#i knew this was homoerotic but now i'm seeing the details
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Wild and impetuous. I expected more of the boy who bested my lord commander. Yet I see why my master covets you so. The power within you, Mythos. The potential.
#ffxviedit#ffedit#clive rosfield#barnabas tharmr#barnaclive#if they have another ship name pls lmk!#i knew this was homoerotic but now i'm seeing the details#like in the third gif with the way barnabas smirks at clive#he loves toying with him and seeing him give his all only to be bested#and you can tell Barnabas *wants* to be outmatched by Clive#he wants Clive to prove his strength and his supremacy#this is' so fuckn gay#and i'm v attracted to the way that barnabas just shoves clive with his shoulder and it's so forceful#also the details of how bloodstained and gritty clive is vs. how pristine and clean barnabas is#& how barnabas fights with one arm behind his back#anyway ok#i stayed up entirely too long making this last night#it was worth it but omg i underestimated how much time i would sink into this#mine
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(over)analyzing drea & eleanor's relationship
okay so this movie has made me her bitch and I've been obssesing over it since I first watched it so I decided to give in and rewatch it only to analyze every single homoerotic interaction between these two gorgeous teen psychos bc we all agree we were robbed of one of the most complicated, chaotic and promising sapphic ships right???
so first of all. eleanor's introduction. the whole "my life was about to change and it all started with her" thing and then the look
@lovelybuckley said that 80% of the time eleanor looked at drea she was madly in love and honestly??? so true bestie. I mean just look at her. the first time they reunite in years and this is the look eleanor gives her so-called archenemy? you see that shit?? she looks so proud of her mean gf I can't
now let me prove one of my favorite theories about them. eleanor having a crush on drea when they were kids and drea outing her bc of internalized homophobia. now let's dissect together this word-per-word quote of eleanor:
"I know what it's like to get screwed over by someone you thought you could trust."
right off the bat we learn they have history. you don't develop enough trust to come out to someone who happens to be a mere stranger. so we know they got pretty close at day camp
"When I was thirteen, uh, I went to day camp with this girl and she existed in this like... untouchable plane. She glowed."
hello??? she glowed???? baby eleanor was probably head over heels, change my mind. sure, drea was probably a reckoning force since childhood but being thirteen at day camp, all sweaty and still developing is not exactly anybody's peak but here she says drea glowed??? she was down bad, massive crush I'm telling you
"I pretty much already knew that I liked girls but I hadn't told anyone yet."
now I want you to focus on the first half of this sentence. I pretty much already knew that I liked girls. it's giving 'she wasn't the very first girl I liked' & 'I could tell I liked her back then bc I already knew I liked girls'. crush confirmed. you're welcome loves
"But this girl, I guess I thought that if she liked me, it would validate my entire existence or something, and I finally talked to her and... it was great. Like, she made me feel so free and confident and safe"
DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?? 😭 actually, nvm I love talking abt them. I talked to her and it was... great. ugh my heart. baby eleanor gathering the courage to talk to her crush and they actually hitting it off? my girl was having the time of her life I'm telling you.
okay now I'm breaking my own heart bc baby eleanor feeling free and confident and safe around drea only makes the outing hurt more. anyways keep up babes bc this too has important details. so they get along and they spend idk how much time together for them to create such a strong bond so that eleanor would come out to drea.
I swear the writers were cowards and my girl queen pussy boss drea has always been a little fruity, the receipts are right there in the movie. so following up w them becoming so close and eleanor crushing hard on her, drea outing her was 1000% internalized homophobia. take in mind that drea has always been trying to fit in the crowd and make herself into this perfect, good enough version that the popular, rich kids would accept into their circle.
it's not surprising that, were she to reciprocate eleanor's feelings without realizing it (which I'm sure she did), along with eleanor's coming out had her going through some intense realizations that as a pre pubescent trying to fit in she couldn't handle for the time being and thus reacting the way she did.
so there you have it. eleanor did have a crush on drea and then became obssesed with her to the point of creating this evil revenge master plan and drea has always been fruity and had feelings for eleanor too. this is canon babes, it's all in the subtext, look it up.
#part 1/???#in this essay i will#just me and my little silly hyperfixations#we were robbed#and i will do them justice#do it for the revenge mommies#i will die on this hill#gay shit#character study#long reads#drea x eleanor#eleanor levatan#drea torres#do revenge#do revenge netflix
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Still thinking about writing the sequel to my last fic but now I'm getting irate with ACD for all the canonical contradictions again
(How can Watson and the police not know who Moran is in The Empty House when they knew who he was in the late 1880s?
And if they did all know who Moran was in the 1890s then why did none of them seem to have any suspicion of him even when an acquaintance of his was 'mysteriously' shot dead? That would tend to suggest Moran was above suspicion because... he didn't actually do it?
And Watson never refers to the actual trial of Moran, he never states the actual motive for Adair's murder, Moran is specifically stated to be alive many years later. If Moran killed Adair he should be dead within weeks probably given the speed of trials then, and Watson should have some better idea what the motive for the murder was by the time he writes the story. But he still doesn't seem to know what the motive was and Moran is alive.
I mean... were we really, genuinely supposed to infer from this that there was a real possibility that Moran didn't do it? Because there seems to be more evidence that he didn't than that he actually did (also no witnesses and the physical evidence is all completely circumstantial or two badly mangled bullets which couldn't possibly have been compared properly due to the damage and also when forensics was in its infancy then, also no motive even suggested except some petty reason that doesn't sound at all like a reason someone like Moran would murder a man over. Some sort of lover's tiff between him and Adair or Adair being infatuated with Moran and Moran not being interested and having to take extreme measures to fend him off is still far more believable than 'Adair found out he was cheating and this threatened the income he got from cheating at cards' because, firstly how much money was he really going to be making from cheating at a few card games, he wasn't even seemingly playing for huge amounts anyway and secondly, Moran was rich, he had loads of money, what's he supposed to have done with that? The motive suggested is flimsy as hell. Also let's not forget that Adair had broken off his engagement not that long before he died too).
Were we supposed to suspect even that someone else might have organised the murder instead using one of their other contacts? Someone like Moriarty? I know a lot of stuff was just because ACD simply did not care but did he ever have it in mind that Moriarty had survived because it definitely feels like at the very least he was trying to keep his options open with him, the same as he probably was with never actually showing Holmes's death - everything is too vague, nothing is ever confirmed, a lot of details just do not make sense and Watson never sees anything that would confirm to him never mind to us the readers that Moriarty was dead, or that Moran was actually guilty of Adair's murder.
And whatever ACD thought, Watson has definitely lied to the readers somewhere - the same as with Moriarty, he cannot have both known about Moran and not known about Moran at the same time. So why has he lied, what is he hiding?
(He probably did know Moran even before Holmes knew anything about him - their army careers overlapped, they very likely came back to England at the same time maybe on the same ship. Watson, did you really fuck Moran in Afghanistan? Or on the ship. Is that what you're trying to hide?)
