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peterspinkrobe · 11 months

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Confession - priest!Miguel O’Hara x Reader [part 2]

Word count: 2,270 (oops)

Rating: mature for suggestive content. Mentions of masturbation. You have a dirty mind… tsk tsk. Religious content. Mentions of parental death (sorry for not tagging last time).

A/N: Thank you for your feral support in reading part 1! The art above is again by @Ejpuki on twt. They drew this moment from part one and JUST LOOK AT IT! They also did a pre-reading which I greatly appreciated. Go support them over there <3 I only tagged the people who explicitly stated bc I don’t want to overstep. Also, I guess I should watch Fleabag? Enjoy! part three is cookin’ in my noggin’

// Psalms 32:3-4

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me;

Rumbling sounds drone from the engine in a constant hum as the bus wheels roll down the asphalt, occasionally shuffling the passengers inside. Yourself included.

The wheels in your mind are conjuring images of too much skin, friction, and want. The mental pictures… different positions and other things that you’ve only read about - all featuring the same tall deacon from your small church.

You curse yourself for both your overactive imagination and forgetfulness for having left your headphones at home. Some loud music would drown out the whir of the bus and push out the flashes of lewdness that plagued you.

Reverend O’Hara, you learned that’s what transitional deacons are usually called after inquiring about the proper title on Google the second you got home from that communion, occupied the majority of your mind. He took up residence in your thoughts without even asking permission and you didn’t know the proper way to absolve your sanity of him. It had only been two weeks since you’d met him, two Sunday services, but you were hooked. This trip into the city was supposed to get you out of the house and help clear your mind of its recent inhabitant.

The methods you were currently using were certainly of no help. Nearly every night, for the past two weeks, you’d given into temptation. Allowing the streaking images of what you could only envision his toned body looked like to remain longer in your mind’s eye. His thumb on your lip, the quick swipe across - became more inquisitive of the inside of your mouth in your imagination. You pressed into yourself and thought of those long, thick fingers. You carried yourself away on highs with only his hands in mind. You yearned to baptize him in your waters.

You buried fingernails into your palms to ground yourself as the scenery outside the bus began the change drastically, pulling you out of your daydream.

Your hometown along the Catskill Mountains was enveloped by the natural world - tucked into valleys of the vast countryside. In the three weeks you’d been back home, you had already gotten used to surrounding greenery. You’d forgotten the toll that city expansion was having on the rows of vegetable and orchard farms in the surrounding areas.

Your gaze out the window watched tree lines and grassy hills give way to glimmers of futuristic architecture as the bus entered Nueva York. The rhythm of wheels on tarmac became a backdrop to the din of honking horns, shouting pedestrians, and blaring sirens. You had only recently left a city not too different from this one, but the drastic change in landscape from the mountains made your head spin. The inertia of the bus braking and accelerating over and over on the intersecting streets only added to the motion sickness. You recognize the next stop as the usual one you and your mother used when coming into the city. You quickly get off the bus, blessing the steady ground underneath as your boots hit the pavement.

Towering structures of carbon fiber and glass dominated the skyline, some illuminated by bright neon light displays, others blending into the afternoon sunshine. Advertisements for fast foods, fast money, and fast cars flickered on screens everywhere. You look to where the bus carried you from and, in contrast, the countryside stretched out, calling you back. Despite the slight familiarity in the maze of metal, the sudden change in surroundings made you slightly anxious.

The steady stream of citizens didn’t help your nerves either. You take a moment to get yourself together before following the foot traffic flow up a familiar street.

Your eyes recognize a food spot from a bygone era and you can’t help but smile. You picked up the pace as you headed to the establishment your family used to frequent. Timeless Treats is still here?! You pull on the long handled door and a wave of music, chatter, and sugar hit you at once. Much more pleasant than the waves of anxiety from moments before.

Entering the quaint eatery, you’re transported into a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of an old fashioned diner. A cheerful man at the front waves you in and shouts for you to ‘sit where ya want!’.

You recognized the vintage decor: rusted signs with cartoon mascots and ads for ice cream floats that cost only $2. Imagine! You select one of the smaller retro tables with two stools and hear a jukebox play a song you don’t recognize but tap your foot along to.

There was more to this diner than what it seems at first glance. A few more glances noticed the subtle touches where the diner had embraced the future where it mattered, with high-tech kitchen appliances that helped the staff immensely. A holographic menu pops up across the portion of the table you're sitting at and you slide your finger along the options.

This bakery specialized in delicious treats with a futuristic flare, with many favorites being popular since the establishment opened generations ago. Your eyes fell onto the pastry menu and your curiosity piqued as you ordered the ‘Time Traveler’s Torta.’

All the hustle of the city had occupied your mind until you were sitting alone at the table. Your eyes scanned the other occupants and you wondered what they were all talking about with their sugary sweets. It made you think of him again.

Dammit. A whole ten minutes without thinking of Reverend O’Hara, that’s a record! You couldn’t help the images of Miguel that fluttered now. Only this time you pictured him sitting at the table with you. The two of you share a dessert and you smile at the thought. You visualize his thumb coming to your face to wipe whipped cream from your lips only to plop the finger into his own mouth. That moment as mass replayed in your mind with differing flavors of spice on repeat.

The torta arrives and you gawk at the presentation of the treat. A classic cake with layers of light vanilla sponge, intricately placed swirls of sweet cream cheese frosting, and decadent chocolate sauce. This sweet was the perfect balance of timeless and futuristic as it sat on an oblong, ornate plate.

You savored the flavors as you ate and continued to imagine a date with the deacon. You ask yourself if deacons can even date and the thought pulls you out of your delusions for a moment. Get it together…

As you scooped the last bits of the pastry into your mouth, you pondered your dilemma. Mom always said that confession cleared a clouded consciousness, but there was no way you’d divulge this information to her. Her hypothetical reaction to your crush on a clergy member makes you shiver.

An idea comes to mind that makes you think to yourself that you’ve really gone mad.

The madness pushes you from your seat after paying for the dessert. There’s a slim chance what you’re looking for is actually there considering the cities expansions. That doubt doesn’t stop you from following a semi-recognizable path down the busy streets.

Every tall figure you pass makes you do a double take. The idea of the deacon brushing alongside you making you smile. You turn a corner as your imagination creates sweet scenarios with Reverend O’Hara and stop in your tracks. You cause people behind you to push into your back and spit harsh murmurs at you.

It was still there.

You were surprised for good reason. You were headed towards a relic of past times, nestled between buildings of glass and metal. There was some scaffolding supporting it as the building you headed towards was centuries old. Other than that - the structure you now stood and stared at jutted towards the sky in the old brick and mortar style you were used to seeing in your hometown.

But the Cathedral of Nueva York wasn’t like the humble church in your hometown. The ornate bell tower and large cross atop the chapel in front of you proved that. The only thing to change about the building was the name as the state itself saw many changes a few decades ago - including the name of the actual city.

You find yourself reminiscing on the few times you’d been to the church as you walked inside. Your family used to attend the fancy Easter services and Christmas plays. Those trips stopped after your father passed, and your mother rarely came to the city at all anymore. You remember seeing pictures of them on their wedding day at this very church. Priesthood is a tight knit group and Father Steen knew the head priest, who extended their church for their wedding services.

Given it was a weekday afternoon, there weren’t many souls inside. Despite the numerous options for seating, you sat in your usual middle pew, aisle seat.

You eyed the part of the church that had brought you here in the first place. The confession booth. Its cherrywood exterior made you think of those eyes that bore into yours that day of communion. You shake your head but the visual remains.

The church in your hometown didn’t have a confessional booth. Even if they did - why the hell would you confess there? To the subject of your lustful desires? So many questions and doubts enter your mind.

Could you really do this? Confess to a priest that you pined over a man in his chaste brotherhood? Think of the judgment!

Another thought occurs to you: their whole shtick was that only one entity could do the judging. And it was confidential. If you received some good ol’ fashioned Catholic scolding and Hail Mary’s, maybe that would be enough to get you back to your senses. Reverend O’Hara is a man devoted to God and cannot be hindered by the whims of a degenerate like yourself.

Emboldened by the potential to relieve yourself of your corrupt thoughts, you stand and approach the far right front of the church. The confessional is smaller than it looked from how you remember as a child and teen but it doesn’t stop you from nearly yanking the door open. You don’t even knock.

Thankfully no one is on the confessing side as you burst into the tiny box. The confined space became even smaller as you closed the door behind you quickly. Your mind races towards impure thoughts of the deacon pressed against you in the tight booth space. His height would force him to bend slightly over you and the visual almost knocks you onto the bench which would probably be right at crotch level…

You remember the times you’d done this before and cry out the usual, “Forgive me, for I have sinned and it has been many years since my last confession…”. Who were you even asking for forgiveness? You think for a moment about the last time you were in this booth. You felt so guilty about stealing from the general store all those years back. This was a different kind of confession. This would hopefully absolve yourself of the sinful attraction to the forbidden.

You start light, fumbling over the words, “I’ve gotten drunk and high, uh, a good bit while in college. I lied to my mother and got into major trouble as a result. I’ve been selfish and lazy.”

The anonymity and the release of it all lit a fire under you and you kept going.

“While I’m in this confession booth, and I know it is a sacred and holy place”, you sigh and hear shuffling on the opposite side of the wall, the priest waiting patiently on the other side. “I’ve been struggling with my faith and don’t believe in god…”

You hear the clergyman start to interject but the voice that comes out of you has a fierce tone.

“I’m not done.” Now it was the priest’s turn to sigh and you see movement through the small slits in the partition, but hear nothing else. You continue. The most scandalous part to admit had yet to be said.

“Father, I’ve been lustful over the deacon at my church.” There’s silence on the other end and before embarrassment can take over you continue, “I’m constantly thinking of him and having impure thoughts that drive me to-“ oh god, here it is

“Touch myself. Daily. With this deacon on my mind.” You can’t stop the heat from painting your cheeks a deep red.

“I feel guilty because he isn’t for me to think that way about. From just the two times I’ve seen him, I know he is a good man who does good things. He’s on a path towards righteousness. He’s worthy.” To your shock, you feel tears form and they begin to fall.

“I’m a sinful nonbeliever. Definitely not someone he could be with, unworthy of devotion of any kind. And I’m not good.” Your breathing becomes shaky as the tears fall harder. Despite the fact that you feel your words are the truth, you can’t help but imagine him there now. Comforting you as you cry.

Now that you’ve finished confession, you expect to hear an outburst of disapproval or at least ‘50 Hail Mary’s’ to absolve you of your confessed transgressions.

