#i have so much to do at work and stuff due this friday lowkey stressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoshigray · 1 year

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hi! i’m not quite sure if you’re comfortable with this but could you do toji taking care of his bratty gf that’s on their period? no pressure especially if you’re not comfortable! thank you so much! <33

Oh, dw anon, I'm totally comfortable writing this kind of stuff, but thanks for checking with me tho c: Didn't know what approach to go with this, but felt like fluff would be the best fit (since ik not everyone's into period sex; perhaps an idea I can go back on later *shrugs*). Please enjoy, and I hope you like this! ♡ Also, this is 3 for 3 on the request streak, holy shit haha! Cw: Toji x fem!reader - fluff - Toji trying to be a good bf and lowkey domestic - the reader is a lil whiny, but Toji still loves you - tummy massages!! - some light-hearted comedy; reader trying to annoy Toji lol - pet names (baby, sweetie, princess) - just you and Toji being a couple :3 Wc: 1.1k

"Toji?"

The man hums but doesn't turn to you, watching the television from the floor while you lay on the couch.

You try again. "Tojiiiiii~"

He rolls his eyes at your sing-song attitude, finally turning to your face. "Yeah, baby?"

"Would you please add more water to the kettle for me? My water bottle's getting cold, and my feet hurt."

With a huff, he gets up and walks to the kitchen. "Sure thing, sweetie." You hum into your couch pillow while wiggling on the water bag you're lying on, taking in whatever's left of the lukewarm storage bottle.

Today has been quite a busy day on your end. Amid two midterms, a group project, and a paper due at 11:45 p.m. tomorrow, you still have work to do today. And to top it all off, your period started two days ago, meaning you're suffering as of now. Not only is stress from college drowning you, but your body makes the pressure tenfold more painful to the point of wanting to shut down.

This is why you've spent your Friday afternoon cooped in your apartment and avoided talking with or seeing anyone, trying to focus on your work while dealing with your personal predicament. Especially texting your boyfriend, Toji, that you won't be able to see him for dinner at his favorite ramen place.

Nevertheless, the older man comes knocking on your door with a bag full of your favorites from the restaurant, saying he'll just spend the night with you at your place and help with whatever you need. Though you tried to decline his offer, his company has been very comforting.

However, since he came here with sincere intentions, you want to test his patience. With a cheeky smile pulling your lips, you start your act.

You hear Toji press the button to heat the water up, his heavy steps prominent of his return to you in the living space. He plops back down on his place on the floor, leaning against the couch you're lying on and putting his attention back on the TV.

Well, he tries to.

"Tojiiii~," You see the rise and fall of his shoulder sync with the heavy exhale escaping through his nose. Giggles are stifled, but your smile is wide when he looks back at you with one brow scrunched down.

A stern "What?" is thrown in your direction.

A tiny giggle slips out. "Can you please massage my tummy?"

He looks dead at your face before he scoffs. "Do I look like your personal maid or somethin'?"

"No, you're my wonderful, handsome, and caring boyfriend," You bring a foot up to tap his shoulder, to which Toji grumbles. To his dismay, you continue to tease him with your poking. "As a caring boyfriend, you should attend to your lady when she is in insufferable pain."

"Poke me with your toes again, and I'll chew 'em off." Okay, that's when you stop pestering the older man, holding in your laughter as he scowls with a devilish smirk. Another huff of air exits his lungs before he gets up from his spot once again, and you reposition yourself for him to sit on the couch facing you. He places the water bottle on the floor. "You got your own hands, doncha?"

"Of course, but I asked for your hands." He glares at you though you pay it no mind, lifting your shirt to pat your stomach. "Now, massage me!"

Toji shakes his head yet lifts his hands and places them on your exposed abdomen, calloused and scarred fingers squeezing your plush skin. "So annoyin', ya fuckin' brat." You blow a raspberry. "I shoulda stayed at the ramen joint."

"Pfft, please, you know you don't go there alone anymore. Might've gotten bored and brought yourself here regardless." You close your eyes and sink into the feeling of the man's fingers rubbing your stomach.

He only replies with a small 'hmph' and continues with the task thrown onto him.

This continues for a few moments, and you enjoy the man's hands roaming your belly. His palms and fingers' rough yet gentle manner makes you feel like the cramps are no longer a problem. It feels so pleasant. Curious, you open an eye to stare at the man before you.

The look on Toji's face displays nothing but pure focus, looking at his work as he massages you. Raven bangs cast shade from the ceiling lights. The man had soft emerald eyes, yet keen as they zero in on your physique as he skilfully kneads your abdomen with his digits. His lips are kept in a neutral line, and you can't help but look at his scar when he licks his teeth.

The more you examine him, the more you realize just how lucky you are to see this side of him. And maybe how lucky you are to have such a man deal with you even during times like this.

"Whatcha lookin' at me for, princess?"

Toji's gruff voice snaps you back, realizing he caught you surveying him. A grin dashed on his face. You decide to toy with him one more time. "Oh, Tojiiiii."

The smirk immediately disappears, replaced with a look that screams mild annoyance. You let out a burst of laughter, rocking your head back and forth and laughing harder every time you peer back at his face. "Fucking what now, ya damn brat?" He doesn't try to hide the irritation in his voice, and you can feel him glare holes into you while you laugh into your hands.

You calm yourself down, speaking in chuckles. "You know I love you, right?

"Shut the hell up." Not a single change to his face.

"No, I—pfffthaha," giggles escape your lips as you try to center yourself to speak appropriately, placing your hands on his big ones that rest atop your tummy. "I mean it, I really do! I appreciate you coming here and dealing with me and my whiny ass. If you hadn't been here, I'd probably be rotting in my bed right about now. I love you, so thank you for watching out for me."

Toji's face slowly molds away from his peeved expression, now relaxed and exhibitng a look of slight astonishment. You can make out a tiny shade of pink under his eyes and earlobes, yet you choose not to point it out to showcase your seriousness with a loving smile. He scoffs, shakes his head, and leans close to your face.

"You're somethin' else, ya know that, kid?" He flicks your forehead, resulting in you groaning from the diminutive mistreatment. But he quickly places a kiss when you're done squirming from the pain. "I love ya too, baby. Always."

You beam at him. "Even when I'm whiny?"

Finally, he laughs. "Yeah, even when yr' whiny. My whiny, annoyin', cute-ass princess."

"I said whiny, not annoying."

"Whatever." The two of you exchange laughs and kisses on the couch, completely disregarding your assignments and the kettle ready with hot water. It doesn't matter nor compare with the adoration you experience from him right now, so you indulge yourself for as long as you can.

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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years

Text

Forgive Me

Summary: It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.

Word Count: 4.8k+ Words

Pairing: Natsuo x Reader (21+)

Warnings: blood, death, gang organization involvement, gun use, sexual content, explicit language, and angst

A/N: First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN MAN NATSUO TODOROKI!! And I also want to say thank y’all so much for 2k followers! You make my heart ache. To celebrate, I wrote this self-indulgent mafia au fanfic that nobody asked for. I honestly just wanted to write Todorokis involved in organized crime.

All the Japanese in here is from Google Translate. It most likely butchered it, so I’m sorry about that. I tried.

Some things to mention: *Yakuza: Basically, the Japanese mafia *Oyabun: The leader of the organization *Onna-Oyabun: The spouse of the leader. It really translates to the “wife.” I tried to keep things gender neutral, however, I couldn’t find a gender neutral term for this. Please forgive me!

Thank you for ridin with me, y’all! Enjoy this one, hotties ❤️

Forgive Me

All Natsuo had ever wanted for you was normalcy. Call it wishful thinking—his siblings called it naivety. However, there was nothing more the young successor wished for than for you to have the life you deserved. One filled with love, laughter, and smiles. Not tears, blood, and bullets.

He wanted you to be able to come from work or class with a head full of things for the two of you to gossip about over dinner and ice cream. He wanted to be able to cancel his day and take you to that one amusement park you always talked about. He wanted the petty arguments about whose turn it was to do the dishes and whose brownie recipe was better.

Natsuo wanted that for you. Not this.

Your shared room suddenly felt cold and rigid as he stood by the doorway. The sight of your body curled into the sheets, hoping the mattress would swallow you up, made his heart ache. There was no movement except for the slow rise of your breathing as you stared at the wall next to the bed.

Natsuo’s grey eyes focused on the bandage patched to your ear and was brought back to the events prior. An event that had been the reason why he couldn’t have spent the evening in your arms.

[Earlier]

Since having been introduced into the Todoroki lifestyle, life had been hectic. You had been ripped away from your normalcy and propelled into the yakuza* game. It was seeped in cruelty, darkness, and evil that would make you spend nights shivering.

Ever since you had been engaged to Natsuo, your exposure only grew worse. Your fiancé would spend nights apologizing, but you’d only quiet him with a kiss and a small joke.

It wasn’t his fault. His older brother, Touya, was “deceased”. It was against tradition for Fuyumi to have it, and Shouto was too young. He would have to be the next Oyabun* and, despite his unwillingness, there was nothing anyone could do about it.

But that wasn’t something to dwell on. Especially today. Today, you had plans to go shopping with Fuyumi and Shouto and end the night with some well-deserved quality time with your husband-to-be. You had rarely seen anyone due to yakuza activity, so this was something you were looking forward to.

You smoothed down your outfit, adjusting your watch in the mirror. You gave yourself a nod, liking what you saw.

Natsuo came from around the corner, eyeing you with a glint you knew all too well. He apparently liked what he saw too.

“Hi,” he said, smiling into your kiss.

“Hey,” you grinned. You flattened the collar of his shirt where his tattoo peeked from his neck. “You look good.”

He was quick to respond. “You look better.”

“You flatter me,” you chuckled. “Did you pick where we’re eating for dinner later?”

“I made reservations for the seafood restaurant you like so much. The one with the lights by the ocean.”

“Oooo with the parmesan crusted flounder and the stuffed oysters?”

He hummed a yes and laughed as you did a little dance expressing your excitement. You couldn’t wait to stuff your face. While being classy of course.

“What time?”

“6:30. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that should give ‘Yumi, ShoSho, and I enough time to shop around.” You turned to the mirror to put some last-minute touches to your hair. “We still have to find an outfit for your mother’s event Friday. You know your brother’s a lowkey diva about that stuff so it’s gonna take hours.”

A sudden slap on your ass made you yelp and just as you were about to cuss him out, Natsuo captured your lips in a kiss that made your knees buckle. He slowly explored your mouth, committing every taste to memory. Your hands massaged the nape of his neck and it had him growling in your ear.

“Why don’t you skip the shopping today and we can start on dinner now?” he suggested, loving the moan he got from you as he sucked on your neck.

As much as you adored the offer, you weren’t going to pass up the chance to get out of the house. You’d been cooped up in there for too long. Not even his dick could get you out of this.

You pushed him off of you, laughing as he bit the air between you, trying to put his lips back on you.

“Nat—Natsuo. Stop it. I promised them I’d go shopping today, so no. Besides, I’m already running late. I was supposed to meet them at 1 and it’s 1:30.”

