#i imagine if he hadnt realized he wants you as his alone before that almost losing you definitely does
Note
I feel like Val is the type to get his lil pet hella hooked on some drug(nothing too debilitating…maybe) to the point they absolutely can’t leave him cause he’s able to get the purest most refined version of it and they can’t handle less.
Getting to the point that they just give up running and just start finally settling in to the pet role, or so he thinks, when he realizes they’re just constantly doping up to avoid him in their own little world. Always conveniently high off their horse during the times he usually wants to be pampered and loved by them and he’s just like “oh, well alright cunt if you like that shit more than me-“ just fucking instant cold turkeys them. Watching them get their withdrawal meltdowns and promising them just scraps to get whatever he wants. Snuggles, kisses, lick his nutsack just whatever cause he knows they’ll be desperate enough. Only to snort and grin as they look at him so pleadingly and cute and he tells them what a pathetic job they did, using any outburst as an excuse to… get rough with em.
Wrap them up, give em a lil time out or maybe set them up with a lil buzz toy to work out that frustration and give them a new distraction to get through the painful withdrawals. Only cooing at their pleading and licking up the drool from their chin.
Oh- got carried away there. Anyways he a nasty nasty man n I see him bein fuuucked like dat :>
Oh no absolutely is this something I've thought pretty intensely about. it's pretty implied in the Addict music video that Angel is addicted to whatever drug is in Valentino's cigarettes. when he is dancing but looking anxious, Valentino blows the smoke directly in his face and he goes from anxious to feeling more motivated which is probably deliberate on Val's part and also im pretty sure that unless this is just music video pizazz that Valentino has some sort of powers which would check out since dead sinners having powers is already established wirh Alastor
There is also this pretty blatant visual metaphor
and in Angel's room there are cigarettes that are varying stages of being unfinished implying he's trying to stop and he actively acknowledges through the lyrics "there's another rush of poison flowing into my veins, giving me a dose of pleasure that resides by the pain" and it's pretty clear that on top of being abused and being an addict he's also just trying to use drugs to cope with everything he's going through
So ABSOLUTELY have I thought of everyone's favorite to hate scumbag pimp taking advantage of any weaknesses or addictions Reader may have and I personally can contribute my own personal experiences to this since I have a genetic predisposition to getting addicted and have had problems with alcohol and controlling my habits myself.
I can see it now. You're all in the limo and Valentino is smoking, Angel and a few others are too, and the Overlord looks over at you and laughs because you're smoking a joint and just starts openly mocking you for "that loser little kid shit" (even though I would stake my life that Vox would love getting stoned and gaming out and probably does so). You just kind of shrug him off, saying you're fine with just weed, but Valentino can't help but notice you're drinking too. You'll sit there, toke, sip, toke, sip, until you're a little loopy and feeling good, at your preferred level of euphoria, though there's been a few times you've just straight up fallen asleep in his limo from doing too much too quickly and Angel or one of the dancers had to jostle you awake.
Valentino doesn't see you hang out with anyone. He never sees you around town. As far as he knows, you work your shifts and only leave your rented room to get food, bathe, or run errands. Most of the times he sees you, you're stoned and or getting stoned, and there's been more then once that some catty little poledancer or whomever didn't like you whispered in his ear that you've been stumbling around drunk.
I've thought of it going one of two ways: he gets you high by force, or you ask him for it. Can you imagine it? You've been smoking weed but it just isn't the same, either your tolerance carried over from your human body or perhaps you've just been doing so much you built it back up anew, but now, one of the only things that brought you joy and calmed you down isn't working as well anymore, and you're having to spend more and do more and you'll cough your throat raw and still not feel 'how you want'. This high isn't how you remember it feeling before, so do more until it feels good! It is legitimately such a helpless feeling when you start leaning on a substance for comfort and you notice the efficacy wearing off. There's a sense of fear and desperation in it, that 'your only way to be happy' isn't working. And you start wondering, maybe I should try something else, something different, something stronger?
Val's been watching you and having his employees secretly keep tabs on you and you're all at the club and you're sitting near him and you look down at your last joint that's almost finished and you still feel miserable before glancing up at him with these big sad eyes and gestures to his cigarette, "so what's even in those anyway?" And he just smirks and hands it to you, "see for yourself, baby"
Or like, the same scenario but inverted from another perspective, Val can tell you've been smoking like a chimney to the point maybe you're even paying rent late because you're spending so much on your vices, and even if he can't immediately identify why, there's something that gets under his skin at seeing you all sad and gloomy. I wouldn't put it passed him to offer his cigarette to you and you refuse, and he pushes harder for it, trying to essentially pressure you into doing it until you cave, before just grabbing your chin and shotgunning the full capacity of his lungs straight into your mouth while you hopelessly fail to try to push him away
Either way, once the drug settles, you're just sitting there all 😊 smiling and giggling and engaging, overflowing with dopamine, all but melting into the sofa or limo custom you're sitting on while you play on your phone or listen intently to one of your boss' stories from when he eas alive, which always boosts his ego when you listen and you're like "wow that must have been so scary 🥺" and making him feel all big and tough, and maybe he can even convince you to cuddle a little. What, he's not touching up on you or anything, you can't just sit beside him? He can't wrap one of his arms around your waist and just hold onto you while he's on his phone? I mean, drugs and alcohol, scientifically proven, activate a specific part of your brain, and our brains favor the more primal feelings over rational thought which is why drunk and high people can act erratic and shit. So you're sitting there feeling all hot n buzzed n horny and suddenly Oh, big Mr Valentino has his hand on your thigh and is teasing you, hitting on you a little bit, and the mindset of "fuck that man something NASTY" is overpowering your usual rational thought of "GIRL BE NICE TO HIM SO HE DOESNT HURT YOU BUT OTHERWISE DONT EVEN LOOK IN HIS DIRECTION"
Valentino just lowkey making you a sex addict because he gets you high and gives you mind shattering orgasms 😩❤️ I imagine this would be extremely effective towards those of us that have lived more isolated lonely lives lol. The first morning after he fucks you and your new favorite drug has worn off, he can tell you're embarrassed, barely making eye contact with the man you had said some reeeeal freaky stuff to in bed (which he LOVED lol but he'll tease you for it just to watch you squirm). Maybe it'll be a week, maybe it'll be a few days, but you kind of avoid him, but then, it happens: the two of you wind up sitting in the limo near each other again, or at the club, and he catches you sending glances his way, eyes flicking between either his cigarette or him himself, looking away as soon as he notices you.
He'll pull you close, putting his hands on your body, purring in your ear, "what do you need from me, baby?" with the smell of his cigarette ghosting over your skin with the heat of his breath and you shudder and he knows, he knows you're going to be his new favorite toy
#yandere stuff#sinprompts#hh#also like for angst imagine if he got you too high or you got too high and you overdose in front of him#he has his goonies come and narcan you before you can die a second time but from that point onward he literally wont let you leave his side#no drinking no drugs and maybe he even slaps you with the bill for the treatment to resuscitate you#hes looking at your smile and then suddenly youre clutching at your chest eyes full of pain and fear and you look at him for help#i imagine if he hadnt realized he wants you as his alone before that almost losing you definitely does#as a pet as a a girlfriend as property it doesnt matter#youre his and hes going to make sure you keep your stupid ass alive even if it means he has to drag you around like a purse dog
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Inoske smut
Warnings/breeding,degrating,mentions of slut, reader has a crush on Inoske,Inoske pinning Y/n
A/n
This is my first smut if you have any advice please tell me :).Also i dont know much bout the lore.
I really liked inoske. His blue eyes and green gorgues eyes and that torse, it made you blush everytime you saw him train , the sweat runing down his gorgues body the concentration on his eyes and those hands, everytime you thought about him you mind went wild and you thought such dirty things about him.
You thought about how he was strong and you were weak and you both knew each other and you hated him for that but still you couldn’t help it. The way he held himself so effortlessly as he moved around and you couldn’t help but wonder if he could feel what you felt.
He was walking towards the gym when your eyes made contact and he smirked realizing that you were staring at him the entire time.Trying to play it off by pretending you were late for your traning you ran off.
Time skip
2 weeks later
It was a week before your traning exams so you decided to take advantage of being home alone, you were training for your first exams so it was perfect timing. You had finished your mission last night which meant you now needed some peace. You walked over to the living room where a blanket laid out on the couch. On top of the blanket lay Inoske and you had no idea how he got there.
“Inoske? What are you doing here?” you ask not thinking much of it. “I came home from a mission whats it look like? And besides your place was the closest.”he said sounding a bit annoyed.
There was something else, even though you didnt know Inoske had a crush on you, you never thought he would i mean he did sound extra annoyed when talking to you but you wont back down.This was the perfect moment to tell him your crush on him. You hadnt seen him shirtless enought to not have dirty thought. The thought of his lips on yours and his hand fingering your neddy cunt and not to mention his d-
Trying to calm down you grab a first aid kit provoited to you by Shinobu and bandage him. By bandaging him i mean staring at his body. Trying your hardest not to stare too much.
“How are you feeling?” you ask trying to sound normal.
“Better than ever.”he says sarcastically, not looking at you as he sits up and stretches.
“So why did you come over?”you say ignoring his sarcasm.
“Oh, well I just wanted to make sure you were okay after that last mission…”inoske pauses looking at you.
What?! He was worried! Thats adorable!
“Thanks Inoske I think im fine I promise.”
“Good.”he says with a nod.
You sit there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
“Well im going to go get ready, we should train.”he says standing up.
Your face flushes red.Train?
He walks away to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He's always been hot in combat, its hard to imagine someone more attractive.
Once he was done getting dressed you both train.Since you didnt have a place to train in your home or in your small sized yard you guys decided to do hand-to-hand combat. You were trying to get to his weak spots but he kept blocking your attacks, crush on him or not you were not trying to lose. Something Inoske liked in you was that you were competetive and didnt like to lose. So you pushed yourself to get as close to him as possible without him actually hitting you.
After a while you got frustrated and ended up throwing your fist directly in his face.You didn't realize that you hit him and he stumbled backwards almost falling off edge."Didn't know you had in you Y/N" he said smirking at you caused his lip to bleed but he licked the blood sudectecly. You felt an the wetness already forming in your panties and if he kept this up you woud absoloutly lose it.
The next thing you knew you were pinned against the floor, your wrists trapped in his grasp.
"Y/N" he whispered and looked into your eyes.You were speechlesss but that may have been beacuse of his beauty but no it was because he was rolling his hips slowly onto your cunt." Think i haven't been noticing how your looking at me" You were shooked i mean , yea you looked at him alot but it wasn't that obvious right?" I-I dont know what your talking about"you said hoping he didnt notice the stain of you wetness on you pants. You were so embarrassed you could cry and scream but you knew that that would ruin everything you worked so hard for.
'You're gonna need some luck to beat me" he says laughing. You were confused and he rolled his hips again, the blood dripping from his lips.
You were shocked by what was happening you didn't know what was going on. "Oh and would you look at that innocent Y/N so wet shes practicly dripping".Oh no he knew. But the thing that Y/N was to distracted by Inoskes movements that she couldnt even say anything.He was kissing your neck softly and you closed your eyes and tried not to moan.
After a few minutes of making out you felt inoske lifting you up.He grabed you by your beautiful thighs and carried you to your room, he opened the door and dropped you on the bed.
He stripped himself and threw your clothes on the floor. His erection stood proudly, he grabbed your thigh and started to stroke you. He kissed your neck and sucked on it causing you to squirm a little.You werent used to this kind of action he was making you feel all tingly and wet and he knew it.His hand rubbed your clit softly and you moaned loudly."What a slut you're practicly cumming on me already" he laughed pulling back from you and looking at you in awe. "I guess I'm gonna fuck that sweet pussy and i don't care if the whole neighborhood knows".
All that you could hear was him breathing heavily and saying all these dirty things to you and you felt all tingly. You wanted to touch him and kiss him all at once and it made you crazy but you stayed silent not wanting to disappoint him.
He pulled you back into a kiss but instead of moving slow this time he moved quickly thrusting deep inside you. Your head was thrown back and you moaned his name. This felt so good Inoske was so big you had tears comming town your face."Your pussy is practicly milking me already"He said groaning and grabbing your waist, slamming into you hard and fast and rough and you were so close you didnt even know you could go this far and he didnt stop until you were both shaking and panting.
He grabbed you by your hair and slammed you back on the bed. He started sucking on your neck again making you scream and you heard him laugh.He fucked you roughly and you moaned his name. He stopped moving but you kept screaming, you were begging for more then a few seconds.
"Say my name."he said his voice filled with lust,you pleaded and started kissing and biting his neck, not stopping until you heard him gasp and pull back."Now what is it, I wanna see you beg." he teased you."Please I want you to fuck me" you begged.He groaned.
"Please."you begged again.
"Fine then" he growled. He started slowly moving his dick inside you.Even thought it still felt good you wanted him to go harder and faster "Harder Inoske" you said betwen moans.
As if he was suprised by your statement he slowly leaned in and said" Oh i'll show you harder" and with that he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in to you in a rough pace, you moaned and started metting his thrust.Your walls were clenching him making Inoske groan loudly." Gonna cum in your pretty pussy yeah baby?"he said as he neared his orgasm." Yes want your cum Inoske" you said imediatly."Gonna make you so full of my cum yeah thats what you want dont you baby".Its when he said that the ropes snapped inside of you making you cum.But he wasnt stopping, being sensitive from that orgasm you were feling more pleasure than before.At this point you where a moaning mess, blabering and whining Inoskes name, at this point your neighbours where gonna have a sleepless night.Feling your orgams rising again you came on his cock, at this point he was moaning from the pleasure, murmuring something about you having his kid and thats when he squirted his hot cum in you stomach just the thought of you being filled with his cum made him see stars as he rode out his orgasm he pulled out, but then he saw that his cum was leaking a bit out of you.Getting two of his fingers he pushed them inside your pussy making you moan softly. Laying down on your bed he said "Such a cute girl"he said before cuddeling you to sleep.
A/n hope yall enjoy girls
#inoske#inoske smut#inoake hashibira#kny smut#demon slayer#demon slayer smut#smut#y/n x inoske#y/n x inoske smut
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Omega Shame Part 1
Summary: After spending most of your life on suppressants and ignoring your second gender, you finally decide to embrace who you are with your alphas support. But what happens when your alpha Bakugou walks in on you nesting and sparks memories of your past trauma?
warnings: ABO, Nesting, ANGST ending with fluff,
***
Nesting. This was something you hadn't even attempted since you were but a small pup. Both suppressants and fear had kept any desire for this activity far away from you, until a couple months ago. That was when you got a courting proposal, your first ever.
It was a necklace, and not just your typical alphas 'just learned how to make jewelry with string'. No. This necklace required welding, a skill you had no idea about, but that just made sense for your alpha to poses. The chain was a simple silver, leading down to a locket with intricate holes on its top layer, creating an almost explosive like design. The cloth that sat inside was a ruby red color that matched the alphas eyes, and the scent it held was strong of caramel and ash.
Of course if Bakugou was to make a courting gift, his was going to be the best you had ever seen.
You had wasted no time in placing the necklace around your neck, relaxing as his scent filled your nose. It was from this point that you knew Bakugou would make an amazing alpha for you. After all, if he put so much effort into the courting gift, you could only imagine the effort he would put into courting you. Even then in typical Bakugou fashion, he passed all expectations.
It started with the way he would make you lunches, walk you to wherever you needed to go, and made sure to give you a thorough scenting only after he got permission. He always showed concern for your physical and mental wellbeing, stopping you from pushing yourself too hard in training and even scolding you for your self deprecating jokes.
“No one gets to talk down about my omega. Especially not my omega.” He had growled at you once. Again Bakugou did something unexpected, making your omega purr at a growl.
It felt so nice to have someone who cared about you. Someone who encouraged you to stop hiding your second gender from everyone but those in your own class. Not that you had even let your class discover on purpose, but the stressful situations class A had gotten in over the years did wonders for wearing off suppressants and scent blockers.
He, along with your other classmates, had been building up your confidence in your secondary sex for years now. Bringing you to the realization that being an omega didn't mean that you were weak or any less than betas or alphas. Momo and Ochako were omegas after all, and they were some of the strongest people you knew. So once you had gotten an alpha your omega was basically begging to be set free, and you didn't feel like you had to deny it anymore.
So here you were, after 3 months of being off of the medications your hormones and instincts were finally leveling back to normal. It was something you had never experienced before, but you had Bakugou to help support you along the way. That's why you needed his scent in your nest. No matter how nauseous you felt walking into the young alphas room while you knew he was training, your omega refused to continue the day without at least one peice of his clothing. More than that and you were sure you would be sent into a panic attack. You had no idea how he would react to you doing this. Would he be disgusted? Angry?
Ironically the only thing calming your thoughts was to continue building the nest. Pillows upon pillows methodically shoved between various stuffed animals and blankets became nest shaped as the time passed. Soon enough you were left with just one item left, one of his favorite skull shirts. You had wanted to take something he would miss less, but they weren’t drowned in his scent like this one was. You sat back into the middle of your nest to take a thorough look around. You didn’t want to take too long to decide a place for it by now as you were getting tired. Not to mention you were going to go out on a movie date with Bakugou so you also needed to get ready for that. You would have checked the time if you weren’t so fixated on your task, and that would turn out to be a huge mistake.
You had finally found the perfect place for his shirt when you heard your door open from behind you. In the middle of slipping the clothing item over your pillow you froze as your heart began to race. Your omega knew it was an alpha before you knew who it was and she let out a chirp before you could stop it.
All you could remember was the first time this had happened, an Alpha walking in on your nest. You were seven, not old enough to even present as an omega but tendencies could show early in childhood. You were excited and happily humming as you arranged your blankets, stuffed animals, and your parents best smelling clothes into small yet sturdy walls in the shape of an oval on your bed. You couldn’t help but feel safe, like you would no longer fall off your bed in the middle of the night, or that monsters or other intruders would quickly avoid hurting you once they got just a single sniff of your parents alpha scents. You were proud when you were finished and immediately snuggled into it for a nap, only to wake up to the scent of rotting eggs. A clear indicator your father was both near and very angry. All the yelling and trashing of your hard work that happened next was just a blur. But you could remember how you felt the entire time so vividly. The way your lungs seemed incapable of taking in air, the trembling of your hands and especially the weakness in your knees. Most of all, you remembered the absolute terror as your safe space was invaded. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as fast as your heart would allow it, and you could only sit back and watch.
It was that day that you first became aware that there was something wrong with you. Something gross, weak, and worth hating.
That’s why even when the scent of Bakugou filled your nose, your heart still didn’t slow down. In fact, it only sped up when you finally turned around to look at him, all of the hope you had gotten by convincing yourself he would be happy you were embracing yourself quickly diminishing. His brows furrowed more than normal and his mouth was set in a deep scowl, slightly open just enough that his naturally large canines poked out.
He was angry.
“Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone?! You were so eager to force me to agree to this date and then you don't even respond when I-” Your thoughts were racing far too fast to actually hear what he was saying. Your omega could only think of one thing, your alpha was angry with you. You messed up and now he was angry with you. It was just like your parents, you should have listened to them when they told you it was stupid to nest.
But you had worked so hard on it, and it made you feel so good. You didn’t want your nest to be torn apart again. The smell of smoke wafted from the alphas' palms as you were too caught up in your memories to really hear him. Hear how he was angry with you for forgetting about your date, angry that you had stood him up and too busy being upset to even notice that you were sitting in a nest. The smell of smoke invoked just another event in your mind, one that happened when you had first presented as an omega at 13. Something that caused the damn behind your eyes to finally break.
“PLEASE DON’T DESTROY MY NEST” You Omega sobbed, distressed chips flooding from your chest like air. “Please, please!”
Your outburst startled the Alpha into silence. He could only stand there and watch as his omegas scent was filled with fear as she wiped at her eyes aggressively. A first he was confused, letting his body pump out comfort pheromones instinctually as he let himself observe the situation. You were dressed only in your school uniform, clearly having been building the nest that surrounded you from the time you entered the dorm room to when he had burst into your room, now far past dark. You were trembling too, body curled up in on itself as you hiccupped and begged.
“Please, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorryyy! Just please dont destroy my nest.” Your voice cracked and it resonated painfully in his ear and his heart dropped. Why did you think he would destroy your nest? Sure he wasn't the best alpha but he wasn’t a monster. Did you really think he would destroy the one place where you felt safest? A weight grew in his chest that left as a deep growl,
“Here.” He growled, “Probably best if we just end this bullshit.”