But that’s not what you heard next.

You hear your name. You hear your name in that sweet music that’s been ringing in your ears the last week or so. This time the musical tone is cautious. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief as your eyes glue to the wall where the music came from.

To confirm your suspicions, you grab the knob on the partition and yank it back.

Through the small window you see a familiar pair of eyes analyzing your face, heavy with worry.

Reverend O’Hara had just taken your confession…

I pray you liked this, dear reader.

Tagged ppl - @friendlynbhdzero @ceoofghosts it won’t let me tag you @hoelychildofgod

#miguel o'hara #fanfic #miguel x reader #priest!miguel #priest au #au fic #across the spiderverse #miguel x you

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avaf00rd · 5 months

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Little shits Pt 3

Arsenal women x Teen!reader

I know a promised this a few days ago but it actually took ages.

Like always enjoy!!

Warnings: spelling mistakes in too tired to read over xxx so if something doesn’t make sense it probs doesn’t

part 1😚

part 2😚

————————————————————————

“What time will you be ready?” Asked Katie through the phone. Whenever she went grocery shopping she would take you with her so you can do your shop. Then she claimed she could also make sure you buy the right foods for a girl living on her own.

You actually liked grocery shopping, it was so much fun now that you were living alone and got to pick the foods for your own kitchen. “Like now. Head over now”

She soon hung up the phone and found herself out the front of your building. You go down the lift and found the white car. You went to walk to the front seat when you found Caitlin in the front. She poked her tongue out at you from behind the glass as you smiled and hopped in the back, only to find a grinning Kyra sitting on the other side of the row. “Kyra!” You exclaimed as you hugged the girl.

“I’m coming” smirked Kyra at you

“Yeah and no being little shits!” Caitlin exclaimed from her seat

“Hi Cait” you said kissing her cheek, Katie pecked your shoulder as you hugged her from behind her seat. After 20 minutes on the road, Katie pulled her car up to the parking lot of the grocery store. Before leaning back to face you and Kyra.

“Ok no going crazy. Specifically you Kyra” Katie said as Kyra gave the older girl a ‘really?’ Look before she continued “have you got your list y/n?”

“Yes mum” you dragged out the last word as you got onto your notes app to check. Kyra only came along cause she was apparently ‘bored’. She already went shopping with mini, even though mini had only been in London a week, she was not happy with the 23 year old’s kitchen.

You all walked in the entrance with you grabbing your shopping basket. After 10 minutes, you were grabbing pasta stuff in one of the aisles, when exiting said aisle. Kyra and her obese puffer managed to knock down one of the cardboard-built shelves, with bottles of fake tanner on the shelves. The noise of 30 bottles of tan falling to the ground made the entire store turn around. You felt embarrassment standing next to the girl so you walked away from her, hiding into the next aisle, trying to hold onto your laugh.

“Sorry” Caitlin announced quietly to workers and other shoppers around as Katie and her knelt down to help the very embarrassed girl. You finally finished all of your shopping as you lined up to pay for yourself. You felt a light shove to your back from behind.

“Oi why did you leave me” Kyra complained “that was the worst thing I have ever experienced” she winged leaning into your shoulder whining.

“Are they done?” You asked Kyra, motioning to Katie and Caitlin

“Apparently not” Kyra said now standing behind you with her bag of chocolates, full on pushing in front of the middle aged woman in the line.

——————————

You were in your room packing a suitcase for Switzerland. Arsenal had some brand sponsorship situation with a travel company that you didn’t understand. But all you know is that the company was sending you, Alessia, Kyra, Vic, Caitlin, Katie, Teyah, beth, viv, Steph, Lia, Kim, Jen, Lotte, Laia, Leah and Amanda all to Switzerland. All in one house. Leah told you to get super excited cause the house in the mountains must be huge to fit 17 girls in.

You texted Leah to ask if she was done packing so you could come down to her apartment. Leah lived in the apartment below you so she took you to things often, you would both drive to the training grounds together so you could get on the bus for the airport.

“This is gonna be sick” you said later sitting at Leah’s kitchen island as she filled up her water bottle.

“Yeah it’ll be cool” she laughed screwing on the lid of her bottle

“I brought my Aussie rules ball” you said wiggling your brows at her, she was horrendous playing it. She let out a huff remembering it.

“We are gonna be in the cold mountains, no one is gonna wanna play with it”

“Ouch”

“Sorry. You know what I mean. Anyways are you ready?” She yelled across the flat, heading to her room to grab the suitcase. You propped yours up on its wheels, turning off all of Leah’s lights for her. You both drove peacefully in the car to the facility, you quickly connected tour phone to Leah’s car when she turned up her own music.

“Ew you just like old people music” you said turning on your preference

“This is not old people music. This is the greatest album of all time”

“Meh meh” you mimicked her as you turned on Nikki Minaj.

“Watch it Missy. And your music taste is just awful” she giggled next to you

“Watch it missy” you said back.

When you sooner arrived, you jumped out of the car and grabbed your suitcases from Leah’s boot, you kindly grabbed Leah’s out and setting it down upright next to the car. “Thank you tiny” she smiled as you both walked towards the other girls waiting neat the bus.

“Ah I do too much” you sighed shrugging

“I did just drive you here. Ever thought about me helping you apply for a driving test?” She looked down slightly at you as you walked together

“Why would I if I have a whole starting eleven who would do it for me?” You said motioning your hands towards the large group of girls ahead, all in their twenties. You noticed Viv’s back towards you as you sped up towards her, before quickly jumping on her back. “Missed you vivvy” you said sweetly.

“Ow you nearly did my spine” Viv whines as you hop off her.

Beth shoved you away from her girlfriend and pulled you into her. “How are you tiny?” She asked kissing the top of your head

“So excited” you hummed, squeezing her tight.

A few media staff would be coming with you. Since you were on the trip with some arsenal sponsor brand, they would film some fun media on the trip. Said staff announced that you could all leave your bags where they were and hop onto the bus. You got onto the bus last and saw Lia sitting on her phone in one of the front rows, you loved Lia. She was one of the sweetest people in the world in your opinion. So you pointed towards the seat, reading ‘is this taken?’ on your face, quickly before she moved her hat that was sitting on it motioning for you to sit next to her.

“It’s so cool we get to go to Switzerland, you have to show me everything” you said to the brunette. Your excitement to go to her country made her heart warm up as she pulled you into her side for a hug.

“You are gonna see everything. I think best travel guide right here” she pointed towards herself, making you giggle. The bus was still too cold for you so you unzipped your backpack to grab your warmer jacket out, you felt the front pocket vibrate where your phone was so you went to grab it. You saw a text from Kyra

Kyra

Im 6 rows behind turn around

You and Lia stupidly both turned around to look at the row before two scrunchies were flown at both your faces, Vic and Kyra both laughed loudly, while you whined at the stinging on your forehead. The elastic flying at both your faces actually hurt.

“Four victims down lets go” Kyra said high-fiving vic with a wide grin.

“You better get her on behalf of both of us” Lia sighed settling back down in her seat.

“The idiot better sleep with one eye open I say” you said making Lia giggle before opening her own phone.

———————

Later on the plane you found yourself sitting across from Kyra and Alessia. You again, sitting next to Lia.

“Y/n” kyra whispered from across the aisle. You peeked over Lia before Kyra waved at you. You thought it was weird but slowly waved back before mouthing a ‘what?’.

Kyra quickly turned to poor Alessia who was peacefully on her phone, “please switch with y/n/n” she held up being hands and pulled out her puppy dog eyes towards the blonde.

Kyra huffed followed by a laugh before getting her stuff and heading over towards where you were , you didn’t realise kyra had requested this until Alessia had made her way over to you. You were honestly getting bored of the sleepy Lia next to you. So you smiled at her before gabbing your bag and going over to Kyra.

“Absolutely not!” Leah slightly yelled from the other end of the plane, who caught you shuffling over next to Kyra.

“We won’t be loud I promise!” You said peeking over to see the blonde. She raised her eye brows at you before giving in to your begging eyes. You and kyra soon pulled up the games on your phone you could play together, you first started by playing Fifa mobile together.

“Aha! Goal!” You yelled throwing your arms up jolting out of your seat, you scored your eighth goal in the last few seconds “I win” you smiled before settling back down in your seat. Avoiding making eye contact with some of the other girls sending you glares due to your volume.

———————

You found yourself and 16 of your teammates at this random building having a briefing with an older man. He told you a bit about the house you would be staying at and how the next three days would look like. You really weren’t fazed by any of the given information, instead just excited to get there. It was already freezing you had put on your large puffer jacket, scarf and beanie. You were hoping to see snow while here.

You all hoped into multiple mini black vans to head to the house, you cuddled into Viv’s side of how cold it was. Both vehicles slowly pulled up a long driveway, you were first to notice the house “what the fuck-“ you said in shock looking at the house.

You received a slap to the shoulder by viv and an “oi” from Steph. But most were also in awe of the house, some taking photos. When you got out of the car there were wide faces and glowing eyes at the large house. The house was huge, covered in dark timber, still managing to give it a cozy feel due to its size, you could tell by the large number of balconies, that there would be many rooms. A wide scene of mountains surrounded the outside, which got you excited for the views from the rooftop you spotted. Lia held the list in her hand of how to unlock the door with the key and code, as all of you girls trudged your suitcases up the front stairs.

You noticed Kyra walking up in front of you, you grabbed a small pile of snow in your fist and threw it at her beanie-covered head. “Ow y/n!” Kyra wined.

“Don’t” Caitlin told you. You made a few of the girls laugh either way, so you didn’t really care.

Lia and Leah struggled for a few minutes to get the door unlocked with the code. But it was a success a moment later and everyone was trying to get in the door.

Lots of “oh my god”, “shit”, “this is huge” words could be heard from you and your teammates. A large staircase could be seen in front of you, leading to a range of bedrooms above. The biggest kitchen you had ever seen in your life to the right, with a floor length window containing the best views of the snowy mountains.

“Ok ok rooms, some get their own, some share, made by the staff” Kim said getting people’s attention, “Little room 1, sweet! Foordy and McCabe room 2, Teyah and Vic room 3, Jen room 4, Beth and Viv room 5, Lotte and Less room 6, room 7 Kyra and y/n - wait no” Kim said as most of the girls agreed, you two could not under any circumstances share a room for the next 3 nights. “One of them is gonna share with me. You two pick, who wants to share with me?” Kim asked you and Kyra.

“No its fine one can share with me” Steph said “you get a good sleep” she laughed at Kim.

“Ok I’ll share. At least ill be safe with Steph, Kyra watch out” you mentioned to the girl, noting that you would get her back for the bus.