And then we get back to the 'why does Holmes specifically not want Moran charged with attempting to murder him even when the evidence of Moran's guilt of Adair's murder is so flimsy surely he'd want to throw everything possible at him?' thing. This also seems to tend to suggest maybe Holmes knew Moran wasn't actually trying to murder him then he was just making a point that he could do so? And what is up with the weirdly homoerotic antagonism between Holmes and Moran anyway?)
The relationships between these four characters - Holmes, Watson, Moriarty, Moran - are so much more complicated than it seems and there has to be a lot more going on there than Watson (or Holmes via Watson) ever lets on. I mean it's fascinating for the possibilities it raises but it is infuriating, all these plot holes and contradictions and just that... so little is ever actually shown to us. Also that so few people ever seem actually interested in exploring any of this, or what really went on between Moran and Adair either. So much gets taken at face value even when it actively contradicts something else but there is so much more to unpick there.)
#Sebastian Moran#Sherlock Holmes#Dr John Watson#James Moriarty#Ronald Adair#Sherlock Holmes canon#Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
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ohhhhh my god. ohhhh my god. nocturnality. i think i already jumpscared u abt it so let me dive right in. apologies for the length I may have also gotten a bit Not Normal abt this play to the point I needed a whole day to write this haha... will just go in chronological order (mostly) of how i experienced it bc i think that's the easiest way to represent my thoughts!! first off. the beginning scene where the relatives are talking abt who’s going to take in azuma made me think like ah. wow. he and sakuya… they would mesh. learning that he had an older brother rly took me out tho. that’s tough. i loved that the scene in mankai also opened with him being able to say like… welcome home to people! because it is home, this place. also love how tsumugi like. specifically says that casting tasuku as a co-lead is like… a good support. coming right off of the taichi and tasuku halloween event its so nice bc its like. i feel like a lot of tasukus roles have been abt playing that support and how like, being able to do that is something he treasures? thought it was cute that masumi dropped off the script this time like. when he was like "lol I stole the script from tsuzuru while he wasn’t looking… just kidding. he’s dead as usual so I just wanted to drop it off" i genuinely was like. omg masumi... ur cracking jokes now? good kid. as always the moment one character goes "..." abt smthing (azuma abt the "good night, and sweet dreams" line it always Makes You Think). i was wondering if he was thinking abt his own sleeplessness. or how his like. sleeping profession probably had him say things like that but it was empty. anyways i have more to say on that... around here was where i took a pause to actually. watch nocturnality the play. as you may have already gathered... I enjoyed the play. however!!! for the longest time the ONLY thing i knew abt it was the cover poster. i was convinced both kota and reo were vampires and kota was just like, keeping it secret (you know like a gay metaphor or smthing lol) but ah. that was not the case. I have surveyed my friends though and literally every single one was in agreement abt it being abt homoerotic vampires. one person suggested kota would be a werewolf but thats it.
anyways. nocturnality the play. had to rewind the part where kota was like “you’d be the ultimate wife” and reo's very normal response was “I’ve lived a pretty long life, but I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s wife before” it rly was like. wow this is so trope-y, like, picking up a stranger from the street who cooks well and you cohabitate before realizing that you are in love etc. also i loved like. theres a lot of subtle things going on here that I feel like don't quite have the time to get expanded upon? like, the vampire hq. theyre fine in daylight. lovely details like how kota's from the countryside and probably a little lonely, how hes moved by reo saying he doesn't have anywhere to go, or the way that it seems to be implied that like the First time kota tells reo he's been having nightmares is because he sees reo covered in blood, which is like. distressing for him and he's worried. very in line with winter's non-confrontation. the subtle distinctions of kota calling reo a friend while others call him a stranger or a freeloader, the way at the end nonomiya is like oh the freeloader finally left and kota is like "he left me behind"... the way that franz says "I'm the same as him" about reo and that kota ISN'T the same as reo... the way their duet song clarifies that like, they ARE the same, though, in like. mirrors of loneliness. the way kota is dueting all those blood-drinking lines in that song still. i think the duet song (which is VERY good) does a greattt job of expanding upon a lot of what the play has to cut for time, and it rly hones in on those like. feelings. the freaking "If I hated you any more than I do, I would have long taken everything from you" line... i'm rambling. yeah i wish we could have seen more of how close kota and reo were in the middle period of him being like. unwell and having nightmares. hence my jumpscare.
back to the event story... it is at this point i have to pause and say i was actually worried about being overhyped about nocturnality. i love everyone in a3 but azuma def faded in the background a bit for me during winters 1st ep...? and I know like, he's one of your favs. i think part of it rly comes down to that like, winter estbalishes two very set dynamics with tsumugi and tasuku and homare and hisoka so azuma is kind of like. the odd one out? and hes got a room of his own, too... I feel like we didn't really get Much of him but that's also part of his character bc he's like, quite guarded. very itaru-ish vibes to me. anyways i say all this because i was like in tears by ch 4 of the event story lmao. there's a not-insignificant chance i was projecting for all of this but i really liked this event story because it wasn't necessarily... obvious? like, the main line of it was pretty clear but there's alllllll these little subtle details, half of which don't get addressed (which makes sense! its in character!) and it made me think abt azuma as a character a lot. this ask is going to be so long omg.
i was so pleasantly surprised when the texting layout popped up. love how tasuku invites him out for a drive like this time and the next time. he just goes with one thing. and i love how its bc like. he heard azuma say he liked the ocean or smthing so hes like. oh well why dont we go there all the time. when azuma asks abt how tasuku must've had a lot of choices post-leaving godza, I thought it was very interesting that he asks "did you come here for tsumugi?" and like... hm. I think its very telling. because azuma's reason, which he deflects in answering at this time, is that he's here because mankai is a place that feels like home and he loves being around the winter troupe. so i think hes instinctively looking for some justification of that feeling, but I think it's also like. i think azuma just wants that kind of thing for himself. someone going out of their way for you. like the way he keeps assuring tasuku that the play will be fine because like of course that's the concern and it's not like it's HIM that could be someone people would concern themselves with, right? ...it made me sad.
