#i made this in five minutes and it shows
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Why isn’t Zelda allowed to have anything nice?
#i made this in five minutes and it shows#seriously tho they gave zelda two surrogate moms#and killed them both wtf is up with that#jen rambles#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#link#zelda#urbosa#queen sonia#totk spoilers#legend of zelda#loz spoilers
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dr s2 is really great so far
#ONLY 2 EPS IN NO SPOILERS PLEASEEEE#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#artsbotz#ninjago spoilers#so vaguely.#trying to do at least one doodle per ep. for fun#id like to rewatch the whole show at some point so it cld be fun to do that too for old eps#i probs wont post them all individually but im excited abt watching it again#me: heh... guess ill watch the new ninjago season. im kinda over it tho / me five minutes in: [passed out from excitement]#very fun . we WILL get the therapy arc. i can feel it coming#sorry abt the zane pic but that line rlly made me giggle bc i wasnt looking at the screen when it happened. the possibilities
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practicing drawing horses again w/ best girl
#star stable online#sso#concorde#trying to populate this blog before i kick it off </3#very likely no posts will even show up in the tag given i made this account like five minutes ago but i wanted to be able to follow people#and not have to use my main blog :(#despite having had star stable brainrot for over a decade i havent drawn horses since like six years ago#very happy my first attempt turned out pretty good!#my art
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What the Legos Want
MK: "I just- I don't want to let my friends down, you know? It's like, I want to help out in the store, do arts and crafts with Sandy, and party with M-m-m-Mei! Mei! But it's to hard, I'm just one guy!"
(1x02 Duplicatnation)
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MK: "Okay! I did bad, I just- I really wanted that peach, and I guess I got carried away."
(1x06 The Great Wall Race)
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Sun Wukong: "Take in everything! Choose what you want to do, and then do it! That is focus."
(1x07 Impossible Delivery)
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MK: "I just wanted to be good enough—like you."
(1x09 Macaque)
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MK: "It's like- I want to be strong, and I'm trying to be! But it- it's like Monkey King isn't giving me a chance! *sigh* What if- what if he knows he made a mistake—chose wrong, chose the wrong successor?"
(2x07 Shadow Play)
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Sandy: "Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength—took me a really long time to realize that. As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me."
(2x08 To Catch a Leaf)
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Sun Wukong: "You want me to leave it, and I want me to take it! Eh, it's toughy."
Ne Zha: "What!? Don't do this!
Sun Wukong: "I'm sorry—it's the only way!"
(3x01 On The Run)
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MK: “Why are you helping her—Lady Bone Demon—like, look, I get that you’re a bad guy, but you know that she wants to destroy everything, right?”
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Sandy: "I don't want to fight, but I can't let you hurt my friends!"
(3x04 The Winning Side)
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Sun Wukong: "What? You got what you wanted didn't you? Not gonna gloat? Monologue a little before scurrying off to your master? Go on! The Lady Bone Demon is waiting."
Macaque: "I couldn't care less about what the Lady Bone Demon wants!"
(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)
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Mei: "I can't! I don't want to hurt you—any of you! I'm sorry."
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Mei: "No! Stay back! I- I don't want to hurt you!"
(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)
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The Mayor: "All my lady ever desired was a world no longer plagued by pain—until the Monkey King and his companions got in the way. Fate however has gifted her a second chance!"
(3x13 Time to be Warriors) (Desired, wanted, same thing.)
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Lady Bone Demon: "Save your hero speech child—I've existed long enough to know when it's over.
MK: "You still think that the universe really wants anything, from any of us?"
Lady Bone Demon: "Don't you?"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Macaque: "Still the same Wukong, doing whatever he wants with no regard for others!"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Sun Wukong: "It's actually amazing how quickly you're mastering your powers—when I was your age-"
MK: "-You were fighting the celestial armies and generally swinging your big ol' tail around to get what you wanted?"
Sun Wukong: "Well I was going to say making regrettable life choices but yeah, thanks for laying out. I'm embarrassed to admit it but—you might have actually already done more for this world that I ever have!"
(4x01 Familiar Tales)
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Mei: “What’s the point of having power if you won’t use it? Don’t you have people you want to protect?”
