she subconsciously spread her legs, Joel’s hips fitting perfectly in the space between her thighs. Her hand splayed out on the wood behind her as she arched into his tongue that was now currently swirling lazy circles around the sensitive bud. And though she had never done anything like this before, her hips started to move in the only way that seemed natural. The only way that seemed to relieve the ache that pulsed between her legs.

Y/N rolled her hips up into Joel, the hardness of him firm against her clothed center, soaked from her constant arousal since their first kiss. She wondered if she would make a mess of the pants he was wearing, but the thought was fleeting once Joel pulled away from her skin.

“Fuck.” He stammered, resting his forehead in the valley of her breasts, his brown curls tickling her skin. “D-don’t do that, darlin’.”

Y/N stilled. “Why? Did I hurt you?”

He laughed breathlessly, the air of it fanning over Y/N’s chest. “No, nothing like that… Just feels t’ good.”

“Oh.” She said, a bit bashfully, but a small smile tugged at her kiss-bruised lips. Pride started to swell deep in her stomach at the admission that she made him feel just as good. And that idea was too precious to pass up on. “Then maybe I should keep doing that.”

She grinded her hips against him again, forcing him to remove himself from her chest, sucking in a harsh breath. His hand shot out, gripping onto the supple flesh of her inner thigh, now exposed as the skirt of her dress had shifted during their hectic movements.

“Please, sweetheart.” Joel begged, his nails digging into her leg. “You gotta stop.”

“But I wanna make you feel good.” She pouted, hips stilled by the brace he instilled upon her. Joel released a shaky breath, moving his forehead to rest on Y/N’s once more. His gaze was averted to the green fabric bunched up under her breasts, his brown eyes lost to her.

“You have no idea how much I want that— how long I’ve wanted that.” He murmured. “But I came back here for a reason.”

His voice sounded more determined by the end of his sentence. In doing so, it made the woman’s tone that much smaller, but she was still quite the contrarian to his words.

“I thought this was the reason.” She countered, sliding her hand up behind his neck, fingers toying with the curls at the base of his hairline. This time it was him shivering under her touch.

A soft smile curled upon Joel’s lips, he shook his head against her forehead, in slight laughter. “No. It’s close to what I was picturin’... but not quite.”

“Then what were you picturing?” She asked.

Joel leaned back, finally gracing her with the sight of his eyes, He didn’t answer her question, only holding an excruciating form of eye contact with the woman. And then, the once rough fingers that had tugged at her clothing and groped at her flesh were now trailing soft patterns into the skin of her thigh. Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as they started to move closer to the spot between her legs. The ache she felt for him was now burning with great white heat.

Her own hands were gripping in their respective areas, meaning one was tugging at Joel's hair, pulling satisfied groans from his lips, while the other was locked around the edge of the table. Her hips jutted forward by their own accord when his fingertips skirted around the edge of her panties.

“Joel.” She whined, frustrated by his featherlight touch, though strangely enough also reveling in his gentle caress.

“I know.” He whispered, dropping his head onto her shoulder. “I know… I’ll give you what you want— just let me…”

He splayed his large hand onto her thigh, pushing against it so that she’d spread out wider for him. There was no resistance from her, only eager relinquishment. There was a harsh twitch of his cock at the thought that she would let him do anything with her, along with the idea that her body was all his for the taking. A covet he never thought would come into fruition.

“Please, Joel.” She urged again, and Joel realized right then that he was just as much hers as she was his. He would do anything for her. His body ached to give her exactly what she wanted.

So he did.

Y/N gasped when his thumb pressed firmly against the darkened spot on her panties, a similar gasp falling from Joel’s lips when he finally learned how wet she truly was. And it was all for him.

He moved his digit at an agonizing pace, moving in slow circles around the most sensitive part of her, not even sparing a fleeting touch to the bud of nerves. The torture of it all was exquisite. Y/N’s head fell backwards as she moaned, the tendons of her neck stretched out in front of Joel, the sight of it too enticing for his own good. He leaned forward, touching his lips against her skin.

Now having to focus on two things at once, his movements against her core became sloppy, and his touch harshened, slipping over Y/N’s clit. An embarrassing squeal forced its way from her throat as she jutted her hips fiercely into Joel’s thumb. He grinned against her skin.

“Oh, you liked that, didn't you?” He chuckled, placing more kisses down her neck, his beard scratching her skin as he moved. Y/N had a response to his teasing tone, perhaps it was even quick-witted, but it was stolen from her lips and replaced with another desperate moan when his tongue swirled around her nipple.

It was all becoming too much with every tiny ministration he committed on her skin. She felt as though she could burst into flames. Little did she know that it would all come to a head when Joel would kiss his way down her body, heavy knees dropping to the floor. There was no patience left within him when he practically ripped Y/N’s panties off of her body, hands roughly pushing her thighs apart.

“J-Joel, what are you doing?” She questioned, forearms braced against the table, being pushed back further up the furniture as Joel started nipping at her inner thigh, goosebumps following in his wake

“‘m doin’ what I came here for.” He mumbled into her skin, teeth grazing the malleable flesh. She was about to ask exactly what that might be, but the question was answered when he licked a long stripe through her slick folds.

Curses tumbled out of Y/N’s lips as he used his mouth on her. Never in a million years would she imagine that he would do something so… obscene. And she never would have anticipated how much she loved it. Her eyes were wide as she marveled at the sight of him. His brown eyes were staring back up at her from over her mound, drinking in every little reaction he spurred from her. His hair was wild, the look of it brought on by Y/N’s fingers as she ran them through the tendrils, forcing him closer and closer. And then there were the noises of him slurping and groaning and relishing in the taste of her.

At the beginning, Joel was slow with his actions, his tongue going up and down the length of her slit. Again he would frustratingly avoid touching her clit, tracing big circles around the bud, building up anticipation deep in Y/N’s stomach. But as he continued, every so often he would flick over it pulling more whimpers from Y/N’s throat. He would moan against her folds in satisfaction, the vocalizations causing slight vibrations to run through her entire form.

Y/N’s head fell with a soft thump against the table, her back arching up into the air, squirming under Joel’s actions. A hand snaked up from Y/N’s thigh, placing itself on her sternum. His palm was rough against the skin between her bare breasts, holding her down and keeping her in place.

Finally, seemingly deciding that the woman had been through enough torture, Joel wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking on it harshly. She all but screamed at this new sensation overcoming her, her right leg slipping over his left shoulder, unknowingly trapping him in place. They were locked in a heated tryst, his hand still braced on her chest, her calf pushing into his back and Joel’s mouth and tongue were still unrelenting.

She couldn’t help but to twist her fingers into his hair, tugging him closer against her cunt, she grinded her hips into his face, any tribulations that she might be hurting him lost in her pleasure. But if only she knew how much Joel adored her desperate nature as she chased after her high on his tongue. In fact he had never been this hard in his life. He could feel himself dripping inside of his pants, making a mess of his boxers as precum spilled from his tip with every twitch of his cock. His hips were thrusting into the air beneath the table in his own desperation. The seam of his zipper was rubbing firmly against the length of him. Joel honestly would not be surprised if he ended up cumming without even having to touch himself.

And as it turned out, eventually he would.

Joel’s name was now falling freely from between Y/N’s lips in broken fragments. The movements of her hips were becoming clumsy, stuttering as Joel continued to lick at her clit, groaning everytime she pulled at his hair. The heat burning low in her stomach began to grow hotter and more incessant. And with one more deliberate move of Joel’s tongue against her clit, it all began to burst.

The sight of Y/N cumming was the prettiest thing Joel had ever seen. Her head was thrust back against the table, supple lips drawn open as more of her moans escaped into the air, along with the sound of his name. Her whole body was tensing and shaking as the waves of her orgasm washed over her body. Joel’s mouth was ruthless on her cunt, drinking anything she had to offer him as the proof of her orgasm splashed over his tongue. The sight of her, as well as the taste of her, was all too much to bear as his own hips involuntarily jutted into nothing, the confines of his pants working against him in a way that had him finishing. He shuddered at the sensation, his shoulders trembling as he could feel his own cum spill into the fabric of his underwear. He whimpered into Y/N’s cunt, breathing sharply out of his nose, still trying to coax her down from her own orgasm as her body became limp and her breathing heavy, until finally everything started to slow down.

Searching hands groped around until they finally found purchase on Joel’s shoulders. She tugged at his shirt, forcing him away from her oversensitive core and out from between her legs.

She was met with eyes blown out with lust and a fading orgasm, red lips parted in amazement and beard shining with her cum. His clothes were askew and his brown curls were all over the place. He looked completely out of it. Though she probably couldn’t say she was much better.

And Joel admired the image of it as he stood above her. She blinked up at him, leaning back on her elbows, a look of pure wonderment painting her features. Her green dress was bunched around her middle, nipples still perked in the cool air of the kitchen, her chest stuttering with every breath. He smiled softly at her, leaning to snake a hand around her waist, pulling her up into a sitting position, her hands instinctively looping around his broad shoulders.

“You alright?” He asked gently as he stood her on shaking legs, the skirt of her dress now falling back in place. She shivered when she felt the touch of his knuckles on her chest once again as he shifted the top of her dress back in its proper position.

“I— um… yeah.” She said breathlessly, words lost to her in her post-orgasmic state. Joel couldn’t help but grin at her flustered demeanor, bringing a hand up to her cheek. She was grateful for his touch, leaning into his hand as he caressed her cheekbone with his thumb. He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to her lips causing Y/N to taste herself upon his skin.

“Did you… get what you were looking for?” Y/N questioned, once they pulled apart. Earning soft laughter deep from within Joel’s chest. The sound of it quirking up the corners of Y/N’s lips in a shy smile, pride swelling in her belly since she was the one who caused it.

“That I did, sweetheart.” He smiled, running a hand over her hair, his eyes sparking with contentment. Her shy smile morphed into that of a bright grin, pulling him back in towards her to share a deeper kiss. He groaned into her lips, unexpected for the both of them as another surge of lust sparked between them, seemingly unsatisfied by what they had just finished. She whimpered back into his mouth as tongues started probing and teeth nipping once again. At a particularly boisterous moan from Y/N, Joel had to pull away.

“W-wait.” He breathed, “I— We can’t, we don’t have time. I have to go back.”

Y/N deflated at his words, but ultimately nodded her head in understanding. She took a step back from him, needing the distance to quell her need to melt into him once more. Though Joel’s fingers quickly wrapped around her own, stopping her from moving away any further.

“You’ll still be here when I get back, yeah?” He asked, the question causing Y/N’s heart to drop down to her stomach. As she looked at him she found insecurities scrawled across his features. Maybe she hadn’t done enough to convince him that she wasn’t going anywhere. Or perhaps this was leftover from pain he endured in the past. She brought his hand up, brushing her lips across his knuckles in a sweet kiss, and then covered that spot with her free hand.

“I promise.” She whispered, her gaze locked on his searching eyes, flickering over her features, trying to find the truth. When he found nothing but her earnest smile he felt brave enough to go, but not before leaving her with one more breathless kiss.

Y/N had watched silently as he got ready to leave, washing his face with the bar of hand soap left on the side of the kitchen sink. She didn’t say anything as he readjusted his clothes and threw his bag over his shoulder. And she didn’t beg him to stay when he finally placed that final kiss upon her lips. All she did was sink further and further into the throes of missing him, despite the fact that he was right in front of her.

It only grew stronger as he whispered more promises of continuing when he returned three days later. She held onto that promise, close to her chest like a dying flame, watching as the view of his truck disappeared over the horizon.

She prayed to the gods above that time would fly quickly.

Though perhaps she should’ve been praying for something else entirely.

Because later that night and hundreds of miles out from the shoreline, a little ship bobbed at sea. The workers on deck scrambled in preparation. Worry stiffened their brows. Prayers to Poseidon fell from their lips. A soft pattern of rain began to sprinkle over their heads, it was unassuming in its very nature. But that was just the first sign of the oncoming danger as they headed into the eye of the storm.

Three days came and went.

Joel had yet to return home.

Y/N knew that the life of a fisherman was dangerous and unpredictable, she had heard many stories, most of which when she was younger, whispered to her by her classmates as they relayed the most gory details from the sad news of a shipwreck. Some were overheard at the local pub, traumatic events recounted around a bottle of brandy as fishermen tried to top each other's stories.

Frankly, these stories hardly bothered the young woman like it did to others in town. She couldn’t indulge in the disturbance of it all because the way these stories were told, relayed like an unattainable fairytale. It was all folklore in her mind. She was certain that nothing like that could ever affect any aspect of her life.

She was eating her words now.

It was on the sixth day that Joel was gone when she heard that it was a storm that delayed their ship, knocking it off its course.

The information was brought to her front doorstep by her very own father, who in his old age made the trek across the island to do so. This left Y/N’s stomach unsettled, for he would never go to such great lengths unless something truly terrible had occurred.

She was reminded of the day her mother died. He adorned the same face that painted his features now. Eyes downcasted, lower lip trembling, hands twisting around his patched cap. He was sitting on one of the wooden chairs strewn around the kitchen table. Y/N was leaned up against the counter, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

“We didn’t get the message until early this morning. Radio was down, they barely got it workin’ when they reached us...” He said quietly, to the toes of his boots.

“And?” Y/N urged, knowing her father had more to say.

“They lost a few men.” He said quickly, as if he couldn’t stand to have the words left on his tongue. Y/N sucked in a breath. She turned around, facing the window over the sink. She braced her palms on the counter, vision blurring as tears pricked the corner of her eyes.

“Did they say who?” She asked, words choked between her tightening vocal cords, constricting from her tears.

“No, couldn’t keep the signal for long enough.” He murmured, she could hear him stand, the legs of the chair squeaking against the tile. “But they did say they’ll be returning by this evening.”

Y/N whipped around at that, her features twisted in vexation. The lead buried so much deeper than it needed to be. She would have to keep her annoyance left unsaid, however, as now there was no time to waste.

She brushed past her father hastily, ignoring the way her name was called after her as she staggered around the living room, clumsy in the way she tugged her boots over her feet. Her jacket was long forgotten on the hook by the door as she hurried outside, the thought of it only coming once the cool winds whipped at her exposed arms and cheeks. But she wouldn’t turn back for it. Her adrenaline kept her warm, anyways.

It was a two hour walk to get to the docks. Beads of sweat ran down her spine, blisters pinched at the heels of her feet, her breathing was labored as she pushed her anxiety out of her lungs. Though none of that mattered. All she knew was that she had to get to the docks. She had to get to him. If he was even there…

She swiped angrily at the tears that now carved pathways down the skin of her cheeks. Never in her life had she ever been able to keep her emotions at bay, she was always willing to scream at the sky and cry til her throat was raw. That fact was unchanging even as she grew older. So she let her tears fall. They didn’t distract from her current mission, anyhow. Her eyes were set on the small town that appeared over the horizon.

The whole town congregated at the docks. Passersby stood on the cobblestone streets, their inherent nosiness ill-concealed by their feigned looks of concern. Whispers flitted between them as if this were all just a dramatized show to keep them entertained. Y/N let no apologies slip through her lips as she pushed her way through them, knocking into their shoulders and earning glares as she did.

When her footsteps rang out on the wood of the dock that's when she was surrounded by the people like her. Family members worried for their loved ones lost at sea. They all stood silently as their eyes were set towards the ocean, hands clutched in prayer, whispering hopes that it wasn’t their spouse, parent or child who lost their life to an unrelenting sea. Y/N was too impatient to do the same. She just stood and waited for any kind of sign that Joel would be home soon.

It came only thirty minutes later. When a small boy at the front of the dock screeched in anticipation, pointing out a small dot wavering in the distance. Y/N’s stomach swooped down in a mixture of hope and apprehension. She was terrified to learn the truth of what happened.

But twenty minutes after that, the truth had arrived as the ship pulled in with the tide. Everyone advanced closer to where the fisherman would eventually unboard. Y/N stayed behind, her feet frozen to where she stood. Maybe she was trying to delay the inevitable.

Relieved cries and overjoyed calling of names soon swirled into the evening air as loved ones were reunited. Warm embraces and fervent kisses were exchanged between them. But it was all backtracked by the ones who received news of a death, heartbreaking wails mixing in with the sound of reunion.

It was an unsettling cacophony of sounds. The way love and loss intertwined within one another. Two sides of the same coin. And Y/N still had yet to know which one she was on.

Her hands were shaking. Her sight was restricted by the many heads that stood in front of her. She scanned each face, none of them holding the warm brown eyes she’s grown accustomed to. Her stomach sank deeper and deeper, her throat started to constrict again, a sob threatened to burst out from between her trembling lips.

She couldn’t hold it back once she registered a mess of brown and gray curls making its way through the crowd. The sob released itself, though not in anguish as she had thought, it was instead paired with the most intense form of relief she had ever known. Her feet started to move by their own accord.

His name fell desperately from her lips.

Joel stilled once he heard the sound of it. Brown eyes wild as he searched frantically for where it was coming from. When they found her through a split in the crowd, Y/N was met with the same look of relief she knew was apparent within her own irises.

His stride lengthened as he worked fast to cut the distance between them. As she drew nearer, he registered the tear stains on her supple skin, fresh ones following the same path. His heart lurched at the sight, the overwhelming need to hold her burning his skin. Burning hotter as she drew nearer. Setting him ablaze when she was right in front of him.

He tossed his bag to the side in favor of wrapping his arms around her. He relished in the way she sank into his arms, curling into his chest. He felt how her heartbeat pounded against her ribs, beating in the same pattern as his own. Joel held onto her even tighter.

“You scared the hell out of me.” She cried, tone muffled by his cable knit sweater as she hid her face in his warmth. A large hand smoothed over the back of her head, bringing her in even closer if that was even possible. His nose dropped down into her hair, the scent of her invading his senses, comforting him. He was back home. Safe. And she was here waiting for him.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry.” He murmured, the nickname falling freely in his solace.

She didn’t seem to mind.

They returned home just as the sun dipped below the horizon, losing the orange hues of the sunset to a dark velvet sky littered with stars. The journey was much easier on the way back now that they had Joel’s old truck that was waiting for him down by the docks. As well as the fact that the reassurance of Joel’s return replaced the heavy feeling of fear that had haunted Y/N for the past three days.

They were greeted by a homemade meal, left behind by Y/N’s father. A gift either of consolation or celebration. She was grateful it was the latter.

And once their bellies were full and the pain of the day was washed away in soothing streams of hot water, the two of them stood in the hallway once again. Y/N was unsure of what to do. Less than a week ago they had crossed a boundary she hadn’t even dreamed of. Now they were standing at the precipice of something even greater. And since Joel was safe at home once again, the anticipation to act on it was dripping from the walls.

Was she ready for such a feat? Was Joel expecting something like this to happen? Nerves brought a tremor to her hands.

Meanwhile, Joel could feel the tips of his ears burning at the memory of what happened the last time they were alone together. Her moans had him weak in the knees, her skin was soft to the touch, things he only knew since Y/N had made the first move in this very hallway. A bolder woman than what stood in front of him now, as her eyes stayed glued to the floor, her breathing fragmented from timidity.

His gaze softened as he took in the sight of her.

“I don’t know what you’re expectin’ to happen...” He breathed, a soft smile turning up the corners of his mouth, “But I can assure you it’s not what you’re thinkin’...”

Y/N’s eyes flickered up at the teasing lilt to his words. She was met with a mischievous gleam in those brown eyes as he repeated the very first thing she ever said to him. She couldn’t help her own grin that bloomed across her lips.

At her smile, he felt brave enough to bring a hand up to her cheek.

“You have nothing to worry about, darlin’” He then murmured, stroking his thumb over the soft skin. She leaned in his touch, peering up at him through her lashes. “We don’t have to do anythin’.”

“I want to.” She whispered back, her words causing his breath to hitch in his throat. “Eventually… but tonight…”

He nodded, removing his touch from her face. “I understand.”

The floorboards creaked as he took a step back. But surprise shot up his spine when she moved to clutch his fallen hand with both of her own.

“But tonight could you just lay with me?” She quickly added.

She looked up at him expectantly, the plush of her bottom lip dragged between her teeth. He let out a low labored breath.

“Y-yeah.” He nodded, the word weak on his tongue. He was afraid that if he spoke any louder he might scare her off. Though the grip of her fingers locked around his palm proved to him that she was there to stay. A reassurance he was always grateful for.

Y/N tugged at his hand, urging him to follow as she guided their way into her bedroom. It was an odd choice, considering the master bedroom was just right there and the bed was bigger. But to be invited into her private sanctuary was an opportunity he would never pass on. So his feet followed eagerly.

It was dark in the room when they entered and it stayed that way as no one made a move to turn on the light. Unfortunately, what she had done to make the bedroom her own was lost to his eyes, but that regret was soon forgotten as he heard the squeak of mattress springs and the shuffling of blankets.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he found Y/N’s form on the bed in front of him, he stood on the side, basking in the glory of this moment.

“Come here.” Her whisper found him through the dark. His stomach swooped at the sultry sound of her voice. But he ignored any provocative thoughts that wormed its way into his brain. Instead, he obeyed her command, the mattress dipping as he slid under the covers beside her.

In an instant, his senses were invaded by her scent as well as her warmth. There was only an inch or two of distance between them. Both lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, afraid to move, afraid to breathe.

A sharp intake of breath rang out from Joel when the touch of her fingertips smoothed over his open palm in the space between them. Naturally, his own digits curled around hers. He heard as she sighed happily from his reciprocation.

And somehow— despite how fast his heartbeat was when he had her writhing under his tongue only a few days prior, it was nothing compared to the small gentle act of holding her hand.

Joel was up before the sun.

As was the case every morning, since his body's internal clock was intune with the demanding schedule his occupation thrusted upon him. So he was used to opening his eyes to a darkened world, not yet warmed by rays of sunlight.

Though today was slightly different. He wasn’t woken by the natural fluttering of his eyelids as his dreams from that night slipped away; Instead it was the press of another person’s form against his body, an arm draped over his torso, legs intertwined between his own, head resting on his chest.

He stiffened once he remembered where he was and who it was.

Y/N.

She was warm through the fabric of their pajamas. So much so that Joel didn’t even miss the warmth of the sun like he usually did during these dark and frigid mornings. A deep contented sigh pushed through the structure of his chest, Y/N’s head moving in time with his breathing. The movement elicited a small whine from her lips.

The sound had his heart racing yet again, reminding him of the other noises she was capable of making.

Those noises had been replaying over and over in Joel’s mind ever since he was blessed to hear them— even better, to create them with the touch of his own hands and lips. He brought the memory with him when he was on that small boat, miles out at sea, restless in his cot as he ached to return home to her.

When they were caught in the throes of that storm all he could think about was her. The drive of it kept him alive throughout the chaos.

Now here he was, sharing in her warmth, despite the awkward navigation of their newfound forms of intimacy. Anticipation surged through his muscles, pulling away the last dregs of sleep that had plagued his limbs.

Joel cursed under his breath as something else began to stir to life.

This was a young man's game. He was in over his head with the feelings she evoked from him. Never in his life had he experienced anything quite like this. The way every part of his body begged for every part of hers. Everything he’d felt for those before her was just a crude imitation of what he felt for her at this very moment. It was almost an insult to compare. Nothing could ever compare..

And he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

Which was funny. Because this woman was his wife. She was the one person he should feel this for. But with the way they had started Joel wasn’t sure what he was allowed to take what he wanted. Was he allowed to be selfish the way he wanted to? Everything surrounding the two of them was delicate. And Joel was terrified of breaking it with his large and clumsy hands.

For now he would just have to hold himself back. Be gentle in the way that he navigated this unknown territory. Which meant he had to do the hardest thing in the world.

He had to get out of this bed.

Slowly and cautiously he detangled his limbs from the woman beside him. He trained his eyes on her face, searching for any sign that his movements were waking her up. The line between her eyebrows showed itself when her cheek lost the firm foundation of his chest, but that— and a few incoherent mumbles— was all that occurred as he slipped himself out of her bed. Luckily, she seemed to be a sound sleeper as she curled up into herself without Joel’s warmth.

Joel stood above her, almost caught in a trance from how disgruntled she looked now that he was gone, proof of the effect he had on her as well. A small smile danced on his lips. And then he allowed himself one indulgence as he leaned over to brush a faint kiss over her forehead. He felt her features smooth under his lips, seemingly content with his departing gift.

To wake up alone in a cold empty bed was not what Y/N had expected that morning. There were a few instances during the night, when her dreams took a pause that she would wake up, eyes blinking in the dark. And she quickly grew accustomed to the strong presence that Joel was. The soft steady sound of his snores was a comfort to the girl’s ears as they rumbled through his chest. At some point in the night his strong arms had encircled around her waist, pulling her into his warmth.

That very same warmth, having been taken away from her, was now sorely missed. She stretched an arm out over the expanse of her bed, fingers groping at where Joel once lay.

She supposed she should’ve expected to wake up like this, considering how early he left every morning. But she would have thought she would’ve woken up when the time came. At least long enough to spare a goodbye before he headed off to work.

Disappointment sat heavy over her form like a stormy rain cloud. Y/N tried not to dwell on it, but as always her feelings were too strong to contain, so throughout the whole rest of the day she moved about the house wistful in demeanor. Yearning for Joel despite the fact he would be home in a few hours time.

Was this usually how it happened when you start to feel this way towards someone? Like your whole world stops turning when they aren’t near? Whatever the case, she knew that these feelings were not to be taken lightly. There was a rarity to them that made her heart much more precious to the woman. She felt like she needed to keep it safe, deep in her pocket where no harm would find it, and no one would be able to see the extremities of her feelings.

And that’s where she kept it as her restless feet wandered into town.

But as she walked, something funny happened. Everywhere she looked, everything seemed so much brighter. The people who passed her by greeted her with warm ‘hello’s’ and ‘how are you’s’. Kids were laughing as they played in the street, laughing. There were lovers in front of shops holding hands and exchanging stolen kisses. Birds were singing. The sun was… shining? Everything that used to be dreary about the island, everything that Y/N hated, had somehow flipped to be the exact opposite of what it used to be. Or perhaps… it had always been like this and she just hadn’t noticed, too caught up in her own pretension and desperate need to escape.

Perhaps this island really did live up to its name.

Why was it that she had just noticed this now? What had changed?

She thought of her beating heart, hidden in her deepest pocket. And then froze in her tracks.

She was reminded of something. Something she had only heard in the old sea-shanties her father used to sing while he cooked. In the stories her mother used to whisper to her at bedtime. And that used to worm her way into her dreams late at night, planting the idea that she had to escape in the first place. She had to go find it.

It was love.

And it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Well, not the love part, that made sense to her as the loose ends were finally tied together. What surprised her the most was that she didn’t have to travel to the furthest reaches of the earth to find it. It had been on this very island the whole entire time. And it was fated to be shared with the man she was hell-bent against marrying.

Incredulous laughter began to bubble out of her throat. So much so that she had to brace herself on her knees as she gasped for air. She was definitely living up to her reputation as the crazy woman, earning strange glances from passersby. But she didn’t care. She never cared. All she really cared about was burning passionate love, that’s what she had been yearning for all her life. And she was almost too stupid to realize that it was right under her nose.

Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong! Gong!

The clocktower in town was chiming at the start of the new hour. Five o’clock… It pulled Y/N out of her unexpected fit of laughter. Joel would be on his way home right at this very moment. And without thinking twice, the woman began to run.

Joel returned to an empty house. This wasn’t entirely unusual, as there were some days Y/N would be out in the garden, lounging on the porch swing she loved oh-so much, having lost track of time. He would always find her, caught in the middle of a fascinating passage, one she couldn’t tear her eyes from. The idea of dinner would not have crossed her mind, as it was often lost in the clouds.

He never minded that, though. In fact, he quite liked finding her like that because then it meant that he would get the chance to be by her side while they made their meal together. And he also couldn’t lie about the fact that he enjoyed seeing the image of her, so carefree, with her knees tucked beneath her, skin glowing underneath the evening sun. He would always take a moment to stop and watch her, drinking in the sight of her peace before having to force her out of it.

A small smile spread across his lips at the thought he’d catch her like that now. His heavy footfalls rang out into the quiet household as he crossed the floor towards the back door. His anticipation flickered deep in his stomach once more, excited to see her.

But he was left in disappointment and slight worry when he was greeted with the sight of an empty porch swing. It looked so much sadder without her presence, the loss of her making obvious the peeling white paint and rusted chains that made the furniture what it was. Lackluster without her. A feeling now all too familiar to Joel as he searched the rest of the house, finding empty room after empty room.

He had seen this before. Lived through it. Deja vu in the form of his ex wife whittled its way into his brain. He recalled the day he found her missing. How he felt when he realized she wasn’t coming back. This was so much worse. Because now it was Y/N.

The woman he had unexpectedly fallen for, head over heels. The woman who promised him she wouldn’t do the same and that she would stay right here with him in this house.

It must’ve been too much to ask for. Joel must have wanted too much. Taken too much. She must have come to her senses and realized the potential she was wasting in a marriage with an old man like him. Dread was quick to overtake him, he knew that much. But he had never been a lucky man. Everything he ever loved was always lost to him. Why would anything change now?

Joel found himself sitting on the front step of his porch, head clutched in his hands. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was that brought him out there. Maybe he needed the fresh air to rid the panic in his lungs. Or maybe it was that flicker of hope that still burned within his heart. Maybe she would return home to him. If his hopes weren’t for nothing.

“Joel?”

His head snapped up to find Y/N standing in front of him. She was out of breath, a sheen of sweat covering her skin, causing her to glow brighter than she usually did. Her irises sparked with worry as she took in the sight of his hunched form on the porch. Though once he registered that she was really there, standing in front of him, he shot to his feet.

“Y/N.” He replied, his voice riddled with a confusing tone of surprised awe, eyes thick with relief. The girl’s brows furrowed. He took the remaining two steps down to where she stood, his hands bracing themselves on her shoulders.

“Where were you?” He questioned, somewhat angrily, though through that she could see a form of desperation hiding behind it all.

“I’m sorry I was— I just came from town.” She answered, having not yet fully caught her breath, the words were hushed between her overworked lungs.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He practically begged out the question. “I could’ve brought you home.”

“I’m sorry.” She said earnestly, wrapping her fingers around his wrists. “I didn’t think of it. I was in a hurry to get back.”

“Why?”

She looked down at the ground between their feet, the distance between them small, soon to become even smaller, she was sure. A bashful smile crept up onto her lips.

“I wanted to see you.” She murmured, eyes still averted as a slight heat pinched at her cheeks. Somehow it was much harder to face him, now that she had put a name to what she had been feeling.