“You already got me back with the snow to my head!” She exclaimed

“No more pranks” Steph smiled pushing you from behind slightly towards room 9. When the door was opened, Two huge queen sized beds were in the middle of the room, the comfiest looking beds you were sure you had seen in your life.

“Omg omg” you squeezed jumping up and down like a toddler.

“Insane!” Steph grinned wide admiring the room and its view from the large window behind the beds. You both unpacked your suitcases in the respective suitcases provided.

———————

“Hurry up you two!” You yelled at Katie and Caitlin who took a while to come out and play in the snow an hour later. “Cheeky girls” you smirked at Caitlin before Katie shoved you slightly and Caitlin threw snow at your face. The older girls broke out into laughter as you felt it go down your jumper. You shook your head and moulded the largest snowball you had seen and threw it right at Caitlin’s chest.

Those actions broke the sweet hour of all you girls making snow angels and snowmen into a full snowball fight. Everyone was after everyone at that moment, a hard throw from Amanda to the back of your head had you slowly falling over. You pulled at her feet from the ground, which caused her to join you in the slippery snow. You both were collapsed laughing. You saw Leah next to you, both you and Amanda looked at each other before throwing a snowball to her head. She groaned at the cold feeling.

“What happened” Jen laughed at her

“Just got 2 balls to the face”

“And that my friend is a rare occurrence for Leah Williamson” you smirked before hiding behind Amanda. Since you were on the ground, Leah easily and quickly threw snow at your whole body.

“Your disgusting tiny!” She yelled as you got up and tackled her into the snow, both of your stomachs hurting from laughing.

—————

Later you were snuggled into Lia’s lap on one of the large campfire chairs. A blanket covering the two of you. All of you girls were working up around it while Kim, Jen and Katie attempted to get the pizza fire maker working.

“What are we doing tomorrow tour guide” you said to the girl with her arms around you.

Everyone all turned their heads, curious for the girl to tell what she had planned. “Well we should all go into town tomorrow morning and get drinks and food there for breakfast. I could see the lights from my bedroom so it shouldn’t be a long walk” You all nodded smiling, “then definitely snow boarding for sure!”

“Yay!” You said in excitement. You felt a buzz in your jacket pocket, you pulled it out and opened your phone.

Mum

Hey girl. Hope your having the best time there! So so happy for you, give me a call when you can chick. Mama loves you.

Your eyes stung looking at your phone, You always got emotional when you received texts like this from your family. Managing to get out of Lia’s arms you smiled at her “just got to call my mum”. Steph brushed her hand against your back in comfort as you walked inside the house.

You were on the call for a good 30 minutes, it made you start to tear up. You didn’t get to see her for the last camp in Australia, so it had been months. You talked to all your older siblings as well as your dad on the FaceTime call. You showed them the house and view briefly. When the call ended you went into the bathroom to check your face didn’t look too sad and teary. When it was all clear, you turned off the light and walked out with a sigh. You went back out. There was now an open seat just next to Beth and Steph.

“You good tiny?” Beth nudged you with a warm smile.

“Yep” you smile back at the older girl. Caitlin and Steph both shared looks, with Caitlin then settling her eyes on your face which staring at the ground. They knew how you got homesick whenever you called your parents.

“Pizza time!” Jen yelled loud, filled with pride after finally getting the pizza oven to work.

———————

After a very filling dinner made by Jen, Kim and Katie. You all headed back inside and were just chatting in the living room, nearly all of them having a glass of wine. You tried to get a glass, as Vic went to pour you one Kim quickly stopped her at the stupid idea. Everyone was starting to get tired and you announced you would head up to bed first.

“Night” Lia and Leah softly said hugging you as you were sitting in the middle of them.

You walked up the halls, as your’s and Steph’s room was on the bottom floor, when you reached the room you quickly opened the door and fell on your bed. You put your face in your hands, your heart tonight was slightly sinking at the though of missing your family in Australia. You told yourself you wouldn’t let stars fall. You were on one of the best trips of your life with your team. So you took a large breath before getting up to shower the smell of smoke off your body. You heard the sound of laughter get loud for a moment as you were in your bed. Signaling someone was opening up the door, the person shut it before you shot up to see who it was. Honestly scared for a moment since it was a huge house in the mountains.

You expected Steph, but not Caitlin trailing behind. “Gosh you scared me” you said softly making the other girls smile.

“How are you going puddin” Caitlin said sitting next to you on the bed.

“Alright why?”

“You sure?”

“Well I was feeling a bit homesick before, like missing mum and stuff. But its all good” you said looking at the sheets, slightly fidgeting with them.

“You don’t have to, But we really want you to talk to us when you feel like that. You know we are here for you” Steph said softly. You swore she had said those words 30 times since you moved alone to London to join Arsenal. You still felt insane comfort when around the two girls.

“I won’t lie. You two make it easier. It just reminds me of home with you two.” You said to the two of your Aussie teammates, “Kyra…not so much” you giggled.

“Yeah no not her” Caitlin laughed

“She’s alright. Sorry for always being so annoying with her, and like Caitlin I actually feel terrible about your fridge like so so bad. You need to send me your transfer details so I can give you the money to fix it-“

“Absolute nonsense. No need. It wasn’t even you it was kyra” Caitlin said softly

“Still”

“And you’re not annoying. You are one of the sweetest people I know I won’t lie to you. Sure you anf Kyra get a bit too pipped up sometimes but we still love you” Steph said

“Yeah like little shits!” Caitlin exclaimed adding to her words, Steph nudging her with a giggle from both of you.

“Thanks mum and dad” you laughed as you hugged them. “Ok I’m gonna get ready for bed too now.” Steph said getting up.

“More wine for me!” Caitlin said before skipping off to the living room.

———————

#woso #arsenal women #caitlin foord #matildas #katie mccabe #arsenal #leah williamson #kyra cooney cross #kyra cooney cross x reader #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc #Arsenal x teen #x teen!reader #woso x teen reader #woso x reader #lia walti #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso community

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boltupbitches · 3 months

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Birthday Boy - Justin Herbert

Part 5 of the Layla Herbert series

Part 1 - One Day at a Time

Part 2 - Today's the Day

Part 3 - Cheer's To Us

Part 4 - My Daughter Thinks I'm Ugly

Today was Justin’s 26th birthday and Alex couldn’t be more stressed. Layla had woken up earlier in the morning with a fever and what was likely another ear infection. She was irritable and crying a lot. Alex was mentally drained as she closed the door to Layla’s room, making sure to double-check that the baby monitor was on.

Justin was due back in a few hours from a charity event he was participating in with his younger brother. Alex still didn’t get around to cooking his birthday dinner.

It was hard to believe that this time a year ago she was early in her pregnancy and not on talking terms with Justin at all. She had moved back to Eugene and laid low for a while. Months later she was raising a soon-to-be 5-month-old daughter and living with Justin while being in a committed relationship with him.

Life had changed rapidly for her in a year and she was so happy things worked out the way they did. She couldn’t imagine her life without her beautiful daughter. She couldn’t imagine coming home to anyone else but Justin. Some days were exhausting and tiring more so than others but if it meant she could have her small family to love and to hold on to, it was worth it.

Alex was just finishing up plating the steaks and shrimp skewers she grilled when she heard Justin’s car pull up out front. She shut the lid of the grill, making sure it was off, before she walked quickly to the kitchen from the patio and sat the food down.

Justin had come in quietly and sat his stuff down in the foyer before calling out for Alex, “Babe, I’m home.”

“In the kitchen!” She called back.

Within moments Justin’s tall frame came through the doorway. He grinned at his girlfriend and pulled her into a hug as soon as he reached her. “I missed you guys today.” He mumbled as he pressed his nose to the crown of her head and inhaled the familiar scent of her shampoo.

“We missed you too. Laylay is down for a nap. She likely has an ear infection again,” Alex sighed.

“Did you give her children’s Motrin?” Justin asked with a worried look.

“I did, but she was still crying quite a bit throughout the day. I think she’s teething as well. She’s got a tooth breaking through in the front lower row if you look closely.”

“We’ll call the doctor tomorrow and get her in for a sick appointment.” Justin sighed, “I hate when she gets sick. It feels like there’s not much we can do to fix it.”

“I know. I feel the same.”

Justin finally peered down at the plated food of steak, shrimp skewers, loaded baked potatoes, and grilled asparagus. His stomach growled at the sight of it. “What’s this?”

“Birthday dinner for you.”

Justin blushed and smiled down at Alex who was still in his arms, “You did all of this for me?”

“Of course! You’re my special someone and it is your birthday. Did you think this morning was the only present you were going to get?” Alex teased him.

Justin’s cheeks remained flushed as he remembered the crazy start to his morning that included a blindfold and some handcuffs. He was sure that was going to be one of the most memorable birthday gifts of his life - definitely top 5!

“I love you.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, “So much. Thank you for being my number one supporter.”

“Always,” Alex smiled back, “Now help me take this to the dining room before Layla wakes up for her feeding.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Justin followed her command.

He was hoping for a round 2 tonight of the fun they had earlier in the morning. Birthdays were starting to be his favorite celebrations with Alex involved.

#justin herbert fanfiction #justin herbert one shot #justin herbert imagines #just herbert fanfic

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steddieas-shegoes · 11 months

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Drabble prompt you say? I got three?

1. Eddie being so protective and doting for a pregnant Steve (fem Steve, mpreg, or omega Steve it's your pick)

2. Eddie sneaking cute notes into Steve's locker

3. Steddie with ftm Steve and cis Eddie being big brothers/father figures to mtf Max

❤️🖤❤️🖤🦇🐼

Okay I know me and I know there is no actual way I could do the last one in 500 words or less so I may have to put a pin in that for another day. I'm putting the other two under the cut because this post will be longer with 2 ❤️

1. Eddie being so protective and doting for a pregnant Steve (fem Steve, mpreg, or omega Steve it's your pick)

"My ankles are swollen. This is the ugliest I've ever been. I'm hungry but the second I look at food, I want to puke, which was supposed to be done in the first trimester. And my hair is so frizzy even though I haven't done anything different!"

Steve was whining. He knew he was whining and he knew it was annoying, but he couldn't stop.

This was the worst pregnancy ever.

Their first two babies were great, almost picture perfect, even.

This one was going to be their last at the rate Steve was suffering.

"I know, sweetheart. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah, you can cut your dick off. I no longer need it."

It would be funny if Steve wasn't completely serious.

"Anything that won't kill me, maybe?" Eddie hesitated to ask.

