#i just feel so... small and scared and tired.
Note
i saw you wanted tasm Peter requests and I’m here to provide! 😭✨💕
how about a fake dating-ish meet cute where you feel scared walking home bc of some sketchy looking people following you and you grab Peter’s (who lives in the same building as you) hand and ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend and he readily goes along with it bc he’s always had a crush on you. I just think he would be so sweet and worried later when you get home bc you’d looked super scared
AN | No but I love this idea!! It’s sort of a meet-cute!❤️
Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader
Warnings | mild language
Word Count | 2.5k
Masterlist | Main | Peter
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
You weren't drunk.
Not drunk-drunk anyway but mildly tipsy. Or wholly tipsy if you were being completely honest with yourself.
Anyways, that wasn't the problem, at least not entirely. Walking home through New York, late at night and tipsy by yourself, a young woman on her own, probably wasn't the best idea. But the party had dragged on and on and your friends had already left with their…friends for the night, and you were tired, hungry, and bored.
So you decided to walk home. You somehow managed to convince yourself that brisk evening stroll would make you feel better. You hadn't been wrong for the most part but as once you got closer to your apartment building, an uneasy feeling started settling into your stomach.
You looked around, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, but you could see that there were two guys that seemed to be watching you. You ignored it for a bit, but when you noticed that they seemed to cross every street that you could, and turned all the same corners, you grew worried.
Trying to keep the panic at bay and act normal proved to be difficult. You thought for a moment that you might have been paranoid or overreacting but you'd seen enough true crime documents to know that it was better to be safe than sorry.
Your salvation came in the form of the man that lived in the apartment across from you.
You vaguely knew him and were almost positive his name was Peter Parker. You just hoped right now that he'd help.
Speeding up, you caught up to him a few moments, quickly reaching for his arm and stepping in front of him.
“Hi, hi,” your eyes were wide and he immediately grew concerned, “I know we don't really know each but we live in the same building, you're actually across the hall from me. I - this is - can you please pretend to be my boyfriend? Just for a little bit? There's these two guys that have been following me for a while now and I'm-”
“It’s okay,” he whispered, gently cutting you off as he instinctively reached for your hand. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted as you laced your fingers through his and fell into step with him, “I'll take care of you.”
You squeezed his arm, “thank you.”
He nodded and turned around a corner to see the men you were referring to. When he spotted the duo that you had to be talking about, he shot them a warning glare. At a few moments, he could see realization cross their features before they seemingly altered their path.
He made sure to keep an eye out on the rest of the way back to the building. Luckily he didn't see them again. He hoped that they hadn't decided to go and find someone else.
It felt like you could breathe again as you pulled your hand from his and turned to face him. You were taken aback for a moment by how beautiful he was. Sure, you'd been him around the building plenty of times before but you'd never gotten to look at him this closely.
“Thank you,” your voice was soft - gentle - was you offered him a small smile, “I thought that maybe I was going crazy for a bit and then I kept seeing them. I just didn't want anything to happen. Thank you for probably saving me from them. It's, sorry, you're Peter, right?”
“I am,” he nodded as you offered him your hand for a proper shake and introduction. He said your name and you looked at him in surprise, “we've been neighbors a while and I just…caught it sometime. I'm glad I found you too. Are you sure you're okay?”
“I'm cold, hungry, and slightly buzzed but I'm alright,” you promised, “thanks to you. I swear I owe you big time.”
“You don't owe me anything,” he insisted as he started to shrug off his zip-up sweater. He'd noticed the dress you were wearing and wondered if you'd been cold. He held it out to you, causing you to look at him with sweet eyes, “take it. I don't want you to be cold.”
You already knew better than to argue with him so you gratefully it took and slipped it on, immediately overwhelmed by his delicious scent, “thank you, Peter.”
“Do you want to get something to eat?” He wasn't entirely sure if he'd meant to ask, but it just sort of blurted out, “I-I was thinking about ordering some pizza.”
Liar. He was a damned dirty liar. He hadn't thought about pizza but he also hadn't wanted to let you just leave to go to your apartment. Not now, not yet.
“Yeah?” Your face lit up and he nodded shyly. He'd order the whole pizzeria if you wanted just from that smile alone, “that sounds good.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Realistically, you probably shouldn't have just trusted Peter so readily, especially since you'd just had the run-in with the creeps on your walk home. But there was something about Peter that told you that he was trustworthy.
So you didn't hesitate to follow him up the stairs to the floor where both of your apartments were. You stopped instinctively at your door and Peter paused for a moment.
“Listen, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything,” you appreciated the fact that he seemed to be able to read your mind, “do you want to meet on the fire escape once the pizza's here?”
“Yeah,” you nodded softly, “I'll see you in a little bit.”
“Sounds good,” he started to open his door but quickly turned around, “wait! I didn't even ask you what kind of pizza you like.”
Your laugh was pretty as you turned and gave him your requests. He offered you a small salute before both of you went into your respective apartments. You closed the door gently and leaned against it, letting out a small sigh.
This evening had definitely taken a turn that you hadn't been expecting. But somehow, it turned out a lot better than you had imagined. Plus, you finally got to really meet and speak to the cute boy next door. He'd caught your eye from the moment he'd moved into the building, but you'd never quite managed to work up the courage to say anything besides the neighborly hello here and there. And now…now you were wearing his sweater and going to have pizza with him.
You almost danced to your bedroom and spent entirely too much time trying to pick out something comfortable but cute. You wanted to be warm and cozy but didn't want to look like you were trying too hard.
You ended up settling on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but pulled Peter's sweater back on. You wanted to hang onto it for as long as possible. You managed to slide on your slippers as you heard a knock on your door.
“Pull yourself together,” you hissed at your reflection, “and act normal…somewhat normal.”
Slowing your walk to the door, you opened it in an attempt to look casual. Peter had the same idea and had changed into a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. You almost choked on your spit at the sight. What a bastard.
“Ready for some pizza?” You nodded as you followed him towards the fire escape at the end of the hall. He slid open the window and stepped out, offering you his hand to help you. You didn't hesitate to take his hand, trying not think too much about his large his hand was compared to yours, “nice sweater by the way.”
“You better watch it or I'm going to steal it forever,” Peter really liked the sound of your laugh. He wanted to bottle it up and keep it with him forever.
“Keep it,” he insisted sweetly, “looks better on you anyway.”
“Stop,” you groaned as you sat down, gently pushing his side, “that's how you get a girl to call in love with you.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow as his cheeks pinked, “is it working then?”
He didn't know why he felt so bold or what had gotten into him but he was feeling something. Maybe it was just your magnetic presence but there was something about you that made him feel so warm and comfortable.
“Peter,” you weren't about to admit that the answer was yes so you just scoffed and rolled your eyes playfully, “I should have said makes all other girls fall in love.”
“Mhmm,” he opened the pizza box and nudged angled it towards you, “dig in. I hope you like it because it's from one of my favorite places.”
“It better be good then or I'm afraid I'll never speak to you again,” you teased, grabbing a slice and taking a big bite. Peter watched you with an amused as you quickly realized that this was indeed delicious pizza. You quickly finished the rest of the slice before offering him a nod, “alright you've passed this test. The pizza is delicious.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
“It's getting pretty late,” you said softly as you looked at the softly glowing screen of your phone. It was a lot later than you had realized; the two of you had ended up talking for hours, the pizza all but gone, “we should probably head inside.”
“Yeah,” he agreed reluctantly, “you're right.”
“I had a good time though,” you promised as he nodded shyly, “thanks for saving me tonight…and all of this. It's times like this that remind me that not all people are terrible.”
“It's no problem,” he insisted, “I'm glad I was there when you needed me. I had a good time tonight, regardless of how we got here.”
“Me too,” you offered his shoulder a squeeze before heading back inside and waiting for him to do the same, “I'll see you around, Peter.”
“See you around,” the two of you went into your respective apartments and you quietly shut the door, trying to hold in your sounds of excitement. Your night had taken a complete 180 but you weren't complaining. You'd been wanting to meet the boy for the last couple of years and now that you'd gotten to spend some time with him, you only wanted more.
The question then was - how do you spend more time with Peter Parker without making it obvious you might have fallen in love with him?
You’d figured that out sometime later. Right now you were going to soak all of the good feelings you had into your body as you went to bed.
Little did you know that just across the hall, Peter was doing the exact thing.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
You tried to run into Peter after that evening whenever you could. You would slowly leave for work in the morning and then take your sweet time coming home in the hopes that you would run into him somewhere in the building. But over the next couple of weeks, you managed to have no luck. It suddenly seemed like he had an opposite schedule of yours. For a moment you wondered if it was on purpose, but you knew that he wouldn’t do that.
Peter was hoping for the same thing; work and his…extracurricular activities kept him busier than ever. He had to be at the lab early in the mornings and often wasn’t coming home till the midnights hours. There were a few times when he’d contemplated knocking on your door, even if he just got to see your pretty face for a few moments. But he didn’t want to disturb you so he kept on waiting for the right moment to see you again.
It turned out that the right moment happened to be when you were getting ready to go out with some friends one evening and Peter was coming home, looking run down and tired. His face and entire being lit up at the sight of you. Your heart was beating so fast that you were sure that he would be able to hear it (unbeknownst to you, he definitely heard it) or it would burst out of your chest.
“Hey-”
“Hi-” the two of you spoke at the same time before looking at each other sheepishly. You felt like your entire face was on fire as you looked at your feet for a moment to study your nerves, “hey Peter. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“I know,” he tried to contain his excitement when he realized that you had been missing him as well, “I can’t believe our luck. For years we saw each other all the time and now…nothing. Kind of feels like the universe is laughing at us.”
