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#i guess i'm just gonna post this publicly
brown-little-robin · 9 months
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get loved, nerd
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hello.
commentary in the tags. it is slightly negative, so please feel free to simply scroll on if that's not for you!
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neverendingford · 1 year
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Idea first came to me after I said something like "a thousand needles sewing you to a canvas of pain" and so I decided to make it real as best I could.
#does this count as#sculpture#my art#color says shit#Ford's Art#<- figured I needed an actual art tag since I'm actually doing more stuff so that's it I guess.#now I have to go back and edit the tags on all my old art stuff#gonna tag this as#body horror#just in case. some of those threads are actually going through my skin so it's worth tagging.#anyway. I'm finally finished with it! ngl I finished and was like 'what if I don't post it I just keep it privately?'#but I'm continuing my exposure therapy by posting art publicly so here.#anyway. it's no dismembered hand stitched to a canvas but it's the best I could do without going full Hannibal and committing medical crime#I used glue at the start to sew through before giving up and just figuring out how much skin I could get the needle through#I'm gonna feel it tomorrow for sure#do you have any idea how hard this was with just one hand. I had to use my toes as extra fingers to thread the needle every time I ran out#I wanted more tension on the threads but with only one hand and anchors that threatened to rip out I couldn't really#plus the left side was easier to sew because I was using my left hand. the right side was significantly more difficult#as evidenced by the significantly worse stitching on that side#I think I should have stuck with the glue though because it makes the pull marks like I wanted#it makes the thread have more of a meat-hook feel and weight rather than just light thread pulled through stiff skin#I like the left side better than the right. and the upper right is the least convincing
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lucian-evander · 1 year
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Fuck it all and spécially christmas, family and catholicism
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paper-mario-wiki · 8 months
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and also if ssniperwolf doxxing is such a Bad Thing. Why hasnt there been a police report about it? Jacksfilms is a white man who owns a house, its not like the police arent gonna believe him.
but i guess its easier to just shit on women the moment they do something bad. 🤷‍♀️
got this and one other ask from this person, and im definitely not posting all that shit.
im a pretty firm believer in the "just let girls live" philosophy, but nah sssniperwolf is a bad person who is actively causing harm. sssniperwolf is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than jacksfilms, each of her daily uploads getting millions of views. YouTube constantly promotes her channel on twitter because she makes them a shitton of money, and her content is made ENTIRELY of stolen videos. She sometimes doesn't react, she just steals content. She refuses to even give a single piece of credit. It's not that she's a reaction channel, it's that she is unethical and getting rich anyway.
And Jacksfilms FAMOUSLY has been ripping on reaction channels since the fucking RayWilliamJohnson days. This is like, one of his things. He is part of OLD YouTube, and is a huge proponent of defending the rights of small creators and encouraging original content. The channel he has about this, jjjacksfilms, credits every creator they can find that she doesnt, and also gets in touch with some of the creators, all of which have reported never being contacted before her stealing their videos.
Sssniperwolf, despite being a woman, is fallible. Don't come into my askbox defending her from this, frankly, extremely manageable backlash she is getting. It started with asking her to simply look at the names of the people whose videos she was stealing and putting them in her video. Crediting them. And she has not only been aware of this the entire time, but she's been actively and publicly mocking Jack. It is getting out of hand because she STILL refuses to do this extremely simple, reasonable thing. Something that, one might even say, she is obligated to do.
Also, doxxing is a bad thing even if it isn't illegal (which it is). It's a threat. Showing someones home online is a deliberate tactic to make someone feel as though they are vulnerable and powerless. What about that is not a Bad Thing? Dunce.
I'm sorry to tell you this anon. But women are capable of being bad people too.
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menlove · 1 month
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[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]
answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but
oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao
i don't know (johnny johnny)
this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3
2. paris
this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:
After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”
“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”
okay! also in an interview once he said:
The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.
(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)
3. if i fell
this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.
4. oh! darling
rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.
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like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.
5. the real life demo
this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:
"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."
which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.
6. If Paul Were A Woman-
shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:
"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"
okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:
"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."
just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.
7. stuart!
not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least
8. john's bisexuality
here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao
9. paul's post-beatles work
there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:
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we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.
and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:
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bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)
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which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning
and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.
10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"
this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:
"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."
he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay
SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy
11. in my life/i will
these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:
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and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually
12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes
"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.
13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions
some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|
and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.
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cleolinda · 7 months
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The happenings, Tumblr edition
Obviously I am not happy about the prospect of Tumblr going into sunset "guess we'll just let it die" mode (or possibly "Let's sell it to fuck knows who!!"), if that is indeed what is happening. My clinical anxiety needs a lot of things. This is not one of them.
I've been using Tumblr as my primary hangout for pretty much exactly a year now. I am tired of watching platforms enshittify and crumble. Why does this keep happening to us. I am weary.
At the same time, yeah, Twitter is dogshit now, but a year after it got taken over, it is there still. There were some problems on Reddit, but it's thoroughly still there. There was time to figure out some migration for all the good it did.
I worked on essay-type posts and recaps all this year to figure out approximately how many spoons I have and how much I can expect to post a month, before I actually got the Patreon running in October. A solid 1-2 Long Posts a month, it seems like, and maybe more frequently if I do shorter posts. And Tumblr has great opportunities to just keep reblogging and sharing things, sometimes adding comments, so I feel like I'm active even when I'm stuck trying to finish a post of my own.
So now, fuck me, I guess
So I have the Patreon as a way to say, hey, I'm here no matter what else happens, sign up for the ~*free*~ weekend linkspam/check-in, here's what I posted wherever this week, I'll put up some early or extra stuff if you'd like to upgrade to a fancy tier someday. It is truly most important to me for people to just know where I am; you don't have to commit to the $1 or $5 tiers.