Steve's moods had been all over the place. It's how he first figured out he was pregnant way before the morning sickness even kicked in.

"Foot rub." Then Steve sat up. "No, actually, don't touch my feet. I want strawberries and peanut butter and celery."

Eddie stood up to head to the kitchen, hoping like hell that they actually had all of those items in the kitchen.

"Wait. Scratch the celery. I can already taste how terrible it is. Maybe some carrot juice?"

Eddie nodded.

This was how it had been for almost a month. The doctor said it's actually normal, that he'd just been the lucky the first two times, but Eddie knew Steve didn't like being like this.

He searched the kitchen quickly, startling when Steve called his name from the couch.

"Yes, my love?"

"No on the peanut butter. It sounds greasy."

"Greasy?" Eddie whispered to himself. "Okay! Coming!" He said louder.

He scrambled to get everything together quickly, but paused when he saw the picture they'd hung on the fridge of the two of them, Jamie, and Melody at the doctor's visit that told them they were having a boy.

All this was annoying, but he knew Steve felt worse, and he knew it would be worth it very soon.

---------------------------------------------

2. Eddie sneaking cute notes into Steve's locker

Steve was never going to know it was him, he was so careful.

He'd been getting away with it for two years, always rushing to put the notes in his locker during classes that he knew Steve couldn't leave.

Wish you could hear the song I wrote for you. It's loud, you'd probably hate it. But I think you'd like that someone sees you. - E

It was his riskiest one yet, never having put an initial or something that could give him away like the fact that he'd written a song about him.

Steve would probably start narrowing it down pretty quickly, though he'd probably not assume it's a guy, at least.

Hopefully.

Third period was the best time to slip notes into his locker; He had Ms. Sanderson, who was known for never letting kids leave class, even for the bathroom.

Eddie ran to his locker, shoved the note inside, and turned to see Steve standing at the end of the row.

"You know, last year, Tommy was convinced it was Nancy fucking with me," he said, arms crossed across his chest as he leaned against the lockers. "And this year, I just kind of figured it was someone who was just shy. Maybe had a crush on who I was and didn't know how to stop once I wasn't that person anymore."

Eddie remained silent.

Steve started walking closer.

"But then, a good friend suggested that I may just have an unconventional secret admirer. Someone who would be scared to come forward for other reasons."

Steve stopped right in front of Eddie.

"And now I think I get it. But you know what?"

"What?" Eddie breathed out.

"There was no reason to be worried. I'm kind of into unconventional."

Steve's lips were on Eddie's before he could process the word.

He pulled away after a couple seconds, frantically looking around the halls to make sure no one saw.

"It's okay, I checked first. You alright?" Steve's concern was a lot.

"Bathroom. I wanna kiss you for real. Not out here."

Steve blushed and tugged on his hand to get him to follow him, both of them giggling as they made their way down the hall to the bathroom.

They spent the rest of the period there, and some of the next one.

And long after they both graduated, long after they survived things they shouldn't have, their initials were still carved on the back of the stall door in a heart.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #headcanon #drabble #a/b/o in the first one

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wdwbabes · 2 years

Note

Leaving one of mackies games early? Cuz you felt sick?

((sorry this took so long!))

mackie invited you to one of his games and it just happened to be on the worst day. you received this invitation weeks ago and agreed, very excited to see your friend do what they enjoy most.

then yesterday you got sick. the nauseous type of sickness that does not go away. you do everything you can to try to make it go away, but nothing is working.

it is three hours before the game and now mackie is texting you.

mackie: can't wait to see you in the stands!!

mackie: we're gonna win tonight, i can feel it

mackie: you can still make it right?

your stomach twists, feeling horrible that he is so excited for you to be there but you feel like absolute shit.

y/n: of course i will be there!

you don't want mackie to know you're sick, that's not always the best look, especially for someone you are interested in a more than just a friend way.

mackie: can't wait to see you there! i gotta head in for warm-ups but I'll see you after the game?

y/n: of course

you decide that you might as well try to tough it out during the game since it is only a block from your apartment. you take a quick nap, knowing that you will feel slightly better when you wake up.

it is now 1 hour before the game and you have just woken up from your nap. you take some medication so you aren't horribly nauseous and make your way to your closet.

you pull out an oversized michigan crewneck and a pair of light washed jeans. you throw them on and quickly curl your hair.

before you know it, you are waiting in line to enter yost. you get through security and up to the ticket lady, she asks "can i see your ticket please?" in a very sweet tone.

"my friend gave me his free ticket, he plays on the team," you say, slightly nervous because mackie did not specify how to do this.

"okay dear, whats your name and the name of the player?" she asks, pulling out a tablet and clicking some things.

"my name is y/n, and the player's name is mackie," you smile nervously.

"okay, i got you right here," she hands you a ticket stub with your seat and row number. "you'll be in the box for family and friends of players. you'll take this escalator there! have a good time!"

"thank you," you smile and walk the way she was pointing, still a bit nervous.

you find your way to the box and see plenty of people as well as a ton of food. you help yourself and find a seat. you pull out your phone and decide to text mackie that you are here.

y/n: i have arrived! can't wait to see you play!

you don't expect a response since you can see him skating on the ice for warm-ups, but you send the message anyway.

the puck drops and as you stare at the bright white ice, you begin to feel a bit queasy. you push the feeling away as you drink some water.

the game is going great, michigan is up 2 goals and it is only the first period. it is now intermission when you feel your stomach act up again. this time you take some more medication with the hopes that it will go away.

intermission passed fast and the boys come out from the locker rooms to play the next period. you see mackie skate to his position since he was a starter for this game.

as the second period moves on, you feel sicker and sicker. you find your way to the bathroom and look in the mirror. you don't look good, you are very pale.

you stay in the bathroom until you feel well enough to make it back to your apartment. when you get back, you change into some comfy clothes and lay in your bed with netflix on and a trashcan next to your bed.

you look at your phone once you are settled and see some texts from mackie.

mackie: where are you?

mackie: i didn't see you

mackie: are you okay?

how does he have his phone right now, isn't he playing a hockey game you ask yourself. how did he even notice i wasn't there?

y/n: i didn't feel well so i left early, sorry mackie :/

mackie: are you feeling okay?

y/n: yeah, just a little nauseous

mackie: keep me updated, i'll come over after the game

what does he mean by that, he doesn't even know where you live.

y/n: what

you anxiously are refreshing social media to get updates about the team and the game. you refresh and notice mackie had scored but the zoom in on his face shows that he does not look happy.

another refresh and in front of your face you see mackie try to start a fight, which gets called as a penalty.

you are worried, to say the least.

you refresh and it was a win for michigan, 4-1. you sit back and wait for mackie to respond to your message once he gets into the locker room.

mackie: send your address, i'll be over in 20

y/n: mackie you really don't have to do that

mackie: yes i do now tell me your favorite soup and send that address

you kind of liked demanding mackie, a different side of him then you usually see in class.

y/n: chicken noodle and 12345 s parrot ln, apt 345

mackie: see you soon.

you put on netflix, trying to distract your mind from mackie which is not working at all by the way. why is he doing this? why did he care that i wasn't there? is he bringing me food? is he mad at me? why is he coming over? why?

you run through every question possible until you hear a knock on your door. you wrap your blanket around you and open the door. there, you see mackie. his hair is still wet from the post game shower and he is holding a bag from panera, with a giant smile on his face.

"aw no, are you okay?" mackie says, his face softening when he notices how pale you are.

"very nauseous," you reply, moving to allow him to enter your apartment. "you didn't have to come over, you know?"

he stops in his tracks and turns around, looking down at you, "yes i did. i asked you to come to the game and then you got sick, it is my responsibility to make sure that you are okay." he continues moving, setting the bag on the kitchen counter and then removing his shoes.

"it wasn't your fault mackie," you touch his shoulder, trying your best to show that you really mean what you are saying. "i wasn't feeling well before the game and i still went, so it is my fault." you explain.

you see his face turn into a look of confusion, "if you weren't feeling well, then why did you come to the game?" he asks, now standing in front of you.

"i already promised and you were so excited for me to go," you say, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"y/n, if you weren't feeling well, you shouldn't have come to the game. i would've been okay with that." mackie explains, his eyes looking at you as both his hands run up and down your arms comfortingly.

"i didn't want to disappoint you," you whisper, still looking down.

you feel mackie's hand leave your left arm to your chin. slightly nudging your face to look up, he says, "you could never disappoint me, y/n."

you gaze up into his eyes and he stares down at you. you could cut the tension with a knife it was so thick.

"i like you y/n, more than a friend." mackie admits, moving a strand of hair that fell down into your face.

you are shocked. your brain is losing it as you try to process what mackie just admitted. the only words you could stutter out were, "me too."

mackie quirks an eyebrow, looking down at you with a goofy grin, "me too?" he says, trying not to laugh.

embarrassed, you shove your face against his chest.

"c'mon, tell me," mackie drags on, trying to coax it out of you.

"that was so embarrassing," you admit, pulling away from mackie's body to look at him once again. "i like you too."

"i'd love to kiss you but i'm not trying to get sick," mackie smiles, "but know i would if you weren't sick. anyways, let's get you back in bed. i'll warm up the soup." mackie ushers you towards your bedroom as he makes his way in the kitchen.

you smile as you get comfortable in bed again, rethinking the events of the past 2 minutes. all of a sudden you hear a big bang come from the kitchen and mackie screaming "sorry!" you laugh and flip through netflix.

a few minutes later, mackie walks in with a glass of water and some piping hot chicken noodle soup. "here you are," he says while handing it to you. "do you mind?" mackie asks, pointing at the spot next to you on your bed.

"nope," you smile, "not at all."

mackie sits down next to you and steals the remote from your lap. "next time, I'll give you one of my jerseys and you can stay the whole game. we'll just make sure you're not sick." he smiles and laughs a bit, putting on the office.

"sounds good to me," you say with a smile.

#mackie samoskevich x reader #mackie samoskevich imagine #mackie samoskevich blurb #mackie samoskevich #umich imagine #umich hockey

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monty-glasses-roxy · 6 months

Text

So... so far my thoughts on Help Wanted 2 are that yeah probably playing as Cassie's dad or the conspiracy guy from SB. I'm weirdly not too interested honestly? We seem to have maybe given Vanny some revenge in allowing her to kill Glitchtrap with Princess Quest 4, which is interesting. Interesting to know that's where the fourth game is too.

