APTR: Ranting to the wind (spoilers)

So, I can’t be the only one bothered by this or if this is a bad take or whatever. I don’t like about a plague tale is the theme of loneliness. I understand that Amicia is going through the process of losing her whole family throughout the series of the game. But I felt the whole “fighting alone” motif is a bit ungrateful on Amicia’s part. Because other than maybe the first 5 chapters of Innocence and the section with Vaudin, she’s always had someone by her side helping her: Lucas, Mélie, Rodric, and Arthur. A handful of characters die helping her. And Lucas still stays to help her and her family after Innocence.

Then in Requiem, there was the issue with Vaudin and no one listening to her about Hugo’s condition, which can make her feel alone, and the fact that she has such a strained relationship with her mother that she probably still feels abandoned by her in a way. Even so Lucas apologized for this incident and continued to help her regarding Hugo.

Then when she parts ways with Lucas, Sophia steps in (and Arnaud as well even though at that point it was because of his deal with Hugo).

Once again towards the end, people die and risk their lives to help her. Then, you have the part where she finally thanks Lucas for helping her (which is great) but she basically forgets that in King Hugo chapter until he has to remind her that he is there for her, and Hugo has to remind her that people are there for her even if they aren’t blood related.

Yes, she does the most physical fighting but Idk kinda rubs me the wrong way.

Cowboy Carter Review

sorry if i write a lot. i like to yap lol

Ameriican Requiem- i'm a huge sucker for a sitar so i was gripped in from the beginning. i grew up on country music (mainly 90s/early 2000s) and so when she showed up at the CMAs and performed with the chicks it was a childhood dream. but as a person who liked country music around the time 9/11 happened, it's only become even more racist since. the way they treated her that night even though she was one of, if not THE, best performer of the night was so upsetting to watch. even as the best artist on the planet, at the top of her game, she's always going to work a million times harder than any of her peers. i'm so proud of her being able to make a song like to this to put her thoughts out on the whole night that night.

Blackbiird- obviously everyone has heard this song before. i was unaware of the actual backstory to the song since i don't follow the beatles too much (i like george harrison but that's about it lol). i was not aware that the song the song was written for black women during the civil rights movement. i assumed the song was mainly written by john lennon who to my knowledge was kind of a grifter when it came to his activism. having this song come right after ameriican requiem is so poetic.

16 Carriages- shockingly i was able to avoid hearing this song in full until tonight. i tend to only do one single per release and so texas hold em was the one. this song is so heartbreaking because i think about all the kids in the entertainment industry who can probably relate to this song all too well

Protector- these songs she makes for her kids... i'm gonna need her to stop. not because they're bad but i straight up can't listen to blue and probably this song because i want a mom like this 😭

My Rose- i hate that this is an interlude. it's so beautiful and not to be dramatic should've been 10 hours long

Smoke Hour • Willie Nelson- idk what to say about this one lol

Texas Hold 'Em- i love this song. the only problem i have with it is it sounds too clean. like the production sounds too clean. maybe it sounds better on the radio where the quality is lower than streaming but its definitely a song that needs to be played not so isolated.

Bodyguard- there's something in this song. she channeled carole king for this on or something. it's so good instantly a top 20 if not top 10 song of hers through her whole discography.

Dolly P- once again idk what to say about this one its too short to say anything

Jolene- i mean i think the same way about her version as i do about dolly's version. why are we getting mad at these women when we should be getting mad at the men?? take away that beyonce is beyonce for a second. if she was a normal lady and this girl was unaware her man was taken, isn't that more on him than anyone? he's letting it happen.

Daughter- her voice in this song is insanity. the control she has is unmatched truly.

Spaghettii- the beat omgggg. i know this would hit so hard in a mashup with "my house" i'm obsessed.

Alliigator Tears- just from hearing snippets of the country music that's on the radio nowadays, i think this might be one of the few songs from this album that they will eat up. i'm not saying that as a diss at all. i love this song alot especially after a second listen.

Smoke Hour II- i guess i can add on here a random tid bit. i made a country playlist in preperation for the album to come out. i made it on valentine's day. tell me why i named it KNTRY. i didn't even know the "radio station" she has on the album was called that lol.

Just for Fun- i don't listen to lana del rey anymore. i had a small time during last year where i did but then she got real messy again and signed that letter thanking joe biden. that being said this song sounds identical to "norman fucking rockwell". which is a compliment because both are good songs. keep jack antonoff away from beyonce though. that's the good thing about beyonce is she doesn't sound like everyone else which he makes everyone do (yes i am a fan of him but i'm critical of his production lol)

II Most Wanted- i'm sorry i've never been a fan of miley cyrus (except for the song she did for black mirror and that one EP she put out). i want to like this song because i like aspects of the song but it being a miley cyrus song with a beyonce feature is not want i want.

Levii's Jeans- this is also a collab i'm not a fan of. i actually enjoy post malone but i would've liked to see them in a more upbeat song.

Flamenco- idk how to take this song. it's stunning as usual. my thoughts on the lyrics though is she's kinda talking to fans maybe like the OG like destiny's child fans who have started to leave because she's starting to experiment more with her sound and they miss her old sound. i would love to know her take on this song in particular. because i know so many artists who decide to change their sound throughout each release are terrified of losing fans because they're so stuck on a certain sound.

The Linda Martell Show- another one i can't say much on since it's an interlude

Ya Ya- now.... remember what i said about bodyguard??? easily top 10. idk where on my ranking but it's there. the interpolation of "these boots were made for walking" and "good vibrations". there's something about that old soul rock sound that gets me every single time. i know that it doesn't sound anything alike but "freedom" has that same vibe, where it takes alot from old 60s blues soul rock. this is gonna hit so good on tour!

Oh Louisiana- i will say i really like this interlude. second favorite out of the ones with actual music

Desert Eagle- another song she chose to make extremely short when it should've been hours long... come on B

Riiverdance- its a fun and cute song. i think the beat is good but i think i like it more on my first listen.

II Hands II Heaven- i'm hoping this will finally click for me. im seeing everyone really love this song but idk whats not clicking for me. i'll definitely keep listening to it though maybe someday.

Tyrant- someone said this is the thique of cowboy carter and yeah i can definitely hear it. it's a sexy song and it's a fun song. definitely like it alot more after a second listen

Sweet • Honey • Buckiin'- her sampling "i fall to pieces" in this song is so special to me. i do want someone to take this "honey" and add it to the end of pure/honey though i wonder if it would sound any good. i think sweet and buckiin are the best songs out of the three of these.

Amen- i love how this really rounds out the album, calling back to the first song. it feels and is a very emotional song. don't know if i'll go back to it only because i think it could make me cry lol

overall, i think it's a solid album. if we're comparing the acts, which idk how you can because they're two distinctly different sounds, i would probably still go with renaissance but there's still so many solid songs on this album that are now some of my top faves. usually i rate out of 10 but it feels too low tbh, so i'm rating it out of 100. it will definitely grow on me just like renaissance did. 89/100.

Hi! for the X-Files themed asks, could you answer 16 and 17? I really want to know your take on these.

16. Favorite character developments for Scully?

6x8 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas: This episode was a masterpiece in so many ways, but when Scully goes to Mulder's apartment afterwards and says "maybe I really did want to be out there with you", she's choosing to break the cycle of denying their feelings and not confronting them and actually choosing to be with him instead of letting him drag her on some wild adventure just to be with him, and it really shows that she's ready to at least open the door to something more if not to walk through it just yet💖

Season 8: I really loved how during this entire season when Mulder is gone Scully is almost immediately thrust into his role as believer, and even though she's still kind of uncomfortable with it because she's not used to it (see her expression when Doggett refers to her as an "expert in paranormal phenomena" or something like that lmao), she really rises to the occasion and carries the torch in Mulder's absence. Like in Badlaa she just takes it on faith that Mulder would have seen through the illusion and understood what was really going on even though it doesn't come as naturally to her, and she said she just wasn't capable of having an open mind but that's just her insecurity and lack of confidence talking, she's a lot more open minded than she thinks especially after seven years with Mulder. It just shows so perfectly how she's transformed from a rigid skeptic to becoming more open to extreme possibilities, which we started to see in All Things but which is even more obvious in season 8 after Mulder is abducted and she finds herself with nothing left except the strength of his beliefs (and his baby)🥺

17. Favorite character developments for Mulder?

5x12 Bad Blood: Probably my favorite episode in general, but it also has an underrated and overlooked (at least it seems to me) Mulder moment, when after being jealous of Scully's interest in the sheriff for the whole episode (even giving him buck teeth in his version of the story) he voluntarily gives her the opportunity to be alone with him in the cemetery while he goes to check out the trailer park. The overall humor of the episode makes it easy to miss, but I think this is one of the earliest moments where he consciously puts her happiness first at the expense of his own❤️

Fight the Future: I know everyone (including me) hates that bee more than anything in the world, but Mulder's speech immediately preceding the bee incident was I think the first time he actually put into words how much Scully means to him, and expressed it to her outright and without any hint of ambiguity. He's actually facing his feelings directly instead of hiding them behind jokes and sarcasm, and I don't think it's a coincidence that the very next season is filled with many of the most shippy MSR episodes of the whole show❤️

7x22 Requiem: This is probably the clearest example of how much Mulder has grown over the course of the show. In the pilot he's like "the only thing I care about is the truth and there's nothing more important" and when he's spooning Scully in bed he tells her "there's so much more than this", and he wants her to go home because she's safer there then following him into the dark. Even though he needs her by his side it's more important to him that she's safe than she helps him find the truth, because without her the truth doesn't matter as much anymore❤️

One Night Only (Day 177)

"One Night Only! The Angel of Hanadaria at the Carbonaro Theater!" The words revolved around a 40-foot kiosk at the mall. Every 90 seconds the entire kiosk would turn purple, pulse, and become a 40-foot hologram of Requiem.

"See? Size 13. I'm sure of it." The captain said this to Esmae. They'd been arguing about Requiem's shoe size.

"I doubt," said Esmae, "that you can judge shoe size from a hologram."

"Do you think she's seen this?" I said. "It's a little frightening."

"We can ask her in a few minutes. There's the juice bar."

"It's more than a juice bar, Captain. It's 'The Galaxies Best Smoothies.' TGBS. See the sign?"

As Requiem sipped her carrot-ginger smoothie, I did my best, one bard to another, to give her inspiration for her performance. "There's a lot riding on tonight," I said. "A lot, but don't let that get in your head. Even if it's not your best performance, even if--"

"Quinn, that's enough inspiration, I think." The captain patted my hand. "You got a great voice, Requiem. Your songs are terrific. It's gonna be a great night. Have you seen the 40-foot hologram?"

Requiem buried her head in her hands. "Seriously?"

"Oh yeah." Cosmic Peanut grinned.

During this exchange, Esmae kept glancing at Requiem's feet, and finally Requiem set down her drink with a thud. "Why are you obsessed with my feet?"

"I was just wondering what size shoe you wear."

"She wears a 13. I told you." This from the captain.

"Absolutely not! I wear a 16 narrow."

"Great." Esmae slipped from her chair. "See you back at the room."

Requiem laid a hand on her arm. "Do not, I mean it, do not buy me shoes. I have more than enough already. But thank you for the thought."

"We got the VR rigs," I said to change the subject.

"That is great news," said Requiem.

"The sales guy, he's going to install them tomorrow. I'll meet him there." I glanced at the captain to make sure I had her approval.

She wasn't looking at me. She was looking at the group of 4 Domari girls who had their faces pressed against the glass of the smoothie place.

Esmae said, "Um, Requiem, I think some of your fans are here."

Our friend gave a quick smile and wave, and the girls jumped with excitement. More people gathered, drawn by the girls excited chatter.

"Let's go out the back," said the captain.

Later at the theater, which was filled with 1,200 excited people, Requiem took one more look in the mirror. On stage we could hear Garty O'Brien doing his introduction. "Our final act is someone very special to me. We all know the tragedy of Hanadaria; we all feel the tragedy of Hanadaria. My parents owe their existence to our Hanadarian friends, so I want everyone to give an extraordinary welcome to our friend, our angel, Requiem!"

With that Requiem took the stage, settled on the stool, and picked up her guitar. The crowd went silent with anticipation.

"I want to sing a classic Hanadarian ballad for you," she said and began to play. The first few notes seemed hesitant to me, as if Requiem's mind were somewhere else, but then she settled into the moment and let the joy and sorrow pour out.