This was all your fault. If you hadnt built this stupid nest in the first place, or even started crying like a fucking baby then this wouldnt have happened. But you were a weak omega, and just like your parents said, no one can love someone so weak. Especially not someone as powerful as Katsuki. You shouldn’t have let yourself believe that they were wrong for even a second. You had thought that Bakugou would be the one who would love you for who you truly were. But that was naive. No one could love such a burden. No one could love you.
The drop of the crafted bracelet to the ground seconds before your door slammed, leaving you alone once more in your room, proof enough of that.
Your parents were right.
A flame of anger lit in your chest. Why were you so unloveable just the way you were? Why couldn’t you just be different? Why couldn’t you be an alpha like your parents had wanted?
You could feel your nails extend into claws as the hair on your body raised. You glared at the soft material weaved together around you as hot tears built up behind your eyes. This time instead of being fueled by fear they were fueled by rage and resentment.
You were so angry. So angry at youself, at your weak omega, and especially at your stupid nest. You couldn't help but let a couple tears fall as you let your anger get the best of you, and you didn't stop it until you were heaving in the middle of your disaster of a room. Surrounded by torn pieces of fabric and the other contents of your room scattered by your tantrum, you finally let yourself breath.
You turned around to see the item you had been avoiding, your pillow with bakugou's shirt. With a deep breath you grabbed a hold of the object, digging your claws into its plush softness. The caramel ash smell that permeated the air only helped to break down the remaining bits of your anger. And you didn’t want to be left alone with your despair just yet.
With the release of your breath a ripping sound could be heard. The shirt split and cotton popped out from the opening like popcorn. Once you had successfully dissected what had been a comfort item you threw it somewhere away from you and took another deep breath.
Now you were finally alone. Just you and your reality. You could really feel how much pain your omega was in as your hair began to lower and your normal nails returned. You had heard about this pain before. A deep one in your chest, heartbreak. Your omega seemed to curl around that feeling. Of rejection. Self hatred. That no one would ever need you, let alone want you. You could feel yourself start to slip into the limbo of numbness and searing pain.
An Omega Depression.
You remembered learning about it back when you were in middle school, most people were beginning to present as their second sex. Your teachers had emphasized how important it was to get medical attention at the first signs, you knew how dangerous it was, but all you wanted to do was lay there on the floor. You were tired, and what was the point? No one cared about you, not your parents… not Bakugou. Your throat strained painfully at that thought. Bakugou didn’t want you, and it was your fault.
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha omegaverse#bakugou katsuki x reader#alpha bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#mha omegaverse
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Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)
Warnings:Not proof read, swearing
Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.
Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.
You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.
You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.
“Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.
Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.
That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.
But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.
JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.
The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.
Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.
The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.
“Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.
Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.
“Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.
You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled.
“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys.
“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck.
“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.
He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.
“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.
“They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.
“I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.
You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.
You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.
You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.
You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.
You:????
Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?
You:Im not with Rafe
Kie:Seriously like are you ok
You:Im fine lol
Kie:But why are you with Rafe?
You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.
“I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.
You:Can you keep a secret?
Kie:Yeah
You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?
Kie:You dumb idiot
Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?
Kie:Hoe you could do better
Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?
Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ
You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.
You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything
You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened.
“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh.
“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.
You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.
“This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.
He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks.
“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel.
“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.
“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.
He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.
You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down.
“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting.
“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.
“(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.
“No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you.
“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.
You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you.
“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face.
“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.
“He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach.
“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him.
“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.
You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches.
“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.
You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.
At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.
He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.
John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.
But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.
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#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe fluff#rafe fic#drew starkey#outerbanks#outer banks netflix
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Power of Words - Chapters 5
Molly is overwhelmed with how much has changed, including his body. Caleb helps him feel a bit more normal.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056542
It could have been minutes, or hours, that Molly sobbed into Caleb’s neck. He didn't have a grip on time, let alone his current reality, so he let himself cry until his voice was hoarse, and his cheeks tight with dried tears. He wasn't sure when he had sunk to the floor, but Caleb had gone with him, holding him close, cradling Molly in his arms as he sobbed his way to exhaustion.
It wasn't that Molly was sad or unhappy really, but he was experiencing a sort of onslaught of grief of his own death. Of all the adventures he missed, the moments he didn’t get to share. Complicating it was that he knew that his friends, people he had grown to love over an impossibly short time, now had images of him hurting them that he didn’t have. Why else had they been scared of him, wary of his return?
And then there was the issue of him. This body. The coat had helped ground him, but it only lasted a short while. Every reflection in the glass that he caught, every flinch when he approached one of the Nien too fast, every time he looked at his own hands and saw the missing rings and golden caps on his fingers … It reminded him of the fact that he had been lost, and someone else had been piloting this body.
The mixture of all the upsetting feelings, with the beauty of all the ways he had been remembered - preserved - created chaos of spilling out feelings that he couldn't help but let out in embarrassing sobs. The only thing that was coxing him back was Caleb’s hand, drawing circles on his back, humming some lullaby he faintly recognized.
There had been a time before, when he had come out empty and hollow from the grave he had been left in, that the only way Yasha had been able to calm him was to sing him a song meant for the Gods. A prayer pressed to melody. Caleb was humming it now, while rubbing his back. When he was able to steady his breathing enough, Molly managed to ask him about the song.
“How do - did Yasha give you the song?” His voice was still quiet, more of a whisper, but the ever preceptive Caleb still heard him.
“Yes, she shared it with me on a particularly hard night, seeing as we both can speak celestial.”
Molly had never thought to ask what language the song had been in, so many languages and things had been forign to him at the time. It didn't surprise him that Caleb had memorized it. He wanted to thank Caleb again, but it wouldn’t have conveyed how actually grateful he was. He stayed there for a few more moments, his cheek pressed to the man's chest, horn resting on his shoulder, and his tail wrapped tightly against his waist. It was only until he felt the ache of tiredness in his own bones, and remembered who he was holding on to, that he let go.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“It is alright Mollymauk, I only care that you are okay.”
Caleb didn't let Molly get very far in his self-conscious retreat, clasping him at the elbows and looking him firmly in the eyes. Molly wasn’t okay, but he also wasn’t not. He was caught in between glee at being alive again, and horror that someone else had been living for him in the meantime. And then there was that unspoken dread, the one that he was constantly trying not to think of, because what if Lucien ….
“It is alright to need time. I will do everything in my power to give you all the time you need to be okay.” Caleb’s words were like an incoming tide, slowly washing away at the edges of Molly’s worries.
“I am n- it’s just that…” He struggled find the words to try to express how he was feeling everything too much right now, and he really wanted to feel just like himself. Caleb stayed silent and just waited until Molly could compose himself to try again. “It’s a lot. The whole dying, being possessed by your former self - well a sad sack of a soul that was not me- and then living again to-” Molly gestered the gorgeous window and room that surrounded them. “-and still feel, I don't know, like I am not really here. Like I haven't earned the right to it.” Molly hadn’t really understood the weight of his emotions until he spoke aloud, and then he felt his eyes threatened to spill again. But of course, Caleb came to his rescue once more.
“Ah, I think I understand. I believe I can help, if that is alright?”
How Caleb could do anything more for him was beyond imaginable. He had already brought Molly back from his unconscious prison and a chance of life, given him a not only decadent room but one that represented his life, and most of all - Caleb had offered Molly an incredibly close embrace when he needed to cry out the most. Still, he chose to follow the human when they disentangled, and he had been led to the gorgeous red vanity he had admired before.
Caleb pulled out the overstuffed stool, and motioned for him to sit. He did so, admittedly a tad cautiously, since he didn't know what Caleb wanted from him. Nervous hands pulled out the top long drawer, but Molly couldnt take his eyes away from Caleb’s face, trying to see why the man was suddenly shy. He was used to Caleb being reserved, self-deprecating, humble to a fault, that was until he came back, and he found himself with a wizard that was more self assured and hopeful.
“My memory is not perfect, close, but - um - some things can be misremember, so if you would like any changes or if I got anything wrong …”
He looked down at the drawer as Caleb spoke. It was lined in a lavender velvet that almost perfectly matched his skin. Inside was every single piece of jewelry that he was currently missing, the outlandish bits of glitter and gold that Molly had used to set himself apart. From his earrings, the chains that had been in his horns, to the cuffs he had worn around his tail.
“I am not sure which set you would like. I tried to capture each I could remember.” Caleb was being far too modest. There laid perfect versions of every variation of his jewelry from when they had met in Trostenwald to when they left Hupperdook.
“The last ones.” His voice was still rough from crying, but Caleb ignored it and started to lift the various pieces from its place. Molly had wanted to say ‘Oh the ones that I was wearing when I died.’, but he didn't. He didn't want to taint why these were his favorite. How he had eavesdropped on Jester trying to convince Yasha to tell her which one he would like more, the horn cuff with matching jade studs, or the crescent at the end of a teardrop earring that had a chain that would connect at the top of his ear. While Yasha had tried to convince her money would be better spent elsewhere, Molly could remember Nott sneaking up and simply pocketing both sets. She later presented them to Molly in front of the other women. “That shop was horrible, nothing worth taking, but they wouldn’t leave … so here.” He knew she hadnt meant it, that she was actually offering friendship, not earrings. He took and cherished them all the same.
Caleb was gentle, fastening the earrings with care, being impossibly soft with his horns while he placed the jewelry. Molly didn't say a word, Caleb knew where every bit went. He hadn’t meant to screw his eyes shut, but it was the only way to prevent more tears, those of anxiety, from falling. It wasn't until he felt a thumb slowly pressing gentle circles at the base of his horns, that he was able to blink his eyes open again. Caleb was kneeling in front of where he sat, hands still massaging this temple.
“Would you like to look?” he asked. Molly nodded, though only after a moment. Caleb pulled out a hand mirror, as though he knew that he couldn't turn to look at himself in the large one hanging above the vanity quiet yet. He took the matching ornate mirror and looked at just his horns, then to his ears, and then to his face. His horns and ears were familiar, grounding him in the memories that he felt were just yesterday. They gave him considerable relief compared to the reflections he had caught earlier, that looked nothing like him, but that of Lucien.
It was when he got to his actual face, did he feel the weight of sorrow again. It was still him, of course, but his hair was long and the curls greasy were uncared for. His lips were wind chapped and cracking. The hallows of his cheeks were more pronounced. It was only then that Molly realized how much weight he had lost, his already slender frame now reduced to just what was necessary. It was obvious that Lucien had not cared for his body, not with good food or consideration for its frame.
Molly tried not to let the disappointment show, because the jewelry really had help, and he appreciated Caleb’s sweetness, but there was still a part of him that was missing, hollow. Try as he might, Caleb apparently had the gods on his side.
“Not enough, ja? That is alright, give me just another moment.”
Molly didn't know how this man knew what was going on in his head, especially when he had only spoken a half a dozen or so sentences since entering this magical room. All the same, Caleb rose from his knees and crossed the room where a thick silk rope hung, and pulled on it twice. He couldn't hear what the other man said, but it was brief, and then Caleb was back his side, opening drawers again.
“I will admit, I do not know your preferences, but these are the cosmetics that Jester prefered, I only altered them to what I thought you might have enjoyed.” Molly chose to ignore the past tense, especially when Caleb pulled out several different vials of hydrating oils, scented balms for blisters, and …. A beautiful array of gold tinted make-up.
“God’s, Caleb! How much did you spend on this?!” Molly couldn’t help admonish while admiring a glistening jar of lavender body oil.
“Nothing but my imagination.” Caleb supplied, as though it was the most natural answer in the world. Catching Molly’s confusion, he continued. “This is actually a demiplane, it only lasts for 24 hours, and you can not take out what you did not bring in other than what you consume.” Caleb looked apologetic, as though that wasn’t work that only Gods should be able to do. “So while you may wear anything you want while you are here, unfortunately if it is made of magic, it won't survive outside of the tower’s walls.” Molly didn’t care, it was grateful just the same for what Caleb was giving him. The wizard handed him a balm for his lips, and opened another drawer and pulled out a delicate-looking comb.
“There is a bath on the other side of the dresser, if you have the energy for that. I am sure Jester would be willing to cut your hair, if you would like. But how about I comb it out first, and you can decide if you want that later?” Caleb’s offer warmed him, so he nodded and let the man comb through the knots of his hair, while Molly took advantage of the balms and lotion. They worked in comfortable silence for several moments. Caleb was careful and calm, relaxing Molly enough that he felt is eyes fall closed again, but this time to just sit and feel the small touches of fingers on his scalp and running through his hair. It wasn’t until he felt a small tap, that he looked and saw a cat he’d never met, somehow holding a bowl of fruits and bread and a large glass of water.
“Ah yes. Thank you.” Caleb took the bowl and set it on the table next to Molly. “If you are hungry. But please, drink this.” The glass of water was pressed into his hands, and Molly readily gulped most of it down. “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask. The cats will bring you what you need.” How that was possible, was beyond him. But he had also been bitten by a wessel that was also apparently a god, so anything could be possible then.
Molly took a few of the grapes, and let himself relax again as Caleb finished with his hair.
“I am done. Does that feel better?” Caleb asked, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to look again. He did anyways, in the larger mirror on the wall, and was pleasantly surprised. His skin was still a bit pale, but no longer ashy with lack of moisture. He did even mind the longer hair, now that Caleb had worked out the tangles, the longer curls falling past his shoulders. He wondered if Yasha would braid it around his horns. His lips even looked more like his, smoothed and shining from the balm. He pressed his fingers to them and hummed a please affirmative to Caleb.
“Good, would you like me to call fetch Yasha for you?”
Yes. He missed her terribly, it felt like it was just yesterday that he had been terrified about how she was because she had been taken from him by slavers. But he still wasn’t quite ready to confront that.
“In a bit, stay with me?” Molly couldn’t read Caleb’s expression, it was a mixture of surprise and warmth. He didn’t say anything, but followed him to sit on the edge of the ridiculous bed. Caleb seemed to be looking to Molly for clues of what to do, so Molly sat close and rested his cheek on the wizard's shoulder. When he didn't flinch, or stiffen like Molly would have expected, he took it as a sign that this was ok. His tail wrapped lazily around Caleb’s ankle, and he drew little patterns on Molly’s knee. They stayed like that for only gods know how long, in comfortable silence, letting the tiefling clear out his mind from all the clutter and noise the day brought. He was beginning to feel like he could maybe, possibly, start process the day’s emotions.
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Hi!
What do you think about Iorveth in realationship? And can you write differences (if you think they will be), if his "love" is human or elf.
yeah! i can!
as a multishipper (heehee) ill just write for all of them bc i imagine each take place during VERY different times in his life. it also describes the relationship and that dynamic so yea. i hope this is what u wanted. oops
its also a bit long!! so there is a cut
tw: (all are mentioned and its not too in deth but be careful) death, trauma, drinking
first, id like to start of with iorveth as a youngster:
-he was probably rlly fucking hot as teen/young adult before he really got involved in the scoia'tael and got the scar and probably. slept around a lot. he probably wasnt big on commitment as he was young and maybe was in a few long(ish) term relationships but he mostly just chilled until his parents were killed by humans and he got his scar
next, onto beginnings of scoia'tael years/cedric:
-i think that iorveth and cedric joined together as friends but gradually grew closer
-but, after he got the scar i think it fucked up his self esteem so he was a lot less open with his affections
-the trauma of losing his parents and being there was. in short. not good.
-i feel like he definately got incredibly invested in the scoia'tael during this time because it and cedric were all he had
-and he dearly loved cedric, and although he had lost a ton of his self esteem, he found strength in cedric and they were a power couple for a few decades. the slept together, they cuddled, they held hands whenever they had the chance, and they truly truly loved each other very much
-until cedrics health/mental health got worse and they broke up (which broke both their hearts), and iorveth blamed himself when cedric left the scoia'tael.
moving onto ciaran:
-ciaran (as per my previous hc on him) lost his parents as a teen and was wandering around trying to get revenge on humans whenever he could for years before iorveth met him.
-naturally, iorveth fell hard.
-but, after cedric left he decided to bottle it up and ignore bc he didnt want to ""ruin"" anyone else again by being too invested in the scoia'tael.
-unfortunately for iorveth, ciaran also fell in love with him, and after years of waiting when hes second in command, ciaran confessed
-iorveth flipped the fuck out because he was like. no. that cant be possible! im unlovable and i hurt people and im just going to ruin him!
-this is partially because of what happened with cedric, and partially because ciaran (although CERTAINLY an adult), is definately younger, and iorveth thinks he deserves better than him
-he knows what hes done for the scoia'tael and knows hes not a good person, and hopes that he can scare ciaran into leaving.
-it doesnt work. and they both end up crying.
-once they are together though, there is a definate change in their relationship vibe from iorveth and cedrics. they certainly sleep together and cuddle and do all the relationship things that cedric and iorveth did, but iorveth is clearly holding something back
-they decide that while they both love each other dearly, they cannot be in a health/stable relationship with just each other because its clear that iorveth is in no way able to properly be in a relationship at that moment
-they decide to open up the relationship and thats where vernon roche comes in
yeah. vernon roche. this is where iorveth sorta has a. oh fuck its a human moment.
-as you all know, roche was the leader of the scoia'tael in flotsams greatest enemy, the blue stripes, a special forces commando designed to stop the scoia'tael.
-after having a WHOLE enemies to lovers situation, they find themselves in a situation.
-they both love each other. and they are both two war criminals who FINALLY end on the same side after years of fighting (lets just say iorveth joined for the kaer morhen fight against the wild hunt) and it seems like everything is fine
-its not.
-first of all, they both have lots and lots of issues other than that they are both war criminals:
1. iorveth has never dated a human before, let alone a man he nearly killed and has nearly killed him on many occasions.
2. iorveth feels like hes betraying the ideals of the scoia'tael along with his parents for dating a human, and this feeling hits even moreso bc its roche.
3. iorveth has loads and loads of attachment issues, and even though he and ciaran still have their thing going on (that roche is aware of and understands), he still really hasnt been in any recent relationships that havent ended in someone leaving
4. iorveth really doesnt quite understand human customs other than what he can tell from spying. he spends lots of time in the woods and knows far more about trade routes to and from flotsam than he really knows of human culture. its almost embarassing.
5. iorveth sometimes gets worried its all a ploy to get roche to kill him and that theres plans to hurt the former scoia'tael due to anti-elf racism
moving onto roches issues, which while there are less of, they dont help:
1. as a child of a sex worker and single mother, roche found himself also getting involved in sex work, which gave him consent issues bc he really did have a choice in the matter bc it was do the job or starve.
2. hes a half elf but right before he was drafted into the army he cut the tips of his ears off to make him look more human. this makes it hard for him to connect w iorveth bc he really doesnt know elf customs, but doing human customs just never felt right
3. he also has some issues from his previous relationship w foltest, which was Not Even slightly healthy, and is still trying to cope w the realization that it was worse than he thought
all of this results in a lot of miscommunication, especially because iorveth (for a long time DURING the relationship) didnt know roche was half-elf and wanted to do all the elven traditions he hadnt been able to join. they dont know what the other wants, and they dont know what the other needs because once again. issues galore. iorveth also probably would be more able to get into fights than any other relationships (because unlike ciaran or cedric, roche is abrasive) which means that there would be a lot of hurt at the beginning of it.
HOWEVER, after they actually talk, and roche is like. hey im half elf, and more than willing to do things the traditional elven way (which iorveth is far more familiar and comfortable with), they sorta get into a routine of things.
and it begins to be a secure and steady and healthy relationship.
tdlr: iorveth has shitty self worth, trust issues and struggles with communication sometimes so things get muddled but when he falls, he falls hard. but the relationships hes in are very different depending on who it is. hes more comfortable with other nonhumans, but even before knowing roche is half-elf, he would give his life for them.
#thank u for asking!!!#hope this is what u wanted eblkslw#iorveth#ciaran aep easnillen#cedric witcher#iorveth/cedric#iorveth/roche#iorveth/ciaran#the witcher#witcher 2#my hcs
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Homesquared Chapter 16
Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?
Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)
“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “
pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening
OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy
Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”
JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so
and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?
Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much
ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out
ROXY: but so far so good
ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!
Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol
The narration is really trying to make John nervous though
OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that
“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“
lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD
Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want
Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want
JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.
JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?
JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?
JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?
JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?
JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.
JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.
JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?
JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.
JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.
JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.
JOHN: it DID feel good.
JOHN: i DO feel free.
JOHN: sorry.
ROXY: no need 2 apologize
ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn
JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.
Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening
because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues
remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had
Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him
now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be
John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?
ROXY: but like now that u mention it
ROXY: *meaningful pause*
JOHN: …
JOHN: i
JOHN:
John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about
ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit
Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.
ROXY: ok or just like push when i push
ROXY: we both got sick muscles
ROXY: no other adjectives necessary
JOHN: yeah ok.
Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it
Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!
oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha
and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde
Lil HAL
lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD
This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?
That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though
that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone
Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that
lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha
CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.
CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.
Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction
CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.
have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)
Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda
CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.
CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".
CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.
yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far
CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".
yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t
one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility
More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real
CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity
that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol
but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is
Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)
It’s all inter-related I tells ya
ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love
JOHN: aw.
You say that now but
CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.
CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.
CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!
CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.
yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else
time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along
that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room
same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb
the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are
CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.
CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.
CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.
CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!
So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else
nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also
JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?
CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!
CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.
CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.
JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.
CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U
CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.
CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=
CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.
CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!
So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing
JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?
JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?
CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.
CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.
JOHN: oh.
CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.
CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.
CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u
JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...
yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse
the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative
Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so
CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.
CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.
ROXY: its total bs is what it is
CALLIOPE: right, yes.
CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.
CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.
Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure
To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this
or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead
is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop
Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either
and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences
That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event
And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..
ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh
ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.
ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense
ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail
CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.
ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point
CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.
CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.
CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.
CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.
CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?
I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance
and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it
But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again
and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself
ROXY: thx babe
ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or
JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.
(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)
so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now
that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose
John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you
Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man
John: I didn’t say the word gender-
Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later
John: Hmm, later then. :)
Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)
shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD
#Homesquared#june egbert#john egbert#yeah theres no way there not gonna bring up June Egbert as a apossibility now#Roxy couldn't have quirked her eyebrows harder at the fourth wall if they had tried#Homestuck#I'm basically convinced now lol#that plus my reaction to chapter 14
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shouldn’t have
hi im back with another fic >< but it’s eunhae’s uwu. read this while listening to raining spell for love to experience more angst ;;-;; enjoy my first eunhae’s fic and my first angst fic!
listen to raining spell for love :
https://open.spotify.com/track/7j4r8X575ZnyWk0jkukNp7?si=irOj7OmgRFynzGCaL754dg
It's been so wrong. Hyukjae always feels it so wrong. But he did loving him. He's already falling deep. But now it cant be anymore. This is impossible. He shouldn’t have loved him from the start. He knew he's always been wrong for having this feeling. He knew it will break himself someday. He knew he will be in this state of the worst heartbreak ever. But how can he (un)love this angel? He had already fallen. Fallen for him too deep.The fact he's been in love for his one and only best friend is already hurting. The one who's been always with him from his early days until now. But now, he's shattered.
Hyukjae and donghae still been friends till now. 20 years old friendship. They had been known each other since their middle school days. it’s been so long. They went through a lot till today. They overcome all of their problems together and they depend on each other a lot. Everyone will say they have their unique friendship. They always been so close and too many things that only of them understand. They’re just too close. They had many similarities in their own way. People said that it’s too much similarities for them to have and their chemistry is so unbelievably amazing. It’s like they are naturally meant for each other. Just like a pair of shoes.
It’s so natural and a common thing to say they always crash at each other’s houses. That was before eunhyuk moved back to the dorm. back then donghae always comes to eunhyuk’s apartment almost everyday. and vice versa. but it mostly donghae who asked to come or donghae just comes to eunhyuk’s without notice. They always been like this. Donghae who likes skinships a lot while eunhyuk just lets donghae do whatever to him. Maybe some people will think that their moments are just fanservice but thats just how they are. they’re just being the way they are.
They always rely on each other a lot actually. They almost didnt keep a secret between each other. they knew each other too well more than any other members. They even knew each other’s individual schedule or events. like who who will eunhyuk meet after this, or what will donghae do tomorrow, those kind of stuffs. every lil things they did, they always knew for each other. they are just unbelievably close.
But who knows, one of them is really falling. It’s too much for him to receive these affections alone. He always keeps it cool but deep inside he might explode. It's already long enough for hyukjae to love him since then. The way he keeps hiding his feelings for himself. Not telling anyone about it. Imagine hiding this stupid feeling alone for the closest person in this fucking world. He did suffering for himself. He always keeps it for himself. He didnt want to ruin this freaking long friendship just because of this dumb feeling. Donghae loves skinships so much. Like soooo much. He always touchs hyukjae unconsciously. At first, hyukjae always gets used to it when donghae did sudden hugs or held his hand. He already gets used to it. it’s been 20 years ofcourse he must get used to it. Donghae is indeed a clingy person so he always clings into hyukjae unconsciously like a habit. That’s a problem actually. Hyukjae actually didnt mind it at all when donghae being such a clingy ass but sometimes he cant handle that.
Actually there’s one time he cant handle it. That time when they did a comeback for D&E, they did a blueroom live. Then they talked about their nicknames for each other. When they talked abt donghae’s nickname “haeknojam” then donghae starts to kiss hyukjae’s hand suddenly while laughing like an idiot and he did it twice! in a fucking live broadcast. Hyukjae always keeps his cool and just lets donghae did it. he just said “Aniyoo” for times responding to donghae. That time actually, his heart almost explode. He thought why he did these in a live broadcast. and why did he kiss hyukjae’s hand? hyukjae still cant figure it why he did it. that time after filming, donghae just acts like nothing happened. but hyukjae deep inside was flustered as hell but of course he acts like usual. Being playful and stuffs. Donghae just being himself too, being random and stuffs. Donghae always like this. It’s just hyukjae who’s been dazed and confused all the time. That time hyukjae tried so hard to calm his self down by jumping and dancing all the time. When donghae comes to ask,
“Hyukjae-ya, why are you practicing at this time, our schedule just ended right?”
“O-Oh i just wanna get myself sweaty,, i feel like my body stiffen, so yeah i keep practicing”
“Yeokshi uri d&e leader. dont push yourself too hard. promise me you will rest after this, okay?” he handed hyukjae a towel and circling it into his neck while then keep wiping his sweat in hyukjae’s cheeks with that towel
“u-uhm of course. thanks”
“youre welcome always, my E oppa~~ chat me when you arrive at the dorm okay? lets go home” replied him while smiling
“okay i will...”
then donghae went to the car and went home. hyukjae feels his knees are gone then he sat on the floor.
“why he keeps confusing me...... sigh”
day after day of their promotions went well. At the end of the promotions, donghae was not like his usual self. It’s not he completely different person but he’s less clingy. and he often checks his phone and sometimes smiling while looking at his phone. Hyukjae thought maybe donghae looked at some funny things on his insta but thats just weird because he’s being too often looking at the phone. then he often picks up his phone outside it’s like he hides something from hyukjae. It’s not usual for him to do that. He always picks up his calls in front of hyukjae but not right now. It’s been weeks he did that, but actually hyukjae didnt care at all. Maybe he had something that is really his privacy. so he didnt think about it too much. But, day by day passed and it’s been 1 month already. He still being like that. When hyukjae came to his apartment, actually donghae asked him to come but donghae keeps being on the phone. It’s not the real hyukjae if he hadnt been curious. He was curious as hell. At first he keeps resisting himself not to be curious but maybe he cant after all. When hyukjae prepared the food he bought for donghae, donghae suddenly put his phone and went to shower. Hyukjae hesitated at first but he didnt care so he went quick to the table and looked at donghae’s phone. He enters the passwords (actually he knew it because donghae already told him when they went to a drive together, donghae cant open the phone because he focused on driving so he asked hyukjae to reply his mother’s message) and checked his kakao and insta. then he found one person other than him and his family in his pinned chats in his kakao. Then he opened the messages.
Hyukjae never been so speechless before, it’s the first time. It turned out that person is donghae’s lover. He looked at those sweet messages and actually this saturday is their 3 months. they talked about how they can meet at saturday. it’s not just how his heart breaks in pieces. the fact he didnt tell him about it at all. and it’s been 3 months. how... hyukjae thought maybe if donghae told him, he can be prepared at anytime...
“i thought we keep no secrets... but this is actually my fault too. i did have secret. so i deserved this.”
“but it hurts like hell what the fuck....” then hyukjae put donghae’s phone back to its place. and tears keep falling without hyukjae realized himself. then he took his bag and left the food prepared for donghae. He left the house and cried on the way to the dorm. Hyukjae left a message to donghae via kakao.
Donghae who came out the bathroom after showering, becomes flustered.
“Hyukjae ya, how’s the food is it good?”
no answer,,
“Hyukjae, where-”
then he got notif from hyukjae
“sorry i left first, i have something to do. I already prepared the tteokbokki. Have a good meal”
Donghae was so confused but he ate the tteokbokki anyway. he still didnt feel something strange..
few days after that, super junior have a schedule together for an interview. It’s so obvious that hyukjae tried so hard to avoid donghae at all cost. He distants himself from donghae and avoid donghae’s affections. He tries to keep it cool and still jokes around to the members. but he only avoids donghae. when donghae tries to talk to hyukjae after the interview ends, hyukjae keeps telling him he must go home. then donghae holds hyukjae’s hand
“Lee hyukjae, whats wrong with you? you’re obviously avoiding me? did i do something wrong?”
“N-no at all. you’re just touching me too much.”
“but i always did these to you,and you’re okay with that”
“yes but right now it’s not. okay good bye i must go right now. let go”
“just tell me why... please...”
“you didnt need to know”
then hyukjae pulls his hand harder and finally donghae let him go. donghae becomes frustrated himself.
Leeteuk who saw this on the back feels there’s something wrong with these two...
Hyukjae becomes so distant from donghae day by day, but no one notices it. it’s just donghae who feels something wrong but hyukjae will never tell him why. the members didnt feel it weird either because the atmosphere while being together as full members still feel lively. It didnt sound wrong at all. but only leeteuk who feels something weird. leeteuk who sees them quietly when in a dressing room, donghae didnt talk to hyukjae at all. hyukjae too, he didnt intend to talk to donghae at all. hyukjae always talks to kyuhyun or yesung in their leisure time. and donghae who hangs out with siwon all the time. it feels natural. but it feels weird too. then leeteuk asks donghae to come outside...
“Hey whats wrong?” leeteuk asks
“Me? im fine? why hyung asks that?”
“hyukjae. seems like you both not in a good terms recently”
“oh that. i dont know either”
“ask him then what you did wrong”
“i have. but he said i didnt need to know?! he’s weird as fuck. how can i know what i did wrong while he’s being childish like that”
“hmmm, maybe you hide something and he did feeling betrayed or stuff? it may happen. those things always happen right for us”
“ah... maybe i know.....”
then donghae rushed to hyukjae.
“we need to talk”
“there’s nothing to talk about”
“hyukjae please.”
“let me go”
“lee hyukjae... please”
“fine. i’ll give you 5 minutes”
“you saw my phone right?”
“thats- yeah i didnt mean to but yes i saw that you actually had a lover”
“thats why you’re mad?”
“yes? ofcourse? i feel betrayed you didnt tell me at all. i thought we’re close enough to tell about those kinda stuffs” (actually there’s not the only reason donghaeya.....)
“im about to tell you that night actually.. sorry for not telling you, im afraid that youre uncomfortable with this... pls forgive me okay”
“i-im okay for those kinda stuffs. im happy for u bro actually. but it’s just i feel sad you didnt tell me..”
“ so you forgive me?”
“hm maybe?” hyukjae still feels uncomfortable with this, its like he didnt want to see this fucking handsome angelic face in front of him anymore
then donghae becomes so happy and hugs him rightaway. hyukjae quickly tries to let go of him.
“alright alright, let me go. lets just go home okay” donghae smiled happily after he heard he already been forgiven. but hyukjae still pretending. he pretends that it’s all okay for donghae for having a lover. but he’s not okay at all.
hyukjae forgives him but he cant face him actually and pretends to be fine all the time. everytime he meets donghae, he just feels uncomfortable. it didnt feel the same. hyukjae cant see him the same as before. hyukjae still keeps his cool and lets donghae did his skinships to him freely but deeply inside he is hurting. one day, he went to the building’s rooftop to get some fresh air in the middle of their schedule. Leeteuk suddenly comes to him.
“hyukjae ya....”
“oh whats wrong hyung?”
leeteuk doesnt say a word but immediately hugs him and pats his hair.
“i know it’s been hard”
hyukjae is flustered why he did this...
“hard? what do you mean hyung? hahaha”
“you loved him, am i right?”
“him?”
“eish stop pretending to be fine. i knew you two fights few days ago then you told him it was because he didnt tell you about his lover, it’s not the only reason right?”
“so you knew......”
“jtub told me that donghae already had a lover, donghae didnt tell me at first haha then he admitted it himself after then.”
“oh right.”
“what will you do then after this?”
“i dont know.. i cant keep pretending all the time. it hurts me to see his face it’s like i wanna punch him”
“even you loved him you want to punch him? lol”
“yes i hate that idiot smile of his until i want to-”
“kiss him so bad?”
“HYUNG”
“okay okay hahaha im kidding”
“but... sometimes i think of that too but ofcourse i wont do it”
“he kissed your hand in a live broadcast why wont you?”
“no way i would kiss him first. its just me who had this feeling. he never feel the same, he just likes to play with me. its confusing”
then hyukjae silents for a bit
“hyung.. is it okay for me to go for a while? i kinda want to distract myself for a while”
“its okay hyukjaeya. i respect all of your decisions as long as youre happy with it”
“ehm, it hurts so much seeing him these days. he keeps calling with his lover while there is me there in his house. thats fucking hurts. i cant do this anymore hyung. it’s like i wanna punch him for real. i hate having this feeling from the start.. i-i- *sobs*” hyukjae cried in leeteuk’s embraces. he cried so hard that time.
“shussh shussh it’s okay hyukjae.. it’s a natural thing for us to fall in love. it’s not our fault to fall in love in the first place.”
“heuk- heuk- but i hate feeling this way. i hate myself” hyukjae still sobbing
after crying for so long, leeteuk’s shirt becomes so wet then leeteuk just laughs
“how can you hide those red eyes hahaha”
“right..... i dont know......”
“here i bring sunglasses lol just go home after this okay, so the members wont be suspicious haha”
“thank you so much hyung.... youre the best”
“nah its always been my job to babysit all of you. so where would you go?”
“Japan. Maybe next week”
“okay, take care hyukjae. i will call you then”
then one day, hyukjae comes to his usual bar to hang out with donghae. but he comes alone. he feels like he wants to drink until he passed out for the last time before he goes to japan. then there’s jtub (donghae’s friend who is a composer too) who hangs out alone too.
“Oh hyukjae, you come. Alone? where’s donghae?”
“nah i just feel like drinking alone”
“why?”
“i dont know i just want it”
then hyukjae really drinks a lot like A LOT. jtub tries to stop him but hyukjae insists he must drink more
“stop it or you will pass out here”
“i ddont fckin caree.. it issss m-my pplaaan annywway tto ssleep hhere until tomorrowww”
hyukjae lost it. he really lost it. he’s blabbering random sentences just now
“why.. wwhy sshould i llove that iddiot, i wanna kick hhis fckin handsome fface riight nnow,,,,, bastaard hhow you come to pplay wwith myy ffeelingg llike this,, itt hurtts sso mmuch i hhate yyou” then he sobs
“argghhhhhhh my head’‘ss sppinning”
jtub didnt know who he was talking about but right now he needs to call someone to bring this idiot to come home
“hyukjae you need to come home.. i’ll call donghae”
“NOO DDONT CCALL THHAT BASTTARD” he tried to take jtub’s phone but it failed because he cant control himself because of the alcohol
“ah... so he’s heartbroken....... eish i didnt know that hyukjae is falling for his best friend.. eish let them finish this problem themselves i should back out”
“nno ddont him ppleasse, or i will kick hhis fucckin facce when hhe comess llater” then he sobs and passed out in the long table near the barista
few minutes later, donghae comes in a rush.
“donghae ya here!” jtub calls
“oh my, what did you feed him huh?!?”
“wow slow man, he’s drinking and paying those bottles himself you know, i tried to stop him but he insisted to drink it until morning.”
“why’s he like this... he never been like this before...”
“you didnt know? why’s he like this? really?”
“uhm no, why? do you know?”
“try to figure it yourself then, its your problems anyway.”
“so he’s like this , because of me?!”
“spoiler : yes”
“oh man, why... okay then i’ll be going first”
donghae tries to wake up hyukjae but still didnt get a respon.
“Hyukjae-ya lets go home”
“ehmmm i want to sleep here”
“but it closes soon. you must go home. let me take you home eung?”
then hyukjae wakes up and see donghae who’s ready to pick him up
“oh it’s lee donghae!”
“yep it’s me. lets go home okay?”
“the way i wanna kick your face but i didnt have the strength right now, i’ll just kick you tomorrow”
“pardon? what?” donghae flustered and shocked
“right? it’s on you bro lol” jtub said
“okay okay lets just go home” donghae took hyukjae in his shoulders and caught him by the waist. then they both go to hyukjae’s dorm with donghae’s car
hyukjae falls asleep in the car. and keeps talkin in his sleep a bit
“lee donghae you bastard”
donghae is surprised and turns his head to passenger’s seat.
“The fuck?!”
then hyukjae sleeps again
“why’s he like this and why me?”
they finally arrived at hyukjae’s dorm and kyuhyun didnt come home so it’s just the two of them there. donghae hardly brings hyukjae to his room in his druk state.
“im glad that you’re this tiny, i can bring you home easily”
then donghae puts hyukjae to the bed and takes off his jacket, socks, and shoes. he wipes hyukjae’s forehead too with wet towel too.. hyukjae wakes up suddenly.
“stop being so kind to me” he stops donghae’s hand from wiping his forehead
“huh? why? im your closest friend it’s my job to take care of you idiot”
“i can take care of myself well. just go” hyukjae turns his head to the left side and puts the blanket covering his whole body.
“why do you like this?”
“its not ur business”
“hyukjae ya... tell me whats wrong”
“Us. we cant be like this”
“why? you’re my closest friend-”
“We’re not supposed to be like this donghae ya. we must not”
hyukjae wakes up and turns into donghae.
“We.... cant be like this donghaeya... we cant be....” hyukjae starts to cry
“hyukjae... why cant we... “
“why are you crying.. dont cry...“ donghae said again while carressing hyukjae’s tears with his thumb
“ *sobs* we- cant- be- like this... we just cant.....” hyukjae is still sobbing while talking
“tell me why, what should i do to stop you from crying please dont cry it hurts seeing you cry like this” donghae said softly
“you.”
“me? why?”
hyukjae still crying and doesnt want to answer..
“hyukjae tell me... please.. i dont wanna see you cry...”
hyukjae then holds donghae’s hand in his cheeks...
he looked at donghae’s eyes with those falling tears..
“you deserved to hate me forever.”
hyukjae leaned in to donghae’s face and pressed a soft kiss into his lips.
hyukjae pulls out and donghae is flustered and confused...
“h-hyukjae w-why-”
“leave me right now”
“b-but you have to tell-”
“leave or our friendship ends. leave please”
“hyukjae-ya.... “
“PLEASE LEAVE. *sobs* please...”
then donghae gets up from the bed and leaves hyukjae alone...
that’s it. that’s the end. hyukjae’s first love comes to an end. that angel is finally gone....
hyukjae cries in his bed so hard... the worst feeling ever. he hates himself more than anyone else. but he must end it. he must end this stupid feeling. the overflowing feelings he had for his best friend for years. he will stop loving him no matter what.
“Thankyou for making me feel loved although actually it’s just me who feel that way... im happy... thankyou...” then he’s still crying for so long in the middle of the night
meanwhile donghae is feeling so flustered and mad. he didnt know why he’s mad. the fact his best friend cried because of him.. hyukjae’s eyes that told him everything. hyukjae’s puppy eyes that only shines everytime suddenly covered by the rain. the hard rain that falls because of him. he never knew. he never realized.. he didnt want to believe it. but it’s just feel so real. his tears falls in his cheek when hyukjae kissed him... he never feels the saddest kiss ever... it hurts so much. he didnt knoe either why it hurts so much. it feels like hyukjae will leave him for real... he cant imagine how his life would be without hyukjae.. it will never be the same..
donghae still feels confused.... he didnt know what to do after this... or tomorrow, or days after this.... he just didnt know what to do...
the next day, hyukjae is already in the airport waiting for boarding to Tokyo. his eyes are completely red becuase of crying that night before. He decides to go there to heal and repair himself. he just needs time alone for a while. he didnt know when he will be back to work as super junior. he’s already takin care of all of these with the company, and the company said yes. it’s up to him when will he decide to come back....