(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robed Demon)
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Sandy: “But you were too WEAK to be who you truly are! I am a monster! That’s what the world wants me to be, so that’s what I’m gonna give ‘em!”
(4x06 Show Me the Monster)
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Curse MK: "Hey no no no- I get it man. You want to get back to our monster of the week adventures, get back to our simple missions with Mei, mastering all of Monkey King's powers and delivering noodles for pigsy. Right?"
MK: "Yeah...yeah actually that's exactly what I wanna-"
Curse MK: "But we can't! Not after all we've seen! All we know and all we don't? *sigh* Right friend?"
(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)
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Azure Lion: "No no—this isn't what I wanted! All you had to do was wait, after this was all over I was going to release Sun Wukong, help him see reason! That is now impossible—not after what you've done!"
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MK: “No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain. It’s like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!”
(4x08 The Brotherhood)
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Macaque: "Point is, it’s time to start making your own choices—something I wish I would have learned a lot sooner than I did. You don’t want to fight Azure because people might get hurt, you don’t want to not fight him because people might get hurt–so do something else! Only you get to decide who you are kiddo.”
(4x10 The Jade Emperor)
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Sun Wukong: "Ah, don't be like that! Eat some fruit, soak up the sun—that's why I've been training so hard!"
Macaque: "What, so you can be the strongest?"
Sun Wukong: "Nooo! Well, maybe a little bit—but that's not the point! It's so we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just living a lazy life, sitting in the sun, eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"
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Sun Wukong: "I just wanted to protect the people I cared about—to be strong enough. I lost sight of why I was doing any of it."
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Macaque: "You did it for yourself! You've become this like, obsessive demon! I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no, Wukong doesn't listen to anyone, he just does whatever he wants!"
(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)
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MK: "That's what you were pretending to be right? To be my friend? To care about me? When really you were just using me to get what you wanted! To turn me against my own mentor! Put your hand in the monkey cage, and expect to get bit son!"
(4x13 Rip and Tear)
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Sun Wukong: "Azure just stop, okay? You've won—you're going to destroy us just like you wanted! Us an the entire universe."
Azure Lion: "Huh? No. This is not what I wanted! I can still fix this, it's- it's the whole reason I'm here at all!"
Sun Wukong: "Wait, how are you here!?"
Azure Lion: "What? What kind of a question is that you know exactly how I'm-"
Sun Wukong: "-No! Here and now! I put you in the underworld myself. How'd you get out, how'd you get the scroll? I know for sure you didn't steal it—you couldn't have! Azure, who gave you that scroll? Because whoever it was they must have known this would happen, wanted this to happen! And they used you to do it."
Azure Lion: "I just wanted to make the world a better place!"
MK: "You still can—you're the only one who can."
(4x14 Better Than We Found It)
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Welcome viewers, to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen! It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior, and how those who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear whether they want to or not.
#it ain't much cataloging every thematically relevant instance of the word want in the lego show- but it's honest work#on god I'm sure I'm missing some examples#It feels wrong that there isn't anything from ROTSQ#But I don't feel like looking for more#It's been a while since I've made a stupidly long parallels post. Feels right feels good#So. Anyways my dream of lmk going the ''You are going to hurt the people you care about and they are going to hurt you'' route#and Mk having to accept that is SO fucking real it's going to happen#I love you thematically banger lego show. I love you#Like this literally starts in 1x02. MK wanting one thing but causing another#I need fluffypotatey's ''Can you two stop being parallels for FIVE MINUTES!'' meme about SWK and MK#it's like. So true#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk theme: hurt#lmk s4 you are literally everything to me#lmk SWK#lmk MK#lmk Macaque#lmk Azure LIon#lmk theme: what you want
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taylor swift wrote foolish one for evan buckley guys trust me she told me herself
#911#911 show#911 abc#911 fox#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#yes i just made this joke about another ship but foolish one is five minutes that’s a lot of time to think#and by think i mean my brain cells moved one nanometer to recycle this dumb joke
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he’s very excited for season 2
#camp cretaceous#jwcc#darius bowman#prehistoric planet#kenji has tried to pry him away from the tv but was unsuccessful#one of my worst drawing but i feel like it accurately reflects how attached darius would be to this show#made this in like five minutes whoops
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Googled Jaskier, and wow! Congrats on the girlfriend, named *checks notes* PRINCE Radovid of Redania!
