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#i have to have a reason to interact with people irl or its just me being in their way
ironunderstands · 3 days
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Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship 
(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)
I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH
Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.
I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.
GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA
Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.
Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).
Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.
No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.
Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.
On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.
Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.
Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself. 
Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are. 
And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.
And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.
Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.
So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable). 
However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.
Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.
Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless. 
Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.
In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that. 
Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan. 
As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful. 
Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years. 
But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.
The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on. 
But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal. 
God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible 
I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.
Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him. 
And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl. 
It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.
Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another. 
AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 
They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.
I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE. 
The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.
Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)
“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”
Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.
Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.
a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.
THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.
Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.
Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped. 
So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.
b) The betrayal plan 
Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe). 
Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along. 
So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)
Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability. 
Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.
Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?
Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur  pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then. 
All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two. 
“The shippers are all weird and racist” 
Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.
HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭
And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.
Like please I’m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith. 
?????
Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.
“They’re so sibling coded!”
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Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. 
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bloodyke · 4 months
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idk im just generally very pissed off that most people in my life dismiss and ignore my disabilities even when i bring it up like i do struggle every day and its frustrating that im only taken seriously when i reach my breaking point and start sobbing in front of them
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shrimp1y · 2 years
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sorry to the few ppl on my dash I am not spam liking on ur blog ur just the only ones on my dash
#krill livestream#and i like. stuff. when i like them. bc im like Hehehehe I will use this button as i9ntended#my autism knows no bound i wish I was funny and charismatic online but no. i am just as strange as irl. its also bc ive decided to unmask#more so I'm not like. Forcibly overthinking my reactions and talkin anymore. so what if I just talk to myself in tags most of the time.#makes me happy when people see it and give me a little like (button used as intended)#like i definitely have a reason for mumbling to myself in public instead of journalling its bc i do wanna be seen and i do want to interact#i am just. like this. its better than when i used to argue with people on the internet for social interactions#basically i just. dont try too hard to micromanage social interactions anymore. this means i might end up saying stupid impolite shit or#do a lot of social faux pas but i hope. nice people understand. like im not gonna be rude on purpose im not trying to be flippant#like as much as nd folks thrive online even within nd circles there are so many social cues and rules that can be unfamiliar#ngl i have many times deleted a reblog with long ass tags bc i was like wait what if im overstepping. but i dont reblog it#bc im like well. feels untrue if i reblog without thoughts when i do have thoughts#nothin against op or anyone im just. i . im like I do Like It but yknow better to keep my tags to myself#bc sometimes they are terrible mind you like i fully agree if you see smth ignorant come outta my mouth and ur like hey.#keep that to urself. id be like banger thanks sorry filter doesnt work
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mortysmith · 1 year
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i have got to stop posting on twitter like seriously
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rubberbandballqueen · 2 years
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i remember when i joined this site staff was one of the default blogs you followed (and probably the first blog i ever unfollowed a while later lol), but now that tumblr management has become, like, a force of good and all, it’s actually really interesting to follow their wip/changes blogs bc it truly feels like the vision they have for tumblr is, at its heart, community-oriented and personable.
and it’s nice!!!! it’s cozy!!!!!! everyone’s been saying it for ages as of late, but it feels! like!! a home!!!!
#the fact that we can TALK WITH THE STAFF and they will LISTEN AND RESPOND TO US is still so BEWILDERING to me!!!#i wasn't on the internet in the age of forums stuff like facebook and youtube where it feels like watching other people hang out#--instead of communally chilling online together-- is what i'm used to imagining when it comes to 'social media' and whatnot#we wrote essays in high school for the state and/or district abt how 'modern social media' makes teens feel isolated and whatnot#like the sources they gave for us to read and use were mostly just data-based and didn't really talk abt reasons why#and frankly i feel like we were too young to realize that online communities at one point could feel similarly homey to irl ones#like maybe a few of my friends hung out in forums and whatnot when we were in elementary/middle school#but mostly i remember the way online interaction was focused on places like facebook and stuff by the time i started participating online#which was admittedly later than my peers. i suspect there's at least one of my former classmates who hung out in forums#but i have no idea what he's up to these days and i imagine he's remade his online identity at least a few times by now#i looked up his old online name; it went inactive like 8 years ago which sounds about right! i was also right he was active in mc forums#i'm not gonna put in the effort to track him down that's pointless since after middle school we were footnotes in each others' lives#but yeah everything about this site feels so human and organic. like we the userbase made this site what it is with our own hands#n i'm so in love with that. how can i not be? it feels personal and deliberate. it might not be love put into this site all the time#but there's SOMETHING very human being pissed straight into its electronic veins and i love that as it is#the worm speaks
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235uranium · 2 months
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all of science will alter your perspective and even unsettle you but physics has a tendency to take every reasonable assumption you make and mutilate it
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nexus-nebulae · 2 months
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does anyone else get like. ghost notifications. where it says you have one but then nothing new is there when you check. does anyone know what those are
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readymades2002 · 7 months
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i still think that pronouns being a...somewhat common expected mode of introducing yourself is strange 😭 the purpose that makes sense to me in doing that is mostly to signal that you're trans or otherwise affiliated (which...i know that "allies" doing things like this or calling people their partner or whatever is meant to create a space where people feel comfortable coming out, but as i still cannot bring myself to come out in such situations and as i've had Really Bad Experiences with people claiming to be allies i haven't internalized this as a purpose that makes sense yet), but i know that it is also genuinely supposed to be like. "here's how you should talk about me if you want to mention me to a third person!" which is something that makes me REEL to think about. there is no universe where i want to introduce myself to someone by telling them how to correctly and incorrectly talk about me to someone else!! i don't understand...
#i do understand its just that i guess my experience with gender is strange#i know that these things have a purpose but i am really averse to thinking about it#it feels like...branding in a weird way. tell your friends about this channel and subscribe if you want to see more#i dont feel like gender plays that kind of linguistic role in how i talk to other people? im sure it does on a deeper level#(talking to men does make me nervous even if i don't comprehend gender in the expected way)#but its. hrm. i dont know. i know (OBVIOUSLY!)(I AM TRANS) that gender is important to people#but i also dont...need to know to navigate convrsations?#i probably do. i just dont consider the kind of small talk that comprises most interactions irl to be conversations necessarily?#its...kind of a problem 😭 i dont think of the way i talk and move and emote as part of what makes me me#and i am so so so bored by most 'necessary' conversations that it makes my teeth hurt and i dont know how to deal with that...#part of the problem may just be im not approaching real life with a pragmatic approach to communicating...?#im not...hm. i am a very private person irl (which im sure is a surprise if you read this page)#i am very opinionated and passionate but i don't express this much in the flesh. lots of reasons#(often seen as an outsider)(denied opportunities to define myself)(put on display for others a lot)(punished for argumentative behavior)#so maybe i am not present enough in most banal conversations to understand the point of them...#maybe i would understand introduction with pronouns if i wasn't invested in staying closeted or scared or anything#'the ocean still looks grey to me' as they say#this didnt go where i wanted it to </3 anyway
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munch-mumbles · 11 months
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o<-<
#feeeeeeling sorry for myself#my energy to create is so low#ive been in a looong term art block and i have ups and downs but overall its Hard#i just cant find the energy/excitement to actually make my mental images real#i can barely even make myself color things let alone anything even higher effort#i WANT to but i also dont want to#so my accounts become boring and uninteresting because 99% of my ideas go unspoken atp#and what i do post is. boring and uninteresting. just basic poses boring interactions#i feel like a more and more boring person the more i think about it#there is a very small pool of people who care about me and im so passive that no one else even sees me#irl i basically only talk to me roommate and coworkers#neither of which do i have a super close relationship with#my roommates great but we dont talk that often#even online my social circle is small and the amount of people i consider close friends even pathetically smaller#and i dont know how to make new friends anymore because of aforementioned invisible person reasons#im just boring and i dont have the energy to be interesting#sighs. i need a boyfriend#but im also horrendous at maintaining relationships because ive killed my own social battery by isolating so hardcore#sought solitude growing up now cursed by loneliness yadda yadda#i dont even talk to my own family anymore for weeks at a time#in that case its better that way but it makes me lonelier. i cried in bed a couple nights ago thinking about how i cant even#cry my feelings out to my mom and have her comfort me anymore#i lost the people i used to have for that and im too nervous about being overbearing to find new people#these tags are getting long lol. im not like super upset right now im just thinking about it#it makes me sad that i dont know how to do anything about my current life path (ie spending the rest of my life alone and unseen like this)#also the reason i keep making these obnoxious vent posts here is exactly because i dont have other people im comfy talking about it too#not that theres people i dont TRUST talking to. i just dont want to put that pressure on them and i feel better not asking and i hope that#these posts dont make those friends feel like they need to come ask#so maybe like. 5 people might skim over these and catch a couple of my thoughts and at least i know it was perceived by SOMEONE even if#only passively
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evilpuppyboy · 1 year
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What if yall gave me advice ok
#so i have this internet fwb. but its like. sort of deeper than that. there is a level of intimacy that makes our interactions more intense#i dont really need to elaborate but the point is we have put a lot of trust in each other. not just in spicy circumstances. i feel like#i can be myself. like. they understand a lot of what im going through. instead of seeing some of the things i do like infodumping or stimmin#or ticcing or having narcolepsy like they dont see those things as flaws or things that are like. tolerable and overlookable#they see what i deal with and like. cherish it. they dont like. point it out or ever make light of it. like i feel like i dont have to mask#or repress stims and tics around them. and also they have always been incredibly respectful of my gender always. i am lucky enough to have#supportive people in my life but like. they actually understand and they dont make an effort to see me as a boy. they just do naturally.#i am built very feminine and they have seen me in full and unwaveringly refered to me as a boy and a man. they call me manly which makes me#wanna happy cry bcs i gave up on the concept of being manly a long time ago. and its not like they are saying that bcs i like hearing it.#its like. their genuine thoughts. anyways. all this to say i like and trust and respect this person a lot. but like. i aint gonna see them#like ever. but when i think of finding a partner out in the real world i just dont feel it? i kinda wanna be with them just a little bit.#like they are good to me in a way that feels improbable to find. and when i think of like. what i would like from a partner like physical#affection i just think of them. but like i cant even physical affection them so like. what the fuck.#and i know they probably have bithes to various degrees. like. they have ppl they cuddle with and ppl they seem spicy with. and im cool with#that. because its reasonable and quite frankly i do not feel strong jealousy like i have in past relationships. i feel content. but i also#feel like i should be looking for someone irl to fulfill my desire for bf anf bf things.#basically im worried i caught feelings for someone i probably will never be with. idk to what level bcs again its like. complicated or whtv#but like. is letting my contentness in this relationship keep me from feeling the need to actively seek partners is it a problem?#or is this a sign that i should like. just coexist? i defo feel lonely in that way. but again i dont feel as much of an active drive what do#yall think#bruh i like them. ngl being w someone whom is not cis and has the autism traits like i do is sorta next level shit tbh
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starillusion13 · 7 months
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KEEP IT A SECRET
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Pairing: stepbrothers! Jeno and Jaemin x f!reader
W.C: 13k (I want them please)
Genre: SMUT, YANDERE, STEP-CEST
Warnings: possessive behavior, restraining hint, manhandling(?), pervert!nomin, dom!nomin, biting, tiny bit of blood, sucking, crying, a bit of pain during it, nipple play, clit and tit stimulation, oral( f. Rec), lot of lot of overstimulation( 😉), double penetration, praising and name calling, raw penetration( don’t do irl guyz💀)
Network: @k-vanity @cultofdionysusnet
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!
