#i hope they knew theyll be remembered even if i will never know their names and story. they were important than important now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelguk · 3 years

Note

omg so i sent in an ask re angst jock jk n oc ! but then i also realized its highly possible these 2 break up at one point while in uni mostly bc of the "are we dating bc its convenient" kinda dilemma and then it just pushes them apart bc they think theyre losing theirselves while being in such a close relationship,,,cue save ur tears by theweeknd BUT i just know when they grow up a lil bit more, theyll end up together <3

here we go! (the beginning of the end....may be...)

didn’t include save your tears as the soundtrack but may haps for the follow-up :3

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: angst, yes the break-up scene, jaykay being an ass (a very huge one motivated by his own insecurities and selfishness – translation: he’d rather break her heart and carry that weight than be the heartbroken one), chayoung is no longer Seed of Doubt but something else (still up for debate but she’s fairly nice here), not edited but hey atp that’s part of my branding (also i would like everyone to consider that oc is not the greatest gf ever like guys don’t hate jk alone!!)

soundtrack: bags, clairo + stay, gracie abrams + say you know, alina baraz

(titled — honeymoon fades)

Jeongguk’s contact name hasn’t lit up the screen of your phone for six days now and you haven’t seen his face for just as long. It’s weird to go from constant incessant communication to complete and utter radio silence. Not a single meme deposited in your Instagram inbox, no random notification from his Twitter. Just silence, quiet brewing silence.

It breaks two days later when Chayoung finds you coddled under your duvet, mouth stuffed with the saccharine sweetness of mint chocolate. (Jeongguk kept a stash of it at your place but who was around to eat it anymore apart from you?).

“And why do you look like you live in a dumpster?” She’d hummed, ripping open the curtains you’d involuntarily welded shut.

“Because that’s how I feel inside,” you’d retorted, pushing aside your laptop. The screen is stuck with an image of an idiotic character named Nabi kissing the spawn of Satan. You hope for her sake it works out. Chayoung had huffed at your response, fondly whacking your head with a stray pillow.

“Well get over that feeling cause we’re going out tonight.” A declaration, the fierceness in her feline eyes a warning that you’re not allowed to even think of saying no. That doesn’t mean you hadn’t tried – sorrowful eyes and pouted lips as you begged her to spare you. But Chayoung is a force of nature, one that could easily wreak havoc on your delicateness. And she does though, with a string of comments that propels you out of the miserable burrow you’d dug up.

“You’re killing everyone, you know?” She’d supplied, yanking open your closet. “You’re sulking, Jeongguk is shutting down. He’s said like five words since this whole...thing...you have going on.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at that, toying with the corner of the large grey shirt donned on your body. Jeongguk’s shirt. One of his favourites actually. You’d thought about stealing it after spying it on his obsessively neat laundry pile, but after seeing your wandering eyes he’d given it to you instead.

“He always does that,” you’d said after Chayoung had whipped her head in your direction, curved eyebrows perplexed. “I mean, shut down. It’s his emotional response to things that bother him. Complete detachment so it hurts less.”

She had just stared at you, a long meaningful look at left your skin prickled.

“Huh.”

“What do you mean ‘huh’?”

A measured step forward, her body weight sinking into the edge of your mattress a moment later. “I mean, you know him so well.”

“Of course I do he’s my best-friend,” you’d said, indignation coating your words

“No–No you're not getting me. You know him. You know he wouldn’t make the move to reconcile–”

“But he should!”

“You told him to go away! He’s trying to listen to you even though he’s hurting!”

And maybe that was it, that simple implication that you were causing him pain that had you pausing, reviewing the things you’d said to him – the things you’d felt.

“But,” a timid rebuttal, “I just–I just need him to show me that he cares.”

“He does,” Chayoung had returned. “So much. And he misses you. He’s probably just afraid that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I do! He knows this.”

“Does he?” A question in her eyes, one that you’re afraid you know the honest answer to.

You say things and never mean them, he had said, eyes hard.

That had hurt you but perhaps he was right, there are things you hadn’t told him, feelings you hadn’t truly expressed. And Jeongguk had always been good to you, so understanding and caring, trying to fill the places were you lacked. Wasn’t he the one who planned the majority of your dates? Remembered all the important milestones of your relationship while you contributed the bare minimum. You hadn’t even told Chayoung about the surprise he had planned for your one-year anniversary, the shame of your own choice hanging heavy over your head.

So that’s why you’re here, staring at the back of his head forlornly as the music drifts around you, flashing florescent lights bathing him a hazy glory. He hasn’t seen you yet (something you’re thankful for because oddly enough you feel sick to your stomach). It feels like you’re skating on thin ice, waiting for the impending crack to sound through your heart, ice water swallowing you whole immediately. Chayoung is the one who pushes you forward, gingerly plucking the idle drink from your hand, Jimin aiding her efforts with a soft smile your way.

It’s time for you to try the way Jeongguk has, put aside that bumbling ego that oversees your actions and adopt the humility he’s always granted you.

“Go,” she murmurs. “He misses you.”

And God you hope he does because you’ve missed him too.

Except the moment his honey eyes land on you you know he hasn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you mumble. Yoonoh is frozen beside him, concerned gaze flicking between your faces. Your own eyes are stuck on him, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the subtle hint of the dimple in his cheeks.

You’ve missed him, and it slips from your heart and brims in your eyes, vision blurry as your blink those stray tears back inside.

“Hi,” you add, when his silence doesn’t break.

“I should probably go,” Yoonoh lets out, awkward words bumping into the wall of tension standing firm between you to. He settles a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, sending him a look that feels loaded. “See you guys later, right?”

You nod, finally noticing the lump clogging your throat. “Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk just hums, the edge of his cup caught between his lips. Yoonoh flees within seconds, leaving you to wade through this alone.

“I–I know you’re not happy with me right now, but please, can we just talk?” He blinks at you, it feels like a premonition. “Please?”

“Okay.” The simple word fills you, like a hollow you weren’t aware of finally found the cure needed.

“Okay,” a small smile on your lips. Jeongguk’s face is still unreadable. He guides you up and away from the deafening sound of the song bleeding from the speakers, into an empty room, the door closing behind him muting the music and giving way to the own pounding in your head. Nobody says anything for a second, both of you navigating this uncharted territory of animosity. Until Jeongguk sighs, melting into the bed at the centre of the room. You follow suit, allocating enough space between the two of you. You’ve ever had to do that before.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Jeongguk finally cuts through it, eyes unforgiving when he glances at you.

“I did! I do–Just Jeongguk,” you can’t help it drifting out. “I miss you.”

Nothing, not even a flicker in his eyes. He eyes shift to the floor instead. “Okay. I that what you wanted to say?”

“No–No not just that! I’ve missed you Jeongguk and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that i went off on you like that and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best towards you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t care about you–or made you feel like the things I said or did had no meaning behind them. Because they do–they do because I love you. I love you so so much and I’m sorry if I made it seem like otherwise.” You automatically extend out for him, hoping to grasp on his thing floating to fast away from you. Jeongguk shifts and you hand tumbles down to the empty space between you instead, halted by his hesitance.

His head drops into his palms a second later, a broken exhale leaving his lips. The motion cause the silver bracelet on his wrist to slip down the length of his arm. It jolts something in you. Jeongguk had given you a matching one but you’d ripped it off after the last argument and hadn’t considered putting it back on. But Jeongguk was still wearing his.

“Do you really?”

“What?” He’s staring at you know, doe eyes cloudy.

“Do you really love me?” There, that stupid evil vile question that you thought you had the answer to but the words vanish in your head the longer he looks at you.

“I do–what? What are you implying? Of course, I do.”

“Of course, you do,” Jeongguk echoes. His eyes turn to the window located over his shoulder. You can see his head working through something, and you’re suddenly terrified fingertips itching to wander through his curls and coax those thoughts from his head.

“Jeongguk? What the hell are you talking about? Talk to me, please.”

He sighs again, at it feels like your heart splinters. A sudden shake of his head and Jeongguk twists back to face you, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

“You don’t love me.”

“Wh–What are you talking about? I do! And how can you decide my feelings for me?”

“No. You don’t love me the way you think you do–the way you should.” It feels like he’s saying it to more than you, like he’s saying it to himself. “Maybe this the wrong choice to make. You know. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”

You shatter just like that, shards on the floor as you stare him, this person that you thought you knew. And maybe the feeling is mutual because Jeongguk is staring at you in a similar way, searching for the courage to say the words you know lie in his heart. Like a loaded cannon, waiting for the match to strike and leave you lying in pieces.

“I think we should break–"

“No,” you cut him off with an adamance that you didn’t know existed until right then. “No, you’re not gonna say that and we are not doing this.”

His eyes narrow then, jaw set. “This is not about ‘us’, I’m doing what’s right for me.”

“How is that right? Huh, Jeongguk? Don’t you care about this? Don’t you care about me?”

He looks away then, ignoring your questions, his throat stuck.

“Jeongguk...” You reach out again, and he allows it, shoulders sinking with the weight of your hand on them. “Don’t you care about me?”

Another heavy exhale, his eyes blinking hard. “I do. And that’s why this won’t work, not the way it should at least. I really think we should end this, or at least reconsider the reasons why we’re together. You say you love me–you say you always have but really–really think about it. About me and us and what we are. I’m sorry, I really am but I just can’t do this anymore.”

He rises then, your outstretched hand tumbling down to the empty space he’d left behind. You can’t move it, can’t breathe, your heart hurtling out of your chest and onto the ground where it lies, fragmented beyond repair and bleeding bare. You glance up through tears, watch him open his mouth and then it and look away.

“Do you mean it?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap to you. He knows what you’re saying. There’s a pause that stretches out for eternity, coloured by the sound of the ringing in your head.