I think like, azuma's also so competent at deflecting that sort of yearning from himself, to the point that just looking at him, you wouldn't ever think he's lonely. the game describes azuma as sensual and mysterious, something which he's called often, and I think that description really hits the mark. like azuma carries this ethereal feeling because I think he deliberately acts like a person who could float and live anywhere. you'll never know a thing about him. he could be anyone, because he's not tied to anyone. but i also think he like. desperately wants to be tied down. he doesn't want to run away... he wants to be able to believe that he can capture a sense of belonging. and for sensual like i think azuma is obviously like. very beautiful etc but the i think its a very good choice that out of everyone else in a3, he's kind of the most explicitly touch-starved? what with his whole cuddling/sleeping with others occupations. like it's such a good dynamic. here's someone who is transcendental that wants, probably desperately more than anything, to be tied down by a home and held. i think he's also old enough that he's like, aware of it. this is verging on projection but like it’s really so hard because fundamentally it’s embarrassing! it’s embarrassing to want and desire so openly, to be around other people, especially when you're old enough to be so aware that people are not forever...
ah unrelated but i thought it was very interesting that homare's response to whether he liked acting was like. oh well liking is not really what i care about--it feels meaningful to me! such an in-character outlook, i felt. this was also very itaru-ish of azuma to do, I felt--feeling guilty that his reason for acting wasnt enough. i want so badly for act 2 to come along just so he gets a roommate honestly. like idk. azuma gets to go to practice every day and like see the way tasuku and tsumugi seem to know each other inside and out and see the weird marshmallow deals homare and hisoka have going on and its not that hes Alone or that winter as a whole is Not Close but i do wonder sometimes if hes like oh. i wish i had... more. but winter isn't really blunt about that kind of thing.
the scene where azuma says I’m home at his apartment but no one responds... the way it mirrors the beginning of the event. the way he explcitly was like i should visit my apartment again to get in touch with being as desperately lonely as reo is. the way he is so self-aware of his loneliness but unable to confront it... like it makes me sad. i liked how this event made a not eof how much more direct summer is in comparison lol... theyre really different! the way tasuku invites him out for a drive again and azumas like oh im not around. where i am is a secret. like what a neat way of being like... playful and not revealing anything about yourself bc vulnerability is so terrifying. but the way tasuku comes to the train station to walk with him and says welcome back to him. or the way tsumugi asks if it's difficult acting with tasuku and azuma says I'm sure he's havng a harder time acting with me. he should be frustrated with my acting. like he's too graceful to wallow but I think azuma definitely gives off this vibe of like. oh i have to be Good. i have to nice and pleasant. to make up for the fact that it's me beneath all of this. like when he sees hisoka in his room and says he doesnt have any marshmallows here but hisoka is here for HIM and gives him marshmallows. sighs and says they are a value pack. arisu is a cheapskate. azuma is continually reminded and perhaps tortured by the soft and subtle ways winter loves each other because i don't think he can see himself as Part Of It yet...
to the nicer stuff lol i love the “where are you now?” / “that’s a secret” exchange is basiacally the same as last time only this time tasuku is at his door. i adoreeee how tasukus script notes are abt what “would help azuma out the most” bc. god. thats so good. yeah. i have to bet thats why tsumugi asked azuma if it was hard--i think tasukus very concious nowadays of like, what is the best way to Match with others. oh and FINALLY when azumas like I told you I’d do a good job for the performance and tasuku says “that’s not what I was worried about” yes… yess!!!! “we may be able to pull of the play perfectly fine, but are you fine? it seems like something’s been bothering you.” yes!!!!
also the way azuma's like yes i frow my hair out in the hopes my brother will come back some day its like. AND YOU WANTED TO CUT IT??? AND YOU SAID IT SO CASUALLY??? but ah. thats really azuma. and “since reo welcomes his loneliness, I thought I’d be able to act the part better if I spent time alone again” HE DOESNT WELCOME IT THOUGH!! HE DOESNT LOVE IT!!! i am so glad they r all together now. but yea the way azuma feels like this side of him is weak and miserable even tho it is literally human. the way that even here hes like [laughs] after seeing tasuku try to reach out to me, it doesnt feel as embarrasing anymore like. the way hes still keeping it light. azumas va genuinely recorded the perfect laugh for his character. and i love that the end of this event is just them mostly resolving to be more open with each other. what this event also made me realize is wow.... winter troupe didnt know literally anything abt the tsumugi tasuku debacle OR azumas backstory until now! shows how little they dive into touchy subjects lol... i also totally wrote down sooo many of these dialogue lines bc they're. good. telling. like its so sweet. tasuku just plainly sincerely expressing how he felt, knowing tsumugi had given up on acting and how that felt like a betrayal, and how tsumugis like. well, its fine. since you said you love my acting, it's all fine.
also. “the spring troupe is like a family, the summer troupe like school friends, and the autumn troupe like comrades for the same cause. what does that make us, then?” i have seen this quoted before and thought that the "and winter troupe are married!" was just a fun joke and not the Actual Thing they say basically??? i do love the different configurations of like. relationships that go on in a3 truly. but genuinely i think marriage is actually a great way to describe winter troupe's relationship? like, they're all old enough and had enough various relationships that i feel like. for them its very much like. okay... whatever this is, I'll commit to it, and make it work, and I plan for it to last for a very very very very long time.
anyways I burst out laughing at homares horrible snoring. hisoka how do u live. everyones sleeping sounds r so in character. azuma also seeing that gorgeous lavender sky and realizing how beautiful it looks with like. the rest of the troupe there... it was so good. it makes sense he's never seen it that way, considering he was afraid of waking up to another morning alone. also how he asks tasuku "once I gather the courage to return there, could you come with me? just kidding, of course..." like!! gah. the way he can't yet visit his family's place for fear of being too lonely. the way he asks tasuku becuase he is vulnerable enough to believe in him but also the way he has to couch it in a just kidding. tasuku falling asleep before he can respond, and azuma being at a good enough place where not knowing the answer, just yet, won't terrify him. and he gets to say "good night, and sweet dreams," but unlike reo. he gets to see tasuku when the next day comes, too. he can believe a little harder that he's not an imposition.
now for a little chikage interlude pre-their actual performance. CHIKAGE IM WATCHING YOU. I BET HES WATCHING WINTER. i bet hes whoever sent that "im watching you" message to them!!! i have cottoned on!!! he's been overseas for a long time, he can recognize azuma on sight... i'm still placing my bets on assassin but spy, the more realistic option, is also working. "I’ve really taken a liking to your troupe." and you keep showing up for winter troup stuff in specific.... buying FLOWERS... no clue why they were zinnias bc i dont think thats hisokas or chikages flower but. im 100% sure he knows hisoka. bet pre amnesiac hisoka was like a co-assassin!! and to transition back to the play performance, izumi is like "I’ve always thought this, but he’s really good at acting" abt hisoka and there is me, banging pots and pans together: ITS BECAUSE!!! HES AN ASSASSIN!!!! (more realistically a spy)
nocturnality such a good play tho. the delicate relationship of not daring to overstep despite building smthing so fundamentally important to both of you. the way reo is so like. i cannot demand anything from kota but has been drinking his blood every night… also azuma being like "tasuku said he likes my hair long :)
" yes. but oh my godddd the "...that idiot" adlib TASUKU WHAT A DESTRUCTIVE ADLIB!!! when i first watched the play i was so moved by kota's desperation to stay with reo and when i saw that the ending just had reo gone and kota breaking down from emotion it was... moving, sure, but I wanted kota to retain that desperation. and i feel like this adlib rly brought some determination to the character. the way only someone you are deeply intimte with is someone you can so heart-wrenchingly call an idiot. the way it's an acknowledgment of how kota knows reo is lonely. that it's not just him. the play poster has that one line... "we're the same, you and i. this is our true nature" which is why me and my friends all assumed it would be abt TWO vampires. but it's not, and I think what that phrase means is like. human, vampire, whatever. these are two lonely people who want to love each other. thats what they are mirrors of. each other. they must be the same being in the end. and that's why even though kota has to let this other random vampire save and heal reo he is not going to let him go. or something. how wonderful.
now that I've gone through all the event plays I am gonna have to say that a clockwork heart is my favorite, just for how it mirrors the play and the real events, and the whole mizuno and tsuzuru dynamic is so well done. plus the fact that it gets to re-contextualize romeo and julius (when I got to the scene where mizuno is literally staring at tsuzuru on the balcony something CLICKED for me) is so good. clockwork heart and nocturnality as plays actually have lots of similarities in theming to me, in taht its about a human's bond with soemthing thats human-shaped but seen as unnatural and shouldn't exist. anyways, just a little more 'til act 2.... im excited!