MINORS LETS BE INNOCENT AND NOT INTERACT! Okay?🔞
*under the cue*
Stepbrothers are same as brothers, Right? Just you need to maintain a step away from them from being too close to them if you somehow feel uncomfortable or unwanted, afterall they are not related to you by blood. Yes, that’s what you have lectured yourself before coming to this grand house where you are sitting with bored eyes staring at the screen. You don’t even remember why you have come to the living room and sat there in first place but now regretting as to why you remained in that place instead of going to your room to find something more useful than facing the idiots who just entered through the big wooden door.
Your step-brothers. Maintain that step.
Since the first day, you came here after your beloved mother married her childhood best friend, your life is literally pathetic. Your parents never had that lovely little family couple relation in between them and you somehow hoped them to get separate and when you were in highschool, they finally parted their ways much to your liking. Somewhere, in the corner of your mind, you still missed that fatherly love and your mother did notice it as she also felt alone when seeing others being happy with their partners. After two months, her best-friend started coming to your house more often to check on both of you and your mother gladly welcomed him each and every time. Once, you eavesdropped on their conversation when coming back from school and then realized their life story.
Basically, they are those childhood sweethearts and had so many dreams to spend their life together. Unfortunate events led them to move apart and during those times, you mother was being married to your father and her lover went overseas for future plannings and under family's peer pressure, he also got married there. They didn’t have contact with each other until they again met at a fancy restaurant with their own little families. Somehow, they talked about their situation and accepted their fate. They again back to being friends. He somehow noticed that your mother was not happy in her life but what could he do when he was the one who left her to her miseries. When you were in primary school, her friend left for the states with his wife again and then again, she was never able to meet him. You don’t remember much about them from your childhood memories but when you met with your mother’s friend after your father left you, the memories flashes across your mind.
Never in your high school life, you ever thought of them getting married. You could see how she used to share every detail of her life with her friend and you were glad that she could talk about her problems to someone with whom she feels safe and most comfortable. That time, you also noticed that how her friend was meeting all alone with your mother instead of bringing his wife along, you didn’t think about it much but gradually you came to know that his wife was no more due to mishap. That was the main reason for them to reunite again and could find comfort within each other’s warmth. You were literally so happy for them, if they were more verbal to their family about their relationship then they could have lived a more blessed life since long ago but its okay, everything happens for a reason and maybe this reason could lead them to a better life. Eventually, after your completion of school, they brought up the topic about their marriage and surprisingly, you agreed with it instantly. You were happy to get a father who actually showed the fatherly love towards you and also you were thankful to him to love your mother so much.        
But maybe for you, two devils escaped from the hell that day. Girl, you didn’t know that the man who was building a paradise for you and your mother can also bring two devils of hell into that paradise. After marriage, when you three shifted to a different country, you came to know that your two lovely step-brothers are also shifting there to settle down with your family. First, you thought about getting two little brothers because you didn’t know in the first hand that he had child rather two sons and you hoped to see them but the next when you came to know about their age and they are handling all the business schedules and meetings of their father’s company, your head hit hard. Well they are the heirs of all your step-father’s company but now you are also part of it and you didn’t know it yet but the first introduction with your step-brothers and getting to know about the inheritance was not like how you expected.
“So, you are the pretty heir and the third inheritor of this huge property?”
“I am?....I don’t know about this.”
“Really? But dad has prepared every document for you and you are unaware of it? This is strange. If you are not here for the property then what the hell are you doing in my house?”
“Excuse me but this is my house as well. I am your sister so I should be here.”
Don’t forget you are just a step-sister.
“Interesting.”
A great physique wearing a white t-shirt complimenting each bump of the muscles and an eyebrow slit making his dark look more intimidating. His gaze was burning on your exposed skin and the aura radiating from him was so daring as well. That day, you knew that it was best to ignore the older one in that household because you feel so weak in front of that powerful presence around you. Somehow, you hoped for the other one to be a bit handful and friendly but unfortunately, it didn’t go like that. One day when your parents were out and only Jeno was there, chilling in the wide living area, you noticed it and made your way back to the garden family zone which is your favorite spot but not likely today. You just wanted to relax yourself in your room after having long classes in the university but you didn’t want to face your so called brother all alone in that mansion so until your parents were coming back, you opted to kill time in the garden. It was pretty much okay unless the other devil appeared in front of you disturbing your peaceful time.
“What’s a pretty baby doing here?”
This boy and his name calling.
“That’s none of your concern.”
“It is my concern when you are doing every possible stuff to ignore my brother. It hurts my feelings when you are avoiding that handsome brother of mine who can get every girl around here or anywhere even you…”
“What the hell? Just go away and let me relax.”
“Uh ah…NO. I cant let my one and only dear sister to be here outside in the late evening. Its getting dark and anything can happen when the surrounding falls black and its only you and me making the white spot.”
You could feel him leaning towards you slowly with each word falling from his mouth while kneeling in front of you to match your level sitting on a low rock seat. You pushed him when he fell back and balanced himself on his two hands, laughing at your flustered face which you were trying your best to hide from him.
“What type of bullshit you are saying? Get the fuck away Jaemin.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I will shout and tell that….that you are…you….I..I was..”
“Is my dear sister lost? Are you lost babygirl?”
His smirk is wide enough to fuel your anger more and your fist tight on your lap, nails digging in your palm, making the skin reddish all around. He stared at you for a while and stood up, dusting his pants while he could still feel the glares from you to which he had no effect rather he chuckled on the fact.
“What are you upto?”
“Nothing. Just go inside and don’t stay out. Jeno is just a human like you and me so he wont be feeding on you in the dinner.”
You frowned on his words and he smiled to your confused face and walked away. Did he just call himself and me at a same level? No way. I mean we are human but we both can't be same. He is that shitty human like his brother and the way Jeno always have a dark expression, you doubt that he might feed on you. Does your mother trust your new brothers so much that she left you alone with them? Stomping your feet, you walked into the house to find both of your brothers sitting on the sofa and laughing at their phone screen, maybe again watching some weird stuffs. You glanced towards the stairs and ran towards it when the not so lovely of your brother spoke up.
“What were you doing outside?”
“Didn’t Jaemin tell you that I don’t want to face you? Yes. I was avoiding you.”
You didn’t dare to look back to them, you were just hoping to escape the place that moment and lock yourself inside the room until your parents come back.
“And why?”
You didn’t speak anything but could feel both of their stares boring onto your back so you took some slow steps.
“I asked you something. Without entertaining my questions, you are again going away. Does our baby need some punishments to behave well?”
Hearing the last sentence, you ran to your room without caring what would happen next but you just made your strong opinion on not unlocking the door unless one of your parents come upstairs.
You are always been called out with endearments by Jaemin. He is the biggest flirt in the household. He might be the one with soft, playful and flirty nature but his intentions are always transparent and your parents appreciate his clinginess towards you. ‘Jaemin loves his sister so much. I am so glad they are getting along so well with each other.’
Well, only you know how that tease actually shows his brotherly love to you. He always has that intimidating lustful eyes following your every movement around the house and whenever you catch him for it, he would just simply give you his teasing smile and winks at you before walking away with smug look.