But I also want a way to post my writing publicly, so people can, you know, see it. So I'm gonna start mirroring my own longer posts on Dreamwidth, I guess. That's the place I know to go back to.
Hopefully Dreamwidth does not go also down in flames!!!!
I've started archiving some of my work (also from LJ and Twitter) as PDFs in Dropbox. Mostly as a safeguard for myself, but I'll make it a public link on the Patreon.
I would really like to keep up with where people are going, what sites people are going to try to migrate to next, and I'll pass that info on as I get it.
All that said, I think most of us will stay on Tumblr as long as we can, if only for the very unique shoot-the-shit culture it has. Like, people aren't leaving it so much as preparing for the future.
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trashfangirlsworld · 2 months
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I've been ia for a while because of how lowkey hostile this community has become lately, and I will probably continue to be so until there's a proper resolution, whatever it may be. However, I've seen some stuff that has been said by some of the ex qsmp admins in the midst of them recounting their experiences that I cannot help but be greatly bothered by, and, as a non english speaker, is important for me to say.
The way that they have been bashing quackity for making statements in spanish, his native language, and for streaming in the time zone he lives in, is not okay. I've said in another post about how disgusting I think these kind of comments are, and being an affected party in the admin situation does not make you an exception in my opinion.
The admins have every right to talk about what they went through, their feelings are valid and they absolutely deserve compensation for their work, because they were treated horribly, there's no doubt about that, but they are not immune to criticism, especially if it's about casual xenophobia. This does not stop at lèa's interview, as lumi also didn't have a spanish translation for her document, something that prior to the interview, I didn't think about too much, but now, I can't stop thinking about. Mind you, when it comes to xenophobia, there is absolutely no denying what the french and brazillian communties went through, but you do not fight xenophobia with xenophobia.
I completely understand that it's not easy to be the one to speak about any type of abuse they suffered, I said before that because of how shitty this situation is, that all sides would make mistakes and choices that people would not like, and for me this is one of them. As stressful as it must be for them, the ex admins have a lot of eyes on them right now, and saying these kind of things have consequences; I have seen way too much xenophobia towards the hispanic community and it's actively horrible to see because, unlike other times, the other communities are seemingly ignoring it. A twitter post saying that you do not condone harrasment does not erase what you publicly said previously.
I'm gonna be honest there's more that I did not like about that interview, the way that lèa talked about the admins that are still on the team, her response to the fact that she leaks stuff... I just... didn't like it, but I wanted to talk about the whole "quackity spoke spanish" thing because it's something that I feel really strongly about. It is NOT easy to make any statements in a language that you do not natevely speak, let alone very important ones, no matter how good you are at it, to write all of this it took me two hours and I probably still made mistakes or misspoke somewhere.
I do not how to end this post, I'm just frustrated that this fandom now goes at each other throats at littlest things without question or critical thinking and that xenophobia is now so normalized. I just... expected better I guess
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loupy-mongoose · 4 months
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I wanna try something else this year. This time something I've wanted to do since before I joined Tumblr.
Heads Up: This post is explicitly Christian in nature, and the following reflects my belief as such. If that sounds like something you'd rather skip, feel free!
And if you disagree with my beliefs, that's fine too, but I'm not up to arguing. So please don't get on my case. I reserve the right to block as I see fit. That doesn't mean I'll automatically do it, but just know that it's a possibility! (Look, I'm just nervous and trying to cover my butt. X3)
I kinda want to try posting more Christian stuff--after all, I am a follower of Christ, and I never meant for that to be a hidden fact about myself. Before anyone asks, no, I'm not gonna hate on or condemn anyone, or push anyone to believe as I do because of it! That's not my job. My job is to be the Lord's loving hand to people. You all do you, and let me do me, and I'll do my best to do it in love! (However, I am human, and may mess up sometimes, as we all do.) It's intimidating to post Christian stuff publicly, not so much for fear of people getting at me, but because I feel inept at it, for a few different reasons. I guess my fear isn't the haters, but the ones who want to know more. X3
But I wasn't meant to just stay silent.
I want to live in love, but I also want to make known Who that love comes from.
Anyway, I've had this idea to do a "Worship Wednesday", where I post a Contemporary Christian song every Wednesday (or just as often as I can) and talk about what stands out about them to me.
And the reason I felt like finally going through with it is, I heard this song yesterday, and I feel called to share it.
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Don't Stop Praying--Matthew West
I myself have, sadly, fallen out of the habit of praying, and I feel like this song was the kick in the pants I need to get back into it. To know that I have an All Powerful God of Love listening to my concerns and worries... I like to think it takes a load off. Usually. But like I said, I've not been praying so much lately, and I feel it may have taken a toll on me. My worries have become a burden on my mind; a burden that the Lord would willingly take from me.
I know my Lord will hear me. And for what it's worth, I know He'll hear you too. <3
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nancythedrew · 8 months
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I watched the Arglefumph video about playtesting ND34 so you don't have to
What I think were the main takeaways with highlights bolded and time stamps if you want to see for yourself for the stuff where he elaborates some.
He did not edit the video that HeR posted on their account but he says the full footage was more like 30+ min
He can't reveal much than what HeR has already shared
Played for 6 hours and was told he was about halfway through the game BUT also notes that when he livestreamed his first play through of MID he was at about the halfway point of MID at 6-8 hours too
Does not have a release date or estimate. Just knows he was told sorta last minute he needed to post his video on 10/13/23 and he playtested in September. Threw off his schedule for scary game videos he was gonna do in October.
Thinks the opening is better than MID because MID started out with you in a dark room that you couldn't really see. This is an improvement.
Can't talk about any unrevealed characters
Doesn't know what the completion status of the game is
4:58 "Are the graphics better?" "The graphics are definitely more consistent in terms of characters." They don't look like they're made by three different companies or with repetitive movements.
Wants to talk about the interface but isn't allowed to
Fumbles around trying to explain whether the "vibe" is similar to other games.