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
orghhhh Nocturnality. Nocturnality…..
i'm famously Very Normal about Nocturnality so i'm going to try my best to answer this but. wow. so normal.
Just reading through your ask once made me crazy emotional so 😭
Under cut because it already got long enough,
You pinpointing right away that Azuma and Sakuya would mesh…. there's actually a link skill (so, like Taichi and Tasuku have about being Godza people) when you put Azuma, Sakuya, and two others people (whom reasons to be here are for act 2 so i'll keep it at that) in the same group, and it's called "Lone Wolves: I've finally found the place where I belong.". Much to think about!!!!!
But yeah definitely Azuma and Sakuya have a lot in common, orphan boys who lost their loving parents and then had to basically deal with relatives not wanting them around so they both became as pleasant and unimposing as possible. Except that for any stories where Winter gets to parallel one of the younger people, it's all about how Winter had to carry this coping so deep into adulthood that now it's too hard to move away from it, while the younglings are allowed to grow while this trauma had taken root sure but not already bloomed into a full. waves at what Azuma pulls yaknow.
But god the infos about Azuma's brother too it's just. orhghhh Azuma……..
But yeah so he finally found a home there and you're right on so many points down the line about his loneliness and how much he fits him but i'm trying to go through the ask in order else it'll get messy but orhghhh Nocturnality…
AND YEAH FOR TASUKU YEAH!! he's SO GOOD at Support and he's been SO HAPPY about doing support now. And yeah like, right after the event with Taichi it stands out a lot. I'll just bring back too that a bit before the Halloween event there was the Beach event where Juza was cold toward Muku because he didn't know how to address his guilt, and while it was a team effort, Tasuku especially involved himself and insisted on /supporting Juza/ into showing Muku his feelings via play.
So it's been a pattern but what i find really interesting is that he was upfront about it for both Juza and Taichi but when it came to Azuma, he didn't know how to make it clear.
And it all roots back to the fact that they had a major fight in the Winter Chapter. Remember that?
During the whole "someone is spying on Mankai" situation, after Azuma temporarely left the company and then came back after his mental breakdown and being told Winter accepted him.
Where Azuma just pointed out, hey, maybe Tasuku is the one who leaked out secrets without really realizing it because he was talking to an old friend, and Tasuku got so angry he snapped back that since Azuma was a whore (paraphrasing) perhaps HE'S the one who leaked secrets by talking to his clients.
And Azuma was REAAAALLY pissed by this whole thing and when he started to get cold to Tasuku Tasuku started to realize oh shit my anger got the better of me and now this is bad.
And this whole situation wasn't really solved by them apologizing to each other, in fact it kept escalating with Azuma also threatening to leave the company again because he was "so unreliable with how much he slept around due to his old job", which freaked Tasuku out.
And i think it's important there at this point in Tasuku's journey to remember he was so wounded by being left behind by Tsumugi without knowing why, and blaming himself, that when Azuma started to close in and threaten to leave, Tasuku probably took it the really wrong way.
This whole situation was solved with Homare's whole arc, but so, Tasuku and Azuma didn't exactly talk this shit out. They basically made a truce without apologizing and they've been pleasant to one another up until then.
But it's clear imo that Tasuku especially wanted to make it up to Azuma, and it's likely just Azuma had his walls PARTICULIARLY high around Tasuku because he felt betrayed for the one time he considered lowering them.
So, I think it's fascinating to compare Tasuku's behavior toward Juza and Taichi, kids he decides to guide no matter what, to toward Azuma, because he genuinely wants to be here for Azuma but he feels the wall Azuma is putting between the two of them, and he feels responsible for it even being here because of how badly this one incident went.
This one incident drives me bonkers because it basically sets up why their dynamic is like that during Nocturnality even more so than just Azuma closing in: it's also because they don't know how to approach each other while by all account they're the duo who, up until now, in Winter, got along the least.
And it's why Tasuku is trying so hard to take notes on his script without confronting Azuma about it either, and making things easier for him. Of course, he worries and is just bad at showing it, but Tasuku is also so unsure how to confront him again without making a mess.
It's similar to how he felt unable to confront Tsumugi and orrghhhhh Tasuku….
Okay back to your ask,
The Masumi's scene was sO CUTE!!! This is what i mean when i say "Masumi is a good character when they let him do things outside of his obsession with Izumi", this whole bit was aDORABLE. And the implication he's looking out for Tsuzuru is just😭
I like your interpretation on the good night and sweet dreams's line reaction. I'll also rise that i've seen "good night and sweet dreams" used a lot also as something to say to people on their last breath as they die. As in, have a good eternal slumber.
I think Tsuzuru isn't so innocent in that choice of line for Reo and Kota. Because in a way it's the immortal creature of the night, an undead, who makes this wishes of all the sweetest dreams to the person he's leaving behind, playing on the words we'd use for the departed but here, reversed as the meaning from Reo is "i want you to keep on living no matter what". Which is even MORE ironical because leaving Kota just leaves Kota in grief and orghhhhh Nocturnality………….
ABOUT THE PLAY THEN…. Honestly this is so fair, and the song goes even more into this interpretation with how they both sing together the drinking blood lines. I think it's mostly because, the Poster is set after Kota learns Reo is a vampire and we know Kota immediately jumped into wanting to be there for Reo no matter what and become a vampire himself. Kota was posing like "yeah i'm a vampire too, or at least i'm trying to convince my vampire boyfriend to turn me" and that's really sexy.
But i find it so fun all your friends thought the same LDKJFDLKFJ
god. ReoKota. they're so fucking good. whole fist into my mouth. Like who talks like that; Tsuzuru is that how you see the Winter Troupe. You're always right but sTILL.
On all the details you mention it's just so much, but, i'll ask you to put on a pin on the vampire HQ and remember it does exist.
I have nothing really to add to everything you mention about the play itself it's just. god. this play is just way too good.
But yeah i would have loved to see a bit more of them too, and i'm really glad you took upon you the hard duty of showing it as well.
God. these two.
I'm obsessed.
and helppp the hype 😭 But i TOTALLY agree and understand where you're coming from.