anyways I died laughing good job google
#not art#witcher#the witcher#the witcher season 3#jaskier#quite literally caught me off guard#also yes I do watch the Witcher#do I know a single thing that is happening??? no#I watch it with my mom#and every five minutes I’m like ‘who is that????’#and she informs me it’s *insert villainous character who is important but from like two seasons ago*#it’s a good show I’d just need to rewatch the first two seasons lmao#also I’m mostly in it for the fanfic tbh#it’s all god tier#alas I have never made good fanart for it lol
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every time i go on twitter i’m like what the hell and then i close the app
#i’m just argdjdjx why are we patting ourselves on the back for this !!#a certain kind of love and adoration ???#i get what they mean. i do.#but everyone has their quirks in xiv and i’ve seen a lot worse said about other races#like i don’t think this is something to feel brave about#and lowkey sucks to be like. yall play elezen DESPITE how weird and awful ppl think they are#apparently.#i think this is just for engagement#so people will show off their elezen wols#but it made me mad dkdjdkd#i will delete this post in five minutes when i get over it#ffxiv
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SERIES VS. COUPLE
Do your favorite BL couples match your favorite BL series?
I feel like this must be a phenomenon, so I want to see what other people's lists look like. \:D/
These are mine. I'm very proud.
Voila:
TOP 3 SERIES: Be My Favorite, SOTUS, Until We Meet Again
TOP 3 COUPLES: WinTeam, KongArt, KawiPi
Because, like, we judge series and character based on different criteria, right?
Be My Favorite shot to the top of my list by episode eight last year because the writing was immaculate (Waa took extra time to really hone the script, and it shows!), the directing is phenomenal (the behind-the-scenes footage and interviews show how much influence Waa had in bringing out the best in everyone), the premise is right up my alley (subjective, but y'know, favorites lists are subjective by nature), etc. etc. etc. It's just all-around an incredibly well-crafted show, so it's sitting pretty cozy up there at the top.
But!
When I think about couples, WinTeam and KongArt are firmly first and second.
WinTeam have been my favorite BL couple from Day ONE, and no one's even remotely challenged them since even though Between Us is somewhere around #5 or #6 on my list (depending on how much of the series I choose to selectively forget).
And KongArt? We saw them grow from age 19/20 to, like, 26/27? (I haven't math'd the years in a while, but the Our Skyy episode is definitely set during their late twenties.) Experiencing that much development for a BL couple is rare, and their relationship is portayed so beautifully.
So, y'know, both lists are completely subjective and don't always have anything to do with quality or whatever. WinTeam are my favorite couple because Win's my favorite character archetype and Team is a sassy traumatized gremlin, and Be My Favorite is my favorite series because holy shit I love gay time travel and it's the only series I've seen that's treated leitmotifs seriously.
SO TELL ME YOURS. \:D/
#i think it's a fun phenomenon and i'm curious what other people's lists look like#also just for clarity: i made this in the spirit of fun fandom nonsense#i also posted this to twitter but i'm not sure if people will take it in good faith or#y'know#fight about it#if they do i'll delete it there#the antagonism across all online spaces is widespread and really exhausting but i'm trying to counter it with positivity#i will spongebob my way through your anger#with my silly little canva graphics and my carefully selected screenshots from my little gay hallmark shows#thai bl#bl series#be my favorite#sotus the series#until we meet again#winteam#kongart#kongarthit#kongpob x arthit#kawi x pisaeng#kawipi#this was on twitter for five minutes before someone managed to get antagonistic about it#so it now lives exclusively here
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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fellas that last ted lasso episode. hmm.
listen i'll be real no matter what im gonna be out here gushing abt trent crimm cause he's my special little guy and im obsessed with him, but considering the Literal Paragraphs ive been writing abt all the shit i LIKED about the show, i didn't know how else to process these Less Good emotions than by blurting it all out over like two hours (instead of doing the dishes, lmao).
tldr; s3e2 was such an emotional high point for me, since i really felt like it had something concrete + specific to say about physical violence + social/emotional violence, and how they're BOTH highly valued as masculine ideals. but the episodes since then...
it kind of feels like im watching the result of a long and bloody fight between different writers? writers who, apparently, wanted Very different things from this last season, so now we're getting this. bizarro world mish-mash of two hypothetical shows, where tone + content + themes vary WILDLY and inconsistently from episode to episode - and even scene to scene!