“But you just look so good, baby.” He managed to pull you flush against his chest, mischief in his eyes. You gave him a look when his hands went to go grab a handful of your ass. “I’m sure they won’t mind if you're just an hour more late,” he said, going back to lay claim to your lips.

If last night’s sex was a testament to anything, you’d be here for much longer than an hour. If you didn’t get your ass to the car, you’d be stuck at home and his siblings would have your head.

“Boy, if you don’t get off me, I’ll tell Fuyumi you’re keeping me hostage again. She’ll sick Shouto on you,” you threatened.

At the thought of his sister and brother’s nagging, he rolled his eyes and backed off. “Ugh, you’re such a killjoy. Fine, whatever.” You hummed in triumph and turned to walk away. Natsuo gave another hard slap to your backside again and you sent him back a glare that made him smirk.

“Natsu,” you warned.

“You better get in the car quick before I really decide to keep you here.”

“Keep it in your pants, horndog,” you bit.

“Keep that ass away and we won’t have problems,” he playfully retorted.

You smacked your teeth but hid the growing smile on your lips. That man would be the death of you.

…

Despite your wishes, you ended up being an hour late. Natsuo tried to play innocent underneath his siblings’ threats but stopped the act once they pointed out the growing hickey on your neck.

He was waved off, much to his chagrin, when he told the three of you to be wary of your surroundings and reminded you of the security guards that would be following close by. He finally left for his meeting with few choice words and a kiss promising his return.

Fuyumi grabbed your arm and gave you a smile that was contagious. “Now that Natsu stopped hogging you, we can finally hang out!” she cheered. “The outlet just opened up a few new stores we’ve been eyeing for a while now!”

Shouto nodded in agreement. “I’ve been waiting all week to use my father’s credit card.”

“Didn’t you buy a fur coat yesterday—”

“That’s besides the point.”

Once Shouto took your other arm, the three of you spent your time going from store to store. At first, the objective was to find outfits for the party Friday, however you three had become easily distracted with the sight of a smoothie stand.

A couple hours had gone by, and not much was done. Although you might have wasted time (and money) shopping at miscellaneous stores, neither one of you cared.

It had been so long since you laughed so freely. With Endeavor across the ocean, things were steadily heating up. Enemies took his leave as an open shot and the Todoroki siblings were obliged to reinforce why their family reigned supreme. Due to that, it seemed no one could go a day without stressing over something.

Between that and Natsuo’s near-obsessive mission to keep you safe and away from the details of the yakuza, you were forced to stay in the house twiddling your thumbs with constant security around you.

Feeling so useless drove you crazy. No matter how many times you tried to get your fiancé to let you help, he would always give you a firm no. Fuyumi and Shouto tried their best to keep you out of it as well. Even Dabi warned you about wanting something so dangerous.

It was frustrating, but you tried to understand. Regardless, having the chance to hang out with your friends like old times was a saving grace and you’d enjoy it to its fullest.

Eventually, you three made it to the boutiques and clothing departments. Shouto had already gotten a suit tailored so it was left with you and Fuyumi.

Your soon-to-be sister-in-law found an extravagant gown that stole your breath. The crimson dress hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating the softness of her feminine figure and the coolness of her kind eyes. It was beautifully bold statement speaking to the fire within Fuyumi many seemed to miss. But no one would overlook that spirit with a dress like that. Her measurements were taken, and the dress was quickly swiped off the rack and sent to the tailor.

Your clothing didn’t come easy. Fuyumi was indecisive and Shouto was a harsh critic.

“Hmm, that one’s too much.”

“Nope, not enough.”

“Too loose.”

“Too tight.”

“No.”

“Hell no.”

“I’m pretty sure someone from the Nanu family wore that in 2016. Next.”

It had taken nearly an entire hour before the three of you found your outfit. Something that had caught your eye was soon being shimmied over your body. When you stepped out of the dressing room, you were relieved when Fuyumi nearly cried and Shouto’s bi-colored eyes twinkled with satisfaction. The material was comfortable on your body and the pigment made your skin color brilliantly glow. It moved and swayed like it was meant for you. It just felt right.

“That’s the one,” Shouto smiled.

“You think so?” you asked, checking over the detailing.

“You’re going to steal the show, as always, Y/N,” Fuyumi gushed. “The most beautiful Onna-Oyabun* the yakuza have seen this generation.”

At the mention of the word, you casted your eyes downward. “Right. I’m going to be the new Onna-Oyabun,” you sighed.

The two Todorokis caught the heaviness of your tone and looked at one another in sadness. They were privy to the burdens of this family and the titles that came along with it. Your reaction wasn’t abnormal, but the despondent gleam in your eyes was still hard to sit with.

“Y/N—”

The sound of Shouto’s phone cut off his words. As he listened to the quiet words from the other line, his eyes began to harden. The store clerk kept you busy, but Fuyumi noticed his sudden rigidness.

Her brother’s eyes flicked towards the door and she caught the sight of more their bodyguards surrounding the boutique, hands on their weapons.

There were a few more words said before Shouto spoke.

“Anata wa mōru o torikakonde imasu. Natsuo wa 5-bu de soto de aimasu.” (Keep the mall surrounded. Natsuo will meet us outside in five minutes.)

Fuyumi met her brother’s eyes once more and understood the situation.

“So, the seamstress said she’ll tighten around the waist and add more fabric to the end. It’ll be ready by tomorrow evening,” you said to them.

Shouto excused himself while Fuyumi walked towards you, a practiced smile on her lips.

“Perfect. Now let’s get you changed and out for your date. Natsuo will be here any minute.”

…

The car ride to the restaurant was filled with your rambling about the day and Natsuo’s usual teasing. When he got into the car after speaking with his siblings, he seemed very tense. So you were happy you were able to get him to relax. Work must’ve put him on edge, and you were determined to let the rest of your night come stress free.

When you got there, he helped you out of the car and you made your way to the door. You were surprised to see who was standing by the entrance.

“Dabi?”

“Hey there, doll,” he said behind an easy smirk. He kissed the back of your hand. “Still see you’re with this punk. Tragic.”

You tried to hide your giggle as Natsuo punched his brother’s shoulder.

“Back off, brick-face. Lookin’ like a burnt raisin.”

“You wound me,” Dabi faux gasped.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

Although Dabi kept his eyes on you, he felt his brother’s stare on his face.

“Just doing some patrol. Heard you were coming around and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hi to my new favorite Todoroki,” he responded coolly.

You quirked your brow at that. “Did something happen?”

Dabi opened the door. “Nah, nothing you need to worry about. You just enjoy your dinner for me, yeah?”

Before you could say anything more, you felt the man behind you place his hand on your lower back and guide you into the restaurant. You didn’t miss the order he hissed to his brother before closing the door behind him.

You had to learn Japanese one of these days, damn it.

As you stood in line to be seated, you eyed your fiancé.

“I know something’s going on,” you spoke.

Natsuo didn’t even flinch. “What do you mean?”

“Why’s Dabi here?”

“You heard what he said. For patrol.”

“Patrol for what? He doesn’t just police the area for no reason.”

“It was just on some small case we’ve been working on. No biggie,” he shrugged.

You frowned at his play of innocence. You were getting kind of tired of this. “You know how much I hate being kept in the dark…”

“It’s nothing you have to concern yourself with, babe. I’ve got it handled.”

“Natsuo—”

“Y/N, please.”

You watched his shoulders sag a bit from the heavy sigh that left his mouth. If you hadn’t been watching, you would’ve missed the fatigue that flashed across his face. To see someone usually so upbeat look so tired made your chest ache.

You knew you were being pushy, but all the secrets were piling up and your curiosity was starting to become insatiable.

“I…I just want to help,” you softly admitted. “I don’t mean to be annoying.”

“You’re not being annoying,” he answered in a heartbeat. Natsuo pulled you close and kissed your temple, feeling comforted by your smell. “I know all these secrets drive you crazy, but I’m trying to protect you.”

You placed a hand on his cheek to which he placed a kiss to your palm. “And I want to lessen your burden. We’re in this together, baby. You don’t have to handle all of this alone anymore.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. He stared into your eyes for a moment before gently smiling down at your hopeful gaze. “How ‘bout this? We forget about all this yakuza stuff whiles we’re here, and as soon as we get home, I’ll fill you in on my meeting today. Sound fair?”

It wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. Besides, you could see how eager he was to forget about the topic. The focus of this night was about having fun, so you would drop it for now.

You pecked his lips and nodded in agreement. “Deal.”

“Bet.”

The hostess met you two just as you pulled away from one another. She led you to your table where you had a clear view of the beach behind the crystal glass. Your waitress, an older woman with a smile that felt safe, got you settled in.

“My name is Jane and I’ll be serving you today. May I get your drinks?”

Natsuo looked to you. “Wine?”

You made a thoughtful face. “Yeah. Sure. Something on the sweeter side.”

“Bring us Moet Chandon Dom Perignon. 2008.”

“Yes, sir,” she bowed before going to retrieve the drinks.

You frowned in confusion, the bran unknown to you. That was before your eyes scanned over the wine listing. You choked on your spit.

That bottle could pay rent.

Rich people were crazy.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Something in my throat,” you coughed.

After the waitress brought your drinks and you placed your orders (you both ordered enough for eight but what’s new?), you and Natsuo spent your time talking and laughing.

It was like old times. He was the jokester, throwing out horrible pick-up lines with a terrible pun to match. You’d tease him, snickering when he’d whine about how sensitive he was.

You missed this. A lot.

Your previous grievances left your mind. Like he said, for now, you’d forget about the yakuza. The carefree smile on your fiancé’s face, the one that reminded of you of just how young he really was, was beautiful. He was only 23 and dealing with so much. You wanted this expression of freedom to remain for as long as possible.

“The ‘Saw’ series wasn’t even that scary. It was just really gross,” you said.

“Fair. But the one with the teeth was kinda scary. Saw 3 I think? I couldn’t sleep for like, five days,” Natsuo shivered.

“Okay, yeah. That one was…ew,” you agreed. “But remember ‘The Human Centipede’? Now that was some creepy shit. I couldn’t eat cereal for a month.”

Natsuo visibly paled, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Nah for real, bro. I’ll never watch that shit again. I feel like it was some big, grotesque, sexual innuendo.”

You gave him a flat look.

“What the fuck, Natsu.”

“No, listen! Remember the part where they took the hammer and—"

“Your food, Mr. Todoroki and Mr/s. L/N,” Jane interrupted. A questioning look flashed across her face but you two just stifled your laughs.

The other waiters laughed as they stood behind her with the food in their hands.

You were eyeing the hell out of those oysters.

“Here we have the lobster bisque, the shrimp tacos, the stuffed oysters—”

“I’ll take that one, please!” you excitedly clapped.

“Excellent choice.”

“And you say I’m a child,” Natsuo snorted.

You threw a glare his way. “Little boy, if you don’t—”

And just as your day had been filled with laughter, the sound of one bullet tore through that illusion.

It was as if the world had stilled for a moment. Then, there was screaming and the onslaught of gunpower. There were so many men in dignified suits running in and out of the restaurant. You hadn’t even blinked before two waiters dropped to the ground, piled beneath the food they were holding.