Azuma and Hisoka have been my loves since the first Winter Chapter, but mainly in act 1 i focused on Azuma more, so i was terrified when Nocturnality came along too that i was overhyping it. Instead i cried so hard the whole way through i had to take breaks because of headaches.
But i think you're on point with how Azuma feels like the odd one out and i do think it's on purpose, like you mention later, it's the touch starved one, the one who's so desperately yearning for love and connection, who still picked to self isolate. Because he saw the two duos that were arising at the time they picked the rooms and he considered well, he's used to loneliness, he can be lonely again, it's not like he can take place in either of these duos. god.
But yeah this event does such a good job at expending on Azuma and giving him the proper room to breath. And i think it's like, when you make a character who's so kind that he looks open, but is actually extremely closed in because he's terrified of this intimacy he's yearning for, it's the kind of things you can only really show via slowburn and subtle details, so it makes Azuma so easy to overlook.
But it's why i kept insisting on reading the event stories. I can't imagine jumping into act 2 without all of the character work those events worked so hard to develop, and Azuma especially is getting a lot out of it.
And HHHH THE DRIVING DATES. GOD. Remember how in the first winter chapter when Tasuku asks if anyone can drive Azuma is just "i prefer to be in the passenger seat" and Tasuku just rolls his eyes because his whole troupe is useless, and now he's just, hey, stay with me on the passenger seat?
And for the ocean, yeah, i think Azuma brings it up when Hisoka asks them to stop at the beach as he's having memories. Tasuku at this point acts so annoyed at everyone and is focusing on Hisoka and i'm SURE Azuma just said something without really thinking anyone was listening to him, let alone Tasuku. So that's a nice continuity thing of how much Tasuku is paying attention to the people around him.
(on a sidenote, this was one of the small reasons that got me pissed at the Winter anime adaptation dLKJDFLD The anime already cut Azuma and Hisoka's arc for the most part, and on the beach scene in question, they adapted it so that Tasuku and Tsumugi stay in the car to have a little gay drama on the side to tease their conflict.
me, foaming in the mouth: where is Tasuku worrying about Hisoka. Where is Tasuku picking up the details Azuma drops about himself which serves then to build on Nocturnality. What are you DOING ANIME.)
Tasuku is def the friend who hears you offhandedly mention liking something and then he rolls his eyes and then the next time you meet he got it for you. God. This guy.
The convo about Tasuku leaving the God Troupe hhhh god. You're totally right about Azuma asking about Tasuku's reasons. It's just. god, Azuma….
I do genuinely think that like, he admires that Tasuku is here for Tsumugi, he admires this type of love, but he would love someone to love him like that, like you said. I think part of him wished to hear "but i'm also here because i love all of the Winter Troupe, you included" or something that shows Azuma is also a priority in other people's lives.
Because despite how nice and sweet Azuma can be, how much he's been a support to anyone, he closes himself in and fades in the background so much he doesn't have strong bonds with anyone or so he thinks and god it hurts.
fist in mouth Sorry if i cannot be too coherent about Azuma i'm realizing trying to type all of that that i'm still crying thinking about his arc and goddamn, the line between projecting and relating has truly blurred past comprehention to me.
But god everything you say about Azuma. yeah. yeah… yeah.
I think also that, Azuma is so touch starved so he turned to cuddling, but this touch starving is such a manifestation of how he's yearning to be close and intimate with people, and he can comprehend this intimacy on a physical level, but on an emotional level he just cannot make himself vulnerable enough for that. So i think in a way it might make his touch starving even worse because it means, he's getting so close to getting it, he's extending others the intimacy he would love to receive, but he puts himself in a situation where he denies it to himself. So his needs are not fulfilled and in a way i think he probably ends up starving even more, no matter how much he cuddles up at work and stuff.
But yeah no i totally 100% agree with you and it's embarassing and it's muffled screaming into hands Azuma…………….
And on top of the loneliness, yeah, god. I mean, Azuma basically grew up with the idea of, people will leave your life when you least expect it, so better be ready for it to happen. Better not form close attachement else it will hurt once it's gone. And we know his relatives didn't really want to keep him around so it adds to the fact of just feeling like you cannot form any type of attachement. And he carried that into adulthood and now it's just, he convinced himself loneliness was the only thing he could get. And he could banter up with it by the touching and cuddling, but the loneliness remains.
But yeah omg the Homare bit is so good 😭
and this is the second time you're comparing Azuma and Itaru this is amazing. Let them do more things together!! But i do think you're on point with their guilt over how the reason their acting isn't good enough to them.
"i want act 2 to come along just so he gets a roommate honestly"
THIS WAS ME THE ENTIRE TIME HELPPPP. The moment Azuma said that he had panic attacks at night when he slept alone in the first Winter Chapter i was just "oh my god can the Winter rookie come already you can't leave him alone like that" and i've waited ever since, non stop, for this new chara to show up. Now my feelings for when it happens are REDACTED for spoilers reason but holy shit. Holy shit….
But yeah like Azuma stands out even more so, he's already so lonely and while Winter is a big group and stuff, it's true by act one they're mostly divided by two duos and Azuma on the side.
I think Nocturnality changes that around quite a bit, as Tasuku goes out of his way to be here for Azuma and all of Winter are making their efforts to be there for him, but yeah, up until this point, Azuma had all the reasons to feel like the odd one out.
god Azuma coming back to his old flat. fist in mouth fist in mouth f-
But yeah it sure works to show how much Winter is very undirect with talking about their feelings. I think it's here from the start but it can easily be seen, esp after Summer and Autumn's fights, as a lack of conflict that they're just this indirect and taking their bad emotions upon themselves. I think the Winter events, especially Nocturnality, and especially Azuma, do a good job showing how much this is just as much of a conflict and possibly just as harmful.
I think Azuma is, in the end, surprisingly, the one who therefore makes the situation worse for Winter, because he does have a habit of not talking about what is wrong and, before you know, suddenly he disappeared and you don't know how to approach him without being a little blunt. So out of everyone, it's Azuma's way to just try to make as little fuss and disappear that can make everything about the Winter dynamic more difficult.
so i think it's also telling that solving at least part of this issue was with Tasuku, since in a way Tasuku is much more blunt and its his outbrusts that caused Winter to have to face each other and their conflict in previous stories. Unstoppable Force VS Unmovable Object.
" I think azuma definitely gives off this vibe of like. oh i have to be Good. i have to nice and pleasant. to make up for the fact that it's me beneath all of this. "
oroghhhh yeah.. yeah!!
Once again i was mentioning earlier, but let's remember that when his parents died Azuma was told clearly by his relatives that he would be a burden to them. I don't think they even made clear if he stayed with some relatives (he must have right? i mean he was just a kid) until he could get a place he could live in alone, but therefore, the comparaison with Sakuya is even more stark in that sense of: he probably had to be good and pleasant and take as little space as possible, not cause any problem, handling everything on his own so his presence isn't a burden, doesn't come noticed as much.
And i genuinely feel like there's part of it in the way he behaves there as the lead, of, trying so much to disappear behind being as good and as little of a problem as possible, so perhaps he won't burden anyone by the crime of, you know, being alive and existing.