The crowd responded. Thankfully they did not tear the theater apart, like at Sundry Station, but her music touched each soul; that was obvious.

Once the applause had died down, for her second song, Requiem played one of her new songs. Many people hopped and danced along with the beat, but it was obvious that at least some of the people were underwhelmed.

As the last notes died away, Requiem set down her guitar and stood up. "Thank you all for coming tonight. There are hundreds of amazing things you could be doing in this heaven called Dauntari, and you came here."

With that she began to sing a haunting song about wanting to go home. As she began the second chorus, she brushed her shoulder just as Melvin Slime had told her to.

The small decorative wings at her shoulders began to grow, and Requiem began to rise into the air. If she was surprised, it didn't show - she kept singing, singing, singing. The higher the note, the higher she climbed. At the height of the song, her dress, which had been a sparkly midnight blue, suddenly flashed bright, and the silver sequins exploded from the dress and swirled into the audience, becoming constellations. The audience became a galaxy of stars, and Requiem became the moon, sinking slowly to the stage as the stage lights faded to black.

For a moment no one moved; no one breathed. And then a wall of cheers, clapping, and chanting hit Requiem, and she bowed deeply.

Garty was suddenly beside her, on one knee. He kissed her hand, stood, and raised that arm to the sky. The applause somehow doubled in intensity. Requiem smiled, bowed to Garty, and then to the audience, and walked off stage.

Carrot Ginger Smoothie

Ingredients

1 cup carrot juice 1 ripe banana 1 cup frozen pineapple 1/2 Tbsp fresh ginger 1/4 tsp ground turmeric 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk

First Line

Saw some folks doing this and thought why not give it a try.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

I’m going with actual “stories” or at least longer scenes, not just short blurbs or WIP scenes I’ve also posted lately for challenges/prompts. Also this goes back past FFXIV Write 2020, so going with the more polished works I posted on the free days and skipping those many prompts (much as I like most of them). Also using the Ao3 links for most of these (which means less visibility in search and tags), though a couple are on Tumblr only. The links go to individual works, though many are found in the “Unexpected” compilation thread I have for Aeryn & Thancred shippy nonsense, where they’re more or less arranged in chronological order. Still, direct linking to the specific chapters seemed the best plan.

I think I like best the ones that immediately give environment details, like “The Old Bargain” and “Sandstorm”, though there’s also something about “The First Day”’s first line that works for me.

1) Celebration: “There’s the hero of the hour,” Thancred said as he ambled over. The child Aeryn had been speaking with waved and dashed off, eager to share with his friends whatever secrets the Warrior of Darkness had divulged. Thancred watched him go, smiling, before turning back to Aeryn.

Shadowbringers 5.0 finale and how two warriors of darkness spend it.

2) Aetherytes: Thancred glowered up at the aetheryte. The morning light was obscured by a light snowfall, the blue glow of the device tinting the plaza. The knight handling the fees had a vague eye on him, but Aeryn was keeping the man mostly distracted with pleasant conversation and a thermos of Fortemps cocoa.

Thancred tries to hide his new condition from Aeryn immediately after Heavensward’s 3.1 patch.

3) Food: “Please tell me,” Y’shtola’s voice from behind Aeryn was positively acidic. “That you have eaten more than a muffin and a few pieces of fruit since our lunch.”

Aeryn is in a research frenzy and Y’shtola is annoyed she has to deal with it.

4) Dawn: Thancred hadn’t slept much.

Morning after the ARR 2.0 finale, kind of a sequel to FFXIV Write’s “Clamor”.

5) Flower: “What?” Aeryn demanded, snapping Emet-Selch’s attention down to her eyes; they were the hard grey of steel arrowheads as she glowered.

Emet-Selch has an unexpected memory thanks to Aeryn’s favored hair piece. Shadowbringers.

6) Indecent Whispers: The ceremony was lengthy, the lists and speeches interminable, and Aeryn struggled to not doze off. She shifted in her seat as the sermon continued.

NSFW for dirty language as Thancred quietly scandalizes Aeryn during an Ishgardian ceremony.

7) 15th Day of the 1st Astral Sun: Aeryn stepped through the mirror and into the familiar space of the Ocular, taking a moment to reorient herself after the rush of journeying between worlds. Once the vertigo had passed she left the Tower, the Crystarium guards greeting her as she crossed the Exedra. It took some questioning before she was finally pointed to where Ryne was currently; training with Captain Lyna just outside the city gates.

Aeryn gets a sentimental nameday present from her conveniently absent partner, post Reflections in Crystal.

8) Thancred’s PoV on 15th Day of the 1st Astral Sun: He always marked the day, even knowing that time was moving differently for her back in the Source.

I apparently had to write out Thancred’s perspective first to get the correct feel in the letters Aeryn read.

9) Girl Talk: Lyse and Aeryn fell on their backs onto the palm of Rhalgr, laughing as their early morning sparring session ended in a draw.

During Stormblood’s “Lady in Red” quest, two besties have a chat after their spar.

10) Only a Little Death for Now: He walked through the empty palace, heedless of the dark or cold due to the heated singing of his blood.

NSFW. Zenos having violent thoughts and finding a physical release for them. Shadowbringers patches.

11) Of Porxies and Pardons: “Oh my goodness!” Ryne squealed. “It’s adorable!”

After an off-screen fight post-Eden 8, Ryne and Gaia bully Thancred into talking things out with Aeryn.

12) Restless: Kugane’s lights were strange as they filtered in through the screened window. The little room was comfortable, and gods knew Aeryn was glad to be off the rocking seas and creaking ship, back on dry land.

NSFW. Aeryn’s got a lot on her mind and an annoying physical need to deal with as the Scions arrive in Kugane in early Stormblood.

13) Teach a Warrior of Light to Fish: A lazy day at the lake was exactly what they had needed, Renda thought, stretching on her towel. She rolled onto her stomach as she opened her eyes. Branden had cajoled Nyelbert and Cylva into some sort of ball game in the shallower water, Lamitt apparently refereeing from atop a rocky outcropping, the four of them laughing and shrieking as they splashed around.

Renda-Rae, Ardbert, and his fishing hobby.

14) The Old Bargain (original fic): The wind moaned across the swampy meadows, long grasses and rushes hushing the rattling cart that slowly moved down the muddy road, pulled by a stooped figure in a wide grey hat and long grey coat. The clouds hung low and dark overhead.

A lone figure acts as the go between for the mundane and fae worlds.

15) Realizations: Rhalgr’s Reach slowly recovered from the assault as the days passed. The bodies had been buried and all rites given, the living granted their too-brief time to mourn. Now came clearing the rubble, repairing what could be repaired, and somehow finding replacements for what could not.

Thancred talks to Y’shtola about his feelings for Aeryn in the wake of the assault on Rhalgr’s Reach in early Stormblood.

16) Sandstorm: The wind was kicking up, sand and grit blowing as they rode across the dusty old roads toward Drybone. Thancred looked up at the sky and frowned as the rented chocobos kwehed and shook worriedly. Aeryn looked to him, a questioning expression on her face.

Aeryn and Thancred on the way their investigations into Ifrit in early ARR.

17) The Parley: “We have time before these negotiations resume,” Merlwyb said. “I suggest we stretch our legs and clear our heads before meeting with the Emperor again, now we have a firmer strategy.” The others readily agreed.

Aeryn and Varis talk during the recess during the parley in “A Requiem for Heroes” end of Stormblood.

18) When Everything Changes: Zaine poked at a snail’s shell frozen to the top of the low stone wall. He guessed it had been stuck there before the winter had taken hold, trying to escape the cool rains of autumn. He wondered if the snail had found a new home, abandoning this one. He liked to think so.

Backstory from the pov of Aeryn’s brother, at five years old.

19) The First Day: Ryne had told herself she would not spend the first day sobbing, yet that was exactly what she did.

Ryne the day after the end of “Reflections in Crystal” in Shadowbringers.

20) Unsupervised, Again: “Ah, you’re back,” Thancred said as Aeryn came in the door, carrying a suspicious number of bags, considering the errand she had been on.

Aeryn got distracted while on an errand.

#16: アンジェリーク 魔恋の六騎士 / Angelique: Maren no Rokukishi

Angelique: Maren no Rokukishi was a visual novel released by Koei in collaboration with Otomate, a developer of many otome games within Japan. It follows the story of Teresa, a young girl whose parents went missing when she was very young. She lives in the city of Siva with her adoptive family - an unnamed grandmother and her annoying brother, Renaud. After hearing strange rumors about a series of kidnappings within the city, she falls victim to a masked assailant later that night, only to wake up in her room a day later with no recollection of what had happened to her. Read on for drama!

Her brother disappears too, and Teresa beings to desperately search for the boy. She soon finds him within the company of a band of traveling mercenaries. She pleads for him to return, but Renaud refuses, pledging his loyalty to the captain of the mysterious group, Leviath. Faced with a lack of options and her brother's stubborn reluctance to return home, she begs the one-eyed weirdo to serve as his assistant, as Renaud is prone to exhaustion and illness. He agrees, and soon Teresa finds herself on an interstellar adventure, supporting the knights as they serve various clients.

Maren no Rokukishi focuses on the nature of war. When is violence justified? Is it worth it? Do the ends always justify the means? The game explores all of these at some point, and overall, its surprisingly cynical and dark, in a sharp contrast to the colorful art direction. Family ties are broken, betrayals abound, and the action sequences are surprisingly well-written. There are sections in Maren that I found myself completely absorbed in the writing - despite being the type to skim fight-scenes, especially those written in a language that I am not a native speaker of.

Unfortunately, most of the above happens in the final hours of the main route - the rest is simply not that interesting, primarily due to the focus on Renaud. So much of Maren revolves around him, and quite frankly, he is easily the worst member of the cast. Renaud is whiny, naïve, occasionally bratty, and has an incredibly irritating voice. He collapses at the slightest bit of effort, and yet everybody in the cast dotes on him and sees zero no issue with letting him lead his own army. Make no mistake, this is not Teresa's story. It is his.

When you're not experiencing Renaud's latest temper tantrum, depressive episode, or fainting spell, you'll be treated to amusing slice-of-life vignettes of Teresa adjusting to a mercenary lifestyle. You'll be harassed by a drunk, attacked by bandits, threatened with your life at the slightest suspicion, and so forth. Like I said earlier, Maren really only picks up in the final hours, where the shit hits the proverbial fan and characters start dropping like flies. The ending is honestly shocking in how far it plunges into campy tragedy - think Game of Thrones, but actually entertaining. I said what I said.

Thankfully, the other routes solve the Renaud issue entirely. But there is a caveat: in order to unlock these routes, you have to complete the main story first. I am of two minds about this feature. On one hand, I think its interesting that the designers have you experience their fantasy epic before allowing the player to romance their favorite knight, but on the other, I don't think that Maren's "canon" story is strong enough to justify it - there's just too much focus on one character, and he's not even remotely likeable. I did some research before writing this game, and found someone who agreed with me, saying, roughly translated from memory, "...but there was too much Renaud, so I'm taking off a star."

The individual routes are much stronger. My favorite of those that I've played was Giovanni - he's basically the ultimate twink: a hard-drinking, gambling, blackmailing scammer who loves trouble. His route is very light-hearted, which was a welcome relief from the drama present throughout the rest of the game, and his playful nature reminds me a bit of a particular ex of mine, so I'm naturally a bit biased. The main conflict in his route occurs during their second date: he carefully arranges a luxurious all-day experience with Teresa. They go to the opera! He gives her a new dress! A fancy restaurant! Flowers! It's amazing!

It is then revealed that he was able to go to such excesses because he scammed rich people out of their money. Teresa, for whatever reason, is appalled at this, and basically tears him apart, making a huge scene in public, even - and I was completely dumbfounded. This might be a bit too political for a gaming blog, but I personally would have no issue with someone I am interested in romantically treating me to a five-star experience through some rich asshole's money. They'll be fine, they're rich - who cares? It would be one thing if he was beating up orphans in the street, but Giovanni only targets those who can afford a little blackmail. He is the ideal husband. Teresa should deal with it.

Kiefer's route was incredibly moving, albeit in a more personal way - this blonde mad lad is absolutely insane, and for a good part of the story, Teresa is left unsure as to whether or not he wants to love her or kill her. With most characters of this type, they quickly warm up to you, but Kiefer is different: if Teresa expresses even something even slightly disagreeable in his mind, he would not hesitate to slaughter her on the spot. He is also the character I'm most attracted to, and that says a lot about me and I don't want to talk about it.