“Maybe.” It cuts right through you, lodging itself deep with intent. And then you just have to nod, swallow the scream clawing at your throat. He murmurs one more apology before his feet carry him away, and you watch, forlorn as you burn his frame into your memory, as your whole world walks out the door.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #au: jock!jaykay #i really abused the hyphen in this but oh well

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un2-verse · 3 years

Text

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

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reconnecting · 4 years

Text

been thinking about being disconnected lately.

its mostly a rambling vent, i kind of lost what i was saying for a bit.

years ago, we did this almost same thing. we tried, for years, to reconnect with our Breton people, because the body is part that.

its a dying culture? okay, well lets see what i can find. mostly christianized things, but some other stuff, so lets focus on that. its all in french or breton, okay, let me try to learn some of that so i can read. how do the dances work, what are the instruments, who did we worship before, wheres our music, whats our culture, who am i who am i who am i?? can i learn? can i join? how does it work tell me tell me tell me who i am even though you cant.

the information is almost all gone. the older generations are pretty much the only ones to know about it, and i cant talk to them because they speak breton and nobody speaks breton. okay where can i find out more, how do i find out more? traditional clothes? music? the music is almost only in france because celtic festivals dont include breton normally.

and now?

i work up the courage to work past an abusive grandfather and find out about the other side. puerto rico, okay. things dont fit let me keep looking this doesnt match what we know. taino, okay. that matches things better, but... orphaned family means we were cut off. who knows things? nobody. ill keep asking, new questions, different questions. check a dna test, find relatives on that side, ask them. what do they know? finally find someone who does, has family the same age, same generation as the one we got cut off at, and they look so similar in photos.

okay lets go off this what do you know what can you tell me im sorry to ask im so sorry i have nothing to give you but can you help??

they will, they do. they tell me our tribe doesnt exist anymore, that so few do. that they still practice. they have the clothes, the names, the dances, the music. they have the traditions still and no tribe name because there werent enough to be a tribe a few generations back. i ask if they ever knew the name, they say theyll ask, i hope for the best. their family has dementia in it too. what else can even be done about that? nothing. im sorry for asking, thank you for answering. i have so many more questions.

the elders i speak to have no answers. i ask them the questions and they respond until i say what i know, and they have no answers either. how can they? i hope they still help, i hope theyll teach me, but they cant have all the answers either. i know this. hopefully they have some. hopefully its not too much, too much asking.

i look on my own. i ask others. they offer to help, to find my familys tribe if they can, but if theyre gone... what then? the family says theyre gone. been nameless for too long, will there be anything else to find? i cant ask the person who offered to help, the language barrier confuses both of us, and this issue is too complicated for me to explain to him. i look up information. the things weve been saying for years, the same things, theyre things my ancestors did, things connected to my culture.

i wonder how it is that i got these things, if its coincidence, if a coincidence like that is even possible with how many similarities there are.

i feel like im eating my own tail.

i ask my friends what to do, they have no answers except to learn, hope that itll work out. they tell me it should, its not that uncommon a situation. it should be fine, keep up hope, im not alone, we arent alone, were family, theyll teach us what they know. theyre right but it doesnt stop the knowledge that their nations aren’t mine. ill learn. ill learn whatever im taught but its not Mine to learn, to pass on.

i ask my friends about my grandfather, the other one, if its polite to try and learn about his culture as well if i dont claim it. they say yes, yes, i Should know, I should learn Something about it. i ask, his grandmother was cherokee, they dont know the tribe, the family is all dead already. i dont ask why. the dementia hits hard, he doesnt remember, there are happier things to remember, dont trigger an episode.

connected on so many sides to different cultures, what should be recently. just a few generations away. i met my great great grandmother, i could have met the others, they could have been alive, they could have taught me. it wasnt that long ago and i didnt meet them, i didnt know. nobody knew. nobody connected though.

why did nobody connect? i cant understand that but i have to. i understand one grandfather, he is racist, is abusive. its a tactic. i understand that, even if i hate him. i understand another grandfather, the generational gap, the timing, the ages of them all. i understand that it was probably for safety. i understand my grandmother. it wasnt her interest to ask, past what she grew up with. nobody asked past what they grew up with.

i cant understand why they didnt ask. why do i have to be the one to ask, to do this legwork? it would have been easier for my mother, for my grandparents, to do this. it would have been easier. more recent, more connected, more resources. and they didnt. should i be upset? am i allowed to be?

my friends say i am. ‘youve just found out your family is almost all gone, youre allowed to be upset.’ “its a hard thing to know your culture and not be able to grasp it. its okay.”

my mother doesnt. when i bring it up she looks disappointed. i get it. the family that she connects to it is abusive, ruined her life. i understand. but this isnt them, theres more beyond it. she looks with those eyes. “why would you want to know? you grew up without it, isnt this enough? arent we enough?”

i have no response. how can i explain the feeling of someone standing behind me, shoving, pushing, saying i have to? how can i explain the feeling like if i dont, something will go horribly wrong, that i need to connect now or itll be gone forever? how do i explain that im the last chance we have to connect, to learn? im the last generation that could do this? how do i explain that to people who dont care, who gave that chance up?

my sister doesnt understand. i ask if she wants to learn, wants to try, and she sounds interested until i explain it will take work. shes interested in the claim, but when i say that shed have to study, have to catch up with the knowledge of the people who lived their lives in it, she drops it, stops asking questions. what do i do with that? she should be interested, shouldnt she? why would you not want to know, or only want to know up until i say it takes work? ive put in over a full days worth of work this week alone, just on this topic, on finding out the little that i know now, and could never regret it, but i say it takes works and she leaves the room with a polite dismissal.

i want to connect. i want to know, what are the cultures that should be in my family like? how do i find them? how do i learn, what do i do, who will teach me, will anyone? why is nobody interested in connecting except for me?

why is it only something they care about when its convenient?

#vent #rant

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magioftheseas · 5 years

Text

Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

#thehinataproject #hajime hinata #hinata hajime #Magi fics #the hinata project #although it's not going to show up #I might as well #I'll probably have to message someone anyway #The tragedy of being muted

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jess-oh · 5 years

Text

reflection

hi journal,

ive been doing some thinking and

i think i’ve avoided whats happened to me for long enough.

i witnessed a drive by shooting and was nearly shot and killed myself. i was too afraid to go outside for a few days. a part of me is now always afraid that any random car could suddenly start shooting and just like that, i could die. i could be pierced with excruciating pain. anything can happen and i just never know anymore. my life is out of my hands.

my roommate had a bad LSD trip and i ended up being on the main receiving end of it. she told me i was drowning and laughed as she tried to choke me. she hit me. she pushed me. she pulled me. she threw a soda can at my head. she broke our dishes. she used my knife to cut herself. she wasn’t okay. she was someone i saw as a younger sister and tried to take care of her. she was a stranger in that moment. her eyes were didn’t. she felt no remorse. she didn’t remember what she did the next day. i was afraid i would die. in the moment, i just kept praying desperately to God for Him to protect her and keep her safe. i was scared when she went to the ER and so desperately wanted her to be okay. and she was. and she got better. but im still left scarred, alone, and afraid.

i hate that these things happened to me this past year. i hate that it’s been 5-7 months later and i still feel so much pain. i hate that i can barely tell these stories without breaking down into tears and feeling the overwhelming amount of pain all over again. i dont want to feel like this anymore.

and ive been avoiding it.

i havent wanted to admit that these things really happened. that i just have to accept it, face it, feel everything, and move on. i dont want to tell my parents and i havent bc im too afraid of how they would react. i dont want them to yell at me for not having told them sooner. i dont want them to know this horrible thing that has happened and immediately judge chicago and make me come back home to california. i dont want to admit that this happened to them bc then theres really no escaping or denying the reality of the situation.

ive been avoiding therapy. because i know the moment i sign up for therapy and actually go and have to verbally work through my issues with another person and actively attend therapy sessions, i cant deny it. theres no running away from it anymore. a part of me has avoided it bc im afraid theyll give me an answer or a way to move on thats aside from God. but im starting to feel desperate enough to try anything at this point.

and most importantly,

ive been avoiding telling God about all this. And I am so sorry God.

But it is so excruciating to think about and dwell on for even a moment and I just can’t deal or face it. I’m too afraid. It’s too much. The pain is overwhelming. I feel like I can’t trust you anymore because what if it happens again? What if I feel so helpless and out of control and lose my life in an instant again? And it probably will. And I don’t understand why and I probably never will.

I don’t want to admit to God that this has happened and I hate that it did and I wish—I so wish that I knew why but I can’t. Because I’m too afraid. Because every time I have cried over this, I restricted my emotions and tears and never let it go the full length. even at the servant retreat when i really felt like God was speaking to me and reminding me that even when I’m not faithful and feel like I can’t trust Him anymore, He still is faithful and by my side and waiting patiently for me to come back home. I stopped myself from really going deeper with Him. Partly because I was afraid of other people hearing me. Partly because I was afraid of being judged by others. And partly because I just didn’t want to come to terms with it yet and actually admit and accept what happened.

I know what I need to do to solve this. I’ve always known. I’m just too afraid to do it.

All I need to do is to just pray to God and confess to Him everything running through my mind. To be totally unfiltered and allow myself feel everything that I’ve been avoiding for so long. To rely on Him for strength and guidance. And to finally, come back home to Him. To accept that this happened and be honest about it, let go, and move on.

I do know why He put me through this. It’s to make me depend on Him again.

He’s tried to make me do that so many times but I am just so incredibly stubborn and have refused every time. Instead, I looked to myself to be my own strength and carry myself to move on.