God the Hisoka scene tho Hisooo 😭 he worries so much for Azuma it's so cute. Even if yeah he has to bring it up back to Homare but man. man.
YEAH MAN THAT EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD. AT THE DOOR I MEAN. gOd Tasuku coming forth showing he's both a fantastic theater support AND a good friend support. god.
The hair thing drives me insane too bc it's not even the first time he brings it up, he also mentions eventually cutting it in the backstage of his SR for My Master Mesmerized by Mystery. I think Azuma has been kind of… on a line, basically, on that topic.
I feel like if he cut his hair, he would have to face right away that there is no one who could come back to him. I think he holds on to that feeling so much. And a part of him would be betraying what his brother loved just to try to move on. I think cutting his hair would be the worst thing for his mental health, and in a way, he toys with the idea of basically destroying himself because, what if it means he can more easily rebuild himself?
I also think it adds to the significance of Azuma being the one to chose to have his hair short in MMMBM. Because he's playing a brother who had to kill his sibling in order to set them free. As such, i feel like, since Azuma was the one who could pick the hairstyle he wanted, this was his way to show how he'd basically give up on any foolish thought of his brother being alive, by all account, killing him in the last way possible. That perhaps it could set them both free.
but MMMBM does end with the idea still that the death wasn't the solution and that Azuma's chara ruined his own life and his possibility to bond with other people. As such, i think that the idea is that this would not actually be freeing for him to do so and would instead just make things worse.
But yeah back to the scene itself and yeah god. God that whole scene is so much. I really love how the conflict is solved by all of winter coming together too. While Tasuku does the heavy lifting it's all of Winter that has to extend to Azuma that, no, he has a place with them, and they want him with them. And i love that it means they can open up to each other sobs. The Tasuku and Tsumugi scene was especially soft.
""“the spring troupe is like a family, the summer troupe like school friends, and the autumn troupe like comrades for the same cause. what does that make us, then?” i have seen this quoted before and thought that the "and winter troupe are married!" was just a fun joke and not the Actual Thing they say basically??? ""
SURPRISEEEEE
"i can hear the wedding bells!" like okay??? me too???
moment that made me go from shipping duos to "actually Fuyupoly rules". I'm feeling insane.
But genuinely Homare going on about how they're soulmates designed to meet each other and how Azuma and Tasuku joke about it at the end and how "yeah perhaps he's right" i'm feeling insane i'm feeling insane im-
but i do agree that marriage is what fits them most, it's like, this choice they keep on making to try to make it work. In a way it faces even more how much it's a real work to go through with it. guhhhhh them. them. God i love them so much i'm ghnnnn
So funnily, i think it's one of his base Backstage but Hisoka mentions very early on that he doesn't want any gifts like, pillows or plushies or eyebands because he wants to be able to sleep anywhere in any situation whatsoever. And, like the stray cat he is, we've seen that people have Basically Been Ignoring That (if you can look at his R backstage in the Into the Night- where he basically gets his first real plush and suddenly it's all hell breaks loose) and now Hisoka is just, extremely picky about where he sleeps.
In his R Nocturnality backstage you find out Hisoka is going more and more extreme in ways to find sleep.
So i figure that: Hisoka would have stand with Homare's snoring at first. But probably not anymore. Not now that he sleeps with plushies and pillows and eyebands and everything. Please save him.
but orghhh the next morning and the way he asks for Tasuku to come with him but Tasuku is already asleep. In my mind rentfree everytime.
And this is where Tasuku and Azuma's relationship really changed since, like i mentioned, before this event they were still distant toward one another, and now Azuma trusts Tasuku with the most vulnerable side of himself, even if he still brushes it off a bit. Like god. these two.
" and he gets to say "good night, and sweet dreams," but unlike reo. he gets to see tasuku when the next day comes, too. he can believe a little harder that he's not an imposition. "
CRYING IN THE FUCKING CLUB THANK YOU
Okay let's stop with the man that always make me cry. let's go talk about the man that always make me g- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
muffles screams with hand i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm s-
god the fact Chikage's presence in this event is him seeing Azuma in the street at night and immediately realizing it's him and going at Itaru, how come a member of your troupe is out there alone? isn't he in the winter troupe? Why isn't the rest of his troupe with him? And Itaru is just huh, okay, weird you picked it up but alright, and that then Chikage asks if he can come see the next play. Like. Mhmmmmmm. MHMMMM.
For the records, a3 is always very careful about the use of its flower languages and Chikage's bouquets all had a specific meaning so far. I won't share them because it's likely it'll spoil a little of his deal, but it's worth coming back to it once you get to know him. (More in the sense of the devs made sense of the bouquet, whenever Chikage knows what the flowers means or not are up to interpretation… or at least to pick up once you've read his deal).
Obviously i can't say more but we're getting closer in closer to having an answer and, i, for one, am hype.
But god. GODD. I'm not saying anything i'm not saying anything i'm not goes back to yell in my hands that's fine i'm good i'm good i'm,
NOCTURNALITY IS SO GOOD and it does so mcuh to parallel Azuma and Tasuku.
ALSO AZUMA THAT TASUKU SAID THAT ABOUT HIS HAIR. back to what i was saying, so far he's associating keeping his hair long with staying afloat, giving himself hope his brother might come back, and cutting it would hurt him right? i think this adds a layer even more so, that, by the hair being a promise that his brother might come back, keeping his hair long is also a promise that he will not always be alone, and that he will have people who'd come back to him. and Tasuku in his silly sleepy ramblings, gave him exactly that. I think in that moment it was a healthier way to move forward how Azuma felt about his hair than to cut it to try to move on: this way, indeed, hair is home, in the sense that someone cares about him enough that he cares about what Azuma would do with his hair. Fucking insane event i swear to god.
THE "… THAT IDIOT" ADDLIB, TASUKU YOU KING.
You're totally right i think this addlib changes everything and i'll have something very important to say about it a bit later, so, let's see you in a bit.
and yess yo'ure totally correct about the thematic of the play and how they mirror each other and hjjjdgfhkdghf ReoKota my beloved. I can"t deal with it.
Okay so here, i have TWO things i need you to watch on top of everything.
In case you didn't know so far, the SSR Backstage for the Lead Actor of the Play serves as an Epilogue to the play. It depends exactly play by play how it goes: the ones i'm familiar with for act 1 are only the summer ones and Nocturnality, but for instance, Sardine Search involves Kuro and Shiro accidentally finding themselves in the Mankai backyard and meeting Yuki and Kazunari. Sky's Pirate is the whole of summer talking together about what they would wish the sequel to Sky's Pirate would be, all of them adding a bit of their own flair to it.
Nocturnality's. is. SO important. You need to watch it. this is a threat. Here's the link. it's SO important you need to come back to me when you read it.
Also on another side i really want you to read Tasuku's N for this event because it's genuinely so funny. I love him so much. IT's one of my favorite backstage ever
Okay now back to the ask.
