I hate when I've already written and published a story to AO3 and then I get an amazing idea to add to it after the fact...

(new totk rewritten - super rough concept)

so this was a super rough sketch for retrieving the enigma stone of the zora- im currently redoing it since im not happy with this one-

but i have run into a bit of a problem; see the reason why theres monsters causing trouble everywhere is bc ganondorf is trying to keep the stones out of raurus hand(s) thus creating all those bosses to hopefully stop link from reaching them, or at least to slow you down BUT i cant seem to decide whether it makes more sense if the whole reason they are split up among the other regions is because the ancient .. 'sages' wanted to ALSO keep them away from rauru, or if they were instructed by him to do this and await his return (which would be a good reason why they are wearing that sonau helmet still .. if they werent completely in on it i doubt they would do it lol)

(the thought being, would rauru be more likely to not give the stones away at all or he was too afraid that gan could wake up earlier/break free and get his hands on them first- so he sends his trusty servants- sages out to construct big temples and await his return but to stop gan if he were to seek them out first ... also possibly so all the stones arent in one spot, since they, in my rewrite, are the highest concentrated version of spirit energy and would emit an extreme amount of energy likely to attract something... yeha its all based on luminous stoens containting spirit energy and that also powering the shiekah tech .. made a diagram (?) about it once actually, though some parts arent true anymore bc im omitting the whole dragon transform stuff)

(im also using this concept for the skyward sword comic btw, the mining of the timeshift stones being the reason the lanayru region becomes a desert bc the lands been robbed of life energy meant to go back into the system over time edit: i mean this as in an environment was drastically altered from its natural state in an extremely short amount of time, which is generally a bad thing, not as in desert areas just being dead sand filled wastelands, theres plenty of life there if meant to be like that/given long enough time to adjust or turn into it)

while i want to make rauru a villain i also dont want him to be too overtly evil since ... thats kinda boring and just pushes that role onto someone else, im aiming for more nuance overall (which is also why gan isnt some goody two shoes perfectly fine with hyrule, like yeah .. the calamity was his doing still)- so im leaning more towards the latter- though perhaps the gerudo did so more with the intent to keep it away from rauru

(also, i am including mineru after all.. but only as a mummy like so (sorry) but her stone is gone when you reach it bc its been taken by the yiga- for which you have to tract them down and fight koga (and possibly supah/sooga) )

Saw your thing about mha rewrites, thought i'd throw my hat in the ring. I've had a fic in mind for a while now that involved keeping midoriya quirkless, but instead of him just waiting for a quirk to happen, he'd actually been taking martial arts classes and such in preperation ( something that i find baffling that it didnt happen in canon) where the main issue for Izuku is pushing himself to far to prove a point. but in this, he distances from bakugou, the martial arts training giving him a better sense of self-esteem or atleast a better sense of where his energy is best spent. I plan to try to focus more on the ORIGINAL trio, uraraka, Izuku, and Iida....and i wanna give uraraka OFA bc i think playing around with what improved gravity manipulation could do. i think she'd get it after the torunament arc. Given how smart Midoriya was shown to be early on, I figure he'd make a lot of use of gadgets. infrared goggles, bo staff, head gear for better threat detection, and other possible improvements that he figures out throughout the year. All Might in this basically supports Midoriya's dream by providing the funding for the needed suit and gear. and instead of HIM having the iron man suit with everyones quriks somehow....lets give that to Midoriya, to represent his entier class pushing him forward as a symbol of hope for anyone who thinks they cant be a hero just bc their quirk sucks, or bc they dont have one. Nedzu is the traitor instead of aoyama, bc hes playing a game of 5d chess with AFO and knows once allmight loses his power, everythings going to go to shit, so he engineers events to happen at school with the lov to force the students to where they will have to be to survive the dark times to come. ie, doing a horrible thing, but he believes he has a solid reason for doing so. Bakugou loses to uraraka in the tournament. seeing midoriya so sucsessful without a quirk has made him impatient and desperate to prove himself so he goes at uraraka full boar. now, im not going to make this an insta win, that just dosent feel right, BUT this loss will be the second in a series of losses for bakugou to start going ' what am I doing wrong?' one of the other losses being that Midoriya completes the test with him and bakugou fighting allmight, but with Bakugou unconcious bc like in canon, dude flew off the handle and tried to solo the worlds strongest hero, while Midoriya was more tacticle in his approach. subsequently....bakugou dosent get kidnapped by the Lov, Midoriya does bc they think ' hey this kid is quirkless we can get him to turn' and its bakugou that fails to save Midoriya bc the students that failed their exam were all asleep during the time of the attack of the training camp. he wakes up and comes up short of saving the day, bc he blew his chance of victory. but heres the problem. i have the first couple chapters hammered out...but this is all a lot, and theres so much more that i know is either going to need to be covered. like the hero comercialization, the hero system relying solely on allmight to keep things in check, the lack of proper aid to those with quirks that would require some extra guidance etc. I have the idea....but the idea of writting all of it feels daunting to say the least XD if youd like i could also ramble more on other points i have in mind for this fic idea

Ngl, this sounds really good. OFA!Uraraka isn't something I see often, it's nice to see her get some love. Izuku working hard to become a hero on his own merit is always nice to see, and we love supportive All Might. I'm a firm believer that if Izuku had asked at any other time All Might would have given him a different answer. Izuku just happened to catch him when he was in a place of self-loathing and immeasurable chronic pain.

No, it doesn't excuse his actions. But it's realistic. He also tried to suggest that Izuku seek out a similar dream, like becoming a cop so it wasn't like he said what he did out of malice.

Also, don't be afraid to completely rewrite Horikoshi's terrible canon system! It's filled with a ton of contradictions and inconsistencies anyway so if you need to change it all to make sense, 100% go for it

everyone go play 999 for the nintendo ds. NOT THE PORT. the ds.

im serious about this.

9 hours 9 persons 9 doors for the nintendo ds is a masterpiece of a game, with wonderfully snappy dialogue and a quickly paced narrative that avoids many traps of visual novel writing (such as being overly obvious and repetitive) with a ludonarrative cohesion that makes SO many of its aspects initially perceived as flaws into an active strength of the experience. the endgame twist is very possibly the best in gaming history.

i think i've made it pretty clear that i really fucking love this game, and recommend it to everyone.

so

i used to say "the ds version is better, but it's fine if you play the port for its various quality of life features" but im no longer able to have that stance, now that i know the extent of how it kinda butchers its narrative. it's not super obvious, but that subtley honestly makes it worse to me.

it's the difference between a good game that had cool concepts but kinda shaky execution, and a masterpiece.

this boils down to the "novel mode" versus "adventure mode" format that they decided to build the port on.

if you choose to play in adventure mode, it removes almost all of the narration and rewrites that aforementioned incredible dialogue to awkwardly shove in some (not all) of that information, resulting in overly obvious and clunky writing that seriously drags some scenes out. the descriptive text in general is actually incredibly important in a way i can't describe, and though it will forcibly shift to novel mode to show it to you very occasionally, it's not Nearly enough and you will miss out on some of the most memorable striking moments because of it. i cannot overstate how much the impact of the ending is affected by this.

if you choose novel mode, you do get all the narration (very important). HOWEVER. the writing is still the adjusted one done to facilitate only playing adv mode, so now the dialogue is overly obvious and clunky and slow AND repetitive (all the things i said 999 very cleverly avoided 🤔?) and then, for some ungodly reason, it is actively difficult to play the game in novel mode. the game will Constantly shift you back to adv mode so you have to spend the entire game checking to make sure to switch back (something even i found difficult to do as someone who'd played the ds version).

so neither way to play the port is good. also they changed the final puzzle to be worse. and a LOT of ludonarrative things i cannot actually get into due to spoilers.