Two shots rang near your table, and you felt a string of fresh blood paint the sides of your face and a burning sensation on your left ear. Two hands held the table and the back of your chair, body a shield from the bullets.

You slowly looked up and saw Jane’s bright blue eyes wide with surprise. There was a moment of silence as her bottom lip wavered, wanting to say something.

However, her last breath slipped through her lips as you watched the life dull in her cerulean irises.

That bullet was meant for you. That bullet was meant to kill you and instead…instead…

When she fell onto you, dead, that’s when you screamed.

At some point, Natsuo had gotten you into his arms. His body was ice cold as he used his quirk to protect you and carry you out. He was shouting orders and curses while trying to coax you out of your numbness. However, you couldn’t hear anything.

The stench of blood was strong. You saw how the bodies of innocent men, women, and children laid piled on the floor. They bled out; their lives taken from them before they even had the chance to think about it.

You closed your eyes when you saw blue and red flames lick the ground. You had seen enough.

Somehow, you had gotten outside and away from the warzone. Natsuo carried you into the car.

“Doraibu!” he thundered. (Drive!)

The driver took off with speed that made our backs hit the seats. Once he hit the main streets, miles away from the scene, Natsuo took his hand off the gun and quelled his quirk.

His phone lit up and it wasn’t long before he blew up at whoever was on the other end. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him use a tone so mean and angry. He roared into the phone, his words foreign to your ears. However, you couldn’t concentrate on that.

The shock of what just occurred struck your body numb. The ringing in your ears hadn’t stopped since the first bullet. You could still smell the blood and the bodies. Jane’s lifeless eyes would haunt you forever.

The same bullet that tore into her heart was meant for you. Whoever shot that, was aiming to kill. Kill you. But instead, Jane had taken that place. For what reason, you didn’t know. But she did.

You didn’t know which one was worse.

Bile rose in the back of your throat and you let out a shaky breath.

You could do nothing else but hold your head.

Natsuo had gotten off the phone and looked over at you in silence. His grey eyes stormed with pain from the way your shoulders hunched over in grief.

He reached for you. “Y/N, sweetheart—”

You flinched away as his fingertips ghosted your skin.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you seethed.

He quickly withdrew his hands.

“Are…are you okay?” he slowly spoke.

The glare you gave him made him avert his eyes in anguish.

“Am I okay? You’re asking me if I’m okay!?”

“I just want to make sure you’re not hurt,” he thickly swallowed.

“Are you serious, Natsuo!? I just saw twenty people die in front of me and you’re asking if I’m okay!??”

Guilt drowned him, but you just couldn’t seem to care at the moment as rage took over your body.

“I asked you to tell me what was going on. I’ve been fucking begging you to keep me up to date so I can just be prepared for when things like this happen!”

“I know.”

“If I had just known someone was trying to take me out, I would’ve stayed the fuck home, but you wouldn’t tell me and now there’s people DEAD!!”

“I know. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Fuck your sorry!” you roared. “Fuck you, Natsuo! Sorry won’t bring those people back!”

Your voice was beginning to grow hoarse but screaming felt good. It was the only thing that felt real even as it took you to hysteria.

“I know those bullets were meant for me! They wanted to—to—oh my God!” Your breathig grew erratic as it all dawned on you. “I’m supposed to be dead! They wanted to kill me! I can’t! I can’t do this!”

Natsuo felt his heart break with every sob that ripped from your mouth. He wanted so badly to hold you and take you away from all of this. However, he knew better.

For the entire car ride and throughout the time it took for the nurses to patch you up, you hadn’t allowed him to touch you. You even ignored him until he was forced to leave you to rest.

When he told you he loved you, it hurt like hell to see you wordlessly disappear behind the bedroom door. That pain was what later fueled him back to the scene of the crime and into doing things to the captured enemies he would never utter to anyone that wasn’t there.

Fuyumi and Shouto couldn’t look him in his eyes for the rest of the day. It was Dabi, as heartless as he was, that told him it was enough.

He would give anything to give you what you deserved, a life without pain and death. But that’s not how it worked. Not in this life.

He knew that, yet, he had been selfish and took you for himself. Now, this was the result. Your life in unremitting danger because of who he was.

The agonized screams of dry ice burning away flesh constantly played in his head. It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.

[Present]

Natsuo’s heavy stare caused you to shift. As he changed into pajamas, you looked at the clock. It was 2am.

You hadn’t realized it was so late.

You felt a heavy dip in the bed and watched your fiancé carefully settle into the sheets. His face was clean of blood and dirt, so he must've showered before coming back home.

A pregnant pause filtered between you two. As you continued to stare at one another, you could see his façade slip with each passing second. The blank front he was so skilled at putting up melted as his eyes continued to pass over the bandages. His eyes sunk and the skin around them was dark with wear. He looked exhausted.

The anger that had once bristled inside of you had given way to melancholy a long time ago. You felt so empty and lonely with the dark thoughts that circled in your head. Sleep wasn’t an option if you wanted to avoid the nightmares that would plague you.

The two of you scooted closer to one another. Natsuo was the first to speak. He spoke in a voice so small, you almost missed it.

“Can I touch you?”

“Please,” you whispered.

Soon enough, you were in his arms, chin on his shoulder as he peppered the junction between your neck and collarbone with kisses. You relished in his hands exploring your body, missing how he just seemed to swallow you up.

“I love you, Y/N,” he breathed.

“I love you too, Natsuo.”

Much of the night was spent reminding yourselves of the other’s touch. Natsuo drew your lips captive, his tongue overtaking you with dizzying pleasure. You couldn’t keep track of where his mouth was. Whether it was on your lips, on your stomach, or in between your legs, you savored how good it felt.

Soon, his low growls and moans were hot against your ears. Your nails ran down Natsuo’s back as his hips swam into you, taking his time to rememorize how you felt around him. The bed creaked along with your moans. You threw your head back and gripped whatever you could hold of him during your lovemaking.

It seemed you’d reach your high over and over again. You could never get enough of each other. There was something intoxicating about how his tongue would roll over yours as he pounded into you, staking claim over your body as he gave himself to you until he couldn’t.

When your bodies couldn’t go any longer, you just lied underneath the sheets. Natsuo lied on top of you, head on your chest and listened to your heartbeat. You pushed back his sweaty bangs, staring down at him.

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until his thumbs went to swipe past your cheeks.

“Damn it,” you hiccupped.

Natsuo let his vulnerability slip. “I know they’re just words, but I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said. His voice cracked and it was your turn to catch the tears that fell from his eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“No, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was just…”

“Just what?”

A fresh wave of images from today filled the forefront of your mind. Those pictures did something to you. A switch was flicked.

Your voice caught in your throat and your eyes pinched as more tears filled them. However, these were not tears of fright, rather tears of animosity. The anger you thought had left you had turned into something worse. Something much darker.

Natsuo saw that look many times before in his own reflection. Vengeance. Pure, unadulterated, vengeance. And as much as he hated it, it was the gas that incited his own flame.

“Natsuo,” you spoke like you were about to tell a secret. You slowly swallowed the ball in your throat.

“What is it, baby? Tell me what it is you want.”

The words that left your mouth felt different, but you would never regret them.

“Whoever it was, whoever was behind this, I want them gone,” you instructed, voice stone cold. “For every child lost, I want ten of their heads. For all our men they took, I want their bodies burned. For the life they took from Jane, I want their blood on the street. Today, they took their stance when they tried to kill me.”

You held his face and fell into his gaze with hard eyes. In those grey irises, you saw a man that would stand against an army for you. It gave you the courage to say your order.

“And for that, I want the entire yakuza dead.”

The glint in his eye matched your own and you knew there was no turning back. Natsuo nodded without a second thought. There was nothing to think about. He’d give you the entire world or burn it down at the flick of your hand.

“Yes, my Onna-Oyabun. Your wish is my command.”

He sealed the deal with a kiss.

“This is war.”

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toxicxxmyth · 5 years

Text

The Truth Untold; Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan

Summary: Y/n Y/l/n, born and raised in south side Chicago. Now raising her five younger siblings, she’s not even sure if some of them are actually related to her. But she takes care of them nonetheless, as best as she can. While her drunk father continues to make their life harder. And her drug addicted mother comes bursting through the door once every to years. Its a chaotic life for a 23 year old, but she made it work. Until one day, the most notorious mob leaders of the country shows up to do some business in the south side.

Au: Shameless!Au, Mafia!Sebastian

Warning(s): Cussing, slight smut, poverty, drugs etc

Word Count: 3,047

A/N: This is literally a Shameless fanfic, if you’ve seen the show, AMAZING, if not than you should because its amazing.

A/N 2: Plus this lowkey kinda sucks lol, so watching the show will make up for it.

A/N 3: I didn’t write the whole smut cause i suck at it, but i’ll try my best if you guys ask for it.

prima întâlnire

The whole club glowed with blue and green laser beams shooting out from the rotating lights on the ceiling. Smoke coming out of both ends of the dance floor, the bar area seemed to be the only calm part of the club. It was Friday night and the club was beyond packed with people dancing dirty in the middle of the club. The air was thick, a mixture of the fog machine and marihuana clouds. Making it slightly hard to breathe. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Except you, apparently. Stress radiated off you as you sat, tensed at the bar. Watching as the bartender scrambled back and forth to take orders from everyone who crowded the bar. You couldn’t possibly have fun when your father arrived after months of his little rendezvous of drugs and alcohol. Causing even more chaos in your home.

“Y/n, I’m going to need you to get off your ass and start having some fun” Camille stutters over to you, making you lose your train of thoughts.

“Nah, I think I’ll head home for the night” You shrugged, grabbing your purse and downing your drink.

“What!? The whole point of taking you to the club was for you to loosen up, Y/n/n” She whines, bringing her hands up to rub your bare and tensed shoulders, a pout adorning her red lips. Making you shake your head with a slight smile at the drunken state of your best friend.

“I have to get back to the kids. It’s kind of hard to have fun when all I can think about is Ethan blowing up the kitchen” You sigh, wincing at the thought of your little brother destroying your kitchen for one of his stupid experiments.

“Fine, I’ll take you. It’s no fun without you” She huffs while turning around dramatically. Causing a giggle to rip from your throat. “Don’t move, I’m getting my stuff”

“You don’t have to though, I can just take the bus. You should stay and have fun with your coworkers” You reassured her as she raised an eyebrow at you.

“At 1:34am, Y/n, I think the fuck not” She gave you a look as if warning you to stay put.

Your lip caught between your teeth as you watch your best friends stumble across the club, a smile on your lip as you thought how lucky you were to have such an amazing friend like her. Grabbing your purse to take a few dollars out to pay for your drink, your felt lips against the shell of your ear, and with a husky voice, he spoke.

“I can feel your stress all the way across the room”

You turned around quickly, eyebrows raised ready to tell the guy off, only to stop and gasp loudly. Your eyes wide and mouth agape, lucky for you, the music was booming loud so the chance of him hearing your deep gasp was slim to none.