“I thought about coming over,” you admittedly sheepishly, “but I didn’t want to bug you. I wasn’t sure how you late you were working or…yeah.”
“I thought about the same thing,” he confessed as you grinned at him, “but I’ve been working longer hours so I’d get home late and didn’t want to bother you.”
“You wouldn’t have been a bother,” you shrugged it off, trying to make it seem like no big deal when in fact it was a huge deal.
“Good to know,” he huffed a small laugh before clearing his throat, “I should, ugh, let you go. I don’t want to keep you from your date or whatever plans you have.”
“It’s not a date,” you said quickly, wanting to shut that train of thinking down right away, “I was just going to meet a few friends for dinner and drinks.”
“Cool,” he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to hear that, “I hope you have fun.”
“Unless you’re not busy and want to get dinner,” you only had a bit of courage left as you got the words, wondering how he’d react, “like together I mean.”
“I’m not busy, I’m free,” his stomach felt like it was doing backflips, “but are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll just text my friends,” you waved your hand dismissively as you pulled out your phone, “they won’t mind. Trust me.”
They really wouldn’t. They’d been hoping and rooting for you to get with the pretty boy next door for some time now.
“Cool,” that was an understatement, “let me just go and change and then we can go. I’ll come to yours in a few minutes.
“Okay,” you breathed nervously, unable to hide the smile on your face.
“Okay,” he agreed softly, his eyes and smile big and pretty, “luckily this time it’ll only be a few minutes and not weeks.”
“It was too long.”
“Definitely.”
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x fem!reader#peter parker one shot#peter parker imagine#andrew!peter#andrew garfield#tasm!peter
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you’re the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)
kim dahyun x fem!reader ; fluff
synopsis: dahyun's a busy woman and mother, you're willing to do anything to help her out.
warnings: dahyun is a single mother ; fluff and fluff my fav forever ; I can't really think of what else there is ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: dubu day! short n sweet
dahyun trudges home, her work bag feeling heavier on her shoulder as she walks up the three steps leading to the door of her house.
when she opens the door, she finds her small townhouse completely dark, no lights on except some peaking out form the stairs to the second level.
your car was still in the driveway, so you were still here too, with her daughter, may.
she sets her bag on the counter, then slips off her jacket before hanging it on the coat rack beside the door. a soft sigh leaves her lips as she settles down on the couch, relaxing her shoulders and closing her eyes.
then, the faint sound of footsteps quietly rings throughout the house.
the light turns on, dahyuns eyes open, and she turns to the right to see a familiar figure creeping down the stairs.
a smile spreads across her face as she watches you try your best to put your backpack on, desperately avoiding any sudden movement that’ll ring the keychains on the zippers.
dahyun grins. “hey.”
she watches you jump, a noticeable gasp leaving your lips as you turn to see her.
“jesus,” you mutter, “you scared me.”
she giggles, then makes her way over to you.
“is she asleep?”
“yup, like a baby.” you assure. dahyuns hair is loose, strands falling over her face. you bring your pointer finger over to brush them away. “how was work?”
her heart flutters before answering. “a little tiring, the usual.”
“aw, sorry to hear.” you say, frowning. “well, i ordered takeout. there’s some leftover chinese in the fridge for you, i wasn’t sure if you’d have time to eat dinner.”
she can’t help but feel all bashful from your consideration, heart melting as soon as she hears your words.
“thank you y/n, you’re so sweet.”
“ah, anything for you. it’s never a problem for me.” you laugh the sincerity of your response off, shaking your hand. “i’d love to eat with you, but i really have to get home early. i have some meeting tomorrow that’s mandatory, i don’t know why.”
she frowns, pursing her lips a bit.
you put your hand on her shoulder, leaving it there for a bit as you look at her. you open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, not until dahyun places her hand on yours and beats you to breaking the silence.
“well, i hope that meeting goes well. thank you for taking care of may.”
“it’s no problem, i’ll see you…?”
“we’ll see, i don’t want to trouble you.”
“never trouble if it’s you.” you giggle softly, eyes soften in as you linger on each feature on her face. “i’ll get going now, text me if you need me — and i mean it.”
dahyun laughs, “fine, fine.”
you put your hands in your pocket, heading towards the front door and opening it before pausing and turning towards dahyun.
“goodnight.”
she smiles.
“sleep tight.”
-
work gets more hectic for dahyun, deadlines are plastered across her calendar, her boss has been on edge, and she doesn’t have time to take care of may.
she calls you up to ask if you’re free to take care of her, and when you say yes, she thanks you at least ten times, followed by a string of apologies.
the day later you show up to pick up her daughter from school, taking her home and calling dahyun to let her know everything is fine. you hear her voice on the other end of the line, rushed apologies spew out her mouth.
“it’s fine hyun, don’t worry, seriously.”
you hear her sigh at the end of the line, probably pinching the bridge of her nose too.
“i owe you the world.”
“oh, just keep working to support you and your daughter. i don’t need anything but the assurance that you’re both fine.”
dahyun might tear up after hearing the sincerity in your voice.
“you’re the sweetest person i know y/n.”
“and you’re even sweet hyun, get back to work okay? besides, spending time with may is better than rotting in my apartment.”
once you hit a red light, you look over to may, who’s eyes are threatening to close in the passengers seat. first grade must be tiring.
“okay, okay. i’ll see you this evening y/n, im sorry, and thank you.”
“take care of yourself hyunie, ill see you.”
both smiling, you two end the call at the same time.
dahyun looks at her screen, groaning frustratedly before pulling up spreadsheets and reminders. she starts to type away, her mind trailing off here and there to think of you, and how grateful she is.
on your side, you’ve just reached dahyun’s place, pulling up in the parking spot next to where she usually parks. you look over to see may, who’s asleep with the artwork she’s made in her arms, and smile lovingly.
you’ve known may since she was born, the first person to hold her was you.
she’s someone you’ve cared for over the years, you’re almost like a godmother to her with how often you see and spend time with her. out of the few people you keep close, she’s one of them.
carrying her in your arms, you walk up the steps and type in the code that unlocks the door. dahyun gave you the code from how often you visited. you step inside and hear a small mumble in your ear, may shifts her head while it rests on your shoulder.
"is mommy home yet?"
you place your hand on her head, soothing her scalp. "she's busy with work, she'll be home later."
she hums into your shirt as you find your way to the couch, then you set her down. she lays down on the little pillow before you pull away from her, which urges her to wake up a bit.
you hear her stomach rumble and giggle. "someone's hungry."
the rest of the afternoon into the evening is relatively calming. may sits next to you on the couch while you work on something for your company.
there's a clipboard in her lap and markers, crayons, as well as scissors beside her. you two sing along to the songs playing on your computer while both of you work on whatever it is that needs to be done, enjoying each other's presence and appreciating the tenderness of the moment.
after thirty minutes of work, you decide to take a little break, stretching your arms out and looking over to snoop at what she's working on.
she's scribbling, mixing colors that work nicely together to make something cute looking around the words "happy birthday mom."
right, it's dahyun's birthday tomorrow.
you remember the first birthday of hers that you spent with her, a year before may was born. it was in her apartment, and only you were there because everyone had their finals and exams.
it was an hour before her birthday ended, she was cooped up in her room studying because she had tried to convince everyone it was fine and that the weekend would be a better time for something big. but you were stubborn, not wanting any birthday to be put to waste.
the memory of spending the last hour of her twenty-first birthday crosses your mind and it makes you smile. you look at may, her features resembling her mothers, the same features you adore; their eyes and noses were nearly identical.
"that's beautiful may."
"thank you y/n, it's for my mom."
"i can see that." you respond, watching closely. "can I make one?"
she nods eagerly, practically jumping out the seat to run over to where dahyun's desk is in the other room. seconds later she's back with a blank paper and a hardcover book for you to write on it, handing it over and trying her best not to show her struggling to hold the heavy book.
may's head rests against your shoulder as she leans on you, continuing to scribble and you catch the little doodle of her and her mom together, with you standing next to them as well. your lips turn up into a smile.
"y/n?"
"yes?"
she scribbles something similar to how your hair is done onto the stick figure. "do you love my mom?"
"i've known her forever; of course i love your mom."
"no, do you love mommy like people with a mom and dad love each other?"
may didn't have a dad; he was simply out of the picture. it saddens you to think about her questions, which are born from curiosity but still tug at your heartstrings. and you love dahyun deeply, beyond words. she’s your rock, and you’ve done everything you could for her and will continue to do so. ss you look at the girl in front of you, patiently waiting for an answer, all you can see is a reflection of the person you love the most.
"i--" you pause, biting your lip. "that's a difficult question."
"i always see my friends with their parents, and I think my mommy loves you like that." kids say things with such deeper meanings, things that are so complex without knowing. her response catches you off guard. "the way their mom's and dad's are with each other reminds me of the two of you."
you try to laugh off the feeling of your body starting to tense up. "well, that's wonderful to hear that they love each other so much. and I don't think your mom has much time to love me like that."
"well, whenever she does have time i think she loves you."
jesus, she sounds like momo convincing you your feelings for dahyun were mutual the day before graduation. it couldn't be true, but her daughter convincing you this time -- it makes you rethink it all.