More upbeat than gloomy
At least one or two scary things
"Did you encounter the new second chance screen?" "There's a new second chance screen? I didn't see it."
More puzzles at the beginning than MID but not saying a lot cause MID saved most of the puzzles for the end of the game
"Can you control the time?" Wants to answer this question but isn't allowed to
Liked the "Nancy and Ned stuff"
"Concerns I have? I have an answer but I don't think I'm allowed to say."
There's the 3d spinning tool to look at objects
He gave verbal feedback as he played it and filled out a written questionnaire after
There's puzzles in the first hour of the game which is unlike the endless talking in MID
"Logic puzzles or combining items puzzles"? he isn't allowed to say
Doesn't think he can answer questions about the hint system
The cafe puzzle is fun. It's making coffee.
Doesn't think he can answer whether there's a dialogue skipping option.
Can't talk about any bugs
The characters that have already been revealed are his favorites (suggesting there are more)
Basically just sat down and was told he could play as much as he wanted for a day so that ended up being around 6 hours.
"I hope the Herinteractive PR team isn't spying on me right now"
Doesn't think he will get to test the rest of the game
Can't talk about the specifics of where he did the testing
Doesn't know the situation with other beta testers, if any
Guessing release is next year but doesn't have maybe if they're talking about testing publicly than perhaps it's closer
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talking of family day/parent teacher conferences at NRC, think about how much people would want to pick a fight with riddle's mom and maybe even jamil's parents. crowley would hide it but riddle mom and jamil parents would go full karen mode if they found out about their sons overblotting too. they would be even more unbearable than usual omg
[Referencing this post!]
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Heartslabyul forms a human barrier around Riddle 😇 Cater clones have to hold Adeuce back from doing or saying something to offend Mama Rosehearts (even though they so badly want to punch her and/or publicly tell her off). TREY HAS TO AWKWARDLY MEET HER GAZE ("Hello, ma'am. Nice to see you again?") ... I don't know if Mama Rosehearts remembers him or not, but if she does then she'll probably make a face or comment that Riddle is still hovering around bad influences from his youth.
It was so sad seeing the total change in Riddle's personality when he talks about confronting his mom during winter break 💦 He just turns into a shell of himself... (I'm not exactly a fan of Riddle shouting or enforcing his will on others, but such a drastic change in his character when his mom is around... 😭 That's truly an indication of the toxicity he grew up with and how much his mother's teachings were drilled into him.) We never really did see the aftermath of that winter break conversation (if they had it at all), so we have no idea how Mama Rosehearts reacted. I doubt she would have heard her son out; people tend to be set in their ways. If that's the case, would Riddle return to being that meek, obedient boy in the presence of his mom? Or would being at NRC with his dorm mates and his friends give him more courage to hold his ground against some of her demands?? 🤔
I feel bad for Jamil too because he's also in a situation where he has to act docile around his parents (or else be scolded and told to behave). Constantly repressing your real thoughts and feelings can take its toll on someone, especially for as long as Jamil has been doing it... I also distinctly get the impression that the Viper parents will fuss just as much about Kalim (or maybe even more) than their own son?? (Like asking how he's been, asking if there's anything they can do for Kalim, has Jamil been serving him well, etc.)
My hope would be that Kalim, now knowing what Jamil's been bottling up, holds his tongue about the winter break OB incident, but would still be able to speak up on behalf of Jamil. As mentioned in episode 4, there's no way Kalim can make a system which has existed for several generations disappear by just saying, "Jamil doesn't like it, so can you give him his freedom now?" However, I do think Kalim's sociability (and his status, of course) can help smooth over any tension between Jamil and his family. Maybe he'd say something like, "Jamil's been doing a great job looking after me! You don't need to worry about him. He's doing everything he can, so... I'm gonna give it my all too!" And only Kalim and Jamil would know what he's really talking about: that Jamil has said he's going to work hard and be his own person, and that Kalim wants to work just as hard to be his rival and meet him on an equal playing field.
I see Mama Rosehearts going Karen mode more than the Viper parents (though I do think the Viper parents would worry about Kalim's safety and get upset with their son for his involvement in attempting to harm him, whatever his reasons were for it). There is the classic Karen entitlement to how Mama Rosehearts behaves, but the Vipers seem to be more... humble? Or at least not as self-centered... though I guess the trade-off there is that other people (Jamil) bear the emotional burden on their behalf. They're both "evils", I guess--just in their own ways.
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Your answer is complete bullshit. What the dazai anon did is nowhere as serious as what you are doing. You want her personal life basically sabotaged, and all she did was send you a couple of cruel messages that made you have a bad day, guess what? That’s everyday for the dazai anon. She’s just fucking tired of the treatment her favorite character faces form this shitty fandom, even his own “stans” join in the hate against him but there seems to be some hypocrisy against chuuya or even the fucking pedophile mori.
All she did was send mean things out of frustration and anger, she deserves to feel that way. I don’t agree with death threats, but nothing about her behavior is “harassment” or “grooming minors” you’re all dumb fucking idiotic children and it shows seeing how you label petty internet fights as “crimes”, at the end of the day, did you lose your degree? did you lose your job? are you in constant fear and suicidal ideations because you’re scared you’re going to jail over THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHUUYA NAKAHARA of all things???? No! You are completely fine and living your life with no fears or anxieties as she is. Your blog is also completely useless btw! No one is gonna make a case on this, your parents didn’t which is why they asked u to delete the previous blog. Follow their advice again and leave the Dazai anon the FUCK alone and have the balls to actually face her without holding legal threats over her head. You pieces of shits.
What she does is tell people to kill themselves and say that she hopes they die, that their pets die, that they fail their finals, that their mental health/life gets worse. All over fictional characters, and we are just documenting it. At most she might get a fine, or have her Tumblr/Twitter privileges removed. I'm not sure how that second one would play out but I know people have been banned from sites.