Clockwork Heart is a fantastic play and event, i totally feel you there. It's one of my fav of this brunch too because it works so well at recontextualizing Tsuzuru and also Citron, and Mizuno is such a good chara to add to this whole bit.
Nocturnality remains my personal fav because i'm soooooooooooo normal, but god.
Tbh like, i keep on insisting people read the events before jumping to act 2, and more often than not i've met a bit of…. resistance? kinda? because the events start out a bit slow. And it was for a reason too, since it was to let some times for the new players to catch up on the main story before dumping all sort of heavy things at them. But therefore i'd say that, while they're very good, i think it's possible to not find the first 3 events that captivating: like they explore the chara, sure, but it's not comparable to the feelings of the main story.
Once you reach The Stranger though i think the events don't pull any punches anymore and all of them add so much to the way you read those chara. And frankly the whole bunch of the 3rd plays are so important imo, they give so much insight on everything i can't imagine skipping them.
But i generally don't manage to argue that with people who tends to get bored after the first two events and jump to Act 2 and then they get confused while i'm just. no. come back.
So i'm genuinely glad you enjoyed the events and how much there is into them. they're so so good.
And it's true that the thematic are similar in a sense, and i think it's a bit on purpose but i can't really adventure myself too much in details.
BUT YEAH. thank you for sharing your thoughts as always and thank you so much for making me relive this heartshattering experience. It was a blast <333
Take care and see you around :3c
#long post for ts#hands in the water. Nocturnality.................#thank you so much as usual for your messages#and thank you for reminding me just how much this event ruined me#ichareply#aranarumei#ichafantalks a3#bro you wrote 3.1k words and i wrote 4.8k words we're so normal about Nocturnality in the chat today
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Currently Reading...
If We Were Villains - M.L. Rio
Day 1: Act One; Prologue - Scene 10
Straight into my winter reading list with If We Were Villains. I haven’t got far, but I am loving it! This school is simultaneously the most magical and also the most stressful place I can imagine being. On the one hand, a school full of artsy, creative people, where every detail is catered specifically to your interests, sounds incredible. But also, the constant pressure to not only keep up with everyone else, but to compete against them? The language students only speaking in Greek or Latin? The theatre kids always having a Shakespeare quote on hand as a response? Too much! I’m stressed just imagining it!
I’m really hoping this ends with them getting way too into their art, and trying to step out of their assigned roles or whatever, and plotting an assassination. We know Oliver is in prison ten years later, so something murdery had to have happened. I hope it’s Richard, and I hope they stab him 23 times.
Day 2: Act One; Scenes 11 & 12
Jesus, I officially love this book. So, Richard was off-stage (off-beach?) for his miniscule part - which is good for his inflated ego, but apparently bad for James' life expectancy, since Richard went apeshit and tried to drown him?!!!
I love how deep you sink into the narrative, you can almost see them performing in front of you.
And everyone being weirdly impressed by Oliver covered in blood is very gratifying. I assume James has a thing for Oliver, which is where this incredible tension between them comes from?
I (probably everyone else too) am very susceptible to a good book, and my thought pattern tends to change to fit what I'm reading if it's captivating enough. Wuthering Heights always does it to me, and The Way of Kings got me using fictional curse words for a solid month after I'd read it. This is definitely one of those books. For a few hours after I put it down, I find myself thinking in iambic pentameter. Only vaguely annoying. At least I don't do it out loud.
Day 3: Act Two, & Act Three; Prologue - Scene 8
Uh-oh! I mean, at least I predicted which one would die!
So, I have three theories at the moment.
One. It was Alexander, because he didn't want them to save his life.
Two. It was James, because he was throwing up and naked and showering when Oliver found him that night.
Three. It was all of them, and they made up a story afterwards to ease their guilt, and got so involved in the performance that Oliver now believes it.
And as the police have officially declared it an accidental death, I'm incredibly curious as to how Oliver ends up spending ten years in prison.
On a non-murder note, I was so convinced that James had feelings for Oliver! But then there's whatever he's got going on with Wren. And yet, I still keep reading bits that make me think he's pining for Oliver and I don't know what to think. But perhaps it is, as Frederick says, the difference between homosocial and homoerotic.
Day 4: Act Three; Scenes 9-18, Acts Four & Five
"Would you rather sleep with me, or would you rather sleep with James?" He'd rather sleep with James. Vindication!
I went through so many theories! I knew it had to end poorly, since Oliver went to prison. I thought maybe that James and Wren had done it, and they threw Oliver under the bus.
Then Oliver found the boat hook in James' mattress! My initial thought was that James did it, and Oliver would take the fall; but then I thought about the fact that Filippa was burning evidence in the fireplace, and that she'd been the only one to keep visiting Oliver, out of guilt, maybe? And I didn't think James would be dumb enough to hide the murder weapon in his own mattress. So I thought maybe Filippa had tried to set James up, not knowing Oliver would take the blame.
I don't think I was far off - James killing Richard, but Filippa knowing about it and helping him cover it up, and Oliver confessing to spare James.
But what a conclusion! I was heartbroken, and so, so angry at Henry for recommending I read this book, for even letting me read this book! But then that final page, and James' letter to Oliver! The only thing better than a happy ending - a hopeful one.
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sorry i have to disagree about boris's sexuality and feelings not being up for interpretation. when i first read tgf i thought theo had unrequited feelings for him. i thought boris kissed theo only bc he knew that theo loved him. i definitely don't think the same now but that's only after reading a lot of analyses etc (also i'm not straight). also there are others who completely missed the part about them fooling around as kids. so i think it's really unfair to say finn's opinion is homophobic
Thank you for being respectful, I really appreciate it.
I agree that Boris’ feelings for Theo, while apparent and there, are a lot more ambiguous than Theo’s feelings for him. Still, Finn wasn’t talking about just Boris’ feelings, but the entire scene and their relationship’s nature as a whole. He didn’t say that the kiss might’ve been platonic for Boris (which would’ve still been incorrect), but that the kiss as a whole was. He also argued that their love for each other was brotherly, which proves that he either isn’t aware of, or chooses to ignore, the fact that they were sexually intimate for approximately a year. It wasn’t a one-time thing, so both boys must’ve been at least physically attracted to each other in order to be aroused enough for said activities. Correct me if I’m wrong, but brothers aren’t usually sexually intimate with each other...
What makes an opinion more valid than others, isn’t based on how easy it is for the majority of people to understand or see. If you’re a cishet, or inexperienced in literature, I completely understand that you might not realize Theo and Boris were in love. But that’s why people write literary analyses. They’re for people who might miss certain aspects otherwise, who need a little more guidance. I write mine so that everyone could have the same knowledge as I do, and base their opinions on that knowledge, rather than personal bias. It’s not offensive or homophobic if you miss out on the homoeroticism, but it is offensive to not do more research on the matter before you form an opinion on it. It’s just ignorant to comment on things you don’t know enough about, especially if there are resources available to you.