“hyukjae-ya, already at the airport?”
“eung hyung, there’s still 15 minutes before boarding”
“okay then, take care hyukjae... and one thing what if he asked me where you go?”
“hm, dont tell him hyung, just say that i want to spend my time alone.”
“fine i’ll do that. eish that insensitive bastard haha i’ll kick his face for you someday”
“nah hyung just let him be it’s my fault anyway for loving him in the first place. it’s never been his fault”
“aigu my precious dongsaeng already grown up”
“eish hyung your precious dongsaeng here is 34 years old”
“youre still a big baby to me anyway..”
“thankyou hyung. i’ll call you often when im in tokyo”
“yes sir!”
“oh its time for boarding, im off hyung, bye bye!!”
“okay take care hyukjae ya, have a proper meals okay?”
“of courseee goodbye hyung”
hyukjae finally ends his phone call with leeteuk and walks in to the plane. finally he made up his mind and try to heal himself first.. he’s afraid that this feeling disrupt his works with him. so he must repair himself more to become a better person..
meanwhile donghae who didnt know anything at all,,
he worked out like crazy... he’s already working out since morning. and it’s already evening. he worked out and worked out.. he did everything in the gym. he’s like a mad person right now. he didnt pick up the calls from everyone.. even his lover too..
the instructors there feels worried because it’s not usual for donghae to act like this. then the instructors try to call jtub, donghae’s friend who’s been at the same gym with him.
actually jtub is very busy right now so he cant go there to save that idiot friend from overworking his body. then jtub called leeteuk because leeteuk already said to him if donghae acts weird, he’s free to call him.
leeteuk comes to donghae’s usual gym rightaway after finishing his schedule.
“eomma ya. it’s already 7pm. and he’s been working out since 7 am?!?”asks him to the one of the instructors
“yes sir. he’s been like this since morning. we’re too scared to disturb him because he seems not in his right mind”
leeteuk walks in slowly to donghae.
“donghae ya”
donghae still wont listen he still in his threadmill
“lee donghae please come down.”
“come on donghae you never been like this, you never disobeyed my orders. come on donghae please stop this. you makes yourself sick”
donghae finally stops the threadmill and come down.
he falls rightaway in the floor.
“donghae-ya are you okay? hey? donghaeya?”
“hyung... it’s my fault...” after that, donghae lost his consciousness
Donghae wakes up in his house with leeteuk who waits for him.
“Oh are you okay? do you hurt yourself?”
“no-no im okay hyung..”
“eish why did you work out like that? you know it can kill you. what if i didnt come? who will take care of you? oh my god this kid. how old are you huh? youre fuckin 34 please grow up” leeteuk keeps nagging while wipes donghae’s forehead
“sorry hyung...”
“promise me you wont do this again oh god”
donghae just nods... then he suddenly remembers something
“i need to meet hyukjae.. i need-”
“stop he wont meet you”
“even he doesnt want to, i keep going to meet him”
“what would you say then? ask him for an apologize for something you didnt realize?”
“hyung... so you knew..”
“of course. just stop it. you wont ever meet him right now. you just cant”
“no hyung i must-”
“he’s leaving. he’s not in south korea.”
“what..... are you serious?”
“yes”
“where did he go? i can go right now”
“no you cant, just let him alone donghae ya. okay? please listen to me, he’s hurting. you never knew how he feels. because you never feels it. what do you want to say to him? anything that you would say, it wont heal him. because it’s on you. you’re the source of his broken state. he will overcome this someday. just wait okay?”
“but.... it hurts so much.. i dont know it just hurts so much seeing him cry.. seeing him so weak like that night. i really want to embrace him but he keep pushing me off, he keeps crying and crying.... his trembling voice when he tried to talk to me hurts me so much... he’s never showing this side of him for these time being.. i just didnt know what to do... it hurts so much seeing him in that state, i want to see him so fuckin much... i just- ” then he cant say anymore.. he’s loss at speech... he’s crying...
“hyung... why im late to realize this.... why..... he’s already left what should i do.... im fuckin stupid... im so fucking dumb......”
donghae cries in leeteuk’s shoulder.. leeteuk cant say anything... he just pats donghae’s back softly.. “just wait for him okay.... he’ll be okay..”
donghae still cant figure out why he’s also breaking.... he just feels that his heart is shattered knowing these situations at once..
confused, flustered, and mad. he’s mad at himself...
“how can i never realize in these time being?”
part 1 end
#eunhae#eunhaefics#eunhaefic#eunhyuk#donghae#super junior#suju#juheartsfic#bxb#superjunior#super junior fanfiction
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🌙TROUBLE🌙
arón piper imagine
🌼@bbaronpiper and I wanted to try something and got some basic keywords for a story and both of us wrote our own interpretation! A so seen little project🌼 hope you like it🌸
and check out her story as well TROUBLE
also check out her writings, shes amazing! @bbaronpiper
*
*
friday july 12th 2019
„Have you ever considered becoming a vegan officer?" you asked the tall handsome cop who sitting in front of you.
He looked at you in disbelief before speaking up:"Y/n, its one thing being a proud vegan but its another thing to carry out violet actions against Mr. Rodriguez. You overreacted and you have to deal with the consequences."
You scoffed and leaned back against your chair.
„And how long is that going to take here?"
He slowly lifted himself up from the wooden chair and turned to you once again, saying:"Apologize to him and maybe he wont sue you."
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.
He was the one who had provoked you by pushing you out of the way, making you fall. You had just asked him what that had been for and he had responded:"Get out of the way little girl. Maybe go to school instead of protesting against something you cant stop. Maybe eating some meat wouldnt harm you."
And yes maybe you had overreacted by kicking him in his left leg. But how were you supposed to know he had just had surgery?
When you had heard about the protest against animal cruelty in the middle of Madrid you had immediately called your best friend to tell her to make some signs.
And that said friend was now hiding somewhere, just as the cops had arrived she left you alone and ran.
In that very moment you could've screamed but you were too busy trying to hide. But they caught you eventually, thats why you were here.
„Alright Ms. Y/l/n, we only need your personal details and then you can go. You will receive a letter from us in the next week."
You looked up and listened to the police man talking to you. Then you grabbed your bag that's been sitting on the floor throughout this time and walked outside.
„Alright, sit down." An older woman ordered you.
You unwillingly sat down on another chair in the main area of the police station.
There were two other people you noticed. A young girl, maybe around the age of 11 who had probably lost her parents in the city. And a rather damaged boy your age, perhaps a little bit older, who had scars in his face.
Your gaze fell to his hand that had bleeding knuckles.
He noticed your stare and looked at you.
He didnt look very charming you figured. He looked pretty serious and was probably one of those guys that got into fights on the regular or maybe even did drugs.
„Full name." the unpleasant female cop yelled at you.
You looked at her and then took a deep breath. Your parents would kill you, but you had no choice, you were already in deep shit.
„Y/n (y/m/n) y/l/n)" you spoke and looked to the ground.
The lady mustered you and eventually wrote down the information.
„Birthday", „Place of birth" , „family status (parents names and birthdays)" and other personal information followed. You unwillingly answered each time.
Great, now you were officially fucked.
„Wait here." She said after she slammed the „questionnaire" on the front desk where a young woman took it and started typing something on her computer.
So you just sat there for what felt like an eternity until another police officer entered the room and grabbed a chair to sit in front of the guy with the bruises.
„Alright. So, beating up teenagers is now cool or why did you do it?" he asked him while leaning back.
The guy just laughed and then replied:"First of all, they are not teenagers, they are over 18. And second, this fucker wanted to rob me. I just defended myself."
You listened interested until they both looked at you, making you look away rapidly.
„So you're saying that this boy who is about 5'6 wanted to rob a man who already has a criminal record?"
The guy nodded and added:"I know how this sounds but look what he did to me! The guy can do karate. I just hit back to run away."
The officer took a long breath in before answering:"Well too bad you got caught and are already very well known here Arón."
The guy suddenly looked very mad again and leaned towards the old police man.
„I didnt fucking start this!"
The man got up, put the chair back to its original position and said:"I'll get the report ready Mr Piper."
The guy cursed and then leaned back against the wall.
You were looking at his face. The bruises you had noticed before looked very fresh, there was still some liquid blood in them. But in general he was quite handsome. He had a sharp jaw, a very chiseled face structure and a shaved head. He looked like a criminal, judging from how the criminals on tv look like.
„Qué??" he then asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.
„Uh nothing." you replied and coughed.
You turned your face away from him.
„First time in trouble huh?" he asked and you could hear the grin in his tone.
You looked back at him, looked him up and down and replied sassy:"Duh."
He chuckled at you.
Then he spoke:"Welcome to the real world."
You had to laugh at his word choice. Next he sat up right.
„Did you beat him up?" you then asked out of curiosity.
„Arón" stared right into your eyes and eventually stated:"Did you kick the man out of nowhere?"
You responded with a small laugh. „Yeah." he just claimed and looked around.
„I'm fucked." you mumbled after a couple of seconds.
You could feel him looking at you. „Nah the first time isnt as bad. Plus, you just kicked someone, you didnt kill anyone."
Your head shot around. „Ah someone knows his way around huh?"
Arón chuckled again. „Nah. Not yet." he smiled.
You noticed a little gap between his front teeth. He didnt look as dangerous when he smiled.
„You know I'm good at assuming things about people. And you dont seem like a killer girl." he suddenly said.
You smiled and scanned his face secretly.
„What do I seem like then?"
He grinned and the next thing he did was stare you up and down for a bit. Until he finally spoke:"Rich girl, who lives with her parents. She likes to say what she thinks and sometimes gets into fights because of that. But she's never been arrested before so mommy and daddy are going to ground you for that."
You scoffed at him.
But he wasn't completely wrong.
„Well. Okay." was all you could say. He was pretty right about his statement.
After sitting in the hall for a little, the old officer finally came back and handed you your ID.
„You can go."
You got up and grabbed your bag with your left hand.
„Hey princess, tell mommy and daddy I'm sorry for their criminal daughter." you heard Aróns voice as you wanted to leave the police station.
„Ha ha very funny." you replied and faked a smile that turned into a frown.
„Hey girly, can I crash at your mansion some time?" he yelled after you.
„Sure. But I wont tell you where I live." you grinned and looked at his expression.
He looked chill despite the fact that he was in trouble like you had been.
„Dont worry, I'll find you."
You nodded unbelieving and then finally kept walking.
Now you had to explain to your parents why you were late, and why you were expecting a letter from the police. Fuck.
•
•
You somehow managed to tell your parents exactly how it happened without being yelled at. They believed that it wasn't completely only your fault yet they werent happy about the fact that you ended up at the police. But on the other hand you had never had any problems with the law before and you were usually a good girl, so they werent worried as much as expected. You hadnt told them about the lawsuit yet though. That was a future problem.
As it was now the next day you were just at home, finishing some assignments for your second year of college that would start next week.
You had taken a shower after dinner and then went to your room to watch a show before heading to bed.
To be honest, you had almost forgotten about the whole lawsuit thing when you went to bed that night. It got late, you got stuck with the newest season of your favorite show and actually fell asleep at around 1:30.
A loud noise woke you from your sleep and you sat up right, looking around all confused.
Your room was completely dark besides the streetlights from outside your window.
You heard the knock again and a shockwave went right through your body. Where did it come from? The house was all silent since your parents' bedroom was downstairs and your sister was sleeping at her boyfriends' almost every night.
Slowly you made your way threw the hallway checking where the noise came from. Your first thought was that it was probably the neighbors cat in the backyard or something but then you realized the bangs came from the bathroom.
You grabbed the first thing near you which was a vase that had been standing on a little table in the hallway.
Eventually you walked to the bathroom and turned on the light.
You got scared immediately as you saw a face in front of the window.
After looking at the person you realized it was the guy from the police station. You closed the bathroom door and unlocked the window.
„What the fuck are you doing here?" you whisper yelled.
The guy climbed into the room. He was wearing a black hoodie with some dark grey sweatpants and a black beanie. „You said i could sleep here if I found you. And i did."
You were actually creeped out. So you just stared at him until your confidence came back. „How did you fucking find my house?" you asked and pushed him back a little bit. He grinned and leaned against the sink. „I stole the paper with your information."
Your eyes widened. „You what??" you asked him in disbelief. „You're welcome. Now they got nothing against you. For the police you dont exist."
You didnt know if you should thank him for it or hit him in the face for doing such a stupid thing. What if the police thought you stole it? „So where can i sleep then?" he asked you and took a look around. His bruises were still visible but now looked a lot more clean and healed.
„Uh." you stuttered and thought about his question.
„My parents are right downstairs. You cant just sneak in here and expect me to offer you my bed. I dont know you, you could be a psycho!" He laughed at you and stepped closer to you. You were intimidated because you couldnt step back any farther. Your back was already touching the wall next to the bathtub.
„I wont hurt you, I just need a place to sleep." You looked right into his eyes that were only inches away from yours.
He was so close he could probably hear your heart pound. It was about to jump out of your chest. You then offered him to sleep on the small couch in your room, if he promised to disappear before your parents found out.
So you passed him a blanket and two pillows and finally turned off the light the second time this night.
„Goodnight." you automatically whispered. You heard a little chuckle from the other side of the room before he whispered back a quiet:"Gracias."
•
When you woke up a couple of hours later your room was lightened by the sun. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You almost had a little heart attack when you saw someone laying on your couch. But then you remember what happened only 4 hours before. The guy who's name you werent sure about -was it Arón?- was sleeping peacefully, his closed eyes facing you. You noticed he had taken off his shirt. You didnt see his stomach but you could see his naked, muscular arms over the blanket. And you saw some tattoos on them. And a small tattoo on his chest.
He looked quite cute when he was sleeping.
You then checked your phone and thought about what you'd do today until you heard footsteps coming upstairs.
Your mom! She always says goodbye before work. Its like a mother-daughter tradition because once when you were a kid and she didnt say bye you had a panic attack because you thought something happened to her. You jumped up from the bed towards the couch.
„Wake up! Wake up! You gotta hide, my mom's coming!" you shook him to wake him up. He replied with a raspy groan and eventually opened his eyes.
„Huh?" he asked confused looking at you. -„Hide! My mom!" You whispered and waited for him to get in the closet.
But since he took so long realizing what was going on, it happened what had to happen.
Your mom was standing in your room, staring at both of you. You in your oversized shirt and no pants and this strange boy shirtless. You were fucked.
„Uhh y/n?" she asked and looked at you in confusion.
You were all staring each other down until Arón spoke up:"Mrs. Y/l/n, im so sorry. My name is Arón, I'm your daughters boyfriend." He shook her hand smiling. Your mother on the other hand looked confused as hell. Just as you. Did he just call himself your boyfriend?
„Oh. I didnt know she had a boyfriend." Your mom replied and then actually chuckled. She laughed! She wasnt mad?
„I have to go to work now but nice to meet you Arón. See you later honey, i think we have to talk."
She said after none of you said anything.
„Likewise" Arón spoke before your mom left your room and closed the door.
„What the hell?" you yelled at him and lightly punched him in the chest.
„I had no choice. What do you want me to do? Say that I broke in here because we met at the police station?"
You ran your hand through your hair and then said:"Please go. I'm in enough trouble already. Please leave."
He nodded, then grabbed his sweater and put it back on.
„Can i sleep here tonight too? I dont really know where to go." he asked while picking up his things.
You rolled your eyes but nodded softly.
„Thank you!" He smiled and came up to you.
„Sure." you replied and crossed your arms.
He opened the door to your room and whispered a „see you tonight" before finally leaving your house.
You didnt really trust this guy. Something about him was off but you didnt know quite yet what it was.
•
•
Arón's been crashing at your place for a week now and a lot of weird things happened inbetween. You only saw him at night when he climbed through your bedroom or the bathroom window. Then you usually went to bed and in the morning he left. You never knew where he went and you also didnt know why he couldnt sleep at his parents'.
Your mom and dad had both talked to him before and actually believed he was your boyfriend. Around them he acted like an angel but you knew he wasnt. I mean, he's never insulted you or been rude but he certainly wasnt an example of a good guy.
One night as you were sleeping, him laying on your couch, you were woken by someones voice talking in your room.
Arón was walking around your carpet, speaking into his phone loudly.
„Whats up?" you whispered and looked at him all sleepy.
He showed you he needed a second and kept discussion in spanish.
He was pretty loud and you were worried your parents might wake up from his voice. And he seemed mad, almost aggressive.
He then hung up and before you knew, he slammed his phone on the wall. It broke immediately, shocking you intensely.
„Jeez what the fuck!" you spoke and got up from the bed.
Arón in the meantime put on his jacked and wanted to walk out of the room but you chased him, trying not to make too much noise walking downstairs.
„Where are you going?" you asked.
„I need to see someone before this certain person wakes your parents." he boldly spoke and opened the front door.
You were only wearing shorts and a top and it was chilly outside. But you were far too concerned to grab a jacket.
You closed the door behind you and ran after him.
„Y/n go to bed." he then ordered as he kept walking.
„No i need to know whats happening."
He scoffed at you and finally stopped as you both reached a person standing around the corner.
Aron was just standing there staring at the dark dressed man.
You were right behind him, carefully taking a look.
„Arón." the guy finally spoke and came up to you both, grabbing aron by the jacket.
„What do you want?" arón asked the man, sounding as if he was about to rip his head off.
„Needed to see you little brother." the guy replied and then noticed you hiding behind Aróns back.
„Oh got yourself a girlfriend huh?" he grinned and walked around him to get closer to you.
„Hey you." he smiled and reached out to touch you but you backed off and mustered him.
„She's hot." the guy then said and turned around to arón again.
„What the fuck are you doing here Juan?" Arón finally spoke up. „Taking you home. Mom is worried about you."
Aron laughed fake before claiming:"Oh really?"
Juan stepped right in front of Aron and looked at him.
„I like your new haircut brother. You look like a prisoner."
Arón didnt reply, he clenched his fist as if he was about to hit.
„If you keep going like that, you will be soon." Juan added and smiled at him.
„Fuck off im not coming home." arón mumbled and wanted to step back but Juan grabbed his arm and answered:"You. Are coming with me. Because I say so."
Aron freed his arm and yelled:"Get out of my life."
You just watched as they were yelling at each other. The reason for Aróns stubbornness wasnt quite clear for you until he said one specific thing:"Mom and Dad dont want me back! All they want was you. You're the only son they ever wanted."
He was jealous of his big brother.
What you figured out from their conversation, Juan was a troublemaker himself but then started studying and was now about to be a lawyer. Apparently their parents had always supported him, even though he used to be in deep shit often times. Arón kept claiming that he was „nothing to their parents".
At some point the situation escalated and Juan grabbed Aron rather harshly and Aron pushed him back. Which made Juan fall to the ground, hitting his head on the concrete.
Juan looked even more furious than Aron then.
He got up again and basically jumped arón.
You felt useless, watching those brothers fight in the middle of the streets.
But suddenly you decided to do something.
You went up to them and jumped on Arons back to make him stop.
„Stop this shit before someone calls the cops!" you tried to calm them down.
But Aron was so furious he threw you right off.
You landed on your back rather harshly, moaning out in pain. It had been really fucking painful.
He didnt even notice that he had hurt you, they kept yelling at each other until you heard police sirens getting closer.
Juan seemed to notice as well and let go of Aron.
„You know what, fuck you! You're useless to this family. Come back after achieving something!" Juan yelled and just disappeared between the streetlights and the bushes.
„Fuck." Aron cursed and finally turned around to you.
„Run!" he then said as the police car turned around the corner.
You got up in pain and grabbed his reached out hand.
„Faster!" he told you and pulled you with him as he was running super fast. You almost stumbled over your own feet.
„Where?" you just asked and concentrated on running as fast as you could.
Usually you hated running but right now it felt good. Free kind of. You had never run from the cops, especially not with a known criminal who wasnt as bad as you thought.
„Fuck, run faster." he yelled but you couldnt go any faster.