[cw: discussions of sexism + racism, in a doylist context, also s3e5 spoilers]
specifically, i feel really disappointed and hurt that they went that direction with shandy's arc. i understand that we're only half way through the season, and obviously anything could happen between now and then but... really? like, is there some kind of budgeting issue here? we can't afford for there to be more than three (complex, not sexy lamps) women in any given episode? is that why the second jack appears, barbara loses any depth (what happened to that lovely moment of connection with the snow globes????????), and THEN the second SHANDY goes off her head it's. jack time? apparently???? like. this would feel a lot better as a viewer if at this point the show hadn't PRIMED me for jack doing something insanely stupid + cruel for no reason except 'haha Keeley Bad At Her Job'.
like. the first thing we see of shandy fine is her pride in keeley, and genuine appreciation of her hard work and skill. she's CLEARLY not stupid, otherwise why would the rest of her introductory scene be her helping keeley out with filmmaking advice (the extras thing) AND random, life experience shit (knowing how to deal with goat shit)?? she knows her way around a set, and she doesn't make any of the footballers feel judged, even when she's clearly thrown by the clips they're providing her.
so why in the space of like, barely a few weeks, does ALL of that get thrown out the window? 'condoms for balls'??? why are we supposed to just take for granted that she's stupid + overly ambitious (other than the Fucking Obvious!) when the show put NO effort into actually setting that up???? like, if her first scene was her monstrously fucking UP the shoot for keeley, and keeley hired her on pure sympathy then like. sure. whatever. no room for bleeding hearts in business. but that ALSO sucks as a story line for ted lasso, a show that (according to its OWN press releases!) is supposed to be about kindness and human connection and breaking cycles!
it just. it hurts? in a way where its like, i don't believe even a little bit that this was what the writers were aiming for with those scenes, and it frightens me that there could be such a wide gulf between intent and result. especially when bonding about The Shandy Incident is what got keeley and jack together (which i am trying... So hard to feel positive about, because explicitly confirming keeley's bisexuality is amazing, least of all bc it makes her jokes with rebecca feel a lot less mean-spirited on the writers' parts, retroactively)... like how am i supposed to be enjoying their moments together when i feel like the show's whole premise has been betrayed???
and really? the one moment nate gets to feel good in this WHOLE season, it's bc the server at the restaurant who previously could not care if he dropped dead right in front of him showed him some affection + validation?????
like, sure, i GUESS im happy that this random excuse for an arc has lead to a slightly more sympathetic female character existing at least in the PERIPHERY of the show's main storyline, except no im fucking not? i don't care about this fucking restaurant, and even though ive been DESPERATELY trying not to hate jade (even though the writers themselves can't seem to decide if she's Literally Racist or just a depressed service worker) NATE shouldn't care about jade! the ONLY way i can see this being an actually interesting arc for nathan is if its another exploration of his inability to leave behind the things + people that have hurt him, combined with years of conditioning where he's never allowed to express being annoyed/upset at anyone (which richmond!!! contributed to!!!!!! 'if you're mad, count to ten. if that doesn't work, count again'??? cool speedrun tips for resentment ted!). like, an arc where we see that distance away from richmond hasn't helped nate as much as it's removed some of the worst triggers, so a taste of athens ends up in the same awful pit of resentment + loathing as ted did. which nate clearly hates! he doesn't LIKE being that person! he apologised to a PAINTED DOLL of ted!!!! but when he doesn't have the framework or tools or SUPPORT to do anything else...
like. where is his team? obviously im not expecting the show to start being about a bunch of football players that AREN'T from richmond but? even just a small moment of appreciation? or hell! maybe they hate him! if we could see LITERALLY ANYTHING abt the sport which nathan has dedicated his life to, and how his Actual Coaching style is positively or negatively impacted by the lessons he learned at richmond? this is a show ABOUT football!!!!!
i just. a taste of athens? again? a-fucking-gain?????