Surprise stiffened her shoulders when Joel let out a harsh breath of relief, his head dropping into the crook of her neck, arms looping around her waist. She soon softened under his embrace, her fingers tangling within his sea-breeze tangled hair.

“I thought you left.” He mumbled into her skin. Y/N’s stomach dropped at the hidden fear behind his words. She now understood completely where this strange new demeanor was coming from. She quickly shook her head, knowing Joel felt as she did when her cheekbone brushed against his ear in time with the movement.

“No.” She whispered. “No, I would never.”

His hold on her tightened with the words spoken. Y/N smoothed her hand over the back of his head, hoping it brought some form of comfort to the man. As his shoulders began to relax, she knew that it did. She continued her reassurance.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N tilted her head towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I should’ve come down to the docks.”

“Why didn’t you?” He asked, pulling back from his hiding spot, eyes searching for the answer.

Y/N drew in a deep breath, the heat in her cheeks burning fiercer than before. She averted her gaze towards the gravel pathway, taking a step back so that possibly she could find her words within the created distance. Nerves, fairly quickly, took over her form.

“Well… to start, I think— pretty early on in our marriage you must have realized that I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about the whole ordeal.” She rambled as she began to pace, wild with her movements the way she was erratic with her words.

Joel opened his mouth to confirm, but she was speaking so fast that he never had the chance. So he watched on, almost incredulously, eyes following her as she paced back and forth in front of him, avoiding his gaze.

“I mean… I don’t think you were totally happy with it either, considering how we were at the beginning… —Anyways, none of that matters now.” Y/N waved her arms, trying to get rid of any more unnecessary words.

“The reason I was so unhappy— at first— was because I was so desperate to fall in love.” She continued, the last word ringing familiar in Joels ear. A smile perked up the corners of his mouth as realization dawned on him, patiently waiting for the girl to finish her rant.

“And I didn’t think an arranged marriage could have any possibility of that.” Y/N glanced quickly over at Joel, finding him nodding along in exaggerated understanding, strong arms crossed over his chest.

“But then a funny thing happened, when I was walking into town and I suddenly realized…” She stopped moving, facing the man head on as she said her peace. “I think I may be in love with you— No… I know that I’m in love with you.”

As he considered her— standing in front of him, with begging eyes and shaking hands— he bit back a brighter grin. With this onslaught of information he wasn’t exactly sure how he should say what he wanted to say. If the girl would even give him the chance to do so.

“And that’s why I didn’t meet you at the docks.” Y/N finished, quite lamely, hands raised out from her sides as if offering him the floor. Though, her arms flopped back down to their original position quickly after.

“So…” Joel started slowly, killing the woman with every second his pause dragged out. “You didn’t come to the docks… because you’re in love with me?”

“It would seem so.” She confirmed, her voice small with apprehension. “Do you have anything to say on the matter?”

“Just one thing.” He breathed, before taking a step forward, he looped an arm around her waist pulling her against him. A gasp fell from her lips at the eagerness in this action, her hands impulsively landing on his chest. Joel's other hand moved to rest on the side of her face, guiding her lips to slot against his in a deep-seated kiss.

It was as if the entirety of her being were in her lips, like there was nothing else in the world as he pressed soft kisses to the plush skin. Kisses that somehow conveyed the entire range of how he felt towards her. The passion showed itself as he nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth. The tenderness shown in the gentle caress of his tongue. The love being presented as he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, it shining in the deep brown of his eyes.

“I love you too.” He confirmed what she saw within his irises, her heart swelling that she wasn’t on her own in feeling this way.

“I didn’t realize that’s what it was until I thought you were gone.” He told her, “I think I might’ve…”

His words trailed off, replaced with a deep breath as he pulled her in closer, as if making sure she was really there in his arms.

“I think I might’ve felt this way for a really long time.” He ended. Y/N smiled warmly up at him, tilting her head to brush her nose against his own.

“Me too.”

And neither one of them really knew exactly when that could have been. Perhaps it was the very first time they laid eyes on each other. Or during one of their many shared meals as they sat across from one another in comfortable silence. Or the distance that kept them apart by raging seas. Maybe it shifted with the constant storms that would rain down over their house. Or maybe it was written in the stars, destined to happen. Whatever the case, it didn’t really matter to them now as they melted back into each other, lips crashing in a great crescendo portraying exactly the burning passion this island was supposed to be known for.

Their next movements were like a white blinding light as they forged through the front door of their home, shoes left behind,— the excitement that should’ve been present on their wedding night was now following them through the living room and up the creaky stairs. Y/N’s grip on Joel’s hand was strong as she pulled him down the hallway towards the master bedroom, but she still wasn’t strong enough to keep him moving when he stopped abruptly. She turned to face him.

“Wh—?” Her question was interrupted when he pressed her against the wall, his lips finding hers once more. A small squeak of surprise from the young woman was muffled by Joel’s kiss, swallowing it down. His hands were firm on her waist, fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt. Her skin was hot to the touch.

“Joel.” She moaned against his lips, the touch of his thumb rubbing slow circles into her skin sending bolts of electricity straight to her toes.

His name sounding like that coming from her was enough to have Joel’s entire being on fire. He could feel himself harden with every moan she gifted him, as well as his resolve weakening, patience wearing thin.

Shifting his grip, his hands were now clutching at the back of Y/N’s bare thighs (since she had miraculously had the good sense to wear shorts today). On instinct, using the leverage of Joel’s grasp, she jumped into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. The momentum of their bodies coming together had Joel stumbling backwards, back hitting the other wall. The artwork hanging on aging nails rattled in their frames, threatening to crash to the floor as they shook from the collision. Neither husband or wife paid this any mind as they clutched onto each other, lips still vehemently attached, moans and grunts being traded within their kiss.

Soon, Joel’s feet were moving once again, carrying Y/N over the threshold of his bedroom. Like a man was supposed to do with his bride, finally given the chance to do so. Though his grip almost slackened when she pulled her lips away from his, replacing them on the skin below his ear. He cursed under his breath as she began to suckle against a sweet spot he never even knew existed.

Against all odds, he made it to the bed, falling backwards against the plush surface, springs squeaking under their combined weight. Y/N was not at all deterred by this new position, her forearms bracing themselves on either side of Joel's head as she kissed her way down his neck, hoping she was even half as good as Joel was at this sort of thing.

She supposed she wasn’t half bad as his breathing was soon labored under the touch of her lips, thick fingers twisting into the fabric of her shirt. She smiled against his skin, especially so when she finally lowered her hips down over his own, the sign of his enjoyment pressing harshly into her inner thigh. Y/N rolled her hips into him, hoping for that very same reaction she had gotten the first time she did this. With no surprise at all, she prevailed.

“Shit—.” He hissed, hands darting to grip at her hips. “Wait.”

Somehow he was strong enough to still her movements. Or maybe Y/N couldn’t help but obey the words said by this man. In either case, time began to slow down, their frantic movements ceasing. Y/N pushed up on her hands, sitting back on her heels so that she could meet his gaze. Joel’s hands found their home on the skin of her thighs, thumbs instinctively rubbing those soothing circles once again.

He drew in a breath, staring up at her with soft brown eyes. “Have you ever done this before?”

A shy look flitted across the woman's pretty features, her bashful smile weakened as her bottom lip was tugged between her lips. She shook her head, eyes trained to the top button of Joel’s shirt.

He swallowed against a newly dry throat as he realized she was willing to give him everything. Pink swelling up into his cheeks when his cock convulsed at the thought. Surely she had to have felt that, the gasp slipping from her lips proving that she did.

“I… I don’t wanna rush you into doing anything you’re not ready for.” Joel murmured, “We can take it as slow as you need.”

Y/N offered him a sweet smile at his words, her fingers toying with that button she had her eye on. They were trembling slightly, not out of fear but instead a steady form of anticipation.

“We’ve been married for almost a year now.” She responded, her tone soft. “I think we’ve taken it slow enough.”

“Alright then.” Joel responded in that same tone, a small smile matching her own, his heart lurching at what was to come next.

And he could have easily slipped back into the pace they had set when they had crashed into the room. His desires were certainly begging him to do so. But this was their first time indulging in this act as a married couple— her first time at all. So despite the protests of his aching body, Joel would take his time, offer every part of himself to her and hope she would offer the same.

He smoothed his hand up her thigh, carving his way up to rest his fingers behind her ear, thumb against her cheek. Without much force at all, he guided her gently until their lips were touching once again, this time in a slower kiss. She relaxed against him, chest resting on his. A small whimper escaped the back of her throat at the tenderness of it all.

The small noise spurred Joel into rolling Y/N onto her back, flipping the preexisting roles, covering her with the shadow of his form. His hands were braced on the plush surface beside her head, holding his weight above her. His knee was positioned between her thighs. She was a whimpering mess, grinding up into him, desperate to relieve the ache between her legs. Joel couldn’t help the smirk that appeared over his lips. The bold woman who was kissing down his neck just a mere few minutes ago was long gone. A dark part of him took pleasure at the sight of her like this, desperate for him. It didn’t help how pretty she was splayed underneath him, eyes darkened with lust, bottom lip trembling, hips rutting towards the thigh that was too far away from where she wanted him.

He wouldn’t give it to her. Not yet at least. He was going to take his time. He set his hand against her hip, forcing her to stop her movements, holding her in place.

Lowering himself towards her, he brushed his lips across Y/N’s in a quick kiss. He placed another on the apple of her cheek. Another on her temple. And again at the corner of her mouth. He was moving so slow that she could feel the flutter of his eyelashes tickling her skin. She sighed at each kiss, relishing in his attentiveness.

She was cold when he removed himself from her, standing up at the side of the bed. Even more so when his hands lifted the hem of her shirt, pulling it up over her head. Her nipples were pebbled against the white lace of her bra, made more obvious as she leaned up on her elbows. His darkened eyes roamed over her body, no inch left undiscovered. His fingers continued to do their work of revealing more, when he popped open the button of her shorts. The garment soon discarded on the floor with her shirt.

All that she was left in was her undergarments, grateful she had put on a matching set that morning. Joel stood fully clothed in front of her, on unequal ground but somehow the thought excited her. She could feel herself flush behind the skin of her cheeks, turning her head so she could hide behind the back of her hand.

“Don’t hide from me, darlin’” He whispered, catching her in the act, fingers clasping around her wrist. She complied letting the limb fall back to its original position. She dared herself to meet his strong gaze as he continued, another gasp swirling into the air when he spread her thighs, the wetness between her legs more obvious once the cold air contrasted with the heat of her arousal.

“Look at you…” Joel groaned, toying with the hem of her panties where her thigh met her center, the fleeting touch of his fingers causing her hips to twitch up towards him. He watched her restlessness with slight amusement, though he granted her some form of relief as he dipped his pointer finger into her soaked panties. Though he only did so to pull the fabric away from her burning heat, and a second later he let it snap back down, the sound louder than expected as it smacked against her folds.

“Don’t do that.” Y/N whined, squirming under his teasing.

“What? You don’t like it?” He did it again, causing the girl to jolt up further on the bed. She whined once, but she didn’t exactly have any words to argue with him. She sort of did like his teasing. But impatience was taking over her.

“I— I think I’m ready.” She breathed heavily through her nose as his fingers continued to play around with the fabric of her panties.

“Ready?” He questioned, brows furrowed.

“Ready for you to— for your…” She stammered, embarrassment flooding her senses as she couldn’t find how to put it.

“For my cock?” He finished for her. She squeaked at the unexpected harshness of his words, but was pleased by the sharp ache that probed at her core.

“Mhm.” She nodded, shutting her eyes, almost as if bracing herself.

They shot back open at the sound of Joel’s soft laughter filling the room, she was greeted with the sight of his bright smile, his head shaking.

“What?” Y/N asked, slightly perturbed at the fact he was laughing at her. He only shook his head, bending to loop an arm around her waist, shifting her body with ease so that she now lay properly on the bed, head sinking into the plush material of his pillows. She huffed in annoyance, lifting herself up back on her elbows so that he could feel the full force of her glare.

“You’re not even close to ready for me, sweetheart.” He told her, a strong knee propped on the bed. His fingers were working on the buttons of his dark green shirt, revealing a smattering of hair that was once hidden by its confines. Y/N paused as she hungrily drank in the reveal of his skin, but was soon disappointed when he stopped at the third button down. Any complaints she had were lost on her tongue when he swung his other leg onto the bed, trapping the woman between his knees as he sat above her.

He looked like a god in this position. Skin shining under the sunlight that slid into the room in its golden hour, the shadows of his strong features accentuated. She wasn’t sure if she should cower under his might, she was more grateful to be bestowed with this sight of him. Ready to sacrifice anything to him.

“I feel ready.” She murmured up to him, “Want you inside of me, Joel.”

An unanticipated shiver shot up the length of Joel's spine at her admission, his erection growing harsher within the limits of his underwear. He sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head as if he had to deliberately make the move to hold himself back.

“I want that too, baby.” He mumbled, shifting to smooth his hands down the expanse of her stomach, needing his hands on her in some shape or form. “But ‘m too big for you.”

“Too big?” Y/N parroted her eyes widening. He nodded.

“Have t’ get you ready for me.” He relayed, “Especially since you’ve never had anythin' up there before.”

“Yes I have.” She countered, her tone becoming more defiant. Joel stilled at her words, knowing that could only mean one thing.

“Your fingers?” He swallowed against the words. Y/N’s shy demeanor returned, she looked away.

“Yes.” She said, her voice small.

Joel held back a groan threatening at the back of his throat, the image of her playing with herself, cumming around her fingers, forcing its way to the forefront of his mind. He could feel as more precum leaked out of his tip, slicking against his skin. His heartbeat was ringing in his ears.

“It’s not gonna be the same.” He strained, shaking his head.

“Will it hurt?”

“A little… at first.” He told her honestly, “That’s why I need you to be ready for me. It’ll hurt you less and I… just wanna make you feel good.”

Y/N softened at the earnest look in Joel’s eyes as he spoke, her heartbeat hammering in her chest with how much care he was providing for her.

“Okay.” She relented, her hands moving up to grasp at the bottom of his shirt, tugging him towards her. He followed her movements with no resistance, leaning down to kiss her, deep and steady.

“Make me feel good then.” She whispered into his lips.

“As you wish.” He replied, in the same hushed tone.

Joel sat back on his heels, admiring her in the golden light for just a second longer before he started. They held each other’s stare, the love they confessed blooming in the air between them, warming their bones, making their hearts beat in time.

His touch was light as he slid her panties down her legs, losing the piece of fabric somewhere on the bed behind him. He placed a featherlight kiss across her collarbone as he unclasped her bra, her back arching into him so he had the room to remove it. He tossed it in the same aimless direction. And when he sat back, she was bare to him.

“Beautiful.” He mumbled, tracing his knuckles down her sternum to her belly button, she shivered under his touch, or maybe from the compliment.

Then he placed himself gently on the pillow beside her. He brought a large hand to her chin, tilting her head to the side so that she’d meet his gaze. Kissing her lips gently, he slid that same hand down the length of her stomach until his fingers were pressing into her pubic mound. He pulled away from her lips, so he could see every little reaction that she had for him.

Her pretty lips fell open when he dipped his fingers lower, collecting the wetness that was pooling at her entrance. He hummed at how wet she was, the slick covering his two fingers when he brought them back up to rub circles into her clit. A moan was instantly pulled from her, her body jolting at the sensation, breasts bouncing as she did. Joel drank in every minute of it.

And once he knew she was completely ready, he finally slipped a finger inside of her.

Y/N sucked in a harsh breath, she wasn’t expecting his finger to feel so large inside of her. But it was nothing to what she had felt before when she tried something like this on her own. She felt so full with just the use of his finger, stretching her out so resolutely, that she wondered how it would feel once it was the real thing. She was whimpering once again due to Joel’s actions, her hands shot up to grasp at Joel’s bicep, his shirt taut over the flexing muscle.

“You want another finger?” He asked into her temple.

“Y-yes.” She breathed, already wanting more from him. And he wasn’t going to deny her of what she wanted. So he added the second finger, the obscene sound of it squelching into the air. He changed the position of his hand, as well, his thumb now prodding at her clit whenever he thrust his hand back into her.

Y/N’s hips moved in time with each of Joel’s movements, even as he sped up, the sound of his palm smacking against her wetness growing louder and louder. Her moans were now tumbling over her tongue at a constant rate, her head thrown back against the pillow.

Joel’s eyes were still watchful over her, he gaped at how beautiful she looked, coming undone with only the use of his fingers. He couldn’t stop from grinding himself into her hip, moving at the same pace as his fingers, too turned on by her to try and hold back.

His own moans were muffled when he started kissing at her neck, and then down the soft flesh of her breasts, until he flicked his tongue over her sensitive nipple.

That was the beginning of Y/N’s breaking point. Him curling his fingers inside of her, probing at a small spongy spot hidden deep inside of her, was the end.

Her orgasm ripped through her like a freight train, her cum splashing itself onto Joel’s palm. Her legs couldn’t stop shaking, even when he pulled his digits out of her. He chuckled softly as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest. On instinct she curled into him, fingers clutching at the lapels of his shirt, her body still trembling as she floated back down from the sky.

“How was that?” He questioned, holding her tighter against him. She could feel her own slick on his fingers as they pressed into her lower back.

“Good.” She said into the crook of his neck, voice shaky, earning another laugh from the man.

“We can stop now, if you want.” He told her, lips pressed into her hair.

Y/N pushed against his chest, freeing herself from her previous hiding spot. She looked at him with furrowed brows and found nothing but honesty and adoration flickering across his irises. God, he really would stop for her, if she asked him too. In fact, the look he was giving her told her that he would do anything for her. She let out a frustrated breath, surely he wasn’t so stupid to think that she wouldn’t do the same for him.

“I don’t want to stop.” She said, genuine with her words. Maybe a bit too forceful as she sat up.

“O-okay.” Joel relinquished, eyes wide at her eagerness, following her in the action of sitting up, his back now straightened.

“It’s slightly unfair, you know.” Y/N then said, placing a hand to the center of his chest, pushing lightly so that he would rest against the headboard. There was no resistance, he did as she said.

“What is?” Joel inquired, his breathing quickening as Y/N sat on her knees beside his hip. His eyes were trained to the crease between her thigh and waist, relishing in her every curve. It was a cruel reminder of his hardened cock trapped in his pants, twitching at the sight. He didn’t even notice as her hands started to unbutton his shirt. That was until she started kissing at each newly revealed piece of skin. He sucked in a harsh breath at the touch of her lips.

“You always get to see me like that.” She said between kisses. And he could’ve argued that it had only ever been twice, but he didn’t want to know what would happen if he interrupted her wrath. “And yet you always hide from me.”

“I don’t hide from you.” Joel countered, his knuckles white from his grip on the sheets beneath him. “You’re just not the opportunist like I am.”

A surge of pride spread out under Joel’s skin as Y/N’s sweet laughter bubbled into the air. The sound of it doing as much to him as her moans did. He loved hearing her laugh. Like it was proof that she was actually happy with him. Though he supposed the proof was right in front of him, as she continued to leave loving kisses across his chest.

Joel’s shirt was finally discarded, granting Y/N the sight she had been desperate to see for so long. A beauty to behold. He wasn’t exactly all hard lines and jagged edges. But he was strong and large, and soft in the places he needed to be. His skin was tanned and taut over muscles that could only be carved by the waves of a raging sea. But there were scars left behind, probably a result of tragedies endured on his countless journeys. Y/N left a soft kiss over each one.

And then her hands were soon preoccupied by a new task, the metal parts of his belt clanking against each other as she removed the constriction.

Joel waited with bated breath. He had to force himself not to ask if she was really sure about this. Because if she wasn’t, she definitely would not be slowly sliding open the zipper to his pants. Or then tugging them down his thick thighs, revealing the black fabric of his boxer briefs. And she definitely would not now be palming at the bulge between his legs. Which she was.

A groan fell from his lips once she had her hand squeezing at his erection. His hips jutted forward into her palm, his need for her touch too obvious for his own good. His eyes flickered up to find a look of pure wonder on the woman’s features, maybe she was surprised she could elicit such reactions from him.

“Feel’s s’ good, baby.” He reassured, the words falling from his lips between soft grunts of pleasure. Y/N’s eyes snapped up to meet his. He stared back, lids hooded over darkened eyes overblown with lust. His hips were now rolling up into her hand, over and over, unable to stop.

“Really?” She squeaked.

“Yeah.” He grunted out, any coherent sentences lost to him as lust overtook him. Especially when her fingers hooked around the hem of his underpants, pushing them down to follow the path of his pants.

He gasped when the cold air hit his burning erection.

She gasped at the sight of it.

His cock sprang up once it was finally free from its confines, the tip hitting his lower belly, leaving behind a splotch of precum against his skin. And Joel was right… he was big. It was thick, just like the rest of him, with protruding veins running up the side. The head of it was red and angry, shining with the proof of his arousal.

And surprisingly, despite the aggressive look of his erection, the woman wasn’t scared like she thought she’d be. Instead she was drawn to it. Drawn to him. Because she was drawn to every part of him. So there was no time wasted when her smaller hand wrapped around his length.

Joel cursed under his breath, head falling back against the headboard with a dull thud. Just the touch of her hand already had him weak, ready to unravel. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to last once he finally felt the tight confines of her cunt fluttering around him. So for now he enjoyed the soft touch of her hand, closing his eyes as her thumb spread his precum over the tip with gentle touches.

She was slow with her movements, which was alright by Joel. It granted him time to breathe, as well as the fact that this was the first time she’s ever done anything like this. He didn't need to move any faster than this if she didn't want to. His arousal sat low in his belly, happily waiting in the anticipation.

Though, his blood spiked when he felt the wet touch of her tongue against the head of his cock.

“W-what are you doin’?” He asked, head snapping up to find her crouched down at his waist, hands splayed out on his thighs. She looked up at him through her lashes, tongue still unyielding against him. It was a sight he had dreamt about and longed for, but he never expected her to do anything like this tonight.

“You did this for me, right?” Y/N said between the tiny kitten licks she administered, “‘m only returning the favor.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He replied, shaking his head slightly. He brought a hand to her jawline, ready to pull her away from his erection, “You don’t owe me anythin’.”

“Okay… Well then it’s because I want to.” She countered, ignoring the presence of his hand and dipping her head downwards again. This time she wrapped her moistened lips over the entire tip.

“Fuck.” He hissed into the air, his hand moving from her cheek to her hair. He tried to be gentle with his grip, knowing she was new to all of this, but it was increasingly difficult to do so. Especially when she hummed in pleasure around his cock, seemingly relishing in the slight pain of having her hair pulled. She swirled her tongue around him, pulling a stuttering whimper from his lips.

She looked up at him at the sound. His head was thrown back once again, a thin layer of sweat coating his skin, he was breathing harshly through his nose, his handsome features twisted with euphoria. And it was all because of her.

Y/N felt as more wetness pooled between her legs and dripped down her inner thighs, she squirmed slightly as her arousal increased once again. As it turned out, she seemed to like having Joel like this, writhing under her in immense pleasure, whimpering from the touch of her tongue. She wondered if this is how he felt when he did the same thing to her. If he was this hard in her mouth because he gained pleasure from her pleasure. The thought spurred her on, moving her mouth further down his length.

Another deep groan rumbled out from his chest, eliciting a sound of affirmation from the woman, the vibration of her vocal chords shooting electricity through his body. He glanced back down at her, watching as she took him in as deep as she could.

“God, you look s’ pretty like that.”

And she did. Her mouth around his rigid cock, tears filling her eyes as he pushed deeper down her throat, her pupils blown out with need for him. He could cum to that sight. No— he was going to cum at the sight. He could feel the coil deep in his core about to snap as she continued. But he wasn’t going to let it end here.

“W-wait. Please, darlin’, you have to stop.” Joel said softly, as he gently pulled her off of him, Y/N’s features held a look of confusion and disappointment.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked as he pulled her into his lap, his burning shaft now pressing nicely against the curve of her backside. He could feel how wet she was as she pressed her center into his lower abdomen, soaking the coarse hair spattered across the skin there.

“No.” He shook his head, “No, you were absolutely perfect, sweetheart. I just… I want to be inside you before I finish.”

“Oh.” Y/N smiled shyly, her head dipping down in slight embarrassment. “Okay.”

“Do you think you’re ready for me?” He asked tenderly, placing kisses onto her cheeks. She closed her eyes against his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and nodding her head.

Soon she was on her back, head surrounded by Joel’s fluffy pillows. The sun had slowly dipped further down towards the horizon, only leaving a little bit of light left in the room. It was soft and gentle, caressing the two of them in dimming shades of blue. Joel braced himself over her, bicep flexing when he lowered himself to leave a kiss against her lips.

“I’ll start slow.” He whispered to her afterwards, leaning his forehead onto hers, a large hand smoothing over her outer thigh. The pressure of his fingertips were somehow soft within his guiding grasp, positioning her leg over his hip. A shock of pleasure erupted in Y/N’s core as she felt the length of Joel’s cock nestle in between her folds at this new position. Joel’s shoulders trembled, breathing growing heavy, his reaction to the same thing.

Y/N’s own breath hitched in her throat as Joel’s hands snaked between them. He wrapped his calloused fingers around his shaft, guiding the tip through Y/N’s slit and brushing it lightly against her clit. Simultaneous gasps intermingled in the air between their lips as they relished in the sensation.

“Joel.” Y/N whimpered, the unsaid words begging for more. He only nodded in return, his attention locked on the space between their hips, slowly growing smaller as he finally pushed the head of his cock inside of her.

Y/N could immediately tell the difference between this and his fingers. Before was barely anything compared to this. Now she was finally full, finally complete. And it was only the beginning as Joel slowly pushed himself deeper.

She whined at the stretch of him, fingernails scratching over his back. Joel wasn’t any better, hiding his face in the crook of her neck, releasing the most sinful of moans as he was slowly sucked in by her tight, wet warmth. The feel of her around him was more incredible than he imagined. So much so that he pushed in faster than intended, earning a sharp gasp from the woman beneath him. He stilled, immediately.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling away from her neck to gauge her true reaction. Her eyes were shut, bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

“‘m alright.” She replied, her heavy breathing causing her sensitive nipples to brush against Joel's chest, another spark of arousal surged through her bones. Another harsh moan was released from the man above her.

“Shit— baby, don’t do that.” He gritted his teeth.

Unknown to Y/N, when that bout of pleasure had traveled the length of her body, she had clenched around him at the sensation. The instance of which made Joel feel as though he might burst into flames. His cock jerked inside of her, the coil returning, slowly starting to unravel.

“Think you can take any more?” Joel questioned, once he could calm his beating heart as much as he could have.

“There’s more?” She stammered, confused since she already felt so full.

“Y-yeah there’s more.” Joel told her, trying his hardest not to move an inch, the task becoming increasingly difficult. Y/N released a shuddering breath.

“Yeah.” She nodded, “I can take it.”

“That’s my girl.” Joel chuckled airily, the affirmation causing a nice pool of warmth to settle in Y/N’s belly. But the feeling was soon replaced by the head of Joel’s cock as it moved deeper inside of her, the length of him making her believe he was truly proding into her stomach.

Slowly but surely the rest of him was sheathed inside of her, proven by the soft tickle of his pubic hair against her inner thighs. Joel let himself rest inside of her, allowing her to adjust to his size, his breathing deep and heavy as her walls squeezed around his cock.

She started squirming beneath him, desperate for him to do more.

“Please Joel.” She whimpered, “Move.”

“You want me to move, sweetheart?” He murmured, nipping at her earlobe with his teeth, her desperation causing something wicked within him to start teasing.

“Y-yes please, Joel. I need you.” She breathed, squeezing around him again. “Want you to fuck me.”

Joel’s entire body lurched at the words that slipped from her tongue. His heart hammering against his ribcage as it was completely unexpected. It caught him off guard, but he regained his bearings quickly, shaking free from the surprise as he took enjoyment from her dirty language.

“You do, huh?” He mumbled back, feeling her nod into his shoulder. “Is that what you want? For me t’ fuck you?”

“Yes.” She whined, a bit impatiently, more soft chuckles tumbled out of his lips.

“Okay, sweetheart.” He answered, “Anythin’ for you.”

And then he started moving. Slowly, so torturously slowly, sliding out until it was just his head that was left inside of her. Then, just as slowly he would sink all the way back in. He did that over and over again, causing an onslaught of pleasure to rip through the girl as the grooves of his cock carved into her walls so deliciously. She was a mess beneath him, shuddering and gasping with each slow movement he made.

Y/N arched into him, hands grasping at his back as he dipped his head, placing a kiss to her shoulder, moaning softly into her skin. Pleasure radiated throughout her body at every point of contact his skin had with hers, burning the brightest where the two of them connected. Even more so as Joel started to gradually speed up, still making long deep thrusts, but a little faster each time.

The bed started creaking beneath them, mixing in with the sound of their sensual moans as well as their skin slapping together in time with Joel’s thrusts. A cacophony of pleasure swirling around the room and serenading this moment as they finally connected in the way they always wanted to.

The sting of Joel’s size was now long forgotten as Y/N savored in the pleasure of him. Her arms were wound tightly around his neck, holding his head into her shoulder. She could feel his lips pressing into her skin, leaving deliberate kisses after each thrust. Her legs soon followed the same pattern as her arms, looping around his waist, pulling his body in close. Now there was no part of them left untouching.

His own arm soon snaked around her waist, drawing her in even closer if that was possible, her clit now firmly pressed against his pelvic bone. Y/N threw her head back with a deep moan, Joel’s lips attaching to her neck in record time. The heat low in her stomach returned from before, signifying that everything soon would come crashing down in a crescendo.

Joel’s cock twitched inside of her as he felt her walls fluttering around him. His own impending orgasm weighing heavy in his chest. He pulled his lips away from her skin.

“Look at me.” He said softly, despite the fact that his thrusts became sloppier by the second, his pace staggering as he involuntarily thrusted harder inside of her.

Y/N— despite struggling under the onslaught of her own oncoming orgasm, opened her eyes for him, meeting his soft brown gaze as they chased their highs. It was strange to see that gaze in this context, especially since the first time she saw it she would have never guessed this is where it would bring her. But now that she was here she couldn’t ask for anything she wanted more.

Except for one thing.

“Kiss me.” She said in return, and since Joel couldn’t deny her of anything, he did just that, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. The touch of it sending Y/N over the edge.

Joel felt as she came around his cock, squeezing onto him like a velvet vice, her cum gushing out around the base of him, soaking his skin. He moaned deep and heavy at the sensation, his own orgasm on the precipice. He placed his thumb on Y/N’s clit— hoping that will be enough to help her down from her high— as he pulled himself out of her.