"how much of an impact could these small changes actually have?"

well this is anecdotal, but me (and many other people i know) who originally played 999 on the ds and thought it was a masterpiece, years later went on to play the port version and thought "huh. it was still good, but it's like the magic was gone. i guess it's just not as good as i remembered, one of those things that doesn't hold up to your memories of it."

and then we replayed the ds game. and found out that the game we remembered DOES still exist! it's just as fantastic, the magic IS THERE. the port just made the game worse!!

anyways, so what were those quality of life changes i mentioned earlier?

in the original ds version of 999, every time you reach an ending you have to start from the beginning of the game again, fast forwarding through the text and replaying the puzzles. (the port changed this to having a flowchart where you can just jump to decision points)

HOWEVER

as someone who Very recently replayed the ds version, i truly don't think this is as much of a pain as you might expect.

skipping text isn't a big deal. yeah it takes a bit, but it's easy to watch a youtube video or something while you're waiting the 5 minutes it takes. using an emulator, you can even speed up the text skipping to an even greater degree. if you can't physically hold down the button, you can probably find something to hold it down for you, and on an emulator you can rebind the key to be something easier to do that with (like the space bar)

redoing puzzles isn't a big deal either. not only do you still have to redo some puzzle rooms in the port version anyway, it can be pretty fun to figure out how to essentially speedrun rooms you've done before, and you don't redo them that many times (i would recommend a walkthrough anyway for deciding which endings to get, so making that redo time even shorter is a bonus).

if you really need the accessibility of voice acting, i would genuinely recommend watching an LP of the ds version instead. yes, i really do think some guy from 10 years ago reading out the text will give you a better experience than a genuinely good cast of voice actors reading the port's.

btw, if you're scared off at the prospect of reading a little more now without being able to choose adventure mode... if you've played danganronpa (and most of you did!) 999 is shorter, faster-paced, and has LESS READING.

okay im done.

i'd recommend THIS WALKTHROUGH, even if you don't want to use it for the puzzles, it'll give you good info for how to get each ending (especially recommended for true ending), and a general order to do them in. i'd recommend doing getting all the endings (except coffin, which is just the true end cut short) EDIT: thank you to tlblitz for recommending this walkthrough, which gives additional hints for the puzzles instead of just telling you solutions outright

if you've already played 999 (or are just curious about specifics), this video details all the changes mentioned here and more, and it gets all the way into spoiler territory (it can be nitpicky at points, particularly at the beginning, but maaaan did it open my eyes to everything i had subconsciously picked up on in playing the port)

EDIT

i forgot to mention. if you emulate the game, there's a visual glitch that messes up the sprites a little, but you can fix it really easily! in DeSmuME, go to Config>3D Settings and set the renderer to OpenGL

also, here's a mod that increases the text speed, if you find that bothers you.

and i figure i should put my reasons for not just tolerating, but loving the hassles that come from the ds version onto the base post (reposted from another reblog)

major major 999 spoilers below (and some vlr spoilers too)

-----------

to me, one of the coolest aspects of 999 (and zero escape in general) is how much the experience of playing it reflects the narrative

the final twist isn’t just that the text on the bottom screen has been akane, but that you’ve been playing as HER the entire game, not junpei (and with turning the ds upside down for the sudoku, you finally do so for the first time)

in the narrative, you spend basically the entire runtime getting to know her as June, but in the ludonarrative, (the actual Playing the game) you get to know her as Zero. and those annoying bits are a big part of that.

every time akane reaches her death in a timeline, she has to go back to the beginning and start over, because that’s how her powers work. she has to redo all the puzzles, has to wait through all the dialogue until she gets to a point where she can nudge junpei to another route. (in vlr, sigma+phi have a flowchart not just because it’s more convenient, but because that’s how Their powers work).

so subtly, without noticing, you start to reach her point of view. the first time you see the ninth man die it’s shocking and horrific, but even just on your second playthrough the horror doesn’t affect you much. for junpei and everyone else, these sequences are just as terrifying in every route but not for you, cause you’ve seen them before. you can’t be affected by them in the same way, what matters now is the futures you haven’t seen yet.

speedrunning puzzles by skipping the clues and zoning out while you wait for the dialogue to finish aren’t just game things, but diagetic events, of akane going through the motions of something she’s done over and over.

when i replayed the ds version recently (something i hadn’t done in a LONG time), i felt so close to akane in a way i never did in the port, because i’d been through the same experience as her. i understood how she could be such a kind and sensitive person who rationalizes away putting all these people she loves through all those the moment to moment horrors in pursuit of a timeline where she and everyone she care about lives, because i’d become detached to them through repetition too.

i completely understand why people wouldn’t enjoy that, but i’m a pretentious gamer who LOVES when mechanics are technically “worse” in a way that is characterful or thematic. so the frustrating bits of 999 add to that experience much more than they detract from it for me haha

for never have i ever: amnesia?

HIII thank you both <333

never have i ever written amnesia, believe it or not, even though i'm a HUGE fan, as in, it's my number one bestie. actually, no, i sort of have to take that back...i've lowkey written amnesia INTO larger stuff, but never an amnesia fic on its own. so there's been: a couple of da kmeme fills with fenris who has amnesia (they're lost to the sands of time now), ben originally had amnesia during his djinn dream in @cambionverse (but it got cut and revised), and i wrote derek as having amnesia about his encounters with jennifer in anchor. but not an Actual Amnesia Fic. every time i try to think about how i'd want to do it i sort of...blank out? there's so many ways to do it i get too excited and want to do all of them at once and then something else comes along and grabs my attention. i can't tell you how many times i tried to toss around a leverage amnesia fic and just couldn't settle anywhere.

so, just off the top of my head, as a thought experiment...i'd want it to be trek because that's what i'm into rn. i actually started to formulate this as a generations fixit (kirk in the nexus can't remember his old life/that he died/something something + spock and bones pull him out) but there's a small, small, SMALL chance i might ACTUALLY write a generations fixit (sans amnesia, sadly) so i don't want to do it here and accidentally make myself less likely to do it fr in the future.