and honestly, the worst part is that i REALLY liked the little monologue that nate got to give about how important the restaurant was to him! as much as it showed that nate is still just as passionate + earnestly defensive of the things he loves, it ALSO shows that he 1. spends that energy explaining his passion to people who don't deserve it/won't care, and 2. gets attached to things that really fucking hurt him! and like. i am on my hands and KNEES for that to be the 'point' of this arc but at this point i feel like that's me being naive! but if fucking JADE from fucking ATHENS is the civilising white gf who FINALLY talks nate down from him ~ ignorant, vengeful crusade ~ against the absolute ~ matyrs ~ of goodness at afc richmond, i just. like. what are we even DOING here gang?
i don't know. it hurts that sam's gone from being an almost principal character in s2 to only getting passing lines in s3. it hurts that rebecca's off in her own world, talking to strangers, having life-changing revelations on her own, surrounded by sets we're never going to see again, where every scene she DOES get to spend w one of the richmond members feels hasty and rushed, like the episode wants to get a few characters obligatory appearances out of the way asap. it hurts that all the chekov's guns around zava's arc (jamie's resentment, ted's lack of guidance, dani being 'demoted' + colin being benched) were apparently all just blanks, to be hastily plastered over with one big long speech about... ted wanting everyone to have higher self esteem, or something?
and listen, more the fool me if another episode comes out next week that i completely adore, and i spend like five days singing its praises. im mostly writing this so i can go INTO the next ep without feeling resentful + upset! i'll be STOKED if i was wrong and all of those little details ARE actually important, and these arcs have more to them than this! but for now im just sad and annoyed :(
#ted lasso spoilers#ted lasso critical#<- this tag has like five posts in it total so i sincerely doubt anyone here needs it but i also Definitely don't want it showing up in the#main tag so??? fr pls lmk if anyone needs a specific tag for this#also. i swear im gonna stop malding and go to bed any minute now but#would rlly love if we got more than one episode dedicated to keeley doing her job. would love if we got more than one episode of ANY of#these characters doing their jobs?? hey what the fuck it just hit me there's been no training scenes since ep 1#(not counting jamie + roy since that's JUST jamie and roy - not all the coaches and not all the team)#like . remember how that's how ted won over the players to begin with? his coaching style? and how energetic + involved + earnest he was?#the way he ran laps WITH the team and then made a joke out of how they all beat him?#its just. lots of telling and not showing this season which im really hoping changes soon
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#aroace memes#aromantic memes#asexual memes#no offense to writers#but i can't watch a show made for my actual age group without there being a sex or kissing scene every five minutes#and people wonder why kids shows are so popular for adults and older teens#this is stupid#ace rants
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Having stayed up past my bedtime to finish Episode 7 of Twenty Five- Twenty One I would liked to take a moment to say:
Fuck you@lurkingshan for recommending this stupid fucking fencing show that keeps making me super fucking emotional in a vicious, endless cycle! How dare you make me sob in my living room at one am over a fucking referee call! I thought we were friends, how could you do this to me?!?! Do you harbor any guilt whatsoever knowing that I cried through all three of the episodes that I watched today!!
^Look at my beloved girl, look at her sobbing in the street. This is me, on my couch, right now. Look at what you have done to me!
Anyway, it may not be a BL but I do think everyone should watch Twenty Five Twenty One it is fantastic so far and it making my heart so full.
#this show is so good#the fencing is legitimate as well which makes me all the more emo#because on top of the actual emotions the show drags you through#I have done a bit of sword fighting in my day and those bout moments- the really impressive touches; the blade breaking; the contested call#i feel those so hard you don't even know#anyway this show makes me cry so much#which of course means everyone should watch it#shout out to shan for the recommendation#she was (once again and as always) right about this show#twenty five twenty one#twenty-five twenty-one#2521#25 21#Full disclosure I changed my tumblr profile picture to Hee-do 15-30 minutes in to Episode 1 because I knew I was gonna fall in love with he#and I was so incredibly correct#no regrets no hesitation i made the right call with that pfp
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LAUDNA NO!!
I mean I respect you leaning into these darker aspects of yourself but we do NOT NEED TO DEAL WITH DELILAH (AGAIN) AT THIS EXACT MOMENT.