"you're silly, may. let's finish these drawings up before she gets here."
may drops the topic, but you still think about the weight of her words. if her daughter can pick up the same things as momo, could it be true? you don't want to think too hard about that, it's too complicated. it's always been something you didn't want to put on dahyun; you and your feelings.
an hour passes by, but it feels like seconds.
may steals your phone and with her little fingers she plays a few of your favorite songs. they range from radio music that both of you have memorized to songs from movies you've watched with her and her mother. when it switches to slower songs that are queued automatically, the five hours of sleep from the night creep up to you.
the little girl continues to draw on her paper, then asks you a question about what you've been working on, only to earn no response.
she looks over to see your mouth partially open and your head leaned back. your arms are limp, the marker you had been writing with sits loosely in between your fingers, and your breathing is labored.
she tries to shake you awake, but fails. your head falls down at an angle now, which makes may laugh. she decides to take your paper and her's away after checking the time on your phone; her mom would be home soon.
may returns to see you asleep still, then decides to join you. she returns to the position from before, now laying again you and closing her eyes before mumbling a low, "goodnight y/n, you must be very sleepy."
--
it's a little over half past nine when dahyun reaches her house, unlocking the door with her bag hung on her shoulder.
it's late, the lights are still on, and she hears a faint melody playing. she trudges over to the living room, smiling immediately at what she sees before her.
your head is angled uncomfortably, your arm around may, with your mouth slightly open. dahyun finds it all so adorable. her daughter is snoring softly, a small trail of drool escaping from the corner of her lips. the sight urges dahyun to find her phone and snap a picture, which she immediately adds to her favorites.
she places her bag down on the coffee table in front of you two, then slowly lifts her daughter into her arms, trying not to wake the two of you. she lets may rest her head on her shoulder as she carries her up to her daughters bedroom, placing the little girl on her bed and tucking her in.
dahyun places a kiss on the little girls forehead, which nudges her awake. "mommy?'
"shhh, sweetheart, it's time for bed."
"okay... but y/n is still sleeping... can she stay?"
"sweetheart," dahyun holds her daughters hand and brings it up to her lips, placing a warm kiss. "of course, I was going to make her sleepover too, it's quite late."
may's eyes are half open, she's tired beyond measure, but still, she manages to murmur a sleepy response that shakes dahyun up. "you love her a lot, don't you. like my friends' mom's and dad's love each other."
what are they teaching at schools these days? how to analyze romantic literature?
"i--" dahyun sighs out, pursing her lips. "it's late, get some rest honey. i don't have work tomorrow, let's talk about this tomorrow when you're awake."
may hums and dahyun kisses her forehead once more before heading to the doorframe, lingering there before she turns off the light and closes the door.
she walks back downstairs to find you still asleep on the couch, head angled even worse. if you had slept like that for a few hours more, she might just have you at the chiropractor.
dahyun moves your hair out your face and sits you up correctly -- it wakes you up.
"what..." you mutter sleepily, subconsciously leaning against dahyun's hand. you sigh softly, happily, and smile once you blink a couple times to meet dahyun's face. you could never get tired of those features, and you could make them out even in a thick fog. "you're home."
"i am."
you put your hand on hers. "happy birthday."
"it's not midnight yet."
"happy early birthday then."
you're a little more awake now, awake enough to stand up and face dahyun, who's looking at you with concern.
"stay the night." it sounds like an order from her. "it's too late for you to go home."
"i don't want to cause trouble--"
"y/n, be serious. you're never trouble." dahyun sighs, right before taking your hand in hers and leading you to the stairs. "besides, I don't work tomorrow since I finished everything. that's why I was out so late."
"okay."
you let her drag you upstairs, then into her room. you let her push you into one of the bathrooms, let her hand you one of the shorts you left and one of her oversized t-shirts that still fits a little snug on you. you let her convince you to stay in her room with her and not the couch.
it's eleven after you two situate yourselves; the process of showering doesn't take long, but nearly two hours pass when you both are downstairs and reminiscing, talking about your day, then anything and everything.
both of you are upstairs when it's around 11:50pm. you get in bed first, sitting on the edge and checking a few notifications on your phone before dahyun asks, "can you help me out.?
you perk your head up, looking at her as she stands in front of the mirror. "of course, what is it?"
she watches you make your way over to her, then sees you creep up from behind on the mirror.
"my shoulders are tense." she simply says, looking at you from the mirror. she doesn't need to say anything else to have your hands on either side of her neck, squeezing tightly. she relaxes under your touch, appreciating the way your hands remove the tension from sitting at a desk for hours.
the tension that's still present is everything between you two. may's question still lingers in both of your heads; you're the first to bring it up.
"your daughter asked if we love each other like a mom and dad."
"she asked you too?"
"yeah."
silence follows. dahyun sighs when your thumb presses beside her shoulder blade, your breath tickles the back of her neck. she turns around to look at you, head tilted up slightly.
the only light that's in the room is coming from the lamp on the bedside table, it emphasizes the curve of your nose and look in your eyes when she meets your gaze.
she adds, "what did you say?"
"i dodged the question."
"what would you have said if you hadn't?"
she's trapped you with that question, and the hand on your shoulder, and those eyes.
the truth is; you love dahyun more than any of those kids' parents do, probably. you want to give dahyun everything, it's what you've always wanted to do the first time she had taken care of you back in your second year of college.
she's taken care of you when you were sick, drunk, and mentally fighting. she's been there longer than most, and she's pure, she's genuine, she's beautiful; dahyun is your world, your rock, everything and more.
you love her more than what a child can see between two parents of another. you sigh at the thought of her not eating, you think of her at night when it's storming and gloomy, you buy her the bread she's fond of, you bring her chocolates at work, you do her laundry when she's visibly drained; you love dahyun so much that it's all you are -- you are care and adoration because of her.
"i," you try to conjure up everything you can to answer the question simply. it's late and you're vulnerable when she stares at you, vulnerable after years of pining, and vulnerable after that question from may. years of loving can't be put into a sentence, but you manage to say something. "I love you more than that. the question is broad."
"it is," she's a little closer to you now, your faces are not so far apart. "the question caught me off guard."
"the questions is quite nerve-racking for something being asked by a six year old."
"y/n," dahyun practically sighs, lovingly. "i really love you, you know. not just because you've done all this but-- because you're you."
you break. "dahyun, i would move mountains for you. i want to be the person you lean on for everything and more, I've loved you beyond words since you fell asleep on me during that lecture."
"for psych?"
"for psych."
your hand intertwines with dahyun's, she tightens the hold. you might just collapse right then and there, but honestly, if dahyun's there to catch you, that's quite alright.
she places her hand right on your cheek, her fingers twitch and graze on your warm skin right before she's on her tip toes to kiss you.
her lips are warm and soft and all kinds of comforting when they meet yours. it's perfect, it's everything you've been dreaming of for years.
your phone rings in the background, the reminder that you've set a whole notification for her birthday pulls you away from her, and now your hands are on her waist.
"happy birthday." you whisper against her lips.
she smiles, you can feel it against your own. dahyun parts from you, but her hand still rests on the base of your neck and she still has her fingers intertwined with yours with the other hand.
"this might be my favorite birthday, i think."
"not the time i showed up outside your house drenched from the rain?"
"no, you didn't kiss me that time." she says before meeting your lips again, putting both hands on your shoulders and pushing you closer into her. the taste of your lips is sweeter than she's imagined, and the scent of her own body wash fills her senses; you're perfect. "this is much better."
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DP X DC Watchtower Blurbo
*feel free to add on to it or use it
It's pretty well understood now that Danny can be a little shit and cause trouble just by existing. There's no way he wouldn't eventually fuck with the Justice League over time if they existed in the same universe. He probably came across the Watchtower accidentally at first and stayed invisible the whole time, scared out of his mind that they'd somehow detect him. They don't, so he gets braver about visiting over time.
Danny would probably start haunting them in his off time and slowly ramp up what he does over time. A glimpse here and there, the room being colder than it should be. The only reason Batman may not have called in Constantine or Zatanna immediately upon noticing is probably because he doesn't think it's caused by something supernatural. In a building full of heroes with multiple powers and a proclivity to pranking, why wouldn't you think it was one of them rather than a ghost (that you may not believe in) that may have found your super-secret hero base?
One of the heroes may get the main brunt of Danny's haunting, whoever it is can be you choice. They'd be the first to point anything out, the first to ask "hey anyone feel that?' or otherwise. Batman may think they're the prank instigator.
This goes on and off for a few weeks before Danny makes himself fully visible in different places all over the Watchtower and suddenly every hero is aware that there is a child haunting the place. They don't know who he's attached to, but they are immensely sad that there is a child that couldn't be save and is now tethered to this world by their failures. This isn't the actual case, obviously, but I love the trope. He doesn't show up all the time, they can go weeks without seeing him.
Things change when Danny is immensely exhausted from whatever daily going ons are going on for him. Anywhere from lack of sleep, to multiple days of battle, Ghost Zone business, escaping the GIW, one or multiple of them. Point is, he's tired, exhausted, and most likely injured. So, rather than keep up with the haunting, he spies a nice comfy couch in an office of one of the heroes and naps.
Now he's fully visible, vulnerable, and in one spot for a long amount of time. A hero is going to see him inevitably. This could also be about the time Batman actually brings in Constantine or Zatanna to come take a look at the wayward soul haunting the place and see if they can't give the kid (and the others in the Watchtower) peace of mind.
The three come in only to find a small crowd (or similar) of heroes standing around a couch. This is perplexing enough as it is until they see what's on the couch. To Batman, it's the kid that's been haunting the place. To Zatanna and Constantine, this is a demon of the Infinite Realms that is extremely dangerous, extremely powerful, and why the fuck hasn't this creature destroyed the Watchtower yet??!
Edit because @thestarsofpines made a great point of Danny being a BABY demon of the Infinite Realms that I wanted it on the main post too.
#danny phantom#plot bunny#dp fanfic#danny phantom fanfic#idk i had this stuck in my head#feel free to use it#i dont think i will any time soon#or add onto it
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Fun night - Lucien x reader
Summary: You get drunk with Helion, so Lucien decides to take care of his drunk best friend. What he didn't know, is that it will lead up to some interesting confessions.