my second choice is kira/odo because i have been thinking about them nonstop for a WEEK, possibly longer. since you can't have amnesia without brainwashing, i would have odo get mindwiped and carted back to the founders or whatever. and since it's my fic and i can do what i want odo remembers like, ds9's weak points and security routines but he doesn't remember any of the people or being friends with them. so he's like helping the bad guys do evil bad guy stuff or whatever and then when the good guys are almost beat they board the defiant and he and kira are fighting until she says something important and just as she's about to go down for good he oh my fucking god i'm just rewriting the winter soldier. god damn it. maybe this is the real reason i've ever done an amnesia fic. embarrassing. winter soldier wasn't the thing that introduced me to a love of brainwashed amnesiac assassins but it is the thing that made me crazy about them. ANYWAY. let me try again.

so odo gets his memories wiped so he'll return to that great collective or whatever. and he learns what it means to Be A Changeling. he can perfect the human face like that other evil changeling that i hate. so he doesn't look like odo anymore when he changes into a humanoid form, but also he doesn't do that because THEY only did that to communicate with him and kira, so he doesn't even NEED a humanoid form. and he's like yay im so happy here i love being a changeling :) except when somebody stumbles onto their asteroid or he needs to open a door or whatever requires a humanoid form...he just winds up becoming kira. and maybe he catches sight of his/kira's face in the reflection on the water or something and is like Whoa...who is That and that other changeling lady is like dw about it come back to the goop so he does but he also keeps insisting he can't have made that form w/o seeing her and he wants to know where. and since he's got such a good sixth sense about solving unsolved mysteries he solves his own mystery of who he is and how he got there. meanwhile the ds9 gang are searching EVERYWHEREEE for him and when they finally go check the asteroid odo goes out to meet them in kiraform and is very surprised to see. kira. and everybody else is like who tf is this why is this changeling pretending to be kira but kira knows Right Away it HAS to be odo and so they recognize each other even when they aren't able to recognize each other, which is basically the same thing that happened when they met. and odo either intimidates that other changeling into giving his memories back or he remembers on his own and they leave together and live happily ever after.

WHEW. you guys thought you were throwing me softballs but i was sweating bullets over that thing. kiraodo winter soldier au would be fun as hell though don't lie

[ASK MEME]

IM OKAY

This is gonna be long, bear with me

Come sit with me, Bunbun, I brought hot cocoa (and also liquor if you need it)

First of all, thank you. I don't think I say it enough, but thank you, thank you, thank you. If it wasn't for you, I don't think I would have gotten into writing JJK stuff nearly as quickly as I did. Your writing continues to get me all fluffy and happy, and encourages me to keep writing

There's something about like...medical angst that's just different. I dunno how to put it. Maybe I get edgy sometimes and get the urge to write my own medical angst, but I'm always so nervous about getting it wrong, so I'm definitely delighted to see how you do it. Especially considering your knowledge! I do my best to research and understand, but it's still one of those things that makes me a bit nervous as I don't want to represent anything incorrectly

Next

I don't think that different forms of grief are shown a lot, one of which includes sex, so I'm happy to see a new depiction of grief in a story. Especially coming from you! I admire you a lot for a bunch of reasons ❤️ it always fascinates me to see how the thoughts of other people process and appear on paper (or text), and I get so damn giddy when you post a new update (or in general) because it's, like...there's one of my fav authors! You make me fangirl, damnit.

This whole chapter was just a wild ride, from the boys struggling, like Satoru taking it out on Sugaru (pls give the man some extra love and kisses :( ) to just the whole chaos, to Mama Darling, TO THE FUCKIN PREGNANCY REVEAL?? THEN THE LOSS???? AAAAAA THAT HIT LIKE A SUCKER PUNCH, the boys were SO close to being papas :c </3 hhhhhhhh your writing is so good but FUCK I weep for each baby involved, literal and emotional </3 I know I gotta be patient but I can’t wait for them to get back on that baby-making grind. I’ll be a good girl, I swear, so I’ll dream whilst I wait for another gift from you

Next next

Whenever I think about posting my stories, I get nervous because I'm a shy, praise-whore of a bean, but it's also because I wanna make a good impression on someone who I love and look up to reading my stuff. Like, "this author is so good, I hope they like my writing, too," type of deal. I'm bad at articulating my own feelings BFKFBFKDN I’m so antsy about you reading my fic because I want you to like it aaaaaaa (mildly related, I did a TINY rewrite of the pianist!Satoru fic to make it better, and by tiny I mean that I just went back in with a thesaurus lmao)

Lastly! 

I'm okay! I'm a strong girl, I got this, I CAN DO IT FOR YOU

AND I DID!

I can do it for your writing because it's worth it! Plus, crying can be very cathartic! I very much approve of using writing/reading as an emotional outlet to vent out one's feelings and get that sweet, sweet catharsis. The only part I don't like about crying is how stuffy my nose gets. I'm unable to blow my nose because it plugs my ears hardcore which drives me insane and makes me dizzy, but otherwise it can be so freeing. Even if the heart hurts, I know you have the power to mend the cracks and breaks with lacquer and gold dust

It makes me happy that you consider my heart, by the way ❤️ don't be afraid to write whatever your heart desires, even if it hurts! I know we'll be here for each other through and through to heal our souls 

(P.S. you're beautiful, both inside and out ❤️ yellow suits you, like the sun 💛)

BABY!!!!! My sweet girl. I was waiting for when you’d forgive me enough for that hell of a chapter I promise heaven is coming soon.

Okay, let’s talk about it.

1. Hi, you don’t ever have to thank me for writing. Your loyal readership, constant support, and incredible, insightful comments are thanks enough. You are one of my favorites, I do hope I’ve made it abundantly clear.

2. Medical angst is god tier. Its raw. Its omnipresent. With your technical writing skill you’d carry it out, flawlessly.

3. You always make me blush like a fool when you compliment my work in ways I don’t deserve 😭😭😭 I’ve already warned you! Affection means I fall first and hard and that’s a natural disaster for all parties involved??? In all seriousness, the way you respond to my words on paper is…probably one of the most beautiful things to come out of this hobby I picked up last October.

4. You are insanely talented. Tether me is incredible. My commentary is in my drafts because I wrote as I read. You’ll be receiving a full, unhinged review tomorrow. And to this day, Pianist! Satoru takes the cake for my favorite take on that boy.

5. I know you’re strong. And you can take what I dish out. It doesn’t stop the pause I have before I hit publish 😅 there are a few of you. With pretty, pretty tender souls that I know have put me in time out at least a time or two with the recent infusion of angst/hurt. Quietly I wonder if you guys will come back to me. I’ve been lucky so far that you always do.