Whereas his brother Jeno, well you just know about him that however possible you need to avoid that individual because you cant read him like Jaemin. He always has that dark expression with clenched jaws and piercing eyes. When Jaemin’s stare feels like tickles on your skin like a winter warmth, Jeno’s eyes burn on your skin like a blazing sun in summer. The cold replies to your every question and whenever your parents are in front, he would watch you as if every mishap in the world is caused by you. Every reason is you for his life problems. You still don’t know whether he is happy with your presence or not and moreover it is okay for him to introduce you as his sister to everyone. Jaemin happily shows everyone that you belong to his family and Jeno just agree with him by nodding his head slightly but they never mentioned the actual relationship that you are their ‘stepsister’.
It's always ‘she is one of us’ or ‘she is our family’ for them.
“How was your Gym workouts my sons?”
“it was good mom.” Jaemin brightly smiled to his step-mom.
“Yeah it was.”
“Why are you so down Jeno? Are you tired?”
“He is just sulky mom. He is mad because he is not getting the appreciation he needs from his favorite person, you know.”
“Gym crush?”
“No… it’s-“
“Jaemin. You are going to shut up right now.”
 If Jeno’s glare could burn Jaemin then he would have turned into ashes that instant but maybe his sweats saved him and his laugh echoed throughout the dinning room. Your attention got averted towards the noise coming from the presence of three lovely beings conversing among themselves.
“Y/n. come and eat with us, you will be late for the outing.”
Your mother has called you many times to have the lunch because later this evening, you will be going out with your friends but before that you need to complete some assignments and your mother wont let you do so without you having the lunch on time.
“mom, told you that I’m not hungry. I will be in my room and if you need me just call me downstairs.”
Standing on your feet, you collected your ipad and phone from the sofa and made your way towards the stairs. The brothers shared a knowing look before speaking up and halting your steps.
“You are not leaving now.”
“Why is it your concern jeno?”
“This is our concern Y/n. You are our sister and skipping meals is not good for your health. Eat now. I will help with your assignments later so come here.”
“Jaemin you don’t have to.”
“Look. Your brothers are always taking care of you and this is so nice that he will also be helping you with your works.”
“But mom-“
“Y/n, don’t be stubborn.”
“Fine.”
As it had to be. You had your lunch with them, having some conversations from here and there. Your mother happily listened to your every word like usual but surprisingly your brothers were also interested in the topics. Even, Jeno stated some opinions regarding some issues and this is the first time, you felt grateful about his presence. He is not the type to have family time and moreover having conversations with any one of you other than his brother, Jaemin. Well, this other one is always a nosy one in everyone’s business so it’s natural to have him in the dining family times. During the whole lunch, you could feel two burning stares on your skin, your brothers stealing glances of you and your mother is always unaware of all these.
When going back to your room, you could feel someone is following you upstairs and you are well aware of the person, who it might be. Well, as he has promised earlier, he would definitely help you in your assignments. You didn’t mind him following but something about his stares, making you uncomfortable in your place.
Entering your room, you quickly head towards the table to gather all your required stuffs for the work while he made himself comfortable on the edge of your bed. His hands caressing the bedsheet and humming to himself with closed eyes.
“Where are you going anyways?”
You didn’t pick up his question as you are busy typing some texts in your group chat when you feel someone snatches your phone away from your grip and held it higher.
“What the hell? Give it back to me Jaemin. You are here to help me not to irritate me.”
“I was asking you a question but you just ignored me and was busy on this useless thing.”
“I was texting someone and I’m sorry that I didn’t hear you.”
He glanced to the phone in his hand, which was still raised above and squinting his eyes, he is trying to read the messages. You could see his raised eyebrows and tongue poking his cheeks.
“You are going out with all boys?”
“That’s not your issue.”
“Did mom allow you?”
“Oh gosh. Why are you asking so many questions? Are you going to help me now or not? If not then get the fuck out of my room.”
“What help do you need exactly?”
“huh?”
You are standing on your toes to match his level to get back your phone but your feet touched the floor on hearing his words. You should not feel like this but his tone is different than before and it’s a bit more seductive and you could feel him closing the distance between you both. You step back with every proceeding of his step towards you. You bumped on the chair in front of the desk and your hands grabbed the top of it tightly in the back, you are totally trapped. He leans forward and caged you, hands gripping the desk behind.
  “Wha…what..do you need?”
He leans to your ears and his hot breath fanning over it when he whispered.
“That’s really up to you. How do you need me?”
“I need…help…in my assignment.”
“yeah and?”
He stares at your eyes in a way as if he is trying to hipnotize you.
“and?”
“Answer the rest of the questions I have asked you. Be a good girl. Will you?”
He repeated his questions while caressing your cheeks and somehow you were leaning to his touch even when you know whatever you both are doing is wrong. This is not how a brother and sister treat each other.
“I am going out with my old friends who are in this town and they want to meet with me so I will be back late at night.”
He stares at you for a few moments as if he is processing your words. Suddenly, he comes near to your face to match your eye level, staring so deeply as if he could read your past life and can possess your soul anytime. You can feel his lips just a breath away from yours and this is the first time, you are so much close to your brother, well just a reminder step-brother. Tugging your hairs slowly behind your ears, his fingers sliding over your cheeks to feel every little detail of the texture, you closed your eyes on the impact. Your heart beat increasing with every passing second and you can feel him smiling at your current state. You are hoping to end this situation quickly like you can push him or just like any other time, you can just reply him back savagely but somehow your body not reacting to do any of this rather accepting him and letting him to have his ways with you. Your thoughts got interrupted when you could feel something warm on your lips. His lips. He kissed you. It was a quick kiss as if a dream which flickered in the daylight. He steps back and brushes his hair with a smug look as if he has achieved his thing which he desired for so long.
The room is quiet. Really quiet or maybe you are suddenly deaf to your surroundings. Your bedroom is quite big but still its suffocating you at the moment as if the walls are closing in and the daylight fading out, making you a completely abandoned soul in this lively household.
But your mind is screaming that YOUR STEPBROTHER HAS JUST KISSED YOU.
“Earth to Y/N.”
You were so distracted that you didn’t notice how your fingers are touching your lips as if you are judging whether those are real or fake or if it yours in the first place. Looking over to the person, you can see him already has arranged everything for your work and smirking at you, sitting on the bed. As if nothing happened just few seconds back.
“….Jaemin…why….”
“Don’t you need my help anymore? You know I can help you in every possible way but till then lets focus on this. Come here.”
How can you just go near him again after what happened earlier? But him pretending like this as if he didn’t kiss his sister few minutes earlier and now like a big brother offering his help for homework for his little sister. With slow steps, you went near the side of the bed to which he pats the space beside him and hesitantly, you sit there.
One and a half hour has passed with you being stuck with him in your room doing your assignment. Every moment was torturing you as if every minute was passing like an hour with him. His every lingering touch was igniting a spike inside you like while him showing you how to solve a math problem and while peeking into the laptop, his palm resting over your exposed leg, your mind was focusing on everything except your work. You were trying your best to divert your mind from all the unholy thoughts that were going across your mind every second, but nothing was helping when his presence was so close to you.
“I know what you are thinking right now but only if you didn’t have to go out with your friends then we could have done something you know.”
“What?”
“You know what I meant?”
You just want to punch off that smirk from his face but you don’t want to create more memories of spending time with him for so long for the first time in your room so you just have to patiently handle the situation right now.
“Jaemin, the thing for which you were here is done so now you can go out because I have to get ready. Its not like you can help me in that.”
“I can.”
“Very funny.”
His smug look changes into a dark expression and you swear, him in this contrast look is something which scares you off the most even scarier than Jeno. That one has always that grumpy and intense look so you are used to it but when this flirt becomes like him, a shiver runs down your spine. His soft expressions always hide those bulky muscled body with veins on display on hands and necks. You never had a proper look of their abs but you hope to see the effects of the gym though. Like whenever, they swipe their hairs after having fun in the swimming pool, you would always stare at their muscles and face but you just divert your eyes whenever the abs come in display to you. Your fault to miss the free shows.
“Nothing is funny here baby. As I said I would help you means I will definitely. Now show me what you got baby.”
“Jaemin-“
He walks over to your closet and before you could protest, he slides open the door standing there with raised eyebrows and smiling face.
“You have quite a good collection of……everything.”
You hurriedly go in front of him and shut it close on his smirking face, eyes scanning your body to which you just glared him back. But well Jaemin didn’t budge to it, he goes to the next door and now it revealed the actual dress section not your lingerie and undies.
You observed his actions keenly to understand his motives. You can see him having his whole focus into your closet and you walk over to the bed to sit on it and watch him. Is it because of the kiss or for spending so much time with him that suddenly you are finding his whole existence as a blessing in your life?
His pretty eyelash making his eyes more attractive when they are focused on anything. His smooth skin with attractive nose and lips with that pretty smile. Did I just mention his smile pretty? Well not gonna lie however that smile irritates you but you find it really cute, a healing one. Your university friends have mentioned about your stepbrothers being so hot and handsome and they even pointed out that if they were in your place, they might have ended up dating them instead of maintaining the brother and sister image. But you are sure that those things are never going to happen between you and your stepbrothers maybe because you might find them attractive but its not like that’s the same from their end. Right?
“Take this. Give me a show and let me see in which one you will look the prettiest.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“100 percent.”
He is standing in front of you with few clothes in his hands and as far as you can see those are some skirt, shirt, tees, one denim jeans and two dresses. The way he is grinning at you as if he is an elementary school boy who got his long-awaited present. Wait. He got his present. What the hell I am thinking?
“There is no need of this. I can choose myself.”