He’s beautiful, to say the least. The lights didn’t seem to bother you anymore as you analyzed every feature on the man. He had deep blue eyes, ones you could easily lose yourself into. Prominent cheekbones, his facial hair was growing out, causing your thoughts to wonder off to inappropriate scenarios. His lips where a light shade of pink, looking delicious as ever. He was older, maybe in his thirties, but you couldn’t tell. His whole body covered in black designer, he was expensive.

“Um, I-” You stuttered, brows furrowed in confusion, you’ve never seen this man in your life.

“What is it? Cat caught your tongue” He smirked, bringing his glass full of scotch to his lips. Cocky motherfucker.

You scoffed at his attitude, biting your bottom lip to surpass a smile. You didn’t know if you wanted to punch him or ride his dick into the sunset.

“And who the hell are you? My stalker?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you gained your composer as you got a clue on what type of guy you may be dealing with.

“No, no stalker here. I couldn’t help but notice your lack of interest of for being here tonight” He smiles kindly, catching you off guard.

“Yeah, well clubs aren’t really my thing, feel like I have better things to do” You nod your head, turning away from him, looking at one of the bottles that was placed on the wall along the others as if it was the most interesting thing there. Anything to look away from the beautiful stranger.

“Yeah? Like what?” He asked, downing his drink while calling over the bartender to order a new one, you assumed.

“Finding a job without having to blow the manager” You simply stated. Causing him to chuckle. His smile was absolutely breathtaking.

“What’s you name” He asked, which felt more of a statement, actually.

“Uh Y/n. Yours?” You looked up at him, only to be met face to face with his beautiful eyes.

“Sebastian”

Sebastian, even his name is attractive.

“So what brings you to south side Chicago?” You asked. Interested in why such a wealthy looking man would end up in this dump.

“Business.” He shrugged, voice lowering as he said it. Eyebrows raised at you as if warning you not to ask anymore, which exactly what you did. You wouldn’t show it, but his demanding tone scared the shit out of you, but weirdly enough, it turned you the fuck on.

“Let me buy you a drink” He offers.

“I can’t, I uh have to get back to my kids” You shake your head and getting up from the stool. Ready for his surprised face a stuttering words at the mention of five kids. But to your surprise, he was unfazed.

“Kids?” He asked, pulling out his wallet, taking out big cash as he dumped it on the counter for the barista to take. Making your eyes wind just a bit.

“They’re actually my siblings, but they’re still kind of my kids” You confirmed while nodding your head. His eyes ranking your body, you felt small under his gaze, making you feel insecure.

“Let me guess” He began, clearing his throat as he ripped his gaze away from yours.

“First born, OD’d mom, alcoholic father. Leaving you to raise your siblings, you had to grow up at a young age, at maybe” He stops and raises his hands in defense “and this is just a guess, 13, maybe? Didn’t finish high school cause of your deadbeat parents and you’re currently jobless, stealing and scamming for food and clothes in the meantime” He finishes while looking at you with a small smile.

You couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief. Wondering if you should be offended by the assumption or impress by how spot on he was.

“Mom didn’t OD though, haven’t seen her in years. But I do know that she’s out living her best life. And I was actually 6 when I realized my parents didn’t give a shit. Ended up raising my two brothers. Then came the rest” You sigh, somewhat sadly at the situation you were in at such a young age, but you loved your siblings nonetheless.

“Must’ve been tough” He gave you a sad smile, taking a sip out of his drink.

“Yeah, but I got used to it pretty quick”

“Well it seems like you know everything about me, so why don’t you tell me about yourself. I bet it’s much more interesting than my shitty life” You chuckled, hoping to get some kind of information about what kind of business he was running here.

“It’s really crawdad in here, let’s go outside” He moved his head to point at the door.

“No” You simply stated. Earning a look of shocked and surprised from the dominant male. Which boosted your ego just a little.

“This is how things work. I walk out with you, you tell me your oh so tragic childhood which causes me to pity you. Soon, once I’m under your spell, you chloroform me and a white van appears out of nowhere and I’ll be part of a illegal sex and drug trafficking ring” You smiled innocently at him.

“I’d actually be much more creative in kidnapping people”

You didn’t know if he was being funny or serious, but it made you feel a mixture of fear and desire.

“I’m from Romania, actually. Born and raised, came to America when I was 16, pretty hard to adapt to a new life. But I managed it” He offers a smile before continuing. “Dad took off with some young blondie, claiming he was in love with her” He used his fingers to quote on “in love”, “And mom got sick, and with dad gone, I couldn’t take care of her properly. So I dropped out of high school and got a job, one that paid extremely well. And I became good at it, really good, actually. So that’s me. A Businessman taking care of his family” He smiled at you, playing with the drink he had, one that you didn’t notice before.

“Is your mother okay now” You asked, your ears on full display for him.

“Yeah, she’s fine now”

You nodded your head in understatement, but a question kept bugging you, so you asked hesitantly .

“And your dad?” And just like that, his whole body tensed up, eyes darkening at the mention of him. Mentally cursing yourself for being so damn nosy.

“I’m so-”

“No, its fine. He’s out of the picture, for good. Has been for years” He had a sinister look in his eyes, which caused an uneasy feeling to burst in your stomach.

“I can take you home” He smiles, kindly, this time.

This caused you to furrow your eyes in confusion, until you realized that you claimed to leave and go home when he first arrived.

“I’m not going to hop in a strangers car and ditch my drunk best friend” You smirked, yet your hand didn’t dare move out of his grasp. And he noticed two due to the smirked that was placed on his lips. Before you knew it, you were pulled into his arms, making you gasp and pull away quickly. It felt incredibly nice feeling his lean fit body against yours, but pulling always was basic reflex.

“Feisty” He chuckle, tongue swiping across his lips as his ring covered fingers traced your features. The whole mood went from a pity party to testing both your sexual desires. The softness of it all made you lean in while closing my eyes. It’s been a hell of a while since you’ve been touched, even slightly, especially by such an attractive man.

“And you’re incredibly cocky”

“I am, aren’t I?” He laughed, and actual laugh. Which left you slightly confused.

---

Before you fucking knew it, your back was being pressed against the dirty walls of the most disgusting public bathroom you’ve probably ever been in while your neck was being devoured by a stranger you met 20 minutes ago. Your hands were firmly pressed against his chest, head tilted to the side giving him as much access to your neck as he needed.

“Fuck, Sebastian” You couldn’t help but moan as you felt his growing dick press against your underwear. Your dress pulled up to your waist, making you feel like a cheap whore. But the feeling of Sebastian’s lips sucking roughly on your collarbone, his beard scratching against you and his growing dick rubbing against your slick underwear made you forget about your pride.

His hands found their way to your exposed ass, squeezing them as hard as he could. His nails and cold rings digging into your skin made push your body harder against his. Your breathing was erratic, your hands couldn’t seem to find a place to rest upon. So you ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at it so you could look him in the eye, which were now a dark blue. Pupils slightly dilated, lips bruised and painted by your pink lipstick. The sight alone could’ve made you come undone.

Sebastian had other plans, while you were admiring his features, his hand pass your underwear, pressing harshly against your clit. You gasp loudly as you hold onto the back of his neck for some sort of support.

Dragging his fingers down your slit, he collected some of your wetness and brought it back up to your clit, so it be easier to play with you. All while biting the shell of your ear.

“So wet, so delicious” He praised while slamming his lips on yours. The kiss was sloppy, but none of you minded it much.

His touch were soft, yet he had you rolling your eyes back as he rubbed you clit in circles.

You were so caught up in your own bubble of pleasure, you didn’t notice him using your thigh to rub his closed dick on. And smirked formed on your lips as your hand reached down to roughly palm him. But before you could do anything else. He grabbed your hand and turned you over the sink. Taking your hair into a makeshift pony tail, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror, all while grinding his dick on your bare ass.

“I promise, next time, I’ll fuck you somewhere less disgusting, and more expensive, but for now, you’ll have to deal with this” He growls against your cheek.

Next time...

Staring at the blank walls of your room at 6:50 became some sort of tradition. Sleep was nowhere to be found as your thoughts kept you up every night. But lately, the only thought on your mind was Sebastian, and his beautiful blue eyes, his ring covered finger and his delicious lips. Fucking asshole.

It’s been exactly a week since you your encounter, and to be honest, you were devastated, especially after he gave you the best fucking orgasm you’ve ever experience in a smelly bathroom than any guy in your bed.

Sighing for the 20th time, you decide to get up from your pity party and head downstairs for a glass of water. A sleeping pill would be great if you didn’t have five kids to look after and figuring way to get. You only had 10 minutes before waking everyone up and cooking breakfast. And preparing their lunches for school. A headache already forming at just the thought of it, but you knew it was just lack of sleep.

Half way down the stairs, you heard a loud knock on your door, causing you to stop and furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Who the hell could that be?” You thought out loud as you reached the end of the stairs, grabbing the robe that was left on the couch and wrapping it over your semi naked body.

“Delivery for Y/n Y/l/n” Was the first thing that came out of the man’s mouth as you opened the door half way.

“Delivery? What do you mean delivery, from who?” you asked, opening the door wider and wrapping your arms around your freezing body. Today was Sunday, there are no deliveries on Sundays. Though, the fact that today wasn’t supposed to be mail day, it was the least your worries. What worried you most was the man delivering it. He was dressed in all black, hair slicked back and tattoos adorning his face. A cigarette handing from behind his ear, though it wasn’t enough to surprise or worry you.

“Delivery from Mr. Stan” He coughs nervously, as if saying the name will cause a curse for all eternity.

Confused, you take the heavy box into your arms.

“Who-“

“Have a good day, ma’am” He smiles and walks away, leaving you confused, and slightly scared of what might be in the mysterious box that looked to be more expensive than your whole house.

“Ma’am? Who the hell are you trying to fool here” You questioned, mostly to yourself as you shut the door close.

“What’s that?” Came the voice of the second oldest, Jeremy, as he slouched on the couch, lighting up a cigarette as he did so. Causing you to groan in annoyance while ripping it out of his mouth.

“I have no fucking clue. Go make yourself useful make breakfast.”

“Like what?” He groans, not really paining attention to you.

Like cereal” You ordered as soon as you heard the alarm from one of the room upstairs, knowing everyone will be down soon.

“There’s no milk”

“Then use water”

Once upstairs, you closed the door, locking it before throwing yourself on the bed with the box in your lap. Pretty stupid of you to accept a box from a drug dealing looking kid, but here you were. Half way opened, you noticed a card sticking out from the side. And saw a neat handwriting, one that you could’ve sworn you’ve seen before.

“No legacy is as rich as honesty”

I know you’ll probably think I’m an asshole for this. But here’s a little something for you to get by. I’ve been in the same situation, though, I took a dangerous root. So in the meantime, here’s a gift to help you and and your family. Don’t make a fuss, and burn, just enjoy it. And I’ll see you soon”

Sebastian.

Beyond confused, you opened the box only to find a shit load of money stacked on top of another. Maybe, 9, 10 grand? You didn’t know, but you panicked. Your eyes wide in shock, your hand covering you mouth as, your hand covering you mouth as our mind tried to process what was happening.