He grunted with each spurt of cum splattering itself onto Y/N’s stomach, his free hand tight around his shaft, the length of it jerking in his hand. His thighs tensed as his orgasm shot out from his hips, shoulders trembling from the pleasure of it all, his heart racing.

Then, as the euphoria began to fade, his legs were weak as he sat back on his knees, chest heaving as he looked down at the mess he made on his beautiful wife.

His cum was shining white against her skin, the gleam of it reflecting in the moonlight as her stomach moved up and down with each passing of her shallow breaths. Her limbs were limp against the mattress, eyes hooded as exhaustion took over her form. He smiled softly at the sight of her, sliding a hand underneath her to bring her up to his level. He pulled her into his lap, holding her flush against his chest— not caring that his cum was now smeared across his own stomach.

“You did so well, sweetheart.” He whispered to her, stroking his knuckles across her cheekbone, she leaned into his touch, humming in content. Joel leaned forward, placing a kiss on her forehead.

They sat like that for a minute, savoring the silence between them and the embrace of their lover. But it didn't last too long as Joel spoke once more.

“Come on.” He abruptly said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, taking Y/N with him as he did. She whined when she realized she was being pulled away from the comfort of a warm bed.

“What? Why? I wanna sleep.” She argued when her feet hit the wooden floor beside his own, moving to dive back under the covers. He caught hold of her before she could.

“We gotta wash up.” Joel countered, pulling her towards the door that sat in the corner of the room, the mystery (that was not so mysterious) soon to be revealed.

“And then we can go to bed?” She questioned, as her shaking legs became more willing to follow him

“Not quite.” Joel grinned, guiding her into the shower. When she offered him a look of confusion at his words, he answered the question written on her face.

“We still have to make dinner.”