Putting the clothes beside you, he holds your hand to pull you up on your feet and pats your cheek with both the hands, still having that smile on his face.
“Be a good girl or you wont be going out today. Alright?”
“You cant be serious.”
“Till the time I’m being nice to you just go with it or you have to regret it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I will not look while you are changing so after you have dressed yourself in one, ask me to turn around.”
“But-“
“What did I just say?”
“…okay…”
He went over to your desk and sat on the chair with one hand leaning over the desk and other hand handling the phone, keeping himself busy. You kept standing near the other side of the bed still staring at the clothes lying over your bed. Am I really going to do this? What did he mean by being nice and you have to regret? Shaking off your thoughts, you cautiously dressed yourself in the skirt and a matching shirt he has selected with it. His every little movement was making you freeze in your spot. Changing your dress in presence of your step-brother in closed room is really challenging even more when he kissed you earlier. You look over to the mirror and damn, he has a good sense in fashion. You smiled to your outfit and then remember that you have to ask him to turn around.
Gulping, you call out his name, “jae-Jaemin…I’m ready.”
He quickly swivels on the chair to face you and eyes directly made a strong contact with yours before scanning your outfit. His furrowed eyebrows and thoughtful expression making you to adjust your dress properly.
“No. Change it. Keep the shirt on but wear the jeans.”
Before turning around, he winks at you. Your glare was digging hole in the back of his head but it was useless as he would not budge with that little thing.
“Stop glaring at me and change. Do it fast. I’m sure, you don’t want to be late or like miss out today’s outing.”
He is still turning his back to you but you could feel his smug look mocking at you. Kicking your feet, you quickly changed your skirt with the pant. The previous look was giving off a sexy and cute look altogether but this one is suggesting tumblr fashion. Calling out his name again, he stands up and comes near to you. Your heart starts racing with the thought what happened when last time he came to you like this.
“stop there.”
But he didn’t.
“I said stop. Don’t come near to me.”
He again ignored and when he is just a feet away. His hand goes to the button of your pant. Your eyes go wide and hands reacting fast enough to hold his but he was faster than you. Swatting your hands away, he pulls the zipper up.
“What? Did you think I am going to do something to you? Aha not like this. Or maybe you thought…..” He leans to your ears, “ I will kiss you again.”
He steps back and precisely takes a look of your form. Nodding to himself, he pats your head and your confused expression made a chuckle out of him.
“That’s looking good on you. You are going out with all boys and I cant trust them. Maybe they can be your old friends but without having contacts with them for so long and you don’t know how would they behave later so better be like this.”
“It’s not like for them I need to dress up accordingly.”
“of course not. You can wear anything when either me and Jeno is there with you but not when you will be all alone.”
“Why is it okay with both of you?”
“I can fight with others for you. Jeno will do the same.”
Going over to the dressing table, you pulled out all the make up kit while talking with him and him admiring your every features as if you are his treasured person. Maybe you are.
“Jeno would rather sell me to them rather than fighting for me.’
“You are wrong there baby. Absolutely wrong. He would burn the world for you but never let any harm on you.”
“Anyways I will leave you here. Do your makeup and have fun tonight but not too much. Remember about what I have told you.”
You keep on staring at your reflection on the mirror with shiny edges after he shuts the door behind, leaving your room. His words clouding all over your mind and his actions playing repeatedly making you groan in frustration. All these types of situations are not usual between the relationship between a brother and a sister and whatever is going to happen later, you must face it with your confidence and true feelings. Patting your cheeks to get yourself off these overthinking and resume your makeup. It took almost one hour when you finished your makeup, its not like you were doing any heavy look but the problem was you were continuously getting distracted when the thought of Jaemin playing across your mind. Glancing at the clock, its almost six in the evening and you should probably leave right now to be there on time. Collecting all the necessary stuffs, you made your way downstairs. Adjusting your smart watch, a message popped up that few have arrived on the location and you need to be there soon.
“Are you ready? Let’s go.”
“Hm….wait!...you? Where are you going?”
“To the place you are going.”
“Why?”
Rolling his eyes, he slides his jacket and fishes his phone inside the pocket of his jeans. Frowning you, still staring at him as if why he is tagging along with you to the place. Before exiting the house, he finds you still standing at the same spot and staring back at him, he rolls his eyes before stepping towards you. Your panic arises watching him coming towards you, you tried to think some possible attempts to escape it but before you could do anything, he catches your wrist and drags you towards the door.
“Jeno…What are you doing?”
“Stop being dramatic. I’m just taking you to your friends.”
“I can go on my own. You… you don’t have to…take me there.”
Reaching near the garage, he takes you to his car. The person whose presence, you try to avoid with every possibility and now you will be riding a car with him. Jaemin has given you ride to and from college a lot of times and that’s how some thought that he was your boyfriend and even Jaemin always has that smug expression on hearing those comments. But you never went anywhere alone with Jeno and if your heart could burst today, it should by now because of the events unfolding after the lunch. Jeno is texting on his phone and your eyes following how his clenched jaws moving with veins popping at the side profile, on his neck disappearing behind the collar of the jackets. He caught you staring at him and that smirk made an appearance on his attractive and sharp face. But. Wait, he is really attractive, a lot more handsome than you have thought of him before. Any girl should drool over this man if he ever proposes them. Maybe you too if he was not your brother, well step-brother.
With slow steps as if he is the predator cornering his prey. Why suddenly they are like this today? I should probably stay at my friend’s house tonight. You try to open the door of the car but to your dismay, it got stuck, you shake it aggressively but it didn’t budge.
“It will break like this. It’s locked sweetheart.”
“Oh…”
You have not turned around but could feel his presence just behind you. Your back flushed against his front. His hands resting against the car, caging you in between, lips near your ears, hot breath tickling your lobe, goosebumps spreading all over your skin.
“Why you always ignoring me?”
You remained quiet. Fingers tangling with the strap of the sling bag in nervousness and his strong smell of cologne hitting your nose clouding your every attempt to push him and run away as you are going to be late.
His one hand grabs your jaw to turn your face to meet your eyes. His eyes blinks to your lips before raising up to meet yours which is covered with glittery makeup.
“I asked you something. You should answer it right?”
You nod to his raised eyebrows.
“Words sweetheart.”
His husky voice and him so close to your body is enough to make you weak in your knees.
“I am not ignoring you.”
“Don’t lie. I don’t like when you lie. Its very obvious how you always leave the scene whenever I come near you but still you are okay with Jaemin.”
“Jeno…I…I’m late…I need to go.”
“Dammit. Look, you are trying to avoid me again. You always have these excuses to avoid me. Why? Am I worse than jaemin?”
He turns you around, pushing you against the car, still caging you between his arms. Eyes daringly staring at you, veins more visible on his forehead and around his throat and neck. You got the chance to have a look of this handsome face so closely for the first time and you are already getting attracted to it even when your consciousness is screaming ‘he is your stepbrother.’
“He might be always sweet to you and shows his flirty side to you but mark my words, he is worse than me. You don’t know what he can do if he ever gets a chance to get you alone and fuck you. His mischievous innocent smile hides all his nasty thoughts and his devil side from you.”
“What are you saying jeno?”
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know how you always tease us when roaming around the house like a little slut you are. It’s good that Jaemin has decided your outfit otherwise who knows what you have worn to meet all those shitheads.”
“Excuse me, they are my friends.”
He steps back and pulls you towards him making you bump into his front. The sound from the car, indicating the unlock of your ride made a surprised squeal from you. Pulling the door open, he offers you to enter his car.
“Have a seat princess. We have a little way to go.”
Without wasting any time, you hurriedly go inside it and shut the door to which he chuckles on your little attempt. He strikingly walks towards the other side to enter the driver seat and as soon as he enters, he brushes his hair, looking in the rear mirror. Gulping, you cast a glance to him and well you find it really attractive whenever one of your brothers do this. Afterall both of them are just walking models.
As soon as you both make an eye contact in the mirror, he smirks and you look out of the window to avoid his gaze.
“How much you try, You are stuck with me inside this little space.”
Leaning towards you, supporting his hand on your seat and the other on the steering wheel.
“You have nowhere to go except appreciating my presence.”
“Jeno…what are you doing?”
He pulls the seat belt before you protest to his further attempts to do anything, fixing it properly, he sighs and smirks at you. As he goes back to do the same for him, you release a heavy breath to the thought that nothing happened like Jaemin.
You remained quiet the whole ride and did your best to keep yourself busy on the phone to avoid any conversation with him. But Jeno is not the one to keep it this way as finally he got the chance with you and that’s also all alone in his car. He kept you asking few questions and when you denied to reply him back, everytime he slides his hands up and down your thighs.
“Don’t be a bad girl, princess.”
The ride to your destination was quick as you all were going to meet in the nearest mall to hangout and have fun with catching up all the gossips you are missing out. He didn’t park the car because he has to go to the office to meet his dad after dropping you off at your place.
“Thanks…thanks for the ride…Jeno.”
Your hands reach over to the handle to push the door open but before the impact, he grips your wrist and pinned you down to your seat. Your eyes go wide when he is almost hovering on top of you, his eyes reading all your little changes in the expression.
“I can’t lose to Jaemin here.”
And with that, he crashes his lips onto yours. The afternoon kiss with the other one was a quick and soft but this one is rough but like he has the whole time of the universe for himself and slowly he is sucking your whole soul. You didn’t kiss back but you push him. Taking heavy breathes, you take a look yourself in the mirror but he grips your jaw and turns to face him. His other hand placing your hairs properly and then wipes the smudged lipstick stain from your face and rubbing it on his lips
“Now it’s perfect.”