As I said earlier, Maren has a streak of denying the supposed inherent value of family, and there is no greater example of this than in his route: Kiefer kills his brother, an adorable himbo struggling to adjust to high society, in cold-blood, and then attempts to do the same with his father, who, as we find out, tended to dote on his twin-brother. As someone who has been disowned by my own family, Kiefer's rage resonated with me. We, as children, take in our parent's biases, for better or worse, and when we cannot live up to them, it creates a disconnect. I have not spoken to my family in nearly five years. I could understand and identify with Kiefer's rage. I wouldn't go as far as to kill my own family, but who knows what would have happened should I not have left my home town?

I did not know this when I first began playing Maren, but the game is an adaption of a light novel released after Angelique: Tenkuu no Requiem, which is itself an RPG spin-off of Angelique Special 2. This makes Maren a spin-off of a spin-off, but despite that, I still had plenty of fun with the game - I just wish the main route was realized a bit better. I usually like to replay certain routes to better formulate my opinions, but Maren focuses entirely too much on a character I could not stand. I'd definitely recommend this to fans of Angelique, particularly the sequels mentioned above, as I'm sure the game contains all sorts of references to the source materials, but on its own, it's a bit lacking overall. That being said, as much as Maren lacks, there are certain scenes that were so well-done that I found myself genuinely moved. It's an uneven experience, but one worth looking into!

gr_OOves ‘n j A_ms       S // O // T // Y 2o2o

nO. 16/50

“Club Cougar” by Nadine Shah

MG:

It’s only natural that when faced with impositions and restrictions, we all responded with a wanton need to indulge, wherever and whenever possible. During happy hours I watched DV drink elaborate and beautiful cocktails he’d made for the lack of occasion. Our previous happy hours involved cheap draft beer that a bartender would inform us cost less at 20 oz than it did at the 12 oz we were trying to order. What wouldn’t I do to drink an oversize pint of floral IPA now? I would do anything. Listening to music isn’t an indulgent act (unless it’s The Prodigy on a Sunday afternoon) but “Club Cougar” is an absolutely indulgent piece of music, if you’re listening for a little inspiration. Nadine Shah packs in horn charts, a cashmere luxurious vocal, and barking background singers into a kitchen sink song about what we’re entitled to when we age. Despite all the spinning plates around her, when Shah emerges from the chaos to make her declarations the song sits quietly in her lap. She has no time for the young things nipping at her expensive heels and her voice is confident and self-possessed. Her power, both in willing such a massive production and over her would-be suitor, is the ultimate indulgence and it was a minor joy to live vicariously inside “Club Cougar.”

DV:

I admit the drinks I’ve made for our virtual happy hours have been extremely fancy (shoutout Violet Hour’s Eeyore’s Requiem, both a great drink and a great template to play around with), and yes I’ve spent the year coming to terms with my tendency to appreciate life’s nicer things, eternally at war with my tendency to suspect those nicer things of being lies or tricks or cheats. They often are, of course. But I that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy them in the brief moments that we can: all pleasure is transient, but only some of it’s victimless. “Club Cougar” finds Nadina Shah both luxuriating and loathing the way she tells off a youth who steps over the line. It’s a song that takes place in his head as much as Shah’s reality: “All dressed up, think I did it for ya/ Make eye contact, think I adore ya.” It’s gross that she has to, but she does this with the sort of aplomb that begs for a heirloom stole and sunglasses that cost a month’s rent. This is a song that struts, that withers at a glance, that takes rage and frustration at an unjust world and channels it into razorblades that cut before you notice they’ve moved. It’s beautiful and terrifying, and it’s exactly what the world deserves.

MY FIRST STORY MMA Tour Final The Premium Symphony 2017 in retrospect

On 23rd December 2017, MY FIRST STORY made another milestone by performing at the same venue which was supposed to have been the place where their rival brother band ONE OK ROCK was originally scheduled to perform with Linkin Park in November. Looking at the visuals presented to us so far, it was a roaring success.

Photos by Masanori Fujikawa and Taka Tallman except *

Here are my thoughts .... for my reader who requested. Basically a continuation of what I had said in a previous post before.

1. The stage looks like something inspired by Jules Verne novels combined with the Parthenon. 

That’s impressive!!

Then, similar to OOR, they also used a runway heading out to the audience. OOR normally use this for their acoustic set where the band members would gather together with their instruments. MFS used the end platform for Hiro where the digital piano was mechanically raised from below the stage. For a rectangular concert hall, you have to have this kind of setting for the audience's optimal viewing.

Look at the laser lighting! It was among the elements that worried the s**t out of their boss GEN back in the Shinkiba Studio Coast show because it was expensive. But looks like he’s not worried anymore based on this elaborate display.

Ready to go “Around The World In 80 Days” or “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea”! XD

2. The attendance at Makuhari was higher than the Budokan.

From the TV clips shared by Japanese fans, 18,000 people came compared to 12,000 for the Budokan. Reading through fans' reports, it looked like Blocks A & B were the most packed or the crowds consisted of the hardcore fans. One girl in Block B said she wished she could transfer to Block C where she could breathe.

Looking at the crowd placement, I started to feel doubtful whether choosing a seated ticket for this venue is worth it for someone like me (154cm tall) because unlike the multi-tiered Budokan or the Makuhari Event Hall, the Makuhari Hall 9-11 are flat. They're exhibition Halls after all. How high were the seats raised from the main floor if they were raised at all?

* Photo: Makuhari Messe Hall 9-11 when empty. Making me wish that it had a premium ceiling seat XD

3. It was MFS first attempt at using a full orchestra + a full choir

When they first announced the MMA Tour Final, they said this would be MFS as we had never seen them before. The ALL SECRET TRACKS album obviously had been arranged for this. The Live was not named The Premium Symphony for nothing. To me MFS music from the start has always been heavily layered. It was inevitable that they would arrive at this point.

Photo: The moment the curtain came down. Aaaahhhh!!! That’s 終焉レクイエム (Shuuen Requiem) making its debut everyone \(^^)/

  When MFS did the acoustic set for Itsuwari NEUROSE Final at Shinkiba Studio Coast, my mind actually wondered whether they would one day tackle the violin-cello string arrangements. Would have been slammed with the "OOR copy" moniker big time if they did it back then, wouldn't they? The difference is MFS actually created songs with orchestration right on their album rather than pick a few songs and re-arranged them with a string section for the Live show.

You know what’s beautiful about the above photo? The backup musicians were smiling as they looked at the band members giving it all. Despite the different genres they come from, all artists know passion when they see it.

4. The Surprising setlist :-o

More like shocking to me!

The most striking thing about the setlist is the fact that they had excluded their signature Live songs Second Limit, The Story Is My Life, 最終回STORY and Awake :-o. Seriously?? WTF! You know what this means??! This means they were signalling the beginning of a new era. Up to this point, an MFS show would not be complete without those songs. This is them presenting the fans the new-phase MFS!

The Setlist

1. 終焉レクイエム (Shuuen Requiem) 2. ALONE 3. Black Rail 4. 悪戯フィクション (Itazura Fiction) 5. Missing You 6. REVIVER 7. この世界で一番の幸せ者にはする事など出来ないかもしれないけど... (Kono sekai de ichiban no shiawasesha ni wa suru koto nado dekinai kamoshirenai kedo...) 8. 失踪FLAME (Shissou FLAME) 9. See you again 10. Love Letter 11. monologue 12. 虚言NEUROSE (Itsuwari NEUROSE) 13. LET IT DIE 14. "BOOM" 15. Zero Gravity 16. The Puzzle 17. CHiLD -error- 18. Tomorrowland 19. モノクロエフェク���ー (Monochrome Effector) 20. 不可逆リプレイス (Fukagyaku Replace)

(Encore)

-Nori Ohtani marriage proposal- EN1. 「花」 -0714- (Hanarenai yo) EN2. Merry Christmas EN3. REVIVER

While I understand their wish to move forward with their music, it's sad for me to see 最終回STORY go because that's the song through which I fell in love with MFS (T_T). 

5. Hiro debuted his piano solo performance

My wish came true \(^^)/! Back in 2014 when MFS released their Taylor Swift remake We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, I told another fan on my friend's MFS FB fanpage that I hoped to see Hiro perform with a piano. 

I guess it wasn't the right timing for it then because it was the time when Hiro was still so heavily criticized and ridiculed as being Taka's copycat. Hiro with a piano onstage would be a bad move a few years ago. Nowadays, the comparison with his famous brother is much kinder as MFS music is speaking for itself more and more. So I think Hiro picked the right time to finally do it.

By the way, Hiro played See You Again solo. For Love Letter, he played solo halfway and then joined by the others. Can’t wait to see these (^^)

6. Hiro’s vocal performance

You see this one coming. My MFS concert commentary wouldn’t be complete without me talking about Hiro’s vocals, would it? True that I wasn’t there at the Hall BUT I have come to the point were I can slowly trust him to nail it around 90 to 95%. While I wasn’t expecting perfection, I know Hiro had worked really hard as he was confident enough to again include the song I directly and openly criticised him for through the band’s social media back in 2016, 失踪FLAME . Though they did not respond to me directly but Hiro did acknowledge on STORYTELLER that the song was hard.

When I saw this visual for 失踪FLAME , I felt good because I knew he still kept his determination to get that song right. I believe he handled it well. He wouldn’t have made this visual display if he couldn’t do the song right, could he (^_-)?

7. Former drummer Masaki came (^^)

Their friendship remains solid and Masaki once again showed that he wouldn't miss his former bandmates' big moment for the world. He tweeted saying it had been awhile since he went to see them, how awesome the show was, apologizing that he was giving an impression of an elementary schoolkid’s excitement and then attached his old photo wearing his underwear with producer Nori with a congratulatory message. Because that’s the only two-shot photo he ever had with Nori XD

8. "Men In Black" (^^)

Who wasn't taken by the fact that the band performed fully in suits? 

I think rather than setting themselves apart from the backup orchestra + choir members, the look they chose tied the whole thing together. The formally attired orchestra + the choir that coloured the overall feel of ALL SECRET TRACKS and their visually impactful LET IT DIE MV from ALL LEAD TRACKS. It was "MFS The Premium Symphony" and not "MFS with some guest musicians for some songs".

Oh, yes. To me Teruki Nishizawa is the most dashing of them all in black suits. They’re all cute guys but Teru actually has that “prep school + white collar” aura which transcends well with that outfit. I don’t think I’m biased at all. Just look.

9. Hiro & Blouson Chiemi

I'm a bit blurry with this one, did he do something like her comedy skit onstage or what? I saw a few Japanese fans mentioning her name along with Hiro’s. Knowing that Hiro likes her, I was hardly surprised. But MFS always edited out extra things like this when the concerts went to DVDs. So, if he ever impersonated any celebrity at all, it probably wouldn't go on the official release (-_-)

But at least we had seen Hiro posing like her during VAMPS Halloween Party 2017 XD

*Photo: From BREAKERZ Daigo’s blog

10. Sho Tsuchiya did not perform with them this time

Though he did appear here and there on the MMA Tour, he did not perform at the Final as I previously had expected. Well, they already played up his surprise appearance to the MAX at the Budokan. Anyway, I'm glad I wasn't at the Budokan because I swear I would have pissed in my pants the moment I saw his face on the screen XD. But it wouldn't have the same impact doing it the 2nd time around, eh? The only way Sho’s re-appearance can top the Budokan is if they actually announce him coming back to them.

* Photo from iTony Entertainment (it’s JMS subsidiary too!)

11. The biggest surprise of the night ..... Nori's getting married!

Their producer Nori Ohtani proposed to his girlfriend and after which, the band launched into their wedding anthem 「花」 -0714- . The fans, including yours truly XD, flooded the band's social media with messages congratulating him and wishing him well.

My thought :

Dating a rock band's manager / producer has its perk, eh? If things go well, you may get an epic marriage proposal with an orchestra, a choir and 18,000 eye witnesses too XD

Overall

One fan commented on IG that after watching the Makuhari show, the Tokyo Dome now doesn't seem like a dream anymore. I agree with her. I mean, if a band or any artist can hold a packed show at a venue like Makuhari Messe, with glowing reports and feedback afterwards, then the Tokyo Dome is not a dream but already a given.