And soon, after all the proof of their passion was washed clean from their skin, underneath swirling puffs of cedar-scented steam and occasionally interrupted by stolen kisses, the two of them made their way down to their kitchen. And an hour later, as they sat across the table from one another, under the golden glow of their kitchen light. They divulged in their carefully prepared meal, sharing shy smiles and fleeting glances between each bite. The sight of them alone contradicting any statement that the island they resided on didn’t live up to its name.

~~~

A/N: honestly this fic was born because of the smut scene in the kitchen, i can't lie 😩 and then i rewatched the music video for adore you by harry styles so i wanted this oneshot to be something romantic and whimsical in it's nature, so i hope that came across. Is it corny? yes! but I had so much fun writing this so i hope you had fun too!!! thank you so much for taking the time to read my work !! and now i'll be leaving, goodbye forever!! <33

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hunnylagoon · 4 months

Text

Right Where You Left Me

Pt 2: Jailbird

Ellie Williams x reader

I want to write a poem about you but I’m afraid it won’t be enough. I almost feel ashamed that I want you to fit into a word because we both know that you are beyond anything that can be put on paper.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends before you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find there way back to each other. While you both visit home for winter break, events unfold and it is no longer possible to avoid each other.

Warnings: Angst / homophobia / brief violence / reader has religious issues

Part one here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

I may have been wrong to say that I could never hate Ellie. Fuck she was vicious, in the most passive-aggressive way too. She's so sly about it that I can't even get mad without seeming irrational.

Winter break finally rolled around and I had yet to make any progress with Ellie it was whatever the opposite of progress is. If she wanted to hate me, that was fine, I could do the same, I could be petty. It's now December and all of this bullshit started in September, she could hardly be courteous.

Fuck her.

I had survived mid-terms and finals but the way Ellie was acting had me skipping happily towards the edge. She will wash a whole sink of dishes and leave just my fork, or Venmo request me if I ate one of her grapes. Everything had gotten worse when Dina, Abby, and Cat all left to visit their families for winter break leaving just Ellie and I, without the girls there to hold us to the house rules we were at each other's throats.

She was foaming at the fucking mouth to tear me apart. There was no level-headed Abby or fun-loving Dina, not even Cat who was just mellow. Just me and Ellie verbally abusing each other. "Fuck off, with your wild animal teeth," I spat, slamming the dish cupboard closed with a loud thud.

"Wild animal teeth?" She repeats "Wow, you're getting creative, I'll give you that," Ellie's gaze held a certain bitterness "Heard you were on your knees again last night and I don't mean praying."

My eye almost twitches at her words and it takes everything in me not to throw a ceramic bowl at her. I hated her, I hated her freckled face, and eyes as sharp as knives, just hearing her raspy voice, and seeing her sardonic smile made me want to keel over and let the earth wrap me in her flourishing greenery. I often wanted that to happen. I was trying to refrain from going home as I didn't want to spend the entire break with my family but I was starting to think nothing was better than this, I was set to leave the following day (Christmas Eve) anyway but I was seconds away from grabbing my bag and jumping into my car. "Can you just learn to be fucking civil?"

"Why would-

"Because we were sixteen years old when that stupid shit happened!" I spat "You're holding a grudge from when we were sixteen," I reiterated, searching her features for some sign that I'd gotten through to her.

"It's not like you've changed since any of that happened." She stands, unnervingly calm on the other side of the kitchen island. "You were always awful since we were young, always crying, always emotional, always explosive, my dad said you're like a birch tree, one spark and you burst into flames."

"Fuck off."

"You always had to have the attention," Her eyebrows furrow "Nothing was your fault, blame being fucking erratic and insane on your parents."

"You don't know my parents half as well as you think you do."

"What don't I know about them? They've been in my life as long as you have."

"Ellie, stop," I say, suddenly I'm taken away from the mood to fight, I just want to scream into my pillow.

"What?" She asks "You're going to say some shit like 'they aren't loving' or 'you wouldn't get it' Please, enlighten me, what wouldn't I get?" She moves closer just an inch or so "Wow, your life sounds so hard, you have two parents who love each other and a huge fucking house, oh shit," Sarcasm drips from her tone "Maybe it's that trust fund that's taking a toll on you."

"Please, stop."

"You could commit every crime known to man and you would still be their pride and joy, there is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you-

"Here we go with your 'life is so fucking hard and I'm edgy and indie and I have a sad backstory that I'll bring up every second sentence even though I was seven when it happened' " I mock her.

She bites the inside of her cheek and I can tell that I've struck a nerve "You know when my lease-

"Don't even worry about it," I move out from the kitchen and begin towards my room, Ellie's eyes are trailing me "The minute my lease is up, I'm packing my shit and moving into student housing so I won't have to look at your fucking face while I'm eating!" I slam my bedroom door behind me.

I left that night, I couldn't bear the sound of her guitar strums, so repetitive it made me want to slam my head through the drywall.

You better believe that I cried my entire way home while blasting Julien Baker. My mother was pleasantly surprised to see me at her doorstep a day early, I knew Ellie would be coming down sometime tomorrow to spend the Holidays with her family, I didn't know when, I just knew that I didn't want to see her.

I never even told my parents that Ellie was my roommate and they hadn't heard it from Joel as they drifted when Ellie and I were fifteen.

My bedroom was exactly how I left, I cuddled into my twin bed that night sinking into the absolute silence of the the snowfall, with my dog Dusty curled at my side. I always loved the snow, the way it acted as soundproofing for the earth, when I was little I would just sit in the backyard so I could hear the birds sing in their purest and truest form.

Christmas Eve was dull to begin with, to say the least; my mom made Christmas tree-shaped waffles as she did every year, I was then dragged to an excruciatingly long church sermon. When we returned home I was sent to shovel the driveway, turns out visiting home from college doesn't excuse you from chores. I knew Ellie had arrived when I saw her grey sedan in Joel's driveway as well as Tommy's Range Rover. Bundled up in mittens and a hand-knitted scarf that Naomi gave to me I felt really tough giving the middle finger to Ellie wherever she was in Joel's house.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Elijah was cackling in the doorway. Dusty I happily bounding through the snow, paying to mind to my brother.

I immediately dropped my arm, trying to play nonchalantly "Uh, shoveling the driveway?"

His laughter only grew "You look so stupid," He huffed between cackles "You're standing in a foot of snow in the driveway giving Mr. Miller's house the middle finger in your cute little mitts."

"Say that louder, no one could hear you," I say, sarcastically.

"Hear ye, hear ye-

My eyes go wide and I drop the shovel to form a snowball and deck it at my brother "Shut up!"

"Ow!" He flinches, and his track and field hoodie from high school is now covered in powdered sleet. "Whatever," He yanks his hoodie off to shake the snow off of it "Just finish the driveway so we can watch a movie or something, I haven't seen you in months, Naomi and Aaron haven't shut up about you all holiday break."

I give him a mitted thumbs up before I try to speed run the shovelling, albeit slipping on black ice more than a few times. When I came back inside, I needed to change, my parka was dripping with snow that had melted into water.

I bundle up into sweatpants and an old soccer t-shirt. Being in my old room digs up memories pinned on my wall with bright thumbtacks year after year of photos of my soccer team, in every single one Ellie and I have our arms slung over each other. We're smiling wide and not focusing on the camera but on one another. I tear the picture away from the thumbtacks and throw them into a random shoe box that sits at the bottom of my closet. After that, I take down every artifact I have of Ellie, the drawings she made me, drafts of songs we wrote together, and t-shirts she left in my drawers, I throw it all into a Rubbermaid storage bin.

Though I leave the little wood carvings that Joel made for me alone.

My family's famous Christmas Eve dinner rolled around and I couldn't believe how excited I was, I'm not the best cook and despite me and my mother going through spats every other day, she was one hell of a good chef and I had spent months craving her honey roasted carrots and creamy mashed potatoes.

Please don't judge me when I say this, but we are the family that dresses up for dinners at home. Nothing black tie, just something a little dapper, one time I wore jeans to our family dinner and I was grounded for a week.

I finished zipping up my white sundress and I let my little sister tie a matching bow into my hair, when she saw what I was wearing she changed into her white dress which was ankle length while mine fell right above my knees.

"Oh, my sweet girls are matching again," My mom fawns over us "Let me get a picture of this cute little moment," I smile for the picture, and Naomi does the same, hooking an arm around my midriff. "Adorable," Mom looks at the picture before tucking her phone into her pocket "Now girls, please set the table."

Even though I hadn't been at home for months, setting the table was like muscle memory to me, Naomi put the placemats down, and then I did the dinner plate and salad plate, Naomi would place the napkins and cutlery then I would set glasses and pour everyone water from the pitcher. By the time we finished setting the table everyone aside from my mother and Elijah were at the table, early awaiting what was sure to be a filling dinner.

Slowly but surely my mom brought the dishes with Elijah, placing them all through the center of the dining table. After everything was placed my father, who sits at the head of the table cleared his throat, that was his signal for everyone to join hands. "Dear God, We gather today with grateful hearts to thank you for this food before us. We appreciate the effort and resources that have provided us with this nourishment. May this meal sustain our bodies and remind us of the many blessings in our lives. We are thankful for the love of family and friends who surround us and for the abundance we enjoy. Bless this food, our time together, and those who prepared it. May it strengthen us physically and spiritually. This is your body, this is your love. We thank you for feeding us with your gracious hands. In Jesus' name, we give thanks and pray. Amen."

"Amen," My family repeats before we all ravishingly fill our plates with chicken, maple-roasted mushrooms, buttered green beans, bread rolls, and mashed potatoes. I was eating so fast, I was shocked that I didn't spill anything on myself.

"So, have you met any cute boys at college?" My mother asks me, she is the only one eating politely "I'm sure you could get a real smart guy with those looks of yours."

My father nods "Just make sure he's Christian."

"Or catholic," My mother adds.

I laugh awkwardly in response, I take a sip of my water, the condensation making it slippery in my hands. Elijah gives me an odd look that goes unnoticed by my parents.

"I think we should drop off some bread or cookies or something to the Miller's, just something to say hi while Tommy and Maria are still there." My mom tells us, she isn't speaking to anyone in particular.

"Is Ellie there right now?" Aaron asks.

Elijah shrugs "Probably, her car is in the driveway."

Now Naomi is looking at me "We should invite her over for New Year's or something if she's staying for the rest of break."

My dad shakes his head "I don't know if that's a good idea," All eyes fall on him "It's just- I think she's a bit of a bad influence." He takes a swig of his wine and attempts to suppress a burp but fails. I press my lips into a thin line and look down at my plate to hold in my laughter, Elijah does the same beside me.

"I don't remember Ellie being a bad influence," Aaaron furrows his eyebrows, racking his brain to think of a time that she had done their family wrong.

"It's just that there were rumours of her having-" My father searches for the words "Unnatural tendencies I suppose, and I tried to talk to Joel about it but he got defensive and said that she didn't need fixing, that's how I lost my best fishing buddy."

My mom looks at the discomfort on all of her children's faces "I mean, we all need a bit of fixing."

Dad is quick to catch on "Oh, yeah, of course, I mean it's not just Ellie," He fumbles over his words "And it's not her fault that she's that way, I think It's because she lost her mother when she was young so she got confused about the parental roles, Joel never remarried and he didn't date around much so Ellie didn't have a proper mother figure, it's not her fault she's a dyke and there's still time to fix it if she wants to choose the right path."

Stillness falls over the table, I had never heard silence quite this loud. Even my mother is at a loss for words. All of my siblings are darting our eyes at one another, we don't utter a single word but we understand each other clearly 'Dad actually said it'.

He noticed this and tried to backtrack on his words "I'm not a bad guy, I mean we've all read the bible cover to cover, we know it's a sin. I'll wrap this up, you all know that we love you no matter what and all I'm saying is I'm glad we could distance ourselves away from it."

"Hey Dad, did you watch the Canucks game last week?" Elijah swoops in to change the topic. It's too late, a wave of sickness has already overtaken me.

While my family discusses nothing in particular, trying to ignore what Dad said, I am sick to my stomach, I push my plate away and prop my elbow the the table for my hand to support my head. I am nearly shaking. My dull eyes peer across the table and meet my father's drowsy gaze.

"Honey, are you feeling alright?" My mom pauses whatever conversation she is enwrapped in.

I don't respond, I don't know how.

My family's eyes find a resting place on my figure. Mom pushes herself away from her chair and walks over to me, she places one hand between my shoulder blades, the other takes my cold hand and she slowly rubs a circle on my back to comfort me. "Sweetness, whatever is repressed inside, say it, let it out, we're all family."

Naomi nods in agreement, her wide eyes full of concern. "I don't know how to say it," I tell them.

"Air it out," My dad says, finishing off his glass of wine and pouring himself another "Today is the perfect day, tomorrow is the birth of Jesus, a fresh start."

My heart is racing faster than it ever has before, faster than when I broke my wrist in Ellie's backyard or when I had been on a rollercoaster for the first time. "I like girls," I say, my voice is quiet, and my three words take my family with silence. My mother freezes and takes a step back, her comforting hands leaving me.

"You're joking," My dad scoffs "Tell me this is a joke and you're normal."

"I can't," My voice cracks and I can already tell that the tears are oncoming. I think briefly back to Ellie's words 'There is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you' if only she could see what was about to happen.

"All of those sleepovers with Ellie?" He is disgusted, his face contorting with horror "Were you dating her?"

"no-

"How can I believe anything you say, you lied to us for nineteen years when you knew you were sick."

"Dad, I'm not sick-

"How many sinful acts have you done under this roof?"

"None, I swear," I shake my head, it took less than a minute for me to be filled with regret at my words. I shouldn't have even come home for the holidays, actually, I never should've found Dina's listing and jumped at the deal.

"Get out," Any light tone in my dad's voice is gone, replaced by pure resentment.

"What?"

"You heard me, get out."

"Dad, it's Christmas Eve-

"Get out!" His voice rumbles through the dining room like thunder "I thought we fixed this phase when we sent you to boarding school."

"Please, dad-

"Get up and get out or I'm going to make you,"

"Fine- make me," Tears prick in my eyes but I cross my arms trying to muster up that false coolness Ellie is so good at feigning.

My dad slams his glass down so hard that it shakes the table, and the partially empty wine bottle my parents had been nursing all night is knocked over by the abruption, tipping over the deep red liquor to travel down the tablecloth and drip onto what was once my pure white dress. "Get up!" He grabs a fistful of my hair and I scream from the shock of pain. He yanks me off my chair and my face slams against the hardwood when his arm slumps, impact heavy from the sudden drop, it doesn't take long for my nose to start bleeding. He drags me to the door pushing it open; my siblings don't do anything they're petrified in horror and my mother begins to cry, covering her eyes from the scene before her.

My dad doesn't stop at the door, I thrash on the ground and he pulls me over both of my hands trying to pry his away from the roots of my hair, he drags me into the snow, finally releasing me. I shake as my hand gently finds the way to my burning scalp where I fully believe he has pulled out clumps of my hair with his harsh and unforgiving grasp.

From the doorway the rest of my family watches, Naomi has a hand covering her mouth her doe eyes brimming with tears of her own. My father disappeared into the house, it didn't take long to see what he was doing he slammed the window to make the bedroom open and began to throw all of my belongings out of the window. My pictures, my old soccer uniform, armfuls of clothes from my old beaten dresser, candles, books, paints, and shredded posters were torn straight off my wall.

"Dad, stop, I'm sorry, I'll get better!" I am on my knees, hands clasped together pleading with him. My skin is burning from the contact with the snow, I know that it must be a horrific sight to behold. White sundress, stained with wine, tangled hair, red-tinged skin, puffy eyes and incoherent sobs.

The snow makes everything so quiet the only sound travelling through the night are my sobs. I can no longer see my father in my bedroom, he is coming back down and somehow that is worse, he pushes past my family and throws the presents I was supposed to receive on Christmas morning beside me, I flinch at the movement.

"I'm sorry!" I plead like I'm bargaining with the Grimm Reaper for my life "Give me a job and I'll do it, just tell me what to do to get better!" The screaming carries through the night, alerting the neighbours in what was supposed to be a calm and quiet neighbourhood. Across the street, Joel turns on his porch light, squinting his eyes at the scene on the opposing lawn and trying to make sense of it. "I want to get better!" I shake with every sob. I could hear my dogs barking from the loud noises.

My dad shakes his head "You're too far gone, I didn't raise a fucking dyke," He is almost crying himself, he doesn't mourn for the daughter that he has but the daughter that could've been. The daughter who donned white every Sunday for church and settled down with a nice family man, a daughter who was holy but in this moment I am the purest form of holiness, born again from the violence of my father.

"Dad, I was created in God's image, why would he create his child to be this way if it was so wrong?"

"You're a fucking mistake is what you are," He seethes "Get off my property or I'm calling the cops."

"You still have my bags!" I scream and I watch him retreat to get them "Are you going to do anything at all?" I search my family for any sign of life but they all avert their eyes from mine. My father comes back out, and he throws my purse and suitcase on the lawn, this time both of them hit me, talking about kicking someone when they're down.

My dad begins to usher the family inside "I never want to see you again, get your ass up and start working, I'm not paying for you to fuck around with women instead of getting an education."

"That's it?" I cry "You won't come to my wedding or meet my kids? What about my funeral?"

"Not as long as you're with a woman." With that, he slams the door behind him and locks it. I let out another guttural sob, I've already cried so much that it's beginning to hurt within my stomach. I take a deep and shaky breath in, wiping the tears away from my eyes with my freezing hands, I'm sure to catch hypothermia if I don't warm up. I look up to see my neighbours all around either watching from their window or in the Miller family's case, the front porch. I'm sure that someone has already called the police.

"Let me in, I'm sorry!" I scramble off the ground and begin to bang on the door. Shaking the handle "Let me in!" This goes on for longer than I would've liked, I hammer on the door and scream as loud as I can but they all ignore me. Eventually, I stand by the window and slam my hands on it "Let me in or give me my fucking dog, you can't take care of him!"

I knew I was fucked when I heard sirens. It only made sense for the neighbours to call the cops at this disturbance.

I'm going to do you all a favour and tell you some useful information; when the police arrive and you don't wanna seem guilty, don't try to drive away from the scene because you might just end up getting handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car for your childhood bestfriends family to watch from their front row seats.

"Prison life isn't for me," I wallow as I press myself against the bars of the holding cell. There are two other women in the cell with me and they both snigger. One of their names is Lucia, and she has bronze skin and brown hair so dark that it almost looks black with gold hoop earrings the size of my head, I don't know the other woman's name but she looks significantly older and has stringy blonde hair, the wrinkles of her face drooping.

"Honey, this isn't prison, you'll live another hour," Lucia sits on the uncomfortable bench, her arms crossed, she's kind of hot to be blunt.

"You reek of liquor though," Blondie cackles and I catch a glimpse of her rotting yellow teeth, what's the opposite of pearly whites? Golden nuggets? Something like that.

"Because I got wine spilled on me," I retort. I had been crying before they even placed me in the cell, wailing so loud that I was annoying the officers. I was so upset and starved for affection that I hugged the officer who detained me, babbling incoherently about how my life was ruined, I don’t even blame them for arresting me, I looked like a crackhead trying to break into a nice suburban home. “I'm not drunk."

"Could've fooled me," Lucia smirks, she's wearing a black tank top and skinny jeans. I wasn't a fan of skinny jeans but she was converting me.

I fell asleep hugging myself on one of the uncomfortable metal benches with chipped blue paint, when I woke up, it was Christmas, even though it didn't feel like it. I saw the snowfall outside of the windows on the other side of the cells. Lucia had told me just before she was released that they had the right to hold you longer over holidays, I wanted to weep all over again.

Blondie got removed from the cell too and I was all alone. The only thing that kept me sane was pretending I was Katniss or Lucy Gray, if they had survived the Hunger Games, I could survive this. I genuinely thought my life was over and I was getting sent to prison for hammering on my dad's door and screaming.

With each hour that ticked by, my profound sense of loneliness only grew. The sounds of distant laughter flitted through the hall and I am reminded of the world that lies beyond the metal bars. I wonder what my family is doing at this moment, every voice that I hear acts as a reminder of the love I had jeopardized. I lost Ellie, I lost Conner, and now I had lost my family.

I think about praying to god for a moment though I discard the thought. If he was real why did he let that happen to me? Maybe forgiveness and redemption were not necessary.

"Crybaby, call someone to pick you up," Officer Reid who initially arrested me and interrogated me began to unlock the cell, "Charges are dismissed." He had been calling me Crybaby since I was stuffed in the back of the police car and wailing uncontrollably.

"Like for real?"

He was in fact, for real. I was brought to a landline phone and my hands acted faster than my head, dialling the number of someone I would trust with my life, I just prayed that the number hadn't changed.

After making my call I was told to go to a weird booth thing to collect my effects, where an old and very judgmental woman dumped my few belongings out of an envelope. I wish I knew the technical names for this stuff but it's not like I've been arrested before this one off occasion. She looked at each of the items, stating what it was while she took inventory of it. "Smartphone, lipgloss, a single gold earring, and a cross necklace," She marks something down and then turns the paper around and holds out a blue pen for me to take "Sign here."

My phone had died already, I was missing an earring, and the cross had failed me, all I had left to rely on was my cover girl lipgloss. I sat in that stark grey room for what seemed like hours, everyone seemed miserable as I am, at least I wasn't the only person having a not-so-merry Christmas.

Holy shit, I was still disgusting. I was sticky and freezing, still in the wine-ruined white dress, there was still dried blood on my face despite my pestering Lucia to help me get it off. My hair is tangled, the bow that my sister had tied in lost somewhere in the snow. I haven't looked in a mirror but I know I look rough from the side glances that everyone is casting me. I can't imagine the dark bags beneath my red, puffy eyes to be any sort of appealing.

The sterile waiting room is beginning to get on my nerves, I flinch at every movement and hold onto hope that every person walking through the door is the person I'm waiting on. I try my best to avert my eyes from the clock so time doesn't drag on any longer than it already is.

By the time Joel gets here, the sun is beginning to set, his eyes frantically search the room until they land on me, I'm already standing up and walking toward him. "Kiddo, are you okay?"

My lip quivers and it feels like every awful thing I've ever felt is going to seep through my teeth. My head falls onto his chest but this time I don't cry, I think I've run out of tears "I have nothing ahead of me."

Joel doesn't ask questions, he just hugs me in return, resting his chin on the top of my head, there is the comfort I had been so desperately searching for.

He signs release papers and he guides me to his red Ford Explorer. When I called him I asked him to bring me shoes as I was barefoot when I was detained, being the number one dad that he was, he brought a reusable grocery store tote bag, containing a hoodie, sneakers, fuzzy socks, sweatpants and a bag of my favourite chips. I slip the sweats on underneath my dress while the hoodie goes overtop, I awkwardly unzip it and shimmy it off, stuffing it into the tote bag.

The drive back to his house begins and he turns on the radio, trying to make lighthearted chatter "Thanks for coming to get me," I say, my voice is quiet and I pull my knees to my chest like as I tend to do when I get nervous "You can just drop me off at my car and I'll be out of your way."

"Sorry, kiddo," He says, eyes focused on the road "You're staying with me tonight, I don't want you driving these roads in the dark and it'll be good for you to have a hot shower and a warm meal, get some sleep somewhere that's not a holding cell."

"It's just that-

"If you still want to leave in the morning that's up to you but you shouldn't end your Christmas alone," Each word seems so genuine "And you know I would gladly have you stay with me three hundred and sixty-five days a year."

I look at him, a soft melancholic smile on my face, "Thank you," I say.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

A sigh falls from my lips "What happened to all of my stuff that was left on the lawn?"

"Tommy and Ellie brought it all inside."

Ellie brought it back inside? Did she actually give a shit or was this something her dad ordered her to do? "Did my dad say anything to you?"

Joel shakes his head "Maria went barging on his door, those two were in a screaming match for a good two minutes before he locked the door on her. Hasn't been outside since, everyone in the neighbourhood has been coming by to ask what happened."

"Even Sharron?" I ask Joel, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"Even Sharron," He solidifies. Sharron was the grouchy crone of the street, shutting down every party, cussing out teenagers from her porch, and yelling at barking dogs "She said she was worried about you." The windshield wipers painted rhythmic patterns across the glass, clearing a path through the soft snow that continued to fall.

"She's not worried about me, she's worried I'm on drugs and I'll break into her musty home to steal all of her hummels."

Joel huffs a laugh "I can't believe that I used to let her babysit you and Ellie."

"Me neither, you should be paying for my therapy." I tease.

He chuckles at my words, "So you're majoring in wildlife biology?"

"You remembered what I wanted to major in?"

"Of course I did."

"Hey, Mookie!" Tommy wraps his arms around me the moment I set foot in the door. He's called me Mookie since I was a little girl, it started when I couldn't pronounce monkey and thus Mookie was born. "Let me get a good look at you," He pushes me back just the slightest hands clasped on my shoulders "Look at that bruise you've got on your cheek, looking awful tough, like those greasers you used to read about."

"Look at that, Mookie grew up," Maria greets me with a warm smile, pushing Tommy away to hug me "Good to see you made it through prison alive," She jests.

Joel's house is exactly how it was when I left.

The air carried the familiar scent of firewood and lavender incense. In the living room, an inviting fireplace stood as the heart of the home. Its gentle crackle and the dancing flames provided a soothing backdrop to the overstuffed couches adorned with cozy blankets and throw pillows, worn from years of shared family movie nights. A well-loved rug covered the wooden floor, its pattern a mosaic of memories and spills easily forgiven and of course, a coffee table hand-crafted by Joel and intricately carved.

The shelves lining the walls were a treasure trove of family history. Photographs in mismatched frames captured smiling faces frozen in time, chronicling the evolution of Ellie through the years. A collection of well-read books, their spines creased and pages worn, stood proudly, offering a glimpse into the literary adventures that had unfolded within those walls.

The kitchen, the heart of many childhood homes, held the lingering aroma of Christmas dinner. The countertops, scarred from countless meals prepared and shared, were a testament to the love that had gone into creating family dinners. A worn wooden table in the center of the room bore witness to the countless conversations, celebrations, and moments of solace shared over shared meals.

"You know what, when I was around your age, I spent my fair share of time in the cooler, good to see you're taking after me," Tommy winks and gives me a hard pat on the back. Neither of them acknowledges the reason behind last night's events and somehow it feels worse than talking about it.

"We've just finished up making dinner, I'm sure you're hungry," Maria smiles softly, taking my hand into her calloused one.

"Yeah, I'm starving," I smile in return and trail behind the blonde woman to the dining table.

All of the plates are laid out with portions of food on each one, Ellie is sitting alone, spooning mashed potato into her mouth while she texts someone, she glances up at me and offers nothing more than a tight-lipped smile and awkward wave before going back to her phone. Tommy comes by with a tray of garlic butter rolls and uses tongs to add more onto my plate "Don't think I've forgotten how much you love these."

I grin up at him, I'm sitting in the same chair I sat in all those years ago when I Ellie and I would settle down after spending all day in the sun, Joel would ask us what we wanted for dinner and almost every time we would shout hotdogs.

"Good to have you back," Joel nods to me "House always felt a little empty without you."

I always felt a little empty without this house "Good to be back," I smear some mashed potato onto Tommy's famous garlic butter bread rolls.

I feel almost sick with nostalgia as I look around the dining room, Joel still had Ellie's crafts from elementary school hung up and if you look closely, you find little clues that I've left behind; proof that I once existed as a girl beneath this roof. There's a dent in the wall from the time I stood on my chair to catch a spider and accidentally fell over, my head hitting right into the wall, Ellie was laughing too hard to help me.

"So what school do you go to?" Maria asks me, washing down her pot roast with some ice water.

"Northridge actually," At my words, Ellie's head perks up, she's looking dead at me with a look of fear in her eyes.

"Oh, Ellie goes there!" Tommy smiles "She never mentioned that you do too."

Ellie is silently pleading with me, I know she doesn't want me to tell her family that she's been borderline tormenting me as my roommate and sending me to bed with tears in my eyes. I didn't plan on telling them anyway "That's funny, I guess we just keep missing each other."

Joel set up an air mattress in Ellie's room, that's when it became clear to me that he had no idea just how bad the fallout was between us. I hate to say that I missed her room and all of the memories we shared in it.

Ellie's bedroom resembled something of a teen guy who'd never gotten laid before. She had a navy comforter, her shelves were lined with comics and novels, I know for a fact that she'd read every single one of them. Her desk was always a mess, covered in pages of poetry and sketches that she had torn out from her journal. Almost every inch of her walls is covered in posters of bands, movies and her nerdy video games.

I was fresh out of the shower, finally in my clean clothes that I had dug out of my suitcase. I got to charge my phone too, there was an overwhelming number of messages.

D-Manz: HAPPY CHRISTMAS BITCH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T WAIT TO PARTY WHEN WE GET BACK

Jesse: Merry Christmas, hope your day isn’t shit! 😁😁😁

Riley: Merry Christmas! Hope you're having fun at your new school!

Abs: Merry Christmas and stay safe!

Kayla: Missing you girl ☹️ so excited for that staff party!

Kit-Cat: Merry Christmas, don't have too much fun without me

Yara: Merry Christmas ❤️ this probably isn't the time but I was hoping you could send over your notes from the last conservation lecture, just wanna text you before I forget!

566-460-4374: I got your number from Kyle, this is Roderick, I saw you last night and wanted to check up on you, hope everything is okay and merry Christmas.

Lindsey: Hey, haven't talked to you in a while but my parents said some stuff went down, just wanna make sure you're okay.

Ellie: Lmk if you need a ride back to our place

Ellie: Don't know if you can even see this but I got all of your stuff off the lawn, I promise it's safe 👍

Naomi: I'm so sorry

Naomi: I didn't think that would happen

Naomi: I didn't know what to do

Naomi: I love you

Aaron: U good?

Naomi: Please don't hate me, I'm sorry I didn't do anything

Elijah: Sorry but I wish you didn't tell Dad that

Naomi: I'll try to talk to Dad

Elijah: Hope you're safe

Elijah: Call me when you can

Still, there wasn't any word from either of my parents. I replied returning well wishes and assuring everyone that I was okay, I turned my phone onto Do Not Disturb and began to watch the Hunger Games on my phone. The room would've been pitch black if it wasn't for the blue light from my screen and the gentle beams of moonlight gliding through the window.

Ellie walks into the room after she finishes with her shower, she's in sweatpants and an old hoodie that she got from a rodeo, I had the same one, and we bought them together. I glance up at her before looking back at my movie and pulling the quilt further up my body. "You still like the Hunger Games?"

"Yeah," I say, being as brief as possible.

"You should take my bed and I'll sleep on the air mattress," Ellie says while she ties her hair into a low ponytail.

"I'm fine here, thanks."

"Seriously," Ellie is standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed, waiting for me to do something.

I shut my phone off and turned on my other side to face away from her "Just go to bed."

Ellie runs her hands down her face in frustration, she's starting to feel like an asshole "Please take the bed, it's the least I can do." I ignore her so she speaks again "I am begging you," She tells me bluntly "I feel like a dick and it would make me feel better if you just took the bed."

"You are a dick," I answer, she should've seen this response coming from a mile away.

"Please take the bed."

I sit up to look at her, frustration now boiling up inside of me "You're going to be nice now because you feel bad for me?"

"That's not why-

"It is actually," I tell her "This will last for a few days and then we'll go home and you'll be a cunt all over again, fucking keeping a list of everything I lay a finger on so you can say it's my fault if it breaks." She bites the inside of her cheek, that's her tell. Every time she does that I can tell that I've gotten under her skin. "You'll still act like you don't know me and I'm just some weird girl who thinks the world of you, I know what you say to those girls you have over, the walls aren't that thick." My insides ache from all of the screaming and crying of the past couple of days "And I know that I hurt you and I've told you a million times over that I'm sorry, you don't get to start having empathy for me now."

Ellie's silent again, she can't seem to find the words, so instead she slips under the covers of her bed, giving up. Minutes pass us, we've slept in this room together a thousand times but this time it's different, we don't share her queen bed and stay up all night watching the walking dead and talking shit about people at our school, we lay in the uncomfortable silence. We're grown but in this moment I still feel like a child searching for her mother's hand to guide her, I feel like my teeth still need to fall out so brighter, stronger ones can take their place, that the baby fat has yet to shed from my bones.

"I didn't know that you liked girls," Ellie said, breaking the silence "And I shouldn't have assumed that stuff about your parents." I don't respond to her, though she knows that I heard her. "I lied that night when you moved in."

"What?"

"I got all bitchy and said that you don't even cross my mind, I was lying," She's confessing to me as if I'm a priest "There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you."

I'm not doing well.

I want nothing more than to crawl into bed next to Ellie and just hug her until I fall asleep but the resentment I've garnered for her these past months refrains me.

"I don't know if you ever knew this, but back in high school I had a bit of a crush on you," She says and my break hitches in my throat "Hey, you there?"

'I don't know if you ever knew this but I turned myself inside out trying not to be in love with you.' I don't say that, instead, I say "Goodnight, Ellie, Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight," She mutters, and like me, she turns her body to face away from me.

I don't feel mature in the slightest, I'm kept awake, haunted by shame and embarrassment. Ellie had seen me only one night prior, on my knees begging for love. We may be cold and calculated to one another now but I remember when she was a little girl who overwatered her plants because she didn't know how to stop giving.

TAG LIST I just tagged whoever wanted a part two: @elliesaesp @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @elliesaturnsoftdrink @mikellie @melanie-watermelon @skylerwhitwyo

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silvershiningtarot · 22 days

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💋👅💋PAC: What Is Destiny Between You and Your FS in This Lifetime?

Disclaimer: These are all SEVEN PILES. About your Destiny with you and Your FS. Remember this is just a general Reading. So take a chance to breathe in and out and meditate on these SEVEN piles.

Pile 1 🌅 Pile 2 🤭 Pile 3 👋🏽

PILE 4 🙈 Pile 5 🥲 Pile 6 💋

PILE 7 🔮

Pile 1: The dynamic between you and Your FS seems to be a mutual understanding. I’m sensing that y’all destiny in this lifetime. You two will go on vacation a lot. I hear “tropical island.” someplace on the island you two will go away a lot. Some of you or your spouses are submissive or I'm getting submissive dominance. Again, your spouse can be just a submissive kind of person. There isn’t anything wrong with that honestly. Haha, I can see a few of you being submissive to your FS. I think they bring this side of you that you let your guard down with them. I heard “safe with them”. You are safe with them. I was right! In this lifetime, you two will feel at home with each other. I told you that comfortability. This is part of y’all destiny. Remember this is just the energy for right now. But the two of you will feel right at home together. I'm hearing “This is where the heart belongs.” no matter what you both have an unbreakable bond and an unbreakable connection as well. So I think your FS or you might be Co-dependence on each other. I feel that It can be healthy. So let's see how you guys handle the ups and downs in y'all dynamic. Wow ❕ if some of y’all don't know what Cloud 9 love is then do your research. But wow 😮 you two will make each other very happy. That's crazy I didn't use my tarot cards but I'm seeing in my head the Ten Of Cups. In the beginning, I feel that it's gonna be mutual between you two. I am sensing that a few of you will have a beautiful mutual connection with your FS. There's a mutual feeling with you both. Both of you will know what each other is thinking. You have a telepathic connection. Both of you will finish each other sentences. This is a deep spiritual romance, which means that you two share a deep bond and you two travel to see each other. If some of you have seen y'all FS in y'all dreams before. Wow, your husband/wife will spoil the shit out of you. I see them buying expensive clothes, jewelry, and Teddy 🧸. I can see you crying cutely because maybe nobody ever did that for you but I feel that you two will pamper each other. I think that your FS likes to be pampered. They just like that. Haha 🙈. I believe that A Few of you will be dating your FS quickly. I am hearing in the next two weeks. So two weeks of getting to know each other then bam you guys going on vacation together, ice 🍨 and having a fun time. I believe that you two will move in together. That's part of y’all destiny in this lifetime. Okay, I had a vision that I saw you two on the couch, I can see them I'm a little nervous 😰 about asking you out. I heard them say “I never felt this way before.” for some of you I can see it. Woah, I had another vision of seeing them buying you a bouquet of flowers, and they are walking up to your front porch wearing a suit and tie and telling you how they feel about you. Aww, I keep seeing the bouquet 💐. Beautiful. Both of you will be doing a lot of inner child healing. This dynamic reminds me of Joan and Ellis in a sense. If you guys remember that show Girlfriends. Watch their kind of dynamic. So I believe that you two are meant to heal a lot together. Maybe, you two will watch TV shows both of you used to watch when you were kids. I'm feeling that. Your Spouse is your soulmate whether it is a friend or family but I'm getting a sense that they are soul family and best friend. Look how fast you two got comfortable with each other. Breath Of Fresh Air This is y'all new beginning. You'll feel better and awaken whenever you are around your FS and Vice versa. Wow 😯 a lot of times you two will skip work and missed out a lot of responsibilities. For example: Your husband/wife supposed to work around 9 AM but turn off their alarm clock. I feel that you both are gonna be doing that. Especially, when it comes to business. That’s why I feel like you two will skip out on work and other responsibilities. Oh yeah, manipulative female maybe, they'll be a manipulative Female in your FS life, or y'all lives. I sense that this female could be gaslighting y'all dynamics. Maybe, it could be jealousy.