He gives you his eye smile. Cute.
As soon as he turns around to open his door, you quickly got out of the car before he could speak up anything more.
The whole evening went with having a lot of delicious foods and having fun at karaoke and arcades. Well, you caught up on lots of funny rumors of your old classmates, many dating scandals and other spicy gossips. It was really great to catch up with your old friends. You were distracted from the thought of your brothers most of the time but everytime a scene comes across your mind, suddenly you would become quiet.
“Y/N, are you okay?”
“Of course.”
You all cant understand because it’s not like you are getting kissed by your brothers everyday. Also, by both of them on the same day.
And you just know, you have to keep all these as secrets from the parents because if they find out about it, you don’t know what would happen after and again you don’t want to ruin your mother’s happy life.
When it was already late at night, you texted your mother that you would be home soon and one of your friends might drop you off to your house and she agreed with it. Your father also texted you to be safe on your way. But two people were not happy with you being out for so long. You had numerous calls from your brothers but you just kept it in silent. It’s not like you haven’t received once. You had answered few of their calls and explained about your ride back home but they were stuck with one sentence.
“We will pick you up. Just tell us when we need to pick you up.”
But you dared to ignore their protest and still asked one of friends to drop you off at home.
Everyone waved off their goodbyes and it’s you and Jongho while going towards the parking area.
“it was really nice to see you after so many months.”
“Same here. I didn’t know that nerdy gummy bear is now a great man.”
“Well I am now and I can protect you as well.”
“Thank you.” You both giggled on his words.
“There wont be a need for you to protect her.”
Why? Cant atleast the night end peacefully? You both turned around to the voice and Jongho frown to see two unfamiliar faces glaring back at him.
“Who are you? Y/N, do you know them?”
“She is not likely to be answerable to your every question when we are here you know.”
And that sassy voice made his appearance out from the dark space of the parking lot. Hands folded in front and eyes sending daggers to your friend.
“Hello there mister. Myself Jaemin. A lot more handsome and sexy person than you.”
Before Jongho could protest anything, Jaemin grip your wrist and start dragging you towards the car where you could already see someone sitting in the driver’s space. He has not come alone. That means Jeno is also there. Turning your face, you send a reassuring smile that you are fine and you waved him goodbye and told him to have a safe ride back home. Unlike you.
“Jaemin, leave my hand. I can walk.”
He ignores your every word and proceeds to walk towards the car. He harshly opens the passenger seat door and pushes you inside. Without any complaint, you swiftly go inside and he shuts the door. He goes in the backseat when your focus falls on Jeno’s hand gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white and veins popping attractively on his arms, he is not wearing the jacket from previously and shirt sleeves are folded.
“Why didn’t you pick up the calls?”
“I told you before that I could have gone back with Jongho.”
Jaemin interjects.
“so? Haven’t I told you before that I don’t trust your friends?”
“That’s your problem. I trust my friends.”
“You-“
Jeno darkly chuckles. “Jaemin, let it go. She doesn’t know that we know how to tame brats like her.”
“What?”
“Ah sure Jeno.”
That’s how you were bombarded with lot of questions during the ride back home about your whole day.
The following next week, you were doing your best to avoid being near to them. But they have the total opposite thing on their mind. Their motive was to follow you like the lost puppy the whole day. The worst thing was that they would make some worst excuses sometimes and not let you to leave for any kind of parties and meet ups. It was okay to go out for any day-out fun but not night. Surprisingly, your parents were also agreeing with them and appreciating the fact that how they were showing their concern for their only sister.
If only they knew, how they actually treat you.
With the passing of days, you can feel their eyes are more lingering on your body. Their intense pervert gaze to which you glare them back but one either blinks at you or the other smirks at you confidently. You were nothing less as you would also check them out whenever they are unaware of your presence and not to lie, you are getting attracted to them more with every passing time, you are getting more proper close up look of their bare face with raw and groggy voice each morning and sometimes when you come across with each other during midnight.
And then this day when suddenly, your parents have to leave for a vacation business trip for a couple of months and that means. THAT MEANS YOU WILL BE ALONE WITH YOUR BROTHERS THE WHOLE DAY. EVERY DAY. You begged your mother to take you with her but she waved you off telling how childish and stupid you sound like. You almost spilled out the actual reason but regained your composure to keep the secret.
So you made a plan to spend few days at your friends house and maybe you should plan out some more hangouts so you don’t have to face your brothers. And that’s how, you are making your way out of the house to meet your dearest friend but maybe that’s not how smooth your life is meant to be.
“Where do you think you are going?”
Only one more step and you would have been out of the house but not today. Gulping, you clutched the door handle tightly in your fist and turned around to face the owner of the voice. It’s not like the person is anyhow unfamiliar to you or someone you are scared of. Well, yeah the person who you want to avoid rather you should unless you want to be in a big trouble. Turning around on your heel, you kept your gaze on the floor, suddenly finding it the most beautiful and appreciable thing in your life. You could feel the approaching footsteps but not daring to look up because why will you when you are damn aware of the person before you. Your panic state didn’t go unnoticed by the approaching person. Now, you could smell the cologne of the man and the close proximity between you two was making your mind scream loudly inside. Two fingers brushing your cheeks sliding down to your chin and grabbed it, forcing you to look up. Due to the sudden impact, you closed your eyes, still could hear the chuckle left from his lips. Even when your eyes are closed, you could still feel the well built muscular body towering over you. Another hand brushed your hairs and tugged them behind your eyes. Your heart racing and mind screaming but you just wanted to run away from the current situation.
“Open your eyes baby.”
No. Please let me go out. You were mentally begging him to let you go but nothing was coming out of your throat and so you just gulped the lump. Not reacting to his words, he gripped your jaw tightly and you could feel his breath fanning over your lips. You tried to bend backwards but his other hand placed on your lower back pulled you closer towards him.
“Didn’t you hear what I said? Open your eyes. Let me see the pretty eyes of my baby.”
His voice was a lot more dominative than before and you didn’t want to make him mad so you slowly parted your eyelids. Eyes couldn’t focus on his face due to the fact that you were closing them so tightly previously and also this man being so close to you that lights couldn’t make up the image properly for your eyes. Flattering your eyelashes, you were then staring to those attractively seductive eyes as it could hipnotiza you. Anyone could have felt weak for these eyes and him in such situation including you but not when he being your brother. Well, correctly stepbrother. You were damn aware of the treatment that a step brother should have for his little sister but in your case, nothing was near to that fact check. You were literally living with two damn tease who constantly stir up every situation to flirting and teasing.
“Did you ask us before leaving?”
“I- I was just going to tell you.”
“Really? It doesn’t look like that. It was as if you were going somewhere else to avoid us tonight. Is there any reason?”
You were trying to voice out some words but the way his fingers were brushing over your lower lips. Oh gosh! It’s not helping your condition.
“Answer him.”
Okay! Time to leave now. The only thing I have to do is to push the man in front of me and quickly run out of the door before the other one can descend the stairs. Eyes dancing on their forms, mentally you counted to three and you pushed him. He got startled due to your sudden action but was quick to catch your hands.
“Step one more. You will regret it later so much.”
“Someone is being a stubborn today, you know.”
“Where was she going Jaemin?”
You could see him smirking on his brother’s question before replying to him, he winked at you with lips sending a flying kiss to you. The biggest tease in the household. You glared at him and when you looked at the other one, he was already glaring at you darkly with clenched jaw. But you were getting distracted how his biceps were well reflected under the bright lights because of his black sleeveless tee.
“I was asking her that before you made your entry on our private time. Jeno got no jam.”
“Shut up Jaemin. You are literally standing at the entrance in a massive hall and saying private time.”
“But there is no one around.”
“I am here. Well, getting back to her. It’s past curfew time and where is she going even all dolled up.”
Both of them expecting an answer from you, waiting for your reply but you chose to remain quiet. You tried to wiggle your hand out of his grip but he held it tighter and Jeno was satisfied with his brother’s act. You stared at the older one who had already seated himself comfortably on the sofa and staring back at you both, gesturing his brother to pull you towards him.
“I was just going somewhere.”
“Where?” Jeno asked with a lot more husky voice.
“T-to to meet someone.”
“Now?” Jaemin with a frown on his face turned towards you.
“Yeah….”
“Who?”
You looked towards Jeno before thinking twice as it would be safe to tell them or not but you chose death.
“My boyfriend.”
“Since when do you have one?”
“We are just going to meet today to get along with each other so he invited me to his house for a sleepover. He is my old friend.”
“And you thought without telling us, it would be fine for you to just sneak out of the house and have fun.”
“No Jeno look I-“
You didn’t notice when Jaemin went behind and wrapped his arms around you to hold you flushed to him. His nose snuggling into your wavy locks on your shoulder and neck.
Whispering ‘baby’ ‘pretty’ ‘princess’ in your ears, breathe tingling over. But the next thing he whispered made your eyes went wide.
“Tell him you can’t make it today.”
Jeno read your actions precisely and noticing how you pressed your legs together, his brother’s every little action was getting a reaction out from you. Honestly, he was enjoying the view more than he could describe but the moment your eyes went wide, the corner of his lips rose on knowing what was the possible reason behind that. Moreover, he found everything cute.
“Do it. Whatever he is telling you, work it.”