Zealandia Angel Release 'Christmas Dreams' a Touching New Holiday Single

‘Christmas Dreams’ has been written in the middle of the Global Financial Crisis. My family's business crashed, my child was sick. It was time for me to decorate our Christmas tree. It would've been exciting if it was not for those two things. 

Artist: Zealandia Angel

New Release: Christmas Dreams

Genre: Dream Pop - Holiday

Sounds like: : Selena Gomez, Hasley, Alizee

Located in: : Auckland, New Zealand

This is when a beautiful melody poured into her mind along with the words: 

"I will hang my dreams On the Christmas limbs Evergreen, 

ever-bright They will shine all night For Peace and Hope and Grace.  Over praying heads, Over infants’ beds, 

Over healthy and sick, Over proud and meek, 

For Hope has come to the Earth. 

Through the needles I see Angels looking at me, 

A sweet and gentle voice Tells me to rejoice: 

Whether young or old, 

Whether scared or bold, 

Whether dancing or crying, 

Whether living or dying For Peace has come to the Earth."

Music Talk… Ava Max is the only singer who I respect. I wish I could have her mid belt. But I am thankful for what I am blessed with and hope to be a blessing to others.

This Christmas, many people can resonate with the message I received 10 years ago. A sad Christmas is still Christmas. Have hope, help others, and be blessed, as well as stock up on antivirals like L-Lysine, elderberry, and EpiCor Plus.

Right now we are...

I recently received my weekly Shazam report and there was 1 shazam of my "Christmas Dreams" from California. It means 2 things to me. It is played on air and someone liked it enough to learn more about the artist. I have a dozen of singles with music videos that are pending releases. I am excited about sharing it with our label's 35 000 subscribers and 6000 radio stations. I am also excited that I was personally invited to participate in the 17th IAMA (International Acoustic Music Awards). I hope my Christmas Dreams will win a prize.

About the Artist...

Zealandia Angel is an actress, singer, writer, and composer who is known for Song of Songs, Diamond Bay, and other musicals. She learned mixing and sound engineering from Grammy Awards recipient - Andrew Scheps who mixed Adel's 21, Lana Del Rey's Born to Die, and Lady Gaga's Artpop.

Her music is an extension of her character: gentle but not submissive, fragile but not broken, vulnerable but empowering.

In 2020 ZA released her Neo-Victorian album Virgo De La Mar. The album and the artist achieved great reviews such as "super fresh" (The Groove Cartel) and "super talent" (MindMassage Music). She was credited with creating "a beautiful genre of music" (Italian composer Riccardo Pietri), having a "beautiful" voice and "great ethereal tone" (Jeremy Lim Music), "pioneering sound ... which dares to go places others will not" (SoundOut).

Here is what fans say:

"Again this artist has done it again with delivering great work into her songs. The song provides creepy, yet pleasant echo vocals along with great beats into the mix..." and "You all need to listen to this voice angel. The voice is tuneful, amusing, melodious and a very powerful one."

But Zealandia Angel who spent 2 years in her New Zealand Bay of Islands studio producing this 25 track album already had an ample amount of artistic training and dramatic performance in her past. In her Russian university, she was allowed to display her course mastery (in lieu of a final exam) by writing a classic tragedy in the dactylic hexameter style of Homer. Her translation and performance of the Latin song Gaudeamus Igitur won 1st place in a student vote. She was an honor student and received a scholarship from Concordia University in the USA from which she graduated with a BA in Humanities.

Her deep understanding of cultures, histories, and the ever-changing nature of arts allows her to have a bird's eye view of the current trends as well as seeing beyond the horizon. Her passion and vision for music are her only guides in her journey. "It gives a real middle finger to the conformist nature of music today and gives its alternative take with its production and vocals. The surreal lyrics and clear pitch of the vocals are fascinating and disturbing" (SoundOut)

While in attendance at Concordia she participated as a soprano in a joint venture between Concordia Theological Seminary and Fort Wayne Philharmonic Orchestra in the production and performance of a 90-minute long recording of Brahms's Requiem. To make the atmosphere even more intense the maestro decided to deliver the piece from a mezzanine while leaving the audience in complete darkness. When the performance was over she walked down to meet the audience just to find them in tears. People whom she did not know were giving her hugs like her closest friends.

Zealandia Angel was born in a provincial Russian town north of Ukraine. Her father was a fighter pilot born in Moscow. Her mother was a math teacher born in Voronezh county, Russia. While her parents were stationed overseas, she lived in her grandparents' historic house on Main street surrounded by a century-old garden of mature fruit trees, lilacs, and roses and her Grandma's folk songs sung in Russian and Ukrainian.

At home, as a teen, she had an impressive collection of literature assembled by her father but her favorite book was a small collection of poems by Evgeniy Baratinski. They were philosophical and sophisticated. She was trying to grasp the superior thinking patterns which were not found in works of other poets.

Her family legend claims that her father is a great-grandson of Prince Peter Ivanovich Meschersky. According to the legend, Peter Meschersky took his wife's maid as his wife after his wife died in 1867. He never formally remarried and the relationship was never legalized. They had a daughter, Maria, born c. 1870.

After the Russian Revolution of 1917, Maria and her husband, Vasiliy Mininkof, abandoned their property in Smolensk and dissolved into the masses of Moscow, avoiding political repressions. Maria never told the story and it nearly was buried with her. After her death, it was accidentally mentioned by a drunk uncle.

If the story is true, then, some of Zealandia Angel's ancestors were Ruriks who were Vikings and ruled Russia before the Romanovs for over 700 years. Her family DNA test found traces of the Scandinavian DNA, which would be expected in that scenario. She jokingly calls herself 1/16 princess, 15/16 - angel.

On her mother's side, she had a beloved Grandfather who was a Jew but it was disclosed to her only after his death. Foods that she ate at home and thought were Russian turned out to be sold at the Jewish sections in US supermarkets. The song Gooseberries is a true love story of her grandparents during the trials of WWII when her grandfather spent 7 years in concentration camps. Her second album will be named after this song.

Zealandia Angel's husband, Joshua, inspired all of her love songs. He was born in San Antonio and graduated from TX A&M. Joshua is a software engineer who takes her music videos to the next level. He has an AI-equipped 3D render farm that can challenge Hollywood. They have 1 son.

Funny facts

The sound of military jets at night rocked her to sleep.

One time her Dad brought home a tall pile of rabbit drawings to her sheer excitement! It was the product of an assignment he gave to his military pilot cadets - to draw rabbits for his daughter.

In Russia, as a kid, she would climb a fence to sneak into the military territory after school to go see her Dad. At the time, he was the head of the aerodynamics department and had a partly disassembled fighter jet in the middle of his office.

Zealandia Angel learned English by reading the King James Bible in Russia. When she arrived in the US and was asked to read an NIV version in her theology class at Concordia University, the lack of eloquent style made her think it was a children's bible.

- IMDb Mini Biography By: Alisha Riley aka Zealandia Angel

LINKS:

 https://youtu.be/VaM1rlATP3E https://open.spotify.com/album/6zimqifCgoDuCApTPH2yln?si=DId5vbj8TTWO8tBRXKBpbw https://twitter.com/ZealandiaAngel https://www.facebook.com/ZealandiaAngel https://www.instagram.com/ZealandiaAngel

Dropbox link or reverbnation link so we can download your song: http://zealandiaangel.com/christmasdreams

LINK to the photo we should use for this:: https://zealandiaangel.com/img/In_the_Forest.png

Wasted Time

Written: October 16, 2020

I started playing Dragon Raja, an MMORPG game that really has amazing graphics, on the first day of its release, February 27, 2020. I made some friends there, and also caused my real life stuff to have complications for a while.

About approximately a couple of months playing the game, the club I was in (usually called guilds on PC MMORPGs) was getting boring, and I wanted to quit already. However, even if it’s only been a few months, we (me and my partner) have already invested quite a lot of money in getting some items there. And I thought, maybe if I can find another reason to play the game then we’ll stay for a while. And this thought made me create my own club, Crystal.

Crystal grew so fast, even surpassing some clubs that have been there ever since the first day of the release. We made lots of friends there, and it was fun... until it got too boring for my partner that he decided to really quit the game. Of course, I didn’t want to let go of his account just like that, so I played it on behalf of him; which means I played two accounts. This situation got me all burnt out, plus the fact that he was my greatest support in running Crystal, and so I decided to step down from being Crystal’s leader. I passed leadership to a friend. During this time, the stagnancy of the growth of the club was clear. We weren’t really growing anymore ever since my partner stopped playing, and I can’t be bothered to work on the growth of the club with my hands full from playing two characters. My personality has also reverted back to my original personality, an introvert, so I wasn’t really interacting with anybody unless I needed to during that time.

Fast forward, this stagnancy became worse and evolved into a decline of growth. Some people started leaving, however the biggest turning point was a conversation that happened within the group chat of our Officers. One of the officers voiced out that she wanted to try the biggest club in the Server, and after that declaration, everything just went down... like a domino. The core members of the club started leaving as well, with the reason that they wanted a new environment, and Crystal definitely wasn’t giving any exciting atmosphere in playing the game anymore. It was always the same people talking, no new exciting stuff to offer, and the stagnant if not declining growth.

The person whom we passed leadership to also expressed that he wanted to try the club that his special someone was in. And so I was left with two choices: to get back the Leadership and try to revive the club, or merge our club into another club. The first choice wasn’t really a good one for me, since during my reign as the leader, all it did was stress me out and give me break downs due to the fact that it was hard for me to interact with people without the back up of my partner, and also the timezone that the game was in. It was in North American time, so I always had to put alarms for events... and my sleeping time definitely was very short during those days. And so, I decided to put a poll in our Discord server whether they would agree to merge with the club Requiem, and most agreed, however, there were two or more people that had something to say about the club. When I sent the poll to the server, I wasn’t really the most decisive person. I was torn in between reviving the club or merging. It was a club that we all grew, after all. It was hard for me to just let go of it. During one of my most indecisive days, I logged in to the game, and found that the friends I had left in the club were talking about transferring over to WE, and I felt a little betrayed over that. Nevertheless, the fact that there were people that didn’t want to be in Requiem also made me agree with their choice of club. And so, that day, I was the only active one in the club that was left.

Just to not make them feel guilty that they left me in the club, I promised them that I will follow them to WE... which I did after a few days. I didn’t want to give up fully on Crystal, so I decided to just pass leadership to my alt (a dummy account). True enough, I tried WE, however, since I was already the introvert Angel, it was hard for me to feel like I fit in. Even with an active club chat, I still felt lonely because I didn’t know these people, and the people that I did know (ex-Crystal members) weren’t really exactly close friends of mine. After a few weeks in WE, I decided to go back to Crystal. Nobody talked in the club chat, but at least the loneliness I felt wasn’t because I feel left out. Besides, in Crystal, I didn’t have to talk to anyone I wasn’t comfortable with, which was plus points for the introverted me. At least here in my dead club, Crystal, I didn’t have to chat or talk to anyone, I just had to play the game, and talk with a friend of mine (ex-Deputy of Crystal) who carries me around to events every now and then. I stayed in Crystal for two weeks, without anybody to talk to but that friend (even if he’s already in another club). It was lonely, but I knew it was my fault for choosing to be an introvert in a game better enjoyed with friends.

After two weeks in Crystal, I was overwhelmed by a strong urge to quit. However, since I mentioned on my last blog the reasons why I haven’t quit yet, I let myself get convinced by a friend from the V club. I asked my friend if he wanted to join me in V, since one of his close friends is there as well. And so we transferred.

I gave leadership back to my alt. Even if Crystal can be considered a dead club, there were still players there that go online every other day, however, they don’t talk. Some of the names were familiar which means they’ve been in Crystal for a while, and so I didn’t want to completely erase Crystal from the server. This was the reason as to why I wanted to keep Crystal on my alt.

The day when Amber and me went to my parents’ house, I forgot to login to my alt. This game has this system where it auto merges inactive clubs to active clubs, and the leaders have a choice to agree or decline this request. If the leader doesn’t give a response after 24 hours, this means that the merge will push through. So when I forgot to login my alt for a day, this was when the merge request appeared... and I missed it. I just found out about my club, Crystal, getting sucked into WE (the club I tried out) when they mentioned me in our Discord server. This means that there is no more Crystal in the whole server. All of our hard work in building that club gone to waste.

My mind didn’t really absorb that fact right away, but after a few days, the feeling of sadness consumed me. When I told myself that I’d write about my DR story, I was pretty emotional. My first draft for this blog was disorganized and nonsensical, so I decided to rewrite it again, and this is how it came up.