As for the. having a bad day bit. I've mentioned this to her before but I have several disorders that make everyday hard for me too, most notably that I've been either passively or actively suicidal for the last 6 years. How do you think her damn near constant hate and harassment of me and my friends affects my mental state? I say it doesn't get to me because it doesn't incapacitate me and I don't want my friends to worry. The shit builds up. I have blocked her, I have reported her, I have ignored her, I have asked her to leave me alone. None of that has worked.
I understand the frustration she goes through, that's the whole reason I don't interact with the pjo fandom anymore. I was taking everything personally, I couldn't play nice with others and I realized that I was problem so I stopped interacting with it. That is my oldest special interest that has kept me alive multiple times. I do not post about it. Because it is unreasonable for me to ask everyone else in the fandom to only see it my way.
She has become the problem here and needs to deal with that. It is not fair to everyone else here for her to decide that her way is the only right way and everyone who disagrees is against her specifically. She absolutely has every right to feel angry or frustrated but she does not have the right to take that out on everyone else, if she doesn't want to block people and respect people blocking her she needs to leave until she can play nice.
As for the legal action, she can stop harassing people right now and case will likely go nowhere. And I have tried to talk to her about the things she does without "threatening legal action" and she called me a cunt and stupid and jobless and a dickrider and a doormat. She isn't willing to talk things out and treat others with respect, so we have this blog. And we have gotten a few asks regarding legal action, we haven't answered them publicly because Kavya tends to harass anyone mentioned here.
-2
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catboybiologist · 5 months
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I think people that post photos of themselves on tumblr like you are very brave. Aren't you scared of irl people finding your blog?
Brave or just extremely stupid tbh.
This has already happened multiple times. Most of the time, it's been friends that already knew I had a place to post these kinds of pictures online, so did a little digging. And I didn't care, I would've told them my username if they asked, and they knew that. Some of them follow me here. I've also openly told other friends.
And there's probably more, including cishet friends, that may have stumbled across me somewhere, and just haven't mentioned it irl. I'm technically closeted, but my transition is an open secret at this point considering how many people explicitly know in my life. I suspect that some people are just waiting for me to say something before they mention anything trans related.
It was nerve-wracking at first, but I stopped caring too much largely because I reached a kind of extreme point related to this. This is gonna be a bit vagueposty, but the first time someone found this account, it ultimately ended very, VERY poorly. But I pushed through, along with several other bad things going on in my life, so now I kind of have a "fuckit" mentality about it.
But yeah.... Mostly it's just stupidity and a lack of caring. I want this in my life and I don't have the energy to care what other people think about it. That'll probably bite me in the ass, like it already has once, but we'll deal with that when it happens. Worst case I can always just quote everything and work on a remote bioinformatics job from wherever the fuck or something.
I do have small limits though. For example, I don't want to like... Overtly associate my research topic with this online presence, and so I'm a little evasive talking about what I actually research. I also won't outright state what my uni is even if it can be figured out. And don't try to guess either of those publicly bc I'll just ignore it.
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thewertsearch · 8 months
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Ask Comp 19/10
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That's true - we don't know for sure that Trollian can fully emulate Sburb's surveillance capabilities.
If the trolls were sufficiently motivated, though, they wouldn't actually need to. Sollux could probably hack one of the kids' computers, to gain access to their Sburb viewport - although if he did, he wouldn't need a camera to snoop on their messages.
Is there a paranoia Aspect? I think I've finally found my calling.
anonymous asked: heya! ive just finished re-reading your ENtIRE liveblog and i to send asks about some stuff but i waited to finish so im sendind everything at once! (im gonna send stuff in a bunch of small asks so cat can stop just one instead of the whole thing in case of accidental spoilers) (aslo hi cat!) (also its ninnoy, havent sent an ask in a while but i changed my pfp to something slightly more spoilery so im in anon now) [...] the jade pen pal thing, do you have any new theories on who it could be?
None! I'm sure that it's someone derived from Grandpa Harley, but everything else is a mystery.
I have no particular theories about who he is, how he knows Jade, where he got his hands on so many endgame weapons, or why he's got such an antiquated accent if he's watching movies from the 80s. I assume time travel is involved, but that doesn't really narrow anything down in a comic like this. He (she? they?) is a complete enigma, and I'll just have to wait to learn more.
ALsO WHEREs YOUR sONAs? we havent seen them in so long im afraid sahlle might have actueally died of meteor strike (joking of course) also have you realized that "sally" and "cat" are both one letter of from a valid kid name? you could lend her one of your "L"s
I've actually been workshopping some Quest stuff for Sahlee this week! I suppose I'd need to figure out her Title first, though, and for that, I'd need to get a more solid idea of her personality, and how her experiences on Alternia have shaped her.
in one of your last posts you seemed to imply that the multiverse exists inside the timeline, but ive always read it as the opposite, the timeline inside the universe that would explain why the trolls can pick any time from the humans universe to talk to them but cant have private conversations with their own futute/past selves, its not an inherent part of trollian, they are just outside the human timeline (the memos are still trollian being time fucky) dont know if that makes any difference but its a thought also i realize the tag may be unecessary due to my quirk, but its too late to stop now
(NOTE: quirk omitted for readability, but the substitutions are [t -> 7, s -> 2] - sort of a variant of Sollux's quirk. I actually don't think we've seen any quirks which add a 7, so the voice here is distinct from any trolls we've seen so far. I like it!)
Originally, my assumption was that each timeline contained a duplicate of the entire multiverse. Doomed timelines don't seem to let you communicate with other universes/dimensions, though, so they don't need to contain other sectors of reality. I'm currently of the opinion that doomed timelines only contain an instance of the dimension they were doomed in. The only timeline which contains the entire multiverse is the Alpha.