Eventually he let go of you to make you jump into a bush.
The cops were right behind you but didnt seem to notice you hiding, they ran past you after Aron.
And aron on the other hand did something you hasnt expected. He stopped running.
He turned around and put his hands up in the air.
What the fuck was he doing?
The police reached him and put him in a secure grip in a fast motion. He couldve gotten away easily if he hadnt stopped!
They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the alley of trees towards the police car.
You looked him straight in the eyes as they walked past you. He inconspicuously smiled at you.
What was he doing?
As they sat him in the police car you slowly got out of the bush.
So you just stood there. They couldve seen you but you didnt care, you just wanted to see what was happening.
Some of your neighbors were outside looking as well.
Before the car took off you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket.
Who would text you at 3am?
You took it and opened the message.
You started to smile and looked up to see him smiling at you from the police car.
Arón:"Can I crash again when I get out?"
⭐️
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I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.
A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours
my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)
I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.
My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.
They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.
I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.
I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.
My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.
Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.
I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.
It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.
I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.
Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.
I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.
I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)
Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??
Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos
My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)
I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how
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Who Am I?
The marauders put two and two together.
They knew that Remus was alone, and just needed to feel loved.
So that's what they did.
When they got back to where they were camping, they started up the fire again and got the story of what happened from Remus.
If it wasn't for Sirius holding his hand Remus would have run away again“i came out and- and my dad was angry. He threw pictures of our family across the room, broke vases, chairs, and the coffee table. He burned all photos that had me in them.....” Remus paused. It still hurt to tell the story. But now, he was safe. He was with his friends. “he- get threatened me. Called me a disgrace, disappoint, fag, so on....... My mom wasn't happy about this. She agreed with what he said but didnt like the way he was reacting by breaking things.... She cared more about a vase than her child..... ” Remus trailed off, leaving it at that.
He wasn't going to say what happened next.
“he hurt you didn't he” Peter said, putting a hand over his mouth.
Remus nodded
•
•
•
The 4 marauders fell alseep about 5am. They were up all night talking, and ended up all in a bundle, hugging.People say that love has to be shown in words.
But Remus Lupin knows this isnt true.
When Remus Lupin is around bia friends, he feels loved. Even if thy are just sitting there.
He feels loved.
He feels wanted.
He feels cared for.Remus grew up where love was a sore topic. Love was girl and boy. Not girl and girl or boy and boy.
Remus thought gays were brave. He thought they're cool.
He looked up to them.
He knew he was onw of them when he met Sirius Black
He knew he was in love.
But he didnt tell anyone.
He kept it a secret.
He put on a mask.
He hid who he was.
And he hated itRemus Lupin is the friend that waits for you when you tie youe shoe.
Remus Lupin is rhe friend that listens when you need to talk.
Remus Lupin is the one that's scared to be him.
Remus lupin is the one that loves everyoneRemus Lupin is who we need more of in this world."THIS IS RUBISH!" Sirius yelled, running a hand through his hair. "how does this stuff even work!??"
It was summer, and the sun was setting. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were camping in the woods, something they did every summer. Dora Potter gave James some little challenge things for them to do, and some were harder than others.
The first one was to do something no one has done before. This one was easy, mainly because of Sirius' wild imagination. He came up with the idea to turn into his dog form (also known as snuffles) when on a broom with James, whilst Remus and Peter set off fireworks. It was somwthing else, and if you didn't know the marauders, it'd seem really weird.
"were lucky this stuff won't be on O.W.L.s " Peter said as he syarywd handing out some snacks he bought.
"bloody hell, theres O.W.L.s next year!" James said, looking up from the paper he had been staring at. "im not ready for those-" they were all sitting around the fire, which was the only source of light other than the moon and stars in the sky (and their wands, but the only one that remembered that was Remus)
Remus hasn't looked up from the paper, yet was listening to everything in the conversation. He was thinking about the question on the paper that Sirius was yelling about. He didnt know what to put for it.
Who are you?
At first, the boys thought the answer was there name. But then, they realized the question had much more to it.
Who are you? What parts are you made of? What Makes you different?
James and Peter had found a few things to write down, but Remus, nor Sirius, couldn't think of anything.
'what am I?' he had said when they got to this challenge. 'a werewolf?' he finished, rubbing the back of his neck. He had almost said 'monster' but stopped himself. He knew that wouldnt go over too well.....
He truly had no idea what to write.
Peter had written how he wad a good listener, how he was caring and kind, and how he knew small things about his friends that not many people knew.
James had written about how he was a believer. He believed in himself and his friends, and someimes even his peers. (If they weren't a Slytherin that was. He really didnt like Slytherins.) He wrote that he would never give up on his friends and trusts them with his life.
Sirius was also having trouble thinking about things, because of where he came from. He wasn't loved or cared for by anyone other than the Potters or his friends.
James and Peter went to get some more snacks from the tent when Remus and Sirius stayed at the fire, Remus never looking up from the paper. "I DONT KNOW WHO I AM!" Sirius yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "I DONT KNOW!"
Even though Remus wasn't showing it, he was just as frustrated as Sirius was. He was starting to get mad at James' mom for giving them these challenges.
After 5 minutes James and Peter came back to the fire, holding bunches of foods and snacks. Remus didn't eat anything though, He said he wasnt hungry.
After about half an hour, Sirius came up with some things, saying that he was different and indepenident. It made sense, he was the first non-Slytherin in his family. "your brave " Remus said, looking up from the paper for the first time. "your brave for going back to that place every summer" Sirius looked into Remus' eyes for a second before nodding and writing that down. A little flutter of hope had gone through him when remus had said that he was brave.
Remus wished he could say that HE was brave. Yeah, he had moments when he was brave, but most of the time he was a loser. His mind flashed to a month ago, when summer had just stared. The month he wished never happened.
That's when evwrything went down hill. He hadnt told anyone about what happened thought. Just kept it to himself.
His friends didn't need to know he was homeless.
That's when Remus wrote something on the paper for the first time.
He curled the y at the end of the word aroundd the bottom of it, making the word be underlined with the y's tail. He stared down at the word and sighed. It was who he was and he couldn't change that.
The word was gay.
.
.
.
After the word gay, remus wrote a few things the other said. Brave. Smart. Kind
In small print off to the side though, Remus had a wrote things he didn't want anyone to see.
alone, monster, disappointment, failure, ugly....
Most of the list is what he got told when he came out. None of it was from his friends, but more of less his parents.
Remus kept adding to the list, adding homophobic slurs he got called by others, and other hurtful things that he knew he was, no matter what people told him.
Its was about 2 in the morning when Sirius feel asleep, then about 2:30 when peter and Remus fell asleep. James, who was still wide awake, notices the small handwriting in the corner of Remus' parchment. He read the words.
Alone.
Monster.
Disappointment
Failure.
Ugly.
Faggot.
Mistake.
Accident.
Unlovable.
Unnoticed.
Homeless
James bit his lip and looked over at Remus. He was hugging himself in his sleep.
'hes homeless?' james thought to himself, setting the parchment back where Remus had set it.
James didn't know what to do, or what to think. So he woke Sirius up.
"whadyawantProngs" Sirius muttered. He and james were farther away from the team and fire, james didn't want anyone to heae them. (He mainly didnt want Remus to know he read the paper).
"its about Remus " james said. "i didnt know who else to tell, but he wrote really bad things about himself Sirius. He isn't ok." James paused and looked at Sirius, who now looked worried. "he wrote a monster, and that he's ugly and a disappointment and an accident and a f-" James couldnt being himself tk say the word. "he said he was homeless, Sirius. Something happened. He needs help
Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes. "lets talk about this tomorrow. Right now Rey is with us, and he's safe. Well ask him a out it tomorrow. Er- later today I guess
James nodded and started walking back to the tent.
But when they got there, the fire was out, and Remus was gone.
All they found was a sobbing Peter.
---
"h-he r-ra-ran" Peter stumbled around the words, trying to stop sobbing. He couldnt believe what had happened. He could barely remember it. He had told the story to the best of his ability. At this point he was just repeating things.
Not long after James and Sirius left, Remus had woken up. He saw the paper had gotten moved and started freaking out mentally.
Thats when it happened
Thats when Lyall(a/n: sorry if its spelt wrong) Lupin apreared.
Thats when Remus screamed, but it was muffled but his father putting his hand over his sons mouth. Peter woke at Remus' scream, and watched everything that happened under his eyelashes, not daring to open his eyes anymore.
Peter heard the words Remus' dad spoke.
Peter heard the quiet sobs Remus let out.
Peter heard Remus call his name.
Peter heard the calls for help.
"Remus?" he muttered, acting like he had just woken up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, then acted like he was just seeing the sence before him for the first time.
Before Peter could say anything else, Remus' father dropped Remus and disappeared again.
Peter went over to Remus. "are you ok? Should I get the oth-"
Remus had fun before Peter could finish the sentence.
"shhhh Pete it wasnt your fault, calm down " James said, slightly hugging his friend.
Peter nodded. It took a a few minutes, but soon he had calmed down.
"we need to find him " Sirius said. He had beem staring at the paper remus had wrote on, re-reading everything on it. He was almost in tears. He couldnt believe anything that Remus had written.
It hurt his heart.
"i agree. Peter, did you see what direction he went in?"
Peter nodded and started walking in the direction Remus went in.
Sirius' hands were shaking. He had tears in his eyes that broke free when they couldnt find Remus. "we'll never find him..." he said, sitting on a rock.
Thats when he heard it.
Crying.
"Rey?" Sirius looked around. There was no one there. "hey James? Did you bring the cloak?"
James looked at Sirius. "yeah. Why do you ask?"
Sirius bit his lip slightly. He knew where Remus was. "no reason " he lied, getting up. He walked between some trees that were behind the rock he had been sitting on and saw the log.
"rey?" the cries stopped.
Sirius sighed and sat on the log, right next to where Remus would be if he could be seen. That's when he felt him.
Remus had put his head on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius could hear the cries, he could feel Remus trying to catch his breath.
Thats when James came back to where Sirius and Remus were. He sat on the other side of Remus and reached out to pull the cloak off Remus.
Sirius hugged Remus, the james hugged him too, waving Peter over.
If there was anything Remus needed right now, it was love.
And that's what the other marauders would give.
.
.
.
The marauders put two and two together.
They knew that Remus was alone, and just needed to feel loved.
So that's what they did.
When they got back to where they were camping, they started up the fire again and got the story of what happened from Remus.
If it wasn't for Sirius holding his hand Remus would have run away again
“i came out and- and my dad was angry. He threw pictures of our family across the room, broke vases, chairs, and the coffee table. He burned all photos that had me in them.....” Remus paused. It still hurt to tell the story. But now, he was safe. He was with his friends. “he- get threatened me. Called me a disgrace, disappoint, fag, so on....... My mom wasn't happy about this. She agreed with what he said but didnt like the way he was reacting by breaking things.... She cared more about a vase than her child..... ” Remus trailed off, leaving it at that.
He wasn't going to say what happened next.
“he hurt you didn't he” Peter said, putting a hand over his mouth.
Remus nodded
•
•
•
The 4 marauders fell alseep about 5am. They were up all night talking, and ended up all in a bundle, hugging.
People say that love has to be shown in words.
But Remus Lupin knows this isnt true.
When Remus Lupin is around bia friends, he feels loved. Even if thy are just sitting there.
He feels loved.
He feels wanted.
He feels cared for.
Remus grew up where love was a sore topic. Love was girl and boy. Not girl and girl or boy and boy.
Remus thought gays were brave. He thought they're cool.
He looked up to them.
He knew he was onw of them when he met Sirius Black
He knew he was in love.
But he didnt tell anyone.
He kept it a secret.
He put on a mask.
He hid who he was.
And he hated it
Remus Lupin is the friend that waits for you when you tie youe shoe.
Remus Lupin is rhe friend that listens when you need to talk.
Remus Lupin is the one that's scared to be him.
Remus lupin is the one that loves everyone
Remus Lupin is who we need more of in this world.
#Remus Lupin#Sirius Black#James Potter#peter pettigrew#Marauders#angst#lgbtq#wolfstar#self hate#love#Harry Potter
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Pre Naruto — Naruto Headcanons. Ages 9-15.
I have nothing better to do while my phone is dying.
Age 9
We're starting here since I'm working on something already. Okay so the day her whole clan was obliborated and sent straight to Jesus, Hokkaido was taken from Konoha under the Third's order. From there, she went to an orphanage in Amegakure.
The orphanage wasn't too bad, but Hokkaido couldn't help missing Konohagakure. She wanted to leave the orphange and debated running away.
However, she didn't get to run away as a couple who never had children together spotted this lonely dark haired girl and wanted to adopt her. This led to confusion. Someone genuinely wanted to adopt her, a broken child?
They did adopt her. But she was quiet, confused even.
The lady was one of the most beautiful ladies she had ever seen, complete with Auburn hair and deep green eyes and a pallor complexion. Her new mother's name was Emi Suzuki of the Hidden Rain.
The man was strong, and he looked very mean, but he wasn't. Hokkaido just didn't know that yet. He had short, messy Sandy blonde hair and cocoa colored eyes. This was Shindou Suzuki, a very strong Shinobi of the Hidden Rain.
Upon going to her new home, things were very different. This family was patient with her learning and never pushed her too much, they had accepted her as if she really were their own child. But she didn't want to call them mom or dad because she only ever had one mom and one dad.
Hokkaido was given a nice room with a twin sized bed and a desk for schoolwork, Emi enjoyed buying her stuffed animals, her favorite was her stuffed panda that somehow made her think of Shisui. She slept with it every single night.
Entering the academy, she made two friends that she held close to her heart.
Aito Fugikame, a small and dark haired girl with violet eyes who reminded her of Hinata Hyūga from Konoha, maybe that's why she enjoyed her company so much.
Eiji Yamada, a brunette make who seemed a little idiotic but super friendly and was outcasted for being such a loveable idiot. This was in ways, her Naruto of Amegakure.
She began to adjust to her new life, the pain seemingly subsiding as she always came home to a hot meal and was called Yua, (and it literally means binding love and affection) by Emi.
Things were starting to go great, and for once after the massacre, Hokkaido Uchiha was smiling as she came home. But she missed her brother, Sasuke. She wondered how he was doing in Konoha.
Age 10
Having a good birthday, she blew the candles out on her cake before hiding her face in her hands. She was crying but didn't know why. Sure, she was happy, but how long would it last without her only other blood relative?
The trio [Hokkaido, Aito and Eiji] often roamed the village together and practiced their skills together, she finally perfected her Fireball Jutsu.
That's when people began looking at her all weird, she was an outsider, and they knew just how strong the Uchiha clan was.
Aito's mother wouldn't let her visit nor talk to Hokkaido anymore. This was the downfall.
Hokkaido shut herself off, she barely exited her room unless it was to eat or go to school.
Age 11
Emi had conceived her first daughter this year and she seemed rather focused upon the new baby that was due to arrive in July. Hokkaido was conflicted on how to feel, she was once her foster parents primary focus, and it seemed they had less and less time for her now. She never brought it up. She was still grateful she was given a family.
In July, Emi gave birth to a healthy little girl named Ichika. Hokkaido wanted eagerly on the front steps of their house, but was only met with a sullen faced Shindou and a baby in his arms. Emi was no where around.
Later that evening, Shindou had explained that Emi had passed on, and that Hokkaido was now rightfully the woman of the house.
Even though Emi wasn't her biological mother, Hokkaido was broken again. She had lost two mother's in her life. This was the very first time she cried over someone who wasn't related to her in any way.
But Ichika reminded her so much of Emi. She had beautiful Auburn hair and a buttoned nose, just like Emi. And Hokkaido would constantly talk to the growing child about how amazing their mother was.
At the time, she hadn't even realized she reffered to Emi as her own mother. She just knew she missed her more than anything.
Age 12
Celebrating Ichika's first birthday wasn't how she ever imagined it to be. Emi wasn't there to see her daughter grow up, she hadn't even gotten to see Hokkaido graduate from the Academy and become a genin.
Hokkaido was put in a squad with Aito and Eiji, but things were still tense with herself and Aito. Hokkaido never knew how to process her emotions. She used to go to Itachi or Shisui for things like that. But Shisui had died a year before the massacre.
This year also happens to be the year Hokkaido got her menstrual cycle. She went into a panic, thinking she was dying and bleeding out. After all, she really didn't have a grown female figure to turn to about this.
She was embarassed to even tell Shindou, but he was very calming and understanding. He explained she was becoming a woman and even gave her the birds and bees talk. She was disgusted.
Sasuke is now ten, and she wonders how he's doing. She debated on writing him a letter, but out of nervousness, she doesn't.
Age 13
Hokkaido spent a lot of her time doing activities as she was now co sidered am elder sibling by Ichika. Ichika was walking and talking and every day passing, looked more like Emi.
Hokkaido began training for her chunin exams, which, were coming up very shortly. She spent many hours training with her squad a day and had often had to be retrieved by Shindou.
Shindou often scolded her for overworking herself as he forced her to drink plenty of water and eat her greens. He was only looking out for his eldest after all.
Upon the day of the exams, Hokkaido finds out all three of her squad had to sign up. And they had. They are now officially beginning their journey as chunin.
The first exam, she nearly crapped a brick. The written test was hard and she knew nothing. But she still tried her hardest, hearing and seeing others being disqualified for cheating. Her heart was hammering in her chest.
Afterwards, when she found out the objective was to cheat without being caught, she literally facepalms herself because she hadn't even thought of cheating. And then that damned question was asked.
Back at the exam, the proctor states that the candidates are free to choose whether or not they want to try and solve the tenth question. If they opt out, the entire team will fail. If they choose to answer the question but get it wrong, they will be barred from taking the Chūnin Exams forever.
Hokkaido's heart hit her guts. She was afraid of never becoming a chunin. But she pressed forward, only to find out the tenth question was already asked. The question was to test their determination and bravery.
Since I'm a lazy bastard and ive worked on this almost all damn day, I'm moving forward.
During the one on one fights, Hokkaido was matched against Kabuto Yakushi. [you know. Cuz this mf kept taking the exams cuz he a spying little-]
She lost.
She lost.
She didn't become a chunin on her first try, but congratulated Aito and Eiji upon becoming Chunin.
Age 14
Sasuke was finally old enough to take his own chunin exams and they were being hosted in Konohagakure! Hokkaido was estatic, she was finally going home to Konohagakure, even if it was just for the exams.
The exams started the same, and she passes. She couldn't help but keep glancing toward her brother however, a tugging on her heart. He hadn't even looked her way.
She wondered if he forgot her. He hadnt.
After the written exams, they prepared for the second part. Hokkaido was paired with two Amegakure genin.
However, a red haired sand ninja with a foul attitude caught her eye. Gaara.
Another skip, I'm half dead.
Anyway,, she became a chunin because of the circumstances and after the fight with Gaara and Naruto, Hokkaido goes home back to Amegakure.
Sasuke had changed so much, her little brother was growing up.
Age 15
Hokkaido had been caring for Ichika and tried being a great big sister to the four year old who somehow ended up looking up to her like she had to Itachi. It left her heart hurting a little.
Still, she would sometimes think back to that red haired boy.
She often ignored it because she didn't want to even tell Shindou about a possible boy she liked, let alone one that was so damn destructive.
Things were going well, and she was being sent on a mission to Konohagakure soon. This mission, however, required her to move away for six months. She would be aiding the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade.
She wondered why she was chosen for such a thing...
Okay. That's rushed but there. Heres her OG Naruto Headcanons. Shippuden comes next. Feedback is much appreciated. Nah this isn't proofread either.
#naruto rp#closed rp#copyeyes#apollo talks#apollo writes#naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto uzumaki#sabaku no gaara#akatsuki#original content#original story#original character#original work#original rp#shinobu kochou#shippuden rp#shisui uchiha#shino aburame#shikadai#shounen#Headcanons
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Hello Depression (Travis x Larry (?))
Warnings! Suicide.
Imagine if someone’s illness was a living, breathing creature? Some would say it would make life easier, no one could hide that they were depressed or schizophrenic or whatever else. But no, it made things harder, especially to those that had the things following them around.
That was the reason Sal never fought back against Travis, never put the guy in his place. Because like a few others at the school, Travis Phelps had a ‘demon’ attached to him. The nightmareish creature sticking close to the guy, even when the blonde looked confident in his bullying.