Warnings: Alcohol, drunk and flirty reader,
A/N: I'll maybe write something like this for every character but with a different situation? I love this kind of confessions <3 Also I LOVE DAY COURT LUCIEN!! Enjoy x
It was already past midnight when your best friend, Lucien, finally found you in the throne room of the day court. A glass of wine in your hand and your head on Helion’s shoulder, both laughing.
“There you are” Lucien said with a sigh. “Lu!!” you squealed. “What did you do to her” he sighed out to his father when he saw your messed up state. You were giggly, leaning onto the high lord of day, both grinning thanks to the faerie wine you’ve been drinking all night. “I did nothing, y/n and me just had a fun night together, we found my best bottles in the cellar” Helion grinned.
Lucien was your best friend, but you met him because of your connection with the high lord. You worked for him, and when Lucien came here to live in the day court with his father, you quickly became good friends.
“I was worried, we were going to the park together, remember? You weren’t there so I've been looking for you all evening” Lucien said. “Now now son, you don’t have to be so anxious, y/n/n was just here with me, having some fun.” he mumbles drunkenly. “Sooo fun” you reassured in a slow voice. “God Helion, your son is so sexy, isn’t that right?” you smirked , biting your lip, looking at him like you finally realized what he looked like. Your eyes hungrily tracing the lines of his muscles that peak out of the white robe he's wearing. “How much did you drink exactly y/n?” Lucien remarked. “Apparently, I hold my liquor better than her” Helion sighs when he notices you’re far more drunk than he is.
Your eyes started to close a little, Lucien noticed it immediately. "You okay y/n?" he asked. “Lu, I’m tired, wanna sleep” you whine. “Don’t worry sweetie, I’ll help you, come here” he cooed. Lucien’s strong arms wrapped around you, pulling your slump body against his. You comfortably lean into his shoulder, wrapping your arm around him. “Let’s get you to your room” he says.
You both walk through the beautiful corridors of the palace, your body leaning heavily against his. “I’m sorry Lu, didn’t mean to get drunk and forget our date” you mumbled. “Don’t worry baby, it’s okay” he answered, trying to not get flustered because of you using the word ‘date’ for your walk in the park.
"You smell amazing, you know that" you breathed in his smell and then you stumble over you legs, almost falling, but Lucien catches you. "Woopsie" you giggled. "God y/n, you scared me" he sighed relieved when you were back steadily against him. "My knight in shining armor" you smiled, placing your hand on his firm chest. Oh god, Lucien didn't know how he could survive all this sudden drunk flirtatiousness. It made him all shy and flustered, but he tried to calm himself down. This probably meant nothing, you were just drunk and didn't know what you were saying, right? But his focus kept going to your soft small hand, rubbing his chest so lovingly. Was this what you always wanted to do, finally coming out?
When you get into your room, he gently lays you on your bed. He brushes the hair that fell on your forehead behind your ears, your eyes fluttering shut because of the feeling of his soft hands on your face. “You want me to help you wash your face?” he smiled. You nodded in answer. Lucien grabbed a washing cloth and cleaned your face gently. Then he grabbed your night clothes, laying them on the bed next to you. “You gonna undress me now?” you smirk lazily. Lucien couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You’re so drunk y/n” he chuckled. “What?! It’s not like I only want you to undress me when I’m drunk Lu. In fact, I would like to undress you! Just.. j-just wanna know how that muscles of you feel under your shirt” you rambled with the occasional hiccups in between. He only sighed in answer, flustered but not wanting to take advantage of the situation. You would likely forget this anyway.
He helped you in your night clothes, sometimes turning around to give you privacy. “Here you go, all ready for sleep” he said. You were staring at him so intensely, looking at the russet color of his eyes like you’d never seen it before. “You’re very pretty Lucien” you sigh out, tracing his scar with the tip of your finger. Lucien flushed immediately, you never gave him compliments like this. “And you’re even more pretty when you blush” you smile drunkenly.
“Thanks y/n, I think you’re really pretty too” he breathed, pulling the blanket over you. But your lips started to wobble. “Hey hey, what’s wrong?” he said worried, placing a hand on your cheek. “You really think I’m pretty?” you whined with tears in your eyes. “Of course I do” he reassured. “But you only say that because I’m your friend, don’t you?” you sniffled. “I-I…” Lucien stuttered, not knowing what to answer. “It’s okay Lu, I’ll get over you, I promise. I know I can” you confessed disappointed, your eyes down. Lucien was shocked to say the least. What did you mean by that? You never gave him the feeling you might see him as more than a friends. Sometimes he even wonders if you have feelings for his father, he knows Helion certainly wouldn't mind that. He even caught himself being jealous only moments ago, when he found you with his father.
“What do you mean, get over me?” he whispered, intertwining your hair with his fingers. “Because I want you under me” you whined loudly. “W-what?” he chuckled. But when he waited for your explanation, your eyes started to fall asleep already, your eyes fluttering close in the comfort of his fingers slowly stroking your hair and the soft feeling of your blanket. “I love you” you mumble almost unintelligible, but Lucien heard it. “I love you too y/n” he whispered.
And when your eyes fell fully closed, he watched you for a while, savoring the opportunity. He listened to your soft sighs and the way your lashes looked, resting on your flushed cheeks. It took every ounce of self-control he had in him, not to go lay next to you.
So he tried again, pulling on the invisible thread in his chest. Hoping for an answer. But it never came. He'd tried over and over the past year. Maybe one day you’ll feel it too. Maybe one day you’ll remember what you confessed to him tonight. Maybe one day, you'll know.
His mate.
#acotar#lucien vanserra x reader#lucien x reader#lucien vanserra#lucien acotar#lucien fluff#day court#helion acotar#acotar x reader#lucien
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The Lost Boys headcanons
How they would behave in a relationship
Warning: possessive behavior, some smut (mainly in Paul's and Marco's parts oops)
The reader is body and gender neutral.
David
He’s definitely the possessive type. You’re his and he lets everybody know it.
He either has his arm around your shoulder or his hands on your waist. He also probably gives you hickeys in very visible spots for the same reason ;)
Or he simply just hovers over you. Like all the time.
If someone tries flirting with you, he’s behind you in an instant, and all he has to do is look at them menacingly. You’re not even surprised anymore that every guy seem to run off scared after just a few words, even if they started talking to you for a completely innocent reason. Now you just turn around with a “really?”
I imagine him to be less into PDA. But when you’re just with the boys he sits you into his lap and rests his hand on your thigh while talking to the others.
He probably shows you more physical attention in front of them, because he’s more comfortable around them.
Even though he’s possessive, he doesn’t really get jealous, at least he tells himself he doesn’t. He trusts you and knows you wouldn’t cheat on him, it’s other people he doesn’t trust. Scaring off guys is just him protecting what’s his.
I can imagine him trying to control you in some small ways, like not letting you wear stuff that shown too much skin in public or trying to keep you from hanging out alone with guy friends that he doesn’t know well. It comes from his protectiveness over you. But I also think that if you talk to him about these things bothering you, he will stop doing it.
You’re one of the few people who can get him relaxed when he feels stressed out. Like when he comes back frustrated from a meeting with Max, or when leading the group and keeping them in line (looking at you, Marko and Paul) gets to him after a long day.
He just walks over to you and sinks into your embrace, resting his forehead against yours with eyes closed and just listening to you breath for a few minutes.
He likes it when you give him shoulder massages when he’s feeling tense. He probably also likes in when you make him tea to relax (though he wouldn’t admit that one).
Types of kisses: on your knuckles when he holds your hands. On your forehead. More passionate kisses on the lips when you’re alone. You’re his queen/king/precious person, and he definitely treats you like one.
His nicknames for you: kitten, darling, love
Dwayne
He’s a man of few words, who shows his love through his actions.
He’s a very attentive partner, always notices when you’re feeling tired, sad, stressed or anxious. He immediately gives you a questioning look or a soft “are you okay?” and makes sure to make you more comfortable.
Like he lets you play with his hand, caress his palm or fingers when you’re anxious and fidgety and need something to ground yourself with.
He’s also a good listener. He will gladly listen to you complain when you have a bad day, even if he can’t really give any advice.
I feel like he would try to learn as much about you as he could, so he can take better care of you. This obviously includes stuff like your interests or dislikes, but also a lot of small things, for example how you behave when you’re feeling sad or anxious, what are some unconscious habits you do when you’re deep in thought. He stores all this information in the back of his mind so he can use it later.
Like he observes how your eyes light up and your features change when you’re excited or happy about something, remembers what caused you to make that lovely expression and then makes sure to present you with that exact same thing later again and again so he can see you glowing like that again. He surprised you more than once with gifting you little things you briefly mentioned liking or being interested in.
He’s the type of guy who looks out for you all the time when you’re out at the busy boardwalk. He makes sure you’re always in his sight, and if he loses you, he will scan his eyes through the crowd until he finds you. In turn, if you get separated from the guys, your first instinct is to search for him, cause he’s tall and stands out anyway, but also you know he feels calmer when he can see you, even if you’re out of reach. You both feel relieved when you’re eyes finally meet through the gaps between the bodies of other people.
He’s probably more casual about PDA. He will hold your hand, wrap an arm around your shoulder or give you small pecks on the top of your head, on your cheeks or your lips.
He gives the best hugs. I mean he’s a big guy who can envelop you in his arms. When you’re having a bad day, all you have to do is ask for a hug, and you immediately feel better. I imagine that he likes hugging you from behind, pulling you to his broad chest.
Slow and deep kisses are probably his favorite.