“What the fuck, did you rob a bank or something?” Jeremy gasped as he busted into the room, staring at the money. You crumbled the note and placed it in between your legs so Jeremy didn’t notice. Once you were calm enough, you took a deep breath and closed the box calmly

“Count the money. We’re giving it back”

“Who the hell did you get involved with, Y/n?” Jeremy asked, sternly, this time. He closed the door and grabbed the box, making sure the other didn’t hear or see.

“I have no fucking clue, but that money is not staying”

#sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan headcanon #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan imagines #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #sebastian stan au #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes #avengers imagine #marvel imagine

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

Note

my beloved morgy, good evening!! it's been a little bit, no? schoolwork has been running rampant and health issues are racking up, so i have unfortunately been away for a bit, not to mention i'll have to look for work soon due to financial issues,, life is quite hectic now! no matter what though, i always look forward to coming back here, talking to you has become one of my favorite things in the world!! 💕💌💫 (1/9)

"and so much has happened now, hm? with that in mind, please know that what i'm about to say isn't just mere kindness, and that i actually believe it wholeheartedly,, i think you are absolutely stunning!!! of course i got the notification during algebra of all classes,, but oh my goodness darling!!!! i'm so happy you somehow gained enough confidence to do that!! (2/9)

i was paranoid after my initial face reveal, but after getting so many nice responses before, i knew it would go just as smoothly for you 💓 ahhhh i just can't get over it at all, you're so pretty!!! i smiled a lot, and then my professor must've noticed, because he said "abby... abby... ABBY! are you ok?? you're face is so red, do you have a fever???" (3/9)

of course i dismissed it, but then to make matters worse, quinn called me during class about it as you saw already,, i swear, she just loves to torture me hm? 😖😖 but really, you are gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, ok?? 💘 oh, and i must thank everyone for being so patient and kind during my absence!! your well wishes mean a lot to me! most people tend to get very frustrated with me, so i'm beyond glad that i can get a break from that type of treatment!! (4/9̶ 10)

it's been very difficult so far trying to balance school and my own health, so i've been extremely occupied as of late,, but when things settle down and i figure things out, i should be more active again! (it's what i hope for! writing you and seeing everyone is one of the things i actually enjoy anyway!!! 🌠) and all of those picrews and that drawing?? lovely as always!! (5/10)

aside from stressful school days and other events, today, quinn and our friend chloe surprised me by showing up to my house after school and whisking me off to this lovely asian market in the city! it was unusually cold, so quinn being the overly protective person they are, forced me to take their coat,, ahhh i felt so bad, the breeze was so chilly!! but sadly, the north really does get cold when the fall starts to hit hehe (6/10)

we took the metro over and messed around in our seats a bit,, it was nice and quiet for once! we ended up having a great time, getting dinner, buying lots of strange snacks, and eating different cakes at this quaint café, it was such a nice break from everything not-so-good that has been happening lately!! ✨ (7/10)

and luckily, i get to actually have a good time this weekend!!! my older brother is coming home to visit! despite college being so busy for him, he told me that he still checks in here at the end of every week haha, i'm surprised he even manages to do that with his workload 😖 he told me we're gonna go and get lunch together, so i'm really excited for that,, i miss him lots! ❤ (8/10)

so much has happened that i can't even keep track of it,, there's so much to talk about, it's crazy! i wish school could lighten up a bit so i could be here more, after all, i do truly enjoy my time here!! but i'm overjoyed that i get to return tonight despite my heavy workload,, it's always a rare pleasure to be able to talk to you dolcezza!!! hopefully i can be back soon by friday or so,, i'll be aiming for it 💗 (9/10

thank you guys for all of the support throughout these chaotic months, i never expected to meet such an amazing person and become so loved by a bunch of people i never met- you've all gone beyond my wildest expectations with how unbelievably kind you are to me! as always thank you, i love you all beyond words 💕 with love from the moon & back, your waifu xoxo 💖💖💖 ps: morgy you really do know how to pull at my heartstrings!! i better see no more of you doubting yourself ever again 😘 (10/10)"

THE LEGEND HAS R E T U R N E T H ONCE MORE 😳🤚✨ honestly darling ur reaction was quite literally priceless and Quinn only made this entire thing better ngl jdhdhwhd i almost cant believe me doing some dumb face reveal caused it either but....i aint complaining at all quite the contrary acc👁️👁️

I'd still insist ur bein way too kind but i'll thank u anyway for za compliments (i can only say the same regarding u dear👁️✨) dbqhshxkaha also a trip to za asian market sounds lit ngl me and the squad always go to this k mart thats on the way to our school and they have banging foods 😩✊

Now i can 100% relate to everything u said esp the school part....im exhausted outta my mind (in fact i deadass fell asleep while on zoom today during class djsbs) bc i still lowkey cant fall asleep in time at night and i have to get up early everyday so its like💀💀💀💀 i mostly catch up on schleep in the afternoon but its still a wack schedule and i barely have time to do other stuff let alone write which bothers me alot ngl....as for urself im glad u got to have some quality time w ur mates and also that ur legend of a bro is finally visiting (za clown army e a a g er l y awaiting his return)

I agree also that things have been movin fast like h e l l its already almost october tf🗿🗿 and i also hope ur fine health wise too bc ik all too well how school and an erratic schedule can throw ur entire body off and worsen ur immune system n all of dat shiz💀

Either way im glad u popped in again (as always my inbox been bombarded with questions regarding ur whereabouts djshdjdk) and may we speak of shows and anime again bc a bitch had finished bsd yesterday and im l i v i n😳😳😳

#the confessional #guess i'll just have to continue snatchin ur wig w my yoonbum/levi lookin ass🤩🤩

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tyto11 · 5 years

Text

slowly handling shit: part 17

preface: it’s technically not friday anymore since it’s currently three am but oh well

breakfast and sleep: average sleep at six to seven hours. getting home later on the bus cramps down on my winding down time and makes me more tired, as it turns out. i keep dozing off on the bus. i have yet to miss my stop though, which is good. think i had a fruit for breakfast all but one or two days. my body really doesn’t like me no longer sleeping 13ish hours per day and has retaliated by making it really fucking hard to get out of bed in the morning. thus, i have been late to school all but two days this week. only because they were the days i had band and it’s hard to be late to band by one and a half hours. i was late to bad by forty minutes thursday though, so. overall not the best. lowkey stressed rn, no clue why. well, some clue. my parents noticed, but i overheard my dad suggesting that maybe it was because i was listening to too much loud music. :| not the case. honestly they seemed more miffed that i was inconveniencing them than me being tired- which i don’t really mind, but i can’t help but remember that they tried to help my brother a lot more. which i kind of mind. i generally enjoy their hands-off style of parenting with me (no bedtime or curfew, wifi always on, i can go wherever i want) but sometimes i wish they. cared more.

exercise: i think i mentioned this in another one of these, but my jazz teacher says i have a beautiful arabesque. the one thing from ballet that remained notably beautiful long after i quit ballet due to an ankle injury. i kinda feel like the protagonist in a dance movie sometimes- quit dance due to emotional issues and an ankle injury, comes back to dance seven years later. my leg was sixty ish degree up when i first lifted it, and then he pushed on my back and it curved like a glowstick and my leg went past 180 and, hoo boy, my left arm kinda gave out beneath me. i regularly arabesque when waiting for things to cook in the pan at home, or when bending over to pick smth up, which is likely the only reason why it stayed pretty good. my joints always pop when we do fast movements in jazz. it makes me feel old, but it’s kinda funny too. i lifted weights once or twice and did my paper route, but other than that, no exercise. i’ve been pretty tired and kinda stressed. i think i’ve spent most of the past week lying in bed being too tired to know what’s happening and doing anything that must absolutely be done for tomorrow in fifteen minutes before passing out.

plants: my mint!!!!! it’s sprouting roots in its lil jar of water :)) the propagation has most definitely worked, and it’s a bit horrifying because it looks like a parasite is slowly bursting out of the mint stalk but nope, just roots. it also smells great. and! my flower seeds have sprouted too, and are growing bigger. i still haven’t gotten around to putting my burro’s tail propagation in cactus soil. or washing my sneakers. ugh. job for tomorrow?

face care: this week it was by an “as needed” basis. teeth brushing mornings, moisturizer, face washing when my skin looked oily. flossed once, maybe twice. stuff kinda took a backseat to lying in bed for hours feeling tired or sleeping.

socializing: my bio partner started sitting one seat away from me closer to her friends, but we started a group project and i’ve been getting along pretty well with the guy i’m paired with. our older brothers are friends, but we never really talked because we were in different grades. which reminds me i need to work on our google slides presentation. tomorrow? today? hm. dnd was a lot of fun, and our av team got the snacks from the reading club because, sadly, no one turned up to the first meeting, and the guy who started the reading club is in av. so. i’d be interested in joining but right now i really need the extra half hour of sleep. maybe if i can get solid napping done. ugh. feeling tired all the time sucks. i slept thirteen hours and woke up at three pm friday. felt tired by eight pm. hurgh.

room cleaning: i think i had one twenty minute session when i was just super motivated and i cleared up some stuff that’s been banging around for a while. the clear patch from then honestly helped me through the week. idk why.

how i’ve been: good news bad news: mental health feels better from last week, but i have been very very tired. like. tired. almost all the time. friday was the first time i didn’t wake up tired and stay tired all day. i managed to be tired during my paper route thursday too, even walking through rain and fresh air. which is pretty unusual but i’d just woken up from a nap. in hindsight perhaps this was because of the past two weeks of poor mental health. or maybe i’m just too tired to feel anxious or sad. if you sleep, you can’t experience poor mental health. which sounds like a terrible coping mechanism. bleh. maybe if i drink more water next week i’ll feel better? or eat some celery? the fridge has been pretty scant on veggies. hagh. i think i’m overthinking causes.

bonus things i’d like to mention: my period was very polite to me. it only lasted fourish days, didn’t leak onto my clothes, only gave me very mild cramps on one day, but they were so mild i barely noticed them. shoutout to my ovaries for not fucking up my life this time round. i appreciate that. it’s getting to fourish so i think i’ll pass out. may tomorrow be a better day. one where i do things that will make me feel better once they’re done. and where i don’t discover that there is no dinner because my family ate it without me and decided i’d probably eaten already. think i’m salty because i’m tired. why the fuck are there birds singing there’s no sun even yet go the fuck to sleep birds, tiny little motherfuckers, shhh please- thank you. it’s time to sleep. take care y’all- drink water, take breaks when you need them, do the little things for yourself that make life easier. best wishes to you all.