This mechanic keeps doomed timelines simple, but in-universe, I don't know why it exists. Much like the Alpha itself, it's a mystery I can only speculate about.
has the shipping chart been updated since the last time we saw it? also you (at some point) said that equius<>feferi was a controversial ship so i had to go back to check the notes and i was the only person i found talkig about it so i guess im the whole controversy? if thats the case i would like to thank you for recognizing me as the equius<>feferi number 1 hater (all jokes of course)
I got a few skeptical asks about Equius<>Feferi, but you're the only one who discussed it on the post itself. I guess by some measures, you are the most dedicated hater, because your hate was posted publicly! 🤣
I could make one or two changes, but I don't want to post a new chart until the kids meet the trolls in person, hopefully at the end of the Act!
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The Scratch, naturally - but I'm also looking forward to seeing exactly how WV was Exiled. He's currently on Skaia, and Jack has lost interest in him, so who's actually sending him through the portal?
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Tavros is barely a presence on the Land he's ostensibly the hero of, and all of his actions are being dictated by a third party who can physically control his body. This third party does not acknowledge or respect Tavros's own desires, effectively forcing him to play the game in a way that she personally approves of.
She claims it will make him stronger.
@bladekindeyewear submitted: That was a long, thorough, and fantastic response! It's fascinating seeing your opinion on these things-- and I'm glad to see that considering the questions we've given you seems to have made you more paranoid. But I'm just not entirely sure you're paranoid ENOUGH. Not yet. Much like how you just found that "BREEZE" quote in your Breath research, back at around the time you've now reached in the comic, we had dozens of theory-miners combing back through everything that had been said and shown in Homestuck, over and over again, searching for anything we might have missed that might have been of some importance. [...] So, uh….. how do I put this… Would you prefer to strictly handle that sort of thing all by yourself, as you've said? Which I'd agree is still the best way that you should keep to, for the most part? Or would you mind if I gave you just a CRUMB of an example, only one? A tiny bit of text that we in the theory community only found at about the time you've reached in the comic, even though it was more than a thousand pages earlier?
Shit, this is such a dilemma. I'm honestly really torn.
See, I'd probably find old fandom theories absolutely fascinating to analyze. I'd love to know how closely my ideas align with those of the early Homestuck fandom, and whether I'm saying anything really out-of-pocket. My analysis of Sollux's ~ATH script was apparently an original theory, and it's honestly one my proudest moments.
But that's also sort of the problem, isn't it? If I dive too deeply into other people's fan theories, they'll start to affect my own - and if I'm introduced to a really compelling fan theory, it could end up replacing any homegrown theories that I could have developed in lieu of it. If someone had send me a well-reasoned ~ATH theory before I did my own analysis, I'd probably have been less motivated to make the analysis in the first place. After all, many of my questions would already have been answered by a clever theory I just read.
People are free to send me their own off-the-cuff opinions on what's happening in the comic, or their own takes on any meta I write. I get a lot of asks like that, and they're some of my favorites. There are also asks which spoil a little too much, but I'm still interested in their takes, so Cat's saving them for later. We don't really delete asks - we just delay the ones that aren't necessarily appropriate for a blind liveblog.
Obviously there's a fine line here, and whether a given ask is a theory or just an opinion is a little subjective - but in my opinion, the influence that asks and submissions have had on my analysis has been relatively minor. I don't think many of my theories have been spawned from an ask, or killed by one.
This is a little different, though, because it's part of a theory that was crowdsourced over several years. It doesn't sound like something that could be inferred by an individual, so I'm not sure if it's something an individual liveblogger should necessarily know about? If I start crowdsourcing my analysis, my theories will be less Wertsearch and more fandom consensus, and I don't think I'd enjoy that as much.
I really want to know, but I think I'll enjoy the liveblog more if I don't. When I finish the comic, I'll gleefully analyze any fan theory that anyone sends me - but for now, I'll just have to wonder, and come up with theories of my own!
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Yeah, we've really been getting into it with Vriska lately. I've enjoyed trying to explain and predict her actions, and I'm glad people don't think I'm going overboard when trying to analyze her.
When a character does something interesting, I don't like to move on until I have a theory about why they did it. Sure, it may be refuted later, but it needs to be something that's consistent with what I currently know about their personality.
Vriska takes a particularly long time to puzzle out in this way. Her motivations are derived from a complex web (lol) of factors, including Scratch, Spidermom, her rivalry with Terezi, her horrendous relationship with Tavros, classism, teenage hormones, quadrant politics, highblood society and the Alternian culture of violence. They all inform her decisions, and any combination of them could have been the catalyst for the latest Vriska Incident.
I want characters to make sense to me, and Vriska is written to deliberately challenge my attempt to achieve this. Her meta is fun to write, so I'm glad it's also fun to read!
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batshieroglyphics · 1 month
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I guess it's that time of year, again, when I ask folks to send me prompts(text is link to my ask box) for the 800-2k word ficlets I send out with holiday cards. (For those new to this, ficlets will get publicly posted to AO3 in Feb/March of 2025. And I usually post the rough drafts to Patreon, if you really can't wait.)
Things to keep in mind about prompting:
I do not anticipate to write every prompt I get, and multiple people sending in the same or a very similar prompt will not make it more likely to get written. (This does not mean you shouldn't send in a prompt.)
I don't write in any of my existing AUs, because I don't want folks to have to be familiar with a longer fic or series to enjoy a little ficlet with their card.
I am not currently writing Harry Potter for personal reasons. Any prompts sent for this fandom will be deleted out of hand. (This does include crossovers.)
I will 100% write a ficlet for my own OCs. I am not comfortable writing a ficlet with another person's OCs unless their creator requests it themself, and are open to me pestering them for more information.
I will write both shippy and platonic ficlets. However, these do aim to be family-friendly, since I don't know who's opening anyone's mail, so we aim for a generalised Teen rating.
If you've never seen me write a ship, but you know I'm in the fandom, go ahead and prompt it. (If it's a ship that I have no intention to write, I'll just quietly delete it, not here to insult anyone's joys.)