His nicknames for you: sweetheart, honey
Paul
He’s very vocal about his love for you, the man is a flirting machine.
He’s also like a lovesick puppy, always excited to see you, always hungry for attention, and starts pouting if you don’t give him enough. He can be a bit needy at times.
Even though he can seem like a dumb blonde to the casual observer, he’s actually more in tune with your emotions than most people think. He can immediately tell when you’re feeling down, even if you try to hide it. You’re emotions also affect him a lot. When you’re sad, he’s also lethargic and does everything in his power to cheer you up, be it taking you out to have fun, staying at home and cuddle or shower you in small kisses until you start giggling.
On the positive side, when you feel happy, he’s absolutely in the clouds, and your giddiness feeds off of each other.
A LOT of PDA. He’s touching you all the time, holding your hand, pulling you into his side, hands on your legs if you sit next to him or in his lap, or quite literally draping himself all over you.
He also likes to use your legs as a pillow. Just imagine him totally high, babbling about random stuff that comes to his mind while laying his head on your lap, you running your hands through his hair.
Also, HIS HAIR. He loves it when you mess with it, doesn’t matter if it’s playing with the strands while listening to the others talk, or tugging on it in bed.
Yes, he’s an absolute manwhore in my humble opinion ;)
He’s definitely a switch in bed. Like he can be a dom and worship you, but he can also definitely be a sub and just fall apart under you, loving every second of it.
Ever since @sunkendreams said they think Paul likes it when you choke him, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I think he would also like it if you kiss his neck, or leave your mark on him by giving him hickeys. He would show off that shit so proud!
Lots if kisses all the time. He wouldn’t start making out with you in the middle of the boardwalk like Marko, but he would pepper small kisses all over your face, pecks on your lips. I feel like he’s the type who randomly starts kissing your neck while you lean on him regardless of the setting.
His nicknames for you: babe, dollface, beautiful
Marko
This guy is a fierce protector who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. I mean it’s known that most times he’s the first to jump into action when there’s a fight.
He can be a knight in shining patchwork jacket, but he can also be a little demon with the most angelic face when it comes to show you just how much he loves you.
He protects your honor then when you get back to somewhere private he doesn’t hesitate to absolutely ruin said honor, but in the most pleasurable way imaginable.
I’m sorry, but I’m just obsessed with the thought that he’s an absolute beast in bed.
But I think he’s also such a dork. I can imagine him grabbing your hand and pulling you into a dance in the middle of the boardwalk if he likes the music they play that night. And at the end he dips you back, his hand firmly holding your back, with the widest playful grin on his face, making you break out in giggles. Then he leans down to kiss you on the lips.
He’s not the jealous type, he has absolute confidence in himself and in your loyalty.
He’s big on PDA: holding hands, hand around your waist, probably groping your thighs or butt once or twice. He’s also not shy to kiss you in public. You’ve definitely had a few heated makeout sessions before against the railing of the boardwalk.
I think he also like catcalling you or whistling at you, but only if you’re also comfortable with it.
He basically loves to let everyone know that you’re his gorgeous partner as loudly and as visibly as he can get away with. He would shout his love to you on the top of his lungs if you hadn’t scolded him for it before.
But other than that time, you love it that he’s not shy about showing you his love.
Just like David, he would also definitely like giving you hickeys in very visibly places. I also imagine him to be a bit of a biter during sex, leaving small and harmless ones all over your skin that doesn’t even leave a mark, or ever getting a bit rougher and giving you ones that do. It all depends on what you like.
Cursing in bed in Italian ;)
His nicknames for you: sugar, baby
#the lost boys x reader#tlb 1987#the lost boys 1987#the lost boys headcanon#the lost boys david#the lost boys dwayne#the lost boys paul#the lost boys marko
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drunken confessions part 2 [pazzi]
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
summary: part two to drunken confessions where they’re both sober now
word count: 1.6k
part one | masterlist
Unfortunately, Azzi proved Paige right. For the next few days, she left the apartment before Paige woke up and came in after she fell asleep. Interactions between the two of them at practice were stilted, with Azzi refusing to even make eye contact with the older girl.
Tension between the two peaked when Azzi stopped coming home completely, making excuses to stay over at Aubrey’s place so that she wouldn’t have to face Paige at all. Azzi didn’t remember much from that night - she only remembered the fact that she’d been so stupidly drunk that she’d let her secret out, a secret she’d been planning on taking with her to the grave. Of course, Azzi knew she was being weak, a coward who couldn’t confront her feelings. But she was just so scared - not to mention humiliated that Paige might not feel the same way.
Paige felt like she was about to burst. The past week had been sending her into a frenzy, her heart beating erratically whenever she walked into practice and saw Azzi, who made it a point to ignore her the entire time. Her nights were sleepless, her mind too overwhelmed by images of Azzi in that tight top, grinding on her lap with her abs on full display, looking at her lips. She’d only been able to get a couple of hours of sleep after she took care of herself, relieving the ache in her core and exhausting her body.
For the fifth night in a row, Paige looked over at her clock and saw 2 AM blinking back at her. Fuck it, she thought. If Azzi’s the reason I can’t sleep right now, she’s gonna have to deal with it. So Paige grabbed her keys and jogged down the stairs until she reached the floor of Aubrey’s apartment.
She raised her first to knock on the door, but hesitated. She was sleep deprived and not thinking at right. Was this really the best idea? But Azzi’s taunting smile flashed through her mind again, and she surged forward, thumping aggressively on the door.
It took a few raps until the door swung open, revealing a tired Aubrey, who looked pissed to say the least. “What the hell, Paige?” she grumbled, rubbing her eyes. “Your place better be on fire or else I’m kicking your ass.”
Paige pushed past her. “Where’s Azzi?” She asked, looking around
Aubrey shut the door, a deathly glare on her face. “In Dorka’s old room. Sleeping, like everyone else in the goddamn country is. Like what I should be doing.” Muttering curses under her breath, Aubrey returned to her room.
Paige kicked the carpet, now uncertain again. She looked a sight, with her hair a mess from having run her hands through it thousands of times out of frustration. She knew there were dark circles under her eyes, her makeup still on and a mess. But before her second guessing could turn her around and back into her own apartment, she forced herself to approach Dorka’s old room and knock on the door.
She heard light footsteps, and then a soft voice lazily say “Aubrey?” before Azzi peeked through the door. Paige’s palms started sweating as she looked at Azzi, who was wearing one of Paige’s oversized shirts and very small shorts that displayed her long, tan legs and left very little to imagination. She looked all warm and sleepy, and Paige’s heart skipped.
Azzi yawned, opening her eyes fully before realizing who was standing in front of her. Her eyes widened in shock, and she stepped back. “Paige?”
Paige didn’t know what took over her, but all of a sudden she moved forward, wrapping her arms around the younger girl’s waist and connecting their lips. Azzi let out a gasp of surprise, momentarily frozen before she started to kiss Paige back, her hands tangling themselves in the blonde’s hair.
They moved backwards, neither of them wanting to break the kiss as they fell on the bed. Paige was on top of Azzi, hands circling her sides and her hips, bringing her as close as she could but still not close enough.
Azzi let out a guttural sound as Paige moved to bite the sensitive spot on her neck, tongue tracing patterns into her best friend’s skin. “What,” Azzi gasped, “what are you doing?”
“I’m making you talk to me after shutting me out for a week,” Paige said throatily before resuming her kisses down Azzi’s neck.
“This doesn’t feel like talking,” Azzi whimpered she laced her hand through a fistful of Paige’s hair and tugged. Paige groaned at the feeling. “I think this is more convincing than talking.” She drew back, a smirk playing on her lips as she proudly took in the litter of bruises now covering Azzi’s neck like a canvas.
Azzi’s hands slipped under Paige’s shirt, absorbing the warmth of her skin until her hands stumbled across her bra. She looked up at Paige, whose pupils were dilated, her eyes hooded and face smeared with lipstick.
“Wait,” Paige gasped. “I think I deserve an apology before you get to see my tits.”
Azzi’s hands stilled, and she carefully removed them from under Paige’s shirt. She shivered, suddenly feeling cold. The older girl adjusted her shirt before silently taking a seat on the bed next to Azzi. Their knees bumped into each other, but neither made an effort to break the contact.
“Was me kissing you back not an apology?” Azzi attempted with a half-hearted laugh, but the look on Paige’s face remained serious.
“Wanna try again?”
Azzi winced. Her fingers nervously fiddled with her blanket as she thought of what to say. “I don’t know, P,” she whispered. “I’m just so scared. I can barely recall anything from that night, but I do remember that I admitted my feelings for you.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, feeling too weak to be able to look at Paige while saying the next words. “And I remember that you didn’t say anything about liking me back.”
Azzi’s eyes flickered open when Paige’s hand gently wrapped around her own. One by one, Paige took each of Azzi’s fingers and kissed the pad of her fingertips.
“I didn’t say anything back because I wanted you to be fully aware when I finally told you.” Paige’s eyes studied Azzi’s. “I want you to know. I want you to know how much I fucking like you.”
Azzi exhaled, the rigidness leaving her shoulders. “So what does this mean for us?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know.” Paige swallowed. “But I do know that if we both like each other, and we’re willing to try and communicate with each other, then how could anything go wrong?” When Azzi didn’t respond, Paige tilted Azzi’s chin so that their eyes met. “We’ve known each other almost a decade, Az. We’re with each other for the long haul, whether as best friends or more.” Her voice cracked on the last word. “Do you trust in us?”
“Us?”
Paige’s gaze was steady. “Do you trust in us to not fuck it up?” She reached for Azzi’s hand again, this time intertwining their fingers.