Larry on the other hand, could care less about the thing following Travis. Before Sal had come to nockfell, he even thought the bully deserved it. Still thought that at times but he did show more sympathy than he used to, except when Travis starts fights.
But today was different.
When no one sat with Travis at lunch, everyone just ignoring the guy because of the depression demon following him. It was to the point where it was affecting others, something that doesn’t normally happen. “Maybe we should sit with him.” Sal suggested, pity laced in his tone as he watched the blonde. Larry shook his head, internally fighting with himself on whether to agree or not. “Maybe you should sit with him.” Larry tensed when cold blue eyes trained on him, this sense of dead falling over him. Most people blame all the weed Larry smoked on why he didn’t have a demon, but Larry would argue a brick wall that Sal was his little demon with how mean he could get.
A blank stare was returned to the cold eyes, a light tap on the fake wood table. “You are a very scary 5’ man.” Larry calmly stated, but stood from the bench and stretched. Sure he didn’t like the idea of sitting so close to a depression demon, and Travis, but he’d rather take his chances than piss Sally off. “You owe me a pizza.” With that, Larry slung his backpack over his shoulder and sauntered his way to Travis’ empty table.
“Blue demands I sit with you,” Larry paused to eye the depression, plopping down across from Travis. “So let’s hea-“
“Go away pot head.” The normal harshness was completely gone from Travis’s voice, left just a defeated tone. Larry hadnt really realized just how bad it was, he kind of felt bad now.
[I] “Yhuoe suhoed dhiiii.”
Larry tensed hearing the jumbled mess coming from the depression, the sound something from a horror movie. It wasn’t really normal for others to be able to hear the ‘demons’ speak, and Larry wish he never had. “What the hell did it just say?” The stoner questioned, nervous about the answer.
With a defeated but almost peaceful look, Travis sighed and rested his head in his hands. “What it’s been repeating all day.” He shrugged, flinching when the thing spoke yet again. Just more harsh words, truthful words he wish weren’t. “Fuck you.” That was directed to the depression, but it was hard to tell that since he was looking at Larry. And before the taller male could react, Travis got up deciding it was time to just give in to what the thing wanted.
Larry just sat there as Travis left with his demon, a whirlwind of emotions and red flags filling him. A gut feeling told him to follow, but he didn’t, just pushed the feeling away and went back to his group. Things settled and the rest of the day was pretty normal, boring lectures and notes being passed in class.
He felt on edge though, found himself tapping his pencil and watching the clock. The only times he’s ever done this was when he was getting more weed after school, but at least those times the feeling was accompanied by excitement. This. This feeling was accompanied by a tightened chest and a churning gut. There was nothing exciting about this feeling, or the thoughts that plagued his mind during 6th period lecture.
“Can I go to the bathroom?!” The loudness behind his voice had startled everyone in the class, but he didn’t acknowledge their surprised looks.
“I don’t know, can you?” That ticked him off, he hated when teachers did that. So, instead of correcting himself, he stood up.
“Yes I can.” And he ignored the yelling of the teacher, heading straight for the boys bathroom. With it being on the other side of the school, Larry found himself running halfway there. If he didn’t know any better, Larry would say he’s was having a panic attack.
Getting to the bathroom calmed him a bit, his heavy breathing loud in his own ears.
The bathroom was quiet, calm and unsettling. The stall doors open, all but one. That’s where his feet took him, hand raising to bang on the stall door. When the door stopped rattling on its hinges, a faint clinking sound filled the room. Without thought of how disgusting the boys bathroom floor was, Larry dropped to his knees and looked under the door.
It was something he had known he would see.
“Travis!” The glazed look of the other let him know then he’d be crawling under the door. And as over the top that seemed, Larry felt this desperation tugging him under against his will. “Under other circumstances I would slap you.” He grumbled after struggling his way into the stall.
Settling on the floor in front of the blonde, Larry could practically smell the blood. Of course he couldn’t but just looking at the amount made him feel like he could. “It was that bad huh?” He felt so bad and he hated that.
“What do you expect.” There was the harsh tone he’d been missing, but the look betrayed his words. Larry scooted closer, Travis huffing in attempt to keep the tough guy act up. But who was he kidding? No one could be a tough guy with bleeding wrists and a demon snickering in the corner. Even though the place wasn’t where he wanted to go, he was finding peace for once. “Abusive dad to a gay son. He’ll be happy I’m gone.” His voice trailed off. The room was beginning to spin and it was slightly sickening.
“I’m.. I’m really sorry.” Travis gave a weak laugh to that, head tilting back from how heavy he was feeling. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was almost thankful Larry was here with him. The stoner had kind of been his first guy crush, of course he hadn’t been a bully about it until things got worse at home and the Sal came around.
“You really wanna watch me die?” Larry tensed at that. Because no, no he didn’t. Watching someone’s life fade from their body was such a horrible thing, but he couldn’t find it in him to leave. Or call for help, he wanted to but it would be to late anyway.
“No, but who wants to die alone?” Travis pushed away from the toilet to sit up on his own, that only ended with him against the wall. Larry flinched at the movement, that tight feeling in his chest growing. It was a feeling he knew came before crying, or at least it did for him. And it would only hurt worse if he didn’t cry. “Do you.. want me to leave?”
“No.” Travis shook his head slowly, still a mistake when it caused more spinning. Hell, he wanted to be held now that Larry was here. This cold feeling wasn’t pleasant. But how could he ask something like that? It was against everything beat into his head, he would die cold before he asked.
He didn’t have to ask.
Larry took it upon himself to pull Travis to him, holding the blonde tight against his chest. He was trying not to cry, but that obviously wasn’t working to well. “You’re an asshole, but,” Larry paused, trying to clear the shake from his voice. “You’re a good guy at heart, you’ll be fine.” Travis couldn’t laugh at the stupid line, but he could smile.
He would be fine.
He’d be away from the pain of life forever.
He allowed himself to slip, feeling at peace for once.
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Wish I was Sarah PT 2 (Sarah X Reader X Kiara)
Part One
Kiara woke up to her phone buzzing,you asleep next to her with your phone still in hand.She groaned,checking her phone and squinting at the bright light.It was one in the morning and her parents were trying to find out where she was. “(Y/N),hey.Wake up,we gotta get home.”She whispered,shaking you slightly.You grumbled,smacking her hand away. “Nooooo.”You protested,trying to curl back into your ball of warmth.
“Yessss.Come on,your parents are gonna be looking for you.”She pulled you up,shivering slightly at the lack of blankets.You two didnt even bother to bring the plates back,slipping through the cracked rock and onto the soft sand,the cool air hitting you skin. “I’d really prefer not to be awake right now.”You laughed,guiding her back to the large house.People were still in the yard,older folks still talking and cleaning up all of the dishes.You felt heat rush to your face as you noticed Sarah Cameron,head in her hands as she stared down at her phone at the table,half asleep.
You and Kiara went inside,greeted by her mother. “Where’d you run off to?”She asked.Kiara gestured towards you,wanting you to explain. “Sorry,its loud and we wanted to watch a movie so we went down the beach.Sorry.”You answered softly,seeing your aunt on the couch.Mrs.Carrera wasnt mad though,in fact,she was ecstatic.Kiara hadnt made any girl friends since Sarah Cameron or even kook friends for that matter. “Dont worry about it,just tell us next time.”She smiled down at you.You played with your fingers,nodding before going over to speak to your aunt.Sarah turned to watch you,biting her bottom lip as she watched you leave.That was three months ago.
Kiara grinned as you showed her an oddly shaped rock that you found by the beach,asking her what it looked like to her. “It looks kind of like a bat but it could also be a cat if you look at it when its flipped over.”You flipped the rock,running your fingers along the rough bumpy surface.She nodded,looking through the sand for shells. “Hey,Kie?”You asked,putting the rock in your pocket.She hummed,still looking through the sand.
“What’s going on with Sarah Cameron?”You asked.Her breath hitched,frowning as she looked at you. “You dont want to be involved with her.She’s evil.Shes like a snake that lures you in and then suffocates you!She’s the worst person ive ever met and her brother is a crack head that beats the shit out of people for no reason.Trust me,you dont want anything to do with her.”Kiara huffed,looking you in the eyes.
You pouted slightly,becoming uneasy. “She seems nice.”You mumbled,making her shake her head. “No,shes not.She acts nice and then she’ll betray you like she does to everyone.She betrayed me!”Kiara exclaimed.
You nodded,biting the inside of your cheek. “Okay.”You mumbled.The rest of the day was a bit awkward after that conversation,Kiara concerned that you were falling for Sarah.She was trying to think of something to tell you that would make you hate Sarah,anything to keep you from chasing after her.She couldnt though.There was nothing that could stop you from liking Sarah.She just needed to get you to like her more.She had asked you not to be around Sarah or talk to her.You had told her that you wouldnt and she was stupid enough to believe you.Two weeks after you made that promise the worst thing imaginable happened.
Kiara hadnt hung out with the boys in a while and they were getting sick of her ditching for you.That lead to her agreeing to go to the beach and surf with them early one morning.It was windy and cool but the waves were fantastic.She carried her surfboard under her arm,walking to the water with John.B as Pope and JJ tossed down towels and their cooler of off brand soda and tuna sandwiches.Her head turned when she heard squeals and giggling,two voices shouting to one another.
She squinted,making sure that she was seeing things right.Sarah Cameron was wearing a red sweater,one that had faded from being washed and worn so many times.She held a tennis racket,fighting off birds that were trying to get to the mice that stayed in the tall grass.She wasnt the only one though.You stood with a tennis racket as well,wearing a bikini top and shorts as you shouted at the birds,trying to get them to leave the mice alone.
Kiara felt her heart drop,realising what was happening.You had told her that you wouldnt talk to Sarah at all and here you were giggling with her.She couldnt even blame you.Your oblivious self had no idea just how much Kiara liked you and how desperately she wanted you to like her back.Sarah had to know what she was doing.The blonde glanced her way,a small smirk on her face to let Kiara know that she was defeated,that you liked Sarah and Sarah had won.
The way you looked at Sarah with so much love and longing made Kiara’s heart hurt.It was the same way that she looked at you.Kiara bit her tongue,looking back out at the waves. “What just happened?”John.B asked,looking down the beach to where Kiara had been staring previously.He thought he understood when he saw Sarah,thinking it was her alone that had ruined his friend’s mood.Kiara hadnt told the group about you yet.She knew that they would beg her to meet you.
SHe had convinced herself that she was worried that they’d like you more than her but she knew better.She was worried that you’d like them more than you liked her just like Sarah.She wasnt ready for those words to collide.Kiara couldnt be mad at you which just made everything hurt more.She had liked Sarah a long time ago so she could understand you.She could relate to how you stared at her with such admiration and how you were following Sarah like a lost puppy.Tears began to blur her vision as she realized that Sarah would hurt you and ruin you.
She hated Sarah so much but right here and right now she wanted nothing more than to be Sarah.You liked Sarah better.Everyone had always liked Sarah more.Kiara had cried into her pillow that night,wishing that you were different,wishing that you hated Sarah.She had sat at her window like a little kid,praying to the first star that she saw that she would wake up tomorrow and be Sarah.When she woke up her pillow was damp from tears and her head hurt,skin splotchy and eyes puffy.Her phone was ringing,causing her to groan and answer without checking who it was.
“Hello?”She asked,tired. “Hey,Kie.Did you just wake up?”You asked.She grumbled something which you took as a yes. “Its like almost noon.Are you feeling okay?”You asked.She blinked a couple of times,sitting up in her bed. “Yeah,I was just tired from surfing yesterday.Whats up?”She asked,rubbing her head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the cave and paint it with me.”You answered,waiting for her to reply. “Yeah,okay.Give me a little bit to get dressed.”She told you before hanging up.
She looked in the mirror,groaning at how sick she looked.She splashed some water on her face,putting on a baggy yellow t shirt and some white jeans.She tied her hair up in a bun,changing her jeans when she remembered she would be painting.
John.B had called her,requesting that she come to his house to watch Spongebob with him,Pope and JJ. “Cant,im busy.”She answered,trying to keep things vague.He huffed. “Busy with what?”He asked.She bit her lip,trying to think of an explanation. “Im hanging out with my friend.”She answered,hearing him let out a dramatic groan.
“You’re hanging out with that girl again?Cant she just come with you?”He asked.She smiled,sighing. “Nope.”She hung up.She couldnt introduce you tot he boys.When she had walked down the beach,a smile on her face,excited to see you she frowned,seeing you speaking to Sarah Cameron.
Sarah wore just a sports bra and sweatpants,her hair in a ponytail which let Kie know that she was out on a run.She noticed the way you were biting your lip,eyes not meeting Sarah’s.You were nervous,flustered.Sarah gave you a quick hug before jogging away,not seeing Kiara. “Hey,Kie!”You smiled,jogging up to meet her half way,pouting a bit when you saw how mad she looked. “What’s wrong?”You asked,not understanding.
She rolled her eyes,crossing her arms. “What’s going on with you and Sarah Cameron?”She asked,making your heart drop. “What?”You asked,smile gone.She sighed,looking down at the sand. “You like Sarah,I know that you do.But you cant trust her,okay?”She asked,trying not to cry or sniffle.You licked your lips,looking down the beach.
“I dont think I understand.”You pulled at the sleeves of your shirt,feeling vulnerable. “Sarah is a really bad person.She pretends to be all sweet and defending mice and turtles but she is disgusting and shes like a rock fish.She lures you in and doesnt look scary and seems all innocent and then you get close to her and she poisons you!She ruined my life and hurt me and she hurts everyone!She’ll hurt you too if you stick around,alright?”Kiara asked.
“You’ve said that before...but I just...I dont know.There’s something about her.”You mumbled.Kiara wanted to cry,to run,to drown herself in the ocean that was so close. “There’s other girls out there,(Y/N).Theres ones that wont betray you and act like you dont exist.I just dont want to see you get hurt in a toxic relationship,alright?”She asked,his heart thumping.You nodded,giving her a small smile. “Lets go paint then.”You smiled,grabbing her hand and running over to the crack in the rock wall,sliding through.
Kie slid through behind you,giggling as she looked for a place on the rocks to paint.You found a flat area,picking up a palette and squirting out little mountains of red,yellow,blue,balck and white along with a few brushes.Kiara went on the more abstract approach,pouring colors onto her hands,rubbing them together and pressing them against the rocks and smearing them,trying to make something like butterfly wings.
She felt your brush glide against her arm,making a wet streak.She looked over at you,a confused smile. “What are you doing?”She asked,looking down at her arm. “I need it to be the same color as your skin.”you answered simply,making a large circle with the toffee like color.She watched you,not really caring about what she was supposed to be painting,focused on the way your brush was moving as you made a darker little wave in the middle of the circle,watching as it formed into a nose.
Kiara tried not to stare for too long,making a rainbow flower from her handprints.You used a different brush to make dark chocolate waves of hair,trying to fix the hairline of the painting,getting the paint onto the sides of the circle to make it more like Kiara’s face. “You’re painting me?”She asked,knowing the answer was obvious.
You smiled,nodding and making two dark lines closer to the hairline,making them into little curves for eyebrows.It took a good two hours for you to finish the portrait,Kiara had put on her playlist for the two of you to listen to.Once you were satisfied with the portrait you stepped aside,letting the model see it. “Oh wow….that literally looks like a picture.”She smiled,taking a photo of the painting.You simply shrugged,a small grin on your face. “I kind of just memorised your face I guess.”You answered,feeling heat in your face and neck.
She was hesitant to kiss your cheek lightly,smiling as she looked away from you.Her phone dinged,ruining her good mood because she knew exactly what it meant. “Shit,I have to go home but i’ll see you tomorrow?”She asked,turning off the music and slipping her phone into her pocket. “I’ll walk you home.”You said quickly.She didnt argue,glad that you were willing to do that.
You held onto her hand as the two of you walked,getting some rainbow paint on your hand. “You have school tomorrow?”You asked sadly.She nodded,knowing that you didnt know much about that,being homeschooled and all. “You’ll come see me after school though?”You asked. “Of course.”She answered,coming up her driveway. “So...tomorrow?”She asked,your hand still holding hers.She wasnt prepared when you leaned forward quick,kissing her.
Her eyes went wide for a second before calming,her hand lifting to cup your chin,getting purple paint onto your skin.She smiled into the kiss,feeling so many things at once.It ws the feeling you get when you’re at the top of a rollercoaster,excited and nervous to go down,laughing as it all happened.It was the feeling you get when you hear your favorite song that you had listened too when you were young.
The stong that you used to scream the lyrics too on car rids and listen to it on repeat,the one that you could remember even years later and the excitement that would course through you when you heard it.It was the feeling you get when you get a huge thing of cotton candy at the fair,the sweetness of it melting in your mouth as the sun goes down,the heat on your skin.
You pulled away,your forehead still against hers. “Yeah,i’ll see you tomorrow.”You grinned,turning around and walking away,leaving her speechless.She let out a loud sigh,licking her lips and smiling so hard it hurt before she made her way up her driveway.When she walked into her house her mother was making dinner,her dad on the couch.She went right up the stairs and into her room,falling onto her bed with her face in her pillow as she squealed,staring up at her ceiling,blushing.
Her father came upstairs,asking her who she had hung out with that day. “(Y/N).”She answered,sitting up and trying not to smile again. “Is that the girl that we like?”he asked,referring to himself and Kiara’s mother.Kie nodded,sighing softly. “Okay,dinners ready.”He answered,going back downstairs.
@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @dannii-li @lovelyelinor @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off
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#kiara carrera#kiara x reader#obx kiara#kiara carrera x you#kiara carrera imagine#kiara carrera headcanon#kiara carrera gifs#sarah cameron x reader#sarah cameron imagine#sarah cameron x you#obx sarah#sarah cameron#outer banks#obx#outerbanks fanfic
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Write It Down
strawberryfields-forever said: Ok so I absolutely LOVE your writing!! I was wondering if you could another roger Taylor Imagine where the reader gets really drunk and ends up at Rogers Place and he takes care of them and then she ends up confessing her feelings and you can take it from there? Please and thank you! Xxx
(a/n: i’m SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I CAN NEVER HELP MYSELF FUCK also this layout might be fucked when i first post it but i’ll try to fix it ASAP)
“Roger, it’s barely midnight, you’ve got to be fucking with me!” you complained, nearly tripping over yourself as he pulled you out of the pub and away from the guy who you’d just been chatting with. “Just one more pint!”
Roger ignored your incessant complaining as he got out onto the sidewalk, the pub door swinging shut behind you, and he began to look for a cab. Cursing at the lack of cars around, he quickly realized there was no way you were making it all the way back to your flat, not tonight. “My place, then,” he mumbled, letting go of your wrist to wrap his arm around your waist, starting to lead you towards his flat that was just over 7 blocks away.
“My flat is the other way!” you protested, almost being dead weight against his side as he used all of his strength to guide you down the street. “Where are we going, you silly goose?” you laughed, leaning even more on him and making him chuckle at how sloshed you were.
Despite your embarrassing situation, you were quite enjoying Roger’s arm around you. Of course, you were using all of your willpower left to keep your mouth shut, because even in your inebriated state, you knew this was not the time to clue Roger in on your little crush.
“Goose? Is that what you think of me?” he teased, helping you across the street and flipping off a car that honked at you both. “We’re going to my place, you can sleep there.”
“OoooOooOh,” you drew out, wiggling your eyebrows. “I get to go to the goose’s nest tonight!”
“My God,” he laughed, trying not to drop you as he continued to lead the way down the sidewalk, your arm wrapping loosely around his shoulder.
As he walked the 7 long blocks with you, you blabbered on and on about the guy at the bar. He had to hear about how he was an old friend from primary, and how he’d bought you drinks and asked if you’d been to a late night chips place down the road. You said you told him you hadn’t, so he offered to take you but you didn’t want to leave, and that’s about the time the “big boss Roger” showed up to end the fun.
As you walked up to the tower block Roger was living in with Brian and Freddie, you sighed dramatically and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I tried to make you stay longer,” you mumbled, slurring your words quite a bit, but Roger already knew how to decipher your drunken ramblings. You loved that about him. In fact, there were quite a few more things you loved about him that you hadn’t told him before. It was a pity you’d become such close friends, because you reckoned that was the only thing preventing you from telling Roger how you felt about him.
He chuckled and shook his head as you both approached the stairs, Roger wondering to himself how he’d get you up to the 4th floor. “Hey, let’s crawl up the stairs, that’d be fun, right?” he suggested, hoping you’d take to the idea. You groaned before starting to crawl up them, knowing the alternative was being carried and that would kill Roger before you got to the 2nd floor.