Yes, anon is on. Please don't give me a reason to change that.
You can also send your prompts to either of my multi-fandom blogs (batsutousai and the back-up bats-batsutousai) or my twitter (LadyMarvolo). You can also send them through my cohost (batsutousai) or bluesky (batsutousai), but I keep forgetting to check both of those places and don't know what sorts of notifications are turned on, whoops.
BATS' SHIP LIST (text is the link. This is not all-inclusive, just the ones I am 100% comfortable with and down with writing. Yes, I know I said, last year, that I was going to try to put together a platonic 'ships' list. That clearly has not happened. I shall make an attempt again this year, but my promises are sand.)
PROMPTS (just gonna do links to some of the prompt lists I've reblogged previously, just please let me know which list you're pulling from?)
Bats' previously created holiday ficlets prompts list
Line of dialogue
Four word prompts
Numbered dialogue prompts
X Me prompts
I think there's one in my drafts that cuddling related? I'll see if I can't find that and post it some time this week.
And, no, you do not have to pick prompts off the lists. If you've got one you've been dying to send me, go for it. Just, please keep in mind that I'm only looking for short ficlet prompts at this time.
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emeryleewho · 6 months
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I've been writing since I was 8 so obviously I have a lot of work I can look back at and think "egh, that's fucking awful", but the thing is, I have a friend who's been reading my work since 2015, and they love everything I write. I had fans avidly following my writing back in 2016. In 2017, a reader told me at a con that my book was their favorite book they'd ever read.
I look back at that book now, and sometimes I feel ashamed to have written it because I see all its flaws and all the things I don't like about it, but even if it was only for that single day, there was a reader for whom this was *the best book ever*, and it just feels really cruel to sit here and say "that book was garbage and shouldn't have been published" when I know it really meant a lot to someone.
I think of all the times I've seen an artist post something I loved with the caption "This is so bad but whatever", and how that made me feel both guilty for liking it but also down on myself because I knew my work couldn't reach that level. I can't imagine how shitty it must feel to see the author of your favorite book talk about why that book was trash and shouldn't exist. It's not just self-deprecation anymore because there are people for whom this story was life-changing and now I'm demeaning everything it means to them.
And so I guess my point is this: your art isn't bad. Even if it's not on some higher level craft with superior technical skill, stop telling yourself it's bad. Stop telling yourself that you're gonna hate it in ten years so you shouldn't finish it or share it. Stop holding yourself to some impossible standard and then publicly flagellating yourself to prove that you're better than the art you think is shitty.
Because no matter how mediocre or downright *bad* your work is, there is someone out there who will like it, love it even. It doesn't have to be perfect to deserve to exist because it'll be perfect to them or it'll be exactly what they need when they need it, and that is priceless and exactly what art is supposed to be for. And when you shit all over yourself for putting out something that isn't perfect, you may be targeting yourself, but you're also hitting them, that person who just wanted to love the thing you made.
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glittter-vamp · 10 months
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CHAPTER 7
Joe Burrow x Bisexual OC.
Warnings: 18+MDNI. Angsty. Mentions of homophobia. Fluffy. Smut.
Word Count: 3.1k
"Those pinks don't match." Karina says.
"What do you mean they don't match?" Gen sighs in annoyance.
"That's regular pink and this one is ...baby pink." Karina says holding up the balloons.
"What the fuck is baby pink? Do you mean pastel pink!?" Genesis says annoyed.
"You guys are giving me a headache." Val sighs getting up from her chair and looking for aspirin.
"She's making this more complicated than it is, it's an engagement party not your actual wedding!" Genesis says to Val.
"You guys offered to throw it! Of course I want it to be perfect." Karina argues back. Val ignores them and takes the pills with some water returning back to them.
"Okay! Okay... we'll get your baby pink balloons, no worries. Now, the food." Val says going down her list.
"Oh boy." Gen mutters and Karina gives her a look.
"Kelly wants to do like finger foods, so doesn't have to be a proper meal or anything." Karina shakes her head.
"Anything in particular?" Genesis asks.
"Fruit, crackers, cheeses, pretzels...all that sort of stuff." Karina nods.
"Have you guys set a date for the wedding at all?" Val asks.
"Yeah...we're going to announce it at the engagement party." Karina smiles.
"Aww, I'm so excited!" Genesis claps her hands. Gen was a hopeless romantic so this was her favorite thing ever.
"I have a question to ask though...are we inviting Joe to any of this?" Karina asks Val.
"Uh, it's your party and wedding, you invite who you want." Val shrugs.
"Well, we know things are kind of in the air and usually he'd be your plus one but I feel like it'd be mean to not invite him...especially since he's gotten Karina and Kelly us tickets the games over the years." Karina says awkwardly.
"Like I said...it's up to you guys." Val says not knowing what to say to them. It's been two full week now since her and Joe have gone on a break and they've only texted once to see how one another was doing.
"Have things gotten any better?" Gen asks.
"Nothings changed if that's what you're asking." Val bites her lip.
"I really hate that you guys are going through this because of me." Gen sighs.
"It's not because of you, even if that video was never posted I would of came clean to him anyway about what happened between Summer and I. Plus he still would of done what he did as well." Val rolls her eyes at Gen.
"Yeah, but you're still getting hat from people online and stuff...that has to take a toll on you." Gen responds.
"It sucked at first but I haven't been letting it get to me, I've focused on other stuff." Val shrugs.
"Has Joe said anything about it?" Karina asks.
"He just asked if I was doing okay and that he was sorry about everything." Val sighs.
"That's it? He's not gonna stick up for you?" Gen scoffs rolling her eyes.
"Like his publicist would let him, they'd question why he would be defending me if we never dated or aren't dating like we've both said publicly before. Everyone will try to spin it some way." Val chuckles.