Oh well. That’s the story of how I wasted my time on a game... again.

Sincerely, Angel

VELVET OCEAN – The power of imagination https://www.facebook.com/velvetoceanband/ [ Artwork: Abstract Chaos · Design ] [ Pic: Jarkko Ronkainen ] VELVET OCEAN is an ALTERNATIVE MELODIC METAL band from Oulu, Northern Finland. The story of the band began a couple of years ago as a co-writing project of the main singer Riitu and her husband, guitarist Jarkko ‚Jake‘ Ronkainen. As songs kept popping up the project soon evolved into a studio project with both session musicians and later band members joining in. Early in the pre-production stage Oulu symphonic orchestra cello players Arto Alikoski and Harri Österman joined as well as the established Finnish keyboard player Marco Sneck. TRACKS: 01. It’s So Hard 03:20 02. Tonight 03:47 03. Requiem 05:05 04. Butterfly 05:27 05. Truth Or Illusion 03:01 06. Elysian Fields 03:58 07. Broken 03:58 08. Innocent Eyes 03:28 09. Lullaby 04:14 10. Salvation 03:58 total: 40:16 min. The debut album recorded in this way, which later got the title „Purposes And Promises“, was handed over to Johan Örnborg and Jens Bogren for mixing and mastering at the well-known Fascination Street Studios. „Purposes And Promises“ was released on February 7, 2020 via Helsinki Records and is distributed by Warner Music Finland. The title of the album describes the motivation of the Ronkainens behind the album project. It has been the sole purpose of their lives for the last few years, says Jake, and the promise they made to complete it has held the project together throughout the hard work period. VELVET OCEAN believe that music is a connection between their own feelings and the outside world, and that is why their compositions tell stories about things that have happened in their personal lives. The music style of VELVET OCEAN is basically derived from all the music the couple has ever listened to, and also incorporates influences from genres other than Metal music. LINE-UP: Riitu Ronkainen • Vocals Jarkko ‚Jake‘ Ronkainen • Guitar, Vocals Jani Lehtinen • Guitar Tuomas Vesa • Bass Jami Alaverronen • Synths Arto Alikoski • Cello Bastian Schallschmidt • Drums The independent style reminds a little bit of other contemporary Melodic Metal bands with female vocals, but adds a touch of Pop and Grunge as well as distinctive drum beats and acoustic instruments. „Our music is about honesty and dealing with certain emotions that have caused some difficulties or challenges in life. It’s about expressing yourself and dealing with negative feelings in a way that other people can identify with them,“ adds Riitu, who describes her attitude towards music itself as follows: „Music is very important to me. It’s almost as important as the air that I breathe. Music gives a meaning to my life. It’s also a sort of therapy to me. With music I can express the thoughts and emotions that I go through. I’m the kind of person that I have a very vivid imagination and I feel that this is a quality that is very useful in making music. Music connects me very strongly to my emotions in a way that sometimes feels even a little bit excessive. It is very important to me to communicate with the people listening to our music. I mean an emotional level connection that would make the people try to understand the feelings we have put into the blend that has eventually made the music exist. I am also very visual in my composing. I would like the mere music and the sound to fill the whole inner space of the person listening with images and landscapes. Today the world is packed with visual information and leaves less to the imagination which is kind of a negative thing sometimes. In the end, I would love to think that our music will prevail after everything we’ve gone through.“ On May 21st VELVET OCEAN released the latest music video, this time for the album song „Elysian Fields“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8rcFZzxtmA DISCOGRAPHY: 2020 • Purposes And Promises (Full-length) E-MAIL: [email protected] MEDIA FEEDBACK: 4 / 5 „… for the young band’s debut album, it’s a shockingly strong accomplishment.“ (Desibeli)

4 / 5 „You’ll love the mix of depth and the accessibility here – it’s a winning combination … a great debut.“ (The Rockpit) 8 / 10 „… clean and defined sound quality, with the right amount of modern aggressiveness and weight. So everything can be heard and understood, and the listener will be able to catch what the band is trying to express … excellent work …“ (Metal Temple) „Emerging with a debut that is certainly promising for a strong career, VELVET OCEAN have shown themselves to be adept at both captivating songwriting and artists in balancing the contributions of a great number of artists.“ (Sonic Perspectives) „… this debut album has a very pleasant sound, very kind, very much if you like style, sentimentality and the charm of the peaceful … worth listening to … spirit and emotional experience, that does deliver and fulfill.“ (Dark Metal Divas) „Riitu Ronkainen‘s melancholic vocals can’t help but remind me of Evanescence‘s Amy Lee. The amount of emotion in her voice is incredible, which adds so much more depth to the otherwise straightforward yet charming melodies. She effortlessly transitions from poppy to classical vocals, hitting every note. From then on, the tracks remain easy to listen to and flow into one another smoothly … every single one of the seven band members has something special to add to this record, from powerful, varied bass lines to drums ranging from explosive to sensitive … they have managed to develop and grow into their very own musical identity during the making of this album, due to an intuitive creative flow that can only be celebrated. It’s undeniable VELVET OCEAN has put their heart and soul into ‚Purposes And Promises‘ …“ (Tuonela Magazine) „VELVET OCEAN together with front woman Riitu Ronkainen themselves create a kind of crisp, fresh, romantically charged Alternative Metal sound, with confidently played (Rock)guitars and opulent arrangements. The extremely tasteful performance is pampered by catchy, velvety soft tone sequences and Riitu’s anytime devoted vocals.“ (Sonic Seducer) „Ten atmospheric tracks inspire with hard sounds and velvety soft melodies. Impressive use of cello and soulful vocals give the compositions an inevitably engaging character. The enchanting voice of singer Riitu is powerful and fragile at the same time and always conveys captivating emotionality … ‚Purposes And Promises‘ surpasses its promises!“ (Orkus) etc. ⚡ 🔔 📢 ➤ 𝓥𝓔𝓛𝓥𝓔𝓣 𝓞𝓒𝓔𝓐𝓝 • 𝙊𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙤 & 𝙋𝙍 Action 🔗: https://www.metalmessage.de/Promotion_VELVET_OCEAN_en.php 📢 🔔 ⚡ VELVET OCEAN are available for interviews via phone, Skype & e-mail

Thoughts on Dear Evan Hansen

Overall rating: 4.5/5

Plot: 4/5

Songs: 4.5/5

For starters, it 100% deserved that Tony, any naysayers can go away, sorry. I love Great Comet and Groundhog day with all my heart and I wouldn’t have been upset to see them win, but I would have been surprised it wasn’t this wonderful musical.

As someone who has struggled with their mental health pretty much all their life, has gone through having people close to me commit suicide and has always used music and musical theatre as a guide and an escape from it, to hear that a musical was coming to broadway dealing with issues such as depression, anxiety and suicide in teens was too good to be true!

With the conversation surrounding mental health gradually getting more mainstream and more people are talking about it, a musical surrounding these themes couldn’t be more up my alley.

I’ve been excited for this musical ever since the lyrics came out and that was all I had to go off of. I knew all the words to the songs before the cast recording had even come out.

I think the songs perfectly sum up all the mish mash of feelings of when you’re in those low moments, the climactic song towards the end of the second act ‘Words Fail’ is both one of the most powerful performances from Ben Platt (a well deserved Tony, might I add) and perfectly rounds out the self hatred and pity that one can feel for oneself in a depressive state.

I feel like the representation of masculinity in this show is really important. Societal pressures on masculine identifying people tell them to keep quiet about their feelings and to keep them guarded and to not let anyone see. “Suicide is four times more common in men than women, and in 2005, 1,657 men took their own lives (ABS, 2007)” Source

To have the main character be a sensitive, non-stereotypical and intuitive teenage boy is incredibly important and necessary to see.

The only thing that I have a gripe with the show about is it is a little lacking in diversity. Coming from last years season where the four tony actor and actress award winners all went to people of colour going into a season that was back to a pretty whited out run (coughBandstandcough), it was disheartening to see only one black named character, Alana. When you look at the statistics in mental health in teens, the difference in teens of colour compared to white teenagers is astronomical. “A disproportionate number of suicides occurred among young male American Indians during this period—young men 15 to 24 accounted for 64 percent of all suicides by American Indians (CDC, 2001).” Source  

So, to not see this represented was disheartening, POC need this representation just as much as white people do. I hope that one day broadway can realise this.

While you can head cannon all you want (Evan and Connor are both trans and literally nothing you can say will stop me from believing it), the queer representation is appalling. From what I’ve researched (I haven’t had time to watch the full bootleg yet, but someone feel free to correct me if I’m wrong!), its not even outrightly stated that Jared is gay. Its just the stereotypes played out. Again, in queer teens mental health is a huge issue, the discrepancy between queer youth and cisgender heterosexual youth in mental health is disgustingly drastic.

“Compared to the general population, LGBTI people are more likely to attempt suicide in their lifetime, specifically:

LGBTI young people aged 16 to 27 are five times more likely

Transgender people aged 18 and over are nearly eleven times more likely

People with an Intersex variation aged 16 and over are nearly six times more likely

LGBT young people who experience abuse and harassment are even more likely to attempt suicide”

Source

Obviously, I’m not saying that every story is able to be told in one singular musical, but for a musical to be claiming to represent mental health in teens, and then missing out representing the biggest proportion of teens who have these problems, is very sad to see.

Before I go into a talk through of each song below the cut I want to say that I truly love this musical. On days when it was hard to get out of bed or thought it would be better if I were to disappear, this musical has honestly pulled me out of those gutters.

I completely understand that this musical means a lot to some people, and I 100% empathise with why and I’m so happy for you that this musical was able to help you and I. I’m able to enjoy it despite its flaws, of which there are very few, and I definitely come from the mindset of the people who really love something are the most critical of it. 

If you haven’t yet, give Dear Evan Hansen a listen! However I recommend reading the Wikipedia synopsis along with it as the plot can be hard to understand from just the soundtrack! Talk through of the soundtrack/spoliers below the cut

- Sparky <3

Anybody have a map? - I think this is a perfect example and representation of how hopeless and helpless a parent can feel when trying to support a struggling teen. Also, in this show is a wonderful representation of single mothers and I think this song sets it up well.

The harmonies in are beautiful, I love harmonies in any song, add a harmony to anything and I’ll love it I promise. 

Waving through a window - Ahhhh I love this song a lot. Close to my favourite. This was the song I first read the lyrics to before the musical came out and I just aGH. It perfectly sums up social anxiety in a string of beautiful and melodic metaphors. The idea of “Waving through a window” and questioning whether anyone is waving back is something that many people, including myself, have gone through or are going through. A beautiful, beautiful song and message for a all too relatable topic.

Ben Platt’s combination of soft almost soothing notes with the belting of the final notes in the song is perfect. I can’t think of another adjective to describe it.

For Forever - A beautiful melody mixed with a beautiful fantasy. The fact that this is him imagining what it would be like to have a friend is heartbreaking. The voice crack on “He’s coming to get me”, gets ME everytime. 

Also Ben Platt can hit a high note holy poop.

Sincerely Me - For a pretty dark musical, this song is the perfect uplifting BANGER. Doing the dance to myself in the car on the freeway is dangerous though, would not recommend.

The no homo moment in it is a bit :/ though.

Requiem - I’ve got to admit the first few times I heard this song I didn’t like it. I hated the idea of someone saying that they were glad that their brother was dead and asking why they should miss them. I hated the idea of a person who is suicidal sitting in that audience or listening at home, hearing what they already believed for themselves what Zoe was saying, that they wouldn’t be missed. 

But it wasn’t until a friend pointed out what this song was really saying, how it was representing different ways of dealing with grief until I realised that it was incredibly important. I now love this song.

If I could tell her -  Ugh. I have so many gripes with this song I’m sorry.

First of all anyone who sees this song as a love song I have questions for you.

This song is so idealising of Zoe, and so ‘manic pixie dream girly’ I die. 

I get the social anxiety side of it. I get having all of these thoughts bubbling inside of you and being too anxious to tell someone, I get it, trust me. 

But its the fact that he says “I love you”, I’m sorry but you can’t love someone you’ve never spoken to before. You can love the idea of a person. You can like how a person looks or acts. But you cannot love them.

And the fact that this is all being said as if it were Connor, her dead brother is just so messed up. I get that thats the point but, I just worry that people will see this song as ‘goals’ or ‘I wish someone would think/ do that for me’ when it is NOT a healthy outlook on women, love or just people.