Moon and Mystic Hippo saying "what makes you so special?" is interesting too like??? Honestly? This feels like the player is the one that got away. Like we survived something, when no one else did, or we just chose this path despite no logical reason and no logical connection to anything at all. Maybe we're Luis here to save Vanessa? Maybe we're Cassie's dad trying to save her, and in doing so, leave nothing to prevent Cassie from joining us in the dark? Or conspiracy guy from SB that just knows something is wrong and has figured out that someone is trapped by the games, with this being their final attempts to do something about it?

Or perhaps, we're one of Mimic's (or Vanny's?) victims, the only one to get away in a massacre and have returned for one reason or another? That does happen twice in the books, so maybe that's applicable here too and we're the one that got away and sealed it away? Such as one of the construction workers for the Raceway that went down there and never came back? Maybe we're there, now trapped underground (since you can't go into the pizzeria in Ruin) hoping Cassie will save us or stop the Mimic?

Mystic Hippo also tells you to really look at our hands which is interesting. Maybe to remind us we're in VR or something? I dunno. Interesting though. There's all those little things like Roxy's plushie being in the dark in the bowling alley, Mystic Hippo asking when we are, all the Glitchtrap stuff happening, the lack of anything Mimic related, the Maskbot having rabbit ears and whatever else... It's all really interesting I guess. Maybe we're the spirits that possess Tangle, or Vanessa or someone, I dunno, maybe Jeremy? Beats me. This is thinking for another day.

Anyway

I fucking LOVE the DJ levels and the carousel. DJ's animations are gorgeously done, he looks amazing and so full of life and character, and the music is fun, he's just so cool. The carousel?? Fucking opens with Sunny complaining that if he was programmed to fix it, it'd be fixed by now lmao and then Moon is just coming at you while you get the three rows of characters moving again. Then suddenly it's on fire. And they added another fucking daycare attendant called Jack-O-Moon that looks dope as hell but I'd bet is making the tags even more inhospitable than before, so thanks for that Steel Wool lmao

I love that Chica is such a nuisance too. Like, they say they're looking into DJ's bugs but not Chica's. Nah you can handle her! She's just going to eat everything ever! Honestly, I'm convinced your job is less preparing food for customers and more preparing food as a Chica Distraction lmao. She's got a massive presence in the game. She's in every food prep stage, the last Fizzy Faz stage, the wild west Fazerblast game and the log flume ride, and she's a really big part of all of those too. This is Chica's game I guess??? Or perhaps this is to show us that Chica is an absolute menace to every staff member ever lmao good for her honestly

Roxy's game is eh. You need to keep watching her or she kills you and if you make too many mistakes she will also kill you which yeah that's fair. Why is her model so dirty though that's what I wanna know. Honestly, her intro speech, like a few others, all feel hugely reheresed like she's sick of saying it over and over which is neat. Foxy has the same thing going on and so does the carnival nurse (who I adore oh my god that happy "I QUIT MY JOB!" thrown in the middle I love it sfdsfsd) but what's interesting about it is the comparison. After the first introduction, Roxy loses that stilted way of talking. She sounds genuinely annoyed that you aren't paying attention to her, and of course in the Ruined version, she sounds in genuine distress the whole time. I dunno, I just think that's neat!

The fact you're using the parts of everyone else on her is interesting too. That's what Gregory did with Freddy, and now someone is doing it with her and she doesn't accept it at all. It just makes her more frustrated with us until she demands a mask. I suppose the thing here is that of course nothing is working for her. She can't see what she looks like and thus, has to go off of how these things are making her feel, and none of them are making her feel better, only worse. Cause of course it would! The other animatronic parts being stuck onto her face obviously aren't going to make her feel better. Her own snout isn't making her feel better because she just wants her god damn eyes back off that thieving kid and everything will be okay again... Hence why she gives up on this and goes back to trying to figure out where he's gone again. Interesting stuff on that one

And sddfsdd Freddy freezing himself in place in cold storage like a dumb. And the fact Circus Baby gives you ice cream and plays games with you like you're a friend and not killable? Interesting! Cool! Sunny being so bossy and stuck up about artwork and the carousel? Hilarious. I love it. Why's the carousel on fire though...

I believe there are still some gamemodes we don't have access to yet, so that's probably where Monty's at. Shame we don't see him at all here but I'm sure we'll see more of him soon.

WE GOT TO SEE MORE OF THE MINIS THOUGH!!!! I love them oh my god. Their model is all YIPPEEEE!!! and I love that for them. They just wanna make music with DJ too! It's so unfair!

And those are my current thoughts on the game. Would love to hear how other people are finding it!

#fnaf help wanted 2 #roxanne wolf #tagging for minigame analysis of her behaviour #fnaf help wanted 2 spoilers #fnaf spoilers

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linabirb · 7 months

Note

For the milgram ask game! 1, 2 for all the MVs, as well as 18 for all the prisoners. :>

tysm aurora!!

1. "favorite song lyrics?"

haruka:

"if only i could do what anyone else could do, the right future unfairly chose the wrong me"

"you praised me by saying "you're crazy", thank you, i'll do my best"

"if with one click and i can reset everything, can i be your favorite this time?"

"mommy, look, i've done great, "there, there, my good boy!""

yuno:

"am i a bad girl? please don't answer. what do you want to do? please tell me"

"what type of girl do you like? i want to become like that, but that's probably too hard for me"

"i'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in"

"so nauseating... so creepy.. will you please disappear? "phew. anyway!""

"let's just do it, please smile"

"desire, bestow and desire again, the episode reloading on an endless loop"

fuuta:

"you apologize if you do something wrong, you learn that even before words, don’t you?"

"you and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good, should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"

muu:

"but i guess some of it is my fault, maybe it’s ok as it is"

"just one more time before saying goodbye, i’m just kidding, please forget i said that"

"let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me, postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret, the stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note, "i love YOU""

"i told you i'm the queen and it's always the same, god gave me everything, everything is as i wish"

"sorry for hurting you, i didn't mean it, i am doing this just because of being bored, we are just the same"

shidou:

"after you cry a lot, of course it will end up that way, choose, how to live your life, we only live once"

"now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display"

""throw down", ethics is a delusion, i’m still guilty even if the morning comes"

"killing, extracting, i still won’t see them again, i need to be tagged as RED"

"the correct answer, i don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding, so hey, prolong my life, i’m indispensable"

mahiru:

"i can't help myself because i want to see your cute confused face, i'm sorry"

"i pretended to be a good girl, but really, i don't want to say "i'm okay""

"we fought sometimes, i was happy to get hurt, let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad"

"clothes food shelter + love and miss you, "see you next week?" sounding in cadence"

"my lethal weapon: "this is how to be in love with you""

"this can't go on, something's got to give, i even love saying the words "i love you""

"tell me, oh tell me, why can't i just do it right"

kazui:

"i imagined that you saying "see you" is the same as "it's over""

"where did i go wrong, probably from the beginning"

"it's for the sake of true love, who wouldn't lie for that?"

"i wanted to be loved, just like a cat"

amane:

"but it’s not scary at all, because it’s love"

"the "it can’t be helped", from the scum who can’t be helped that makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY"

"so nary a sound can be uttered a second time, i’ll crush your throat too"

"after you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless "i’m sorry""

"so there is no second time, i’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me"

"remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of "i’m sorry" that i said to you?"

mikoto:

"snuggle together and say "good night", switch, shake up that brain"

"i'm probably not to blame, it's probably nothing"

"welcome home, another day, another day with that hardly barely there of a smile"

"cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing your gratitude"

kotoko:

"shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion, "i didn’t mean to offend”, "i won’t do it again", how many wins in a row?"

"laugh and i can get to like myself"

"i want to be drowning in the knowledge that i am right"

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

SO UH. tumblr pic limit happened. so um. everyone gets only two frames even though there's SO MANY MORE I WISH I COULD SHOW.

haruka:

yuno:

fuuta:

muu:

shidou:

mahiru:

kazui:

amane:

mikoto:

kotoko:

18. which non-deco vocaloid songs do you think suit them?

haruka: this is like. the most basic choice anyone could ever make and i'm definitely NOT the first person to say this but yeah sure you're a useless child by kikuo will do. also mmmmmaybe happy days by ghost and pals?? that one feels like a more romantic song to me (I MEAN IT STARTS WITH "KISS MY TONGUE MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER JDJSDKSLSL) but like.. some lyrics really remind me of haruka.. wanting to go back to the time when you were happy.. when you were loved.. but also knowing you'll never be the kind of person other people want you to be and you've lost the qualities/traits that they loved you for..

yuno: i've seen this one before and romeo and cinderella by doriko reminds me a lot of her! because. yeah. yeah. also ladylike by kira bc girlboss vibes!

fuuta: UH... bad girl online by minus-p... IDK????

muu: CAN I JUST GIVE HER WORLD IS MINEDHJDKDLSDLD

shidou: UHHHHH.... if we're just.. talking about vibes.. maybe the disease called love by neru???

mahiru: hmmm i might be reaching here but.. ykw i'll go with a clingy boy sticking for 15 years by manbo-p. the level of desperation and loyalty shown there really reminds me of mahiru.

kazui: I DON'T KNOW....

amane: THIS SONG CAME OUT LITERALLY TWO DAYS AGO AND IT FEELS AMANECORE TO ME and it's angel 92 by maretu!

mikoto: fruiting bodies by r.i.p bc. i mean. y e a h

kotoko: again. no thoughts. head empty. sometimes i forget that she exists and i apologize

#i wish i could analyze the frames better or explain why i like them but like.#most of the time i'm like “MANNNNNN THIS MOMENT LOOKS NICEEEEEE” or just “pretty :)”#also as you can see. i love to see characters not doing well #yes fuuta and kazui's second frames are not even them. those losers /lh #COME ON KAZUI IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE HINAKO JUST. GIVE HER TO ME. I WILL TREAT HER RIGHTTTTTT #it's okay muu suffered from that too. most screenshots i chose at first were just. rei #apologies muu her design is just too cute for a side character #also this is gonna sound messed up but. i really like the moments with mahiru's bf either looking like he's about to die or.#well. uh. him already being dead #me watching ily live and seeing his dead body in literally the first scene of the mv: :O!!!#[ 💓 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ]#[ 💕 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 ]#[ 💫𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝: 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐚 ]

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matenrou-fan · 1 year

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Hello~ I am going to send 2 request, if it's okay!