Maybe, your FS used to sleep with this lady or hang out with them. I'm getting a third-party situation here but it isn't going to last long. In this dynamic, I can see that your FS will be flirting with you or you'll be flirting with them. Aww, how cute is that? They'll be making corny jokes. Finding ways to make you laugh. They'll be doing anything to impress you. Oh yeah, I had a little vision I can see it right now. So I see you two in the park eating ice cream. I can see them making an ice cream joke. They just put their head down while blushing. Haha 😂 I can see it. It's adorable. Rubbing your thighs or rubbing theirs. I feel that you'll notice that your FS likes you. Yes! Some of you will lose your virginity to your FS. But for a Few Of you, I feel that you won't lose faith in this connection with your FS but you'll be going on dates with them I feel that it will be y'all first time on a date. It's going to feel like a breath of fresh air. They'll make this date special. Making romantic getaway dates for you. Some of you'll be close to your FS. Wow, I can see in this lifetime with your FS it is going to be romantic as fuck. I see them taking you out to fancy restaurants and making your day special for you. Both of you are on the right path with each other. I feel that you two will guide each other on the right path. The second you turn left they'll pull you back in that path. Whenever you're feeling down I feel that your FS will fucking uplift you and make sure you don’t fall back down. Oh, I think that you are your FS divine feminine. So that means in my opinion, I believe that this is your Divine Masculine. The fact that divine feminine came out makes me think that you and your FS are divine counterparts. In this life, you are meant to marry your FS. That is part of the destiny between you and them. I sense that in this life no more second chances for that ex of theirs. Intimacy wow, you two will be bonding with each other. I'm hearing “getting to know each other.” I feel a strong sense of that. I feel that for some of you. Few of you, I truly think that you two will be magnetically attracted to each other. The moment you two meet each other. It going to be like bam! I can hear your FS saying “Who is that?” I can see a little scene where FS you were in some art gallery and they were wearing nice black suits and I see you guys walk inside. Then they turn around and just glimpse at you. You glimpse right back at them. It is like a tickle in your eye. If that makes sense. I don't know if you guys have seen those movies when the girls finally meet their one true love. That's how I feel. They are a player but when I see players I see them as if they like players in video games. Like an old-school way. I feel that most of your FS will be committed to you and vice versa. Wow, even a proposal came out for you! Ahh!!! I'm happy about that. So in this lifetime you and your FS. Are meant to be married even if some of you don't believe in marriage then will change your perspective on it. That's what I feel about it. Haha 😂 wow, I’m hearing “they won’t mind.” So they won’t mind you using their credit card to go shopping or whatever you wanna do with it. I feel that for some of you, this is your karmic companion. But for most of you, I feel this is your life partner. Hmm. Both of you have to make a decision. I don't know what it is but that's between you and your FS. You meant to be in business with them. Business collaboration! In this lifetime you are meant to be business with them whatever it is. Your FS is very masculine that doesn't mean they are healthy masculine energy. If that makes sense. So yes, whatever gender you prefer they are masculine or vice versa. I feel that you two will act like marry a couple when you guys hang out with each other. I feel your spouse will invite you over to their house all the time. You won't mind because you like staying over there. I'm hearing “That's your security.” I'm hearing for this type of love language Quality time is important for you two. Which is a good thing.

Remember you two give each other balance. I feel that you two won't lose sight of each other. Like if you need space they'll give you the space and vice versa. They would want to marry you. Maybe, you two will plan a wedding together. In this lifetime you are meant to marry your Spouse. Yay! Maybe, some of you felt in a past life you couldn't marry your FS because of the interruption so now you can. Oh, counterpart! Yes, I'm excited for you guys. So I feel that you are their feminist and they are your masculine or the other way around. Either way, it is fucking awesome to me. I'm happy about that. This is your other half. Yes! Most of you, I think your FS is famously known. It doesn't matter if they are celebrities. But I feel that they are famously known for their community. Everyone knows their name and they have amazing things to say about them if that makes sense. I honestly, feel right now they are fucking around with other chicks or dudes right now. So yeah, some of your FS is fucking around. Yes! They are your ultimate soulmate. I feel that you two were made for each other. That means your soul was created for them and vice versa. I'm happy to deliver that. Honestly. Good luck to you guys and your destiny in this lifetime. Remember energy changes all the time. So if you two had to meet right now this is what you've been going through.

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Pile 2: Your Fs is the type to slow dance and set up the house with candles 🕯️. I definitely, see it happening. I heard “impress you.” I felt that some of you, your FS had a life before you. This means that before you enter their life they'll tell you something about them you probably be shocked or you probably know already about them. Whether it is kids or something else. I can feel that some of y’all spouses don’t have kids. I don’t feel that. But I feel that. See! I think that the universe will leave it up to you. On whatever you decide to do. If your spouse has kids what are you gonna do? Are you going to continue being with them or hit the bricks? Or again, if you have something it is up to your spouse to decide to be with you. Let me just say this as simple as possible. It is up to both of you, free will decide if you wanna be with each other period. Regardless of the circumstances. Whatever if they had a past before you or vice versa. That's the past we’ve all done stupid shit and honestly, no choices that we made were good choices. We live and learn. AWE, the two of you are each other’s perfect match. You equal them and they equal you. If that makes sense. Awe, you've met your perfect match in this lifetime whatever that is. Whichever gender you prefer. Go ahead and be happy forever. So, I feel that some of you will not like them in the beginning. But there is something about them you can't get enough of. That's what I feel. Okay, I don't know if some of you have ever seen The Wizard Of Waverley Place the show. Have you ever seen it? Okay, just imagine if Alex and Justin weren't siblings at all and they met as friends they would get together. What I'm saying is if you guys look on YouTube and watch some videos of them you'll see how Justin and Alex's dynamic is you'll understand the point of this destiny. Anyway, both of you have an odd chemistry. Both of you I feel like you two will argue a lot. Sometimes it will be playful and sometimes it isn't. But I would love to see it. In this lifetime I would love to. Haha 😂 crazy. Your FS dealt with one-sided love before. They've dealt with a lot of bullshit and maybe, that was the life before you came. So they have some secrets you might be like “Oh, fuck.” is that what I'm feeling. Like a Yikes moment. Your FS is your ultimate soulmate for some of you. This is part of your destiny. You had found them. In this lifetime you are meant to be with your match made in heaven. If that makes sense. Now, you two will have an inseparable connection. Can't nothing break you two apart? See! I was right! Most of you I feel that you are going to find your soulmate. Maybe, not your high-vibe soulmate but you are meant to be with your soulmate is gonna make you happy for the rest of your life. I'm getting buddy vibes between you and them. It just means you two will get along very well. They are dreaming about you. I heard “Since they were a child.” they have been dreaming about you since you two were kids. You guys have perfect harmony and you'll see through their bullshit and they'll see through yours. It is like you can't fake it for them. No matter how hard you try to hide your emotions they'll figure it out. I heard them say “You can't hide from me.” I know you will say the same thing to them. They could have a beard. Aww, both of you will be emotionally supportive of each other. They'll be interested in you. I can see you two will be going out on dates a lot. Y'all romance will be blooming. I sense either you or them will try to sabotage this destiny by delaying it. So I felt them working on them pulling you back into their life. Oh yeah, I can see you two hooking up 😍. I feel like some of you I can hear “Ugh, you are such a little devil.” I can hear you say that to them. You'll become an addict to them or it can be vice versa. But you two will be learning and expanding each other's mindset. Or it can be before you two meet you two will be entering a new phase and start preparing for union. So I am happy about that. I think I was right in the beginning.

They are your divine masculine so that means you are their divine feminine. You need to trust your inner knowing (Intuition). You have to trust how you feel. Whoever that it is. Trust that this person is for you. Whoever you are thinking about feeling about or dreaming about. Trust what you feel. I know it is hard we let fear block the opportunities that are right in front of us. I'm sorry for preaching. But I feel like both of you need to trust y'all intuition when you two come into union. I feel even now they are thinking about you now. They do miss you. I feel for this pile. They'll be co-dependent on you. I heard “obsessive.” so it can get unhealthy. That's why you would need space from them. I feel like some of you would need space from them. Few of you, I don't think that you do. But they will miss you a lot whenever you are busy schedule or just hanging out with your friends. They will be missing you. I heard “Their spirit is missing you.” if that makes sense. See! A lot of obstacles you two will be going through together. That's why I say sabotaging. Fuck! There is a lot of blockage between you two. It's like a wall! You are on the other side and they are on the other side of the wall too. See I was right! Crossroad! You two have to decide what you both want in y'all lives. It is like they'll be stuck you probably gonna walk away from them and vice versa. It is like making up your mind. Okay, I think before they had gotten robbed. Like home invasion. But I feel like you two will get into a heated conflict. I'm hearing “It'll be resolved.” you will marry your soulmate for a long time. But I have a feeling that you will have another romantic soulmate that's out there. Your FS will feel like you are a twin flame. So they gonna feel like you two share one soul. I will do a twin flame reading about it. But I felt in my heart that two romantic soulmates would come in. I think that you have to decide which one you will choose. Two romantic people are coming your way. Oh yes, you two will meditate when you wake up in the morning and during the night. It is going to be your two guys' routine. So yeah, in this lifetime you gonna have to choose who. Oh my god, this other romantic soulmate is a Mars-dominant. I'm hearing them say “I always get what I want.” oh yeah! Feel it in my heart this other one isn't going to give up. I keep looking at that card! This other romantic soulmate is a Mars dominant. Oh my god, my question is are you ready for this? You are meant to reconcile with your soulmate again. In this lifetime. Ever one you decide you choose it's your lifetime. I can see a little message. “My beloved, where have you been? I've missed you. I never thought you existed. Forgive me for fucking up. I love you.” Ahhh! I'm screaming. You and your FS are meant to have a boy 👦 in this lifetime. That's part of y'all destiny. You are going to tell your husband/wife or gender fluid you guys are. You're having a boy. Yes! Ahh, I can see that you'll meet them at a dog park. Your dog and theirs will get along. So I felt like some of you will meet your spouse at a dog park. I think this other romantic soulmate is your lesson-learned soulmate🙈. They just meant to teach you a lesson. But they won't give up on you. Oh yeah, your spouse is the type who likes bottom positions better 😘😍😍if you know what I am. They wouldn't mind if they were on the bottom while you were riding them. This relationship between you two it's a never-ending story. Awe, it's a forever in this lifetime. You're meant to be with them. I feel like some of you, your spouse live in the same building as you. A few of you, I noticed that if you decide to move somewhere you'll meet your soulmate in the same building. Either it can be a lesson or romantic. I think that you and your FS are gonna meet through a business meeting. I heard “company.” I don't know what kind of company you'll work at or start working at. I think that whoever does tarot cards or speaks to a tarot reader or psychic reader then your guides would want to speak to you about your person. Your FS

Right now, I think that your FS is trying to connect with their inner child more. So I think that's what some of y'all spirit guides are trying to tell some of you. They are working on healing their inner child. Uhm. Their Ex did something to them that they would rather bury with them for the rest of their lives. I don't know what their Ex did to them. But I hope that they'll tell you real soon. Oh my goodness, they love playing video games. You'll see them playing Mortal Kombat etc. Don't you agree? I sure do. Ohh! For anyone who doesn't believe or doesn't have faith in their connection with whoever. Your FS is telling all of you. As their higher self is telling you don't listen to other readers if you feel like this is your FS then it is yours. Only you have to trust your intuition we as psychic readers are giving y'all our opinions. Trust your instincts. I felt a Few Of You that your FS is slang a big dick. Oh, bust you wide open hahaha😂😂. If some of you out there some weed then this is your FS. This husband of yours will buy you a boutique of weed. Haha 😂 I can see some of y’all pot head happy as hell. Aww, they’ll be the one that will say I love you first. I believe that some of you might say it first but I think in my opinion most of y’all FS is very blunt and brave with their words. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind at all. Which’s good for them. Oh yeah, I feel this other person will come in first in your life and then your FS. But you might be involved with this other person first and this other perosn lifestyle is a bit crazy. I would say. Alright, I felt that some of you may feel in the beginning, that your FS got some cruel intentions because they want to get you pregnant and make you their baby mama. In my opinion, for a few of you I’m not feeling that. Haha 😂 amazing, you two will make like competition tv shows, etc. I can see it happening. Oh my God, this might be very difficult for you. But I feel as though you are going to choose this other husband. So I think that some of you have a two spouse’s I don’t know but you guys have two of them and I don’t know which one you guys are going to decide on in this lifetime. But I feel like your other FS is protecting you spiritually from any dark forces that’s tries to harm you. Oh yeah, you are going to be annoyed with this person and you are going to need some space from them. I’m thinking that I understand this round and round situations. Okay, I feel as though when you are involved with this other guy then let’s just say in the next two weeks your other romantic partner comes in. You are going to be hanging out with them while you are taking space from your other partner. It doesn’t make you a home wrecker. Or anything like that. I feel like you are going to fall in love with this other partner. Alright, they’ll be stalking you on social media. I’m hearing “even now.” So yeah, they are stalking you. I don’t know how but they are. Or you might be stalking them. Aww, the destiny between you and your FS they’ll give you luxurious wedding. They would want to spoil the shit out of you. All they want to do is take care of you. Okay, I feel as some of you, I truly think that this other partner likes to party a lot. So they drink a lot. Tell me what do you think. Honestly, I feel like they don’t want to give up that part of that lifestyle. Okay, I was kind of right in a sense. Whoever guy are thinking about or dreaming about does wants to meet you know. I feel that they’ve gotten readings about you. As who you are and what do you look like? Etc. that’s what I’m feeling like. Yes, in this lifetime both of you are meant to help each other spiritual. You two are meant to ascend with each other. That’s fucking amazing to me. I am hearing you say “I’ve made the right choice. So whatever you decide in this life with your partners you are going to feel you’ve made a great choice. This is what you two remind me of. The dynamic, connection of the whole scenario.

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Pile 3: In the beginning, I honestly feels like it will be on and off between you both. I figure one of you might be detached. Doesn’t want to be in a relationship or looking for one. Which I understand. In a sense I do. I figure that you might be annoyed with your FS. I can see a little imagine right now you’ve got annoyed with your FS maybe, there’s something they say to you or you’ve might of heard of. But you and Your FS in this lifetime is destined to a romance connection. I heard “fall In Love 🥰” I think in my opinion, you’re going to fall in love with them instantly. Don’t feel ashamed about it or anything. You’ve got what’ve been manifesting for a long time. I truly do feel that way. I was right. Praying 🙏🏾 the both of you were praying for someone come into your life that you can just fall in love. Not someone who’s gonna treat you like shit or whatever. But I believe as though. I feel that some of you will be ghosting on your FS meaning detached from them. That’s what I feel for some of you. A few of you, I think that your FS will be the one that doesn’t know how to make up their mind. One minute it’s cool next minute it isn’t. You’re going to be round and round with them. Like that Selena Gomez-round and round. That’s song I’ve heard in my head when I thought of this situation. But this is just beginning. I think that you two are doing some spell love or talking to other psychic readers who are doing spell works for you to bring in your lover. In my opinion, it isn’t bad. The both of you are meant to create a family together in this lifetime. You're meant to build a future with them. That could even mean today, tomorrow, or months from now. That depends on you and your FS. We all build our future in our own way. Honestly, feel as though you two are going to do those old-school photos. Make a lot of memories together. I think that whenever you guys take pictures you won't leave them on your phone you are going to print them out. I have a feeling this pile feels like an old-century life memory. I don't know what it is but that's what I'm getting. Having picture frames 🔲 and hanging pictures up on the walls, rooms, living room, and even through your Spouse office. Or yours. If that makes sense. You'll know your spiritual gift. Or I have a sense that your gifts are going to be activated. Whether or not you decide to activate them yourself. But you'll be aligned with your gifts. I can see that you may have a special place where you go to find your peace. Maybe, on a rock 🪨 or somewhere you find your sanctuary. I feel that you two might've done something you've been regretting. Or they did. So when I saw this card Massive Regrets I thought that they had done something that’s like “FUCK! I fucked up.” I can see them tapping their head like Fuck fuck fuck!! I feel as though in this lifetime your FS used to cope with drugs. I won't go any further than that but they got themselves into some deep depression. It does fucking sucks. Alright, either you or your Fs will be dealing with some crazy ex. This ex is obsessed with you or them. They'll be buying an apartment next door to them. To check to see what are up to. Probably stalking their social media. Or is your ex stalking your media? I'm hearing this ex “Let’s see what are you up to.” Hmm. This ex won't let the past go. Be careful because you might have to deal with them in this lifetime. I feel like that's part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Don't get me wrong you can change the course of your destiny period. Aww, I think that your FS will be sending you love messages. Oh My God, I think your Spouse isn't afraid of what they send you. I think they are going to show you what they send you. I can hear them say “Here look at what I sent you.” you'll cozy up with them. Both of you are going to read the message that they send you. Awe I can see them kissing your forehead. This FS is very sweetheart. But we will go into the depths of this destiny. You are their Divine Feminine. You are their other half. They've been searching for you. I'm not saying this or it is

True about this but why did I feel like some of y'all spouses could be Chris Brown lol 😆 I mean if y'all are then good! But I just saw him in my head. But anyway, yeah, you are their divine feminine. So that means your FS is your Divine Masculine. What a perfect match. Right now, I feel like you two are feeling under pressure because you two think that you are running out of time. Which isn't true. Which isn't true at all. You're not running out of time. Y'all time isn't wasted. Honestly, time doesn't exist. You can meet your FS anytime. Yes, you have to go through hardship with other people but sometimes they come in when they come in. This is a type of chemistry or a connection it's like love and hate between you and your FS. I don't sense that you fucking hate them but this reminds me of that show Bridgerton. When Anthony couldn't stand Kate he fell in love with her. If some of you don't know about that show. I think I can send you a link to their dynamic on YouTube. This is what I feel like you do them and they do to you. Oh yeah, the both of you will be ending a lot of drama, and losses, and finally finished the past. I'm hearing “the ending.” I feel like your FS is going through a mental breakdown because of this crazy psycho ex. I think they regret it. Either you or your Fs may have a sex addiction. But I don't sense a bad habit. I am hearing “self-control.” Oh yeah, see! I was right! Both of you will say goodbye 👋 to the past, the exes, and old habits of ways. When you and Your Fs get into a relationship it is going to flourish. I have a sense of “fast-paced.” with some of you. But for a few of you, I'm sensing more “slow-paced.” either way that's what I'm getting from it. Ahh! I see that the two of you will be performing together. Whether it would be on stage, perform an art gallery, etc. No matter what you two will be sharing the stage. Oh my goodness, you two will share an everlasting first-time kiss. I can see it. It is a moment that you two will share. Well, I see that you'll be marrying your high-vibe soulmate in this lifetime. No wonder I was picking so many romantic vibes. It's so calm and cool. So your Fs will stalk you on your IG page or whatever social media you do have they’ll stalk you. I'm hearing them say “Eh, just keepin’ an eye out”. In a sense, it's like they wanna protect you sort of way. I hope that made sense. In the beginning, it might start as a situationship. So you and Your Fs could be in a situationship in the beginning. Or in my opinion, dealt with one. This connection leads you both to find each other again. Which is so romantic. I'm getting such a dreamy vibe. Even if some of you, may think that “Oh, it's a situationship.” no matter what it'll never feel that way with you. I sense more you both will be quick to get out of that situationship and start a relationship. If that makes sense. Alright, again, this reminds me of pile 2. I have a feeling that you may meet two people in this lifetime. One is your FS and the other one could be your FS as well. So I have a feeling when this other person sees you. Oh my lord, they are going to tell their friends about you. I heard this other person say “I saw an angel.” Yeah, awe sounds sweet but I don't think 🤔… sigh, this will take a brief moment. Oh wow, I have a feeling that something might happen. I don't know what that is. I can see that face you might make. That fucking “Yikes face” 😬. Okay, some of their asshole co-workers will be talking shit about you. Like “bitch Bye”. Haha 😂 I'm sorry I was in my moment. Anyways, they will defend you. I'm hearing them right now saying “It doesn't matter how the fuck we got together it's none of y'all fucking business.” holy shit! I'm scared to piss this FS. I'm telling you they don't play around at all. I can feel them being aggressive towards people. Including their co-workers. They'll shut that shit down fast. You may meet them at a festival party with your friends or theirs. Oh my goodness, haha 😂 you two will make a reality TV show. No drama I don't feel. But like competition shows.

Other games show. Oh yeah, I can see it happening. I believe right after the meeting you are going to get their phone number. They'll give it to you. Oh. I can see you guys blushing about it. It is so cute. You remind me of a high school girly girl. Maybe, that's my energy. Lol 😆 Alright, I believe that someone threatens your FS in this part of the industry that's why they back away. Somebody threatened your FS that's why they probably don't do what they love to do anymore. Maybe, painting, music, etc. Whatever that is somebody did some shady shit. Okay, see! Yeah, I was right! I told you that you guys will be the ones who will be making the “Yikes” faces. Because you've already fallen in love with your Fs. Since the moment you met them and they met you. Isn't that wonderful? So you may have to hurt this other person's feelings. Oh my god, I don't wanna cry but sometimes shit like that happens. Oh damn, that's hurtful. I've heard my thoughts like “Maybe, they should've made it in time.” Oh dang, bad thought bad thought. 😂😂. So when you two meet each other. The second you guys lock eyes with each other. Bam, you both knew it was meant to happen. This other person doesn't talk to their family or friends. They probably have one close friend. I don't know why but I feel slightly close to this pile. Maybe, a certain message is in there. For me. Alright, they’ll be the ones paying other artists to work with you. Whether you wanna be an actor/actress, Writer, etc. They'll be the ones paying for it. I've heard them say “Whatever you make I make.” I don't know why maybe, this is my vibe, or some of y'all. But I'm heavily feeling like some of y'all might be Chris Brown's wifey here. But that's what I'm feeling like. But anyway, your Fs are exploring their sexuality. Ha, I’ve heard that they have been judged by people. That's lame to me. So they secretly explore their sexuality. In my opinion, so the fuck what. Hmm… your spirit guide is calling you to speak to them about your person. So check in with your guides. So yeah, you and your FS are going through the same situation. Whatever you are going through they are going through a similar situation. 🙈🙈. Yes, a lot of people will support your relationship with your FS. Don't matter what happened. In the past with them. People are going to support this relationship this connection. They'll love seeing you two together. You might meet them through a business meeting. I swear! I don't know what it is but some of y'all meeting y'all crushes or FS through an industry. This is the kind of vibe I'm picking up heavily. Yes! Turn on 🤭🤤🤤. A few of you, your Fs know how to grind their body. They know how to move their body. So imagine in bed🤤🤤. Oh, sexy. I've heard a sex song for them haha. They'll admit to you about their past but they feel like you won't look at them the same anymore. Now whatever your FS tells you. I've heard my guides say “Don't freak out.” don't show them an eww expression because they'll close off from you. It's okay to give your opinion but don't be rude about it or judge them. They are trying to connect with their inner child. Whoever does music whether you are serious about it or not. The two of you will make hit-the-chart music. So I feel like some of you are meant to make music. For some of you, whether you are a rapper, singer, or guitar player. You meant to be in the chart. Or I have a feeling they are meant to help you with your career. Also, in this lifetime you two are meant to be in a partnership. This destiny between you and your FS is all about partnership. There will be certain people who don't want you guys together. I feel like they already call your Fs names. So they'll be calling you stupid for being with them. I'm telling you it’s because of their past. I'm hearing them say “They called me the worst names in the world.” so yeah, they called them bad names. They were going through a stressful evening but it's all better now. I feel that they own a billion-dollar company. They didn't use protection while they were sleeping with their ex.

No worries, I honestly feel like they didn't catch anything. So again, your Fs have some secrets. What's that saying “Skeletons in their closet.” they are a video game freak. They love video games. Play play. They are sending you messages, signs, and synchronicities too. Pay close attention. I can hear them say “I know you are sending message to me. Just know I am catching them.” So they know that you’ve been sending messages from the universe through their dreams. Don't think they aren't listening they are. I believe they are. You are part of their destiny. So in the next couple of months, you are going to meet your Fs. I heard “this year”. So many of you are meeting your FS this year. I am feeling like. Good to y'all. Aww, they'll go all out for you on Valentine's Day🕯. They painted the room red and roses on the wall. Aww, what a dream to be.

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Pile 4: Alright, one of their teammates will be spreading lies to your ear about them and vice versa. They can see you two fighting against each other. I feel like in my opinion, don't listen to them. Whatever their teammate saying about you to them don't listen to them. Oh yeah, your Fs have some bad friends around them. They truly do if their teammate spreads lies about you to them. Alrighty, I believe that you two have to deal with karmic partners before coming into union for some of you. This is your soulmate and both of you are soulmates. I feel in my gut that the both of you have a lot of things that you two need to deal with. So I think that one of their family member or parents isn't going to like you because you're too young for them. I can hear them say “You're too young for them.” they are going to feel like you have no kind of responsibility. In my opinion, who gives a shit about it. They've gotten robbed before. Someone invaded their home. Oh, yeah, that's shit fucking sucks. I’m sorry about that with them. Your FS could be a Virgo sun and they are practical and they like to use big words. I can feel like some of you could be like “Uhm, that's unnecessary.” They are your Divine Masculine so again, they are your divine counterpart. I felt as though they were a little wounded right now. I felt as though some of you were spiritual in your way. I have a feeling that they'll be dropping their religion. I feel like certain things won't make sense. In this lifetime they'll help you learn how to budget and save up your money so you won't be spending so much of it. If that makes sense. In A past life, I've believed that you were a Queen and you were a well-known Queen. I’m hearing you were loved. I think you probably got tired of everyone in your face and craving for something more. What's out there for me? Just me. That is what I'm feeling for you. You've found your spouse on this island and they were smart and they took you on a different adventure. I see that your people have found you and took you back home. I have a strong feeling that you were sad. I don't think that you told your FS who you were to keep that life a secret. You didn't want anybody to know. But both of you fell in love with each other. Since the moment you two laid eyes on each other. I had a little vision in my head that they were building something. Man! They had a nice body but you were like “Who's that guy?” haha. I think that in this lifetime it will be the same feeling as they did here. They feel a bit guilty for doing something that they shouldn't done. I don't feel like they forgive themselves. I felt as though they were excited to meet you. I've heard them say “I hear stories about you.” so I feel as though they hearing stories about you. I think they probably seeing a psychic. But they are having strong feelings about you. For some of you. You know what couple I'm feeling like this pile is. I'll send the link 👇🏾below. These couple I'm seeing. That's how I felt in past life between you two. So many people got between you two. Your lifestyle and theirs. In this lifetime what's part of y'all destiny is that they'll offer you their generosity by helping you with your career. Whatever that career is they'll help you. I can feel it. There is a lot of space in this connection between you and them. There's a lot of it. I can see you being like “I'm done with you. I need some space for right now.” I'm hearing “They won't be alright with it.” Maybe, they won't like the space at all. But at the end of the day make it work for you. So it is okay to need space from your person. Alright, other readers will say that you will get bored with your FS in this lifetime. I can see that you'll make it work with them. So if other readers say that you might be unhappy with them. Then you are going to stay with your Spouse regardless. Everything is free will. A lot of their fans will love your style and follow you on your social media Check what you are doing. But you gotta be a little bit careful. They might be a little bit nosy. So watch out. Just saying

Both of you are on a spiritual journey. You two are on it in this lifetime. I’m sensing that you two were meant to be spiritually awakening. More self-awareness. It is going to take them a minute for them to tell you that they like you. I've heard them say “I gotta make the move.” so what's going to encourage them is that they see you going out with someone else. This is like to me in my opinion, wow dude! Lol 😆. Anyways, they'll be telling you that you are playing games with them. And they'll feel a little bit worried that you won't like them anymore. Your FS will be taking accountability for their mistakes whenever they are arguing with you. In this lifetime you two are going to take accountability for the mistakes you two say to each other. Not every relationship is magical. But if it is worth the battle with your partner. Awe, every time you two see each other, both of you yell loudly and jump for joy. I can see you two seeing each other and saying “Hey!!”. If you guys still doing tarot cards they'll ask you to do their energy. Both of you are very competitive as hell. Whenever you two play video games I can see it. This reminds me of a couple. So I'm gonna put it. These are couples that you two remind me of in a sense of this connection. I am sensing private too. Whenever you two argue one of you will shut down and doesn't say anything. I sense both of you. I feel both of you don't like confrontation. Whenever you two argue I can sense an apology quickly. Both of you will teach each other how to protect each other's energies from anyone who doesn't have good intentions. So, I think that some of y'all Spouse is a bit fucked up. So if you end up with your Spouse then you can get into some deep shit. They are gonna trigger you it's because you have some things that you need to face. That happens. There are a lot of positive vibes in this connection you have to believe it. Yes, every relationship has its ups and downs. You'll be the dominant one in bed. So you'll dominate them in bed. They'll like that. You'll be spanking them and damm! I can see a purple light and whenever that light turns on they know what that means. In your destiny, in this lifetime your fears are blocking you from what you need to see. I feel like whatever is blocking you, take a step back and realize what are you scared of. They'll help you build up your label and bring it like other artists. Whatever kind of label you are doing do it! Some of you, I feel like you will marry your Twin Flame in this lifetime. It all depends on you two. Okay, I feel a few of you, got to be careful. Not a lot of people isn’t going to like you two being together for a reason. I’m gonna address this situation. I know some of you have celebrity twin flames and soulmates. Most of you, don’t. It is fine. Just wanna address that. Anyway, this connection will help you find yourself. I’m hearing “self-love” you’re gonna be learning a lot about yourself through this connection. They’ll ask you that “Will you go out to lunch with me?” They’ll take you out for lunch. Oh yeah, they gonna love taking you out to diners, restaurant, and lunch, etc. I can see them doing that all the time. But this connection involves marriage but it all depends on the two of you. I said it before. In this lifetime all the piles both of you make y’all destiny on whatever that is to be. You want happiness then you are going to get happiness. The person you are dreaming about. Does have to do with your soul mission. Both of you have a lot to create together. I can see it happening. Aww, both of you will have matching tattoos together. It is adorable. I can see it happening. This other spouse doesn't talk to their family. I was right. I feel as though, some of you are marrying your twin flame, and most of you marrying their soulmate. Or it can be the other way around. But I feel like there might be two soulmates and a twin flame that may come in. But then again, I can be overly Exaggerating things. Okay, just feel that whenever you are arguing with your spouse there will be certain issues that you two

Can't over this situation. You two may have to agree or disagree. That's just how energy is for now. Okay, whatever you've done in the past is affecting your future. Remember what I said that your fear is blocking what you aren't seeing. So you have to take accountability. They have been sheltered their whole life. It can be the mindset. So I'm hearing that part of y'all destiny is to get out of y’all comfort zone. Your divine masculine is sending you messages, Signs, and Sync. You need to pay close attention. If some of you are divine feminine then pay close attention to dreams. They are important. Okay, they are sort of immature and you'll check them on it. But they'll get defensive on you. Make sure to always hold your ground no matter what. You're gonna stop them from doing something stupid. I dont know what that is but it is something. They'll need to trust how they feel and go with the flow. Whenever you see them back off from you it's because they don't trust themsleves. I’m seeing like Belle and Edward dynamic as well. Alright, these interviewers will bring up their past in front of you. I think that's where you'll stop them from doing something that is fucking stupid as shit. Ahh! I’m dead-ass gaggin’ right now. Unpleasant surprised 😮 you two will have a baby GIRL! In this lifetime you and your Fs are having a baby girl. How do you feel about that? Very cute. Okay, I think that the two of you will get into some heated conflicts There'll be times that you have to walk away from them and vice versa. Honestly, I feel that way. Because we all say things in the heat of the moment. For some of you, this is your romantic partner's short-term. If you two want to still work it out then that's up to you. If not then it's okay to move forward with your life. Maybe, some of you will feel uncomfortable doing this but they'll take you where they took their ex on vacation at. Just to make new memories with you. They want to share that love with you. I have a sense that your FS doesn't have bad intentions but they wanna reconnect with new memories with someone, they feel as though they can spend the rest of their life with. That's what strongly what I strongly feel like. Alright, they'll notice that you have a commitment phobia. If some of you guys are like that then they'll notice that quick. Aww, I feel this even now I do. But they are writing their thoughts about you. In their journal. I feel as though you are doing the same thing. So guess what, you two are manifesting each other. Aww, so fucking sweet isn’t it.

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Pile 5: Alrighty, It seems that a lot of Hollywood people would tell you not to take that chance with your FS. I don't know why. But I think some of these people don't like your Spouse. Hmm, I have a feeling that your Spouse has a big mouth or it is because they had a past Ex in that type of industry. So again, be careful who you date. But in my opinion, if you fall in with your FS who had a bad past so the fuck what. That shit got nothing to do with your feeling with him. Period. So yeah, in this destiny between you and Your Fs will come at them rudely. I hope some of you have tough skin. These bastard Hollywood fuckers are snakes. I can see your FS saying “It’s okay, I am used to it.” Again, these Hollywood fuckers are bullies. So This is part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Anyway, when they meet you, I think that they'll tell you when you get into a relationship with them. They'll tell you their secret. They masturbate when they fantasize about you. I've heard “every time.” so every time they fantasize about you they masturbate. I think that they saw a psychic and they told your FS to masturbate so they can bring you into their life. Sex magic does work that way. Aww, In this lifetime I feel like some of you, have some FS Who is a kind-hearted spirit. They are a nice person it is hard for them to stay mad. That doesn't mean using that shit for an advantage. But it is hard for them to stay mad. So whenever you two get into an argument they'll get upset and they'll walk away from you and they'll come back and tell you why they did what they did. Oh yeah! Both of you will take accountability for what you two said to one another. Good! That's good. I'm glad you two are going to do that in this lifetime. Oh, I can see that one of you might shut down all day Either you or they won't say anything all day. I have a feeling it is your FS since they are going to walk away and won't say anything. I think that they don’t like yelling. It seems like their reputation can affect you in some deep shit. Maybe, it will affect your career. If you decide to go with them. Some people in Hollywood won't work with you. Oh yeah, see! Both of you will trigger each other to the limit. But it is meant to heal you and them. But I noticed that again, some of your FS will walk away from you. They'll need a day away from you. It will make you sad. Yes! Haha 😂 you won't get along with your FS co-workers. Including their business clients. Hmm, that's some crazy shit. I don't sense that you'll be jealous but I do see that you'll pick up on some of their energies. Aww, every time you two see each other it is always a joy with you both. I can see you two jump into each other’s arms. Yeah, both of you yell at each other. Not like yelling but yelling as Hiiii baby. Then jump into each other's arms. Both of you are like best friends. Okay, in the beginning, both of you will start as friends. Even friends argue. So they are your homie but they would want to take it further with you. I think some of you might be in a relationship with someone else while your friend is with your FS. But most of you would want to take that road with them but I think that you decide to stay their friend. They'll help you love yourself more. As to where what they see in you. You'll start to put into yourself. Wow isn't that so beautiful? I can see it happening. You'll start to build your confidence. I think that you’ll take their advice too. Oh yeah, it seems that whenever you are around your FS your femininity will start to kick in. Aww, I see that you might be doing a lot of self-care and getting your hair done. Doing things makes you sexy. If that makes sense. They love wearing their suit and tie. Every time you see them they always have a business suit on. I can see you say “Is that all you wear?” which isn’t true but that's just how they dress. Oh yeah, this FS doesn't fucking play at all. I mean damn! I can see that they'll call it quits whenever you are acting immature or too young. Well, I should say petty. Oh yeah, some of y'all FS don't fucking play. I mean damn!