So what makes other opinions more valid than others? It’s very simple really, the opinion which can be proven correct through reason and logic (objective facts) is the valid one. Others that are based around subjective thoughts, biases, lack of information, prejudices, etc. are invalid. There are of course completely subjective things you can’t have wrong opinions on, but this isn’t one of those. A person who has all the same knowledge and information regarding this topic as I do, and still interprets their feelings for one another as platonic, is either consciously or subconsciously homophobic. Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely don’t think Finn is. I really do believe he said what he said because he’s either uncomfortable with the topic, or he just lacks knowledge on it. But the interpretation/opinion by itself is homophobic.
The homoerotic themes in tgf weren’t written unintentionally. While there is a lot of subtext to help convey those themes to the reader, a lot of it is also explicit. For example, the sexual intimacy, which is only mentioned briefly, still isn’t up for interpretation. It’s text. Also arguing that Tartt wrote the subtextual aspects accidentally, is frankly ridiculous. No one writes that strong, detailed, and dedicated subtext accidentally. Especially not a Pulitzer prize-winning author. Erasing the homoeroticism; erasing the characters’ queerness, is queer-erasure, and queer-erasure is homophobic plain and simple.
My opinion/interpretation is based on the facts I provide in my analyses, so please if you’re confused about anything, or don’t know what my arguments even are, I encourage you to read those!
Homoromantic subtext in The Goldfinch
Why The Goldfinch is undoubtedly gay
Snippet 1
Snippet 2
Ending
Translation 2
Snippet 3
Translation 1
Snippet 4
Snippet 5
There’s a few more, but the first two are most informative so I’d recommend you check those out!
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possibly a weird question that you are, of course, under no obligation to answer, but: what are your favourite books? fiction, non-fiction, comics, for-work, not-for-work, anything. i'm just curious :-D
Oh, man, so hard to choose, and it depends on the mood I’m in! Let’s see, just the first few that come to mind…I’m going to forget something utterly obvious and smack myself for it later, I know I am…
Academic:
Jeffery Jerome Cohen, Medieval Identity Machines (the book with the chapter on sadomasochism and the medieval knight)
Farah Mendlesohn, Rhetorics of Fantasy (one of the best books about fantasy and what it does, rather than simply defining it)
Carolyn Dinshaw, How Soon Is Now? (one of the most influential recent books on medievalism, amateurism, and love)
George Chauncey, Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940 (amazingly detailed and compelling historical survey of, well, exactly what it says it is)
Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality (he can sometimes overgeneralize, but I love love love his prose and the way that pleasure becomes entwined with philosophy and language)
Fantasy:
Hope Mirrlees, Lud-in-the-Mist (luscious, evocative, bittersweet, lingering)
Lord Dunsany, The King of Elfland’s Daughter (much like the above: about getting what you think you want, and finding out that perhaps it’s not what you want, and actions and loves which both have consequences) (I sometimes teach Dunsany’s “The Sword of Welleran,” which is incredibly powerful as a commentary on the hero-narrative and the cost of battle)
Terry Pratchett, Nation (for a stand-alone and arguably one of his best books; out of the Discworld series, my favorite is Night Watch, because it’s so intensely character-driven, but you kind of have to’ve read at least the other City Watch books for the impact)
Diane Duane, The Door Into Fire ( @dduane is one of the three people who’ve influenced my writing the most, I think)
Barbara Hambly, Those Who Hunt The Night (Edwardian vampires! A philologist hero! Linguistics! Motorcycles! Also I totally shipped Asher/Ysidro before I knew what shipping was.)
Patricia A. McKillip, The Book of Atrix Wolfe (I could list others, but this is the one I always come back to. Everything is luminous.)
V.E. Schwab, A Darker Shade of Magic (it’s been a long, long time since I fell so immediately in love with a whole world and the characters; @veschwab is wondrous and someday I will get this onto a college syllabus)
Romance:
Alexis Hall, Glitterland (does he have more recent m/m romance? yes. did he just win the RITA for a different and much kinkier book? yes. but Glitterland was the first book of his that I read, and I fell in love with the language, oh, the language; and the people, all hurting and brave and real. plus a recipe for shepherd’s pie at the back!)
KJ Charles, the Magpie Lord novels (Regency m/m with magicians and social equality concerns? Yes please!)
Eloisa James, anything really but I’m partial to Pleasure for Pleasure because I love Josie as a heroine (also, the handling of her love interest, who we’ve seen elsewhere as a supporting character, is beautiful; but anything by @eloisajames is good) (oh, and switching to het Regency romance for this and the next one)
Julia Quinn, The Viscount Who Loved Me (more recent JQ novels tend to lean too heavily on forced humor, but this and the surrounding books are funny without being contrived, and sweet at heart, and in this one characters open up and have honest conversations and respect for each other, and they’re so clearly a good match and equals in the relationship)
C.S. Pacat, the Captive Prince trilogy (heed the warnings, heed ALL the warnings, but oh this is worth it; I appreciate authors who make me change my mind about characters and question assumptions, and characters who’re smarter than anyone else in the room, and I have ALL THE LAURENT FEELS OH GOD SOMEONE (DAMEN) GIVE HIM ALL THE FLUFFY BLANKETS AND HAPPINESS PLEASE *flails*) (also: Charls.)
Other Books:
Diane Carey, Distant Drums (this was supposed to be a trilogy, and there’re only two, but it’s not a terrible cliffhanger or anything, and I ALSO HAVE ALL THE WYATT FEELS! AND DORIAN! CIVIL WAR-ERA HISTORICAL FICTION THAT IS PROBABLY NOT MEANT TO BE AS HOMOEROTIC AS IT IS BUT I LOVE THEM SAVING EACH OTHER’S LIVES ALL THE TIME OKAY)
Barbara Hambly, the Benjamin January series (historical mysteries! New Orleans in the 1800s! glorious detail and compelling characters!)
Matt Fraction, Hawkeye (had to get one comics-related thing in here; you probably know all the usual reasons why this one, re: representation, emotion, the everyday extraordinary, Lucky the Pizza Dog, coffee…)
Jane Austen, Persuasion (my favorite Austen: second chances and hope)
Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (the wordplay! the glorious fun! Macbeth is my favorite tragedy, but this is more fun just to randomly read)
Enjoy!
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I'm so tired of this "straights have lied about being gay, bi etc to look more cool" thing. WHERE? I don't know where these people live but in my world no straight guy would ever be purposely misleading about his straightness to gain more fans. Last time I checked straight people are the ones who drop singers & actors when they come out, not viceversa. Also glad to know that a celebrity can't choose to keep their own sexuality private but has to release a detailed essay along w their debut album
literally like myspace emo culture in like 2009 involved a lot of boys being extra homoerotic but literally all of the guys i knew back then they played up the Gay(tm) on camera identify as lgbt now so like.......... anyway i’m tired when are we as a society gonna stop seeing straight as the default sexuality that never needs to be proved but is just assumed and anything outside out of that needs at least 8+ examples of Non Hetero Behaviour to be seen as Valid
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