Whew, getting me a lil emotional. To my curly haired soulmate - I adore you, thank you for being here and being you 💕

fic recs from many fandoms (MILD SPOILERS)

these are based off my likes personally and are in no way any form of review i suck at reviews

WoF

the dragon and the scavenger by wobblywyvern. one of the first fics i ever read. unfortunately unupdated since sep 2020, and im still crying over it. cliffball best ship.

finding peace by warrior of spectra. another one of the first fics i ever read. finished, very good, raging over cliff/peacemaker not being real but thats me.

different threads by firehawk1100. darkstalker/indigo. i like it better than shadow of the mind (his other fic, winterwatcher). just. beautiful. i suck at reviewing but its good trust me

diamonds fall and fates change by fabokraken. our first ao3 fic, woo!! the others except finding peace are also on ao3, but i found them on ffn and thus that site goes first. its adorable. its fucking adorable. i love arctic and foeslayer so much. i love not-evil darkstalker. i love everything. darlie is my beloved.

wings of fire: changing seasons by fatespeaker. actually a whole series. winter, therefore automatic win. the characters and the plot just... interact so well. the intrigue. it all.

Warriors

tinystar's beginning by twilidramon. i havent read this one in forever but. scourge!! my beloved. its good, i remember.

second chances and a scourge upon fate by deerlyqueery. more scourge!! we love our edgy boi. and we love making him gay!!!!

a spark from starclan, rusty's skyclan and collars and claws by salmonfang. theyre completely separate, and you should read their other works too, but these are the ones i read (albeit in diminished form because. lazy ykyk). there is, something. about this writing. beloved

blackfire: book one by xenonex. theres art, its adorable and fluffy, its also filled with drama, rarepair, everything

exile by mallowstep, aerial-jace and kudossi. something that holds terrible and beautiful memories for me (personal reasons). but just, the whole idea. the emotion, the vibes. the it all. this is the one that spawned the way i style my works, because i fucking vibe with the vibe so much, and ive turned it into a very different beast, but here it is. the core, one great part of my writing story. read it its so good

The Dragon Prince

(only 2 because ive read about zero tdp fanfics, it doesnt actually have any dragons smh)

the devil you thought you knew by strangefake. aaravos. AARAVOS. MAGIC EXPOSITION. PHILOSOPHY. BLURRY GOOD AND EVIL. DELICIOUS. wonderful as hell holy shit

sun fueled rage by photoniccyclone. sol regem takes over the world and we have to stop him. ungodly long chapters, lots of scenes, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst.

thats it but i know newt wouldnt let this list go without me adding my zanrex fic, the stars were forever bright for us, which im actually somewhat proud of. the cracks are showing, but they always do. also, you, the reader of this post, make some tdp dragon-centric fanfic. we're fucking starving.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon

the history of this fandom and its works is long and expansive and storied and i have so many recs i would never be able to fit them here (mostly because i havent read like all of them). needless to say, we've started making our own content in overdrive at the lack of new shit.

the entire pmd writer's union collection. im in this server. fics are top-notch, environment is top-notch, except when it isnt for me and me personally. if one wishes to join i may or may not be allowed to give you a link. anyways, the ones ive read are down below, and are all in the collection (duh!)

warped skies by team ion. linked is the arc 1 rewrite, the original is here. its beautiful. its a trainwreck of emotions, and i havent started on arc 3 yet (thats the good shit). the chapters are extremely long, the characters are extremely good, i shill it everywhere, i love this fic and i havent even gotten halfway through. its the other main influence on my writing, although more in ambition and inspiration than in actual style like exile. hell, i started DoP because of it. the post is out there somewhere. its just. it is. it is, it is. i think you can see a common theme with my ineptitude at describing fics, but. read it. read it. masterpiece

daily life in pokemon paradise by kitsu-19. gates slice of life. beautiful characters. the moguls and swift and it all. its. its so interesting, and full of life, and you fall in love with the characters. it feels so much more alive. i cannot describe shit. read it, youll get what i mean.

royal replacement by turkeyuwu. gay. politics. legal document(s?) (just the one so far). great masquerade. untrained alolan vulpix uses light that burns the sky. plot inspired by a chinese webnovel, so you just know its gonna be batshit insane and ridiculous. i find myself incapable of describing shit at the moment. read it

My Little Pony

fuck it, we're going all in.

equestria at war, by EaW dev team. unlike all the others, this one requires about $200 to fully unlock. its a hoi4 mod, and its beautiful. griffonian empire best.

changing expectations by kkslider. buggos!! buggos!!!!! more importantly, actual mlp fic with gay in it! long, so many plottwists, phasma is our beloved slightly traumatised changeling king, actual history and lore, alcoholic celestia, pictures!! READ

afraid of the light by binibean. celestia trauma from all that bullshit. angst. somethings not right. i love these stories.

night wing by gravity012. guy gets SIed into a big immortal magic birb. stuff falls apart, he goes on adventures with celestia and luna, changelings and thestrals are very cuddly. so fluffy. until it isnt.

then it becomes very sad.

(also he freezes the tree of harmony for making nightmare moon happen. badass)

this is a fucking long list.

UPDATE: I FORGOT TO GIVE A LINK TO BLACKFIRE @xenomane FORGIVE ME

A LOT of people can relate to crowley because his doubt in God manifested as rebellion and apostasy. Ive not talked to a high number of good omens fans but i can't imagine a lot of devout christians are a hardcore fans of it (or neil gaiman in general lbr). Crowley is immediately relatable bc his religious trauma is made of the same stuff as most fans.

But aziraphale shows the other side to Doubt and that's just incessant faith. He believes in God's Plan even when he doubts it. Even when it hurts innocent people because he believes that god will do good.

As for the heaven and archangel side of things like..I think a lot of people blame aziraphale for the end of s2 without realizing that... both crowley and aziraphales relationship with heaven mirrors that of an abusive parent/family.

I mean we all saw gabriel tell (who he thought was) aziraphale to shut up and die. This was ONE instance we were able to see of Aziraphale being given punishment. He mentions in Paris about heaven admonishing him for 'frivolous miracles' when crowley asks him why he didnt just leave the prison himself. Like. there are so many jokes about 'paperwork' for being discorporated and well. Theres something to be said for aziraphale being more willing to deal with the aftermath of being beheaded and needing a new body than to unlock his cuffs and save himself and risk upstairs citing him again.

Then there was the whole gabriel bringing sandalphon to the bookshop and using interrogation tactics on him (blocking the exit, putting sandalphon at his back, etc). The angels are so quietly malicious- "there are no back channels, michael"- right before michael phones a demon in hell. Like!! They might be inept when it comes to humanity but they hide their cruelty so well.

Like. I dont really have the words to make this all convincing and proper or whatever and im sure someones said it before and better with more examples but like

If you think of both of them as a victim of abuse, it puts it all into perspective doesnt it? The effects of abuse are so different for everyone especially when its abuse from family. Aziraphale has only ever wanted to appease heaven and do good by them that when given the chance to do the most good he jumped right on it. Heaven has sunk its claws deep into aziraphale to use as a tool. And aziraphale doesnt even realize! Bc if he werent "doing good" then he'd have been cast out like crowley had been, right?!