WE GOT MOON SHIT TO DEAL WITH WE AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THE CONTINUING BULLSHIT SHENANIGANS OF ONE DELILAH BRIARWOOD.
#critical role#cr spoilers#HEY REMEMBER WHEN YOUR FORM OF DREAD WAS A SPOOKY TREE#AND NOT YOU SLOWLY TURNING INTO AN INFAMOUSLY UNKILLABE NECROMANCY ARCHMAGE OF ANTIQUITY#THAT WAS FUN WASN'T IT? WANNA GO BACK TO THAT?#I respect the character choices being made and what went down with bor'dor having long term consequences#but also GOD DAMMIT DELILAH CAN YOU JUST STAY DEAD AND GONE#FOR FIVE MINUTES??#Christ Sylas is probably waiting in hell for you to show up and you're just up there doing shit#you broke the world for him but you just ditched him to do all of this shit? FOR SHAME.#(laudna hon I'm sorry you have to deal with this again)
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Would any of the boys enjoy medical/hospital dramas or would they start nitpicking the shows?
I think they’d all just nitpick it. I can’t really see any of them getting into the fake drama, which would be the only appeal. They do use medical shows for fun sometimes though. Warriors had a drinking game where every time they saw a medical error they’d take a drink…. They were all trashed by the end of the second episode. Twilight sword to never do that again.
#you ask skye answers#lovely anon#lu in healthcare#There was this one show I can’t remember what it was called#but within like the first five minutes it showed someone’s BP with a higher diastolic than systolic#and a MAP that made no sense#And I was immediately like you have GOT to be kidding me#now I want to do a funny thing where y’all send medical show clips and the boys judge them 🤣
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Of Reality and Late Night Confessions (I)
Kaya fell first, Suna fell harder.
Author note: The third installment in the blurry AU where Kaya and Suna actually get closer and fall in love.
I initially envisioned this as a one-shot, then as a two chapter story, but it ended up having three chapters.
AO3 link here.
Suna feels like something has shifted between her and Kaya the morning after the conversation about his mother.
Maybe it's just wishful thinking on her side; it wouldn't be the first time, after all. She's notoriously bad at reading people and even more bad at telling apart a sweet lie from the truth.
She can't even explain what is the change. It hadn't been the first time when they had kissed without actually having sex; he would ask for a kiss from her almost every night, it was something he liked to do, and she didn't really mind (far from it even). It hadn't been the first time where he had fallen asleep with his head on her chest either; it had happened once before, and she had liked it.
But there had been something in his eyes, in the way he held her, in the smile he gave her when he woke up in the morning, that made her heart beat faster and brought impossible warmth to her cheeks.
She spends the entire day in the room. It's ridiculous, really, but she can't bring herself to meet the others, not when all she wants is to see Kaya again, to make sure that she's not imagining things. She doesn't come out for dinner either; instead, she asks for a snack to be delivered to their room early in the afternoon, some fruits that she barely touches, texts Kaya that she won't appear at dinner and not to worry, and takes a warm shower, in the hopes that this will restore her calm somewhat.
She hasn't brought anything with her in the bathroom except a pair of clean underwear, so when she finishes her shower, she puts on the big towel she has used to dry herself, and goes out.
It's still early, Kaya is not back yet, and her eyes linger for a while on the clothes he has worn the previous night, neatly folded near the bed. Before she can even fully realise what she's doing, she lets the towel slip, grabs his t-shirt and puts it on. It still smells like him.
What in the world am I doing? she immediately asks herself, shaking her head and frowning at herself in the mirror. If someone were to see her right now...
But there's no one here, it's her bedroom (it was hers first, really, before he moved in), and what if she wants to try on his t-shirt? She's his wife, surely he would have no objections. He might even like it, she thinks, heart beating wildly, cheeks burning, before shaking her head again. She's really getting ahead of herself.
Revenge, revenge, Suna, remember his revenge plans. He married her for revenge and also to protect her, and he really doesn't love her. Sure, he might not pity her, she understood this the previous night, but that does not mean he has romantic feelings towards her.
She should have asked him, but she had been so caught up in the moment, first because of him finally confiding in her, then because of...