It’s a lovely song, but I wish it was less idealising and was phrased differently. Less ‘not like other girls’ please.

Disappear - No one does deserve to disappear. Some days it was only this song that could tell me that.

You will be found - This is my favourite song on the soundtrack. I love this song so much. I have the lyrics as a sticker on my laptop and in a frame next to my bed. I have one distinct memory of this song.

It was a really dark moment, I had woken up from some horrific nightmares, was in the midst of a bad brain time and all I wanted was to go back to sleep, forever. But I had work that day, I had stuff to do. I put on this song and at the end of it, I was crying and getting up to get in the shower, something I didn’t even realise I was capable of that day. This song gives me so much motivation, I do have other songs that do the same things, but the fact that this is up there with other songs, is big for me.

If you listen to one song from this musical, listen to this one. You will not regret it.

“Let that lonely feeling wash away Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay ‘Cause when you don’t feel strong enough to stand You can reach, reach out your hand

And oh, someone will coming running And I know, they’ll take you home

Even when the dark comes crashing through When you need a friend to carry you And when you’re broken on the ground You will be found”

To break in a glove - Eh. I like the message. But, you know how theres that one song in a musical you always skip over? This is mine :-)

Only us - Can Laura Dreyfuss make a lullaby?? Please?? She has such a soothing and beautiful voice I love it so much.

This song is a really good representation of what its like to date someone with a mental illness. Its a beautiful duet and I love it to pieces.

Good for you -  Literally the best song if you just need to be angry. This song ignites a fury in me like little else can. All I want to do is PUNCh stuff after I listen to it, I love it. Amazing.

Words Fail - Ben Platt deserved that Tony and if you want an example of why just listen to this. It’s beautiful, simple, elegant and heartbreakingly sad all at once.

So big/so small - Single mothers need to be worshipped by every person on earth I’m pretty sure its in the Bible. I also think this is really good representation of what a kid needs from their parent when going through a mental health spiral, undying and unconditional support and love.

Finale - :’), Honestly incredible. I don’t know how many ways I can say I love this musical, but I do, I really do. 

“Today is going to be a good day. And here's why: 

because today, today at least you're you and—that's enough.​“

I love this musical and I will cherish it always.

I know the sort of people who would be listening to it though, so I’m going to say that my PM’s are open and so is my ask box, if you ever want to chat.

If you need urgent care/attention, please contact lifeline or the equivalent in your country.

<3

Romance head canon ❤️ in all the fan fiction I read its Valkyrie initiating the relationship/kiss👄 , her flirting. I read this piece and it was like from ghastly POV and he picked up on the way skul 💀look at her. Want some head canons of skulls POV. 👀

oho do i have some shit for you

seriously anon i think this might be the longest fucking post ive ever made

the way i read the books, skul starts to realise he’s in the process of falling for val when she’s 17-18. which is dodgy in some parts of the world, and idk where you’re from anon, but in my country the age of consent is 16 so i’m cool with interpreting it like that

the first instances of like, gentle flirting, from him are in death bringer and kotw. 

1. “You’re late.” 

“I’m beautiful.”

“You’re always beautiful.”

“I’m always late, too.”

skulduggery is from the 1600s, and flirting back then was not as obvious as it is today. this is roughly the time where he starts complimenting her regularly on her appearance. “you’re always beautiful” is a pretty safe compliment to give any girl, especially a girl like val who’s fairly vain and aware that she’s beautiful. i think here he’s kind of. testing the water? like not openly flirting with her, but more seeing whether she’s receptive to that kind of comment coming from him? whether he should bother to keep them coming? because if she’d responded here with an immediate awkward or disgust reaction, or if she’d kind of gone “that’s a little weird, skulduggery” i bet you none of the other semi-flirty stuff in the books would’ve gone down. he would’ve backed off, immediately

but she doesn’t. she just accepts it - we don’t get a physical reaction from her, but he keeps the compliments coming so there was probably some vaguely positive physical cue, i.e. she smiled at him or something, and says, “I’m always late, too.” The ‘too’ acknowledging that she knows she’s always beautiful. Thank you. Which let’s be real, is a response to half-flirty compliments that he’s probably used to from china. She’s not told him to fuck off, so that’s a positive.

And then he’s treated her to a gorgeous dress. 

2. “The dress was long and slinky, strapless, silk and chiffon. Her shoes were gorgeous”

I’m sorry, but if you see someone as a surrogate child, you don’t buy them a sexy dress. You just don’t, it’s inappropriate and wrong. And yeah, you might buy a dress like that for your platonic friend if you know that’s your friend’s style, but val isn’t a regular dress-wearer. so chances are, he bought her something he’d like to see her in, and hoped she’d like it. It’s not mentioned in the book, but it’s also possible he had to actually buy her underwear at this point. “Long, slinky, strapless” dresses usually require panties that don’t leave underwear lines, and strapless bras. Since val isn’t a regular wearer of slinky clothing or dresses, chances are she doesn’t actually own any suitable underwear for this dress. So either she went without, which would’ve been kind of uncomfortable for her during the whole nonsense with melancholia that went down at the requiem ball, or skulduggery bought her underwear to wear with the dress. 

how does he even know what size she is? either he asked ghastly, or he paid a lot of attention to that naked reflection. 

“I thought I’d spoil you,” he says. We know skulduggery spends a lot of money on the important woman in his life. China says he used to bring her priceless books and artifacts which would’ve cost him an arm and a leg, and it’s probably safe to say he bought her outfits, too, while they were together. He doesn’t seem to spend his money on people who don’t matter to him (as much). You don’t see him splashing out to get tanith a set of protective clothes, and he doesn’t so much as take elsie through the burger king drive-thru. Yet, I googled how much it costs to remodel a house and the answers I’m getting are all in like the £40,000 to £75,000 bracket, which might be out, but since I know nothing about house renovation, I’m gonna run with that. So he spent over £40,000 on doing up his house so val could essentially live there and spend more time with him. You don’t spend that kind of money on someone you’re not planning on having there long-term. 

He also implies that he would’ve gone to Ghastly to get val’s requiem ball dress if he hadn’t been so busy. ghastly’s clothes are implied to be expensive. it’s one thing for skul to buy val protective clothes - she’s his responsibility, and he wants to keep her safe, it’s an understandable expense. but splashing out just to buy her a fuckin expensive dress tailor-made by ghastly just to spoil her? dude got feelings

i mean let’s also take into account that that was what dudes did in ye olde days, right? they were the primary source of income. in 1600-whatever, the girl would’ve moved in with the guy, put her own touch on the home, and it would’ve been her husband’s responsibility to “keep” her; to pay for her clothes, her food, her entertainment, etc

What’s val done in the past few years?

“Moved into” skul’s house - not full-time, but it’s implied she spends a lot of time there, put her own touch on it via having it entirely fucking remodeled to suit her, what with having the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom put in, and spent a whole lot of skul’s money. he spoils her. in exchange, she makes his house into a home - probably just by being there, bc lets face it this is val and she’s no domestic goddess. but it mimics, i like to think, the way he would’ve treated his wife. money no object to make her happy

if you look at it like this, he’s basically treating her as though they’re in a relationship already. i doubt he’s actually taking that seriously and deluding himself that they’re a thing, but again, he’s testing it out. how does she react to him treating her like this? does she have issues with it? is she comfortable? and she’s totally chill with it, so another positive

There’s also this:

3. “Now she had her own bedroom, there was a bathroom with a huge shower and a kitchen with a fully-stocked fridge.”

So not only did he refurbish for her, but he refurbished with quality. Which, yeah, it’s skulduggery, he’s got expensive tastes, but tbh i think he let her pick out everything. which means she picked all this expensive shit that looks great but cost him a mint and he doesn’t care, bc this is how he shows affection

4. “sometimes she wondered how much money she’d cost him with her insistence on refurbishment”

So refurbishing was val’s idea. The fact that she wanted skul’s house changed for her probably came across as like. not flirty, exactly? but to him, she’s saying that she wants to spend more time here. more time with him. she wants his home to be her home. he probably saw that as encouragement, tbh, he was so happy about it? 

then in kotw, we have this:

5. “Remember that sorcerer who went missing?”

Valkyrie raised her head off the pillow even as she woke. For a moment she didn’t know where she was, then she recognised the house on Cemetery Road…

“Patrick Xebec,” Skulduggery said, standing in the morning sunlight that streamed in through the window.

he’s. in her room. while she’s asleep. at this point, they have no boundaries. skulduggery would’ve been raised that to come into a young lady’s room while she is abed is just. not done. the only woman it would’ve been appropriate for him to do that with would be his wife, or a lover - women he’d essentially share a room with anyway (don’t quote me on this, but i think a lot of couples in his era had separate bedrooms as standard? and then just slept together when they wanted to? because a lot of marriages were out of convenience and not love?). but im pretty sure there’s also another scene of him doing it again - coming into her room before she’s up and waking her up by talking at her - so either he’s just utterly lost his sense of propriety over the years or he’s so comfortable with her and she with him that they no longer have that boundary

6. “She took a quick shower, dressed, and Skulduggery had a bowl of cereal waiting for her when she emerged.”

so not only is he a-ok with coming into her room while she’s still in it, they’ve also got into a morning routine with each other. he makes her breakfast. it’s wonderfully domestic, a little gesture of affection in his very understated way. skulduggery is an over-the-top personality who doesn’t do emotions very well, and val has no subtlety. he’s treating her like he’d treat his significant other, but because he hasn’t actually smacked her in the face with a brick stamped with “I LIKE YOU” in big letters, she’s not picking up what he’s throwing out there

it’s also worth mentioning that like. in death bringer and kotw, he starts touching her a lot more. hugging her, or letting her hug him. that scene where he pushes her up against a wall and kinda feels her up to check if she was shot, even though she’s wearing protective clothes and so he knows none of the bullets would’ve hurt her. that bit in kotw(?) where she gets stuck in the hole and he has to pull her out. it’s pointed out on the skulduggery forums in the valdug thread that if you pull someone out by their underarms, like he tries to, you’re gonna touch boob. you just are. it’d be shockingly difficult not to. and again, no negative reaction from her, not even an awkward joke

again, for the most part of skul’s life, male-female physical contact was very limited. he didnt touch her very often for the first half of the series, and i think that had a lot to do with the fact that in his mind, it would’ve been inappropriate. touching is something you do with the girl you’re courting. so like, he’ll hug her if she needs to be hugged, or comfort her if she needs it or whatever, but there’s no casual touching. but in the last four books, he touches her an awful lot. because he is kinda courting her

kotw i think is the point where skul stops dodging around on the edge of flirting, and starts actually flirting. and tries to let her know he’s got feelings for her, because he’s a whole lot less subtle in this book. there’s this whole exchange: 

7. “It’s just, if you were feeling somehow…unattractive…”

“Sorry?”

“I don’t mean unattractive,” he said quickly. “I mean, if you were thinking that maybe you’ll always be alone -”

“You think I’ll always be alone?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

We know that when skulduggery was alive, he had a stutter. this isn’t a stutter, but he’s definitely nervous, and you can tell? i can count the number of times skulduggery was visibly nervous in the books on one hand. he’s a very confident, very self-assured man. but this is the first time he’s kind of made it obvious to val that he likes her. this is him kind of going, i’m an available romantic prospect, valkyrie. but she doesn’t let him get it out, she won’t let him finish. he phrases it wrong and loses his chance.

8. “I was only trying to be sensitive.”

she’s hurt him. she won’t let him talk, won’t let him tell her how he feels. she “doesn’t need him sensitive”. she’s kind of. pretty much completely dismissed that he’s also a person with feelings, and she’s hurt him.

9. “you can’t run from your feelings!”

“i can walk from them.”

he doesn’t deny that there are feelings to walk from. by now he’s picked up that valkyrie is dense as a fucking wall, so the flirting is getting a little bit more obvious. and even though she just hurt him, and he’s now kinda pissed at her as a result, he still acknowledges that he has feelings

and then, in lsodm, we get this absolute fucking gem

10 “tight trousers don’t count.”

he’s given up, everyone. this is outright flirting, it even sounds flirty on the audiobook, he knows he’s not fucking getting anywhere and now he’s just not even bothering to be subtle

and then, going totally outside of canon, i like to think that the Big Reveal is essentially skulduggery says something even more obvious than the tight trousers comment, and val kind of pauses and goes, “are you flirting with me?” and skulduggery is just like

HAVE BEEN FOR THREE YEARS NOW BUT THANKS FOR NOTICING

Carol Serling, Rod’s Wife and Tender of ‘Twilight Zone’ Flame, Dies at 90

Carol Serling, who helped extend the legacy of her husband, Rod Serling, the television writer best known for creating “The Twilight Zone,” through publishing, academic and screen ventures, died on Jan. 9 at her home in Pacific Palisades, Calif. She was 90.