The first is....... Jakurai falling in love with a mermaid princess he met... in sort of an au where they live in a normal world with no known magic or mics powers

Jakurai hears a woman crying on the beach and goes to help her, he discovers an injured mermaid...! she has a human form as well and after befriending her, he tries to get her out of the sea more often to show her his world, he's fallen in love~

thank you for your lovely writing anya! -🌸🍡

Jakurai falling in love with a mermaid princess! fem!s/o

Ahh, thank YOU for such a lovely request! Despite feeling kinda sick, I suddenly got some inspiration for this idea, so.. here! <3

Femreader, hurt/comfort, fluff, just wholesome stuff;; 1964 words;;

Ahh.. Fishing. One of the most favorite things for Jakurai's soul, as it always helps him find a new peace, a new food for thoughts while he waits for another catch. It's like meditation, but in a more interesting way. By observing the water, by respecting nature, by letting nature live on. Dying in some ways, living in others. Jakurai understands all of this, and quite enjoys being all alone, watching these circles of life.

Yet today, walking to one abandoned beach which was his favorite place, he already felt something was awaited for him. Something new and interesting..

Or maybe it's just his mind wandering again? He always has a fondness for strange things and people, and maybe it was just his mind yearning for some accident in his life that would freshen his life, and shake it up a little.. After all, someone as peaceful and calm as Jakurai just needs to be jolted sometimes.

Fresh wind caresses his face, tickling his nose with briny, when he finally steps on the beach. The usual seagulls cry on the horizon, embellishing the darkness of the blue sea with small white spots of their bodies. It's been a long time since he's visited this place, seeing it's now deserted, not even a single footprint marks the shore.. All alone with nature.

Then suddenly, a weak call that was quickly outvoiced by sounds of birds and waves hits Jakurai's mind. How strange, there's no stains on the sand, he was sure there's no one.. Maybe it was just his imagination, stimulated after a few long, hard shifts in hospital for several days in a row, yet as a doc, he just can't neglect a small chance that there is actually someone in need. So all fishing rods and nets were left under the tree as Jakurai quickly got closer to the water, inspecting a curved line of coast.

This voice was definitely a feminine one.. The heart of the genius doctor ached from the thought that maybe he would find a drowning woman, yet as soon as he ran closer to a trembling figure, this ache turned into a cold wave of tickles. For a moment Jakurai stopped, not able to look away from the strange but luring creature in front of him.. A mermaid?

But his confusion lasts just a second. Maybe Jakurai was thrilled now, but a professional habit of pushing his emotions away and concentrating on a needed task helped him to not freeze in confusion. And right now his task was to help an injured woman.

"Here, don't worry.. I will not hurt you." - his voice softened when he noticed her scared gaze, and a small reassuring smile that he always gave to his patients appeared on his face. - "It's alright, just show me.."

Ah.. It seems like some unscrupulous vacationers decided to not burden themselves with properly cleaning the place after their rest, just throwing all bottles and bags right in the water. Cut herself with glass, a young mermaid got captured in the nets right after this and now was laying here, exhausted, after hard attempts to get free and swim away.

For Jakurai, nature was as important as humanity. You can't heal people and then hurt nature. So for him this story was so heartbreaking, as he listened to her weak voice while carefully treating all wounds. He didn't hesitate to wet his clothes just to help her get back to the sea, and then check again if all cuts did not bleed after contact with water.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"Thank you.." - voice still so weak, yet you try your best to sound loud. After all, you actually were really grateful for his help, as five minutes before the arrival of your savior you already buried yourself in your own head.

"It's okay, I didn't do much." - a low chuckle from him makes your heart tickle a little. - "I actually felt like I should apologize on behalf of all mankind.. We can be so inattentive to the beauty of nature, treating seas and forests like that.."

And you thought that only sirens can lure people with their speech, then why does this man have such a beautiful, deep voice? When he starts talking with you, assuring you of the piety of his actions.. Well, you didn't understand a few first words, too overwhelmed with fear, but his tone quickly soothes all your worries.

Maybe you should give him something in return, something from the cradle of the seabed..? Thinking about meeting this mysterious man again resonates in your heart unexpectedly loud, and you can see in his eyes just how much he also gets interested.

"Oh.. What a gentleman I am, if I still didn't introduce myself.." - he sighs and his soft gaze meets yours. - "I should apologize again.. My name is Jakurai."

"I'm s/o…" - finally, a smile appears on your face too.

"I'm glad to meet you, s/o.. There's a feeling in my chest that keeps telling me this meeting is not by chance.. And I hope it's not mistaken belief."

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

And his hopes were not for nothing. As you two meet again. And again..

For a few first times Jakurai just get here to check on your wounds, asking about your well-being, but very soon you both noticed just how much you genuinely enjoy the company of each other, waiting for another meet on the beach with trembling hearts.

Even Jakurai's friends and co-workers start joking about him retraining from a doctor to a fisherman, due to how much time he starts to spend near sea in his weekends. Always laughing at these small teases, Jakurai never took it to heart, as all he can think about is you and the effect you had on him.

He was truly mesmerized. From the shimmer of crystal billows on a long tail to the surprisingly smooth, always a little bit messy hair, you were mesmerizing. And sometimes it was hard even for him to control himself and keep his face as something friendly, not showing this gaze of awe. Only when you are not looking, the blue eyes of your new friend become even more gentle and caring than usual, admiring your angelic appearance.

You were so small compared to him.. Even when you show him your human form, after Jakurai described in perfect detail one festival that would take place very soon, all that he was able to think is only one thought. How much he wants to protect this cheerful woman in front of him that holds his hand and laughs so shyly, mumbling about how long ago it was when she went out on dry land.

And despite sometimes he feels like he shouldn't bring you out of water too often, worrying about your health, Jakurai can't stop searching for new places that he can show to amuse you. The way your face always lights up when he brings you into some new interesting place or talks about things you never heard before.. This bright smile resonated with his heart, lit a pit of his soul every time he looked at you.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

For a long time Jakurai feels like he lives in a fairytale, thinking hard about how he can make the most beautiful, happy ending in the story of your acquaintances.. Just to start a new one, about your joyful life together.

Another evening together, as you two take sunset walks along the beach. Jakurai asks you several times if you want to change into your mermaid form to have a little break in the water, yet you continue to cling to his arm, chirping about how fun it is, to just walk with him like that.

"Of course I can just swim and everything, but, you know.. Isn't this better, when we walk together, and can hold hands?" - your sweet voice suddenly gets quiet, as you look away with a little blush on your cheeks. - "Even near the sea, I still want to be next to you, Jakurai.. I really appreciate you."

Such words send a tickling wave in his stomach, and even this fresh wind can't cool the warmth of his face now. Ah, his plan to take the initiative now was a little bit ruined, and all Jakurai can do is just chuckle, wishing you two would soonly come to the needed part of the beach.

"Oh.. Here, s/o.. Do you recognize this little place?" - a small giggle completes his question when he notices as you look around with surprised eyes.

Nothing changes that much here - sea still tickles coast in a lazy manner, leaving white foam on wet sand, seagulls still drifting on small waves, making a roll call from time to time…

"It's the place where we meet each other for the first time.." - you mumble and Jakurai nod, stopping and turning to you.

His hands stroke yours, with the same light gentleness as always, yet right now his skin is so different, even five minutes ago it didn't feel so warm.. His touches send small electric discharges and you look up, breathing heavily from strange feelings that wrap around your chest.

"I know that our first meeting wasn't that good or pleasant here." - Jakurai start, locking eyes with you. - "But I hope that all you have now, is the warmth and happiness inside you.. That I was able to bring more joy in your life…"

"This place started our friendship, and now it will help us to start something closer too.. I hope this view evokes the same emotions in you that it evokes in me, I hope our souls resonate with the same feeling…" - he leans closer, whispering right in your ear with a low but trembling voice. - "Cause all I can think about when I look at this place is you, all I feel is a need to be close to you.. I love you, s/o.."

Softer than silk, warmer than tickles of rays of the setting sun, this small kiss between you two sends you to heaven, making your legs weak. Your hands grasp his shoulders as you lean closer, wishing this intimate moment will never end.

So many things delight your days after Jakurai appeared in your life, yet you never felt something like that.. Something so pleasant, that titillates your whole body and mind in the same passion.. Is it true love?

"Jakurai.. I.. I love you too.." - all words fade away from your head, as now you were embarrassed even to just look at his face, feeling how hot and bright your cheeks are.

A small chuckle teases your already ashamed figure, yet a small quick kiss on your forehead somewhat soothes you a little, and you look up. These eyes, full of care and sincere appreciation.. You wanted to stare at them forever, and at the same time can't help but look away, overwhelmed with a new feeling that arose in your chest.

"No, really.. I love you.." - you mumble again, trying to come up with some beautiful speech for your confession too, but Jakurai stops you.

"I understand, dear.. Thousands of words will never describe the love that I see in your eyes every time you look at me.." - his voice gets closer again, almost luring you to look at Jakurai again. - "And, of course.. Millions of words will never replace just a small kiss.. So, s/o.. Let's keep confessing our love this way, shall we?"

#hypmic x reader #hypmic imagines #hypmic #hypnosis mic #jakurai jinguji x reader #hypnosis mic jakurai #hypmic jakurai #jakurai x reader #jakurai jinguji

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myfckingnameisnuwanda · 6 months

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CH.2 Money Doesn’t Fall From the Trees

November 21, day 15.

Hey, mom.

I’m sorry to say we are no closer to finding out how to go back than in my first letter.

It’s been two weeks now, and Sam is getting out of his dissociative state. He now interacts more with Other Mia. I think he wants to make her his girlfriend after her and Sammy’s terrible break up. I know he doesn’t want to hear it, but Jake, Felix and I know it’s not going to work. He also avoids his Other Family like the plague.

Not that I fault him. I don’t think interacting with our Other Families is doing any good to the rest of us. Seeing them makes me miss you all even more. And Felix seems almost obsessed with Oscar. Jake is starting to avoid his Other Parents, too. I think he fears his Other Mother may put a restraining order on him.

I think I also should get away from my Other Family.

I’m trying to be objective here.

They are not my family.

They don’t owe me anything. And they have done plenty enough to help already. We are not their responsibility, and we can’t expect them to take care of all of us much longer.

To be honest, I may never have put myself in their shoes in the first place if it wasn’t because I found Other Nai Nai’s account book yesterday. They are losing a lot of money on us. Feeding us and clothing us. Not even helping them out in the restaurant will help, since they have the regular workers too.

We also can’t keep eating exclusively chinese food every day, I’m going to get sick. I’m grateful, but, also, I very much can't keep eating it anymore. I want mac and cheese so bad.

And that’s without mentioning dumpster food. The last donut Jake ate left him stuck in our bathroom for ours. Or at least I suspect it was the donut. It may have been the carbonara sauce (it was just the sauce, mom. A packet of 250mg of expired carbonara sauce) but Sam also ate that and he was fine. Though, Sam’s stomach could be an object of research for scientists.