But ultimately, I need Him.

Judging others for not being “vulnerable” enough and therefore being a “bad” environment for me to be vulnerable and honest with God is such BS. When I prayed for Dana and really felt the Father’s heart, I didn’t care who heard me. All I cared about was seeking and serving Him. And that was the last retreat we had and honestly, it was one of my favorite.

I’m tired of holding onto the past.

It’s time to let go.

When I confessed to Elsa and Songbee that I felt the tears coming during that one praise song but chose instead to focus on taking pictures instead, Elsa asked if that was something I did often/why I chose to do that. And I just shrugged it off and said I don’t think I normally do but maybe I do? When in actuality, it really was just bc I was avoiding dealing with it. But I need to.

I really do.

So I can finally move on and be rid of this pain. Forever.

Or at least for a while.

I don’t want to suddenly break down crying anymore. I don’t want to have this heavy weight in my heart all the time anymore.

i want to finally let go and move on.

please God.

i just hope i can.

thank you.

i pray this all in your name,

Amen.

#reflection

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royal-king-q · 7 years

Text

Last ego standing (random ideas cause i dont know how to write)

warning, a lot of angst and mentions of suicide attempts and a lot of grief

essentially i got the idea from @reverseblackholeofwords of Wilford being the last ego after everyone has faded and the channel isn't going anymore

credit to @oncoming-storm-stole-the-impala for not only helping fuel this but a couple of these they wrote too

sorry they’re sporadic and outta order its in the order we came up with them

- Wilford trying to kill himself in various ways, but after a little bit he heals and he doesn't want to get back up off the floor but he does. he doesn't know why anymore other than to try again

-Wilford buying any old merch from mark that he can and destroying it in hopes that if they're gone he can go too

-Wilford never leaves the building anymore, he cant bring himself to. He wanders the empty halls but never goes into any of the rooms. sometimes he breaks down crying

- Wilford tries so hard to hack into Mark's old channel, but he was never the best with tech and it gets harder every passing year with technology getting better

- He begins to talk to the computer or whatever the tech is, talking to it as if it's the old ego. He begs it to take the channel down. He tells it "You've upgraded so much." And he cries.When mark dies the channel is archived by YouTube itself. It can't be taken down.

- Wilford tries to keep Bim's plants alive but he's not very good at it and they all die with time anyway and he cries every time he tries to make a garden to keep busy and in memory of Bim but they keep dying very quick and he cant handle it

- Wilford having old videos of the egos that he watches over and over. Film from Bim's shows, recordings of the Jim's channels, Host's podcastshe feels guilty and cries while watching them and it hurts so bad but he doesnt want to forget them either

- YouTube closing as a company, Wilford thinks he's finally gonna fade. but no. YouTube does a thing with some of their best creators over the years before closing, including Mark. It makes it worse, he was on the edge but now people remember him and mark more. sure some remember the other egos, but not enough, no where near it. Wilford is more alive and he hates everything about it. YouTube archives everything and it never truly leaves.Wilford snaps, finally completely gone. He tries to kill Mark, actually kill him.

Two ideas for this

- Wilford succeeds, Mark is dead. Wilford is beyond gone, he's laughing and sobbing and cant stop stabbing. Eventually when he does he's soaked in blood, when he finally loses the adrenaline he's sobbing holding Mark's body and apologizing, trying to warp reality to bring him back. "It was an accident". It's like losing Bim all over again, he was to weak to stand and Wilford held him close until he was gone. But Wilford doesn't go too, it brings attention. The ex YouTube star turned actor (yes actor cause fuck it) brings more attention, more attention to the channel, to Wilford. He doesn't fade, and now he truly has no one left, he's completely alone, and its his fault.

- Wilford fails, he cant kill Mark. like any wound wilford does to mark heals quickly, like when Wilf gets hurt. Wilford breaks down sobbing and even though he just tried to kill Mark, mark tries to comfort Wilford but he cant do anything. Mark didnt know what he was doing when he made that one silly video, he didnt know he'd be creating someone to suffer possibly forever, alone. Wilford never really fades, Mark is an actor until really old age when he turns to directing. People always learn of Mark Fischbach and find the old Markiplier channel. Mark passes away , bring attention to him and the old channel, you know the rest

- it's decades of suffering and loneliness until finally, he fades. But more alone than ever, laying curled up on the floor of the old ego building, long condemned and barely standing, the only reason it hasn’t been torn down is Wilford kills anyone who gets to close. he hasnt moved from that spot in months, he has no reason to, Mark is gone, everyone is gone. He feels himself finally going for good, but he cant even be happy. Nothing could make him happy, not even death. when he's gone there's nothing left anymore, no sign he ever existed. the building is torn down, over time Mark is forgotten, his videos outdated and no one alive was around to see them when they were still relevant. it's as if they were never there

- Before Wilford is fully gone, he swears he hears distant voices, the room is bright and warm. He can't see very well, it's very fuzzy and blurry cause over time his eyesight has faded too. He hears familiar commotion and yelling and laughing. He thinks he sees people walking around, they dont seem to see him. Someone in a suit, someone in brown, a few of different colors stand together. He sees someone come over to him, someone familiar and in a suit. It hurts his eyes to look at the other person and he thinks he hears a familiar sound but its hard to tell with his hearing very weak. He looks up and smiles at a familiar face that's smiling warmly down at him. He lets out a small chuckle, weak mumble along the lines of "fitting you'd be here for the end, you were with me from the beginning..." and then he's gone

- i dont mean it in a way of dark being an asshole cause I imagine that Dark and Wilf have a complicated relationship so Dark does try and be there for wilf, after all wilf was there for Dark when he was nothing but an idea from the fans. Plus i feel like Dark's anger and power lust would fade when there's nothing left for him

- After time has passed, Wilford is on his own. Mark is still alive but he never sees him, Wilford never leaves the building and when Mark does come around he cant help but get angry at him. But sometimes, when wilford is alone and wandering the halls, he swear he'll heat someone talking and a light on under that door, a nice warm light. It's a familiar feeling and he goes running in. For a brief moment there's a warm light in his face and he swears theres someone there, but then he's alone again. in a dark cold room, it feels colder than normal. he cant stand and collapses crying. It happens over and over, sometimes its voices, sometimes its that warm light, sometime he swears he'll see someone walking around a corner out of the corner of his eye, sometimes he'll catch a glimpse of what he swears is a coat, sometimes brown sometimes white, but sometimes its a foot but theres that warm light around the corner again. But there's never anything there when he runs after it, its always feels colder.

- Wilford tries everything to get rid of the stache, but as soon as it's gone, its back again. It's the one thing the fans remember the most and he cant change it no matter how hard he tries. He does try to change his outfit, and it works for awhile, before there's a bump of activity more and he's back into the damned yellow shirt and tie. He would kill every old fan, but he can't hande leaving the building for long, besides if he does theyll destroy the old falling apart building.

- Wilford is babbling to himself while wandering the halls, nothing new, he has nothing better to do anymore. but he's babbling like he's talking to someone, and he slips up. Their name slips his mind for a moment and he panics. he cant forget them, its the only thing he has. but it's just the beginning. he cant remember which one was the hero and which one sold... something... He cant remeber which one that had the coat didnt have the eyes. He can't remember what the names of the two who did... some sort of new... are, he cant remember which is which. He cant remember the name of the robots, or how many there were. He just cant. he tries to the point it hurts. Its all a blur but he wont let himself forget, no matter what. He discovers that stabbing himself or shooting himself helps, it snaps him back and he remembers at least for awhile

- He starts to write. In a state of delirium he goes into a room and finds a single writing desk well used and loved but taken care of. He finds a notebook and he writes everything he can remember. He tries againandagainandagain filling up the old empty notebooks there. Eventually he finds one and is surprised to find that the first page actually isn't blank. It's a short letter. Host knew he'd live as well.

-It reads:

Dear Wilford,

I know by the time you

I hope you know what's going to-

Listen. I know what will happen to us all after Mark Fichbach decides he's done which we all know is approaching quickly. We will fade. The channel will live on but we, the egos, will fade away. One by one each of us will be torn from existence. The weakest of us will fade the fastest and the stronger of us will live on keeping their memory alive. We cannot stop this. It is inevitable. First will be Ed Edgar and Silver Shepard. Then King of the Squirrels. Bim Trimmer and Dr. Iplier will fade soon after. One by one the googles will fall leaving us in shambles. The egos will fall. I shall fall and not long after Darkiplier will as well. But...I apologize Wilford. Truly I do.

You will live on without us.

You will live.

I'm so sorry.

You're on you're own now.

- Wilford tried to leave the rooms of the egos alone to preserve them, other than Bim in which he took the plants out to try and care for them but then he realizes upon finding the letter where he is and what he's done. He feels wrong being in here, and sick that he's changed anything

Bonus angst about Google

Blue being the last Google, he was the first and the last. Green was the first to go, then red not long after. Blue clung to Oliver like a lifeline, he had no one else, Bing was already long gone. He kept a close eye on Oliver, taking the best care of him.

But once Oliver faded, Blue had nothing left.

He locked himself in his lab and completely shut down, just waiting until he faded. He didn't care anymore. The others that were left felt as if he was gone long before he actually was.

~I might do more of this if you guys liked it! I get random ideas like this sometimes and i need to start writing them down more.~

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torkieestar5 · 5 years

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The Manhunt of Life

“I know not all that may be coming but be it what it will I’ll go to it laughing.” – Herman Melville

This quote was at the end of my “Today’s Going To Be Great” Page-A-Day calendar for 2018. It sings to me directly so I’ve decided it will be my motto for 2019. I need to let go this fear of mine of not having enough time. I believe this quote can guide me there. It’s the living here, now, in this moment and simply enjoying it for everything it is. Then doing the same thing tomorrow and the day after that.