Her daughter Anne Serling confirmed the death.

Mr. Serling, who died in 1975 at age 50, made a mark in various television projects through the years. But Ms. Serling’s work focused largely on “The Twilight Zone,” the seminal horror, science fiction and fantasy anthology series that ran from 1959 to 1964. Mr. Serling wrote 92 of its episodes, many bearing the imprint of his socially conscious ideas. As the host, he invited viewers into “a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.”

For Ms. Serling, “The Twilight Zone” never ended.

She was the associate publisher and consulting editor of Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone, a monthly magazine, in the 1980s. She was a consultant to “Twilight Zone: The Movie” (1983), a segmented film adaptation whose four directors included Steven Spielberg. In one segment she had a cameo role as an airline passenger in a remake of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,” the 1963 episode in which a terrified fellow passenger believes he has spied a gremlin cavorting on the wing outside his window.

In 1994, Ms. Serling found two unproduced stories by her husband in a trunk at her home and sold them to CBS, which televised them as “Twilight Zone: Rod Serling’s Lost Classics.” In 2009 and 2010, she edited anthologies of stories inspired by the series.

Perpetuating Mr. Serling’s work gave her “an entry into the world that I wouldn’t have had otherwise,” she told Cemetery Dance, a horror, mystery and suspense magazine, in 2005.

“I have made a business out of his legacy,” she said.

More recently Ms. Serling was an executive producer of a “Twilight Zone” reboot, a series, of the same title, that began streaming on CBS All Access last year, hosted by Jordan Peele.

Ms. Serling cemented Rod Serling’s place in the academy by donating many of his television scripts and movie screenplays to Ithaca College in upstate New York, where he had taught courses in creative writing and film and television criticism. The gifts helped the college establish its Rod Serling Archives. She also helped create scholarships and an award at the college, where she was a trustee for 18 years.

Carolyn Louise Kramer (she always went by Carol) was born on Feb. 3, 1929, in Columbus, Ohio, to Warren and Anne (Caldwell) Kramer, who were chemists. After her mother died when Carolyn was 2, she was raised by her grandparents, Frank and Louise Caldwell.

She met Mr. Serling in 1946 when they were students at Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio. When they married two years later, they lived on campus in a trailer. They graduated in 1950 — she with a bachelor’s degree in elementary education, he with a B.A. in literature.

By the mid-1950s, Mr. Serling was one of television’s leading dramatists, with his work performed live on various anthology series. His best-known scripts were for the Emmy Award-winning “Patterns” (1955), about a corporate boardroom struggle, which aired on “Kraft Television Theater,” and “Requiem for a Heavyweight” (1956), another Emmy winner (for best teleplay) about a washed-up boxer, broadcast on “Playhouse 90.”

In late 1959, soon after “The Twilight Zone” began its first season, Mr. Serling praised his wife’s instinctive understanding of his work when they were interviewed by The Press & Sun-Bulletin of Binghamton, N.Y. (Mr. Serling had lived there for a time as a youth.)

“Her taste is excellent,” he was quoted as saying, “and she has an unerring instinct about whether my work is good or bad — except for ‘Requiem for a Heavyweight.’ She disliked the play because she disapproves of boxing.”

They had 16 more years together, during which Mr. Serling also created and wrote episodes of a short-lived western series, “The Loner,” which premiered on CBS in 1965, and helped write the screenplay for the hit 1968 movie “Planet of the Apes.”

He also created a horror series, “Night Gallery,” that began its weekly run on NBC in 1970 and lasted three seasons. He hosted it and wrote some of the episodes.

He died on June 28, 1975, in Rochester, N.Y., after having a heart attack and open-heart surgery.

“Rod’s father died at the age of 52,” Ms. Serling told Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone magazine in 1987. “So I think Rod always felt this was hanging over his head — I know it did.”

In addition to her daughter Anne, who wrote a memoir, “As I Knew Him: My Dad, Rod Serling” (2013), Ms. Serling is survived by another daughter, Jodi Serling; three grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and a half sister, Cordelia Bedowsky.

Ms. Serling told Twilight Zone magazine that her husband had read science fiction, ghost stories and horror tales and had wanted to believe in E.S.P. and alien visitations, but that he was a skeptic.

“He was pretty even-keeled,” she said, “I mean, people must have thought he was kind of a far-out guy and kind of nuts, but he wasn’t. He really wasn’t.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/entertainment/carol-serling-rods-wife-and-tender-of-twilight-zone-flame-dies-at-90/

I rode my horse Pancanal throughout the countryside outside of Managua, Nicaragua, land of fuming volcanoes.

When I asked for advice on writing my cover letter for tenure-track job applications, I was told to address what I had done in the 16 years between receiving my Bachelor’s degree and going back to school for a Master’s in psychology. My draft letter had not done so… it was pointed out that departments want to know something about me beyond my academic records (papers published, courses taught). It was kindly not pointed out that 16 unexplained years could have been spent in prison, in a hippie commune, in a mental institution… insert anything an active imagination can come up with.

Much of my time in Spain was spent on a horse. Even when I was working as a full-time teacher, I would get up at 4:30 am on Saturday to ride out once a week. (Hipodromo de la Zarzuela, Madrid)

Unless they did some serious stalking, an admissions committee probably would not come up with the truth, so even though that paragraph about what happened in the interim felt weird, I have included it, in some form, in all my letters. It pretty much states what happened: I lived abroad for 16 years, most of them in Spain, but also in Mexico, Panama, and Nicaragua. I trained and rode race horses. I worked for an equine magazine. I taught at a bilingual British/Spanish school.

My first class, Preparatory (aka kindergarten) at St. Michael’s School (2005)

That doesn’t really mean anything… oh a reader could guess that I may know something about horses, children, and Spanish, but how much, and what that knowledge looks like, is not revealed. More importantly, much of who I am that resulted from that time abroad is only tangentially related, if at all, to these broad descriptions.

For example, my love of lieder began when I tried to play music for my horses at the track in Madrid (I was an amateur owner). The little radio I had would only play a classical station without static. Of course, I was already familiar with classical music; my parents had plenty, my grandfather loved it (I still remember his music collection), and I had played in an excellent high school band that performed, among other things, lots of Tchaikovsky, including the 1812 Overture, Wagner, Dvorak, etc. And I had already developed a certain fascination with Requiems. But I knew nothing of lieder.

At the track, I only listened. I didn’t understand the German, and my budget did not extend to purchasing CDs with lyrics in German and English. That would come later, when I had more money, and when I ran into Schubert’s Erlkönig–one of my favorites encountered on classical radio–writ into the story of Richard Power’s Time of Our Singing.  I had read Power’s Goldbug Variations years before (thanks to a wonderful used book store in Madrid); it’s full of Bach, and led to my enduring addiction to the his Goldberg Variations.  The Time of Our Singing happened to me much later, when I was already the mother of two small children; it revived my love of lieder and led to a huge collection of CDs.

You can go from the backstretch of a racetrack to Hugo Wolf.

I had gone to Spain with plans to stay a year and then return to the States. I wanted to do premed. I was not very forthright about this to the people in Spain. I arrived, and refused to make long-term commitments. But I ended up staying. You see, riding and training racehorses is fun. It’s challenging, physically and mentally, especially at first. During the first year, I was so exhausted (muscles work a lot harder when you are a novice) I had no time to be bored. I watched and learned. I rode with many trainers. I ended up with  my own horses, my own stable, and took the starting gate test to get my amateur jockey license and the trainers’ exam to get my amateur training license. I followed vets and farriers around. I learned to perform lameness checks and identify many unsoundnesses from the saddle and from the ground, I learned to draw blood, run a line, how long it takes to drip one liter, or five.  I learned to count time, and calculate whether I was going to gallop a two minute mile, or make it in 1:40. To make a few extra pesetas, I translated, magazine articles, documents such as training contracts. I made some sad attempts at writing novels. I listened to classical radio.

I read many books. And since Spanish libraries were poor, and most books were expensive, I read primarily classics. I read many of them twice. I’ve probably read every Penguin classic ever published (unless there are some that don’t get sold in Spain and except for Tom Jones. I just couldn’t finish Tom Jones.) Wordsworth classics were a bit less cheap, so I’ve probably only read 3/4 of the ones that don’t overlap with Penquin.

I’ve still got most of the classics I bought and read during my years at the racetrack (1993-1997).

Of course, I also read a lot of Spanish novels, because I could borrow them. And I have always had a language rule: If it was written in Spanish, I only read it in Spanish; if it was written in English, I only read it in English. If it was written in Portuguese, French or Italian, I prefer to read it in Spanish (that includes Kundera, who wrote in French). If it was written in German or Russian, I prefer to read it in English. Tolstoy added a lot of French in, so, just to be safe, I’ve read Anna Karenina and War and Peace** in both English and Spanish. I prefer Anna Karenina in Spanish, but War and Peace in English (with the French in French), but of course there are so many translations, that may matter more than the language per se.  There are a lot of authors I’ve only read in Spanish; clearly all those who wrote in Spanish (except Garcia Marquez, since my grandparents gave me One Hundred Years of Solitude when I in my early teens), but also Proust, Houellebecq, Anais Nin, Saramago, Stendhal…

**to give credit where it is due, I had already read War and Peace (and The Magic Mountain, Narcissus and Goldmund, The Woman in White, Women in Love, and many more) at my mother’s urging, years before. My grandparents had fed me a constant drip of classics from the time I could read. I did not arrive at this point having read only Anne McCaffrey, Ursula K. le Guin, Georgette Heyer, Agatha Christie, David Eddings, and the like; but I mainly read genre fiction, particularly science fiction and fantasy.

I was an accidental scholar, those years at the racetrack, because for the most part, I could only afford classics.  I read at least one book a week. Add in the fact that almost all my speaking was done in Spanish, whereas about 2/3 of my reading was done in English… I listened to classical music that was for the most part instrumental or, if vocal, in German or Latin and occasionally French or Italian; except the tangos. I listened to a lot of tangos.

This is probably not an unusual account for an American expat on a shoestring budget. One of the great things about just leaving your home country and forging your way, where no one knows much at all about you, except that you’re a Yankee, and probably stark raving mad, is that you start out with a blank slate. You learn about people from the ground up (especially at a racetrack). I had graduated from Georgetown University. It took two and a half years before the horse-owning, propertied side of my racetrack acquaintances realized I’d even gone to college (sooner or later it becomes impossible to avoid a direct question).

My first ride on Kamsia at the Hipodromo de las Americas, which was exactly two miles from our flat in Polanco (Mexico DF). I took a taxi there and jogged back every morning.

Eventually, and inevitably, I left the full-time racetrack life (although I continued to gallop whenever I could). I moved to Mexico City with my then husband; there I renewed my flute playing, watched every single film that came out in the 18 months we were there (there were seven theatres within walking distance of our flat in Polanco), visited every gallery and museum and exhibition… during this time, my friend Amy got married, and when I saw our mutual friend Stephanie there, she asked how my writing was going. Wow. For the last several years, I had forgotten to do more than keep detailed records of horse exercise and feed regimes, and my own intake of wine, films, and books.

lienzo charro de la villa

Above: a charreada in Mexico, DF.

I started writing again. I read a lot more books, because I had more money. I began to collect CDs.

In 1999 we moved to Panama and lived there for over three years. Both my sons were born there. Compared to Mexico City, there was little to do… but I made good friends and became a member of the best book club. Instead of reading the same book every month, we had a huge collection, and we read what we wanted. The rule was, you had to read at least one book each meeting, but I usually read 3-4. That was when I became very conversant with contemporary literary fiction. I’d read books I never would have considered had I not heard other members describe them in flattering–or better yet, controversial–terms.

In Panama I began to think about going back to university. I took a class at Universidad Católica Santa María La Antigua with the name of Bioethics, which I thought would mean medicine, but it really meant the environment.. The professor was Dutch. The class was in Spanish. My term paper was on Radical Ecology. I really had no idea of what radical ecology meant before that class.