Azzi studied their connected hands, relishing the warmth of Paige’s skin, the rough callouses on her palms and fingertips, the way their hands fit so perfectly together. “Yeah,” she breathed. “I do.”
“Good.” Paige tilted her head down, their faces so close that her breath fanned Azzi’s lips. “You gonna run away from me again, ma?”
Azzi blushed, her lips barely grazing Paige’s. “No.”
“Alright,” Paige chuckled. “You can see my tits now.”
Azzi shoved Paige, causing the girl to fall back and double over in laughter. “Shut up,” the younger girl whined.
“‘M sorry,” Paige said, wiping her eyes after she finished wheezing.
Suddenly there was a loud thump from outside, and the door vibrated. Exchanging curious glances, Paige climbed out of the bed and opened the door. Both of the girls’ mouths dropped at the sight of Aubrey, KK, and Ice in a heap on the floor, all of them with wide and guilty eyes like deer in headlights.
“What the fuck?” Azzi pushed past Paige. “Have you guys been listening in on our conversation?”
Aubrey glanced nervously at KK and Ice, who both looked away, suddenly finding the ceiling very interesting. Realizing she was on her own, she stood up, bouncing on her heels. “Uh,” she said, scratching her neck. “Well, when Paige came it wasn’t hard to guess what she was gonna do. And I made a bet with Ice and KK so you know, I had to call them, and we just happened to be near the door, and you guys weren’t exactly being quiet.”
“Oh my god,” Azzi shrilled. “You guys made a bet?”
Panicked, Aubrey gestured at her two teammates. “They did too! Don’t pin this all on me!”
Azzi charged at Aubrey, but Paige quickly grabbed her waist and pulled her back. “Woah there, Azzi, let’s calm down a bit.” She turned to Aubrey, trying to give her a stern look but ultimately failing at trying to stifle her laugh. “You all need to leave and stop sticking your nosy asses into our business.”
The girls grumbled but got up to leave. Aubrey turned to head back to her room, but hesitated before turning right back around. “Um, can you guys go back to your apartment too?” Paige and Azzi looked at her in confusion before she stammered, “I really don’t want to hear you guys fucking like rabbits while I’m sleeping in the next room over.”
Azzi grabbed the nearest pillow off the couch and chucked it at Aubrey, who scampered off into her room and slammed the door. Laughing, Paige grabbed Azzi. “Come on, babe, let’s go.”
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tw: pain, childbirth.
When I was pregnant the first time, my mother told me something that I never forgot. She said that babies show you who they are while still in your belly.
I didn’t understand what she meant until my daughter arrived at the 37th week of pregnancy. Barely premature. In medical terms, she was ready to be born, but I, the person carrying her, was sure she wasn't ready yet. Willow decided she wanted come out and made my uterus contract and my hips widen to get her out. Even though I begged her to give up the idea.
“Don't be in a hurry, you can stay there as long as you want.” I remember whisper to my own belly, already having painful contractions. After complaining so much about how tired I was of being pregnant, I was afraid that her rush to be born was because of me. But I was wrong, she was just curious to go out, looking forward to her freedom. I tried to warn that the world was much colder and much scarier than she could imagine, but she was determined.
Her birth wasn’t as bad as I thought, in reality. It was quick and it was painful. But the pain never scared me. I closed my eyes and didn't fight with my own body. I let everything happen and just let my mother tell me what to do. I don’t remember if I screamed or cried or moaned... Because every time a contraction came I left my body and only came back when it was over.
When I opened my eyes his blue eyes were there. Looking at me scared, trying to make sure I was alive. He was the only thing that comforted me at that moment, the only thing that kept me standing. It was Peeta's arms that held me through that long winter night. I couldn't sit or lie down without crying in pain. Standing, with my body resting on his, was the least painful position I found to face the contractions.
It was as if we were dancing a waltz, but the music was just my screams. At the end, when the sun started to rise, I swore I could hear the sound of birds. They sounded exactly like my father whistling birdsong. I wanted to tell Peeta what I had heard, but I was always distracted by the overwhelming pain and my moans, my mother's words and Peeta's heavy breathing.
He was silent the entire time. I was grateful I didn’t had to hear words of encouragement that wouldn't help me or stutters of pity. He knew I was capable, he knew I could handle it. Sometimes I searched in his eyes for the trust he had in me, to remind myself that I was able to do it. And I always found what I was looking for.
When I felt her coming out I bent down on my knees and pushed. I could feel the top of her hairy head with my fingers. The pain was absurd and I thought I was going to die from the horrible sensation that filled me. I screamed, so deep and loud that it came out all at once. Her cry made me realized that I had never been so close to life since the day I was born, born from the woman who held Willow for me. My mother was the first person who picked her up.
My legs immediately stopped working. I fell into Peeta's arms and he placed me on our bed. In the same bed we had made Willow.
My mother brought me the little baby in my arms. She was so hot and the air was so cold that all I could do was hold her against me and cover her with a cloth so she wouldn't freeze. While I cried nonstop, so much so that I couldn't even welcome her.
It was Peeta who said it "Hi little girl” for me. As he stroked her hairy, bloody head.
Such a powerful cry for such a small girl, I thought. We were still one, united by a cord and soon it would have to be cut without me being ready. Separating us forever and leaving my baby alone in such a dark world.
#Katniss is a great mother#Peeta is her soulmate#They deserve a happy family#wip#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#everlark#epilogue#willow mellark#toast babies
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warnings : intimate moments (not sex), i think that’s all
pairing : boyfriend!rafe x girlfriend!reader
summary : rafe crossed the line
it was almost 12 pm. normally you’d be sleeping already but unfortunately, you have to study for tomorrow.
your eyes were heavy, half closed. you were laying on your bed, since you couldn’t keep sitting for another hour.
for couple of seconds your eyes closed but they shut open when you heard few knocks on your window. you stood up and walked towards it, yawning.
you opened one of the three windows and looked outside.
,,hey baby.” rafe smiled at you, running his fingers throught his hair. he finally sees you for the first time today.
,,hey.” you mumbled, as you rubbed your right eye gently. you were wearing rafe’s oversized grey shirt he gave you few days ago.
he smiled even more when he saw you’re sleeping in this specific shirt. his shirt. he then spoke up again.
,,can i come in?” you were staring at him for a while, thinking about his offer. even tho you were exhausted, you decided to say yes.
when he got inside, he actually got worried cause there were like ten opened books on your bed, some notes placed on your table.
you laid back down on your bed and after a while rafe joined you. he looked at you, with a small soft smile.
,,for how long have you been studying baby? you look.. tired.” rafe caressed your hair slowly.
you sat up again, which made rafe’s palm slid down on your back. ,,for a while, don’t worry.” you mumbled.
he couldn’t help but start to feel a bit excited.. your tiredness, the way you run your fingers throught your hair and the way your eyes blink slowly.. somehow all of this turned him on a little bit. or maybe it was because he hasn’t seen you all day? who knows.
you weren’t paying attention to that at all. you were too busy reading stuff about acids and bases, another informations you’ll never use.
after couple minutes, you could feel rafe’s lips softly pressing against the side of your neck, which made you close your eyes for couple seconds.
,,rafe.. i’ve had a bad day..” you said, meaning every word that left your mouth. rafe just smirked lightly, and kept kissing your neck.
,,maybe i could.. make it better.” he mumbled under his kisses, smirk still remaining on his face. his hand moved towards yours, gently taking the notes out of your hand before he placed them on the ground.
after couple seconds he got on top of you, now pressing his lips on yours. his hands were running over your hips, caressing them slowly with his fingers.
,,rafe, not today.. please.” you whispered to him, in between your kisses. his mouth left yours for a while, so he could speak.
,,shh baby you’re clearly exhausted just.. just relax, alright?” he said, before he started kissing your neck again.
you didn’t want to have sex, not after you’ve had like the worst day ever. you also didn’t want to piss him off, but you’re not even in the mood.
you could feel him getting lower, his kisses caressing your collarbone now. meanwhile, his palms were already touching your thighs under your shirt.
you hated that you didn’t like it, that your body wasn’t reacting like it normally would. the only thing you wanted at that moment was sleep. you needed to sleep after this very long and hard day.
you didn’t even realize that he was already shirtless, actually you both were. you were laying under him, just in your black bra and black underwear. when you looked at him with your tired eyes, you could see his smirk widening.
,,you’re so beautiful.” he whispered before leaning closer to you again, leaving kisses all over your chest. when you saw him taking off his shorts, his lips still on your chest, you just lost it.
it wasn’t like you were scared of him or something, you know he wouldn’t hurt you, ever, even when it comes to this. but you just really didn’t want to do it. not today.
rafe was about to kiss your lips again but he stopped when he saw tears on your face. his smirk quickly faded away.
,,please, stop.. please.” you cried out softly, your teary eyes staring on his face. he placed his palm on your cheek, his thumb wiping away your tears.
,,hey shh..shh, i’ll.. stop now.” he whispered to you. he felt so bad right now. he moved next to you and put his shirt back on.
,,baby i.. i’m so sorry.” he whispered, ran his fingers throught his hair. he wanted nothing more than just comfort you and make things right.
,,it’s fine. i’m sorry i just..” you rubbed your eyes, your wet cheeks making his heart ache. he made you cry. oh he felt like shit.
,,don’t apologize baby, i fucked up okay?” he laid next to you, his arm wrapped around your shoulders again. he pulled you closer to him, his other hand went around you.