#tyto stuff #tyto tries

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goldenscript · 6 years

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first off i just want you to know that i wrote a 3 page essay on spring day for english (min was 500 words but i had a lot to say!) and i have no regrets. my monday’s starting off okay, it’s a stressful week already haha and i lowkey want to dig deeper in this rut that i’ve created for myself. it’s cold af over here rn but i went to the park around the corner earlier to destress, write, and people watch. saw a cute ass corgi named beethoven and i got new neighbors! sigh i was wishing that (1/?)

they’d be cute boys but it’s a single mom and her baby girl!! they’re super nice and sweet. how’s your week coming along? i hope you had a great nap after u replied!! GIRL civil war has the best fight choreography imo (plus that’s when cobwebs aka spidey comes in hehe) and tbh i never finished the winter soldier! yo tbh the app looks really interesting, i just bought it LMAO i should really stop buying things on a whim but… looks like it’d be worth it!! i trust ur judgement. and i believe in (2/

you!! you’ll find something that screams EM EM EM EM and the whole world’s gonna know about your bomb ass writing!! while i hate going back to reread my old fics, i think the development of style, thought process, and plot complexity is so fucking rad. important q: were u team jacob or team edward LMAO but huh i;ll have to check her out, i’ve heard of her works but i just never read them (i didnt watch vampire diaries either). i was a huge hp nerd and i was a manga girl from the start haha (3/

my friend from davis sent me a snap of her film prof playing daydream this morning and I SCREAMED LIKE LET ME TRANSFER THERE ALREADY aSJDAKSDH(4/4) -sjsu

omfg, fun fact: i wrote an analysis on namjoon’s “always” a few quarters ago, i wanna say last year when i was a first year but my memory’s hazy. but yes, i’m proud of you!!! look at us analyzing bts LOL. but yeah, i feel. i’m just busy these last two weeks and then i have finals and break so gotta power through for that. i honestly want to just lay down and Not Deal but i gotta so i’m reading instead of working on that paper due friday jkhgskjhskjf & that sounds so nice and relaxing omg, honestly i wish cute boys upon you the next time you go there!!!! overall, my week’s starting off ok and that was great so i’m happy tomorrow’s my late start day.

noted! maybe i’ll just watch it since it’s on netflix and winter soldier isn’t LOL. and dude, i love spidey! tom is so cute! & please let me know how you like the app!!!!!!! the stories are fun and kinda immersive and the plot’s pretty cool from what i remember. i’ll probably play it sometime myself. god…. if you were into otome games, i’d have so many recs but again that’s money but voltage inc has some pretty good plotlines imo. the more slice of life-ish plots are better written than the fantasy ones besides “love letters from thief x” which is like you’re an art curator who gets involved with this notorious group of thieves who steal for the good of people and that is great jkfhskjfh

but omg thank you! one day! my goal is to one day get published so that 7 year old me can be happy and accomplished. old fics sometimes make me cringe but the stuff i’ve made in the last two to maybe four years have shown great improvement so i’m proud of that. i was team jacob LOL. i loved the wolves so much. like their storylines were so great and i felt like there was so much potential but the writer was like “lmao i’ll mention them but that’s it” and half-assed everything else. like i would’ve loved to read more about the complications that comes with the soulmate thing and about some of the wolves and their stories, how they came to be, instead of bella who really didn’t do anything but read books and suddenly had a flock of men just throwing themselves at her feet kjhkdhgkshkjfdhdgieng but enough about this,,,,,,,,,, yeah i watched the first season of tvd but i read most of the books! i was a big hp movie watcher, but i feel like it wasn’t until high school that i really took the time to read the books tbh

omfg that’s so RAD. what class was it skjfhjskfhuwijng i need to know for reasons i want to be blessed - do you know when you’re gonna be able to transfer?? o:

#sjsu anon #Anonymous #answered

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philsdrill · 7 years

Text

Chapter 16: Not What You Want for Your Birthday

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, mentions of suicide, a lot of awkwardness, small amounts of smut. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 6.8k

[Uploads will be approximately every couple of weeks! (hopefully)]

A/N: Announcement - I have a new sideblog, @philsdrill-updates, where I will post only about updates for this fic, so if you want a notification when I update, you can turn on notifications for the blog if you want! Also, next chapter should be sooner rather than later, as I’ve actually written it. This was going to be 11k, but I’ve decided to split it in two (thanks to those who helped me decide). Anyway, enjoy!

MASTERPOST

<= Previous Chapter

When the morning arrived, we found another thing for the day’s to-do list. As well as constructing our bed and phoning Dan’s parents, we would also have to go shopping. We’d had no milk for days, and now we were out of bread too. We were almost at the stage of having ice cream for breakfast, but not quite.

We made a trip to Tesco, something that I think Dan and I had only done together once. Usually we used the online ordering system, from the days when the amount of food in the supermarket would be too much for him to cope with. Today, he was feeling up to it, and it would be easier for us to get all of the things we needed without forgetting something.

As we made our way around the shop, I thought about what we would eat for lunch. For days we had been eating the odds and ends we had left in the fridge and freezer, but now we had the opportunity to eat something decent. I’d missed cooking over the last few days, and was excited to get back into the habit of it. I picked up some chicken breasts from the meat aisle, with the intention of coating them, frying them and then using it as a sandwich filler. It would make a change from pre-packaged ham.

We picked up most of the things from our usual weekly shop, and it was just after I had found the KitKats that I noticed Dan spacing out a little.

“You okay?” I asked him, bringing the trolley to a stop next to the Doritos and studying his expression.

“Yeah, this is just a little overwhelming,” he told me, “Too many sweets, too many kinds of potatoes… just…”

“Okay,” I said calmly, “I just need to pick up some new socks and then we can leave.”

I rested one hand on the small of Dan’s back and started to control the trolley with one hand. The excuse of me needing new socks was really just to get him out of the aisles full of food, but now that I thought about it, I realised that I seemed to have lost a number of them recently.

I brought the trolley to a stop in front of the display of socks and picked out a couple of pairs. Dan seemed to be a bit more focused on the world now, so I could tell he was okay, but I thought we should go home. He didn’t seem like he was about to have a panic attack or anything, but then, we never knew.

“Okay, that’s us,” I said, “Anything you’re needing or shall we go to the checkout?”

“I’m good,” Dan said, and started to wander in the direction of the checkouts.

I went ahead of him with the trolley, picked the checkout with the shortest queue, and started to unload the stuff onto the conveyor belt. Dan did help, but he had clearly given me the leading role. I felt a bit like a Dad in the situation, where I was the one speaking to the cashier and loading most of the bags, while Dan was the kid who helped out a little, but mainly stood quietly by the trolley.

However, in Dan helping to pack the bags, there were moments when I was by the trolley and Dan was next to the cashier. She was a lovely lady, who made pleasant small talk and would slow down to let us keep up. As the last few items came through, I was lifting another full bag into the trolley.

“Do you need another bag?” the lady asked Dan.

When Dan didn’t reply, I looked up from the trolley. Dan seemed to be staring into space and the cashier looked over at him, puzzledly.

“Yes please,” I replied, coming over to stand next to Dan.

I nudged his arm gently to bring him back to earth, while I filled the last bag. Dan noticed my nudge, looked a bit dazed, and then wandered back towards the trolley. I passed him the last bag to put in it, and then got my card out to pay.

“Is your friend okay?” the cashier asked me quietly, “He seems a little out if it.”

“He has anxiety,” I told her, not really knowing what else to say, “I think he just needs to get out of here.”

“Okay,” she nodded, not showing any understanding but smiling and passing me my receipt and vouchers, “On you go.”

I pushed the trolley to the car, with Dan lingering by my side. He wasn’t saying a lot, but then he could be quite a quiet person by nature. I brought the trolley to a stop behind my car, unlocked it, and opened up the boot.

“Can I go and sit in the car while you load it?” Dan asked, his voice sounding a little nervous.

“Yeah sure,” I told Dan, knowing that something wasn’t quite right, but not wanting to ask him in this open environment.

I quickly filled up the boot and parked the trolley, and before long I was climbing into the driver’s seat, next to Dan.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, once I had the door shut.

“Nothing, I just… there was a moment where I just got freaked out by the amount of food and I’m fine now, I just needed out of there,” he said, stumbling over his words a little.

“Okay,” I nodded, reaching over and taking his hand, which was trembling a little, “Do you want a drink of water or anything?”

“Did we buy some?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, stretching behind me into the backseat, where I had put one of the six-packs of bottled water.

I brought the packet forwards, opened it and passed Dan a bottle. I put the rest of them back behind me, and looked at Dan, who was taking small sips of the water, but looking relatively calm. I made sure he was good to go, before starting the car and heading back towards home.

–

After putting the shopping away, we started on constructing our bed. It was relatively simple, but due to its size, it took quite a while. We stopped for our fried chicken sandwiches at lunchtime, and I was grateful for the relaxing break that cooking gave me. We finished the bed after lunch, at about three o’clock.

We both lay down on the now completed bed and had a discussion about our plan for later, with our meal out. We decided on exactly which restaurant we were going to, and I called to book a table. I maybe should’ve booked a little earlier in the day, as we had to go for a time that was a little later than ideal; it just meant that I wouldn’t have time to come home before heading to the restaurant where I worked.

Dan and I were both tired, and we could fit in a little nap before going out, but we had one last thing to do first. Call Dan’s parents and see when Adam could come up.

We sat on the bed, with Dan’s phone between us. He made the call and put the phone on speaker so we could both communicate.

After the initial ‘hello’s and ‘how are you’s, we got down to the question, “Now that we’ve moved house and have a spare room, we were thinking we could have Adam up to stay for a few days. We thought it would be good for him and he seemed to like the idea when we spoke a few days ago. When would be good?”

Dan’s parents discussed for a minute or two, and I even heard Adam’s voice in the background. Shouldn’t he be in school? I guess things weren’t too good for him at the moment.

“Would Monday be too soon?” Dan’s mum asked us, “He could come then and stay for the week? It’s the mid-term this coming weekend so he’ll be off Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Monday anyway, and I think realistically he won’t be in school this Monday or Tuesday.”

Dan and I looked at each other and began to nod slowly, both of us agreeing that that was fine.

“That’s fine,” Dan told them, cheerily, “We’ll get the place organised for then. Give us details of his train when you have them.”

We spoke about a few more technical aspects to his visit, but soon we were ending the call with a promise to speak soon.

Dan let out a sigh of relief, “I’m glad that’s organised.”

I set an alarm on Dan’s phone, then we both lay down for a nap. We’d had a long morning, and we were going to need our energy for later. After our meal, I had work, and we were hoping that we’d have the energy for a little intimate time when I got home. Things had been stressful of late and we both needed the release.

–

Dan’s POV:

When we awoke from our nap, Phil and I agreed to take separate showers, knowing we were both lowkey too horny to be in such a steamy environment together. We took a bathroom each, and each got ourselves ready for our date.

It was strange to think, that after being together for all these months, this was our first time going out to a restaurant together. I was a little bit nervous, but I knew I would be fine with Phil by my side.

We arrived at the restaurant, and were very quickly taken to our table. Phil made small talk with the waiter, and even managed to tell the waiter that he was a waiter himself.

After gandering over the menu for a while, Phil and I decided on what we were going to order. We’d share a starter of garlic bread with mozzarella, each have our own main course: creamy Spaghetti Carbonara for Phil and tomatoey Spaghetti al Forno for myself. Neither of us could drink, with me driving and Phil working, so we each ordered a soft drink; Phil went for a bottle of Coke, while I just asked for some tap water. We wouldn’t have to commit to having pudding until later, which was perfectly fine by me.