Roger followed, snickering a bit at the state of you, but encouraged you all the way to his floor, where you decided to lay down. “Rog, I’m beat,” you complained, pressing a hand against your head and closing your eyes. “I think I’m going to sleep here.”
“No, no, Y/N, don’t be a drama queen, that’s Fred’s job,” he ordered, grabbing ahold of your hand and pulling you up to what could be considered a standing position. Throwing your arm over his shoulder, he managed to drag you down to his flat as you apologized for trying to sleep. He then unlocked the door kicked it open gently, calling out for his roommates.
You decided to join in. “Freddieeeee,” you sang, your eyes still halfway closed and heavily lidded as you laughed at how terrible you sounded. “Briaaaann, come out, come out, wherever you are!”
Roger carefully sat you down on the sofa, patting your head gently before heading off to their rooms to find them empty. They must have decided to stay longer at the pub than they had originally planned, which made Roger groan softly. He was alone in getting your drunk ass to bed.
“Looks like it’s just you and me,” he said as he came back into the front room, where you’d managed to pull off your shoes and sprawl out on the couch. Your heart fluttered as you realized you were truly alone with Roger, and anything could happen. Jesus, I must be really drunk if I’m thinking we’re going to do anything but go to sleep tonight, you thought. “Let’s get a glass of water in you, eh?”
You nodded once, smiling lopsidedly up at him before closing your eyes and humming to yourself. As Roger grabbed a glass of water and some Tylenol for you, he heard you start to quietly sing off-key, then suddenly, you stopped. After a pause, you called out to him. “Rog, come sing your harmony, you bastard!”
You then began to sing Doing All Right unbearably loud, Roger trying to shush you and try not to laugh as he reminded you of the upstairs neighbor who hated how loud they were. As if on cue, the upstairs neighbor stomped on the floor, which made you shut up and look at Roger with an impish grin. He looked adorable tonight, and you hated yourself for noting that. He was supposed to be your best friend and confidant, and now here you were wondering why you hadn’t made out with him already.
As you admired him, he couldn’t help but grin back at you. Shaking his head, he helped you sit up, handing you the water and Tylenol before sitting next to you and pulling his shoes off. You gratefully took the pills and water, then sat the glass on the nightstand next to you before laying down again, sprawling over Roger’s lap and making him raise an eyebrow at you. “I’m sorry for being loud,” you practically whispered, running a hand over your face before giving him a guilty look. “I promise I’ll be good now.”
“You’re awfully apologetic tonight,” he remarked, relaxing back against the couch and spreading one arm out along the back while the other hand rested on your stomach lightly. “How come you never want to apologize to me when you’re not a shitfaced mess?!”
“Oh, fuck off and die,” you automatically replied, reaching out to smack his chest playfully. As soon as you did it, your jaw dropped and you began apologizing profusely, becoming a babbling mess again.
He began to shush you again, laughing in between shushes and finally resorting to putting a hand over your mouth. Quieting again, Roger gave it a moment before moving his hand to play with a strand of your hair instead. “I think it’s time you went to bed, sweetheart.”
“No, I’m finnne!” you swore, though your drooping eyelids told him otherwise. He gave you a look, which made you whine and roll off his lap, crawling to the floor and starting to make your way towards his bedroom. “You’re such a bully,” you whined as you slowly crawled your way down the hallway, Roger following close behind and rolling his eyes.
“Do you want to sleep on the floor tonight?” he warned, which made you crawl faster and scramble into his bed when you got to his room. “That’s what I thought.”
“I’m sorry, Rog, I didn’t mean it,” you whined, crawling under his covers and peeking out at him as he started to get ready for bed. “Thank you for taking care of me tonight,” you added, wanting to get back on his good side. “I really ‘preciate it, honestly. You’re the best.”
“That’s my job,” he reassured, pulling off his shirt and tossing it in his dirty laundry as you watched him. You admired his remarkably slender build that contradicted somewhat with his status as a drummer. He didn’t have any remarkably prominent muscles on him, but he was still toned, and though his hair was longer, he didn’t seem too feminine to you in the dim light that was coming through his blinds from the city lights outside. Though, would it matter if he did look feminine? You found yourself thinking that Roger was attractive to you in any state, drunk or sober, angry or happy, mean or nice, any way, any day.
“You’re my faaavorite, Roggie,” you said affectionately, overwhelmed with admiration for him all of a sudden.
Roger laughed at that, glancing back at you before going over to his closet. “I’d bloody hope so.”
“You don’t have to take care of me, like this, you know?” you mumbled, still watching him as he searched for some pajama pants in his piles of clothes. “I know I can be a bit much, and you’re soooo fucking wonderful for putting up with me,” you continued on, Roger smirking at that. He found a pair of pajama pants, which he started switching into, so you looked at the ceiling out of courtesy and started to close your eyes. “I mean it, Rog. You’re the best, you treat me wayyyyy too well. There’s nothing keeping you here-”
“Well, it’s my flat,” he interjected, making you open your eyes again and shoot him a dirty look. “I’m sorry, go on about how I’m the best,” he laughed, starting to crawl into bed with you and making you scoot over as he laid on his side next to you, watching you expectantly with his head propped up on one hand. You were suddenly nervous, Roger no closer than he’d ever been to you before. You’d slept in the same bed before, but you’d never felt so much love for him all at once while in such close proximity. Unable to filter yourself, you continued.
“I meant, like, I’m just me and that’s alright, I guess, but there’s no reason for you to stick around and take all my bullshit like you do. Like, you’re not my boyfriend or anything,” you rambled, both you and Roger not sure where you were going with this. The alcohol still coursing through your body propelled you, however, and you kept talking. “But I’on’t know, I always thought you’d end up my boyfriend, as much as you put up with me, but I’ve pretty much just given up that idea. You keep sticking around anyways, honestly kind of scamming yourself, you are,” you admitted, avoiding eye contact with Roger and instead looking at his collarbones as you played with the duvet nervously. You knew you’d started to say too much, but your stupid feelings wouldn’t stop coming out because you were so nervous and Roger being right there made you even more nervous.
“You thought we’d end up dating?” Roger asked, no hint of emotion in his voice to suggest he leaned either way on the issue. He was asking more for a clarification, which made you even more shaky as you tried to compose a response that wasn’t horridly revealing. However, that worked out about as well as it could, considering the amount of alcohol you’d consumed before leaving the bar.
“I guess, yeah,” you mumbled, still afraid to look up at him. “Fred’s always teasing me about when you’re going to ask me out, so I guess after a certain point… I didn’t mind the idea of it anymore?” The last part of the sentence came out as more of a question, and you squeezed your eyes shut, mentally smacking yourself for sounding so terrified. Fuck it. I’m already this far gone, why not just let it all out? “No,no, no, not I guess. I know I don’t mind the idea anymore. Actually, I’m a bit bummed you still haven’t asked me out. What’s with that?”
“Very subtle, Y/N,” Roger teased, reaching up to replace a stray hair that had fallen into your face. “Fred’s been bothering you about me, has he? I’ll have to tell him off tomorrow.”
“Oh, please don’t!” you begged, quickly looking up at him with a desperate look in your eyes. “He’ll know that I told you that I fancy you and then I’ll never hear the end of it!”
“Well, now there’s news,” Roger commented, a blush creeping on to your cheeks as you realized how stupidly you’d just told him how you felt about him. Shit, you’ve done it now, Y/N. “You never said you fancy me, love, not until just now. What’s with that?”
“Oh, forget it,” you groaned hopelessly, rolling over to face away from him and pulling the covers over your head. The room felt like it was spinning as you laid there in the dark, and you took a few deep breaths to calm down. “Forget I even said that, I’m sloshed and don’t know what I’m doing.”
Roger began to laugh, tugging the covers back down and booing you. “Oh, boo you, I was just taking the piss. Look at me, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.” You reluctantly rolled back over, giving him the stink eye as you kept the covers pulled up to your shoulders, trying to hide as much vulnerability as possible. “Now, back to the asking you out thing, when did Fred start to bother you about this?”
You wracked your brain, struggling to pull memories through the muddle of alcohol and embarrassment, but you finally recalled at least an approximate date and managed to choke it out. “A couple months ago, maybe?”
“Damn! He was supposed to keep his mouth shut,” Roger cursed, mainly to himself. “Also, you’ve been taking this from him for two whole months?”
“Yeah,” you admitted reluctantly, sounding ashamed. Then, your brain latched on to what he said before, and starting racing as you tried to figure out what he’d meant. “Freddie was supposed to keep his mouth shut about what?” you pried, suddenly propping your head up on one hand too.
Roger chuckled, then shook his head and laid down on his back, his eyes lazily tracing around the ceiling as he answered nonchalantly. “Well, if you must know, I told him I’d been thinking about asking you out a couple months ago, when we were recording one night. But I’d honestly been having so much fun and going out with you anyways these last few months, I didn’t even think about it anymore. I thought he’d zipped it, but that worked about as well as I should have expected… Lead singers, they have such big mouths.”
Your face broke out into a wide grin as you processed what he was saying. “God, I better be sober enough now to remember this in the morning,” you murmured, rubbing your eyes to stop the room from spinning and hardly believing what had just went down.
“I’ll convince you it was a dream,” Roger taunted, looking over at you only to receive more stink eye from you.
“I’m going to write it down right now so I don’t forget,” you stated, climbing over him and out of the bed in a determined fashion, Roger trying to grab you to keep you from leaving but failing. You clumsily made your way over to his desk and grabbed a pencil and his journal that he wrote songs in, flipping through the pages to find an empty one while Roger untangled himself from the duvet that you’d gotten him wrapped up in.
“Hey, don’t read that!” he exclaimed, nearly falling off the bed as he tried to scramble over to you, so you ran out of the room, nearly slipping in the hallway as you made your way to the bathroom and locked yourself in. Roger got there two seconds too late, banging on the door as you leaned against the other side, knowing the lock wouldn’t hold long if he had a key. “Are you mad, Y/N? Give me my song book!”
You ignored him, figuring he genuinely didn’t want you to remember what he’d confessed, and kept going through the pages. On your quest to find an empty one, something caught your eye as you flipped through quickly, and you stopped. Going back, you realized that it was your name that had gotten your attention, and you got back to the page to find a song titled after you.
Curiosity got the best of you and you started reading his scribblings as best as you could. You realized it was a love song, and your heart soared as you smiled wider than you figured you ever had. Roger liked you as much as you fancied him, and now you had proof.
You heard Roger start to unlock the door with a key so you unlocked it anyways, swinging it open to find a disheveled Roger. His hair was unkempt, the duvet still caught around his foot, and he was looking at you wildly as he tried to rationalize what to do next. You were just smiling at him, his song book still open to the page you were just reading, and you held it up to show him.
Visibly deflating, he snatched the song book from you and put a hand on your upper back, pushing you firmly but gently in the direction of his room like you were a small child in trouble for getting out of bed past bedtime.
“I didn’t write that,” he lied lamely, just making you giggle and laugh as you entered his room, crawling back into his bed. “It was… Brian. Yeah, Brian borrowed my journal and wrote that about you! Right weirdo, he is. I don’t write that mushy crud like him and Deacy.”
He leaned on his desk with one hand to reach down and unwrap the duvet from his ankle, and when he looked back up at you, you were still grinning and giggling at him. He sighed, mainly at himself, and came back over to the bed, tossing the duvet over you before reluctantly crawling back into bed with you and laying on his back, staring at the ceiling.
“Whatever you say, Rog,” you finally replied, Roger groaning softly as he refused to recognize he was on the embarrassing side of things now. However, when you curled up against his side and draped your arm loosely over his stomach, he didn’t push you away.
In fact, as you drifted off peacefully, he even smiled a bit and wrapped an arm around you protectively, drifting off himself as he realized that, no matter how embarrassing, he’d finally gotten what he’d wanted after all this time – you.
#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor x reader#queen imagine#i did this instead of doing homework hahaha#oops#roger taylor
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Homestuck Liveblog #187
UPDATE 187: Love Confession
Last time Dirk took back the narrative, and Jade was knocked out for months. Also, Jane won the election, it’s a victory for the neoliberal austerity measures. Viva la Crocker! So what now? Let’s see.
We make a quick stop back at Rose’s apartment. She understandably wants to pack a few things before we leave this planet forever.
...okay, the update has barely started and there’s already some big news. So Dirk’s leaving the planet with Rose? Why? Is this an important part of his assimilation plan? Or is he doing this just to spite Kanaya, because he clearly has dedicated a lot of effort to making her run in circles? Dirk, explain!
She’ll have to leave her current body soon if she’s going to survive the absolute realization of her Ultimate Self. The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.
The first thought I had was that she was going to ascend and turn into some kind of metaphysical existence, then I read the part about ‘the new body I’ve made for her’. Could it be a robot? I remember Dirk is superb with robotics. Pretty creepy of him to shove Rose’s consciousness into a robot, really. Kanaya isn’t going to be happy at all with this.
At least there’s still enough Rose in that head she wants to pick up stuff because of the memories. There’s still hope if she’s taken away from Dirk, perhaps? Hard to know. Rose hardly will be safe as long as Dirk has control over the narration, anyway.
Apparently Dirk knows nothing about jewelry, because he calls a necklace a ‘rock rope’. I know it’s unlikely the version of Earth he came from had any use for jewelry given...well...he was one of the two humans that remained alive and also everything was ruinous and gone, but seriously, Dirk, pay attention, haha! Rock rope, seriously...
I expect at least an aggravated retort, but nothing comes.
I glance back and see that her eyes have grown glassy and distant, like two round-cut amethysts. Her smile seems due less to fondness than stupefaction. The circles under her eyes are dark, and her head is cushioned on an arm bent beneath it. Keeping her eyes trained on me seems to be the only energy she’s able to expend anymore. The omniscience sickness is wreaking havoc on her. I should hurry up.
I’m glad I never had to feel whatever she’s going through. Not everyone can be built like me. It just means I carry a greater responsibility to take care of those more fragile. Especially the ones most important to me.
It sounds like Rose would have been going through a lot of trouble even if Dirk hadn’t been messing around with her head, but nothing of what he has done is good for her. Since she’s not in any condition to make sure Dirk picks up the right things, he just shoves everything in a bag or something and calls it a day.
ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with this?
She’s so far gone she can’t even tell Kanaya of course wouldn’t be okay with this. Damn, Rose, this epilogue hasn’t been kind to you at all. First it makes you omniscient and have killer migraines, now it’s drying your brain like a raisin so maybe you can be shoved into a robot while you’re being taken out of the planet to who knows where. Then again, who has this epilogue been kind to?
Dirk states he’ll make Kanaya understand, by which I imagine he means he’ll make her go around the Earth as if she was playing Where in the World is Rose Lalonde. Given how Kanaya won’t accept anything that isn’t Rose being freed, talking to her won’t be an option.
Speaking of Kanaya, she’s currently rushing towards the apartment, possibly having noticed Rose is there, and stop to take out her phone and plan what she’ll say to Dirk.
Is she sure she’s not misunderstanding something? Could she have misread the signals, or falsely assigned nefarious intent to a perfectly innocent series of events?
Honestly at this point I doubt anything of what Dirk has said to her can be construed as a ‘perfectly innocent series of events’. I mean, almost all of it has been left up to imagination, but Dirk already admitted he’s okay with messing around with Kanaya, so I doubt he has even pretended to make it look like this isn’t a kidnapping.
By now it’s pretty clear where there’s orange text there’ll be gaslighting. He takes advantage of his narrative powers to fill Kanaya with doubts and make her think she’s misinterpreting so many things. He’s even making her doubt of maybe being with her is good for Rose. It gets to the point where she tries to call Rose again and, this time, Dirk lets her answer, most likely because he knows he has managed to get the reactions and feelings he wanted her to feel.
KANAYA: Rose Its Okay
KANAYA: I Know Everything
ROSE: You... you do?
KANAYA: Yes
KANAYA: I Understand Whats Going On Now
KANAYA: I Just Want You To Know
KANAYA: How Happy You Made Me
ROSE: Oh, Kanaya...
KANAYA: I Wont Be Long
KANAYA: I Just Need To Say A Couple Things
KANAYA: While I Can
KANAYA: Before I Get Too Emotional About This
KANAYA: I Finally Get It
KANAYA: I Know You And He Belong Together
KANAYA: I Really Hope You Will Both Be Happy
KANAYA: Wherever Youre Going And Whatever You Decide To Do
KANAYA: I Will Always Be Thinking Of You
KANAYA: And Be Grateful For The Life We Had Together
ROSE: I...
ROSE: I’ll always remember you, Kanaya.
ROSE: Thank you so much for understanding.
And with this the path is clear and Kanaya won’t interfere anymore. Dirk has once again gotten away with whatever he’s trying to do. Congratulations, Dirk. Now what? He takes the phone to speak to her. Now that Kanaya isn’t upset and raring to rescue Rose, they have a short conversation.
DIRK: You’ve probably heard by now that Jade is sick.
DIRK: In a coma or something? She’s in the hospital.
KANAYA: Yes
DIRK: I’ve got an antidote for that. Medicine of sorts.
DIRK: If you give it to her, it should wake her up almost immediately.
DIRK: I left it here on the counter in your apartment.
I sure as hell don’t trust anything Dirk can give them. I’m almost certain that supposed antidote or medicine is none of that, and will make her worse. What’s more, won’t this make them suspicious? This would certainly show Dirk knows more about what happened to Jade than what he has told them. Heck, as I mentioned last update, this isn’t the first time he has used tranquilizers. Someone should have been able to make the connection, no?
Dirk sedates Rose with his trademark horse tranquilizers and takes her away. Also...
It slips my mind to bring along her bag of stuff.
I find that impossible to believe. No way Dirk just forgot, he intentionally left that behind, Mr. Multitasking, the guy Jane said would be unlikely to forget even little details.
Back at Dave and Karkaroni’s home, they still were in denial about their defeat in the political world, and now are watching Jane’s inauguration. This is such a bad spectacle for them Dave immediately proposes to get drunk. He’s down with alcoholism now. Oh boy. He also has been wondering for a while if there was anything they could have done different that could have led to their victory. Hardly, as Jake’s endorsement was going to be the cornerstone of their victory, but he still wonders that.
DAVE: i just keep imagining what wouldve happened if that absurd rube goldberg machine of life ruining humiliation had been stopped at any point
DAVE: maybe just being backstabbed by his endorsement alone was something we couldve recovered from with some rigorous counter campaigning
DAVE: but what if i had been fast enough to cut him off before hed even said anything
DAVE: what if i hadnt accidentally fallen on him on the stage when i was rushing over there to stop him
DAVE: what if he hadnt freaked out like i set off fireworks next to a nam vet and started trying to fucking scrum me
DAVE: what if id just backed away from his punch with my legs like a normal person instead of warping the flow of time to escape causing him to become so startled he shit his pants
DAVE: what if i hadnt gotten so visibly grossed out by the smell that even the people watching it on tv could tell what had happened
DAVE: what if he hadnt started sobbing when the audience in the front rows started throwing up
DAVE: what if wed had better security and stopped that lady from running onstage during the fracas and announcing that jake has been dodging paying child support for their 3 kids
Ah.
...
You know, I’m not really a fan of Jake. He’s okay as a character, but I don’t like him that much. Still, I keep having the impression his entire existence in Homestuck for quite a while is to be the author’s punching bag. The guy can’t have any dignity, can he? That aside, Dirk wasn’t in charge of the narrative back then because he was busy ogling over John and Terezi’s heartfelt conversations, so all that happened without his intervention. Poor Jake...
Also, so many people are very into getting Karkaroni and Dave together. While I like that thought, it feels rather invasive of everyone to be so invested in it. At this rate they’ll make the relationship fail before it has even started.
Karkaroni is a bit relieved he didn’t win, but...after the humiliation of losing to anyone in such a public manner I imagine he’s not going to be thrilled with the attention. Even if he’s loved by the public it still will get some comments and words of support, and he’s not the type to take those things quietly. Good thing he almost doesn’t leave the hive.
If Karkat had anything resembling a spine, he’d turn to Dave with those big, sparkling shoujo eyes and finally open his tsundere heart to consummating their painfully obvious and mutually reciprocated passion
How quaint, my eyes somehow went blind momentarily as soon as the words ‘sparkling shoujo eyes’ were said in reference to Karkaroni. What a curious phenomenon.