,,i’m so sorry baby.” he kissed the top of your head, slowly caressing your back. you kept sobbing for couple minutes. he looked down at you when he didn’t hear your sobs anymore, and the view of you made him smile. you’re so cute when you’re asleep.
he kept hugging you, his head lightly pressing against the top of yours. after a while he also closed his eyes and fell asleep.
i hope you’ll like this since it’s quite a short story :) also i’m working on my masterlist rn 🫶🏻
#blow up#obx#obx fic#outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x fem!reader#rafe x female!mc#soft rafe cameron#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe fanfiction#fem reader#soft stuff#comfort#viral#viralpost#go viral#viralpage#foryou#tumblr fyp#blow this up
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BuckTommy
Fluff & Angst
764 words
Buck got home in the late evening, tired after a long shift of back-to-back calls with seemingly no break. He was dead on his feet, ready to maybe eat and then get straight into bed. His mind was spinning, thinking about anything and everything that he could stress about, no matter how small. Did he say something wrong to a patient? Maybe the facial expression from another firefighter meant he had done wrong? So many trivial things that he couldn't quiet.
As he stepped through the door fiddling with his keys, he realised that someone else was in the loft. He could smell food, hear movement. He looked up and saw Tommy in the kitchen, humming to himself, moving around to different pots on the stove. He looked happy. Comfy. Like he belonged.
"Evan!" Buck was startled out of his daze. "Come sit, dinner will be soon."
Buck finished taking his coat off and put his bag aside. Walking over to the table he still had thoughts spiralling through his head but maybe they were quieter. He pulled out a chair and sat down. Tommy had already laid the table and Buck was just sort of staring at it. So often he had cooked for someone else to come home, he had set the table, greeted them. It was odd to be on the other side. Why had he never been on this side? Was it something he had done? What was different now that allowed this?
His thought process was interrupted with a plate being put down in front of him and a soft "Evan?"
He looked up and saw Tommy's face painted in concern, he could see all the layers to it. Nerves. Sadness. Anger. Disappointment? Why was there disappointment? What had he done? Before he could spiral again, he felt a hand on his arm, he felt like he had been pulled back into the present.
"Evan, I'm worried." There was that concern again. "You've barely said anything, since you came in. What's going on?"
Buck could feel his heartbeat faster, his chest gets tighter, breathing felt like a chore. His words didn't want to come out. What if he ruined this? What if telling Tommy scared him away? What- Oh.
Arms had wrapped around him, his face pressed into something warm. "You don’t have to say anything now, Evan but I am here. I am not going anywhere."
Buck felt a release. It was like everything that had happened that and before came crashing through him, fighting to find a way out. The way that it found was tears, tears that never felt like they would end. Tears that also felt freeing. He felt like his mind was pushing itself through the fog, away from the spiral down.
He pulled back away from Tommy, looking at his face wanting to see what he would fine. Maybe a part of it was the spiral looming wanting to reach out, call to him, bring him back into its slippery slope. All Buck could see was Love, made with layers of concern, nerves, sadness, anger, disappointment.
"Today was hard." He finally got out. It was small and quiet but also so loud. It felt so powerful to admit that. It was another step away from the panicked questions, from the alluring spiral. "I'm so grateful for you."
Tommy's face softened; his arms moved so that one was on Buck's face. He leaned down and caught Buck's lips in a soft kiss. "Let's eat, you need it."
Tommy moved from where he was crouching at Bucks chair, to opposite him and sat. Buck lifted his fork, filled with food, to his mouth and when he had a taste all he could think was how it felt like home. Like warmth. Like comfort.
Buck and Tommy while a rocky start to the evening were able to then have a peaceful time. They ate food, watched TV pressed against each other, sharing kisses and love. They made it to bed, under the covers, skin against skin.
"Today was hard." Buck began, loud in the quietness. "I couldn't rest, all I could think were these questions that kept making me second guess everything. I couldn't stop. It felt relentless."
Tommy brought an arm over Buck's waist, pressing small kisses against Buck's neck and shoulders. "But you helped. You helped me step away, helped me stop. I love you."
There was another small kiss to his neck before Tommy replied, "I love you too, Evan. Anytime, I will be here for you anytime. Like you are for me."
#brain decided to project my anxiety onto buck#hope you like#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911 abc#winnie rambles
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I think you made me start shipping Marchil
Your posts got me thinking about their dynamic then I wrote a fic that was supposed to be platonic but midway through I realized it could actually be interpreted as romantic too and now I'm just sad about how little time they'll have together
First of all, you have a lovely icon, second, I’m so honored… I finally read Not a bad way to go and it was soo so good like. My god!!! Pre-canon is underused and you did so many interesting things with it.
It sounded like a cruel joke, that the one who needed her concern the most was also the one least interested in it.
^^^ go read it go read it
Chilchuck was drunk enough that he needed to hold onto the walls not to fall, but apparently still sober enough to remember emotional vulnerability was his worst enemy, as he made sure to avert her eyes and said:
“Namari made me come talk to you ” to make it clear he wasn't being nice voluntarily.
Yeah.
“Of course I'm scared of dying.” He scoffed. Did she really think so little of him? “But if I could choose, I would want to die doing something I love, like drinking. Or maybe fucking,”
Maybe you wish you didn’t know but my new favorite HC because of this is that Chil dies yes prematurely not of liver failure though but during coitus. Especially if marchil, the thought of him busting a nut and his heart giving out makes me laugh so hard. My god. Lmao. Oh god. Lmfao. Worst day of her life
Marcille knew Chilchuck wasn't a kid, but she often struggled to take him seriously as an adult because he was just so adorable and small. In this moment, however, she saw them exactly for what they were, even if it was just a glimpse. A sheltered, naive little girl trying to tell a tired, much more experienced man how to live the rest of his life.
Standing ovation
She tried to find an explanation to give him, but she couldn't even find one for herself. Why would she miss him? He was just Chilchuck, her coworker, Chilchuck who was cold, aloof, sometimes crass, evasive, and even outright mean. He who was level headed, reliable, trustworthy, perceptive and clever. He who had the least time left, even in a best case scenario. “I guess that despite your best efforts, there's still a lot to like about you.”
This fic goes so hard, standing ovation pt 2
“I just think it's better if we don't get too close. Don't you agree?”
“I… maybe” she said, uncertain as he didn't know how to feel about that. Caring about people would only hurt her in the wrong run, she knew that, but unfortunately she couldn't help it.
I looove how they can be read to be similar on this aspect. My hand clenching around my phone as I rear up to rant about Marcille and the way she does keep people at an arm’s length subconsciously again my god my goood. Obsessed with this obsessed with this, underused for marchil. Terrified of loss through death vs rejection duo I love youuu
Brilliant ending I’m in shambles. I’m not gonna spoil it
You get marchil so much you truly do. The way they mesh, the way their views on mortality clash and both soothe & bruise… He doesn’t have much time left even in best case scenario (which Mr I won’t eat well I’ll drink and smoke a lot I’ll stress all day every day is determined to not make happen) which makes it all the more meaningful for Marcille’s arc when she learns from him to finally enjoy the present moments… It’ll only be a fraction of her life, but to him he’s giving her the rest of his life. What are some decades of love worth? Worth it, surely, if nothing else
#My only nitpick is that canonically they rarely hang out after work and you wrote that they did it often but that’s lit the only thing#Chilchuck tims#dunmeshi memes#ask#I have friends big fans of the timeline where Chil is one of those who miraculously live to 70#Marcille is always bracing herself year after year to lose him and it just becomes anticlimatic#Chilchuck the old fart grumpy husband who REFUSES to die#I wanna write pre-canon marchil as well eventually…#Anyways i hope u don’t mind me putting ur fic on blast!! I liked it a lot and again i couldn’t be happier i made you like the ship#Or even write fic like omg… i hope you make more!! You got them down real well#Thank you for the ask and thank you for the content!!! Made my day. Bith when u sent it and when i rea the fic i was having a bad day#Like his dad WOULD say that. ‘I heard you crying what the fuck’ aughh they’re so so compelling pre canon oh my god#I looove ‘platonic or romantic you choose’ fics and tackling alcoholic Chil is an instant like. The 1 flirty line was a nice treat#Marchil union is brainstorming Coraline AUs btw they all go so hard I’m looking forward to that wave#Tried to keep this a lil more composed than the ao3 comments I make lmaoo but yeah know that i’d do rabid keysmashes about it#‘You’re easy to love despite it all/even if you try to make it hard to’ is such a core of marchil
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Shower~C.S
Warning- SMUTT, “just friends”, shower sex, nicknames (ma), nothing else really (my first story, also not proofread)
Summary- your sleepover gets a little spicy when Chris finds out your secret. (Sorry this is so short)
Almost every weekend me and the triplets find time to have a sleepover, but this week only Chris and nick could make it. That’s because Matt was really sick and didn’t want to get anyone else sick as well. Particularly because Matt is sick we are sleeping over at my house. And don’t get me wrong I love these boys so much, but I kind of have a small crush on Chris. I hope he doesn’t know and now I’m worried because I only have one small ish bed in my room and one spear room that Nick usually likes to sleep in, so that means Chris would have to be with me…
~
“Hey we should watch a movie, I seen an ad on TikTok for it” nick said looking up from his phone a split second before reaching for the remote. We were all sitting on the large couch I had in my house. Nick and I sat beside each other and Chris was looking in the fridge for food. Once nick got the movie ready to play I readjusted my self to be laying my head on his thigh and had my legs spread to the other side of the couch. “Chris you coming” nick shouted at Chris who was still looking through my kitchen. I looked over at him, leaned against the side of the fridge his veiny hands grasping a can of Pepsi.
I wonder what those long slender fingers would feel like inside me?
“Hey you good?” I snapped out of my thoughts when Nick asked “yea no I’m fine” I say shaking my head and giving him a slight smile in reply. “Cmon guys let’s just start the movie already” I say trying ti keep my mind off of how hot Chris looked right now.