The garlic bread was nice, but I restricted myself to one piece and let Phil have the other two. I wanted to be able to eat most of my main course. I’d ordered the smaller ‘Starter Portion’, but I still had a feeling that I was going to struggle.

Phil and I had made the agreement not to talk about anything stressful over dinner. The subjects of house moving, anxiety, illness and my brother’s soulmate issues were all off the cards, unless of course something came up and we had to speak about them.

We spoke about more simple matters, light-hearted conversation that seemed perfect for a date, without making things too serious.

We briefly discussed the weekend, and how the plan was to go to Phil’s parents house on Saturday, have our evening meal, then stay over into Sunday. I again asked Phil if he knew what we’d be eating, but he wasn’t able to tell me much more than the last time.

“My mum says it’s a surprise,” Phil told me, “But she says she kept you in mind, when deciding on it. She won’t tell me, but if you want to speak to her on the phone, she might tell you.”

“I might do that,” I told him, “It’s not that I don’t trust her, I’d just rather know.”

When had finished our main courses, and the dessert menu came around, I made the decision to stop where I was. There was only so much food by body could handle, and I felt I was already a bit too close to that limit. However, I persuaded Phil that he should order a pudding, that I shouldn’t hold him back from having something that he loved.

When Phil’s ice cream sundae arrived, he asked the waiter if we could have a second spoon. I could see Phil was going to offer me a little bit, and I felt that I could accept his offer as long as it wasn’t too much. Phil did offer me some ice cream, and while I didn’t have a lot, I did enjoy my little sample.

We finished the meal off with a coffee, or rather a latte for Phil and a hot chocolate for myself. I wasn’t going to risk having any coffee induced anxiety to put a downer on our night, I’d have to make do with the energy from our nap.

Phil paid the bill, giving the waiter a tip, and we made our way out of the restaurant, feeling satisfied and full of food. There was a slight anxious feeling in the back of my mind, but I knew what I’d eaten wasn’t particularly unhealthy, and that I was allowed to treat myself from time to time.

Having a little time to spare before Phil’s work, we took a walk around a nearby park together to get some fresh air, a pleasant thing to do after being in warm restaurant full of food smells. Although a little cold, it was peaceful, and just what I needed to ease my mind. Phil and I held hands as we strolled around, and may have partaken in the cheesy romantic fantasy of kissing against a tree next to a stream.

As I drove Phil to his work, I reminded myself that our night wasn’t over yet. We’d have more time together when Phil came home, and we’d made an agreement about what we’d be doing. Obviously, if something changed and one of us was too tired, we’d put it off until the morning, but everything was looking good; Phil and I were well rested and we were looking forward to later on. I could certainly feel the lust in my veins, recently having found myself aroused by the smallest things.

I dropped Phil off at his restaurant, pressing another kiss to his cheek before he got out of the car. I told him I loved him, and reminded that I’d see him in a few hours, when I came to pick him up.

I drove Phil’s car back to our flat, and parked it in our assigned space. I made my way up to the second floor alone and let myself into our flat. I occupied myself with a bit of unpacking and tidying for a while, but I was distracted. I knew what Phil and I were planning when he came back, and I wanted to do a little preparation.

It had been a while since Phil and I did anything in that department, and I knew I would be way too tight to stretch quickly. To make things easier for both of us later on, I was going to get myself prepped a little in advance. After a bit of searching through boxes to find what I was looking for, I eventually made my way to Phil and I’s bedroom, armed with a dildo, some lube and a towel I didn’t mind getting a little messy.

I started with my fingers, coating them liberally in the slippery substance and slowly pushing in and apart. It was a very slow process, as I’d predicted, and it took a while before I found myself feeling comfortable enough to take something bigger. I was humming and hawing about using the dildo, knowing that I did risk getting carried away when I wanted to save myself for later. Eventually I decided that I would go for it, let myself adjust to the stretch, then take it out and leave things there.

I lowered myself onto it, biting my lip as the stretch was a little more than I’d expected. Eventually I bottomed out, and all I wanted to do was start fucking myself on it, but I mustered all my self control and kept still, saving myself for Phil. Another wave of arousal struck me, and I knew I had to take it out and distance myself from the idea. I slowly pulled the toy back out, and lay it to the side on the towel. I took a few deep breaths and stood up from the bed to retrieve my underwear.

I’d just pulled my boxers back up when suddenly my head felt a little fuzzy. I suddenly felt really really anxious and I didn’t know why.

I sank to the floor; I think I may have forgotten how to stand as my mind was elsewhere. After talking a few deep breaths and focusing on what was going on in my head, I realised that I was worrying about Phil.

Was Phil sick?

Phil never got sick though; I hadn’t felt anything through our bond since I was about eight. The more I tried to recall that time, I started to realise that this was how it felt.

So was Phil sick?

I guess we’d never quite got to the bottom of him feeling ill before we moved; maybe it was connected.

Suddenly I realised there was only really one way to figure out if he was okay. I got up, grabbed my phone from the bedside table and called Phil.

As the phone rang, I pulled my t-shirt back on, knowing that I may have to go and pick Phil up if this was what I thought. I froze and paid my utmost attention to the phone when I heard Phil pick up.

“Dan?” Phil answered, his voice sounding rough and a little shaky, almost immediately confirming my suspicions.

“Phil, I felt it; you’ve been sick, right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Phil said, his voice trembling and catching in his throat, “I wasn’t feeling good so Chris is taking care of my tables and I came back to the break room and now -”

Phil paused, and over the phone I heard a bit of what sounded like him throwing up. He let out a pained moan and sighed.

“I’m getting ready to come and pick you up,” I told Phil, putting the phone on speaker and putting on a pair of joggies and some shoes.

“T-thanks,” Phil responded, but sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

“Try and keep yourself together for me,” I told him, “Should I bring a bucket?”

A hesitant ‘maybe’ from Phil was all I needed to know that the answer was yes. I kept him on the line so I could hear how he was doing, grabbed the bucket and my keys and made my way down to the car.

I had to end the call to drive there, but I told Phil I’d be there in five minutes. He choked out something about me finding either Chris or his manager and one of them would take me to him.

I made my way to the restaurant as fast as I safely and legally could. I was worried about Phil, and needed to be by his side as quickly as possible. I got hit by a particularly strong wave of worry after turning into the main road, and found myself struggling to pay attention to the road.

I didn’t really want to, but I pulled over to let it pass, knowing that if I kept going, I would be in a lot of danger. I took a couple of deep breaths, feeling a little nauseous myself. It hurt to know that Phil was struggling so much and I couldn’t be there with him.

Once I felt a little calmer, I started the car back up and continued on my way. I felt some relief come over me as I turned into the restaurant car park, knowing that Phil wasn’t far away now.

I pulled into the disabled space right next to the building, because fuck it, Phil was really sick and wouldn’t be up for walking very far.

I leapt out of the car, locked it and headed towards the door, not caring about my horrendously untidy parking. I doubted I’d be here long enough for anyone to complain.

Heading into the restaurant, I spotted Phil’s boss standing by the 'please wait here to be seated’ sign. I made my way over to him, ready with my question about Phil. He was probably ready for me to enquire about getting a table, but I was about to throw him off his routine.

“Hi, I’m Dan, Phil’s soulmate,” I introduced myself, “Could you take me to him?”

“Yeah, Chris told me he wasn’t feeling too good, so he’s back in the breakroom,” he said, gesturing for me to follow him, “Did he call you?”

“No I called him,” I told him, “I felt it through our bond.”

“From what I heard from Phil, I thought it was just when the other threw up, not just…” he paused, “Oh wait, has he thrown up?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “And more than once. I’m guessing you’ve got a toilet back there?”

“Yeah we do,” he said, looking a little perplexed, “Do you know what’s wrong? Do you think he’s picked up a stomach bug from somewhere? Sorry to sound arrogant but hygiene is very important here.”

“I’m pretty confident this is connected to him being ill last week, and whatever’s wrong, he’s not contagious because I’m absolutely fine,” I told him, “And I completely understand why you’re asking.”

“Okay good,” he said, looking relieved.

“I’m starting to wonder if it’s a food allergy or something,” I explained, as we walked through a door marked ‘staff only’ at the back of the restaurant, “Because he seems to feel ill sometimes after he’s eaten, but he’s been fine for a couple of days. I’m going to take him to the doctor, probably tomorrow unless he’s really bad.”

“Could you find someone else to take his shift tomorrow?” I asked him, “I somehow don’t think he’ll be up for it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Phil’s boss replied, “I’ll get someone organised, can’t have him working like this.”

He pushed open a door, which lead into what was clearly the staff breakroom and cloakroom area. There were coat hooks, lockers, and a number of tables and chairs. At one side of the room, there were two doors labelled as toilets.

I followed the manager across to the door with a mens’ symbol on it. The door creaked open as he pushed it, and he called out Phil’s name, “Phil?”

A rough sounding ‘yeah?’ came from the end cubicle, and I heard Phil shuffling around a little.

“Dan’s here,” he said, “I’d better get back to the front desk, so I’ll leave you two to it. I hope you feel better soon.”

The boss left, and I wandered over to just outside of the toilet door.

“Phil?” I asked timidly, “Do you want to let me in?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” Phil replied.

I heard the toilet roll spin round and rip a couple of times, then the toilet flush. Phil then opened the door, whilst still sitting on the floor. I entered the cubicle and crouched down next to him. He was resting his head on the wall next to the toilet, and he looked incredibly pale.

“You’ve been sick, what, three times?” I asked him.

Phil nodded, “I still feel like I’m going to throw up again though.”

I gently rested my hand on Phil’s back, “You can have as long here as you need, but I’ve got a bucket in the car so we can get you home when you’re ready.”

“S-stay a bit longer,” Phil stammered.

“Sure thing,” I said, slowly rubbing my hand up and down his back.

“I think I either ate something bad or something didn’t agree with me,” Phil groaned, rubbing his stomach.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “It might not be, but I think this could be connected to how you felt before we moved. Like I think there’s something you’re eating that you’re maybe allergic to or something.”

“You think?” Phil asked, “But what? I tried not eating some things but it didn’t make a difference.”

“I think we should take you to the Doctor tomorrow and see if we can get the answer to that,” I told him, “But for now I think we should get you home to your own toilet and bed.”

“Yeah,” Phil nodded miserably.

“You want to get up and go then?” I asked him, “D'you think you’ll be able to keep the rest of the contents of your stomach in there until we get outside?”

“Hopefully,” Phil told me, “But can I get a hand up?”

I got up, then helped Phil to his feet. I brought my arms firmly around his waist to steady him, and we walked out into the sink area.

Phil wearily washed his hands, and I splashed some water onto his face, wiping some residue from his chin. After I’d washed and dried my hands, he returned to my side like a lost puppy, tired and barely able to stand on his own.

“You good to go?” I asked Phil, bringing my arm around his shoulders.

“I guess,” he said, “Can we go out the back door though? I don’t want to walk through the restaurant, feeling like this.”

“Sure,” I nodded, “You’ll need to show me the way though.”