Whenever they see something is wrong I'm hearing “workout” they’ll walk away from you if they don't see you putting in the effort. Aww, I believe when you first enter the room you fucking blow their mind away. Oh my goodness, isn't that so beautiful? They'll buy you roses and all kinds of flowers. I think that whenever you two Get into some kind of conflict they'll want to work it out with you. I feel like in this lifetime they wanna work it out with you. I think in past lives you two didn’t work it out. Oh my God! Haha 😂 this is fucking wow. You'll hide your first pregnancy from the world. You won't tell anyone about your pregnancy. Honestly, for the sake of you and your child's health yeah, I don't blame you. Keep all your pregnancies to yourself. Okay, this connection between you and your FS is a lot of round-and-round. I think that there will be times when you two will need space. I have a sense that this might be your soulmate but a difficult one. I mean no soulmates are easy but some of them are calm. But this one with you two oh my goodness, I can tell that you two will be dizzy. So yeah, either you or them will walk away from each other. I don't think that you two will break up. I don't think that way. But space will be needed in this rollercoaster. Geez. Aww, they believe that you have such a beautiful voice. It is beautiful💋😱. I can hear them say “Wow, you are magical. Your voice is like a siren. Such a mermaid 🧜‍♀️.” Yikes 😬😬. They won't satisfy you in the bedroom. Okay, maybe, that's why you two are going through some issues. Oh my goodness, maybe they like to do missionary all the time. Damn! I don't like it when this call comes out but they do. See! They feel like you are being a bit distant from them. See! Communication is very important. So they are going to know what's going on with you. Aww, you'll be impressed by them the way how they speak to you. Very gentlemanly vibes. But they aren't that good in bed with you. I think you may think that they are boring in bed. Wow 😮 I'm sorry 💔. Aww, that's a song I've heard in my head too. That's how they feel about you. It was like love at first sight for them. Oh yeah, you'll take some space away from your FS but they'll still text you and send you positive vibes your way. Aww, what a fucking sweetheart? No matter what they will always make sure your day is positive and loved. Are you willing to take this step with your true love? Will you though? Oh my God, I love you guys. This is like ❤️ here. In this lifetime what’s apart of y'all destiny is that you two Will decide to choose each other in this lifetime. No matter who else comes in😁. Both of you will decide to choose one another. This reminds me of the movie The New Sequel of the Little Mermaid. I'll send a video. Here. This is how your connection is. I truly do feel that way. This destiny between You and your FS Will catch you by surprise. This love between you and Them is caught off guard. Like “Oh wow.” it's beautiful. I know that some of your FS can't satisfy You in bed which I think in my opinion, they just might. They just might surprise you in bed. But anyway, you two have been manifesting this love for a long time. Now you finally got it. It came to you. In the beginning, both of you are going to be arguing when you two first meet. Oh my goodness, your love doesn't stop there both of you were probably Romeo and Juliet in a past life before. So your love with them is ancient. I know some of you don't remember but it does go way back. I think some of your FS is your twin flame and for most of you, I believe your FS is a soulmate. For some of you, I think that your Twin Flame is fighting back against this other husband of yours. So, this might be a decision you might have to make. Haha 😂 I honestly, believe that is how some of y'all FS is now. I feel that your FS is going to be completely possessive and obsessed with you. This is part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Both of you will be forgetting about y'all responsibilities and staying home. They trust you and ONLY you. They trust you.

You might be relocating where your person lived. They are moving forward with their life and making better decisions for themselves. That’s good. Hmm 🤔 there are some kind of suspicious things about your FS business. I don’t know what that is but I won’t go any further than that. Oh yeah, it seems that you and your FS will be making out a lot. 💋💋💋💋💋💋. I can hear 👂 one of y'all friends “Where did they go?” oh yeah, you two making out that's for sure. You two like to be alone. In this lifetime you two were meant to marry each other. I think you've tried to marry them in a past life but that shit got fucked up. I can strongly feel that. But you meant to have kids with them. GASP! Oh shit! Didn't it say that your first pregnancy is gonna be private? Bam! See that confirmation. Okay, didn't I say some of your FS is your Twin Flame, and for Most of you this is your soulmate? Look at that this soulmate is part of your high-vibe soulmate journey. They are meant to lead you too. I believe that's part of their destiny with you. Okay, this is kinda lame to me. But they might be in a relationship while they are hanging out with you. So they have feelings for you. I've heard “proudly.” so They Proudly have feelings for you. They could be bald or shave their head bald 🦲. Or cut their hair short. Things can change. See! For some of you, I feel that you are marrying your Twin Flame in this lifetime. This fucking twin has a lot to do with your past life. I don't know what it is but it is something. Hmm, I think right now as we speak something is keeping you and your FS away from each other. Yikes 😬😬. In my opinion, be careful with whom you share your readings too especially if some of you have celebrity husbands or wives. Be careful. Yes, your FS is older than you. I honestly, feel that way. But I feel like there is a slight chance that they can be a little bit younger than you. I don't sense hella younger but young. I sense early 20’s like 23 or 24.

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Pile 6: In this lifetime, I have a sense that both of you will forget about y'all responsibilities. I have a sense that you may say “Oh, another time.” and then you gonna keep doing it. It is like every time. So you may have to be a bit careful especially, if it is work. I can tell that you'd like to stay home with them. Oh yeah, I can tell that this FS will be very hasty with you. So your FS is going to be completely possessive and obsessive of you. I noticed that they might be unhealthy. The destiny between you and them. Your FS is gonna be completely possessive over you. I have a strong feeling that this FS isn't playing at all. I am getting a rush vibe from them. They'll say yes to you. For example “Do you want to go out?” FS: “Yes”. Like they are so with the speed with you. Anyway, they could be thin. Like medium size. Right now they are a bit jaded because of what they are going through at the moment. So their mind isn't clear. Alright, I think that when you meet your FS you might've thought to yourself, do you want to go down this road with them? I can see you walking back and forth with this. The reason why I said that is because I won't lie to you, your FS might ask you for your number when they meet you. Like before you leave the building. They'll ask you out of hangout with them. I've heard them say “I see what I want and I'll take it.” so this kind of FS knows what they want. They aren't afraid to take what is theirs. Your Twin Flame is fighting back against your other FS so you two won't meet. I have a feeling that for this Pile. This is your twin flame period. This love between you and your Twin Flame is surprising. I heard “forbidden love”. I felt that certain people don't want you two together. It is going to happen unexpectedly. I know for this one it is tough as shit! Especially, if you are dealing with a twin flame. But I have a feeling that this is part of y'all destiny you are meant to be with your twin flame in this lifetime romantically. You may get into an argument with them at the first meeting. I heard “approving a point.” so they might prove you wrong about them. Maybe, you have some kind of expectation about this twin of yours or their lifestyle. Then BAM! They shut you up. Oh yeah, I feel like this twin is confident about their intuition about you. Whew! So here is their message to you. “Trust me, believe me when I say I am the man you've been thinking and dreaming about. I know it has been a minute since you saw my face but I am always fucking yours. You can bet your sweet ass I'm yours. You may not think so today or tomorrow but it'll come.” Damn, I since a lot of confident vibes from this twin flame. Wow. Anyway, I sense that you two won't give up on each other. No, you won't. Maybe, some of you don't believe in your twin flame connection anymore or just hiding it. But this is part of your destiny with them. You can change different directions but you cannot change certain things in your soul contract with them. You can be 50 years old you'll still have to go down that road or in next life you may have to do it with them but just in a different form of yourself. See! Yeah, you're marrying your Twin Flame 🔥 in this lifetime. So again, your FS is your twin. They have a lot I mean A lot to do with you in the past life. I don't know what that is but if you want a personal reading on that. Here is my link. Anyway, so they might be in a relationship when you meet them. I have a strong sense that when you do meet them they aren't in a relationship with their person. I've heard “sleeping with them”. Your FS could have a darker skin tone. They aren't too light or brown skin but dark brown or dark. Aww, this dynamic between you and them is like Mavis and Johnny. Aww. Let me show you guys a video. Your relationship dynamic reminds me of them two. It's like once you two are alone with one another you see a whole different side of your Twin. Okay, your twin flame is your Divine Feminine. So if some of you are divine Masculine then you are meeting your other half. Which is your Divine Feminine.

Again, they have a lot to do with you in this past life. I don't know what it is but it is something. Huge! It is like something very important you cannot ignore. You can't. At the moment they are mentoring someone else right now. I can see another message they wanna tell you. “Hey, You! Why are you doubting yourself? Did I hear you losing faith? Huh! I wonder why. You are a fucking beautiful Angel 😇. Heaven ain't got nothing on you. You were made to lead for yourself and us. You and I are a team. Trust me, I know it's hard for now. But You will have everything you want including me. Tell me do you believe? I wish I could give you something to believe. But no worries I hope this message helps you.” Wow, they don't like it when you doubt yourself. They see you as perfect. I see you helping your community out. Especially, if your community is struggling you are going to help the struggle. Proud of you. 🙏🏾💋They have an ego problem. Their head is fucking huge so you know that people kiss their asses. But you ain't gonna do that. So of course they are going to be saying “Do you know who I am?” Like ewe, I don't care who you are. Make sure you check them on it. Uhm, they are still a little bitter over their ex. They are trying to move on from it. But this fucking Ex must have hurt your Twin. Oh shit, I wish this card didn't come out. But their ex did something to your Fs they would rather bury it. I'm sorry about that. Oh no! That shit made me mad 😡 this is very bleh to me. Okay, this is none of anyone's business. But oh well, they weren't using protection while they were sleeping with their ex. Hmm.. It seems like spiritually your Fs warning you about this new guy that's coming into your life. That's why they are protecting you even now when a new guy comes into your life. So if you are in a relationship with someone else right now. I feel like your Twin Flame is telling you something about this new guy. So be careful and smart. Alright, I feel like you'll be the one that might start shit with them. I don't think you are a drama starter. Bam! Both of you will have y'all victory together. It is going to feel like a FINALLY! You two finally made it to the end. Through all the ups and downs might as well just finish the race. So that's what happens. I think that you and your Fs have a lot of lessons to learn together in this lifetime. This is part of y'all destiny. I know it feels like a big fucking UGH! But honestly, you don't want things that are too easy. You would want a balance. A lot of people will support you guys' relationship. Oh yeah, it seems like your friend is gonna catch you two having sex in the bathroom. Oh Whew! Dang! Anyway, they currently aren't feeling themselves right now. So they probably going through some kind of healing process right now. This relationship between you and your Fs will bring a lot of people together in harmony. I sense that a lot of people would want y'all relationship. I can tell that they would. I just think that some of y'all Fs are going through some hard lessons with themselves. If you have been dreaming about your Fs lately or you've been dreaming of them for a long time. Then they have something to do with you on your journey. Both of you are meant to create something together. Hmmm. I told you that they are going through something personal. So I think right now they trying to figure out whether or not to cut this friend off. Since they have known this friend for a very long time. Both of you grew up kind of “tough love” in the household so I feel that both of you have this survival mentality. This connection involves marriage. But it all depends on you two. So it is up to you and your Fs if you two decide to take it further down the line. If that makes sense. Oh yeah, so your FS has some unhealthy habits. To where they'll punch someone in the face if they see talking to someone else. I have a huge sense that your Fs have some huge trust issues. Remember what I said earlier that they can quickly be obsessed with you. Then your Fs reminds me of an old soap TV show. Called the

Bold and The Beautiful. Deacon and Sheila. If you guys don't know these characters there is a link below you should check it out. I have a feeling that your Fs have a dark side that they tap into a lot. I don't know what it is but they got this high-ass adrenaline. I can feel it. You give them this excitement in their life. They have been looking for. I've heard “mystery”. Oh yeah, both of you will meet at a festival party whether you are performing or hanging out with friends. But you are going to meet them there. I heard “unexpected surprise.” it is going to happen unexpectedly. Ahh, remember what I said before they are feeling a bit jaded, look at that. They are finding love again. They are calling you again back in their manifestation circle. Whoo. You may not want kids with them. I don't know why maybe, you are set on your mentality that you don't want kids period. Set a timeline for yourself. In my opinion, don't do that! Because at the end of the day, you have lessons to learn with your kids whether with them or with someone else. But for some of you, I felt that you are having kids with your Twin flame. Your twin is your Fs. I think that they may have kids already you'll be done with it. I'll raise their kids. In my opinion, you are braver than me. Lol 😆 just kidding. This relationship will help you two heal a lot of y'all trauma. I'm sorry but I'm calling you out on it. Most of you, have a lot of emotional fears. That's something you two are blocking from one another. Like they are block emotionally, but I do sense that they are trying and you just staying that way. It keeps you safe but their more discovery with your emotions that can help bring in the people who want to love you including your Fs. I think that they are in a new relationship but they aren't taking it seriously. But they have a new girlfriend but I have a sense that it is just dating for them. Oh yes, both of you are ready for union. I say go for it!!! Be ready for this union that can help you two grow and become better.

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Pile 7: In this lifetime you and your FS will become trillions. Wow, that’s cool. They are a bit pushy because they want to make sure that you have everything you want. I sense a fighter. Oh my god! Haha, having sex with your Fs is going to be fucking mind-blowing which I believe so. Haha 😂 awesome. What's your destiny between you and your FS I have a sense of feeling it is high-school sweethearts for some of you. Right now they are trying to connect with their inner child🥲💕. They probably watch Disney movies and childhood movies. They grew up watching. Whenever you get detached from them. I sense that they might be annoyed by you. “I can't win with you. Ugh, what did I do wrong? This is why we aren't working because you are so stubborn as hell. Help me understand this shit. I'm your partner so let me be your partner.” Oh yeah, they are the type to like the bottom position if you know what I mean ladies and gentlemen.🤭🤤🤤. So their energy right now at the moment they aren't feeling themselves. So even when you are with them it isn't you it is just them. Oh yeah, I think your Fs go both ways. 🙌🏽 good for them. I think that your Fs are in a relationship with a man and they are exploring their sexuality. Should I say? They are curious. So they'll tell you about their experiences with their boo-boo. Haha 😂 how lovely is that? Oh yeah! Your Fs is a fucking freak! Ahh! I am fucking gagging. Yes 👍🏽 so they'll eat your pussy while you in a bubble bath. Oh yeah, soak your pussy in their mouth 👅. Oh yeah, that shit giving a bitch wetty wet. You'll meet them in a library 📚. They probably like to read or just like to be in the library by themselves. I heard “Sanctuary.”they do a lot of sex magic to bring you into their life quicker💋. Masturbation is important to people. Do some play play. Even to just make yourself feel good. Oh okay, so in the beginning, you two won't immediately like each other because you two are having a bad day. So you two will be playing a lot of mind games with one another. They are indecisive themselves. So they'll be like “I don't know”. You may get tired of it and vice versa. You and your Fs are going through a similar situation. Oh yeah, you might be like “Ugh Why?” things happen sometimes. Oh wow, they are your spouse they want to make it known. “Hey, cupcake 🧁 just gonna say it one more time to you. I am your Husband/wife. I mean I know I haven't proven it to you or been my best but I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy forever.” In the beginning, I don't think they ain't gonna like how prude you are at first. Because you know your Fs is a beautiful person so they'll be bitches throwing themselves at them. Awe, when you two do meet both of y'all eyes just lock in with one another. Isn't that crazy? Amazing isn't it? Okay, your Fs isn't a celebrity. This is cool 👍🏽 you don't want any celebrity all the time but I do feel in my opinion, everybody has a connection with a celebrity regardless of some status that is attached to their name. Sorry for ranting. But anyway, they are well-known in their community. See! There is a lot of physical attraction between you two. Oh my goodness, it isn't that exciting. Eep! Aww, you are their divine counterpart. 🔥👅. I can tell there is some passion with you two. I was right! They have this deep love and affection for you. Awe, they'll curse out their fans for you. I hear “neighbors.” so if anybody tries to mess with you know not to step close. This connection with you two will help you both grow and it is a lot of work that needs to be done. You'll have to make the effort to work with them. I'm hearing “a lot to handle.” hmm, at the moment they are scared 😱 they are trying to take a different direction. Okay, I have a feeling that some of you, don't have a celebrity spouse. A certain amount of you do have celebrity spouses which is cool. Oh yeah, fans will DM you rude messages and keep on bothering you. I see why your Fs curse their asses out. I think their fans are tough. But aren't part of your destiny but these fans are going crazy.

After the meeting with them, you'll leave a huge impression on them after the meeting. They'll never forget your face or what kind of feeling you give them. Okay, your Twin flame is trying to connect with you and talk to you. So you may not fuck with your twin now or you spiritually blocked them. These are a couple of you two remind me of. Oh wow, they are deciding in their next life they want to be with you. I'm hearing “That's a promise” Oh yeah, until death, they are making that as a fact. Yes, so whenever you are starting up your business you are fucking amazing and you'll start to make it happen. Remember what I said earlier? Well, this is why. They are deciding if they want to be with you romantically. I don't know I had a vision I can see them walking back and forth in their living room. Hitting their fingernails. It must be a tough decision. Oh yeah, your Fs hits 👊 hard so you'll be scared for them to fight someone. I think that you'll know how your FS gets. Okay, a lot of Hollywood stars will tell you to not go out with your Fs because of their past. Honestly, doesn't matter what these people say or who you can love. You probably won't get along with one of your Fs family members. So I had a vision that you tell your Fs saying “I don't like her” It's probably because you two had a past life before. I don't know. Smooth aren't they? They'll convince you to go out with them. You probably have been saying “no” so many times. I heard “not ready.” you probably aren't ready to go on dates with someone. Wow 😮 they'll be the ones to expose your pregnancy all over social media. “I’m gonna be a Dad”. Awe I can see them jumping for joy. Both of you will trigger each other but you two must heal one another. Call out their triggers and yours. I can tell you two arguments aren't pretty. It going to be a lot of disagreement. But you'll love them and they'll love you. They'll praise you all the time. Give you compliments. I can see it happening. Oh yeah, a lot of positive vibes in this connection with them. It just takes a lot of effort. See! A lot of your fears will be blocking your happiness and them too. You won't be able to see what's right in front of you if you don't surrender. Oh yeah!! Remember, what the fuck I said! Haha 😂 I cannot with myself. You and your Fs family have some unfinished business. Something has to end with their family member. I don't know what it is but it is something. Aww, y'all daughter in Stars or the Galaxy is sending you and your Fs messages including now. They are working on getting her parents together but she is feeling a bit ignored by you both. Maybe, you need to do a reading on your kids. I think you may start dating your friend first. I heard “hangout” so I feel like you won't be interested in a friend like that but I do see you hanging out with their friend. Oh my goodness, I think that you two are social media couples. I don't see much privacy for you too. So you two will post a lot on the IG. I mean wtf! This card loves to come out. So yeah, both of you are each other's Divine Counterparts. Both of you can do slow-paced or fast-paced. It is still a perfect match. I'm hearing “compliment each other.” I feel that's what you two do for each other. They may have twisted braids or you could or their friend. It can be either or. Oh yeah, there is a lot of running away in this connection. I can tell. Geez, I sense a lot of scariness from you and them but from you too. I don't think you trust easily. You have a hard time. I hear you say “People don't get me.” you've been disappointed by people before. Relationships you probably think to yourself you don't know how to be a girlfriend. I can hear your Fs say “I don't know how to be a boyfriend either.” partnership is responsibility. But even though two of you will go through your ups and downs. This still is a beautiful connection 📶 relationship. You'll let a lot of your walls down with them. See! You two are meant to make a lot of money 💵 together. Help each other build a business with one another. Oh, sexy, goddamn!

I can tell that you two will be hot and heavy. That's the song I heard in my head. So much passion with you. That's why I feel like you'll get instantly pregnant with them. It doesn't matter how old you are. It feels like this is kind of the same pile I just wrote this on. Hmm… weird💞. In this lifetime you are going to be your FS fiancè. So yeah, it is going to feel like love at first sight with them. You two will be planning out your wedding. I don't sense anything too major. But small. I heard them say “She finally said yes”. So it is going to take you a minute to say yes to them. I feel like you are going to surprise and shock them. Aww, both of you have been written in the stars. I think when you are with them you'll start to trust your instincts better. Ask yourself is this what you want? Do you want this? You can change your destiny but there is something for you it is going to happen regardless of how you change the rotation. Okay, your FS is your Twin Flame. That's why the ups and downs and running away. Whew, there is a lot of that. Running away. You two are intense. I see that you two share a lot of harmony. Oh yeah, this is your soul family 👪 oh my goodness. I don't know why but I think I might cry 😭 they are part of your soul mission and vice versa. They are part of your destiny in this lifetime. You are marrying your soul family. They will fully complete you and vice versa. Even if you are with someone else at the moment they'll wait until it's their turn. They know you are their true love ❤️ why not be with them? See! Again, you'll feel happy with them and it is like again, and you'll feel complete with them. You just have to give it a chance. Whoever you are thinking about this person has a lot to do with you in a past life. I don't know what happened but there is something. I'm hearing “It never got completed.” so there is something that never got completed for real. Hmmm… I think your Fs are fighting back against your other FS from the spiritual realm. I don't know what's the issue here but it seems like they are a little bit scared 😱 but I don't see these other Fs lasting long in your life yes! Promotion your career is going to take off with them. I see that in this lifetime, you two were meant to work together side by side. Manifesting abundances! I think y'all manifestation is going to happen so quickly. Aw 💞💞 that's the song I'm hearing. I feel that most of you will be meeting your ultimate in this lifetime. Whether your twin flame or soulmate you're gonna be with them in this lifetime. It is a headache but it is worth the risk.

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pixiesfz · 3 months

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Omg I love your recent Kerstin fic. Would you consider doing a part 2 where we actually see Kerstin get jealous due to Courtney? Maybe some smut?

yes, yes, yes yes yes.!

jealousy k.c

plot: you and courtney become friends after being ex's for so long and kerstin gets a little jelly about it.

warnings: smut, public, part 2 of teammates

You were healing.

With the help of Kerstin of course.

You didn’t realize until the recent international camp where Australia would vs Uzbekistan when Courtney walked in and instead of a feeling of heartbreak washing over you, you finally saw her as a normal teammate, a friend almost.

“Media duties!” Macca called out with a grin as she held her phone and the tiny microphone which had some of the girls groaning.

“Partner up!” Allanna yelled from behind her she yelled and you were at the food table putting spaghetti in your bowl, meaning that when you went back to your table everyone was partnered up except for Courtney whom you both made awkward eye contact with another and Kyra coughed to save you both from it.

“I could switch” she offered to you but you shrugged your shoulders “It should be fine” you smiled and made your way over to her “Hey,” she said softly “Hi” you smiled, excited that you were finally feeling like her teammate again and not her ex.

“Excited for the games coming up, going to your homeland soon” she pointed out and you smiled “I haven’t seen my family since the break so I’m pretty excited, I’m giving my mum about 10 seconds before she starts to cry” you laughed and she joined you.

After a few seconds Courtney turned towards you “This is nice” was all she said and you nodded “Yeah” you breathed out and the two tall girls from your team walked over to you both with whiteboards “You have been chosen” Macca said in a weird voice you could only hear in star wars and you tilted your head “sorry I don’t speak Chewbacca”.

“C'mon” Allanna sighed and grabbed your hand, walking a bit faster so you were out of earshot of the other two “Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded “I’m okay” You smiled “Yeah?” Allana asked with a smile “Yeah” you confirmed and hugged into her side where she left a chaff kiss on your head.

“You know I didn’t like the idea of Kerstin taking you after what happened at the World Cup but you and her are really good together, even on the field,” she said to you and you blushed “C'mon let's just do this interview”.

You and Courtney both sat down together in the media room as a camera guy cleaned the camera Mackenzie held a script behind it and Allana held the mic. “Why did we need to clean the camera?” Courtney asked “Raso and Ellie did a try not to laugh challenge” the guy piped up and you laughed at the idea “oh that is chaos”.

“So you’re just gonna do like a ‘who’s most likely to’ kind of thing yeah?” Kenzie asked and you nodded and the camera started rolling.

“All right, who’s most likely to forget a teammate's birthday?” she asked and you wrote down Kyra’s name and turned it around at the same time as Courtney as the room erupted in laughter “Y/n” Courtney nudged your shoulder “what” you turned to her as your faces were close.

“It’s only out of us two”

Mackenzie and Allanna’s laughter filled the room again as your eyes bulged “Sorry Kyra!”.

“Who did you write anyway?” you asked as you rubbed Kyra’s name out “Me, you were always good with dates” She shrugged, and you nodded with a smile.

“Most likely to end up on Broadway?”

You both turned around your whiteboards to reveal your name “Me” you smiled “Fun fact: before I went into footy full time, I was always in my school musicals and local ones”

“And was even good at them” Courtney chimed as she remembered going to them.

“Most likely to go on Love Island?”

You thought about it for a second and then wrote down Courtney’s name, not sure if she would take it offensively but when you turned it around she laughed and you saw your name on hers “What?” you asked “Pretty people do well on Love island” Courtney pointed out with laughter and the comment went straight over your head “no you would do well in all like the challenges they do, you and your partner would dominate” you pointed out as everyone in the room was now laughing.

You both waved to the camera still laughing at each other as the cameraman turned it off.

“Well, at least I didn’t get water all over me this time”.

That night after dinner you laid on your bed with the phone in hand where Kerstin was “So how was tonight?" she asked after having a conversation all about her first couple of days "Good we did some media shots and I was with Courtney" you explained

You were too busy explaining your story that you didn’t see Kerstin's eyes when you mentioned your ex-girlfriend. “I miss you,” she told you with a smirk “Babe it’s been a week” you laughed but her stare didn’t change “I miss you too” you admitted with a smile.

“You getting a tan up in Spain?” you teased, and the girl smiled “Actually I was thinking we could come up here next break” she admitted and your smile widened “I’d love that”.

When you both hung up the phone for the night you saw that the admin had posted the video of you and Courtney, but you paid no mind to it, knowing what had happened in real life.

Kerstin sat in her bed and watched it, her eyes traveling to Courtney when her arm grabbed you and swivelled you around and told you that you were playing the game wrong. Then it went to her staring at you for a reaction whenever she turned her whiteboard around.

“Pretty people do well on Love Island”

Kerstin's eyebrows shot up at the blonde girl's (her words to her girl) words, she tried not to but her finer swiped up to see all the comments that had already flooded the video.

‘did they get back together?”

↪ we don’t even know if they ever broke up.

↪ isn’t she dating Kerstin

↪ just a rumour, just friends I think

↪ y/n and Courtney is an Australian power couple

↪ Kerstin and y/n are slow launching

↪ how many girfriends does this woman have?

Kerstin shut off her phone and put it on her bedside table with a groan.

She trusts you with every bone in her body and she knows you would never ever cheat, especially with Courtney but right now all she wanted was to push the blonde Australian away so people would know you were hers.

And hers only.

Tony took you off after 60 minutes, scoring two goals and assisting Mary for hers, you had the win in for sure and you helped your team make your way into the Olympics, jumping in joy from the sidelines when Caitlin scored her hattrick.

The game finished 7-1 and the Matilda’s team were singing random songs in the change rooms to celebrate. “Congrats” Courtney said as you walked in “thanks for the assistance” you smiled as you thought back to the first goal of the match.

You were on the wing, free as your defender got slightly confused and ran onto Raso. Courtney caught your eye as she dribbled and kicked with her right foot from their square to you where you hit it from your chest back down to your foot, giving you a clear way for a boot, which you did and thankfully the ball went in.

You jumped around in excitement as the team jumped on you, Courtney as well who lent her hand out to pick you up.

You walked away back to your cubby as Courtney watched you.

Allanna picked you up as you walked over “Can’t believe Tony took you off right before you got a hattrick” she groaned “It’s fine, he told me he wanted me fit and healthy for the Melbourne game cause he’s keeping me on for the full 90” you smirked and she gasped and smiled “Chicken!” Caitlin cheered over and sat down next to you “Got good news for you”

“What may that be?”

“Viv and I figured out that we and the Netherlands are gonna be at the same airport at the same time!” she told you quickly and you jumped up “fuck yes!” you cheered, ecstatic that you get to see your girlfriend.

“Alrighty girls!” Tony walked in “pack your bags cause we’re leaving bright and early in the morning!”

You weren’t usually a morning person but the idea of you seeing Kerstin again had you waking everyone else up to be quick, you even bought mini a coffee as Harper may have kept her up.

“Thanks, darl” she complimented you with a thankful smile as you walked together, Harper deciding to jump into your arms as you all walked onto the bus.

“Want y/n” she turned to her mum who shrugged “Take her,” she told you with a smile as you and the little one both cheered.

“You are happy,” Harper told you as you both sat down and you smiled “I get to see Kerstin” You smiled and the girl put her mouth in an ‘o’ shape letting out a little sound “I like Kerstin She gave me lollies” she smiled as she remembered when you took Kerstin to a ‘Tillies’ night out.

“That did not make your mummies happy,” you told her as you remember Kerstin apologizing as she didn’t know that the lollies she gave her had so much sugar in them.

The two of you fell asleep on the bus till you were shaken awake by her mother “I can still hold her” you promised her as you all walked in, quickly going through security with the little one stuck on your shoulder.

She didn’t wake until we all put our bags down “Kerstin” she mumbled and pointed before you turned around and indeed saw your girlfriend in all orange walking towards you, a slight sense of dominance as she locked eyes with you.

“You ruined my surprise little one,” she told Harper before wrapping her arms around you, squeezing you tight before pulling back and looking at you holding a child. “I look like a mum don’t I” you laughed

“milf”

“Kerstin” you scolded and grabbed her arm “C’mon let’s take her to her real mum” you smiled.

Although you loved the little girl, you just wanted to be with your girlfriend for the little time you had.

Dropping off Harper to Mini was easy but it was as you walked by your team members that Kerstin looked around for the blonde who was already watching you pass Mini the child, Kerstin didn’t like that.

“I have to go to the toilet come,” she told you, dragging you off.

You lightly scoffed “You need to learn how to control your bladder”.

You watched as Kerstin held you tight, turning from the regular girl's toilet last second to the disabled, throwing you in and quickly closing the doors behind her.

“Kerstin this is the-“ You were cut off by her lips on hers, moaning into her right away from the impact “Kirsten” you breathed out in between kisses, she simply shooshed you and travelled her lips down your neck, pushing you onto the sink “jump” she told you her hands grabbing your ass as you did and lowered you onto the bench top.

“we’re in public” you breathed out as she sucked onto your neck. She took her head away, looking at you with lust “I just want people to know what’s mine” she told you with a shrug as if it was the easiest thing to say in the world but you felt hot at the words, or maybe because it was the way her hands travelled up your legs as she said so.

“I am yours,” you told her and she crossed her head and tutted “Not everybody knows that,” she said and you thought back….Courtney.

“Are you jealous?” you ask as the woman's fingers played with your waistband “I don’t want anyone thinking they have a chance with you” She smiled and started pulling your shorts down, your underwear along with it, throwing it on the floor before her hands went under your thighs, pulling you towards her “so wet” she smiled, kissing up your legs.

“Did she ever make you this wet?”

You gasped at the words of your girlfriend, a new side that you had never seen of her, and you loved it.

“no” you mumbled as her kiss grew closer to where you needed her.

“Good girl”

Kerstin started slowly with a slow lick through your folds, moaning at the sight of her before she went in again, faster

“Oh fuck” you stuttered, your hand now tangled in her hair that she wore out, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

But a buzzing sound interrupted your bliss.

Courtney.

“Answer it,” Kerstin told you before entering a finger into you.

“I-“ “Answer it or I won’t go any further” Kerstin looked into your eyes, silently telling you that she meant it.

“fuck” you cursed before pressing answer and lifting it to your ear as Kerstin eagerly watched you from underneath.

“hey” Courtney said on the phone “hi” you responded and Kersten started moving her finger slowly, you bit onto your free finger to stop yourself from any noise.

“Called cause you’ve been gone for a bit and we have to board in like twenty minutes” she said through the line “Lani said you could be with Kerstin but I just wanted to make sure”

At Kerstins name being dropped you looked down to the girl who was pumping her fingers into you, entering a second finger that made you gasp.

“Are you okay?” Courtneys voice rang out

“yep” you answered quickly, maybe a bit too quickly.

“okay uhm I could find you”

At the words Kerstin sped up and you moaned out into your hand so it was muffled “That’s-“ you started but stopped “That’s okay I’m good, be there in five-ten! minutes” you said but the squeeze of Kerstin's hands on your ass told you that you were going to be a bit longer.

“oh okay, well tell me if anything changes” Courtney offered and you nodded your head frantically, trying so hard not to scream out your lover's name “Yep okay bye” you said quickly before smashing the decline bottom and placing the phone on the table.

You took your hands in Kirstens hair again as you finally were able to release “oh fuck yes Kerstin” you breathed out as she let you ride out your high. When done you pulled her up by the front of her top and kissed her, lips molding together as you could taste yourself on her lips.

“You are so jealous”.

#woso x reader #woso #woso soccer #kerstin casparij x reader #kerstin casparij #man city

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forthelostones · 2 months

Text

𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ➺ 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #2

anderson construction and landscaping had been parked outside your door since you returned home from university. as if the summer couldn't get any hotter, the business owner works overtime in your area. anderson is collecting new, loyal clients of your neighbors, cementing her permanence in your life for the next few months. what's to come of your girlish crush when she keeps showing up?

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜. 18+ (mdni); age-gap, young!reader, older!abby, butch!abby, slow-burn, suggestive language, thoughts of infidelity, ellie ft, smoking/drinking, mentions of parents, nickname: sweetheart, and modern au.

𝚊𝚗. everyone wow thank you so much for the love on for your eyes only! it means so much. here’s something a little different, hope you enjoy. any requests don’t hesitate to drop ‘em, xx jstar.

♫ 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝. distraction by kehlani ♫

palestinians still need e-sims!!! click the link to figure out how you can donate.

The overly generous housewife commissioned me another large project, to which I simply could not decline. Summertime is when business is the best and she just became my second client in this particular neighborhood. It was a carbon copy of the nearby cities split by four-way stops and freeways. The demands were never unique or fresh, causing me a great deal of creative fatigue when I had to order identical materials from my supplier. I pressed the half-empty bottle of frosty Sam Adams against my neck, soothing the battering I received from the sun this afternoon. There was a cacophony of Casio watch alarms indicating that lunch was over. All my workers were so ecstatic to finish up today’s task and celebrated with loud audible sighs.

“Men can be such pigs,” I whispered, consolidating their empty glasses sticky with sugar.

“Men and children,” She adds, catching me off guard.

I smile over to her blankly, having very little experience with either.

“Yes, my little one over there used to be a slobbering mess.”

I glance over my shoulder to see her daughter sucking on a lemon wedge. Her dark pink lips are tacky with citrus and teeth white against the sunny flesh shedding onto her mouth’s crevasses. I trace the thin maroon-shaded line on the outside of her lips. I find my tongue gliding over my own, thinking of how the lemon would taste between us both. Her eyes jut open once she realizes I am looking at her, eyelashes feathery and light under the sun. Then she just stares at the ground, scraping the sole of her worn Converse against the driveway pavement, attempting to conceal her smile.

“Have any?” She asks.

“Any kids? Ah, no. I don’t.”