And Crowley was completely cut off from heaven for asking a few questions! He remembers what heaven was like and thinks there are a number of similarities between the two. Hes been utterly convinced of his wickedness. He will not ever return not even with the promise of forgiveness. He HAS seen that heaven is "toxic" because of the absurd reason he was cast out in the first place. He was a starmaker who asked questions!! And god was what. Annoyed at being challenged?

Crowley got out because he was cast out, aziraphale hasnt been granted that luxury and wont take those steps bc who knows if the punishment will be a simple Fall or annihilation or outer darkness there doesnt seem to be any set standard. And also aziraphale still loves god and doing good and to fall would mean to be cut off from all of that to have to go to hell and do the exact opposite. If he can just change things, if he could get the other archangels to see,

Well he hasnt quite discovered that heaven works exactly how its intended to and would need to be torn down before it can be rebuilt into something like aziraphale wishes it to be

Idk i get why its easy to blame aziraphale but. Idk ive been where hes at. Like. Not specifically and angel trying to rewrite heaven but. As a child of religious parents who were also terribly abusive people. I think its unfair that people are saying he should grovel and is wrong and whatever. I dont think crowley would even want that....

Idk im just thinking v hard about good omens its taking over my life. This is probably incomprehensible im just. SAD bc i love both aziraphale and crowley and for aziraphale to be given so much shit when it isnt entirely on him just makes me emotional ok 😔

predictions for what i believe is the inevitable rocky horror broadway revival next year for the 50th anniversary of the film bc i need to do this:

either stunt cast frank (tired) or Known Broadway Name as frank. my money is on J Harrison Ghee-- and i want to see it! they would actually be quite good in the role! this will be the productions #diversity moment

though would not be shocked if the only darker skinned person on the cast was magenta in a classic broadway only casting dark skinned poc in roles that arent romantic or are literal maids and people who are tragic and unconnected to the rest of the cast blunder (think: eponine style)

could very easily see either unknown brad and janets or famous actor brad unknown janet. if they cast ben platt. i will be kicking down some doors. but also they wont cast him bc brad actually isnt a very Star Power role given the fact that his one song is very unknown and also sucks so bad (though i wouldnt count it out). this is despite the fact that i think that the role of brad and janet is so well suited to be unknowns.

eddie will be a stunt cast because it's easy, and so will the criminologist, though i wouldnt be shocked if crim wasnt.

riff raff will be played by a rock singer potentially also very famous. look the way that broadway has been trending i am not too hopeful that this wont be one of those star studded cast that doesnt really mesh type things (real ones know what im talking about).

OR they will invoke demons and recast reeve carney as riff raff. he will not be any better this time

its going to be played tongue in cheek we know this is campy isnt this plot so stupid as opposed to taking the show seriously for what it is and the reasons people love it

they're not going to rewrite anything and get cancelled by 15 year olds and terminally online queer discoursers

despite everything, the show will be good, but it will leave you feeling like something was off on the account of it just feeling a little soulless (read: stunt casting focus) but a good night

outside props will be banned from the theater except for the two that they will make you pay for as an extra fee

there will be at least one minor breakaway star from an unknown they cast in the show who is nominated for a tony but doesnt win (possibly the magenta actress)

it'll be on broadway for a slightly less than a year, but no longer than 13 months

the set is also going to be awesome. they're going to make a really cool lab set with lots of gadgets to fuck around with and

the costumes are unfortunately going to miss the mark and be simultaneously uninspired and perhaps TOO inspired by something they really should not be inspired by. the phantom costumes will be a disaster, but everyone else's will be serviceable. if they dont give frank a floor show change i WILL be deeply upset.

overall, i think this will be another example of a show with good performances and set pieces that trick audiences into thinking its a good show, though i desperately want to be proven wrong. but we'll see! hopefully they actually bring the show back next year im sure SOMEONE has thought of a way of bringing it its just a question of will it carry through. i will be sad if it doesnt happen.

what do you think abt the implied lgb characters/relationships in genshin (and other hyv games if you play them)? feel like it's always a topic of discourse amongst players wrt to whether it's meant to be genuine lgb representation or if it's just fanservice/fetishization/aimed at straight people but recently i have seen people on twt deny that censorship is the reason hyv can't have explicit gay relationships which is silly and also quite ironic considering the jeht quest w dialogue differences for lumine recently got changed to be less intimate. personally i find the implied relationships to be genuine n not just fanservice but i do like most of the popular genshin ships and think it's nice they have so many interactions and content so maybe i'm biased.

its definitely censorship and its pretty obvious. didn't they just have to rewrite some random background lore too the other day bc a gay relationship could be interpreted (not including the Jeht stuff, and I think we may have seen the same tweets anon lol), despite it really not being so and easy to read as just friendship. the fact they had to change it up many months of its release, after however it was brought to the attention of higher-ups, shows theres definitely someone or some authority that wants to censor any inkling of gay and lesbian relationships from genshin. im not familiar w other hoyo games, but aren't bronya and seele more explicitly lesbians in honkai?

but like come on you gotta be stupid to think ships like beidou and ningguang or alhaitham and kaveh aren't very clear in their attempts to bypass censorship and hint as heavily as possible. there was this good thread awhile back analyzing how beidou and ningguang fit "traditional" chinese lesbian narratives that was quite interesting, like there's obviously deep thought into how these relationships are portrayed. alhaithams VA literally had to redo a line about/to Kaveh bc it sounded too suggestive or romantic or something lmao, but he was just going off of what he could tell their relationship was implying. kaveh's VA also said the same of how he asked if his lines were about/to Alhaitham so he could voice it way differently bc their relationship was so hilariously exes vibes. like hoyo does a pretty good job at making their hinted gay and lesbian relationships easy to spot to an average person, it at least makes you go "wait a minute" and that seems to be the best they're able to get away with under whatever censorship theyre dealing with.

Transfem CWilbur hcs. Now.

why anon i am so glad you would honor me with this request

i think that cwilbur would probably keep her name because she looked up like name meanings and shit and was like hoooolllyyy shit my name is cool as fuck actually. i do also like the idea of her having a name based off of one of wilburs songs though. i admittedly misremembered vienna as sienna but i think both are cute so either of those also work as names for her

cwilbur to me is very like. obviously she knows about trans people her son is trans (i also like to see cclingy as trans but ctommy would have not transitioned yet and ctubbo just doesnt think to tell anyone if they dont think its necessary) and shes very proud of him! but shes also like. well at least fundy enjoys being a man because i sure dont this is miserable and everyone within a 5 mile radius immediately raises an eyebrow. i think being in pogtopia fucked her up about it because she started seeing people as being Afraid of her and for a reason she couldnt place being a Big Scary Crazy Man hurt in more ways than one but she was spiralling too hard to really analyze those feelings