Somehow, trying to manipulate Dave into confessing his feelings towards Karkaroni is the line Dirk refuses to cross. Really? That’s your line in the sand? Okay then. So he’s going to let these two handle things their way, although with some prodding via narrative, I suppose. Oh, that’s what this page will be about! I see! Alright, continue.
Karkaroni begins by thanking Dave for everything.
KARKAT: EVEN IF WE DIDN’T WIN, I’M GLAD WE TRIED.
KARKAT: I’M GLAD WE WENT THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.
DAVE: me too
KARKAT: MORE THAN ANYTHING, I... YOU...
KARKAT: YOU BELIEVE IN ME IN A WAY NOBODY EVER HAS BEFORE.
KARKAT: MORE THAN I’VE EVER BEEN ABLE TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
Aw, that’s sweet! He really appreciates the support and it’s easy for him to believe Dave means everything he says. When anyone else tells him they like and support him it feels like condescending kindness, but it’s different with Dave. That’s what Karkaroni is saying.
KARKAT: YOU’RE ON MY LEVEL. AND I’M ON YOURS.
KARKAT: I BELIEVE THAT YOU SEE ME IN FRONT OF YOU THE WAY I ACTUALLY AM, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, AND STILL LIKE ME ANYWAY.
KARKAT: SO EVEN THOUGH IT’S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF A LOT OF THE TIME,
KARKAT: I BELIEVE IN YOU, SO I DON’T NEED TO.
DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you
They’re kindred spirits, pretty much. Even if they don’t get together, they’re likely to be good friends for a very long time, if not forever. That’ll do them both some good, especially in these coming times of bad economy and neoliberal austerity measures. Besides, without Jade messing around with ridiculous threesome thirst, things are bound to be less tense around here. The future is...not looking bright, but at least they’ll have each other as support.
KARKAT: YEAH, KIND OF?
KARKAT: FUCK, MAN. THAT’S KIND OF DEEP.
DAVE: i know
KARKAT: SO, YEAH.
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT I’VE NEVER REALLY FELT BEFORE.
KARKAT: AND I’M GLAD YOU’RE...
KARKAT: THAT WE’RE...
Come on. You’re so close.
KARKAT: I’M GLAD YOU’RE MY FRIEND, DAVE.
Aw, that’s fantastic! Look at that, Karkaroni said aloud he appreciates Dave this much, and he did it to his face! This kind of thing is real difficult for him, so the fact he felt the spontaneous need to tell this to Dave is pretty nice. They have come quite a long way since their first interactions in like Act 3 or so.
Dave pretty much says ‘oh. Same.’, which is as much emotional reciprocation as Dave can give, I suppose, so I can’t give him much of a hard time. Dirk, on the other hand, is pretty much dying. If Dave and Karkaroni’s conversation is what makes Dirk quit controlling the narrative I’ll be so amused. This is going so well Dirk decides to press things a little, making Dave have some weird mental images and similes, but it does get Dave to continue talking.
Kind of rude to forget what you were talking about Karkaroni’s feelings, pal. Top notch friendship/almost romantic effort. But yeah, it’s now Dave’s turn to talk about his feelings, saying ‘same’ in more words.
DAVE: like maybe we feel the same way about certain things
DAVE: but what were saying and what were feeling
DAVE: maybe those arent exactly the same thing
DAVE: and maybe... we should...
KARKAT: WE SHOULD WHAT?
DAVE: maybe its time to
DAVE: talk
DAVE: about... that
Well, I guess this is progress?
KARKAT: THAT???
DAVE: yeah, like
DAVE: how... when you say were friends
DAVE: what... does that mean
KARKAT: THAT WE’RE FRIENDS?
DAVE: yeah but
DAVE: is that it?
DAVE: just friends
Oho, he’s pushing for it! Maybe Dave really feels something romantic towards Karkaroni. I’m actually a bit surprised he’s acting on that. While I personally did believe he did, I wasn’t really going to take it for granted unless more indication was given in the text and here it is. Alright!
KARKAT: OF COURSE NOT.
KARKAT: YOU’RE MY...........
KARKAT: B......
KARKAT: ......EST FRIEND.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: i see
It’s so unlike Karkaroni to hesitate like that. Does he feel the same too? I feel like, if he had no doubts about it, he’d have outright said ‘best friend’ without any ellipsis. Something in your mind, Karkaroni? Dave accepts it anyway, and that’s that. At least until Dirk keeps pressing things forward again. Geez, give them a break.
Alright, Dirk, can you not. Being too descriptive is a thing, you know.
Dave’s actually leaning forward for a kiss, Dirk making sure every little action Karkaroni does seems like he’s receptive to romantic overtures, until Dave realizes he’s having thoughts he’d never have. Which is true, really. The narration is really invasive.
KARKAT: WHAT’S WRONG?
KARKAT: DID I DO SOMETH—
DAVE: no
DAVE: i just cant
DAVE: shit
DAVE: it just feels like
It feels like nothing, Dave. Don’t worry about it.
DAVE: what the fuck is going on
DAVE: this feels really off
KARKAT: ????
DAVE: idk
DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think
He’s right. This is precisely why I say forcing things to happen is not a good idea. Look at that, it’s interfering. Way to go, Dirk, now stop metaphorically holding their head together as if they’re dolls you’re making kiss. All you did is make Dave all confused.
I take a deep breath and get myself under control. My light psychological intrusions may have only made things worse. Invested as I am in the outcome of this encounter, I know forcing their hand would be a mistake.
NO KIDDING.
If Dave passes that threshold not of his own will, it’d be a hollow victory anyway. There’s nothing I can do but settle down, step it back, and trust my boy to bring it home.
I think if Dirk forced things to happen this wouldn’t last, unless Dirk keeps his attention on their romantic relationship 24/7, and he obviously wouldn’t want to do that. Things would fall apart irreparably, I’d say, because these two are so emotionally constipated they would refuse to even consider the possibility of trying again. Just let things happen, if they happen.
What follows is several paragraphs of prose so purple I’m surprised the font is orange. Despite that it’s pretty well written, it’s descriptive and paints the scene pretty vividly. This may be the one time I like Dirk’s narration. Also, all that is being funneled into Dave’s head, so it’s like he has a narrator describing everything, which he doesn’t like. Dirk once again ruins everything when Dave had already progressed, and let me tell you, your loved one shouting in your face to some unseen influence is not attractive.
Before Karkaroni can ponder if Dave is losing his mind right in front of him, Dave just goes ahead with the kiss. There they go! What they wanted has happened. Now the thing to wonder is if it’ll last. Good luck to them!
God damn. I’m sorry. I’m blowing the description here, and missing a lot of good shit. It just caught me so off guard.
Honestly it’s better this way. No need for more, that was all that was needed. Brevity is the soul of wit, Dirk. Not that you have ever known the meaning of the word ‘brevity’.
I’m not going to intercede with a single word further, and I won’t let you, either. I won’t cheapen this beautiful moment with my base editorialization just to satisfy your voyeuristic curiousity. Frankly, I’m offended you’d even expect me to.
I expected it because you have as much tact as a baseball bat to the teeth, pal.
What they’re getting up to here is nobody’s business but theirs.
Davekat is canon, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter. Let’s give these crazy lovebirds some privacy and move on.
Thank goodness, make this twice I’m okay with Dirk’s narration. I better check outside and see what color is the moon right now. Oh, look, it’s blue. No wonder he’s being discreet.
So after these parts where Dirk was acceptable as the narrator, naturally he has to go and ruin it by meeting Jake the next page, where he immediately showers himself with rose petals and preens by bragging about any virtues he thinks he has. I’m not looking forward to him talking to Jake, especially not after the way he was talking about Jake back at the stadium for the endorsement speech. At the first sign of ridiculous gaslighting I’m calling this a day.
My guy Squarewave is here too. I need his help today, because there’s a lot of cargo to wrangle. He’s wheeling something around on a hand truck. Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it. But the only way she’ll be able to do that is when she’s awake and looking in a mirror.
Okay, it definitely will be a robot for Rose. Golly, there’s something really creepy about transferring a friend’s consciousness to a robot, especially when she’s in no condition to do anything about it. Then again, I suppose a robot’s processing power would help to deal with the sensory overload of all the visions and stuff. That must be Dirk’s reasoning, no? I wonder for Rose will react once she’s inside the robot, able to think clearly – if Dirk doesn’t stop her from thinking, of course.
Dirk goes straight to the point, telling he needs a spaceship, although he doesn’t mention it’s to run away from the planet. All he wants is something fast, to run away as quickly as he can to where nobody can bother him while he keeps his iron grip on everything from a distance, I suppose.
Apparently Jake thought he was going to join Dirk, so Dirk sets that straight. Now that this matter is settled, Jake asks a sensible question:
JAKE: So um... how long will you be away? Does kanaya know about all of these shenanigans?
DIRK: Yes.
DIRK: We’ve discussed it. She’s ok with it.
JAKE: Whew good to see theres no trouble in paradise. Theyve always had the most lovely marriage.
Boy that’s going to be awkward to discuss, if they ever do. There’s plenty of trouble in paradise, and all of them are shaped like Dirk.
Jake hasn’t gotten over his failed relationship with Dirk, and he asks him when he’ll be back from this romp in space. The news Dirk is never coming back devastates him. Oh hey, I just realized: is Terezi coming? This is what Dirk meant about letting her come along, right? Is she going to join them, dragging John’s corpse in a wallet? Should I expect a Terezi robot in the future?
Jake can’t come, not only because Dirk doesn’t want him anywhere near him, but also because he’ll have to support Jane in a reign that’s likely to last millions of years. Jake argues he knows nothing about strategy or policy, so I suppose he’ll stay because of his political capital? Whatever political capital he has left after the...shameful spectacle of the endorsement speech.
DIRK: Uh, Jake. Nobody wants you to do any of that.
DIRK: Well, I know Jane sure doesn’t.
JAKE: Then... what...
DIRK: You’ll just be, you know.
DIRK: Her candy boy?
JAKE: CANDY BOY???
DIRK: Yeah. Being on call.
DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such.
DIRK: To provide her with many heirs.
DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool?
I’m losing my patience with this ass and also with Condesce Jane. Scrolling down. Jake basically confesses he can’t live without Dirk’s presence, and Dirk puts all the blame on Jake. Where’s the arrow for the next page...ah, there it is.
Kanaya is looking for Jade’s hospital room, antidote in hand. She finds it and shows Roxy the antidote, ready to apply it to Jade. She doesn’t even explain what it is, she just injects it right away, and it doesn’t take long at all for Jade to start moving. An effective antidote! And when Jade opens her eyes, they’re green instead of black. She’s not possessed. Ah, so that’s why Dirk was okay with letting Jade wake up, she’s not under Dead Calliope’s control anymore.
Looks like during her trance there was still some sort of consciousness in her. She knows a lot, possibly in the same way Dirk, Rose and Terezi know a lot – by seeing a lot of alternate Jades. She’s taking it all rather well, without headaches or anything debilitating like what Rose had before going to see Dirk. She does have something, though: wrath. And it’s all directed at one person.
JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!
Damn right! Buuuut he’s kind of getting on a spaceship, so you’re running out of time for that. Then again, this is Jade, the one with space powers. That has to be some sort of advantage.
The next page is Dirk’s justification for his actions. It’s nothing really worthwhile, mostly that he wanted to be a good person and thought of himself that way, but given what he had to do and what powers he had, it was impossible to come across as anything but the villain, and that he admitted he was the villain now. From all this page there’s only a couple things worth going deeper into, I’d say. Let’s see...
If my agenda was to try as hard as I could to make sure no one thought I sucked, what the fuck would ever get done? How would I go about taming this world, or shaping reality for the better? And if I didn’t bother pursuing those goals, and thereby tacitly accepting the untold suffering that resulted from my inaction, wouldn’t that make me a bad person? If I try and succeed, I’m a hero, right? And if I try and fail, at least I made things interesting on my way to the grave. There would be a tragic nobility in that. And the way I see it, settling for anything less from my arc would be, frankly, pathetic.
Right. Can’t say I understand what Dirk’s plan is, other than it seems like it’s to assimilate everyone under one big god or something – most likely in a metaphorical manner – but other than that there hasn’t really been any kind of information about it. That aside, there’s something else to touch in this part.
Be okay with everyone hating you because you know what you’re doing is for the better? It’s more than fine. Has a lot of potential and grounds for some good personal conflict. It’d indeed be tragically noble. Buuuut none of what I read in this epilogue says it’s a tragically noble. In terms of writing, Dirk seriously is going to succeed on making every character in Homestuck loathe him, judging by the way Jade already woke up and is ready to scream her head off about how Dirk has to be stopped, so he has that much right. All that is more than fine, and it certainly would be a hella interesting story if it wasn’t an epilogue.
The problem is that Dirk controlled the narrative and showed exactly what was going on in his head. The reader could see very clearly what he thought of everyone, the reader saw what kind of choice words he had to say about people like John or Jake or anyone else. The reader saw all the disdain towards pretty much everything and how Dirk kept patting himself on the back. After all that, this entire page of Dirk justifying how it’s okay if he’s the villain comes across as very delusional. It’s pretty hard to think of any of this as ‘tragic nobility’ when the narrative showed very well he’s pretty rotten to the core.
Which would have been excellent if this had been anything other than Homestuck, really. It’d have been such an interesting thing, and so enjoyable. Alas. Still going to talk about that once I’m done with the epilogue.
The other thing I think is worth seeing is this:
That’s why when someone finally comes knocking for the price I owe, I’ll fully welcome it. By then it’ll have been a long time coming, and I’ll probably have done more than my share to make sure, somewhere along the way, it all got put into motion. What good is a villain who doesn’t have a satisfying dramatic comeuppance in store for him? So yeah, the next time I die, let’s pencil it in as a Just Death. And let’s also have it on good authority that the next time Dave cuts off my head, it’ll be for good.
I’ll be looking forward to that day just as much as the next guy.
He already has decided how it’ll be. I don’t doubt he’ll let it happen because, well, he controls the narrative, and my guess is that he wouldn’t let anyone but Dave kill him. Who better than him? And in what other manner but making the meme happen once again? Even during death Dirk Strider has to stick to his memes. Wouldn’t be surprised if when the time comes he intentionally writes things so Dave decapitates him instead of, say, stab him through the gut with the sword.
Aaaalso, is this implying said ‘satisfying dramatic comeuppance’ isn’t coming in this epilogue? Kind of say that coming, really. I heard the Meat epilogue has forty-something pages and this is page 41. There’s not really a lot of space left to do a dramatic confrontation that’s not rushed, unless you forgo everything like setting it up and just teleport everybody to the moment of Dirk’s death. Then again, this is Homestuck. Clean, tidy conclusions aren’t really its thing, haha, so I didn’t really think there’d be any kind of confrontation with Dirk. If Lord English didn’t get one in the story itself, why would Dirk Strider of all people get it?
The next page starts with quite the long conversation. Let’s see...
So, Jade is immediately alarmed while Kanaya is appeasing her, saying everything is okay. Roxy is going to be so confused, being the only one here who hasn’t been involved in Dirk’s antics at all. Now that I think about it, Roxy is the only one who hasn’t been kicked to the curb by this epilogue, I suppose it’s because she’s been pretty much a nonentity during the epilogue except for a conversation or two that didn’t really have anything to do with the other plots. Then again, Calliope had even less and she ended traumatized.
KANAYA: Hes Going To Take Good Care Of Rose
KANAYA: Probably Much Better Than Id Ever Be Able To
KANAYA: Ill Miss Her But Im At Least Thankful For That
JADE: THANKFUL??
JADE: kanaya...
JADE: did
JADE: did dirk KIDNAP ROSE?!
Yes! He very much did! Make sure when you rescue her her mind is in her body instead of inside a robot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to convince everyone to take an empty husk away, saying she’s in a coma or something.
Things are so bad Roxy sounds indignant. I feel bad for her, it’s going to be tough to hear such things about one of her oldest friends. Jade asks questions to find out if Kanaya being okay with these developments was an attitude she arrived to by her own volition or if Dirk influenced her in some manner. As soon as the answer is said she knows it’s Dirk’s influence.
It’s fine, Kanaya. Why don’t we just say I’m invoking the mercy rule here. Jade is onto me obviously. But I wouldn’t have even let her wake up if there was anything you all could do about it by now. As the cherub resurfaces in her mind, I’ll be fading out of here soon anyway. I don’t see any reason to keep my dear friends in limbo any longer than they need to be.
So he doesn’t mind if Dead Calliope takes over Jade again – and possibly the narrative. Sounds to me like Dirk got away with whatever he was doing, then. If he can let go of the narrative, then he doesn’t need it anymore. Oof, not good. He cares so little he even gives Kanaya her own sane judgment back. How smug of him.
KANAYA: Wait
KANAYA: I Dont...
KANAYA: Im Confused
ROXY: ???
KANAYA: Why Didnt I At Least
KANAYA: Demand To See My Wife Before They Departed While I Had Dirk On The Phone
ROXY: omg u didnt even SEE her before she left??
KANAYA: No
KANAYA: At The Time It Didnt Feel Right To Ask I Guess
KANAYA: I Was So Devastated I Thought
KANAYA: That I Should Just
KANAYA: I Dont Know What I Thought
KANAYA: What
KANAYA: What Was I THINKING?
JADE: :(
She must be furious. It’s not everyday she lets go of her quirk like that. From the position my scrolling bar is at right now, I see more full caps. Kanaya, do you still have chainsaws? I can imagine Kanaya revving up the chainsaw right now. Dirk should consider himself lucky he may be already in outer space.
Seriously, it’s pretty hard to think of Dirk’s actions as ‘tragically noble’ when he’s patting his own back so hard he’s going to sprain his shoulder.
Without even knowing the details Kanaya is already certain Dirk has corrupted her in some manner, because otherwise Rose wouldn’t have acted like she did. She’s not wrong! And then she vows to make him pay, and pay dearly he will. That part I’m afraid won’t happen, as I’m pretty sure Dave will be the one to give the final blow, and chainsaws kind of make deadly injuries so she can’t do anything.
Since Jade’s the one with the answers, Kanaya demands to hear them, impatiently ignoring Jade’s words about anything that doesn’t seem related to Dirk at first. True to dramatic yet cheesy writing, all Jade manages to say is...
JADE: im trying to get to that!
JADE: the thing with dirk is...
JADE: is...
Whooops, here comes Dead Calliope. Hi! And this time Dirk is okay with it because his plans are already underway, so he doesn’t mind giving the dead cherub this advantage. Dead Calliope will give Jade back only when Dirk is so far away he’s not a danger to anyone, and given how he’s already far away and in control...well that’s going to be a long while.
they will know what to do, when they are ready.
Ha ha. Sure. They’ll all just hop in a spaceship and go on a wild goose chase trying to hunt me down. I know that already. It’s really not rocket science. Except for the fact that it literally is.
Can it really be called a wild goose chase when it’s a foregone conclusion they’ll succeed? You know they will, you’re even expecting that with some eagerness. It may take them a looooong time, but they’ll reach Dirk someday. A few of these people have an eternity to do so, after all. I imagine others will come along once they find out what happened, too. I’m pretty confident Jane would be the only one who wouldn’t, and that’s because she’ll be too busy implementing her reign of terror.
kanaya drops to the floor and begins weeping again. she feels the sorrow anew from her wife’s departure, with a sense of rage and pain unshrouded by the veil of the prince. neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore, so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.
Well! Sorry to disappoint, Dead Calliope, but the odds they’ll remain on this planet and do nothing after two of them stated pretty clearly Dirk has to be stopped and kidnapped someone are...pretty low. I just hope Dead Calliope isn’t going to get in their way when they finally get going.
KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...
KANAYA: He Has To Be Stopped...
huddled on the floor, she repeats this pledge to herself. theoretically, he could be stopped before he leaves, if they hurried. they would need to know what to do, where to go, and to have the motivation to do it, but time is short. i could push them to, with a certain degree of intervention, but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over them who is nothing like him at all.
So Dead Calliope would just be an observer narrating everything, I guess. She wouldn’t intervene or push anyone around unless they were insulting the mighty lollipop. That’d be the extent of her actions, hm...having free will sounds really nice, I must say. It wouldn’t be so bad for this to be the status quo.
This is the end of the page. This update is already quite long, so I’ll cut it here. In the next one I’ll finish the meat epilogue.
Next update: next time
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