"So!? I publicly apologized on my account for basically outing you and putting that video up without your permission. Plus the entire group has  been defending you left and right on social media. Joe could say something if he really wanted." Gen says annoyed.
"I...have to agree. He could at least make a statement about respecting you and his privacy or something because the homophobic comments are all over his own Instagram comments and he doesn't even limit them either." Karina says.
"Him saying something isn't going to change that, it might actually do the opposite. We're dealing with NFL bro's here, they are vile already unprovoked. Imagine if he did say something? I'd have to delete my account." Val says hoping her friends would understand just how delicate this matter is.
"I guess... I'm just tired of seeing you always be put second in your own relationship. Joe's cool and all... but he's losing my respect day by day, you deserve better than a half ass relationship." Gen says getting up from her seat and going to the bathroom. Val hearing that was like a stab in the chest.
"Does everyone feel like that about him?" Val asks Karina. Karina sighs and leans on the table.
"We just want you to be in a relationship where you receive back what you put in, Joe is a good guy but not the best partner to you and it sucks seeing you suffer when you put him first plenty of times and he never really does that for you." Karina says patting Val's arm. Hearing this from her friends was a slap to the face for Valeria. Maybe it was for the best that they just broke up and she focused on herself. If she had to do this, she would have to do this now before the season starts and Val didn't know if she was prepared for that.
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It was later in the night now, Genesis and Karina left a while ago and Val was currently falling asleep on her couch when there was a knock on the door. Checking her watch she see's that it was 11:26PM. Confused on who could it be she gets up and checks the peep hole to see Joe. Taken off guard as to why he was here out of the blue she opens the door. He was in a hoodie and sweat pants and the infamous ugg slippers Val hated that he would wear to places that weren't his house.
"Hey...what are you doing here?" Val yawns letting him in and closing the door behind him.
"I just wanted to see you." Joe shrugs looking at the flowers on your counter.
"At 11:30 at night?" Val questions.
"Who gave you these flowers?" Joe asks looking over at her.
"You came here at 11 at night to snoop on me?" Val crosses her arms.
"No, I couldn't sleep and I wanted to see you." He mutters like an embarrassed little kid. Val takes a deep breath and locks her door. She knew the drill when Joe was like this. This wasn't the first time he came over here like this before.
"No funny business." Val says to Joe making him smile before he makes his way to her room. Val shuts all the lights off and heads to her room where Joe was already comfy in her bed. She knew better than to let Joe stay the night but she knew something else was up with him and regardless of it all, she still loved him and cared for him at the end of the day. Val joins him already being showered and in her pajamas.
"So you want to tell me what's really going on?" Val asks looking over to him.
"I'm stressed out of my mind, I miss you...my parents are on my ass about everything that's happened, especially my mom. The fans and their comments are getting to me and I know they're bothering you. I just, needed you." Joe mumbles as he lays downs and plays with Val's fingers in his hands. She wasn't expecting him to unload like that on her.
"You can still text me and stuff...I'm not going to ignore you." Val says brushing his hair back.
"I know... I'm sorry for showing up here like this. But you're not talking to me either, I worry about you." Joe sighs.
"It's okay and I'm alright I guess...people are starting to leave me alone."
"That's good I guess... but, since I told you the truth, wanna tell me who you got you those flowers?" Joe looks at her with his big blue eyes.
"Why couldn't I have gotten those flowers myself? Why are you automatically thinking someone had to get them for me?" Val asks smirking.
"Because your favorite flowers are burgundy or purple carnations, not lavender roses from...Krogers." Joe snorts.
"Summer got them for me as an apology." Val admits and she could tell Joe didn't like hearing that.
"Apology for what exactly?" He asks.
"I uh...came clean about us to her and she apologized for how she acted when I first told her and for how she flirted with me in front of you that day at the store." Val answers truthfully.
"Mmm...I still don't like her or trust her." Joe says which makes her snort.
"May I ask why?" Val asks.
"I know she's going to end up right here where I am currently on one random night." Joe says somberly.
"What?" Val sits up.
"She wants you, if another night happens like the club night...it's going to be inevitable. I'm not stupid plus whatever is left of our relationship is hanging on a thread, it won't be long before she has your attention again" He shrugs.
"You don't know what you're talking about, that was a drunken mistake which you should know all about as well since you did the same thing." Val scoffs.
"I see the way she looks at you Val, I look at you like that...and you look at her like you look at me...or at least used to anyway." He sighs.
"Joe--let's just drop it. Let's get some sleep." Joe cuts her off before she could say anything to that. Val doesn't say anything else getting up from the bed to turn the lights off. As she lays on her side getting back in bed & setting her devices to charge for the night, Joe wraps his arm around her and kisses her neck softly a few times.
"It's been so long since I've had you, I've missed you so much." Joe whispers, Val feeling his hand slowly creep his way under shirt.
"Joe..." Val bites her lip trying not to give into his touch right now but she couldn't help wanting him as bad as he wanted her.
"Hm?" He hums back as he slowly grabs her tit and massages them in his warm hand making her let out faint moan. Turning around, Val makes out Joe's face with the help of the outside lighting shining through her blinds and into the room. Joe leans in filling the small gap between them and kissing her lips, softly at first but the kiss soon became intense and filled with all the emotion they had both been feeling. Val runs her fingers through his soft hair tugging on it a bit receiving a low groan from Joe. Everything then happens so quickly, clothes were off and both of them were beyond aroused by each other as if they were two animals in heat.
Val went to get into the position she normally gets into for Joe which is always either on her stomach or face down or ass up but he stops her and shakes his head no. Instead she lays on her back he settles between her legs as she lays back onto the pillows, giving her a few more tender kisses as he aligns himself at her wet entrance and slowly slips inside her. Both of them moaning into each other mouths at the feel of one another. Slowly Joe moves his hips, moans and whimpers escaping both of them as they get lost in each other after so long of not feeling each other.