~
Half way through the movie, I sat in between Chris and nick still laying my head on nick except now it’s on his shoulder. Nick had picked a horror movie, I was completely fine with it but Chris on the other hand, not so much. At every single jumps scare he flinched, and sometimes screamed.
Man I wonder if he would make those noises if I jerked him off?
More of the movie has passed and I got tired, “hey guys you can keep watching I’m just a bit tired I’m going to go lay down” they nodded their heads and I walked up the stairs to my room and closed the door behind me. I got undressed and put on a pair of tight shorts over my black lace underwear. I removed my bra and put on one of nicks shirts that he lets me borrow. Just then I hear a knock on my door.
“Hey sweetie make sure you guys don’t stay up too late tonight okay” my mom said coming in to give me a hug goodnight. “Yup, love you!” I say in response walking over to my bed.
As I was scrolling on my phone Chris barged in “I spilled my Pepsi all over me now I’m all sticky” you giggled in response seeing the huge puddle of Pepsi on his shirt. “You could just take a shower if you want” you said looking over to the bathroom door. “Thank you” Chris sarcastically put his hands together and looked at you before grabbing his change of clothes and walking into your bathroom.
Chris was already in the shower and you realized that you needed to brush your teeth. “Hey Chris! Can I come in for a sec?” You said knocking on the door a few times, “yup” he yelled back in response. You grabbed your toothbrush and started to apply the toothpaste when you heard a knock on the door of your bathroom “hey the boys are in the spare room right?” “Uhh, yes ya they are!” You say in response knowing Chris was naked behind you. “Okay! I’m coming in to grab something real quick!” You didn’t know what to do do you quickly got undressed and jumped in the shower with Chris.
“Hey! What th-“ you put your hand over Chris’s mouth. “Okay thanks sweetie! Goodnight!” Your mom closed the door and left, leaving you completely exposed Infront of Chris, and him exposed infront of you. “Holy fuck” Chris says staring you up and down. “Chris!” You shout at him and turn around. “Whattt? You are the one who jumped in here”
I mean he isn’t wrong, “shut it Christopher” you snapped back at him. As you were lifting your feet up to get out Chris’s hands attached to your waist.
“Where do you think you’re going” you could feel his rock hard dick on your back “anywhere but here” you say turning around to face him.
Just then Chris pulls you in for a passionate hungry kiss, his tongue immediately exploring your mouth. You start grinding forwards into his dick, getting groans from Chris.
“Now if we’re are going to do this you better be fucking quiet” Chris said grabbing your jaw, you let out a moan “I need words ma” “yes oh my god just fuck me already” you moaned out.
Quickly Chris turns you around and pushed your back down to create an arch, you could feel the arousal dripping from your pussy.
“You’re so wet for me” Chris said as he swiped his eager tip through your folds. You moaned at the feeling, “I told you to be fucking quiet” he pounded into giving you no time to adjust to his 8 inch dick.
He waisted no time, fucking into you harder and harder, very few moans escaped your mouth. “I’m gonna-“ you say trying not to scream at the pleasure. “Not yet ma, cum with me” he said slightly adjusting his position, now repetativly hitting your g-spot.
“Oh fuck Chris” you moaned, releasing all over his cock. “Oh shitt” he says right after you, releasing his own cum deep into your pussy. “What the fuck just happened” he said as he pulled out of you slowly, “I don’t fucking know”
~
You and Chris were laying in your bed, your head in his chest talking when you got a text, it was from Nick.
“Did yall just fuck”
You and Chris look at eachother and giggle. What’s gonna happen now?
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolos#smut#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#wet and needy
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Do y'all ever feel like ur a puppet just goin thru the motions? I've been cleaning bc of impending apartment visit but I'm so tired and trying not to worry about something (several things) and I'm just going through the fucking motions
I got the cat messes cleaned and litter changed out. Took that and the trash out. And that was already so many of my spoons.
I still need to do the dishes and put away the groceries. And I was thinking about making pies... I got the things to make pies... and I know I would enjoy having pies tomorrow... which means making them tonight.
Paying it forward, ykno? I'm trying to take care of everything tonight so that tomorrow's me can take it easy. But I think I'm going into negative spoons by this point. Dipping into spoons-credit. I don't have these spoons but I'm taking out a loan and I'm gonna be paying them back With Interest.
At least I have tomorrow off. I gotta count my blessings where I got em.
#speculation nation#i dont really want to talk about the things that are worrying me. im really hoping one of them goes away w/o me doing anything#but im going to have to just... stay vigilant i guess. haha.#im sitting for a few minutes rn b4 i start on the next stuff. giving myself a rest.#then i will start on the pie... and work on the groceries... and then try to get the dishes done.#and then ill have to shower. hair washing day. ugh.#i did Nothing earlier today. just lounged and took a nap that only really gave me bad dreams.#and im making up for my inactivity Now. because i have to.#i just feel so... small and scared and tired.#i dont want any more repeats. please for the love of fucking god give me a break for at least a goddamn year.#negative/#ill be fine after i sleep i think. things just suck right now.
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sorry for disappearing. I promised I wouldn't do that again but it's always the thing I fall back on in desperate times. idk how to stop doing that
I'm just so tired and in pain, I wanna lay down and cry and never get back up again
#wish i could cry. as it is the tears are pressing on my eyes but cannot come out. it hurts. i wish it wouldn't hurt#all i can do is sleep as much as i can whenever i can. no other way to escape it all#trying to plan my mental illness breakdown around my work hours so my coworkers don't have to worry#i actually like being at work and putting on a smile and acting bright and bubbly comes to me so easily#but i feel the tiredness creeping in. making work a bit more difficult and i don't like that#my brain is starting to merge dreams and reality in a way that hard to tell apart#it's also whispering evil things into my ear. like: you're not mentally ill there's no official diagnosis so better be sane and normal#or: you're making it all up. stop with that. just be normal. <- about literally every single thing#<- like me dealing with depression and anxiety and probably no small amount of trauma and gender dysphoria? NOT REAL according to my brain#which is. idk i KNOW i struggle with all of these things and there have been suspicion diagnoses#but no actual 100% confirmed diagnoses and that fact is fueling my brain in whispering these mean things to me#and i'm just so very very tired of it all... i don't want to fight anymore but i'm also too scared to take any kind of final action#sorry...#delete later
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Barely slept because my very old kitty is sick and this might Be It for her since we do not have the money to take her in and even if we did, it is more likely than not a complication of kidney failure which we have known to be an inevitable end for a while now
#i am feeling. hmmm. not good#she's like 16 to 17 years old at this point. ive had her my sntire teenhood to adult life#she is small and frail and sneezing and exhausted and i dont blame her#its like age hit her all at once so fast#i am so tired and sad and i dont know how to. process or think about it#how do I think about the idea of her life coming to an end. how do i consider if i need to allow the unthinkable#if her suffering is too great for her little body how will i know. how will i know she needs to go#im so scared of making her hurt or suffer longer than she needs to but im also scared of taking away her life out of selfish grief#she deserves a kind and gentle death when the time comes but i dont know how to make that happen for her or when and im scared#sorry if you read this far im just. exhausted and. scared and sad#i dont want to lose another staple of my life so soon after my grandma#vent#delete later
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I need a little pick me up *stares at the food app* but everything is so expensive....
#i took a shower i watched some videos and checked up and... now i feel so exhausted...#i guess it finally caught up with me... i havent really even interacted much... wish i... nono its okay. i did a lot#i want something cold and sweet... i want chocolate but tapioca is too expensive and i dont have something to make the drink with....#and we dont have enough sugar to make the pearls anyways....#i am scared of friday... im scared of Thursday night.... im scared of the future... *gets notification*#... hey at least people are happy... thats nice... people are happy and living in the present. im so proud of them#if you read till here i have a small plastic brain do you wanna see it?#im emotionally okay im just really tired a tapioca or something like a smoothie could help but everythings too expensive...#seari talks
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I vent or breakdown so often, I know I get told it's fine and talk when I need to but geez it feels so excessive, like I'm overly sensitive or just really really easily triggered over things that shouldn't even relate to my trauma
We come to solutions or we distract from it, or we cuddle, but it's just always there.
I can almost always feel the dumb anxiety or depression feelings, I don't want to
I wish my brain understood that
#im tired of only feeling safe when im overly babied and small. i know at this current time point certain traumas are still really fresh#and i need to let myself acknowledge that and relax and maybe be taken care of on a higher level but#i feel so clingy and embarrassed#and i really wish i wasn't still reminded of things from the past. i hate getting anxious over things from high school or college#that doesn't matter anymore#i don't wanna be so vulnerable and scared all the time#but i think i need to#i just want to be held. feel skin to skin. get kissed and called sweet names#i wanna feel his nails through my hair. hear that hushed voice he does when being soft. i wanna be closer#i wanna be safe and told its not scary. its not bad. instead of how we've been going about things..#cant i just feel secluded and loved? feel protected and small#i wanna be told that my ptsd is a normal reaction and that i dont have to be like i was before. i can take a while to gather myself#to mourn and exist. to just.. be#be however my brain is needing to be in order to relax#i wanna be intimate and romantic and loving and gentle#i feel so guilty over these wants and needs#i wish i didn't have them. i wish i understood that its safe to have them.#i wish i was different#i wish i was me. but me before#when i was stable and felt nice and independent but i still had little moments of softness and needing help. i miss my early early twenties#but. i also miss the feeling of being held tight by him and told nothing could hurt me anymore. that he was gonna keep the bad away#like middle school. keeping the mean kids away#i love him. i want to feel loved#i am loved. i don't doubt that. but i wish i could capture every soft second and live in it forever#and i feel so guilty#trav.txt
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