“No no I can’t.” Jaemin’s grip was strong and the way both of them hit the Gym, you were well aware that you couldn’t stand any chance in front of them.
“You can do this but you can’t go out.”
“Please.”
“Call him yourself or I’m going to do it. What do you want?”
Snatching your purse from the hand, he hurriedly rummages into it to find your phone. Found it, unlocking the phone, he went through all your contacts and text messages until he found out your precious friend. How come he knows my password?
Dialing the number, he kept the phone in front of you with speaker on. You could see your reflection with your stepbrother on that tiny screen. Suddenly the screen turned on, and someone spoke from the other side.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Jongho….”
Even when you were talking with your friend, you made a straight eye contact with those daring eyes of jeno in front of you holding your phone. Jaemin was still in his world, inhaling your body scent as if you were a drug that he was missing out all these days. Your voice cracked when you felt him leaving kisses over your exposed shoulder.
“When are you coming Y/N?”
Before you could reply, jeno mouthed you to say what they wanted to hear from you. He raised his eyebrows when you remained quiet.
“Sorry but I don’t think ......I can go today.”
“What happened? Is everything alright? Do I need to come over for help?”
“No no it’s just mild headache. You don’t have to worry much.”
Jeno came closer to you and tracing his fingers through your face before pressing them on your lips. You averted your eyes away.
Jaemin whispered in between biting your earlobe, “eyes on him baby.”
You somehow managed to do so until the third voice interrupted.
“Please take care and let me know if you need something.”
You replied with a low ‘hmm’ before he cut the line and tossing the phone on the sofa.
“Now leave me. Let me go.”
“Now where are you planning to go? Didn’t Jeno said earlier it’s already past curfew time?”
“Both of you have already ruined my night. Now Atleast let me go to my room. So, move!”
Both of them chuckled on your reply and you creased your eyebrows in confusion, wiggling under their hold and gaze. Finding your actions cute, they started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?”
“You said you can’t make it tonight so let us make that excuse valid. Right Jaemin?”
“Of course, Jeno.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can do this all night baby, Make a wish.” Jaemin licked and whispered in your ears, biting the earlobe before retreating his mouth.
Jeno leaned down to match your eye level.
“Let’s keep it a secret before you can unfold what’s coming in your way.”
“no. look. Jeno…Jaemin…I- I…”
“What?”
“baby…just follow us and you will love it for sure.”
You know whatever is going to happen is something that should not been like this but the way your body is already turned on is basically denying your thoughts to stop everything right on the spot. You followed them to their game room, that’s the only common room they share whenever they have game nights with their friends. You haven’t entered this room anytime before and exploring everything new today is really exciting you. Exploring their new self will be lot more exciting to you.
As soon as you and Jaemin entered the room, Jeno shut the door behind and that’s how you know, you have to block every other thoughts which screaming to you to back off but yet here you are challenging their offer. Well not offer but you want to see how far they can go. Are you so irresistible to them?
Jaemin took you to the middle of the room, throwing your purse away and cupping your face and neck with both of his hands and pulls you closer. Eyes scanning every detail of your face, admiring your beauty even when he sees you everyday but not like this when turned on and your body radiating heat on his bare palm. With few blinks of his eyes, he closes the distance between your lips. Well, that soft human is nowhere to be found but a hungry demon feasting on his last meal as the way his teeth sucking your lips. Teeth clashing with each other, hands gripping tightly on your neck leaving marks but you are not protesting against rather you accept the doing and kissing him back. You can feel a different set of handles fondling with your dress back zipper and within few seconds, the zip goes down, the dress still hanging on your body but hands snaking from behind around your waist.
You part your lips from Jaemin to take breath when jeno speak from behind you, face snuggling into your shoulders and collar bone, inhaling your scent.
“Can I?”
You don’t even know what he’s asking with the groan lacing with the question, yet you nod in compliance. Jaemin averts your attention towards him by turning your face in his hands, nose nudging against yours before he kisses you. His lips are soft and warm, and you’re genuinely enjoying  how excellent he is at kissing. You again got lost in him devouring you, hands around his neck as to bring him closer.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been kissing for, only until Jeno tugs on your hair and pulls you out of your trance. You whimper when you’re parted from Jaemin, who smirks at the noise, hands entangled with yours.
“Don’t be a jerk right now, Jaemin” Jeno growls, pulling your back to his front as he moves to your neck. You moan when his tongue licks a juicy stripe up your neck, hands roaming around your body, the heated body coming in contact with the cold air of the room making your whole body shiver under their warm touch. Jeno tugging your dress upwards, leaving your thighs bare and exposed to Jaemin whose eyes following every movement the dress is revealing more inch of your skin from underneath.
Jeno kisses you hungrily like a beast. Jaemin’s kiss was intense but this kiss is everything but soft. His grip on you and kiss, both are rough. He is holding you as if a slight loose in the grip will make you fade away and the same goes for the kiss. He doesn’t bite you rough but little gently, yet making you bleed slightly. Your whine and moans to his actions are like musics to his ears.
“Ah, you’re so fucking perfect,” Jeno hisses, fingers inching closer to your core. “Make you whimper under me all night and can listen to your moans all night.”
“I know we have all night and I can see her like this for the rest,” you hear Jaemin with his sassy voice. “But I want to have my donut with the jam in the middle.”
You were so distracted with Jeno attached to your neck and one hand playing with your clothed breasts that you didn’t notice his other hand slides your panty enough to get a proper access to your core and dips a finger inside which let out a loud moan from inside your throat. Both of them smirk in satisfaction.
Before he can slides a second finger in, Jaemin bent down to lace his mouth with your other left out breast. He pulls the dress down to free it from the cover and quickly takes the nipple between his teeth, sucking and pulling it softly but enough to make you whimper to the effect. You know you should not enjoy this whole thing but yet here you are feeling yourself floating in cloud 9.
“She feels good, her soft skin, her seductive scent is driving me crazy” Jeno speak in a low tone still audible to the whole room, lips trailing kisses all over your neck, shoulders and collarbone, biting in between, ripping soft screams and sobs out of you. “What do you think we should do, Jaemin ?”
“Everything,” he chuckles, tongue flicking over your nipple and other nipple being rolled around between the fingers of Jeno, tugging it slightly. “I want to have her in every way I have dreamed and thought every second whenever she walks around the house in tees without any bra.”
You fail to register his words as Jeno increase his pace inside you, fingers pumping in and out of your pussy along with the tortures going on to your nipples.
“Get her on the bed,” Jeno says. “I want her to see breaking down under me and let’s see how she will escape me like other days.”
Jaemin pulls you away from Jeno just to push you against the bed. You whine on losing contact in your heated mound. Your messed up body hits the well knitted soft bedsheet, surrounded by all the neon lights to create a gaming environment but today’s game is whole lot different from other days. It’s the game you have wanted to play with them. Always.
You feel a tap on your cheek and you glance up to see Jaemin sitting beside you, smiling with eyes filled with lust. His fingers brush your lips, “no matter how long I kiss you, I won’t get enough of you.”
You are distracted with the angel sitting beside you whose deeds are totally of a devil, your eyes following how he pecks your nose before attaching his mouth to your nipples and to the effect, you close your eyes tightly, feeling the moment intently.
You feel someone slide your panty down your legs but still keeping your heels on and dress fondled over your stomach. You feel harsh slap against your pussy and then when you look down to see Jeno eyeing your core hungrily and his look is enough to make you wet more, he eyes your arousal leaking out of you, groaning with the scene. Your attempt to close your legs got stuck when he holds tightly the thighs apart and darkly looks at you.
“Be a good girl for me, princess.”
You nod and grips the bedsheet and other hand in Jaemin’s hair , tugging them extracting groans of pain but him not stopping you from doing it.
“Shit!” Jeno curses when he licks a long stripe of your arousal and your back arches, pushing the chest to Jaemin’s mouth. He has that smug look on his face to have you like this and knows well how his brother is making you feel good. “you taste so heavenly, baby.”
Before you can register the words, Jeno again attaches his mouth to your heat and sucks it harshly, fingers digging into your skin leaving marks making it too obvious for others to know how you got those bruises. The abuse on your tits and mound is taking to your climax slowly. You can feel the coil tightening inside your stomach and Jaemin could feel it with your body movements
“My baby, you are mine,” Jaemin praising you continuously but the way he is constantly biting uour nipples and leaving marks all over the chest and throat is really contrasting his sweet voice. “Doing so good for us.”
‘How can that mouth do two opposite things together.”
You see white when Jeno wraps his mouth around your clit, sucking harshly at the nub. You hit the climax immediately as soon as he presses his palm above the stomach and Jaemin pulls your both the nipples. Jeno licks every last drop of your cum but didn’t intend to end the abuse.
“Stop it…jeno…”
Even when you cum, he didn’t stop but keep on licking the clit, overstimulating you and to which your back arches and the view is heavenly for Jaemin.
“Fuck, you’re so hot.”Jaemin hisses, admiring your chest going up and down with heavy breathings and pained expression due to overstimulation. While keeping his eyes on you, he slowly unbuckles his belt, pushing the pants and boxers down to expose his hard and thick cock. He smiles at your glazed eyes, pumping himself a few times and you know that this smile is hiding all the possible monstrous activities.
Jeno pushes two of his fingers and you nearly scream out his name with the feeling of his tongue still fucking you and in addition of his two fingers scissoring inside you.