What I'm trying to get at is; we should start looking for jobs.

I talked to the boys about this last night. They agreed with me after I explained my reasoning behind it.

Jake says he will look for a job at the convenience store, since he can probably get away with taking all the recently expired food to the cabin. He is out right now, talking with the manager. He should get it, after all, they always have that big job advertisement in the window besides the door.

Felix said he would look in the records store, or the library, but he seemed unconfident about getting the job, for some reason. Maybe he fears he won’t get a job because of his appearance?

I just got to the cabin after visiting Other Nai Nai with the news that we were looking for jobs, and she offered me one, as a waiter or a delivery guy. I rejected her offer, but asked her if she would accept Felix or Sam for the job. She looked at me like she knew exactly why I rejected her, and accepted.

But it can’t be on delivery, because we don’t have any form of transport or licence to use one, and Sam’s stolen skate isn’t something Other Nai Nai accepts to deliver food. Too unsafe, she said.

But, anyways, these days, when I’m not in town or with the boys, I walk down the stream of the river besides the cabin more often than not. And in the past week, I have been meeting this old man that spends his afternoons fishing. He talks about fishes, and rows, and bait, and I listen and nod.

It’s interesting, and I’ve never felt this close to nature. I’m sure you would be against it, but I’m going to ask the man for a job.

He sells bait and fishing rows, and rents boats out to other fishermen. He also owns a dock in the widest part of the river, where he keeps his rentable boats.

He doesn’t sell fish, though. He says that’s for him and his family.

He gave me a fish three days ago, but I have no idea what to do with a fish that’s not even descaled at the very least. I asked the guys if they knew how to prepare it, but it was futile. We had to let the fish go in the river.

I will ask him to teach me, when I ask him for a job tomorrow.

We will be okay, I believe.

I miss you so so much. I love you, mom.

Tired of chinese food,

Andy.

<- Ch.1-Ch.2 In Betweens, Ch.2-Ch.3 In Betweens ->

Summary

#long post #nowhere boys #nowhereboys #felix ferne #sam conte #jake riles #andy lau #nuwanda's accidental spell au #accidental spell au #nowhere boys polycule #elemental polycule #job hunting #a local chinese guy admits not liking chinese food. their family owns a chinese restaurant. devastating

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wikagirl · 1 year

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ayooo girlie completely forgot to post her pics from comic con stuttgart. I slept over at my friends place from friday to saturday so we could get going extra early and this is what I woke up to

I got up and did my hair and makeup while my buddy snoozed for a lil longer

I went as random member of camp halfblood on day 1 and on day 2 i just couldn't be bothered and just went in casual. We drove up to stuttgart and picked up some homies, then drove to the con and got in, our first stop was at a crepe shop, those crepes kept us fueled for more than 8 hours

On day one our buddies were there as characters from Rainbow Six and we had an iron mouse with us, sadly our boys are really camera shy so heres a pic of iron mouse sitting by herself and eating a crepe

We spent our first day mostly just walking around taking pics with others and for others. You have no idea how many gorwn ass men came up to us going "OMG TACHANKA" and looking at our two tachanka cosplayers like they just found their long lost dads that went to get milk and never came home.

I sadly couldn't take as many pics on day 1 mainly bc I get anxious a lot in big crowds so my buddy and I hit our hotel pretty tired, but on day 2 we got to the con before our friends and thus I was able to go on a little spending spree and also take pics of all these cute mushrrom folks and nature witches

We also met up with a friend of mine back from school who was there with her own group, at that point I split up from my buddies who on day 2 were there as CoD characters, SCP soldiers and Maid Keqing from Genshin Impact. My adventure with my schoolfriend started out great, one of her wings from her toothless armor broke off and it took us about an hour to hunt down some hotglue for her, but the people at the hydro forge were there to save us and thus some more fooling around happened. Look at her slaying big time.

but sadly all good things must come to an end and so at around 4 pm we all gathered back up at our meeting spot to take some last cringy pics like the weebs and nerds we are

And took one final group picture

and thus headed home. Needless to say, I was starving once I got back, I only ate like one proper meal throughout the entire weekend and besides that I mainly ran on boba-tea and anxie-tea.

also now I have this thing

also for everyone that plans on going to comic con in stuttgart next year, here's some advice: DO NOT SIT ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE BIG DARK WALLS WITH THE HOLES IN IT THOSE ARE THE VENTILATION SYSTEM YOU WILL GET A COLD can't believe it took us several hours to figure that out.

Oh yeah I also came down with the rona a few days after which made me big angy but at least noone else in the group got sick and I had it out of my system within a week of aggressively overheating myself, inhaling steam to declog my nostrils and eating a ton of spicy chicken soup.

And now here's a list of the instagram accounts of my sweetboos so you can go and check out their stuff.

Ironmouse/Keqing: @suppymeggy

The hella cool toothless armor: @linahri

In our big group pic in the back row, the second scp soldier from the left: @max_.kraft

aaaaaaaand that's it the others never gave he their tags but go check out their stuff and don't be like me and bring extra water and eat food or bring your own if you're going.

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jacks-tracks · 3 months

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Covid March 2024

Covid? Really? After dodging this disease since it began through 4 countries , I got it on a mexican plane. Only one on the plane wearing a mask, which proves the conspiracy theory.. Masks give you Covid.

I had no symptoms until arriving in Corozal, then accelerating from a dry cough to sneezing, low fever, lethargy. Hard to tell lethargy from laziness, but the fever was the tell tale. Tested positive(hot red lines instantly 2 days in a row), rats. So, self isolate for 10 days from 1st symptoms, which may be more than needed, but folks here are mostly not vaccinated, so best be safe.

Luckily I'm staying in a little house, with hot plate, tiny fridge, and choice of fan or AC. Comfy bed, airy porch with Adirondack chairs, hot shower. Air B&B, and the landlady lives in the big house, so she checked on me daily. She runs a dog rescue center here, currently 6 dogs as well as her own fat German shepard and even fatter Staffordshire. These are all friendly dogs and I'm one of the pack, giving neck rubs and pets equally. like all tropical dogs, they sleep most of the day, saving up for the nightly barkfest, when all the dogs in the neighbourhood(and everybody has at least one dog) bark out the news, scaring imaginary thieves, making a racket and generally having dog fun. Earplugs.

Being sick away from home is boring. There,s nothing to do except watch old movies and veg out. I do have a food delivery service, ordering on Whats app and getting stuff dropped off by motorcycle courier. Small fee, and way easier than shopping my self in a series of tiny stores. I can get lots of fruit, especially citrus for vitamin C, and chicken fully frozen. All commercial chickens in Belize are factory produced and frozen. Sanitary I hope. Potatoes, onions, peppers, all are here. There is a tiny fruit stand one half mile down the road who had one of the best papayas I,ve ever tasted. So, eat, doze, internet. Sounds like a winter at home except it's 32 degrees.

Bloody hot,pretty humid, with a strong trade wind to stir the air. Days a re 12 hours long, with happy mosquitoes at night (screens) which means no sitting out in the tropical evenings. That's a travel agent myth. Everyplace I,ve been has mosquitoes, from Bali to Hanoi, Costa Rica to Mexico. That's how Dengue spreads as well as Malaria. Never had malaria despite so much tropical traveling, and never want it!

Corozal is flat, hot and boring. there are no beaches, just muck, and no scenic attractions. There are some tiny ruins, but having climbed most of the pyramids in CA, so what. Seems like a place where weary travelers crossed the Mexican border and stalled. Mostly blacks with some chinese, and an increasing population of Mexicans and central americans,. Supposedly an English speaking country, lots speak only Spanish, and the locals have an accent that needs google translate. Friendly enough, but crime is rife, and there,s no safe nightlife. A typical 3rd world mix of very poor and very rich with a thin layer of rising middle class. The traditional wooden homes raised up on pilings are being replaced by the more durable, bug proof cement block shacks. These vary from simple cubicles to 3 story palaces, depending on the owners wealth. The handyman here tells about earlier times when he had a Dory(rowboat) on the New river which divides Belize from mexico and had a thriving trade, moving bales of grass into Mexico and illegal immigrants into Belize. Boats would anchor offshore to drop off goods. Were there police? Yes, he said, but only 3 of them, and they wanted no trouble. Then came cocaine, big money, gangs, and cartels.Guns and gang wars. He quit in time, but now there are shoot outs, contract killings, and , trouble. Parts of the highway are no go zones at night, and chopped up bodies get dumped into the cane fields to be burned beyond recognition. Ugh!

I recall 20 years ago meeting a nice local guy in Placencia who had built some beautiful hardwood cabins for rent. Financed by bale fishing. What's that i asked? Drug runners chased by coast guard boats would dump their sealed bales of pot(50 pounds each), and locals would recover some for resale. my friend found 3, and sold the first one to the dealers for $5000. Second time they told him 2500,and when he brought the 3rd one they flourished guns and said he had to work for them. He said take this one for free and I no longer have a boat, goodbye.. Made enough cash to build his resort and retire. While we were chatting a gorgeous woman came bleary eyed out of the cabin, Miss Belize 3 years before. She was there with her boyfriend, shaved headed and wild eyed. Just out of Belize prison, one of the worst in the world. He did 4 years for manslaughter. Hey, my friend asked, how's Jimmy doing in there? Oh said Mr convict. He got the chop! What? Yah mon, we standing side by side in the morning count line when somebody behind him reach around and cut his throat. Nobody say nothing. Literally: Hey mon, how Jeemy do dere? Oh, heem. He done got da chop.Say wha? Yah mon, we all standin in da mawnin count line and some foker dey reach about and slash him troat. Nobody say nuttin, yo knaow?

I do meet interesting people! Makes covid sound like fun!

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narutomaki · 5 months

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I'm sick (again) with who knows what (again) and it fucking sucks (again) because this is the second time I've been Sick sick with something other than 1) 1 days bugs cause by food/allergies(?) or 2) anxiety and pain flare ups

and the first time I was sick I tested after getting over the worst of it and tested positive for covid 2 times, my roommate got sick with who knows what either covid from me or a unknown cold from their friends in the building

but what this all essentially means is I'm spending New Years alone while also having spending Christmas also alone (my friend celebrates and i was supposed to go over to celebrate with them and their family but SICK) and usually me and that same friend in the brackets send New Years together but we haven't for two years in a row now

and idk i'm just jealous and bitter bcus my roommate is hanging out with mutual friends that don't care that they're sick bcus they didn't test positive for covid but I wasn't even asked if I wanted to try and come along somehow which like. ow?

and idk. i don't like being alone. especially because I do put a lot of stock in New Years day and being with my friend(s) but I'm alone and my dog's sick and...