and then in limbo all she Has is her own thoughts. and she comes back and shes manic and she considers telling everyone but but but but. tommy is looking at her with a shocked expression and tubbo isnt even talking and the new kid is trying to shield tubbo from her and suddenly all the feelings from pogtopia start rushing back and shes like oh. not enough to stop the mania but enough to sting hard enough, like a pin that she puts in the thought itself for another time

i thought the utah reveal was very funny. i also wish wilbur got to talk to more people, and i think that itd be interesting for him to talk to ghostboo whos like god i was SO scared for people to know this "real me", the me that everyone would be scared of, but now that i dont care about any of that anymore im free!! and wilbur would also talk to like. idk various others including more genuine convos with eret and with all of it eventually shes able to get to a calm resolution of. i need to be somewhere else when things are good enough that i can leave

and cdream dies (<-fully talking in terms of my rewrite now) and wilbur makes sure tommy is okay and everything and Then something similar to the utah reveal but like. slightly less mentally ill happens. wilbur is still sorta vague and tommy gets panicked and pissed thinking wilburs about to commit suicide again and wilburs like oh god no i just. i need to be somewhere else to change without everyones eyes on me. i dont like this me i think theres something deep inside me thats broken and im trying to repair it but i cant repair it if im This me. and tommy talks about how its all just One wilbur, just going through changes like everyone else but tommy and the people who matter love wilbur, no matter what kind of wilbur hes being, because hes still himself and thats the person they love, no general or president or ghost from the past, just wilbur. whoever he wants that person to be yada yada

and it sort of Clicks for wilbur in a sense. oh, this is all just one me, and im in charge. and people stick by me because im me no matter how much i change. and i think i know what changes i need to make (around this point is like. i think this would trigger the acceptance of ghostbur in a sense. i have complicated feelings about the ghosts but just know he and wilbur would truly be the same person through and through now). but i still need to go away for a bit. just a little. and tommy trusts her and she leaves for a bit and takes hrt and takes a while just to know that she likes the changes and when she does know she likes the changes she decides ok. this is who i want to be. this is Me. and comes back eventually to heal with everyone else too

misc hcs: i think she would actually prefer relying on hrt and breast forms to full top surgery. also dont think hed care about bottom surgery. she would still like her big coats and sweaters but she'd also wear skirts more often. maybe not dresses though unless its a formal event. also think she would grow out her hair a bit but not that much. in general like.. she doesnt change That much. shes still wilbur soot. but shes happier now and she looks more comfortable, like this is the self that she wants to be. i think she would feel like whatever broke inside her was slowly being patched back together

(and eventually, she realizes there was never anything broken about her in the first place. and she sits on a balcony and she still gets an intrusive thought about jumping but she knows she doesnt want to, not anymore. shes alive, and shes herself, and shes making the most of it.)

need help for rewrite

so ... im still stuck trying to decide who fits what sage role best, mainly its a tie between purah and monk miz kyoshia for the role of spirit sage, current plan is that the spirit temple is located beneath the forgotten plateau and is accessed via shrine of life/the DLC dungeon from kyoshia but its broken and leads into the temple

purah pro

female character in a mostly male cast in the sages roles

tech enthusiast = tie in with mineru

kinda hinted at in the game to be a sage but then isnt (imo)

possible tie in with josha so she actually gets something to do

possibly fun companion for a dungeon

con

already gives link his shiekah prosthetic arm and its abilities + upgrades

doesnt seem that spiritual all things considered

what would her ability be?/would a guardian laser fit her??

doesnt seem to have any magical capability without her tech (then again does mineru?)

monk kyoshia pro

hes cool :)

very spiritual

would be a very unexpected choice

located right where the temple starts

can do a guardian laser just like that

having a floaty mummy monk in the sage meeting would be kinda funny

possibly having funny interactions with koga as he/the yiga seem to take after the original shiekah alot before they were split (plus my HC of koga having been a monk from the same time as well ... should they know each other ..??)

con

he was a DLC character

another male character, making zelda and riju be the only sages

duplicated moveset with koga, what would be the most logical ability to gain from him and in turn whats more iconic for koga? (as in AoC tho non canon koga does a laser thingy too, would be neat to pick that up here, then again kyoshia and koga both teleport like nobodies business)

lore clash bc he should know too much, he could tell everyone whats going on robbing away alot of the mystery (and if not mentioned, is there a good excuse?) plus would render alot of the research into new tech useless bc he might know all of that .. unless being monk doesnt mean also knowing the tech ..

possibly less fun companion for a dungeon

additionally, zelda mainly being the sage of light (perhaps the time thing being just an inate thing the shiekah arm can do bc its a more developed version of the stasis rune) could also mean she could do a laser attack as we see rauru do, then again the moldora attack is not part of the rewrite so if ever used by rauru its when he and ganondorf fight one on one in one of the new memories which brings up the problem of what would be the most logical ability to gain from either, is the teleport the yiga do not a little .. to little impactful for someone like koga? also kyoshia can do the same, again a moveset overlap and .. if it was purah instead, what is her ability (same problem with paya, she doesnt have any ability either .. tho i could imagine giving you a shield like sidon does in canon and change sidon ability to be something healing related bc of mipha?)

if i took kyoshias ability to make clones of himself as an ability (since you dont have the sages running around you in the rewrite) as a distraction tech and battle support, would it fit koga more to have a laser attack or the teleport? i kinda like the idea of giving zelda the laser attack bc she rarely gets an overly offensive role

more thoughts, if it was kyoshia, couldnt he just waltz around with you all the time bc he doesnt have any leadership roles he needs to furfill? or perhaps he cant leave the area of the shrine of life, hes a mummy after all, would that be a good excuse? (thought about impa too bc it would be cool to have an old character kicking ass in the main team, but after giving her role to paya she doesnt have any reason why she wouldnt be able to tag along everywhere too)

Technecly a info post

So! We meet again tumblr interface! I slightly understand it better now!--

About me! The "artist"

Ok ok, hummmm I dont know how I should start this rewrite but!

The name's Sin! Im a very friendly and probably way to hype artist! Well actually I aint a artist yet, but Im getting there!!

Im a undertale fan! Basicly the only fandom Im actually in--

I have alot of ocs becouse I cant stop imagining things! About 8 ocs not even going to lie-- but I have alot of aus about them and timelines!!

I would love to talk to anyone!! So dont be shy to try! Thats my job--

Ummmm whats else?- ah yes AI art sucks. Its my opinion so ill put it here! Its ok if you get a idea and generate a Imagine to give you a base idea for how it'd look but people who say the ai's art is theyres or trace it- theyre just- "I wont grace it with a discription"

Lastly but not less inportant! Remember to stay positive reader!! I always do and you can too!! >:3

Some rules

Be friendly and polite please! Hehe, its tumblr not twitter-

You dont need to ask if you want to use one of my cherecters for something, thought id say this here since I know some people tend to want to ask when they want to do sth before hand, Id just like to see for what you are usein em hehe ^^

Dont steal my art- please? Becouse I dont think its good enough to be stolen yet but, id cringe so hard if someone did, please avoid that!-

Well lastly I dont want anyone showing or making nsfw content about anything of mine- here its a strict [no nsfw] place!