I’ve practiced daily gratitude for years now. This is a genuine act of appreciation because it grounds me and reminds me of the abundant blessings that have been bestowed upon me – a reminder I need sometimes when I feel pulled down into my privileged problems. I’ve found that the reward is tenfold for practicing this. With it comes a perpetual gift that continues to be regenerated; even more things to be grateful for! It’s like a magic trick that we sometimes forget we know how to perform ourselves. So my theory based on this is that if I can remember to be thankful for the time I have today and to cherish it, perhaps the same transaction will transpire. I’ll finally have all the time I need.

When a new year begins I find it inevitable not to feel all of its possibility. It is a vast clean-slate of opportunity to practice our inner magic; to discover and to apply. It is also daunting to have to a Santa length list of resolutions and goals you’d like to achieve in what seems like a massive amount of time but what really is only 365 days.

Of course, I have many things I want to bring into fruition, always have. My list of wishes most likely outnumbers the stars. I have always used this as my excuse; there are too many things I want to do. This feeling overwhelms me enough to stop me from accomplishing any of them, an excuse that keeps me away from living my true heart’s desire.

You cannot hide long from what you love most – it always finds you. The manhunt of life, if you will, reminding you that there is a reason you hear its call. It’s what you were meant to do. I chalk it up to what I like to call the stages of acceptance:

1. Something irks you.

2. You take notice and vocalize it.

3. Resentment sets in.

4. Realization of said resentment.

5. Wrestling with your emotions about this discovery.

6. Acceptance that it relates to you.

7. Actually applying what your findings are and how they relate to what you must do for yourself.

They say the first step is the hardest one but I find this last one to be the kicker. It is so difficult to jump into what you love to do. No matter how many times you remind yourself of the quote that goes “what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

Anyone who knows me even slightly, known that music and singing has been my true love and deepest passion amongst the many arts and adventures I fill my days with. But I shy away from music the most, convincing myself that I’m not good enough. As I get older, I realize that it is really only me stopping myself and screaming that narrative. It is time to shut that monkey mind off.

The universe provides us with pushes and pulls that bring us where we need to be, we only need to be open to receiving them and then, step seven, apply them. 2018 brought to my attention a musician who has helped me go through the stages of acceptance when it comes to making music. She has released a brilliant, perfect record called Stranger in the Alps and an EP with a supergroup of young folk/alternative females. Ryan Adams has dubbed her “a unicorn in the music business”. Her song “Smoke Signals” is what I refer to as a travelogue song; one that encapsulates a lifetime of observation and experience, which brought me to tears the first time I heard it, something that hasn’t happened since Tori Amos’ “Pick Out Your Cloud”. She’s not even 25 yet and she already has a ridiculous amount of wisdom and talent. I couldn’t help but think to myself ‘not fair’.

Actually, I’m not being fair to myself because who is to say I cannot do the same in my own way? Phoebe Bridgers grew up listening to Jackson Browne and Joni Mitchell and told herself that what they did was what she wanted to do AND DID IT. My jealousy set in along with admiration as I listened. When I saw her perform live, the experience shook me to my core. This was the defining moment of 2018 for me. This is what I want to do myself – one of my many callings but the one that tops the list – the one that grasps my heart the tightest. It’s time to pay attention and act.

It’s time to let go of the idea of being good enough or of not having anything worthy to offer. Release the hope to be a musical prodigy. Let go of the desire to be able to paint worlds like Joni Mitchel and Kate Bush can or be as prolific as Tori Amos and Sara Bareilles or have a voice like Sarah Vaughn and Paula Cole. As I write this Phoebe Bridgers is humming the conclusion track of her album. Amazon plays a bonus track immediately after it, which I have not heard until this moment – this glorious, universe nudging moment. “It’ll All Work Out” is the name of the track and although the lyrics do not pertain specifically to my situation, some phrases resonate and the title itself is sign enough, not to mention it is a beautiful song. She sings that “it never goes away but it all works out.”

So instead of putting pressure on myself to make a list of resolutions in a strict timeline, I am just going to enjoy being here, now. Being present and laughing. They’ll be music and singing to help steer me home to my true self. I don’t need to be envious of Phoebe Bridgers, only thankful that she and her music remind me that it’s my calling too. We don’t need another her, we just need a fully realized me.

2019 Goal: Live for the now, laugh…and sing!

0 notes

yanderewatch · 7 years

Note

but like imagine junkrat, zarya, and mccree, pining after somebody who is literally perfect in their eyes, like they dont think theyll ever get together cause theyre not in their leuge, they still stalk then and pine after them of course, but imagine their surprise when this god/goddess in their eyes kisses them!

(Admin A here, sorry if these suck or don’t really feel that yandere. Though they are really fluffy :3 Anyways, We have finished up what we have left and we did rush them so sorry if they’re bad. I feel I did a bad job on this one so if so I’m sorry but I hope you can enjoy it nevertheless. I do feel that this one was hard to make yandere, it took more of a stalker specifications which made it hard for me to be more creative. For future ref please make your ask as yandere as possible and don’t set to many limitations on them cause it makes it harder on us. After this is posted the box will be open so send in as many as you want.)

Junkrat:

♡ At first site Junkrat knew he was in love. All it took was for their eyes to meet his and in that moment he felt his heart flutter. He had never laid eyes on someone so perfect before, never had anyone spark this type of kind of emotion in him before.

♡ He found his thoughts flooded with them, everything from their hair to their lips. He knew that they were far to amazing for anyone on this planet, including him. The thought made him feel wistful, knowing that he’d never be good enough for them. Despite telling himself that everyday it didn’t make it any easier. He wanted them, no. He needed them in more than anything, so he started to make friends. Becoming closer to them everyday.

♡ At first this was enough, being able to get close and talk to them everyday maybe even get a hug every now and then. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. He could still remember how it felt to hug them for even a moment. Having their arms wrapped around him and his around them. He felt warm and at ease, holding them close was everything.

♡ He found himself needing more though. Their touch now gone left a sensation of wanting more. So he started stalking them. He’d often follow them to the store maybe talk to them like it was pure coincidence. Going into their room in the cover of darkness just to caress their cheek.

♡ This would go on for weeks, Junkrat hanging out with them during the day, and watching them at night. Whenever he saw them talking to someone else he felt jealousy flare up inside him and the person would always be reported dead the next day. He knew that they were far too perfect for anyone, he knew that no one deserved to have them. So when someone tried to take them, they’d die. It’s as simple as that.

♡ The day’s turned to weeks and before he knew it a few months had passed. Everything being the same till this day. Feeling a soft tap on his solder he turned only to be greeted with the lips of now lover. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss back, taking in his s/o.

Zarya:

♡ When she first saw them she didn’t think anything special, they looked small and week as if they could be crushed like a bug. She felt the need to help them become stronger. So she volunteered to train them, helping them become stronger.

♡ As she trained them she grew to see them as much more than what she first thought. They were strong, not wanting to give up and always trying to do better. No matter how tired out they were they never gave up. She began to admire that about them.

♡ The moment she realised that she had feelings for them she felt herself melt, her mind becoming clouded with thoughts of them. When helping them work out she’d most often find herself lost in her thoughts, thinking about confessing how she feels. That is till it hits her, she goes to get a drink only to come back and see someone flirting with the one she loves. She feels angry but keeps a calm exterior acting as if nothing is bothering her.

♡ That night she kills the one who chose to flirt with her crush, she says how they deserve so much better than anyone on this planet can offer. She upset, angry with herself knowing that she’s not good enough but then thinks. If she works harder and improves herself even more than maybe she’ll be good enough.

♡ She starts training even harder knowing that one day she can be good enough for her crush. Well training one day she didn’t expect to see her crush being harassed by a man. Going over to them she’d threaten and if they chose to not listen she’d deck them before telling them to run. Once the man has fled she’d make a mental note to find them later and finish them off. She’d ask her crush if their okay, only to be greeted with a pair of lips against her own. She’d hesitated before kissing back smiling knowing that she’s the only one good enough for her s/o.

McCree:

♡ McCree has always been the type to joke around but when it came to his crush he often just because a blubbering mess. Everytime he see them is like the first as he falls in love all over again. Eyes become fixated on them taking in every little detail. How their hair shines in the light to how they subconsciously tug their shirt when nervous.

♡ He knows that he’ll never have them, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want anyone else with them. Oh no no. He doesn’t want anyone to taint what’s so perfect. Good thing he knows how to hide a corpse.

♡ He loves everything about his crush, and has come to terms of not being able to have them. Though not being able to date them doesn’t stop him from crawling into his crushes bed and holding them in his arms as he watches their sleeping face.

♡ He knows everything about them, from their middle name to the toothpaste they use He can’t help but have them on his mind 24/7 and when their in the same room talking he’s completely lost in their eyes, ignoring all the words that leave their lips. It often results in him coming back to reality embarrassed that he had zoned out and then jokes about it. Only to have himself completely fixated on their laugh. It’s like music to his ears and the oxygen he needs to breath. He needs it.

♡ In a blissful moment is when it happened. A small kiss was placed upon his lips, he felt himself freeze but as his crush pulled away he reached down to grab their face, pulling them into a desperate kiss. Something he’s dreamed about since the day he met them. He held them close as if they’d disappear from existence if he let go.