She invites me into her home with my hands full of expensive glassware. She screams out to her daughter to bring in the remaining to which she obliges silently, the wedge now dry between her teeth. I wait before walking through the mysterious door and let her guide me — once again with no words. I watched her hips wobble, compressed in spandex, as she walked in front of me. Blinking myself out of the curve of her behind, I stepped up the concrete steps into the kitchen area. Once the daughter placed the glasses on the granite island, she discarded her lemon by spitting it directly into the bin, before lifting the cups out of my hands.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I hummed naturally.

“So we’re good for a consultation tomorrow Abigail?”

I stalked the daughter's movements as she traveled to the dishwasher on the other side of the kitchen. She hunched over to load the dishwasher, ass drawing me back in as she bent down into a squat to adjust something on the rack.

“Abigail?” Her mother probed.

“Yes, ma’am, sorry I was just going through my schedule in my mind.” I laughed nervously.

“Don’t you have an assistant for all that stuff?”

“No ma’am, not yet. But we’re good for a consultation at 7:00 am?”

“Yes, my husband will be here and it’ll be a nice affair. Darling, why don’t you give Abigail all of our numbers. It will be necessary once she starts coming by regularly to fix your bathroom and the deck.”

Her daughter bounced on her heels and closed the washer, turning to me, worrying her lip in her mouth. She looked between her mother and me, confused at the declaration of plans.

“I didn’t know… uh… renovations to my bathroom, okay.” She said.

“You’ve been complaining about it, so we’re getting it fixed, see Abigail out.”

She wipes her hands on her shorts and leaves wet smears on the material, the handprints incasing her plump thighs. The girl guides me back to the entrance we came in, her mother wishing me farewell as I step out of the kitchen and back into the garage. I turn to her, still perched on the top of the concrete step, her breasts now eye-level. They glimmer like diamonds just before I tilt my head back and meet her reticent eyes. She holds out her hand, palm upward, demanding something.

“Phone?” She says.

“Oh right, uh I think I left it in the truck,” I say patting my pockets. “Why don’t you just take mine down?”

She removes her phone from her waistband and opens the contact page allowing me to type in my information. I look up at her and she nods at my name on the screen. I huff and start strutting out of the wide garage door. Just as my boot touches the line between the shaded concrete of the garage and driveway, I hear her sweet voice shimmer. “See ya, Ms. Anderson.”

“Bye.” I wave as the heat from outside embraces me and a collection of warmth bottles inside of me from hearing my name so velvety on her lips.

꒰ঌ ໒꒱

My neck and forehead were drenched as I rolled over to throw my legs over the couch. The tightness in my lower back that could only be saved by major corrective massaging was throbbing violently. My body stiffened from using this old couch as my bed again, the third time this week. My actual bedroom was a few steps away from the front door but I never make it there. Under my left leg was another thriller book whose name is now obsolete and could explain why I was sweaty and anxious throughout the night. I thumbed the pages and set them on the massive pile of manila folders that accumulated on the coffee table. I put my finger under my glasses and rubbed my eyes clear. What a mess my house has become. The sun wasn’t even up yet and I question why I still do any of this. This a question I ask myself every day actually. I touch the screen of my phone that I forgot to put on charge last night, again, and see all the notifications accumulated after 7:00 pm.

Payments due, meetings, consultations, etc., are all semi-organized in a calendar system I have yet to perfect.

11:00 PM: See you in the morning, Ms. Anderson :)

I felt my mouth open slightly. I was pathetic, smiling at a simple text. How long had it been since a notification on my phone was from a woman? I opened the message to type but it’s far too late to reply… right? I liked the message, saved her number as the address, and placed my phone down on the counter. I picked up my tube of toothpaste and noticed how thin it became. I will need to run to the store after work today, another thing to add to the list of shit I didn’t want to do. I used all my might to pop out the last bulb of paste.

Today was supposed to be an easy day, do the consultation, and oversee the the porch while I put up ads for an assistant I desperately needed. After slicking my hair I walked back into the living room where piles of paperwork overwhelmed the space. I needed an assistant and quickly if I was going to continue to expand my business.

Two cups of black coffee today as I discovered my creamer was congealed and rotten beyond belief. Another thing I need to do is go grocery shopping. I searched for my keys under the folders stacked on my coffee table. It was already 6:30 a.m. and by my standards, I was running late. Once every piece of paper was misplaced and out of order, I recalled my keys' presence on the loop of my cargos. I pressed my head against my seat and let out a sigh before turning on my truck and an audiobook, A Certain Hunger. Another fucking day.

My truck hummed as I parked on the street in front of the plain light blue house. I winced at my final sip of bitter caffeine while pulling the keys out of the ignition and attaching them to my belt loop. I dig in my back seat for my work bag and drag it with me to the front door. After I knocked, a man of my height opened the door to welcome me in.

“Abigail,” He said unamused by my presence.

“Good morning,” I replied.

“So, this deck came with the house and it’s very outdated and my wife would like to…”

His voice faded into a tornado of my own thoughts. It was usually the same customers, who had a ten-year-old porch or deck, wanted it to look modern and have the money to waste on it. I shouldn’t complain because I'm willing to take what they’re willing to cough up.

“Let me show you the bathroom we want to redo.”

I followed him up the hardwood steps that opened into a mezzanine that split into three directions. One I assumed was a bathroom, a master suite, and a baby pink painted door with a crown-shaped sign that said: ‘The Princess’ Room'. I found myself cracking a smile. He knocked on the door before entering, to which his restless daughter opened her eyes and pulled the duvet over her chest.

“Dad.” She groaned, catching a glimpse of me just before retreating completely under the blanket.

The view I caught of her face was soft and her lips were perfectly swollen to take into my mouth. I clear my throat and push the thought down just before nearly tripping over one of the many boxes cascading around the room. The bathroom was bright with shades of pink I had never seen before.

“We just want something black, gold, something mature for the college grad.” He tried to smile but shrugged as if his wife told him to say those exact words.

“Great, I can draft something up and give you a quote.”

“Nice, I do have to run, my rude daughter will see you out.”

His hand briefly gripped my shoulder as he walked past me. I looked over to the bed and placed my thumbs into my belt loops as she peeked from the covers. Her bare shoulders indicated that she was in no position to walk me out. I followed the deep line of her collarbone and blinked heavily. I swallowed as my cheeks became flushed and marched out of the room before finding my way back into my truck in a blur. I placed my hand on my chest and imagined my skin was hers. How it would feel under my hands after a long day and possibly how she would feel on mine too. There was a deeper ache in me that needed to be satisfied. The safety of knowing my body belonged to someone else would soothe my mind. I would finally get some release if—

A knock on my window jolted me back into reality. She was standing on the other side of the glass with her hand above her eyebrows trying to shield herself from the early morning sun. Her body is now covered in an all-white cotton sleepwear set that was hastily thrown on. I linger on the movement of her breasts and the outline of her hips as her hand gently catapults the most delicate parts of her body into a wave. The fabric held no regard for a woman’s eye like mine. The silhouette of her dark nipples and sloping v-line at the waistband of her flowing shorts pulled at a string that hadn’t been yanked in a long time. I felt a thrum deep below my belt. I turn the key to roll the window and she smiles slightly, lips slathered in a pinkish gloss that caught my attention immediately.

“Hi,” She mutters.

“Morning.” I reply.

“Um, sorry I wasn’t—”

“You’re good. So, Princess?”

I regretted saying it until her smile grew into a chuckling laughter that echoed down the silent street. I grinned with her as her skin glistened from the pure sunlight, uninterrupted of any lingering elements.

“To be fair, we’ve lived in this house forever.” She adds.

“Uh-huh, well, no worries all that pink will be gone.” I glance down to her mouth and she retracts her lips to make them vibrate with a pop.

“In a way, I’ll miss it but it's time for something new.”

Those words hung in my mind and the cadence in which said it, implying something more than just new tiles and a coat of white paint.

“Right, have a nice day,” I say.

“Oh and Abby,” She adds, leaning into the window with her perfect fingers on the windowsill. “Can you tell me when you’re coming so I can at least be dressed?”

Before I could get a word in she was already heading back through the front door of her house.

꒰ঌ ໒꒱

I sat on the sidewalk with my laptop and lawn chair, writing out a description for an assistant. I had been so used to doing everything on my own when I started but now I need to switch my methods before I can’t do it anymore. The team was getting along well with the porch and we were almost done, one week in advance, but I can’t count too much on their loud mouths to stay on task. It felt nice to sit in the sun and give my body a rest, I needed more of this. But now I was just staring at the cursor on the screen wondering what I needed an assistant to do.

As a woman who owns her own company…

(DELETE)

I am looking for someone who is …

(DELETE)

In need of an Administrative Assistant who can help with my everyday business needs. This includes filing records, sending invoices to clients, being the main contact for clients, and other tasks as assigned. If you are applying, provide a resume listing previous experience relevant to this job. Set hours of 30 per week may include, working in an office, on the job site, and traveling with me. Pay starts at $19.00 per hour. Please send your interest to [email protected]. Thank you.

I triple-checked my grammar to ensure there were no errors and posted it to all the job-hiring websites I could think of. I exhaled knowing the mess of my life would soon become organized with the assistance of someone more qualified than me to sort it out. I close my warm laptop walk around to the driver's seat and place it into my bag. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone watching me from the sidewalk.

As I lift my gaze I notice my stalker. She walks over to me, fully dressed in bright yellow athleisure and a smile. “I realized something.” She says, hands on the fat of her hips. I pause as I notice the contrast of the sunflower yellow against her skin. If I didn't know, I would mistaken her for the sun.

“And that is?”

“You told my dad you were going to mock-up something but never got what I wanted it to be. Doesn’t there have to be a meeting of some sort so you know what style I like?”

“I thought your style was black and gold?”

She stood just a foot away from me and I cast her body in my shadow, relieving her from the sun. I hovered over her but if she only knew how yielding I felt around her this persona would vanish.

“It is but I want to have some say in the creative process.” She tilts her head, milking me for every ounce of consideration.

“Of course. So, a design meeting?”

I cross my arms and not in a subtle way. It wasn’t an intentional distraction, just a habit.

“Yes.” She said, holding her eye contact with me.

“Fine. Cool,” I say and she chuckles.

A woman my age shouldn’t be saying cool.

“How does this work then?”

I open the door and bend over the seat to grab my notebook with pages crumbled and falling out.

“We schedule a meeting, I doodle a bit, and we come to an agreement. Will cost you extra though, most clients just trust my first design.” I shrug.

“Oh,”

“Is that okay with you?”

“Of course. How does tomorrow sound?”

“Oh coo— great. Tomorrow at … 3 pm?” I said, avoiding her gaze that has yet to leave my body.

“I can do that.”

“You can stop by my office tomorrow then, I will send you the address.”

#abby anderson smut #abby x reader #abby anderson x you #lesbian #abby anderson tlou2 #abby the last of us #wlw and nblw only #wlw yearning #lesbian age gap #femme4butch #dyke #abby anderson #abby tlou

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elthecreator · 7 months

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Club Banshee

Ellie Williams x black! Reader

a/n: First fanfic I hope you enjoy it my loves<3. Also if you are not black you can still read it too lmfao. This is just for my black girls. In the future I will do more poc so everyone can feel included.

I also recommend you listen to the song above as you read this cause 😮‍💨. This shit took me 4 days and 4 nights. The word count is too damn many.

Warnings: SMUT! Very Rough and aggressive sex, Oral, Slight spanking, Mean ellie!, dom ellie, bottom r!, submissive r!, begging, praising "good girl", intense teasing, build up. joel and ellie fluff. r! and ellie fluff WLW.

It was one of those nights again. Those nights where you would just so do anything to get some shit off your mind. For ellie it was one of those nights, her and joel had a huge fight earlier. Once again the two fighting because they both loved each other. But tonight.. Ellie said some things she shouldn’t have. She ended up storming out of the house, not really having a ‘plan’ of where to go in that moment. But the guilt was eating her up. No amount of alcohol could get her mind away from their fight. So after about a concerning amount of beers, she stumbles into a strip club.

“Club Banshee” it was titled in bright purple neon strobe lights, at the top of the building. As soon as she walked in she saw a bunch of people. Although, It was 1 am on a Thursday night so of course there were a bunch of people. Female and Male. 99% of those males are married of course. The creep looking types, type of dudes with a wife and three kids. Not surprised though. A bunch of neon green and purple lights surrounded the area.

Making Ellie feel even more tipsy.

Girls danced up on the silver poles on the stage. Revealing outfits, heels and the smell of perfume and alcohol mixed. The dudes tipping the girls on the stage. Ellie sat at a bar nearby, unzipping her jacket. She wore a navy dark blue hoodie underneath her grey jacket, and her classic rough fabric jeans. Letting out a frustrated sigh before ordering more beer. While waiting she glanced at the stage.

Sleek bodies dancing scandalously on the stage. Such seductive creatures....it made between her legs start to throb. Trying to ignore her urges her beer finally came. A girl with short maroon fluffy hair and sharp winged eyeliner served her the beer.

"So why are you here tonight?" She asked curiously to the drunken ellie. Trying to make conversation as she wiped the bar island down.

"Actually, let me guess. Your husband is not pleasing you? Oh! divorcing? Or an alcoholic?" She said immediately trying to estimate why she was here.

Ellie chuckled lightly as she took a sip of her beer bottle. Now sarcastically questioning. "Do I look like I have a husband?" She said looking back at the waitress, one of her eyebrows raised slightly.

"..No not at all" She said chuckling a little back. "My apologies, that's all we get around here. It makes it a guessing game now you know? Plus..I may have had too many to drink." She said snickering

"So, why are you here then? I can't think of any other reason?"

She asked again curiously.

Ellie took a sip of her beer before replying. "Sometimes you want to take shit off your mind."

"Oh..yeah I know what you mean." She said nodding her head looking and listening to her.

Ellie nodded her head back at her. Letting out another frustrated sigh. The waitress now spoke again as she noticed Ellies frustration.

"You know, their having a show tonight? One of the solos. You should stay.. relax. Sometimes if your lucky enough some of the girls will let you take them home." She said winking at Ellie. Now walking away to go wash some glasses.

The drunken Ellie sat there reasoning about what the lady said.

Taking another sip of her beer, getting up from the stool. Leaving a twenty dollar tip for how generous the waitress was. Approaching a seat to watch the stage. Beer bottle in hand. Sitting down on the velvet seat man spreading in front of the stage, brushing a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. It had came out her half up half down usual style. The lights started to get a little dim as the two girls on the stage made way for another. One on each side as another one came from behind the curtain filled the middle of the stage.

There you were. Your curly afro that sat up perfectly. Silk soft dark brown curls. You reeked of oils and incense. Sweet scents.. the type of scent you smell once and never smell again. Pretty and polished. Your natural curves..your slender arms. Your tiny waist and wide hips. Eye candy to all around you. Putting everyone in a trance as you walked on stage. In your black corset with silk red ribbons. Your tiny black skirt stopping mid thigh. Red platformed heels with more red silk ribbon that wrapped around both your ankles matching your corset. Your boobs perfectly popped out your corset. Your mocha brown skin shimmering in the strobe light. Starting to now swerve and sway around the sleek silver pole. So carefully..so slow you turned. Mysterious and alluring you were on that stage. There was just.. something about you. You were different than all the other girls on those poles. You didn't give it all away. You didn't immediately throw yourself at these women and men. You weren't so desperate. Thats what made you so seductive. Alluring..everyone wandered about you. Not being able to keep their eyes away. You took your time on that pole. Curves all in the right place..arching your back perfectly when needed. Everyone was under your spell. All. Eyes. On. You.

Ellie was fucking bricked. Watching you as you made your entrance. Arching your back on the pole. Dropping down to your ankles slowly..swaying around the pole. All so slowly. The sound of your heels clicking after each sway made her throb. The song in the background playing as you trapped everyone in. Bathroom by Montell Fish. She couldn't keep her damn eyes off you. Manspreading in the seat as she took a sip from her beer bottle. Feel the heat between her legs get intense. Everyone around the room watched you. You weren't even seen as just sex appeal or a sexual object. Everyone was admiring your beauty. Your long legs..your silk curls. Admiring your presence. Especially Ellie. Her eyes continued to trail on you throughout your whole solo. Eventually the other girls on the side of the stage had left. It was just you. All eyes on you. She was arroused and mesmerized by your performance. Every so often you would glance back at her too. The tension in the room getting hotter.

Your performance had now ended. The lights starting to come back on. Everyone around you clapping and whistling loudly. Ellie was clapping too. Ellie went back to the bar for now, unable to get you off her mind. Drinking yet another beer. When you came out from backstage heading over to the bar. Sitting right beside her on one of the stools at the bar island. Wearing a big coat over your scandalously revealing outfit.

“Can I get two margaritas? Please?” You say in your sweet sounding tone. A little raspy and a little pitched. Perfect. Ellie glanced over at you over a split second, surprised to see you here.

You and the waitress talked a little bit, the waitress obviously knowing most of the strippers here. But Ellie could tell you two were a little closer. Ellie stayed quiet, sipping her beer. Until when you and the waitresses were done with your conversation. You looked over at Ellie with a bright welcoming smile.

“Hey, you were watching my show right?” You said looking over at Ellie.

Ellie looked back at her. “Oh, yeah I was. Your pretty good.” She said a little froze up. Caught off guard you would speak to her.

“Thanks.” You replied smiling.

“Why are you here tonight?” You said trying to maintain conversation. Taking a sip of your margarita.

“I’m here because I’m a dick.” She exclaimed frustratingly.

“..you’re not a dick.” You said looking over at her with a concern look on your face.

She chuckled a little before looking over to you. “Baby you don’t even know me.” She responded.

“I know that we all make mistakes. We all say things we don’t mean in the moment.” You said looking back at her. Taking another sip of your margarita.

“I guess. It’s just irritating …fighting with someone because you love them so much.”

She expressed breathing out.

Taking a few seconds to respond before asking. “Girlfriend?” You asked curiously. But also knowing what you were doing.

Ellie snickered at the question. “That obvious?” She was referring to herself looking so much like a lesbian.

“A little.” You said laughing with her.

Ellie smiled slightly. “No, not a girl. My dad.”

You were nodding trying to relate.

Your boobs sat up perfectly in your corset. All pushed up and shimmery looking from the glitter.

Ellie couldn’t help but stare at them. Wondering what they would look like without that stupid corset. This is when the tension started to rise. Your voice brought her back into reality, she’s was trapped in her dirty thoughts.

“Doesn’t mean..it’s a bad thing.” You said referring to the girlfriend comment you made earlier. Quick to look away.

“Oh?. Care to elaborate?” She said said with a slight smirk on her face as she took another sip from her beer. Intrigued, in what you meant.

“You know what I mean.” You said chuckling lightly. Flustered even. Starting to obviously flirt with her. Seeing if she would do the same.

“If you think I’m attractive just say that.” She said halfway joking like she usually does. That smug smirk still on her face.

“Don’t get too cocky miss.” You said teasing her.

“I’m not cocky if it’s the truth. You aren’t bad looking yourself.” She expressed as she looked at you. Couldn’t stop staring at your boobs pushed up against your corset. Feeling herself began to have that ‘throbbing’ feeling she had when watching you on that pole again.

You grinned. Mocking her. “Care to elaborate?”

You said proudly.

She laughed. From there on the two of you talked and flirted all night. Talked about sentimental topics, Ellie even told you about Joel. You told her about you and your journeys as she did the same. The both of you clicked, she got to know you as a person a little bit not just seeing you for your body. The waitress poured the two of you drinks all night long. Only making Ellie wanna talk to you more.

The club started to close and so did the bar. You were putting on your coat getting ready to go suddenly when Ellie stopped you.

“Hey I uh..forgot to give this to you earlier.”

She muttered as she stopped you. Handing you twenty dollars.

“You were pretty good up there. That’s all I brought right now I was extremely drunk.” She complained, face palming herself gently.

You smiled brightly in Awe. “Thank you miss?”

You questioned realizing you hadn’t got her name.

“Ellie.” She replied smiling. “And you are?” She questioned back at you.

“Y/N”

The both of you talked so much and we’re wrapped so much in conversation you forgot to get one another’s name.

“Hey um. You know you could come to my place? Just to.. ‘talk’.. I’m pretty sure Joel’s asleep.” She nervously asked.

"I would love to." You replied. Trying not to seem too excited.

Soon enough the both of you arrived at Ellie’s house. Joel was in fact asleep, Ellie stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching him for a moment. Still feeling a little guilt. Walking over to his bed tucking him in comfortably as he slept. Walking out of the room quietly closing the door. Going back to meet you in her room. She had band posters all over her walls. AC DC, Nirvana, Korn, Slipknot, Paramore, and Rob Zombie. You name it and it was there. She had a guitar in the corner with a huge bean bag. She closed the door behind her when coming back in, approaching you taking off your big coat. You stood there in your black corset with red ribbons. Sitting down in the bean bag. Looking around the room curiously with your eyes.

"You have good taste in music." You said smirking at her from across the room.

"Thanks. Rocks my favorite genre." Ellie added to your comment, smiling back at you as she made her bed. "You want anything? Thirsty? Hungry?" She said glancing over to you. Wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm alright, thanks for asking." You expressed. Liking how she cared.

From this point forward, Ellie couldn't stop her disgusting thoughts. Your skirt was too short. Stopping at your mid-thigh, she swore she could see your black laced panties from across the room. Your breast kept pushing up further against your corset. Driving her fucking insane. All of it was driving her insane. Your scent in the air of her bedroom, smelling like fresh Lavendar or baby oil. She could feel herself throbbing. Wanting to just devour you right there on that damn bean bag while Joel was asleep.

She wasn't the only one aching in that moment, you kept crossing your legs while sitting down. Hoping to stop your ache between your legs. Fuck, her hands. Her fucking hands. The tattoo that went down her arm. The muscles in her fingers, how she looked like she could pick you up with one hand. The constant serious look in her face like she has killed 100 men.

Her stupid hair that drove you nuts. Or her musk. Smelling like fresh rain and alcohol. Or her stance, that damn stance she would sit in. Man spreading every time she sat down. The way she drank that beer. She was driving you to the edge. The both of you yearning for one another hungrily. Ellie sat on the bed on the other side of the room. Attempting her best not to look at you, scrolling on her phone.

You made up your mind. Abruptly walking over to her. Immediately straddling yourself on her lap instantly starting to kiss her aggressively. With no warning whatsoever. She reacted just as quick as you did, throwing her phone to the side of the bed instantly. Grabbing your hips as she kissed you back. You grinded yourself roughly against her crotch. The rough fabric of her jeans rubbing on your thighs. Ellie was completely caught off guard, but boy did she follow your lead. She grinded up into you as the two of you continued to suck faces. Dry humping each other on her bed. Her tongue exploring your mouth as she started to grab your fat ass. She groaned feeling your ass against her crotch. She started to go for your neck, aggressively pecking at it. It was like she couldn’t wait to get her fucking grimy hands on you. Leaving marks all down your neck, trails of them down to your breast. You whimpered trembling as she cupped your breast. Immediately kissing them in your corset. Your fingers twirled around her hair as she continued to leave marks on you. You breathed out into her ear. Groaning quietly. She held you up on her lap with her hands on your hips for support.

“Take this shit off.” Ellie demanded. Hungrily attempting to take it off of you. You helped her take it off. Your breasts now exposed to the cool air. She stared at them for a moment, her face an inch away from your brown nipples.

“Your fucking beautiful.” She exclaimed looking up at you. Her words caressed your heart, making you feel like the most perfect woman on planet earth right now. After her encouraging words, like a shot she started going on an absolute rampage on your boobs. Burying her face in them, sucking hard. The sounds of her slurping and sucking filled the room. So did your soft moans. “..fuck..Ellie..”’ A chorus of those exact words. She was so aggressive with it. Your nipples were already hard she just made them grow harder in her mouth. Your clit throbbed inside your panties. Sleek liquids began to slip out your pussy. Ellie groaned as she sucked on your breasts. She had waited all night to do this. Clearly. She came back up to kiss you deeply. Aggressively. Like she couldn't get enough. You were intoxicating, and she was going to make sure you knew that. Hostilely tearing your skirt off you. Lying flat on your back on the bed, she crawled on top of you. Spreading your legs wide for her. Slithering her hand down your stomach between your legs. Rubbing your swollen clit.

"Fuck. Right there." You expressed, your lips pressed against her ear.

She pushed one finger inside of you while rubbing your clit.

"Fuck your so wet for me.." She groaned during the process of pleasuring you. Your soft moans filled the room, the both of you trying to do all of this without waking Joel who was just down the hall. Ellie leaned on the side of you, her face buried in your neck while she stretches you out. "Such a pretty pussy." She whispered against your neck. "..mmmm....fuuckkk." You groaned.

"You think you can take two fingers baby?" She said exiting her finger out of you. You agreed obediently, she was being so gentle with you. For now. She slowly pushed both her fingers inside of you. You winced a little in pain. "Shh...I'm right here." She mumbled against your cheek. Slowly moving both her fingers in and out of your glistening pussy. As time passed she began to go faster. Thrusting her fingers in an ‘in out’ motion. You clutched on to the sleeve of her hoodie on her arm as time had go on. Throwing your head back and rolling your eyes in the back of your head from pleasure. She was stretching you out, perfectly. Making sure you were nice and ready for her cock. “Look at you taking my fingers so well. Good girl.” She purred looking at you beneath her. “Your legs spread open for me like a fucking slut.” She said bluntly in your ear as she continued to fuck you faster with her fingers.

“..fuck…” You whimpered in her ear.

She put an end to stretching you out, pinning you to to the bed before standing up.

“Don’t move.” She said glaring down at you on the bed. She was walking over to her dresser, clearly scouring for something. Meanwhile she was doing that, you quietly got up from the bed coming from behind her. After she specifically told you not to move your ass. She turned around feeling you behind her. “What did I say?” She spoke bluntly. You dropped to your knees starting to unbuckle her leather belt around her rough fabric jeans. Looking up at her from the ground.

“Let me make it up to you.” You said unbuckling her pants. Slowly pulling down her panties. She watched you from above looking down on you on your knees. She was aching hard. Your face inches away from her bare pussy. You started with a gently teasing lick on her outer lips. All while staring up at her. Ellie spreaded her legs more for you, giving you better access. That’s when you buried your face in her pussy. Sucking her clit and slurping her folds. A chorus of “mm..” sounds came from you as you ate her out. She held up your curly Afro for you so your hair didn’t get in the way. Throwing her head back grunting. “Fuck.” Ellie moaned bluntly. She was DRENCHED. So wet her juices were dripping down your chin. She had been soaked for you all night long. Your tongue swayed around her entrance. She was moaning more than she thought she would. Trying to cover her own mouth so she wouldn’t wake up Joel who happened to be down the hall.

“That’s right..fuck…make it up to me you filthy slut.” She groaned, pushing your head farther into her pussy. You could barely breathe, but you didn’t care and Ellie sure as hell didn’t.

She eventually let you up to breathe a little bit. You panted, your head against her leg breathing. “Now, go get on the bed.” She demanded watching you follow. Ellie found what she had been scouring for in the drawers. A pink strap on. 7.5 inches, 1.5 width. She walked over to the bed you were lying on. Taking off her shirt, now only in her sports bra. God. You watched her peel every piece of fabric off her body. Her toned stomach and thighs. Her muscular body. Fuck.

“Get on all fours.” She demanded watching you comply. You were in a doggy stance but held yourself up with your hands.

“Ah ah, no. Hands behind your back.” She demanded again. Such an uncomfortable position for you. But she didn’t seem to care. The pleasure was too much for you to even care. She started to put on the strap on. Ready to fuck your brains out. Using her knees to open your legs wider for her. “Arch your back some more for me baby.” Ellie whispered, you obeyed once again. Her sleek long cock started to enter you. You felt full already. Setting herself up behind you, her hands gripping your wide hips. She was starting to move. You let out breaths of relief feeling her start her rhythm. She held your hands in place behind your back. With the other hand she gripped your hip. “You have to stay quiet, we cannot wake up Joel.” She said kissing down your back, continuing her rhythmic movement behind your ass. “I make no promises.” You said teasingly grinning into the mattress. She grinded into your pussy. Your dark pinkish clit swelled up as she fucked you from behind. She kissed your neck a few times before coming back up to her stance. Warning you. “This is the last time im being gentle with you y/n.” You gulped quietly. “Do whatever you want with me.” You groaned. She grinned, her abdomen getting closer to your ass. Her nails digging in your hips, starting to fuck you hard. With no count down, no warning. She slammed into you repeatedly. The bed began to creak loudly. You could hear her grunt behind you.

"Fuck. Just like that..just like that. You whimpered into the mattress. She tightened her grip on your wrists. Continuously slamming into you. Your pussy swallowed her cock repeatedly. Your pussy growing wetter than earlier, Ellie being just as wet. Every time she slammed into you the strap on would grind into her pussy making her grunt each time. Wet sounds echoed in the room. A creaking bed moving every time Ellie did so. Your toned ass cheeks slapping against her abdomen. The sounds of your whimpering began to fill the room.

All you did was fuss. You wouldn’t shut up. Your face was buried so far into that fucking mattress you swear the patterns on it made indents on your cheek. “Face down, ass up.” Ellie ordered. You were starting to come out of your position because of how hard she was ramming into you. She held you in place with one hand. The other still on your hip. Her muscles flexing as she held you into place. “Please. I c-can’t. It’s too fucking much.” You muffledly whined with your head buried into the bed. “Thats too fucking bad isn’t it?” She said smirking, forcing you to take it. Take her cock. Take it all in. You started to come out of your position again. Noticing that she slapped your ass hostilely. So harsh you had a red hand mark on your ass. “Hold. Fucking. Still. What did I just say?.” She said slapping you again. Making you yelp in pain but pleasure. With no response from you she slapped you again. “What did I fucking say?!” She yelled trying not to wake up Joel. “..hold still.” You panted out. She continued to slam into you only harder this time. Wanting to teach you a lesson. You stayed in place, not daring to move anymore. The tension rose between you two. The bed creaking, the sweat, the uncomfortable position that also gave you so much pleasure. How rough she was with you. How the both of you still had to remain silent or you were going to wake up her dad. The adrenaline rush. All of it added to your pleasure. High off of sex. Your current mood.

“..gonna..cum soon.” You said nearly above a whisper. Your words broke into syllables due to her ramming behind you making you vibrate. “Mm..you cum when I do.” She whispered. Her voice raspy and low. She stopped for a moment. “..why did you stop…?” You said disappointed. “Shh.” She whispered, now leaning closer to your back. Grabbing on one of your boobs with one hand. The other keeping your wrists locked behind your back. “Don’t make a sound.” She breathed against your ear. Darting into you the fastest she could go. Too fast. Making you take the whole thing. She squeezed your boob as she continued to fuck you harder than she did before. It was like she was challenging you. Testing you to see how much you could take. How long you could stay quiet. She was trying to break you. It was like Ellie found pure joy in this. “Fuck!!” You cried out loudly. Loud enough your moans echoed Into the hall. After she specifically told you not to make a sound. You couldn’t help it, she unexpectedly darted into you with no warning whatsoever. She quickly covered your mouth, tightly. “You have to be quiet! Your going to wake up Joel.” She whispered in your ear as she fucked you. You couldn’t help but make sounds. Muffled cries filled the air. You could hear her grunting harder behind you. “Fuck.” She groaned. Your juices and cum slithered onto her strap. You were tearing up, the pleasure was too much. It was all too much for you. Ellie didn’t give a fuck. She was going to make you take it. She shoved her fingers in your mouth. Making you suck. You deep throated her fingers, sucking them. Tasting her flesh. Starting to choke she took them out. You were attempting to speak. Trying to tell her to stop. But all your words came out in whimpers and syllables. Not being able to form sentences. “I know baby I know.” She cooed softly in your ear. “Your being so good for me. Such a good girl.” She praised you. Ellie groaned in your ear. Starting to feel her climax reach it’s end. Your pussy was so slippery on her cock. Both of you throbbing to cum. “m’gonna cum.” She moaned softly against your neck. “God..you feel so fucking good y/n.” She said whining. The praise felt good. The both of you starting to go over the edge. Your highs going too far. “I’m gonna cum!” You cried into the mattress. “I’m right here baby. I’m right here.” She groaned still holding onto your right boob. Heaved breaths filled both of your ears. Feeding off of one another’s high. “Oh fuck!” She cried, reaching her climax as you did so too. Cumming into one another. Your cries were choked up. Eyes rolling into the back of your head. Her hand remaining over your mouth. Gasping for air as you came. Orgasming both of you together. Her strap was absolutely soaked. Your cum all over it her cum all over it. Sticky and warm. Ellie heaved in her breathing. Trying to catch her breath. She had let go of your wrist. Still laying on top of you. You panted heavily. Both of you coming down from your high. She flipped off of you to the other side of the bed. Taking off the strap throwing it on the floor. You remained beside her. Both of you heavily breathing, exhausted.

Heavily breathing in silence for a moment. Just staring up at the ceiling before she says.

“No man at that club has fucked you that good before, huh?.” She said chuckling. Cracking jokes after sex.

“Cocky.” You said chuckling. You were a little far from her. She patted a spot close beside her. You crawled over. Laying your head on her chest. You could hear her heavy breathing slowly come down. Her arm over your shoulder. Both of you naked. “That was amazing.” You said closing your eyes. Ellie smirked a little. “We should do it again some time.” She said looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah.” You agreed, starting to get up off the bed. About to put your shirt on before she stopped you. “Hey, where are you going?” She questioned you, sitting up. Watching you getting ready to leave. “I’m a stripper baby. I’m guessing that you want me to leave now.”

You said in a disappointed tone as you started to put your panties on. “I don’t want you to leave.” She said bluntly. You turned around to look at her surprised. “You don’t..?” You said stopping in your tracks. “No.” She voiced. Patting the same spot you had been in once before. You hesitatingly crawled up on the bed. Lying beside her with your head on her chest. Ellie tucked you in with her and the white/sage green mixed covers. She looked at you for a minute, analyzing your features. “May I touch your hair?.” She blurted out. Asking for permission before she touched your Afro. “Yes” you said with a smile. Butterflies in your stomach. It’s always good to ask to touch a black girls hair. She placed her slender fingers in your delicate dark curls. Your hair was thick. Smelling like rosemary oil and lavender. Your curls were a good inch down your back. Twirling her fingers around your strands. You spoke. “..usually everyone wants me to leave after….you know.” You said in a sour tone. “Well everyone should know your a human being with feelings too.” She expressed, still playing with your hair. You could feel your heart flutter. For once you felt like not just a ‘one night stand’. “How long have you and Joel been together..?” You said after some silence. Ellie chuckled a little. “Too long.” She said jokingly. The both of you snuggled up to one another’s warmth. In the covers. “That’s how me and my mom were.” You said closing your eyes.

“You two don’t talk anymore..?.” Ellie asked carefully. Not wanting to push your buttons or anything. “No. Not really. I miss her though. A lot.” You mumbled. Ellie stopped playing with your hair, pulling you closer to her. Both your nude bodies pressed together. Her chin on the top of your head. “You should call her. Trust me. I have my regrets.” She expressed. Staring into space. You nodded. Taking Ellie’s advice. The two of you laid there quietly. Worn out from your earlier events. “Ellie.” You called out. “..hm..?” she replied. Coming up to her eye level you pressed your lips on hers. Kissing her softly. Not out of sexual intention. Just wanted to kiss her. Affectionately. She kissed you back. Not expecting that. You cupped her face gently. The two of you kissing for quite some time before Ellie broke the kiss. “Hey, I was thinking. Maybe you and me..could get some coffee one day.” She said hesitantly. Clearly nervous about what you would say. You smiled warmly. Thinking her nervousness was adorable. “Are you asking me on a date?” You said teasing her. “Um..yea. Yes yes I suppose.” She said stammering her words. You chuckled. “I would love to.” You assured her. Kissing her face. She kissed you back smiling into your skin. Soon after, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.

The morning after. You remained asleep on her chest. Quietly breathing. Ellie slowly arose. The sun shining through the blinds brightly on the other side of her room. She watched you for a moment in ‘awe’. Before gently moving trying not to awake you. Making sure you laid your head comfortably on the bed. Tucking you in. She put on one of her hoodies from her drawer. Trying to clean up a little after last night. Leaving her room quietly closing the door behind her. Joel’s door was cracked, he wasn’t in the room. Ellie could smell breakfast. Sunny side up and orange juice. Quietly walking down the hall. Scratching the back of her neck nervously. Seeing Joel in the kitchen cooking. His back turned to Ellie, he was at the stove. “Morning.” He spoke broadly. “Morning.” Ellie replied. Silence filled the room. Joel broke the silence. “Where’d you go last night?” He asked curious. Now setting out plates on the counter. “Um, nowhere really. I was just walking in circles.” She said trying not to let him sense her lies. He nodded at that. The both of them didn’t say much. I don’t think the pair even knew exactly what to say. “Hey um Joel.” Ellie said slowly approaching him. “I wanted to apologize. ..for last night. I was being fucking selfish. I should have never said everything I had said. I didn’t mean any of-“ Joel cut her off. “I know kiddo.” He said turning to her. Smiling. Ellie looked hopeful. Looking up at Joel. Kinda of teary. Joel pulled Ellie into a hug. Rubbing her back gently. Ellie hugged him back tightly. The feeling of forgiveness and love was mutual. Joel broke the hug. “Now help me set out plates.” Ellie nodded at that. “She was setting out plates, but there were three?. Joel turned his back around again to finish the food before announcing.