Phil and I turned towards the back of the restaurant as we came out the room. We passed a number of doors, one of which was open and led into the kitchen. We hurried past this one as the food smells were a bit much, making Phil retch and clamp a hand over his mouth.

Phil pushed open the back door and hurried outside, bending over next to the wall and holding his stomach and his throat. Despite looking like he was about to, Phil didn’t throw up, and managed to take a few deep breaths and stand up straight again.

I helped Phil over to the car, which was fortunately just about as close as it could be. I opened the passenger door for him and let him get in, before handing him the bucket I’d brought.

“Let’s hope you don’t need that,” I said to him, “But it saves your car getting messy if you do.”

I went around the car and got back into the driver’s seat. I started the car, and started back home. Phil was next to me, clutching the bucket for dear life, looking very uncomfortable. There were a couple of speed bumps on the road into our apartments, which I hadn’t particularly taken any note of before now. I drove carefully over both, but the second one was too much for Phil, resulting in him making use of the bucket after all.

I kept going, pulling into our parking space less than a minute later, where I was finally able to comfort Phil. He wasn’t coping too well, choking out tears and strangled words.

“I feel so ill,” he cried, “Make it stop. I feel sick going over speed bumps at the best of times, but I just…”

“Phil, it’s okay,” I told him, trying to comfort him as he was panicking, “You’re going to be okay. Let’s go upstairs and get you some medicine and some water. We’ll go to the doctors tomorrow. Tonight probably won’t be great, but we’ll get to the bottom of this soon.”

Phil nodded, wiping tears away from his eyes and sniffling a little. I got out of the car and headed round to the other side to help him out. It was scary how my usually strong and happy Phil, was now trembling and in tears. I wish this didn’t have to happen to him. This time it was me helping him up the stairs to our flat, him being the weak one in the situation, the one who needed the support of his soulmate to lean on.

I helped the shaking Phil out of his work clothes and into some pyjamas; my first priority was getting him comfortable, so he didn’t have to get up again in five minutes. I got him to sit down in bed with his bucket while I fetched some medicine. I had to hastily move my things from earlier out of the way, but not without Phil noticing.

“Oh god, you were getting all prepared and everything, I’m sorry,” Phil blurted.

“Yeah, I was,” I admitted, “Don’t worry about it though. You’re ill; I can wait.”

I found the tablets that Phil had sneakily got from the pharmacy, and a bottle of water. I brought them to him, and sat by his side as he took them.

“Hopefully, those will help you feel better,” I said, putting an arm around him and getting ready to stay with him for a while.

His symptoms didn’t seem to be easing much after half an hour, and I made the decision to get him some paracetamol to try and ease the pain. He had adopted a variety of different positions over the last thirty minutes, and his current one was laying on his side, with his arms wrapped around his stomach, a look of intense discomfort on his face.

After Phil took the paracetamol,a thought struck me. Would some food disagreeing with him really put him in this much pain? Could it be something more serious like appendicitis? Or a stomach ulcer like I’d had?

Was there a way I could figure out the difference? Should I take him to hospital? It wasn’t something I wanted to have to do, but then, I didn’t really know what to do.

Phil let out another grunt of pain - the paracetamol was yet to kick in - when a thought crossed my mind. Who would’ve dealt with Phil being ill many more times than I had? His mum.

Despite technically being an adult myself, I was still young, and there were still times I needed help from someone older and more experienced with the things life throws at us. I took Phil’s phone from his bedside table, and informed him that I was going to call his mum. He tried to protest at that, but he didn’t really have the energy to utter anything more than a simple 'no’.

“Hi Phil,” Phil’s mum greeted as she picked up the phone.

“It’s Dan,” I told her.

I don’t know if it was something in the tone of my voice, or whether it was because I was calling rather than Phil, but she immediately noticed that something was up.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“N-not really,” I stuttered, feeling my own panic rising in my throat, “Phil’s really sick and I’ve given him medicine but he doesn’t really seem better, and I’ve just given him paracetamol because his stomach hurts a lot but I’ve just thought, what if it’s something worse and I don’t know if I should take him to hospital or…”

“Dan,” she said, in a soothing motherly voice that made me feel a little better, “Keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll come over and see. I’ll be there in about ten minutes, okay?”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling a little less panicky now that I knew an adult who could help was on the way.

I hung up the call to Phil’s mum and returned to Phil’s side, “You’re mum’s coming over. I need someone to confirm I’m doing the right things.”

I took some deep breaths to calm myself down, running my hand through Phil’s soft, fluffy hair. He relaxed a little under my touch, so I kept at it, hoping he would start to feel better soon.

When Phil’s mum arrived, I got up to let her in, and spent a couple of minutes explaining the context of the situation: what Phil ate for dinner, how long ago it is was and how he’d been a bit ill before the move. We even spoke about the specifics such as how many times he’d vomited and whether he was displaying any other symptoms.

“Dan, you go and take a couple of minutes to yourself in the living room,” she suggested, “I’m going to go in and see him, but I want you to try and calm yourself down a little.”

I went to the living room but found myself pacing around, rather than trying to relax and calm down. What if it was something really serious and I just hadn’t picked up on it? I stopped myself and took a couple of deep breaths. He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. I tried to tell myself that, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. My throat felt tight, and I was starting to feel the slightly nauseous feeling that sometimes came with an anxiety attack.

I realised that I should take my anxiety relief tablets before things got worse; I had to stay strong for Phil. The only snag was they were in our en-suite bathroom, and getting to them meant interrupting Phil’s mum as she checked up on him.

Steeling myself with the knowledge that this was my house and I could go where I pleased, I pushed open the door and walked into our bedroom. Phil’s mum was sitting on the bed next to him, one hand resting on the lump in the duvet that was his leg.

“Sorry I just need to get my anxiety medication from the bathroom,” I rushed, explaining my intrusion.

I hurried into the bathroom, grabbed the tablets and hurried back through again. I took them to the kitchen, where I steadied myself against the counter as I filled myself a glass of water.

I downed the tablets and a few glugs of water, then forced myself to sit down on one of the sofas in the living room. I felt myself twitching, my anxiety wanting to get up and pace around and panic. I fought against it, trying to regulate my breathing while taking sips of water.

I was still shaking a bit when Phil’s mum came in, and I had adopted a blanket to wear as an extra layer.

“Dan, are you okay?” She asked, “Phil was concerned when you came in to get your…?”

“Anxiety medication,” I finished for her, “I’m fine, I’m just feeling a bit panicky and it’ll stop me getting worse. Is Phil okay? I’m worried and I was finding it difficult not to think the worst.”

“He doesn’t have a temperature, so that rules out a lot of things,” she told me, “I’ve spoken to him about it, and it seems likely that something he ate didn’t like him. I think you should take him to the doctor’s tomorrow and see if they can help figure out what’s happened. As for tonight, I think he’ll be okay; just keep an eye on him. Make sure that he’s breathing okay, because breathing difficulties could mean a serious allergy, but I think that would have sprung up already if it was an issue. If he gets worse, get him to the hospital and phone me, but I think he’s going to be fine.”

I nodded, feeling relief that she thought he was fine. I was still a little anxious, but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with.

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked me, “You don’t want me to stay over for support?”

“I’ll be fine,” I told her, “I just needed someone else’s opinion on what to do. Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” she said, “Anytime, well hopefully that won’t be needed, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “I’m going to back and see Phil, but do you want a cup of tea or anything?”

“Yeah, tea would be great, but I can help myself,” she told me, “I know you won’t want to leave Phil for too long.”

Thanking her for understanding, I headed for our bedroom. I slowly pushed open the door, and walked over to the bed, where Phil was now sitting up again.

“Hey,” I said to him, “Your mum thinks you’re okay too which is relieving.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t feel it, but I trust her judgement. Are you okay? I was a bit worried when you rushed in for your anxiety stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I told him, “I was just a bit worried and I could feel it coming and I didn’t want to have an anxiety attack.”

“I’d ask you to come here and I’d give you a hug, but you probably don’t want that as I’m all sick and gross,” Phil commented, laughing slightly.

“I don’t mind,” I said, hopping up onto the bed and sliding across to him, “Though you’re the one who needs the hug.”

I wrapped my arms loosely around Phil, still giving him the freedom to move if he needed to. He didn’t seem to relax particularly as I noticed he was still holding his bucket with a death grip.

“Relax,” I mumbled to him, “Being all tensed up isn’t going to help. Are you feeling any better?”

“I don’t feel so much like I’m going to throw up now,” he told me, “My stomach still feels all wobbly though.”

“Do you think we can put this bucket down then?” I asked him.

“I think so…” he said, a little uncertainly.

“Okay,” I said, taking it from him and lowering it to the floor next to the bed, “Tell me if you feel you need it again; we’ll keep it within reach.”

“Thanks,” Phil sighed, now leaning back against me tiredly.

I returned my arms to their position around Phil, and slid one up his shirt a little to rest on his stomach. I knew a cool hand sometimes made it feel a little better, but I wasn’t going any further, because the likes of a stomach massage would probably make him feel worse.

“What will we do about my birthday and Adam coming?” Phil asked, out of the blue.

“What about them?” I asked, a little confused.

“Like if I’m not better?” Phil explained.

“Your mum knows you’re sick; I’m sure all we’ll need to do is tell her if you’re not up for it,” I said, “And as for Adam; he won’t be coming until Monday and this is only Thursday, so you have plenty time to get better.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Phil agreed.

Phil’s mum suddenly poked her head around the door, “Either of you want tea?”

I looked to Phil first, before answering for myself, “We bought chamomile this morning; it might help your stomach a little?”

“Okay,” Phil nodded.

“Yeah if you could make us each a cup of chamomile tea, that would be great,” I told her, “No milk or anything though.”

Once Phil’s mum was away again, Phil snuggled further into me, “I’m really tired.”

“Yeah, we should get to bed once your mum leaves, I’m getting sleepy from my medicine too,” I admitted.

When Phil’s mum came back with the three cups of tea, we all sat and drank it together, Phil and I cuddled together at the top of the bed, and Phil’s mum sitting on a chair near the bottom. Phil seemed to be nursing his tea happily, it not having any negative effects. In fact, I’d say a little colour was starting to return to his cheeks.

I think Phil’s mum noticed that we were both tired, as, as soon as she’d finished her tea, she was saying that she’d better be off. I got up to let her out and lock up, but as soon as she was gone, I rejoined Phil in bed. We were both exhausted and happy to go to sleep straight away.

However, I had to do a couple of things first; I had to set an alarm for the morning, so that I could call the doctor’s and arrange Phil an appointment before anyone else got in there. I also made sure things were on hand if Phil got sick again in the night. The bucket remained on the floor next to his bed, and I made sure he had a glass of water on his bedside table.

Phil and I laid down, but I waited until he was asleep before letting myself shut my eyes. There was nothing worse than being alone and awake at night when you were ill. I’d been there many times myself, and knew that having someone watching over you was very comforting.

I refrained from holding Phil close, giving him some space in case he needed to get up. I shut my eyes and hoped with all my might that he would feel better tomorrow.

Next Chapter =>

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