#Anonymous #yanderewatch #yandere #mccree #Zarya #Junkrat #overwatch imagines

578 notes · View notes

neopuff · 7 years

Text

riverdale ep 1-3

these twins always make me >___>

oh yeah i knew jason was gonna die

this is very artsy

i thought he was murdered

tragedy

oh......a mom for veronica

what is a...chocolate shoppe? and why? does it sell? burgers?

is veronica the new kid

OH KEVIN

the gay kid gweiopubgoewgnew

the acting in this is terrible

the archie actor is clearly not a real ginger so i approve of this casting lmao

“to pass time i started composing poems in my head” shut up archie

archie: says anything betty: amazing!

lmao

betty: ive been thinking about us- archie: is that a hot bitch i see

“we do, both of us, together”

omg

GNOIWPEGWE BETTY’S FACE IS KILLING ME

awkward

oh....archies dad

thats not archies dad

archies dad got that fat gut

“im a sophomore’ BITCH NO UR NOT

SHES GOTTA BE LIKE 25 LMAAAOO whaaatt

im still dying theyre supposed to be 15 gwenpiubgewo;gwe

“gay, thank god, lets be best friends” im gonna piss and die

wow

love these pussycats

“ive had every flavor of boy except orange” its better that

waywiongubwepogn;wegew

ARCHIE AND GRUNDY IM DYING!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKINGGG DIIEEEE

GRUNDYINOGEW;EWL

im pissing im

DYING

shes the music teacher

why wouldnt they just make up a new teacherniogwepng;ew WHY IS SHE MS GRUNDY!!!

archies dad/veronicas mom have a....history

“chose the rich kid”

wow

so many divorced parents

outdoor cafeteria

when will i see a high school that has one of these forreal

i assume its a west coast or south us thing

kevin: refers to cheryl as a widow me: i called the JOKES

“is cheerleading still a thing?” “is being the gay best friend still a thing”

the dialogue in this show is terrible its so funny

im glad betty/ronnie is a good ship

grundy is all turned on by archies music

this is so gross and im DYING

“i dont think thats a good idea” cuz u fucked a 15 year old bitch

theyre not talking about the fucking

did cheryl murder her brother

why doesnt just one of them say it and not mention the other

bitch ur the only one who’d get in trouble ur an ADULT

that was so lackluster

wow

GNIWEUPGEW;OGWE

CHERYL’S FACEGNIEW;GEW

like yeah....not the kind of heat i meant :\

im glad cheryls the villain i always hated her

wow

veronica: i know who u are [has known her for 2 minutes]

this dialogue is so unnatural and bad its cracking me tf up

get WRECKED cheryl

veronica: betty and i come as a matching set

i bet u do

time for football

“what you got something better to do” dont be rude

awww

“why did you defend me” just accept the kindness u fool

man

i like mr lodge

this is very awkward

was polly a character in the comics i dont remember her

WOW

“both of us” gewinouogbewgew

im DYING

in the headspace

“archiekins” gweinouobgweo;ngew

wow

“cheryl blossoms cheerleading squad.......”

bettys mom is so annoying

she sounds familiar

mr lodge just sent a lotta money their way

why did the coach call his dad

he said hed give him a day

impatient ass

archies dad is just like :\

these actors dont look related at all

which is funny to me

oh good its the pill in ibiza song

omg

i love that veronica is the speech giver in this show

moose/kevin gwiuebogiwgew

where is REGGIE

my SON

wow

openly talking about the illegal secrets at a big party

i just realized reggie is the asian guy

i didnt hear his name and couldnt figure out who tf that was gweopiubgwe;ngwe

im a fool

whered ronnie go

dancing with the gay guy, god

“i have this fantasy of us as a power couple” who asks someone out like that

STOP STARING AT GRUNDY

this is super awkward

cheryl is gonna murder...everyone

they could just

chill

“cheryl blossom truly is...the antichrist” just all her a bitch like a normal person

“we’re not just friends we’re best friends” shut up archie

wOW

hes NEVER FELT for betty

if these two make out i s2g

once they kiss cheryls gonna open the door

foolish children

ronnie dont DO IT

foolish

sighs

boring

what how tf would she know they made out

did they not come out at exactly 7 minutes

ok but wheres betty

oh hey jughead

i like jugheads not-crown

now shes goin straight for love

“of course i love you” hes being so...obtuse

annoying

ok now its about not being good enough

sure

did they find jayjay

and look at that

he got shot in the head

probably by his sister

its obvious cheryl did it

im sure theyll switch it up like somehow it was secretly jughead

but it was cheryl

ok ep 2

fgewgw

why were they even fuckin at 6 am

cant believe they made moose gay

i forgot his gf’s name in the comicsniguwebgew

god

the actor that played jason was so uggo

GEWNIOG;EW SHARING A SHAKE WITH HIS TWIN SISTER!!!

maybe someone shot him for being so openly incestuous with his creepy sister

i know its like plagueing archie now but i feel like this should help him

“are you up?” “no” “youre killing your mother”

he went to grundys house

weird

and hes shirtless

“you could be expelled” “we could go to jail” NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM!!!

pedophilia is not a two way street

bettys mom is...the worst

betty plz dont talk to your bitch mother about your life

i love archies eyebrows

i hope this is the end of archie/betty forever

wow

“sardonic humor”

bye jughead

is kevin not out to his dad

“the yellows for friendship” sure

veronica is so aggressively into this friendship

YAYYY

the otp stays together

wow

betty u are a fool

that is your future WIFE

hi mr weatherbee

cheryl is wearing a spider pin gewoinubgewlngkew

CHERYL

archie and mr weatherbee just gonna

make eyes

jughead: archie you KILLED him

fewijohuog

HE THINKS ARCHIE DID IT

no jughead i was just fucking the hot prof

jughead: ew

fewiougobewgno;ewlgew

kevin moose is your new bf

“fate throws us together” ok

wow

why is he rejecting moose

because hes in the closet???

hes clearly trying to come out cmon

everyones terrified of cheryl now so thats good

bettys mom

“i ship it” why

“moose has an official girlfriend...mitch” i feel like i heard this line wrong

oh, betty

dont cry sweetums

“im supposed to say yes” THE DIALOGUE

ronnie is trying so hard with these dramatic white ppl

really

they couldnt even keep weatherbee fat

is this channel afraid of fat ppl

wow

does this bitch just sit in her empty ass music room all day

is she not really even a teacher

DONT TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

YALL ARE GROSS!!!!

disgusting

bitch get a dog and leave teenagers alone

WOW

WOW LMAAAAOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAA

JUGHEAD: WHAT!! GROSS!!! WTF!!!

this is not high school cheerleading

one of the girls here actually looks like a high schooler

cheryl just called herself exoticgewiongewiogew; CUZ YOURE A GINGER? BITCH

i die

betty why

wOW

betty dont do this

cheryls a crazy ho

i know theyll make up by the end of the ep but still

“like we were meant to be best friends” gweniguebwg

2nd grade tutor

gewinogubwegw

“oh, little archie-” little archiewgn;klew I DIE

references are what i live for

i cant believe betty let cheryl into her house

wheres her mom to scream and chase her out

welp

there goes that

betty dont let her into ur HOME

whats betty doing

“BEFORE I KILL YOU” BETTY

terrible thing to say

are they not friends because archie stood him up

cougarngiewgew

SHES A PEDOPHILE

awkward

i guess bettys mom coulda killed jason

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend” actually, always, not sometimes

oh reggies finally doin something

gonna keep up the reggie/jughead rivalry

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

“you wanna d the right thing” the way archie said that made it sound like he wants to fuck her and she doesnt want to

but whatever

so does jughead and bettys friendship not exist in this universe

nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions

wow

this dialogue is still awful its so funny

i hope it never improves purely for my amusement

out door pep rally...

[dances]

fewiulgbew

AHH HONEY HONEY

YOU ARE MY

CAAAANDY GIIIIIIRL

good shit

cheryls having a Time

god the kid that plays jason is so uggo

bye cheryl

finally getting a genuine emotional response from her

were they gonna fake his death for attention but then he was actually dead

yayyy

make up

veronica is over here like “betty and i were destined to be friends” and betty is like “im sure we wont know each other in a week”

aww archie and jughead back 2gedda

does jughead know betty or not

wheres the jughead/betty brotp of my past

veronica and jughead: interact me: yes...

im glad that, unlike in the comics, archie is not dating both girls at once and then also every other girl he meets

where ya goin weatherbee

wha

A CHALKBOARD LOL

i doubt a school like this would have a chalkboard instead of a smartboard

did she do it

gasp

im sticking with my fake death for the attention theory

OK LAST EP

im enjoying this show

but i dont think i could take multiple Dramatic Teen Shows

how could cheryl be wearing that skirt in public school

“the plan was bananas”

jason just wanted.....to leave

thats fine

who got shot

gwneio;glkwe

in my neighborhood it wouldve just been the hunters

is archie gonna have a shiner for the rest of the show

is betty not poor as shit in this universe?

i shouldve guessed from her moms outfits

“a lois lane type like you” nice and ronnie can be clark kent

omg leave grundy alone so she can die in hell

wha

why didnt you just say that you were alone

dog

a date....

hes hot

good call, ronnie

CHUCK CLAYTON

“hes kind of a player” dont be racist, betty

he is hot as hell tho

awww “juggie”

finally jughead and betty are 2gedda

jughead you need shit for your college applications

oh right, dilton

what

“im not ten years old” but you are 15 which is not very different

so if chuck is in the show is nancy gonna be around too

ronnie/chuck is a good ship

“to OUR relationship” shut the fuck you youre a pedophile

wow

the sticky maple....