I got sick because I had to take my mask off for an ENT appointment, where in the end nothing was visibly wrong, where she didn't think the lump on my head was an issue and I was too anxious to tell her that YES the lump does and has repeatedly changed in size and-

I'm getting a scan of some sort done on my head next month (i think) where I won't be able to wear a mask bcus all of mine have metal in them so I guess I should get a fabric mask and see if my n95 inserts fit in them? better than nothing and that has to count bcus I don't want to get sick AGAIN (AGAIN)

so i'm just. sitting alone in my freezing apartment eating a chocolate bar i don't like smoking and working on art and trying to ... idk. just trying.

#just kinda hurts that even if i would have said no that despite what my RM is sick with likely being covid from me/their friend in town they #smoke weed with that i wasn't even hit up at all to see if hanging out would be smthn i wanted to do #like i know they're all just going to be smoking weed and drinking and i hate being around both of those things #(migraine trigger and past drinking problems)#but i could have hung out in the bathroom with the dogs or something while they hot boxed #idk im the boring normicore loser of the friend group and despite wanting to be around them when they're already high/drunk #i wasn't like even messaged myself to be like 'hey i invited (RM) and other friend who you know and like did you want to try and figure out #a way to join us?'#sits here. man. just sitting here.#and like i want to tell them but if i do they both have intense RSD and it will ruin their night rn or in hindsight #and it dosen't bother me that much that i would risk them suffering bcus im kind of upset #abt not being invited to someting that would have been full of triggers and anxiety #bcus im not rlly upset about all that im just upset about being alone and feeling left out #sighs......#anyone else not in the club rn mourning missed opportunities and connections?

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inherstars · 1 year

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Of Cats

Rough couple of days.

We have six cats, aged from 10 months to 12 years. For better or for worse, they're our kids.

The second youngest (Jolly Roger) went off his food and started vomiting on Wednesday. We gave him 24 hours to feel better, and when he didn't we got him into our regular vet Thursday afternoon. No fever, no guarding, he was otherwise acting normally. They gave him something for nausea and some sub-q fluids and said to bring him back in Friday AM for an x-ray if he didn't improve.

He ate half his food Friday night and kept it down overnight, but his half-brother (Happy) threw up his dinner. All the other cats were going off their food as well. We decided it might have been the food and, since Jolly kept his dinner down, we didn't go in for the X-ray on Friday.

Friday night and Saturday, back off his food and more vomiting. His brother stopped eating and was throwing up, as were some of the other cats. Seemed viral, which is strange considering they're all indoor. By Saturday I was worried enough about Jolly that we decided to take him to the emergency vet.

Still no fever. Slight weight loss. ER vet took x-rays and found what he described as something "troubling" in his stomach that he thought could be an obstruction. Advised exploratory surgery, so we signed off on it. Left him at 11:30 that night, stayed up until 3:30 last night waiting for word of how it went, but the vet never called. Other cats still alternately refusing food or vomiting up everything they try to eat.

Sunday AM and the vet calls, says that there were some non-food items in Jolly's stomach, but nothing causing an obstruction, and nothing out of line with what most cats probably eat off the floor in the course of being infuriating morons anyway. Some other findings -- low white blood cell count, swollen lymph nodes, inflamed pancreas, but nothing of interest on biopsy. Still waiting on cytology results, but started him on a broad spectrum antibiotic and anti-parasitic just in case. Thinks it's probably something communicable since the other cats were affected as well.

The other cats are hopefully, slowly, please please please on the mend. Happy threw up his breakfast but ate a very modest dinner and managed to keep it down. We just offered him some more and my husband said he inhaled it, he's sitting in my lap and purring like he owns the world at the moment.

Rosie ate 3 churus in a row and kept a small dinner down as well. Spencer hasn't been sick but he's been on and off with his food (which isn't super surprising, as he's on a prescription food that he's not a huge fan of to begin with.) Link has been completely unaffected this whole time. Pym is barely eating, but Pym barely eats even at her best, so I suspect that's just Pym being Pym. She ate most of a Churu, but she's sour with me because I tried to pill her and it's clearly the worst thing that's ever happened to her. She's been off her Prozac for 2 days now, which isn't helping.

Had to REMIND the vet to call me and tell me what the fuck is going on with Jolly. They didn't feed him breakfast but supposedly offered him dinner that he didn't touch. They're going to try again tonight, and remove his cone in case that's putting him off.

Link and Happy were wandering the hall crying for him last night. Broke my heart into a million pieces.

When all is said and done we'll probably be at around $7,000 for this mess. I understand the emergency vet was just doing his job, and we could have refused the surgery, but I do feel like everything was pointing to it being viral.

But they're worth it, I in no way begrudge them the cost. We're going to have to shelve some plans we had and scale down some other things, but we'll make it work.

Lord but I am stressed and tired, though. I want to take off tomorrow and deep clean the house, but don't feel like I can. Maybe I'll just do a thorough clean of the office while I'm working.

Made Marc his tofu scramble for the week, however, and my tofu egg salad for lunches. My friend who is going through chemo received the gifts I got her and seems touched and happy. I wish she'd let me help more, but I'll do what I can for her. Small wins. I'm sad and frustrated and angry about things I can't do much about, but I'm trying to stay positive.

Tomorrow I'll do my best and refocus on my goals.

#personal #journal entry

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gtzgoblin · 1 year

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Things I've learned as a 20.8year diabetic #2 (pregnancy/postpartum life)

So, I had a baby. Like, nearly 4 years ago now. Go me. I know. I am a real life old person 😂

I didn't really know much about being diabetic and pregnant at the time, other than my hba1c needed to be good and the baby might be big. I didn't have access to a CGM at the time but I self-funded the libre til I had 3 dud sensors in a row so stopped. I think I was 52mmol/mol when we got preggo and it went down to 34mmol/mol.

I don't think I struggled much with general pregnancy if I'm honest, other than becoming vaguely fixated on not going hyper. I had a lot of hypos but that was about it. I wasn't sick very often and it was really frustrating but the diet change to go low carb wasn't massively difficult for me, and because of it I barely gained any weight. The baby didn't have any issues and she came out like 6lb5oz so yeah, not bad at all.

I had this dumb idea in my head though that when the baby was out I'd be able to work out and walk with her and cook and all the things you think you should do on mat leave. Which is hilarious in hindsight coz I ended up stuck to the couch treating constant hypos like a zombie. Being pregnant and diabetic is hard but for me breastfeeding was even harder, but because I knew that it reduces the risk of type 1 in kids I kept going with it even though I didn't produce enough milk anyway and the hypos were never ending. The amount of sugar I consumed combined with the tiredness from not sleeping combined with not wanting to cook because I'm tired and also generally rubbish and don't have the attention span to actually learn anything meant we ate a lot of takeaway food, and a lot of fast crap when I remembered to eat through the day (which wasn't very often coz I was constantly having sugar for the hypos so wasn't ever really hungry - (wow, so you think that made the hypos worse??? 🙄)). So anyway. I put on a silly amount of weight.

Then I thought when I stop breastfeeding and go back to work that it'd be easier. But actually I was more tired because then I was working on top and I had less time again because when I get home I have the whole night routine to do, but also, I want to see my kid. And the dreaded mum guilt is real, too. Past me is an idiot who needed someone to sit down with her and tell her that she was allowed time away from her child now and again, and that she was allowed to stop things that were hurting her. But you know. My husband did try. And apparently past me doesn't have ears because she also didn't listen.

So, that's taken me up to around now.

Thing is, going off my sugars I think my body has only just got back to normal. I started metformin to see if I could reduce my overall insulin amount recently and that's worked really well. I had my annual review recently and my hba1c is 47mmol/mol with like 74% in target (4% hypo!) over 90 days. My little one is now kinda old enough that we can figure out how to fit in some time on the cross trainer while she's having tea or one of us is chilling with her but it's much harder than I ever expected it to be and I've beaten myself up over and over again because I'm too big, or too tired or just not able to focus.

I've always had a rubbish attention span, I don't really like exercise, I don't really have the best relationship with food. I can't learn things that I'm not interested in very well and if I don't see quick wins I just stop. I also fade in and out of stuff really fast. And on the contrary, if I want to do something I'm obsessed with it. Meaning that spending 30mins on the cross trainer or running is not going to appeal to me when I could be on WoW or reading or whatever.

But, I'm trying to start a habit. I've already succeeded with the food in a way. I'm definitely eating less, I'm needing less sweet stuff too because I'm not low as much, and I'm making better choices. That's led to some weight loss, so I'm continuing. Quick wins. I'm hopeful if I can keep up the inside exercise until spring that I can transfer to outside exercise more, because I do actually enjoy the time alone and I do feel better when I'm active.

I guess my point here is that: mothers are allowed to have time and space, and it's really important as a diabetic that you get the right support and have a network that understands your struggles. You are allowed and should be able to keep yourself healthy. But if you've just had a baby and you're struggling with all of this, it's normal, it's crazy and can be for a while, and you're good to close your shutters and wait it out for a while. Please don't feel guilty. Your baby needs you good as much as they need you generally, if not more.

You're doing great.

#type 1 diabetes #diabetes #type 1 problems #type 1 diabetic #type 1 pregnancy #type 1 postpartum #type 1 looks like me #things ive learned as a type 1 diabetic

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finelinevogue · 3 years

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Can we get some more brother!harry?

I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️

of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;

Natalia.

Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.

Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.

You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.

“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.

“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.

“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.

“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.

“But she’ll be there.”

“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”

“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.

“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”

“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.

“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.

You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;

“She just wants attention.”

The restaurant was very pretty.

It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.

“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.

“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.

“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”

You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.

“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.

“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.

“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.

“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.

“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.

“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.

“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.

“N-no I was just—”

“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.

“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.

“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.

“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.

“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.

“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.

“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.

Lunch went by slowly.

Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.

“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.

“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.

“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.

“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.

“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.

“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.

“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?

“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.

“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”

“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”

“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”

“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”

“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.

“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.

“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.

“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.

Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.

You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.

You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.

“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.

“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.

“Ye—”

“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.

“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.

“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.

“What has she said to you, because—”

“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.

“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.

“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.

“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.

“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.

“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”

“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.

“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.

“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”

With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue harry styles #finelinevogue #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #harry blurb #harry styles x sister!reader #harry styles sister concept #harry styles sister #harry styles masterlist #finelinevogue blurbs #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #anon response #anon #harry styles angst #harry styles sister angst blurb

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