Jaemin moves down his hand to your clit and starts to rub the bud. This is too much for you. His actions are going parallel with one hand rubbing the clit and other one rubbing the nipple in the same pace. The second orgasm with two of them abusing you came too fast and your whole body is covered with sweats and exhaustion but this is the only beginning.
Jaemin pushes Jeno aside while the latter laughed to see his brother’s impatience and well he would have been the same if it was otherwise.
“I want to taste you too but let me first fuck you and feel this tiny hole around my cock.”
“Are you going to wear a condom?” You ask in a weak tone.
Jaemin laughs. “We don’t need one, baby.”
“What?”
You both moan together when he pushes himself inside, stretching your cunt with his cock. You cry out at the brief feeling of pain before you feel Jeno placing his lips over yours. Jaemin’s deep voice is making you clench around his cock. Feeling it, he grabs your ass tightly, leaving red fingerprints.
“Doing so well for us, princess,” he murmurs against your mouth. “Such a pretty angel for me.”
“Not only yours but….but mine too.”
“Did I complain when you called her your baby so just shut up and fuck her.”
Pain shifts into pleasure as Jaemin presses his palm above your clit, fingers circling around the nub. You can feel his cock is driving up into your stomach and hitting it with the force of his thrusts. He continues to maintain his pace till he hits the desired spot to make you scream out his name.
“JAEMIN!”
“That’s it,” he chuckles, slapping your pussy and cock hitting into that spot over and over.
You feel Jeno’s breath ghosting over your ear. Jeno licking your ears and groaning while playing with your nipples letting the familiar neediness building inside you all over again and the coil might explode before reaching the climax. The licking sound into your ears and the wet sounds coming from the down where Jaemin hitting your g-spot is enough to make you feel like the most special and enchanted person to them. Well it’s not only your thought but you are like a dreamy angel to them while all spread out like this on the bed, everything exposed and on display only for them to devour on it.
You approach your third orgasm of the day when Jaemin hits the spot with a deep thrust , your body is overwhelmed as both of them giving all of their attention to you as you are like a goddess spread in front of them to whom they got access after so many attempts.Jaemin groans loudly when you clench around him, he soon reached his high and bends down to peck your lips still buried inside you. You nearly got pass out by the intensity of your orgasm and the feeling of him emptying his seeds inside of you. You’ve never had sex before with someone and your stepbrothers being your first is something so different to imagine. Jaemin feeling you up and without any protection is clouding your mind with different feelings but got interrupted by him.
“Shit,” Jaemin curses before smiling up at you and looking towards his brother . “Her pussy is so fucking good. I want to have her again.”
Your blissed out expression while whimpering his name and shaking uncontrollably under him when he was fucking you is still replaying in his mind. Your bouncing tits when he was pushing inside you with his faster pace and the pleasure filled face when you approached your high when he hit your sweet spot was enough for him.It is driving him crazy and not letting you go away from him and wanting to fuck you to the brim until you pass out like this.
“Let me have my turn now, Jaemin,” Jeno with annoyance in his voice reminds his brother, but he’s immediately shoved away by Jaemin.
“No please let me have one more round.”
“You had your fun. It’s my turn now. Move before I just lock you out of the room.”
“Fine,” Jaemin rolls his eyes before pulling himself out and getting off the bed to change the position with Jeno and you find Jeno again between your legs.
“I’ll take her ass later and you can’t deny it then.”
“Fine.”
“W-What?” You stammer. Later? What do they mean?
“Don’t worry, baby,” Jeno assures you. “It’ll feel good, you just have to trust us. You can be a good girl for us tonight right?”
“How can I trust?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know but my brothers fucking me already breaking the trust of us being siblings-“
“Shut up. We are not siblings. Only me and Jaemin are legal brothers and you are our step sister not our own blood. But ours. You are ours.”
“Yes Jeno is right. No one can take you away from us. Even if people point out us being step siblings, I will fucking cut their hands down.”
Jeno smirks, “maybe burn them alive.”
They leave you no room to protest as Jeno turns you around, face hitting the pillow and his strong grip pulling your ass up, aligning with the tip of his cock. When he freed himself from the boxers, you could feel the pain spread all over your body as you have never seen such big cock, it’s thicker than Jaemin’s and you don’t think it can fit inside you, letting aside in your ass where you never had slid a single finger and rest alone this cock.
“I-I don’t think I’m r-ready for this-“
“You are,” Jeno soothes. “Don’t worry.”
“No no please. I’m already tired and this is…I don’t think I can…stop it Jeno.”
You barely get a chance to stop him as Jaemin pinned your hand to your back which were trying to reach jeno to make him stop. Jaemin kisses your head to soothe you and ease the tensed body.
“Relax. Relax your muscles. You are perfectly made for us and by now we know what your body can take and upto how much.”
“Jaemin, first make her feel at ease or it will hurt her in a worst way.”
Jaemin hums softly in your ear. “You’re going to feel so good, my baby.”
You nod with eyes tight closed and Jaemin smiles while parting your head. Jeno spread and covered the hole with lube before sliding himself into you. As soon as Jeno entered to your back, you could feel a tear slide down your face when Jaemin wipes it off with a finger.
“You’re so fucking tight,”Jeno groans and his groggy voice letting out a moan from you. “Her ass is clenching around me and also sucking me in slowly..”
Your moans getting lost into the pillow and muffled noises could be heard when he is pounding inside you. Jaemin let go off tour hands when he feels you would no longer protest and the hands fell on both of your sides weakly. Jeno noticed it and a proud smile with a self satisfaction blooms inside him. They have totally wreck you under them inside their closed room. Your exhaustion visible on your face and seeing that Jeno increase his pace,
“Hang on for a little more, baby. I promise it’ll feel good.”
You gasp when Jeno’s cock hitting every inch of the hole and making your body squirm under him boosting his self esteem at your reactions. He gathers some of Jaemin’s cum leaking out of your entrance and rubs your clit.
“Such a pretty princess. You’re gonna feel good, baby, the way am loving to see tears straining and messing up with your make up ” he soothes you again and the way his pace is uneven you know he is near to his climax.
The stretch is so painful and tears continuously falling down your face at the feeling.
“So good, you’re doing so good.” Jeno praises.
Jaemin who’s presence was absent for a while spoke up.
“If I was not there to catch you while sneaking out of the house then you would have miss all these fun.”
Jeno’s hand sliding up and down your bare back to soothe your tensed muscles and also messaging the ass. With few thrusts, you both come undone.
Still buried deep inside, he leans down to leave feathery kisses on all over your back and praising in between. You feel someone removing your hairs from the face while patting your cheeks gently. You hum in response.
“Are you with us Y/N?”
“No more…please…I can’t.”
Jeno pulls himself out and Jaemin make you sit up and quickly changing your place from the bed on his lap. They rip away all the loosely hanging clothing from your body along with your heels.
“This one is last baby.”
“N-No,” you protest, body feeling completely exhausted. “I can’t. Please, I can’t.”
Jeno sits in front of you, cupping your face and pecking your forehead, nose and lips, “I told you to trust us. You will feel good and you are still being a good girl for us. It’ll be quick.”
While Jeno was distracting you, Jaemin’s lubed finger enters your hole to prepare and it’s still tight after being stretched out from Jeno. With a satisfied stretch, he signals Jeno to hold you down while he enters you and as soon as he slides himself inside, you scream out but Jeno shushes you with the kiss. This kiss is a gentle kiss unlike before and it is really distracting you from the pain which is slowly shifting into pleasure. Jaemin’s hand finds your pussy and dips a finger inside to collect your leaking cum. With few thrust when he has milked his fingers enough, he brings them to his lips to taste them and groans in pleasure.
“You were right Jeno. She is delicious.”
Not letting you to keep up with their conversation when Jeno slides himself to your entrance and you nearly sob due to them both filling you up at the same time. You have felt so full even when you have eaten food more than you can digest. This foreign feeling is not much painful but rather exciting you to know how does it feel when they start moving.
Them nodding to each other, starts moving. A burning sensation spread all over your body and slowly slowly shifting to tingling pleasures. Toes curling, fingers digging into the skin. Jaemin biting down your shoulders and Jeno nearly choking you with hands around your throat gently but not to make you uncomfortable.
They increase their pace with praises flowing like a waterfall from their lips to make you float at the top of this world. Your mouth hangs open and Jeno takes this chance to slide his thumb inside and press on your tongue. You invitingly suck his digit.
“Shit I can feel you, jeno.”
“Me too.” He reads your body and facial expressions before calling out to Jaemin, “I don’t think she will last enough. Do it fast.”
With some few more thrust, you come undone and rest yourself against the front of Jeno and Jaemin sliding his hands against your back. You whine due to overstimulation but soon they come and ride out their high.
Pulling out from you, you are totally exhausted and anytime, you would pass out. But still trying your best not to fall in slumber. Jaemin makes some space to lay you down properly in the middle of the bed and you hug his torso before he covers both of you with the blanket Jeno brings over to him.
Jaemin brushes away the hair from your face, gently turning your body so that all your tensed and constricted muscles feel at ease.
“My pretty baby,” he whispers and you smile in response. “Get some sleep. We will clean you and take care of everything.”
“What are we now?” You ask with hooded eyes and murmuring sound.
Jeno chuckles at you, finding your every action cute when you are sleepy. “Isn’t it obvious. You are ours now. You belong to us. only us. You can’t ignore us now.” He slides himself inside the blanket to your other side mimicking his brother’s pose. Both of their attention on the sleepy figure between them, admiring how you still manage to look the prettiest even in such a state of exhaustion.