wow

chuck was cute

ronnie is gonna tear him apart

man

why does chuck have to be a dick!!! chuck was always a nice guy

fewionpgnew

betty: [COVERS FACE]

destroy him

PUNCH HIM

why is chuck a villain im bothered but also hes the worst destroy him

this terrible au version of chuck is terrible

“nothing is off the table...except for my body” weiugblewnkg

i love the pussycats

is this every other girl chuck did this to

its ethel

hi cheryl

go away

lmao

whose this kid

wow

ok jughead

dont steal his ice cream

dilton shot a gun gwoinegbpweo;nglwe

survivalist?!?! DILTON

IM DYING

HES A TECHNOLOGY OBSESSED NERD

why do the pussycats roll their eyes at josie

“a bnd with b&v”

did they find...ze book

so the football players dont even fuck the girls its just about getting a date and a selfie???

cheryl, doubting her brother

what

just take the book

why not...just take the book

powerful

bettys rly lucky her mom isnt violent

(for now)

she looks super awkward in that

omg

the sound of bettys lil demons in her head

“and a hot tub....”

this is such an awkward conversation

just imagining this with real 15 year olds is ridiculous

oh hey ronnie

chuck youre so fucking stupid

shes wearing a swimsuit and heels this is CLEARLY A TRAP

GWENOIGO;NEW

BETTY

black is not a good hair color

ronnie: im so turned on

GEWNIOG;EWG

SLAP!!!!

i just realized why archies dad is so familiar

he was on generator rex AND clone high

love it

part of me always liked archie/josie

15 is not late wtf

“slut shaming...its what they call it when sluts get shamed” wow

when does bettys mom get murdered

are they gonna burn him

betty

LMAO

shes fine shes just pissed

awww

dads gonna support u now

must be NICE

gweoniugbweo;gew bettys face when ronnie said she called chuck “jason” was so funny

are they gonna do some she went off her meDS OO---OOOHHHA AAAHHH TERRIBLE BEAST

#burn it

cheryl tryin to make up for ze past

i still hate her idc

omg when does grundy get murdered too im done with this pedophilia subplot

STAY AWAY

FROM THE CHILD!!!

-___-

dilton you fool

im happy juggie and betty are hanging out

dont mention ms grundys car

YOU

FOOL!!!!

im tired of this pedophile plz shoot her next

ok im all caught up

whens the next episode

#riverdale #carro watches riverdale

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hayle64 · 6 years

Note

how many piercings and tattoos do you have ❤️

have you noticed we’ve been texting each other none stop since i left. wont front i didnt think you was into me much, i mean you hardly looked my way any time i would try to get close. punched lines i knew you were tired of from your energy. i was scribbling in my head on how to make you see i wasnt another infant with clocked in objectives that could never hook. unfamiliar lurking, i hope it was rude of me i ignore the girls you came with, i didnt even bother with a “hello” before i ask you for your name. remember you saying it, then me trying to pronounce which felt like a trigger pulling strike by the way eyes told me get it rite. i can tell your full of patience. im still missionary with just your first yet you continue sending me smiley faces. hopefully you dont take it wrong if i want your last something short and simple, think something like smith would sound nice unlike your horoscopes. not sure how long it took for you to realize i was here to do better. so much better that it makes your ex regret reasons deep in his arteries for the decisions that made you deicide its time to start leaving.. i felt you were gonna think i was strange when introducing myself by incomplete sentences like i wanna know you(finish sentence: i wanna know you, harassed the shorts youre nicely filling while you wear em). i know you saw my boys in the back watching, i was praying you wouldn’t take my confession as me playing with your company. maybe it was when i grabbed your hand to hold, and you look up at me and said what are you doing. “showing you im not planning on going anywhere if its rite, i mean alright by you”, crazy how those hands held each other the rest of that time. believed it killed a couple of men where ever they was standing. you continuing to look away from me, how i had to grab you chin to say look here before i take this to a place around you neck. i get it, i get it, you say you get shy, well your shyness was itching the scratch of nervousness in what to say to make you wanna see days after this. must admit i almost told your friend to mind some other business when i grabbed on your booty to bring you closer. almost told my friends not to stare at them hands started grabbing for as much as they can.. aye can i ask you a question, why is it you only smile hard when my hands are touching your body. i know they're cold but theyll start to warm over time like you with me.. OHHH SHIT WERE YOU ASKING QUESTION???????? go watch porn instead of talking to me. nigga i dont exist *flame emoji (fuck the typos)

0 notes

thebarbieblogzzz-blog · 5 years

Text

The Stepson, The 1st Economical Edit by Barbie H.

It was a cold day for a showdown. There are only two person climbing, Sarah Albertman, a highschool girl who people now just found out could climb rock very fast, and below her a 37- years old man , Michael Hancock-Pitt. Unlike Sarah, he’s been in the position of almost winning the huge jackpot of his life a few times. Even the crowds starting to lose faith in him, but looks like he is still in his best willing to finally get his #1 title. A series of body sweating and a tiger eye aiming for the prize is making as like the audience at home’s feeling the same tense as the real studio audience does . But The Television Broadcast seems to always highlight at the Duke of Kamperland whose sitting in the front row. It’s not everyday the royalty is dressed like a normal people.

They finally counting the 3,2,1... aaand .... the race is finished. The winner is immidiately announced, “And we got our winner... Contestant number 3001, Michael Hancock- Pitt!”. The crowd went wild and cheers. He gave them goosebumps by his last minute surprise. He held his trophy while being really red, it’s actually quite surprise him that this is it. Just when he’s getting used to be always an almost wining, he just won. “Finally after 4 times competing with us, Hancock- pitt wins the GOLDEN trophy , with such a fantastic ending!” He gave his best smile, while he finally understand that sweat does smells really good, like a cologne, but even better. Now he’s thinking to launch a perfume called a sweat of victory. After the screentime spotlight he get backstage to his team for another celebratory. They all been standing there with a smile. The coach gave a “I’m proud I’m your coach” smile, his sponsor, Mr. Benrie makes the “There goes the run for my money , I’m gonna get a huge profit” smiles, and his manager, where his smile is “All these times believing in you does paid off” smile. After that 3 seconds of smile, “The congratulations” “You were great” and “Tough game” were leaking off from their mouth like a river. Before he finally suffocate himself from all the sweet sayings, his manager told him to go ahead and makes himself fresh again , lead him to the vip room that is left neat for him, and enjoys his win more there. And on his way, he sees his competitor, Albertman, whose chocking herself a full bottle of water and wipe off her sweat. She finally notices him in the room but said nothing.

“Impressive game out there” the man speaks up.

“Yeah..” she replies then continues, “And congratulations for your winning, Mr. Pitt”.

“I just wanna say, you’re the best first- timer I’ve ever seen, keep it up, one day, you might win it- I believe this”

“Thank You” she just smiles.

And then he just go out of scene and walk to his vip room, it is almost like his own dressing room at home, “Thats what you get for being a pro athlete” his manager ever said once.

While Sarah, after had her shower in the common room, she rush herself to go see her Coach Ari, she knows she supposed to met her right after the game, but she is too worked up to hear her pushing words. She knows she did great, but her coach might not think so. She mets her in the big arena cafe. She just sits down while Coach Ari is having eat fast a giant sandwich. Sarah just squeeze herself in front of her.

“Oh, it’s you”

“I just go to locker room and take a shower”

“Of course, do you want a sandwich?”

“No thanks coach...I’m not hungry”

“Please have a sandwich, it was a tough game” she already bought her a sandwich, and she knows it will create a scene if she will not simply take it.

“Thanks Coach”

“Yeah sure, why dont you eat it”

Sarah just eats the sandwich.

“Is it good ?”

“Yeah” Sarah just pretends she digs it.

“Great” The coach continues the sandwich like 3 bites down and the sandwich’s finished. She slurps her giant slurpee, and makes an “Ah “ sound. Then it was Sarah trying to finish the sandwich. She waits her to finish it. Without saying anything. Once she finished the sandwich, she knew the moment of calm will end.

“You know what is closer than you getting out that trophy?” the coach just speaks up. Sarah just shut up and wait what kind of news she will hear this time. “You being kick out and left on the street thats how closer it is”

“But I...” Sarah try to defend herself that she already did give her best but the coach shut her up.

“I! İn my own hands, like always, convince them to believe in you- that you had the potential and the one that should be trusted- the one they should choose for the game- and an important mission like this. “ She continues, “The founder has been funding every penny for you to raise to be this big and all they wanted was that trophy”

“Well you know how close I am from winning- I believe I can get a chance of the win next year”

“Oh You know there won’t be no next year- “

“You mean becuz I lost this, you just kick me out?”

“Well, we’ll see... “

“Alright... “ Sarah just try to go. She knows she didnt be needed anymore.

“Hey, where you goin? Sit back down”

“Why ? The company dont need me anymore”

“I havent finished the conversation”

“Should i really listen to the end of this?”

“You have given a second chance to redeem yourself”

“Redeem myself?”

“As you see, the company doesnt care much about the shining metal than the ton advantages you gonna get if you win- youre gonna be the kingdom’s pet athlete- do you realyze how much advantages you have when you win that metal? The metal itself doesnt mean shit compare to other benefits. When you win the trophy the kingdom will pay for your bills untill you old n wringkley”

“I understand...”

“But they dont actually care for the advantages itself rather than entering the rire gates. Since you can suck the peoples on the kingdom- what they want you to do now is to get in- theyll take care the rest”

“Get in the party you mean? But, i am not invited... 2nd place winner is not invited”

“then find a way to get in!” the coach is scream at her, but in an uncontrolable value so people wont hear them,

“Here’s an idea i got for you, the first winner, they can bring one partner as a guests, there goes your chance”

“Do you mean i should go with mr. Pitt? Why would he wanna take me? ”

“Well you can goes with the second idea too, Break and entering. But if you suppose to get caught, i give you the reality of this, The company wont risk their name.”