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The next morning Val wakes up to her usual alarm and notices Joe was gone. Sighing as she turns her alarm off she notices a note on the pillow Joe slept on the night prior.
"Sorry I didn't say goodbye, had run to practice because I promised the guys I'd be there and didn't want to wake you. Don't worry I locked the door, Have a great day at work! - Joey <3
Val sighs remembering last nights events and feeling stupid for having sex with Joe like that. She failed miserably at creating boundaries with him while she still tried to figure out what she wanted to do in this relationship. She gets up from bed, still completely nude from the night before and she takes a long much needed shower. She makes a mental note to change her sheets when she comes home and gets ready for her long work day ahead of her.
The store was getting the shipment of the Pride collection today and she knew Kade & Elsa were going to be brainstorming about the display all day so she had to mentally prepare for that. After showering and getting dressed, Val left her condo locking the door and making her way to her parking spot, getting in her car. She still couldn't get last night out of her head so she decided to call Karina for some clarity since she knew Genesis was probably already at work and busy.
"Hello?" Karina answers as Val drives in the crazy Cincinnati morning traffic.
"Hey, Goodmorning! Got time to talk for like 10 minutes?" Val bites her lip hoping she did.
"Yeah, I'm just getting ready for work but I'll put you on speaker. What's up?" Karina asks.
"I fucked up last night and I'm stressing over it!" Val blurts out and Karina lightly chuckles.
"What do you mean? What happened!" She asks.
"Joe showed up at my door late at night, seemed in distress, and we ended up having sex. We haven't had sex for awhile even before this whole 'break' we're taking and I gave in like an idiot going against my own boundary." Val sighs slowly moving in this bumper to bumper traffic.
"What if... that's what you guys might need? It sounds like you guys were lacking in that department. Maybe more intimacy is what you guys needed? Kelly and I always make time for that and it helps us reconnect when we go through a few bumps." Karina says and Val sighs.
"I don't know, I feel like I got played somehow. He was being all vulnerable and then one thing suddenly lead to another and we had sex. Then when I woke up this morning, he was gone and only left a note about how he had to go to practice." Val explains.
"Oh he wasn't even there when you woke up? That's... strange. You're not some one night stand where he can come dip in and run out." Karina responds.
"That's exactly how I felt. Now I'm sitting here confused as shit and feeling regretful more than anything which is fucked up because he's boyfriend." Val sighs in annoyance with herself.
"Well next time you get a chance you should tell him how you feel about this. If you don't appreciate something, say so. If he doesn't like it, that's too damn bad." Karina says making Val chuckle.
"You're right... he also officially dislikes Summer too and didn't hesitate to let me know. So, I have to figure out how to let her know that we need to distance ourselves." Val sighs not taking her eyes off the traffic and she hears Karina laugh. 
"What's so funny?" Val asks confused. 
"He's threatened by her, typical man. " Karina snorts. 
"Why do you say that?" 
"Uh..did you see the video of the club? He know she can turn you inside out like a sock better than he can." Karina laughs. 
"Karina!--
"What!? I'm not wrong. I remember hearing the stories you used to tell us about your hook ups with Summer, she knew what she was doing and you would brag about it...you don't seem to do the same with Joe..." Karina mutters the last part. 
"That's because we're in a serious committed relationship and I'm not going to talk about our sex life out of respect." Valeria defends herself. 
"If you say so, just remember he already complained about having limp dick with a hot model. Ours doesn't do that and it comes in different sizes & colors. When he can do that, then come talk to me." Karina says which makes Val almost choke on her spit. 
"Bye Rina! I should of called Mateo or something instead." Val shakes her head. 
"Hey, I'm just being honest. Even if you don't do anything with Summer but end up with a girl instead of Joe...he should know why so the next girl doesn't suffer cause what do you mean you guys guys haven't fucked in a long time? C'mon now. "  Karina scoffs and Val just rolls her eyes to herself. Val thanks her for answering the phone so early and they say goodbye to each other, hanging up. Having that conversation with Karina didn't really help her clarify things in the way she's hoped but now Val was wondering if she was trying to hold onto Joe despite calling the break herself and she wondered if she wasn't being so honest about her feelings towards Summer. She decided to push them to the back of her mind and focus on her work day.
Making it to the shop, she parks her car and enters to see Elsa and Kade already with the shipments on the floor. She wasn't expecting them to be delivered yet so it caught her by surprise. Setting her things aside at the register she walks up to them looking at everything they were unpacking. 
"Morning guys!" Val smiles. 
"Hey! Didn't think you'd be in this early." Elsa says and Kade smiles at her. 
"I knew the shipment was going to be here but I didn't think this early. They always come at like 2PM or later." Val says grabbing one of the mugs and looking at it. 
"That's cause Kade is messing around with the delivery guy so we're first on his route now." Elsa chuckles. 
"Hey! Don't go telling my business!" Kade laughs but he doesn't deny it. 
They look through the few boxes, Dani eventually coming in for her afternoon shift around 1PM. As Kade and Val move stuff around the store to start setting up their pride displays in the window and another in the store, a man comes in holding a bouquet of flowers. 
"Hi! What can I do for you?" Val smiles politely for him. 
"Hello, I uh...have flowers for a Valeria?" He says reading reading a scanner hanging on his side. 
"That's me." She nods confused. 
"Here you go, have a nice day!" He smiles handing her the flowers and walking out quickly. 
"Ooo, secret admirer!" Kade teases and she just shrugs. Val goes to the back and finds the card in the sea of Burgundy Carnations. She opens it and reads the white and gold card. 
Here's a real bouquet with flowers you actually like, I'd suggest throwing the other ones out. She's not winning this round. - J.
Val scoffs at the petty note from Joe and shakes her head looking at the gorgeous flowers. 
"What the fuck is happening." She mutters to herself. 
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A/N: Joe seems a lil jelly, what do y'all think? 👀
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