I began writing novels in Panama, and I continued to do so when we moved to Nicaragua in 2002. In fact, writing was pretty much all I did in Nicaragua, other than being a mother, riding my horse, and having an expat social life. I met Enrique Bolaños, then the President of Nicaragua, but I didn’t recognize him. We had a conversation, and I walked away, and then I was told who he was and that I was an idiot (hahaha). To be fair, I am pretty sure that whoever introduced us mumbled his name 😉

I still read–but primarily nonfiction. For some reason, I do not like to read fiction when I am writing the first draft of a novel. I wrote three novels during the 15 months we were in Managua. And I had Readerville, the best online writer and reader site that ever lived and died.

In 2003, we returned to Spain, originally planning to stay about six months before moving to Bahrain. Ended up getting a divorce and staying in Spain, where I obtained a CELTA certificate, and then was hired by St. Michael’s school, where I taught 4-6 year olds for 1.5 years, and then secondary and baccalaureate for three years.

Directing a bilingual production of Evita was one of the most challenging and entertaining things I did at St. Michaels’.

Teaching at St Michael’s was fun, especially once I was moved to the older kids and given the top level students for English. My first class of second year baccalaureate students (aka seniors) was tiny but wonderful. Later classes were also great; challenging, but rewarding. Many of my students have become friends and are still in touch; I made great friends on the staff. I helped direct three musicals; I was one of three teachers who took the entire (junior year level) class to Italy.

I preferred older kids, but one of my favorite classes was a group of (secondary) first-years (equivalent to 7th grade).

I also continued writing books the entire time I was teaching. Most years, I completed nanowrimo. I read up on how to sell books (get an agent), and attempted to get an agent. I sent around 10 queries, and got discouraged. Since then, I have occasionally sent a flurry of queries. The only positive result was the response from Trafalgar Square Books, and they told me that although they loved my manuscript, it wasn’t the right thing for a newbie writer, and would I like to write another book, about myself or someone else. That’s where the Cowboy Dressage book came from, thanks to an old friendship with the Beth-Halachmys. And that wasn’t until I was in grad school.

St. Michael’s was a fantastic place to work. This was a staff party, but we also had wine for brunch when it was someone’s birthday. In Spain, the birthday person treats everyone else (to drinks, at a bar, or to breakfast, at work)

By the time I was working at St. Michael’s, I had determined to come back to the States to go to grad school… I thought probably philosophy, since that had been my hobby and passion since my senior year in high school. When my youngest finished first grade (by which time he could read and write in Spanish as well as English), we moved back to California. It was hard to go… I had a permanent contract at the school, and many good friends. But, I was bored, intellectually. I felt like I lacked mental discipline. I had things to say in philosophy, and I did not know how to say them (in a way that would result in a publication). So we moved to Arcata, CA., and I ended up doing psychology, which is not as good for discussion as philosophy is, but you can do empirical research, and statistics. I love designing studies and analyzing data (collecting it, not so much, but that’s a necessary step).

And now I am about to finish my PhD in psychology, with more experience than most, precisely because there is a hole in my cv.  I have acquired, accidentally, it seems, refined tastes in music, or so they say, including a giant CD collection. I have read more than is probably good for me, and think of everything in the context of fiction. Curiously enough, I have ended up studying fiction quite fortuitously; I set out to study moral cognition (narrative moral agency in particular), and stumbled upon my advisor’s short description on the OU psych department page: it had morality and fiction in the same tiny paragraph, and I thought, hmm, that sounds interesting.

Many many times I have wanted to say (and I have sometimes said it) that fiction has expressed a concept far better, many times. That Tolstoy and Trollope and DH Lawrence could tell you more about what motivates human behavior than any textbook or research article. That awe can be found listening to Brahms Requiem.  That teaching preschool is an excellent way to learn developmental psychology. That racing horses shows you that time perception is relative. That language shapes thought, just try doing philosophy in another language (so yeah, I’ve got an answer to that question).

Sometimes I am astounded by the ignorance of educated–if by this we mean, PhD–people when it comes to literature, history, and music. Of course, they have spent their time in other ways. But this ignorance is often combined with a disdain for the popular–genre fiction, music–and distrust of the rural–horses, ranches, racetracks. And that’s interesting indeed.

Sometimes there is a lot going on in a gap decade and a half.

coda:

It’s been over eight years since we returned to the states. I have not yet reached the point where I will have lived half of my adult life in the USA. Arcata was wonderful (I could see the Pacific from my back porch and had redwoods in my yard), and Norman has been a good place to live, but I really miss living abroad. I miss capital cities. I miss diversity of language, skin, culture, thought. I miss culture, public transport, and the smell of an underground train in steam coming up through a grate on a cold day. It’s been great this semester, hanging out with others at the Institute for the Study of Human Flourishing, not least because we are a diversity of discipline, thought, language, and culture (but mainly because we talk philosophy).

I had a phone interview (that didn’t progress to more) with St. John’s University (Queens). The main question seemed to be, could I live in NYC? And my hesitation about the position was undoubtedly evident, but it wasn’t because I couldn’t live in the city (besides, both Belmont and Aqueduct are within 6 miles of the university). Oh there are downsides (where could I keep a horse?) but… oh the culture! When I was in Boston last May, I wanted to wallow in it, in trains and sidewalks and people and the anonymity of the city. I can adapt anywhere, but there is more in a city.

For many reasons, I would like to stay in the States, but I do miss life as an expat, and ever since last November, I have been contemplating the possibility of relocating. Perhaps not permanently, not yet, but at least for a few years.

In my fairy tale life, I would live in a horse ranch, in the country, but close enough to a major university to be on the faculty–conduct research with a light teaching load.  AND I would have enough  money to fly to Paris, Madrid, Vienna, Mexico City, anywhere I wished, whenever I had the time. But that’s an unlikely scenario. Right now, I’d settle for a nice post doc someplace outside of the Bible Belt.

such is life, per Goethe and Schubert:

but also, perhaps:

That gap in my cv When I asked for advice on writing my cover letter for tenure-track job applications, I was told to address what I had done in the 16 years between receiving my Bachelor's degree and going back to school for a Master's in psychology.

Fan Get In The Robot As Singer/Voice Actress Megumi Ogata More Than Doubles Crowd-Funding Goal!

She was Kurama in YuYu Hakusho, she was Sailor Uranus in Sailor Moon. She was Yugi Mutou in Yu-Gi-Oh! Oh, and she was Shinji Ikari in an obscure anime called Neon Geneis Evangelion. And, in 2017, 51-year old voice actress/singer Megumi Ogata is celebrating the 25th anniversary of her career! In part, she's doing this with a crowd-funded Animeg. 25th album.

  While she was staggering the Japanese and international efforts, the Japanese Campfire campaign, launched at the end of last week, hit its 100,000yen goal in 90 minutes and and today crossed 200%

  Check out the English page at http://ift.tt/2qbzoB4

  【To overseas fans!】 How are you? Do you remember…? The news that I talked for you about before? Today, the time has come! ⇒NEXT　#animeg25th

— 緒方恵美@6/6BDLive (@Megumi_Ogata) May 12, 2017

Today, I will start Crowdfunding in JAPAN! 1st, if I let the project succeed in Japan, …next! It's YOUR CUE！ Don't miss it♡ #animeg25th

— 緒方恵美@6/6BDLive (@Megumi_Ogata) May 12, 2017

Megumi Ogata 25th Debut Anniversary Project Please wait… I'll be right with overseas fans! Please pray for success in Japan. #animeg25th

— 緒方恵美@6/6BDLive (@Megumi_Ogata) May 12, 2017

【御礼】支援総額2000万円を突破！ 200％です…夢のようです…。 ありがとうございます…！ #animeg25th 【緒方恵美、声優デビュー25周年記念企画】国内＆海外、同時に正規CDを届けたい https://t.co/DLzCaEuear @campfirejpより

— 緒方恵美@6/6BDLive (@Megumi_Ogata) May 16, 2017

    From the English page

  Hello! My name is Megumi Ogata. I’m a Japanese singer as well as a voice actress for animations. My 25th voice actress debut anniversary will come in a few months on October 10!

Why am I producing an album through crowdfunding, you ask? I have two main reasons.

To provide genuine content to Japanese fans and also fans around the world at the very same time

To raise awareness in Japan and overseas about the current status of our industry

As you may already know, the CDs and DVDs that we produce in Japan are difficult to obtain outside of Japan. I don’t mean the pirated and illegally distributed versions. The genuine copies of our CDs and DVDs are difficult to obtain. As authentic routes of distribution are scarce, fans are generally required to import them privately and pay hefty shipping fees.

  We in the industry want to share our music and other creations with fans, no matter where they reside. Fans overseas often ask us about gaining access to more of our content, too.

  I spent a long, long time pondering over this issue. What can I do to overcome this invisible wall separating the fans and myself? There has to be something that even I can do, right?

The conclusion I came to was to utilize the power of crowdfunding.

I consulted other members in the industry about my thoughts. Many fans in Japan also helped me brainstorm and search for possibilities. “We want to share the pleasure of receiving something on the day it’s released with fans living outside of Japan”. “We would like to celebrate music and creativity with fans around the world”.

  To transform those thoughts into reality, I decided to propose this special project. My wish is for this project to serve as a platform that upcoming generations of Japanese voice actors and actresses, musicians, and other members of the entertainment industry can use to connect with fans around the world. Not just in sharing music through CDs, but also through other simple yet innovative formats.

  I also wish my project could help fans residing outside of Japan to gain access to a wide variety of Japanese content. Nothing would make me happier than having those wishes come true.

Megumi Ogata Born on June 6. Known as Ogata, Aniki, Otoko-Hachidan

Ogata debuted as a voice actress in the role of Kurama in Yu Yu Hakusho: Ghost Files and quickly gained popularity among fans. She is known for her ability to voice a broad range of characters and also for her natural performances. Young boys and girls, older men and women, serious and comical genres, Ogata can easily handle them all.

  She possesses a vocal range extending beyond three octaves, delivering rich and full notes regardless of how high or how low they are. Ogata is also active as a singer who performs with a powerful and soulful voice. In recent years, she has released numerous motivational rock albums that offer listeners the passion and the gentle push forward they need. She continues to hold live performances not only in Japan but also in other countries as well. Ogata’s newest album “real/dummy” (High Edition) was ranked first during the first week of its release on the Hi-Res charts.

Notable roles: Yu Yu Hakusho: Ghost Files (as Kurama) Sailor Moon (as Haruka Tenou/Sailor Uranus) Neon Genesis Evangelion (as Shinji Ikari) Angel Beats! (as Ayato Naoi) Danganronpa: The Animation (as Makoto Naegi & Nagito Komaeda) and much more.

  About the Album

Animeg. 25th

An anime song cover album featuring selections from titles Megumi Ogata performed in and other relevant tracks.

Tentative tracklist

“Taiyou Ga Mata Kagayaku Toki” - from Yu Yu Hakusho: Ghost Files

“Moon Revenge” - from Sailor Moon R: The Movie

“Platinum” - from Cardcaptor Sakura

“Komm, süsser Tod” - from THE END OF EVANGELION

“Driver’s High” - from Great Teacher Onizuka

“Fukanzen Nenshou” - from Kamisama Dolls

“My Soul, Your Beats!” - from Angel Beats!

“???” - from ???

“Kamisama no Itazura” - from Tamayura: Hitotose

“Bye Bye Yesterday” - from Assassination Classroom Second Season

Additional Notes  ・Tracks will be skillfully arranged by a music arranger who is active at the forefront of the Japanese music industry. ・Tracks with lyrics written for a specific character will be performed in a voice that closely resembles that character (some exceptions apply). ・Tracks already covered in “Animeg.” (Megumi Ogata’s 15th debut anniversary anime song cover album) and in other projects will not be included in this album.

Tracks covered in “Animeg.” “A Cruel Angel's Thesis” “Kyou mo Dokoka de Devilman” “Yamato Yori Ai wo Komete” “Moonlight Densetsu” “GET WILD” “Omoide ga Ippai” “Yuzurenai Negai” “Unbalance na Kiss wo Shite” “Miyu Yachiyo” “Ao no Requiem” and more. (The track “GET WILD” in “Animeg.” was also featured in the album “GET WILD song mafia”)

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Scott Green is editor and reporter for anime and manga at geek entertainment site Ain't It Cool News. Follow him on Twitter at @aicnanime.

By: [email protected]