Because of her own decision to stay by his side, she realises, sitting on the bed, suddenly petrified. Because there was a moment when she decided to hell with everything, all that matters is him, and another moment in which his words sounded like love in her ears, but it wasn't him who changed.
It is her who has changed.
She actually really likes her husband.
No, to hell with it. She's probably well on her way to fall in love with him for real.
And what in the world will she do if he does not reciprocate?
Suddenly unwilling to think of anything else, she lets herself fall on the bed and covers herself with the duvet from head to toe, closing her eyes tightly and trying her best to empty her mind.
That's a problem for future her. Current Suna is simply not willing to deal with this.
*
It's already evening when she opens her eyes again, and the noise of water running in the bathroom, then suddenly stopping, is her clue that Kaya is back.
It takes her several seconds to fully wake up, and when she does, the first thing she feels is utter dread. She has fallen asleep wearing his t-shirt, and he'll probably be back in the room any second now. No use to even attempt to change her clothes.
As if on cue, the bathroom door opens, and he emerges in the room, wearing only his pyjama bottoms, and wiping off his hair with the same towel she has used earlier. She's really trying not to think about what this might or might not mean.
When he sees her peaking at him from behind the duvet, his entire expression softens, and the corners of his mouth rise up in a smile.
"Suna, you're finally awake. I was a bit worried when you didn't respond to my message, but when I came back, I saw you were asleep, and didn't want to bother you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, uh, don't worry, I just took a nap," she responds, already hating herself for that "uh", and wondering how in the world will she ever be able to act normally around him again.
If he finds her behaviour strange, he does not comment on it. Instead, he folds the towel, setting it aside, and comes to sit on the bed, right next to her. Too close, too close, she thinks, trying to desperately pretend that she does not notice he's essentially half naked.
"Have you seen the t-shirt I wore yesterday, by the way?" he asks, and she can tell he has no clue of what she did (yet), but that doesn't stop her from blushing.
"Uh, yeah, I saw it," she manages, and he raises an eyebrow at her, evidently perplexed, even more so when she fails to elaborate.
"Are you sure you're feeling well? You're acting really weird."
Suna hides her face in her hands. Heavens, this is excruciating.
"Imwearingit", she manages to mumble, and it sounds like gibberish even to her own ears.
"Sorry?"
She kicks the duvet away in one swift motion, then raises her head, not even attempting to control her burning face any longer.
"I. Am. Wearing. It," she clarifies, and stares at him as if she would challenge him for it.
Kaya blinks once, twice, and shakes his head slightly, then another smile spreads on his face.
"Well, it suits you better than I imagined," he says. "Shows off those beautiful legs of yours quite well."
"Don't make fun of me."
He laughs, shaking his head again, then gets even closer and whispers, looking straight in her eyes:
"If you think I'm making fun of you, I'm obviously doing something wrong."
"Kaya..."
"You think I don't notice things? You know me quite well by now," he continues, a hand casually caressing one of her bare legs. "I'm noticing your blue clothes, and your short skirts, and the way you act when we're alone together. How possessive you are. And now you're even stealing my clothes. Do you want to hear a secret?"
He pauses, biting his lower lip, and looks at her with the same expression that became so familiar to her - like she's worth to be known.
"I like it," he says.
She kisses him.
It's pure impulse. It's not exactly how she envisioned the conversation. She needed to talk to him, to understand what all of this means for her, for him, for them both. But all of it felt suddenly too much; his proximity, his smell, the way he was looking at her, all of it making her feel like her heart was going to burst at any given moment.
She feels almost dizzy by the end, when they finally stop to breathe again. She feels his palm up on her leg, his fingers touching the hem of her t-shirt (his t-shirt, actually, but who can even tell at this point where she ends and he begins?) and then she hears him:
"Do you want to?"
"Yes," she says, pulling him towards her.
#Yalı Çapkını#Yali Capkini#Kaya Sönmez#Suna Şanlı#Kaya Sonmez#Suna Sanli#KaySun#fan fiction#Of Reality and Late Night Confessions#writing#made by me#I am starting to get really annoyed with the way we are constantly getting clowned in trailers and otherwise#it's not worth it to be so invested for five minutes of screen time at best#not to mention all the drama and misogyny so characteristic of Turkish shows and fandoms
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