“Oh, go wake up your girlfriend too before the food gets cold.” He hinted. Sounding like he was grinning while saying that sentence. Ellie was absolutely speechless. Just staring at Joel’s back with her mouth open. Before she could say anything he turned around saying. “Well we don’t have all day do we? Hurry the food is getting cold as we speak.”

Joel was truly the water to Ellie’s fire.

#Spotify #tlou #black tumblr #lgbtqia #the last of us #ellie williams #joel miller #abby anderson #abby tlou #ellie tlou #smut #black reader #fanfic #wlw post #girls with tattoos #books and reading #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #elthecreator

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elliesmainhoe · 1 year

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Hi! Would you write something where Ellie comes back to Jackson crying after she finds out what Joel did at the hospital and reader obviously rushes over- but she gets angry at r and asks if she knew all along too.

Ellie says something like so you let me kiss you or fall in love with you knowing you were lying this whole time, infront of Joel Tommy etc and they find our r and Ellie are dating!

Sorry this is so loaded!!! This is what my mind does at work 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Why?!

Ellie Williams x Reader • FatherFigure!Joel x Reader

Summary: it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean Joel slaughtering all the fireflies seven years ago was a pretty hard secret to be kept quiet- but you still wish it never reached Ellie's ears.

Content: death mention, arguments, crying, confrontation, guilt, angst, cliffhanger

You were feeling pretty lonely that morning, Ellie was out on patrol with your friends and due to a nasty sprained ankle you were forced to stay home. So instead of moping in your self pity, you limped out of your house and across the street- knocking on Joel's front door.

"Oh hey kiddo- come in, come in" the old man smiled at you, his arm linking with yours as he helped you navigate through the copious amounts of clutter scattered through his house.

"Me and Tommy were just having a cup of coffee. You want one?" He asked once he'd say you down on the barstool at his kitchen island. "Where'd you find coffee old man? That's shits like liquid gold"

"One. A wise man never tells his secrets. Two. Never call me old again. Three. Do you want some or not?" He quipped the corner of his mouth lifting up into a smirk.

"yes Joel. I would like some coffee"

"what's the magic word?" He raised his brow

"please?"

"Don't torment the poor girl" you heard the sound of Tommy's voice emerge from the attached living room

"Hey Tommy" you greeted the man "Hey kid how's the ankle?"

"Killing me"

"don't be such a baby- could've been broken" Joel interrupted only to be answered swiftly by your middle finger.

"You wound me" he joked.

Joel had been the closet thing to a father you had ever had. You were raised by your mother until you were thirteen, your biological father had been bitten during your mom's pregnancy.

You remember it well, you were eating in the cafeteria- scoffing on beef jerky when Maria (your mom's best friend) entered with two strangers and Tommy.

An older man with dark brown hair and a black and grey speckled beard. And a girl, your age, her messy brown hair tied up in a ponytail. She seemed cool.

It took you a week to build up the courage to talk to the girl. And on the chilly Friday morning, you walked into Jackson's cafeteria wearing a thick winter coat as snow settled into your frizzy hair- determined.

Unlike every other day that week, Ellie was missing- the usual table she frequented occupied by someone else eating their breakfast. Instead you approached your mom, who was chatting to Maria and some other ladies.

You leaned forward and whispered in her ear "The girl isn't here...". The past few days your mom had been encouraging you to chat with the new girl. Everyone knew how quiet and shy you were- you struggled making friends and your mom immediately began willing you to talk to the brunette as soon as you showed interest in becoming her friend.

"Hey Maria-" your mother called, drawing maria out of the conversation she was having with another lady. "Where did the new guy and his daughter go?"

"oh Joel and Ellie? They left- said that they had to go meet someone- Tommy wouldn't elaborate on where. Don't know when they'll be back"

It was three months before they returned. During those three months your mother had suffered a terrible accident. She was out on patrol one day- she was sick with a fever, but was too stubborn to tell anyone. She fainted during a runner attack- giving the infected an easy meal.

Ellie was different when she got back and so we're you- she didn't smile and she seemed more timid, not glaring at anyone who walked past like she did before- instead keeping her head hung and eyes on her feet. Your usual shy demeanor was even more so- you were currently living in a spare room of Maria's house- hiding in your bedroom and not seeing anyone.

Maria did eventually lure you out- a new film was being screened and it was one you'd always wanted to see. It was good- but halfway through the movie a plot twist that hit a bit too close to home (a tragedy stricken death of a parent) you decided you need a breather.

You weren't paying attention to the direction your feet were taking you until the familiar sound of Tommy's voice met your ears.

"What's wrong with you Joel? What the fuck happened to you out there?"

"The fireflies- the cure... It would've killed her-"

A pause.

"What did you do Joel?"

Another pause.

"I saved her."

You peered through the doorway "Saved who?"

"Where's your head at kid?" Joel's gruff voice pulled you out of your head as he put down a steaming mug infront of you.

"Thanks Joel." You took a hesitant sip of the dark liquid, pressing your lips into a thin line in thought- "Do you know when Ells gonna be back from patrol? I need to head back to the couch so she doesn't realize I've moved by myself."

"When did they leave?" Tommy asked leaning against Joel's brown kitchen cabinets. "Two-hours ago ish"

"Well if they're taking the route I think they are- then another two hours"

The three of you fell into conversation, chatting about anything and everything while sipping the liquid gold out of the ceramic mugs.

••••••••••••

Twenty minutes passed- your cup now empty, a stained ring left on the graphite counters behind in it's wake as you observed the conversation happening before you, adding little quips in here and there.

A loud bang startled you, your heart stuttering in suprise as the familiar sound of heavy walking boots hits your ears.

"Kiddo- is that you?"

Ellie stormed in- her face red and blotchy, as tear stains ran down her cheeks. "Why?!" She spoke sternly ,but a small break was still evident in her voice.

"What? Kid, what do you mean 'why?'." Joel asked, approaching Ellie only for her to take an unstable step backwards. "The fireflies. I know about it. Why..? Just-" she paused "why Joel?!"

Joel stood there in silence, looking at his daughter and trying to figure out what to say- Tommy's figure stayed anxiously still, as if he hoped he would blend into the background.

Ellie's eyes wanders towards your sitting frame, analysing you. "Why don't you seem surprised...?" She whispered, eyes begining to well with tears again. You sighed.

"Ells..."

"No. No" she denied- the water that had built up finally spilling from her eyes. "Don't- you knew?"

You stayed silent before hesitantly nodding your head, confirming her suspicions.

Silence had never felt so uncomfortable. Her stare burnt into you, her hands shook and you couldn't decide whether it was due to anger or sadness. "I can't-... I can't fucking believe it..."

Her hand covered her mouth, muffling a sob that slipped through her lips. "You- you let me fall in love with you, while lying the whole fucking time. How could you do that?!?" Her tone was frustrated and confused and God... It broke your heart.

Tommy and joels attention turned to you. You and Ellie had never explicitly told them you were in a relationship, there were rumours of course, but you both valued privacy too much to go around parading your relationship to possible homophobes and bigots that could live in Jackson.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. I just i-" you hesitated.

"you just WHAT!" She yelled, " I have kissed you and trusted you and you kept the most important secret from me... How could you do that?!"

Your voice failed you. So many words wanted to leave your mouth but none of them could. After being met with silence she scoffed, rolling her teary eyes and turning on her heels.

"Don't try and find me. I need time to think..." The sound of rushed footsteps became quieter before another large slam of Joel's front door sounded out again.

Fuck.

------------

Idk if I like this or not :/

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ellieluvr420 · 4 months

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We meet again, darling pt.18 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader x detective Ellie Williams)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Violence (shit is kind of heavy ibr) and mentions of abuse btw!

“YOU FUCKING BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT?” Your brother screeched as he storms into your penthouse, you can’t see him yet but you imagine the beetroot colour of his face that he always suffered from growing up.

“What’s got you so riled up?” You’re standing at your island drinking a coffee and going over some last minute details for your travel plans. He storms over and immediately grabs you by the throat, slamming you back into your fridge behind you.

“Don’t give me that shit you little cunt. What the fuck are you doing?” You move carefully to remove your knife from its holster that’s hidden by your blazer, once it’s firmly in your grip you rapidly bring it up and slash the outside of your brother’s wrist. He growls at the pain and back hands you once hard with his other hand, it sends you stumbling to the corner of the counter where you grip on to steady yourself.

“I can’t even tell you how much you look like Dad right now.”

“Oh you are so fucking predictable.”

“Same to you.”

“The fuck do you mean by that?”

“God if mum was here she’d wash your mouth out with soap.” He comes at you with a psychotic look on his face but you’re prepared so you wait for him to get closer and knee him directly in the crotch and then elbow him hard in the nose. He goes down onto his knees and you kick so he falls on his back as he coughs and groans. “You look pathetic right now. That’s what you’ve always been, pathetic. That’s why I had to run shit, because you’re a pathetic, incompetent pussy that can’t do what’s necessary. If you wanted me out of the way, you should’ve just killed me. I would’ve respected you more for that than this bullshit.”

Your voice is raised but you aren’t yelling, he looks at you as you speak and you notice his difficulty focusing but you just stand and stare at the last bit of family you had left, the thought of killing him saddened you for a second but as you watched him writhing around on the floor before he struggles to stand again the sadness morphs into something more energising.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh now who’s feigning ignorance? Ricky Matthews, Johnny. Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out? How stupid are you?”

“I was hoping that they’d catch you before you could, figured your little girlfriend would lead them right to you.”

“I guess you underestimated their loyalty.”

“Their? You sick freak, you're with both of them? I should've fucking known, never could resist what you couldn't have could you?"

"Think I've proved I can have them actually, I've proved over and over again that I can have them, I've had them a lot." A sinister grin grows on your face and his twists into a face of disgust, he honestly looked like he was seconds away from heaving.

"You know I could get over you being a dyke but this, you're not fucking normal! I never believed anyone when they would tell me you're unholy, I always defended you when people said you were Satan's gift to Earth. I've gone along with your story of our parents since you killed them. I was wrong and you were born wrong, there are bad people and then there's you. You trapped me in this shit and I'm done, I need to be rid of you."

You weren't hurt at his words, you didn't feel anything, but your body felt lighter as everything inside you felt like it darkened. You had always had a soft spot for your brother and it always weighed on you, kept you grounded but as you feel its weight dissipating you feel a new sense of warmth as your hatred of him burns a fire deep inside you.

"My story of our parents? What the story of our parents? Are you actually trying to tell me I'm lying about them?"

"We didn't kill them, YOU DID."

"Fine fine, yes okay I killed them but I've protected their AND your honour all these years, I've never told anyone what went on in our white picket fence house. Typical suburban family right? I'm lying when I say we weren't that Johnny, am I?" He huffs and looks down at the floor avoiding your crazed eyes. "You gutless weasel, look at me when I'm speaking to you. Am I lying Johnny?"

He looks up and there are tears in his eyes and it only makes the fire of your hatred for him burn hotter, everything in you was ready to boil over as you held back your rage with every ounce of strength you had.

"I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry for how they treated you. It never even seemed like it affected you, you were the most popular girl in school, I was known as your brother even before you went there, every boy wanted you, every girl wanted to be your friend, you did well in school, you did clubs, you seemed happy so I thought you were okay."

"Oh I was fine. That's the point Johnny, I don't feel anything right? I'm psychotic, sociopathic, narcissistic, what else is there? Let's go through the list hm, bet I fit the criteria for more disorders than I don't. That's why I was numb to it, but do you not think maybe you could've tried to intervene when our dad tried to strangle me with his fucking belt? Yeah I don't feel things but I fucking felt that. But I looked happy so it was okay to just let him continue breaking my ribs when he had had a bad day right?"

"I'm sorry, I was scared."

"Exactly, you were a fucking coward, never once had he ever even raised his voice at you or his fucking wife but you're scared that he's gonna give you the same licks I was getting daily if you step in. Better me than you, you were a fucking coward then and you're a fucking coward now."

"God if you despised me so much why didn't you kill me with them?"

"Because I needed you, do you think I could've got this far if I hadn't had you as my posterboy?"

"So you've put me through hell so you could use me?"

"Yeah."

"See! This is what I fucking mean, can't you see it?"

"What? That I'm a bad person? Of course I fucking see it. But I kill and I hurt and I abuse when it serves a purpose to me, not because my ego is so fragile I need to pick on someone I know can't fight back."

"And that makes it okay?"

"No obviously not but that's the point, I don't care. I don't care that it isn't okay to kill your parents and I don't care that it isn't okay to kill your brother. I don't concern myself with justifying my actions I just do it." You spit your words at him as you pull your gun from its holster and aim it directly at his heart.

"Why couldn't you have been normal?" He pleads and your hand with the gun waivers as you actually feel a pain in your chest, its a foreign feeling and you clutch at it with your free hand as you focus on your brothers hunched form.

"Do you know what? I wouldn't have been able to blackmail you into all of this if you hadn't killed that fucking girl? Remember who you called to come help you? Remember who was the reason you didn't get thrown in jail? You act like I was born all dark but you aren't sunshine and rainbows either. Why'd you kill her again Johnny?"

"Shut. Up."

"Oh yeah, because you got her pregnant and you were too much of a coward to tell our fucking parents because god forbid they see that you aren't their perfect little angel boy. You killed a pregnant girl John, I think it's time you face the fact that we are just a fucked up family, Dad, me, you, Mum was a poor victim in it all but her ability to brush everything under the rug to keep up appearances is what got her six feet under."

"I killed someone and now you make any new employee kill someone to prove themselves. You don't see how we're different?"

"You killed an innocent pregnant 18 year old and I kill bad people with bad intentions. You don't see how that's different?"

He goes silent as you both just stand there, there's blood splatters on the floor and countertops from the various wounds you had inflicted on him. The atmosphere was heavy and you realise you're glad you sent Ellie and Abby home before he came over because the thought of them hearing some of the things that have been said causes a shiver to run down your spine.

"You ruined me. I was going to be an engineer, I had potential and now I can never live a normal life again."

"You ruined yourself, I just capitalised on it. Don't see you crying about losing your normal life when you're lounging about in your massive fucking mansion. Or your collection of supercars, or what about that summer house in Aspen. Never had a problem with all the things I've given you because of the shit I do."

"I let myself be bought."

"You did. I hope you enjoyed it because you've stopped being of use to me now. Sorry your funeral isn't going to be as good as your last one, do you remember how many more flowers my grave got than yours? I knew it was a good idea to wait and watch the aftermath."

"I don't even care anymore. Just kill me." His acceptance of his fate pissed you off and you find yourself smashing his face down into the countertop with every bit of your strength, his nose makes a distinctive cracking sound and he cries out although it comes out strangled. As he falls down to the floor once again struggling to breathe, you pin him down to stop his wriggling, you looked at your gun in your hand and it didn't feel right so you swapped it for your knife and dragged it down his bloody face as you took in his features one last time.

This was it, the last thing grounding you to your humanity, the last weight you had to shed and the moment had come, the world could burn and you'd just lay in the fire, the darkness that had enveloped you in its embrace all your life was no longer externally guiding you, it infected every cell in your body, the darkness became you and directed the knife straight into John's heart, again and again. By the time you were done you were kneeling in a pool of his blood and there was a cavity in his chest, you look at his dull, lifeless eyes and you stand to look over him before crouching again diving your knife into his face until he is unrecognisable, you sit back and admire your work as you recount all the things he said to you.

As you walked away to go get cleaned up you pulled out your phone to message on the group chat you have with Ellie and Abby. Ellie had made it saying it would be easier but you still felt silly using a group chat.

'How's packing going?' You message once you've showered and redressed. Ellie begins typing almost immediately.

'yeah it's okay, I don't actually have that much stuff so it's a breeze' You notice yourself smiling at her message which only grows as Abby starts typing, you couldn't describe what it is you feel for them, because like Richter said, you don't feel anything.

'Yeah I'm realising half of my wardrobe is stuff you've bought me.' You chuckle a little and send the kiss mark emoji that you had taken to using as it reminds you of all the lipstick stains you've left in the shape of a pout on them. You put your phone away and prepare yourself to leave your penthouse for one of the last times. You walk past what is left of Richter and message Jeremy that he's ready for collection and call the elevator to your floor.

"I was wondering when you would show."

"Happy to hear you've been expecting me." You were stood in front of the boss of the Met, he was a heavy set man with dark hair that had streaks of grey running through it as its all gelled backwards to sit smoothly against his head and a large moustache with the same grey speckles on the dark background covering most of his top lip. He sat in a nice suit smoking a cigar, you roll your eyes at the cliché and he chuckles a little.

"Well I wasn't expecting you. You're telling me a little girl took down my empire?"

"Empire is generous don't you think? I thought we should have a chat."

"I'd love to." He gestures at the chair in front of his desk and you sit slowly while fixed on his dark eyes. as they examine your every move.

psa: I know she's a bad girl but my heart broke a little for reader while writing this. She's just different okay :') Goodness the end is getting closer, sorry there wasnt much of abby or ellie in this chapter but i really wanted to focus on reader and richter

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foolsocracy · 1 day

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Hi, hello, I’m new to your blog. I’ve made myself at home. Lovely carpet.

Can I please know more about your spider Robbie pie? Can’t seem to find the silverware.

but of course, kind anon

Spider Robbie is an au in which Robbie Robertson takes up the spider mantle after the death of the one before him. He is the third, following Ben Urich and, most notably, Peter Parker.

This au is very much canon divergence from Eyes Without a Face, where Peter makes it in time to save Robbie from his original fate but dies in the process. Peter is shot while rushing Robbie and the others out. In his panic and elation at finding Robbie physically unharmed, Peter outs himself as the Spider Man to his best friend. Robbie stays with him as he bleeds out and resolves to continue to hide Peter's identity.

Peter is buried and remains that way for... an undetermined amount of time.

Robbie is left with a mask, a jacket, and the question of just who was this other half of his friend. As he learns more of who this... Spider Man was, he gets more and more involved in the spider's cases and conflicts. Robbie gets more sure of his own abilities and makes a bit of a name for the Spider Man within his own community, though the people of Harlem are largely unaware that the appearances of a masked vigilante match the interests of one Robbie Robertson.

It is to be noted that none of these aforementioned abilities are spider-god-induced powers like Peter's. Robbie, especially at the beginning of his spidering career, leans more into Urich's role than Parker's. To me, Robbie has been passionate about the press and journalism in a way that Peter never was. For Pete, his job as a photographer and reporter was a job he took until he could get into college and study science. Robbie has a way with words and communication that Peter frankly lacks. Of course, that isn't to say that Robbie won't be kicking ass, because he will. It will just take him a bit of time to get some of those skills as he's, well, a normal guy. Not everyone can get their biology scrambled like Pete.

And just because Robbie hasn't been scrambled doesn't mean he's completely separate from all things supernatural either!

I think the marvel noir universe is at its best when there's a magical, supernatural undercurrent. This concept isn't super prevalent in the actual comics, but HoplesslyLost on ao3 has done some really cool world building with it.

I think in Robbie's case, where he would be the narrator, "magical realism" would be an interesting avenue to take it. I use this term in particular because I most closely relate it to Toni Morrison in my head, when I first learned about it through her work in high school. For Morrison, the concept was inseparable to blackness and I think for Robbie, where his blackness is so central to his character and his motivations, drawing on that could be more of a service to his character. It feels better to do that than ignore how incredibly racialized his society and story is. It will make his relationship with the spider god, Peter (who I will get to very very shortly), his community, and his own mythos as The Spider Man really interesting and complex.

So it's been established that Robbie doesn't have spider powers. And we all know that Peter did-- or should I say does. One of the spider god's abilities is to bring Peter back to life. She does this in the comics, but not in any of the runs from 2008-2010 (the runs that make up this au). When Peter dies on Ellis Island, he does not think he is coming back from that. Waking up again is a surprise.

Here's where I think the au really takes a left turn. Do I think the Spider God is purely evil and spiteful and has it out for Pete? No, not really. Will I be ramping said traits up to 11 for the au? Yeah, I guess I might. This is because I love a little bit of horror and the came back wrong trope. I will hopefully be fleshing the spider god out in the near future, but I really haven't given her the many hours of thought I have the other characters. For that I'm sorry spider god </3

Peter digs himself out of his grave, more spider than he ever has been. For much of his new, waking life he is more animalistic than not. There is clearly something wrong with him; his joints are too flexible and loose, he's got some eye-shine going on, his skin is pale and his veins are starkly dark beneath it. He's possessed. Someone is puppeteering him, someone who knows a lot-- almost everything about him, but it's clear that the someone isn't him.

And Peter--- the body, it can't be Peter. At least, that's what Robbie thinks when the figure catches his eye the first time. Because Peter is dead and buried, and he has been dead and buried for weeks.

#WOAH this is long #while still not saying much... mweh heh heh #other notes that i don't know how to add in w/out derailing the main vague explanation of the au:#the trio shifts from Peter & Robbie & MJ to Robbie & MJ & Gloria #robbie and his girl gang #and u all know me for my robbienoir shipping well.... Peter's romantic feelings for Robbie are a major point of some parts of this au #get possessed gay boy #Toni Morrison might be a bit out of left field here but I love her work so much and I actually listen to her interviews #to get a grasp on how I want robbie's language to flow. I am NOT eloquent but she has such a way w words when she just SPEAKS #her and the rapper Milo lol #i should give this a read through but im not. ill see all my mistakes tomorrow LOL #spider robbie au #spider noir #my art #peter benjamin parker #robbie robertson #ben urich #asks #anon #thanks for the ask!!!#hope you find your utensils alright

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tragedyslut · 10 days

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♡ born to die ♡

✶ [ a.anderson ] ✶

♡ ABBY!ANDERSON X PLATONIC!FEM!READER ♡

🩷 SUMMARY — abby after the whole boat thing w ellie , returns to the wlf, needing comfort and just being so vulnerable. whole buncha angst. intentional lowercase, no proofreading 🪽

when abby returned with lev to the island where the wlf were regrouping, people were rightfully hesitant to let her back. i mean, her going AWOL to find Owen and then turning on the WLF because of two kids she met the day before didn't make her the most trustworthy. a few of the soldiers, including you, agreed to let her and lev stay until they were properly taken care of. abby showing up like that broke your heart into a million pieces. her hair, cut like that, all of her muscles gone from malnourishment and her face. the pure look of desperation when she showed up in that boat.

you and abby had been 'friends' for years. even when she and owen got together you could still tell she had eyes for you. you two split apart when she left to go find him, and you hadn't really seen each other properly in ages. once she was conscious enough to explain what happened whilst you two had been seperated, and explained in detail what actually happened and why she killed joel. you had known for a while she killed some guy, well, you hadn't known until some girl came and started killing everyone associated with abby. that 'some girl' was apparently ellie. the whole thing being explained to you was a bit of a mush. it was so messy. it sunk in how lucky you were to have gotten seperated from abby before everything happened. otherwise ellie would've probably came after you, knowing you two were associated.

Abby explained how exactly ellie let her go, and that was that.

she was in the medbay for a long while. youd visit her every so often. as the months past and her hair grew longer again, she would insist on cutting it off again. you assumed it was due to the torture she experienced with the rattlers. but either way, her hair stuck that way. she wouldn't let it go past a short bob. it didn't look bad, but it was different.. she was different. but after all, everyone was different.

one night, you were on guard duty. you were walking down the medbay when you heard someone sobbing. fully like.. painful sobs. you ducked into the medbay, thinking someone was hurt. you saw abby curled up in the assigned bed she had, sobbing her eyes out. her iv was basically being ripped out of her arm from how much she was curled up. you dropped your rifle, and bag, going over to her.

" abby, abby- are you okay? are you hurt? " you said, getting her to sit up and adjusting her iv so it wasn't so messed up. she only sniffed in response, trying desperately to wipe her tears.

" abby, its fine, just let it out. everythings okay. "

as soon as you said that, abby lunged at you. you thought she was gonna kick you or something but she hugged you. extremely tight.

" im so fucking guilty. " she mumbled.

" guilty about what? go on, explain it. just talk it out. " you said, rubbing circles on her back.

" i spent so fucking long.. trying to kill joel.. and- i did. but it didn't made me feel better. he only killed my dad- to save ellie. my fucking dad would've done the same. and ellie- she fucking let me go.. she let me live. i bit one of her fucking fingers off and everything and she just.. let me go. i didn't deserve that. she should've put me down. " she whispered out. you could practically feel the seering guilt radiating of of her.

" you deserve to be able to move on. nobody was right in that situation. you aren't some monster for wanting justice for your dad. "

" 'm not? " she mumbled, chuckling.

" no. me, anyone, would've done the same. especially in this world. "

you sat and comforted her for hours. it was everything she needed.

" why did you stay..? after- after all that happened. after knowing how shitty of a person i am? "

" because. you're my friend. of course im gonna look after you. after we got seperated i hoped for ages that we'd find eachother, and we did. i don't care what happened. im gonna be there for you. you're safe with me, with the wlf. ill convince them to let you back. i promise. "

in the end, you kept your promise and the wlf let her stay. she was officially a wlf soldier again. in some ways, she was the same, in other ways, things were forever different.

#Spotify #ellie tlou #joel tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #ellie tlou smut #ellie williams smut #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby anderson #abby angst #sub abby #abby smut #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader

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fordtato · 11 months

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So, I’ve been watching some of your Gravity Falls videos—-and by the way, they’re absolutely fantastic, and I love that you included complex and under-discussed topics through the lenses of aspecs and of masculinity—though one of the things that’s been most surprising that you’ve mentioned in passing a few times is the idea that Stan and Ford were specifically Jewish immigrants.

I’m curious if you could tell me more about that, especially because that possibility doesn’t sit well with me as a Jew, as if it’s true it would make Stan’s entire character an antisemitic stereotype (the greedy, deceptive Jew is one of the oldest antisemitic stereotypes out there) and would make the entire show harder to enjoy or even watch.

Sure, no problem (and thank you for watching my videos)! So, the Pines family is canonically Jewish (the series creator, Alex Hirsch, is himself Jewish and based them off his own family and has confirmed this, and we see a mezuzah at Stan and Ford’s childhood home). As far as them being immigrants, I don’t say that Stan and Ford themselves are immigrants, but that they are the children of immigrants, as it is implied in the supplemental material that their father (or at least their father’s family) migrated to the US, with a mention of a name-change on Ellis Island.

As far as the antisemitic stereotypes, that is an area that I feel less comfortable weighing in on (as I myself am not Jewish). It is notable that the characters were written/created by a Jewish man, and I feel it would be inappropriate for me to weigh in too deeply on how a Jewish person writes Jewish characters (and Stan, notably, is also based off of one of Hirsch’s relatives.) In all discussions of good or bad representation (regardless of which marginalized group I’m considering), I think a solid rule of thumb when considering a stereotypical depiction, is that it is important to see if that is the only depiction of that group present, or if there is diversity within the diversity, so to speak. The entire Pines family, including Dipper, Mabel and Ford, are all Jewish, and they have a wide breadth of traits and loveable qualities and flaws. If all of these characters had harmful stereotypes associated with their traits, or if the only depiction of a character from a given group is a stereotype, that is what usually sets off red flags for me. This does NOT mean that stereotypical depictions are immune to criticism, because they absolutely are not, but I do think criticism can be murky on a case-to-case basis, especially when those traits are written by a writer of that background.

That being said, I have seen it said by other Jewish fandom members that Stan Pines can be seen as a deconstruction of the stereotypical tropes you mention and I’ve always found that very interesting. What at first appears to be greed/money-obsession can actually be seen as a manifestation of his means of survival (leftover from when he was homeless as a teen), the trauma of being told as a young person that he would not be accepted without money, and also that he was working to pay off his brother’s mortgage while working to save him from the portal.

I hope this was helpful and that my answer here made sense.

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popquizhot-shot · 1 year

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Haven't I? -2

Thank you so much for the love on part-1<33 i hope you enjoy part 2! please comment and reblog if you like it<3 part 3

a/n- panic attacks, some crying, joel feeling like a failure, canon divergence.

You love Maria, you really do. But at this moment in time all you want to do is throttle her.

The hinges are abnormally loud and the floor creaks as you walk in to leave the supplies for the women in the house.

There’s two main bedrooms, one is the children’s and the other the master. You peep into the girl’s and find it empty, so you leave the red shirt and diva cup on her bed before making your way to the master bedroom.

The moment you step inside there’s a flash of black moving towards you and you shift to your side out of pure instinct and throw the pile of clothes at her face.

She’s bent over and glaring at you. The woman.

“Who are you?” she all but growls.

You put your arms up in front of you as if you’re calming a rabid animal, “ Maria asked me to drop this off. I’m a neighbour.”

“Why didn’t you knock?” She picks the clothes up from the floor

“I wanted it to be over quick.”

She curls her lip at you and you want to do nothing more than to get it off her face but you can’t help but feel bad for her, so you stay quiet behind your mask.

“Well you’ve done your job. You can leave.”

You brush past her silently. It’s something you do that creeps even Tommy out. If you want to, you can make someone feel your silence.

“Wait!”Her shrill voice makes you stop in your tracks and look over your shoulder.

“Thank you.”

All you do is nod and walk away.

————-

“So it went well?” Maria asks as she places the hideous coat on the counter.

“She thought I was an intruder and tried to attack me.” You deadpan as you cut cucumbers..

You can hear her trying not to laugh, “ Go to hell.”

“Thank you for doing that.” she replies, suddenly serious.

You whirl, waving the knife. “Oh, now you’re suddenly nice? Who are you and what have you done with my Maria?”

“I’m your sister, even if Tommy isn’t your brother in law anymore.”

Your mouth falls slightly apart at her harsh truth, “That’s mean.”

She slowly walks up to you, “I know.”

“You’re mean.”

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes begin to water, how much more pathetic can you be? “Why?”

She’s face to face now, “Why what?”

A sob leaves your lips, “Why, Maria?”

She pulls you to her and hugs you as tight as she can, shushing your whimpers as you shake. It’s hitting you again, the knowledge that it’s truly over, “I’m so sorry.”

The sound of the door opening makes you pull away and turn around, bracing yourself on the kitchen counter.

“Hello?” a little girl’s voice calls out. It’s the girl who came with Joel and the woman, Tina.

From where you are in the kitchen, the both of you can see her walk into the main hall and she stops to look at the memorial of Sarah and Kevin and an immature bolt of anger flows through you. She’s standing there, the same age as Sarah, and it’s wrong of you to feel this way towards a child, but it hurts to see that she’s there and your daughter isn’t. And some horrible part of you is furious because you’re terrified that Joel has forgotten. Which is stupid, because of course he hasn’t.

She squeezes your shoulder and takes the hideous purple jacket she left on the kitchen island earlier. You can hear the both of them begin to talk and slip out. In your haste, your mask is left behind.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it so hard to breathe?

He’s braced himself against the lamp post , and it’s as if all the air in his lungs has been sucked out. All he can think of is Sarah. And of you. Of his wife who disappeared from his life, like a cruel magic trick, all that he’s loved seems to disappear. And now with Ellie, and Amy. All he’s going to do is fail them, just like he failed Sarah, like he failed you-

Who is that?

There’s a woman with hair just like yours, turned away from him in the crowd. The little voice in his head tells him that he’s being an idiot but his body seems to move of its own accord and with every step towards her he finds his heart beating faster.

He sees her freeze when he says her name and she slowly turns around.

It isn’t her.

This woman isn’t his wife. Her face looks like it's been mauled by an animal and her skin is puckered with pock marks. Her eyes stare into his and he’s stammering out an apology, “Shit, I’m sorry, ma’am. Thought you were someone else.”

She only looks at him and smiles a little, but it looks like she’s grimacing and her eyes are scrunched up. She nods, “No problem.”

He turns around and leaves to god knows where, he needs to get away after making a spectacular ass of himself. He finds himself in a workshop of sorts and decides to finally fix his damn boots. It’s about damn time.

Back at the bar, the woman with the scarred face informs his brother that he needs a new pair of boots.

—---------

“Boots?”

“Yes, Tommy. The one’s he’s wearing are busted. He’ll trip and fall and probably die if he keeps using them.” you say, exasperated.

“How’d you know that? You talked to him?”

You look away, wishing you hadn’t stupidly forgotten your mask, “He came up to me, said my name, and when I turned around, looked at me and apologised because he thought I was someone else.”

He raises his eyebrows and slides his glass over to you.

You take a sip and sigh, “I’m uh, I’m still your sister right? Even if I’m not um..your sister in law?”

He looks at you as if you have two heads, “Of course you are, the fuck’s wrong with you?”

You smile and look down at your shoes, “Okay.”

“So, boots?” he raises his eyebrows and gestures to the seat.

—---------------

The town’s a surprise, she admits. To see so many new people, people who don’t have to keep their walls up and can let people in.

She scoffs at the quaintness of the movie theatre, as if everything is ever going to be the same. It’s pointless to imagine the world will go back to the way it was. Ellie seems to be as uncomfortable as she is, and she can’t help but feel like an antsy guard dog when any kid comes close to the teenager.

The woman that came to the house isn’t here, or maybe she is, maybe now she’s not wearing that mask and is acting like another normal person with no problems.

As if any of these people know what loss is.

“Amy, you okay?” Maria asks her and she subtly clenches her jaw. Leave me alone.

“I’m fine.” keep it short, curt. You don’t owe her your niceness, you already owe her your life.

“You look uncomfortable.” the woman replies.

“Not used to so many people.” and she doesn’t like it.

“You’ll get used to it.”

Amy doesn’t reply, only grunts. Much like Joel, she reason. She owes him everything, whatever this thing is between them, the unspoken glances and the smiles that Ellie pretends she doesn’t see. She can’t deny that she’s falling in love with him.

There’s a chorus of laughter and she looks at the crowd of children.

Ellie’s gone. Shit. She’s not in here.

She leaves Maria and races out, the town’s new and the kid had a penchant for getting into shit situations.

She can see her, in the distance. Walking away with all the furiousness of a little raccoon.

“Ellie!” she calls out and jogs to her as the girl turns around, “You can’t just slip away like that, what’s wrong with you?”

She grabs her shoulder and pulls the girl to her, making her look up.

“He’s leaving us.” the girl murmurs.

“What?”

There’s unshed tears in her eyes as she looks to the side, “He’s leaving us. He wants Tommy and some other woman to take us.”

----------------

"She's someone very close to us." Tommy says.

"I don't trust no one but you Tommy. You and Amy are enough." Joel replies harshly.

"I go with her, or I don't go at all, Joel."

"What even is her name?" he scoffs.

He wants to say your name, he really does. It's on the tip of his tongue and he says the first syllable and Joel eyes widen.

"It's Mitch. Her name is Mitch."

Joel clenches his jaw, "Alright. But I swear, she does anything, I'm not the one to be afraid of. Amy's not going to like this anyway, she'll want to probably put a bullet in between both of your knees."

Tommy huffs out some semblance of a laugh, after this, you're gonna want to take a hammer to his knees. But he doesn't trust himself to act civil with any of them, if Maria wasn't pregnant, he'd ask her to come along. But by some dumb luck, she is, so he's going to have to go with you.

------------------------

The walk back to the house fills him with dread. It's the right thing to do, he knows that. But he's not looking forward to breaking the news to them.

The door squeaks open and he cringes and steps inside. It's dark.

There's no one in the hall, nor in the kitchen.

The stairs creep with every guilt-ridden step he takes, as if he's going to his own execution.

Ellie's room is empty, her bag is missing. He's breathing heavily. His wife would call it a panic attack, with her extensive knowledge of how people's brains worked.

In blind panic he stumbles to the main room, and it's dark and empty.

On the bed there's a note,

"Like you said, we're only cargo."

He falls to his knees, and brings his hand to his mouth to try and contain his breaths. Every memory he's been trying to repress since his wife went missing, since his baby girl's death comes back. He'd failed them, they're dead and gone because of him.

And now, he's failed the people he loves most, all over again.

All that leaves his mouth is a gut wrenching scream. All he's given in return is the echo of his own failure.

They're gone.

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x ofc #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #tommy miller

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