CONTENT!

This blog contains Drawings, Random things, Reblogs of awesome stuff and Writeing ✨️\(òv ó\) Yesh, I can do that too aperently!! ("#my art" and "#my story"/"#writing")

Youll eventually hear snipits of the "rp timeline" that timeline isnt canon but it also is at the same time for my characters keep a eye out for that info buds ;3

Randomness! becouse Im kind of unpredictable when it come to motivation, what I draw and things I want to do! Though thats one of the reasons Ill never open commissions or requests PFFFT :3

Answering asks! I love getting asks! Always make my day! Dont be shy to ask anything you want! Even if its for my ocs to answer! Actually its ok to be shy just do it when you think you are ready! ^^

Alternet blogs

Sin's little blog [Thoughts, Randomness and Cheos >:3]

Ask-SMultiverse [Unsure]

List of Ocs

Aus not included

Things I am adding here

So! That was basicly it! Hope you have a great day!!

actually…. now that im having thoughts on clear sky in my au as an overarching antagonist… i wanted to put a dotc character in the dark forest that is there solely for unfair reasons that clear sky can harp on throughout the series as this manipulative disgusting person who is satan incarnate, and everyone buys it bc of the propaganda throughout the decades, only for oots to reveal this character to be like… not a good person, sure, but someone whos just been broken and forced into that position for years. someone who just wants to stop existing entirely now but cant because their memory lives on for all the wrong reasons. and its like… a revelation for ivyleaf that the dark forest is full of despicable evil people, yes, but its also a symptom of a corrupt system that enables a cycle of suffering.

and i was torn on who exactly this cat would be. like, i think gray wing is an obvious and tragic candidate, but i kinda want to keep his status as this “wise sage” who is respected throughout the years but in reality was just a cruel enabler and stickler for the tragedy his brother created. while its cool to rewrite him into the tragic figure people want him to be, i dont think thats where i want to go with him. i was thinking bumble too, but honestly… her story is just SO awful that i really want to give her a happy ending where after shes left for dead, shes found by a nice twoleg who lets her be a bookstore cat. shes used as a fearmongering story for the clans, but she had a peaceful death and was happily put through the reincarnation cycle. one eye is also a good candidate as someone who was basically created to make clear sky look less bad, so i was leaning more towards him…

but the more i think about it, the more i actually think star flower fits the role the best. like, she is treated like dogshit in canon and her “crime” of letting her dad know hes gonna get assassinated is treated as equal to or worse than clear skys war crimes. even in the fandom, while i know its not at all meant as an insult, shes seen as a manipulative villain who has horrible intentions and wants to cause chaos. when in reality, shes also a victim of clear sky.

i dont think she has his kits in this au, nor is there gonna be a father/son love triangle plot, but she is still romantically involved with clear sky in a fucked up cycle of abuse way. and i think what happens is that she takes away some of his lives, maybe even his last, when she finally reaches her limit and assassinates him, to avenge herself and her father. shes placed in the dark forest and this story is rewritten as a cautionary tale against letting outsiders into the clan- theyll manipulate their way to the top, and try to rot the clan from within.

her name may be something different in the dark forest, something correlating to “rot”. like “rotting flower” or something.

i realize i did a little tangent about not wanting bumbles suffering to be dragged out while… kinda doing that to star flower instead. but like ok at least star flower will get some W’s i think. i’ll let her double kill thistleclaw as a treat or something.

for the fic writer asks!!

5, 9, 13, 15, 29?

hi hi aayo!!

[questions were here]

5. So, a while back, I was spitballing with my friends about Pokemon Black/White & the sequel, because I love those games, those are my childhood Pokemon games, and the story is so close to brilliant I can taste it. It would just need a little touching up, I swear, adjust a motivation here, add some more scenes there... But see the thing is, doing that would take. A While. and I just don't think I have the patience to do a full rewrite of a Pokemon game from 2010 so it'll probably remain an idea.

9. Yes! I do! I try to do a few hundred words a day, every day. Depending on how bad my depression is, I can be pretty consistent about it and get a lot done. And I did manage to do a little today for that nsfw lucifer/raphael fic I'm working on! Let's see here. Ahem. "Waiting, a front of perfect obedience betrayed by how hard he’s clenching his hands together behind his back to keep from touching himself." :) I am. doing things. to luci.

13. It depends on the fic. Some of them, I want to say Last Call and could have been anyone, anyone are good examples, start writing themselves in my head with absolutely no warning, and I have to jump to the nearest thing to jot down the sentences before they disappear forever. Others, like Honey, Don't Feed It, have literally been turned over in my brain for more than a year, twisted and changed until I've gotten a fic I actually like out of it.

15. Sometimes it's a song title, sometimes it's a line from the fic, sometimes it's 'it is 4am when im posting it and ive already typed up the fucking tags and the summary and i am so so tired whats the closest noun i can think of' and then i slap it on there and call it a day.

29. asjklajdksld my first thought was 'oh you know what fine i'll post what i had of that samifer fic before it gets deleted but uh It Is Literally Entirely Porn. so lets. lets go with something a little more PG, yeah? Not exactly polite of me to throw smut at you without asking.

So instead, have this bit from the original draft of my next Sarah/Lucifer/Nick fic that got cut because I switched the pov character from Sarah to Nick for. Reasons.

Sarah has had a lot more time to paint in the last few months. Enough that muscle memory she thought lost has slowly reappeared, making her hand steadier. Her art hasn’t become more neat as a result, but it has grown purpose in its mess. Her mother always wished she’d take after her grandmother and paint lush green forests and pretty meadows, but Sarah’s brushes led her down a different path. Intricate strokes litter the paper, testing to see how close she can bring the painting to the being curled around her spine before it devolves into a jumbled mess. Lucifer is not an easy muse. Sarah hasn’t managed to paint a piece that does her justice yet.

This one is barely recognizable as anything, more abstract than Sarah’s committed to in a long time. A lot of her paintings of Lucifer start somewhere she understands, with Nick’s face or her own, fragmented to better show the angel that lives inside them, openings in the skin like bloodless wounds through which eyes and feathers and teeth peek through. Someone else might find them terrifying. Nick thinks her paintings of Lucifer are beautiful. Lucifer, of course, is flattered and amused. She watches Sarah paint, enthralled the same way Nick mentioned her being the day he built Teddy’s crib. She hasn’t asked for a turn at the brushes yet, but Sarah hopes she does one day, if only so they can see what she’s capable of creating.

Sarah stretches. There’s no satisfying pop to her spine as she uncurls from her art, but in exchange, there’s also no lingering soreness from staying in one position for too long. Lucifer’s grace pulses, buried somewhere deep, utterly content. Sarah shuts her eyes as though she could listen to her.