“Yeah i got it”

She just lay down in her bed in the funded apartment. She just missed her 7 pm routine, going to the Gym , she felt today she deserves a break. She just cant help to think how she will get the ticket to get in that ceremony, and how the hell could she sees mr. Hancock- Pitt again its impossible that he want to take his competitior to the Awards, well unless hes nut enough to do that. “How the hell did i get that invitation?” Sarah just mumble to herself. She knows, first thing first she got to find the way in how to meet Mr. H- Pitt firsts. But she doesnt even know where he lives! Oh yeah, she can ask her friend, Myriad, she is one of the backstage planner for the competition.

“Do You know where he lives?”

“Of course not... even if i know i can gve that out its private information”

“Im really desperate to find his adress”

“Waht you gonna do? Kick his ass for beatingyou? Hes wayyy too strong for you to do that”

“Of course not- are you crazy”

“Then, why?”

“Well, I just... oh, do you know if he might be attending an after party or something?”

“Sure- of course, there’s an afterparty just tonight, and im pretty sure youre invited, why you dont come?”

“Oh my godd!!! İm so stupid!!! How the hell did I didnt get the invitation?”

“Well, you shoulda now that it was common knowledge, and im pretty sure they announce that... “ “Okay, no time , i gotta rush!” Sarah just get to her closet.

“Oh m g! İ dont have any good dress... everything in my closet is all sporty clotches, how the hell can i go to a party?” and then she remember she have that one dress, that her mom give to her, it still fits, but its just so simple and a lil bit like old dated, but she doesnt have a choice. She had to get herself to the afterparty. The party is already starting like 2 hours ago... but thank god it still on... The guards were asking her ID

“Im sarah Albertman, im one of the contestant for RCC?”

“Oh.. sarah, sure, come in, youre late”

“I know...” so sarah just gets in and people has been checking her Old dress and some of em is just laugh at her, but she dont care. She needs to find the winner of the game of this year. Just before she think it will be tough to find him, She just saw him. And now she startruck how the hell was her plan, now after he find him? This is bullshit! Now she just hold back a little bit, she dont know what to do now. What will she do ? just ask him straight away? Of course it cant be that easy! . Just before she had to take the first step. Mr. Hancock pitt already notice her.

“Oh, Sarah!” she just shocked but she just smiles.

“Hello... i thought u never came” She still dont know what to say.

“Wow ! your dress is...” he still figure out the word to say something polite about her dress . She knew the dress was awful.

“Thank you” she just decided to help him out with that polite word- finding.

“Congratuliaons, again, Mr. Pitt, on your winning- you were really great. İ cant say how delighted i was to be competing with a pro like you” she hoped for him doesnt smell her kissing ass-ness, but she actually part genuine about that.

“Thanks. Youre a fair player” he smiles.

“Would you like some toase?” he ask her.

“Well.. i dont drink”

“I get it“ But he just called the waiter to go on his way

“One martini, and one cranberry juice please”

“I’ll have a toase, for a tough teenager that almost beat my ass up and not getting the first place for the first time, for sarah!”

Some crowd giggle with the speach and all the crowds goes, “for sarah!”

Sarah hides her nervousness with a smile and drinks her cranberry juice.

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papaxswamp · 5 years

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have you noticed we’ve been texting each other none stop since i left. wont front i didnt think you was into me much, i mean you hardly looked my way any time i would try to get close. punched lines i knew you were tired of from your energy. i was scribbling in my head on how to make you see i wasnt another infant with clocked in objectives that could never hook. unfamiliar lurking, i hope it was rude of me i ignore the girls you came with, i didnt even bother with a “hello” before i ask you for your name. remember you saying it, then me trying to pronounce which felt like a trigger pulling strike by the way eyes told me get it rite. i can tell your full of patience. im still missionary with just your first yet you continue sending me smiley faces. hopefully you dont take it wrong if i want your last something short and simple, think something like smith would sound nice unlike your horoscopes. not sure how long it took for you to realize i was here to do better. so much better that it makes your ex regret reasons deep in his arteries for the decisions that made you deicide its time to start leaving.. i felt you were gonna think i was strange when introducing myself by incomplete sentences like i wanna know you(finish sentence: i wanna know you, harassed the shorts youre nicely filling while you wear em). i know you saw my boys in the back watching, i was praying you wouldn’t take my confession as me playing with your company. maybe it was when i grabbed your hand to hold, and you look up at me and said what are you doing. “showing you im not planning on going anywhere if its rite, i mean alright by you”, crazy how those hands held each other the rest of that time. believed it killed a couple of men where ever they was standing. you continuing to look away from me, how i had to grab you chin to say look here before i take this to a place around you neck. i get it, i get it, you say you get shy, well your shyness was itching the scratch of nervousness in what to say to make you wanna see days after this. must admit i almost told your friend to mind some other business when i grabbed on your booty to bring you closer. almost told my friends not to stare at them hands started grabbing for as much as they can.. aye can i ask you a question, why is it you only smile hard when my hands are touching your body. i know they’re cold but theyll start to warm over time like you with me..

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kkoehn17 · 5 years

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Last week I released my list of goals for 2019, but before I can truly dive into those new ones, let’s see how I did on my goals for 2018.

1) Do a handstand

COMPLETED

While I can’t say I can walk to work in full handstand while carrying my purse with my feet, I have come SO FAR from the beginning of the year.

2) Take a kickboxing class

COMPLETED

Guys. Seriously, take a kickboxing class. I mean, I figured I’d like it. Love it, even. But I didn’t realize it would be therapeutic. I genuinely worked through some things while I was punching and kicking that damn bag. So it’s safe to say that I will definitely make my way back to some classes in 2019.

3) Visit (at least) 20 museums in Los Angeles

WILL CONTINUE IN 2019

I only ended up making it to 8 museums this year, which is a bummer, but not that surprising when I look back at how busy my 2018 was. Instead of just letting it go however, I decided to make finishing this goal one of my goals for 2019. Hopefully this year I’ll find some more spare weekends to get out and see some ‘seums.

4) Get CPR certified

COMPLETED

That’s right, folks! According to the certificate that was emailed to me by the Red Cross, I am officially CPR and First Aid certified! I can officially save your life (if you’re having a minor crisis that was covered by the training)!!

If you’re interested in getting certified, you can find more information here.

5) Shoot (at least) 1 roll of film per month

(ESSENTIALLY) COMPLETED

I fell off a little at the end, but I shot 13 total rolls of film this year so I’m calling it good. I absolutely love that I set this goal and the pictures turned out SO COOL. Here are a few of my favorites:

6) Complete the 104 things to Photograph book

NOT QUITE

Yeahhhhhh. I just didn’t get around to this one, to be honest. I thought it would tie in really well with my film goal, but I just didn’t put in the effort to take pictures that corresponded to the prompts in the book. As of now, I could probably fill half of it, and while I will continue to fill it, I just couldn’t do it in one year.

7) Visit the sea glass beach in Fort Bragg, CA

FULLY PLANNED

I have worked out all the details needed to take this trip, and my roommates and I have thrown out potential dates. So while we didn’t take this trip in 2018, I think we will definitely make time for it in 2019.

8) Go to the dentist

COMPLETED

Yes, I went to the dentist. No, it was not fun.

9) Watch 20 documentaries

COMPLETED

This was another goal that I loved more than I thought I would. There are SO MANY documentaries out there that cover SO MANY different topics. And since I’m already someone that loves dropping fun facts, watching these documentaries this year gave me more material than I knew what to do with!

If you’re interested, these are the ones that I watched. I put my favorites in bold!

Happy (Netflix)

The Mortified Guide (Netflix)

The Mortified Sessions (Netflix)

Minimalism (Netflix)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (Amazon)

Three Identical Strangers (Amazon)

Amanda Knox (Netflix)

Icarus (Netflix)

Evil Genius (Netflix)

The White Helmets (Netflix)

Tiny Shoulders (Hulu)

Conor McGregor: Notorious (Netflix)

The Mind of Jake Paul (YouTube)

Zion (Netflix)

Seeing Allred (Netflix)

Ballet Now (Hulu)

Becoming Bond (Hulu)

The Barkley Marathons (Amazon)

Blue Planet 2 (Netflix)

Batman & Bill (Hulu)

10) Perfect an omelet

DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO ANYMORE?

Yeah, I don’t really know what to say about this one. I mean, I had every intention of learning to make an omelette and I constantly mentioned buying a new pan that would help me do so, but then I just kind of…didn’t want an omelet? I don’t know. I guess I was really craving them in 2017, craving them enough to make perfecting them a goal for 2018, but here in 2019, I just want hard boiled eggs in my lunch box and fried eggs on my burgers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11) See (at least) one movie in theaters per month

ONLY MISSED DECEMBER

Similar to the film goal, I did fall short at the end on this one, but I think I more than made up for it the rest of the year.

Here are all the movies I saw in theaters this year. And again, my favorites are in bold! 🙂

I, Tonya

Call Me By Your Name

Maze Runner: The Death Cure

50 Shades Freed

Red Sparrow

I Can Only Imagine

A Quiet Place

Book Club

Incredibles 2

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

Three Identical Strangers

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again

Eighth Grade

Skate Kitchen

Crazy Rich Asians

A Star is Born

Bohemian Rhapsody

12) Read 20 books off the Time’s 100 List

COMPLETED

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it one thousand times: AUDIOBOOKS. They are the only reason I made it through this goal, and since finishing Time’s list is on my 30 Before 30 list, I’m sure they’ll be the driving force behind completing that as well. #teamaudiobooks

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Dear God, it’s Me Margaret

On the Road

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Lord of the Flies

To the Lighthouse

The Day of the Locust

The Great Gatsby

To Kill a Mockingbird

Never Let Me Go

Revolutionary Road

The Painted Bird

Red Harvest

The Big Sleep

Mrs. Dalloway

The Moviegoer

Housekeeping

A Clockwork Orange

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold

1984

13) Pay off credit card

MAKING PROGRESS

About halfway through the year I had to pull the plug on this one because I just didn’t have the resources to continue, but I’ve since got back on track and am making progress slowly but surely!

