ROBERT SEAN LEONARD as CHUCK BISHOP in MARRIED TO IT (1991)

watching the trolls world tour movie for like the 4th time guess who this reminded me of

level impossible

Hiccup in HTTYD 1 and 2: Nothing will stop us from making the world a better place for humans and dragons to co-exist

Hiccup in HTTYD 3: This is hard. We have to banish our dragons to an underground prison, separating humans and dragons is the only way the world learn to let us co-exist 🥺

Meanwhile, after the third movie:

*Hiccup’s daughter thinks dragons are evil monsters and wants them destroyed

*Hiccup introduces his kids to Toothless which does end up being a happy moment yet neither Hiccup, Astrid or their kids do anything to help dragons*

*Toothless’s daughter is absolutely miserable in the Hidden World and only gets a taste of freedom twice then goes back to suffering underground her whole life*

*Humans and dragons co-existing never happens in Hiccup and Toothless’d lifetime do each of them eventually died knowing they’ve failed*

*Thousands of years later some boring generic kid finds Toothless’s inbred descendant*

*Humans and dragons just end up separating again making this discovery pointless*

But trust me guys, the ending of the third movie was totally the perfect ending for the series! I know Hiccup and Toothless failed so hard that even thousands of years later humans and dragons are still separated and probably always will be but it was totally the perfect conclusion!

*sees barbenheimer art of kaz* *chanting* it’s not that big of a deal it’s not that big of a deal it’s not that big of a deal it’s not that big of a d

ken russell had to have been high as fuck when he came up with lisztomania. there is no way you are entirely mentally sound and come up with that absolute fucking dumpster fire

i hate you "influencers", i hate you tiktok, i hate you "content creators", i hate you "unalive" and "s€x" and "dr/ügs", i hate you instagram, i hate you consumerism, i hate you family friendly, i hate you puritans, i hate you facebook, i hate you family vloggers, i hate you violating other people's privacy, i hate you modern day social media

The realest part of the Barbie Movie was when Barbie was like "okay but what if this hurts his feelings? what if this makes him sad? :(" after Ken stole her house, stole her car, and stole her agency, because as a woman you still have to second guess everything you do on the assessment of whether it might hurt a man's feelings.

And then that apprehension was proven right one million times over by the entire Conservative Internet Manosphere pissing and shitting and screaming themselves hoarse over Barbie daring to hurt a man's feelings.

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023, dir. Emma Tammi)

Scream (1996, dir. Wes Craven)

Matthew Lillard

And a two minute long choking sequence. Delightful.

The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.

The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.

The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.

The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.

The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

i can't believe how some men on the internet are wildly missing the point of the Barbie movie. a group of men whose literal job it was to decide what a woman gets to be tried to put her in an actual box. for the love of god, what's not clicking?

It’s 2024 and Margot Robbie wasn’t nominated for the Oscar of Best Actress for Barbie and Greta Gerwing got snubbed for the Best Director but Ryan Gosling got nominated for playing Ken ?! Looks like everyone has still not understood the message behind Barbie…

I can't believe I've been drawing turtles for a year

Laurie Holden and Radha Mitchell on set of SILENT HILL (2006)

His heart belongs to another

And no other heart will do