Instead, Sarah hears a cry from the other room. She lets her head tilt towards the clock on the wall. It’s been a while since she put Teddy down for a nap. Lucifer is on alert the moment the sound hits Sarah’s ears. She’s still not used to the simple fact that sometimes, babies cry, and it doesn’t mean the world is about to end. Impossible to fathom wings flex under Sarah’s skin. Sarah suppresses a chuckle into a small smile and sets her paintbrush down. It rolls to join its brethren of various sizes, the only commonality between them all the teethmarks at the tip where Sarah chewed when she got frustrated or distracted. Lucifer’s wings flap, a wave of power rolling through Sarah’s body that’s asking one question, whether they can fly to the nursery rather than take the minute long walk there. Sarah lets her consent echo back through Lucifer, bracing herself.

Flight is a cacophony. Flight is like learning what it is to be a photon and forgetting again as her body hits the ground, human toes curling against the fuzz of the nursery carpet. Lucifer recovers like they’ve taken a brisk walk up the stairs. Sarah needs a minute more, as though she’s been thrown under the waves at the beach and needs to figure out which direction is up in order to stand. In his crib, Teddy turns his head to look at them, brown eyes seeking his mother, and when he knows she’s there to hear him, he scrunches up his face and starts crying again.

It’s Lucifer that takes them the first few steps to the crib, but Sarah who reaches down and picks Teddy up.

“Hey, hey, fussy,” she says softly to him, “shh, we’re here now.” Teddy cries out one more time, like he’s making sure she’s not going to put him down and leave once he’s quiet. Sarah rocks him.

“We’re here,” comes another voice from her mouth, still hesitant but less than it has been in a few months. Lucifer raises Sarah’s hand to pet a line down Teddy’s forehead. There’s no more than the ambient hum of her grace beneath Sarah’s skin, but between being held by his mother and watched over by his guardian devil, (Sarah’s mouth curls at the thought, and she can’t tell if it’s her or Lucifer reacting.) he quiets. He keeps frowning, scrunched up eyes and a wrinkled forehead. “Hello, Theodore,” Lucifer says, and it’s at Sarah’s prodding that she finally says, “Teddy.”

He’s a baby, Sarah teases, no need to be so formal.

Names mean something, comes the quick counter.

And this one means you love him. Lucifer hums, finger still drifting in absent circles over Teddy’s face. Teddy latches onto it when it’s near his mouth, and Lucifer freezes. Sarah laughs, and with control of her body falling back to her, it comes out without a care in the world. Teddy makes a frustrated noise when she pulls her finger away.

“That’s better than you needing a diaper change,” Sarah tells him. Teddy babbles at her, sounds that are beginning to have more distinct shapes but mean nothing at all. She’s going to have to put him back down to undo her button-up, or would have to, only Lucifer proves for the hundredth time how much easier parenting is with divine power backing them up. Sarah shifts Teddy around in her arms, enduring the tiny beat of an impatient hand against her chest, until she has him comfortably settled to feed.

He seems so small in her arms. He’s growing fast and will continue to for years and years, a prospect both terrifying and exciting.

It’s a short enough walk to her and Nick’s bedroom from the nursery, and she’s careful not to jostle Teddy while he nurses. There, she can settle down comfortably against the pillows, the blankets tucking themselves up around her legs despite her not reaching for them. It doesn’t do much against the ever-present chill, but Sarah doesn’t want that to go away. Besides, they bundle Teddy up warmly enough.

She does wonder sometimes what it’ll be like as he gets older. If his first words will be ‘dada’ or ‘mama’ or something else entirely, a string of syllables that seem like gibberish to her and Nick but mimic the language that Lucifer sometimes speaks to him off-handedly, the one that makes Sarah’s ears feel like they might pop from pressure if she listens for too long, the one that Teddy reacts to with kicking feet and responsive babbling. If one day Sarah will get teachers telling her about Teddy’s imaginary angelic friend who raised him, both those impressed that he could come up with something so elaborate and those worried that the angel in question is Lucifer herself. Maybe the funniest thing Sarah can imagine is if Nick ever takes little Teddy to church and what kind of menace they might unleash with a child who loves the devil like a mother. That, if it ever happens, is a long ways off, and until then, Lucifer is still the secret held between the three of them.

“You think he’ll still like me,” Lucifer says, dipping her hand into the stream of Sarah’s thoughts, welcomed but nibbled at by the fish that think she really should have asked permission first. Maybe a little hypocritical when Sarah has already let her in, “when he grows up.”

There is, always, this expectation of rejection that lingers in Lucifer’s words. A surprise when she finds connection instead that breaks Sarah’s heart.

“You look after him. You sing to him. You feed him.” Sarah looks down at Teddy, who takes his fill and rests his tiny fist against her skin. This caretaking is a communal effort, after all. “Of course he’ll love you.”

(i am really truly not trying to be rude here, I mean this as a genuine question and i'm really sorry if it comes off incorrectly)

Why do you continue to watch Neverafter and make posts about it when you seem to really dislike the choices the players are making? I'm genuinely interested, i'm not trying to be catty, it's just I personally drop seasons if I dislike the choices the players are making (did that with SSO) whereas you seem really frustrated by their choices but are still watching?

I'm just interested in why you still watch, because I think that's a really interesting difference! Not trying to criticise your choice at all, just curious to your reasoning, if you feel like sharing! (once again, really really hope this doesn't come off as mean, it's a genuine question and I hope I haven't been accidentally rude)

HI SO I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS QUESTION (and don't worry you're all good i understand the curiosity!)

first and foremost, at least for me my posts aren't like. an accurate representation of my overall feelings on an episode bc ur getting a sampling bias of my Strong Enough To Post thoughts. genuinely i have a very good time watching these episodes!! like i think i broke something laughing during pinnochio and cinderella's conversation. and thats mainly why i watch d20! love to laugh and giggle and chuckle etc, i just don't really feel the need to post "wow that was a good joke i'm having fun" bc i feel like that's my baseline d20 experience?

on another level, my greatest passion in this cold world is digging into the themes and intentions of a story and laying everything out and seeing how it works!! critique (or even just kvetching) isn't really an expression of dislike or distaste for me, it's an expression of love--that i care about something enough to figure out what it's trying to do on a thematic level, and analyze where i think it's falling short! i have a whole post ranking which d20 seasons i would do a fullscale rewrite on lmfao--and another key point from that post is that like. while there is Some level of general frustration when stories fail to achieve their full ~potential~ or whatever, it's never something i direct at the players themselves? because like. they're doing comedy improv. of course it's not going to produce the most thematically coherent decisions (unless its TUC, love you TUC, you're perfect). this is why im posting about it on my silly blog instead of like tweeting at them or whatever lol. honestly if i'm exhibiting Frustration its probably at people i see in the tag refusing to entertain more complicated takes. but i could probably stand to chill a bit about that sooo

anyways tldr; still deeply enjoying the season and i also enjoy picking things apart like im doing a story autopsy on the kitchen table (and thank you for asking!!!! <3)