14) See 3 WRLA’s

COMPLETED

While on a trip to Seattle and Canada in March, I was able to complete this goal, seeing the World’s Largest Cowboy Hat & Boots in Seattle, WA, the World’s Largest Paper Airplane in Mukilteo, WA, and the World’s Largest Tin Solider in New Westminster, BC, Canada!

15) Volunteer (at least) 5 times

COMPLETED

After what seemed like a promising start, I once again found myself scrambling a little bit at the end. I did get my five slots in, but it wasn’t without a little sweat and frantic planning. The main charities I volunteered for this year were Food Forward and Children’s Hunger Fund. Check them out!

16) Donate Blood

COMPLETED

Yes, I did it! Was it my favorite thing ever? No. But will I do it again because it’s an easy way to help out? Definitely!

Find out more about donating blood here.

17) Do the 1 second/day video challenge

COMPLETED!

This was probably the most stressful goal for me because I was constantly having to remember to film a second for each day, but I genuinely love how it turned out. Shout out to everyone in the video! You are all reasons why this video/year turned out great because you were part of some of my favorite moments of 2018 🙂

youtube

Overall, I’d say this was a very successful year! It was a little crazy, a little blurry, and a little bit overwhelming, but I’m very thankful for all that it had to offer.

Now we’re off into the mysterious world of 2019!

I hope it treats you well and that you feel inspired to go for it! Whatever it may be for you. ❤

You can read more about the goals I set for 2019 here.

And if you’re looking for inspiration on goals you should set this year, check out this post!

2018 Goals Final Wrap Up Last week I released my list of goals for 2019, but before I can truly dive into those new ones, let's see how I did on my goals for 2018.

#blogging #fun #goals #goals for 2018 #Goals I&039;ve Set #inspiration #journal #life #motivation #new years resolutions #personal

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survivorelsalvador · 7 years

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EPISODE 7 - I Love Our Tribe And Don’t Want Anyone Out - Regan

(If a confessional is just a gif or a picture then it was most likely Veronica, winner of Jeju Island, uwu <3)

LILY

Well. My plans to take out queen Dana have failed. Luckily she still trusts me and kai. So I'm in a good spot. I trust Richie the most and hope we can make it far. But honestly I feel like I have no real alliances so I could be in trouble too. I wish that my immunity win wouldn't have been wasted on someone being med evacted. I wanted to make a damn big move! Haha oh well, I guess there is always next time. But I suck at trivia. Soooo it will probably be sooner rather than later. Wish me luck....

ZAKRIAH

brooke has always been better than flick idk why she gets so much slander flick is fucking stupid

KAI

AHHHHH WILLA WENT SO NO MORE STRONG MAJORITY ALLIANCE. *sad face*

ASHTON

*Talks shit about rob or whatever*

LILY

Sorta nervous that Dana will stop trusting me based off of my FTC speech in Bahamas. I hope this isn't the case but I'm a tad worried. Also I still feel like I have no real allies and I ain't gonna get 7th. Your girl really needs 7th or an FTC shortly or I'm gonna lose it. Hopefully we make merge after this vote but I have a feeling we will have one more immunity.

AUSTIN

Almost had a mental breakdown and quit because y'all think you're XD comical roflcopter funny!!!!!!!!! But you're not

DANA

"Heylo

1) Ashton and Richie are targeting me. Why? Probably because I never talked to them. This is 100% my fault. Oops. Glad we don't have to go to tribal this round because I literally sold my soul to the trivia challenge/

2) I'm trying to work with Lily and Kai in this game...after voting them both out of another game VERY recently... bad strategy? Definitely. Just bring me back to Willow and Zak.

3) I'm 99% sure the idol clues are leading me to something that has to do with... JLo. Honestly, wouldn't be shocked if I'm right, this seems like something Rob MIGHT do. If I'm wrong? This is going to be a VERY embarrassing confessional to read at the end of this game. If I'm right? We'll then things could be looking up for me! "

RICHIE

"awkward i loved for dana and she's still here because willa got another strike so i still havent talked to her or addressed the fact that she def knows i voted for her bc i completely ignored her before tribal because im a flop lmao.... i was going to throw the immunity so we could just vote her out again this time but then with the resistance that austin gave last round against voting dana + lily told me that dana/kai/austin/lily started an alliance before the last vote i didn't want to risk it so we won and yay i guess??? i need to step up my social game or like just talk to anyone because i'm sucking big time i can see myself being an early merge boot with the fact people might think im a challenge threat and my lack of connections.....

on another night im conflicted because when i found the idol it was with the help of chips i had asked him about the clues he got earlier in the game and i was talking with him bouncing ideas off eachother to try and figure it out and when i found the idol i said something so now he knows i have it which is fine because i trust him but im dumb i should have just kept my mouth shut and kept the idol for myself bc im going to need it going into the merge but i asked chips if hes getting voted out and he said no one on his tribe is talking to him so now i might give him the idol................. but if i give it to him and he doesnt play it and doesnt give it back i'll be pissed and if i give it to him and he uses it and he's not getting votes im going to be pissed... so the chances of me being pissed are like 66%??? idk im not good at math but its chips so ill do it for him if i think it will save him so that i go into merge with one good ally "

NICHOLAS

hi hey hello so i still don't really know what im doing so lets hope i dont go home ; - ;

JOSH

https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/gremlins/images/f/fa/Gizmo.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20090920192843

WILLOW

I wanna vote out chips bc he doesn't talk a lot

REGAN

This round was hard because we have to vote Chips out, he knows hes going (might have an idol? says he doesnt). its just I love our tribe and don't want anyone out. I love willow but honestly Id rather have her out than Chips at this point because I adore chips. But I might as well go with my alliance or theyll get mad so.

CHIPS

"It has been a long time coming me making a confessional for this season.

I want to thank you hosts again for being so gracious giving me time to get settled in my new state and living quarters and being flexible with your requirements. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to give you my thoughts, honestly.

In summary of my experience so far - I don't remember much from the first tribe as I think we were only there for one round and then got swapped. If that is not the case it must have been at a time where I was barely on the computer.

We got swapped and I was the first picked in a schoolyard pick by Lily who's this really sweet person who really wanted to work with me in another side season that I was playing in!

Our tribe didn't have tribal and did really well and then we got randomly swapped again (I think it has something to do with the number of quitters?)

Anyway, that initial tribe did well in challenges and got clues and then Richie asked to see the old clues that I had gotten at other times and he deduced where to find the idol and he found it. And so that's cool...

When we got swapped the second time I got swapped onto a tribe where I had not been on a tribe with anyone else and it was a double tribal with individual immunity. I knew I had to win because of everyone I'd be the easiest vote since there'd be no previous connection.

I was immune and then this person named Bulgaria left instead. Anyway, then we had to do some trivia which was pretty fun until I got busy the next day and missed nearly every post of a question - our tribe lost and I was shocked to find that the hosts didn't even do that basic thing where you can give up all the points to force a tribe to go to tribal for an advantage that has become popular recently.

Anyway, our tribe is going to tribal so I message everyone to ask them about the vote and stuff and no one gets back to me except for Regan. Regan just wants me to give her a name so I tell her Zakriah because he was the last person of this group to accept my contact request having done so just at the end of the last tribal council.

Anyway, eventually Nicholas messages me to tell me that he thinks there's an alliance of Regan/Zak/Willow/Josh because they were all on that tribe together and that they are going to be voting between either me or him.

Richie messages me and asks if I think that I'm maybe going. I tell him that no one is really talking to me and tell him that Nicholas told me about that ""maybe"" alliance and he says he'll find out if he can send me his idol. Richie sends me the idol and tells me that I can play it to stay safe since no one is talking to me, but if it's not the majority vote he's going to be mad at me.

Well, I can't guarantee if this group of people isn't all self-voting since no one is talking to me so I am going to play it and vote for Josh instead of Zakriah. I figure that a random vote for another person if the rest are voting the other way will at least shake up some suspicion if there is a group as to who cast it.

Gosh! I really hope this isn't just a really inactive tribe and that there really is some secret plot against me. If not, these players all need to be medically evacuated as soon as possible, because trying to speak to them is worse than Mattie from Atomic Survivor Death Valley."

"[7:24:00 PM] Regan: what do we do [7:24:00 PM] Regan: I [7:24:37 PM] Chips: I... don't know tbh. [7:24:52 PM] Regan: I feel bad either way [7:24:54 PM] Chips: I mean, I voted Josh so I kinda wanted to stick with it. But then like... I dunno. :/ [7:24:54 PM] Regan: who flips in a merge [7:24:55 PM] Regan: honestly [7:24:59 PM] Chips: Me. [7:25:02 PM] Chips: I flip in a merge honestly. [7:25:16 PM] Chips: Like.. you really think I'm not going to. [7:25:17 PM] Regan: UR FLIPPING [7:25:18 PM] Chips: >.> [7:25:22 PM] Regan: well fuck [7:25:24 PM] Chips: When EVERYONE VOTES FOR ME TO LEAVE

Um... I?"

REGAN

THIS IS THE MOST STRESSFUL TRIBAL OF MY LIFE. BETWEEN ZAKRIAH AND JOSH AND I CANT VOTE OUT EITHER. BECAUSE THEYRE MY FAVES. AND LIKE ITS NOT EVEN FAIR TO ME.

#ididntconsent

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