“Keep it a secret from our parents.”
“We will see about that.”
“No but-“
“Shh,” Jaemin coos. “Get some rest.”
Will it be a secret forever? Can they really keep it a secret? What if everyone comes to know about you?
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @jaehunnyy @jaeminnanaaa17 @stolasisyourparent @bockhyun @b-a-nshee-blog @kundann
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
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cinefairy · 8 months
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How do you cope when u feel stuck in life?? I don’t think I’m looking for loa related advice but just advice in general.. it’s been months feeling so not able to give my best at anything not even trying and just resting. How do I get back up again?? It’s overwhelming seeing the world move forward and you’re witnessing it.
honestly i understand how you feel. whenever i felt stuck i just remember comparing myself to my friends, comparing myself to people i see online who seem like they’re having way more fun/fulfilment from life than i am and also my irl peers.
being stuck in the pattern of witnessing how much life is passing you by but not being able to do anything about it for whatever reason that you cant even put into words.
to try feel unstuck i would tell myself that its okay to just exist. i dont need to be constantly doing something with my life…its okay to just be and that is valid. great moments exist inside of ordinary moments— like opening your bedroom window and letting the cold air pass you by.
like letting yourself do something you really never do, it doesn’t even have to be something so extraordinary extreme it can be simple like you making yourself a dinner recipe you’ve never done before.
like going outside for a walk and spotting different flowers, plants. watching the ducks on the river move and interact with each other.
to remind yourself you exist at the same time as this beautiful world, you exist at the same time the mother bird comes down to feed her children.
you are here!! you are alive!! you are here!! at the same time love exists and surrounds you!!
tell yourself: I AM ALIVE. I AM YOUNG. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS FOR ME. I AM NO LONGER IN THE BACKSEAT OF MY OWN LIFE.
and breathe.
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fairuzfan · 2 months
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it's quite a dishonest framing that you say hussein was "regarding you with suspicion" baselessly even though you've publicly state on your blog how you believe zionism is an "intracommunity" discussion.
they at no point even mention that they blame you for "israel's actions". they assumed you were talking about zionism because of previous pointed statements you endorsed where you say zionism should be only discussed by jews. its not imagined, you straight up said this? and you claim that hussein is antisemitic for assuming you're saying the same thing again just with more inclusive language? And it coincided a few days after me posting that tributary post about "defining yourself as zionist or antizionist"? So he assumed that it was in relation to it? sure you might not have meant it about zionism this time, but with previous statements you've made/endorsed you don't exactly have the right to act like you have no idea why they would assume that and misconstrue this as an antisemitic attack where he's conflating zionism with judiasm when you literally agree that zionism should only be discussed by jews, which means you yourself are conflating zionism and judiasm.
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but ok, i guess, they were just taking your words out of context because they're "antisemitic". I even saw this ask last month and assumed you were talking about zionism in your recent post because of this statement you published and told him privately thats what i assumed you were talking about. Not because of you being jewish. But because i remembered this statement you agreed with because i was so offended reading it. And yeah it's a really bad statement that I'll remember because of how antipalestinian it is so sorry I don't think you get to claim the moral highground???? You didn't exactly disagree with any part of this person's statements?????
And like I would have left this alone but hussein often gets called antisemitic by people you associate with and reblog from, and it really shows how little compassion you all have for Palestinians (which btw as I say over and over, we have a right to point out harmful rhetoric that impacts us) who have a "knee-jerk reaction" to these things when we quite literally see our communities call for the deaths of our friends and family by starvarion and bombing in the name of zionism and when we call it out irl we get called antisemitic. You could have like sent an ask or publicly clarified your intentions but you just jumped straight to calling him antisemitic. Which the onus of responsibility is on YOU because of your previous statements. Why would we assume you mean something different based on past experiences???
Rhetoric like "zionism is an intracommunity issue" is stuff that has literally led to death of our loved ones so of course we have "kneejerk reactions" when there is literal proof of you saying these things before. We are not doing this because you're Jewish, we are doing this because we see and experience first hand this rhetoric and youre perpetuating it blatantly and you have people who follow you who look to you for perspective on "israel/palestine". It's so disingenuous to claim he's an antisemite when he's literally finding common talking points zionists perpetuate against us and call it out. And saying "I don't support the likud government or Westbank settlers" means nothing to us because our families were expelled from palestine before likud and settlers happened. Trying to separate modern day zionism from its colonial roots from the 1800s is at its core anti-palestinian, no matter what other conversations you want to have.
Again like the only reason this matters is because people follow you and look to you for perspective AND you reblog/interact with people we have pointed out as harmful. I literally would not care enough to make this post if i didnt see your posts spread enough times around here. So it's not because you're jewish and framing it like that is really dishonest when the person pointing this out was a palestinian who lost family due to zionism throughout multiple generations of their lives.
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kleinv01 · 4 months
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Hii, I've finished playing the demo and getting all the endings. It was so much fun! I really enjoyed the horror/thriller atmosphere! It really got me while I was playing, that made me enjoy even more. I also loved the characters and the love interests! While playing, Al really got my attention! Is there a way of getting more closer to him or make him being more comfortable around us? I want to talk to him more and know more about him. Guessing that his the one who gift us with snack and other things and putting in our work desk it's so cute, makes me want to retribute the favor
://SYSTEM_MESSAGE_ANSWERED
thank you so much for taking the time to play the game demo! i really appreciate your lovely message <3 though i do think i should just say this now because many people are looking forward to being able to romance al T_T
i've said it before that this vn has a lot more focus on its story rich and psychological horror themes ; the dating part is the secondary one, it's one of the reason why you can't simply 'romance' an LI like how it is in most dating sim games
this is also why i wanted to reveal the info that al is actually an LI only at a later part of the story and some of his even trivial informations are hidden for now >.< yes you'd still have interactions w him but you won't be able to enter al's route until at a later chapters bcs the story needs to progress first ... i don't have a definite date/time estimation because theres no definite deadlines for each chapter's release as i have other stuff to do as well irl, and i know this might disappoint some people who are interested in al because you'll have to wait longer than others do /// no matter what, though, i genuinely appreciate people's interest in the game and the characters <3333
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fipindustries · 3 months
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What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends … friends … friends …
'tis done, veritably so.
time for another round of "people that i care about a whole lot". i do these every other year since that is just about enough time to accumulate enough new friends to include in these.
lots of very new faces! and some people who should have been here long long ago were finally included. here i present you: @thecurioustale, working as always on his eponymous masterpiece, @obsidianchild, with whom i broke up recently but i still consider my bff irl, @utilitymonstergirl, wearing the proud face of her hellion isidore, @artbyblastweave, with his truculent creations, @sirartwork, doing a tribute to a picasso painting, @lipstickchainsaw, who was mentioned years ago in one of this but they finally get to participate, you humble artist, @lumsel, showcasing to me, their biggest fan, one of the best comics that anyone has ever done online, @dandelionwhiner, with her discord avatar since her tumblr avatar is far too abstract and finally @magic5ball, also as his discord avatar for much the same reasons.
i included some references to discord since its the platform where i most often interact with them, a little wanted poster for Laika Albarn, my favourite cancelled artist who has recently decided to retire her little series Limerence and a quick little nod at AI art, which has been so controversial as of lately in my circles.
i would like to make a quick shoutout to some of the people who didnt quite make the cut, @lilietsblog,@unmotivated-cosmere-nerd,@yumantimatter and @paradigm-adrift.
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spacelazarwolf · 8 months
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i just had a thought i am going to attempt to express but may not do so well
there’s a chance that the reason you attract so many assholes is because your jewish but “white”. people can be racist to you but if someone accuses them of racism they can claim that they cant be racist to you bc your white and obviously antisemitism isnt real as far as a concerning number of leftists are concerned
this makes you a prime target for white-supremacists/racists who dont want people to think they are
idk if this makes any sense and if it does its probably something you thought of and have mentioned already but it came into my head and I couldnt get it out
it's actually kind of fascinating bc no one on this website (save like two ppl i am friends with irl) actually knows what i look like. and someone who doesn't follow me or interact with any of my posts where i talk about my complicated relationship with race and ethnicity will have absolutely no idea about my background. i don't have any pictures of myself or indications in my bio or pinned post about whether or not i'm white. the only thing they see in my bio that they have to go off of is "jew" so their perception of my experience under white supremacy is entirely shaped by their preconception of jews.
if they think all jews are whiny, entitled white people who may have been oppressed a while ago but the holocaust is over stop milking it you're actually all privileged, then that's what i become. so any read of my posts will be through a lens of "whiny white guy who thinks he's oppressed."
if they think jews are conniving, corrupted subhumans who are conspiring against them, then that's what i become. my posts will be read through a lens of "predatory thing trying to infiltrate our community that we must protect ourselves from."
but of course, it doesn't just have to be either or. a lot of the time, it's both. the jew is simultaneously weak and pathetic, and aggressive and dangerous. which is why the rhetoric in a lot of posts about me or the discussions i'm part of sound.....Like That. bc the thing is, you don't have to be a bona fide white supremacist to have these be part of your subconscious biases. i've encountered people who are intensely dedicated to antiracist work, trans liberation, workers liberation, feminism, etc. who still hold these antisemitic biases. bc antisemitism predates every single one of these concepts, and people are simply not willing to go back that far for such a small group of people. so progressive spaces become a hotbed of antisemitism, and progressive jews are left with nowhere to go. and it sucks.
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